#chicken boy and fish guy...

[crunchybeards]

Older Apollo and Shane being friends doodles. They're so similar. They would only start being friends when they're in the 40s🥺

[fieriframes]

[This is my favorite restaurant on Maui. Firing fish taco. Surprised if they didn’t do very well in there... Night fell. MORRIN: Pulled pork quesadilla going on the plate. I love supporting the boys.]

[sydwritess]

Poison

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Summary: Lando and his friends convince reader to have a nice dinner at readers apartment. When Lando gets stuck at a meeting, his friends and reader play a prank on Lando for when he gets home.

First Person POV

After the Monaco race, Lando's friends wanted to celebrate privately with him. No press. No cameras. Just a nice dinner. I had known his friends for a while now, sure. But never hosted a full on dinner. I was in the middle of prepping dinner when my phone buzzed. I walk over and see that Lando was calling.

"Hey Lan what's up?" I said cheerfully.

"Hey." He said sadly.

"What's wrong?" I said, noticing his tone.

"I have bad news. I got a meeting stuck on me today. I'm going to be late for dinner." He said, fixing the cap on his head.

"It's okay. Do you want to reschedule tonight?" I asked.

"No, no. It will be a lot. I'll just be late is all." He said lowly.

"Okay. Well good luck, do you know how long it will be?"

"Not sure. Maybe and hour tops?"

"Okay. I'll just push cooking back. It's no biggie." I said shrugging.

"Thank you. I will see you home." He said.

"Great. Good luck, love you." I said.

"I love you." He said, then hung up. I went to go put the ingredients back in the fridge seeing how dinner was pushed back. A few minutes later I heard the a knock on the door. I went to open it to see all of the guys standing there.

"Hey. Come on in." I said.

"Hey y/n." Lewis said.

"Hi." George said.

"Y/n." Kimi said cheerfully. All of the guys came in the apartment, and sat at the kitchen table.

"Lando is going to be late. Guess he got stuck at a meeting." I said.

"That's alright. We need to talk to you." Max said. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. We were wondering if you wanted to play a prank on him." Charles said, rubbing his hands together with a big smirk.

"Okay. What is it?" I ask.

"Well first we need to know what your cooking." George said.

"I was going to say that mate." Max said, sharply looking at George. George just gave him a glare.

"Hey. Focus." I said, snapping at the two.

"Yes. What are you cooking?" George said again.

"His favorite. Pizza. I said.

"Hmm. Not sure how that will work." Oscar said.

"What?" I asked again.

"We were thinking, maybe when you serve Lando's food tonight, you serve him fish instead of pizza." Carlos said.

"Oh. Wait that's good." I said smirking.

"Yeah. Can you do it?" Kimi asked.

"Since you asked so nicely." I paused. "Were are you going to get fish?" I asked. Lewis then held up a brown paper bag, inside was a piece of haddock.

"We're thinking of breading it. Putting it on a nice plate of lettuce." He said smiling. "Oh yeah, not to mention, it has it's head on and everything. We really want to mess with him." He said slyly.

I cringed a bit inside.

"Yeah. It's kind of hard to do with pizza. That's why were were hoping you were going to make something with breaded chicken or something. So he can eat it." Max smirked.

"Okay I won't torture him that much." I laughed.

"Alright alright, fine." He said, putting his hands in the air. The boys spent the next half an hour playing card games and watching TV, I eventually got started on dinner, everybody was laughing, and having fun.

I started saucing the dough. I made Lando's pizza first which was just a plain cheese.

"Hey what kind of toppings do y'all want?" I shouted to the boys, who were loudly chanting at the card game they played."

"Cheese."

"Pepperoni."

"Cheese."

"Peppers." Different voices said at once.

"How about cheese and pepperoni." I said. I got a bunch of yes's. The group started quieting down now.

"Hey Kimi, you sure you don't want to try pineapple." I smirked, turning around to him.

"Wow, that's an insult to the Italians mate." He said. Everybody laughed. I got to work on the second pizza when Lewis came over to get the fish out of the fridge.

"How are you cooking this?" He asked, holding the bag up.

"I'll probably throw it in the oven so he doesn't get suspicious on why the fryer is out." He nodded.

"Do you need help?" He asked.

"If you want to, you can work on that." I pointed. He nodded and got the breading out. We both got done and put everything in the oven so it would bake. Then we sat at the table.

"What do you think he will say to the dish?" George said.

"God, he'd probably break up with her." Charles said laughing.

"Awe that would be sad actually." Kimi said.

"It's a joke mate." Oscar said.

"You know." I said, breaking into the conversation. "You are literally the sweetest. You always say sorry, you are polite. I've never met such a person." I said, looking at Kimi. His face got red.

"Hey what about me?" Carlos answered.

"You yelled at me one time for "taking your boyfriend" Carlos." I said laughing. He tilted his head while nodding.

"What about me? Am I not?" Max added.

"Maybe. You are a bit snippy." I said.

"Isn't that true." George mumbled.

"What was that?" Max whipped his head to the other end of the table.

"I have no regrets." George said. Max looked sharply at him.

"Hey, you two better behave or I will make you sit right next to each other every time your over." i said, pointing at him.

"Way to go y/n." Charles said laughing. Just then the door opened. Lando walked in, dropping his keys at the side table and walking over.

"Hey Lando." the group answered.

"Everyone." he said, waving, nodding his head slightly. He pulled up a chair next to me and slouched in it.

"What are you doing?" he asked the table.

"Watching y/n parent the children." Oscar said.

"Children?" Lando repeated.

"Yeah children. George and Max just giving off death looks. But it's alright cause she threated to seat them near each other." Kimi laughed. Lando laughed after him.

"What's for dinner. I'm starving." Lando said, placing a hand over his stomach.

"Mate you just ate two hours ago before he left. A whole turkey wrap at that." Carlos said.

"I'm a growing man Carlos." Lando said smiling.

"It's a surprise." I said, answering his previous question.

"Oo, is it pizza!" He exclaimed.

"You'll have to wait." I said. Lewis had started passing out cards to their next game. We all played two rounds before the oven beeped. Signaling that dinner was done.

"I'll be back." I said, putting my deck down.

"I'll come help out." Lewis said, jumping up behind me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly, while Lewis got the fish out.

"Here." he said, going to the fridge. He got out some lettuce leaves, and placed them on a plate. Then he topped it with the fish. I began cutting the pizza, grabbing plates and getting them ready.

"Oo pizza! My favorite!" Lando said excitedly. He then sat up.

"Yes, but you have to close your eyes. I did something special for you." I said smirking.

"As long as I get pizza" He said smiling. He had no idea what was coming. I first served everybody at the table including myself, then went back to the kitchen to get the fish.

"Your eyes closed?" I ask from behind the wall.

"Yup." He said, Lewis nodded, looking at me. I brought the fish out, placed it in front of him and sat next to him.

"Alright, open your eyes." I said slyly.

He opened his eyes and jumped up so quickly. I've never seen him move that fast.

"OH MY GOD! What is that!" He said, panicking like it was a bomb.

"It's your special plate mate." Charles said, hiding his laughter. The whole group was trying not to laugh.

"Mate oh my god! It's got it's head and everything!" Lando yelled.

"It's alright. You just chop it off. Like this." Max said, grabbing a knife and smoothly taking the head off.

"Oh my god! It's poison!" Lando argued.

"It's protein." George laughed out.

"Oh my god! I can't believe you would do such a thing." Lando said, still freaking out. Looking at me. I burst out laughing at him. The whole table did to. He flipped me off jokingly.

"Awe, are you emotional." Oscar teased.

I took the plate away back to the kitchen and got him his pizza.

"Oh my._" he said, looking at me.

"No no no no no!" He yelled as I went to set the plate down.

"What? I questioned. He just walked away, and eventually came back with a sanitize wipe.

"Mate are you serious?" Carlos laughed.

"I don't want fish remnant near my delicious pizza!" Lando said.

"It was a on a plate though." Max said, laughing and eating his pizza.

"It was near it!" Lando argued back. He threw the wipe away and sat down.

"Can't believe you would do such a thing. Teaming up with these idiots." Lando said, looking at me.

"Did we hurt someone's wittle feewings." Carlos teased in a baby voice.

"Yes." Lando said, eating his pizza.

"Your okay, it didn't jump at you. It was dead. On a plate." George said.

"It could've!" Lando said. The table laughed again.

"I can't believe you would team up against me!" He said in a whining tone, looking at me.

"You'll live baby." I said, giving him a quick hug.

"You won't." he said quietly.

"Oh was that a death threat?" I said.

"No-"

"Well, I might just have to cut the breaks on your tires then. Won't I?" I said, smirking.

"Not if i get to it first." He said back.

"You'll cut your own tires?" Lewis said.

"No- It came out wrong." Lando back up.

"Looks like Oscar is going to win the next race. Yeah?" Max teased. The whole table laughed, including Lando.

"Small and harmless prank." I smiled.

"Yes. Let's go with harmless." Lando smiled. We all continued eating, enjoying the night. After dinner we played games, watched TV, everything that concluded a celebratory night. And it was amazing.

Hey loves! Hope you like this one! Comment to be added to the F1 tag list!

[lingulaca]

"I guess you're new to this too"

Wayne doesn't have a place to stay, so he joins your family for dinner.

៚ word count - 1,175

៚ author's note - i looove wayne so i had to write smut about him. what a delicious boy am i right guys ?

also reader is intended to be the nurse's daughter

"...cause it's like, obviously the better option but she wanted me to ask you since you're the guest." You shifted, getting comfortable in your spot right next to Wayne. He just sighs as he leans back, ice pack over his right eye. The leather couch squeaked. He'd gotten into another fight, you assumed. "Yeah..." He wistfully mumbles.

"That... wasn't an answer." You turned your head to glance at your mom. She was still in the kitchen, prepping carrots and celery. Her music only got louder every second. "Huh?" Wayne yawned. The car ride to your house went on for so long he was on the cusp of slumber. "Chicken or fish?" You scooted closer, looking into his eyes to make sure he hadn't completely dozed off. He gave a lazy smile, hands falling to his sides. "I'll just tell her you said fish." You got up before being stopped by Wayne's fingers tugging at the hem of your shirt. "What kind of fish?" He feigned curiosity, Truthfully, he didn't give a fuck about the fish, his appetite was non-existent as a result of whatever meds your mom made him take so he likely wouldn't eat. "It's... flounder." It was Wayne's turn to grin now. "I love flounder." He didn't. He loved looking at your boobs. The angle happened to be perfect.

"It's good, right? The rice? I didn't overcook it, did I?" You rolled your eyes at your mom's words. Luckily, your younger cousin says what everyone was probably thinking. "Auntie, nobody cares." You notice Wayne right beside you, chuckling as he shovels what's on the plate into his mouth. "Is the fish okay? I seasoned it." He nods eagerly.

Suddenly, you get an idea. Taking one last sip of your drink, you tap Wayne's arm a few times before rushing off to your room downstairs. Wayne turns, causing his chair to creak. His thought process is a bit delayed, but he's always been curious about you so because the only one on one conversation you two ever had didn't satisfy that curiosity, he follows you. "May I be excused, miss?" He groans, the pain medicine from before was starting to wear off. "Oh of course, of course! Bathroom's in the middle of the hall."

Wayne's startled when he finds you sitting on top of the dryer. "Jesus, fuck, you scared me." You laughed, moving to lie down instead. "Sorry, wanted to surprise you..." "Well, consider me surprised." He leans on the wall, eyes focused on the sliver of skin above your waistband. "You should probably lock the door. She'd freak if she found out you were here with me alone." He then clambers to do as you said, struggling a little. "Let me-" He shakes his head. "No, I got it. Your door has a weird lock." Oh, right. "It's broken. The original one, I mean. My mom, that crazy bitch, she destroyed the thing with a knife a couple years back." Wayne' looks concerned but he keeps his smile. His brain feels all cloudy. "Why the hell would she do something like that?" You shrug. It was too long of a story, and you didn't wanna scare your guest away. "Early menopause, I guess. How'd you get that uh, black eye?" Wayne sat on the stairs right in front of your washer and dryer. "Some guy was pickin' on some kid." "Wow..." Your legs swung while you sat back up. "Yeah." Wayne's fingers tap the wall rhythmically. "So, you got a boyfriend?" He asks to make conversation. You smile, tone lowering in a teasing way. "Hm...?" "Nothing I just, uh... y'know, girls don't usually do all this with a guy they barely know if they have a boyfriend waiting on them. You invited me into your room."

"Alright, you got me, I don't have a boyfriend. Satisfied?" You're towering over him now, making him speechless. He looks up at you with his big, brown eyes. "C'mon, I got a king size bed, no reason for us to be sittin' over here." Wayne follows you again, as mindlessly as last time. Your bed is comfortable, lots of blankets and pillows and the mattress isn't one of those too soft ones. "I like your bed." He realizes that he's probably too close, though he doesn't move. "I like you." You grab his hand which makes him jump. Your hands were gentle and warm in contrast to his rough ones, still cold from being outside all day. "What?" He mumbles. "What?" You reply, lips only an inch away from his.

He's sure he died and went to heaven when you kissed him. He gasps when you pull him close, nearly on top of you at this point. "Um, I uh..." He averts his gaze. This can't be real, he thinks. Oh, but he knows it is. He knows it's real when he feels your hands go to his hair, treating the strands with more softness than he deserves. "Wayne," You whisper to him. "It's okay, just do what you would normally do." He doesn't know what he would normally do. He's never gone this far with anyone, but he'll be damned if he reveals that information now of all times. "Y- yeah. Yeah, I will." His voice is full of meek confidence.

"Aww, you don't know how to?" Wayne's face flushes. "Don't..." He wants to tell you to stop talking to him like a baby, but all that comes out are wordless whimpers. He hides his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet vanilla scent. He grinds his hips against yours, making you bite your lip as to not let out any sounds. "What I... what I normally do, yeah." What Wayne normally does is stay in his room and jerk of maybe twice a day. He assumes he'll have to find a new daily routine now that he's your guest.

He finds your entrance after getting multiple layers of clothing off you, pushing your panties to the side out of frustration. He looks into your eyes as he slips his first two fingers in, he read somewhere that girls love that. "Wayne, fuck," Your eyes roll back as you grasp the sheets under you. His free hand slid up your skirt. "Already, huh? I guess you're new to this too..." His fingers push upwards, poking and prodding at that spongy part deep inside you. "Wayne, mmm... I'm oh my god, I'm cumming..." This makes his eyebrows raise briefly before getting right back to the task at hand. What he lacks (for now) in dirty talk, he makes up for in technique. His thumb comes up to swipe over your clit which makes you finally reach your peak.

