#commit as much as I'd like to :/ just what a shame man

[gu6chan]

got a whopping 3.5 hours of sleep after dealing with last night's bullshit but i am determined to go to work and have a good day‼️❤️🌈🧚‍♂️🐞😀

[specialgradefckr]

Satoru Gojo who thinks you're only with him for the money.

He's pretty insufferable, after all. And a shitty boyfriend to boot - always bailing on dates, showing up at weird times, telling you vague stories about his work that don't make sense.

Honestly he's surprised you've stuck around this long.

That you still read every message he spams you when he's bored and lonely fighting special grade curses.

(after all, he always has to go on those missions alone. there's no one who can go with him.)

You still text him back. Open the door to let him in. Smile when you see him, like it's the very first time and he can tell you're just so star-struck by his eyes as he tugs down his blindfold with a grin, "Do I look blind to you?" "Blindingly handsome!"

He'd laughed at that. You're shocked by his appearance, but you're earnest, and so obviously smitten, and he loves a woman with a little humor.

Satoru Gojo who didn't expect you to text him back after the first night, but you did.

cutie pie: omg, those look so good! what flavor? satoru: my favorite, the edamame and cream~ cutie pie: bring some for me next time you visit <3 i'll feed them to you ;)

On a lesser man, that might have sounded presumptuous. To Satoru, it's the perfect come-on. Casual, flirty, and easy to do - all the makings of a great hookup.

He hadn't expected to spend half the night on his knees like a dog, licking at your fingers. Watering over a thumb pressed down against his tongue while you drooled your mochi-sweet saliva straight into his open mouth.

Unexpected, but amazing! Satoru knew then that you were going to be a treat worth savoring.

It was just a shame that he could only enjoy you for one night.

Not even that much, really. He'd been called away in bed; one arm wrapped around your darling naked form, holding you pressed against him.

Left while you were asleep without a word. He'd texted you on the way, a blase little "sowwyyyyy smth came up! u were gr8 last night." and no real expectations of a return.

If you were (reasonably) upset with him, he'd block you - his one act of kindness to a woman he couldn't treat right.

Instead he gets "thanks! you weren't so bad yourself haha" and your enthusiasm is obviously a bit defused, but he can work with this.

He lays it out to you, next chance he gets. Tries to text you often enough to make sure you don't think he's ghosted you.

"I know this might sound like the kind of thing married men say," He says with a big, sardonic smile, "But I have a very demanding job. I don't have time for a relationship. And for personal reasons, I can't agree to be exclusive, either."

There's a look you give him that makes him wonder what exactly you think of his job. Satoru vaguely wonders if you think he's a sex worker.

He hopes you try to find him on porn websites later. Maybe he should film himself jerking off real quick sometime so you can watch it.

"That makes sense," Is what you say, instead of any of the ridiculous thinks he'd imagined.

You don't seem thrilled about it, but you don't look immeasurably disappointed, either. You're a smart girl. You'd probably already figured he couldn't commit.

"But!" He chirps, "I am very very interested in seeing you again. Multiple agains. And I'd like to come to an arrangement that makes that easier for you, since my schedule is so tight..."

For a moment, you stay quiet, and Satoru wonders if he should just offer you cash upfront. But you're receptive, and things go well.

Worryingly well, to be honest. What type of girl are you, exactly? Naughty thing. Get money from a lot of men, do you?

You laugh when he tries to bring it up in bed, "You're one to talk, Mr. can't-promise-exclusivity," you tease, running a hand through his hair while you smile at him.

He likes it when you do that. He likes a lot of things you do.

The real wonder is - although he is absolutely spectacular in bed of course - how much do you like it?

The whole relationship has to happen on his shitty, inconsistent schedule. He can't commit to a relationship or tell you about his job - you're better off that way. Even if you don't know.

Satoru Gojo who pretends to go on dates with other girls sometimes just so that no one watching him thinks he's serious about you. He can't have the Higher Ups thinking of you as a tool to use against him.

He can't even offer you exclusivity. Even if he wants to. Even if he struggles to get it up with those girls - his heart just isn't it in - when he's making sure everyone who's watching him knows you're just one of several people he's having sex with.

After all, the only thing that could be worse than people thinking you were the strongest sorcerer's weakness, was if they thought you might be pregnant with the strongest sorcerer's child.

But if he's fucking around, if he's the whore his so-called superiors make him out to be - then you're safe. Just another girl.

And god, does he take advantage of it.

Texting you late at night. Early in the morning. Times don't mean a lot to him these days.

The most sleep he ever gets is the rare night he spends with you, maybe once or twice a month, five hours in your arms before he pulls himself away and slinks out of bed while you're still asleep like a guilty dog.

He doesn't deserve your warmth or your bed. But he'll take it while you're offering. Eat it all up and beg shamelessly for seconds.

He makes up for it with money, or tries to. Leaves you treats and sweets and other gifts. Spam texts you and facetimes you constantly - when he can.

To be perfectly honest, he's kind of expecting to be dumped any day. He'll take whatever he can get.

If paying your rent or buying you a house makes you feel guilty enough to stay a few days longer with him, that's a good use of his money.

He arranges for you to receive an offer for a remote job, something flexible that will let you meet him whenever he comes calling.

His gifts get more lavish. He's always generous in bed, makes sure you have a good time.

He has a reputation to uphold, after all.

Sometimes he just stares at you when you're asleep. It feels like a waste to spend his precious few hours with you sleeping.

Look at you. All peaceful in his arms. Cuddling up to him.

He can admit, in the dead of night, with no witnesses but himself; the sight makes his heart tug.

If he could, he'd stay. Wake up next to you in the morning. Make breakfast, flirt, joke, maybe even take a little ~morning shower~ and have some fun in there.

It's so clear in his head. How you'd joke back. Smile and giggle and playfully bump against him. Give him a little kiss, a little hug before he leaves for work.

You would kiss his forehead when he got migraines. Hug him when he talks about his difficulties at work.

Your soft smile, your warm lips, your tight hug. It's all so vivid in his head. How you'd look in the morning light, staring at him while you think he's asleep.

Would you stare? What would show on your face, then?

He tries, very hard, not to imagine what your face must look like when you wake up alone every time you sleep with him.

What you think about when he's not there.

Do you wonder if he's with other women? Do you see his flirty texts - "sorry kitten daddy's gotta work late" "babygirl you're not my dad, he goes to bed at 9." - and wonder if he's said that to a hundred other girls?

Because he has. And that's what hurts, really. He could message a hundred girls and get a hundred vapid responses, all those notifications could build up in his phone and he wouldn't care.

But when it's you messaging him?

When you tell him about your day, or text him a picture, or pick up on the rare phone call he gets to make - Satoru's heart skips a beat.

What about you? He thinks about you checking your phone constantly to see anything from him, and it hurts.

You don't show any unhappiness about the arrangement. Every gift, every little arrangement or donation he makes, you accept it all with grace. Everything money can buy is yours, he makes that clear.

As long as you're with him, he'll spoil you rotten. And you were starstruck in the beginning, he could tell.

Expensive hotels, exclusive restaurants. First class flights everywhere, even a private jet if you want it. He brings you custom made jewelry worth more than people make in a year, pulls it out of his pocket and clasps it around your wrist like a passing trinket.

You get used to the constant spa days, the shopping trips. Ordering food for every meal. Living in a city center in a beautiful penthouse with brilliant fixtures. And you're happy like that. At least you look like you are.

But every time he sees you, you're with him. He can't tell if you miss him, if you're sad when he's not there.

He... he sort of doesn't want to know.

Satoru Gojo who loves you. And he hopes to god you don't love him back.

After all, if you did, then you'd want things from him he can't give. Shouldn't give.

But if all you love is his money? He's got tons of it. You can have as much as you want. He can make you happy. He can buy the love he can't afford to earn. He'll never run out of funds.

As long as it's only his money you love, he can have you forever.

[jeannyjaykaydeh]

Merry Sinsmas

Alastor x Reader

Just a little thought I'd like to share with you because I’m in the Christmas mood.

I hope you enjoy reading it and if you celebrate Christmas: I wish you a Merry Christmas. And if you don't: I hope you have a great few days anyway. :)

And to all of you: Merry Sinsmas. :D

Warning: I hope you don't mind that this short story briefly mentions that you are from Germany. If you can't identify with this, just see this sentence as a joke to wriggle out of a situation.

—————————————————————————

You're standing in the hotel lobby with a clipboard in your hand, working through a to-do list. You are in the middle of your Christmas preparations. Charlie and Vaggie are busy decorating the big tree in the centre of the lobby next to the stairs, Niffty is cleaning and judging by her crazy laugh, she's in a very Christmassy mood.

Lucifer is tending to the fairy lights, Husk is making punch for everyone and Angel and Cherri Bomb are getting the sound system ready.

As you stare at your clipboard, thinking about what you could do next, you notice out of the corner of your eye a shadow rise from the floor and stand next to you.

You don't even have to lift your eyes to realise that it's Alastor, standing so close to you that his large body is pressed against you.

You hear a snap of fingers, but you skilfully ignore it.

You're too busy dealing with the fact that the radio demon is invading your comfort zone - as he so often does.

It doesn't take long before he clears his throat meaningfully, inviting you to give him your attention.

So you raise your eyes and suppress your annoyed expression as best you can.

You look at him expectantly. What does he want?

He looks down at you with a mischievous smile. Then he takes a quick look at the ceiling before his eyes wander back to you.

