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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

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Stranger things is about mental health & trauma- deal with it!

I’ve seen a lot of people claim anyone who mentioned this topic immediately be gaslit and told they’re “just crazy” and “rudely projecting their own issues on to the characters.’ Like- no you don’t have to believe my Will DID/Lonnie theory ( I could be wrong). But to claim one of the show’s central themes isn’t about mental health/trauma (screams either complete lack of lit comprehension or denial cause you have your own negative biases towards such people). So let’s just go into what’s literal text-not subtext/symbolism. Just the super blatant stuff. RIGHT IN THE SHOW!

-We have El when she first appears on screen asked by Benny if her parents starved and hurt her and if that’s why she ran away. Benny then calls CPS to say El “may have been ab*sed or something.” After this Lucas says there is “seriously something wrong with her-wrong in the head. She’s probably from the NUT-HOUSE in curly county.penthurst” We also see El cannonically has PTSD-all of s1 she’ll see something benign (a cat, a coke commercial, a closet) and is triggered to see a traumatic flashback. That’s literally ptsd. There’s also hints throughout the seasons she’s developmentally behind in both language, telling time etc (neglect like El’s irl can cause an intellectual disability-analysis on El/that subject here).The real pethurst in pensylvannia (not the one in stranger things/ Curly county) closed in 1986- it was a facility for people and mostly kids with intellectual disabilities (it wasn’t technically a psych facility like the one in st)-but it was infamous for it’s abuse of these intellectually disabled patients kept there. We also have Brenner be a ab*sive psychiatrist.

- Hopper after suffering from the loss of his daughter. Is popping pills like candy, drinking and smoking constantly. He later says he used to hallucinate and forgot what was real -seeing and hearing sarah and says if he didn’t confront the pain he’d “fall down a black hole he couldn’t get out of.” NO... subtext here about what the void represents nope.

- Both mothers (Terry & Joyce) are dismissed as being mentally ill and simply grieving the loss of their kids . But both end up being right about the supernatural.

- “Terry pretends Jane is real. i mean it’s all make believe. you know the doctors all say it’s a coping mechanism.”

- While with Joyce the whole town pre s1 already questioned her mental health. Jonathan says “She used to have anxiety problems (pre s1).” And Jonathan, Hopper, and Lonnie all assume she’s hallucinating: talking to Will via lights, seeing a man without a face, saying Will’s body is fake -due to grief. Plus Lonnie mentions the fact Joyce’s aunt Darlene also used to hallucinate as a possible reason (terry’s aunt also had mental health issues mentioned in s2 by Becky). Lonnie even says everything Joyce is seeing is “all in her head.” Hopper and Jon both say she needs to sleep and accept reality and Lonnie says she needs to see a “shrink”. Hopper “i’m not saying that you’re crazy”. Joyce : “no, you are.” Joyce also says to Lonnie “Stop looking at me like that... like everyone else like i’m out of my damn mind.” Hopper also says about Joyce she’s “on the edge”. Callahan says in response , “she’s been on the edge for a while now” (referring to her mental health- even before Will’s dissappearance)”. While Lonnie says Jonathan is “feeding into her hallucinations ... you’re going to push her right over the edge.” In s2 Hopper says “ I think everyone is on edge- you, me, Will most of all. (when talking about Will’s ptsd/trauma)”

- in s1 They claim Will just “fell” over the edge of the quarry’s cliff. Later the only other queer coded character (Mike) jumps off the quarry cliff (where Will’s body was found) cause the homophobic troy forced him too jump. Troy even says earlier dead-Will is “flying with all the other fairies all happy and gay” (to Mike). And Troy says to Hopper El made Mike “fly” after jumping off the cliff. Friendship saved him from jumping off the edge metaphorically ( and he’ll prob eventually be happy and gay too).

s2/3

-Will is seeing a therapist . And we are told he has ptsd and will experience the anniversary effect, personality changes,nightmares, having episodes, etc. And things “will get worse before they get better”. Mike also asks if what Will is seeing is “real or like the doctors say all in your head?” And Will continues to see hallucinations of the mf/upsidedown that only he can see initially.

-Hopper also agrees with owens mentioning how he knew guys with ptsd . joyce : “it’s not like he’s describing a nightmare. He talks about them like they’re real.” Hopper: “Yeah, because they’re not nightmares they’re flashbacks.I think he’s right about trauma.I think everyone is on edge (bringing that s1 ref back), Me you, Will, most of all.Nothing’s gonna go back to the way that it was. But it’ll get better.In time.”

-Nancy suffers from survivor’s guilt and drunkingly says she killed Barb. Jonathan says like Nancy he has “a weight that you that carry all the time . i feel it too.” (cough depression). He also says he tries to be there for Will but says about Will “he’s not the same. maybe things can’t go back to the way they were. (mirroring Hopper’s words earlier that season)”

-Jonathan said in s1 Joyce had “anxiety issues” than Nancy says in s3 “you really are your mother’s son... you worry too much.” Then we see him look worried after the comment.

- in s2, Axel & a scientist both call El and Will “schizos” because of their powers. In s3 mrs driscoll isn’t believed about the supernatural cause she’s schizophrenic-but like Joyce/Terry was right.

- Kali saves a woman named Dottie (a british slang term for crazy) from a mental hospital and then compares herself and El to dottie. saying her non-powered gang is “Like us ...outsiders... society discarded them.” In graphitti we even see the title “obedlam” a british poem about discarding the mentally ill and leaving them homeless. El before this sees a mentally ill man screaming “we’re all dead!” Kali’s friend says to El, after this encounter they were “dead all of us” until kali “saved them here” (points to head) “and here” (points to heart). Pointing to the theme of love and friendship helping those with such issues. Similar to the cliff analogy.

-The cycle of ab*se. Max in s2 says she’s afraid of becoming like Billy (her ab*ser). We see Billy mimic his ab*ser neil and inflict pain on max. In s3 we see the roots of his behavior are linked to mimicking Neil- Neil in a flashback says about baseball “what are you scared?” “ did i raise a p*ssy for a son”. So young Billy later in a fight says to a boy “ what are you scared to fight me? fight me p*ssy. (as he beats the boy)” Deflecting his anger of his father on to someone else. In s3, We see as a kid he used to say to Neil “don’t hurt her” (his mom)-specifically after Neil backhand slaps her -but we later see possessed Billy backhand slap Max (just like neil). The resentment to his mother leaving - festered into how he views women and max negatively . And his attraction to mrs wheeler prob is linked to him subconsciously missing his mother. Max in s2 even says he can’t take it out on her mother so he does so to her instead (we even have Billy hallucinate hurting mrs wheeler).We see in s2 the cycle of abuse is there- Billy mimics Neil, and then Max mimics Billy. Billy harrasses Max and yells “SAY IT!” (mimicking Neil). Max like Billy later yells “SAY IT” and uses a bat /violence to stand up for herself against Billy- which earlier she said she was trying to combat … explaining she can be angry like Billy sometimes but she never wants to be like him (her nickname symbolizing this: aka ‘mad max’). Billy’s last dying words were an apology to Max- for becoming her neil. And we hopefully will see Max break this cycle.

- Will says his now memories (that he describes like dreams) are “growing “, “spreading “,and “killing”. While Kali says they need to face their father and (as Brenner) says El has to confront her “wound” or else it’ll “grow”, “spread” and “eventually it’ll kill her.” Kali says she used to be like El . She used to bottle her pain away and it “spread.” But she then says “I confronted my pain and I finally began to heal (from those wounds).” We also see with jonathan and nancy when describing “shared trauma” zoom in onto the scars on their hands. The wound heeled into a scar so to speak.

S2 & 3 ENDINGS

both have Hopper do a speech that delves into dealing with trauma/depression but still finding good along the way.

-s2 Hopper outside the snowball: “how are you holding up? Yeah, that feeling never goes away. It is true what they say, you know. Everyday it does get easier.”

-s3 Hopper monolouge : “ Feelings jesus. For so long, i’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place,in a cave you might say , a deep dark cave (cough s2 supernatural cave). For the first time in a long time, i started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. Life... yeah sometimes it’s painful .sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s suprising... happy.. And when life hurts you, because it will .remember the hurt . The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.”

BUT YES- St has nothing to do with mental health/trauma, we’re just “crazy” and “projecting”. It’s not like some of ya’ll act pompous when you just have a bias and get pissy at the idea of relating to characters you “other” as “crazy” or “damaged” irl or anything (so attack people for pointing it out). Or (benefit of the doubt) you are just like.... oblivious... or just a kid who doesn’t know better XD

#stranger things #el hopper #will byers #jim hopper #joyce byers #max mayfield #billy hargrove #kali prasad #mike wheeler #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler

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scullydubois · 4 years ago

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Only the Light Ch. 20

I now present to you a chapter that is filled with more angst than Chris Carter could ever dream of, and for that, I am truly sorry.

Scully and Mulder's foray into domesticity with Emily is interrupted by the past catching up to them. Faced with despair, they cling even tighter to each other.

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Scully is granted maternity leave, though it’s only for two weeks, which Missy let her know is “a piss-poor bargain.” And she knows this is true, but she also has more incentive to stay at her job than ever, so she’d like not to lose it. The fact that advocating for herself and her child would mean risking her job is a mess in itself, but one lone woman can’t be expected to take down the patriarchy, and besides, she’s already tried and failed.

As for she and Mulder, they hide their flirtation in plain sight. Mulder’s perpetually present in body or spirit, but his behavior never reveals anything more than it did before. Every morning he swings by to say hi, brings Scully coffee and a bagel with full-fat cream cheese, and checks if Emily’s picked up any new words. Personally, he’s working on “alien” and if you ask him, she’ll get it soon. She knows that it refers to her UFO stuffie, so sounding out the letters can’t be far behind, much to her mother’s dismay.

On Wednesday of the first week, he shows up at 6pm with takeout carbonara from a local Italian joint. His presence makes every Scully girl happy, but it makes one in particular the happiest, and Melissa realizes that there are definitely things her sister has failed to mention. She doesn’t question it, but watches with glee as the situation unfolds.

After that first night, Mulder keeps coming back with dinner and refuses to let either sister shoulder the cost. On Friday, he stays for a movie too and gets to participate in Emily’s nightly tucking-in ritual (a tickle on the left foot, a tickle on the right foot, and a big smooch on the forehead).

Saturday afternoon, he joins them for a stroller push through the park, earning some serious side-eye from Scully when he suggests that they stop at the playground because, according to the mama bear, “Em can only take six steps at a time, Mulder.” So instead they buy hotdogs from a vendor and eat them on a bench, Emily sandwiched between her mother, her aunt, and her...Mulder. They couldn’t ask for more.

That night, Mulder hangs around after dinner because what else is he gonna do? Go home and watch old baseball games until he falls asleep? A new leaf has been offered to him, and he’s gotta turn it.

He’s baffled when, upon announcing that it’s Emily’s bathtime, Scully goes to the kitchen and switches on the sink.

Scully raises an eyebrow at him. “What, your mother never washed you in the sink when you were a baby?”

“Not that I know of...I have a hard time envisioning myself ever fitting in a sink.”

Scully scoffs. “I forget. You were a Vineyard boy.”

Before he can come up with a smart response to that (as if there actually is one), Missy pipes up. “Oh, I bet you were the kid that took baths with your mother,” she teases. “Care to confirm or deny?”

“If I did I blocked it out of memory, thank god,” he testifies.

Having spread a towel on the counter, Scully strips Emily down and perches the girl on her hip. She sticks her hand under the faucet.

“That’s not too hot, do you think?” she asks Missy, who tests it as well.

“That should be fine.”

Mulder joins in too, and immediately regrets it. He shrinks away from the water, shaking droplets all over the room. “Jesus, Scully! Are you trying to boil her?”

“Babies lose heat quickly because of their body surface to weight ratio,” she says matter-of-factly. “They’re more susceptible to the cold.”

“I think the cold will be the least of her worries,” Mulder quips.

“If you really think it’s too hot, I’ll turn it down…” There’s a concerned crease beneath her eyes, and it makes Mulder feel bad about his joking.

“No, no, you know what you’re doing,” he assures her. “You’re her mother.”

As she lowers Em into the sink, Scully’s heart twinges. Her. A mother. How many times will she have to hear this before it stops feeling like news to her?

One week and bathtime has already become routine. Missy fills a plastic cup and pours it gently over her niece, the water cascading down Em like she is nature’s own. Scully soaps her palms, then glides over her daughter’s skin with such care that its memory may blight any future affection Em is graced with. And then another waterfall, and the gentle brush of a wash cloth against eyes and nose.

Scully squeezes a penny’s worth of baby shampoo into her hand, looks to Mulder. “Come on, get in here. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty, are you?” she says with a smirk.

He smirks back and shakes his head as she lifts his open palm and shrinks her accumulation to a dime. “Although, technically I am getting my hands cleaner…”

She boops him right on the nose with a shampooed finger. He laughs.

Missy smiles. Oh, to see destiny play out right in front of you. “Someone’s cracking dad jokes,” she points out, unable to resist. This observation is much too on-the-nose for the pair (quite literally for Mulder), who simultaneously blush but say nothing.

Mulder wipes the shampoo from his nose and plants it on Emily’s head, joining his partner in making soapy circles over the girl’s tuft of strawberry hair. Scully’s full attention is directed toward her daughter. As soon as the lather is sufficient, she dons the lifted lilt of motherhood. “Okay, time to rinse! Missy, will you do the honors?”

Missy turns the faucet, fills the cup, and lets it flow over Emily. Mulder and Scully wash their hands off in the stream.

And as Scully leans for the towel, a splash of red dirties its fresh white surface. Mulder notices it first. He points at his partner’s porcelain face. “Scully, you’re bleeding.”

Her hand shoots to her nose. Sure enough, it stains her fingers. “Shit.” She turns away, goes for a tissue. “I haven’t had nosebleeds since I was fourteen,” she tells them, as if that invalidates this one. She wipes away a glob of blood, her stomach turning. “Missy--” her voice shakes involuntarily, “--will you dry Em off?”

“Uh-huh.” She nudges Mulder. “Will you grab a new towel from the linen closet?” she whispers, not wanting to further upset her sister.

Mulder goes off without a word, and Missy squeezes out Em’s hair as best she can. “What a pretty girl!” she gushes. “All clean!”

“Yee!” Emily throws her little fists in the air, injecting joy back into the room.

“Time to put your PJs on, and get a tickle, tickle, smooch.”

Mulder scrambles back in with a new towel, skirting around Scully, who remains occupied with her own situation. He slides the soiled towel away and helps Missy swaddle Em. Mulder ruffles the little girl’s hair, and she laughs like a music box.

“Mol-dy.” She spits it out in halves, as if she’s been rehearsing.

Mulder’s eyes water with recognition. “Mulder? Mul-der? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Moldy,” the girl declares again, certain of herself.

Missy adjusts Em on her hip, smiles at Mulder. “Looks like you’re Moldy now.”

Mulder bites his lip to hide his overwhelming delight. “Yeah, I...I never thought I'd be so happy to be called moldy.”

Next thing he knows, Scully is at his shoulder with a tissue stuffed up her nostrils. “Wait, what’s going on?”

