#do we think ralph is a virgo

[meowsercat]

has anyone done zodiac sign headcanons for the lotf boys can we please get on that

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” - they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them! Get in contact with them on Facebook, shipping to the U.S. only, and tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

Normally there’s a topic, a running theme throughout the ‘Scopes, and for those of you wanting to follow along with it, we’d just like to say… “You’re Welcome!” We’re touring through the villain archives to see who you best oppose. Or maybe you’re conspiring with them? Would we even know if you were? Hmmm….. 

Aries 

If there was a choice for “Dapper but Deadly”, it’s likely hard to outshine Professor Ratigan from “The Great Mouse Detective”. Voiced by one of the greatest evil voices known, a one mister Vincent Price, he’s forever angry because everyone THINKS he’s a rat, but he’s actually a mouse… a rather rotund mouse, but still a mouse. So This Week… There’s nothing wrong with being a little portly to show that you’ve got some wealth. But remember, if your arch nemesis is in better shape than you are, you might have a bad day.

Taurus 

If we’re going to judge a villain on their voice actors, then we’re about to have some serious Kleenex moments. As a monstrous twist reveal in “Wreck-It Ralph” we find out that King Candy is ACTUALLY the villain! Voiced by mister Alan Tudyk, the villainy is truly terrifying as you watch the movie multiple times. So This Week… If you see someone slurping on a candy cane, do NOT say to them, “I am a leaf on the wind!” You won’t live to regret it. 

Gemini 

Your villain comes from a fairly problematic source, but can be easily defeated. The Queens of Hearts from “Alice in Wonderland” seems to be a hammer in search of a nail - and by “Hammer” we mean “Axe” and by “Nail” we mean, “Someone’s Neck”. She’s vain and petty and so full of herself that she forgets that a far-less complicated game mechanic can end her. So This Week… Remember that “Scissor Beats Paper”... alternatively so does “Magnifrying Lens”. Use them both to your benefit.

Cancer Moon-Child 

Would you look at that! A villain who discovered the old proverb, “Beware of what you wish - You might just get it.” The amazingly short-sighted and hubristically-challenged Jafar from “Aladdin”. How he got a parrot without having a pirate pedigree is anyone’s guess - and worse yet why he didn’t strangle that damned bird for his voice alone defies explanation. So This Week… Summer is coming up before you know it. Start making a Sultana's Silk Outfit so you have something to wear to the beach. 

Leo 

If you thought we were ONLY taking on Disney Villains… Well, yeah, it kinda worked out that way. So you’re being… is “Gifted” even the right word for this? You get General Grievous from the “Star Wars” Universe. The fact that he has a collection of, at minimum, FOUR Lightsabres is nothing short of miraculous. But that he can spin them like a Whirling Dervish and carve up the ground is just short-sighted as hell. So This Week… If you want to beat the General in one-on-one lightsabre battle, just get him on an outcropping of stone and wait for him to break all the flooring under himself. Gravity can be your friend.

Virgo 

Going sideways from “Star Wars”, you’ve gained a follower from “The Mandalorian” in the form of Moff Gideon. He is ruthless, conniving, has long-believed that “Overkill is Underutilized”, and is possibly Pant-shittingly terrified of Luke Skywalker! So This Week… If you want to kill Gideon it’ll take a wheelchair, a canister of oxygen, and a high explosive to detonate it all. Or maybe he’ll just turn into Harvey Dent. Hmmm…

Libra

Your villain can best be described as “MAD”! Meet Merlin’s almost equal Madam Mim from “The Sword in the Stone”. Yes, it’s a semi-recent retelling of the King Authur fable, but with some interesting Wizard Warfare. So This Week… Do you know how to defeat a wizard that changes into a Fire Breathing Dragon? Ask the Martians from “War of the Worlds”. Oh, right! You can’t because they’re all dead. 

Scorpio 

If we told you Mother Gothel was a horrible mother, you’d agree with us, right? Of course you would. Because the villain from “Tangled” is only interested in her own life and health and her daughter is just a vehicle to continue it. So This Week… What do you mean you’ve never seen that movie?! What kind of heathen are you, even? Oh… Oh, you’re just trying to Out-Villian your villain? Ok. Ok, you know what? Not bad! Almost had us going there a second.

Sagittarius 

When your villain name is, literally, The Evil Queen, you’ve got a certain presence to uphold. In the story of “Snow White” she’s vain enough to sanction murder-for-hire, and with enough misplaced trust to believe that her underling wouldn’t defy her. Thus proving If You Want Something Done Right, Just Do It Yourself. So This Week… Just get out there and do it yourself! I mean… it’s a simple idea, right? 

Capricorn 

There are various terms we could use for your villain… “Bitch” being one that we’d LIKE to use, but technically can’t because she’s human and not canine. Cruella de Vil from “101 Dalmations” just wanted to be dressed in the most over-the-top fur jacket because… I mean, she wanted… Ok, we really don’t know WHY, we just know that was her whole reason for wanting Pongo and Perdita and their pups. So This Week… Let’s be real here; the ONLY way for them to have 100 pups would be for there to be… Well, let’s not get graphic here and just say, “That’s a LOT of breeding time. Right?” 

Aquarius 

We’ll level with you, we’re not really familiar with your villain from “The Black Cauldron”, the Horned King. He looks like a cross between The Red Skull and Skelletor, but with no magical ram-headed staff. On the bright side he doesn’t sound like Starscream either. SO This Week… Watch the movie and write a report on it for us to understand it, because we can’t be bothered to watch it ourselves.

Pisces  

And finally, we’re back to the Star Wars Universe and bringing you a former Jedi Padawan turned assassin! No, it’s not Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader! She was trained in the ways of the dark side by Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress turned out to be pretty good at what she did. But not good enough - because it wasn’t her that killed Dooku! If she was a better-trained killer, maybe just maybe she’d’ve taken over and been The Emperor’s right hand instead. So This Week… being the Right Hand in the Star Wars Universe tends to be a bad thing. Maybe don’t try so hard to be that high in the organization.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Facebook, Discord, and BLUESKY.

[theshipsong]

its scares me that a good chunk of the characters.(notable ones too) we need to delve deeper into them ie july leos vs august leos. also how yams is a virgo himself but putting like 2 of the arguably worst characters (karina and rod reiss) as virgos. also if yams is the creator of the world, that means aot world's god is a virgo?????

begging for astrology asks

yams put himself in a sandwich between a cop (MP ralph aug 26) and karina (sept 3) like?? virgo is notably the least populated of all the signs in my all character breakdown, like he wanted to avoid himself, but the narrative weight these virgos pull does the opposite imo

on leo: you have fallen into my trap of advanced/esoteric soapboxing: decanates. so! each sign is a 30 degree wedge in the sky. the sun moves about 1-degree per day, hence why each sun sign "season" is a month long. astrologers divide these 30 degrees into 10-degree (in sun terms, 10 days) slivers called decans. there are different ancient systems of assigning planetary rulers to these decans, but the most popular, chaldean, has uses in tarot

1st decan (mostly july), ruled by saturn: willy, niccolo, sasha, dina fritz, zeke, reiner

2nd decan, approx. aug. 2-11, ruled by jupiter: onyankapon, pieck, marcel

3rd decan, approx. aug 12-22, ruled by mars: colt, keith shadis

the decans create basically 36 mini-signs, which neatly corresponds to the minor arcana of tarot without the court cards. for leo, we're in the fire suit of wands that is the most MARtial:

1st decan = ♄ = 5 of wands

2nd decan = ♃ = 6 of wands

3rd decan = ♂ = 7 of wands

the pamela colman smith cards:

the five of wands shows a kind of pointless fight. night of the end vibes. aggression for aggression's sake, prolonging a conflict because well! we're in it. i like seeing niccolo and reiner here as soldiers who came to paradis and were challenged and changed, much like the joining the cadets did for sasha and her libertarianism. but also, doesn't it look like stage combat like from stupid willy tybur's fuckass play?

the six of wands is so painfully what all the warriors, or soldiers in general, are taught to aspire to: surviving war, returning home, and earning recognition. it's a card for honorary marleyans, but the trio of characters whose birthdays are here is kinda sad: marcel never made it home; ony's home country is presumably rumbled; pieck only cares about her dad, not any wider renown or the myth of eldian atonement

the seven of wands is so... so... colt and shadis. oh my fucking god. i'm kinda ill looking at it ngl. they both could have saved themselves, if colt literally just ran for cover from falco's transformation, if shadis jumped ship like magath told him to, but they go down fighting, to protect other people. kids! shadis still looks at the 104th as his students. jesus christ

further things about leo in AoT:

of my chosen major characters the only paradisians are sasha and shadis

three sets of warrior + parent: dina fritz and zeke, reiner and sperm contributor, and pieck and her dad. we can throw in colt grice and his uncle

zeke, marcel, and colt. two brothers GOAT chapter episode

i've said this elsewhere but i'm quite sure the return to shiganshina arc happens in the fall, zeke, reiner, and pieck all had birthdays back to back on that docked marleyan warship, i assume. do they actually celebrate? doubt it

and not to be dark on your last point: virgo is a maiden, the mutable earth sign. i think it's genesis 7 where a million different translations say the abrahamic god made adam out of dust, clay, soil, etc. if there is a creator god, it's founder ymir.