You look up and see a sprig of mistletoe hanging directly above you, obviously conjured up by him.

You sigh slightly.

So he wants to be kissed.

Alastor is really trying everything he can to get to you. You realise that he's been trying to make advances to you for months and win your heart with small - and also very large - gestures.

What you keep to yourself the whole time: He won your heart a long time ago. But you don't want to admit it.

Yes, you fancy Alastor - oh, you're so in love with him!

But your fear of commitment and the fact that he's one of the most dangerous demons here in hell stop you from getting involved with him.

Much to the displeasure of your friends, because the tension between Alastor and you has left its mark on them too and now they really want to see you two as a couple.

"Hahaaaa, there's a little green branch hanging right above us. What funny coincidences there are, aren't there, my dear?" he says euphorically in his radio filter voice.

"Real coincidences, yes," you reply sarcastically and leave it at that. At least that's what you try to do, but there's no way Alastor will let you get away with it.

He steps closer to you - it's hard to believe that's still possible - leans forward slightly and says: "You know I'm a man of tradition. In my day, we followed every custom without even batting an eyelid. It would be a shame for me and my inner well-being if you didn't appreciate my traditions, sweetheart."

You give him a wry, cheeky grin. Then you turn away from him and say: "Well, it's just a shame that I'm from Germany and this mistletoe tradition isn't practised there."

You move away from him and leave him standing there in his indignant static noise.

"OH NO, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Angel suddenly shouts across the lobby. He jumps up from his chair and stomps angrily towards you, grabs you by the shoulders, spins you around and pushes you back on your heels under the mistletoe, where he sets you down right in front of the radio demon.

He grumbles: "We're not in fucking Germany here, we're in hell! And here ya don't just kiss under the mistletoe, here ya even fuck when ye're standin' under it! So do yerself and us a favour and respect our traditions! Ya kiss that creepy man now, understand?"

[kiththecat]

this is going to sound so ubnoxious, but i saw a lifesteal confession and immediately realised that im probably guilty of the exact thing it was talking about (people mostly caring about branzy when it comes to lifesteal and clownzy). but after a minute of thinking (🤔<- like this) i could kiiiinda pinpoint why and i thought it'd be interesting enough to vocalise, at least.

in my head, there's a very clear line between "the guy whose vidoes i watch while eating lunch" and "the guy i make fanworks of." even though its technically the same guy. i love watching branzy's videos. he's extremely entertaining and talented. but i also have a separate version of him that's based on the character he plays. the guy who in many cases has a story that ends up being very tied to clowns. being the most important person to the deadliest guy is a compelling character and i find that very fun to explore in writing. admittedly the bit they've got going on where they flirt unprompted is still kinda peak and that is definitely something i'd want to see more of.  very chill about it though. *wink*

however, and this is where i wholeheartedly agree with everything in the confession. i really dislike it when the comment section on branzy's videos mention clown in a video clown's barely in. cc!branzy could spend five hundred hours working on a minecraft project and if clownpierce happens to be eluded to, then that's what a lot of the comments will be about. now i LOVE clownzy crumbs because i'm a pathetic individual, but there are so many other things to talk about in branzy's non-lifesteal content than the gay bit he did two years ago. 

anyway here are some elements of branzy's character that i really appriciate bout him

he is like a jack of all trades. sure he's not the very very best in any field, but he's a great builder, great redstoner, great at survival things, great at the game in general. i think his strongest trait is just how dedicated he is to whatever he decides to do. he loves a challenge, he loves overkill and theatrics, he needs mental stimulation and work or else he dies.

in after hours smp he commited so many crimes... so many. one thing i loved is that for that video he had to research these crimes and come up with a minecraft equivalent. he's extremely creative and his brain works in weird, sort of morbid and somehow also cutesy ways.

or in the video where he's building a computer in minecraft with rek. one moment he doesn't get what's happening and he asks rek to "explain it to me like im a puppy" or something. and it's such a silly little moment but i like that he just found no shame in asking. in general he's just very down to earth and shameless.

he is not in any way morally upstanding. if he saw a big read button that said "press this to kill one hundred random children" he'd not hesitate. if the button was protected with top security measures he'd do whatever it takes to get past them. he does not care about good and bad. please never give him morals.

his love language is killing his friends for fun

okay here's a personal preference but he needs to have some wacky job. if you're writing this man he needs to be money laundering. or running a pyramid scheme. why would anyone put him in a school, or a cafe. he's a palm reader who sucks but takes money before readings and runs away. he's running a sweatshop and all the worker uniforms are weird costumes. he's a janitor but he uses special access to steal things. he has one hundred different identities. why am i describing stanley pines.

moving on.

there is so much love in him. he loves the craft (insert trademark mark here), he loves the people around him, he finds joy in pretty flowers, he finds joy in setting pretty flowers on fire.

many more things to say but the gist is. bramzycraft....

he's a dad now and i think that's beautiful. buuuuuuuuut the baby doesnt have anything to do with toxic yaoi (that we know of... 👁️👁️) so how important is it REALLY.

clownzy jesus out.

[vnards]

MafiaAU pt 2

You place his hot drink down in front of him. Those eyes flitting to his face in curiosity like he’s used to. But he didn’t mind it this time. It gave him a chance to commit the color of your eyes to memory.

It’s been a while since someone approached Ghost with as much enthusiasm as you do. Maybe since Johnny. If you were scared, you hid it from him so well.  Ghost was dressed down, trying to blend in as much as his large frame would allow, with only a black face mask on and hoodie up, his cropped blond hair hidden under. “Is there anything else I can get you?” You prompt.

A few beats of silence. “What do you recommend?” A color grew on your cheeks, but you still gave a good effort to hide it from him.

“Would you like a piece of pie? Fresh out the oven.” Your offer was so genuine, so polite. Your enthusiasm rubs off on him. He grunts an affirmative. Ghost isn’t one for pie, prefers cake, but you asked so nicely. How could he refuse?  

Your smile makes it worth it. You headed back towards the kitchen. Ghost was unable to avoid watching you.

How you moved. How you smiled. How you laughed.

It made him want to know how you smell. How you taste. A hunger began to simmer in Ghost’s chest. Your attention stirred something in him

He pulls his mask up to take a sip of coffee you had made for him.

You bring him a slice of key lime and place it in front of him. You hover for a moment, looking for a reason, “I love spring. Sunny days are my favorite.” You look out the window. Ghost uses the moment to soak in every inch of you.

Ghost’s phone dinged with a message. An all call from Price.

A shame.

The light on your face dimmed as you see him place money on the table, “You're leaving?” you nearly sounded disappointed. It tugged on a string in his heart a bit.

“Enjoy it for me, doll.” The offer seemed to settle your sadness for something else.

“Oh, I-I can't. I'm still on the clock.”

“Sit.” The suggestion came out more of a command then anything. But you listened so well. And without question. “Eat my pie for me, doll.” He settle back into his booth, eyes scanning the room behind you for any potential threat. Ghost’s eyes lifted to the waiter at the till, watching your interaction with him. His eyes held a suspicion he’s seen from other men before. Other men who want to dig his claws in a pretty thing like you.

The weight of the gun hidden against his chest whispers to him. Convincing him of a threat. His fingers being to tap again.

“What's your name?” the lithe in your voice breaking through the whispers. He gives you his full attention.

“Simon.” A name only those close to him use.

You smile and tell him your name. He repeats it, enjoying the feeling of it on his tongue. “I believe everyone has a story,” you eat his pie, just like he requested, “I think I'd like to know your story.”

Ghost’s fingers still. “I’m not a story you’d want to read, doll.”

You look up at him with those eyes of yours, a gentleness he knows he would ruin. The blood on his hands too stained to ever wash off.

He knows what he should do. He should walk away, let you go. Let you not be smeared by his mere presence. But Ghost was always a selfish man. He tried to ignore the lick of fire at the thought of ruining you.

You slide a napkin across the table, a series of numbers written on it. Ghost cant help but smirk behind the mask. “Well, if you ever change your mind…”

The buzzing of his cell phone caught the table’s attention. Ghost grumbled, knowing only one person who would call him. You seem to know it’s a dismissal as well, seeming to slump further in the booth, the air of rejection about you. Ghost almost felt bad, but he hoped a few extra bills would make up for it.

The call continued to ring, Ghost was in no hurry to pick it up. You begin to protest at the extra cash on the table, but Ghost simply didn’t want to hear it. “Stay out of trouble, doll.”

He grabs the napkin as he goes.

next part -> <-previous part masterlist

[dangermousie]

I continue to love what the drama did with the husband. It would have been so predictable and boring to make him a villain who would do anything for a promotion but he's just a pathetic broken man who loved his wife but not as much as his own life and perhaps only realized just how much he loved her after he committed unforgivable acts against her.

I love that he's haunted by her even as he knows she's alive. The haunting did not stop after his finding out.

This whole scene was amazing, where he does talk to her in the flesh and she confirms to him that he's nothing to her.

I loved this confrontation for her because she deserves to live free of her past and her pain but for him it's a different kind of liberation - a bleak one but one nonetheless - she is alive so he did not kill her after all, but he's dead to her and he can't even console himself in her past love, not really. She's not dead but she might as well be as far as possibility of ever being together is.

Love him walking through his own music video afterwards.

