#deep and/or fun questions to ask

[thegamingcatmom]

The ask game: 17, 24, 30

17. What weird thing do you do when you're alone?

Oh boy, where to start, lmao.

Hmm...randomly start singing/beatboxing I'd say - rather poorly, mind you. (I'm a better beatboxer than singer though, that's for sure. 🙃) Sometimes it's directed at my cats and, by the looks of it, they feel insulted af. 😭

24. What's your favorite piece of jewelry you own?

That's an easy one: None. I mean, I think I got some pieces...somewhere. But I don't wear any of it, not even earrings. 🤷‍♀️

30. What is your worst and best quality?

Worst: My impatience when I want something. (It lies in the family, unfortunately. 😅)

Best: Putting myself in someone's shoes or any situation in general to get a better understanding of what's going on and how to best deal with it. (Perks of having a vivid fantasy. 😉)

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Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[rauferes]

For my current longfic, I've been having fun making up my own comparative biology stuff for elves. The most recent one that's tickling me (inspiration from any_open_eye's work for this one) is that human penises are, uh, significantly larger than elven ones. (Human penises are actually weirdly large in our world-- compared to other animals, and definitely other primates, we're disproportionate).

Which is going to make it hilarious when my elven main character finally gets in Emmrich's pants and finds his jusssst-above-human-average 6" cock... which is the elven equivalent of finding out your lover is packing 8". (For people used to the typical and rather generous self-reporting of size: that's the 99.9th percentile folks. Get a thousand very excited men in the same room and this dick will be the longest.) (Don't worry about my search history, don't-- don't worry about it.)

She isn't even a bigger=better person. She's going to be SO taken aback and I'm going to have so much fun writing it.

[starflungwaddledee]

💍 If they are married, did they give each other wedding rings, or do they have another way of signifying their marriage? If they aren’t married, how would they signify their marriage if they got married at some point? Would they give each other rings or do something else?

For Meta × starstruck!

>>> kirby ship ask game here જ⁀➴ ♡!

4. 💍 If they are married, did they give each other wedding rings, or do they have another way of signifying their marriage?

starstruck, and most of popstar, would have absolutely no concept of this! meta knight however, as i've said before, is an outlier to me in that i believe he understands romance to an extent.

i do this partially for the bit. i think it's sort of funny if the most lone-wolf guy is the only one capable of getting a recognisable and debilitating crush. but also because in my world-building the Celestials (meta knight's species) did have a social structure with complex relationship hierarchies, including socially binding contracts and unique role designators within those hierarchies.

i wouldn't necessarily compare this to "marriage", but in a modern context if they'd had modern feelings... maybe they could have done it that way, willingly and for emotional reasons. meta knight himself would certainly romanticise it as such!

the way Celestials entered into this sort of thing was complex, and varied depending on the roles being assigned to participating parties. while not all systems would use a visual signifier of the relationship, they certainly did use them!

wearing the symbol or the colour of a higher-ranked individual in your system was a very common practice, especially for orbiters. these could be removeable items- such as an accessory- or in some cases would be more like a mark left on the skin.

meta knight could only know about these things historically, as he's never met another Celestial. but if given the right opportunity, he wouldn't be opposed to putting them into practice. he's maybe even daydreamed about it, a lot tiny bit. for the kind of bond he'd be imagining, either a mark (which he wouldn't want to do to her), or a small accessory such as a bow in his colour would be customary.

thankfully, she already wears a bow, and she loves to play matchy-matchy!

[kindahoping4forever]

Do you think this fandom is dying?

Note: I originally got this ask a while back and didn't get a chance to answer before the Malum stuff started happening and it seemed like this idea might be less of a concern. But recently I've seen similarly themed conversations and thought my answer might still be relevant.

I can definitely understand how one might be tempted to see things that way but I think there's a few important distinctions to consider before any grand statements are made.

When the band is off tour and between albums, fandom activity usually slows and then with the new era, we see a resurgence of fans excited and ready to engage, along with new fans and typically a few from the past checking in. (Solo eras tend to bring in a similar type of resurgent activity but nowhere near the level of when the proper band is releasing a project and the broad interest tends to taper after the initial single release, as we're seeing the dropoff with Malum right now.)

