#did persecutor

[fvck-around-find-out]

Bitter pill for some of you "good" alters to swallow, but some "bad" alters split because you needed someone to hate.

Some persecutors act the way that they do precisely so you'll direct your hate onto them, where it's safe, rather than anger your abuser or abuse an innocent yourself.

Maybe actually unpack why you hate that alter before you do. "But they did this or that or" yeah, maybe they fucking did. But why did they do it? Just to be a cunt? Maybe. Sometimes sure. But sometimes you need to look a little deeper and give your brain some fucking credit – it can do some messed up shit to keep you safe. Including creating an amalgamation of morally bad behaviour that you can feel good about taking your anger out on.

Except, sometimes, that amalgamation has feelings and a name and know what their job is, and don't enjoy it. They do it because it's the only way to guarantee you're not going to cuss out your abuser and get you all hurt or killed.

[edensgatecoll]

“Persecutors are EVIL! Don’t let your persecutors talk to me they scare me! I don’t care if they’re healing they’re a PERSECUTOR!” Kill yourself.

[basicsinpersecutorsnprosecutors]

I have an idea, mind telling the audience what the difference between a PERsecutor and a PROsecutor is? I get pissed off when people mix upon the terms.

A PERsecutor Hurts People WITHIN The System.

A PROsecutor Hurts People OUTSIDE The System.

You CAN BE BOTH A Prosecutor And A Persecutor, But DON'T Get The Terms Mixed Up.

[reimeichan]

I'm a persecutor.

I know it's easier to ignore us, to lock us away. We're the ugly parts of you, after all. The parts of you that you wish never existed, that you don't want anyone else to see. The parts that try to hurt people and hurt you for whatever reason. I get it, it's really fucking frustrating to deal with us.

Sorry pal, but we exist. Trying to ignore us just makes our pain stronger. Trying to punish us keeps makes us want want to hurt you back. Trying to lock us away make our emotions grow more and more. You can't get rid of us. We're you, even if you wish we weren't.

And that means you gotta deal with us.

Yeah, I get it. You don't want us causing you trouble in your oh-so-perfect life. Ruining your friendships, your school, your job, your reputation. You think by getting rid of us you're dealing with us. Stop it.

Please, stop it.

It hurts, so fucking much. Don't you see why we exist? We're the parts of you who went through some of the worst traumas of the system. We act this way because it's what fucking got us through life. To survive. You probably don't see it that way, hell you probably don't even remember the things I had to go through. And I may not either! But I still exist. And if you push me away, that means you're rejecting a part of you.

Even if you see me as a separate person or a separate entity, at the end of the day.... we share a brain. A life. Am I not allowed to live my own fucking life with you? Do I not deserve the same kind of help? Hell, if you want selfish reasons, helping me, genuinely, trying to be kind to me, will help you. Maybe I'll actually try to work with you instead of against you. Or maybe I'll even just leave you alone! Or, or, get this. I change for the better, and I start trying to help out instead of doing damage. Yeah? Sounds nice, right?

I'm so sick and tired of people saying how it's okay to lock up their persecutors and punish them. No! Stop that! Punishment doesn't work. Yes, we should have consequences for our actions that are a direct result of our behaviors. I was shitty to a friend? I lose the trust of that friend. I hurt the body? I have to sit with the pain myself. But that's not fucking, locking us away forever.

I mean, sure. I get it. Sometimes we're out of control and you need some way to get that control back under your belt. And yeah, maybe you need to temporarily keep us away from front and away from other alters. But.... it really, really shouldn't be permanent. We also deserve to learn healthier behavior and healthier coping habits and a safe space to express ourselves. Fuck, if you could help us find healthier ways of expression that would be great!

Just please, please. Stop hurting us the same way we were hurt as kids.

[sirstrangeface]

Normalize letting the persecutors front and do whatever they want <333

[mememydid]

Very happy to say that in our system of a few hundred alters, where only one Persecutor has healed themselves enough to become a Persecutor Protector, today another has started working on healing himself as well.

I know he's reading this. I know that you're trying. Thank you.

[horrorcrew-diary]

It is absolutely 100% okay to love, date, and fuck persecutors btw. Persecutors are still people, just like the rest of us. They're simply doing their job. They deserve love and romance and sex if that's what they want.

Minors dni with this post.

[aether-amalgam-system]

Btw, as someone in therapy for DID with a therapist trained to work with DID, the best way to “deal with” alters dubbed as persecutors/perpetrators/abuser introjects/etc is to recognize that they’re not there for no reason or for a bad reason.