The thing is, her being alive has dispelled some of his guilt and by that restored some of his sanity but it's not good news for the princess because now the man who's snapped is playing with all his own (bleak as fuck) marbles. With the confirmation of her being alive on top of the confirmation of her understandable hatred and on top of long realized confirmation that the princess doesn't like him or love him or even care if he lives or dies and just wants to torture him for kicks, and with any sort of hope or fear tormented out of him, this is a man with nothing left to lose but a hell of a lot of plans for revenge of his own.

I mean, look at this scene, where he's kneeling in the cold/snow all night. These are some serious Tantai Jin eyes here.

And when he goes in and she keeps slapping him, there is no fear, there is no shame, there is no self loathing, there is not even mute endurance, the way there used to be. This is a man who is letting a lunatic vent as needed to get whatever he wants done.

I mean, look at this man as he says this to the princess. He's barely bothering to conceal how false his words are even if the killing intent is very real. If I were her, I'd sleep with a knife under my pillow but she's so demented she doesn't get it.

Instead she pokes him some more, another confirmation as to how she doesn't see him as human.

Lady, this is the face of a man who would like to wear your skin as a cloak. You are so epically DUMB!!!!

He's got more human emotion imagining his wife than in the whole above scene. And once again, I love love LOVE how he's haunted by the woman he very much now knows is alive. Because what's dead is his chance at happiness and his happy marriage and any real path forward.

It is SUCH an unusual take on the usual villain from past life/evil spouse our FL must overcome and I love it!

[glassica]

Surprise boyfriend

Notes: M!yan x F!reader, non-con, sexual language, cursing, pregnancy trapping, blackmailing threats

"Hey Y/N, heard you go out with Ray right?"

You spat out the remaining cold brew. You? Go out with whom???

People must've assumed you were into him after seeing your exchanges at the party. But you swear that wasn't that serious at all! You were just fooling around to kill time!

- No. Who told you that?

- Ray posted about you all over his insta. Yeah right you don't use that app... But what do you mean you two aren't dating!?

You took one look at your friend's phone. Lo and behold, countless pictures of you and him holding hands and acting all lovey-dovey like a real couple. Your brain juggled through the hazy memories to see when the selfies were taken but oh dear, you were so drunk off the mind on that night to recall everything.

- Ray, excuse me. Do you have a moment?

- Sweetie I always have time for you. What do baby want from me now? ~

His cheesy line brought shattering earthquakes to your brain. God this man had zero shame, or you had been cursed to carry the embarrassment baggage on his behalf. "If we were alone I'd rip his ass off right instant." - you thought. "And I'll never have time for your goofy ass."

- I believe you misunderstood our relationship. I must've said something deceitful to you during at the party and I'll take responsibility for that. I don't plan to date you or anyone, Ray. I'm so sorry for misleading you.

You spoke in a remorseful tone. Though not able to recollect what nonsense the mouth had blabbered, you felt like owning him an apology regardless. Kids this was why you should never let peer pressure get to you and drink over limits, you never knew if one day you accidentally being entangled with some jackass.

Surprisingly Ray's expression didn't seem to fazed for a bit. On the contrary, the grin on his face got even more ominous and deranged, alerted your sixth sense that nothing coming out from this man was any good: It was a grave mistake involving him in your life.

"My baby wanna break up with me? Oh sweetheart how could you abandon me like that? Have you forgot your little promises to me about love and loyalty? Didn't you say I was your type, that your greatest wish was to be wrapped in my arms every night and showered your body with plenty of kisses?"

Freak. Weirdo. Creep.

How could anyone breath in the same direction of this guy and not get their skin crawled for a second? You were both amused and pissed off witnessing this whole circus show, wondering how out mind you were last Friday to be attracted to this walking joke of a man.

Get this over quickly, or you would end up committing some atrocities on that stupid face.

"I wasn't sober at the time. I must've been spewing rubbish. I'm really sorry for lying to you Ray, but can you please take down those pictures?"

"Why should I? I need to show off everyone my Sweetie's already taken, so that no one could touch you. Besides," - Ray tucked his head over your shoulder, the eerily off-putting grin grew even wider as he whispered softly to your ears, "those pics aren't the only proof of our unshakable bond."

He trailed off, calmly put a hand on your belly.

Your mind went blank.

"BITCH! YOU FUCKING RAPED ME!?"

"Now now. You hurt my heart, Sweetie. How could you accuse me of such heinous crime when all I did so much to give you such good time on bed? And don't lie, your pussy was cumming hard for my crotch. I still can recall those pretty little buds-"

Just then, Ray felt a burning heat on his left cheek. You were done. Completely dropped off manners. Eyes flaming with disgust and resentment while both hands clenching fist furiously, you became a wild animal determined to chew off its prey to the bone. You didn't care about anything else, any consequences after, your absolute goal at the moment was to tear this asshole to shreds.

But Ray was infuritatingly nonchalant, cocky even. He wasn't bothered for a bit when facing your wrath. Rubbing hand on the reddish cheek, he continued:

"Don't you believe you can brush your hand away from me, love. I don't like anyone seeing my angel in her purest form, but I have no problem releasing those clips."

A sadistic chuckle let out of his mouth observing the bloodthirst drained out from your face. If you didn't want him as your prince, then he wouldn't hesitate becoming the big bad villain tainting your life forever.

Ray caught your lifeless body in a loving embrace, just like that Friday night, and many more nights in the future.

[fea-resources]

Unhinged Discord Commentary As RP Starters Pt. 1

*throws sparkles everywhere* This is how you cheer someone up, right?

There's some places you don't want sparkles.

Shame on the lame.

I didn't run into a wall this time. I ran into the fridge.

How can one go through life never saying words like "sexy" or "sexual". Like, what else would you say? "Intercoursy"? "Intercoursal"?

Okay but where are their NOSES.

Why is that cute? Science explain please.

RABBIT STEW FOR THE RABBIT STEW GOD.

The horse confirmed for a necrophiliac.

Let the bear and horse be together.

Horse x Bear forever.

He's a slut. All you need to know.

Slap a sexy bunny suit on his ass. Go. Live out your dreams.

He's a slut, not a stripper.

*throws a brick* Stay down this time.

Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

Hey good lookin', what's cookin'? Get it? Because I'm an arsonist.

I'd really like to thump your bible.

I'm agnostic but damn I'm pretty sure that's blasphemy.

You'd be surprised how many are curious to taste human flesh.

Well I didn't say he was a slut without talent.

That may be but [Name] just might kill him with embarrassment first.

He never counted on SEX APPEAL. Should've sent a lesbian, not a gay.

Oh, I'm still gonna fuck with your assets. Emphasis on the Ass.

Well that's good. I hear murder is frowned upon.

THIS IS NOT WHAT I WAS PROMISED. SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME OVER.

You tell me. You're the one tryna serenade me to bed and then stab me, ya kinky fuck.

I trusted you! …not sure why since we, like… just met.

CLOSE YOUR EYES SO I CAN KILL YOU.

Are you telling me you don't want adventure, glory, and best of all, FIERY DEATH?

Adventure and glory sound nice but… I don't know about that last part. I'll get back to you on that one.

The answer is "Yes" cuz let's be real, bards only immortalize the ones that die.

In other news I didn't think it was possible to almost choke on a hiccup yet here we are.

"You had accountability issues as a child"… wait, do you actually think I outgrew those?

I probably committed more blasphemy than anyone else in that whole building but damn it was fun.

One day [Name's] gonna hit just the wrong nerve and I'm gonna grab that scarf and strangle them with it.

Let grandpa bemoan his age.

May the salt be with you.

The mosquitos never bother me and everyone asks why and I tell them its because I have too much salt flowing through my veins.

*chugs a whole jar of pickle juice without breaking eye contact*

Consume them. C O N S U M E.

I changed my mind, that's Plan C. We're skipping B.

That was bad and you should feel bad. But I know you won't, so I don't know why I said it.

I've been laying here like a jellyfish on the beach for an hour but sleep is just not happening.

Yes, I had to. I would literally die if I didn't do it. I'd explode. Poof. It'd be awful. [Name] bits everywhere.

Wanna help me shove a slut into a volcano?

Man, I almost didn't have to be a Top for once but SOMEONE. TRIED TO KILL ME.

I would say to stab [Name] but then I remember that he likes it.

I'll bet a dick up the ass that you can't beat me.

Don't fuck where, fuck me.

…thanks. I totally. Feel so much better now. About my impending doom.

Man, it really sucks down here. I pity you, small man.

Small enough to reach places in a time of crisis? Yeah, except in the crisis of reaching the top shelf.

Well I know what rabbits do to anything that holds still long enough. But do continue.

Needs more well-cooked faces.

Now I know why my parents sheltered me.

*confused rabbit squawking*

That may be so but I'm not the one with a thing for the head fucker.

Instruction manual: do not buy the [Name] pet if you are not prepared to say "god damn it" at least twice per day.

This is going to get me killed, oh god yes.

HOW DARE YOU SSS-SSSSS-SSSS-SSSPEAK THE TONGUE OF MY SSSS-SSS-SSSSSSSS-SSSNAKE PEOPLE 🐍

I salted my head off to Hell and back the other day so now its your turn.

Hold my acupuncture pins.

Fuck them and rescue the high horse they rode in on because that horse doesn't deserve to be ridden by them.

It's mid-June, yet I can't feel my toes.

Just chant "shadow no shadowing" three times. It worked on the dog.

I had to read it three times because the first two times I read it as "his mum is IN the ground" and I was like… wow, that's dark, and then I realized it said his mum IS the ground.

