#creature being a fucking nerd

[honestcreature]

tumblr is going to tear me apart for ruining their yuri dreams

[honestcreature]

THIS IS NOT TRUE this is not true it’s completely misreported and undermines the actual reasons for the decision for the chair.

it was supposed to be lesbian but the chair thing was ALWAYS the plan, regardless of the gender of the love interest. the reason for the chair is complicated but regardless much different

basically the chair thing was a way to subvert a traditional romance. i think this is where it gets lost in translation/misrepresented a lot? because people think he means subverting a traditional romance by having it be lesbian. which is not what he means at all.

The original interview all of this stems from he said “In order to not make it too much of a romance, I decided to make her primary interest a chair.” He talks at length about being tired with the genre of romance in general. He even goes on to say “I think it would also work had [Suzume] been a boy or had she been non-binary, It's not necessarily the context of male/female; it's about a human overcoming something. In my future films as well, I want to focus on that human story as opposed to too much commentary on gender or sex.”

Shinkai has even said his original plans for the movie focused on sisterhood, so it’s unclear whether it would’ve been a romance to begin with. He says the plot was majorly altered because of pressure due to the success of your name, which to me implies that the romantic themes could’ve been entirely absent.

In this way i think the idea of ‘he made him a chair to protest not being allowed to make it gay’ is actually kind of damaging to the emotional impact of the story. There’s a LOT of symbolism in Souta being confined to an inanimate form- ever wonder why there’s 3 pillars, and three legs to the chair?

Heteronormative pressures definitely played a role into making the romance plot what it is, but reducing its unconventional approach to romance to a response TO this pressure is kinda reductive.

Sorry if this is way too much or if i sound ☝️🤓 i like this movie an unhealthy amount (i saw it like 8 times in theaters) and i’ve had a lot to say about this for a while

Learning that the movie Suzume was supposed to be a lesbian story but the studio didn't approve of that and Shinkai had the boy protag turn into a chair for most of the movie as a fuck you about it was a bizarre thing to learn but greatly makes one of my favorite movies better

[starry-bi-sky]

bruce and danny being fuckign nerds together,,,, they are being the BIGGEST nerds. geeks. if you will

these losers are color-coding the most inane bullshit. they are making diagrams for things you've never even thought of. they are having the time of their lives

"what are you two doing?"

Danny, sitting criss-cross on a table, hunched over a spread of papers and a bunch of different jello cups, his back is gonna hurt SO much: color-coding jello

Bruce, sitting in a nearby chair, also criss-cross, scribbling on a graph paper: hm [agreeing]

Alfred, already exasperated and SO fond: may i ask why? and on what parameters?

Danny: we're basing it off which flavors are the most mentally stimulating and for which subjects :}

Alfred, SO fond: ah. i see.

Danny, snapping his head over to Bruce and leaning over: wh- no-- no. Buzz, I told you: lemon-flavored jello stays strictly in the 'smelling salts' category--

Bruce, still writing on the graph paper: mn. no.

Danny, nearly sprawled across his back, faux-outraged: strawberry is NOT good for math-- you fucken HEATHEN--! Give me that pen!

Bruce, did that solely to rile up Danny, now trying not to smile: hnm.

[foldingfittedsheets]

A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.

When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.

It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.

Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?

Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.

It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.

I stabbed him with his own pencil.

I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)

That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?

The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.

This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”

I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.

By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.

I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.

All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”

“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”

Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.

Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”

My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.

After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[rubitheracoon]

GUESS WHAT THAT ALIEN LOOKS LIKE ITS BASED OFF OF A REAL LIFE EXTINCT EARTH ANIMAL

I fucking forgot what it was called

I can't believe that actually worked

aparently in the latest fantastic 4 comics johnny storm has been in a relationship with an alien, and that would be pretty standard affair for marvel heroes, right.

except someone at marvel with fucking balls of steel and the biggest brain in the known universe made the alien look... actually alien

this is the greatest thing ive seen in my life, is almost enough to make me want to read the comic

[keferon]

Did I spend two hours writing this? Ha! No, why do you ask. *lying through my teeth* anyway come here Mecha au Texaid enjoyers. come get yall juice.

———

Vortex isn’t sure when it started. Doesn’t even dare to try to pinpoint the when, why, where and how of it. Just that it exists. Some forgotten feeling stored in the deep recesses of his somewhat intact consciousness that has resurfaced. It burns him, tears down at the steel walls he had formed around himself. Makes him feel like he’s being broken down then built up again. 

It’s a wonderful, terrifying feeling that eats away at him the more ‘he’s’ here. The more that secretly unhinged medic-turned-pilot crawls into his cockpit, every time getting more comfortable with connecting with him literally and figuratively. With Aid slowly coming to not outright radiate hatred with every encounter. Sharing stuff like music, who they couldn’t stand, and answers to the most stupid questions like ‘wha’s your favorite color?’. Vortex had cackled at Aid for that one.

At first he rejects the feeling. Stops it at full force, imagining it going through a trash compactor or being incinerated to ash. He makes himself believe it’s a game. Empty threats, flirtatious behavior and cutting banter puts him at the top 5 of First Aid’s Most Annoying Motherfuckers to Ever Exist list. A tidbit of information he is proud as fuck of.

But that denial came to a stop the moment Shockwave had stepped into his hangar while Aid had been in his cockpit, his visor the only shield to keep that creepo from getting near him. Vortex may have been a homicidal maniac, but there had always been something about Shockwave’s presence that made him feel suffocated even back when he was alive. It took some silent processing to realize—and goddammit he hates himself for it—how afraid he had been. Not so much for himself but for the little flesh bag hidden away inside him. 

It had rocked him, that’s for damn sure. When Aid had asked what made him different from all the other pilots Vortex had disregarded and killed, he answered truthfully at the time. ‘You treat me like a threat, like I’m the one in control of this power instead of you.’ And while that still held some merit, it changed kind of. ‘Threat’ turned into person. And the power that he holds became more and more of Aid’s. How easily Vortex was swayed into giving into Aid’s requests. 

The first one being to dissect that Quintesson. He had reveled in the way it squirmed and screeched, trying fruitlessly to get out of their grip. Vortex considered to simply rip it in half for fun, until he felt something from the connection in the drift. A sort of fascination and curiosity quietly humming through the link. Took him longer than he’d like to admit to realize it wasn’t coming from him but Aid. A drive to know how this creature worked, how to best take it apart to examine its insides. And before he knew what he was doing, Vortex did, cutting it as neatly down the middle as he could manage. He remembers the shudder of excitement from the link, at how different that alien was, how this information could benefit battles in the future. The bombardment of information and feelings had shocked him, though he of course didn’t show it, but it also sent a thrill of wonder through him. ‘This freak’ he had chuckled to himself, feeling as Aid leaned out from his cockpit to examine the creature.

After that he realized how dangerous this was. The power Aid unknowingly held over him, and all he needed were his words. But he found that he didn’t care all that much. Especially not when Aid would sometimes fall asleep in his cockpit after a grueling mission, and Vortex would snap his visor at anyone who tried to get him out. Moments like that made him wish he still had a human body. To flick the nerd’s nose, to ruffle his hair, to playfully shove him. Thoughts like those made his non-existent heart throb, sickening himself with those sappy sentiments. He will never mention this to Aid, you’d have to rip it out of his cold, dead conscience.

Standing in the hangar, he’s not sure when he had decided this promise to himself. Doesn’t even try to pinpoint when. But he knows that if this little ant ever died, he wouldn’t stop destroying everything in his path until he either killed the one who had done it, very slowly at that, or deactivated with vengeance still roaring through his circuits. 

OH I LOVE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH KFKFNFKDNHDKRKTNRJRMT

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[thistlerock]

Pretty privilege is real because if Riz started handing out business cards again it'd be well (or at least less badly) received because he's hot now. This is extremely funny to me. Honestly anything relating to Riz having stumbled ass backwards into being hot (He's not even trying. Fabian is furious slash lighthearted abt that one.) and not really caring about it all is peak comedy. To me.

Like think about it. If you're his age or younger and this Goblin kills someone really well because that's what he does, and he adjusts his tie and pulls a business card out of his vest and he's covered in tattoos (and if it's after combat I guess there's a decent chance he's a little bloody too) and his hair is dishevelled but looks good now and he hands it over casually because he learned how to social interaction at some point and has +9 to persuasion and just goes "Riz Gukgak, private eye." What the fuck. That's not "kid that's gonna get bullied" anymore this is cool now. Only hot people are allowed to do insane shit like give out business cards without being in an appropriate setting. I think it helps that he's actually licensed now lmao but you get the point. Also somewhere here I have to acknowledge that if you're not a small creature it might be less cool. But it probably works on some medium folk still. My point still stands it's like, the vibes aren't cringe failure anymore.