We're also currently in the midst of what may end up being the band's longest period of public inactivity to date. Fans often talk about the "drought" during 2017 while Youngblood was being recorded but in actuality, we were still getting daily content from their socials and they even went on a 13 date tour that year. Even during covid, it felt like forever but between the CALM release and promo, 5SOS5 recording updates via socials and the content we likely wouldn't have gotten outside of the pandemic (ie: the infamous Amazon stream, the Quarantea, a few IG lives and the tier list), we were still getting fed. Contrast that all with where we are now: 5SOS5 is nearly 3 years old, they haven't played a show since October 2023 and we know the next album is actively underway but we really have no idea where they are in the process because they for the most part (understandably) are not sharing much on socials anymore. There's not a ton of fandom discussion going on because there's not a ton to discuss tbqh.

Is the online fandom smaller than it used to be? Absolutely. Do I think this means people are actually changing their ways and renouncing their fandom in droves? No. I've been a fan for 11 years and an active online contributor for 7 and I can honestly say that the 5SOS online fandom is one of the most brutal, emotionally taxing and at times toxic fandoms I have ever engaged with. I'll always be grateful for it, it's changed my life in countless ways and I wouldn't be who I am today without it but I have absolutely paid a price being involved with it as deeply and as long as I have. Tumblr is hands down the chillest branch of the fandom (with that said, I have still had some downright ugly experiences over the years) but it's also the smallest and quietest. We're an island of sorts, vibing somewhere else, and while I've always been a big advocate of curating your own experience online, it's not always practical to completely tune out the happenings on other platforms that see more engagement but also a lot more toxicity. I personally know a handful of people (and have anecdotally seen numerous others) reach a breaking point and decide to protect their peace and cut online engagement out of their fandom diet, save for official channels and their own safe circle. In all transparency, even I have seriously considered that choice more than once and as recently as last year. The band isn't losing fans, a lot of fans feel they've lost a community where they feel comfortable spending their time without judgement or drama (whether the target be the band or the fans themselves) constantly threatening to infiltrate what should be a safe space.

This somewhat goes hand in hand with the previous point but I'd be remiss not to mention another key component of this equation: life is hard and people are tired. It's a sweeping generalization but I think most would agree it's one that's hard to argue with. The past few years have been rough and running this blog, I've seen it take its toll on the way people engage. Posts that would've once been reblogged with fervent tags become silent likes, friendly asks and comments that would've once been sent remain unwritten, fic ideas that would've once been written settle for being unexplored concepts in a friend's DMs. Having an online presence can be taxing especially if you're engaging socially, especially if you're a creative contributor in the community and it takes the kind of energy that a lot of people are in short supply of these days. If this new normal continues to behave the way it has for the past couple years, I'd expect to see a few peaks in engagement when big moments happen (album announcement/release, first music video/performance back, tour beginning/ending, etc) but for the most part, daily interaction is left to a core group.

So all this to say... the answer to your question is somehow both yes and no! In general, I don't find it unusual or concerning for a fandom's activity to fluctuate, especially a fandom as long-running as ours.

If I've learned anything over the years, it's that this fandom is predictable. The fandom at large has a bad habit of getting bored easily and that boredom often leads people to jump ship until things are exciting again. Others may choose to make their own excitement, which almost always results in drama (whether it be about fellow fans or the band itself), which in turn leads to people stepping away and the cycle continues on. It can definitely be frustrating to experience but time after time, once the band returns, so does the enthusiasm, the drifters and the positive vibes. So I'd say, don't count us out yet!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

sometimes i remember that gojo wanted to tell geto “we’ll meet again, right?” just before he died but forced himself not to knowing it would have cursed him and then i start thinking about how kind and thoughtful gojo is as a character and how he hasn’t been able to lean on another human being since geto defected and then i want to . Scream

[raydacted]

heyy whats up.. who is the person absolutely tearing up karaoke id love 2 know

i do not have discord…

aforementioned person is SHOJU !! my beautiful princess with a disorder etc.. their life is most easily organized into eight sections (they essentially just live through eight genres of story in the first thirty years of their life); there are more details, but here are the basics:

1: a normal kid with a good life. magic (mesmer/hypnosis/persuasion and mimicry) grows stronger -> experiments on people around him. gets out of control; he stops going to school, turns his parents into puppets, and satisfies his every whim. (the magic powers are why they’re good at singing…)

2: these activities do not go unnoticed -> is caught and put in magic kid jail. his power is restricted by various means, which is upsetting for him. after a rough adjustment period, forms a bond with one of the facility staff.