Hey, I'm not judging, except… no, wait, I'm totally judging.

Don't know what you're talking about there, Salty McSalterson.

So you know that one night in minecraft we were rushing to get back home and got ourselves and the path blown to Hell by creepers? I went to fill those holes in and guess what shows up as I'm working on filling them with no way out.

I'd say they should put their dukes up but tell them to put their leggies up instead because that's all they have.

So would this be a bad time to say "its the thought that counts"?

A baby? I don't have time for a baby. I can barely handle my own job. Babies are trouble. Put it in the mailbox and send it back, and if I see a head or a leg sticking back out, you are gone.

Devour him! ...Imeanwhat. Sorry, what, no cannibalism here.

They seem like a Diapers-Until-6-Years-Old kinda person.

Can we be like. Drugged-pot-hippies-but-not-really-high together?

Earlier I was like "I'm worried" and another person told me "you need to stop worrying, it's concerning".

Bright eyed and bushy tailed is a squirrel on crack.

So… death = normally taboo cuddles and affection? I should die more often.

Cuddleslut Mode Activated.

Help me sink [Name] to the bottom of the ocean. I don't know where s/he went wrong but I'm ending them.

I'm sorry that s/he's probably gonna corrupt the shit out of [Name], but conversely, [Name]'s not sorry at all.

'What AREN'T we up to?' is a better question. What we're up IN is the answer.

Screw you and your fricking long legs!

Listen to that wind moan. Wind doesn't have hands but it does blow.

Maybe a chair to the face will quiet them down.

So where do I get these highs you have? It must be nice.

I have no idea where my highs come from. They just pop in and serenade you and then sneak off the next morning like a filthy hoe after a good night of steamy sex-- I have no idea what I'm saying anymore A LO HA OOOIIIIII...

Don't you dare moan you sinner!

[theshiniestgemstone]

You've heard of dad Gideon, now get ready for step dad! Gideon! Also fondly known as Gideon x single! Mom reader. Reader is working on a project for the church and she and Gideon really hit it off. Maybe Gideon even going to grandpa eli for advice? If you got time for this I'd appreciate it, if you do thank ya ❤️❤️

i'm always up for a good stepdad fic hehe

"Granddad, can I ask you a question?"

Eli looked up from his whiskey. He'd only had about ten minutes of peace, but for Gideon, he'd allow it. "What's on your mind, son?"

Gideon took a deep breath, taking a seat in the adjacent lounge chair. "I took Y/N on that date like you said."

"Where'd you take her?" Eli asked, setting his cigar in the ashtray to his left.

"Coffee. Some place downtown." Gideon smiled fondly.

It was a nice date. One of the best he'd ever been on. She was ten minutes late, frazzled and obviously nervous when she said she had to drop her son off at the nanny share and then hit traffic. Gideon will never forget the look on her face, like she wished to swallow the words immediately. To try and diffuse the situation, he asked what a nanny share was.

Eli listened, nodded at each new detail. "Sounds like it went well. What's the problem?"

"She sent me this this morning." He slid his phone over.

Eli picked up the phone with a grunt, squinting at the screen. His brows furrowed as he read the message, the corners of his mouth tightening slightly as he absorbed the words.

“I had a really great time yesterday, Gideon. I’m not sure if I should say this or not, but I feel like I need to be honest with you. I’m not just dating for fun anymore. I don’t expect anything from you, and I’m not asking for a commitment after one date, but I have Charlie to think of, and that means I’m not really in a place to waste time or confuse him too much. Just… wanted to say that upfront. I understand if that’s too much.”

Eli read it twice. Then a third time. Slowly, he set the phone back down and reached for his whiskey.

“She ain’t wrong for saying it,” he said finally, voice low and even. “You asked her out. She showed up. Told you the truth. That’s more than some folks manage in a lifetime.”

“I know,” Gideon said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just… I didn’t expect to like her that much after one date. And then she says that, and now I feel like- I don’t know, like I’m supposed to make a decision I’m not ready for yet. About being someone’s dad. And I don’t want to hurt her.”

Eli nodded, quiet for a moment. “Ain’t no shame in bein’ scared, son. You’re young. You’ve been runnin’ from a lot for a long time. But you sat through a whole cup of coffee with a woman who showed up ten minutes late and told you she had a kid, and you still smiled talkin’ about it.”

Gideon didn’t respond.

“That tells me everything I need to know.”

“But what if I’m not enough for them?” Gideon finally said. “Her and her kid. What if I mess it all up?”

Eli gave him a long, measured look. “Then you try again. And you keep trying. 'Cause if you’re waitin’ to be perfect before you love somebody, you’re gonna be waitin’ forever. She gave you her truth, Gideon. Now you gotta figure out if you’re man enough to give her yours.”

Gideon stared at the phone like it might answer for him.

“I think I want to see her again,” he said quietly.

“Then call her,” Eli said, settling back in his chair and taking another sip. “And next time, bring somethin’ for the kid too. He’s part of the deal now.”

Gideon’s lips twitched. “Yeah?"

Eli grinned. “I think you’re already tryin’ to impress him.”

+++

"That looks amazin'," Gideon said, standing just inside the nursery doorway, arms folded over his chest, voice full of quiet awe.

You glanced over your shoulder, smiling as you wiped the back of your hand across your forehead, leaving a faint streak of blue paint in its wake. “Thanks. I want to finish it today. Been working on it all week.”

The mural stretched across the far wall, a forest in soft pastels, gentle hills, a winding path, and the beginnings of birds taking shape in the branches. A world pulled from your imagination, coaxed to life with brushes and long evenings.

Gideon stepped in carefully, avoiding the open paint cans and rumpled drop cloths. “It’s beautiful. Feels like you could walk right into it.”

You smiled again, cheeks warming. “That’s the goal.”

There was a beat of quiet, filled only by the soft scratch of your brush on the wall.

“I was thinkin’,” he said, voice a little tentative, “maybe we do that second date. If you’re still up for it.”

You looked over at him, slightly caught off guard, but not unpleasantly. “You’re asking me out while I’ve got paint in my hair?”

He grinned. “Figured it was now or never. You look cute covered in color. Kinda radiant, actually.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile. “Okay, fine. Yes. Let’s go on a second date.”

“Thursday?” he asked, hopeful. “I’ll pick you up. Something casual. Or fancy. Your call.”

You shook your head. “Thursday doesn’t work. Charlie's soccer practice night.”

He nodded, already thinking. “What about Friday?”

“Work late,” you replied. “Tuesday’s good.”

“Tuesday it is,” he said without missing a beat. “I’ll text you. Pick you up after dinner?”

“Perfect.”

He stepped a little closer, then reached up, brushing his thumb over your cheek where a streak of blue paint remained. His fingers lingered for a second longer than they had to.

“You’ve got a little something,” he murmured.

“Occupational hazard,” you teased.

He smiled. “Well… leave it. It suits you.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for outing my sisters (SECOND) pregnancy and causing drama

I (20f) am aware that accidents happen, but she doesn't even know the man to her (22f) first (thusly no child support is involved in this equation). Discovery of this information is due to me being the one that does the bathroom trash. It was... not well hidden, to say the least.

Pure flavor and context, our relationship would be less rocky if she had any sense of responsibility at all. From 15 onwards constantly out of money yet up the ass of every hangout/party in town, constantly trying to make it anyone else's job to keep her entertained. Has very much dropped out of college for #1.

But, actual event wise... I get to the trash can, and I'm thinking... oh god, not again. And so soon? Because baby #1 is about 10 months (male if it matters) at sending. Mom has already bent over backwards to handle this without destroying *my* attempts at college, and there's not a doubt in my mind my sister would have gladly gone "Surprise! Not my problem now🎊! " if I'd given her the space to do so.

Phrasing it like that feels mean, but it's been 98% mom doing it all. Diapers, feedings, you name it. If it's not cute enough for social media my sister has not put her hands on it. In my moms fantasy world this was to give my sister the chance to go back to the local college.

Now at first I didn't actually plan to say much of anything. It just... seemed risky in a way I didn't want the backlash for. But a friend of mine and her girlfriend were moving, and their planned roommate bailed, and I do very much have a job an can pay rent. The nitty gritty is way more complicated than that but I'm trying to not bog this down.

I waffle for a couple of days as I process the whole thing but I commit to thinking later and acting now about moving and by what's month 1.75 I'm planning what posters of mine to take/leave. There's been a second confirming test popping up in the trash.

I have to tell my mom, finally, that in three weeks to a month I'm gone. Slightly unsurprisingly, I get asked "Well, why? Why now?"

I did kind of think through it in advance, but honestly every other small reason just... left me? I choked HARD and y'all know the blank "ohshit" moment where you've got Nothing.

It was a messy conversation and I'm skipping a lot, but thankfully dad and sis were out to not hear it. She didn't fully believe me until I walked out the door to the new appartment, and it didn't end there technically, but I just sorta grey rocked it with the sole give that I think mom is going to collapse over this because she's not twenty some anymore chasing *us*, and I think mom wasn't processing it either until I was out the door.

Final stage, I've packed and am seconds from leaving. Mom asks one final question of "What exactly would you suggest here, if it's real, then" in that tone where it's not about getting real answers, it's about shaming me. She is scathingly told to make my sister homeless about it if she doesn't abort, so that it'll maybe motivate her to at least get child support if not put a stop to the slope of shitting them out like litters.