Fig or honestly Gorgug randomly brings this up while they're chilling and then they have to test it out and force Riz to do it several times and he plays along at least for a bit because he loves his friends and Fabian swoons as dramatically as possible and they don't let it rest (and hey that might have honestly flustered him a little bit and The Ball is not supposed to be able to do that. What the fuck happened.) Riz does not understand what the big deal is but apparently the cringey thing he did in middle school is suddenly cool now and he could "get some" (ew) if he wanted (he absolutely does not). He can't decide if his friends are just crazy (not unlikely) (Adaine isn't being weird about it but she's also not saying the others are insane so that's a bad sign. Gorgug isn't being weird about it but he agrees. Oh no.) or if he can never hand out a business card to anyone under the age of twenty again (not that he was planning to I think he had a bit of a career shift. But. Y'know.)

Honestly I think Riz in general had a little trouble after the whole vibe change because now people's perception of him is different, and therefore he has to interact with them differently to get the same reactions. There is a point to which he can't get the same reactions. Like, adults he doesn't know seem to think he's a little less trustworthy now (it's hard not to believe some obvious nerd loser is being earnest. It's harder to believe that the tatted up cool guy has the same attitude) and he has to deliberately proof he's a good boy (mostly). People his age are less inclined to brush him off but also take his bluntness as either a challenge or weird flirting or maybe both when it was just him being blunt and awkward before.

He clocks it after a few times and adjusts, and all it really takes is a slight tone adjustment because it's not like, a huge difference, but it's weird that there's a difference at all. He didn't really think rolling up his sleeves and wearing his tie a little looser and bedazzling himself with rings and bracers would make him seem that much less like a social loser but apparently it does. It helps that he has expertise in persuasion but at first he doesn't realise his "I need to learn how to be palatable" self-training screwed him over in a weird backwards way.

Riz is a weird guy. Social cues are more like, clues to him. That he has to rigorously watch out for and piece together like a puzzle. He can absolutely do it, and he excels at it nowadays, but it didn't come to him naturally and took him. A while. In middle school he definitely didn't get it. What's instinct to others has to be a conscious thought process for him, idk, have i mentioned that he's autistic. I know this, trust. I kinda lost the point idk man.

Being autistic and aroace and falling into some weird niche of attractiveness and also being weird and awkward as shit but "cool now" is hard. Suddenly people approach him in different ways than before and sometimes he doesn't even get it until his friends tell him because it was something completely new and then he has to learn new clues for those specific settings because apparently it's different at a party than at school. All in all weird experience socially. But Riz enjoys puzzles so maybe this can be enrichment or something, who knows.

[hitracks]

Can we see a c! Wilbur design maybe? (If you're chill w/ it) Or Technoblade and Philza?

I’m planning on doing a whole separate ref for Wil at some point so I will do both Blade and Philza for you… im really really normal about Techno like really serious I promise you. ( <- lying through his fucking teeth. ) LOTTTTS OF DESIGN PARTICULARS WITH HIM. I deviate a lot from his skin ( for one I get way too engrossed with drawing animals so humanoid it is. ) but I make his outfit more errr. Flashy…? Also southern inspo all over this bitch. as a southern man myself I am forced to give him ( modest ) matador esque pants and a bolo …. I think putting him in that is hilarious cause the closest things piglins have to bulls are fucking hoglins LMFAO. Imagine him in a Nether rodeo … terrifying … Away from design in general I love his character sooo much. I think its important to keep his funny nerd qualities when designing him. Like techno is a beast with technical skills and combat but if you ask him to sit in a room with more than about 3 people he starts sweating. Make him a little loser guys … hes got like one friend total and lives in the middle of nowhere in the snow as a Nether mob. Nothing normal about him. No bitches and no gains …

PHIL …. ghh … I have an unpopular take on him because i dont find him very fatherly. Hes more like an estranged uncle who dgaf about his kids. Shanks from one piece if you will. As much as I like his dynamics, for his character I feel like people are constantly glossing over the fact he isolates himself on purpose away from everything and everyone so he doesn’t have to deal with it … Him and Techno are so close because 1) They’re both crazy fucking good at everything and 2) Neither of them WANT to interact with others outside of themselves usually. Techno most often times only talks to people for his own personal gain or when he has no choice … Philza just get dragged into everything cause Wilbur is like a damn blight on the world. IDK! I wish people made him more aloof or terrifying because the concept of him is so genuinely freaky like hes got spies everywhere all the time and could or could not be immortal or some sort of biblical creature like THATS SCARY!!! I tried to mess around with him being green and the Minecraft equivalent of souls ( exp drop when you die ) being the same shade-ish …. Hes just some eldritch horror to me. Not explainable by mere words…

[klaus-littlestwolf]

Nerd!Klaus Loses his Virginity

A fic requested upon me asking whether people prefer Human!Klaus or Hybrid/Creature!Klaus. I suppose some people love the way I portray Human!Klaus-Yandere or not.

Warning:Smut, massive breeding kink! Public sex (school library-both are 18 and of legal age), titty sucking, loss of virginity

Once Marcel found out that Klaus had never had sex, suddenly everyone knew and even people he had never spoken to a day in his life were giving him pitiful looks. Apparently even hiding himself away in the Library isn’t enough to keep him safe but maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing…

It was almost immediately all over the school.

Marcel had found out that Klaus was a virgin and for some reason he thought it was hilarious. He told his boyfriend (who had never really liked Klaus) so he told everyone else and not an hour later people were talking under their breaths and jocks were laughing at him as he walked by.

He was humiliated. He didn’t really care about being a virgin but everyone pointing and laughing was awful. He got enough abuse at home, school was always his safe haven, now it was just as awful minus the bruises.

Now here he sat in the library of the school, not even the librarian sticking around-having gone out to lunch and left him alone.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ A soft voice spoke and Klaus turned his head to see Y/n behind him with a sympathetic look. The blush that warmed his face was a whole new kind of humiliating! Klaus has had a crush on Y/n since they were 6 years old and now here she was, staring at him on the worst day of his life, ready to make fun of him like everyone else.

‘Go ahead. Get the joke out, what virgin joke do you have prepared? I guarantee you I’ve heard it at least 3 times today.’ He grumbled, burying his face into his knees.

‘I’m not gonna make a joke, Klaus. That’s pathetic! Also, just so you know-Most of the assholes making jokes are bigger virgins than you are. Don’t listen to any of them.’

‘That’s easy for you to say, you’re-‘ Klaus stopped himself before he could finish sentence, a blush overcoming his cheeks.

‘I’m what? A whore? You know, I really didn’t-‘

‘What?! No! Of course not! I-I was going to say beautiful! My God Y/n, you’re fucking gorgeous!’ Her eyes went wide and a smile quickly grew on her face.

‘Really? You-Klaus Mikaelson-think I’m pretty? Klaus who has Caroline Forbes and Camille O’Connell fighting over him Klaus thinks I’m pretty?’ Klaus rolled his eyes at that one.

‘They’re both pretty but they’re both whores. They’ve fucked almost every guy they’ve ever been alone with-I don’t want STD’s and I don’t want a girl who only wants to fuck a nerd cause they’ve never done it before and they heard that “Nerds do it better”.’ He joked, Y/n giggling as she moved to sit down beside him.

‘I have heard that but yeah, they’re both kind of slutty, aren’t they? I can’t help but be jealous of them though, they’re so beautiful, how could someone like me not be jealous. Just because I like heavy metal and wearing dark colors doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be pretty Klaus, I’m still a girl…’

‘No! I didn’t-Of course you are! I…Y/n, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever set my eyes on! My God! You’re fucking stunning! You take my breath away every time I see you in the hallway! I am completely in love with you! How could you think for a second that-‘ Klaus cut himself off-slapping his hand over his mouth as he looked up and realized what he had said out loud. ‘Oh shit…I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that out loud-those are inside thoughts…Fuck!’ He cursed, jumping up quickly and turning to grab his things when his arm was caught and he was pulled back, hands taking hold of his cheeks before he suddenly had warm lips pressed to his own for the first time ever. He completely froze, not moving or responding in any way which he quickly realized was wrong when he was released from her grip, her face pulling back and looking terrified for a second. Klaus could see she was about to panic and he didn’t want that, moving to lean forward and press his lips to hers once again. The kiss was soft and unsure but as a moment passed without her pushing him away, Klaus’ confidence grew and his hands found her waist where he pulled her to him and pressed her body against his firmly.

‘Don’t stop?’ She mumbled softly as he pulled back.

‘Y-You want me to keep going? Really?’ He wondered before feeling her hands trace up his chest and around his neck where her arms stayed, wrapped around him which gave her the leverage to pull him back and press her lips back to his own.

His confidence was quickly growing as she was clearly enjoying their current activity making Klaus decide to take control and see how she responded. He lifted his hands and placed them against her ribs just as he pressed his tongue to her bottom lip-asking for entrance which she promptly granted. Klaus immediately loved that she didn’t hesitate.

