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magnetokisser · 11 months ago

Text

IN RAINBOWS - CHAPTER ONE

summary: mostly filler, introduction chapter to the reader and our beloved boys!

warnings: mentions of drugs earlier on, murder + death at the end

word count: 2.5k

a/n: the school system is based off my own so sorry if its a little confusing !! either way i hope u enjoy reading 🙂‍↕️ lowercase is also intended.

metropolis was horrible in the hotter months. it was only spring, so it wasn't at it worst, but once summer comes around i may have to consider an extended leave to gotham. peeling my eyes open, i ran a hand down my face as i felt around my bed for my phone. my fingers touched the cool screen of the device– at least something was somewhat cold. the screen lit up, the time reading 5:30. i sighed, looking towards my fan and wondering why i wasn't getting any air from it only to see my cat, kiwi, blocking the whole thing. not only was she blocking the fan, but she was picking at the laces of my shoes as well. i stood up and walked towards her, running my fingers through her fur and picking her up. "i need some air too, kitty." i murmured, feeling the rumbles of her purring.

i eventually put her down and went downstairs since i had to feed my dad's dog, buddy. technically i was living alone for the moment. dad was always on a business trip for something somewhere, but it's not like he was distant or anything. he was everything but distant. when he was home, he tried to hover, but he always gave up because i never did anything interesting or tried to hide anything from him. we were close, and that bond strengthened after my mother died. leading up to her death, they argued a lot. he was a person of interest for a bit, but the case was eventually closed since there were no leads. it was frustrating, but i didn't want to try to play hero. we have enough of those already.

buddy was still sleeping by the time i made my way downstairs to feed him. he was a doberman; usually my dad took him on his little business trips, but this time around he kept him home. setting his bowl down, i gently scratched behind his ears before going back upstairs to shower.

i usually took cold showers in the morning to combat the metropolis heat. they worked most of the time, but they got worse around the middle of the day. thank god it was friday. after about an hour in the shower i finally got out before quickly changing and starting my walk to school. since it was my senior year and i had already completed most of my core classes, i decided to take on an early class for the second year in a row and get out much earlier than everyone else. i start school at 7:00 while everyone else starts at 8 in exchange for only taking 4 classes and getting out at 11. since i only have four classes, i was finishing up my third year of science, doubling up on math and getting to eat lunch before leaving. i could just skip lunch if i really wanted to, but it's free food!

i wasn't necessarily the most sociable person unless someone talked to me or approached me first. that being said, i'm not a social recluse either. i have my good chunk of friends- one being closer than most, and that's laila; but that's because she's just stuck around longer. that, and she doesn't know how to do her homework on time. the second i stepped into the school, laila was next to me and matching my pace. sometimes i wondered if she could read minds, but that would mean she'd be a meta. and she was, as rude as it sounds, too gullible to be one. "hey! hey!!" she huffed, waving her hand infront of my face. she called out my name and i finally decided to look over at her, bumping my shoulder against hers. "what? if you ask me for homework help again i'm gonna have to say no. my afternoon is filled with watching twilight and sleeping." i said, giving her a cheeky smile. she grumbled to herself for a moment before letting out a guttural groan. "can't you just stick around for lunch or something and help me? you're smart! that's why you finished your classes earlier than everyone else!" and the exact reason i'm not taking electives. i sighed and shook my head, walking to my class with her.

"that's not how it works," i started, glancing at her for a mere moment, "i finished my classes earlier because i took all of my harder and more important classes freshman year. and if i remember correctly," i paused, giving her a knowing look, "somebody was too high half of the time to remember to actually come to school." i shrugged, causing her to kick me with a surprising amount of force. "shut up! can you just tutor me or not?" she begs, clasping her hands together and turning to face me as we reached my class. letting out my third sigh in the past hour, i caved and said yes. she thanked me at least fifty times before scurrying off to her class before the late bell rang.

my first class was astronomy, which wasn't as interesting as it sounded. if you didn't get it confused with astrology, you knew what you were expecting. i was expecting math, but not this much math. it was tedious, but i had to deal with it. it wasn't terrible, but i didn't necessarily like it either.

the teacher droned on for most of the class period, pacing around the classroom to make sure that nobody was on their phone or sleeping. he called on me a few times, unfortunately. the old geezer managed to catch me off guard a few times with some of the questions, but it was whatever. class had ended before i knew it.

my next two classes were both math classes, sadly. my whole school day seemed to be filled with math other than the singular english class i was taking right before lunch. it was a writing class, so it was bearable enough. i enjoyed writing, actually. though, that was only when i didn't have writers block. that, and the teacher was one of the few teachers who wasn't grumpy and mad at the students because his life was going horribly. he cared for each and every one of his students, though not overbearingly.

my astronomy teacher had a stick up his ass every other day for no reason at all– he cheated on his dying wife and often liked to make fun of her infront of the class. no one laughed. my math teachers, both female (and related) were lighthearted and funny. they made the classroom atmosphere calm and you wouldn't feel embarrassed to get an answer wrong. my english teacher, like i said before, was my favorite. maybe it was because i've had him all four years of highschool, but it seemed i was a mirror of himself when i was his age.

upon walking into the classroom, he greeted me with my name and a smile. "it's nice to see you've finally caught up on sleep. you finish supernatural yet?" he asks, taking a jab at my poor sleep schedule. "no, not yet. and hey, i get more than enough sleep." i huff, setting my bag down and sitting in the second chair by his desk. he'd never admit it, but he put the second chair here for me. he said it was for the students he'd have help grade papers. (aka me.)

"what are we doing today? another essay?" i ask, spinning around slowly. "no, actually," he says, stopping my spinning so he could sit in his own chair, "i've decided to be nice teacher for a bit and let you guys watch a movie. nothing special, just make sure to pay enough attention to write a theme analysis once it's over. it should take up the whole week." he explained, causing me to sigh. "okay, whatever man." i shrug, standing up and moving the chair out of the way. i go to sit in my own seat and play on my phone for the remainder of the class, having already seen the movie.

the bell finally rang, and i watched as the students in my class ran through the door to get to their next destination. some were going to lunch while some were going their next class. i waved goodbye to my teacher and made my way to the library where i saw laila waiting for me. she beamed at me and was quick to wave me over– a bit too happy. sitting down, i gave her a once over before looking around to make sure no one was in earshot. "are you fucking high dude?" i whisper, furrowing my brows at her. she fell into a fit of giggles, leaning her body into my own. her eyes were the slightest shade of red, but it was nothing too noticable.

"i'm not..maybe." she whispered as i pushed her off of me. "drink some water. you still have three more classes after this." i said, grabbing her waterbottle from her bag. she murmured something along the lines of 'okay, mom.' under her breath before begrudgingly downing her whole water. i spent the entirety of lunch babysitting my friend.

the moment the bell rang, i abandoned laila with her boyfriend and was off to my humble abode. since it was only about 11:15, i decided to get my homework out of the way before lounging around with kiwi and buddy. maybe i'd take him on a walk tomorrow, i don't know yet.

------

walking in the door, i was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by kiwi and buddy. kiwi purred as she rubbed herself against my legs, presumably waiting for me to take off my shoes so she could ruin them once more. buddy on the other hand sat patiently as he waited for me to come pet him and tell him he could act like an normal dog. "jeez, buddy. what does dad do to you?" i asked, petting his head gently as kiwi snuck off with one of my shoes. i set my bag down and went to go change before returning to the kitchen and doing my homework. it was only around noon, so i had some time to kill before school got out. i let out a short whistle as i sat on the couch and watched as buddy raced over to me with enough speed to make my school's track team jealous. he was more than happy to sit next to me while i watched whatever piqued my interest at the moment. i ended up finding a movie to watch; it was an older movie, but i didn't mind. it was worth watching.

by the time the movie ended, buddy was restless and ready to take a walk. he let out a mixture between a bark and a whimper, ushering me to get up. "okay, okay," i chuckled, standing up and grabbing his leash and hooking it onto his collar. i slipped on a pair of slides before letting him out and locking the door behind me. i usually wasn't the one to take buddy on walks– that was my dad's job, and i know the dog got plenty when he went on business trips. speaking of my dad, i decided to call him and see what he was doing.

he finally picked up after a few rings, and i could hear his voice call out my name. "what's up, sweetheart?" he asks, messing around with something in the background. "nothing, just wanted to call and see what you were up to." i said, stopping so buddy could use the bathroom. "oh, you know," he paused, grunting as he lifted something, "just work stuff. what'cha doin? i hear birds; you outside?" he questions. "walking buddy. he misses you." i say, nearing the park. "oh, good. well, i've gotta go. i'll be home soon sweetheart, i promise." he promises, bidding me goodbye. i sigh and tuck my phone in my pocket, going into the dog park portion of the, well, human park? unhooking buddy's collar, i watch as the black dog runs off to go roll around in the grass and use up all of his energy. after a bit of me sitting on a bench and scrolling on my phone, a black great dane sauntered in and immediately ran over to me. he began to sniff at me, giving me pleading eyes as if asking me to pet him.

"hey, bud.." i smiled, scratching behind his ears. someone walked up to me and cleared their throat, causing me to look up. it was a boy with olive skin and black hair, with green eyes that tied everything together. "is this your dog?" i ask, offering him a small smile. why does he look so familiar?

"yes." he says, keeping it short. okay, wow? "uh..well, what's his name?" i ask, feeling the dog rest his head on my lap. seemingly begrudgingly, he gives me his name. "titus." he grumbles, his gaze falling on the dogs head in my lap. "it fits." i say, continuing to smile at him. before the conversation can get any more awkward, yet another boy walks over. "hi! sorry about him." he says, shoving the first boy to the side a bit so he could stand infront of me instead. jesus, they were tall.

"i'm sorry about titus, too. he likes to meet new people." the boy says, adjusting his glasses. behind those glasses are vibrant blue eyes that sit against beige skin with a head of fluffy black hair. "oh, it's okay," i say, lifting titus' head as buddy trots over to me so i can stand up, "what's your name?" i ask, wishing to know the name of my savior. "my name is jon! and this," he pauses, pointing a thumb back at his friend. "is damian." he finishes with a smile. "very fitting names." i say, stealing a glance at the raven haired boy behind him. i gave jon my name before putting buddy's leash back on. "it was nice meeting you, but i have to go. he'll fall asleep on the sidewalk if i don't get him home soon." i laugh, rubbing buddy's side as i waved at them. "i hope to see you around! byee!" jon called after me, turning and saying something to damian after i was put of earshot.

as i walked home, i still couldnt help but feel like damian looked and sounded familiar. i brushed it off and let buddy inside first after unlocking the door and went upstairs to change into my pajamas. turning on the tv, i held kiwi in my lap as i brushed her while the news anchor went on and on about a kitchen fire when the breaking news came on. i looked up, feeling kiwi nibble at my hand as i listened to the woman speak.

"it seems after six grueling years, the serial killer known as the sundown slasher has struck again. known for skinning the faces of their victims, after sundown and earning their namesake, another body has popped up once again.."

i sighed and muted the TV, looking down at kiwi. i hated this. he was part of the reason my dad had cameras in and outside of the house. for a little bit of my childhood i was sure the sundown slasher had killed my mom. but once the case went cold, i pushed the thought to the back of my head. shutting off my lamp, the TV was the only thing illuminating my room as kiwi and i laid down. i quickly sent a text to my dad before turning on some random cartoon and slowly dozing off.

#damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #dc robin #jonathan kent #jon kent #jon kent x reader #superboy #teen titans #batman #bruce wayne #clark kent #x reader

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anniemika · 2 years ago

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Lost and Found

Eren Jaeger x Female Reader

Chapter III: Reflection

Chapter summary: The day your lives intertwined, it rained. Now, Eren tries to deal with the storm his choices left behind him.

Words: 8k

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

…..

11 years ago

Math was so freaking annoying. What good did it ever do someone, anyway? Eren couldn’t understand it. Well, that was mostly because his mind was always preoccupied with something else, more precisely with how much he wanted to play his guitar when he got home, but still, it was so hard, and for what?

Sighing, he put the pen next to his notebook, rested his elbows on his desk, and leaned his head on his hands. Detention was a freaking bust today. He’d been there everyday for a week because he got into yet another fight with Jean - this time during gym practice. They had this love-hate relationship that seemed to bring a lot of headaches for their gym teacher because they’d always stir up trouble during class. Who could jump the highest? Instant competition. Who was going to be the captain of the volleyball team? Eren and Jean would fight it out. It was a tale as old as time, and everyone was fed up with it.

But it seemed that Jean was the luckier of the two, because the bastard caught a cold and couldn’t attend school for the rest of the week. It so wasn’t fair, because to top it all off, the teacher in detention was none other than old, grumpy Mr. Rogers, who always made sure to keep students in detention busy with their unfinished homework. So now, as he counted how many tiles the floor consisted of while old Mr. Rogers read the morning newspaper, Eren wasn’t expecting anything interesting to happen on this boring, rainy day. That was, until you walked into the room, with your heavy backpack on and some books under your arm. Eren lifted his head, watching as you apologized to Mr. Rogers for being late, then stumbled awkwardly before finding your seat on the other side of the room. He was surprised to see you there to say the least. You weren’t one to instigate trouble or run from class, you had good grades as far as he knew, and you mostly kept to yourself. So, you being in the same room as him right now was a mystery to Eren.

If he had to be honest, you as a whole were an enigma to him. He couldn’t recall if you’d ever spoken to each other in all the years you’d shared the same classes, but he did know one thing about you.. you sure were pretty. He couldn’t count the numerous times when he’d stolen furtive glances at you while you were engrossed in your books, quickly averting his gaze whenever you would lift your head up. But that was it. He’d thought you were too introverted and perhaps not too receptive to the idea of being friends with someone, well.. as outspoken as him. However, seeing you in detention today sparked a sense of curiosity within the green-eyed boy.

“Jaeger,” Mr. Rogers’ grumpy voice echoed through the classroom, “did I instruct you to stop doing your homework?”

Eren rolled his eyes, redirecting his attention back to the equations written inside his notebook. But Eren’s curiosity was something he wasn’t adept at suppressing. He couldn’t help himself from stealing occasional glances in your direction, noticing the tiny smiles that appeared on your face as you read your novel. It piqued his interest even more, and he found himself wondering what could possible be making you smile while in detention. It was so pretty, your smile.. so gentle, yet radiant, with a hint of mischief in your eyes. It held a captivating charm that drove Eren to want to see it shine fully.

The rain was pouring down outside, and the sound of it tapping against the window of the classroom was enough to put almost anyone to sleep. As Eren took notice of the raindrops and how they danced across the window glass, he noticed that the monotony of their sound seemed to have lulled Mr. Rogers into a deep slumber, the newspaper now resting against his chest. His quiet snores synchronised with the rain’s rhythm, and the sight instantly formed an idea inside Eren’s brain. But to make it more fun, he needed an accomplice.

Looking back at you, he mustered the courage to approach you and quietly stood up before moving closer to your desk. You didn’t notice him until he was just centimeters away, your attention still on the lines written inside your book.

“Hey,” he said, his voice slightly shaky, “what book are you reading?”

You looked up at him, with your doe eyes going wide, visibly not expecting anyone to approach you.

“Oh, uhm,” you nervously removed a strand of hair behind your ear, “just this novel I’ve been meaning to read.”

There was a hint of shyness in your reply that made you look even cuter in Eren’s eyes. He smiled at you, relieved that he wasn’t brushed off. “Mind if I join you? Detention can be pretty boring, and I could sure use a distraction.”

You met his gaze with some hesitation in your eyes, but something about his warm smile and friendly demeanor put you at ease. With a nod, you scooted over to make room for him to sit next to you. When he did, his focus moved between you and the sleeping teacher, making sure he was still in his previous position, then back on you.

“So,” he nodded towards the book on your desk, “what’s it about?”

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of pink coloring your cheeks as you turned to face him.

“Well, interestingly enough,”, you began, voice quiet as you tried not to wake up Mr. Rogers, “it’s called “Melodies of the Rain.” It’s a love story set in a small town during a rainy season. The rain plays a significant role in the story, symbolizing both the challenges and the beauty of the character’s love for each other.”

Not expecting a boy of Eren’s age to be interested in a romance novel, you genuinely thought he’d laugh or brush it off as girl’s stuff. So, when you saw his big eyes sparkle with curiosity, you were more than surprised.

“Sounds interesting. I think weather can really influence the tone of a story, or a song. Do you have a favorite character or moment so far?”

His genuine interest caught you off guard for a moment, but you quickly found your words. "Well, there's this scene where the two main characters meet for the first time in the rain. It's a special moment that brings them together and sparks their love story. It's really something."

Eren nodded, keeping his eyes on you. "That does sound like something special for a first meeting. It's cool how a little rain can make everything feel.. well, magical."

Noticing how his eyes shifted to the rain outside, you felt a flutter inside your chest. You loved when it rained. "Exactly," you agreed. "The rain becomes almost like a character itself, shaping their journey and adding depth to it."

Eren looked back at you as his smile widened, leaning a bit closer, “Like it knows their story and adds its own touch of magic to it.”

You smiled. It was rare to find someone who appreciated the nuances of a story like you did. “Yes,” you said, unable to hide your enthusiasm, “that’s right.”

There was this shared moment between the two of you, with his eyes locked onto yours, that made your heart race a little bit faster. His eyes were.. well, they were trouble all right. But yet so, so beautiful. A colour you’d never seen before on another person. With an unique blend of deep green and hints of blue, they looked almost unreal, drawing you in with their intensity.

“Uhm,” he cleared his throat, moving a bit away from your face. You could swear you saw a hint of redness on his cheeks, “You know, I’d like to borrow it sometime. When you finish it, of course.”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, “Sure, I’d be happy to lend it to you. To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be interested in it.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Really? Why?”

“Well..”, you spent a moment to choose your words, “I don’t suppose a lot of boys would be interested in a story like this.”

Eren thought about what you said for a second, then nodded, “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I really do like the idea, though. But anyway..” he swivelled his chair in your direction so he could face you fully, “speaking of expectations.. I didn’t expect to see you here. Like, ever.”

His remark caught you off guard. “Really?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders, “You don’t strike me as the troublemaking type.”

He was right about that. Breaking the rules was never really your thing. “I guess that’s true.”

“Well, then.. why’re you here?”

Your cheeks flushed, and you hesitated for a moment before responding, “It’s.. embarrassing.”

Eren chortled, “Believe me, I’ve been in more embarrassing situations than none embarrassing ones. If there’s a person you can tell, it’s definitely me.”

His smile was reassuring, and you felt a sense of comfort in his presence, so that was enough to muster the courage and confide in him.

“I’ve spent the last couple of nights reading this book and today.. I accidentally fell asleep in his class.” You gestured towards the slumbering teacher on the other side of the room, and Eren followed your gaze.

He shook his head, letting out a low laugh, “He sent you here for just falling asleep?”

“Well.. not exactly. After I apologized profusely, he still decided to put me in front of the entire class and told me to teach the lesson. I said I couldn’t, everyone laughed, and after that he sent me here.”

Eren stared at you for a few seconds, his eyes wide, too dumbfounded by what you just told him. A flicker of anger crossed his features, and you could see his jaw tense slightly. “Yup, that cemented it. Rogers is the biggest asshole to ever exist.”

Feeling a twinge of guilt, you interjected, “Well, it was kinda my fault-“

Eren’s expression hardened, his voice firm as he cut you off, “You apologized. He could’ve at least warned you instead of trying to embarrass you like that. Especially when it was his class that made you fall asleep in the first place.”

You chuckled at his last sentence. It was truly impressing how passionate and determined he was in his opinion.

“Some teachers like to exert their authority I guess.”

But Eren wasn’t gonna let that slide.

You saw his forest greens flicker towards Mr. Rogers’ desk. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he noticed a key lying on top of it.

“Hearing what you just told me really takes away any guilt about what I'm about to do."

“Huh?” You brought your eyebrows together in confusion.

Eren stared at Mr. Rogers’ desk for a few more moments, then turned to you excitedly.

“Okay, listen,” he whispered, “I know it might sound crazy, but let’s ditch this?”

Your confusion intensified. “What? Detention?”

Eren didn’t say anything, but with the devilish smile he had on his face, there was no need to.

“But he’ll probably get us suspended.”

The boy leaned close to you, a bit too close, and the proximity drove you to take a sharp breath in.

“I think it’ll be worth it.”

You didn’t know if you were getting hypnotised by his eyes or his voice, but from Eren’s mouth, the idea didn’t sound that bad.

“..Okay” your voice sounded like you were still contemplating it, “What do you have in mind?”

Eren leaned all the way to your ear, gently removing a strand of your hair so you could hear him better, a move that spread goosebumps over your skin. After whispering a few sentences of his master plan, he leaned back on his chair, looking at you expectantly. You couldn’t believe you were doing this.

“Okay.”

Eren flashed you his pearly whites, and you caught yourself blushing again. He truly had a beautiful smile.

Quietly gathering your belongings, you watched as the green eyed boy stood up from his seat, and with a swift and calculated move approached Mr. Rogers’ desk, still careful not to make any noise. He glanced at the sleeping teacher, taking one final step towards his objective, when a loud creak filled the room. You gasped, maybe a little too loud, and Eren turned around with his finger in front of his mouth, silently shushing you. Bracing himself, he slowly turned to see if Mr. Rogers’ had moved, but all he was greeted with were his loud snores. Smiling to himself, he quickly grabbed the key from the desk, and you took it as a sign to start moving.

Tippy toeing to the classroom door, you gave Eren a quick look as he silently put his books inside his bag, gesturing for you to open the door. Gulping, your eyes went to the sleeping Mr. Rogers, his face grumpy even when in deep slumber. This was it. Now or never.

As you opened the classroom door, Eren quickly moved behind you, holding the key in his hand. With a mischievous grin, he carefully locked the door from the outside, ensuring that Mr. Rogers would stay right where he was. Your heart was pumping so fast, you were sure Eren was bound to hear it. You’d never done anything like this before, but watching his reassuring eyes as he grabbed you by the hand and led you through the school corridors, you knew everything was going to be okay.

The rain poured down outside, but you barely noticed as you and Eren made your way to the school's back exit. As you stood in front of the door, hand in hand, Eren shared one last look with you, “You ready?”

In that moment, you felt no hesitation. Nodding, you squeezed his hand, and the green eyed boy needed no further confirmation.