Roommates are fine thus far, but I'm introverted and don't really leave my room unless I need something so the space for conflicts are minimal. So I'm a week into the new apartment (thusly she's 3 to 3.25 months pregnant) when I get a heated, ranting phone call. I sure hope you can figure out who's calling that's *mad*.

First of all apparently I'm a cunt for taking the joy of announcement away from my, as she tried and got "We know." Because that is so fucking important for a college drop out on kid #2 to have, apparently.

More interestingly I'm apparently a double cunt because mom had been toying with asking me for rent, as my sister doesn't work either and babies are expensive. This was not aired to me by mom herself, but even if I hadn't asked her myself afterwards I wouldn't have doubted that part.

And I'm apparently a mega triple cunt, because (as I turned around to interrogate mom about because. What?) mom had a crystalizing moment where it did very much click to her that my sister had no intentions of stepping up in anyway shape or form. Why she's jumped straight to "you abort or gtfo" like I suggested to be an asshole didn't get cleared up to me beyond "No, no. You're right. Responsibility must be taken."

A different friend has asked where the fucks my dad in this; spinless with no opinion because if he dares to dissent he'll implode. Moving on.

I think that while I might have jumped sharks everyone else is now on a plane of drama that I don't need to follow, and should in fact be kept the fuck out of. I also think I've also hit an anger stage of this whole situation so trust in my own narrative should be cautious.

I'm gonna, like, pause the emotional train here? And mention that I'm not asking about moving out. I'll be guilty about moving out specifically when my sister sucks my dick for forgiveness (note my 20f label). But this has dropped an emotional bomb in the family and my friend groups interconnected enough that they'd've heard about it even if I said nothing, and this is now hotly debated (and most of my friends are on mute on my phone lol), and by now it's no secret the ''make her homeless'' idea first came out of MY mouth, no matter how mortifying it is that it was taken seriously on impulse arguing about it is about seven steps behind where the debate needs to be.

Again, I'm at the point of anger feeling good. She gets irresponsibly knocked up once already, drops out of college and refuses to get a job, and then runs off and does it again after dumping all real work onto other people. I think she's lost the right to have happy fun time pregnancy, and I'm here to get a (late) opinion from people decidedly more objective than anyone I can speak to rn. It's not like the pregnancy won't be here in the time this takes to move through queue.

What are these acronyms?

[licorice-and-rum]

More Snape Slander guys!!!

Lol, I truly, really love having a reason to add to my already 15-pages-long rant of Snape Slander, so let’s go:

Okay, I’m going to be posting this as a different post but this is an answer to some arguments that someone made in this post (I’ll tag them below, I just hate to have repostings on my profile - or, if any kind soul could tag them I'd appreciate, this is their post, read at your own discretion [it's terrible, though], I really need to get some sleep rn). If you’re interested in reading more about my not really favorable view of Snape, there’s also my character analysis here.

So let’s begin, shall we (oh, and by the way, I am as educated as you were with me)?

Interesting that you think that my post is bullshit, love, because I think your arguments are ludicrous, to say the least. I wasn’t going to bother with a response but I think it’s only right I add some critical skills and point out that many of your points are already taken care of in my original post – something you’d know if you had read it and understood it.

Anyway, your whole argument is based on the fact that no legal system would consider Snape guilty which… okay?

Because the judiciary system is completely fair and absolves only people who should be absolved. It is not at all used as a political tool to advance the very corrupted system we all live in, as noted by the contrast between the speed with which the ICJ issued Putin’s prison mandate but delayed Netanyahu’s prison mandate for months. It’s not like most of the people locked up in jails in America are black and poor despite the criminality rates showing white men as more likely to commit crimes such as rape, child abuse, kidnapping, and feminicide.

It’s not like every and each judiciary system serves a capitalist political agenda. A very white, patriarchal, European political agenda.

And about that, which judiciary system are we talking about? Mine? Yours? The UK’s? The International Court of Law? The wizarding world's? Because of course, there’s a difference between all of them and even if you’re right, what does it proves? What does it prove that a white, fascist man with connections to the most privileged in the society (rich purebloods and Dumbledore at the same time btw) would be absolved of his crimes in a system that also privileges him?

Because it does privilege him of course: we’re talking about a system of oppression that is ingrained in the wizarding world, why would it be any different from the real world? Snape was fighting for the maintenance of a system that is corrupted (and this also includes the judiciary btw) and to keep on the status quo, especially when he was a Death Eater but also when he was on Dumbledore’s side.

He might not have been targeting muggleborns as he once was when he was young but changing his choice of victims doesn’t change the fact that he’s using his societal privilege to continue the oppressive system and cycles of abuse he upholds so perfectly since he was a kid. A fucking role model, to be honest.

I mean, using his teacher position to condone bullying and terrorize children, who are a social minority and are in a position of vulnerability in relation to his place as a professor? Ring any bells?

And don’t come with me with the “but he saved them all the time” argument. He took on that role because he wanted to, he did it because he chose to, and as a professor, it was his responsibility to care for his students’ wellbeing (not that he does much besides keeping them alive for enough time to traumatize them on his way out). I imagine what a role like that would entangle in a magical school where children have potential guns in their hands all the time – sounds a bit like a security hazard to me even without the whole genocidal maniac persecuting one of them, to be honest. It’s like a parent wanting laurels for actually doing their responsibility, it’s shameful.

Or, I don’t know, using his higher position in the social hierarchy to expel the only competent teacher of the children he was supposed to look out for because of his lower societal status as a werewolf and continuously using that to make them feel bad in Order reunions, over and over again using his privilege as a non-werewolf as a tool to express his well-placed resentment?

The legal point of view is the real bullshit.

“He paid his debt to society” and now he’s free to do whatever the hell he wants because he chose to take vengeance on his ex-best friend’s murder (that he also had a hand in) even if it means that he gets to use his privilege against others exactly like he did in the past – just not on muggleborns because last time he did it, his feelings got hurt. But *these new marginalized people* he can beat up because that’s not the same thing at all.

You say that “redemption within society isn’t about changing your ideology” but forget to question why. Is it perhaps because the people who are actually let go always seem to be the fascist one who upholds what capitalism needs them to uphold? In contrast, of course, with the people who actually do the right thing regardless of legality and are persecuted their whole lives because of it.

Plus, you don’t take into account what is the effect of it, right? Why should we ever worry about someone’s ideology if they paid their time? It’s not like their ideology reflects on what they think and how they act in and affect society. It’s not like it can do any harm by perpetuating and encouraging these beliefs by, I don’t know, taking a racist education and using it to argue in favor of colonization and occupation of non-white countries because your group has been victimized by the same people that think you and those non-white communities are garbage, or taking on a job that involves children and condones bullying and slurs being thrown at the marginalized kids of his school.

Of course not.

And you say that “the system Rowling portrays isn’t fascist because it lacks the economic and social foundations to support that definition” but forgets also that it doesn’t really matter whether is a bad or good representation because it’s still a representation of it. You can’t smell smoke, feel your eyes burning, suffocate on it, and say there isn’t a fire because you technically weren’t burned.

It's like denying there was a State coup in Brazil in 2016 because the impeachment had “legal ground” (which it didn’t by the way): it’s a lazy attempt to grasp at technicalities to escape the very obvious truth that, regardless of the argument (or, in this case, the literary representation) being good or bad, the facts remain the same.

And the fact is that Rowling wrote the Death Eaters as an analogy to fascism (nazism, actually, but let’s use the general term), and as such, most of the fandom interprets it and internalizes it that way. Thus, her negligence of the societal and economic portrayal (although I would question the need for an economic portrayal in a children’s book) does nothing to further any argument at all, not when the truth is that it doesn’t matter that the portrayal is lacking: it’s enough to be understood as such by the masses and thus it becomes a moot point to make.

Severus and every single Death Eater is a fascist because they propagate, believe in, and are violent in the name of fascist ideology. That their group is not represented as a populist movement or that the wizarding world is not on the brink of its economic collapse to sustain that populist background is of little consequence to the average reader and their interpretation of the problem.

Plus, fascism is a concept that should apply to any social variation of the same movement. You sound like my college professor saying my class should call Bolsonaro a fascist because fascism is a concept used in a very tight set of rules – which is bullshit.

Although I had already taken all that into consideration in my previous post. You’d know that if you knew my arguments.

Now, you said that “redemption is about regretting what has happened and paying for it” and that’s interesting because, you see, that’s not what it is at all, not in every legal system, nor when we’re talking about narratives and writing.

In Brazil’s legal system, for example, our judiciary system is about social revitalization. Prison is not a place we send someone as a punishment, it’s not about paying a debt to society or being punished for what they’ve done. It’s about giving them the tools to not repeat their crimes once they come back to society, and that’s not a test Snape would be passing anytime soon because redemption from being a fascist would be to let go of fascist views.

In writing, on the other hand, an author has certain control over their character, which means that their portrayal is the author’s responsibility. A Redemption Arc is not about judging someone’s actions and applying a penalty, it’s about allowing your character to develop substantially throughout the narrative. They need to go from what they are in the beginning to a better version of themselves throughout the rest of the story and that’s certainly not what happens to Snape.

Again, refocusing your bullying to fit other vulnerable groups does not equal betterment in any way, shape of form.

Oh, I really love this one: “His ‘sentence’ was 17 years of self-imposed prison and life-threatening service, which is far more than any collaborator with a terrorist group would face in any real-world court.”