Y/n wasn’t like other girls, she had always dressed darker and listened to different music-which in a small town didn’t afford her many friends-or any at all really. Klaus however, he’d had a crush on her since they were in 2nd grade and they were partnered up on a project where they had to make a paper Mashet volcano. Klaus had watched as she pulled her thick, dyed black hair back into a high ponytail before painting the diorama. That was the moment he remembers as the moment he fell completely in love with her and he has wanted to run his fingers through her hair every day since that moment.

He decided to take the chance while he has it, one hand staying on her ribs and the other moving up and tucking her hair behind her ear before moving to settle on her back where he pulled her closer so that her chest pressed up against his. He could now feel her breasts against his chest through his shirt and almost instantly his cock began to swell in his pants prompting his groan in the back of his throat. He held her tightly to his body before backing up to where he knew his computer chair was, dropping into the seat and dragging Y/n down with him, pulling her legs around his waist so that she straddled his lap.

Klaus gasped as he felt her grind her hips down against him, her crotch pressing against his cock which he could feel practically leaking precum. He decided to take the chance while he has it and he moved his hands from her waist up to her chest. Klaus was the biggest virgin in existence-he had never even had his first kiss until this moment-so the idea of seeing let alone touching a boob was foreign to him but he wasn’t going to waste the chance while he has it.

He cupped them in his hands and was pleasantly surprised by how heavy they were. Y/n’s breasts weren’t huge but they weren’t small by any means, he had stared at them many times and observed how perfect they were every time she wore a low cut top. He had just gotten the courage to squeeze them gently in his hands when she pulled back from him, instantly thinking he had harmed her.

‘I’m sorry! Did I hurt you? I didn’t-‘

‘No! Stop! It’s okay…Do you want to see them?’ She asked, looking down at him and watching his eyes widen in surprise before he nearly gave himself whiplash from nodding so quickly. He leaned back against the chair, hands on her hips as she reached down and took hold of her band shirt which she pulled over her head quickly, leaving her in a red, lacy bra.

‘You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life…’ he mumbled-more to himself than to her but she heard it and loved him even more for it.

‘Do you want to take it off?’ She asked and he paused, hesitating only a moment before she took his hands and moved them behind her, helping him remove the first hook before allowing him to do the other 3 before pulling her bra off and dropping it to the floor as his eyes were locked onto her chest. ‘You can touch them.’ She allowed and he did not hesitate, hands moving to cup her breasts in his hands, her skin was so warm against his palms before he moved his hands and pinched her nipples between his fingers making her gasp. He looked up at her to see her head back and eyes closed, clearly enjoying his teasing her nipples and he decided to just go for it, leaning close and taking a nipple between his lips, sucking on it hard. ‘Oh Fuck! Don’t stop Klaus-Please don’t stop?’ He had no plans on stopping any time soon. He suckled on her nipple harder, rolling the other between his fingers, his other arm wound around her body and held her against him tightly. ‘Oh God, Klaus! Fuck, I want you inside me so bad!’

‘Hmm?!’ He grunted out a strained questioning noise as he heard what she said.

Her fingers tightened their grip in his hair as she held him to her breast, his lips sucking hard. ‘I can feel how big you are against my crotch…do you want to fuck me? Do you want to stick your cock inside of my tight pussy? Imagine how good you’ll feel stretching me out-oh fuck…’ she moaned, her hips grinding against him harder.

‘Stay still!’ He demanded, shoving her away from his crotch and making her whine as he unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down to the top of his thighs with his boxers-allowing his cock to be exposed-hard and leaking precum. He shoved her short skirt up to see her pretty red thong, groaning as he took hold of it and pulled it down, moving her around quickly to get it off so that he could shove it into his pocket, before he pulled her close again and looked up at her one last time. He pressed his cock against her hole, moaning as it slid into her dripping channel, stopping as he bottomed out. He seemed to be trying to gather himself as he stared at where their bodies were connected, his cock twitching at whatever he was thinking about. ‘Fuck! You feel so good Bunny!’ She nodded, whimpering as he rocked up into her.

‘Please? Oh Fuck-Ah!’

‘Shit, you are just a needy little thing, aren’t you?’ She whined, shaking her head but he stopped her. ‘It’s okay, you’re mine now, my needy little Bunny. I’m not giving you up-not for the whole fucking world! This tight little cunt is mine now!’ He growled, thrusting up into her hard.

‘Yours…’ she breathed as he began using her hips to make her ride his cock, his cock stretching her pussy out perfectly. He appreciated her allowing him to take control and keep himself from cumming as long as possible.

‘That’s right Bunny! Gonna cum in this little hole, gonna fill you up so deep, fill this belly with my babies! Fuck! Imagine how beautiful you’ll look with my baby inside of you-so fucking perfect! You want me to fill you with my babies?’ She whined like a needy whore as he suddenly thrust up into her, his cock hitting every spot just right-nearly hitting her womb he was so deep. ‘Tell me what you want!’ His confidence had grown so quickly it was almost dizzying but it was so hot how desperate he was for her that she couldn’t and wouldn’t argue. Y/n had been in love with Klaus nearly as long as he had and she doubted there was anything he could ask her for that she wouldn’t give him. If he wanted her to let him fill her with his babies then who was she to deny him?

‘Babies…want babies…’

‘Whose babies?’ Klaus growled, one arm now circling her waist as the other pulled her hair back to bear her throat for him.

‘Yours! Your Babies! Please?! I want your babies! Please give me babies?!’ She begged, Klaus’ eyes now so dark with lust that you can’t see any blue left.

‘That’s right Bunny! Gonna fill your belly with so much cum there’s no chance it doesn’t take! You’re going to walk at graduation in 2 months with my child growing in your womb…you’re gonna take everything I give you and you’re gonna keep it inside of you like a needy little slut! My needy little slut, only mine! Anyone else tries to touch your perfect little body and I’ll fucking kill them! My! Fucking! Hole!’ He thrust up into her as deep as he could get himself before letting go and shooting his jizz as deep into her body as he could. ‘Such a good girl for me, letting me fill your sweet cunt with my cum. Don’t worry Bunny, I’m going to do it again. A pussy like yours can’t only be enjoyed once, it’s too perfect…I’m going to keep this perfect body all to myself…tell me you’re mine Y/n.’ He insisted but as he said her name she knew he wanted her to agree.

‘Yours Klaus, all yours. Fuck! Loved you for so long-I’m all yours! You can do whatever you want to me.’ She swore and his cock throbbed inside of her, working quickly to get hard all over again.

‘Get up! We’re going to my car!’ He demanded, pulling out of her hole and yanking his pants back on before grabbing their bags. He held his arm around her waist and kept her pressed against his side as they walked out of the library and down the stairs towards the side door.

‘Wow! I’m surprised you’re still here brother!’ Klaus heard his younger brothers loud voice echoing through the halls and his friends chuckling. ‘I would have thought with everyone talking about you, you would have left hours ago!’

Klaus held Y/n tighter as she moved to face Kol, Klaus refusing to let her. ‘Says my virgin brother that complains daily about his girlfriends refusal to spread her legs for him.’ He responded calmly, Kol’s girlfriend gasping before turning and slapping him across the face. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m a bit busy dispelling those rumors.’ With that he pulled Y/n out the side doors and down through the parking lot, tossing their bags into his trunk before lifting her into the backseat that he quickly laid down, placing the pillows and blankets that he kept in here for when he wanted away from Mikael, down on the seats and pushing Y/n down onto her belly before pulling her waist up so her ass was in the air. ‘Fucking Hell! Your pussy is fucking covered in me! I thought I told you to keep it all inside of you! How can I force my baby into your womb if you can’t keep your legs closed?!’ He growled though he contradicted his tone as he used several wet wipes that his sister kept in his car to clean the mess dripping down her leg and pussy.

‘I’m sorry! I tried, there’s just so much-Please give me more? Please Klaus?! Fill my hole more!’ She pleaded and Klaus groaned, pulling his pants and boxers down once again and seeing a drop of his cum drip from her hole prompting him to scoop it up with his thumb and push it back into her before pressing his cock against her once again and thrusting down into her body to fill her for the second time. ‘Ahh! Yes! So full-Klaus!’

‘That’s right Bunny, so fucking full! Never gonna stop fucking you! Gonna force you to take my cock every day, imagine the fun positions I’ll have to bend you in when your belly is full of my baby!’ He chuckled, pulling out and pushing back into her softly producing a sweet whine. ‘That’s my girl. So good for me, taking my cock so well. I’m going to take you home and fuck you all night, no school tomorrow, all weekend you’re mine, this hole is mine! You’re going to be leaking my jizz every fucking second, all night in your sleep I’ll keep your hole plugged up so that I can fuck it back into you the second I wake up in the morning…oh God! Such a good girl for me.’ He moaned, humping his hips down into her as he wraps his arm around her waist and brushed his fingers against her clit, caressing it roughly and sinking his teeth into her neck as she came, her pussy squeezing his dick even tighter than before as she came with a loud cry. He finished once more inside of her though he did not pull out this time, instead he rolled onto his side and pulled the comforter he keeps for cold nights over the both of them-removing the both of their shirts and kicking off his pants to leave them both naked as he snuggled her against him. ‘There you are. I’ve got you gorgeous, just rest now.’