Eren’s grin never left his face as he pushed the door open, and you both burst through it, stepping out into the torrential downpour. The rain instantly drenched you, soaking your clothes and hair within seconds. Laughing uncontrollably, you both sprinted across the school grounds, the sound of your footsteps blending with the pitter-patter of raindrops. The sound of the rain hitting the ground seemed to drown out the thoughts of consequences and potential trouble that were creeping into your mind before. Eren's infectious excitement was contagious, and you couldn't help but get caught up in the thrill of the moment. It was exhilarating.

You ran through the empty schoolyard, your laughter filling the air. As you reached the edge of the school grounds, you hid under the school bleachers, finally catching your breath. The rain continued to pour, but it didn't dampen your spirits. You and Eren stood there, drenched and breathless, looking at each other with a mix of exhilaration and contentment.

"We did it," Eren exclaimed, his voice filled with a sense of triumph.

"Yeah," you replied, a wide grin spreading across your face. "We really did."

Gazing into Eren's greens, in that moment, you felt something. It wasn't just the thrill of the moment or the shared adventure that brought you together; it was something special. It felt as if you had known each other for years, even though your friendship had only begun 10 minutes ago.

The rain continued to fall, but it became nothing more than background noise. The world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of shared energy. Eren's hand in yours provided a sense of comfort and grounding amidst the storm.

"I still can't believe we actually did it," you said, your voice filled with awe.

Eren's laughter intertwined with the melodic patter of raindrops hitting the ground. "Yeah, he’ll give us hell for that for sure,” he shook his head, staring up at the sky. After a few seconds, his eyes went to you, a look you couldn’t quite decipher on his face, “I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anybody else though."

There was a vulnerability in Eren's gaze, a glimpse of the person he truly was beneath the tough exterior you’d previously thought he had. The boy you saw before, the loudmouth who always got into trouble and couldn’t stay away from a fight, was now in a different light in your eyes. And you knew that he saw the same in you.

“It was really fun.” A genuine smile appeared on your lips, “And something you’d never catch me doing if it wasn’t for you. Thanks, Eren.”

The boy raised his eyebrows, hearing what his name sounded like for the first time in that pretty voice of yours, “Well, I’m glad to be the one to bring out your wild side.”

“I guess you’re pretty good at that, huh?” You chuckled, lightly nudging him on the shoulder.

Eren grinned, his voice filled with playful pride, “I’d like to think I have a talent for it.”

“You sure do.”

“That’s good. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep from boredom whenever we hang out.”

Your heart fluttered as the green eyed boy casually mentioned it, and you knew he didn’t mean at school. It caught you by surprise to say the least. After all, today was probably the first time you’d ever had an actual conversation with each other, and you’d assumed that this “adventure” together was going to be a one time thing, a spontaneous moment of connection.

You blinked, still processing his words, and it must’ve shown, because Eren’s face had become as red as a tomato, hand scratching at his neck nervously.

You tried to hide your own red cheeks in your damp sweater, meekly asking, “Hang out again, huh?”

“I-I mean,” his voice wavered, and he wanted to punch himself in the face for it, “only if you want to.” After a second, he felt the need to add, “I know I do.”

A genuine smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you watched Eren stumble over his words. It was endearing to see him flustered, and it made you not so embarrassed for acting the same way.

With a soft smile, you turned to him, voice carrying a soothing and tender note, “I’d like that, too.”

Eren’s eyes grew big, with a spark of excitement flickering in his gaze. “Yeah?”

You nodded, smile still adorning your face, “Yeah.”

A brief silence enveloped the air. It was a comfortable one, filled with anticipation and the unspoken promise of more adventures to come.

The rain had quieted down, only teardrops falling from the clearing sky. Breaking the silence, Eren's curiosity got the better of him as he leaned in slightly, his eyes gleaming with interest. "So, tell me," he began, his voice laced with genuine intrigue, "what do you like to do? Except reading, of course. You always have a book in hand.”

Using the term “always” left a peculiar feeling inside your chest. He’d noticed. “I love to read. It’s kind of like.. my escape goat. When I get burnout from school or work, it’s what resets my brain.”

Eren’s eyes rose up, “You work?”

You nodded, “I help at the flower farm just outside of town.”

The corners of his mouth lifted, “You like flowers, huh?”

“Shocker, right? Romance novels, flowers.. I guess they go hand in hand,” you chuckled lightly, “but yes, I love flowers. I don’t think there’s a girl in the world who doesn’t.”

“It’s a sure way to a woman’s heart I guess.” Eren commented, “Whenever my dad or I get into trouble with my mom, it’s the safest path to her forgiveness.”

“Does she have a favorite flower?” You curiously asked, tilting your head in a way that had butterflies coursing through Eren’s stomach.

“Uhm, yeah.. they’re called lillies, I think.”

Your eyes shot up with excitement, “Really? I love lillies, too. I think they’re one of the most beautiful flowers.”

“Yeah. My dad always makes sure she has them on our kitchen table.”

“Wow,” you couldn’t help but have a smile on your face, “they must really love each other.”

“I think they really do, yeah.”

Eren noticed the hint of sadness in your expression as you looked up at the clearing sky.

"You know, it's funny," you began, "my parents used to love each other like that too. They were always doing sweet things for each other, just like your dad with the lilies. But things changed over time."

Trying to swallow the ball of emotion that was forming in your throat, you continued.

"They divorced a few years ago," your voice carried a delicate blend of sadness and acceptance. "It was hard at first, seeing them drift apart and witnessing the love they once had fade away. Dad moved out of town, left my mom and I to gather the pieces. But I guess that's just how life goes sometimes."

Eren looked at you, unsure of what to say, or if it was okay to say anything at all. He didn’t have your experience, but tried to imagine how hard it all must’ve been.

“I’m sorry,” his tone was soft, “it must take a lot of strength to go through something like that.”

"Well.. it kind of stays with you. But you know," you said, a glimmer of hope returning to your eyes, "despite the pain and heartbreak, I still believe in love. I believe that there's someone out there for everyone, who will cherish and appreciate them just as they are."

Eren smiled warmly, “That’s a nice way to think about it.”

The boy looked down at the muddy ground, his mind set on thoughts he never had until now. He couldn’t imagine his parents separating, not being with each other like he had seen them all their life. It was unimaginable to him, and that’s when he realized how lucky he actually was. And you.. you were so strong. You had that silent strength when you talked about your experiences, still positive after everything you’d gone through. And only at 15. It was truly impressive.

“I bet you’ll find that someone one day,” he looked at you with certainty, “I have a good feeling about it.”

Your heart fluttered, taken aback by his words. The sincerity in his eyes sent a rush of warmth to your cheeks, causing them to tint with a gentle blush. It was an unexpected moment, but it sparked something inside you.

"Thank you," you replied, your voice tinted with a hint of shyness. "I hope you do too, Eren."

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he laughed ironically, “it has to be someone patient, that’s for sure.”

“Well, I have a feeling you’ll be worth it.”

Eren’s laughter faded, replaced by a bashful smile. “You think?”

“Mhm. You’re fun and you’re kind. It compensates the other things.”

He laughed again, this time way louder, “Oh, the other things?”

“You know, the troublemaking.” You nudged his shoulder with your own, also letting out a laugh, “But I admire the way you always speak your mind.”

Eren shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t really help it I guess. It’s stronger than me. I just have so many thoughts in my head sometimes.. that’s why I like to write them down. That’s how I started writing songs, actually.”

Your eyes grew wide, “Wait, you what? Really?”

"Yeah," he replied with a smile. "I've been writing for a while now. It's my way of expressing myself and getting all those thoughts out of my head. It’s kind of like free therapy."

"That's amazing," you said, genuinely impressed. "Do you play any instruments?”

“I have a guitar my parents gave me for my birthday last year. I try to play everyday but I’m still not as good as I’d like to be. I will be one day, though.”

You watched the green eyed boy talk about his passion with the fire glowing in his eyes. You didn’t know why, but you believed him. Someone who talked about everything with that much determination was bound to do something with his life.

“That’s so cool. You have to play me something one day.”

Eren was taken aback by the enthusiasm in your voice, causing his heart to race with unexpected intensity. Until now, he had kept his passion a secret, sharing it only with his parents who believed it to be a mere hobby. Opening up about his dreams was not something that came naturally to him, especially considering how unlikely they seemed for a small-town boy like himself. Determined to make it a reality, he had chosen to silently work towards his goal, in stark contrast to his usually boisterous personality. However, as he looked at you, seeing your genuine eyes, he thought that maybe sharing wasn’t such a bad thing.

“You got it.”

“Promise?”, you tilted your head to the side, a playful smile dancing on your face. Warmth coursed through Eren’s chest at the sight of it.

“Promise.”

Tiny raindrops dribbled from the edges of the bleachers and onto the school grounds, with a sliver of sunlight piercing through the somber sky, casting a warm glow upon the tranquil scene. The chirping of birds was like a soothing canvas as everything around you became quiet. The comfortable silence embraced you, as if you had experienced this peaceful moment countless times before.

Well, that was until you heard a window slam open somewhere in the distance.

“Jaeger!” Mr. Rogers’ voice was so angry, it sounded like it could rock the foundation of the school.

“Shit!” Eren jumped, instantly grabbing you by the hand. “We gotta go.”

“Yeah.” You tried to hide your laugh as you saw Mr. Rogers’ ears basically puff smoke in the distance. It was a comical sight to say the least, but you knew better than to linger. Hand in hand, you sprinted towards the school ground exist.

“You little brats! I’ll get you for this!” Mr. Roger’s enraged voice echoed behind you, but your laughter drowned it out as you ran.

Eren’s grip on your hand tightened, a reassurance that you were in this together. You could sense the adrenaline coursing through his veins, matching your own, as you both ran towards the exit. And in that moment, you just knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time you would hold his hand.

…..

Warm.

It felt so freaking warm.

The heat of the midday sun beat down mercilessly on Eren's face, intensifying the searing pain that radiated through his entire being. His senses slowly returned to him, his eyelids struggling to open against the blinding brightness coming from the window. His mouth felt parched, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth as he attempted to wet his lips.

As his vision gradually cleared, Eren took in his surroundings. He found himself lying on his bed in his old house. The room was bathed in a soft golden glow, suggesting that morning was long gone.

His head throbbed with a dull ache, and as he gingerly touched his face, he winced at the sharp pain emanating from his left eye. The memories of the previous night flooded back to him - a night he preferred to forget. Jean’s words still reverberated in his head like a broken record, each repetition intensifying the pain in his head. The air in the room quickly turned suffocating, as if it had turned against him, mirroring the turmoil within.

Summoning his strength, Eren pushed himself off the bed and made his way to the window. As he leaned against the frame, a gentle breeze brushed against his face, offering a brief respite from the stifling heat. He closed his eyes, allowing the cool air to wash over him, soothing the pain his headache provided.

He didn’t remember much of how he got here last night. All he knew was that he’d heard his father’s voice, and a pang of guilt pierced him. Embarrassing him yet again. Good job, you dick.

He exhaled, resting his head against the window frame, trying to get himself together. It’d only been a couple of days since he’d been back, and he’d managed to create more chaos than progress.

But he should’ve thought about that long ago.