[power-chords]

The signs as insane shit Al Pacino says in Heat (1995):

Aries: “I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to… you can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch MY! FUCKING! TELEVISION SET!”

Taurus: “What are you going to take them on? Breaking and entering? They didn't steal anything, don't you get it? It gets knocked back to some chickenshit misdemeanor, they do six months, and they’re out. No fucking way. … That's exactly what they're gonna do, they're gonna walk. This is my operation, I have tactical command that supersedes your rank, they will walk away, and you will let them. FUCK!”

Gemini: “Empathy was yesterday. Today, you’re wasting my motherfucking time. … GIMME ALL YA GOT! GIMME ALL YA GOT!”

Cancer: “I gotta hold onto my angst. I preserve it. Because I need it. It keeps me sharp,” [snap] “On the edge,” [snap] “Where I gotta be.”

Leo: “‘Cause she got a GREAT ASS! And you got your head ALL THE WAY UP IT! When I think of asses… a woman’s ass… something comes out of me.”

Virgo: “My life? No, my life’s a disaster zone. I got a stepdaughter so fucked up because her real father's this large-type asshole. I got a wife, we're passing each other on the down-slope of a marriage — my third — because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block, that’s my life.”

Libra: “You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow — brother, you are going down.”

Scorpio: “Oh, I see. What I should do is, er, come home and say, ‘Hi honey! Guess what? I walked into this house today, where this junkie asshole just fried his baby in a microwave because it was crying too loud. So let me share that with you. Come on, let's share that, and in sharing it, we'll somehow, er, cathartically dispel all that heinous shit.’ Right? Wrong.”

Sagittarius: “It’s like you said. All I have is what I’m going after. I’m not what you want, Justine.”

Capricorn: “I told you when we hooked up, baby, that you were gonna have to share me with all the bad people and ugly events on this planet.”

Aquarius: “You know what? Neil is gone. Bam! Flying like a bird. … Got. Got. What've we got? WHAT’VE WE GOT? Bon voyage, motherfucker. You were good. I'm going to the hotel. Gonna take a shower. Gonna sleep… for a month.”

Pisces: “You know I have this recurring dream. I’m sitting at this big banquet table and all the victims of all the murders I ever worked are sitting at this table, and they’re staring at me with these black eyeballs — because they got 8-ball hemorrhages from the head wounds. And there they are, these big balloon people, because I found them two weeks after they’ve been under the bed. The neighbors reported the smell. And there they are, all of ’em. Just sitting there.”

[macchiatosdumptruck]

so we know johnny’s a leo, daniel’s a sagittarius, and robby’s an aquarius. what star sign do you think terry and kreese are? the latter gives me either scorpio or taurus vibes. terry makes me think of either virgo or aquarius. also: what year was daniel born? I always thought he turned 18 in kk1, but i read the waxing on book by ralph and he says that daniel turned 16! wtf?

Okay, so according to the dubious kk wiki Terry is a Gemini.

I pause for jokes here.

"can't help being a Gemini" (much respect to the Gemini peeps)

I could see him as an aquarius though.

Also, according to the same source John is a Libra. Although I don't know if I ever saw him as anything other than an earth sign tbh.

I headcanon Amanda as a Taurus because I'm a Taurus lol.

As for Daniel's age, it's whatever it needs to be for the story to work.

I believe he turned 16 in the first movie. But some claim he turned 18.

But then he immediately graduated in tkk2 at the end of the year?

He participated in the under 18 avt in tkk3, but then he also gets a lease on a building...

I personally headcanon him as 18 in the third movie because I just can't get over the thought of the state of California allowing a 17 year old a lease.

So, basically, he is however old we/the writers want/need him to be.

I don't really know enough about astrology to give any deeper insight that that.

[crystalsenergy]

quotes to inspire and empower each sign in 2021 🎆

Venus is the ruling planet in 2021. we have to learn to put our efforts into practice and focus on build a great sense of self-worth.

here's quotes to inspire each sign to think more about what they have to work on this year.

Aries: “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Taurus: “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Confucius

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” Joshua J. Marine

Gemini: “Happiness is a way of travel. Not a destination.” Roy Goodman

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Charlie Chaplin

Cancer: “Keep your goals away from the trolls.” Unknown

“You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to.” Chris Guillebeau

Leo: “Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as a flawed individual and still hold yourself in regard.” Esther Perel

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” Unknown

Virgo: “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius

“You cannot change the circumstances but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” Jim Rohn

Libra: “How many success stories do you need to hear before you make your own?” Unknown

“Fear leads to self-doubt which is the worst enemy of creativity.” David Ogilvy

Scorpio: “The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

Sagittarius: “Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton

Capricorn: “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” Les Brown

“The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” Stephen Covey

Aquarius: “If people aren't laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren't big enough.” Grayson Marshall

“Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” Reinhold Niebuhr

Pisces: “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Oprah Winfrey

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” Robert H. Schuller

[carltonlassie]

sooj I want your astrological analysis of Billy & Ralph

Ok as I was doing their birth charts it kinda... I saw a lot of overlaps with Johnny & Daniel honestly, and I guess they could be channeling themselves into those characters a lot more than I thought they were? or maybe im projecting. I'm prefacing this by saying that I'm not an astrologer and I don't know these guys personally so I have no business saying any of these things about them lmao. Also without a precise birth time, things might be inaccurate/incomplete.

also i swear im not crazy. This is just for fun!

Virgo Moon

Ralph and Billy both have Virgo moons, which means they’re both analytical, detail-oriented, neat, and reliable. When I think of virgos, I think of "I can fix it." They can be the best at supporting others, because they can see how to make things better. They love to be useful and needed. Aim to please! They have a lot to give as well.

But then they can be uncomfortable with being on the receiving end. They love to support others, really generously, but they feel uncomfortable/vulnerable when they're in the position to receive help from others.

They can come across as underachievers, like they lack self-confidence and they're content with living a regular, simple life. But nothing wrong with that.

They can also be p judgy of others, but that’s bc they’re their own biggest critic. The perfectionism can make it difficult to get out the self-deprecating spiral. They have to have something going on with work or something else to keep their critical mind at bay.

Virgo moons love running errands, paying bills, getting things organized and neatly done. and all i can think about is this picture. grocery buddies. getting things done together. jsfjsdfhsdf

They might not be gushy with their displays of affection, but they're not shy when they become comfortable. :))

Sun

Billy has Libra sun, which makes him super adaptable. A classic social butterfly, natural diplomats. Great hosts! The sun-moon combo makes him charming and sociable but also organized and keen on detail. He's probably the guy who's super nice to you and he means it. Like, people will definitely feel that he sincerely takes interest in their problems. Billy might take on a lot of macho roles, but he really is just... a nice guy! Decent chap! Soft, sensitive, nice guy that's not "manly man macho" at all. Neat, tidy, appreciates and sees the beauty in everything, sociable and will try to listen and help you with ur problems. I can see problems with making decisions because he has to weigh both sides like a libra, but also has to go through all the details like a virgo before making a decision. When confronted with a decision, he'll prob be like "What, me? No, I just want peace." 💀 But with his other placements, it def could be lessened (like his sag mars?).

Ralph’s sun is Scorpio. We all think Scorpio is this INTENSE sexual sign but I feel that they’re just softies who want to make a deep connection, but they're just afraid of getting hurt that they seem "mysterious" to others. Virgo moon’s need for stability combined with Scorpio sun's intense need for connection makes his need for a stable relationship v strong, and we know how he is with his wife and family :)) He's focused, intense, introverted and precise. Sensitive. Combine the perception, passion of a scorpio with the analytical, caring mind of a virgo. Very perceptive, very good at discerning lies from truths. He might not have a LOT of friends, but will have genuine and good people in his inner circle. Really modest despite his allure for sure. It's def like "how big is that dick?" "small, leave me alone" vibe lol. Not big on promoting himself / putting himself in the light, but happy to share his light with others. They like to direct the attention on someone else (billy — during interviews we see billy talking more and ralph chiming in and adding that +α to the convo). He could also definitely be argumentative and opinionated at times, but they don't like making a scene. This sun-moon combo don't mind poking fun at themselves in a self-deprecating way.