‘The windows-‘

‘Are tinted and we will be gone before school is done, I promise. I would never let anyone see my girl like this!’ He swore, kissing her forehead sweetly and making her blush. ‘God, you’re adorable…don’t you worry about anything. When you wake up I’ll be taking you home with me, next time I fuck you you’ll be sleeping in a big bed. That’s your job all weekend long, letting me serve you your meals in bed and taking my cock inside your tight holes, all you need to do all weekend is eat, sleep, and get this body working on making my baby.’ He chuckled, kissing her head sweetly as he rubbed her belly.

‘You really want me pregnant?’ She asked, a little shocked that it wasn’t just dirty talk on his part but he took hold of her chin and turned her head to look at him.

‘You’re mine now Y/n! Do you understand? I’ve wanted you for years and now that I have you I will be damned if I’m going to give you up for anything! I’m going to have you pregnant as often as I can for the rest of our lives-don’t worry. I’ll propose and you can pick out the perfect ring-I’ve been selling my paintings for years now, you can have whatever you want. I promise-and you promise me a pregnant belly and these gorgeous breasts heavy with milk for my children and I to suck on-I’m gonna suck on these titties forever! I love you Y/n.’

‘I love you too Niklaus…’ she mumbled, pulling his arm around her tighter and cuddling it to her chest.

Klaus set an alarm as she drifted off to ensure they didn’t sleep through school getting out, knowing that he could take her home to sleep as long as she needs.

Y/n was his now, and after all these years of dreaming of this very moment he was never going to let her go!

Klaus M. Masterlist

Fic Moodboard

[sunrisecaminus]

Ask from a friend:

Imagine a one-shot where K.O. accidentally gets a crush on a woman who's a hella nerd for automobiles like they met up at a car show while K.O. was in disguise, and she complements his car, and they start hanging out! It would be so cool if she specializes in paint jobs and does those styles that grew popular in LA in the cholo/ low rider scene.

But K.O. definitely has to come clean, disguise or not, she would be in danger of hanging out with this love struck fool for too long.

Message - This is so cute! I love this request so much!

Knockout x Human Reader

Summary - Knockout showing his true self to his human friend that is a car nerd.

Warning - Violence (Smacking a bully)

Being at this show takes a lot of time and effort. Waiting for all the cars to be parked properly and to be able to show it off to everyone. Good thing about this place is that Knockout is usually the best car, in his opinion, in the show. Yes sometimes you have the nice sleek light up cars, but people just need to realize it isn't about the bright colors and distractions. He wants to show off his 20 hour buffs and beautiful custom tires. Bad part about this stupid event is that he was told to be parked right next to a Ford 150 Platinum Plus. Nothing wrong with it honestly, the nice truck looked brand new with no scratches, but it totally caught more attention and stole his spot light. There was a small light rave in the truck's interior so a bunch of people were surrounding the guy and not looking at Knockout. He was shaking in anger, how could anyone possibly look at him now when he is being one upped?

After about an hour and a half of just a few people looking past his car and walking to the next, he sees another person walking up. They seem to be like everyone else and was just skimming the vehicles, until they set their eyes on him. They seem to gasp and rush over, looking down as the front and observing his bumpers and his headlights. Walking around to the back, the person kept mumbling to themself about how updated some of his parts art. Knockout was finally being complimented the way he wanted and he finally gets to relax and feel like a beautiful trophy.

The guy who owns the ford truck walks over and smirks at the person, leaning on his truck door. "Hey babe why don't you come over and dance? That lame paint job is nothing compared to my new truck bed!" Dammit, why do these humans have to be so cocky? If it wasn't for Knockout needing to stay in disguise, than he would kill him right now. The person looks up from looking at the backlights and glare. "I ain't dumb. Only thing you did was attach some LED lights and brought in your CD player inside to blast music. Screw Off buddy." The person goes back to Knockout and checks out the tire number. Knockout wanted to laugh so hard from hearing that, the guy did only put some cool lights on the truck to look cool. Honestly he thought that was it and the rude human would just walk off after that, but he sees the dude walking closure. He seemed hella pissed off and seemed to not take the insult well. "Hey what the fuck you just say?!" They push the nice stranger to the ground and steps back a bit to wait for them to get up. Knockout hears the pained yelp from the young person being pushed into his lower door. Oh frag no this stupid idiot was not going to ruin his paint job! Knockout swings his door wing HARD into the truck guys face and smacked him to the ground. He closes the door quickly as to not show there was nobody in the car and revved his engine a bit to scare the trucker…but then he saw that he hit the man too hard and knocked him out. Shit, he forgot how fragile these little creatures were.

"Yeah that is what you get you asshole!" The nice stranger gets up and yells at the fainted man. They turn to Knockout and smiles. "Thanks man!" Knockout didn't know how to talk and thinks about it. He rolls the window down just barely to make it seem like he was talking from inside the car. "No problem, he has been annoying since I got here. What is your name my lovely friend?" The person seems to giggle from Knockout accent and way he calls them. "Name is y/n! Nice to meet you sir. Here why don't I give you my phone number?" Knockout feels them sliding in a card and takes a little bow to the head as a goodbye. The human walks off and he scans the card on his diver seat. It was a mechanic business card…omg they do cosmetic shit. He might have just met his new favorite human! Actually his only favorite human.

…

A few months after the Car Show, you have been texting Knockout everyday. He was such a nice, charming guy that made you feel sad whenever he had to go. His complaining about his coworkers were always so funny, hearing about how them annoying him and not letting him work. It was insane to know that he was a medical doctor, and the way he complimented you about being a cosmetic mechanic. Not a lot of people see the hard work of being able to make car wraps and amazing tires. Taking pictures and sending him a bunch of your complete works of art had him praising every detail you put in it.

He had to suck it up and understand that you needed to see him…for who he truly is. You know so much about him that Soundwave is probably going to target you and maybe even eliminate you. Knockout fears the inevitable of you either dying or running away from him from fear. He texted you to meet him at the abandoned car shop outside of the town. He wanted to show you a secret about his "car". You drive yourself to the giant shed and park your car outside of it. Getting out of the car you see that the shed was lit with nice bright lights. Your friend was scared that this was a stereotypical murder scenario, so they forced you to have an emergency button in your pocket. Opening the door, you step inside to not see the red car anywhere. Looking around, you see a few boxes here and there. "Hey." You hear Knockout greet you and turn to see that he was hiding behind some of the boxes. "Oh hi! What are you doing?" You didn't hear a response for a while and it was getting kind of creepy. Backing up a bit, you look to make sure the door was open to escape if you ever needed to. "Im-ugh. This is embarrassing. Look, I know you haven't seen what I looked like before and…I trust you enough to show you." He was waiting for you to say something before he shows himself and hears giggling. "What? I don't care if you look ugly or anything. Don't worry I won't judge." Knockout couldn't help but smile, but he knows you were going to judge him, scream or cry out of fear.

You watch as two bright pricks of light slowly leave from behind the boxes, a face starts to show itself to you. Knockout slowly walks out from the hiding place and shows himself to you fully. His frame shined in the light and his optics stare at you with a face of shame. This was the first time Knockout ever felt…not pretty. He grew attached to this amazing, beautiful, and smart human…and with how massive his figure was to you, he felt like he was nothing but a monster. Knockout tries his best to feel more confident in himself, knowing that if you didn't like how he looked he shouldn't care about you and just forget about someone who would judge him so easily. Unfortunately, he feels as though your opinions were important to him, wanting to know how you feel…even if he might regret it in a few minutes. Ready for screaming, he closed his optics, but heard absolutely nothing. He peaks down at you to see your shocked face, like you were frozen.

What he doesn't know, was that you were realizing not only was he the freaking car, but that he looked honestly really hot. Was he some sort of robot from the government?! "W-wow, you…your a car?!" Knockout sighs and nods. "Yes, I am a species called Cybertronian. We are from a different planet and I disguise myself as your beautiful looking vehicles. Our planet is gone and now we have to find ways to bring it back to life." He explains more and more on what he is and how he came to be on Earth. The more he talks the more curious he is about your opinion about all of this. Honestly if he was in your situation, he would be grossed out and leave. "Well, this is really cool to know that there is car aliens! I think you look very handsome." You smile up at him to make him feel better, knowing he seemed a bit stressed out right now. His optics widened from your relaxed reaction and got a bit hot. A person from another world calling him hot was honestly making him a bit flustered, which hasn't happened in forever. You look up and down as him and give him a cute thumbs up. "Yep, looking good!"

After some time, you agree to go see his base and stay for the night. Being in the drivers seat of his car, you were geeking out about the type of radio he has while also checking out the air conditioning. "So is your friends really that annoying as you say?" You hear his laughter of sweet joy and it kind of felt like he was secretly smirking. "Oh yeah, you'll see."