3: has been on good behavior for some time -> is transferred to a kind of transitional living plan. aforementioned staff acts as his temporary guardian. guardian convinces him to use his magic to make recordings imbued with a compelling, almost addictive quality. once the power of the recordings has been proven, the guardian sees a potential avenue for profit.

4: the recordings attract the attention of a morally corrupt entrepreneur running a failing record company. this person wants to exploit its listeners by hypnotizing them, steal from small music artists, and execute other deplorable yet economically profitable schemes. shoju’s abilities are perfect for this, so the company and his guardian strike a deal.

5: the high school life of a stereotypical rich bad boy in an american high school drama movie. lives another life as a company representative-ish person, as it becomes more well-known and wealthy. has to keep his magic secret so as to not risk exposure of the company’s illegal activities. does light teenager crimes (underage drinking, fake id shenanigans, stealing, trespassing, etc.) with band of dysfunctional delinquent friends who aren’t really friends.

6: mock trial sports anime (i cannot elaborate at the moment… this one would need its own post, honestly). uses their powers to cheat at an important competition -> is caught -> team disqualified, powers revealed to the public, company loses face as its illegal actions are revealed.

7: shoju, their guardian, and the company ceo have a falling out. the company is doomed because of what has happened; it’s inspired further inquiry which has uncovered even deeper fraud than what shoju was part of. shoju runs away to try to start over.

8: transgender, crashout, gets tattoo sleeve. recovers a bit from crashout, at least enough to get a basic job. trying to use her magic less, has a lot of weird mixed feelings about it. she’s in her twenties by this point.

in case anyone is confused about pronouns: shoju is originally boy but becomes girl (basically. her gender is somewhat fluid, however). i called her by the pronouns that best fit her identity in each particular era in this description in order to give you that extra detail (the he/him he/they they/them they/she she/her pipeline /silly). you can just default to she or they whenever you refer to her for simplicity’s sake

[wannawrite999]

[madaqueue]

how do you say "childe" bcs i read it as "child" or "chilled" 😭😭

CKSKFKDKCKDKFKND it is ‘child’ :33 its like a nickname/title basically (but it’s also why i usually use ajax when im writing because saying ‘i’m going to top childe’ makes my brain . unhappy FKDKFKDKFJD)

[imtotallynotthere]

I love your Still Wakes The Deep x SCP fic! Can you share some information on the story?

If you are willing to share of course.

Like are Finlay and Brodie are still alive and be with Caz or would they be let go because they were not infected?

How the SCP foundation would treat Caz? Would they treat him as an dangerous creature to keep a close eye on and use him for experimentation with other SCPs or would they treat him with some kind and respect but still kept a close eye on him just to be safe.

I love your work please keep it up!

Hi, and thank you for the ask! :D

For Finlay and Brodie, they'd be taken in by the MTF and sat down by researchers in separate interrogation rooms. They'd be put through an overall regular questioning (as regular as Foundation questioning can get) by the researcher(s) on what happened, what they experienced, what the others looked like, etc. From there, they'd either be given Class A amnestics (erases recent memories within a fairly short time frame such as 5-6 hours according to the updated SCP wiki on amnestics) or Class C ones (tedious process but a summary of them is that the memories 'chosen' to be removed will be removed.)

After making sure there were no significant damages to them by the amnestics, they'd be sent home and fed with some sort of excuse that'd most likely be close to what they may tell the families involved as well as the public because there's no way every person who had family on that rig would keep their mouths shut.

Caz's situation is a little bit of both. Since Caz is certainly infected, yet not showing as fast as the other did, he'd be put in a holding cell like any other SCP would. From there, as long as he remained cooperative, they'd treat him better than some of the SCP's. However, it is the 05-Council and they still want answers. He'd have blood drawn and a bunch of other tests from doctors (the doctors wearing a protection suit to stop any skin contact.) His blood would be tested on, his skin would definitely be tested.

