#clever comeback

[christinered]

Mistaken for a man

''Hey Vasquez, Have you ever been mistaken for a man?'

"No." "Have you?"

Perfect comeback. She's a beast. Love this Movie.

~Red

[iamnmbr3]

every time i read a drarry fic that's like 'potter was so stupid and unrefined and gormless and utterly in awe of the brilliant, cultured, perfectly in control, mysterious ice prince draco malfoy' im like...ok. teenage draco definitely wrote this.

[stephofromcabin12]

I’ve spoken positively about National Novel Writing Month before and so I am sad to have to take it all back.

If you’re not aware, NaNoWriMo recently endorsed the use of generative AI in writing practices, and their statement even went as far as to say that anti-AI views are “classist” and and “ableist”.

There is no ethical use for generative AI, as we speak. Using AI, even for something as simple as rephrasing an email or generating a profile picture, means that you’re actively using thousands of stolen works, a lot of which are copyrighted and/or protected in some way. (That’s why most companies behind generative AI’s are currently facing multiple lawsuits from various artists and companies who’ve found their work was used to train the AI models without their consent and without promise of compensation)

I’m an artist. I’m a writer. I cannot in any way endorse generative AI as long as it’s built on stolen artwork by my fellow artists, and possibly even myself. There is no world in which using generative AI makes you an artist. Currently, it just makes you complacent in art theft at worst and lazy at best.

It’s not classist to say that, and it’s not ableist either. Lot’s of writers and artists have physical or mental disabilities and/or come from a middle-to-low-class background. Your financial standing, and whether or not you’re disabled, does not define your ability to create art, as so many incredible artists throughout history have proven by continuing to make art on their own terms. I used to say that there’s no wrong way to make art. I was wrong. Generative AI proved me wrong.

The statement specifically emphasized AI as a way to get proofreading and editing done without needing to pay for a professional editor. But beta-readers have always existed for this very reason; it’s just another human connection AI seeks to eliminate in the name of “efficiency”.

There are books on editing that can be found and read in libraries, if you don’t have money to buy them. There are articles and videos made by actual experts in their field that can be found for free. I trust them far more than whatever botched mosaic of words AI spits out, which might not even be remotely correct, as most AI models openly allow errors.

So, my point is: Don’t use NaNoWriMo.

There are other ways to track your progress. There are other places to find community and writing groups. There are far better ways of creating art that won’t compromise the ethics of being an artist and, most likely, the law.

It sucks that I have to say this. It sucks that NaNoWriMo apparently has had a nosedive in it’s quality and moral standings that was steep enough that nearly all their employees quit.

But that’s where we are now, apparently. And so that’s where I stand.

That’s all.

[mercury-rain]

Taking a break from writing to reminisce over the fact that i was called a ✨faggot✨ maliciously for the first time today. Well, first time to my face at least.

Genuinely was so taken aback that i put an affronted hand to my chest like a lady being accused of the murder of her late and wealthy husband.

*moi?* but of course. naturally. no shit sherlock. Pray tell how you clocked that from a bike though, sir. Perchance it doth take one to know one?

[diltonsstrangescience]

So remember when C.R.U.S.H. used an exploding fake cow to try to kill the P.O.P. agents? (Many such cases, apparently.)

How the tables have turned.

[kaythefloppa]

Rewatching No Name Dream, and honestly, it is the one Wild Kratts episode that feels the most like a fanfiction.

[haveihitanerve]

on the flip side of the previous poll...

[saprosappho]

genuinely so annoying when someone is just like. absurdly and abruptly cruel to someone else on twitter and ten thousand fourteen year olds chime in like "tbh you ate them up 😭" well. no?

[alphie-in-the-sky]

[facebookbatteryaciddrinkers]

COMEBACKS TO OWN LOSER

[jjinpang]

I like re:zero.

I just don't enjoy the dialogue in re:zero.

....re:zero is mostly just dialogue.

what I'm trying to say is want to get the story or re:zero directly input into my brain without having to read it.