[elliesgffr]

Nerd Ellie being fucking clueless Guys pls be nice this is my firs post (and it's not proofread btw)

She was so distracted, living in her own world where apparently no one else could enter. She spent her free hours drawing in an old brown leather diary that looked worn, but you assumed it held some sentimental value for her. She was strange, a loser like those who appeared in the films you used to watch, a nerd whom no one looked at, but she intrigued you, you wanted to see the true colour of her eyes, how she would look without those glasses. You were also a bit curious about the story behind the tattoo on her arm—did she think it made her look tough?

She shot her diary abruptly before looking up, you two were the only ones in the university courtyard and there was plenty of space to sit, so why near her?

���What are you drawing?” you asked. She raised an eyebrow momentarily before reopening her diary, avoiding your gaze and continuing with what she was doing—drawing and ignoring your presence. You could see she was sketching some strange looking insect, but she made it look beautiful.

"A panda ant," she murmured boredly. You sat beside her and took a closer look at the drawing, the large, black eyes of the creature you'd never heard of.

"It looks like a spider."

"It's a wasp," she emphasised, shaking her head slightly and continuing with her work. You mumbled a small "right" while nodding awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"What else have you drawn?" you asked curiously. Ellie didn't need to be too clever to know you wouldn't let her finish her drawing; she'd seen you – you talked too much, you never shut up – so she decided to give in and handed you her diary, beginning a friendship she wasn't sure she wanted in the first place.

After that, you never left her alone, you used to drag her to parties she hated, and in return, she made you study for your exams and talked to you for hours about space stuff. It was fun, like when she tried to explain how a spaceship worked and you pretended not to understand just to keep listening to her. Her intelligence was her greatest appeal, and you wondered how she didn’t have the entire university chasing after her.

You were a little bit in love with her, but she acted as if you were a pain in her backside, so you discouraged yourself when you thought about telling her; it wouldn’t make any sense, you thought. However, the idea of not having her close to you at all times was horrible; her presence was addictive, and as a way to torture her, you would drag her out of her room tonight and take her to her least favourite place.

5:06pm. 

“Is Hallie’s tonight??” 

“No. I have to study.” 

“Please???? Just for a bit and we’ll leave, I swear.” 

“Liar.” 

You smiled as you read the message, you could almost hear her voice saying it; it was incredible how well she knew you in such a short time. You kept smiling like an idiot when your phone vibrated again in your lap. 

“Fine, but I’ll be late.” 

“Omg I love you, I knew you’d make the right decision, see you there xx.”

☆☆☆☆

The noise in the bar was deafening; there was a new band performing, and it was the only thing you could hear in the cramped space as you moved through the bustle of people searching for Ellie. You took out your phone to text her, but then you spotted her. You had to navigate through a sea of people before you could reach her, but at least she was in your line of sight. She looked bored. 

“Sorry I'm late.” 

“I was supposed to be late.” 

“I know, I'm sorry,” you murmured, moving closer to order a whisky from the bartender before turning back to her with the drink in hand. “There was a lot of traffic, and the taxi was going too slowly.” You leaned in too close for her to hear you, and her gaze instinctively dropped, her right hand nervously playing with her ring and little fingers as she nodded. 

“Fine” She replied flatly, and you rolled your eyes. You knew she hated accompanying you anywhere, but she didn’t have to make it so obvious.

“Come on, let’s dance.” You pulled her onto the dance floor amidst her protests, placing your hand on hers to guide her to your waist. She was clumsy, struggling to keep up with the rhythm, and laughed, shaking her head shyly when she realised she couldn’t.

“You always end up getting your way with me. I’ve got an exam tomorrow,” she protested in your ear, hands now gripping your waist firmly. You pulled closer, eager to take whatever she gave you, even if it wasn’t intentional.

“You need to relax. You’ve been so stressed this week, you shouldn’t even have classes on a Saturday,” you said over the music, your lips so close you could feel the warmth of her skin. You wanted to bite her earlobe, leave a mark to remind her of you, but you settled for having your arms wrapped around her neck.

“All this noise isn’t helping my stress,” she said, and you narrowed your eyes at her.

“I relieve your stress.” Her cheeks flushed crimson but she held your gaze, a burning intensity in your eyes, and it was in moments like these that she wasn’t sure what you meant, or if you meant it at all. She wanted to ask how, to say something, but instead she did the same thing as always.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She said before hurrying away to somewhere that didn’t smell of you, staring at herself in the mirror and feeling like an idiot for letting you get to her so quickly.

You sat waiting for her, praying no drunk would bother you as you sipped your whisky, watching the band play; the bassist kept glancing at a girl in the crowd, giving her a flirtatious wink and even you blushed.

A lot of time went on, and you started wondering what on earth Ellie was doing in the bathroom, so you went to look for her. To your surprise, she was with a girl from university near the dance floor, hands clasped as they tried to communicate.  She was Ellie's only friend besides you, and the lively way she was talking to this girl made you feel both guilty and angry. You always had to force her to make plans with you, and she treated you as if talking to you was a chore she wasn't looking forward to.

You desperately wanted to confront her, but what could you say?  All desire to be with her vanished, and without much thought, you left the crowded place, walking a couple of blocks until you found a taxi. The journey back to the halls felt endless, and all you could think about was how angry she would be, but honestly, you didn't care.

☆☆☆☆

"You left me." Ellie snapped as she made her way through your room, knowing about the key hidden in the flowerpot, and right now you wished you had taken it out of there. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wanted to leave and I saw you with your friend, I didn't want to ruin the moment." You murmured half-heartedly, fiddling with your old tablet and not even glancing at her, which made her scoff slightly, looking at you in disbelief. 

"I was there for you and you left me." 

"And I'm telling you that you shouldn't do it anymore." 

She looked at you, confused, before rolling her eyes, snatching the tablet from your hands so that you would pay attention to her, but your gaze drifted elsewhere; you felt stupid, like a five-year-old. 

"You’re sick of me dragging you to places you don’t want to go, and I’m sick of feeling like I’m forcing you to interact with me." 

"Is this about Allison?" 

"No." 

"Oh my God, are you ten?" She spoke in frustration, raising her voice without realising, she was tired of having to explain herself to you, and for what? In the end, it was the same, being the same. Friends, less than that, she didn’t know. "I ran into her and wanted to say hello, we talked for less than ten minutes and you throw a tantrum over it, what the hell is wrong with you?"

“It’s not that, Ellie.” You said it as if it were obvious, and felt the heat rise to your cheeks, which only made you angrier, the words tumbling out rapidly, before you could think. “I always have to be chasing you, for everything – outings, even studying, which you know I hate, and-and you always act like I’m just another chore on your to-do list, but you were holding her hand and smiling at her—” You paused to take a breath, narrowing your eyes. “You know what? There’s no point telling you anything, it’s not going to get through that thick skull of yours.” And you were about to leave your room, just to escape the argument, but arms snaked around your waist, pulling you back inside, her hand finding its way up your back to tug at your hair, green eyes fixed on yours.

“What the hell do you want from me?” she murmured desperately before pressing her lips to yours, hands gripping your hips firmly, and you were in shock, kissing her back and moaning as her tongue pushed into your mouth, but still in shock.

You felt intoxicated without actually being so, everything spun each time you felt your bottom lip being tugged in a nibble; your arms wrapped around her neck and you pulled her closer, kissing her with a hunger you’d never felt for anyone. Finally…

“You always do this to me.” She continued, whispering close to your lips, gasping for air but unable to pull away.

Your heart raced, pulse thundering in your ears as you tried to make sense of her words, but she pulled you back into a kiss, not giving you time to process anything. You gladly kissed her back, but your hands grabbed her shoulders, pulling her down to her knees; she complied without protest, desperately lifting your dress and tugging at your underwear, burying her face between your thighs and moaning pathetically as she tasted you, her tongue moving languidly, lips closing around your clit, sucking gently and making you see stars. You brought your hand behind her head, tugging at her hair, pushing her deeper into the place she never wanted to leave.

You didn’t even try to stifle your moans as she worked her magic on you, pleasure sparking as the pressure in your belly tightened, but you didn’t want it to end like this.

“Come here, come.” You whimpered, pulling her once more by the collar of her shirt, devouring her lips as you both tried to reach the bed without falling. You straddled her, skilled hands unbuttoning her trousers and you slipped your hand inside, feeling the warmth of her skin, your gaze burning into hers as your fingers worked on her swollen clit, she spread her legs wider, looking at you with tired eyes, her arms wrapping around your waist.

"I need to fuck you." She whined breathlessly, as if the thought of not being able to do so pained her.

You fumbled for the bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a double-ended dildo that made her eyes widen, but her need overpowered her, and she snatched it from your hands, slowly inserting it inside herself, letting out a stuttered moan. You made her lie down, positioning yourself on top of her, and without thinking, you lowered your hips onto the toy. Ellie couldn't stop writhing, trying to please both you and herself, her hands urging you to ride her as if your life depended on it. You bounced on her lap with so roughly that the sound was obscene, but you loved it.