He'd be treated like an object of interest, not an actual person.

However, as long as he cooperates, he may get more freedom. Including, by all means, if Caz stays human--or as human as he can be--without turning into a rampaging monster.

[4-as-in-a-trenchcoat]

~°•ANDY'S FAMILY•°~

~CHARACTERS!!!~

Guardian:

~Agnes Apple

•Type: Granny Smith

•Very TART; bitter; religious af; strict; very very old-school, slightly sarcastic/sassy

•Raised Andy and his siblings

Parents:

~Adam Apple

•Type: Red delicious

•Agnes’s first born son

•Sweet; humble; firm; slightly strict, but also incredibly playful and joking; Likes dad jokes. Still protective and slightly tart tho

~Avery Apple

•Type: Shizuka

•Married into Adam's family.

•Very sweet; meek; humble and gentle. Still very protective like her husband.

Siblings:

~Alexander "Alex" Apple

•Type: Crispin

•Age: 28

•Chill, but incredibly overprotective; also a nice balance between sweet and sassy.

~Amelia “Amy” Apple

•Type: Golden Delicious

•Age: 27

•Playful; the type to make silly nicknames for all her siblings; takes after her dad the most. (they both love dad jokes; sweet and humble), but gets sucked in her studies more often than not.

~Allison “Alice” Apple

•Type: Pink lady

•Age: 24

•Slightly more elegant than her siblings; takes after her grandmother the most; but definitely more sweeter than her

~Andrew "Andy" Apple

•Type: Fuji

•Age: 22

•Sweetest!!!!! And most hardworking, that's why the farm was inherited to him despite being the youngest.

~HOME LIFE~

The apple siblings used to be like. really REALLY close when they were children. But they just kinda.. drifted apart as they grew older. Agnes played a huge part in that, albeit unintentionally.

Agnes is kind of like…. Abuela from Encanto But 10x worse. She cares about her grandchildren, and she only wants the best for them, but her methods of doing it aren't really.. ideal, AND her views are more old-school, to put it lightly.

She encourages toxic behavior in her grandkids, like pulling all-nighters to study, overworking themselves, etc. She also frequently pitted the siblings against each other, which was why they started drifting away.

She is also AGAINST anything that isn't a heterosexual and/or same-species relationship. Luckily though, none of her grandchildren share her views.

Agnes’s toxic mindset is DEFINITELY the reason for Andy's overworking tendencies!!!! She really encouraged his hardworking-ness and even rewarded him for it (the farm) so it's not like it's a bad thing, right?? This view is also shared among the siblings, more or less. (On varying levels.)

~EXPLANATION ON TYPES AND NAMES!!!!!~

Agnes

•The name means “pure”/”holy”. And considering I wrote her to be a religious, old-school-ish woman then uh. yeah.

•The granny smith apple is infamously known as THE most tart apple. Like…. most, if not all the time, you would see it at the very tart end of the sweet-to-tart apple spectrum. Tart as an adjective is “cutting, bitter, or sarcastic”.

Adam

•Should be pretty obvious, but his name is a reference to Adam as in. the biblical figure. First man; representing the fact that he's Agnes's first born son. Also a reference to ‘Adam’s Apple’.

•The red delicious apple is like. the most common and iconic one. It's described as sweet, mild and firm. Mild as a personality trait is described as “humble, meek, and gentle”, which you can see I split up between Adam and Avery. The firm and strict part of his personality is a reference to. well. the ‘firm’ part of red deliciouses. He's playful cause red delicious apples are more on the sweet side.

Avery

•Honestly. I chose this name for her because Adam's was more “literal”, and I wanted it to match. Avery Apple sounds like “A very apple”. And I KNOW that doesn't make sense BUT that was the best thing I could find 💔💔

•Shizuka apple's are described as mild, mostly sweet with only a little tart taste. Like I've said for Adam, the “meek, humble and gentle” part of her personality comes from the “mild” of shizukas. Anddd since she's mostly sweet, she's sweeter and just overall less strict than her husband.