“Em called me Moldy,” he tells her, full of satisfaction.

“Oh.” It comes out relatively unimpressed, but really, she’s just distracted. “Missy, will you get a diaper on her before there’s an accident? I would but I’m still--” She gestures to her nose.

“Yeah, yeah.” Missy smiles at the baby in her arms. “PJ time, Em!” They go off toward the bedroom, a happy pair.

As soon as Em is out of sight, Mulder spirals toward his partner, panic-stricken. The glee of moments ago has evaporated.

“Are you okay?” He touches her hair, shoulders, and the familiar small of her back, unsure of where he should land.

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” Her grip on his elbows--keeping his hands firmly placed on her waistline--suggests otherwise.

“You’ve got to see a doctor,” he pleads. “This could be...”

“This could be what, Mulder?” The steel in her blue eyes is a death grip. She’s never liked being told the obvious.

“Scully…” He sighs, rubs his neck, wills her to say what they both know. When she doesn’t, he takes his hands off her and wrings them together. “The Mufon women...they said it would happen to all of them eventually.” He’s careful not to lump Scully in with their group.

“And what do they know?” she retorts. “One of them was sick. One.”

“Okay, well, don’t you think it’s better to be safe than sorry?” he reasons. “You have Emily to look out for now.”

Scully rolls her eyes. “Don’t guilt trip me. It’s a nosebleed. Those happen all the time for completely benign reasons.”

“Yeah, but they don’t happen to you. You just said--you haven’t had one since you were fourteen.”

She clenches her jaw. He’s right, and she’s playing the fool. His position is the one she would take if this were anyone other than herself. She’s gonna have to lose this fight with as much grace as possible.

“Fine. I’ll get it checked out, but they’re gonna think I’m insane for coming in because of one nosebleed.”

“That’s a nice change of pace--you being the insane one for once.”

“Well, you’re the one who wants me to go, so you’re not out of the woods.”

“Good, I’ve finally got some company!”

Scully smiles in spite of herself. “Yes, yes you do.”

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It happens very quickly, as most calamities of life can be said to. This gives it the unreal quality of a nightmare that might soon be woken up from, if there is any justice in the world.

Scully snags a doctor’s appointment for three days after the initial nosebleed. By the time she walks into the waiting room, one nosebleed has quadrupled into four, and her minor concern has snowballed into abject terror.

Margaret Scully drove into the city to watch Emily so Missy could join her sister. Scully insisted that she would go alone, but Missy wouldn’t accept this. She threatened to tell Mulder the details of the appointment if Dana didn’t let her go, and that was enough to earn her a spot in the passenger seat. Scully can’t take the thought of Mulder witnessing the worst--let alone her reaction to the worst.

And so it goes something like this: they are taken to an exam room, at which point Scully explains her situation to a nurse, including that she has recently learned she is at high risk for cancer. The nurse assures her that such a diagnosis is highly unlikely, but makes a note for the doctor. The doctor comes in with knitted eyebrows and listens to Scully describe the aftermath of her abduction experience with a heavy emphasis on the convoluted but substantial claims of the Mufon women. She asks if Scully has had any other symptoms, to which Scully replies that it’s hard to tell because she has an infant in the house and thus, a marked lack of sleep.

The doctor laughs, but it’s not a haha laugh, more of an I feel your pain. She agrees that the women’s claims are concerning, but tells her patient not to fret. They’ll take all the precautions, run any test that might assuage her worries. There’s a quip about how it’ll be on the government’s dime since it covers Scully’s insurance, and then the doctor leaves to order an MRI.

A full body MRI, which Scully has never had, and which she hoped she would never require. There’s no deeper sickness than one that cannot be pinpointed, and no greater fear than of the unknown turning into the worst case scenario.

The MRI is completed that same day. As she slides into the machine, Scully thinks of Betsy Hagopian and wonders how she’s doing. It has been many months since she stood outside an exam room and watched Betsy enter one of these. Has fate been kind to her?

For a few minutes, her world is limited to the mere inches between her face and this life-saving yet life-ruining contraption. It is noisy and sometimes bright and altogether disorientating. She is glad when it’s over.

The images return almost immediately, and maybe it would all have been okay if Scully weren’t trained in radiology herself, if she wasn’t able to recognize the glaring speck of light in her nasal cavity for what it is. But that one glance is all she needs to know that waiting by the phone isn’t an option.

“It’s a tumor, isn’t it?” she blurts as the radiologist tries to escort her and Melissa from the room. “In the nasal cavity. I have a M.D. I saw.”

“Your doctor will call with the results,” the radiologist insists, standing by the open doorway.

“No, no, you can’t do this to me,” Scully sputters. “I know what I saw, and I don’t have any time to waste.” Her eye twitches in a combination of stress and anger. “I have an infant daughter.”

The radiologist sighs, pity on top of pity. “Perhaps your doctor will talk it through with you now.”

“Yes. Please.”

And it is talked through, though there’s no need to make it complicated: nasopharyngeal carcinoma. Inoperable, and just barely in the realm of treatable. That’s the kicker, the coyote in the pasture, the cloud covering the sun. In the words of Scully’s doctor, it is auspiciously rare. And in Scully’s brain, it is the bottom she’s been expecting to drop out from under since she held her daughter in her arms.

Melissa drives home. The sisters cannot fathom how they will tell their mother. Cannot fathom ruining her blissful time with the granddaughter she’s just met. When they turn onto their street, Scully swallows hard and coughs on her own spit. “Will you do something for me?”

Missy looks over, eager to do anything she can, yet terrified by the possibility of the request.

“Will you take me to Mulder’s?” Scully mumbles. “I would just take the car but...I can’t face mom right now. I don’t want to risk it.”

Missy bites her lip. “And what am I supposed to tell mom when she asks where you are?”

“The truth,” Scully says curtly. “She doesn’t need the backstory.”

Missy drives past their building, though she’s not completely sold on her sister’s reasoning. “Don’t you think she might wonder why you aren’t coming home to your daughter?”

“I know she’ll wonder, Melissa, I know all of this,” Scully snaps because she needs to. “I don’t care.”

“Okay.” Missy’s voice is barely perceptible. I don’t care; she knows how low her sister has to be to say those words.

They complete the drive in silence, Scully biting her nails--a habit which she has never possessed, and perhaps just acquired. The car idles as Missy pulls up to the curb of Mulder’s building.

“I can pick you up when you need it,” she tells her sister as she pulls herself out of the car. “I’ll bring Em.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Scully says, closing the passenger door and edging toward the building. Missy hears a thanks float toward the car, then her sister is gone like a teenage girl embarrassed by her mother.

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They sit on Mulder’s couch, muted. Words cannot fathom the injustice of this situation, nor can they suffice as empathy. Their hands are clasped together, a throughline of strength between them. This is what they need now; the most primitive language of all.

Scully’s watery eyes brush Mulder’s face. His own eyes, more pained than usual, look into hers. Without a word, she drapes an arm around her partner’s shoulders and scoots into his lap. He is surprised but not distressed. What else is left for them, now?

She is tiny, so tiny. And she is his.

Their eyes meet once again, speaking in tongues. Scully nods, and then Mulder does too. This is it. This is it.

Permission granted at last, Scully’s lips travel to her partner’s jawline. The first time her lips have touched his body, and this is where they go. She is a constant box of wonders, a fortune he can never predict. Her lips are much like he has fantasized they would be: wondrously soft and silky, stroking him like they have always meant to be there. Yet he couldn’t have imagined the urgency with which they burrow into his skin. As if she’s making a mental map of his bone structure. He never expected that she would want him this much.

His hands find her hips and grip the cotton of her shirt between his fingers. It is enough to tear her away from his flesh. Mission accomplished. His breath travels past her ear, hitting her neck. It is shallow and warm as he breathes her name. Her real name, the one her family calls her. She breathes his own back to him, like a bird responding to a mating call.

She feels his lips on her neck, wet and aching. It feels like God. This is the most blasphemous thought she has ever had. She throws her head back, exposing the whole of her skin to him. What is holiness, if not this moment?

He showers her in tattoo kisses, and she lets him, she lets him, she lets him. This is not just what she wants, but what she needs. No one will save her now, she knows this. So she has decided not to be saved.

Her shirt ripples as he clutches it. “May I?” He is breathy, awe-struck.

“Only if I can do the same.” Always about equality, his Scully is. He lifts his arms, lets her strip him first. He is fraught with the temptation to feel insecure, inadequate, but this is not about him--this is all for her. There is no time to dwell on this anyway. Scully takes in the sight, then puts her own arms up with a hint of impatience. He pulls her shirt over her head, and goosebumps adorn her as the air hits her bare stomach.

It is unimaginable, the significance of this moment. All Mulder can do is keep going, lest the emotion hit him and he find himself blubbering all over her. His hands travel her body...it is slender and white, but so solid, so strong. Cartilage forming ligaments forming joints connecting bones. And her skin, stretching over her hips and framing it all. The masterpiece that is Dana Katherine Scully.

He fears for the day she will cave in on herself. Already, one of his hands covers her whole rib cage. Right now he can cradle her body comfortably against his own, but the day will come when a single cautious touch will crush her, and his heart along with it. He wants her as she is now forever.

Seeing that he wants to pamper her, Scully lets herself be pampered. He showers the taut length of her collar bone in kisses. The vibration resonates throughout her bone structure, and already she can feel him in places she’s only fantasized about having him. He is going to heal me, she thinks. If anyone could heal her in any way, it would be him doing this.

She shows her gratitude by kneading circles into his soft tissues, so tense from all their days chasing ghosts. The sinew relaxes beneath the pads of her fingers, and she feels like she has solved the most important X-File of all.

Mulder traces his way along her spine. He has never touched her here, nor ever even fantasized about it, and there is an erotic tension--like a needle about to drop on a record--that neither one of them could have seen coming. Inevitably, his hands converge at the hooks of her bra. She arches her back in approval. He slides the hooks away from each other, and both of them feel the release. She shimmies off the garment before he can pull it out of the way. No secrets, not anymore.

Mulder didn’t expect to cry and is aware that most women wouldn’t take that as a positive sign, but seeing her, like this, knowing what they both know, tears feel like the least he could offer up. She is...beautiful is too weak a word to describe it. He needs to invent a new word to capture the essence of his emotions, the reverence with which he views her. He is not a religious man, but he will worship her until the end of time.

He has known this, intuitively, for a while, and now he’s putting it into practice. He wants to do everything he can for her, give her everything she wants. Yet he doesn’t know how to, and this scares him. She has always slipped through his fingers, always turned on a dime just when he thought he figured her out. Tonight is no exception. How was he to know that he’d be on his couch with a half-naked Scully in his lap?

He fears the tears will offend her, so he nuzzles into her heartspace, his nose pressed against the heart that is--by the grace of that God she worships--still beating. His lips meet the plush of her left breast.

Where does he go from here? The dusty routine he’s used with other women--the few who have given themselves to him or let him hand himself over--is not worthy enough for Scully. He could never touch Scully in the ways he’s touched the women before because she is not like the women before. There is no mere giving or taking here, no detached exchange of commodities or pleasure for the sake of pleasure. This is survival. They are symbiotically keeping each other alive.

A drop of water hits Scully’s skin, slides down the curvature of her breast. She shudders. A tear. That’s what it is, she realizes. Mulder is crying. It’s a baptism of unfortunate proportions.

She cups her hand against his chin, tilts it up so his bleary eyes meet hers. She rests her forehead against his. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She kisses each eye closed, his lids fluttering beneath her lips. “It’s okay.”

His breathing steadies. He is quite certain that it is not okay, that it never will be, but he listens to her, lets himself pretend.

Hands still on his chin, she careens their lips together. His mouth on hers; a godsend. They caress each other for a moment, then Scully opens wide, and Mulder does too. They are reflecting.

If Scully could compress herself, pushing every particle of air out of her lungs and into his, she would. As a sort of thank you, for everything. For what he has done, what is doing, what he will do...She will never have to live without him. She knows this now, and it makes this easier. But he will have to live without her, and so she must make sure he gets the memories he needs to carry on. This is how grief works, she’s acquainted with it. These moments, these feelings, these bated breaths and tender touches, will be his survival mechanism for awhile. Until the day when he can throw them off and go on without her ghost. It will happen one day, and she will be glad that he made it.

She feels him pressing against her stomach, which is certainly not where she wants him. “Fox…” Her hands hover above his belt. She unzips his fly first, her hand warm against him. He is dizzy with want as her fingers curl against his belt buckle, loosening it with confidence. In a sweeping gesture, she pushes his jeans off his hips, exposing him. The thrill she feels, seeing him big and bare in front of her, is a new kind of livelihood. She’s overcome with the desire to take him in her mouth--and that has never, never been her first instinct. She ducks down, but he stops her.

“Dana, no. You.”

She doesn’t need to hear it twice. She sucks in a breath, arches her back, and slides onto him. Slowly, gasping as they go.

“Am I hurting you?”

Scully shakes her head, lips parted. It has been nothing like this before...nothing so fulfilling. She crosses her ankles, binding them completely together at last.

Unity triumphs against the self, their union abolishing the world’s insistence on the solitude of the individual. This is what it’s about, isn’t it? Being joined, not only in spirit, but in body? Knowing that whatever horrors are to come, he will feel them as she does. Her dwindling will be his too, her losses an equally empty space within him.

She is teetering on the edge of something she can never come back from. She is not afraid.

She careens her fingernails into his back as the pressure builds. If it doesn’t come to a head, she’ll die right here, she thinks.

She barely registers the cathartic noises coming out of her, though they give Mulder great delight. He thought she would be quiet, and the fact that she’s not trying to hold anything in--after holding everything in for so goddamn long--is the most moving part of the experience.

And they want this to go on forever, but they want the release. Mulder swivels his hips into her, bringing them both closer to climax. Scully curls against him.

“I’m sorry,” she cries into his ear.

“What?” He nearly pulls out of her, fearing that she’s hurt.

“No, no--” She scrambles to stay with him. “This--” she pants “--is so good.” She lowers her lips onto his as confirmation, then speaks into his open mouth. “I’m just sorry to be the one to go.”

He frames her ribcage, thumbs arching toward her belly button. “Fuck, honey...don’t say that, don’t even think that…”

They won’t linger on the choice of pet name, the tenderness with which it settles over her, nor the absolute devastation of her words. There is simply no time.

Scully hides her face in his neck as the wave breaks over both of them. There is no world anymore, only the two of them on this couch. They have forsaken the physical realm, ascending to heaven in time with their heartbeats.

Mulder understands then what his reciprocal means when she says she needs proof to believe. Now that he’s been there and felt it, he knows that heaven exists, and holy shit, what does that mean for the life he has lived and the time he has left? What did it mean for Samantha?...What will it mean for Scully?

They collapse into each other, a melted mass of skin and bone. Two becoming one, becoming two again. Mulder strokes the back of his partner’s head, presses his lips to her temple. Her chest rises against him in jagged breaths.

“You are the only proof I’ll ever need that this life is worth it,” he murmurs. “Just you.”

Scully looks up at him, tears running down her cheeks. He kisses them away and wraps his arms around her. “I don’t know if you got the memo, but I love you, Dana Scully.”