"I hate seeing you talk to other people." You spoke breathlessly, your hand tightening around her throat, but not enough to choke her.

"I'm yours." She breathed out, inhaling sharply, trying to get some air into her lungs. Her hips pushed against yours in an animalistic manner, her now darkened eyes staring intently at you, and her hoarse moans made you melt. You couldn't hold back any longer, and the pressure, the pool of heat in your belly burst, turning the bed into a mess. Ellie followed you, her climax just as intense as her need for you, her arms wrapping around your waist as she thrust her hips erratically until she calmed down, both of you gasping for air, bewildered by what had just happened.

To be honest, Ellie had imagined this scenario thousands of times, but… how would you look at each other after this?

[cardsweetheart]

New dad Ruggie holding his newborn kid.

Holding this small little creature in his hands and doing his best to keep his cool. Little ears peeking out from the head of the hair. Finding himself bouncing as he paces around the room.

"Hi. I'm your dad, I guess. Nice to meet you. I'm probably this huge monster to you right now but I'm not all that bad. Promise. I like to think I'm a pretty decent guy. I mean, I helped make you so that's already getting me a couple points ahead. As long as you don't turn out to be a dick. Wait, I shouldn't swear in front of you should I? Don't tell okay?

We're in this together. I scratch your back, you help me look like I know what I'm doing. Though that's kinda my job isn't it? Taking care of you. Making sure you know how be a person. I might not be your best bet but I'm going to do my best. Give you all the essentials."

The words weigh heavy on him, "You're never going to be hungry. If you're hungry, you tell me right away. Scream if you need to. Those shelves are stocked. Got it?

We got you a nice bed and these pricey sheets. Top quality stuff kid. The thread count on these things? Oh I'm going to have to teach you how to count. You don't even know what numbers are yet. Fuck, you really are just...."

He tightens his grip, cautious not to hurt the baby, "Nothings going to happen to you. I don't care what I have to do. You are going to have the best fucking life okay? You're with us now. We got you kid.

You're going to go to a good school, and you're going to get good grades, got it? You're going to be the smartest little shit in that place. You're going to behave too. A joy to have in class. But not a teacher's pet. Being a nerd's going to get you tormented and I can't be out here kicking kindergarteners.

You're going to be able to come to us with anything. I don't care what it is. I'm always going to be here. Any hour. I don't care. I'll come get you. I'll kill for you. I don't care. I've decided. I'd go to jail for you and I've just met you so you're going to be a real piece of work aren't you?"

The same set of eyes stare back at him, seemingly enamored by the sound of his voice. Not a peep of a sob or cry building, at least not from the baby. He hates the tears pricking the sides of his eyes because he can't hide them. He's holding a child that he can't even bring himself to think of putting down. He didn't want to let go ever. This was his baby.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

[thehmn]

When this post popped up again LINK I realized I haven’t been keeping up with crazy conspiracy theories so I looked into what they’re saying about Death Standing and oh boy oh boy.

I can’t go into every little thing but Sam is seen as a stand-in for the death angel Samael, his wife was named Lucy which is often used as code for Lucifer, babies are “sacrificed” as soon as they’re born from their pods (nevermind that Sam saves his baby Lou from the fire) and Higgs who is named after the God Particle is the villain so players are fighting God who is nothing but a puppet who thinks himself more powerful than he really is. He also constantly makes himself look like a cross or Jesus on the cross.

And Kojima couldn’t help himself and snug some occult imagery into the game (I don’t think the Monster Energy product placement was part of it but the conspiracy theorists made it work) Like, why does the star have “eyes” in the same place as the star of baphomet, Kojima?

I’m now convinced Kojima is playing into it on purpose like Del Toro and Refn who also put a lot of occult symbols and messages in their works. Unlike celebrities like Beyoncé who hates the Illuminati nonsense these guys are horror and pop culture nerds who have a lot of fun with it. Especially this photo convinced me he knows exactly what he’s doing. Nice Freemason t-shirt you got there.

Looking further into it I now have a better understanding of the roles they’re believed to have in Illuminati and why Kojima is apparently so important.

Guillermo del Toro is either a witch or a warlock who has the ability to summon monsters and demons and he spread their influence by having their likeness in his movies. If you know them they know you and all that.

His movies supposedly also work as spells that open portals into people’s homes. Not gonna lie, his powers sound sick as fuck!

Refn is responsible for human sacrifices in some way, either as overseer or organizer or something, because a lot of his movies have human sacrifices in them. He has also talked about having erotic fantasizes about being mutilated, killed and cannibalized himself (never forget what a huge freak he is) as well as feeling “submissive pleasure” by having Kojima kill him over and over in his game which is interpreted by conspiracy theorists as him having a desire do be sacrificed to Mads Mikkelsen Satan himself. If Illuminati consider satanic human sacrifices a good thing it stands to reason that Refn would want to experience it himself, yes?

So why is Kojima so important to the Illuminati? Well, Asia is believed to have their own evil secret society that’s in constant battle for world dominance with Illuminati. People use different names for it and I don’t know the cultural importance of any of them so I’ll just let it go unnamed here.

Del Toro wowed Kojima with his powers by showing him the creatures behind the veil and got him to leave Asian Illuminati which made him an extremely valuable member with a lot of inside knowledge into their mortal enemies (and it didn’t hurt that he has a strong hold on gamers). Hence why he was gifted a high ranking member like Refn who works closely with one of Satan’s vessels, Mads Mikkelsen.

Apparently that’s one of the hot and steamy things you do with your Illuminati mandated sub; make him send actors and actresses to you. We know from interviews Kojima told Refn he wanted a cool actor for the role of Cliff and Refn said he could get him either Keanu Reeves or Mads Mikkelsen and it seems Kojima pulled Refn’s strings again to get Elle Fanning (who was killed and cannibalized by witches in Refn’s movie The Neon Demon) for Death Stranding 2.

So that’s why Mads Mikkelsen is depicted as the coolest, hottest and scariest man to have ever walked the afterlife, and why Deadman who is based on Del Toro help Sam see the truth and leave Bridges and Heartman who is based on Refn is literally right about everything (the only thing he isn’t sure about it wether humans have separate afterlives)

It’s very funny to me that no one seems to be able to connect Norman Reedus to anything satanic or Illuminati besides a vague “He’s in this so he must be involved somehow” Best of luck to Luca Marinelli in DS2. Maybe the Illuminati has a spot for you.

Side tangent, I could talk forever about Kojima wanting the characters to move like the people they’re based so Deadman takes up a lot of space with his movements and constantly gets in Sam’s personal space until Sam learns he has nothing to fear from him like Del Toro apparently did to Kojima, while Heartman is awkward and tries to touch his male friends all the time (but unlike Deadman he respects a no) but like Refn he has an insane respect for women’s comfort and boundaries so even when Fragile faints he helps support her at a respectable arms length and leaves the more physical touching to another woman.

Anyway, I think the conspiracy theorists came up with some pretty good horror characters here. Love Mads Mikkelsen as Satan’s part time vessel. I’d personally have Kojima kill Refn over and over for real and not just in a video game and have Del Toro use black magic to bring him back. And maybe we can give Norman Reedus a backstory about selling his soul just so he has more to do? And does Troy Baker even know he’s made the avatar of god, the most hated figure in Illuminati, or will he realize that when he’s strapped to a sacrificial altar in front of Mads Mikkelsen? But what do I know about conspiracies. It’s okay, I’m sure we can workshop it and make George Miller fit in there somewhere once Death Stranding 2 is released.

[johnwickb1tsch]

Everyone is sending GIF requests, so, here is mine. Hint: Jealous John? (Though I doubt this man can ever be jealous but...whatever comes to your genius brain)

Thanks!

@sweetwolfcupcake SWEEETS!!!!! I loved this prompt SO MUCH!!! You're such a genius. *kisses your head* I hope you like this! 💗💗💗

Bodyguard!John Wick x Shy!Curvy!Fem!Student!Reader

⚠warnings: threat of noncon (not John), mention of parental death

For the record, you didn’t mean to fall in love with John Wick. But he was nothing like the other goons your father had tasked with guarding you before.  Wick was tall, and handsome, and had the soulful eyes of a poet. You know he’s dangerous; he can kill a man 30 ways with a pencil (the men of your father’s Bratva will not shut up about it) but he seems so…gentle. And the thing that really proved your undoing?

That good looking bastard was bookish, and it did something inconceivable to your lit major brain. Ever your dark shadow, you spent countless late nights in the library together, and so many Saturday afternoons browsing the used bookshops, combing for treasures. He would rescue the books that looked better fit for the waste bin, taking them to repair. Maybe he was there to protect you, for your father had many unsavory enemies, but it was easy to forget when John discussed with you the finer points of the Bloomsbury Set or the themes of Anna Karenina.  

Maybe your father assigned John to you because he was one of the few gangsters around in his brigata one could trust to guard a relatively innocent young lady–that didn’t mean John was safe from you. You just couldn’t help yourself; you’d like to plead insanity, your honor, the night you finally broke and tried to kiss him, while he was helping you with your homework for Russian Lit 301. 