Turning around, his gaze settled on his unchanged room. It felt as though time had stood still in his absence. His posters still adorned the walls, his old desk covered in lyrics he had scribbled over the years, and his collection of CDs untouched. It was weird. The house had changed, but his room and the kitchen where his mom used to cook were still the same. As if they never left.

Once again, Eren Jaeger felt like a complete piece of shit.

With heavy steps, he made his way to the bathroom. As he glanced into the mirror, his disheveled appearance reflected back at him, accentuated by the bruise forming around his eye. A sigh slipped from his lips, a blend of exasperation and fatigue.

He turned the shower knob, adjusting the water temperature to his liking. As the steam filled the room, he stepped under the soothing spray, letting it envelop him in a comforting embrace. The gentle pressure of the water against his skin eased the tension that had settled in his muscles.

Eren was.. He was tired. All that had happened was too much for 3 days, and he certainly didn't help himself by drinking so much yesterday. It had all taken a toll on him, but now, as his stood in his old bathroom, in his old house, looking down at the worn out tiles… he finally realized the severity of it all.

Why did he come back? What was he trying to do? Screw your life more than he already had?

Why didn’t he come back sooner? He’d spent the last couple of years completely miserable, what was he waiting for? Could it have made any difference?

Maybe.. maybe not.

It was futile to think about nonetheless.

It wasn’t futile to think about you, though. About Lily. But Eren realized that whenever he would think about the two of you, the pain inside his chest was just too much to bare. He felt so weak, so defeated, even though he had vowed to himself not to let the guilt stop him.. it was too much to keep at bay.

As his thoughts became somber again, he knew he needed to get out of the house. He let his damp hair roam freely around his shoulders as he opened his old wardrobe, grabbing the first shirt and jeans he could find. They still fit, although they didn’t feel as stretchy as they once did. Grabbing his phone, he realised his keys were not in his room, remembering he wasn’t the one driving yesterday.

His steps through the house as Eren called out to his father, hastily throwing his leather jacket on.

“Dad? Are you home?” His words hung in the air, unanswered. Eren's eyes darted around the hallway, searching for his keys, until something in the kitchen caught his attention. There, on the kitchen table, his keys laid waiting, but it was something else that caught his eye. Something that tugged at his heartstrings, transporting him back to his childhood in an instant.

Lillies.

He knew exactly where he needed to go.

…..

The end of summer. It was your favorite time, and yet, it still felt so melancholy.

The flowers, once vibrant and colorful, began to wither, their petals gently falling to the ground like tears of farewell. Each delicate bloom, once a symbol of life's beauty, now stood as a reminder of the fleeting nature of time. It saddened you to witness their inevitable decline, knowing that their vibrant hues would soon be replaced by the muted tones of autumn.

Yet, amidst the melancholy, there was a glimmer of hope. For as summer bid its farewell, autumn began to awaken. It whispered promises of renewal, of a second chance for life to flourish. The crisp air carried the scent of change, as the trees prepared to shed their leaves, painting the world in a tapestry of gold, orange, and red.

You were split between emotions of sadness and joy. Lily was going to enter first grade, and she just couldn’t wait to go to school. The same school that shaped your younger years, that made you the person you are today. And still, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness, knowing that your little girl was growing up so fast. The withering flowers in your garden, the same one you watched her play in all summer, mirrored the passing of time, and made you hold the precious moments you had shared together even more dearly than before.

And now, as she helped you harvest the fallen apples from your backyard tree, you realized just how grown she really was. It felt like it was just yesterday when she was a tiny baby in your arms, with the chubbiest, pinkiest cheeks, and her big eyes that looked at you and the world around her with so much curiosity. Now, she helped you bake apple pies and wanted to help clean the dishes and help you at the flower shop.

You wondered if she had noticed your nervousness in the past couple of days. You hoped not. She was the most important thing in the world to you, and you tried your best to protect her from your feelings. Feelings you’d thought you’d buried so deep, there was no way they could resurface. And yet, one look at his eyes was enough to make your world crumble.

You couldn’t fathom it. He’d been a ghost in your life for so long, it sometimes felt like he never truly existed. So, when you saw him in the store a few days back, it was the first time in your life that you felt close to fainting. He was.. different, but still the same. His hair was longer, the circles under his eyes darker, but his presence carried the weight of familiarity. And seeing him and Lily in the same space.. it was scary how much she looked like him. You always knew she resembled him, but never thought it was this uncanny. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself, but the emotions that flowed within you scared you. It was as if time had played a cruel trick on you, bringing him back into your life when you least expected it. You had to be strong, you’d promised yourself that the past was the past, and no matter what, you couldn’t let it stir up your life.

Only if it was that easy.

The day after you first saw him was even worse. Finally saying those words to him and watching his reaction was way harder than you could’ve imagined. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you never imagined telling him about Lily. If you didn’t imagine what life could’ve been if he hadn’t left you all those years ago. But those were thoughts long gone. You’d moved on with your life, building a loving and happy environment for your daughter. Nothing was more important than that. Even if that meant keeping him as far away as possible. Even if it meant never getting closure.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you continued to gather the fallen apples with Lily. You didn't want her to see the turmoil that churned within you, the memories and emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. She deserved a carefree childhood, free from the weight of adults and their mistakes.

As you carefully placed the apples into a basket, you stole a glance at her. Her innocence and joy were evident in those turquoise eyes of hers, and it reminded you of the importance of shielding her from the heartache that life could bring. As you finished gathering the apples, you put on a brave face and smiled at her, grateful for the distraction she provided.

"Let's go inside and start baking those pies, shall we?" you suggested, hoping to shift your focus to the present moment. Lily's eyes lit up with excitement, and you instantly felt a spark of joy. Together, you walked back to the warmth of the kitchen, leaving the ghosts of the past behind.

At least for now.

…..

The road to the old cemetary was old and weathered, its gravel path lined with aged trees that stood as silent sentinels. Eren didn’t remember it like that. Maybe it was because of all the years that had passed, or maybe because he had never truly paid attention to the surroundings before. But still, it felt peaceful.. beautiful, even.

The memories seemed to slowly return to him. There was this feeling of unease and unbearable sadness that always followed him before. He never liked going to the cemetery because of that. The thought of the most important person in his life, being buried under the ground, where hundreds of other people were also laid to rest, was too much for a boy of 17. He always wondered how people could find solace in a place like this. One that seemed to carry only heartache to him.

Seeing the worn out sign in the distance, he parked his car down the road. Stepping outside, he took a look beyond the fence, and into the rows of gravestones. One of those belonged to his mother. He wondered if he still remembered which one.

Entering, he looked around to take in his surroundings, and his legs carried him instinctively, as if they knew the way. It was like his steps were guided by an unseen force. He walked further in, his eyes scanning the faded markings of the numerous gravestones he passed by, in search of the one that held his mother’s name. The sun cast long shadows, adding to the hushed atmosphere of the place.

He suddenly stopped when someone in the distance captured his attention. It was a man, standing in front of a white gravestone, with white flowers placed in front of it. Eren moved one more step before he knew who the man was.

His father’s head was bowed down, hands clasping his hat in front of him. It seemed like he was talking, but Eren was too far to hear. Slowly, he closed the distance between them, his steps tentative as if to not interrupt him. Grisha Jaeger continued to speak softly, his words carried away by the gentle breeze. All that Eren was able to hear was, “he’s back, Carla. He’s really back.”

“Dad." Eren finally muttered. His father’s head snapped up, surprise and a flicker of vulnerability reflecting in his eyes.

“Son,”, Grisha gave him a small smile. Eren felt like he didn’t deserve it. “You mother and I were just talking about you.”

Eren’s head turned in the direction of the beautiful tombstone in front of them. It was white marble, with intricate carvings of flowers and vines. A bouquet of white lilies adorned the bottom. The sunlight danced upon its surface, casting a gentle glow that seemed to breathe life into the stone.

Carla Jaeger, it read. A beacon of love and strength.

Eren knelt down, tracing the delicate engravings with his fingertips. Below her name, a heartfelt tribute unfolded.

“In loving memory of a soul who touched lives with kindness, a heart that embraced all, and a spirit that shone with unwavering love.”

Yup. That was his momma.

He didn’t notice the moment his eyes filled with tears. The memories of his mom flooded his brain like a rushing river, overwhelming and relentless. Each memory was a precious gem, sparkling with the love and warmth she had bestowed upon him. Upon everyone who knew her.

“I miss her,” he finally broke down, his hand covering his tearful eyes, “I miss her so much.”

His father remained silent. In that moment, perhaps there was no need for words. They both knew that they shared the same grief.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Eren continued, his voice so shaky, he was barely able to control it, “I’m so messed up. I don’t know what to do.”

Grisha tried to control his own emotions, seeing his son breaking down in front of him. He reached out, his hand gently resting on Eren’s trembling shoulder, offering a silent comfort that words could not adequately express.

“I’m sorry, mom..”, Eren’s whispers filled the air, “I’m sorry I never visited.”

Grisha tightened the grip on his son’s shoulder. His heart ached seeing him like this.

“Eren,” he softly called his name, “it’s okay. She knows.”

At that, Eren fully broke down into his father’s arms. Grisha held him firmly as his son sobbed, gently caressing his hair.

“There’s no need to apologize. Your mother knew your heart.” Eren could feel his father holding back tears of his own. “She understood you better than anyone else. Better than me. She would want you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You have to try. For your mom, for Y/n. For Lily.”

Eren’s sobs slowly subsided, his breathing steadying as he clung to his father’s embrace.

“If you want to be in their life, you have to try and fix it. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.”

It was true. Eren knew it. If he couldn’t get himself together, he should just leave. Like a coward, he should just retreat to his own little world of regret and guilt and just live there forever.

But that wasn’t Eren, not truly. That wasn’t the man Carla raised.

He stayed there for a while, sitting in front of his mother’s grave, his father sitting beside him. His tears slowly dried up, and after a while, he felt peace come over him. For the first time in a long time, he felt calm. The wind caressed his face, and he closed his eyes, imagining it was his mother’s hands instead. Imagined this was her spirit, whispering reassurance to him.

In the stillness of the moment, Eren realized that he had a choice. He could allow himself to be consumed by his mistakes or he could gather the fragments of his shattered life and piece them back together. He knew it was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do. And there, in that precise moment, he decided he would do it. He owed it to his mother, father, his daughter, to you. To himself.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. Looked up at the sky. He finally understood why people found solace in cemeteries. This wasn’t just a place of sorrows and loss. It was also that of healing.. and reflection.

…..

It was 8:30 am and you were late. Scratch that, you were more than late.

You and Lily were supposed to leave at 8:00am sharp for a fun-filled morning of grabbing coffee and hot chocolate before heading out to sign her up for school activities. The first day of school was just around the corner, and time was slipping away faster than you anticipated.

You were so tired yesterday from work and running errands, that after tucking Lily in, you fell asleep on your coach, still fully dressed. It was moments like these when you wished you lived with someone who could help you a little, but the phrase “it is what it is” had already been embedded into your brain long ago.

After waking your bundle of joy up, you managed to prepare a cute little outfit for her in record time, then dashed straight to the shower. Being a single mom was something you were quite good at, but sometimes, it did take a bit of a toll on you. Nevertheless, you were comfortable with the life you’d acquired for the both of you. It was your own little world, and you’d never trade it for anything.