She rests her cheek against his. “I love you too, F--Mulder.”

Mulder chuckles, his amusement shaking both of them. Scully closes her eyes and snuggles into him. He puts his hand over her heart, feels it beating steadily into his palm, and longs for it to stay like that forever.

#i have been working on that last scene since uhhh...october #i apologize for any emotional distress this and the following chapters will cause lmao #probably only two or three chapters left!!!#thank you for reading <3 #only the light fic #missy and scully fic #txf #txf fic #the x-files #fox mulder #dana scully #melissa scully #mine

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ladymatt · 5 years ago

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🙌 Fic Rec Bingo 🙌

Created by @lightveils on Twitter, this sounded like a fun challenge to do - and I’ve managed to fill the whole card with #Malec fics! *In truth, I could’ve used a card for a number of individual writers on their own, but the fics I finally settled on are under the cut! ❤ Enjoy! And show the writers some love! :-))

👇LINKS TO THE 25 FIC RECS BELOW THE CUT 👇

*A FIC YOU LOVE WITHOUT KNOWING THE SOURCE MATERIAL*

✨ Beyond The Sea by @lemonoclefox ✨

Never played BioShock but the underwater city of Rapture was brought to life so vividly here, that it didn’t matter!

*A FIC WITH A PREMISE THAT SHOULDN’T WORK BUT DOES*

✨ How Rare and Beautiful by @glorious-spoon ✨

Having 'our' Malec appear to TWI's Magnus worked wonderfully, thanks to some very clever writing!

* A FIC YOU’VE RE-READ SEVERAL TIMES*

✨ Best Laid Plans by @superficialpeasant ✨

I'll always come back to this DEEPLY satisfying story of intrigue, authority, prejudice, support - and my favourite depiction of bad-ass, hot-as-hell Malec!

*A FIC YOU STILL REMEMBER YEARS LATER*

✨ Home by @otppurefuckingmagic ✨

I read this gem three years ago now, but I still remember the chills I got when the emotional build-up led to a twist that blind-sided me - in the best of ways!

*A COMFORT FIC*

✨ Higher Than The Big Trees by @carmenlire ✨

Getting updates for this lengthy tale, knowing it was only ever going to hit new heights of happiness each time, makes this a real heart-warmer!

*A CATHARTIC FIC*

✨Good Intentions by @alittlebriton ✨

There was only ever one contender for this - an alternative take on what happens after Malec's 3x18 break-up - because chapter 4 had me punching the air over both of them venting their shit!

*A FIC YOU’D PRINT AND PUT ON YOUR BOOKSHELF*

✨ Of Splendour In The Grass by @lecrit ✨

Prejudice, poetry, pining and period Malec, was captured so beautifully here that it deserves to be bound and displayed in pride of place imo!

*A FIC YOU ASSOCIATE WITH A SONG*

✨ Appassionato by @chonideno ✨

Thanks to this fic, I can't hear Liszt's Liebestrume No. 3 in A flat without thinking of Alec hitting all the right notes with his music-loving neighbour!

*A FIC THAT INSPIRES YOU*

✨Thousands Upon Thousands Made An Ocean by @ohlafraise✨

This emotional fic was a lesson in how to have a story pack a punch into less than 800 well-chosen words! Still hurts, even now!

*A FIC THAT BROUGHT YOU ON BOARD A NEW SHIP*

✨Lasă-mă să stau (Let Me Stay) by @superficialpeasant ✨

An absorbing one-shot relating to the writer’s Best Laid Plans fic, this unexpectedly charming love story between Underhill and Hawkstorm (HawkHill) is the canon I will cling to!

*A FIC YOU WISH COULD BE A MOVIE*

✨ A Dream Of Peace by @ketzwrites ✨

There are some fics too epic in scale and splendour for mere imagination to do them justice, and this historical tale of kingdoms and knights deserves to be watched in technicolor glory!

*A FIC THAT LED TO YOU MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE AUTHOR*

✨ Brooklyn Magic by @the-burning-tiger ✨

I've met so many through their work, but I'm singling out the brilliant,Tigs, here because of our ridiculous descent into poetical exchanges in the latter chapters of this fic - one of my earliest Malec reads! Sending cwtches, T! X

*FREE SPACE - A FIC THAT’S WORTH WAITING FOREVER FOR TO GET AN UPDATE - IT’S THAT GOOD!*

✨Working Hard/Hardly Working by @irisadler (on AO3) & @stupidnephilimlove ✨

I'm currently re-reading this sexually-charged getting-to-REALLY-know-you fic which includes relatable temptation, brilliant humour & a soft, sweet centre - believe it or not! Perfect title, btw!

*A FIC YOU’VE GUSHED ABOUT IN REAL LIFE*

✨Your Name For A Capital by @the-prophet-lemonade✨

This time-travelling tale of repeated love and loss was both rich in detail about Magnus' past and devastatingly bittersweet about what lay ahead in Magnus' future! His heartache made me cry!

*A FIC YOU ASSOCIATE WITH A PLACE*

✨Two Halves Of The End Of The World by @la-muerta✨

Batavia was finally brought to life for me, thanks to @tethysea's enviable talent for world-building, with all the scenic detail and historical references that help enrich the story itself!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU GASP OUT LOUD*

✨The Right Kind Of Love by @onyxmoon (on AO3)✨

I thought the 'betrayal' at the beginning of this fic was hard to take, but Magnus dealing with the aftermath and his own insecurities was even tougher! Malec learning to communicate is always a balm though!

*A FIC YOU FOUND AT THE RIGHT TIME*

✨Free Of Charge by @lorenzobane✨

Magnus being appreciated and protected by his dedicated and devoted Shadowhunter in this short but seriously sweet fic was precisely what I needed after S1!

*A FIC THAT YOU WOULD READ FIC OF*

✨Lead The Way by @clockworkswans✨

Like a black hole, this Doctor/Companion AU sucked me in, and just like the Tenth Doctor, I didn't want to leave! Such a moving and fantastical journey - I'd love to hear more of their adventures!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD*

✨Don’t You Wanna Stay by @AlxSteele (on AO3)✨

Enemies to Lovers is a fave trope of mine, and when the stubborn denial and seething dislike is burned away with sexy humour and telling gestures, as in this gem, it's great fun to read!

*A FIC WITH A LINE OR TWO YOU’VE MEMORISED BY HEART*

✨You Who Have Come From My Old Country by @poemsfromthealley✨

"Even so, Magnus loved him, loved him, loved him" - very few writers could persuade me to endure a Malec fic that tells of unbearable loss and suffering - but the touching celebration of their legacy is what I take away from this!

*A FIC THAT GAVE YOU BUTTERFLIES*

✨Body Of Memory by @glorious-spoon✨

This memorable fic about amnesia effectively had S1 Alec being confronted with S3 Alec's reality - and I STILL feel Magnus' fear and Alec's confusion in my bones!

*A FIC THAT EMBODIES SOMETHING YOU VALUE IN LIFE*

✨ Magnus Bane’s School For Young Warlocks by @Miasunrise (on AO3)✨

Alec doing whatever it takes to protect his children is definitely something I can relate to, and this cleverly-crafted fic of finding new family gives depth and character to Max and Raphael!

*A FAVOURITE AU*

✨Walkers Of The Winding Path by @poemsfromthealley

The bewitching combination of mythical monsters, supernatural hunters and this writer’s distinctive way with words means I'm completely under this story's spell! I'll walk this path many times, I think!

*A FIC YOU STAYED UP TOO LATE TO FINISH READING*

✨My Body Is A Cage by @unrestrainedlyexcessive✨

This was me dipping my toe into an AU I wasn't convinced I'd enjoy, but thanks to this writer’s compellingly-quirky storytelling, I couldn't rest before knowing what befell these fated lovers!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU FEEL SEEN*

✨Beautiful Distraction by @unending-happiness✨

Who better to colour my bespoke fic with every shade of me there is, than my parabatai, Brit! Welcome to my favourite pairing - Malec & Pandemonium! LY, B! ❤😘

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#MyPosts #FicRecBingo #Full card achieved!#Spoilt for choice really!#Malec #FicRec #lightveils #WriterAppreciation #It's important

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zozophoenixxx · 5 years ago

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Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 3✨

Flashpoint... oh gosh I used to hate this episode, I literally always skipped it but this time I'm gonna watch it you guys I promise😂

Nvm this episode might not be so bad, we get to see Barry all happy and with his mom and Dad and i-🥺

Omg do y'all remember in season 2 when Barry, Cisco and Harry went to E-2 to stop Zoom and Cisco said that he thought his doppelganger would be like a rich tech genius or sum like that... Not Cisco from flashpoint being a rich tech genius 🤭😃😂

Caitlin... She's a pediatric eye doctor🤭🥲😂 (flashpoint)

Wow wtf I had completely forgotten about Julian 😳

I swear I hate it when they mess so much with the timeline, I just can't keep up

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 30😘

⬆️ approximately bc I might have messed up 😅

Wow I thought season 3 was all savitar, I did not remember alchemy

Rival, Magenta (portrayed by Joey King, we love her),ɹǝʇsɐɯ ɹoɹɹıɯ and top, monster, shade, plunder, abra cadabra

OK Y'ALL I JUST NOTICED THAT IN THE MAGENTA EPISODE *breathes in* Barry and Iris go on their first date and electric love was playing... The fact that that's the song used in the trend where you kiss your best friend seems rights

Jesse got her powers 😃 we stan Jesse Quick⚡️

CECILE AND JOE I-🥺

Bro HR 🥺

Julian really was a b*tch at the beginning of this season, but his accent tho🥴🤤🥵

That height difference between Cecile and Joe is what I need in life I love them 🥰

Iris is such a badass bro I love her

Savitar is apparently the Hindu god of motion 🤭

Killer frost episode 🤭😃 I love the fact that Caitlin got powers but I still felt so bad for her like she didn't want that, she didn't want to hurt anyone 🥺

She really said some pretty hurtful things to Barry, he messed up everyone makes mistakes 🥺

Barry tricking Killer Frost into turning back into Caitlin was 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and then when she wanted to apologize and Cisco just hugged her and Joe too i- 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺 I think that was the first time when we saw Joe And Caitlin hug 🥺

Julian's such an ass bro he really forced Barry to quit and he really did just to protect Caitlin

Y'all ever get chills or just overall goosebumps whenever the music from the other shows start playing in the crossovers? No? Just me? Cool just wanted to know 😅

Felicity fangirling is me

Also Diggle throwing up every time Barry takes him from somewhere is hilarious or just him being done with anything that's not normal 😂

Bro supergirl I- 🥴🤩

NO AND THEN SARAH AHDHAHHAHAA she really said "it's kinda hot" (referring to Supergirl being a bad ass) when they were training lmao I cantttt

Cisco was getting visions of Dante, who was actually Savitar, and was manipulated into opening the box which brought Savitar out and really if it hadn't been for Caitlin, Barry and Wally would've been killed

DANG CECILE AND JOE JUST KISSED WOWWW😁

Their apartment i-

HR really got them a turtle named McSnurtle y'all i-

GYPSY

That scene where they told Joe that Iris was meant to die in the future was so🥺😞😩 I don't even know how to describe it

wally and Jesse were cute 🥺🥰🤌

Cisco and Harry were kinda mean to HR🥺

Grodd just tried to kill Joe and Harry and Cisco came up with a way to see into Grodd's memory through Joe and Istg Joe's face lmao, he's just so done with everything 😂

Dang Grodd's plan really was to kill everyone with nuclear missiles by controlling that military guy and Barry had to try every password combination to stop it just like he did in season 1 or 2 (idk lmao) when he was helping Snart and his father with a robbery

Y'ALL BAHSHHHAHAHA I love GYPSY she really just straight up kissed Cisco and went like "even if I did [like you] you couldn't handle me"

AND CISCO was all like "I'll marry that woman"😩😳😂💀

BARRY DID NOT JUST PROPOSE

Y'ALL WHAT I THOUGHT THIS WAS WAY LATER

I love that scene where they tell everyone 🥺

Bro why was Barry always so mean to Wally like I know he was stressed out about Iris but bro it wasn't Wally's fault 🥺

OMG JULIAN JUST KISSED CAITLIN🥺 they're adorable

Wally did watch Iris die

Jesse moved to E-1 when she was dating Wally for a bit and she stayed at Joe's house with the both of them

Savitar used The Greek myth of Atla to explain why he needed Wally to get out of the speed force ➡️ Atla can't let go of the sky without having someone take it from him.

Ok so by taking a part of the philosopher stone before it was thrown into the speed force, Caitlin technically kept Savitar from coming back. So if Wally hadn't had those visions where Savitar manipulated him into throwing that little piece of rock into the speed force... He wouldn't have been able to escape

That was kinda hard to explain. Idek if it made sense I'm sorry y'all I'm not good with words 😂

I love Harry 🥺

NOT EDDIE IN THE SPEED FORCE 😳

Ok y'all but whenever y'all watch it or rewatch it, there's this very cute and funny scene in S3 E16 min 17:00 between Caitlin And HR where she takes away his drumstick and he just takes out another one but it's very adorable because they keep messing around🥺

Bro the speed force was really being b*tch to Barry when he was trying his best to save everyone and change the future 😩😞

And Jesse was so mean to HR on Ep16🥺

Jay saved them 🥺

Ok relationships are so confusing wtf

THE MUSICAL EPISODE, MON-EL, SUPERGIRL OMG ITS BEEN A WHILE WTH!! Imma rewatch supergirl too😃

Melissa Benoist is so gorgeous 🥴🤩

The way Barry looked at her when she was singing I-

I love their friendship but I kinda ship them too🥺

OH I REMEMBER! this guy was trying to teach them a lesson about love, because they were both having relationship problems

He was also on glee. THE 3 OF THEM! I-

Darren Criss, I didn't know his name

I love this episode

Cisco and Winn And Malcolm singing and dancing, this couldn't get better

Omg I would love to see a Winn-Cisco-Felicity trio. I feel like they would work so great together 😁

IRIS AND MON-EL well actually Tommy Moran and Millie

Their fathers being gangsters is hilarious and their accents 😂

Everyone's facial expressions when John revealed that he was also an Alien 😂

Millie having 2 dads and those being Stein and Joe is great lmao although I never knew if it was because they were hay or it was more like Barry's situation 😂

JOE AND STEIN SINGING AND BARRY IN THE BACK Y'ALL IM🤭🤩🥺

I never thought I needed this 🥰

THEIR DUET IS COMING VDXHSBFVDHA

THEY'RE DANCING 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

This is officially one of my favorite episodes 😃

When they got shot they were very worried for each other and I just love their friendship

HE'S ABOUT TO PROPOSE, HE'S SINGING AHHHHH

COME RUNNIN HOME TO YOUUU 🎶🥺

I really liked how in the episode where Caitlin gets hurt when Abra Kadabra throws a bomb, Julian's the one to operate on her and Iris is right there with him trying to help out, even though they weren't truly friends until later on it shows that they're all really a family

And also Wally and Barry carrying her to the room 🥺

Also the fact that it was Caitlin guiding Julian through her own surgery shows how strong and amazing she is I love her 🤩

Caitlin (killer frost actually) is the 1st to know who Savitar is

BRO CECILE JUST TOLD JOE SHE LOVES HIM AND HE DIDNT- this got too ~umconfy~

Bro killer frost's outfit is pretty hot 🤩

Cisco was afraid of killing Caitlin on accident and that's why he didn't shoot her whenever they were trying to get her🥺

"She's my best friend... And I'd rather it be me than her"

I love him. And I love their friendship.🥺😞

BAHSHAHHA do y'all remember when they erased Barry's memories?