How stupid you felt, how utterly pathetic, when he’d very kindly dislodged you from his so soft mouth, looking at you with pity in his sad dark eyes. “You know…we can’t do this,” he told you.

Mortified, you’d fled to your room and cried, knowing you are the most ridiculous human being on the face of the earth.

What were you thinking?

You are nothing like the tall, ethereal creatures that populate the clubs where Wick frequents with your father. You are shy, and curvy, and frankly…a nerd. An old soul, your father would say fondly, but you know he is just being kind.

You’re not sure how you got it into your head, that you were going to make Wick sorry. You’ve never been one for going out, but you decide to give it a whirl, wanting to be anyone but yourself. You decide to go to the Red Circle, to hang out with the other Bratva brats who care way more about clubbing and clothes and who’s fucking who, than classes at NYU. 

At first you really hate it–but after a few shots of vodka, it’s not so bad. John has to hang back, keeping an eye on you but not interacting with your friends. He’s scary good at lurking in the shadows, but you know he’s keeping an eye on every move you make. Maybe that’s why you let Alexsei kiss you, the son of a semi-friendly loan shark who works in proximity with your father. You don’t really like him, if you’re being honest. But he’s not totally hideous–and he’s there–and John will have to watch it all. 

You and Alex start to have a thing. It’s no big deal. Something to do, on the summer break from your studies. You invite him over to watch a movie, knowing you’ll have the house to yourself. Your father is always at his office doing business, your idiotic brother is always out getting into trouble with his khuligan friends, and your mother…is dead, God rest her poor soul. 

You can tell Alex is a little drunk, when he shows up at your door. He’s very handsy, when you settle in on the couch to watch the latest mindless action flick, his pick. It’s ok, until he tries to unbutton your pants.

You have a secret. 

You’re 21, nearly graduated from university–and you’re still a virgin. 

This is not a thing you intend to give to Alexsei Plushenko. You don’t even really like the way he touches you.

“Stop, Alex.”

“Don’t be scared,” he tries to coax you. “This will be fun.”

“No,” you say. “Let’s just…”

He covers your mouth with his, shutting you up, his heavy body pinning you on the couch. “Don’t be such a stuck up bitch.” His groping fingers squeeze your breast clumsily, painfully, before fumbling with your jeans again. You try to push him off, but he’s heavy, and strong.

Suddenly, he is yanked from you like he weighs nothing at all. You hardly recognize what is happening at first, until you hear the sound of flesh striking flesh. John is on him, his iron fist meeting the younger man’s face. 

“John! Stop!” 

Wick looks up at you, meeting your eyes in a primal lock of stares–your heart drops and soars again, as you feel as though you’ve stumbled on a wolf over his kill, and the wildest thing?

You get the inkling that wolf is jealous. 

“Don’t hurt him anymore,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. A beating will make some complications for your father. A death? Could mean war.

Wick punches the handsy young man one more time, his eyes never leaving yours, before hauling Alex up by the collar and frog marching him out the front door, tossing him down the concrete steps of your home.

John finds you waiting for him in the marble foyer, his eyes wild, his knuckles torn. You don’t even know what to say. 

“What did you even see in him?” he finally demands, clearly annoyed.

“He wasn’t you,” you answer without thinking.

Wick steps up to you, toe to toe, so that you have to crane your neck to meet his eyes. His hair has broken free from its slicked back style, tendrils in his eyes.

He’s never looked more beautiful, your savage savior.

“You’re trying to get me killed.”

You shake your head, the very thought anathema to you. You are transfixed, unable to look away, unable to think. “You’re too precious to me,” you admit, and screw your eyes shut the moment you admit it, a spear of mortification piercing you from your heart to your stupid, aching, cunt.

“Milaya…” 

It’s the sweetest thing he’s ever said to you.

Your eyes drop to his knuckles, torn open in his defense of you. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Not to me.” You don’t know where you get the courage, to take his hand, and lead him up to your room. You can hardly believe it, that he actually follows you. In your ensuite bathroom you dab at his knuckles with a washcloth, slather him with ointment and plaster him with bandaids. You run out of sober flesh colored ones, so the last cut gets a Disney bandage, Ariel and sea-flowers decorating this severe man’s knuckles. 

He lets you do all this, watching you intensely with those dark eyes you’re certain can see into your soul. You stand too close–and he lets you, this haunted man who watches over you day and night. Your whole life you have never wanted for anything, your father’s money buying you all your heart could possibly desire.

Until now.

You find it hard to meet his eyes, zeroing in on a spot of blood on his stark white dress shirt. 

“Y/n.” With a gentle knuckle under your chin he turns your gaze up to his again. “You are too smart, and too beautiful, to be wasting your time with a fuckboy like Alexsei Plushenko.”

The first part you already knew. The second, from this man’s lips? Your knees nearly collapse out from under you, a flood of excitement and dread coursing through your system. You almost can’t stand it–it’s like being burned alive, and your native shyness rears with a vengeance. 

You try to flee, back to the safety of your room, and your books, your imaginary lives that can’t really hurt you–but he catches your hand. His grip is not hard, but it is enough to stop you dead in your tracks. 

“Y/n…” He’s pleading with you, but you don’t understand what he’s asking you. 

“You said you don’t want me, John…” you say, still unable to meet his eyes. “So let me go.” 

He answers by pulling you against him, the solid line of his torso a brick wall beneath the hand you raise to catch yourself. But bricks are not warm, like the flesh beneath his designer clothes. You can feel the wires in your brain sizzling, the synapses simply melting down. Your heart is Chernoble waiting to happen. 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“You said–”

“I said, ‘We can’t.’ Not, that ‘I don’t want you.’”

You almost cannot breathe, your heart attempting to beat out of your chest, a ringing in your ears that drowns out all else. There is nothing, nothing, in this world you’ve wanted more, than to hear those words from this man. But now that he’s standing before you, against you, holding you–you cannot move. You do not know what to do. 

He solves this problem by cupping your cheek in his big hand–God, how you’ve noticed those hands–and then he is pressing his mouth to yours, gentle at first, but then…hungry. As though John Wick has been starving, for you, and it’s all you can do just to stand there and take it without melting into a puddle on the floor. His arms wrap around your back, holding you, lifting you to your tiptoes as he devours you. When at last he pulls back you are left seeing stars, struck utterly speechless with your hands on his broad shoulders. 

“Tell me to stop,” he raggedly demands, his eyes boring down into yours. 

Finally, you find your courage, meeting his stare. “I don’t want you to stop,” you whisper. 

“Good. Because I don’t think I can.” He kisses you again, just as hungrily as the first time, his arm an iron band around your waist and his fingers sneaking up into your hair. That’s your kryptonite: your hair, and blithely you know he can do anything and everything he wants to you now.  

Your father is a bad man, but you have not had a bad life. You have never known hunger, or true physical pain. He has protected you from the violence of his world. He has played things smart enough that not even the FBI can touch you, even though they absolutely know what he is and where your family gets its money. Despite all this, you have been dying inside, a slow, withering demise, until John Wick’s lips touched yours. He is the life-giving rain over the desert; your heart is a field of wildflowers erupting in a superbloom. 

This time, he leads you, in between kissing you, to the loveseat at the foot of your bed. He sits, and only when he tries to pull you into his lap do you resist. “John…I’m too…much,” you insist, conscious of your generous flesh and what it would be like to set that on top of him, afraid he’ll be horrified. 

However, he just scoffs at you, grabbing you up anyway and guiding you down. For a moment you are weightless��he knows how to upset a person’s balance, how to use their weight against them to put them on the floor. This time he uses it to put you on him. You’re not exactly proud of it, but the ease with which he utterly manhandles you makes your long-neglected lady parts sing with desire. 

“You are perfect, dietka,” he insists, pulling you closer with hands on your round behind, “And I am very strong.” For the first time in you can’t remember how long–he smiles at you. That beautiful half smile with a sparkle in his dark eyes that takes your breath away–you love him so much it hurts. 

This time you don’t feel so shy, about kissing him. You feel like your bones are filled with butterflies, and you both moan and giggle as you do your best to devour each other from the mouth down. Aside from an appreciative squeeze of your thighs bracketing his hips, he doesn’t try to seduce you, even though you know you absolutely would have given him anything he asked you for. He is content, just to kiss you, for this night at least, and oh. He’s good at it too. 

You decide you would burn down the world, for one more kiss from John Wick.  

Later you find yourself snuggled in your bed with John, fully clothed, your head on his shoulder as he toys with the fine hairs at the back of your neck. His touch is heaven, and with your legs twined with his it’s hard not to squirm and writhe against his muscled thigh like a horny little gremlin. 

Later, you tell yourself. It can wait for later. 

Like maybe, tomorrow. 

“We’ll have to be careful,” he warns you. “If your father��” 

If your father found out, the best thing that could happen to John is getting fired. 