After emerging from the bathroom, you swiftly moved through the house, trying to get to your bedroom, when you saw Lily standing in front of the door, which was slightly open. She was talking to someone. You quickly approached her.

“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“

Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Eren standing in front of your doorstep. Your eyes locked, and a flow of emotions ran through you. Why was he here now? What could he possibly want? You thought he was here for only a few days, but the unexpectedness of his presence left you feeling cautious.

“Hey.” He spoke first.

You continued to look at him until you were reminded of Lily’s presence. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go pour some cereal, hm? Mommy will be just a minute.”

“Okay, momma! See you, Eren!” She waved at him, and you watched him reciprocate.

“Bye, Lily.” He said softly, a faint smile gracing her lips as he watched her walk away.

Once again, it was just the two of you. Looking back at each other, with so many unsaid things hanging in the air.

“Why are you here?” You asked, voice guarded, your arms closed tightly around yourself.

He cleared his throat, visibly nervous, “I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” Before you could protest, he raised his hand in the air in a pleading gesture. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”

You took a deep breath. This couldn’t be happening. It shouldn’t be happening.

And still.. looking at him, you saw genuineness. Maybe even regret. A war commenced inside you, one between the hurt he had caused you and the helplessness in his eyes. He didn’t deserve talking, even looking at you, but deep inside, you knew you’d made your mind. There was a part of you that felt he deserved to at least be listened to.

“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”

Biting the inner part of your lip, you readjusted your bath robe, trying to cover yourself up more. As if trying to cover yourself from him, and how vulnerable his presence made you feel.

“Fine.” You spoke with finality, watching his emeralds widen with surprise, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”

“Yeah, sure, of course.” He looked like he was trying to contain his elation, but his smile gave it all away. “Thank you.”

You nodded awkwardly. His smile was.. still as distracting as it was 7 years ago. “Okay, then. We have to get going, so..”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Bye.”

Before he could respond, you’d closed the door, resting your back against it. You took the palm of your hand and pressed it against your chest, feeling your racing heartbeat. A thousand voices seemed to echo in your mind, each one representing a different emotion and conflicting thought. Fear and doubt battled for dominance, leaving you extremely overwhelmed.

But there was something else that you couldn’t hide from yourself. A flicker of.. no, you couldn’t call it faith. Even though there was a tiny voice that whispered that maybe, just maybe there was a small piece of the person you once knew left inside him. Even though his face showed his guilt. You couldn’t call it faith.

Not yet.

…..

A/N: …. I know I’m so late lmao I’m sorryyy. Half of this got deleted twice because of my stupid computer so I’m blaming the delay on that. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. I really put my heart into it. Next one will be up sooner, this time for real. Enjoyyy🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Ps: If you want to be added to the tag list, tell me in the comments below. Comments and rebloggs will be deeply appreciated.❤️

Tag list: @vlsquuu @love-is-sick @shima707 @6sakusa @p4lli @intimacywithcelestine @docufanfic @jaegersdiary @xcelestina @fvckingeetar @theforest @roronoazorosbxtchh @hannaburnout @camilo-uwu @ec3lipsy @littlemochi @erensonly @f4irycafe @idktbhloley @fairyvibez @desthevirgo

#eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren

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velteris · 2 years ago

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Frieren timeline

The only timeline available on the wiki isn’t super fleshed out with exact dates and counting backwards etc. So I decided to make my own.

Notes:

1. Spoilers for up to manga ch119 (the most recent at this time)

2. Even if it’s likely just a rough measure (“three hundred years ago”), I’m gonna assume when doing my math that it was exactly 300 years, because otherwise I can’t do most of the math

3. I skip most events that don’t have an exact year, eg Fern and Stark respective being taken in by Heiter and Eisen. I do make some estimates (eg Sein’s birthday, we only know he’s in mid-30s so he can’t have been born any further back than year xx).

4. Standardised year 0 as the year the demon king was defeated

5. Realised about 2/3rds through that I could be writing down chapter citations but at that point it was too late lol sorry

behold!

-3,000: Earliest mentioned date, by Frieren re: dwarf beliefs; most people believed the dead turn to dust, so pre-Goddess. Unclear when Goddess actually starts appearing.

[Emperor Boshaft alive, so is Milliarde, Frieren in village]

-1,000: Frieren becomes Flamme’s apprentice

-950: Flamme passes away*

-510: the last time Frieren fought a demon (quite likely Macht, as in year 80 she says 600 years ago, which would be -520. What’s a decade here and there?)

-420: Frieren restores her golden arm

-422: Aura became one of the seven sages of destruction

-322: the last time Frieren saw another elf, Grandfather Voll starts to protect village

-222: the last time Kraft saw another elf

-120: Fass finds Emperor Boshaft’s alcohol, Gehn starts working on his village’s bridge

-26: Himmel is born

-11?: Hero of the South visits Frieren and dies a year later; tells her she’ll meet Himmel soon**

-10: Hero Party sets out from capital

[Hero Party kills Immortal Bose and pushes back Aura sometime during this period]

-3: Goddess arc (Himmel is 23), Hero Party seals Qual***

0: Demon King defeated, Era Meteors, Macht starts to serve^

2: Denken born

20: Macht is braceleted

28: Continental Magic Association started (at latest), Lernen was first first-class mage

29: Denken came to Auberst with his wife (who died when he was in his twenties); Denken’s wife presumably passed away very soon after

30: last sighting of a Darkness Dragon (per random apothecary); Weis turned to gold and sealed

39: Earliest possible Sein birthday (he would be 40); humanity learns to fly

45: Wirbel born

50: 2nd Era Meteors; Himmel passes away; Aura reappears, demon activity increases in north and baby Wirbel makes promise

61: Stark is born earlier in the year after winter; Fern is born some time after harvest festival but before the last three months of the year

68: Graf Granat’s son dies in war against Aura

69: Sein’s friend Gorilla left

70: Frieren and Fern meet

74: Heiter collapses

75: Stark runs away from Eisen

76: Heiter passes away; Frieren and Fern set out on their journey

76.5: half a year spent looking for blue moonweed

77: Fern turns 16 (after spring, latest autumn)

78: 3+ Months spent at seaside town cleaning beach

79: wintered with Kraft, Stark’s 18th bday (after spring), meet Sein around harvest festival (time is a bit funky since it gets cold and then warm after this?)^^

80: El Dorado arc

81: first chapter after El Dorado. As of ch119, we are here, 31 years after Hero Himmel’s death!

and in the future…

97: Tod’s “curse” will engulf the star?

100: Next meteor shower. Fern and Stark would be 39.

149: Frieren promised to be back at hero’s sword village by this time

1079: Frieren may return to the Continental Mage Association :)

*Assuming she died soon after Frieren’s last shown convo with her where she said “it’s only been 50 years”

**Unclear just when was the Frieren/Hero of the South meeting, so it could technically be anywhere before, but -11 is the most recent it could be

***Frieren says it’s been 80 years in year 77. If she’s being precise then this is the date—but I have doubts as Qual was sealed in the Central Lands, and Hero Party should be well into the Northern Plateau near the goddess monument by this point.

^Technically I think Macht starts to serve a leetle bit before the demon king is defeated, but no time frame given for how long it took Macht and Glück to have those convos

^^To be more precise: they start the year’s winter with Kraft. Then it gets warm, and Stark’s birthday happens. Harvest festivals are usually in autumn, which is when they meet Sein, and then it gets cold enough for the gang to wear their winter gear again, and they spend a winter (or a cold snap?) with Sein. When they get to Auberst they spend an additional two months training with Fern while waiting for the exam to start. But when they finally leave Auberst in ch61, and aren’t wearing their winter clothes anymore, it’s still listed as 29 years post-Himmel death??? There’s a mention of it being because they’re in the volcanic belt… But seriously, year 79 goes on and on. I honestly think the authors just forgot to find a good spot to switch that over lol

#frieren #sousou no frieren #behold my work #and merry christmas lol

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changingplumbob · 1 year ago

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New Goth: Chapter 4, Part 11

We go to high school and see what impression Ariadne makes.

I have been dying to share this! Let's gossip about my sims! How do we see her getting on with the other played teens long term? Tell me, tell me, tell me!

The next day starts and Ariadne tries to mentally prepare herself for a new high school.

Milton: Are you nervous

Ariadne: A little, but I’m not going to let the other kids know that

James: You’ll do fine. Just remember, no matter what happens, you’ll still have us here after school

Ariadne: Thanks James. Getting to know new people can be hard for me

Milton: Me to. I normally try to geek out with them

Ariadne: Unfortunately I’m not a geek

James: But you have interests. Don’t be afraid to share them, how else will you learn who might get along with you?

Big hugs from everyone, even Alexander who manages to leave the computer, then Ariadne is off!

It’s a fine autumn day and many of the teens are making use of the roller rink. Ariadne however has other tasks that need attention.

Mr A: I’m Mr Amarynth, welcome to- Sterling!

Ariadne: Huh? Sorry I was just taking a commemorative selfie

Mr A: I see you will not be joining our academic success ranks, pity

Ariadne: Oh actually I do know a bunch of stuff. I got good grades at my last school and I did all the pre homework you assigned. I’m excited to be here

Mr Amarynth keeps his face in a look of disdain while Ariadne tries awkwardly to smile. When he doesn’t continue the conversation she figures she should take the initiative.

Ariadne: Is there anything I need to do before class

Mr A: Ms Hensley will be taking your class today, she should be in the main building. See my assistant on the way there and they’ll assign you a locker

The principal’s assistant gave the worlds vaguest directions but Ariadne can find the main building. Now what? Luckily a helpful Onyx swings by.

Onyx: Excuse me, you look lost. Need any help?

Ariadne: Yes I need to find the lockers and a Ms Hensley

Onyx rolls their eyes and beckons Ariadne to follow them, humming to themselves.

Onyx: Ms Hensley can be tough, I try to take no notice. My best mate Carson gets tense just seeing her though. Ah, here are the lockers. If they don’t have stickers it’s safe to assume they’re not taken

Ariadne: Thank you…

Onyx: Oh I’m Onyx

Ariadne: Ariadne, thanks for you help

Onyx: No bother. Ms Hensley will probably be in the library at this time. Good luck

Sure enough around the corner in the library is Ms Hensley.

Ariadne: Hi, are you Ms Hensley? Mr Amarynth said you’re going to be my teacher

Ms H: Normally yes, but it’s exams today

Ariadne: Exams? On my first day

Ms H: *sighs* teenagers. Not everything is about you, I have other students to tend as well. If you want to do well you’d best revise

So Ariadne has a seat and does her best to look over her notes from her preparation work. Would have been helpful for Ms H to have said what subjects the exams are for. When the bell rings Ms H introduces her to Briana who is tasked with taking her to class.

Ariadne: Hi! Do you like the outdoors? I love the outdoors

Briana: Yeah… inside is great

In her head Ariadne can hear the stereotypical wah-wah-wah noises.

Math is first, not Ariadne’s favourite. But James did help her with the pie charts so she manages to follow the questions. Between papers she tries introducing herself to people around her.

Ariadne: Hi there, I’m new

Anya: I noticed

Ariadne: Do you like fishing? I love fishing

Anya: I’ll fish in Stardew Valley

Ariadne: Where is that? Is it near Del Sol valley?