Wayne pulled his fingers from you and scanned the room in search of a rag for only a few seconds before nonchalantly licking your juices off of his hand. "Sorry you didn't, uh..." You start, having just caught your breath. "Nah, it's fine." He grins, showing you his no longer soaking hand. "Squeaky clean."

[inkdrinkerworld]

i love your writing so much, thank you for everything <3 (especially for post!prison spencer and sunshine!reader!!!) i was thinking about spencer and r are hanging out. still, no one from the team knows yet. she saved his contact as “cutie pie” or some other pet name (and maybe even he doesn't know it yet), and he calls, but someone from the team picks up her cell phone before she does and answers like “uuuuh who are you, 'cutie pie?'” and the spencer was "what???? who's cutie pie???"

Spencer’s at home sick. He’d come over before his fever set in and he’d been delirious by the time he crawled into your bed. 

You wanted to stay home too, to take care of him and make him chicken noodle soup that would’ve been too spicy or make him take his medicine- he can be a bit of a baby about the liquid stuff. 

Instead, you had to come to work. 

You left medicine on your bedside, a large glass of water and a couple sleeves of saltines for Spencer. 

At work you’d been texting back and forth when he woke up, giggling and smiling much to Luke and Matt’s confusion. 

“Who’s got you smiling like that?” Luke asks and you lock your phone, holding it against your chest. 

“Just someone I’m talking to.” 

It’s the wrong thing to say because just as the words leave you Penelope is in the bullpen and you look up at her like you’ve been caught red handed. 

It’s not that you and Spencer are trying to keep your relationship a secret. It’s that you’ve only just started dating- maybe a month. You know Penelope will feel betrayed for a few minutes before asking for updates. 

“Who is this someone?” She asks and you shrug, not wanting to say too much. 

Your phone pings again and Matt raises his eyebrow- he’s come to be like a protective brother to you. 

“Is it serious?” He asks, watching you bite your lip to hide your smile. 

“Yeah, I’d say so.” 

Penelope squeals, your phone rings. You freeze for a moment when your phone announces, “Baby.” 

She lunges before you do, snatching your phone from your hands and then answering. 

“Who are you, ‘baby’?” Penelope says and you bite your lip, hoping Spencer is at least a bit coherent. 

“Put it on speaker, Garcia.” Luke says and you shriek, apologies already circling your head for Spencer. 

Penelope does as asked, and repeats her question. “Well mystery Baby, who are you?”

Spencer’s voice is hoarse and confused as he repeats, “Who’s baby? Penelope is that you? Where’s Y/n?” 

The entire bullpen goes quiet, a crippling sort of silence that is longing to be shattered. It goes unshattered and stretches till the tension makes the room taut. 

“I’m here, I’ll call you back Spence.” You say quickly, body hot as you rush to hang up. 

“So, the boy genius huh?” Penelope says, a chuckle breaking through your group. 

“I knew it!” Matt said, opening his hand as Luke fishes out his wallet. 

“What did you know, Simmons?” You ask, watching Luke place what looks to be a couple hundred dollars in Matt’s hand. 

“That you and the good doctor were seeing each other.” He says like it’s no big deal. “I knew it from the second day when you guys started doing your crosswords together.” 

You blow a raspberry, not even you knew you were going to end up with Spencer. 

“Rossi’s going to love this gos!” Penelope says, rushing out with a wave of her arm. 

“We are happy for you, you’re cute together.” Luke compliments, laughing when you hide behind your hands. 

When the drama dies down you text Spencer, I think everyone is now aware that we’re together. Oops 

Spencer texts back, more coherent than you’d thought he’d be given the temperature of his fever: That’s not so bad. At least now I can kiss you between the crosswords. 

You roll your eyes, You already do that, genius. 

Spencer’s response has you a mess of emotions. So, baby huh? I didn’t think you’d be fond of that one. 

Go take your medicine and get some rest, Spencer.

[snowneedsanap]

Feed a guppy, will ya miss?

The Merman's Cove // Poly!Mermay!141 x Afab!Human!Reader // Ch. 1

Tags // Reader is Afab with she/her pronouns, this is eventually a poly ending but starts with a Kyle/Johnny fic for the beginning, the boys are feral hunters, reader doesn't like fish, I don't care if it isn't MerMay anymore I want Mermen, Reader is human interacting with feral beasts of the deep, protective mermen, biting, marking, clawing, Reader def has daddy issues, will later build on once I get to writing ok loves<3

A/N // possibly smut? i am still a baby writer you guys. I don't know, this is hopefully my first longer fic and it catches on b/c I'm going through a mermaid phase.

Buying or really stealing a bucket of mackerel from your father's fishing boat was a daily habit since you remembered, since he would take you to the cove where the sea otters stayed. Their chirps and squeaks, clawing and pawing to the slippery and small fish was the only tolerating part of handling fish. Ever since living on a port city that thrived off of it's fishing exports, you could never quite enjoy the delicacy the locals enjoyed. The texture, the olfaction, the taste, you could never get over. No matter if it was grilled, baked, stuffed, raw, or cooked, any sort of fish could never be to your liking.

So, imagine to your father's surprise, as an owner of his own fishing company, when his own daughter doesn't enjoy the food he catches and how he smelled at the end of the day coming back from sea. When you were younger, he would shower right as he got home to then prepare chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese right when you came home from elementary school. But as you grew and he spent more time out at sea to pay for your primary education, he would never even have the chance to see you nor even have you smell him to know that he was home.

When things hardened and after you graduated from primary, you decided to help his business by working in his store, no where of the sea and their smells and harm, and surely you kept it that way. But today, and with most days, it was raining. The small Irish island was notorious of their rough seas and torrential rain, but today was a light drizzle. With said light drizzle, and the fact that the island was home less to 400 people, all spaced out too, no one was out. Grabbing a bucket from yesterdays catch of mackerel, you sought out to the comforting cove with the smelling fish bucket to the even more smelly cavern with the salty sea otters. Making sure to watch your step, your slowly made your way to the watery and rocky seats you've known. Throwing a slippery mackerel in to attract them, despite them not already being here was offsetting, you threw one it and it plunked right in. Within a blur and not breaking the surface, a whir of black and deep green snatched the dead fish. Immediately knocking the bucket back and leaning down over the rock's edge to get a quick glimpse, of what you've thought could've been a tuna, but definitely was not the coloring, you peered down into the dark waters. Unbeknownst to you, a pair of bright blue, starking humanoid eyes were staring right back.

As you stared into the murky waters, wondering what sort of fish could possibly be larger than the size of a shark but also not break the surface tension.

A splash of cold water broke your attention, making you take a step back and wipe the nasty salty sea water off of your face. You blink a few times to make sure nothing is in your eyes, you look back to the waters to see a head with green iridescent scales aligning the scalp, pointed high with one large fin down the middle. It's hair was, odd, the sides were shaven and had given it the appearance of a mohawk. It's eyes pierce to yours, a glare sending a shiver down your spine.

It was humanoid. No, it was a merfolk. The one your father always warned your about, whenever he would tell you stories out at sea, where he would see half fish half women, but you would always laugh and call him delirious, tell him to take his vitamin c pills so he doesn't get 'scurvy' like a real pirate.' What a joke.

What a joke you seriously thought when this merfolk stared you down. You felt choked, bewildered, and creeped out to find out that your father's stories were somewhat, factually true. Barely moving a muscle, the merfolk dives back in. In a flash, the same shadow you saw snatched the dead mackerel swam by. Then, it's head popped back up, closer. It eyed the metal bucket by your side, where it's dumped contents laid out by your side. Without words but understanding, you threw another fish. The merfolk jumped out and caught it with it's razor teeth, almost full body propelling itself up. Toned with white scars that had never healed properly, a strapped leather weapon to, to his chest, you realized. It was a merman.

Wanting to know more about this merman despite your father's previous warnings, you threw in more mackerel. It went back in for more, swiping each one. Peering down over the edge, his head moved back up. Then he swam closer to get a closer look too it seemed, to where you saw a large fish hook in the corner of his right gills. They pulsate from the lack of water but also the pain from the metal imbedded into the flesh. Frowning, but also having experience with unhooking and releasing, so you motion for him to move closer to hopefully remove it without anymore pain.

Begrudgingly, he swims forward. Swiftly without another blink, the hook is removed without anymore harm to the flesh. Smiling, you throw the rest of the fish to him. He stares at you, shocked as you removed the hook effortlessly. His siren eyes stare a while before you catch on, where you then realize you have befriended a fear of your father's.

Chapter 1 || Next Chapter ->

[whore-ibly-hot]

Hello and Happy Holidays to you! I've been a lurker of this blog and I just gotta say that your Boarding School Series heals me, my crops are thriving, skin cleared, grades immaculate, all that- /pos

I hope asking for some info about the teaching staff would be okay? Regardless of if its general or a little more specific, what are each of the staff member's envisioned future with the reader? (Staring [dis]respectfully at all of them)

LETS GOOOOO! The crops are looking good, my anons won't starve! Now let's see....

Mr. Burton: As far as what he sees for him and the reader, he wants to get back into the art scene. Maybe not through his own work, but as a dealer or even a critic. He doesn't want a huge mansion, to much upkeep, but a nice studio in a big city sounds just perfect. He wants you sitting pretty by his side, his muse for paintings and photos. Of course, he'd never display or seel that art, it's a personal passion project. He wouldn't necessarily want kids, but would be 'meh' if not a little annoyed if some came along. Still, the idea of raising a prodigy... He's also the kind of guy to refuse to get a pet but gets very attached to whatever animal you move in with. A kitten? He's using its paws to make those dumb little cat paw paintings online? A dog? He's training it to bring him the brushes and gouache.

Coach Koslov: He loves coaching, the schools athletics department is thriving, and he's happy working with star athletes. However, he wants you away from here. It's simply not healthy, all these boys. You need a man, him. He's got a big home, from his days of being an athlete and olympian, for galas and parties. However, it's long empty now. He'd love to bring life into the home again, get you, and two big ass dogs. He goes for runs frequently, and he would love a pair of bruisers to take on walks but cuddle and love all the same. Children? He worries he's too old for them, but if you insist, he'd get through it and realize how much he wants them. An orthodox Russian wedding, even though he's not religious it's a cultural thing. He'd be a doting dad, the kind to strap the baby to his chest before a run. He's also one of the dad who insist on swim training for the babies safety but sobsnwhen the instructor pushes them in the pool. Little league? Hell yeah.

Critch: He's a simple man, he likes quiet nights of reading at home, and a clean home with a cup of warm tea. He'd want to be traditional, marrying you in a pretty white dress, regardless of your gender, carrying you over that threshold and making you his. Hes expect you to cook and clean, again, regardless of gender, but in return he'd spoil you with travel to luxury places and home upgrades. Experiences, not pointless material items, as he explains to you. He has no pets of his own, but he's a frequent bird feeder oddly enough. Finds it relaxing. He's far to old to want to have a child with you, but he is one for discipline and creating a better, 'proper', future for someone, so he wouldn't be against adopting someone, just older than a toddler.

Kory Koffman: I made a post about Kory already, but to summarize he wants a nice home with plenty of kids, who he can teach and nuture. He's very focused on giving them a life he didn't have, one where he was lonely and outcasted from other kids. Luckily, he always had his mother's love, and he wants his kids to experience that too. He'd be a great dad, saving up the moment you even mention kids to get a bigger home. He'd love a cat, someone snuggle to curl up on his lap while he reads. Or a fish tank with native fish, he loves the sound of running water.

Mr. Murphy: He's the kind of guy who wants a big ol' house outside of city limits, a farmhouse with land for a couple chickens, maybe goats, and a forest nearby for good hunting and fishing. He comes from a big happy family, all boys, and he wants a huge wedding despite not being one for pageantry. You're special, you've made an impact on him and you deserve a grand wedding. Once your married, he'd want a housewife to; like his mama. Cooking and cleaning while he works, coming home and kissing you while helping you finish a stew. Then laying in bed, maybe taking a roll in the hay. Sounds perfect. He'd go to the shelter with you for a big dog, but somehow leave with the oldest, crustiest senior dog they had. He knows what it's like to feel insecure about being past your prime, seen as gruff and not worth someone's time. It hurts him, so know you've got a rickety little yelper scurrying around the house and laying on his daddy's lap. He wants kids, as many as possible to fill up that farm house of his, but i can sense he's a bit of a girl dad. Family camping trips are frequent, he wants his kiddos as interested in nature as he is, not just how to hunt and kill, but to appreciate it.

[flwoie]

LOVE IN DISGUISE — PARK SUNGHOON

SUMMARY Secrets are meant to be kept. Sunghoon never keeps secrets though, well except one—his friends being members of a super secret spy team. He finds out on the night he gets kidnapped and is rescued by them. That night, his friend offers him to be a part of the team to stop an organization, SPY-DER LILLIES, from destroying their campus and agency, I.R.I.S (International Resource for Intellectual Spies). And like the goofy goober he is, he joins for a jetpack and to impress his longtime friend and crush, the black cat agent, in order to win her heart before the spiders come crawling up his back.

TUNE IN TO WATCH THE SERIES OF SUNGHOON LEARNING HOW TO BE THE WORLD’S GREATEST SPY WITH HIS FRIENDS AND HIS JETPACK!

STARRING spy! sunghoon x spy! f! reader (WITH txt’s beomgyu, loossemble’s yeojin, lsfm’s kazuha, nwjns’ minji, kiof’s belle, xdh’s junhan)

GENRE smau + written, romcom, episodic, friends to lovers, college au, spy au, characters inspired by my friend group, heavily inspired by that one spy kickin’ it episode (s3, ep 21)

CONTAINS 15+, profanity, light violence, brainrot😭, spy terminology isn’t fully accurate, also 50% of the chapters in here are not even spy related, incorrect timestamps (pls ignore) (chapters will specify warnings)

STATUS airing (whenever i feel like it @ 5PM CST) | july 9, 2024 - …

SOUNDTRACK

TAGLIST IS OPEN ✧ SEND AN ASK OR COMMENT UNDER MAIN MASTERLIST

🗯️ GUYS IK IVE BEEN DIPPING SMAUS BUT TRUST ME, I WONT DIP THIS ONE….

📻 : “I.R.I.S. TEAM 5 REPORTING, OVER…!”