In psychology and in really really advanced forms of PTSD, trauma responses go far beyond fight/flight/freeze. In more advanced forms of PTSD, there is also “submit” and “identify”. They are both ways to minimize trauma sustained from abusers. Submit is basically just doing as you’re told to avoid getting in more trouble/danger. Identify is when you begin to identify yourself with your abuser/s, telling yourself that they’re right, you ARE bad, you deserve it etc etc etc.

And that’s what persecutors (which is the term I’m gonna use in this post, but please know I mean abuser introjects/perpetrators as well when I say this) are there to do, a good deal of the time. They’re there to identify with the system’s abuser/s to keep the system from being abused further. If you obey, do as you’re told, believe the lies, then you’re more likely to be treated “better” in many abuse situations. (This is why submit and identify are present in more advanced cases of PTSD, as well as fight/flight/freeze).

So how does this information help us as systems?

Well, step one is to realize NO PART is there for NO REASON! Every part has a role and a part to play, even if they don’t “seem” to have one.

Step two is to realize that persecutor parts are using skills that USED TO keep you safe/safer in the past, but are damaging you now. A lot of the time, there is a scared, damaged, traumatized child underneath the big bad wolf.

Step three is to just talk to them. Why do you do this? How is this helping you/us? What purpose did these behaviors serve and what are they doing now? And then, bear with me here, tell them thank you. Compassion and kindness are KEY to healing any type of trauma, with or without a dissociative disorder. And that means compassion with EVERY PART OF SELF, including the “difficult” ones.

And then step four is to strive for safety. Safety isn’t always possible immediately or even in the near future, but you CANNOT heal if you remain in an abusive or unsafe environment. Sometimes you need to make very difficult or scary decisions to achieve safety, which is the only place parts/alters can heal.

If you’re safe, compassionate, and open with your parts, things WILL become better. I promise you that. I’ve only just started my healing journey and I’ve been in EMDR therapy for over a year now and it’s JUST BEGINNING! It takes a lot of time and healing isn’t a straight line either, so there will be relapses and downward slopes, but you can NEVER go back to square one because you’ve already left that station. You can have the worst episode of your life and you will STILL not be back to square one, because of the information and wisdom and tools you have gathered and learned from your healing journey. And every upswing will be faster and stronger than the last.

Anyway, I can already smell the people obsessed with abusing their persecutors/other peoples persecutors, so imma give you my source for this information.

Read the book Finding Solid Ground or get the Finding Solid Ground workbook, by Hugo J. Schielke, Bethany L. Brand, and Ruth A. Lanius. My therapy group is working through this book and so far it’s been extremely helpful and enlightening. My therapist likes to tell me “if it doesn’t serve you, leave it behind” and by that I mean: if something in the book is unhelpful to you or if you’re recommended a coping skill that you find unhelpful after trying it a couple times, then just leave it behind. If it doesn’t work for you, then it doesn’t work. And that’s ok!

This book isn’t necessarily just for people with dissociative disorders, it’s geared towards all people with trauma and ptsd, but any type of PTSD recovery is going to help people with dissociative disorders heal because that’s the basis for the disorder!

Anyway, long post over. This is just a bit that I’ve learned from my therapist and the group that I’ve been attending for over a year now. It’s amazing, but you do have to BUY the book, I don’t know if you can find it online… I had to buy it because it was for the group so. It’s a little steep, but if you can get your hands on it, I would recommend it immensely!

❤️‍🩹 (he/it)

[thecorvidforest]

listen as a persecutor in recovery i cannot stress enough how weird and gross and fucked up it is that some of y’all in the plural community treat persecutors so badly just on merit of them being persecutors.

i read something recently where the OP encouraged systems to permanently lock up their persecutors so everyone else can heal and they can’t. i’ve seen posts where hosts and protectors brag about the awful things they do to persecutors. i’ve seen so many depictions even by other systems showing persecutors as irredeemable evil subhuman creatures. it’s fucking disgusting. you know what kind of behavior that is? abusive. it’s abusive behavior.