Anya laughs to herself and Ariadne can’t help feeling the girl seems immature. Many more students in the high school sea though. It’s hard to tell from where she’s sitting but she does feel a pair of eyes on her from time to time. She can’t sense any ghosts around so maybe it’s a classmate?

In the lunch line Ariadne has a quick chat with Scarlett who seems interested at the idea of coloured auras. Ariadne asks if she can sit with her at lunch but the teen has an art project to do. Scarlett does tell her to friend her on social bunny though. Nothing for it, Ariadne will have to sit down with strangers.

Ariadne: Hi everyone. I’ve met some of you but I’m Ariadne. I’ve just started. I live in Willow Creek with my dads Mr and Mr Goth

Carson: James Goth?

She turns to look at the brunette who responded. He seems to be squinting as if he needs glasses but he has a kind face.

Ariadne: Yes that is one of my dad’s first names

Carson: Sorry we’ve not met before. I’m Carson. My dad Harvey is in a fishing group with James. He says good things

Ariadne: Oh are you in the fishing group? J- my dad has been asking me to join

Carson: I love the outdoors but fish gross me out a bit

Ariadne: We could always watch them fishing and pick flowers instead

Carson: *laughs* sounds good. I’ll see you round then, I need to study

He leaves. Ariadne feels happy to have found someone like her. And he obviously knows she’s in the process of being adopted and didn’t out her to everyone. That’s nice. He's pretty cute to.

Ariadne pops over to Onyx to thank them again when another teen walks by. A teen with a dark aura.

Artemisia: Who are you

Ariadne: Uh… I’m-

Artemisia: *tuts* Not very bright are you

Onyx: Lay off, she’s new, her name’s Ariadne

Artemisia: Whatever your name is, you’re in my seat. Go bother someone else with your bad dye job

Sensing rising hostilities Ariadne decides to go sit by another boy from her class.

Roger: Met Artemisia then?

Ariadne: That’s her name?

Roger: Yeah. She’s a boar. Not to say that I make snap judgements or anything. She's popular but I don't see the appeal

Ariadne: I was getting a bad vibe from her. She doesn’t seem very generous

Roger: *sighs* forget her. Are you generous then?

Sensing the opportunity to flirt and distract herself Ariadne turns to face Roger properly.

Ariadne: I can be, with the right incentive. What about you

Roger: That would be telling. I’m happy to go over what our next exam is if you’d like, as a taste of my generosity

Ariadne: *giggles* I wouldn’t like, I’d love

Roger helps Ariadne out right up until the bell rings. Ariadne heads to class and grabs a seat by the window. At least she can be close to nature in this room.

Artemisia: Hi

Ariadne pulls her attention away from the window to see Artemisia sitting down beside her and she feels her stomach turn.

Ariadne: Hi. Look, I’m sorry about being in your seat before but that really was no reason to make fun of my hair

Artemisia: *shrugs* I make fun of everyone, it’s entertaining

Ariadne: Well in future, don’t make fun of me. My forgiveness only goes so far

Artemisia: *rolls eyes* Sure your ladyship. My aim in life is to stay in your good graces

Ariadne scowls while Artemisia giggles to herself and Ms Hensley hand out their papers. Ariadne does her best to fill out the paper but can’t shake the feeling that Artemisia is reading all her answers. At least she doesn’t know if her own answers are right so maybe that’ll trip up the girl. At last the bell rings and it’s time to pack up.

Artemisia: Bye dye job *winks*

Ariadne watches her go feeling flustered. Mean girls have no business being pretty and playing with people like toys. At the back of the room Roger is focused on his phone so she decides to hang back.

Ariadne: Hey you. Thanks for the help, I think I got a few of those right, even with Artemisia looking at my work

Roger: Yeah she totally was. It was clear from back here, I don’t know how Ms H missed it

Scarlett: We can afford to cut Ms H some slack. I heard her tell Mrs T she thinks the art room is haunted, she looked freaked

Ariadne: Is it actually haunted? Ghosts fascinate me

Scarlett: I think it’s just haunted by me really but you never know

The three chat about things going bump in the night and following some commemorative photos Ariadne invites them around to visit after dinner.

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#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #simblr #my sims #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #R0905 #MiltonGoth #JamesGoth #AriadneSterlingFromBakersimmer #OnyxPancakes #CarsonFoster #ArtemisiaYork

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zialltops · 2 years ago

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East Side Of Sorrow

Word Count: 76,093

Chapters: 16/22

Rating: Explicit

Warnings/tags: Minor underage, no piv till 18, Graphic Descriptions of Violence, loss of virginity, older man/younger woman, reader is 17-18, Joel is 49-50, asphyxiation, voyeurism, face slapping, knife play, mask wearing, somnophilia, breeding kink, slow burn, murder mystery

Summary: It started at one of two points when you were sixteen, but for the life of you, you cant recall which came first. All you know, is a defining moment led you to the stark realization that you didn’t like the boys you sat beside in math class, weren’t interested in the seniors on the football field under Friday night lights—you didn’t want to dance with a boy at your high school prom, or have your first kiss under the bleachers.

You wanted a man.

Chapter List & Links

1. Summertime’s Close

2. Hey Driver

3. Fear & Fridays

4. Spotless

5. Ticking

6. Tourniquet

7. Smaller Acts

8. Jakes Piano - Long Island

9. Jakes Piano - Long Island (Part 2)

10. Tradesman

11. Nine Ball

12. Deep Satin

13. Sarah’s Place

14. Darling

15. The Outskirts

16. The Good I'll Do

✨spotify link here✨

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #the last of us #archive of our own #joel the last of us #east side of sorrow #joel tlou #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #tlou

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avalunaaa · 7 hours ago

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Monday, 11:47 pm

Good Evening my darlings! Girlies, I didn't go to school today because i was very exhausted. The whole week was very hectic. Classes. tests and mocks and just yeah. But the weekend was amazing and I had a lot of fun. I socialised and also gave an outside mock. I didn't score as much as i had expected but its fine. Today I completed 2 of my projects which i will submit tomorrow and I will start a new project this week which is due next week so i have this whole week to complete. But what i am planning is I will complete mostly everything before the next month which is in 3 days so that i can give a whole month to rigorous entrance exam preparation. I need to up my scores from now (65-70) to my desire results for the month (95-100). It will be pretty hard but I am willing to work hard for it. I have also 98% completed making the vogue birthday magazine for my friend. ITS GOING PRETTY WELL, I AM SO EXCITED FOR IT. So the next things I have to complete before the end of the month are: 1. Weekly magazines of May, June and July. I have already completed most of June magz. 2. business studies chapter- marketing. It'll mostly take me 3 days, 2 hours each because I write notes as well. 3. IED till unit 4. 4. Math ch1. 5. June and may monthly magazines. So yeah this week is going to be hectic as well. but I'll try my best as usually.

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undermine-the-instinct · 2 months ago

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I am a little curious, how has your planning process/thought process been with the multiple fic series while balancing college?

Well i typically try to focus on one or two projects at a time, with like, 70% of my focus on the priority project! Currently im focusing on my Sesshoumaru fic, and then the Vi fic im cooking up. On the backburner i got my Bard!reader series, and maybe then my prince Alhaitham AU.

As a political science major, i already have my common core credits like math and literature, so my major course credits just have me do a LOOOTTT of reading. Aristotle, Kant, Noddings, Plato, Smidtt yada yada. This semester just ended for me, but before then i had some time in between, like-- A morning class ending at 11 and my second class starting at 4, so i had time to go to study hall or just brainstorm for my writing. I try to write at minimum 200 words a day, even if it just feels like verbal garbage! Write!!!

But usually, when writing a multi chap fic, i like to throw my ideas on the wall per se, and just word vomit in a google doc. Especially when im writing a very specific chapter. I mean, look how many doc i have for when i was writng chp3 of my Sessh fic:

Or this one form that Yingxing fic i cant quite get down. Each one of my brainstorm docs has multiple tabs with their own subsections and headings:

{this is kinda old mind you}

So basically i throw everything i can at the wall, get a general idea, and then whittle it down or embellish where I need to to get the story i want. I carve little bits of time out, and i always try to write something. And now...! i have around two weeks before i head to take my summer term upstate! I got an oppurtunity to study at a university for free tuition and board so im pretty hyped about that. Its only two lalsses too, so i wont be as bogged down and ill still have time to write

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yours-nai · 3 months ago

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4/11/25 - day 1

we're sooo back. last time i posted, i was in my senior year of high school. now I'm in my second semester of college!!!! so crazy!! unexpectedly, i became a chemical engineering major. a lot happened. i nearly failed 2 classes last semester. i'm struggling a little but honestly, i find the struggle fun! i'm trying to get back into blogging my days of productivity, since its such a cute and fun way to keep track of my progress. and i really need the motivation right now... anyways! tasks for today ʚ♡ɞ

CHEM: Chapter 14.4 Notes

MATH: Finish Section 11.6 Homework

PHYS: Work on Chapter 10 Homework

CHEM: Work on Chapter 14 Homework

BIOL: Study Chapter 19

BIOL: Create Chapter 33 Anki Set :(

BIOL: Study Chapter 29 :(

yours, nai ♡

#study motivation #studyblr #100 days of productivity #motivation #study #university #── yours nai ♡#biology #stem #engineering

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itzsephig5 · 4 months ago

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1 (Starlight)

My Masterlist

This story on Wattpad

Intro 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Updated Character Info 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Final Character Info

Important info for this chapter:

A phone call is written like this

Y/n's POV:

I sat up on my bed in my dorm room. I rubbed my eyes as I looked around the room. I was exhausted because I had spent most of the night in the campus lab working on a project. I rubbed my eyes before I heard my phone ringing. I let out a groan before looking at my phone and seeing that Wanda was calling me. I answered the phone and put it on speaker. "What do you want?" I grumbled. "Wow. You sound amazing." Wanda tells me. I rolled my eyes. "Did you just wake up or something?" Wanda questioned. "As a matter of fact, I did just wake up." I say. I hear her laugh over the phone. "Wow your sleep schedule sucks." She commented. "I was in the lab most of the night. I had a project to work on." I responded. "That must suck." Wanda says. I just sighed. "What do you want and why are you calling me?" I finally asked. "Oh right." Wanda says. "Did you want to meet me at the cafe? I don't have any missions or anything and I haven't seen you in person in like a month." She asked me. I think about it for a moment. "Sure. I don't really have to do my project today because I basically finished it last night. What time are we going to meet?" I say. "An hour? I have to see if Happy will drive me." Wanda says. "Yeah, in an hour works." I say. "Okay I'll see you in an hour. I love you." She tells me. "I love you too." I say before hanging up my phone.