MISSION #001 — PILOT IN DISGUISE

↳ sunghoon joins his friends’ spy team

one : jetpack joyride [0.9k]

two : the haters be hating [0.3k + smau]

three : my tall american friend

four : cuz im a sigma…👻

five : theres many girls in the fish

six : chicken butt

seven : when there's a screen, ao3 must be seen

eight : im gonna touch u lil bro

MISSION #002 — PARTY IN DISGUISE

↳ the boys throws a boys-only party in the lair while you’re out of town

nine : back early [0.2k]

ten : w rizz amirite

eleven : fake gucci pants..

twelve : H H HELL NAH🤦‍♀️ [0.5k]

thirteen : like the roblox game?

fourteen : the hell is spoogle images [0.7k + smau]

MISSION #003 — ENEMY IN DISGUISE

↳ the team keeps tabs on an I.R.I.S spy-in-training, who’s possibly a part of the SPY-DER LILLIES

fifteen : and ur dumb

sixteen : hide ur ladies🤫🥱

seventeen : luh luh loserrr

eighteen : what an ugly pepperoni […]

ninteen : PAUSE…

twenty : btw calc is short for calculator […]

twenty one : diss me diss me now u gotta kiss me

MISSION #004 — GAMES IN DISGUISE

↳ when the team is sent on a mission to defeat a tech team of SPY-DER LILLIES, they get transported to the internet world

... to be added

MISSION #005 — WITNESS IN DISGUISE

↳ the team joins a witness protection program after witnessing a fight between two canadian spy organizations

… to be added

MISSION #006 — CRUSHES IN DISGUISE

↳ in order for sunghoon to pass his final spy assessment, he needs to get over his crush

... to be added

MISSION #007 — CAMP IN DISGUISE

↳ the team is recruited to be camp counsellors for I.R.I.S spies-in-training

... to be added

enhypen masterlist

[mereniss]

LOSING A TIMEPIECE

≡;- ꒰ °ex!Rin Itoshi x f!Reader ꒱

⋆˙⟡ — SUMMARY: Rin regrets all his life choices.

⋆˙⟡ — tw + info: angst, angst, angst. Rin is an asshole, you guys break up, reader moves on, reader marries someone else, this is rushed lol, mentions of pregnancy, children

wc: ~600

“I just feel like you don’t prioritize me enough…”

In the background, thunder shook the sky, as the high winds slashed against the windows of Rin’s high rise apartment.

“You’re always training, and never-“

He cuts you off, “Yeah, so?” He scoffs, “Soccer and training is my priority.”

“Yes, I know but…” Tears rained down your cheeks, “You always ignore me and-“

Again, he cuts you off. “You will never be a priority for me. You knew what you were signing up for when you got into a relationship with me.” His cruel words stabbed your heart a thousand times. Memories of the soft-spoken boy from when you were a teen clouded your head.

Rin watched as you rushed out of the apartment, his breath stopping for a moment when you shoved past him. Your back was hunched, face buried within your hands.

Rin thought that it would be the last time he saw you.

But it wasn’t.

The way time flows and memories flee is one of those unexplainably-beautiful phenomena. You weren’t constantly on Rin’s mind—no, it was far from it. There were times when Rin would run into objects that reminded him of you—other than that, it was as if you were an unfinished dream, a long forgotten song.

Rin was at the grocery store, picking up some energy drinks and some steak for later. Normally, his assistants would do the shopping for him — and normally, they would get groceries from some bougie store, but he happened to be in the area and decided to stop by.

He stopped at the meat section, eyes scanning each and every cut — and thats when, he noticed you.

“Y/n?” You looked up, confused at the somewhat familiar voice calling your name. His teal eyes met your e/c ones, and for just a moment—just for Rin, the world burned beneath his feet.

“Rin?” You smile, a sweet smile he fell in-love with years ago—a smile that he memorized to the last curve. “How have you been?”

Rins eyes wandered to your stomach, clearly swollen with life — and next to you was a child, maybe around the age of three. The girl looked oddly similar and nothing like you at the same time. Her hair was brown and her eyes were e/c.

The child looked up, calling you “mommy” and asking who the man was, you responded with the simple, “old friend”. Rin was a bit agitated by this, though he barely thought of you after the break up — he didn’t think that you would be doing this well in life.

“Sorry Rin, I have to get home.” You say, “Maybe we can catch up some other time?”

“Yeah.” Rin watched as you turned around, your daughter freaked out over a raw fish, and you giggled quietly. Next to you, appeared a man, looking oddly similar to your daughter. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder pulling you close and taking the cart out of your hands. In the cart was baby formula, a box of cookies, chicken breast, and some bread.

It should’ve been him. You should be with him, not this random guy.

Next time, Rin decided to come back to this exact store — went to the exact spot, waiting for you. Of course, you weren’t there.

A moment of clarity washed over Rin—a moment of grief, heartbreak, and longing settled in his heart.

This was going to be last time he’s going to see you.

[maybe-a-dinosaur]

seijoh 4 as summer camp employees

hanamaki takahiro is BUILT for this he has fun hair he’s weird he’s engaging his he’s colorful his water bottle is covered in stickers he has sandals on toes Out he is shameless he’s kinda unhinged it so works. he’s a counselor but almost never has a cabin to himself he’s more like a sub if someone else has gets sick or whatever but when he shows up it’s like a celebrity sighting a monumentous occasion. if he’s not needed anywhere else he’s helping out with arts and crafts his favorite artworks are the ones where you can’t tell what the fuck it’s supposed to be. he has lots of string friendship bracelets he knows how to make them but lies whenever someone asks he just gives them one he gatekeeps cuz he thinks it’s funny and teaching is too much work. he tells the most Outrageous ghost stories and is the reason only half of the kids will go in the lake he talks about bigfoot and campers who went missing and the town’s curse he is carrying on legacies he is SO fun.

iwaizumi hajime is the Coolest fucking counselor ever. bandana around his head sleeves cut off of the uniform tshirt (muscle tee now) he has friendship bracelets a beat up watch one anklet his water bottle is on its last leg he has a dinosaur keychain on his backpack he like epitomizes cool guy the kids idolize him. his cabin wins every single camp-wide competition every time like he’s peak athleticism and he’s just like so awesome or whatever it’s contagious. he picks kids up and throws them in the lake and pool if a frisbee gets stuck in a tree he gets it every time he caught a snake once and took it back to the woods everyone wants to sit next to him in the mess hall he can’t build a fire and is mad about it he sleeps like a fucking Rock and snores like a lawnmower and eats enough for 3 people at every meal.

oikawa tooru is a lifeguard. at the pool at the lake he’s always around the water somehow and Everyone has a crush on him. up on his lifeguard chair sunglasses on his skin is all golden whistle around his neck or spinning on his finger his hair somehow always looks good he wears a headband one day and someone literally faints. he teaches swimming and canoeing lessons and is really good at it he almost Never has to save anyone for someone who works by the water you’d think they’d swim a little more. he’s pretty quiet when he’s on duty he takes the job seriously but he’s a fucking motormouth when he’s off that chair he will Not shut up. he sits w the boys at meals running that fucking mouth pisses them off So Bad he blatantly flirts/fights with iwaizumi when the kids aren’t around and Refuses to get into a canoe with him bc it always ends up getting flipped. he’s really good with the younger kids they’re his favorite to work with but he is generally well liked throughout the camp he’s like everyone’s counselor crush and he always eats raisin bran for breakfast.

matsukawa issei is the camp cryptid he works with the older kids who like go backpacking and spend all their time in the woods he emerges looking like he’s been there all his life. he kinda just appears sometimes doing odd jobs taking things to the lost and found feeding the chickens fishing things out of the lake general camp maintenance he materializes out of the trees with a fire extinguisher a neon yellow backpack and a missing camper. he’s often accompanied by the camp dog so there are theories (encouraged by takahiro) that he’s actually a werewolf and that’s why he’s everywhere some people think he is the camp dog issei thinks this is very funny. the only place he’s consistently found is the mess hall at meals otherwise when not wandering or in the forest he can be found hanging out with hiro coming up with new ghost stories playing some sort of sport with hajime or pouring water on tooru’s head wherever he happens to be. issei is the best campfire builder on the property and some of the kids are scared of him he never has his phone can only be contacted by walkie-talkie he is the jack of all trades.

[fieriframes]

[This is my favorite restaurant on Maui. Firing fish taco. You’ve certainly done that very well, I said. MORRIN: Pulled pork quesadilla going on the plate. I love supporting the boys.]

[maviscat123]

UncleLarry's feast. Originalstory by chubbymenvore.

"Food's all ready boys! Come and get it!" Larry heard his brother call from the dining room.

"Oh good. C'mon Uncle Larry! I'm starving and this belly won't feed itself." His youngest nephew Wil said as he got up from the couch.

"Heh comin boy." Larry chuckled as he hoisted his large frame off the couch. He grabbed for remote and shut off the 'Digestion Wrestling League' match they were watching.

Larry was visiting his brother and his nephews for his brother's birthday. He was a big guy, and much like his brother and his nephews, a gluttonous hog. Their entire family were always big eaters, and when a celebration was in order, they called a catering service to prepare a feast. His brother Kent was turning the big five o today, so his sons had come home to celebrate with him.

Larry, or Uncle Larry as he was known to his nephews, was 48 years old. He was well over 350 lbs and gaining. His older brother Kent was slightly bigger at probably around 380, but he had the advantage of being a cop and getting to eat criminals and drunkards several times a week. His nephews were just like their dad, all of them voracious beasts when it came to food and had the appetites to show for it.

Larry walked into the dining room to see the large table overloaded with a literal mountain of food stacked several feet in the air. There was everything from Chinese food containers, pizzas, burritos, subs, burgers, chickens, fish, cakes, pies, ice cream, turkeys, and even a large roast pig. His brother Kent was standing at the other end of the table with a huge grin on his face, slowly rubbing over his huge rumbling belly.

"Wowee. That's a lot of food." Larry laughed.

"Nothin too good for us. Besides, gonna take a lot to fill up our tanks. Hell, this probably isn't even enough." Kent smirked as his three sons barged into the room.

Kent had three sons. Geoff, who was the eldest, was almost as big as his uncle. He was a chip off the ol block, a nice layer of hairy fat covered him from head to foot. His gut was by far his most prominent feature, jutting a good two feet from his chest, even when empty and could easily pack away a small room if he was so inclined. Kevin was the middle child. He was the skinniest in the family, but not by much. He was around 280 lbs, and just like the rest of their family, most of his weight sat proudly on his waist in the form of a nice spherical belly. Kevin had shorter hair than Geoff, deciding to keep himself tidy, shaving off his body and facial hair, giving himself a twinkish look. The youngest was Wil who would be turning 22 next month. Wil was more like Geoff than Kevin. He wasn't nearly as hairy as Geoff was, but kept his beard as long as he could. He often tried to keep up with his brother and dad, but usually couldn't handle the massive amounts of food that they could pack away and often tapped out early.

"Wow Dad! You even got a pig?" Wil said, surveying the food.

"Yup. That's for me though so hands off."

"Aww." Wil moped.

"Alright boys! Shirts off, Guts out! We don't stop until all of this food is in our bellies!" Kent shouted, pulling off his wife beater, letting his large hairy belly loose from its prison.

The rest of them followed suit, while Geoff took it a step farther and removed his pants, leaving just his underwear on.

"Hehe now that's commitment." His father laughed.

"Gotta make room for this baby." Geoff rubbed his large hairy gut. "Don't need my pants getting in the way."

Larry removed his shirt and let his own belly out. He undid the top of his jeans and left his suspenders on for extra support.

The now shirtless group all sat at the table. Kent was at one end and Larry was at the other. Geoff sat on one side of the table and Kevin and Wil sat on the other.

"Ok Boys! Dig in!" Kent roared as he grabbed a large cooked chicken from the table and stuffed it in his mouth. The rest of the family followed suit, each grabbing various things from the table and cramming it in their maws.

Eating in their family was competitive, where the fastest eater got the most food. The family didn't serve out portions like most families did, so it was all free game. The faster they were, the more they got to eat. The act of chewing food was slow, so the boys quickly learned to eat like their uncle and father, swallowing their food whole. Kevin and Wil were less ravenous eaters, usually eating one thing at a time. A lone burger or sub sandwich were often the food of choice for them, as they were easy to gulp down and move on to the next thing. Geoff was more like his father, where they would both cram as much food in their maws as they could before swallowing it all down. Mounds of food would quickly fill their maws before it was all swallowed down to their rapidly growing bellies.

-

Larry had just swallowed his 5th large turkey when his brother let out a massive belch. The food was almost half gone by this point, letting Kent grab the massive glazed pig that had been buried under the small mountain of food.

"Ok big boy. Down you go." Kent joked to the pig as he grasped the large hunk of pork and lifted it above his head. Larry watched his brother with a smile as he quickly began shoving the pig into his maw. With a loud gulp, the pig began making its way down Kent's gullet, stretching his neck massively as it was squeezed down. Larry chuckled at how easily his brother gulleted the pig, the massive 300 pound swine barely a challenge for him. Wil and Kevin having stopped eating to watch their father finish swallowing the large pig, while Geoff took the opportunity to steal food from the other side of the table and continue eating.

Kent finally drew the last of the pig into his maw and with one last lethargic gulp, swallowed the pig whole. His two youngest watched as the massive bulge moved down their father's fat neck and quickly vanished into his rapidly expanding belly.

"URRRRRRRRRRRP! Ahhh!" Kent moaned as he patted his belly. "That filled a hole." He laughed as his cell phone rang. With some effort, Kent maneuvered his phone out of his jeans and answered it.

"Kent here." He said while rubbing his spherical belly.

"Oh really? Well tell the chief I'm on my way." Kent said excitedly as his belly grumbled hungrily.

"Yup. See you in a bit. Don't eat em' all without me or you'll end up takin their place." He laughed as he hung up his phone. "Sorry boys, Dads gotta go to the station."

"Something came up?" Larry asked.

"Chiefs got a present for me. Said we caught the Morenzo biker gang in a sting operation. He's got 50 guys in lockup right now."

"What about your birthday dinner?" Kevin asked, while Geoff just grunted as he continued to cram more food into his mouth.

"You guys finish it. I'm betting my belly will be quite full by the time I get back." Kent said, grabbing his shirt and putting it on, leaving the front open so his gut still had room.

"You got no complaints from me." Larry said as he grabbed a tub of ice cream from the table and began emptying the contents into his mouth.

"Good. Keep eating boys. I expect this table to be empty when I return." Kent said as he walked out of their front door, his large belly wobbling with the mountain of food inside.

"*GULP* Think we can finish it all guys?" Larry swallowed the entire contents of the tub, the large bulge of ice cream quickly making its way down his chest and into his massive belly. He laughed as he threw the now empty 12L tub of ice cream into the pile of empty wrappers, packages, containers, and tubs of now eaten food.

"I'm sure Geoff will finish what we don't eat anyway, won't you fatass?." Kevin teased while grabbing a large bowl of profiteroles.