Seventeen years of which exactly 14 of those he spent being a professor in the most important schools of magic in the UK, being respected by his community, well-fed, having a probably copious amount of galleons in his bank account to do whatever the hell he wanted to, and still wallowing in his own misery and self-imposed (as you kindly pointed out) emotional torture living in his childhood home to go back to a castle and bully children at his leisure instead of bettering himself as a human being and actually putting some work towards self-improvement as to not, I don’t know, perpetuate cycles of abuse that ultimately led him towards that mess of a life he got for himself.

You’ll excuse me if I don’t find his journey that impressive from where I’m standing. He made his bed, he can sleep in it or try to do something about it. And, to be honest, I have little to no respect for people who do nothing about their own misery.

Then, he used three and something of those doing something useful but ultimately a sorry attempt at a Redemption Arc. Snape’s big, bold actions in the name of his love for Lily are not something I see as useless, they’re pretty heroic but it doesn’t matter because that’s not what my character analysis is about.

What I try to bring to light (and what you sincerely lost in the reading) is that there is no Redemption Arc for a fascist unless they are no longer fascist at all, and even so, there is some degree of immorality in portraying them as redeemable at all. But if you’re gonna attempt it, you need to be responsible and actually redeem them, ideology and all.

We’re talking about a book, a narrative that will be read by thousands of people, that will be example and insidiously have an effect on how people see the world. Condoning fascist ideology because they don’t persecute *this specific vulnerable minority* anymore (ignore that they do persecute others btw) and did some heroic things for the “good side” because they felt wronged by the “bad side” and not really for basic human decency is not impressive. Or worthy of praise.

Or basis for admiration.

And as for your account on “In any real-world war, he would not only have been honored and considered a national hero—he’d have a hundred movies and documentaries made about him. He’d be an icon.” – so do countless others who are not even remotely deserving of any kind of admiration or having their memories preserved in that sense.

I should know, the number of novellas and documentaries and songs and History lesson materials and street names in my city alone that are homages to “national heroes” that “helped” the poor people or some other minority while massacring indigenous peoples, selling out our land to big corporations and the agribusiness, censored and persecuted artists and journalists in their time, and so on are actually crazy in Brazil.

National heroes are only national heroes because they serve the political narrative our system needs them to serve, darling, otherwise, they are forgotten and even villainized, make no mistake of that.

“Politically, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to call a working-class boy a fascist when he ends up in a nest of far-right extremists simply because they’re the only ones who treat him well”

Interesting that you should mention Snape as a working-class boy – like class traitors don’t exist? Granted, the expression is mostly used to define cops but that’s no different, although I would call it a bit hypocritical of you to use Snape’s class to defend him when you accuse (rightfully so, of course) Rowling of not portraying well the economical part of fascism.

And “the only ones who treat him well”? Really? Lily apparently doesn’t exist in your reality. Or better yet, you’ll tell me she’s not a good friend and didn’t treat him well enough and all the misogynistic gross and stupid points snape apologists make when you’re scrambling to save your fave? Please, if that is it, spare me.

Oh, and by the way, the part you didn’t read at all on my very thorough analysis:

“The truth is, even with all the undeniable good Snape did as he worked as a spy, he was a Death Eater for his conviction, and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter why he chose to become one.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter that he was neglected and abused by his parents, or that he was bullied in school, or that his crush didn’t reciprocate his feelings: he still became a Death Eater, he chose to become one. And that is unforgivable. It is unforgivable because it means he supported and actively worked for a system of thinking that ridiculed, persecuted, tortured, and murdered hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people. He advocated for a political view that has no regard for human life, that perpetuates the abuse he suffered firsthand — just in a slightly different direction. He didn’t just not break his cycle of abuse, he actively perpetuated it. Advocated for it.

And don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying here that the abuse Snape went through isn’t important at all: there is definitely something to be said about the preying of supremacist groups for young isolated men who feel left out and emasculated. But that doesn’t mean Snape gets to be absolved for his own choices because that’s what they were: his choices. He chose to become a Death Eater, he chose to uphold the cycles of abuse he had been a victim to not long before, he chose to protect it even in the face of people — good people — telling him that it wasn’t a good thing.

That’s my point, actually: Snape may have been preyed upon by the blood supremacy ideology as a teen but at some point, he chose to be influenced by it more than by millions of other influences around him. He wasn’t completely isolated or ignorant of the world to the point that the only influence he could possibly choose was the blood supremacy one, no: he had people telling him the contrary and still chose to follow blood supremacy. So, no, it’s not forgivable that he chose to become a Death Eater because he did know better than that, his very friendship with Lily proved it.”

Oh, and let’s be very real here: “the rich, left-leaning aristocratic kids bully him for not meeting their social standards”

First of all, I brought the Marauders into my analysis as little as I could because I could destroy Snape’s character without even needing them. Now, if bullies like James and Sirius are actually better in their “social standards” (human decency is more like it, actually) as you so nicely put it, then I have no idea why you bother to defend Snape at all. I don’t have time, nor patience to explain that believing people are equal and deserve equal respect is the most basic thing you can do as a human being and if Severus doesn’t even manage that, his class or trauma has little to do with it, his character on the other hand...

Many people have trauma, as I already pointed out, and many people were lulled by fascist ideology but not all of them chose to give in to it. His choice is his responsibility, don’t ever deny that or fool yourself into thinking it’s some kind of forced brainwashing. It isn’t, and even if it is, it doesn’t matter as much as the fact that he’s an adult who should know better than to condemn people to die or think less of them because of things they cannot control.

And even entertaining you're crazy notion that Snape's not actually a fascist (he is) it doesn't really matter if he believes it if he joins a group that advocates for it.

Plus, you should really start thinking about what kind of idiotic ideology you tolerate just because of “trauma”. Fuck him and his trauma, I couldn’t care less if Snape was bullied because he lacks human decency because the truth, so eloquently put by my fellow countryman, is that “a fascist’s hat is a hammer; all suffering is not enough; and the swastika has to be hit until it turns into a pinwheel.” And by lovely miss Lyudmila Pavlichenk: “Not men, fascists.”

And yes, I think anyone left-leaning is better than anyone in the far-right any time of the day, not really sorry if I actually understand politics and how important it is to preserve the lives of people in a system that is designed to leave them in an indecent condition. A system that Snape fought to preserve ideologically and politically for the earlier years of his life without so much of a written recognition of the real garbage it all is.

Plus, let’s be very clear again, I wasn’t talking at all about the Marauders when I criticized Snape. You brought them into the discussion, not me. I could very well cite other characters who are not as terrible as Snape or bullies like teenager James and Sirius (and I’m gonna ignore that you included Peter and Remus into the ‘aristocratic’ and ‘rich’ context because I don’t think even a Snape apologist would be that idiotic although your hashtags beg for me to think otherwise), and still manage some fucking human decency despite their traumas.

Garbage is that you think, at fucking 28 years old, that fascist ideology is somehow tolerable, or that the legalities of some situation actually account for something other than the political structure of the system, or that admiration equals the deserving of it. Bullshit is you thinking that you can actually beat me on technicalities and that you believe advocating for tolerance over the intolerable is somehow admirable, is to be naïve enough to think the legal system doesn’t obey a political agenda and therefore benefits whoever is on the winning side, which to Snape was both during the two times he was a spy.

He was the one who had nothing to lose, darling. He had no family, no one that he cared about, no one who could even stand him, no one who would mourn him - all through his own merit by the way. And to be honest, no one to pity him either. It's pathetic that that is the truth because he chose so, that the only thing that "saves" him are a few memories of an abusive friendship.

He was nothing to be admired and never evolved as a human being. He gave himself to a cause that kept him commode most of the time and acted only out of the fact that he was wronged by the other side. The fact that if it had been Neville who was chosen he would never have turned is shameful as a human being, the fact that he only kept his students alive but never really took into account their wellbeing is shameful as a professor, the fact that he hated Harry because of all of it is childish and unbecoming for an adult, the fact that he bullied children is shameful as an adult.

And none of that was redeemed because he was a spy. He could be a spy and a fucking decent person. But he wasn’t, and he wasn’t by choice, so fuck him.

And, to end with this tiresome and, honestly, easy as fuck to refute, tirade of useless arguments, “What I’m saying is that I don’t give a damn about moral niceties.” – Clearly. Just as clear as your ignorance of what “moral niceties” really mean in this context.

PS: look, 22 pages now! I’m expecting more to be added…

PS2: Tbh, you'd think this person thinks the only people to ever fight Voldemort were the Marauders for all they seem to argue

PS3: This person really confirms everything I know about the relativism of European people for dangerous and prejudiced political views.

[xstarkillerx]

Because I'm in procrastination mode today aperantly, you know what else I've been thinking about? My dear, sweet @anakincentric. Pretty Blade, this is for you because I love your version of anakin so much &lt;3

Tw: dead dove do not eat

We've talked about this before but I honestly love the idea of being anakin's little baby and having a dirty blog where you reblog porn gifs and talk about all the ways you get fucked into oblivion by him. Anakin knows about it of course, but he isn't nosy, you never have to worry about him snifing around.