[thewitchblue]

"You're so pretty."

Jason slurred. He just got back from patrol with multiple injuries, and you were patching him up. You were surprised he showed up to the Batcave at all, really. He was always the type who wanted to "tough it out." You hid a smile while saying,

"You have a concussion."

Jason winced when you ran your fingers through his hair. You frowned when you got his blood on your hands. You had thought you managed to get the blood mostly cleaned up, and his helmet was spotless. You called out,

"Alfre—mmh!"

Jason shut you up with a kiss. It wasn't thought out in the slightest, and he knows he'll regret it when his concussion goes away, but thinking hurts with the painkillers barely helping, and he wants to kiss you before potentially dying again.

Jason took your hand in his and slurred,

"Will you go on a date with me, pipsqueak?"

You blinked at the bleeding man. What do you even say to that? You were stunned. You watched Jason carefully. He looked serious, but can he really be serious when he has head trauma? Is it the blood loss talking? You gave him a half smile and said,

"When you're healed, Romeo."

Maybe he'll remember this. Maybe he won't. Either way, you agreed and you stand by your decision. He gave you a half-grin, his eyes clouded by pain and heavy.

He toyed with your hand like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He played with your fingers and examined them like they were precious jewellery, comparing them to his own scarred and rough hands.

You really were pretty in his eyes. Gorgeous, even. He loved your eyerolls and sarcastic smiles. He loved that you smirk when you think of something particularly clever to respond back to his sass. He loved the way you laughed at his witty comebacks and how you snicker at his dramatic sentences. He appreciated the way you hold him when he feels like he's falling apart. You were a beautiful person in his eyes.

Call him corny, but he wants to wake up next to you. He wants to hear your sleepy groans when your alarm goes off in the morning. He wants to be the one to replace your cuddle pillow. Yes, you do have a cuddle pillow. Yes, it's a specific pillow in every house you crash at and most rooms you enter. No, you aren't aware of your cuddle pillows. He's likely the only one who has ever noticed that you cuddle a very specific pillow every time you are distracted and near one.

He stared at you as you packed a bullet wound in his thigh. Your quiet concentration gave him time to admire you. You were snarky with him at times, but you always came back to him to apologise, and he'd always laugh and rub the top of your head with his knuckles like you were a little kid.

He grabbed your hand and slurred,

"I love you."

He proceeded to promptly pass out while you stewed in silence. Maybe it was the painkillers barrelling through him, or maybe it was something more, but you'll only find out when he wakes up.

You had finished patching him up, but you wanted to sit with him longer. You looked him over with a smile and lovingly ran one of your hands along his bullet free arm before claiming his hand in yours and giving it a slight squeeze.

He was beautiful, too, in your opinion. You love him, scars and all. You loved how unapologetically himself that he can be.

He happily swings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side when he has come up with a terrible idea and wants you to join for when things inevitably go wrong. You always call him an idiot, but join him regardless because someone has to save him from himself.

You adore that he loves to complain about his day because you feel a part of his heart. He doesn't complain to just anyone. He doesn't like to share his problems because he feels he can shoulder them himself when it's obvious he can't. You became his go-to person for his issues, and you are incredibly grateful he lets you in so easily.

You cherished the little moments when Jason allows you to trace his scars and murmur that he's a constellation and just as beautiful as one. He jokingly asked if he can be Orion's Belt because he doesn't know what to say to something so heart-warming, and you laughed because you knew if you didn't, he would have fallen apart and you wanted to make sure he stays held together.

Jason stirred awake when he felt the painkillers wear off, but you managed to coax him back to sleep. He murmured,

"I love you."

He was asleep before you could respond, and you were thankful for that because you had no idea how to respond. You don't think he'll remember any of this when he wakes up, but you certainly will. His eyes were so sincere before they closed. He's serious. You're sure of it. Jason doesn't joke about relationship related topics. The person becomes his everything when he dates them, and he makes sure everybody knows as much.