"MmmmMMMPH" Geoff grumbled while his mouth was full. He wedged another slice of pizza in his mouth beside the entire cake that was already in there and strenuously closed his mouth. His cheeks were the stuffed to the size of basketballs, packed full with food. He jutted his neck forward, scrunched his eyes closed, and with immense effort, began swallowing the pile of food in his mouth. His neck bulged out massively as the lump of food began moving its way out of his mouth and down his chest. His cheeks slowly returned to normal as the last of the food made its way down his throat. When the last of the food disappeared into his now massive belly, he gave his gut a hard slap and burped loudly.

"*UUUUUURP* Fuck you Kev, you just wish you could eat like me." Geoff said as he reached over his large spherical belly and grabbed more food from the table.

The four continued to eat their way through the rest of the food, the pile of food slowly disappearing into their growing bellies.

-

"*BRAAAAAAP*...Oohhhh I think that's it for me. I'm stuffed." Wil moaned as leaned back in his chair. His belly was swollen to the size of a large beach ball, rock hard from being packed fully with food. His torso and face were smeared with chocolate sauce from the last few cakes he had eaten.

*GULP*

Larry swallowed more of the lemon cakes he had doused with whipped cream. He licked his lips and turned to his nephew.

"Heh. Well done Wil. You'll be your brothers size in no time." Larry chuckled as he patted his large belly. His gut began to rumble loudly, demanding more food. He reached out for another lemon cake but stopped. He looked at Wil, who had his eyes closed as he gently rubbed over his engorged belly, slowly rubbing the chocolate sauce into his chest hair.

Deciding that Wil looks too scrumptious to pass up, he grasped Wil by the arm and dragged him up onto the table. Wil groaned as he was now resting on his swollen belly, too stuffed to move. Larry leaned forward and pinned his nephew's arms at his sides.

"W-what are you do-mmmph!" Wil asked before Larry dragged his large tongue over his face. Larry licked the chocolate sauce off his nephew for a few moments before leaning back.

"Mmm delicious." Larry chuckled. Wil coughed and gagged for a moment as he choked on his Uncle's copious amount of drool. Larry then leaned back in his chair and dragged Wil off the table and up onto his own massive belly until the two were face to face.

"I think you'll make an excellent dessert Wil. You've already went through the trouble of dousing yourself in chocolate." Larry licked his lips and opened his mouth wide, giving Wil a view of his cavernous maw.

"What?! I'm not food!" Wil shouted as he tried to break free of his Uncle's grasp. Larry ignored him and began pulling his head into his mouth. "I'm your nephew! I'm not part of the food. Don't eat me! PLE-MMMMPH!"

Larry glomped his mouth over Wil's head. He began shouting and screaming, but his cries were muffled from inside the massive mouth. He kicked and struggled hard, but Larry held him steady, slowly pulling more and more of him in.

Kevin was wide eyed, watching his younger brother slowly get devoured by their uncle.

"Geoff! Stop eating! Can't you see Uncle Larry has gone nuts?" Kevin shouted at his older brother. Geoff stopped shoving food into his mouth for a second to look at Kevin and then to Larry, who was now sliding his lips over Wil's neck. He looked back at Kevin who was freaking out, shrugged, and continued to stuff his face, jamming another pie into his mouth among the smorgasbord of food.

*GULP*

Kevin looked over to see his Uncle work Wil's shoulders and chest into his mouth. Larry was taking his time, lathering his tongue over every inch of his nephew before sending him further into his digestive track. Kevin flipped out and grabbed his brother's feet and tried pulling.

*ULP*

With a massive gulp, Wil was lurched forward, releasing him from his brothers grasp. Larry's maw was now around Wil's upper chest, while his nephew's arms were pinned at his sides. Larry tossed his head back, bringing Wil above his head, and swallowed deeply. Wil kicked wildly as his large belly began sinking into his Uncle's mouth. Kevin could see the massive bulge his brother was making in their Uncle's chest as he slowly sank downwards Without slowing, Larry took another gulp, pulling Wil's immensely packed belly into his maw completely.

Kevin panicked and pulled out his phone and dialed his dad. He thought that his dad could dissuade Uncle Larry from swallowing his brother.

The phone rang for a few moments before his dad picked up.

"*BRAAAAAAAPPP* Ugh-Kent here." Kevin heard his dad.

"DAD! I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON BUT UNCLE LAR-" He shouted before being cut off by his dad.

"Hold on a sec bud. COMERE YOU! NOBODY EATS MY FRIEND! *GLOMP*" Kevin heard through the phone. He waited as he heard loud gulping noises among various lewd noises in the background. Loud gulps and belches could be heard in the background as well as the up-close gulping noise.

"*ULP* Ooof. That'll teach you. Enjoy my gut big guy!" Kevin heard his dad shout.

"DAD!" Kevin shouted.

"Hey Kev. Sorry about that. What's going on?" Kent asked his son, as several shouts could be heard in the background.

"DAD! UNCLE LARRY IS EATING WIL!" Kevin screamed into the phone.

"WHAT?! THAT GLUTTONOUS FUCKER BETTER NOT BE EATING HIM. I SWEAR WHEN I GET HOME HE'LL BE IN MY BELLY BEFORE YOU CAN-*GLOMP*" Kent's shouting was cut off. There was a muffled yell among the many shouts and eating noises before the phone was quickly muffled.

"DAD!?" Kevin shouted. He could hear muffled shouting now and various noises, but they quickly turned into loud gulping noises and were replaces by wet slurping noises.

"DAD! ANSWER ME!" Kevin screamed, but he could only hear more wet slurping noises. This continued for a few moments before the phone cut out.

"DAD?! DAD!" Kevin shouted. He threw his phone in anger.

*GULP*

Kevin turned to Larry to see Wil was down to his knees, his shorts and underwear tossed among the mountain of discard cans and containers from the evening festivities. Larry was guiding in Wil's legs with one hand while he had the other resting behind his head.

Larry moaned as he swallowed again, pulling Wil all the way down until just his feet were outside his mouth. He could feel his nephew struggling in his belly among the massive amount of food he had swallowed before him. He began licking at Wil's feet, tickling them so slightly that it caused him to struggle extra hard for a few moments.

"GEOFF STOP EATING!" Kevin shouted to his brother. Geoff stopped shoving the 3rd watermelon into his massively stuffed mouth and looked up at his brother. Kevin was red in the face from screaming so much. They both looked over at Larry who had taken the canister of whipped cream and doused his meal's toes with a hefty serving.

Geoff let out a chuckle and finished cramming the watermelon into his mouth, bulging out his left cheek another few inches or so. With only a few things left on the table, Geoff reached out and grabbed a plate of steaks.

"DAMMIT GEOFF ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME?" Kevin shouted, slamming his hands on the table. Geoff looked up at Kevin, before they heard a loud slurping noise. They both looked at Larry, who was loudly lapping at Wil's toes, licking them clean of any whipped cream. He let out a soft moan as he held the last of his meal steady while he thrashed wildly in his belly.

Geoff's gut let out a loud grumble. The two remaining nephews turned back to each other before Geoff let out a deep muffled laugh. He quickly let go of the plate of steaks and grasped his brother's hands. Before Kevin could react, he was pulled onto the table, shoving the remaining food out of the way. Geoff quickly shoved his brother's hands into his maw, cramming them in among the pile of food in his mouth already. Kevin screamed, and tried to pull away, but Geoff held him tightly in place while he continued to jam his arms in his mouth. Kevin began kicking and flailing wildly on the table as his elbows disappeared into his brother's mouth. He could feel his arms squished among the various food sitting in Geoff's mouth. Geoff put his hand on the back of his brother's head and slowly pushed, shoving Kevin's face against his brother's bearded mouth. Kevin's screams were soon muffled as his head was slowly pushed inside, swelling out Geoff's cheeks even further, as they strained to hold the massive amounts of food.

Meanwhile, Larry had finished licking all the whipped cream off Wil's toes, leaving them wiggling in the air, just outside his lips. Larry moaned one last time and decided it was time to finish his wonderful meal. He let go of the wriggling toes with his left hand and let his throat do the work. He felt the last of Wil slowly slip down into his mouth, dragging the toes between his lips and out of sight. He let gravity slowly pull his nephew down until he felt the feet reach the back of his throat.

*Glurk*

With a quick gulp, Larry swallowed his nephew whole. He felt his fat neck contract as the feet slipped down his gullet quickly and joined the rest of his nephew. Once he felt them slip completely inside his belly, he opened his eyes and looked down. Before him was his large, spherical gut, protruding a good four feet from his chest and shaking wildly. A smile crept across his face as he watched Wil struggle in his new home, shifting and maneuvering himself among the mass of food in there with him, while he worked to get himself into a comfortable position.

Larry finally looked over to Geoff, who was busy working his younger brother's waist into his mouth. He smiled as he admired his nephews pure gluttony, willing to do anything to sate his appetite. Geoff's cheeks were bulging wildly now, as Kevin tried to fight his way out. It reminded him of when he and Kent were back in college, playing chubby bunny with the local frats. Kent managed to cram 14 guys in his mouth while Larry only managed 11, but only because they ran out of guys. He smirked to himself as he remembered how it took Kent nearly 20 minutes to power the lump of guy's down his throat, a feat which today would have taken him under 30 seconds.

Larry began snacking on more lemon cakes and whipped cream with one hand while he rubbed his massive wriggling gut with the other. He watched Geoff shove more and more of Kevin into his mouth. He just finished working his knees in, the last of his legs kicking wildly. With both hands, Geoff grasped his brother's legs and held them steady. He began guiding them into his mouth slowly, the free space in his mouth now all but gone, it being so utterly full. Before long, only Kevin's feet remained. Geoff grasped his brother's soles and with a hard shove, crammed the last of his brother into his mouth. He winced as he managed to close his mouth completely, before he looked up at his uncle and gave a goofy smile.

"Swallow bud. Yer gut's waitin." Larry said.

Geoff nodded and tilted his head back. He strenuously began to swallow, condensing his stuffed cheeks together until a massive bulge began to form in his throat. His head began to shake slightly as he worked the contents of him mouth into his tight throat, the strain being almost too much.

*GUUUUUUUUUUUUU-*

The massive squirming lump began to move down his chest, stretching his neck as the lump of food made its way down his esophagus. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his throat to help the last of his food on its final descent.

*-UULP*

With the blink of an eye, the bulge disappeared into Geoff's belly, making it swell out to almost double it's original bloated size. He moaned as he looked down at his accomplishment.

"Wow. Never though it'd -*BOORP*-be that easy." Geoff grumbled.

"With the size of him I'm surprised you or your dad didn't eat him sooner. If you didn't toss em back I would of." Larry smirked, patting his own struggling belly.

"Oof... He's putting up a fight." Geoff moaned as his belly began to stretch and shake aggressively now.

"A good belly rub always help with the wrigglers. C'mere and let your old uncle help you digest." Larry said, sitting up in his chair.

"oooh...Thanks Uncle Larry." Geoff groaned as he stood up and waddled his way over to his uncle, his bloated belly swinging ponderously with each step.

Larry put his hands on his nephews squirming belly. He could feel Kevin moving around in his older brother's gut among the few hundred pounds of food that was stuffed in there with him. He began kneading and massaging Geoff's gut, squishing down the protruding bulges that Kevin was making.

"That feels nice Uncle Larry." Geoff moaned, feeling some relief from his brother's struggles.

"He's quite the fighter. Here feel Wil." Larry took his nephew's hand and placed it on his own wriggling belly.

"Heh, he's barely moving." Geoff smirked as he felt around his Uncle's gut, pushing and kneading around, trying to feel his brother. Suddenly a large bulge stretched the large gut outwards, it's occupant still had some fight left.

"Oof." Larry winced. He patted his belly, trying to calm his nephew.

"I wish I could have eaten him. He looked so good covered in chocolate sauce." Geoff said, helping his Uncle massage his massive gut.

"Well lucky for you you'll get the chance." Larry said, grabbing his nephew by the waist and pulling him in close, squishing their guts together. Before Geoff could react, Larry leaned back in his chair, pulling his heavy nephew up onto his belly, his face inches from him. Larry opened his mouth wide and showed his nephew where he was going.

"WAIT DON'T MMMPH" Geoff shouted before his uncle shoved his head into his maw. Uncle Larry waisted no time and swallowed quickly, sending Geoff's head down his gullet while pulling his shoulders in.

Geoff screamed as he was squeezed into his Uncle's mouth. His powerful throat began tugging him downwards, eager to add more food to his demanding belly. He felt his Uncle grab his hips and pull him upwards, stuffing more of his large body inside. His uncle was relentless and quickly swallowed more of him, not even bothering to taste him like he did with Wil. He quickly felt himself move more and more down the slick throat, his younger brother's shouts becoming louder and louder with each gulp.

Larry heaved his nephew upwards, reared his head back and opened his mouth wider, letting Geoff sink into his gullet more. He groaned as his meal struggled in his throat, his fat neck stretching massively as his big nephew fought. His meal's chest slid over his tongue while Larry opened his mouth wider, getting ready for the massive struggling belly that was approaching his lips. He began squeezing and cramming the large hairy belly into his mouth, compressing its contents even further that they already were. Kevin was clearly not happy about being squeezed so tightly in his brother's belly, but Larry didn't seem to notice or care as his lips began sliding over the massive ball of a gut.

With several more hefty gulps, Geoff's large gut slid into his uncle's throat, stretching out his throat massively as his meal slid further and further downwards. With the aid of gravity and his relentless throat, Larry quickly worked his nephew's fat thighs into his gullet, quickly approaching the end to the great feast. His belly quickly expanded as the majority of his last nephew made his way inside. Soon Larry had his lips wrapped around Geoff's ankles, the twitching feet being the last part of his meal. He leaned back in his chair, it creaking under his immense weight, and put one hand behind his head. With the other hand, he reached up and put a finger on each of his meal's feet and slowly pushed them in. With a loud slurp, Geoff's toes slipped under his Uncle's moustache and disappeared into his mouth. Larry put his other hand behind his head and swallowed gently, letting his large meal slowly sink down his gullet.

Larry sat there, content, as his belly continued to grow while Geoff continued to make his way down. He closed his eyes as he concentrated on the struggles in his belly, feeling every kick and punch that his nephews could muster. Suddenly, he felt Geoff slip past his sternum and drop like a rock into his belly.

"Ooof. Boy you are heavy." Larry chuckled as he smacked his gut. "Now that was a meal!"

His belly continued to shake and shift, several bulges appearing all over before disappearing just as fast. He could feel his nephews kick and fight inside his belly, but he knew that nobody had ever gotten out once they slid past his lips. He sat there, eyes closed as he enjoyed the struggles for a while, pleased with himself for eating almost the entire feast.