It's a rare bout of confidence (stupidity) that leads you to ask if he wants to see it, and he honestly wouldn't have paid it any mind if you didn't immediatly backtrack. All red in the face and turning away, looking like you just realized what a bad a idea that would be and well... now he's gotta see what's on there. So, he settles you in his lap while you log in and make a big fuss about hiding your password from him. As soon as you log in there's already a gif of some big brutish man shoving his cock into a girls tight asshole, and you're whining all over again about how you change your mind and "do i have toooooo." Anakin doesn't budge. You wanted to show him, and he knows all this fuss that came after is an ill attempt at reinserting shame where it has no business being, so you proceed to your blog, pretty and pink as expected.

See, it's not so much the gifs of pretty little girls like you getting passed around and wrecked, or the videos of pussies getting stuffed full by inhumanely large dildos that you reblog, it's the paragraphs upon paragraphs you post, they're fucking filthy, kind of gross, honestly. You can feel his eyes scanning the page, his little huffs of amusement, his gentle squeezes on you arm when something was particularly vulger. You're getting redder by the minute.

"I didn't even know you knew that word, Aivela-"

"Daddy, we can stop now." Your little hands are grasping tightly at his shirt sleeve, resisting the urge to tug his hand away from the computer, you've had enough.

"No, keep going, what's that? Oh, that's a long one, you wanna read it to me?" Your nails are close to ripping holes into his sleeve, you know this one, you know this one. You shake your head, craning your neck to look up at him and give your best pleading look, it only solidifies his interest. "Come on angel, I worked all day I'm tired. Read it."

And you do, quietly, full of shame, stuttering. "Today my... Today my d- dad caught me by suprise. Mom was doing laundry in the basement while he fucked me upstairs in the livingroom. I had my headphones on, music blasting when he pushed me over the arm of the sofa and pulled my..." you flail your arms, too flustered to continue.

"Come on, I wanna hear what your dad did to you."

All you can bring yourself to do is hide your face in the crook of his arm. "you know already it's you!" you stretch every vowel, whining and cranky, he can tell you've had enough. Anakin continues reading in his head, dropping the odd comment here and there and stroking your hair while your face remains hidden against his chest.

"Oh my," "no, baby that's fucking dirty, I don't remember it like that," "you slut, is that why you asked me to say that again? wanted to commit it to memory to tell are your perv followers about it?" Every one made you squirm, and when he finished he gave you a kiss on the head with a laugh. "You like telling them them I'm your dad? Look at me, is that what you post on your little blog all day?"

You nod, looking about close to tears when he pulls you in for a kiss. He laughs like it's the most amusing thing in the fucking world, endearing even, regardless of how fucked up it might be.

"They just eat it up huh? Bunch of fat old virgin fucks in your dms?" You nod, too shy, too overhwelmed to tell him about the wealth of unasnwered anonymous asks you have stockpiled you telling you yeah well if I was your dad I'd molest you too, and no wonder he touches you he's got a perfect slut for a daughter. Love the stories <3. Those are for a different day.

[mysticmiav]

I wanna talk about Inej cuz GOD I love her so much. Her intro scene is one that I think goes not talked about enough which I think is a crime against humanity and I WILL be making my case your honour so buckle up.

This concerns scenes from SoC as well as CK, so be warned, a load of spoilers ahead.

So in that first chapter of SoC we are introduced to this absolute badass of a girl. She walks silently, steals secrets and defies gravity. The name they call her? The Wraith. How badass is that? God spared yall (and maybe even me but especially my parents) cuz if I was still doing gymnastics I would've broken my ankle trying to be a fraction of as cool as she is cuz fuck you Newton and fuck your gravity laws.

She is smart and quick witted; the whole scene at the exchange, Kaz counting on her to take care of the second guard, knowing she'll figure it out and manage, and her indeed making it on time.

But no, not only that. This deadly storm of a girl not only holds this guard at knifepoint, saving Kaz's ass from an embarrassing plan gone awry, being shot and possibly even death. She goes on and says, and I quote, "I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time for it."

????? Weird way of asking for my hand in marriage but all the same, yes.

We get to see that deadly, fear-worthy side of her, we see how she's an actual threat people take into account, cue the slippery edges so as to make her climbs harder (fools really, as if some grease and oil would stop her of all things)

But as if that wasn't enough, we also learn of the beliefs she holds dear and her kindness. The way she hesitates about leaving Big Bol alone after everyone else leaves, torn on saving him, getting him help or putting him out of his misery, and ends up sparing him a parting prayer.

She's someone who's been through unimaginably lot of shit, never seemed to catch a break, from being literally ripped away from her family, sent across the ocean and sold to the menagerie, a never ending stream of painful and shameful experiences in her life as an indenture there, and then trading that life for one of killing and stealing, and despite it all, despite all she's gone through and all she's seen, she holds dearly to her faith, to her memories and her hopes of better days, of a world free from this kind of pain. Arguably even more so because of her experiences.

She wonders if her Saints would forgive her if she took Van Eck's life not out of necessity, but out of revenge. Either way, she was willing to spend a lifetime of repenting and take that chance.

But even beyond that, she's faithful beyond belief. Jan-if I ever commit a hate crime it'd be against this miserable excuse of a man-van Eck, while not having actually broken her legs (although his only reason for stopping being Inej's words) it was evident he was willing to, he was going to, and he made it clear he still might on the next day if she doesn't talk by then.

Fast forward to the one and only "I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you," scene (am combusting as well I know).

I find it to be heavily implied which lengths Inej was willing to go before Jan managed to draw a word out of her; her asking Kaz if he would have come for her when she couldn't scale walls or steal secrets for him anymore implies, in my opinion, what she already saw as the outcome of her captivity at Van Eck's hands. She already was thinking of that future, not just because of that growing, nagging doubt of her role in Kaz's life (whether she really was only an investment or if he'd cared in any way more than that about her), but also because no matter what, she wouldn't have given her crew away like that. She already made up her mind; she'd give that icky bastard some locations that had nothing to do with this, and Jan could break every bone in her body but will find no words of hers helpful, and I just worry of and for that girl.

She made that six-story high climb up a burning chimney with a tight time span, she climbed silos that are twenty storys high with an even tighter window of time, she walked a wire on that height and would've walked many more had things gone according to plan (thanks, Dunyasha), she climbed up shipping containers with a knife stabbed at her side, more or less to ensure she did her best for the crew that was counting on her. She would rather end it herself than find herself captive in those enemy's hands, this playing both into her loyalty as well as her history with captivity and what it meant for her.

She is the Wraith, with a reputation that proceeds her, and she also knows how crucial her skills are, how much her crew depends on her, how many of the plans center on and are weaved around her abilities, but she is also fully aware of her limits, fully acknowledging of her betters (Dunyasha you scare me, genuinely). She is religious and holds her faith very dear, but has made peace with the lives she's taken and will continue to take.

Many people see her as Dirtyhand's Wraith and fear her for her association with him, for his uses of her and the things she does at his bidding, but she is scary in her own light and I don't think people should fuck with that.

When she came for Pekka that night, carved in knife right above his heart, promised him a second slash if he thinks of coming back to Ketterdam, she made the once-proclaimed king of the barrel remember pain and fear.

And as if that didn't shake the man enough, she also made sure to replace his son's lion stuffed doll with a fucking crow, so that he'd see it when he inevitably ran to check in on his kid amidst his blood and panic. She gave this man enough mental damage to warrant endless psychiatric help and a lifetime of cowering, fear and paranoia (totally warranted am 100% in support)

She wears her heart on her sleeve; not in the sense of being naive, but in the sense of not being scared of displaying her emotions and thoughts. Her sentiments aren't random, because she always made it clear she cares for the people around her, she will go out of her way to protect them at her own expense and she will nurture those friendships she's built. Her suli subverbs and beliefs don't come off as a surprise, not to anyone around her and not to us as readers because she proudly displays her faith.

Many times, it felt like people, even Kaz, saw her faith as her weakness, something to be exploited, her sentiments something to poke fun at and use to taunt her with, but it's what makes her stronger. It's these thoughts and feelings that keep her going and keep her fighting. It's these friendships and heartfelt moments that she pushes herself over the edge for, and it's that dream just out of reach that rekindles her spirits even brighter than ever, and there's something so beautiful and heartwarming in it and about her that I can honestly spend this new year dissecting and talking about because am insufferable with a rotting hyperfixation. Why are you still here? Jkjk thankyou for reading this brain vomit of thoughts see you in my next tedtalk maybe. Btw if it wasn't glaringly clear I love SoC and Inej lol

[dark-side-blog3]

How would you rank the six Jojo leads from the OG continuity from worst to best to end up with?

I'm gonna take this as an add-on to the would you rather game from before, so the answers will be super self-indulgent, and yandere.

Short answer is I would prefer to end up with none of the yanderes, at least not the jojo's. But in terms of damage, I suppose Jonathan is the safest, and Giorno is the worst. It should be Jolyne because Stone Ocean is more dangerous, but Giorno skeeves me out more. Jolynes only so low because everyone around her would instakill me.

+++++++++++++++++

Jonathan is a milk toast of a man. He's unthreatening, because of his noble code. If I got isekai'd, the worst Johnathan could possibly do to me is just have me associated with him, because Dio would fuck me up just to mess with him. In which case, I'd either have to avoid Jonathan so hard Dio can't target me, or I'd have to glue myself to his side so he could protect me from Dio. Which would be what feeds into his tendencies, but they're not really dangerous, so I suppose I'll just have to suck it up.