He's hilarious

JAHSHAHAJAJ and now they left him alone with Wally who told him they're basically brothers AND BARRY STRAIGHT UP GOT HIS HAND OUT OF HIS POCKET AND LOOKED AT HIS SKIN COLOR I-

Barry loved anime

He's so happy without his memories, he's gone through so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Snart prevented Barry from killing King Shark

HR and Tracy 🥺

The way HR blamed himself after he told Savitar where Iris was and the fact that he does end up saving her at the end is...🥺

Bro I felt really bad for Savitar later

But then he betrayed and 🙂

And now Barry just left

I swear I hated this cliffhanger sm

Cause whenever I started watching it this was the last season and I-

Also Iris killed Savitar

#the flash #barry allen #iris west #savitar #the speed force #Tracy brand #HR #Joe west #wally west #Cisco ramón #gypsy #killer frost #Caitlin snow #Julian Albert #just finished it #about to start season 4 😫

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bladgsmsoffical · 4 years ago

Text

Upcoming BL & BL themed drama

Those with release dates

2021

Nitiman the series (นิติแมนแฟนวิศวะ) [T] : 7th May

SiewSumNoi (เสี่ยวซำน้อย) [F] : 12th May

Top Secret Together [IG |F] : 14th May

The Most Peaceful Place Season 2 [Y | F] : 14th May

Be Loved in House [T | F | IG] : 20th May

The Love’s Outlet [F] 20th May

Mẹ Chồn Dâu Cáo [F | Y]

Pa-Mine Pare [IG] : 21st May

Saan, Sana Tayo sa Himig ng Musika [Y | F | IG] : 21st May

I Told Sunset about You Part 2 [T | IG] : 27th May

My Chinito Prince [Y] : 31st May

2gether the movie [F | IG | Y | T] : 4th June (Japan)

Country Boy [F | Y] : 15th June

Bed Weather [F] : 16th June

Golden Blood รักมันมหาศาล [T] : 23rd June

Ossan’s Love Hong Kong version [F | Y | IG] : June

Given [T] : 17th July

Gameboys The Movie [Y | IG] : 30th July

The Best Story [T | IG | F] : July

You’re My Sky [IG] : October

55:15 Never Too Late [F | IG | Y | T]

Bad Buddy [F | IG | Y | T]

Baker Boys [F | IG | Y | T]

Between us [T/T] (Hemp Rope)

Enchanté [F | IG | Y | T]

Eye Contact [F]

Kumasta Bro? The Series [Y | F]

Love Mechanics

Meet Me in Bangkok [T | Y | IG | F]

Middle Love [T]

Not Me [F | IG | Y | T]

The Player [F | IG | Y | T]

Semantic Error

What Did You Eat Yesterday? Movie [O]

Y.U? [IG | Y | F]

ฮักแรกคือเขาฮักเจ้าฮักสุดท้าย (My Last Love) : [T]

รักวุ่นวายของนายรสแซบ [T | Y | F | IG]

Upcoming but no release date

2Moons3 : The Ambassador [F | T] (New cast, none of the previous cast are taking part)

7 Project [Y]

Absolute Zero [T] (Rights brought for series)

Amore the Movie [Y | F] (A retelling of the Amore series from the director’s new company, with new cast)

Art Adore En The series [T | F | IG]

ArYa: Lakbay Serye [Y | IG | F]

One Day Pag Ibig Ikaw at Ako [F]

Be A Friend [F | Y]

Beat It the series [T | IG | Y]

Because of You 2020 series 2

Bed Friend series [T]

Better Days Book 2 [Y | T | F | IG]

Bittersweet [IG]

Unknown Future Comics x Studio Blue Joint Production [O]

Boys Next Door [T | Y | F]

Brothers Season 2 [F]

Brown x Coco [F]

Call it What you Want season 2 [O | T]

Chemistry in Love [T | F | Y | IG

Create Infinite Series Y Project 2021 [F]

Cutie Pie Series [F | T | IG]

Dear Cupid, Please Come to get the Subpoena and Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul [F | T(?)] (Casting)

Destiny Seeker The Series [T | F | IG]

Don’t Say No [T | IG | F]

Emergency Love the series

Explore the Series [Y | F]

Fah Lun Rak [F | T | IG]

Gameboys 2 [Y | IG]

GameOn the series [T | IG]

Grab a Bite : ส่งร้อน เสิร์ฟรัก [T]

He Called Me…? 2 [Y]

Idol Am I [T | IG | Y]

In My Mind the series [F | IG | T]

Inn Love [F]

Innocence the series [F/F | IG |T]

Innocent (Full version)

In Your Heart (在你心之所向的地方) [W | T]

KHI GẶP EM – 2GETHER PHIÊN BẢN VIỆT [F]

KinnPorsche The Series [F]

Knock Out Engineering วิศวะเกียร์มัว & Check Out Engineering วิศวะเกียร์พยศ (by CLAZZICAL) (Purchased for adaptation)

La Cuisine (เมนูลับฉบับแก้มยุ้ย) [F]

Left Alone [Y]

Libulan at Sidapa [T]

Light (小光) [T | O]

Like Love 3 [W]

Limited Edition [Y | F]

Love and Chemistry [T]

Love Arena [Y | F | IG] (Postponed)

Love by Fehlar [T | Y]

Love Love you 3 Dawn of four maidens [F]

Loveless Society [T | F | IG]

Love Lies [T | Y]

Love of Time the series [F] (Rumoured to have been cancelled)

Love on Me Pare [F]

Love Stage (Thai) [T | F | IG]

Love Storm [T / T | F]

Love Syndrome [T | F]

Love Team : Boy’s Lockdown S2 [T | Y]

Lovesick The movie (Currently unknown if the cast will be the same as the series, most likely new cast) [T | F]

Lovin’ U [F | T]

Meow Ears Up น้องเหมียวในห้องผม [T]

Mi Amor (Amore SS2) [Y]

MIM [T | F | Y | IG]

Mr.Bad Guy (นิยายตัวร้าย) [F]

My [F]

My Boy the series [F | T] (Filming)

My Bromance 2 : Side Story [F | Y]

My Dear You [F]

My Destiny the series [T | IG | Y]

My Engineer SS2 [F | Y | IG | T]

My Ride the series [T]

Nighttime in the Suburb [Y | IG]

Oh My Gee! The Series [T | Y | IG | F]

Once in Memory [T | F | Y | IG]

Our Stories by YoeNim [F | IG]

Pass To Your Voice (สะพานปูน) [T | F]

Patrick Rangsimant novels that are possibly being adapted

ASLove [T]

The ‘Our Story’ (กังหันพัดโบก) [T]

Mirror Reflection (ใครในกระจก) [T]

My Imaginary Boyfriend [T]

Peach of Time [T]

Rainbow Prince [F]

Reminders SS2 [T] (Mean and Plan are the only cast that have been mentioned to be returning so far)

Sakristan: The Second Reading [Y | IG | T | F]

Sea Him The Series Season 2 [Y]

Secret Admirer [T]

Secret Crush on You [T]

Seven Project [T] (Possible BL)

SILINGAN [F | Y | IG | T]

Status the series [IG | Y]

Stuck on You [T]

Summer Déjà-vu [Y]

Tarrar: The Series [F | Y]

Tell The World I LOVE YOU (บอกโลกให้รู้ว่ากูรักมึง) [IG | T] (Postponed until further notice)

That’s my Candy [IG | F]

The Bangkok Boys [F]

The Heart Accent Lamp [T | IG]

The Immerasuble [T | O]

The Status [IG]

The Sweet Robot [F | IG]

The Tale of the Tail [T]

The Theory Series [F | T | IG]

THE TUXEDO สูทรักนักออกแบบ [T]

The Victory Academy (So Much in Love SS2) [T |IG | Y]

The Yearbook [T]

Tie the Not [F]

This Moment [Y] (This Night sequel)

Touch Your Mind [F]

Triage [T]

Turbulence [T | F]

U & I : The Series [T | IG] (recasting)

Unexpected [Y | IG | F]

When the Apple Falls in Love [T | F | Y | IG]

Why Love, Why? Season 2 [Y | F | T]

You are my Arm [F]

you f o : ยู เอฟ โอ [Y | F | IG]

You’re Always in my Heart (Nilundon) [F | Y]

Zero the series [ T | IG]

ขอโสดStory (My Single Series) [F]

หวานใจนายวิศวะ [F]

แพ้กุ้ง My Sidekick [T]

คุณหมีปาฏิหาริย์ (by ปราปต์ ) (Purchased for adaptation)

บ้านซ่อนศพ (by สาววายรำพัน) (Purchased for adaptation)

น้องไอไลฟ์สด (by ++ saisioo ++) (Purchased for adaptation)

ม.4/1 คิดถึงจึงนั่งด้วย My Friendship [F | IG | Y | O]

คุณได้ไปต่อ (You’ve Gone On) [T | F]

Plus another Untitled BL series [T | F]

รักวุ่นวายนายรสแซ่บ (What Zabb Man!) [F/F | IG | Y]

ช่องวันอ่านเอา (Mon Meng Mang) [F | T | IG | Y | O]

คุณวิศวะขาโหดมาเป็นคนโปรดของผมเถอะครับTheSeries [F | T]

ขอดาวมาเคียงเดือน [F]

ដើម្បីស្នេហ៍ Just Love [Y | F | IG]

ส่งร้อนเสิร์ฟรักBiteMe [T | F | IG | Y]

ใส่รักป้ายสี (Sai Ruk Pai Si) [T]

새빛남고학생회 (Saebitnam High School Student Association) [O]

เฟื่องนคร [T]

เดือนอิงดอย

Announced but Inactive/Cancelled

After I Love you [Y | F] (Can no longer find reference to it)

Alternative Love 2 [W] (Mentioned to have been released but no confirmation. The actors mentioned it in August 2018. Weibo account for the movie and actor have changed names)

BadMan and Cherry [F | IG] (No update since announcement)

Behind the Scene the series รักหลังฉาก [F | IG | T] (Facebook page closed, though Twitter and IG still up but not active)

BloodyBuddy เล่นให้ได้เลือด (by ปราปต์ ) [T | F | Y] (Released at festival but no word on if it will get a release elsewhere)

CRY=ซ่อนรัก [F] (No update since announcement)

Dear My Friend [F/F] (No recent updates)

Destiny Boy ฟ้าลิขิตหรือใครลิขิต [IG] (No update since announcement)

FLY IN SHALLOW [W | B] (Trailer and BTS released but nothing since. Another movie based on the same novel was released though not BL and with an entirely separate cast. BL version likely cancelled)

GUEST ผู้ชายขี้เหงากับภูเขาลูกใหญ่ [IG | Y] (IG closed, youtube channel under different name)

HBL The Series [IG] (No updates since 2019)

HeartBeat the series [F | Y | IG] (Facebook page closed)

HIStory S2 Crossing the Line Movie [F| IG] (Cancelled, statement here)

HIStory S3 Make Our Days Count sequel [F| IG] (Never officially announced and not mentioned in the statement concerning Crossing the Line movie cancellation)

HUG Hill Aomkodpookhao Raoraknay อ้อมกอดภูเขา เรารักนาย [F] : (Originally set for release in 2019 but no updates)

Lady Boy Friends: เพื่อนกันมันส์ดี The New Class [F | IG] (No update since 2019)

LUCKY โชคดีที่รักเธอ [F/F | T] (Facebook updated Jan 2020 but no more information about series released)

Love by Cathy Doll short film series [F] (Shown at event only, no mass release.)

รักต้องตบ

รักต้องถอน

รักต้องรุก

Love Chase [IG] (Writer has left the production company and so the series will no longer be made under them. They have said the series may be made in the future.)

Love Complex (Continuation) [F | IG] (Due to channel reshuffle series was taken off air, production company inactive, likely cancelled)

Love Lab The Series [T | IG] (No update since 2017 but filming was started)

Love Next Door 3 [F] (Facebook no longer mentions it)

Lovers in Thailand [T] (All social media has been deleted, said to have been a fake production)

May I Love You? the series [T] (Became Thank God it’s Friday the series)

My Bromance Season 2 [F | IG] (No update since announcement and production company inactive, likely cancelled)

My Day the series season 2 [F] (Rumour that S2 has been cancelled, due to Aki leaving Oxin and joining a new company, but so far no official confirmation. Aki did a live stream talking about the issue. Oxin may plan on recasting Ace and still going ahead.)

My Dreamboy [F | T] (Announced to be released on 25/12/2020 but all social media has been deleted, said to have been a fake production)

My Dream The Series Alpha [F | IG | T] (Someone got in contact with P’Up and asked about the series. P’Up said he was sorry the series hadn’t been released in 2019 but that he couldn’t say anything about it but that if they have any new projects then they will update the official social channels)

My Extraordinary Season 2 : A Kiss to Remember [T | Y | F | IG] (Shelved)

One Night Stand [IG] (J.ACE TV have announced that their current series is their last)

Our Last Day [F | T] : Delayed due to recast (Originally planned for 30th April 2018, more than likely cancelled)

Penguin’s Trap กับดักเพนกวิน (by แบมแบม) [F | IG] : (Announced to have been picked up by Jinloe but no mention of it since)

Sex Friends (เพื่อนกันมัน(ส์)ฟิน) [F] (Discontinued due to internal conflict and lack of funds)

Soulmates The Series [F] (Facebook closed once again)

Status The Series [F(?) F | T | IG] (Workshop started but no update since August 2016)

That’s my Umbrella [F | T] (Facebook page & Twitter renamed. Twitter purged but Facebook still has content relating to the series, just nothing recent, likely cancelled)

The Extra SS2 [F | IG] (No update since announcement, production company inactive, likely cancelled)

The Law of Love [Y | F | IG | T] (On indefinite hold)

The Lawyer’s Love [T | Y | IG | F] (All social media has been deleted, said to have been a fake production)

Until Forever [T] (All social media has been deleted, said to have been a fake production)

War Of Highschool SS2 [F | T/T] (Jinloe had mentioned it was still coming soon however no update since then)

Where We Were [Y | IG] (J.ACE TV have announced that their current series is their last)

With Big Love [F] (Facebook closed)

Your Star The Series [F] (No recent updates)

เธอคือลมหายใจ [F] (No recent updates)

นายจอมหยิ่งกับชายจอมยุ่ง (Defeat Arrogant for Love) [F] : (Originally planned for a June 2020 release however has been put on hold)

ทัพอย่าเปิดกระโปรงน้อง (by FroggyTime) (Due to the controversy in Thailand about the book’s content the publisher deleted the tweet announcing it had been brought for adaption, the publisher has since stated the novel will be removed from sale and readers can return the book)

神將 (Sheng Jian) [F]