"Oh almost forgot, the title match is on soon." He patted his belly as he sat up. His massive gut sat proudly between his legs, almost touching the floor. He slowly stood and stretched, his belly wobbling as his nephews were thrown around with the sudden movement. He grabbed his suspenders and pushed them off his arms, letting his pants fall to his ankles, leaving only his underwear on. He stepped out of his pants and made his way into the kitchen, the large belly barely fitting through the doorway. He could still feel the two struggling inside, but Larry paid it no mind. He reached the fridge and found a six pack of beer inside. With a smile, he grabbed it and a bag of chips off the nearby counter and made his way to the living room.

He eased himself down onto the couch and got himself comfortable. His gut sat between his legs and hung off the couch, resting on the floor. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. As the TV finished adjusting itself, the DWL came up again. There were two men in the ring, or at least one and wat was left of another. A large Hispanic man had his lips wrapped around the neck of a massive beaded old guy. His head slowly sank into his opponents' mouth, a look of pure terror on his face as he watched the world disappear when the Hispanic man closed his mouth and swallowed. The camera's got a good close up of bulge as is traveled down the sweaty chest and disappeared into the expanding belly.

"Looks like I'm just in time. The title match is a few events away." Larry said to his wriggling belly. "I'll let you know how the title turns out Wil!"

--

Geoff shouted as he dropped onto his younger brother. The two crashed together and stretched the confines of their prison as it sagged downwards before bouncing back into place. Wil attempted to sit up but his brother was laying on top of him.

"Get...off...mmmof me!" Wil struggled to say as his face was mashed into the various swallowed foods.

"Yeah sorry." Geoff pushed off of his brother and sat up. The two maneuvered until Geoff was on his back, with his younger brother curled up on his belly, the two so utterly compacted together in their uncle's belly.

"What do we do now?!!" Wil panicked, the loud grumbles and groans echoing all around them.

"Not a whole lot we can do." Geoff said. "There's still some food here though." He laughed as he grabbed a turkey from the pile of food and shoved it in his mouth.

"How can you eat at a time like? We're in Uncle Larry's belly!" Wil shouted.

"*Gulp* Well we can try fighting if you want. Kick and punch!" Geoff said as he gulped the turkey down.

The two began kicking and punching wildly. Fists went flying and legs stretched their confines as much as they could, but their Uncle's belly was used to large meals, even those that fought back. Before long they were out of breath and the air was beginning to get stale.

"Well. Maybe Dad can save us?" Wil said, defeated.

"Doubt it. If Dad finds Uncle Larry like this he's more likely to swallow him down than save us." Geoff said.

"Well maybe Kevin then?" Wil asked.

"He's not in any position to help either." Geoff chuckled, before grabbing another few slices of pizza from the mountain of food around them.

"What? Why not?" Wil asked. Before Geoff could answer, Wil felt his brother's belly wriggle wildly, several bulges quickly stretching the hairy gut.

"You didn't!" Wil shouted, trying to push his brother away.

"I did. And I think you should join him!" Geoff shouted before attempting to grab his brother.

The two fought hard, Wil trying to avoid his brother's grasp. It became more difficult as their Uncle began moving around, jostling their confines constantly. Before too long however, Geoff got a firm grip of his brother's feet and pulled them up to his maw.

"NONONONO STOP!" Wil screamed. Before he could move, Geoff shoved his feet into his mouth and slurped them up hard, the skinny legs quickly sliding into his mouth. With a quick gulp, Wil's hips were pulled into his brothers mouth and with a hefty shove, the large belly was squeezed into his mouth. Geoff moaned as he tasted over his brother, his delicious taste was absolutely hypnotizing, before he swallowed again, letting the large belly slide into his gullet.

"Please don't eat me..." Wil pleaded, utterly defeated, but his brother didn't listen, and instead swallowed hard, pulling his chest inside before the bearded lips wrapped around his neck. With one last heavy gulp, Geoff swallowed his brother whole. He moaned as he felt his belly stretch out even further while Wil made his way down. Before long, both of his brothers were squeezed into his swollen belly, struggling wildly for room, or maybe even to avoid being eaten by the other. He didn't care however, instead grabbing more food from around him and shoving it in his mouth.

--

"AND THERE HE GOES FOLKS! WITH ONE LAST GULP WE HAVE A WINNER!" The announcer cheered as the camera focused on a large black man whose head was leaned all the way back with a pair of feet slowly slipping down his esophagus. The match ended swiftly as the large man patted his gut and opened his mouth, revealing to the crowd it was empty.

Larry watched while munching on chips, his belly now wobbling like wild.

"Ooof! Easy in there boys." Larry smirked as he gave his gut a few pats.

"AND NOW FOR THE MAIN EVENT!" The announcer shouted, as the large man waddled out of the ring, his belly violently shaking. Cheers rang out as the camera panned to the locker room.

"I PRESENT THE CHALLENGER HISOKA ANDO!"

A large Japanese man appeared. He was a former sumo wrestler turned pro eater. He stood at 5'10" and looked like he was just barely over 350 pounds of just pure fat. His gut hung slightly over his mawashi, but he looked like he should be in the amateur league. He made his way down to the ring and stepped inside. The ring was similar to a sumo ring, but was significantly larger, letting the large Preds move about more easily.

"AND NOW FOR YOUR CHAMPION HENRY BAGROV!" The announcer screamed as the crowd went wild.

From the locker room a massive gorilla of a man appeared. He was of Russian descent, and was actually the cousin of Boris 'The Bottomless Belly' Bagrov, who held several eating records. Henry was close to 600 pounds of pure beefy fat. His solid round gut jutted out a few feet in front of him, tightly held in place by an impressive set of stomach muscles covered by a thick layer of fat. He towered over most at 6'7" and dominated the league as the champion for 6 years running.

Larry knew that Henry was Wil's favorite, and the two were going to watch the match tonight.

The two wrestlers entered the ring and stood on the line. They bowed to each other and the crowd got quiet. The two of them looked ridiculous next to each other, as Henry completely towered over Hisoka. The Ref blew the whistle and the two grappled at each other. Surprisingly, Hisoka managed to keep his ground and push back against the massive man. Henry leaned down next to Hisoka's ear.

"You're gonna feel real good going down my gullet." The large Russian sneered.

The big guy opened his mouth, showing his opponent and the crowd his maw and the entrance to his gullet. However, the Russian did not expect his opponent to grab the back of his head. In a panicked move, he attempted to push Hisoka off of him, but ended up doing exactly what his opponent wanted. In an amazing display, Hisoka shoved Henry's head into his maw, muffling the gigantic man's screams as Hisoka brought him to his knees.

"Hah. Stupid cocky bastard." Larry laughed, slurping on more of his beer.

The smaller man quickly shoved his opponent's shoulders in and started working his mouth down over Henry's flabby chest. The crowd was cheering fanatically as the announcers were besides themselves watching the tiny Japanese man easily gulp down the 600-pound beast. Eventually, Hisoka got to the top of Henry's gut, Henry's arms pinned at his sides. He quickly and methodically began gulping at the man's gigantic belly, stretching his throat out massively as the large gut slowly slid down into it. In under 10 seconds, the belly was gone, leaving just Henry's waist and legs. Carefully, Hisoka leaned backwards, picking up the rest of his meal as he began cramming Henry's large ass into his mouth. Before he slid his opponent's ass in completely, he tore off Henry's mawashi and draped it over the back of his neck. The crowd cheered as Hisoka grabbed both large ass cheeks of his opponent and groped it a few times, giving it a few jiggly shakes. The act was considered respectful as saving the mawashi is considered a high honor for the devoured opponent and in Japanese eating, the ass grabbing means that he is a great meal.

Hisoka was slowly cramming Henry's fat legs into his maw, careful not to lose his balance as he worked his way towards victory. Gulp after gulp, Hisoka worked more of the fat legs into his maw until just the man's large feet were left. Putting a hand on each foot, he crammed them into his maw and gulped hard, making the crowd explode with excitement as the last of the former champ slowly bulged out Hisoka's throat as it made its way down his chest and into his gut.

The ref came out and held the Japanese man's arm up, declaring Hisoka the winner by ingestion. The crowd cheered as Hisoka patted his completely still 4-foot belly, that was somehow containing a 600-pound man. Hisoka turned to his opponents empty starting spot and bowed, showing respect before he turned and walked out of the ring towards the locker room, his large gut wobbling with each step.

"Well Wil, guess your idol ended up just like you did." Larry chuckled as he gave his belly a few rubs, the struggling having pretty much stopped now, with only some slight movements here and there.

"I wonder where your dad is. I was hoping to have the whole feast to myself." Larry smirked as he shut the TV off. "Oh well. Time for bed I think. Got a lot of digestin to do."

Larry heaved himself off the couch and slowly stood up, his gut bouncing with the sudden movement. He made his way to his brother's room where he knew Kent had a reinforced bed, perfect for him and his gut. He eased himself onto the bed and lay down, his massive belly jutting a good 6 feet upwards. Larry smiled as he rubbed the parts of his belly he could reach. His gut was solid as a rock, absolutely stuffed with hundreds of pounds of food and his 3 nephews. He loved it when his belly was gigantic but knew that it was only temporary.

"Ok boys, time to let my gut do it's thing. I can't wait to see how big you guys make my belly after I digest you." He said patting his gut proudly. "Goodnight guys. Enjoy being belly fat."

*UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*

Larry let out a belch that rattled the windows, lasting for a good 20 seconds. His belly slowly shrunk about a foot, bearing down on his food, removing every last bit of extra space. His belly let out a low grumble, revving itself up for the immense task of digesting over half a ton of food.

With a smile on his face, Larry closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

-

15 hours later, Larry woke up to a loud grumble. He slowly opened his eyes to the bright room. He stretched and groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked down at his belly. It was still quite large, about a foot bigger than it normally was. Larry didn't think his gut had finished digesting yet.

"Guess I'm gettin old. Don't digest as fast as I used to." Larry grumbled.

*GUUUUUUUUUUURGLE*

A loud groan emitted from Larry's gut just then. Larry was hungry. He gave his gut a slap and realized it was empty, the extra size now a permanent part of his belly.

"Holy shit. You guys made me huge!" Larry gasped as he sat up. He went over to the mirror and observed his new belly, now jutting a good 3 feet from his chest in a nice spherical shape. Another loud gurgle reminded him that he still had to deal with what was left of his nephews. After a long trip to the bathroom, he made his way to the spare room where his dufflebag was and got some new clothes. He grabbed a shirt and put it on, before realising it was too small. Way too small. The shirt could even make it halfway down his gut.

"This shirt fit perfectly few days ago." Larry chuckled.

*Ding Dong*

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Larry went to the front door and opened it. Standing on the porch was a skinny guy in his 30s, wearing a bright red shirt and cargo shorts.

"Yeah?" Larry said, scratching his gut.

"Hello Sir. Would you like to don-*GUURGLE*" The guy stopped mid sentence as he was interrupted by an incredibly loud hungry grumble coming from Larry's gut.

They both looked down at his gut for a moment, before looking back at each other. With a grin on his face, Larry grabbed the guy by his shirt and dragged his up to his mouth. Before the guy could make a noise, Larry engulfed his head and quickly swallowed him up to his chest. The guy struggled hard, kicking and shouting, but Larry held him steady as he dragged him inside the house and closed the door. He swallowed again, easily pulling the man's torso and waist into his mouth, the skinny man sliding all too quick down the Pred's throat.

Larry quickly reared his head back and brought the kicking legs above himself, letting gravity assist. He felt the man effortlessly slide down his throat, thrashing wildly the whole way. With a few more gulps, the man's shoes slid past Larry's lips and down his gullet, joining their owner in his gut.

"*URRRP* Ahh. A nice quick breakfast." Larry smiled and patted his belly, feeling the struggles quickly fade away before realising his belly hadn't grown an inch to accommodate his small meal.

"Damn boys. You made me so fat you cant even tell he's in there. The guys have gotta see this." Larry chucked as strode back to the spare room, the man inside sloshing back and forth with each step. The 'guys' he was referring to are a group of locals who enjoy eating like he did. They share a chatroom that they often post pictures of their conquests, usually their full wriggling bellies. Larry sat in a chair and took a photo with his phone.

He then uploaded it to the chatroom with the caption "Swallowed my three nephews last night along with a few hundred pounds of food. They made my gut so fat that you probably can't tell that I'm digesting a guy right now. Their father won't be too happy when he finds out."

Several responses came up after a few minutes, mostly cheering for him and congratulating him on the serious growth. After a few more minutes, he received a personal message from his friend Ralph.

"Hey bud. Nice gut! Got word that there's another huge meetup on the Meriwake Trail just outside of town this afternoon. I went to the last one and there were over 10 different orgies along the trail. I left with six guys in my gut but Pierre managed to devour an entire group all by himself. Course having 15 guys in his gut didn't stop Winston from tossing him back an hour later. If you're still hungry, there's gonna be a lot of tasty guys for us to eat. Plenty for us to share."

Larry chuckled as his belly grumbled loudly again.

"Always hungry. I'll see you there." Larry replied. Larry threw on a pair of shorts, gathered his clothes and shoved them in his duffel bag. He made his way out the door and to his truck. After he got in, he adjusted his seat to make room for his larger belly.

"Glad I got this baby modified." Larry thought as he started his truck.

The engine roared to life as he backed out of the driveway and onto the road, on his way to the many guys he would fuck and devour before the end of the day.

-----------------

Sounds like Larry's brother Kent never made it home last night. Wonder what happened at the police station with all those bikers...

As for Larry, he's off to the backwoods for an afternoon of dicking, devouring, and digesting.

[floweryanarchy]

Probably random af:

Since the camp in RDR2 had Pearson and his bear stew, what is something the bg3 crew cooks in the wild west? Do they have favourite meals or guilty pleasures? (I bet Gale is a porridge guy and Tara tries to nom it away from him)

I’d imagine Gale and Lae’zel have a deal worked out that she would hunt down the meat for their meals and Gale cooks what she brings back. So it’s usually something hearty with lots of protein like Beef Stew, Lambs fry, prairie chicken and lots and lots of fish. So there’s no shortage of meals at their camp (very good news for Astarion even tho his stomach has to adjust to eating regularly.)

I can see Gale being a porridge guy for smaller meals such as breakfast and Tara is always lingering trying to get a bite.

Guilty pleasures that come to mind is Astarion having a sweet tooth because he was deprived of having any sort of sweets so having canned peaches for the first time was a gateway to that. Karlach is always gnawing on beef jerky on their travels, some of it is way too dry but she doesn’t give a damn. Lae’zel likes lamb hearts, and insists Gale cook them for her (no way he’s gonna tell her no.) Shadowheart prefers sea food like cod and salmon. Wyll will gratefully eat anything that’s offered to him and helps Gale prepare the meat for their meals like a good boi that he is.