Mercury

Their mercury signs are the opposite of their sun signs, Billy with Scorpio mercury, Ralph with Libra mercury.

Ralph: Scorpio Sun - Libra Mercury: Before coming to an opinion on a subject, he listens to the opinions offered by various people and can compare them before making up his own mind. The scorpio sun - scorpio mercury could come across as creepy and intense but since his mercury is in libra, he knows all about social niceties. Loves flirting and are actually good at it without appearing awkward and scary. It could seem like they know how to balance their raw plutonic energy (even though they might not be on the inside lol - daniel larusso moments away from going unhinged? 🤔)

Billy: Libra Sun - Scorpio Mercury: Extremely observant and astute, always reading between the lines and looking for the real meaning behind things. They are able to look at something and see the fundamental issue at play. He Understands. Dissects. Other Libra Sun mercury combo aren't as concerned with getting to the bottom of things, as they're more focused on pleasing. Sharp observer. They are savvy with bureaucracy not because they are bureaucrats but because they know how to warp the rules.

I think billy's scorpio mercury def works in favor of them understanding each other, bc ralph's scorpio sun wouldn't want someone who's superficial & focused on pleasing others at the sake of being authentic. The conjunction between their sun-mercury prob means that they can solve most problems when they put their heads together. There is respect for each other's intelligence and a good understanding between the two. A real meeting of the minds.

Venus & Mars

Billy has his venus and mars both in sagittarius

big smiles, laughs, jokes, friendly flirty behavior. they want to learn new things, experience new things together. they can be a bit confusing, vacillating between lighthearted and serious. they don't commit as easily as others though. hate it when things get dull, gotta always be on the move for something new and exciting. they love people in love with life.

mars in sag though, when they get angry, they feel like running. they have to do something, but about something else altogether. no patience to wait things out. restless and adventurous. physical activity should be their outlet. fun loving and playful. loves to wing it. direct and blunt approach, also obvious in bed. they're not too patient when sex gets too intricate or serious though. they could be having a good time, joking around, but sometimes they could be really intense and passionate (think of gemini but they're on fire). they hate being caged in and without any breathing room. they need to feel free once in a while or it gets suffocating for them.

Ralph has Venus in Libra and Mars in Scorpio.

kind, gentle lover, willingness to make the relationship work. hate bad manners and abrasiveness, they hate to be treated unfairly. They love to share everything with you, love to communicate about the relationship. It's almost a turn on to share and talk about the relationship. polished manner in love can make them seem insincere or superficial, but his other placements probably make it less so.

Mars in Scorpio though 👀 strong sexual stamina. They can keep their cool on the surface, but on the inside, whew. They're not going to let you in easily, but they see through others, and once you're in they can be possessive of their partner. They enjoy scenarios where the "other" is giving into them, wants them completely. Their sexual appeal is strong enough that they generally get what they want. There's something provocative about him.

Some aspects

Ralph:

sun conjunc neptune

Makes him softer, unselfish, (even submissive). one with partner, family, community, compassionate. has a way of easing things, something unmistakably dreamy and sensitive. doesn't wanna be defined by ego. also hard to pin these people down. certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart (scorpio sun/mars), adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality.

mercury square saturn

this aspect kinda makes you traditional & reserved, shy. sometimes pessimistic and deliberately dishonest... May adhere to discipline and observing law and order. paying attention to minute details. this placement tends to attract older, male mentors? methodical mind and probably the kind which can produce a good organizer

moon trine jupiter

mostly optimistic, and he's pretty lucky. generally warm and fun to be around. believes that people are good in general, sincere friendships, usually well liked and appreciated at work.

Billy:

Venus Conjunct Mars

feelings are something he can express with ease. Everything physical is high on his list of favorites — sports, outdoor activities, and also sex 👀

uranus conjunct pluto

intense need for freedom but also subjects you to powerful controlling forces. A feeling of being restrained or manipulated by people or society, in general, can cause agitation, defiance and rebellion. A lack of stability or inconstancy of purpose can lead to many ups and downs in life.

mars square saturn

this one is a wild one. Mars wants to move forward and go fast, but saturn wants to slow down and restrict. It's like.. when you have two objects tied to an elastic and throw it, the push and pull between that tie makes its trajectory wobbly and jerky... essentially you could act decisively, with courage and strength, then fear, doubt or limitation kick in and you stop or give up – until your energy returns and you crack on again.

Conclusion

overall stable, good friends who GET each other, and they'll def enjoy each other's company to a degree.

though... i feel like i should point this out these two bits in their synastry chart:

Ralph's mars squares billy's pluto, which is a challenging aspect. With Mars square Pluto in synastry, there's intense sexual attraction and passion and the sexual side of the relationship can be incredible. Very raw and physical relationship. But it could be destructive or temperamental. If unchecked, it will turn very toxic/dangerous/volatile. It will be very difficult to pick oneself up after such a relationship. If it ends, there are likely to be hard feelings.

Ralph's Venus squares Billy's Pluto, also a challenging aspect. A very strong passion and attraction. Chances are you are immediately attracted to each other when you meet. This relationship can be very healing, but it could turn to a nightmare really easier. Raw and destructive at times. Jealousy, possessiveness, and resentment are very possible. If the relationship ends, it is difficult to remain friends, as one person feels burned. Or it's hard to finish the relationship. When you want to walk away, there is something that brings you back.

[francesbeau]

The Moon Signs of Bojack Horseman Characters

Just my opinion, I am not aware of the canon moon signs if there are any. :)

Mr Peanutbutter - Leo Moon in the 7th House: Although it may seem stereotypical to give the character who loves attention a Leo placement, I do actually think this makes sense. A key component of the Leo moon is that they love to entertain others and have an easy flow of charisma. Both things are applicable to Mr peanutbutter and we can see this most prominently through the various types of events he puts on within his house ie. a reality TV show, election campaign etc, etc. Another, more negative aspect of the Leo moon is their childish nature that can be transmuted into arrogance. We constantly see Mr. PB engage in very childish acts, such as buying Diane a belle themed library, and his childish nature can be argued to be one of the main facets of his personality that he tries to eradicate towards the series denouement. As the Moon represents relationships with the parents, specifically the mother, this childishness can be reflected in the parents outlook on life. Whilst there is no indication Mr Peanutbutter sees his parents as childish as the audience we can deduct that they most definitely are, partly from being dogs and also their inability to teach him about ‘important’ matters, such as death, preferring to say that a dead relative has gone to a ranch and is having a relaxing time. Because Leo is represented by the lion another key factor of Leo moons is there obsession with pride, we see this multiple times throughout his trajectory but more importantly we see him take pride in his friends accomplishments, Todd’s various creations, Bojack’s role, Diane’s intellect - this love of other people transpires to his Leo moon being in the 7th house. So, the 7th house is ruled by Libra and because of this people with the moon in this house can place a lot of emphasis on romantic relationships, finding love to be the sole benefactor to their emotional upkeep. He definitely does have his emotional security come from his romances, shown very clearly through his inability to remain single - the childlike nature of the Leo moon comes into shine when in these relationships too as he often only pursues women who are a lot younger than him. Many argue that this is due to a darker desire for unfair power dynamics but I see it as hum just trying to find a woman who shares his youthful ideals, someone like pickles. 

Bojack - Scorpio Moon in the 10th house: Again, it may seem redundant to give the cynical character with a bad childhood a Scorpio moon but I do actually think it matches up well. The Scorpio moons relationship with the mother is known to be turbulent, with the mother often not providing the child wit the correct emotional nurturing. But another aspect of the mother is that she can be seen to be highly secretive, this is definitely true for Beatrice, she is secretive about her affection for Bojack, secretive about Henrietta and secretive about her own family life, never actually recounting any of these tales to Bojack until she gets dementia. Scorpio moons are often praised for their keen sense of ambition, and as we follow Bojack through his later years we often forget that he was a highly ambitious man, writing to secretariat, doing comedy clubs, constantly trying to find jobs. As for the negative aspects, these moon signs can be moody, vengeful and judgmental. Throughout Bojack’s character arc we see him desperately try to expel these traits in himself, failing miserably thus causing a drug/alcohol relapse. This is because these traits are innate to him, through his fixed moon sign. Another thing to mention is that the Scorpio moon is ruled by Mars, the planet of aggression, this helps us to understand why Bojack is so overly agitated of his own emotions and even sometimes the emotional needs of other people, such as Gina. Something else which is quintessentially Scorpio moon is that they are secretive about their feelings, and whilst this is partly true for Bojack we watch within the first two seasons how he uses his negative emotions to create a best selling book, this is because of the moon in the 10th house. The 10th house’s main focal point is career and it is because of this that Bojack has a harsh aspect within his chart - the innate desire to keep his emotions unspoken and the desire to be successful and use his emotions to advance his career. And from this we see that Bojacks desire for recognition (probably stemming from the lack of nurturing as a child) out-weighs his Scorpio influence, this leads me to believe that the moon in his chart has some positive aspect relating to his midheaven, Chiron or north node. 