笙声入心 – Your voice, my heart [F]

วุ่นรักนักบิด Motor-Cycle the Series [F | IG] : (Originally planned for release in May 2020 but no update since August 2020)

โดยตัวละครชุดเดียวกัน (Memorie, Destiny, Miracle & Cupid) [IG] (IG deleted)

เกมเมอร์และน้องเด๋อของเขา (The Gamer and his Lover) [T] (Announced that production has stopped due to cost and inability to agree between parties)

စည်း The Series [F] (Facebook closed)

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jasmineon · 6 years ago

Text

All Ego Videos

A complete and chronological list of all ego appearances:

For anyone new to the JSE Ego community and doesn’t know where to start or anyone else who likes a list to refer to (like me)

1. Welcome to the game #2 (Jackieboy Man first appearance) [July 10, 2016]

2. The Jacksepticeye Power Hour – Marvin’s Magic (Marvin the Magnificent first appearance) [August 11, 2016]

3. The Jacksepticeye Power Hour – Dr. Schneeplestein (Dr. Schneeplestein first appearance) [September 15, 2016]

Antisepticeye; October 2016 – first canonical appearances (glitches) all leading up to Say Goodbye on October 31

4. FNAF Sister Location #1: THE START OF THE NIGHTMARE (originally called SOMETHING DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT) [October 10, 2016]

5. FNAF Sister Location #2: THEY HAVE AWOKEN… [October 13, 2016]

6. FNAF Sister Location #3: SOMETHING INSIDE [October 18, 2016]

7. “Soon” (found in the description of FNAF: SL #3)

8. The Temple of No [October 18, 2016]

9. Hello Neighbour #2: PLEASE DON’T KILL ME [October 19, 2016]

10. FNAF Sister Location #4: MERGED TOGETHER [October 22, 2016]

11. Clustertruck #16: CHOOSE YOUR OWN GOAL [October 23, 2016]

12. Stuntfest #1: GRANNY DAB [October 24, 2016]

13. Pipejob: SWIMMING IN POO [October 24, 2016]

14. Manual Samuel #3: ROBOT WARS [October 25, 2016]

15. Guts and Glory #5: MEET THE YANGS [October 26, 2016]

16. Layers of Fear #1: ALONE AND AFRAID [October 28 ,2016]

17. Stuntfest #2: SORE FROM LAUGHING [October 29, 2016]

18. Mr. President #3: BULLET PROOF CHEST [October 29, 2016]

19. The Cubicle: SCARIER THAN IT LOOKS [October 30, 2016]

20. Layers of Fear #2: THE SIGNS ARE HERE [October 30, 2016]

21. “Say Goodbye” [October 31, 2016]

22. CHRISTMAS DOCTOR | Amateur Surgeon Christmas Edition (Dr. Schneeplestein, 5:09 to 10:49) [December 24, 2016]

23. Detention #2: I’M SO SORRY (Anti, glitches only) [January 25, 2017]

24. Detention #3: BROKEN INSIDE (Anti, glitches only) [February 4, 2017]

25. Detention #4: BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS (Anti, glitches only) [February 16, 2017]

26. PAX East 2017 Intro (Anti) (found in the description of the “I’m Sick” vlog) [March 10, 2017]

27. The Jacksepticeye Power Hour – Chase Brody (Chase Brody first appearance, originally called Bro Average: Tea Bag Edition) [April 11, 2017]

28. Epidemic: SPREADING THE SICKNESS (Anti, glitches only) [June 12, 2017]

29. Bio Inc. Redemption #2: DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS (Chase Brody, patient was named Chase and "killed") [June 18, 2017]

30. Bio Inc. Redemption #4: TRUST ME I’M A DOCTOR (Dr. Schneeplestein) [June 24, 2017]

31. Bio Inc. Redemption: KILL JACKSEPTICEYE (Dr. Schneeplestein and Antisepticeye) [August 3, 2017]

32. South Park the Fracture But Whole (played episodes 2-13 as Jackieboy Man, but was stated to be non-canonical) [October 23, 2017 to November 27, 2017]

33. The Jacksepticeye Power Hour – Jameson Jackson (JJ first appearance, originally called A Good Ole Fashioned Pumpkin Carve, then changed to Jacksepticeye: The Silent Movie) [October 31, 2017]

34. Heartbound: MAN’S BEST FRIEND (Originally called MEMORIES OF UNDERTALE) (Anti, no glitches but Jack uses a very Anti-like voice in certain parts of the game) {Also included this game since this was the demo and many anticipate that Jack will play the full game in 2019 and include Anti stuff} [November 22, 2017]

35. Doki Doki Literature Club #4: EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE (Anti, glitches only) [December 3, 2017]

36. Doki Doki Literature Club #5: JUST MONIKA (Anti, glitches only) [December 5, 2017]

37. Overnightwatch (Anti, the stream was not archived so you can’t watch the whole thing but compilations of glitches/moments can be found on Youtube) [December 15/16, 2017]

Mayhem 2018 - A bunch of suspicious/ego related videos that occurred during the month of May, ending with First Winter

38. THE DOCTOR IS BACK – Gastric Bypass, Liposuction Surgery (Dr. Schneeplestein, end of video; originally called 100% REAL DOCTOR) [May 4, 2018]

39. Stories Untold #1: WATCH THIS WITH THE LIGHTS OFF (end of video) [May 5, 2018]

40. Barry Has A Secret (end of video) [May 6, 2018]

41. Stories Untold #2: THEY ARE LISTENING (end of video) [May 6, 2018 (2nd upload)]

42. Stories Untold #3: THEY’RE HERE! (voice of Chase Brody at end of video) [May 7, 2018]

43. Stories Untold #4: IT WAS ALL CONNECTED! (end of video) [May 8, 2018]

44. Try to Fall Asleep! (JJ and Marvin appear in TV/static glitches) [May 9, 2018]

45. TIE – A Game About Depression (Chase Brody) [May 11, 2018]

46. Dark Silence (Anti and Chase, end of video) [May 14, 2018]

47. EXPLORING AN ABANDONED HOSPITAL: Exiles (Anti) [May 16, 2018]

48. I AM SO CREEPED OUT BY THIS!: First Winter (Anti) [May 22, 2018]

*Note: while these are the only videos from Mayhem that had full ego content in them, there are a few other videos with suspicious moments/similar themes that I would recommend watching (Welcome to the Game 2, Yet Another Exhausted Day!, Check Please, Colourblind Test [Marvin mask in background])

49. HOW DID HE GUESS THAT! Akinator (JJ is the last character to be guessed; Anti w/ couple of glitches plus after outro clip, “SOON” hidden in audio) [August 3, 2017]

50. Eggs For Bart: WHAT AM I EVEN PLAYING?! (no glitches in game, but when the audio file was reversed, it said “I will return when you least expect it” and also had binary that spelled out “death” hidden in the file) [August 5, 2018]

51. Transference #1: THE DEMON LINGERS (Anti, glitches only; also, major Chase vibes because of family themes) [September 21, 2018]

52. Transference #2: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! (Anti, glitches only; also note several title changes w/ zalgo text) [September 24, 2018]

53. 3 Scary Games 1 Video #7 (Anti, glitches only) [October 14, 2018]

54. Watson Scott Test #1: THIS GAME SCARED THE S**T OUT OF ME (Anti, glitches only, also “Ch@s3” appearance) [October 20, 2018]

55. Umfend: TIME IS BROKEN (Anti, glitches only, also note suspicious title) [December 1, 2018]

56. Sally Face Part 4 #1: WAIT FOR THE ENDING! (Anti, glitchy outro) [December 7, 2018]

57. Quit The Game To Win (Anti, suspicious ending) [December 16, 2018]

58. Simulacra Pipe Dreams/Take Your Eyes Off the Screen (Anti, glitches only) [December 17, 2018]

59. Silent Fright: Bloodthirsty Santa (Anti, glitches only) [January 1, 2019]

60. This Person Does Not Exist (suspicious glitches) [March 13, 2019]

61. I'M not SCARED of these games... (suspicious glitches) [April 23, 2019]

62. I'll Get To The Bottom Of This... (May 7, 2019) (Anti audio, thank you for you contribution to 'this video/his death')

63. Something Is Incredibly Wrong Here... | Observation - Part 1 (suspicious themes/ending) [May 21, 2019]

64. Getting VERY Scared In Five Nights At Freddy's VR (FNAF VR) - Part 1 (glitches + suspicious writing on whiteboard) [May 22, 2019]

65. There's Someone Else Here! | Observation - Part 2 (suspicious themes/ending) [May 22, 2019]

66. No.... That's Not Possible! | Observation - Part 3 (suspicious themes/ending) [May 23, 2019]

67. They're SO Scary Up Close in Five Nights At Freddy's VR (FNAF VR) - Part 2 (Anti, after outro clip glitches) [May 24, 2019]

68. There's No Going Back Now! | Observation - Part 4 (END) (suspicious themes/ending) [May 24, 2019]

69. How High Will My Heart Rate Go Playing Five Nights At Freddy's VR (FNAF VR) (Anti, suspicious glitch from 2:53 to 3:08) [June 3, 2019]

70. My Inner Demon (Anti, glitches throughout) [July 8, 2019]

71. I Quit YouTube For This (originally called This Wasn't Supposed To Get Scary) (glitches + suspicious lines throughout) [September 16, 2019]

72. CHASE (Chase, Anti) [October 13, 2019]

73. You're Not Ready For These Scares (Dr. Schneeplestein, end of the video + appearing in glitches throughout) [October 19, 2019]

74. Can You Figure Out Who DID IT? - Jameson Jackson's Jolly Jaunts (originally called 'Jameson Jackson's Jolly Jaunts', then was changed to 'Unciver The Mystery, Who DID IT? - Jameson Jackson's Jolly Jaunts' before current title) (Jameson Jackson, Antisepticeye) [October 31, 2019]

75. You Said We Could Be Friends... | 3 Scary Games (originally called Please Don't Make Me Do This) (suspicious ending, jumpscare) [November 28, 2019]

76. These Scares Almost Killed Me | 3 Scary Games (originally called Where Did Jacksepticeye Go...) (suspicious ending/glitches) [January 16, 2020]

77. Sentient (originally called Don't Trust This Game (Anti from 'Always Watching' in the thumbnail) [February 26, 2020]

78. We Went Back (glitch + suspicious line) [April 10, 2020]

79. TERRIFYING BLAIR WITCH GAME | 3 Scary Games (Originally called WARNING: YOU WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING THIS | 3 Scary Games (audio of potentially egos/Anti talking, suspicious beginning and ending/glitches) [April 19, 2020]

80. WELCOME TO MY HOUSE (please stay away) | The Open house (originally called DON'T COME TO THIS HOUSE (please stay away) | The Open house) (zalgo comment made by Jack saying "OFFER ACCEPTED") [May 1, 2020]

81. Don't Make Eye Contact (originally called Argentum Inanis) (Marvin appearance, as well as flashback/vision/glitches of Antisepticeye, Chase, and Dr Schneeplestein) [October 31, 2020]

---------------

End notes:

I included the dates that videos were published on since Jack likes to mess around with anniversaries.

Title changes were also listed (Jack sometimes changes these as well, like the firestarter that he is, and this was especially the case with the first episode of FNAF: Sister Location)

-----

If there’s anything I missed, please let me know so I can add it! As a note, I don't add 'suspicious videos', because there would simply be too many - this list is strictly for full ego appearances and glitches. I also try to limit my glitches since if nothing else happens, it might just be an effect by Robin and doesn't necessarily mean anything.

I hope this list helps out anyone who’s new or those who would like a complete reference list!

If you are new, don’t feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff on the list. I know from experience that it can be a lot to take in, but don’t worry. Just take things slow, and don’t hesitate to message me or anyone else if you have any questions about the egos or past videos. There are a lot of super nice and incredibly smart theorists in this community who I’m sure would be more than happy to help you out.

Speaking of theorists, I’m gonna tag a few since they have some amazing theories of their own! I'll also put some additional info next to some of their names since their posts have been a big help to me as a theorist. :)

@fear-is-nameless (would heavily recommend their 4 timelines on ego events, as they contain links to a lot of posts/theories from the time)

@rogue-of-broken-time (lots of good theories)

@isa-ghost / @isas-theory-wall (Isa writes notes on every ego video and their theory wall blog is solely dedicated to theories)

@huffletrax (lots of good theories)

#jacksepticeye #neon theory #all ego videos #jameson jackson #dr schneeplestein #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #antisepticeye #this took so long

2K notes · View notes

thethirdwheel404 · 5 years ago

Text

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out).

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #med rewatch series #mine #soul care #ava bekker

1 note · View note

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

Note

hey Steph, really adore your blog. I saw your ask about s3 and s4 John and his anger. do you have any pics that deal with that? I think his anger is caused by his jealousy. he loves Sherlock and is deeply insecure about S's love for him. I'd love to find some fics that actually deal with all of that. thank you. x

Hey Nonny!!

I DO!!! Been waiting for another ask to finally get this list up and out! Hope you find something you enjoy on this one! <3

ANGRY / CRANKY JOHN

See also:

Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

And, Usually, He's the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John's bedroom is now a research library. It's not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They're friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it's not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It'll be fine.

Those Days by StillWaters1 (T, 2,663 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD / Sensory Attacks, Caring Sherlock) – If Sherlock had danger nights, then these were John's danger days.

Extraordinary by ardenteurophile (T, 2,739 w., 7 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Romance, Second Person POV Sherlock, Pre-Slash) – Sherlock tries to understand his preoccupation with one Doctor John Watson - the one case he can never solve.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company' by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It's a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w., 1 Ch. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John's conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn't seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can't tell what's real and what's not. How will Sherlock react?

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

This Year by DiscordantWords (T, 6,283 w., 2 Ch. || TEH Divergence / No Mary, New Year’s Eve, John’s A Mess, Jealous John, Awkward Conversations, Trapped in a Closet, Estranged After Return, John POV, Semi-Reunion, Angry John, First Kiss, Reconciliation, Clueless Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Last year, Sherlock Holmes showed up at the Landmark with a fake moustache and a bad French accent and threw John's entire life into disarray with two words: "Not dead." This year, there are more surprises in store.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,' Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.' And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5, 798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) – When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalize Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn't count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 28,347 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF / Pre-S3 Divergence, BAMF John, Anger, Fighting, Sex, Bed Sharing, Stalking, Case Fic, John’s Past, Introspection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Mythology, Darkness) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. Sherlock finds that coming back is not enough to fix all of the damage that he caused by leaving. A post Reichenbach, post reunion re-discovery fic.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock, John Separated From His Child) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #angry john #cranky john #my fic recs #long post

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doctorwho-rewind · 3 years ago

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S3 E1: "Smith and Jones"

When the hospital she works at is transported to the moon, medical student Martha Jones joins forces with The Doctor to hunt down an alien fugitive before the oxygen runs out.

Episode: S3 E1: "Smith and Jones" Date: March 31, 2007 Writer: Russell T. Davies Director: Charlie Palmer

Doctor: 10th Companion: Martha Jones

–

I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would, and I don't find Martha annoying yet.