Alex

•Since most of the names in AAF are more on the “common” side, I decided to choose what's probably the most common for the oldest. His name means “man's defender”, which I referenced with the “incredibly overprotective” part. (ALSO THERE'S AN APPLE NAMED ALEXANDER???? (Emperor Alexander to be specific) BRO DO I CHANGE THIS????)

•Crispin apples are described to have a sweet-tart flavor, which is why Alex is “a nice balance between sweet and sassy”. It's also related to golden delicious :)

Amy

•Amelia means “hardworking” and Amy means “beloved”. Hardworking because she studies like. a lot, and can most likely rival Andy in the “overworking themselves” department. Beloved cause I like to think she and Andy were the closest :) ..Keyword: WERE. (LIKE I SAID THEY DRIFTED APART)

•Golden delicious apples are described to be mild and sweet, kinda like red delicious apples. ..And the names also connect them, obviously. Which is why Amy is most like her dad.

Alice

•Her name means “noble”/”exalted”, which is why I made her to be slightly more elegant.

•Pink lady cause I thought it would be a more fitting apple for someone who's name is literally “noble” :) also, pink ladies are also described to have a sweet-tart flavor, which is why she takes after her grandmother the most, but is still definitely sweeter than her.

Andy (LAST ONE!!!! FINALLY)

•I chose fuji for him cause it's the sweetest apple :) kinda like how you can see granny Smith on the tart end of sweet-to-tart spectrum, you would almost always see fuji at the very end of the sweet side. Also I thought it would make sense that the oldest of their family would be on one end of the spectrum, while the youngest takes the other end.

(also PLEASE note that when I say tart I DO NOT MEAN THE OTHER MEANING!!!!! THEY ARE NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!)

[kyluxtrashpit]

do you identify more with Kylo or Hux?

For me, it's definitely Kylo. There's a ton of aspects of him that resonate with me - complicated family dynamics, emotional instability, abandonment issues, rocky sense of self, always feeling "othered" and generally being perceived as strange by other people, and his story in general is just. It's got the flavour that feels familiar and hits my brain just right lmao. Tbh the way he feels to me, at least when I first watched TFA, is like watching some kind of heavily fictionalized version of my own personal 'bad end' possibility. It probably helps that TFA came out during my own mid-20s 'wtf am I even doing' period too lmao, like that also is a significant part I think

I do relate to Hux in some ways too - I'm very particular about a lot of things and I really dislike incompetence when it comes to a professional setting, as examples, but he doesn't have the same species of brain problems as I do lmao. Kylo is a lot closer for me

[skateisawesome]

me when being autistic isn't just a little fun fact and is in fact ruining my life a little bit:

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Righ back at ya! You can pick whichever you wanna answer.

14, 17, 20, 24, 34, 35, 42.

14. Do you collect anything?: I have a vinyl record collection that I'm really proud of. Some of them I've bought just because I like the music (like the GOTG soundtrack) but I also collect vintage ones. My two crown jewels are my Tom Lehrer and Jim Nabors records both from 66 that I found at a thrift store and are in INCREDIBLY good condition. This is an old photo but here they are :) Look at them they're so beautiful

17. What’s one thing you want to buy, but don’t have the money or resources to get?: I always wanted a lego DeLorean ever since I was little, and I still hope to get one eventually

20. If you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what show would it be?: INSIDE JOB. It fell victim to the absolute bullshit that is Netflix but it was such a good show. Another one I'd choose would be Firefly, and I know a lot've folks would agree with me because Fox fucked that show over imo. At least we got the movie that I still haven't watched yet.

24. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?: The CIA killed JFK, the FBI killed MLK, and the crown had something to do with the death of Princess Diana. Hey, what's that red dot on my- *gets shot*

34. What’s your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?: I love watching a bunch of shows I did when I was little: The Crocodile Hunter, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, Fraggle Rock, The Muppet Show, David Attenborough documentaries, Reading Rainbow, things like that. I used to kinda be ashamed at admitting some of the shows very clearly meant for really young kids, but fuck it Mr. Rogers and LeVar Burton make me happy so who cares. I also love old game shows like Match Game 77 and Who's Line Is It Anyway

35. If you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?: I've always wanted to get a shaggy mullet haircut. Idk that's the dream for my trans ass

42. What’s one regret you have?: I deeply regret not admitting my love of horror to my grandmother on my mom's side before she died. Because of how strict and religious my family is, I kept that part of me hidden for a very long time. But when she passed and we were helping my grandfather clean out their house, I saw some of the horror movies they had in their dvd collection. It hit me then that I probably could've bonded with her over that especially since she was one of the "chiller" of my grandparents, and now I'd never be able to share that with her. That pair of grandparents lived in Las Vegas for most of my childhood and only moved to our state a couple of years before her death so we weren't incredibly close, but I still regret never even mentioning it every time I think of her.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

my friend i have never played mysmes but u are making me want to wahhh do u happen to have a recc or comment for someone who knows nothing about it !! hehe <3

CORA 🥹🥹🥹 i love youuu i miss you in my mind i’m kind of spinning u around clumsily until we both fall over . BUT WAHHHHHH I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING TO MYSELF WHO UR FAV WOULD BE LMAO …… i think maybe jumin just because he has sae vibes kinda . BUT LIKE HE’S CUTE…. but also in one of his bad endings he puts a tracking chip into the heels he bought you. anyway. OKAY SO !!!!

well rlly my first piece of advice is !!!! only play … if u have enough time . in your life . 😭😭 bc mysmes is a pretty unique otome game in the sense that you play the story in real time, meaning you have to check the app throughout the day and participate in enough chat rooms to avoid a bad ending (<- there are tons of these btw). no matter the route, it’ll take you eleven days to complete the story ! :3c i’m pretty sure you can’t miss more than 50% of the chats each day. and they pop up consistently every few hours or so! you cannnn use hourglasses to get chat rooms ’back’ after they disappear, though i wouldn’t recommend doing that since they cost money … they’re pretty cheap though so it’s up to u !!! just be aware that this game is infamous for ruining sleep schedules LMAO .

hmmmm also ! on the topic of bad ends, each route has like … seven ? endings in total and most are bad! (they’re generally rlly fucked up or crazy BHDJJS some are just sad though….) the ending you get depends on your story choices but also how active you are. to get a normal ending you need to make the right choices and keep your activity fairlyyyy high (again, 50% each day is probably enough?), and to get the good ending you need to do those things and invite enough guests to the rfa party (<- this will make sense once you play the game LMAO .. there are guides that’ll give you the ’correct’ guest responses, so i’d recommend using those :3c)

i think that’s it … i hope i’m not overwhelming u BHSHHSHS IT’S A RLLY FUN GAME . flaws aside. (each route has at least something that’ll make you go :/….. and again some bad ends areee sort of triggering so tread w caution ….. general tws for mysmes are cults(!!!), suicide, kidnapping, lots of bombs, yan cage shenanigans, dubcon-territory..)(i’m making it sound crazy and i mean it is but like it’s not . insane. other otomes are worse LMAO) I RLLY HOPE U LIKE IT …. i think you will ……….

[bajablast666]

For the yellow emoji asks: Kelrath: 🌽 (corn) (esp for the band au?), 🌻 (sunflower), 🔑 (key) Kaethan: 🍋 (lemon) thank you 💜!!

Thank you!

🌽 (corn) - What’s the hardest job your character has worked, if they’ve had a job at all? What made it so hard and what finally made them quit?

Kelrath in Band Au never had an official "real job". He helped his mom out at the diner since he was a child (we're talking 8 or 9 probably), mostly bussing tables or helping her prep ingredients at night or before they opened. Prepping ingredients is probably how he originally learned knife skills and that was probably his favorite thing to do. He still likes the motions and muscle memory of chopping vegetables, deboning chickens etc it takes him out of his own head and it's something that he's good at. Cooking is a skill you can perfect so it's something he still enjoys as an adult when he has the opportunity to do it (which is rare) After his mother died when he was 16-17ish he joined the band Lolth and the Dread Fangs as their new bassist. He didn't mind helping out at the diner because it was things he could do without having to talk to anyone and he could do without much thought. He didn't get paid for any of it though so working with the band was the first time he'd make money that was his to spend. In canon he and his mother were servants and that was something he hated. He hated being told what to do, to be viewed as nothing, to be spoken down to or outright abused. It was a degrading time of his life and a lot of the issues he has surrounding his pride and desire for autonomy stem back to that time. After his mother was killed, he killed everyone in the household and was conscripted into the Dread Fangs which was also awful but in a different way. At least as a Dread Fang though he had some measure of autonomy and privacy and got to do what he was best at (killing)

🌻 (sunflower) - What’s something your character has grown out of? Did it happen gradually or was it a drastic change? What caused this shift?