Princess Carolyn - Capricorn Moon in the 2nd house: I honestly believe Princess Carolyn fulfils every trait of the Capricorn moon, she is essentially the archetype of an ‘emotionless, hardworking’ woman who secretly has a lot of emotions she keeps secret. Practical, sensible, rational and ambitious are all traits of the Capricorn moon that align perfectly to her approach to life. The most Capricorn moon emotion she exhibited was when she looked into the mirror and said ‘serves you right for having feelings’, when I watched this, as a Capricorn moon, I instantly thought that she must have a Saturn ruled moon as she way she represses emotions and sees them as weakness is so quintessentially Saturn. A positive trait of this moon sign is that they can have a strong sense of worth and because of this can set clear boundaries with others - this is something she masters as the show progresses and it was truly great to watch. However, a boundary she always fuses is her emotional attachment to work. The Capricorn moon gets a lot of self satisfaction out of their achievements so it is no surprised Princess Carolyn struggles to create a healthy distinction between these two important life aspects. The episode, ‘Ruthie’ was a perfect example of the Capricorn moon in its fall - with her looking at the prospect of a child as more of a project than a really fun, exiting moment, this highlighting her inability to separate the work from the home life. Much like the Scorpio moon, this moon placements often has a tough time with the mother figure in their life. This is true within Carolyn's life. The Capricorn moon often has a mother who is either too strict, too domineering, too harsh. Or a mother who is too neglectful - particularly emotionally. The interesting thing about Carolyn’s mother is that she is both, she was constantly emotionally unavailable towards her daughter and often neglected all of her children's needs, forcing Carolyn to have to look after her siblings. On the other hand, when Carolyn falls pregnant at 18 her mother switches to the overly harsh parenting approach, conducting Carolyn's life to stay at home and be a mother. This relationship with the mother links closely to the moon being in the second house. The second house is ruled by Taurus and therefore equates to wealth, however when the moon is in the second it can represent a negative attachment to money and material possessions. We see through the fact she grew up in a ‘poor’ household and through her attachment to her necklace which she believes was really expensive, which, of course turned out to be really insignificant and cheap. However, the energy between the Capricorn moon in the second house gives one a fantastic work ethic towards making money - something which is obvious through Carolyn's personality. Having a Capricorn moon makes sense in her relation to Bojack’s Scorpio moon, she sympathizes with his rough childhood whilst also being able to maintain a strong outward show of being the ‘good agent’.

Todd Chavez - Moon in cancer, 11th House: Because the moon is in its ruling planet in Cancer we see that those with this placement are highly sentimental and open to empathy. This is reflected in his character as he repeatedly empathizes wit the plights of the character around him, always trying to maneuver himself into helping others. This deeply sensitive placement has the negative trait associated with all cancer placements and that is that it is passive aggressive. So whilst Todd is not a massive aggressive character we see the moments of confrontation surrounding him to be subdued and therefore passive aggressive. This placement craves emotional; support and intimacy from the Moher, intimacy that they may not be allowed - we can see this reflected in his kidney dilemma towards the end of the series. As for the moon being in the 11th House, this house can often represent a lack of understanding and a feeling of otherness. Despite Todd's positive moon sign, no one really understands how he feels, ever. His dad doesn't understand his lack of ambitious, Bojack not understanding his need for comfort and all characters not really understanding his asexuality. This placement bodes well between him and Bojack as they both have water moons allowing them to have an unspoken bond, emotionally with one another. Todd never pushing Bojack's Scorpio moon to indulge in emotional conversations. This moon also acts nicely with Carolyn’s earth moon, explaining why Todd took on the role of Ruthies babysitter. 

Ralph Stilton - Moon in Virgo, 5th house: A common trait of any Virgo placement but especially the moon is nervousness. This is definitely apparent in Ralph’s character. The Virgo moon is also known to be critical, both to themselves and to the outside world. Ralphs middle class lifestyle granted him the ability to judge and we can also infer that, through his timid nature, he is self-critical. The Virgo moon’s relationship with the mother can be characterized as fairly unpleasant. With many of these mothers being critical of their children and desiring their children to be perfect. This is definitely shown in Ralphs family who dislike Princess Carolyn from the beginning, his mother is overly critical of his partners here. The moon is comfortable in the 5th house and because of this, this placement gives a person who cares about others feelings and has others interests at heart - this helps to evaluate why he is such a ‘pushover’ to Carolyn's needs. In terms of compatibility, the reason in which he and Carolyn worked well together is down to the fact they are both earth moons and therefore have a lot of the same goals, expressions of emotions and similar experiences. 

Sarah Lynn - Moon in Taurus, 1st House: The moon  in Taurus can be described as the most indulgent Taurus placement die to the vulnerability of the moon, this is actually a really good placement for emotions, making the subject process emotions quite well and be, generally quite empathetic. This is shown in Sarah Lynn’s dying speech to Bojack, where she is openly emotionally and has a magnificent ability in articulating the raw emotions and experiences of her life. She also caters to the emotional needs of others, an example being where she offered to get really high with Bojack when he came to her upset. However, this coping mechanism is de not great and we can relate this to the indulgence of the Taurus moon. This moon loves the finer things - seen through her extravagant house but this moon also loves to over indulge - seen in her addictions. This moon craves emotional security and security in general, maybe explaining her attachment to toxic figures in life. The Taurus moon’s mother may be seen as materialistic by the child. This is seen in Sarah's mum who forced her child into acting too young just so she could be rich. This moon can be argued to be placed in the fist house for multiple reasons. People with significant first house placements can be seen to be idealistic and youthful, this corresponds to the fact that even as she approaches middle age she remains very childlike. The first house also responds to appearances and approaches to life, something which is integral to Sarah Lynn's character and also to her emotional satisfaction, with, in the end, her realizing that it all means very little. In terms of compatibility, her Taurus moon compliments Bojack's Scorpio as both fixed signs are on an axis to one another, explaining their draw to each other, whether that be platonically or romantic.

Diane - Moon in Gemini, 12th House - Being ruled by mercury, Gemini moons are often very mercurial in nature, this definitely applies to Diane who ultimately makes this nature the basis of her entire career, from working at Buzzfeed to writing a book. Gemini Moons have a proclivity to other think every action they do, often thinking that they are making the wrong option. This is such a fatal flaw of Diane's character, from romantic relationships to Jobs she is always shrouded by worry and thinking that how she acts will be perceived in ways she does not want. This is especially poignant in her speech in one of the last episodes of the final scenes surrounding trauma and how it influences her writing. Gemini moons, as a byproduct of the planet mercury, have a natural proclivity to judge others, this cynical nature is definitely a key aspect of Diane's personality, being heightened when she argues with other characters, such as Bojack who, after his Oscar, she judges vehemently. The Gemini moon tends to have a lighthearted relationship with the mother, someone they perceive to be smart and caring, this of course does not transmute with Diane's family and for t his reason I believe that Diane’s moon is square the sun - giving a general variety of tension to any relationship - also signifying a bad familial bond. The 12th house, amongst other things can be seen as the self-enemy. The aspect of yourself that you seem to ruin. And it does seem that Diane's emotional outbursts repeatedly ruin or altercate different situations and relationships she is in. Specifically in the character arc of her trying to write a book. She acts as her own worst enemy, repeatedly self-sabotaging by other thinking about her own ability to even write a book. In terms of Moon signs we see Diane having a massive lack of compatibility with all the aforementioned characters, this just pertain to how it seemed she felt throughout the show, constantly misunderstood by the people around her. 

[uraplutass]

2 flamin’

2 hawt 🌶

Astro HOT TAKES 🔥part 2 🔥

🔥 Real life Aries’s are not chaotic fun balls hopping from one rooftop to the next clad head to toe in leather. Aries describes an energy of pursuing things without hesitation, and to see what areas of life they will pursue, you’ll have to check the house that it falls in. (This goes for all the sign caricatures — Capricorn’s with a fifth house stellium will direct their drive into pursuing fun)

🔥 house cusps don’t exist in a goddamn vacuum. Unless you have intercepted houses, you’re first correlated to EVERY OTHER HOUSE. So if I have to read one more post about how my Virgo rising means I prefer lasering people with my beady eyes of pure criticism to actually having a convo, but my gemini mc means my chat game is so fierce I could walk out the library with four new bffls, I might just yeet my leo out of its hidden life in the twelfth house and have a whole dramatic rage storm.