I now remember that the reason she annoyed me was because of her writing, and how they made her immediately fall in love with the Doctor and spend the whole time pining after him (from what I remember), instead of being a strong character on her own without wanting him to love her. My ace heart wants more companions to be like Donna, where love doesn't come into the equation and it's just two pals on fun jaunts across time and space. But I digress.

This episode felt like a proper Doctor Who episode with an intriguing mystery (a hospital being transported to the moon and some twisty character reveals), weird alien creatures (the Judoon), and a fair bit of cheesy over-acting from the background actors thrown in for good measure.

My favourite tidbit about this episode is how Russell T. Davies teased David Tennant by making him say "Judoon platoon upon the moon", despite him struggling to say "Judoon" in his Scottish accent. I also very much enjoyed the subtle reference to Mr Saxon, before we knew what that meant in terms of the whole series arc.

My least favourite thing is that they just had to get in a kiss between the Doctor and Martha (with the excuse of him transferring some of his alien DNA onto her so she wouldn't show as completely human on the Judoon scanners), which sparks this whole "omg I love him but does he love me" thing in Martha.

A pretty good episode, albeit maybe a bit underdeveloped in terms of the story wrapping up quite quickly and simply, and already forcing a romantic interest.

–

⬅️ Previous episode: Christmas Special (2006): “The Runaway Bride” ➡️ Next episode: S3 E2: "The Shakespeare Code"

#series 3 #10th doctor #martha jones #judoon #russell t davies #charlie palmer #doctor who #doctor who rewatch

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tjlcisthenewsexy · 8 years ago

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High Wycombe is the Sussex Downs

The “triple poisoner” Sherlock mentioned he caught in High Wycombe at the end of TLD is from Doyle’s The Sign of the Four:

I assure you that the most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little children for their insurance-money - ACD

I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe - Sherlock in TLD

What’s cool is that when Holmes says that line in the canon, he is slyly comparing none other than Mary Morstan to the triple poisoner. It’s kind of an iconic scene, where they have both just met Mary for the first time, as a client.

“What a very attractive woman!” I exclaimed, turning to my companion. He had lit his pipe again and was leaning back with drooping eyelids.

“Is she?” he said languidly, “I did not observe.”

“You really are an automaton- a calculating machine,” I cried. “There is something positively inhuman in you at times.”

He smiled gently.

“It is of the first importance,” he cried, “not to allow your judgment to be biased by personal qualities. A client is to me a mere unit, a factor in a problem. The emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning. I assure you that the most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little children for their insurance-money, and the most repellent man of my acquaintance is a philanthropist who has spent nearly a quarter of a million upon the London poor.”

“In this case, however-”

“I never make exceptions. An exception disproves the rule.”

An exception disproves the rule. Oh, Sherlock, you salty thing. Holmes is warning Watson about his attraction to Mary, and that you can’t judge a person’s inner quality by how appealing their facade is. In fact he’s saying you never should, because it’s always wrong. He gives an example: the most appealing woman he ever met was a murderer of children. While the most outwardly repellent man he knows is truly a hero. Watson begins to suggest that Miss Morstan is surely an exception, and her inner quality is as lovely as her facade. But Holmes cuts him off before he can make his point, and says that there are no exceptions. The very fact that Watson was drawn to Miss Morstan at their first meeting, by Holmes’s reasoning, means she’s bad news.

Then there’s also the fact that the example that occurs to Holmes makes the woman “not what she seems”, then an initially “repellent” man his example of someone who is beautiful underneath. Gosh I wonder if he’s talking about himself, and simultaneously suggesting that he is the better of the two romantic options who were together in the room with John just a few moments before.

More under the cut.

Holmes says facades are false, without exception. The more appealing the facade, the more likely it’s a trick. Mary’s image was improved for S4; her cute soft curls instead of the more harsh slicked back short hair from S3, the tan, her wardrobe had even improved from the bizarre things they dressed her in in S3. I believe Mary’s S4 ‘look’ was to exaggerate, and draw our attention to, the falseness of a facade. Mary’s facade as something empty/false was already pointed out quite dramatically in HLV when her image was projected onto the empty house. I think that was to warn us of what was to come. That like Holmes warned Watson in The Sign of the Four, WE would now need to guard ourselves from being fooled by a facade.

She’s a triple poisoner with a winning facade, and apparently she’s been caught:

I once caught a triple poisoner in High Wycombe - TLD

And here Sherlock was the one to catch the triple poisoner, whereas in the canon nothing like that was mentioned (even though you could argue that it was implied), therefore we can assume that this has significance for our story because that detail was added for TLD. I’ll come back to this at the end.

What’s also interesting is the rich philanthropist who seems repellent. Sounds like Culverton Smith.

Culverton Smith, who is clearly made to be physically ugly and “repellent”; the teeth, the bad suits, the general creepiness. An example of someone (or something) that we find near impossible to see past the repellency to the good underneath. Culverton did say that he was “in credit” for the things he’s done, lives saved, money donated, etc.

Sherlock says of Smith in TLD that he’s “the most dangerous, the most despicable human being I have ever encountered” compared to “the most repellent man of my acquaintance” about the philanthropist in The Sign of the Four.

Then there’s a neat little thing in TAB that completes the story; a near identical comment made by Holmes to one in The Sign of Four:

My dear Watson, you are allowing emotion to cloud your judgement - TAB

The emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning. - The Sign of the Four

If you recall the context of that comment in TAB, it was John berating Sherlock about his cocaine use, calling him a “drug addict”. So when Sherlock tells John that his emotions are clouding his judgement, it’s clearly because here is Sherlock behaving “repellently”, but wishing that John could see past that to who he is underneath. To reinforce that this is indeed a reference to that theme from the canon, little Billy then rushes in with the telegram that alerts them that Mary has gone off on some assassiny mission. John is then unwilling to admit that Mary is anything other than his ordinary wife. He still can’t see past a facade, a winning one, or a repellent one.

WATSON: What is it? What’s wrong? HOLMES: It’s Mary. WATSON: Mary? What about her? HOLMES: It’s entirely possible she’s in danger. WATSON: Danger? HOLMES: There’s not a moment to lose. WATSON: Is this the cocaine talking? What danger could Mary be in? I’m sure she’s just visiting with friends. (x)

If facades are always wrong, then Mary is the murderer, and Culverton Smith isn’t. Because well, he wasn’t, and didn’t kill Sherlock in the end. One layer of the many different ideas that Culverton Smith seems to represent, could be the idea of someone or something physically unappealing that puts us off, but which is “in credit” in terms of goodness once you look further.

My thoughts always go back to homophobia and what the commentary there could be; like something that initially repulses or repels people (queerness), but which is beautiful once people break down and dispel their own ugly ideas. Think of Madame Vastra in Doctor Who, Moffat’s custom made Sherlock mirror. Her lizardiness represents that perceived ugliness, yet she’s somehow extraordinarily beautiful too - her appearance represents both how queerness is perceived by homophobes, and also the beauty that it truly holds. Holmes clearly sees himself as having a repellent facade to John, but I’m not sure how much this reflects John’s actual thoughts, since that was Sherlock’s dream. And the subtext here is not referring to attraction so much as how facades are a bi-product of repression, and that they’re broken down the more knowledge we gain, aka information is power.

I think John is also that “repellent” alternative for Sherlock, just as Sherlock represents John’s initially repellent alternative to Mary. Sherlock and John both battle the internalised enemy that is repression. Our repression is why we find something repellent that isn’t repellent, because repression is brainwashing.

Repression stops us from seeing past a facade. So this theme could also be behind the Culverton-John mirroring that many have pointed out. Sherlock lying there in that hospital, dying, letting his “repellent” male-attraction in the shape of Culverton, be the death of him. Or, letting it (the John who bursts through the door) save him instead.

What is High Wycombe?

It’s a real place. A fairly normal/ordinary large town in England, and could be supposed to be a juxtaposition of ordinariness to make a joke about the idea of Sherlock taking Irene Adler there for dinner; an unlikely scenario. (High Wycombe does, however, boast a well-known BDSM sex dungeon/B&B. Very funny, Steven.)

Amy’s Choice is a Doctor Who episode in one of Moffat’s seasons that you’re possibly sick of hearing about. Anyway, it’s significant here again for different, non-EMP reasons. In that plot, of Amy’s two choices that the episode was named for (it was sort of subtext, but she needed to choose between two cute boys, Rory or the Doctor), Rory represented an “ordinary” existence as an alternative to the excitement and danger of life with the Doctor. There were two parallel realities (both later revealed to be hallucinations, but anyway). One of them was Amy and Rory’s ordinary but blissful domestic dream life in a quaint country home, in a town called Upper Leadworth. Upper Leadworth is an entirely fictional location invented for that Doctor Who episode. Here is what I’m proposing, then I’ll tell you why. I think this all does link back to the EMP-parallel in that episode, but for now this little connection stands on it’s own:

Upper Leadworth = High Wycombe

Upper = High. Yes?? Yes.

But also...

The village of Upper Leadworth and the charming country home represented a sort of promised land, a utopia for Rory and Amy (even though Rory wanted it more than Amy did). Remember that over and over and over, in both Doctor Who and Sherlock, Moffat uses a marketable het-romance as a mirror for Sherlock and John’s story, or certain aspects of it anyway. Including often Amy and Rory.

Upper Leadworth:

I think High Wycombe is the equivalent for Sherlock and John, to Rory and Amy’s Upper Leadworth.

.... AND I think High Wycombe is a temporary place-holder for Sussex and bee hives.

I think High Wycombe is a little code, and an assurance that this future for Sherlock and John exists (as does the night of passion). Even the idea of it being High or Upper suggests the idea of rising upwards, rising above limitations, coming up from “the underground”. Also, the “down” in Sussex Downs is the opposite of Up or High.

Rewriting Down as Up, and replacing Sussex Downs with High Wycombe (if only temporarily), is sort of like rewriting history - taking Sherlock’s lonely retirement in the Victorian era where he couldn’t openly be a couple with John, and replacing it with one where they will live together.

Also, there’s the fact that High Wycombe exists, whereas Upper Leadworth, for no clear reason, was chosen to be a fictional location. I would suggest that this is because Amy and Rory never really did exist there together in Upper Leadworth. They ended up being (sort of) defeated by the Weeping Angels who I argued briefly over here, mirror Mary as a villain. That’s why Upper Leadworth is a fictional village - it wasn’t Amy and Rory’s future.

High Wycombe is a real place however, because so is Sussex Downs, and Sherlock and John are going to actually go there.

I don’t think I need to convince y’all that the “romantic entanglement” in TLD conversation was not about Irene at all, but about Sherlock and John’s relationship with each other. Just as ASiB was exactly that; not about Irene, but about Sherlock and John. Irene represented that wedge of heteronormativity that came between them; she causes as much confusion between Sherlock and John as she does for the audience. And still, the writers use her as a coded way for Sherlock and John to talk about their feelings for each other, like they’ve done before:

So she’s alive then. And how are we feeling about that? - ASiB.

WATSON: Irene Adler. HOLMES: A formidable opponent; a remarkable adventure. WATSON: A very nice photograph. HOLMES: Why are you talking like this? WATSON: Why are you so determined to be alone? -TAB x

So let’s look at the High Wycombe mentions at the end of TLD and try to decode the scary mess that it is, because we’re pretty sure they’re not really talking about Irene.

D’you go to a discreet Harvester sometimes? Is there a ... night of passion in High Wycombe?

Night of passion. Hmmm. Then a minute later...

...High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand.

So now John is using High Wycombe as code for sex + a relationship. We’ve stopped talking about Irene. Sherlock the machine is not yet relationship material, not until his head and his heart can hug and make up then start working together.

...currently equipped to understand...

Remember when TLD aired and all our hopes and dreams were still alive we were in fairly good spirits because this WHOLE DAMN scene clearly seemed like a set-up for romance in episode 3?? I think it is, and was, still exactly that - a set-up for romance.

The dialogue actually does foreshadow that Sherlock was about to go off and seek that which would “equip” him to “understand” how good “High Wycombe” could really be.

Romantic entanglement...would complete you as a human being.

Sherlock points out the obvious here when he says

That doesn’t even mean anything.

Because it really doesn’t. Unless you reverse the sentence, when it then becomes the plot of TFP...

Completing you as a human being, will make you ready for romantic entanglement.

Delving deep into metaphor-land, which is the only possible way to analyze The Final Problem in any way which yields answers instead of questions and frustration, we can now see exactly which of the many bizarre scenes in TFP was foreshadowed by this dialogue from the end of TLD.

As befits something as climactic as Sherlock becoming ready for love, and that love then saving John’s life, the “completed as a human being” bit was the climax of The Final Problem itself, and indeed the climax of the entire series, and I would go so far as to say, yes, probably also the climax of the entire show so far. You just have to squint your eyes and see past the weirdness of Eurus and her weird game, the girl in the plane, the clown, and definitely squint your eyes and ignore the plot holes, because as I’ve argued a lot, plot holes have always been, and are now more than ever, an invitation to dig deeper and look further.

Anyway. The climax of TFP was the sort of “on paper” completion of Sherlock’s character arc, hence why he was then immediately declared by Lestrade, in very cheesy fashion, to be “a good man”. Great to good. Done, complete. This is the scene I’m talking about -

Sherlock’s last and biggest challenge, finding Eurus, and thereby saving John from dying in the well.

If you view Sherlock’s “sister” as a long-lost part of him, then once he learned of her existence, found her, and “reconciled” with her, he was making himself whole. Complete as a human being. Two halves of one whole, back together again.

The whole “save John Watson” narrative is still going here. Whereas in TLD Sherlock needed on his death-bed to realise the value of his own life to John, (which is definitely not made clear in the slightest), here in TFP Sherlock is doing the same thing over again - saving John by saving himself.

Eurus symbolises the part of himself that was stolen from him as a child, when he began to figure out what he was, and then ‘what he was’ was immediately taken away from him. She represents the repression of his sexuality, which is why she was taken away and hidden and forgotten and locked in a cell (kept behind glass). Eurus is Sherlock’s fear of what he truly is and what he wants, she’s the “dangerous” in “love is a dangerous disadvantage”.

So he finds and saves Eurus, the two of them almost becoming the silhouette of one person as they hug in the dimly-lit attic room. Then up shoots John, de-chained and lifted from the well. Because Sherlock became ready for love when he “completed himself” by merging with his lost half, and then John was subsequently saved by that love.

Completing Sherlock as a human being has made him ready for romantic entanglement. He is now equipped to understand how good High Wycombe can be. So.....I guess that comes next? Steven? Mark? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Mary is Caught

Mary is the triple poisoner Sherlock caught in High Wycombe. He ‘caught’ her there, because the very act of Sherlock replacing Mary as John’s love interest, exposes her as the fake that she is. Making johnlock canon exposes heteronormativity as the villain in Doyle’s canon - the murderer who forced Doyle to decide to kill his creation.