Joseph is funny and charming, and in earlier parts, he's cunning and witty. He leans heavily into the bad boy heartbreaker persona, so the idea that he's going to be possessive of his partner wouldn't seem out of the ordinary. And all of these would make him the match if it weren't offset by the cheating. How Suzie didn't kill him, I don't know. Her patience is infinite. I, on the other hand, would kill us both. Until then, he wouldn't be too bad.

Jotaro and I would fight way too much. He only wants to talk about his interests, and I can't shut up about my interests, and there is zero overlap between the two. There are only so many times I can endure a Clint Eastwood marathon, and there are only so many minutes he'll let me talk about pinnipeds or linguistics. I couldn't care less about the actual crimes he commits, but the clash of interests would be what makes him the (second) most unbearable.

Josuke has never faced long-term interpersonal consequences to his actions, which means that he'll be genuinely surprised if I stay mad at him after a fight. He nearly beat Okuyasu to death and they're best friends. He punched a hole through his mom and never got in trouble. So why am I still mad at him a week after a verbal fight that didn't even get violent? The world will never know (I will tell him every day, he just doesn't want to hear it). The only reason I wouldn't try to piss him off too much, like saying I got isekai'd and I can't stay in Morioh, is because I've seen Angelo. I choose to not be a fucked up rock Josuke does shameful things with.

Giorno is fucking creepy if you don't hear his internal monologues; which if isekai'd, I wouldn't be able to. I'm with Abbacchio on this, I don't trust this motherfucker. He just stares as people get injured in front of him, and waits until the last possible second to help them, and he's so obviously scheming behind those eyes. I would avoid him like the plague, even if I somehow got involved with the mafia. He's just so... Weird. And calculating. Giorno isn't the only smart jojo, but he is the most intimidating for his intelligence. The vibes are just so rancid on him... I'm throwing myself into the Tiber before I enter this narrative.

Jolyne is a puzzle. I'm not sure what I'd do if I got isekai'd... Do I avoid her and avoid the ire of Anasui, or get my ass beat by the enemy stand users literally everywhere? Not to mention the regular people who just happen to be in a supermax, who will probably prey on me for being an easy target. I'd be totally lost in terms of what to do. At least with the others, there's a hope of escape, or playing my cards right to utilize them. But I don't think there is a good strategy with Jolyne except carefully slotting myself in the toxic friendzone, and hoping for the best. At least it shouldn't be impossible to do.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

RE: your last ask... I'm a different anon, trans in the other direction heh. Finding which path bears the most fruit is... So difficult? I'm currently on the waitlist for top surgery and I haven't told my parents yet- it's going to cause so much anger and grief and I don't know if I will be able to maintain a relationship with them. They're very progressive for reformed protestant christians otherwise, moderately leftwing, but something about transness sets off my dad in a way I do not understand and he refuses to explain, he just storms off and says he "can't follow me on this path". So... Yeah. Idunno. Transitioning feels selfish, but I also NEED to do it, so I'll go through with it, I just always wonder if it's gonna be the final nail in the coffin for my faith.

previous ask

I feel for you — it can be hard to discern which way leads to good fruit when you are in the liminal space between the tree planted and the tree fruiting. It can also be really really hard to determine what exactly the tree is: In your case, are potential negative responses to your transness / top surgery the fruit of transness itself? Or is the tree transphobia?

That is how I consider things: When trans people are free to live as themselves without transphobia and cissexism involved (hard to experience these days), the fruit is new life, new energy, new community, new thriving. It is only when those anti-trans reactions enter the mix that the results are instead rejection, violence, and grief.

That is why I firmly maintain that any bad fruits that come from living out our transness are coming from transphobia, not transness itself. I will share my personal experience, while aware that I am extremely lucky and privileged to have parents who were never afraid "for my soul," only a little incredulous about nonbinary genders at first and then concerned about how it would affect my quality of life.

When I told my parents I planned to get top surgery and would appreciate their support, by dad and mom both responded with different flavors of bewilderment about why it was necessary. My dad kept talking about how my body shouldn't matter (typical view of a white, cishet, able bodied man). My mom told me she couldn't offer any financial support to the surgery itself because she thought it was a mistake I'd regret, and a waste of money.

But over the year following my top surgery, they witnessed my transformation: my new energy, joy, willingness to get out of my comfort zone. And they moved into full support.

My mom also originally grieved over my name change, because my birthname was meaningful to her and she felt like I was distancing myself from her by changing it -- but within a year, she gave me the nickname "Aves," and fully supported my legal change when I finally got around to it.

Ultimately, my parents' support and affirmation through calling me the right name and pronouns, and even challenging their friends when they say anti-trans shit, has brought us closer than we ever were before while I was in the closet / completely unaware of what it was that made me feel so disconnected from society.

The affirmation of transness yields good fruit. It is transphobia that yields bad fruit. As the late, great Rachel Held Evans puts it:

"If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?"

All this to say: I am so sorry that you have been made to feel torn between your gender and your faith, between transness and your parental relationships. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are, to experience yourself as the holy, beloved person you are. But if you feel you must choose — choose life. Choose surgery and whatever else you need to be you.

I pray that the other things will follow — that your loved ones will witness the good fruit of your choice, and finally be able to follow you into joy. But even if they fail to recognize what is clearly evident, I pray you will feel the presence of the LIVING God who wills abundant life for you.

[growingextwink78]

Our relationship is unconventional, to say that least. I'm a grandfather, you're a college boy. You've felt your oats, whereas I was married to a woman for a long time before she passed. I've raised five beautiful children, you are younger than all five.

Yet when our eyes met across the bar, there was a click.

Our relationship started in earnest that night. I took you home and promptly told you that I'd never been with a man. You laughed and helped me through it. Together, we experimented. You shared what you liked, and helped me figure out what I liked. It took time, it was awkward, but eventually it worked out.

Our relationship was not out in the open, because neither of us knew how we wanted to present it.

But that was okay, it was special, it was just for us.

As a young college boy, you were just getting started. So I was happy to be generous. I've been successful in my career, and loved to help with my grandkids. I added you to that rotation.

We didn't go out to dinner too often, but that was okay. I loved to cook. I loved to have you help me.

Time passes. We talk about what our future looks like: is this just a college fling for you and a post-midlife crisis to me?

I know how I feel. I know it's not just a fling to me. But I don't want to push you into anything.

After some months together, I notice something: you're putting on relationship weight. You were a bit soft when we first met, but that didn't bother me at all. I work out like a fiend, for my own mental health, so I don't really worry too much about trying to keep meals within a certain caloric range. But you're not as used to my cooking, I recognize. And now you're carrying a nice starter belly.

It doesn't bother me at all. I'm not even sure you realize it.

One morning, though, after we've showered together, you catch a glimpse in the mirror. You're getting fat, you realize.

You react with horror. You're angry - some at me, some at yourself.

You're in tears. What does this mean? You're too young to be fat, you've always valued your looks…

I sit down next to you. I hold you. I tell you that you're beautiful, you're sexy, and maybe you have a belly now but that doesn't make me any less attracted to you.

Then I confess something: when my wife was pregnant, she was the horniest she ever was during our marriage. In the weeks before she gave birth, she was insatiable. I have so many treasured memories of our times together before the births of our children.

I turn to you and say that, with your belly, sometimes it reminds me of the joy and exuberance and love I shared with her, and those particularly horny memories when she was round and ready to pop.

You don't quite know how to respond, and I don't know how to feel about this confession. You walk away, tell me you need to head to class. (Trying to have these conversations in between your college schedule is interesting for an old grandpa like me.)

I'm convinced I'll never hear from you again. I leave the house for my own commitments.

That night, I arrive home. It's dark out. I haven't heard from you at all.

I let myself in, and I notice a smell. It's food.

I walk into the house.

At my dining room table is an enormous spread of food.

"I tried cooking and failed, so I ordered in," I hear your voice say. You walk into the room.

The shame you felt earlier is gone. You're naked. You're glistening, like you've rubbed yourself with oil.

You sit at the table, and pull up a chair next to you. You beckon me down.

"If my being fat reminds you of a memory you treasure so much, then I think I owe it to you to get as pregnant looking as possible."

I'm unsure how to respond.

You smile. "You're going to feed me all of this. Then you're going to take me into the bedroom and get me pregnant."

"You… can't get pregnant?" I say, confused.

"I know, silly. But that doesn't mean you can't try."

I sit down. I'm not sure what to do.

You, as always, help me. You help tell me what to do to fill you up.

It's easy to see that getting full is turning you on. Before too long, it's turning me on, too. I no longer need you to guide me.

Before long, I'm stuffing you. You're moaning, asking for more. Your belly is distended, your dick is hard. Mine is, too.

Finally, you say, "Enough."

You look at me. You smile.

"Take me to the bedroom and fuck me till I'm pregnnat."

So I do. I can't get you pregnant, I know, but something has clicked in my head.

We wake up the next morning. You're still distended, and we've made a mess. You look at me and ask if I enjoyed myself.

I'm enthusiastic. "Of course."

"Good." You smile. "Let's do it again tonight. And the night after that. And so om."

"Really?"

"Yes. I've never felt sexier than being fed and fucked by you last night. That's what I want. And if you're in…"

It isn't a straight line, of course. We don't and can't do it every night. I want you to stay healthy, so we plan things out and set reasonable goals and boundaries.

But our relationship blooms. I'm a widower grandpa, a loving dad to five, and approaching my retirement. And I'm in deep, passionate love with a college boy who's growing fat thanks to me.

this is so weird but hot omg the only thing missing is all the gifts you will spoil me with 🤭