🔥 ascendents do not reflect how you take things emotionally. ascendents do not reflect the first impressions you leave on people. Ascendents are not some mysterious mask that somehow got super glued to your face. Ascendents decide a defining planet and theme that sticks to your life, as well as an innate set of abilities that you have.

🔥 Venus signs, lol, are NOT how you flirt. That’s going to be your mars and mercury working together, as mars is how you pursue things (directly, indirectly, etc), and mercury as that’s how you communicate.

🔥 hold on cause we bout to get real controversial. Imma argue that everyone yelling about geminis being total cheaters are wrong… sort of. I think the real issue is salty Venus/mars aspects, and then if we wanna call out the signs, I’m looking at gemini VENUS and the mutable Mars’s, minus virg and adding LEO.

🔥 ik it’s disappointing bc we all tryna read these posts that are like “the signs in love” and chomp on ice cream and fantasize about being in love, but for most things, you can’t look at one sign. Every person is an exciting lil smorgasbord of planets, signs, houses, and influences, with a funky chart shapes and aspects coming in to wreck it Ralph to our lil buzzfeed style posts. for something as complicated as love, and for someone as unique as every single one of you, I would need to look at the very least your moon, Venus and Mars. Now, this is not going to stop from looking at your mercury and tryna hypothesize your specific snark style, but it will make me hesitate to go that deep stuff without at least a few disclaimers

🔥 eighth house placements do NOT determine how you’re going to die, so you can sleep peacefully, Uranus in the eighth, you’re not about to go out getting struck by lightning whilst partaking in some cocaine-fueled yodeling

[cecilspeaks]

157 - The Promise of Time

If it walks like a duck, and sings like a duck, And excretes slime like a duck, Then it’s a d- uh, you know? I don’t think that’s a duck. Welcome to Night Vale.

The future is here, listeners. The future is now. Dying has become a bad joke, and we wonder how we ever put up with it.t The Quality Cryogenics Corporation, run by one Casper Rhodes, is offering a simple solution. They will remove your brain upon death, freeze it, and then revive you hundreds of years from now, when the technology exists to live eternally. The town was recently traumatized by time working correctly and us all having to deal with aging, so this solution is exactly what we are looking for. And it only costs 10,000 in cash, no refunds. I am currently getting together the funds to purchase this service for both myself and my husband Carlos, because I believe that the two of us can live together forever. No more is there this awful time limit ticking down from the moment of our meeting until the moment of our parting. Now our brains will sit snugly next to each other, until we are weakened anew to a bright future.

Carlos says he is a little unsure about this, because he thinks that death is one of the most scientific processes of all. But he’ll come around. We’ll just talk about it, and he’ll see it my way. After all, we have the rest of our lives. And our lives – will never end.

Here’s the news. Now that we all know we’re going to get to live there, all any of us can talk about is the future. What is it going to be like? Will there be trees? Will we still have that insufferable moon? These are the questions we are all having to consider now that we will live forever. And one person is claiming to have those answers. A professional futurist and digital prophet named NZ has released a lengthy report outlining what the future is like. Apparently, skyscrapers will be twice as all, but also twice as thin. Each floor will only hold about one medium room or three very small rooms. But also, skyscrapers will have thousands of floors. The biggest revelation in NZ’s report is that in the future, menial labor will be done by robots! Robots will wash our cars, clean our toilets, and cook our food, leaving us all the time in the world to quietly boil in existential dread. According to NZ, these robots first enter the market in about a hundred years, and then really catch on until everyone has three or four at their disposal. And also everyone is so, so bored.

Man, the future sounds great. I can’t wait to get there! This has been the news.

Let’s have a look at today’s horoscopes. Leo. This is a fantastic month for new business plans, travels, meeting new people, and breaking out of the windowless prison cell you woke up in this morning. Good luck on all those exciting ventures!

Virgo. I hope you are not too attached to your left hand. Either way, you won’t be soon.

Libra. You will walk out from your house. The sun will look strange to you, even though you think it perhaps always looked like that. It will look like it always has, and it will look so strange. As you walk down the street, you will see a path you’ve never noticed before, leading away from the familiar into a dark and twisted wood. You will follow this path, the warm dirt softly crunching under your feet. At the end of the path, you will come to a small and cozy home. In the window will be a boy, and he will give you a sign. A hand to the side means it is safe to go on, a hand by the air means the burrowers are hungry tonight. A covered mouth means the time is nigh. You may proceed accordingly. Even the stars do not know what happens next.

Scorpio. You’re a great brother-in-law, husband, father and friend. And if it’s up to me - and let’s be honest, it is – the stars will never say another mean thing about you again.

Sagittarius. You are really walking on thin ice here, buddy! No really buddy, you are walking on thin ice, buddy look down, the ice is about to crack and the waters below are so cold and clear. You have never seen anything so beautiful.

Capricorn. You have spent your life searching for your soul mate. Finally, having given up on love, you have volunteered to board a starship destined to never return to our world. You will live out decades on that vast arc, developing close but platonic relationships with the few fellow humans that are with you. Finally, in your 83rd year, you will land on a planet that’s surface will appear to be made entirely of silver. You will step out onto that foreign terrain, and waiting for you will be an alien being made entirely of vapor, a wisp of a creature whose droplets will curl around you, and you will smile and realize that you have finally found your soul mate.

Aquarius. Your lucky number is five, which is also how many days you have left. That’s an auspicious coincidence!

Pisces. Everyone knows your terrible secret, and they think it’s really boring.

Aries. This just says “spiders” in increasingly large fonts for about seven pages. Aww, that’s cute!

Taurus. Turn your eyes to the heavens. Honestly, it’s better not to see what’s approaching from below.

Gemini. There will come a day in which you will have to go to the ocean. Who knows when that day will come. You might be hundreds of miles away form the ocean, you might be in an airplane or working on a farm in Ottawa. But there will come a day in which you will have to go to the ocean, and so you will travel in whatever attire you were wearing when you were called, barefoot and groggy, walking day and night until you see the glitter of water, until you hear the hush of the waves. And then you will walk into the ocean until only your head is above the surface, and you will laugh and laugh and laugh. And the ocean will laugh with you. But today is not that day. Who knows when it will come?

And lastly, Cancer. Uh huh. OK. Yeah. Everything is basically fine with you, yeah. You’re good. Nothingggggg tooo report.

This has been horoscopes.

Demand has become so high for the services of the Quality Cryogenics Corporation that Casper Rhodes announced that he has run out of space for brains. “Gotta stuff these head blobs somewhere,” he said, “but where to toss ‘em?” City Council agreed that this is an important problem, and immediately requisitioned large swaths for Night Vale real estate to serve as eventual brain storage locations. There are rumors that this move was made in exchange for free use of cryogenic services by the City Council. But the council vehemently denied the allegation and said to prove their innocence, they would arrest anyone who tried to say that they were guilty. Initially, the public library was one of the buildings intended to be converted to brain storage. But a single librarian scuttled out from the front door and stood eye to eyes with the City Council, until the City Council whimpered and backed down. At which point the librarian silently retreated, their deadly point made, their library safe. This is quite a change from when the only customer of Casper Rhodes was Charlie Bear, weekday shift manager at the Ralphs. Now there are only a few people left in town who haven’t signed up. I am a little ashamed to say that Carlos and I are one of those few, it’s y-, eh, taking me longer than I thought to scrape together the money and Carlos still wants to talk about it more but don’t worry, we will definitely join you all in the future. I will see you there!

Speaking of which, local futurist and digital prophet NZ is giving a seminar on the future. But attendance is expected to be low. Frankly, people find NZ’s predictions a little silly. After all, what does this NZ know about the future that we don’t? All any of us know about the future is that some day we will end up there, and by the time we get there, it won’t be the future. In any case, we expected more exciting predictions. Frequent space travel, miracle cures to the disease, and contact with more alien species than the three we know about in our primitive time. But NZ just won’t shut up about robots, and how much of the future is defined by robots serving us hand and foot. Only three people showed up to NZ’s seminar, one of whom was your faithful reporter, and one especially upset attendee even threw popcorn and led a chant of “Booriing!” during the part about the robots. And I’m not sorry I did it, either. It was very boring.