I finally got off the bed before going to the closet and picking an outfit out for the day. When I finally finished getting ready, I noticed it was around the time that I need to get to the bus stop so I could make it to the cafe in time. I grabbed my bag before walking to the bus stop and getting on the bus. About five minutes later, I made it to the cafe. I walked into the cafe and saw that Wanda was sitting in the corner, away from everyone else, which was understandable. I walked over to where she was sitting at the table before I sat across from her. "Hey, you made it." Wanda says. I nodded my head before I noticed the coffee that was in front of me. "You didn't have to buy me the coffee." I say before taking a sip from it. "Yeah, yeah. Just keep drinking it." She says. I rolled my eyes at that. "How have you been doing? Busy with classes?" Wanda asked me. I nodded my head. "Engineering is completely different from journalism." I commented. "Well, no shit." Wanda responds. I just took another sip of my coffee. "But to be fair, you are like super smart. I mean, you graduated high school at 14, graduated NYU for the first time with a journalism degree at 18 and now you're already a sophomore at NYU for engineering at 21. That's actually insane." Wanda says. I just shrugged. "It's not that hard." I say. Wanda scoffed at that. "Bullshit. I can't even do complex math at all, let alone as quickly as you do. It's crazy." She tells me. "I'm just really good at math." I say. "Uh huh. And what's your IQ again?" Wanda asked. I let out a huff knowing she had me there. "175." I mumbled. "Exactly." She responds. We both sat and caught up with each other. "Why don't you come with me back to the compound. I want to keep hanging out with you, and there are not enough women in that place. It's too much testosterone." Wanda says. I just laughed at the last comment. "I don't know. I think I would feel awkward around everyone." I say. I wasn't completely lying, I would feel awkward, but I had other reasons that I didn't want to go there. "Oh, come on. Please!" Wanda begs. "Everyone is so nice, and I think they would really like you." She adds. I just sighed. "Okay fine, I'll come." I tell her. "Yay!" Wanda says excitedly. I finished my coffee as Wanda finished her drink. "Come on. Happy is waiting in the parking lot for me, and I'm sure he'll be okay driving you as well." Wanda says as she stood up and dragged me to the car. I noticed that it was a fancy car, but I wasn't sure why I was shocked. "Hey Happy!" Wanda says as she gets into the car making sure I also got in. "Who's your friend?" Happy asked her. "Oh, this is Y/n! We've been friends for a while now." She explained. I just waved at the guy. "Well, it's nice to meet you." The man said. I nodded. "You too." I say quietly. I noticed that Happy was looking at me through the rearview mirror, like he was trying to figure me out. "Are you guys ready to go?" He asked us. "Yeah, let's go."

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skzhocomments · 1 year ago

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In the Dark - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter 12 - Somewhere I belong

General masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

---

Chapter 12 - Somewhere I belong

chapter word count: ~4.4k words

~Jieun’s POV~

“Okay, kids! That’s all for today. See you tomorrow!” I waved and opened the door of the classroom, watching as parents came and picked up their children.

Just as usual, Nari and I were the last in the room, and I helped her take out some of her books so we could do her homework together until 4 PM, when I would take her to her art classes.

My grandmother’s funeral was two weeks ago, and the days since have brushed over me with such force, I felt like a small boat broken apart by large swells. I was still feeling strange about everything, and wasn’t sure how to keep going further, as there was no longer any final goal for me to reach, anything at stake.

I only moved to this city to take my grandmother to the best hospital in the country, but now that she was gone, what need was there for me to stay here?

I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t have any friends, my grandmother was gone.

Why would I stay here?

My eyes absent-mindedly turned to Nari, and I watched her solve her math problems in concentration. The furrow of her brows was really cute, and her resemblance to Minho was uncanny.

I found myself smiling at the thought of the father-daughter duo, and then I felt a pang in my heart, as Minho and I still haven’t addressed the whole In the Dark fiasco. We haven’t spent much alone time together after the funeral, and it felt unnatural to talk about it.

I wasn’t even sure how to broach the subject anyway.

Hey, Minho, I’m a whore! Surprise!

That surely wouldn’t work.

Instead of thinking about it any further, I started helping Nari with the more difficult exercises, and the hours passed by quickly.

“Okay, Nari, it’s time to go to your art classes.” I smiled and stood up, helping her put everything back in her pink backpack.

As if on cue, the door opened just as I said this, and Minho came in the classroom.

“Daddy!” Nari shot up and ran to her father’s arms, and my eyes widened.

“Hi, baby.” He kissed her head. “You ready to go?”

“Are you taking me to art today?!” She asked, her eyes full of surprise.

“Yes, Miss Park and I will take you to your art classes together today.” He replied, and I looked at him confused.

Nari returned to her backpack to finish packing as Minho came towards me.

“I was hoping you’d be free to talk a bit afterwards?”

“Sure.” I nodded, but I felt my chest tighten.

“So…” Minho smiled, looking a bit uncomfortable, and I was feeling just as restless.

He took me to a café, so I decided to focus on my coffee cup for the time being, feeling the impending doom his next words would most certainly bring.

“I really wanted to talk to you, but it’s been a bit chaotic with everything going on…” He continued.

“Yeah…”

“And you’ve also avoided my texts and calls like the plague.”

“I… uhm… I didn’t…” I shifted in my seat, unsure of what to say to excuse myself.

He was right, I’ve been avoiding all his attempts of reaching out, simply because I didn’t know how to act around him anymore. I only answered if there was something at stake concerning Nari, but that was pretty much it.

“It’s okay, Jieun. I know you’re probably feeling very awkward…”

“Aren’t you?”

“Not necessarily. You see… I had my doubts about you being Flame for a while. I just wasn’t certain.”

“I also thought you might be Charisma, but it felt like such an absurd thought, that I discarded it pretty much immediately.” I confessed.

“Absurd? How so?”

“Well, uhm… yeah, you’re right. This is really awkward.” I chuckled nervously, but Minho didn’t seem to pick up what I meant from my gestures alone. “I mean, look at you, Minho. You… you have it all. The personality, the looks, the money. You could be with anyone you wanted. Why would you hire a prostitute?”

“Because… I’ve been really scared of any intimacy after my wife passed. I guess I wasn’t ready for any serious relationships. When I found out about this site… I thought it might be good to try something new for a change.”

“Oh.”

“What about you, Jieun? Why were you on there?”

“I needed money for my grandmother’s bills and didn’t know how else to get it. It’s as simple as that. I’m feeling so ashamed right now. You must think I have no morals-”

“Hey.” He placed his hand on top of mine. “I don’t think anything like that about you. In fact, I’m really glad I found out, and that it was you. There’s nothing to feel ashamed about, yeah?”

“Minho, I can’t even look you in the eyes knowing that if you wouldn’t have been my consistent client I would’ve just sold myself to any other man who would’ve paid. It’s so hard to not feel ashamed, guilty even. And you’re glad you found out and that it was me?!”

“Yes. I’m glad because I was also feeling guilty for having feelings for you, Nari’s teacher, and wanting to pursue a relationship with you, while thinking about Flame. So, yes, Jieun, I’m really glad Flame was you the whole time, and it makes so much sense, too.”

“How does it make any sense?”

“Because I’ve always known what I want, or rather, who I want. But this time… damn, the whole situation was messing with my head, because I wanted you both. I’ve fallen for you twice. I started liking you, Flame, from your gestures alone. Remember that time you ‘kissed me’ with your hand on top of my lips? Who does that to show affection while respecting that one request I had, Jieun?”

“I just… it felt right, in that moment.” I averted my gaze.

“So, you also felt it. It wasn’t simply the fact that we were having sex, it was… more.”

“I also… felt confused. I liked Charisma a lot, I was even glad he wanted to keep seeing me because I enjoyed spending time with him. And then we started spending more time together, and I realised I also like you, Minho. I liked spending time with you and Nari, I liked us drinking together, and when you kissed me that night… I wanted to take it further so bad, but… it felt wrong, considering I was selling myself, you know?”

“I see…”

“That’s why I don’t even know what to say to you now. Because if Charisma stopped seeing me, and my grandma would’ve still been alive, I would’ve… I would’ve continued selling myself... to someone else, that wouldn't have been you.”

“That a hypothetical scenario, Jieun.”

“Even so.”

“I would’ve still understood, if you’d told me. Sex for money and sex for love are different things, so how could I be upset that you were a prostitute?”

A prostitute.

It stung.

“Are they that different, though? Because it sure as hell didn’t feel any different when it was Charisma.”

To that, it seemed I shut Minho down for a few moments. Still, he recovered quickly and kept persisting, going back to one of his previous points.

“If we would’ve talked-”

“Then what?” I cut him off. “You’re being too idealistic, Minho.”

“I could’ve still paid you, or-” He started, but stopped as soon as I threw him a look. “Ok, that was a bad thing to say.”

He chuckled awkwardly, and I also laughed briefly, and the air between us shifted from unbearably uncomfortable and suffocating to a bit more easy to breathe.

“The thing is, I really like you, Jieun, and I want to take us further and to be honest about our feelings. I don’t care that you were Flame, and if you also don’t mind that I was Charisma, then what is holding us back?”

His words made my eyes instantly turn back to my now empty coffee cup. I should’ve been happy hearing this, perhaps, but for some reason, his words were registering in a wrong way in my head, and dread was settling down in my stomach.

I wanted to be with Minho, that much I knew, but somehow, it felt as complicated as trying to force the stars to align. But aren’t stars just old, dead lights?

What is left of us, then?

What if what I wanted from Minho was simply out of reach, even if it seemed closer than ever? After all, I always had the tendency to reach for the unreachable, and Minho felt like he was just that.

He was out of my reach, even if he was sitting right in front of me, confessing some… fleeting feelings.

What if he’d change his mind once he fully processed that I’ve never been that great woman he made me out to be in his head?

I was just a whore. We were doomed from the beginning.

How could I even begin to accept his words, with my heart feeling this deep agony?

What was there even left to say to him about this whole train wreck we found ourselves in?

I was rummaging through my head like I would for something in my bag, but with such a mess inside, it was too hard to find anything.

It was better to keep silent.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now…” He started after a while, and I realised how much time I’ve been deep in thought for, which forced an apologetic smile on my face. I couldn't say anything after all. I couldn't... I couldn't accept his feelings, not with the ache in my heart and this unbearable fog in my brain.

I couldn't.

“I don’t know where to go from here, Minho. Me, you… us?” I chuckled bitterly. “It’s… it’s too complicated. Too many things happened at once and I think I haven’t fully processed anything. I’m sorry, but I… I need some time to put my thoughts in order.” I said, and every word burned my tongue, but it was true.

My feelings were too complicated to navigate now, and I needed more time to process it all, to think about whether I should stay here or go back to my hometown and friends. Whether I should keep living here and lean on Minho and maybe become the mother Nari’s never had or return to my previous life and try to forget that this past year has even happened.

“I understand.” Minho replied in a kind tone and placed his hand on top of mine, over the table. “You should just focus for yourself on the time being, Jieun. Everything else can wait.”

It was hard getting out of the slump I fell in.

Days blurred into each other, grey, never changing.

Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat.

Day after day, week after week, this mindless routine was the only thing that helped keep my life in a somewhat order.

The first few weeks were the hardest. As my grandmother’s death began settling in, so did all the suffocating feelings I’ve been repressing. It was hard to focus on anything once the shock wore off, because the heartbreak was too painful, and the realisation that my grandma would never call my name again hit me like a truck.

When I was at home, I would try to focus on reading or on watching a show just to get my mind off things, but I would keep spacing out instead. I would try cleaning, only to end up in bed one hour later, realising I don’t have enough energy to at least stand up. I'd go to the bathroom for a quick shower, only to realise it's been two hours and the water ran cold.

Every action I did was performed with thin detachment, as I wasn’t really feeling like a person.

It was quite ironic, really. Having been independent for so long, I was used to being on my own. This time, however, it felt lonelier than ever. It felt isolating and painful, and remembering how I got to this point felt like getting punched in the gut over and over again.