Alfred had walked in to witness the scene unfold and purposefully waited for Jason to pass out before revealing himself, holding medical supplies to restock the medical kit you used on him. How smooth, Jason. After months of contemplating and struggling to figure out the best way to ask you out, all the plans went out the window due to a little concussion and a lot of bullet wounds.

[satoblue]

“ANATOMY” — gojo satoru

you’re very interested in satoru’s overall physique, and more importantly, the things that make it glaringly obvious that he is a man. | wc: 1.4k

f!reader, established relationship (dating), you stare (hard), satoru’s adam’s apple is a warning in itself, sexual jokes so suggestive, satoru thinks you’re a perv and a weirdo (he’s the real one), mentions of cannibalism and murder, you have a question, boyfie is a menace. | dividers made by me

“weirdo.”

at the sound of satoru’s voice, you’re snapped out of your daze, cheek lifting from where you previously rested it on your palm.

“huh?”

your boyfriend leans back in his seat, folding his muscular arms over his chest — and you have to stop yourself from staring at how they strain under his dress shirt and the ceaseless movement of the sphere in his throat.

it’s so obvious and just… there. it wiggles and bobs whenever he swallows or talks, it’s hard not to notice. and it’s pointy too, almost to the point it looks painful.

part of you wants to pinch it, squeeze it — bite it. and maybe, even suck on it like a lollipop. and you know he’d let out a throaty little groan — it’s simply in his dna to.

a shiver through his body here, a tremble there — all because of the suction of your mouth and the wetness of your saliva on his skin. it’d leave a mark - red and glaring - as satoru tends to bruise easily. it would mean something — that his body belongs to you.

tossing you a suspicious look, he eyes you in a calculating manner with his piercing gaze as if reading the pages of an open book, brows raised.

after a beat, he purses his lips. “you’re staring really hard at my neck . . . either you want to tear a piece off, or you’re finding out ways to strangle me to death.”

parting your lips, you’re about to argue his absurd claims (though, the second option looks increasingly tempting by the second) — but he puts a hand up quickly to shush you.

“aht, aht.” satoru arches a brow. and you huff, but grow silent regardless.

with a sigh, he shakes his head before looking you right in the eye and continuing. “i’m super shy, you know?”

here we go. you roll your eyes.

everyone who knows him at all knows that is farthest from the truth.

“really, when you look at me like that, it makes me kinda nervous and concerned for my safety.” he finishes like a delicate flower, lashes fluttering.

you snort at his display. “oh, please. whatever you were thinking just now — it’s not that.”

“which one? cannibalism, or murder?”

you groan, and a sly, amused grin can’t help but creep onto his face, cerulean blues shimmering with delight and a knowing.

to consume him or to kill him? — that is the question. would it be wrong to say yes to both? this way, you’d know more past his mouth and cock, past saliva and semen. you’d taste and feel his blood.

there is no greater knowing than that.

your boyfriend leans in close, eyes trained on your expression, trying to decipher you where you sit, as if dying to hear a juicy secret. “or are you secretly a vampire and you’re plotting to turn me?”, he inquires playfully, eyes going wide in emphasis behind his shades.

“to be honest, i don’t think i want to be immortal.” satoru ponders, pulling away suddenly and tapping his pointer finger against his lips in thought.

gosh, he just loves to hear himself talk.

then he pauses, turning to face you again and speaks in a sincere tone. “but, if it means spending eternity with you, i wouldn’t mind.”

you hate to admit it, but your heart flutters a bit.

you squash it down real fast.

before you can come up with a clever comeback to his flirting, your boyfriend faints back in his seat dramatically, exposing his neck.

“bite away!”, he cries, palm to his forehead.

your airway stutters, pointedly avoiding his adam’s apple which seems to appear more deliciously prominent - sharper - than before with his head thrown back. “just make sure it doesn’t hurt too much — i have sensitive skin.”

the sight flusters you as satoru easily does, and in a moment of pure instinct, you deliver a tiny flick to his cheek — and he sits right back up.