The family of missing person Frank Chen has filed a lawsuit against the city, declaring criminal negligence in allowing a five-headed dragon to claim the identity of their one-headed human family member, merely because the dragon carried about Frank’s ID. “You are all monsters,” said Frank’s sister Lauren. “Monsters! Monsters! Monsters!” She said this through a bullhorn, as she drove her convertible up and down the city streets. “But how could we have known?” the City Council fumed. “What, are we supposed to look into every suspicious disappearance in Night Vale? We only have 18 hands, we are doing the best we can.” The lawsuit will start with a document review and depositions. Currently, they are seeking all records on the suspected killer of Frank Chen, one Hiram McDaniels, who has not been seen in town for a couple years now. They also want to interview friends of Hiram, including a radio host who wouldn’t describe himself as a friend, more a dedicated observer.

And now a look at the stock market. [squeals] Wheee, ahahahaha! Ahahaha ooh, oo-hohoh, whaaaaaaaaa, hahah, wow!! This has been a look at the stock market.

Now let’s go over to – hello? Oh sorry, wha-what are you doing here? Listeners, the futurist NZ has entered the studio. They are waving at me frantically and holding up signs, um let me just put on my reading glasses. Embarrassing, but I suppose we all eventually reach that age. I never thought I would, but now that time is working correctly and I have aged – yes. Yes, no I see you, pointing at the sign, screaming NZ just give me a moment now where did I put those glasses? It’s in my pocket, oh [chuckles]. Now there’s some sort of metal man next to NZ. Oh, yes you have a sign, OK alright, alright, here’s my glasses! [clears throat] Uh, NZ’s sign reads “I am not a futurist, I am from the future. A time traveler sent back to warn you all.” And they’re still pointing at the metal man. Ah, this is one of those robots that NZ is always going on about! NZ is saying that everything they told us about the robots was true, and they brought one just to prove it, well hi robot! Oh, oh the robot has something to say? Oh, wait, it’s saying “I’m hardly a bear.” Well no, [chuckles] I’d say you’re not. You’re more of  a robot. Oh no, I misheard, they’re saying “Time carved a pear.” What? NZ, I think your robot is malfunctioning. Wait, not it’s saying… it’s saying, “I’m Charlie Bear.” Charlie Bear? Well he’s the weekday shift manager at the Ralphs, this makes no sense. The robot is saying again: “I’m Charlie Bear.” And then it is saying: “Help me.” It is saying “help me” over and over in a hollow digital moan.

Listeners, uh.. Let’s check in on the weather.

[“Good Intentions, Bad Advice” by Nicky Flowers https://nickyflowers.bandcamp.com]

The robot told us everything. Once the robot was Charlie Bear, weekday shift manger at the Ralphs, and then a man named Casper Rhodes came to town. Casper offered the idea of living forever, freezing Charlie’s brain after death so that he could wake up in the future once mortality was a bad dream. Once sickness was a memory. So Charlie signed up. He took out his life savings plus a couple loans and paid the 10,000 dollars. And Charlie became the first customer of the Quality Cryogenics Corporation. And Charlie was so happy. He is so happy somewhere in town, even while this robot tells us its story. Charlie is unaware, and he is happy. Because Charlie believes he has defeated death. And Charlie will continue to believe this for another 15 years until the unfortunate whistle pig incident. And after that, his brain will be removed from his mangled corpse and will remain frozen for centuries in the grain silo outside of town. And then one day, Charlie will awaken. It will be the future, as promised, and as promised he will not be dead, but all will not be well. He will have awoken as a brain in a metal body chained to that body’s programming. It will be explained to him that he was brought to the future by the Quality Cyborg Corporation, in order to take care of any errands or busywork needed while the humans of that future relax and watch him toil. You see, when we deny death and toss ourselves into the future, we do so with the strange delusion that the future feels it owes us life. That in the world of the future, they would want nothing more than to devote time and money into resurrecting each of us into eternal wellness. But the future does not feel any obligation to us at all. The past means only one thing to the future, the past is a resource. Every brain saved by Casper Rhodes is a resource.

It is a trick. We are being used. We must put a stop to this, we were all wrong trying to fight death this way, to put our trust in the future is though it would be anything but some other person’s present. Carlos was right, I was wrong! Who is this Casper Rhodes, and why is he doing this?

Oh, Casper’s calling to the station. He must be calling to confess or otherwise explain his crimes. Casper, is that you? What have you done? What have you done? Casper: Hi there, Cecil. Was listening to your show and really disappointed to hear what you were saying about me, buddy. But as the Smiling God says: when your enemies try to bring you down, just smile wider and wider until your smile eclipses the sun and then all other life in the universe. Believe in a Smiling God, buddy. Believe in a Smiling God.

Today’s proverb: As Dolly Parton said: tumble out of bed, and I stumble to the kitchen. Have to fight an evil magician, yawn and stretch and fight him for my life. Wise words.

[babyluvuris]

was tagged by @sagewife like okay we get it ur obsessed w me 🙄 whore

name: tuesday

nickname: tues and 2s! oh and i got called tewey once but i loved it so much that im putting it here... call me daisy and i will strike you down  

zodiac sign: virgo

height: 5’9

what time is it?: 12:26 AM

favorite musicians: MIKA and the mountain goats are my big two!!

favorite sports team: justins mcelroys fantasy football team “touch downton abbey”

other blogs: my art blog @2sdaynight! i have a few others but i rarely use them...

do i get asks?: not very often at all but when i do its either very very nice and lovely or like “you arent valid coward” which is the best thing ive ever been sent

how many blogs do i follow?: 314!

any tumblr crushes?: @sagewife my wife my favorite whore my best friend my soulmate... madi if ur reading this tho its a joke :/ i dont even know you

lucky number:  repetitive 4s! and ofc 2s but like its my name so. obvs. 

what i’m wearing rn: my nageki sweatshirt n pj shorts becus im sexy 

drink of choice: gatorade but only becus i have a pain disorder

dream car: my family actually just got a new car thats just an 08 somethin somethin van but i love it a lot becus our old van was. A MESS literally only 1 out 4 doors could actually open so im just super super happy w what we have now! 

dream vacation: I very rarely travel out of state so theres a lot of places I would love 2 go! its very hard to pick just one!! hmm... I do want to see the ocean very badly... feel the sun and water on my skin... i picture it soft... i ache...

favorite food: yall enjoy food? lol could not be me

instruments: i dont know how to play very much at all but i own a very lovely acoustic guitar that makes me very happy to plunk around w and learn more about! 

celebrity crushes: ive lit rally sat here thinking for like 5 minutes and i cant come up w a single celebrity i give enough of a fuck abt 2 put here.... idk. i would peg jason ralph FOR SURE but i say that a lot abt long haired men who play bipolar characters so :/ 

random fact: i know the “Let him RUN” paragraph by heart and often catch myself repeating it under my breath while drawing eddie..... eddie runs fast. he runs quite fast when you’re not there. runs quite fast when theres no one around to remind him of how delicate he is. and he knows even know, at the age of 9, that the biggest favor in the world he could do for himself would be to run in any direction youre not going in, let him GO, Mrs Kaspbrak, LET HIM RUN.

and im not going to actually tag ppl becus it stresses me out BUT if we are mutuals consider this me tagging you... especially if we talk ever like yall are the best i would always love 2 know more about you 🥺💕💝💖💌

[linked-hearts]

Q&A with Purin

Starting off our eleven-day Linked♡Hearts interview series, we have a get-to-know-you conversation with Purin, the baby princess (wait, no, PURINcess!) of the group.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Introduce yourself! Who are you and where are you from?

Hello! My stage name is Purin, I'm 18 and I'm from Nova Scotia!

When and how did you discover idols? How long have you been a fan, and why?

I've known about idols since 2012 after hearing AKB48's Sugar Rush on the Wreck-it Ralph soundtrack and Momoiro Clover Z's Mite Mite Kocchichi in Pokemon Best Wishes, but it was around 2015 that I really decided to get into them after seeing Angerme cover Mahoutsukai Sally (cus they appealed to my love of old magical girl shows).

What is your favorite group? Your oshimen? Why?

Recently my favorite group is Beyooooonds, but I think that as a whole my heart belongs to Morning Musume, since they were the first group I got really curious about digging into the history of, and I still follow them the most. My kamioshi is Michishige Sayumi for a plethora of reasons, but mainly because she inspires me to be confident in myself!

What made you want to be a net idol?

Part of me getting into idols in itself was my desire to BE one! I would watch clips and episodes of AKBingo and Hello Morning on YouTube and fantasize about how much I wanted to be in a girl group. Obviously being a net idol is the next best (and more accessible) thing! Though it might be better since I don't have to follow any contracts lol.

What are your goals in Linked♡Hearts?

It probably sounds cheesy, but I really want to make people happy the way idols make me happy! As long as we get even a few fans, the true goal I have in the group will be met <3

What about Linked♡Hearts are you excited to try?