I missed my grandmother. Terribly. And this thought kept recurring, making me break down and sob, crying my heart out until no more tears would fall. But despite of this, time kept moving on, giving me no chance whatsoever to collect myself.

They say time heals, but it somehow didn't lessen the suffocating pain in my chest.

As the weeks passed, however, I got better at managing these episodes.

On my own, I learnt how to calm myself down, how to stop crying and how to accept the harsh reality. It took a long time to do so.

My destructive pattern of isolating myself from others came in full force though, and a lot of things around me changed. For instance, I stopped reaching out to the friends I still had left in my hometown, and I stopped replying to Minho.

I couldn't. I couldn't speak to anyone. It hurt too much to articulate what I was feeling, and being on my own felt like the safest option.

My former friends all stopped trying, eventually.

Falling into a pointless routine felt like the only way I could protect myself, keep myself from becoming insane. I tried to focus all my energy into teaching my class, coming up with new lesson plans and grading papers, because thinking about anything else made my head hurt.

This worked for a while, but the loneliness started eating away at me slowly. I still wasn’t sure of what to do but knowing that everyone else had their own lives while I was stuck on my trauma felt even more lonely and isolating. It was like trying to speak but having an index finger against my mouth.

I realised slowly that this isolation was not beneficial to me at all. It was hurtful not only to myself, but also to those people I’ve been keeping at arm’s length. Still, it didn't feel right trying to get back in touch with my friends. There was too much distance between us now, too many unspoken words.

I considered once again it might be better to keep staying on my own, but my anxiety got the best of me, and then, one evening, when it all got too overwhelming, I knew I had to do something about it. I needed to stop thinking for once, to stop making excuses or ponder on what to say or how to apologise for being so detached. I just picked up my phone, texting the one person who hasn’t stopped trying even though I’ve been distant.

The moment I sent him the message, he called. Instantly.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” I replied sheepishly. I felt bad.

I haven’t answered him much lately, and despite the pointless conversations about the weather (or such) we had while he dropped Nari off and picked her up from school, we haven’t really talked... at all.

Because of me.

“Are you feeling any better? I was waiting for your text, you know.” He chuckled slightly.

“Yeah…” I replied, but quickly shook my head, even if he wasn’t able to see me. “… no. Sorry.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Should I come over or come pick you up?”

“What about Nari?”

“Sleepover at Jiho.”

“Okay.”

“Great. I’ll be there in 15.”

Once we ended the call, I started looking around my apartment, noticing how messy everything was. Lots of items were misplaced, there were clothes on the floor, unwashed coffee mugs, and it was generally a mess.

I started picking up a few things before realising I should probably take a quick shower and change from my pyjamas, because I haven’t changed since yesterday afternoon when I got back from school, so I gave up on cleaning the apartment and cleaned myself instead.

When I was out of the shower, Minho was already at my door, and the apartment was still a mess. Only the living room was somehow presentable.

I opened the door slowly, peeking from the inside at the man who, despite dressed casually, looked like a million bucks.

“Hi.” I smiled, pondering on whether I should invite him in or not.

Minho smiled at me expectedly.

“Do you… uhm… want to come in?”

“If you’ll have me?” He chuckled softly. The situation was once again absurd. I told him to come over, and now I was reluctant to let him in simply because I had a messy apartment.

“I didn’t clean up…” I smiled apologetically and moved away from the door, and Minho followed me in with a chuckle.

“This is you not cleaning up? You can’t be serious, Jieun.” He looked around and then threw me a look.

“It’s dirty.”

“A few things are misplaced, yeah, but it’s definitely not dirty.” He laughed and patted my head once, as if I was a child.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I grabbed his arm as I saw him bend down to rearrange my shoes.

“Helping out.”

“No.”

“No?” He laughed again, then pointed to my little shoe rack in the corner of the hallway. “It’s gonna take two seconds to put these there.”

“Still.” I shook his hand a bit and found myself pouting, before quickly correcting my expression.

“Can you make me a tea while I put these there?”

“Okay…” I reluctantly agreed and let him be and went into the kitchen. I picked up some dried mint and made tea, and then took the two mugs to the living room, where Minho already made himself at home on my sofa.

“Thanks.” He smiled, picking up the mug I handed him.

I sat down as well and looked into my teacup, examining the liquid as my heart was doing rounds in my chest. I wanted to apologise for basically disappearing, and I wanted to tell him everything that was on my chest, all the thoughts that didn’t let me sleep for the past weeks.

But I didn’t know how to begin, or where.

“Long time no see.” He started for me, placing a soothing hand on my back and making me look at him. I saw him putting his mug on the table, and I followed suit absent-mindedly.

“Minho, look… I’m sorry for-” I started, but he cut me off by taking me by surprise with a hug.

I stopped talking and just hugged him back, breathing in his scent. He smelled good, like soap and deodorant, with a tint of perfume on his shirt.

When he pulled away, he looked at me and removed a few strands of hair from my face.

“You lost weight.” He frowned. “And you’re pale.”

“You saw me almost every day, Minho.” I reminded him. Despite not talking or meeting one-on-one, we did see each other every working day of the week when he came to school.

“Not this close.” He shook his head. “How are you feeling, Jieun?”

He let me go and picked his mug to take a sip of his tea, and I did the same, because I didn’t know where else to put my hands, or what to do.

“Honestly…” I shook my head. “Not good, Minho.”

I let out a shaky breath and blinked back a couple of tears.

“I’m sorry.” I chuckled. “It’s just that… everything is so confusing. My feelings are all over the place, and I’m tired all the time, and I couldn’t even reach out to anyone. It felt like the biggest chore to get up in the morning, to get dressed… and even to reply to texts. I got so fed up with everyone’s texts, really. I am so sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need anything. It’s so damn tiring, Minho.”

He didn’t say anything, however, he placed his hand back on my back, rubbing circles soothingly.

“I don’t know what to do to get back on track, to feel a bit better. I’m completely lost. I focused so much on making sure my grandmother is taken care of, and now that she’s gone, I feel like my life no longer has any purpose.”

“It does, Jieun.”

“Like what? What am I even doing in this city, Minho? I don’t even belong here-”

“That’s not true.” He cut me off. “You have a job to get back to, with so many children knowing that there’s a safe space that waits for them in your classroom. You have your little routine here, your own place-”

“I’m renting, it’s not really my place.” I mumbled, and he let out a soft chuckle.

“You know what I meant. Point is, you’ve been building this life for the past year, you’ve made your own habits, you have a favourite coffee shop, and a favourite market, and hell, you told me yourself about how your neighbour’s dogs even recognise you and come to play with you, so how can you not belong here?”

His words made me pout slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by Minho, who put his hands on my face and forced my lips in a smile.

“You’re so childish.” I started laughing at his antics, and he smiled kindly.

“And you also belong next to me and Nari. She’s been asking me to invite you to dinner practically every day, and it’s getting harder and harder to make up excuses on why you can’t come. She misses you, Jieun.”

“I don’t know, Minho. I’m still feeling so weird about… everything, really. I’m still confused about us.”

“What is there to be confused about?” He tilted his head. “I’m in love with you, it’s as simple as that.”

He confessed, and I had to blink a few times.

“What?”

“What? Why are you so shocked?” He laughed softly and leaned back. "I told you before that I have feelings for you."

“You did, but... You are so… direct.” I looked at him, confusion plastered all over my face. “I just didn’t expect you to say it so… causally.”

“I told you, Jieun. I want to be honest about my feelings from now on.”

“How come you haven’t changed your mind? I’ve ignored you this past month.”

“Ah, so it was on purpose!” He exclaimed, making me roll my eyes and laugh. “Jokes aside, of course I wouldn’t have changed my mind. If anything, I feel like I got to think way more about you, and us, and it’s made things so much clearer. If it was not fate that we met first on In the Dark, and then practically the second day in your classroom, I have no idea what fate is supposed to be.”

“It’s truly weird that things worked out like this, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and I told you. You made me fall for you twice. The first time, slowly through your words and actions, when seeing how good you fit in with me and Nari and how much you add to our lives, and the second time, without even knowing who you are or what you look like, once again through your actions and the small details.”

“Damn, I’m pretty good, aren’t I?” I joked, but Minho nodded truthfully, his eyes full of praise.

“Now, of course, there’s also the chance that you don’t like me back, which, I mean, would pretty much suck, but I’d understand.”

“It’s obviously not that.” I rolled my eyes again, then looked at how he was manspreading on my sofa.

“Oh, yeah?” He challenged me, and it felt as if I was under a spell, because the next thing I did came naturally.

I shifted on the sofa and made my way over to him, supporting my hands against the backrest and hopping onto his lap, straddling him.

He raised an eyebrow and let out a smirk, and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. Although we’ve been in this position a lot of times, even naked, it was the first time I was actually seeing him.

With another leap of courage, I grabbed his face in my hands and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

“I do like you, Minho.” I said in a quiet voice. “I’m just insecure.”

“Do I make you feel insecure? Do you doubt me, or my feelings for you?” He asks, as quietly as me, and put his hand on top of mine, squeezing.

“No.” I shook my head. “It is I who makes me feel insecure. I don’t think I’m good enough for… for you.”

It was hard getting this confession out of my chest, but it’s one of the main reasons why I’ve been hesitant to let Minho in. While keeping my grandmother in the hospital, I’ve tried my hardest to not look down on myself. I tried rationalizing why I was selling my body, and it made sense, but now, with her gone and with way too much time to spare, my mind kept spiralling.

The same answers I’ve told Minho weeks ago during coffee were circling through my head repeatedly. If she were still alive, and if Minho wouldn’t have found out that I was Flame… what would I have done? Date him while cheating on him with Charisma - or God forbid, with another man - every other night just for some more money to pay the bills?

Everything weighted way too heavily, and I felt another pang in my heart and another headache settling between my temples.

“What do you even mean, Jieun?” Minho asked calmly, his voice soft. “You’re not only good enough. You’re perfect for me.”

As he said that, he moved his other hand closer to my face, rubbing the frown away from between my eyebrows.

“Are you looking down on me for visiting Flame through In the Dark?” He asked all of the sudden, checking my eyes for answers.

“What? Of course not!”

“Why not?”

“You had your reasons.”

“So did you. So stop looking down on yourself.” He moved both hands on my waist and kept looking into my eyes, and God, the way he was looking at me was so beautiful.

The whole moment felt intimate, despite the pain in my chest, and I could feel my heart thump harder. Things looked so easy from Minho’s perspective, so black and white, but my head was a mix of colours sprawled around all over the place.

“Please don’t doubt my feelings.” Minho shifted our bodies, sitting up straight and pressing me closer to his chest, while whispering in my ear.

His hands started dancing from my waist to my back, giving me goosebumps all over.

“I missed you.” He whispered again, pressing a small kiss on my collarbone, before raising his face to look at me.

“I missed you too.” I whispered back, kissing his lips.

“Yeah?” He asked, but this time, it didn’t sound challenging. It sounded genuine, and full of hope.

“You’re such a patient man, Minho. All these weeks of me ignoring your texts, and you still picked up and came here when I reached out.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for reaching out to me, Jieun. Please don’t pull away again.”

“I’m sorry.”

Minho smiled and kissed my lips again, and then hugged me tight, and the night witnessed our silent promises as we went to sleep embraced, and for the first time in weeks, I was able to get a good night's rest.

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

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