[illubean]

a reader who is like kenny from south park? with the main two or four :33

also off topic but i think we used to be able to do an requests? now we cant did you like turn it off??/genq because i dont know how this ask box really works sorry!

have a good day or night

Gon and Killua with Kenny!Reader

Characters: Gon Freecs, Killua Zoldyck Type: Crack?, Headcanons, Gn!reader

omg turning off anon rqs was a total accident im so sorry you guys 😭 and by main 2 im assuming you mean for hxh

Warnings: none

Gon Freecs

you put this poor boy under so much stress with your bad luck 😭😭😭

your constant dying is so traumatizing to him, especially since no one remembers your previous deaths so it's like the first time every time

i think Gon would have good hearing considering he fishes and hunts and stuff so he has no issue understanding you

"mfnfffnnnhhnfnffnm" "they said they want chicken wings"

as far as you being poor he can kind of relate to you because he wasn't exactly the richest person back on Whale Island

but geez he didn't think it could ever get THAT bad

he offers to help you any way he can, often inviting you to have dinner with him and the others/Aunt Mito

Killua Zoldyck

No matter how hard he tries he literally can never understand what you're saying, even when everyone else seems to

"hrrmgngfffnrrnnffmf" "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING"

every time you die he's so confused

like how does it even happen why are you always dying in ridiculous ways

his reaction to you being poor is probably like "haha L"

and if you have bad parents he can sympathize bc his family isn't great either

but also it's normalized to him so he's not much help

he probably asks you stupid questions

"you're poor? What the hell do you do for fun?" "If you're poor why do your parents keep having kids?"

you can't even answer that last one, it makes no sense to you either

[echantedtoon]

Mermay Day 2 Betta Fish

(Akaza is a Betta Fish by the artist linked below.

www.tumblr.com/yuki2sksksk/729990049783021568/lionfish-based-merman-kyojuro-and-betta-fish-based?source=share 

Warnings: Threats. Akaza  fights a few people that might not end well. )

You liked living alone.

No one to order you around. No one to say what you shouldn't and should do. No one scrutinizing yourself. It was a good life. Just you, nature, and the few farm animals you kept for company. It was a good life. Your parents were a bit concerned about you wanting to buy a house and  live alone but considering your circumstances they agreed and purchased a home from an old farmer as a new year's present a few years back. It wasn't too big. Just two rooms including the bathroom and just a small space in the back for a few animals. Just it was perfect in your eyes. And it was just outside of town. Close enough to visit whenever you wanted but far enough to give you complete privacy in the woods. Which was EXACTLY what you wanted.

Unfortunately your life wasn't meant very easy.

From the moment you were born it seemed your life was going to be a problem for you. Mostly because it was almost like you had a spell casted over you to just have the worst of luck with men. Oh no. They weren't repulsed by you. Quite the opposite actually.

THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE!!

Your parents must've had at least two hundred offers from other parents to arrange a marriage between you and their sons.  Thank the gods above they were amazing and kind and always asked if you wanted any of the marriages. You refused so they refused. And you would still be bombarded with offers of other parents to boys just attempting to court you any chance they could get. It was one of the reasons why you chose to live all the way out here instead of in town where you'd just be bothered. Although men still occasionally showed up here. And sometimes an older man or woman would trying to talk you into marrying their sons. You always refused and made them leave no matter how polite, persistent, or rude they are. And boy. You've gotten a few rude guests you had to kick to the Kirb. But you also had the ones who couldn't take a hint like the one months ago. Stupid guy. He even tried to use that stupid tradition to get you to marry him.

For thousands of years, people married off their daughters and ladies desperately scrambled to find a husband obsessively in fear of a monster dragging them away from as the blood moon came every hundred years. WHICH WAS STUPID!! You've lived your ENTIRE LIFE playing in the woods and walking around and now living in the woods and not even ONCE did you ever see any ghoul, goblin, troll, fairy, ghost, or any other inhuman creature. They only existed in stories and the imagination of children. You hated that so many people were legitimately terrified of this. And you especially hated that someone tried to use that against you!  You wouldn't be scared into a loveless marriage that wouldn't be fair to yourself. Or the man to be honest. 

With a sigh you woke up that morning and did yours chores which wasn't a lot. Feeding the few animals you had and cleaning your house. Neither of which took very long because of how small your home was and then you started on the laundry. Again it wasn't much and you were just scrubbing a blanket in your home when there was a noise outside that made up you jump and whirl your head towards the back of your house. Your cow was mooing and thrashing about by the side of your house.

THUD. THUD. THUD.

You heard her knock and the kick the side of the house a few times making you drop the cloth and stand up as even MORE noises came from your backyard. Your chickens were going absolutely NUTS!! Clucking and calling a out making you run to the back door and throwing it open-

"AH!!"

Your arms threw up over your face and closing your eyes as a flurry of your hens jumped up and flew a out you in a panic. 

CRASH!! THUD!! RUSTLE!!

Your cow mooed louder and ran past you towards the well on the side of your house as a giant black blue went diving into a bush right by your hen house causing feathers to fly and more chickens to rum about in panic blocking your view of...of...Well  whatever it was. You blinked just seeing the bushes move and hearing whatever it was crashing through the woods away from you as quick as the wind. Leaving you standing there blinking with a few panicked chickens and your cow irritated and half hiding behind the well....

What in all the heavens just happened?!

The chickens were still running around as the last few crashing sounds made their way into the woods before it was silent all around. You stood there and just...blinked. What was that?! A bear? No, no. A bear was too big and bulky and couldn't run off THAT fast?! You looked around noticing that...no chickens were missing. All fifteen of your hens and one rooster was still around. Oh... Whatever it was you must've scared it off before it could make off with one of them. But what was it? Couldn't have been a fox. It was too big and it wasn't a red color...

"A wolf," you mumbled having finally deduced what it was before scowling. "It must've been a wolf!! A wolf was after my chickens!!" 

Scowling you marched on over to the bush where it disappeared through making your chickens scramble from your legs. Grabbing the bush branches, you pushed the thing apart roughly but saw... Nothing. The back of your hill sloped down a hill to where a lot of wild berry bushes and a few fruit trees were ending in a stream that came up to your shoulders almost with how deep it was. Another reason you chose to live here. Free food! You scowled looking around more but there was no signs of any creatures. No wolf either. Curses! It must've ran off before you could see it... You'd buy a trap in town. You were going to head there after you finished laundry anyways. Letting the bush go back the way it was before you angrily turned and stomped off back to the house.

"I'll be damned before I let a wolf make off with my animals. I'll put them all in the barn before I go but first I'm going to get the laundry done."

Unbeknownst to you, eyes opened up from the shadows and followed your form back to your home. You stopped in the doorway pausing... before turning around to fully face the backyard and the eyes widened.

Y O U  W E R E  T H E  M O S T  B E A U T I F U L  W O M A N  T H E   E Y E S' S  E V E R  S E E N.

A shiver went down your spine as you narrowed your eyes looking around.. before going back inside and continuing inside before closing the door behind you. Yeah. You'd finish up before you left for town and buy the BIGGEST trap they had. 

The eyes way he'd awestruck at the beautiful figure walking into the house and closing the door. A chicken wondered close to a different bush unknowing. A hand reached out. The chicken only gave out a muffled squeak before it was yanked into the woods never to be seen again.

You  finished hanging up the laundry inside and went back out to heard all your chickens back into the henhouse and locked up your still spooked cow safely in the small barn before you left for the town. You thought you heard a twig snapping in the woods behind you before you left down the road towards town but you were sure it was just the wind. You weren't as paranoid as the others in your town.  So you started down the forest path back to the nearest town. It was an hour's walk there and an hour walk back. A bit of a way to walk but you'd like to think it helped to discourage others from seeking you out most of the time. You started down the road..but kept looking over your shoulder thinking you heard someone...but nothing was ever there. You got the feeling something was watching you from your home and the feeling didn't go away until you couldn't see your house anymore. Then you felt more at ease. Probably was the wolf, or your paranoia that was thrown a bit since you weren't expecting it. However unbeknownst to you it was something much, much more supernatural than that.

The rest of the trip passed by without incident or without that sixth sense of something watching you. An hour later you arrived at the town. It looked as busy and crowded as you remembered and it was then you realized something. You might as well probably get your shopping done  since you were here. You'd be needing some more supplies. So off you went to the first spot which was a candle store, then a library, and a few more places. While at a certain book store however you again felt eyes on you, and this time you turned and found the source of them this time. Four men working on building the side of a new house were staring at you as you skimmed over some books near the doorway. Upon realizing that you saw them, two of them looked embarrassed and sent back to work quickly, one man smirked and winked at you, and another one politely smiled and waved. You frowned before quickly retreating into the store further.

Why did this happen EVERY TIME you went into town?!

You just wanted to get you some supplies and be on your way. On the way back through you stopped by the blacksmith. He sold hunters they needed from bows and arrows to knives to bear traps. You walked right in gaining a few looks from a few men in there looking over the knives and two of which were asking who was presumably the owner which one would be the best for deboning large fish. Amongst the swords and horse shoes, and other items you found the traps. Big ones. Obviously those were for hunting BIG game like bears. But there was others of a more reasonable si-You froze as someone leaned on the wall next to you. Arm above and out. A face smiling down at your head. You turned to see one of the hunters smiling down at you.

"Hello, Wood Dweller "

NOPE!!

You didn't even give him a chance to speak. You turned on your heels and RAN like the wolf itself was chasing you. NOPE NOPE NOPE!! NOT DEALING WITH THAT TODAY!! Besides you saw the prices written above the traps. Too expensive and you didn't have enough money. You'd have to use the old rope tied to the tree trick. Running down the street with basket in hand, you just happened to look up and noticed that the sun was setting. If you didn't want to walk alone in the dark, you'd better head home now. So that's exactly what you did. You veered quickly through the streets as people headed home quickly fearing the dark and so called 'monsters' that lurked in the dark. You didn't fear any fake monsters. You were more afraid of that wolf! But you needed to get back before your animals could be in danger again. So leaving the town behind you veered off the street and down the path leading you back home.

The light was quickly disappearing and you ran faster and faster down the road.  Shadows danced across the pathway before you as you went down the pathway. Trees blew creepily and creaked as if their branches were trying to reach out and grab you. To take you captive. It made a shiver run down your spine. You didn't reach your house until the last rays of light left the sky and plunged the world into total darkness. The moon high in the sky and crescent shaped like a sadistic grin. You ran right up to the front door, pulling it open but stopped and looked around you real quick. You saw nothing but the creaking wind and trees. You shivered again before you stepped inside and closed the door. Finally. You were safely home. With a sigh you leaned against the door for a long moment before reaching out to flip the lock. With the door safely locked you pushed yourself off the door smiling and carrying the large basket over to place it gently by your-....Wait a second. Blinking you turned to window and blinked. Your window's shutters were... Open? 

YOU DIDN'T LEAVE THOSE OPEN!!

You always closed your shutters before you left anywhere. Why were they open now? Especially when you KNEW you closed them before you left!! Stunned silence filled the dark house as you stared at it silently. Before slowly approaching it and looking out the window into the backyard. The moonlight hit everything in the yard. You saw nothing on the other side. Your brows furrowed. This was... strange. You remembered locking it shut before you left but you must've not locked it properly in your haste to get the trap. Which meant you had to go outside to close it again. ...your form slowly approached the back door and you grabbed a hold of the sliding door at the same time something was walking through the forest. Neither of you two noticed each other. However when you silently opened the door you froze when you heard it. The sounds of something coming from the other sides of the Bushes.

The SAME bushes the wolf disappeared into. But they sounded a bit farther away from the henhouse! That stupid wolf was back!!.. Your eyes flickered to the pitchfork by the he house. If you scared it away by threatening it then it would be unlikely to come back again. It worked once when a fox wouldn't stop trying to bother your hens. It should be work on a wolf too. And if comes down to a fight, you'd have a nice fur to sell in town tomorrow. Slowly you stepped out of the house and back towards the bush. Your bare feet touching the ground gently and quietly enough to not make yourself known. 

Step after step after step.

Quietly you stepped closer as and closer and CLOSER to the bush silently. Slowly behind the henhouse you went and stopped right in front of the bush. The wind blew swaying it's branches creepily and looked like thrashing arms. You grabbed a handful and silently and slowly pulled them back.

And you froze at what you saw-

The winds howled as the darkness crept across the skies. The darkness behind the bush shielded your form from the moonlight which cascaded down between the trees and clouds in the sky. The shadows danced and branches creaked as the wind blew them about. Like arms beckoning you closer to grab you away in their rough grip. Drag you into the shadows never to be seen again. You cracked an opening in the branches and looked out. The darkened sky looked out over the entire area. Tree branches swayed and night fell upon the ground. However you froze as your eyes met a pair of yellow irises staring directly back at you from the darkness.

A shadow ran from the bushes with a second.

You jumped in shock from the footsteps quickly departing from the bush and down into the fruit grove. "H-HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! COME BACK HERE!!" 

Your arms shoved the branches apart farther just in time for a man shaped shadow figure to go diving head first into the stream behind your house. A loud splash noise followed right after and you say there stunned....Did..Did you seriously just see that?! Did you seriously just see someone dive into the water?! Branches snapped and protested as you shoved them aside and pushed your way through the bush and started your way down the grove and stopped just where the bank of the stream met the water and looked out.

Nothing.

The calm river flowed along peacefully on the warm night without any problems in the world. You stared around the entire place but found nothing. It was like the...man? Whoever it was just disappeared into thin air. You stood there for a few minutes to see if anyone might've been hiding under the water..but no one showed. What just happened?! Who was that?! WHAT was that?! It certainly wasn't a wolf. Or a fox. Or any other animal you knew. A shiver ran down your spine. This was too weird. You needed to get back inside.

A form broke in the water's surface. A head of pink hair and yellow eyes bobbed up and down in the rippling water. Watching as the beauty picked up her kimono and tailed it back towards the house giving one last glimpse back allowing him to see her radiant face again. She was...so beautiful. He'd been carefully observing her for nearly three months now. She was wonderful. Her attitude. Her smile. The way she carried herself. He hadn't seen anyone since his beloved Koyuki years ago..But now...He felt something. Something WARM. 

It was time he made a move

You returned to your house and quickly slammed the shutters closed and locked both doors tightly. The thoughts of what that thing was swirling through your head over and over again...Until you came to the conclusion that you were seeing things due to it being dark and your neves being on end. With that solution out of the way it was easier for you to fall asleep. You'd sleep in tomorrow and forget about it. However that was three months ago now and now there you laid.  Deep in slumber for hours.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!