The thing I'm most excited to try is covering all sorts of songs! I've recently been trying to step out of my comfort zone, and I'm excited to try and do solos and subunit songs!

Do you believe in astrology? Why/why not?

I know it isn't for everyone, but I think astrology is real for me. The only proof I needed was my chart reading me to filth. I'm also a virgo sun AND virgo moon, so I'm definitely that bitch.

What is your favorite local food your region is known for?

My favorite local food my region is known for is garlic fingers!!! I couldn't live without em. Other Atlantic Canada treasures include donairs and moon mist ice cream!

What’s your favorite video game series?

I love basically every Nintendo series, but Pokemon holds a special spot in my heart. I even chose my stage name after the japanese name of my favorite Pokemon, Jigglypuff!

Who’s your favorite fictional character?

Choosing a favorite fictional character is hard, but I think possibly the most influential character for me is probably Nico Yazawa from Love Live! She may just seem like the Nico Nico Nii girl, but she's surprisingly deep, I swear. Plus I owe a lot to the series (but mostly her) for getting me into idols.

What are some of your favorite YouTube channels?

I watch a lot of video essays (often about topics I don't even care about) and lots of other assorted content, but I think in the end the gaming YouTubers I've watched for years are still my favorites. I specifically really like Chuggaaconroy and Vinny Vinesauce, they make for great entertainment and background noise while I'm drawing.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Follow Purin on Twitter (@purin_linked) for more access into her world! 

[elainespaulding]

heeey, i’m nie and i’m in est. i’m wicked pumped to be here and can’t wait to start plotting and getting to know everyone and their muses. elaine’s high maintenance but i can’t help but love her regardless as one might their precocious child who refuses to hug them. feel free to message me to plot or establish a connection whenever, but you can also give this a like and i’ll eventually mosey my way into your dm’s!

☁☼☁( milena tscharntke. cisfemale. 21 ). welcome back to your summer paradise, ELAINE SPAULDING we were wondering when you’d finally show up! the town’s really missed how EFFICIENT you are, even if you can be a bit CONTROLLING at times. we hear back home they call you the PERFECTIONIST PRUDE, makes sense considering you remind everyone of CAREFULLY MANICURED NAILS DIGGING INTO THE PALM OF YOUR HAND, TIGHTLY PURSED LIPS, PLEATED SKIRTS THAT SHOW A LITTLE TOO MUCH LEG, AND A CABINET OF PILLS [nie/25/est/she/her] ☁☼☁

STATS

Full Name: Elaine Beatrice Spaulding

Hometown: New Canaan, CT

Birthday: September 19, 1997

Religious: A practicing Protestant, but not overtly religious

Drugs/alcohol/smoke (y/n): no, yes, helllll no

Languages spoken: English, German, and a little French

Western astrological sign: Virgo

Other traits: Meticulous, strong-willed, judgmental, astute, high-strung, sophisticated, and conscientious

BACKGROUND AND PERSONALITY

TW: Overdose

Elaine’s family absolutely reeks of Old Money(TM) from both sides. Rupert Spaulding’s—her father—family’s wealth can be tied back to the railroads and westward expansion before eventually delving into various investments and financial services. Her father is the acting CEO of an investment firm in New York City that her great-grandfather founded and Rupert keeps another apartment there to live at during the work week because sometimes to make a marriage work you gotta put an hour of travel time between the two of you. *cheerleader chant voice* He’s distant, he’s cold, he won’t hug you after you’re five years old. Her mother, Anna Maria Spaulding (née von Adlersfeld-Ballestrem) is from London but can trace her lineage back to the obsolete aristocracy of Germany. Anna Maria is a socialite, philanthropist, and all-around nitpicker with a thousand and one life regrets.

Elaine has three older brothers—Tristan, Ralph, and Hugo—with the youngest of the bunch being five years older than her. Elaine was something of a “miracle baby” to her parents. All her life, Anna Maria wanted a little daughter but after three rough pregnancies, she wound up with all sons, so when their little accident happened well after they decided to have no more children, she was absolutely thrilled to find out it was a girl. Elaine was pampered and given everything a little debutante-to-be ought to have, but that lavishness came with a price. Elaine was the Miracle Baby, the daughter her parents longed for, and the last thing she wanted to do was mess up the image they had for her. She had to be perfect.

So Elaine is a perfectionist through and through. From her carefully maintained appearance to her academic career, she refuses to falter. It became an obsession and a compulsion. By the time she was thirteen, it became her entire life. It ruled her every day. She scrubbed her hands raw and barely slept, but at least no hair on her head was ever out of place. By her freshman year of high school she was on medication to treat her anxiety and by her sophomore year she was on mood stabilizers, having started to experience sudden, explosive tantrums born from her Daily Repressions, and during the summer before her freshman year of college she took too many. It wasn’t really on purpose, but it wasn’t entirely by accident though. The Spauldings very discreetly and quietly admitted her into an outpatient program, then shipped her off to Yale in the fall like nothing had ever happened.

Okay, I’ve been rambling on these bullet points so I’m going to make the next few short, I promise!!!

Elaine is studying History of Art at Yale, because she’s posh and pretentious lmao. She absolutely loves it. She wants so badly to make a career out of it. She's also taken piano lessons since she was five. Don’t ask her anything pertaining to math and science, pls.

It’s also very important to note that Elaine really, really hates physical touch. It is something that has been destructive to any burgeoning romantic relationships and also something that affects the way she generally interacts with people. She doesn’t really talk about it, so anyone might think she’s standoffish and prudish. Any conclusions you can come to about her sexual history based off of that are......correct!

Aaaaand come play with her. :o) I know she sounds like a stick in the mud, but she’s also a deeply loyal person who once feels semi-comfortable (or at least as comfortable as she can get because Tense) with a person, can be pretty quick-witted and inquisitive. 

LINKS

connections (under construction af)

pinterest

[loonaurkordei]

Zodiac Signs as My Favourite Lyrics

Aries: “It’ll take more than that to get to me, more than that to get your way.” (More Than That - Lauren Jauregui)

Taurus: “I got a bad boy, I must admit. You got my heart don’t know how you did it. And I don’t care who sees it babe, I don’t wanna hide the way I feel when you’re next to me.” (The Way - Ariana Grande)

Gemini: “To say that we’re in love is dangerous, but girl, I’m so glad we’re acquainted. We’re acquainted.” (Acquainted - The Weeknd)

Cancer: “Well I guess I’m trying to be non-chalant about it, and I’m going to extremes to prove I’m fine without you. But in reality I’m slowly losing my mind, underneath the guise of a smile gradually I’m dying inside.” (Breakdown - Mariah Carey) 

Leo: “Cause she was the girl that I used to be. A girl with no responsibility. Became the armour that I hid behind. You like what you see?” (Alterlife - Rina Sawayama)

Virgo: “I’m swimming in everything you said, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout jumpin’ in it. ‘Stead I caught you skinny dippin’ deep inside my head.” (Floating - Alina Baraz)

Libra: “In your car the radio up. In your car the radio up. We keep tryna talk about us. I’m someone you may be my love. I’ll be your quiet, afternoon crush. Be your violent, overnight rush. Make you crazy over my touch.” (Supercut - Lorde)

Scorpio: “Must be confused about me. Must be confused at me. No room for fools around me.” (Lonely Night - Fifth Harmony)

Sagittarius: “Never be lonely if you got you. Might seem scary but you’re so good. You don’t need praise to lift you up higher. You know how to light your own fire.” (Living for Yourself - Ralph)

Capricorn: I can’t stop I can’t start without you. You’ve been killing me, taking all my attention. I don’t, I don’t need another song about you, so this is the last one, this is the last one, this is the last one.” (Last One - the aces)

Aquarius: “Boy problems, who’s got ‘em? I’ve got ‘em too. Boy trouble, we’ve got double, don’t know what to do. Think I broke up with my boyfriend today, and I don’t really care. I’ve got worse problems.” (Boy Problems - Carly Rae Jepsen)

Pisces: “Didn’t wanna go and catch another feelin’, but it hit me up like it was lighting, I don’t know what happened. Every night turn into morning, can’t get you off my mind, get you off my mind, yeah.” (All the Time - Kim Petras)

[satannedtrash]

twenty-one tag

tagged by: @junglebooks-thighs

tagging: @softforseo @cherrycaprisun2015 @flipturd @donghyuwus @princefullsun @sichengforthewinwin @our-serendipity-bangtan or all of my followers because i really don’t know anyone else enough to tag 21, or just anyone who wants to do it ;u;

rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better!

name: kim

nickname: kimmy (only by my family - i really hate it when someone other than them call me this), kimchi, kim dim sim, satanned

gender: imma gurl

zodiac: virgo

height: i think 155cm?? i think it’s 5′1?? 