“ow!” his hand flies up to clutch the side of his face protectively. “i just said my skin is sensitive.” he pouts, rubbing the afflicted, reddening area.

“oh, you poor, dainty thing.” you drone in a monotone voice, trying to appear cool as you attempt to still the erratic beating of your heart.

he grumbles, but his eyes take on a mischievous glint. knowing. though, before he can open his big mouth to expose you, you beat him to it. you adjust in your seat, clearing your throat.

“i’m just curious about—”

“aw, curious? about liddol ol’ me?”, he interrupts almost immediately, unable to help himself. “that’s sweet, sweets.” satoru places a hand over his heart with a coo, heavily endeared.

“can you let me finish?”, you deadpan. he gives you a thumbs up with a goofy grin. idiot.

you smile against your will, his incredibly and annoyingly infectious. shifting forward a bit, resting your elbows on the table, you point at the area of his neck at a distance.

“it’s just…” you start slowly, unsure how to word your words. “your adam’s apple—” satoru grins manically in absolute glee as soon as they lift off your tongue, eyes widening a fraction behind the dark lenses.

“ah, i see...” he speaks calmly, the insane look on his face portraying the exact opposite of his tone.

you hum, breath catching in your throat slightly.

“pervert.”

taken aback, blood rushes to your face. you practically flinch, like you’ve been smacked — and it is incredibly gratifying to satoru that he manages to fire you up like this.

“i am not!”

“yes, you are.~” he sings. “admit it. you want to explore me.”

“what i want is to explore a way out of your presence...” you mumble under your breath. but, satoru hears it — and his eyes twinkle brightly at your cheeky response.

with a huff, you lean back in your chair, arms crossed over your chest — and you don’t miss how satoru seems to inspect that movement rather intensely, especially your breasts.

and he calls you the pervert.

your boyfriend smiles innocently at your behavior, urging you to finish. “i was just gonna say that — it looks like it hurts.” you murmur, a finger absentmindedly tracing the edge of the table.

“hm, does it?”, satoru inquires with a low and curious hum, suddenly invading your space until he’s unbelievably close in proximity than before. all you could smell is him with his chest right up against your arm, pure amusement lacing his voice.

you tense up in surprise.

even after all this time, you can’t help how nervous he makes you feel, the butterflies in your stomach that border on a tummy ache, as if you’re being examined under a microscope anytime his sights land on you.

unable to meet his gaze even with the barrier his sunglasses provide, you opt to stare down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands and fighting the warmth in your face the best you can.

but satoru knows. he always knows. he knows the effect he has on you in an instant. it’s written in your biology to react this way with him and only him.

“yeah…”, you mumble, swallowing thickly. “it’s like a ball is stuck in your throat or something..?” your voice grows quieter and unsure as you speak. once you’re done, you don’t get a response from him, and you’re too anxious to look up at his face for his reaction.

it’s intimidating, really. satoru is usually so loud. but, when he goes silent, it feels like he’s judging you. and when he does, the more embarrassed you get. it’s as though you want to impress him even when he’s already yours.

and you just said something real stupid, didn’t you?

time seems to sit still for ages, but in reality, it’s only a good five seconds before he does anything.

with a lighthearted chuckle, he pats your head once as if sensing your inner turmoil, soothing you like he would one of his students — a child. you were just so adorable sometimes, he thinks.

a muscle in your eye twitches.

“well, i don’t know about that. but…”, he moves closer into your space until you could practically feel him in your veins as he whispers in your ear. you shiver, body rigid as his breath brushes against your skin, voice impossibly low and serious before—

“i do know a pair of balls that can hurt if you stare at them long enough.”

you blink, and all of a sudden, the humiliation that previously plagued you vanishes into thin air — his sickness like a remedy to your ills. your head tilts up a bit, staring blankly ahead at something far, distant, and forever out of your reach.

sanity.