Until you heard a loud knocking on your door.

Your head groggily sat your head up from your pillow blinking. Wild bed head framing your face and bunching up in knots...What? More loud knocks attracted your attention towards the front door and you slowly blinked again as your brain caught up with your tired brain. Someone was at your door. You groaned faceplanting into your pillow. Who could that be THIS time? It better not be that glasses wearing arse again! More knocks rang out and you glared at the door. 

"Alright, alright! I'm coming! " With reluctance you kicked off your blanket and pushed yourself up to slowly stand up. With a stretched you yawned before reaching a hand up to rub your face. "Good gods. What a way to start a day?" More knocking drew your annoyance to the door. "I SAID I was coming!" You snapped.

This entire week had been stressful. First that wolf, then one of your chickens went missing, and now it looked like you'd be bothered again. You attempted to fix your hair as you went over to the door, unlocked it, and opened it up with a deep frown. Only to pause seeing whom it was on the other side. A man stood there about your age. He stood just a foot and a half taller, with black hair, fluffy white lashes, and yellow eyes. But what was the most unusual thing was the strange lines of tattoos across his neck. You both just stared at each other until he spoke.

"Miss Y/n Tamayo?", he asked politely making you jump a little.

"I-...Yes? Who are you?," you asked eyes narrowed at him.

 "My name is Akaza Hakuji Soyama." He then bowed deeply at the waist before leaning back up and holding up a handful of purple flowers that looked quickly grabbed. As if he had just wretched them up from the ground before you answered the door. "These are for you. They're not nearly as beautiful as your eyes however. I hope I haven't come at a bad time."

You just... blinked looking at him then to the flowers. Before slowly taking them from him. "I-...Thank you. They're very pretty." You then looked at him raising a brow. "May I ask why you're here? If you wish to purchase some fruit, you'll have to wait until I harvest them."

"I'm not here for any of your property I assure you. I came to start my engagement with you." He said it so straight forward and bluntly that it had you blanking a bit.

You. Slowly. Blinked. "I'm..sorry. What?"

"I wish to start my engagement with you." Your jaw dropped at the blunt statement. He held up a hand. "I have already seemed out your parents blessing. They informed me that if you allow me to court you then I'll have their blessings. That is why I'm here. Miss Y/n. I think you're very beautiful and smart. I've seen you many times before and I have come before you." With a thud he lowered himself to his knees and bowed again. "Please allow me to prove my worth to you as a husband."

Your jaw dropped. Your eyes budged. And your body froze just staring at the man. HE WANTED TO WHAT?! COURT YOU!? HIM?! Your jaw tried to make noise but all it had done was make you look like a fish. He continued to kneel there bowed to you unmoving. Who WAS this guy? You practically knew almost everyone in your small town but you'd never seen him before. Why you? Why now? You were no stranger to courters and suitors but...This was rather blunt and out of the blue.

''I-I....I don't-..." You shook your head pulling yourself together enough to look at him properly. "W-Well. That was very forward of you. I've never had someone so...blunt. But I should let you know that you might not be interested in someone like me really."

"I've already considered those factors," he said still not looking up.

"Well...You know I'm very reclusive and I like keeping to myself."

"I'll be sure to respect your privacy, boundaries, and space."

You blinked surprised. "I-...I'm VERY unladylike! I-Im very stubborn! And I say what I like! And I work hard and get dirty all the time!"

"I admire a lady's strength whether it's physical or emotional strength. I've also seen your personality and I deduced that I find that I like it."

You blanked for a moment flabbergasted about it before scowling. Ok. Here's the big one that ALWAYS guaranteed to drive them away. "I worked hard on my own property. Im not willing to share anything with a husband! Not. A. Thing. I don't even think I would want children that's how much I don't want to share!" You smiled. Surely hearing he wouldn't automatically get your property and you refused to bare any children would make him lose inter-

"That's perfectly fine." WOT- "I wouldn't dream of taking anything from you. That would be selfish of me. I wouldn't ever force you to do anything you didn't want either. I understand not every woman would want to be a mother. I'm content with just the two of us."

Silence.

You continued to stare at him mouth open agape as he still remained bowing to you.. before giving a sigh. "You're really making me feel bad for telling you a straight no. I've already told others that I'm not interested."

"I'm only asking for a chance. Let me prove to you that I'm capable as a husband. I'm strong, capable, and I promise to be good to you. All I ask is a single chance."

You hesitated. This guy was serious about it wasn't he? And your usual methods weren't driving him away. But...did you really want this? You DIDN'T LIKE pushy men courting you but maybe you could drive him away by just being yourself? With a small sigh you slumped your shoulders.

"Mr. Akaza. While I'm..flattered that you'd find me attractive enough to want to marry, we haven't even been on a date yet. I don't know you. We're literal strangers. If Im going to marry someone then I would at least like to know them first." You gestured to him trying to let him down as Nicely as possible. "And you haven't even asked me that, and..Well..."

"Rejecting another today?"

You jumped and both turned your heads to find another man standing there. A pretty familiar man actually. He stood there with a pair of glasses slapped over his face and an annoyed look to him. You both stared at him for a moment before he huffed again.

"I figured as much."

You blinked at him before glaring. "Oh. It's you again. What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since I washed you out last year."

He scowled harder. "Believe me if it were up to me I wouldn't be back here but my mother wanted to purchase some apples and you're the only one within walking distance who sells them."

You huffed. "Alright. I can do that since she's a nice lady but don't think this changes anything."

"My offer still stands but I shouldn't even make that offer since Id rather not have that awful personality passed down to my childr-"

"Shut your dam mouth."

The man with the glasses turned his head as Mr. Akaza slowly stood back up finally and turned to him eyes narrowed. "I beg pardon?"

"I said-" Akaza leaned forward enough to nearly touch Mr. Glasses's face. "Keep. Your. Dam. Mouth. Shut. Before I close it for you. Or are you stupid on top of being ignorant and rude?" You both stared at him stunned before you noticed that a very thick looking fist balled up at Akaza's side as if he was about ready to actually punch him anyways.

Mr. Glasses only huffed. "You're obviously new here. If you hadn't heard, Ms. Y/n has a streak of rejection towards suiters. She's a rather disobedient unladylike woman-"

It all happened so fast. One moment Mr. Glasses was standing there and then the next he was dangling in the air by the front of his kimono as Akaza gripped it in a tight fist. A few veins flared up in rage as he did so effortlessly. You stood there shocked at the sight before being able to speak.

"W-What are you doing?! Put him down!"

"Apologize." The man in his grip was lowered only slightly for Akaza to glare his flared eyes into his soul. "Or I'll be forced to break your jaw so you may never insult another woman in my presence again."

"MR. AKAZA!!" You grabbed his arm dropping the flowers and pulled..but found that he didn't budge an inch. It might've been like moving a mountain! "Don't hurt him! He's not worth it!"

"I will. Once he apologizes." His grip tightened up more. "Then maybe I'll show him mercy-"

"IF YOU DON'T PUT HIM DOWN I'LL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL!!"

Akaza froze. Akaza's head snapped to you wide eyed. You stared back firmly with a scowl. After a few seconds he sighed through his nose. And Mr. Glasses was slowly lowered until he was placed down on his feet with a terrified look on his face. 

"Alright. I'll do as you ask but only because of my respect for you, Y/n." 

You sighed in relief and slowly let go but gave him a look. "Thank you. I don't know what had gotten into you but don't hurt him on my behalf."

"Of course. I apologize for acting so boarish. It won't happen again I assure you."

"Uh huh..." You slowly looked back to Mr. Glasses McRude who now trembled in the other's presence. "I hope you're not too hurt. Wait here and I'll get you some apples for your mother no charge. YOU." You snapped a glare at Akaza. "Leave him alone. I don't want you hurting him while I'm gone!"

"You have my word that I won't raise another hand to him again. "

You narrowed your eyes at him before you turned to walk back into your house. "Alright. Wait here both of you. I'll be right back."

Your form had just disappeared when Akaza yanked the other man closer to him by the front with the hand that still held him before giving a cold stare deep into his eyes with a frown. "Listen closely and listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once. You. STAY. AWAY. From my fiance. It took me too long to get this far and I'm not going back. If you do much as even THINK badly of her again then I'll keep my promise of making you eat your own teeth. Got it?" The man only gulped as a reply. "Good."

You returned a little while after with a small basket of apples and the man just silently took it from you before turning on his heels and fleeing the scene. He looked pale and shook to the core which made you give a look at Akaza whom only smiled at you happily. Your brows rose suspiciously.

"Aren't you going to leave too?"

He blinked confused at you. "What?"

You gestured to where the other man fled. "Aren't you going to leave too, Mr. Akaza? I figured your business with me would be finished by now." Didn't he get the hint you were trying to reject him?

But he looked even more confused. "No. I thought we had more business to discuss all things considering. Such as the wedding and the best time for one of us to move in with the other."

A glass shattering sound went off in your mind. "Say WHAT?!"

"Our wedding. We are engaged and it's natural that I'd want to be married after so many years of being apart."

"Are you insane!?" He blinked at your sudden blunt tone. "I never agreed to anyone's engagement! I don't even know you!"

He blinked. And blinked again. Before looking you up and down. Before again blinking. "Wait...You mean you...Do not remember me?" He placed a hand on his chest. "It's me." You still stared. "We met years ago as teenagers by a different river. I asked you to marry me and you agreed."

"Are you talking about the river by town that connects to the streams around here?" He happily nodded. "Tons of people go there all the time to fish or do laundry or..Or whatever. I can't remember if I'd ever met you and that was years ago! But I certainly don't remember ever saying yes to any engagements either!"

Akaza.. slowly blinked. "You... don't remember me? How can you not remember what we spoke to each other with?"

"How can you claim that I agreed to marry you!?"

"How can you claim that you didn't agree it you don't remember?"

You opened your mouth...but closed it before thinking. That..was a valid point. If you didn't remember him then what's stopping him from being right about you agreeing to marry him more than five years ago? Maybe you did agree to it. Or more likely teenage you accidentally gave him the impression that you agreed to it. 

YEAH!

That must've been the real reason you didn't remember agreeing to anything. You must've rejected him but he accidentally mistook it somehow for you agreeing to it, and with another rejection on the pile of others you just simply forgotten all about the interaction. Either that or Mr. Akaza here was lying to get you to marry him and was a very good actor. Either scenario was possible and would explain why you didn't remember him at all. Either way you still didn't agree with this. Not really.

"Alright. Let's say that I did agree, not that I am or did but just hypothetically. How come it took you this long to seek me out?"

"I have no excuses for not finding you sooner and I apologize for that deeply," he apologized with a small bow of his head, "But at the time I was dealing with many family deaths and...'unfinished business' with a few huma-...Men." He quickly corrected himself. "It also took me a while to get back to this area and start searching for you. I didn't know where to start, I didn't know where you were, and I only knew your first name. I was only able to find you three months ago when I caught a glimpse of you. I knew your beautiful face. It's not easy to forget."

"Why did it take you another three months then if you found me again?" You asked eyebrows raised. 

"I needed time to prepare courting gifts for you and I wanted to ask for your parents' blessings first."

"You asked my parents for their permission? Or to set up an engagement?"

"Neither. I asked for their blessings because I know that means a lot to families. However only you could decide to accept me or not so I didn't need to ask them but I did because I respect you greatly."

You stood there stunned not knowing what to say for a moment before blinking at him. He... really went all out and he's been looking for you for a little more than five years. You felt a bit bad for about to reject him when he seemed so ready and excited to marry you. But..You both were still strangers. 

"Alright. What did you tell me when I allegedly agreed to this?"

"That I would come for you and marry you before the blood moon happened. And I intend to do that before it comes."

You paused. "You mean that event that only happens every hundred years? That's two days from now."

"Yes. A lot of young women are already being thrown into marriages, and I've seen many people already starting to board up their windows and stocking up on supplies in town when I attempted to get your parents blessings. I feel very sorry for all the young women forced into quick marriages. I'm very glad you decided not to break off our engagement while I was away!" He smiled again wide, warm, and brightly. "I promise you I'll make you very happy for the rest of our lives together." 

You opened your mouth but shut up as he leaned forward to place a kiss to your forehead which was soft and warm. It made you pause as he smiled wider and leaned back to bow.

"I'll be back in two days time to marry you. I have to get a few things as well as settle a few matters and then we can hold the ceremony. Please don't fret about anything."

With one last smile he turned and began to walk away. You stood there stunned before a shot of red blasted through your face and you shook your head. Shouting a 'hey' you looked at him, only to pause seeing he was... Walking around the side of your house? What? Why was he heading towards your backyard? Quickly you made for your backdoor and threw it open. Just in time to see the bush by your henhouse moving slightly as if someone just walked through it. Akaza was fast! But...Why the heck was he heading towards your fruit grove?

"Hey! You can't just go back there!," you called out quickly following and pushing your way through the bush after him. On the other side you saw Akaza walking up to the stream behind your house. What was he doing? "Akaza! You can't just trespass on my property!"

He didn't even look back to you as you got closer. Instead he raised his arms up and without warning dove headfirst into the water. You skidded to a stop as a giant splash sounded off and your arms were thrown up as you were sprayed by droplets. After a few seconds you blinked before looking at the rippling water stunned. And there you stared longer as a bunch of bubbles bubbled up to the surface between the ripples... WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Did Akaza just dive into your stream?! What the heck was he thinking?! Could he even swim?! You were debating whether or not to dive in after him when something just popped out of the water with another splash making you shriek in shock before you blinked...and froze at what you saw.

A pair of yellow irises and veiny blue sclera with fluffy pink lashes smiled up at you with a warm grin. A strange pattern of stripes covered his face and neck and what other part of his body that your wife eyed were able to see. Pale greyish-white like skin and a pretty pink head of hair. You stared there stunned, slack jawed, and wide eyed as he softly chuckled at your expression. 

"I think I might stand out in your mind now," he spoke with a smile, "I have a few things to get done but I'll be back in two days time to come claim you. Be ready by then, My Wife."

You said nothing as he turned and dunked his head back underwater. For a brief moment a large and powerful blue-pink tail rose out from the water before disappearing with another splash and then he was gone leaving nothing but ripples behind. You stood there shocked for the longest time before your face paled, your eyes rolled back, and you collapsed into the soft grass in a dead faint.