time: 2:32 pm

favourite band/soloist: neo crack technology/nct, tho i’m getting into seventeen and day6

song stuck in my head: how can i say by day6 (their songs are bops)

last movie i saw: wreck it ralph to ignore the fact that i can’t watch the second movie :’(

last thing i googled: “australian school system” - for a oneshot that’s currently in the works ;)

other blogs: @satannedwritingtrash, a blog purely for my original stories

do i get asks: no :( i’d love some though!

why i chose this url: one of my best friends and i have this thing inspired by the things that we spout shamelessly and also the fact that we’re the most dirty in our group, where we’re both devils (this sounds so fucking dumb now that i’m explaining it). one day she changed her discord tag to “lucifer”, so i had the brilliant idea of suggesting she change it to “liccifer” instead. then i had another idea of changing my tag to satanned, which is a play on the words satan and tanned (i have a terrible sock tan). and since i’m too lazy, “satannedtrash” is what i chose for my url :D (this sounds so childish srehtygjuk)

following: 22

amount of sleep i get: usually 8-10 hours, but when i pull an all-nighter of reading oneshots, 2-4 hours sksksssksk

lucky number: 7!!! for multiple reasons!!! :DD 

what i’m wearing: white shirt and green shorts

dream job: i’d love to be either an illustrator, author, architect or something related to biology (i’m more of a creative person :|)

dream trip: the netherlands, norway, canada or the philippines

favourite food: i’m a sucker for italian food in general

instruments: i used to learn piano for a year, but i’m going to start violin lessons soon :))

random likes: art (i like to draw messy sketches and never finish them because i know i’ll ruin it and i avoid inking in general as much as i can), italian food, filipino food, cold but sunny weather, being with my best friends, doing dumb things with my best friends, swimming, my family, my considerably large size of an uwu younger brother, hot chocolate, staying in bed in gloomy weather, hugs, kpop, art videos, writing, reading, short hair!!!, puns and pickup lines ( @flipturd, suffer), the funny jokes my best friends make

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Ceres enters Virgo

June 28 - September 6, 2018

Many astrologers think that Ceres - technically not a Lady Asteroid but a “dwarf planet” - has a claim to the rulership of the sign Virgo. Remember that one older depiction of the sign is of a woman dandling a baby on her knee, as well as an armful of wheat. She, and the sign Virgo, seem to have more of an association with motherhood after the kid has been born. (Ms M, who has heaved out two babies, feels that Cancer is pregnancy, Leo is the actual childbirth, and Virgo is the “ever after” part.)

Although this is the Roman goddess Ceres, not the Greek Demeter, and although the Romans “stole” most of the Greek mythology for their pantheon - we still have a little information about her purely Roman attributions. She was the goddess of grain crops (remember Virgo’s armful of wheat), agriculture, fertility, and motherly relationships. The connection seems to be tangible, proven fertility - the baby in arms, the loaf of bread.

Anyway, Ceres does just great in Virgo! Let’s look at some of her “areas,” as given by Demetra George in Asteroid Goddesses:

Procreative sexuality

The various parental relationships

Child care and children’s education

The family

Nurturing and helping professions

Agriculture and growing cycles

Food and food-related services

Concern and sensitivity for animals

Labor and productivity

Adaptation and survival of the species

These are all going to receive the “Virgo” touch - efficiency and sustainability, in particular - although we mustn’t forget that Virgo is also skillful, organized, and helpful. There will be a couple of “challenges” to achieving these goals, and as I keep hectoring, “flowing” doesn’t always equal “good.” Still, you can’t watch or read the news anymore without becoming very aware of the planet’s overwhelming need for some helpful Virgo energy. Nobody expects us to assimilate all that Ceres here has to teach us, in 2.5 months. We can get a good start, though, using some of the (frankly) amazing aspects ahead.

Celebrities with Ceres in Virgo:

Ringo Starr, Isabel Hickey, Madonna, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Jodie Foster, Julia Roberts, Leonardo da Vinci, JFK, Al Pacino, Robert Pattinson, Tina Turner, Rafael Nadal, Michael Jordan, Roger Federer, George Michael, Meghan Markle, Marie Antoinette, Serena Williams, Fidel Castro, Michelangelo, Ralph Fiennes, Ella Fitzgerald, Mao Zedong, Conan O’Brien, Astrid Lindgren, Marcel Proust

Tuesday, July 3, Uranus/Taurus trine Ceres/Virgo, 2:03

The previous day, when the Moon is in Pisces, could be “the” day for feeling this energy. Perhaps we’ll have the opportunity (Moon sextile Uranus) to make a connection with someone (Moon opposite Ceres)? We can gain some innovative and practical ideas about how to maintain healthy family/tribal ties, as well as an opportunity to expand the idea of “family/tribe” beyond the immediate blood kin. After all, we all are descendants of Mitochondrial Eve! (LINK HERE)

Planets/Points affected lie between 1:03 and 3:03 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Tuesday, July 10, Saturn Rx/Capricorn trine Ceres/Virgo, 4:54

This, on the other hand, strengthens the more traditional family structure. It promotes (per Demetra George) “stability, longevity, and depth” in familial relationships. Try to think of this as manifesting via a wise old Grandma wishing to impart her wisdom to us and to teach us everything she knows.

Planets/Points affected lie between 3:54 and 5:54 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Monday, July 16, Venus/Virgo conjunct Ceres/Virgo, 7:33

Late on the 15th (US time), the Virgo Moon joins in, giving us a prim, proper, lady-like triple conjunction for a couple of hours. Venus is in her fall in Virgo, so there may be some issues with food complexes - overeating, binging/purging, or anorexia. However, the Moon and Ceres do well here - the Moon is the “esoteric ruler” of Virgo - with luck this will manifest as nothing worse than a loved one going on a health kick. If you live south of the Equator and are planning a garden, this is auspicious! (If you live north of the Equator, it’s a bit late for that - unless your plans are very long-term.)

Planets/Points affected lie between 6:33 and 8:33 of all signs.

Tuesday, July 31, Jupiter/Scorpio sextile Ceres/Virgo, 14:01

If you were waiting for the “procreative sexuality” portion of our program - we’ve arrived. Otherwise, this will of course amp up whatever Ceres/Virgo things you have going on. “Go big or go home,” says Jupiter/Scorpio. We might think about joining some group which aligns with what we want to accomplish. There’s a Pisces Moon on the 30th which (again) may bring someone into our lives.

Planets/Points affected lie between 13:01 and 15:01 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Sunday, August 5, Neptune Rx/Pisces opposite Ceres/Virgo, 15:56

We may not see our loved ones clearly, or vice versa, under this aspect. Family troubles make us prone to escapism, via one’s poison of choice. Perhaps someone wants to play the victim, but someone else won’t cooperate with that agenda. Use the Taurus Moon on the 4th to keep grounded, steady, and sensible.

Planets/points affected lie between 14:56 and 16:56 of the signs Taurus, Gemini*, Cancer, Virgo*, Scorpio, Sagittarius*, Capricorn, and Pisces*; and between 0:00 and 1:56 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Monday, August 13, Pluto Rx/Capricorn trine Ceres/Virgo, 19:17

Proserpina’s mom and hubby are getting along! Pluto is playing its very long game, Ceres is focused on the minutiae of the details, and they find ways to maximize and bless their endeavors together. Our understanding of others is much deeper. As there is a Virgo Moon this day, conjuncting Ceres, look for a mother or grandmother figure.

Planets/Points affected lie between 18:17 and 20:17 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Thursday, August 23, Vesta/Sagittarius square Ceres/Virgo, 24:04

So many ways for this square to manifest. Vesta’s idealism is sorely tried by Ceres’ practicality, in a nutshell. (Which is pretty much the entire Virgo-Sag relationship.) Expect conflicts between the demands of the job (Vesta) and of the family (Ceres). We need a better balance between career and tribe, obviously. House positions in the natal chart point out where you need to tweak. (Ms M has these two sextile in her natal chart - so this square represents a temporary chasm between them.)

Planets/Points affected lie between 23:04 and 25:04 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius* and Pisces*; and between 8:04 and 10:04 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Tuesday, September 4, Mars/Capricorn trine Ceres/Virgo, 28:59

This again emphasizes “procreative sexuality.” With both planets so very well placed (Mars is exalted in Capricorn), what can we expect? “Harmonious aspects,” according to Demetra George, “denote a productive individual whose drive and energy are channeled into caring for or defending others.” It also can denote a single parent, or a parent whose primary partnership responsibility is the tribe.

Planets/Points affected lie between 27:59 and 29:59 of the yang signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.