Oh this is a tough one, hmmm. In some ways Kelrath didn't really have childhood to grow out of. I think in both universes there's a common thread of "loss of innocence" that really reaches its climax when he performs his first kill. As a child and preteen Kelrath is very inside his own head, struggling against warring influences. The influence of his mother to be resilient, to strive for something, to do good despite hardship. And the darker, more authentic influence of his actual birthright--to reject ties of emotion, to commit acts of violence, to kill. In canon especially Kelrath had very little choice in anything--he's very much pulled back and forth between many different surrounding forces. Not to mention the fact that he was born into servitude (and as a male Drow at that). In the end, the only way to wrest any semblance of autonomy back for himself was basically to give up that very autonomy to Bhaal and the urge. It's not a choice that he can go back from, and everything changed after that.

🔑 (key) - What’s something your character has never told anyone? Why have they kept it a secret? What, if anything, would make them reveal it?

I think there's a lot that Kelrath has never told anyone because Kelrath is a very private person. He doesn't share details about himself. I think there are some things in canon that he's shared with Gortash and even Kaethan, little dismissive remarks or bits of information about his life in the Underdark but never anything too revealing ie "Pretty drow boys don't last long in the Underdark, trust me" "I met him during my time as a Dread Fang" "I killed my mother so I wouldn't know" etc In band au it's less information he's offered up and more inferences Gortash has been able to draw based on the fact that they are together so often on tour and writing music together. In both universes Gortash has gotten close enough to Kelrath to also pick up on the fact that he's aro/ace but that there's more to it than just that, has picked up on the fact that the depth of his disdain and disgust is a little too aggressive and reactive to just be that, that there's probably has some trauma behind it but he doesn't bother digging further than that. And now that I mention it, that said trauma is likely the only thing he truly won't share or admit. Not to anyone else and not even to himself. Because saying it, is thinking about it, is admitting that it happened. Kelrath is never going into detail about any of the moments that he was truly helpless or at the mercy of others.

And now for Kaethan!

🍋 (lemon) - What’s something your character never got over, if anything? Why did it affect them so much and is there any chance of them ever healing from it?

I think the thing that fucks Kaethan up the most is finding out why his mother left. Growing up he assumed it was because of his father being a violent drunk, that she escaped and left and he can't blame her too much for that. Sure, he would wonder why she didn't take him with her but he was willing to forgive that. In canon he eventually finds her and when he does she reveals that she left because she couldn't stand him. Not her husband but her son. And that he's not actually her son, she lost her child in childbirth and due to her grief and terror that her husband would blame her for the child's death, the temple where she'd gone to give birth gave her an orphaned half-elf infant that had been left on their doorstep that very morning. She took that child home, claiming it to be theirs and that child was Kaethan. She reveals to Kaethan, screaming in his face, that she always hated him, that he was a disturbed boy who would bring her dead insects, who'd sew pins into the dresses of rude customers, who'd say disturbing, off-putting things to clients. That he made her life worse and she left because she hated him. Unable to deal with this reality, Kaethan kills his mother In band au it's pretty similar except he kills her when he's very young (probably 8 or 9) finding her trying to leave in the middle of the night. she's his first kill in that au and he doesn't remember it until years later because the Urge had taken over. I think what makes this event truly traumatic for Kaethan (aside from, you know, the obvious) is that he thinks it proves everything that his father said about him right. That it WAS Kaethan's fault she left, that Kaethan ruins everything, that he's bad at everything and an awful son.

[kiqilinn]

milgram?

MILGRAM GOD. MILGRAMMMMM