@monikakrasnorada @ebaeschnbliah @gosherlocked @devoursjohnlock @the-7-percent-solution @possiblyimbiassed @sagestreet @shylockgnomes @sarahthecoat

#high wycombe #the lying detective #johnlock #tjlc meta #tld #sherlock s4

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angel-princess-anna · 8 years ago

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Downton Abbey Character List

This is an updated list through Series 6. The original list is here, although I’ve also been updating own list in a Word Doc since 2013, which is what this is based on. Below are the characters listed in alphabetical order by last name (for the most part). Characters not ever appearing on screen are in italics. For real people mentioned, I’ve only included them if the Crawelys et al. knew them personally (references to real historical figures will be included in a separate list). While I’ve included some family members without names who are mentioned, I have left out minor characters with no names and also animals (if you need that info or have any questions on that, message me). This does include information that is only included in the S1-3 script books.

I hope that the Keep Reading works on mobile, because this list is very long!

A Acland, Lady Anne (S6E6) Acland, Lord (d.; Anne's husband who died in WWI) Adams, Mr (formerly of the schoolhouse)

Aldridge, Ephraim Atticus [goes by middle name] Aldridge, Lady Rose (née MacClare) Aldridge, Victoria Rachel Cora (b. 1925; we see photos of her) [Aldridge] Daniel, Lord Sinderby [Aldridge] Rachel, Lady Sinderby Other family members mentioned: Lady Sinderby’s cousin Sir John Gluck (at the S5E8 party but not on-screen), The Melfords (Lady Sinderby's cousins, including one named Anne) For Rose’s relations see the MacClares

[Allsopp] Lord William "Billy", Baron of Aysgarth Allsopp, Lady (d.) Allsopp, The Honourable Madeleine Other family members who appeared on screen: older sister to Lord Aysgarth (S4CS)

Ambrose, Benjamin Baruch (real life bandleader at the Embassy, S4CS) Ames, Captain [no last name given] Alice (S3 maid; no lines) Ansty, Joseph Gerald, the Honourable (winner of Ripon by-election of 1913, probably not a real person based on Fellowes' note in the script book)

Anstruther, Dowager Lady (née Mountevans) Anstruther, Lord, "Jock" (d.)

Astor, John Jacob "JJ" (d. 1912 on the Titanic) Astor, Madeleine (on the Titanic, survived in real life)

[no last name given] Audrey (Edith's S6 secretary) Avebury, Mr (person who helped the second earl, would be d.) Avignon, Arsène (real life chef at Ritz in London) Axford, Sir Patrick (racer, S6E7, blows gaskets)

B Bakewell, Mr Bakewell, Mrs Bailey-George, Lady Elizabeth (S4CS) Margham, the Duchess of (I am assuming this is Elizabeth's mother, she is presenting her) Barrow, Mr Thomas (Acting Sergeant in S2) Other family members mentioned: Father, sister, cousin

Barnard (Downton Abbey gameskeeper, S2CS. Mary references him, and while I'm not sure someone was assigned to play him, he'd be in some of the shooting scenes) Barnes (tenant, S4E1) Bartlett, Mrs Audrey Bassett (gardener at Downton Abbey, S2E1)

Bates, Mrs Anna May (née Smith) Bates, Mr John Bates, [Anna and John's newborn son] (b. 31 Dec 1925) Bates, Mrs (mother of John, d. 1916) Bates, Mrs Vera (d. 1918) Other family members mentioned: Anna’s father (d.), Anna’s mother, Anna’s step-father, Anna’s sister (possibly d.); John’s Scottish grandmother who was a Keith (d.), John’s Irish relatives; Vera’s cousin Mr Harlip.

Baxter, Miss Phyllis Beaumont, Lady (S5E5 cocktail party guest) Beet, Mr Alfred (Carson's old butler when he entered service; only mentioned in Rules for Household Staff book)

Bellasis, Tom (d. 1916) Bellasis, Lady Benton, Mrs Benton, Mr [no last name given] Beth (maid at Crawley House; never seen) [no last name given] Betty (maid at Dower House in S4; appears on screen in S6CS)

Bevan, Rita (S6E1, her fake name is "Ellen Gouse") [no last name given] Billy [also credited as "Race Stopwatch Man" in S6E7] [no last name given] Billy [mentioned by Mrs Hughes in S6E7, a hallboy maybe?] Bird, May (”Mrs” as she’s a cook) Family members mentioned: sister Blake, Mr Charles Blake, Sir Severus (Charles' father's cousin)

Bow, Mrs (lived in a cottage on the estate, the Bateses more than likely live in that same cottage now) Bramley (servant who wants to move the feeding pens and needed a decision, mentioned along with Cripps in scene seven in S1E3) Braithwaite, Miss Edna

Brocket, Mr (gardener at Downton Abbey, S1E4. Also mentioned in cut lines in S2E4) [S6E3 has a "Mr Brock" who cuts the flowers for the wedding. I assume that this is the same character]

Brand, Sergeant (works with Inspector Stanford) The Bransons of Cork (not related to Tom)

Branson, Kieran Branson, Lady Sybil Cora (née Crawley) (d. 1920) Branson, Miss Sybil "Sybbie" (b. 1920) Branson, Mr Tom Other family members also mentioned: Tom’s mother, Tom’s cousin in Boston, Tom's grandfather, other cousins (Bill [d. 1916], Nula, daughter of Nula)

Brennan, Mrs (Brancaster cook) Bricker, Simon Bromidge, Mr Bromidge, Mrs (mother of Mr. Bromidge)

Brook, Mr (The Bateses' tenant of their London house until S5E7) Brooks (Carlisle's valet) The Broughams (friends of Violet's who vacation in Cannes) Bryant, Major Charles Bryant, Mrs Daphne Bryant, Mr Horace Bullock, Sir John [Bunting] Imogen (Sybil's friend; in the final version Sybil doesn't say her last name, but it's in the S2 script book) Bunting, Miss Sarah

Burns, Ivy (d. 1912) Burns, Joe Burns, Peter Burns, Mr (Rosamund's chauffeur in S4E1, no relation to the others) Burton, Major General B. (real commander of Division at Richmond, S1E7) Bute, (”Mrs” as she’s a housekeeper) (Grantham House housekeeper, S4CS. No longer employed by S5E8)

C Callender-Becketts (where Sir Anthony was going when he stopped by to invite Edith to the concert in York) Carlisle, Sir Richard Carlisle, Mr Mark Other family members also mentioned: Sir Richard’s mother (d.)

Carson, Mr Charles Ernest ("Charlie") [middle name from prop] Carson, Mrs Elsie May (née Hughes) (”Mrs” Hughes as housekeeper) [middle name from prop] Other family members also mentioned: Charles' dad (d.) and grandad (d.); Elsie’s sister Becky Carter (partner in law firm Matthew works at in Ripon) Cartwright, Colonel (who had a place for Thomas as a medic in the Great War, S1E7) Cavendish, "Taxi" [While a real family from the time, Fellowes notes in the script book that this person's first name comes from a friend of his father]

Chamberlain, Neville (Minister of Health in 1925, later Prime Minister) Chamberlain, Anne de Vere Cole (real person, Neville's wife. Fictitiously, she is Robert's father's goddaughter) Anne de Vere Cole's father (who served with Robert's father in the Crimea War) Horace de Vere Cole (Anne de Vere Cole's brother)

Charkham, Mr (Reggie Swire's lawyer) Chetworth, Mrs (Sir Anthony's sister) Chirk, Mr (lives in a cottage on the estate, more than likely the Bateses’ neighbor) The Churchills Clark, Daniel Clark, Diana

Clarkson, Dr. Richard Cobb, Mrs (former tenant of the Carsons' cottage) Coates, Sir John (another doctor who examined Matthew after his war injury) Collins, Miss (Violet's S5 lady's maid, until S5E5) The Colthursts (guests invited to Robert's party) Colthurst, Kitty (friend of Rose's in S5E1, probably related to the above)

Coombs (This might be Edith's editor in S5E6 who appears on-screen for five seconds) Connaught, Duchess (Lady Reresby was her lady in waiting) (d.) Corville, Oliver Coulter (tenant farmer on the estate) Cox, Mr (former spice shop owner in Thirsk) Courtney, Lieutenant Edward (d. 1917) Courtney, Jack Coyle, Peter Craig Crane, (”Mrs” as she’s a housekeeper) (Duneagle housekeeper)

[Crawley] Cora, Countess of Grantham (née Levinson) Crawley, Lady Edith [see the Pelhams] Crawley, George (b. 1921) Crawley, Mrs Isobel (née Turnbull) [see the Greys] Crawley, Mr James (d. 1912) Crawley, Lady Mary Josephine [see the Talbots] Crawley, Mr Matthew Reginald (Captain; Esq.) (d. 1921) [what is her official last name??] Marigold (b. 1923; see the Pelhams) Crawley, Mr Patrick (d. 1912) Crawley, Dr Reginald (d.) [Crawley] Robert, Earl of Grantham (Lord Lieutenant, Colonel) [Crawley] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham Other family members also mentioned: Robert's father/Violet's husband (d.), Robert's grandmother/Violet's mother-in-law (d.), the 2nd Earl and his mother (d.), Violet's mother (d.), Cousin Freddie, Anne Gordon (Robert's great aunt), Roberta who loaded the guns at Lucknow, Mrs Vanneck (cousin of Violet), James's mother (whom of which Violet hated), Matthew's great-great-grandfather (who was the son of the 3rd earl), the 3rd earl built the abbey (d.), the 4th earl put together the library and also collected "horses and women" (d.), an aunt that was good at macramé For Cora’s relations see “Levinson”

Cripps (an employee of the estate mentioned twice in S1) Crowborough, Duke of, Philip Crump, "Old" (smithy in the next village who was working at the old Skelton Estate all week in S1E5) Cruikshank, Henry [father of Amelia] Cruikshank, Mrs [mother of Amelia] Cunard, Lady [And Lady Cunard's daughter] Curley, Mrs (owns a dress shop in Ripon) Curran (Mentioned by Murray S3E1, possibly one of his partners)

D Darnley, Sir John Other family members mentioned: Marian, Tom, Sir John's father (d.)

Daunt, Mr (Sinderby's valet) Davis (Matthew's soldier-servant, possibly d.) Davis, Bella (Rose's friend, helps with Russians; is only mentioned in final version of S5, but appeared on-screen in PBS version of S5E5) Dawes, Mr (Headmaster of the school S5-6) Delderfields (the people Cora met along with Evelyn Napier at the Doncaster Races; in a cut scene, they were Tom's former employers, and his father was a tenant there. This was cut I suppose because Tom's family still lives in Ireland instead) Denker, Miss Gladys Dent The Derbys (cut S3E4 lines, pg. 204. Must have been real and just had a baby in 1920) Dominic, Father (priest that baptizes Sybbie)

Dorrit, Mrs "Mrs. Flecter" (guest at Mrs Patmore’s B&B) Dorrit, Mr Drake, John Drake, Mrs Drax, Miss (one of the young girls who is Mary's bridesmaids, name is in cut line S3E1) Drewe, Mr Timothy "Tim" Drewe, Mrs Margie Drewe, Peter Drewe, Billy Other family members who appeared on screen: daughter of Margie and Tim Other family members mentioned: Tim’s father (d. 1922)

Drumgoole, Lord and Lady (Laura Dunsany), and their sons (do not seem to be real) Dudley Ward, Mrs Freda (real person) Duff-Gordon, Lady Lucy Christiana (dress designer of "Lucille"; a survivor of the Titanic) Dufferin, Lady Maureen (socialite, friend of the Crawleys) Durrant, Mr Dupper, Mrs (S2E8 cut lines) Dupper, Mrs Jill (S6E6 dinner guest of Evelyn's; my guess is a reused last name that didn't make it in before) Dupper, Mr (Husband of S6E6's Mrs Dupper; d. in WWI) Dyer, General Reginald

E Edmunds, Miss Laura [no last name given] Ellen (maid at Crawley House) Elcot, Mrs. Elcot, Bob (d.) Elcot, Robbie Ellis, Lord (estate owner in Easingwold in S4) [no last name given] Ena (S5 scullery maid) [no last name given] Elsie (maid at the Stiles') Eltham, Lady (I believe this is a reference to the real Dorothy Isabel Westenra Hastings) Evans, Mr Walter (winner of an award at the flower show) Evans, Mr (man who makes headstones and plaques in S5)

F Fairclough (tenant, S4E2) Fairclough, Mr (on the hunt with Mary, S6E1. Unsure if this is a name reusual or the same character) Field, Mrs (Isobel's cook in S4E1) Finch, Mr (organizer of Fat Stock Show, S6E2) Fitzalan-Howard, Gwendolen, Duchess of Norfolk (real person and friend of Violet's; confirmed in S3 script book to be based on the real person) Frobisher (Mentioned by Murray S3E1, possibly one of his partners) Foyle, Anthony "Tony", Viscount of Gillingham Other family members mentioned: Johnny (Tony’s father), grandmama Fry, Roger (real life painter)

G Gannnon, Mrs (cut S3E1 lines, housekeeper at Easton Grange) Gaunt, Mrs (telephone operator) [no last name given] George (Grantham Arms bartender in S3CS) George, Marsha (friend of Rose's S5E5) George V, King Goldman, Dr T. Gordon, Major Peter ("Patrick") Gordon, Dr (a friend of Isobel's in Manchester, S1E2) [no relation] Graham, Adela (Peter Hexham's cousin and fiancee) Gregory, Lady Isabella Augusta (real life Irish revolutionary) Graves, David (Credited as "Ripon Wedding Registrar", but his name is visible on the sign) Green, Mr Alex (d. 1922)

Gregson, Mr Michael (d. 1922) Gregson, Lizzie [no last name given] Gertie [S6 maid] [Grey] Richard "Dicky", Lord Merton [the CC has a 'y' for most episodes but S5E8-CS is 'ie'] [Grey] Ada, Lady Merton [Grey] Isobel, Lady Merton (née Crawley, Mrs. Isobel (née Turnbull)) Grey, Larry Grey, Amelia Mary (née Cruikshank) Grey, Tim Grigg, Mr Charles "Charlie"

H Harding, Mrs Gwen, (née Dawson) Harding, Mr John Other family members mentioned: Gwen and John's children; Gwen’s parents

Harvell (a partner in the firm Matthew works at in Ripon) Haig, General Douglas (real person who later becomes a field marshal) Harriaby, Lord (S4CS first party guest) Harrowby, Lord (guest at first party in S4CS, friend of Madeline's father) Hays, Charles Melville (president of the Grand Trunk Railway that Robert invested in; he was real and d. on the Titanic) Henderson, Mrs.

Henderson, Mr Philip Henderson, Mrs (S6E1; this actress also appeared as an extra in S4CS; I don't believe that is this is earlier Mrs. Henderson) Other family members mentioned: Philip’s uncle

Hepworth, Lord "Jinks" Other family members mentioned: the late father of the current lord (d.) Hewitt, Major Hexham, Lord, Peter (d. 1925) Hexham, Lord ("Old Lord Hexham") (d.)

Holmes, Major The Howards Howard, Lord (of Glossop) (S5E5 cocktail party guest; I assume related) Other family members mentioned: the late father of the current lord (d.)