By the time you woke up two hours later Akaza was completely gone without a trace. The first thing you did was stare. The second thing you did was bolt back to your house and lock the doors behind you and there you remained the rest of the day. A whirlwind of thoughts clouding your mind. That was Akaza!.. Wasn't it?! You saw him dive into the water. You SAW that thing if it was Akaza! It spoke in the same voice as him! It looked JUST LIKE HIM just with different colors! And then he was gone!! What even WAS that?! A merman?! Siren!? Some kind of swamp monster!? You didn't know. All you knew was that this couldn't possibly have been a dream! Not in broad daylight! Even if it was, how could you be by the stream unless you were sleep walking? Heck. You ALMOST believed that it was just a dream and you were sleepwalking if it wasn't for the fact that you found the purple flowers Akaza gave you on the floor where you dropped them yesterday. It was then that it hit you hard. It WASN'T a dream! It WAS real! It DID happen! YOU REALLY DID SEE A MERMAN!!

AND HE WAS COMING FOR YOU IN ONE DAY-

With fear in your mind and trembling hands you went to work. Locking up your animals, locking up your doors tight, bringing in your pitchfork for protection, and pushing anything you could up against the doors as a makeshift barricade. There you remained all through the second day in fear. Fear building up more bit by bit as the hours ticked away and the night approached fast. Already the sun was setting and the night was quickly taking over the skies. You had to be quick. You had to hide! You'd hide in the bathroom and barricade that door as well just in case. You'd just gotten some food from your grove and was about to store it inside since you had no idea how long you'd be in there and would prefer to have some fresh water and food on hand just in case-

"Y/n!"

You squealed dropping the basket of fruit at the sound of a voice before you could even get to your henhouse. Fruit thudded against the ground scattering at your feet as you whirled around and froze at the sight of Akaza there. He wasn't trying to disguise himself as a human this time and was that menergerie of colors including the pink hair, only this time he had legs. A few droplets of water dripped off his body as he smiled wider and you froze.

"...A-Akaza..."

"Yes. I know I'm early. I apologize for startling you," he apologized holding up a hand with something shiny in it. "But I couldn't wait to see you in this."

"... W-What is it?" You gulped expecting it to be some kind of dead fish by the shiny scales but was surprised when he revealed a bracelet of pearls.

"I wanted to gift you something sentimental. Pure white pearls are symbolic for purity, innocence, and simplicity." He explained holding it out to you. "And they're often used in wedding ceremonies. I couldn't think of anything else that could be more perfect for this moment." He then held out his hand and gently grabbed one of your frozen ones. "It's my wedding gift to you. I can't wait to see how beautiful you'll look in it."

You just stood there frozen and stunned as he happily wrapped the jewelry around your frozen wrist. He stepped back admiring his handy work as you still looked on in shock. The shiny pearls felt smooth, slightly wet, and a bit heavy on your wrist and reflected the red aura of the moon as it continued to rise in the sky with you both standing there. And reflecting Akaza's bright smile.

"Beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous." You looked back to him as he held your hand softly. "You look absolutely radiant in that. I'm so happy for tonight. Aren't you?"

"I-..." You glanced back to the bracelet before shaking your head and taking a step back. He looked completely surprised when you pulled your hand from his. "N-No. I can't do this! This is crazy! ''I-I don't even know you!"

He stood there completely stunned for a good moment before he slowly relaxed. "...You still don't remember me? I would've thought that you'd remember after seeing me in my true form. Do you not remember how you helped me years ago?"

You immediately shook your head no. "No! What are you even talking about?!"

"Over five years ago, I was young and stupid and tried to kill a professional monster hunter. Unfortunately for me he was actually very good at his job and nearly killed me after entangling me in a net. Fortunately by some miracle I was able to escape but I later washed ashore still tangled up." He tilted his head with a smile back on his face. "I very much could've died from dehydration or another far more evil human could've discovered me. However you were the one who did and you helped me without wanting anything in return."

You blinked shocked. "I what?"

"I don't blame you for not remembering. After all we were both still children then. However I was already dealing with so much loss, and a kindness like yours wasn't something I wanted to lose again." He held a hand out again. "So I asked you to marry me and you agreed. Do you perhaps remember that day now?"

You continued to stare at him for a long while. Staring at his pretty yellow eyes and soft smile. No. He must've been mistaking you for someone else. You've never met a merman before although you did remember daydreaming about meeting one like him a long time ag-....

WAIT A MINUTE-

Your eyes widened as a distant memory replayed in your head.

****************************************************************************************

"...Who...W-Who ARE you?!"

"...Akaza."

"Are you going to eat me?"

"I don't eat humans let alone women or children. ...Are you going to stand there and stare at me?"

You felt your body feel cold and frozen just standing there staring at the ..boopiy. creature? Before you. He stared at you with yellow eyes and veiny blue sclera eyes. Pink fluffy lashes matched his hair. His body had a strange line pattern to it as he just laid there staring up at you from being tangled in thick ropes around a admittedly beautiful blue and pink fish tail. You had just been wondering around by the stream and laid down for a nap after fishing unsuccessfully for a few hours now. Then you were woken up by the sounds of something big struggling along the riverbank to your left just struggling behind a thick bush leaning over the river. You assumed it was a beached fish or perhaps a deer that had gotten it's antlers stuck in the branches, however when you pulled the bush away you were shocked by what you saw. So shocked that you sorta..just went on numb autopilot staring at the boy your age struggling to untangle himself.

"I-....WHAT are you?! A-Are you a siren?!"

It was the boy's turn to look annoyed."Sirens and merfolk are two completely different beings. I wished you humans would stop mislabeling us."

Your eyes widened. "Y-Y-You're a merman?!"

"I'm glad you caught on. Now please stop staring. You'll draw attention to me and I don't need that right now."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before shaking your head and blinking. "H-How did you get here in the first place?!"

"I was being hunted by one of the Hunters. They're blaming me for a kelpie's killings although I'm sure they don't care." He watched as you stared at him a little longer before a hand touched his tail all of a sudden making him jump. "H-Hey! What are you doing?!"

You didn't answer. Instead tugging at the knots on the tail (that actually felt surprisingly smooth but wet) but found that the thick knots were too tight to be broken and you didn't have a knife on you. The ropes were also tangled up in the lower hanging branches of the bush. That must've been how he got stuck. Unfortunately it looked too terribly tangled up to get out without cutting it either. You'd be unable to cut him out....But.. Maybe he could slip out? He watched as you shifted to his tail and grabbed the ropes around it.

"What are do-AH?!"

He yelp as you bluntly pulled his tail up by the ropes lifting half his body off the went muddy bank and pulled up. The ropes were tight on him. And he was pretty heavy! You grunted pulling at them eventually jumping up and down a bit and trying to hook your fingers under the ropes to try and get a better grip on the ropes- Until something gave. With a wet splat sound, his tail wetly slipped through the ropes and he landed on the muddy ground with a thud leaving you holding ropes in your hands. Akaza hissed in lingering soreness that throbbed from his tail and groaned laying there.

You blinked at the ropes before tossing them aside and leaning over him. "Are you ok?"

"Incredibly sore but I'll live." His eyes turned back up to you surprised for the first time since you both met. "But...you helped me?"

"I mean-...You were stuck. Was I not supposed to? If you wanted to get out yourself then sorry. I guess. I mean I'd want someone to help me if I was trapped somewhere. Wouldn't you?"

"I...I suppose so." He pushed himself to sit up on his elbows raising a brow and looking you over. "It's just rare a human would help someone like me willingly."

You shrugged and looked at him. "I mean you did need help. I'm not sure what else I would do with you."

He continued to stare at you up and down before just silently flipping onto his stomach and you watched as he dragged himself across the short bank and into the water of the stream with a few water shuffling sounds. Blinking you continued to watch as his head reemerged a moment later and he looked at you. 

"Never the less, thank you for your assistance. I would appreciate it if you don't tell anyone about our meeting. It would put the both of us in danger."

You huffed. "I don't think anyone would believe me even if I did tell them. I don't even believe this! I'm going to wake up from my nap and this'll all be a dream."

He chuckled. "Perhaps so...But still one good deed deserves another. What's your name?"

"My name is Y/n, Mr. Dream Merman. But I assure you that I don't need anything in return even from a dream."

He smiled wider. "Perhaps not." He then tilted his head. "...Are you married or engaged? Or do you already have a lover?"

"No. I mean you'd already know that being a figment of my imagination."

"Then I shall return to marry you once we're older. In a few years there will be a new blood moon. I'll be back to claim you then. Let this be my marriage vow to you."

"Ok. Mr Dream Mer-"...You blinked. "Wait. What-"

With a PLUNK sound, the head disappeared and you were left there stunned and staring slack jawed at the water. Whatever really happened just...gone. you continued to stare until you did the only thing that you could do in this situation. Go back to your nap, and sleep away the rest of this weird dream.

**********************************************************************************

You continued to stare at him wide eyed and shocked as two powerful arms wrapped around your and gently pulled your body into Akaza's. His forehead dipping down to press against yours.

"Do you remember me now, My Heroine?"

"Oh my gods..." Your eyes finally blinked. "I agreed to be engaged to a dream fish."

The words made him end up laughing at you as you refocused. The red light of the moon reflecting off his eyes and making his colorful body light up like some beautiful stain glass windows before you froze again as a hand gently caressed your cheek. 

"Well, perhaps you will find this a little more satisfying than a dream.~ I already gave you my marriage vows, so allow me to seal our ceremony."

You didn't even have to ask what he meant when his face leaned ever closer and a pair of lips met yours.

[profoundbondfanfic]

do you have any destiel horrorfic recs?? (prefferably longfics with little to no smut but i can skip smut scenes)

also i love ur account ive found some of my favs on here/gen <33

Here are a few that came to mind (most with very skippable smut):

A Complete Kingdom by komodobits (Explicit, 85k words)

The sea; it swallows me. It comes up to my knees and it swallows me. The boys owe Jody a few dozen favours, and so when her niece goes missing near an old fishing village on the coast of Maine, Dean, Sam, and a newly human Castiel agree to take the case on. They settle into an old abandoned lighthouse-keepers' cottage, and slowly the tide comes in. (post-s8)

Between Love and Agony by Duckyboos (Explicit, 53k words)

Dean Winchester is in love. Like, bonafide heart eyes and deep sighs, hung-the-moon love. There's just one problem: the lucky guy is his husband's identical twin, Castiel. The two of them have been having a kinky affair for years, burrowing under each other’s skin and setting up camp. Which is why, after Castiel goes missing, Dean’s about ready to tear the world apart looking for him. When Castiel eventually returns to him, he’s been through literal hell, managing to drag himself out, bloody and raw, for Dean. Together, they discover a way to make Castiel whole again — though the price will be gruesome… and there will certainly be hell to pay.

empty places by dothraki_shieldmaiden (Mature, 71k words)

There’s something outside the house. Something is moving outside the house, moving inside the house. Maybe moving inside him. Something is outside the house, and it wants in. After tragedy derails his life, Castiel Novak needs to escape. He flees to Lawrence, Kansas, where he answers Dean Winchester’s ad for a roommate. There, he tries to mend the shattered pieces of his life. But as he starts to become closer with Dean, Castiel finds that escape isn’t so easy. The past doesn’t want to be left behind, and there’s something inside the house. Something hungry. And it won’t be appeased until it has him.

Every Part of the Animal by Askance (doomcountry), komodobits (Mature, 47k words)

It’s their first case after the Trials, after Heaven has collapsed: playing back-up to another team of hunters taking out some werewolves in the mountains. It's a routine job, an easy job - at least until the radio goes silent. Sam, Dean, and Cas follow after, but the caves into which the hunters have vanished wind deeper and darker than they could have expected, and something is wrong. Cas can feel it. The Winchesters may not believe what he’s hearing, but there's something down here with them—and it's not the people they came here to find, and it's not the werewolves they've been tracking. It's something else, something older, something violent, and it knows they're here.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies by Ariasune (Teen and Up, 13k words)

"Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

Good Bones by emmbrancsxx0 (Mature, 39k words)

An apple pie, white picket fence American Nightmare. Dean and Cas, married and semi-retired from hunting, move into their first house together in a sleepy, secluded town. After a few run ins with the ghost that haunts the place, they must come face-to-face with the house's grisly past.

like a thief in the night by kingdumbass (Mature, 28k words)

Plagued by nightmares since the death of his mother as a small child, Dean Winchester is no stranger to grief. After the sudden death of his brother and the unexplainable disappearance of Sam’s fiancee Jessica leave Dean reeling, the former detective turns towards alcohol to cope with the loss, but when the news of another missing peron’s case all the way out in Pontiac, Illinois jogs Dean’s memory of an old unsolved case with possible connections to the mysterious note his brother left behind, he feels compelled to pick up where he left off. Though once he rolls into town, he encounters more questions than answers. Namely: what’s real and what’s delusion? And how is the creature from his nightmares tormenting the residents of this small, suburban town?

On the Cutting Room Floor by callsigntango (Mature, 23k words)

In an Arachne hunt gone wrong, Dean "wakes up" in an AU style world as what he'd gone undercover as for the hunt: a journalist. But when he shows up to cover what should be a routine story on a suspicious death in Kansas, the world around him starts to unravel in horrific, painful ways. The appearance of a man claiming to be an Angel sends Dean into a tailspin -- but just as something about Cas begins to spark very real memories in Dean, Cas seems to be losing his own grip on what's real and what isn't. And as they struggle to free themselves from this distorted web of reality, something sinister is lurking just beyond their reach.

The Elevator Game by bexgowen, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 88k words)

The game is simple. Get in an elevator, and follow the rules. If you follow them correctly, the elevator will rise and when the doors open, they will open onto a world that is not your own.

the gardener by captcas (Explicit, 17k words)

Dean loves the gardens at 918 Westview Lane. And if that has something to do with the gardener there that just so happens to be easy on the eyes? Sue ‘em. Too bad he hasn’t had the guts to actually talk to the guy. Cas doesn’t take too kindly to people who disrespect the objects of his affection but he does love gardening. AKA the one where Castiel gives us all a lesson in ultra-specialized begonia fertilizer

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance (doomcountry) (Teen and Up, 31k words)

Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

These Violent Delights by SomethingBlue42, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 43k words)

Dean Winchester, war vet and functioning alcoholic with a life that’s going nowhere, takes a job at Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Dean had never heard of Dr. Castiel Novak notorious serial killer and cannibal given he’d been dodging bullets and performing field triage during Novak’s sensational trial. Seasoned orderly Rufus lays out the rules: Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils, no pens. Use the sliding food carrier only, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. And most importantly: don't tell him anything personal. But Dean was never much for following the rules and Castiel has a way of making Dean feel like he isn’t the grade-a loser his hot-shot FBI agent brother thinks he is. Then, a senator’s daughter goes missing, setting forth a chain of events that put Dean on a path that forces him to choose where his loyalties lie and just how far he’s willing to walk into the dark.

There's also our horror tag which you can check for more fics like these.

Additionally, there's the DeanCasHorrorFest filled with amazing destiel art and fic that might interest you.