“i can show you those when we go home later.” he giggles.

“it’ll be our little lesson in anatomy.”

[astrologydray]

The Lubby-dubby side of the Venus signs 🥰😍😘😫

😈Aries Venus:

They love teasing, playful banter, and a little bit of competitive flirting. If they’re wrestling with you for fun, they’re into you😭.

Aries Venus shows love through big, impulsive acts—surprise dates, random “I love you” texts, or whisking you away on an adventure.

Hugs? More like bone-crushing embraces. Kisses? Always fiery and full of urgency.

Aries Venus won’t sugarcoat things, but their honesty means you’ll always know where you stand with them.

They need excitement in relationships—think spontaneous road trips, fun challenges, or chasing each other around the house just for fun🥰.

😈Taurus Venus:

Taurus Venus loves physical touch—expect long hugs, hand-holding, and falling asleep tangled together. They show love through warmth and closeness.

Expect candlelit dinners, cozy nights in, soft blankets, and music that sets the mood. Taurus Venus loves creating ambiance😫.

They prove their love through consistency, loyalty, and little everyday gestures—cooking for you, remembering your favorite things, and making sure you feel secure.

They want to be yours and yours alone—they’re protective, a little jealous, and love when you’re just as obsessed with them😚.

They express love through gifts, delicious food, and making sure you’re comfortable—they want you to be pampered and adored🤩.

😈Gemini Venus:

Expect clever comebacks, inside jokes, and playful sarcasm—it’s their way of keeping things exciting.

Gemini Venus bonds through talking, debating, and exchanging ideas. Deep late-night talks, sending memes, and random fun facts? That’s their love language🧠.

They’re the type to randomly text you “wyd” every hour and expect a full conversation about nothing. If they overshare, they’re hooked on you❤️‍🔥.

Love should feel like a never-ending sleepover—laughing, talking about anything and everything, and never running out of things to do together.

Compliments, sweet texts, and witty one-liners are their way of saying “I love you.” They’ll always make you feel mentally stimulated and adored🥰.

😈Cancer Venus:

snuggling, forehead kisses, and wrapping you up in a warm embrace make them feel safe and connected❤️.

Cooking for you, making sure you’re eating well, checking in on your feelings—they show love by taking care of you in little, thoughtful ways.

They form deep emotional bonds and need reassurance that you feel the same way. They be emotionally attached af😫🥰.

Cancer Venus wants to build a cozy, intimate world with their person—expect sweet traditions, a shared playlist, or a comfy home full of love.

If they love you, they will be protective. They may get jealous easily, but it’s just because they feel so deeply😤.

😈Leo Venus:

Expect big hugs, dramatic kisses, and constant compliments. Leo Venus isn’t shy about showing their love loud and proud.

Posting you on social media, bragging about you to friends, wanting to match outfits—they love making their love public and undeniable. Showing you off as they should😫.

When they love you, they’re all in. They’ll defend your honor, hype you up, and make sure you know you’re theirs.

Think romantic surprises, heartfelt love letters, and planning unforgettable dates. Love with them feels like a movie moment🤩.

Once they commit, they’re ride or die. They want a love that feels powerful, unbreakable, and meant to be🤞🏾.

😈Virgo Venus:

They show love by helping, fixing, and making your life easier—whether it’s remembering your schedule, bringing you food, or handling the little things you forget. Very thoughtful 🤔.

They notice everything—your likes, dislikes, habits, and moods. If they love you, they’ll adjust themselves to fit your needs effortlessly.

When a Virgo Venus commits, they’re all in. They don’t fall in love easily, but once they do, they’re steady, trustworthy, and always there for you.

They remember the little things—your favorite coffee order, what makes you anxious, or the book you said you wanted months ago❤️.

Instead of grand gestures, they show up for you daily, proving their love through consistency, effort, and devotion.

😈Libra Venus:

Even in love, they never stop flirting. Expect sweet compliments, lingering eye contact, and teasing banter that keeps the spark alive❤️‍🔥.