“I won’t let you get hurt,” you promise, kissing his bearded cheek, praying you’re telling the truth.

He chuckles at this; a deep sound you feel more than hear. “I thought that was my job?”

“You know what I mean.” 

“I know.” He looks down at you with a tenderness that curls your toes. “It would be worth it, for you.” 

Your heart has suddenly decided it would like to take up residence in your throat–permanently.

“Oh, John…”  

He kisses you again, a soft brush of lips that renders you weightless. This is how you die: it’s almost too much to stand, this impossibly full feeling in your chest. Then he narrows his eyes at you playfully. “You have been driving me mad, you little minx. I wanted to kill everyone who so much as looked at you in the Circle.” 

You snort at the thought–you do not understand, really, that he could absolutely do it too. 

“Not to worry. I think the library is more my speed.” He rests his head against yours with a small, contented sigh. “Mine too,” he admits. The smell of old books around you is a soothing balm to you both. 

You know small bits of his past. Morsels he has sprinkled, here and there in the conversations you have had. You know he did not have an easy childhood. You know that this life was not really his choice. Even less so than most, who move and work in the Underworld. 

“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” you ask. 

He lifts an eyebrow at you. “I’m liking New York, at the moment,” he tells you with an affectionate squeeze. 

“Oh come on.” 

“Fine. I like Paris a lot.” 

“Hmm,” you answer, but what you think, is: Done.  You will have the opportunity to arrange to study abroad soon, and you think a trip away from the Tarasov territory might do you both some good.

Surely Papachka wouldn’t deprive you of your most trusted bodyguard?

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Shadow Milk Cookie. Chloroform. Yandere. Do what you will with this information.

-🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍👨

I'm gonna put you as the anon listed above since- That's what I assume you mean?

I unintentionally put shitpost aha

Disclaimer: MC is still gender neutral, they are just referred to as queen for chess role purposes.

Tw: Eyestrain for the art that goes along with this piece, chloroform-like magic, kidnapping to a different dimension, implied future murder

You find yourself in a dark void. So black, you can't see anything through the shadows that swirl in your vision. You're not sure what it feels like. Is it threatening? Or is it a sense of peace? You aren't sure. This sense of the unknown makes you anxious.

Suddenly, a big blue eye opens in front of you, the colour glowing within the dimmed surroundings. The shade of blue reminded you of Lapis. A very bright one. But the eye itself, it was terrifying. You nearly wanted to break into pieces right then and there.

"Oh, my queen! You're finally here!" A voice eagerly chirps, a slightly maniacal tone to it. It seemed ecstatic to see you, too much so. You couldn't form an answer, still processing your odd environment.

"I've missed you~ It's been ages since I've seen your face! You don't look any different- oh, maybe you're just a little prettier, you silly thing!" The voice giggled as the eye blinked. The eye squinted upwards as if it was smiling. But wait, why did it act like it's seen you before? You don't know who this entity is. Not even what it is. Is it a cookie? A beast? Confusion swelled within you as the seconds passed.

"My sweet...What is that face?" The voice slowly faded away, as your world suddenly blackened once more.

——————————————————

"MC, are you okay?" You wake up to the face of Strawberry. She seems concerned, her big brown eyes down-turned. How cute. "You were shaking in your sleep."

"Um yeah, I'm okay. I just had a weird dream." You respond, still lying on the grass where you and the group are camped. You clutch onto your blanket a little tighter.

"Like a nightmare?" She tilts her head to the side.

"Not exactly. I can't put it to words..." You mumble off, trying to recall the eye that spoke to you.

"Oh okay." She glanced at the blue and violet sky, commenting, "It's almost sunrise. Do you wanna prepare jellies with me? I'm sure the others will wake up soon."

You nod and sit up before flailing your blanket to the side.

——————————————————

You and your friends are going through the forests of Beast Yeast, cautious of all the creatures and evil beings lurking by. That is until your group stumbles upon a random chessboard on a glass table. In the middle of the fucking path, in the middle of fucking Beast Yeast. Instead of black and white, the board is in different shades of blue.

"What in tarnation is this?" Wizard leans closer, staring at it intensely. Fidgeting with his fake beard, or in other words, his scarf.

Chili Pepper butted in, "The fuck you mean bro, this is obviously a dumb chessboard-"

"LANGUAGE!" Gingerbrave suddenly turned out to stare at Chili Pepper uncannily, before smiling again. "I'm sure it's something dangerous! Let's not touch it."

"Guys,"

"Or it could be a chessboard and table someone decided to randomly leave here."

"Shush- I'm always right." Gingerbrave did an imaginary hair toss.

"Guys..."

Wizard raised his hand, just like a nerd, "No? I am, thank you. By the almighty power of magic I-"

"You're an ice cream. Also, you're the one who's screaming for help half the time." Chili Pepper chuckled, poking at Wizard.

Strawberry took a breath and sharply, albeit quickly spoke, "Guys!"

The whole group turned to look at her, which made her flush with embarrassment. She pointed at the chessboard. "The pieces are moving on their own." When the gang looked back at the gameboard, they were met with a surprising sight.

The chess pieces moved by their own accord. Which revealed that the darker blue side was winning compared to the lighter blue. It was a competitive fight, with both sides making quick moves. It was mesmerizing, you aren't sure why.

You reached out your hand and touched one of the pieces in curiosity. Only to feel a sudden freezing cold gust fly at you. Your surroundings become dark, just like your dream as the yelps of your friends sound out around you. A sinister chuckle joins along, as your body is thrown into a blackened world once more.

"Honey! Honey, honey, honey, my honey."

You stand before a jester cookie, covered in eyes. He grins, his clothes like the blues of the chessboard. He swiftly goes over to you, cradling you in his arms. You can't move, overcome with a freezing cold that leaves you immobile.

"I've waited much too long on your reincarnation. We could have had a wonderful marriage by now if it weren't for that bastard Elder Faerie." He spoke softer than before but had a spit of venom for the name Elder Faerie. He leans closer, uncomfortably so. He makes a minuscule hum before pecking your mouth.

"I'll just keep you here for a bit until I have everything ready." Out of nowhere, a shadow comes for you, binding you in it. You start to feel drowsy. "We'll be so happy once more, I promise." Your vision starts to swirl into darkness, to the point you can't make him out anymore.

You fall asleep, unable to fight off the dreadful binds.

——————————————————

"My Queen~! Wake up! I have everything ready for you." You're nudged awake, as the binds come off you. You find yourself on a throne: cold and metal. As look forward, you are shocked to see a glowing chessboard just like the one you saw on the path. But also freaked out to see Strawberry and Gingerbrave tied up in the same binds, floating in the air.

"Wha- What is this?" You stammer, overwhelmed with all that has happened in the last few moments. Was this a joke? A jester terrorizing you and your friends, what a lovely day.

"Why, it is the moment you get to see your idiots crumble right before you by the hands of your rightful husband, me: Shadow Milk Cookie!" He comes over to you, putting a crown on your head. It was plain, just a metal crown with no jewels or anything else.

"And you're the queen! The most powerful one on the board!" He giggles, patting your hand. You tense at his touch, wanting to get away from this glorified position you were in. But time and time again, you can't move away from your spot. It's as if you were hardened glue stuck to a label that no one can seem to pry off.

"I don't know what reincarnation you talked about before, but whatever it is, stop it! My friends have done nothing! I don't even know who you are!" You plead, wanting his weird reincarnation thing to stop. You felt guilty for thinking of touching a moving chess piece in Beast Yeast. Gingerbrave was right: everything is dangerous.

"Honey..." Shadow Milk frowned, holding your face in his hands. He looked disappointed rather than enraged. "I know your memories are somewhat faded, but those cookies are distracting you. Distracting you from me, your beloved." He lightly bumps his face against yours, staring into your eyes.

"What do they have to do anything with your dead lover?" You ask, a little too harshly, but needing to get the message across.

He gasps. "They aren't dead! They're right before me!" He puts his jester hat on his head, going over to Gingerbrave and Strawberry. He glares at them briefly with his dual-chromed eyes before returning to you.

"Just let me. Just let me kill them." He hisses with a grin. His eyes scare you, the way they're wide open with insanity. "I need some desperate alone time with you and also get our marriage decided once more." Shadows started to succumb to the world, except for the light from the board.

"No! Don't you dare!" You shake your head, unwilling to let him get away with this. Your poor friends. Just what kind of madness did you pull them into?

"My Queen! When will you let me kill them? They are insignificant to our love!" He exclaims, reaching a hand out to you.

Oh, what a devoted lover isn't he? Waiting for eons for you only for you to be so disgusted with him.

——————————————————

This was really fun to write. Now, I’m not quite caught up on the lore yet. I just read his profile and said fuck yeah so…mhm.

I will say, I didn’t go exactly chloroform, but the same aspect of it with his magic.

I used honey cuz I was like “Old. But also insane. Equals honey.”

Alright I’m gonna go do homework now because I’ve neglected other work (APRIL AND MAY IS HELL FOR MEEE)

- Celina