[undead-furbies]

Host posing in pictures: 😍✌️

Traumaholder / Persecutor posing: 😈🖕

[fvck-around-find-out]

"Healing is not becoming the best version of yourself, healing is letting the worst version of yourself be loved." — Kobe Campbell, LCMHC

[basicsinpersecutorsnprosecutors]

👏 MAKE 👏 THE 👏 OC 👏 RELAPSE 👏 INSTEAD 👏 OF 👏 YOU

[reimeichan]

Helping Alters with Persecutory Behavior

Persecutors are a part of the system, whether you like it or not. Trying to pretend otherwise very often results in people getting hurt and the persecutor acting out anyways. Even non-persecutors may engage in actions that are harmful or destructive. So how do you help an alter who displays persecutory behavior?

This post got pretty long, so I'm putting the things under a read more.

1. Be respectful

All alters and parts of yourself deserve respect. Respect is not bending over backwards and being nice at all moments to them, nor is it believing everything they say no matter what. Respect is merely acknowledging they have a right to exist alongside you, and with that right to existence means a right to have their own thoughts and feelings and emotions, should they have any. You don't have to agree with everything. But you should not demean or belittle them simply for existing.

2. But also, be firm

Many persecutors and alters with persecutory behavior do not understand how their behavior hurts others or even how their behavior hurts themselves. To protect yourself from further harm, it's important to stay firm with them and establish rules, guidelines, and boundaries with them.

3. Try to understand why they behave the way they do

This is a tricky one. Oftentimes, persecutors don't fully understand why they act and think the way they do. Many may even argue that they simply "enjoy hurting others" or something to that effect. Always try to dig deeper. Are they bored? Is it some form of maladaptive behavior or a trauma response? Do they not know any other way to communicate? Sometimes the alter or part may not even know the answer(s) themselves and it's important to try to explore these questions with the alter.

4. Do not force engagement with the alter, but do acknowledge their existence

This ties back into point #1 a little bit. Persecutory alters often aren't team players and don't do well being forced into doing things with other alters. However, the answer is not to ignore them in these cases, but to simply let them be. If they wish to retreat further into the headspace, let them. If they wish to be left alone but continue to be co-conscious, you can try to engage in activities they may find interesting to show that you care about them. By acknowledging their existence but also respecting their own boundaries, you are helping to establish trust between the two of you.

5. Help find healthier coping strategies and redirect unhealthy behaviors

Many alters with persecutory behavior act the way they do because they don't know how else to express their thoughts and emotions. You can help them be heard by finding ways for them to communicate in less destructive ways. If the issue is less about communication and more about coping, you can widen their coping toolbox by introducing new coping methods and strategies.

6. Be willing to listen, but don't force them to open up.

Alters will open up when they’re ready to. Trying to force persecutory alters to speak up often results in them feeling hurt, scared, frustrated, or distrustful. Establish a sense of safety by showing you are non-judgmental of their thoughts and feelings, and eventually they may open up in their own time.

7. Meet them where they're at

Not all persecutors are the same. Some like a challenge and are more willing to communicate through yelling and argument. Some would prefer for you to poke and prod as much as possible before they finally open up. Some don't want to be seen as if they're hurting or traumatized. Whatever the case may be, take any of the above as guidelines for helping persecutory parts and not as hard and fast rules.

8. Don't forget to take care of yourself

Above all else, take care of your own needs. If you're not in a situation to be able to handle a persecutor or an alter with persecutory behavior, then don't do it. If you feel tired or burnt out, take time to recuperate. Helping the other alters in your system takes time and effort. Growth and recovery don't happen overnight, after all.

[persecutorcultureis]

Persecutor culture is looking at someone you hate and thinking how easy they would be to hurt.

What soft skin you have, my dear, wouldn’t it be a shame if someone were to tear it open. What a small neck, my hands would fit around it perfectly.

How they would squirm and cry as I slice through their skin, to get a look at that pretty spine…

Obligatory statement: I do not condone irl murder or abuse. The above is just a fantasy, I do not plan to act on it in any manner.

𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘊𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘐𝘴 . . .

[ammonite-collective]

If some persecutors could weigh in with your experiences, we’d love to hear from you! We have a persecutor turned protector but it would be great to get more perspectives. You will be listened to and we do not consider you to be evil or hopeless. If you are comfortable, we would love to hear your reasoning behind actions or whatever you’d like to share with us. Asks are open for you if you want to stay anonymous or reblogs are always an option! Thank you for your input

[the-sys-of-puppets]

this persecutor loves their system so so much. BUT OH MY FUCKING GODS CAN YOU MAKE A SINGLE SMART DECISION FOR YOUR FUTURE ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!?? GODDAMN, I DONT CARE IF IM HURTING YOU IN THE SHORT TERM I JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD QUALITY OF LIFE EVENTUALLY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-circuit ⚙️