They adore romance and will shower you with affection, gifts, and quality time—but they also want to be adored in return.

Whether it’s holding hands, cuddling, or whispering sweet things, they love gentle, elegant forms of intimacy😫.

They’ll create romantic dates with candles and soft music, write heartfelt love notes, or plan something special just to make you smile.

Love should feel easy, fun, and full of connection—they want someone they can talk to for hours and still feel completely enchanted by.

😈Scorpio Venus:

When they love you, you become their world. They’re not interested in casual affection—they want something real and unbreakable.

If they’re in love, they’ll make sure you’re safe, defended, and completely theirs. A little jealous? Maybe. But only because they love so deeply🖤.

They won’t always say how much they love you—but you’ll feel it in the way they look at you, touch you, and fight for you😫.

They don’t do superficial romance, but expect intense, meaningful gestures, like sharing secrets they tell no one else or remembering tiny details about you forever.

they want growth, depth, and transformation. If they love you, they’ll push you to evolve into your best self🤞🏾.

😈Sagittarius Venus:

Expect random road trips, last-minute date ideas, and a relationship that feels like a never-ending adventure. They want a love that’s exciting and free🏃🏾.

They want a partner they can grow with, debate with, and experience new things with—mental stimulation is a must!

They’ll tell you exactly how they feel, and while they value independence, they’re incredibly devoted to the person who can keep up with them.

They won’t cling, but if they keep coming back to you even with all their options, that’s how you know you have their heart.

They might not always be romantic, but when they do express love, it’s bold, dramatic, and full of enthusiasm🤪.

😈Capricorn Venus:

When they’re in love, they’re all in for the long haul. They want to build something solid and lasting with their partner.

they show love through providing, taking care of you, and making sure you’re supported. If they’re taking care of the logistics of your life, that’s love 💕.

They show up for you, day in and day out. Whether it’s supporting your career goals or just being there when you need them, they’re always dependable.

They might not wear their heart on their sleeve, but they’re extremely affectionate in subtle ways—holding your hand, offering gentle touches, or showing interest in your day.

they’re drawn to partners who are ambitious, responsible, and goal-oriented. If you earn their admiration, they’ll show love through undying support😚.

😈Aquarius Venus:

They show affection by engaging in thought-provoking conversations, debates, and sharing ideas. If they’re excited to discuss something with you, it’s a sign they’re deeply connected.

They love someone who embraces their individuality. Expect unexpected surprises that reflect their quirky nature—random gifts, offbeat date ideas, or spontaneous adventures.

They’ll love you by encouraging you to follow your dreams, be your own person, and express your full potential🤞🏾.

They may not be outwardly emotional, but their love runs deep. If they open up to you emotionally, it’s a sign they truly trust you. They express love through actions, ideas, and long-term commitment🥹.

While they care deeply, they need space and independence. They show love by giving their partner room to grow and encouraging personal freedom.

😈Pisces Venus:

Pisces Venus loves through empathy and emotional depth. They want to connect on a soul level, often feeling like their love is fated or destined.

They show love through gentle acts of care, like offering comfort when you’re down, listening to your deepest thoughts, or simply being there when you need them.

Pisces Venus is very attuned to their partner’s emotional needs. They can sense when you’re feeling off or need reassurance, and they’ll go out of their way to make you feel loved and cared for😘.

They love expressing affection through art, poetry, or music—whether it’s sharing a song that reminds them of you or painting something inspired by their love for you😍.

Expect soft touches, sweet words, and an overall nurturing energy. They want to make you feel cherished in the most gentle and unhurried way🥰.

[melodicfix]

[the-transgenda-agenda]

I literally posted a topless photo yesterday (no nipples) and it got automatically flagged for content review.

Also, wasn't there legislation that passed recently in Idaho that made it illegal for anyone with surgically altered breasts/chests to appear in public without a shirt?

every word of this is literally just a deliberate lie