I Ingleby, Lady (S5E5 cocktail party guest) Ingraham, Lady

J Jackson, Mr (probably the groundskeeper, S5CS) Jackson (Merton's chauffeur, S6CS) Jarvis, Mr Jefferson, Mrs (S4E3 party guest) Jellicoe, Admiral John, 1st Earl Jellicoe (real person in the Royal Navy, Blake and Tony served under him) Jenkins, A. (person who wrote to Gwen about the job in S1E5) Jervas, Lady (she offered Sir Anthony and Edith a bit to eat after the hungry hundreds concert in York) [no last name given] Jimmy (S1 postboy) [no last name given] John, Sir (S3E2 party guest) [no last name given] John (S3 hallboy)

K Kelder, Fraulein Kent (soldier in Matthew's unit, d.) [no relation to Jimmy's family that we know of] Kent, James "Jimmy" Other family members mentioned: mother (d.), father (d.) Kerr, Ralph (officer in the Royal Navy; Mabel mentions a man by this name as a friend) Kuragin, Prince Igor Kuragin, Princess Irina

L Lane Fox, Lord Osweston (d.) Lane Fox, The Honourable Mabel (assuming that she did marry Tony as planned, Mabel would become Viscountess Gillingham) The Lanes (S2E8 cut lines; I am assuming Fellowes reused these names for S4) The Lane-Fox twins (S3E1 cut lines; the real life Lane-Foxes are Fellowes' neighbors. I think he reused their name for Mabel because the mention[s] got cut and still wanted a shout out to them. These would be two of the bridemaids in Mary and Matthew's wedding. There are two others, and one had a cut line in the rehearsal)

Lang, Cosmo Gordon, Archbishop of York (that's his name historically, Violet calls him "Dr Lang" once) Lang, Mr. Henry [no relation] Lawson, Lady (she was mentioned in another episode outside of S5E5) Lawson, Sir Henry (S5E5 cocktail party guest) (the Lawsons are a local family apparently and get name dropped often)

Levinson, Mr Harold Levinson, Mr Isaiah (d. this could possibly be Isodore's original name, as it's from cut S1E2 dialogue. Or Isodore's father). Levinson, Mr Isodore (d.) Levinson, Mrs Martha Other family members mentioned: Cora's aunt

[no last name given] Lily (the only housemaid to be in all of the first five seasons, barring Anna who was promoted. She does not appear in S6) Lisbon, the Earl and Countess (guests at the dinner of Edith and Bertie's engagement dinner) [no last name given] Louise (guest at Rose's wedding reception) Lynch [no last name given] Lucy (works for Tufton) M MacClare, Lady Agatha [possibly a spinster or a widow] [MacClare] Hugh "Shrimpie", Marquis of Flintshire MacClare, The Honourable James [MacClare] Susan, Marquess of Flintshire Other family members mentioned: Annabel and her husband (Rose’s sister and brother-in-law; I believe her and her husband were cut from the S5E8, as they were cast for S5 per agency sites); Shrimpie’s sister Louisa, Countess of Newtonmore (Shrimpie's grandmother)

MacDonald, Vivian (male friend who is studying for the bar, S1E2)

Mead (Rosamund's butler) Other family members mentioned: sister

[no last name given] Madge (S3-5 housemaid who also dressed Edith and Rose in the later seasons; is noted in S6E1 to be leaving service) Maley (Violet's gardener S4) Mall, Mrs (Ivy's former employer, deleted S3E5 scene) Manville, Lady (S3E2 Party guest, S5E8 reception guest)

Margadale, Terence Margadale, Mrs (Terence's wife) Markievicz, Countess Constance Georgine (real life Irish revolutionary and politician) The Marlboroughs Marsh, Mr (tenant, seen from afar in S4E1) Martin, James Dillon (socialist candidate at the Ripon by-election in 1913, probably not a real person bases on Fellowes' note in the script book) Mary, Queen

Mason, Mr Albert [first name from Celebration book] Mason, Daisy (née Robinson) Mason, Mrs Mason, Private William Other family members mentioned: William's siblings who did not survive infancy

[no last name given] Mavis (no lines, Mrs. Bartlett's neighbor?) [no last name given] Mavis (S3E4 cut lines, another fallen woman) [no last name given] Maud (asked a questions at the hospital meeting in S6CS) McCree, Mr McKee, General McKidd, Ian "Dr Flecter" McNair, Lady Anne McVeigh, Mrs [no last name given] Meg [S3E5 cut lines, Crawley House maid] Melba, Dame Nellie (real life opera singer) [no last name given] Michael [S5-6: this is per one of the extras who plays a hallboy's Twitter, his name is never uttered in the show] Mexborough, Lord (whom the family has their meal with after the Malton show in S6E2) Minterne, Lord (attended James and Patrick's funeral) Moncriffe, Isabella (someone Sir John Bullock mentions in S4E3) Monk (Gregson's butler/servant/person)

Moorsum, Freddie Moorsum, Jane Other family members mentioned: Harry (Jane’s d. husband), Jane's mother [idk Jane's maiden name], Jane's four siblings

Morgan, Trevor Andrew (Liberal Candidate in Ripon By-Election 1913, not a real person) Molesley, Mr Joseph [his name was originally Alfred until S4 when confirmed as Joseph on-screen] Molesley, Mr William "Bill" Other family members mentioned: Joseph’s mother (d.) Molyneux, Edward (real life fashion designer; Cora has a fitting with him in S5E3) Moore, Mr (man at other house were Thomas interviews S6E2) Mountevans, Harry (sibling of Lady Anstruther and Lady Renton) Murray, Mr George

N Napier, The Honourable Evelyn Napier, Viscount of Branksome (father of Evelyn) Other family members mentioned: Viscountess of Branksome (Evelyn’s mother) (d.) Neal, Alice (d.) Other family members mentioned: sister Nield, Mr The Northbrooks (family at who's conservatory Mary flirted with the Duke at) Nugent, Alfred Other family members mentioned: father (d. 1922), mother, sister See also the O’Briens

O O'Brien, Miss Sarah Other family members mentioned: sister (Alfred’s mother), and at least one brother (d.) See also the Nugents

The Olds (tenants, S4E2)

P Painswick, Mr. Marmaduke (d.) Painswick, Lady Rosamund Pamuk, Kemal (d. 1912) Parker, Andrew "Andy" Parks, Charles "Charlie" (probably goes by Charlie Bryant post S3?) Parks, Ethel

Patmore, Beryl (”Mrs” as she is a cook) Other family members who appear on screen: Lucy (Mrs Patmore's niece, her sister's daughter [which sister, we don’t know) Other family members mentioned: nephew Archie Philpots (d. 1916), sister Kate Philpots, another sister (d.), aunt (father’s sister) (d. 1924) and her husband (d.)

The Pascourts (friend of the Duchess of Yeovil) Pattinson, Mr (S4-5 Downton Abbey Librarian) [no last name given] Peter (S3-5 hallboy) Pegg, Mrs. (appeared in PBS' edit of UK episode of S4E4) Pegg, Greta (appeared in PBS' edit of UK episode of S4E4) Pegg, John

[Pelham, Mr] Bertie, the Marquess of Hexham [Pelham] Edith, Marchioness of Hexham (née Lady Edith Crawley) [middle name is 'Josephine' on a prop but that is also Mary's, which was actually uttered in S2] [Pelham?] Marigold [Edith probably changes her daughter’s name to "Pelham" when she marries Bertie] (b. 1923) Pelham, Mrs (mother of Bertie) Other family members mentioned: Bertie’s father (d.) See also the Hexhams

Portsmouth, Annabel (Mary's friend willing to cover for her with Tony) Potter, Mrs (Violet's S5-6 cook) Pratt

Primrose, Archibald, Earl of Rosebery (British socialite and Prime Minister Violet knew; d. 1895) Primrose, Hannah (née Rothschild), Countess of Rosebery (British socialite Violet knew; d. 1890) Pulbrook, Mr Clive ("Mr Pillbox" "Mr Pumpkin") (d. 1919)

R Rankin (soldier in Matthew's unit) (d.) Raven, Lady (S4E3 party guest) Radclyffe, Jane (S4CS) Derwentwater, the Countess of (I am assuming this is Jane's mother, she is presenting her in S4CS) Raycourt, Mr (Atticus' friend at his stag party) Raymond, Johnnie (someone Robert mentions in S5E1 as a general or colonel; I don't think he is real) Reed, Miss Renton, Lady (née Mountevans) (sister of Lady Anstruther) Reresby, Sir Michael (Dryden Park owner where Thomas looks for work - S6E3) Other family members mentioned: his wife Lady Reresby, two sons who d. in WWI Roberts, Mr (perfume seller in York) Robertson, General (I don't believe he's real) Rogers, Charlie (d. 1925) Rose, Mrs (nursed Sybbie) Ross, Jack Other family members mentioned: mother Rostov, Count Nicolai Rothes, Lucy (on the Titanic, survived in real life) The Russells (owners of Haxby when Carlisle wants to by it) Russell, Billy (d.) Ryder, Dr

S Salter, Mr (owner of the pub Bates went to in S4E8; mentioned in S5CS) Sampson, Terence Savident, Lord (whose valet Thomas wrote to about Pamuk and Mary which is what starts the rumors S1E5) The Scrupts [CC says Scroops] Semphill Girls (one of whom Evelyn Napier was engaged to in S1) Shackleton, Lady Prudence Shackleton, Lord Hubert (Prudence's husband) (d.) Shackleton, Lord Philip (Prudence's son) Shackleton [Philip's wife] See also the Talbots Sheffield, Billy Other family members mentioned: son The Schroders [Swiss family who adopted Edith's daughter at first] Shore, Miss Marigold Shortt, Edward (real life Home Secretary from 1919-1922) Shute, Basil Skinner, Mr (Edith's editor in S6) Skelton, Billy (Appears to be neighbor of the Crawleys, at Skelton Park) Simmons, Miss (Violet's lady’s maid who left her to get married) Simpson (tenant farmer? Mentioned S3E8) Slade, Mr Ethan Smiley, Captain

Smithers (Violet's S3E1 lady's maid) Smithers (Tenant at Oakfield farm in S5E1) The Southesks (attends of Sybil's funeral; could technically be the people leaving the house in the beginning of S3E6; named after Fellowes' friends) Spenlow, Agatha (Cora's friend in Malton)

Spratt, Mr Septimus ("Cassandra Jones") Other family members mentioned: niece of Spratt, niece’s husband; (Spratt's brother or brother-in-law is d.), nephew See also the Sterns

Stark (Chauffeur S3CS-S5CS) Stanford, Inspector Stapley, Mr (a veterinarian it seems) Stapley, Mrs Stephen (A Downton groom in S5E6) Stephens, Sergeant Stern, Mrs (Sister of Spratt) Stern, Wally (nephew of Spratt) Stewart, Mrs (family friend) Stiles, Sir Mark Stiles, Lady Stowell, Mr Strachey, Lytton [mentioned in S6E1 as having attended one of Gregson's parties] Strallan, Sir Anthony Phillip Strallan, Lady Maud (d. 1911) Strutt, General Sir Herbert Stuart, Ivy Stuart, Mrs (family friend who lives in Malton, not related to Ivy) Suter, Eugene (real hair stylist) Swann, Madame (Sybil's seamstress) Sweden, King of (knew Violet's husband)

Swire, Mrs Anne (from the script book) (d.) Swire, Jonathan Swire, Lavinia Catherine (d. 1919) Swire, Mr. Reginald "Reggie" (was at Lavinia's funeral but had no lines; d. 1919) Other family members mentioned: Cousin Binny (S2E8 cut lines) Sykes, Sir Mark (S2E8 cut lines)

T Talbot, Henry Talbot, Lady Mary Josephine (née Crawley) [note that upon marrying Henry, she'd probably change her name to "Lady Mary Talbot" but she is never referred to as such in S6CS] Other family members mentioned: Henry’s mother/Lady Shackleton’s sister, Henry's uncle the bishop See also the Shackletons

Tapsell, Sir Phillip Taylor Taylor, Mrs. Taylor, Mr. (a tenant at the S4E1 luncheon, no relation) The Tenbys Thawley, Sam Thompson (soldier in Matthew's unit, possibly dead) Thompson (doctor that performs abortions - at least that's the name on the bell) Tonkins, Mrs (Sir Michael Reresby's housekeeper)

The Townsends Townsend, Miss (the young daughter who is one of Mary's bridesmaids, cut line S3E1)

Travis, Reverend Albert Trent (tenant mentioned in S4E1) Trewin, Mr (schoolteacher who Molesley takes over for) Trader (from S3E1 cut Dublin scene) The Tripps (family that live in a cottage on the estate, neighbors to the Bateses) Truro, Duchess of and her three daughters (doesn't seem to be real) Tucker (tenant farmer? Mentioned S3E8) Tufton, Jos

Turnbull, Dr Edward Turnbull, Sir John (d.) [this is Isobel’s brother and father per the S1 script book] Other family mentioned: Isobel’s cousin Turner, Mr.

V Vane-Tempest-Stewart, Lady Edith, Marchioness of Londonderry [always referred to as Lady Londonderry, real person] Vyner, Inspector (S5 inspector)

W Wakefield (soldier in Matthew's unit, possibly dead) Wales, Prince of (became Edward VIII, was David back then) Ward MP, John (real person) Warrick, Lady (also "The Warricks") Watson, Mr (valet before Bates; name from cut lines S1E1) Watson, Mrs [no relation] Wavell, Mr (seen from a distance) Weaver [Lady A's chauffeur] West, Nanny

Wigan, Mrs (appears in S1 and S4 as "Postmaster's wife"; gained a name in S5) Wigan, Mr (credited in S1E1's one scene as "Postmaster")

Wilhelm, Kaiser (Sir Anthony met him) Willis, Sgt. (S5 & 6 policeman) Wilson, Lady Sarah (née Churchill) (real life female war correspondent) Wimborne, Lady Woolf, Virgina (real life author) Woolton, the Earl and Countess of (S5E5 cocktail party guest) Wren, Lady Wright, Corporal (soldier in Matthew's unit, probably d.) Wurkett, Ted (soldier who first comes to Crawley house, name is from the script book) Y Yardley, Mrs (the cook when Robert was a kid) Yeovil, Duchess of Yeovil, Duke of (d.)

#downton abbey #resources

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chocolatequeennk · 8 years ago

Text

Forever and Never Apart, 25/42

Summary: After taking a year to recover from the Master, the Doctor and Rose are ready to travel again. But Time keeps pushing them forward, and instead of going back to their old life, they slowly realise that they’re stepping into a new life. Friends new and old are meeting on the TARDIS, and when the stars start going out, the Doctor and Rose face the biggest change of all: the return of Bad Wolf.

Series 4 with Rose, part 7 of Being to Timelessness; sequel to Taking Time (AO3 | FF.NET | TSP)

Betaed by @lastbluetardis, @rudennotgingr, @jabber-who-key, and @pellaaearien. Thank you so much!

We are finally to the Library, which gets a major rewrite. And that means this is still a prompt fill for @doctorroseprompts–imagine Doomsday didn’t happen, and rewrite one S3/S4 episode or scene.

AO3 | FF.NET | TSP

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20 | Ch 21 | Ch 22 | Ch 23 | Ch 24

Chapter Twenty-five: Donna and Jenny Have Been Saved

Jenny knew as soon as her dad hit the teleport button that something had gone wrong. Even as she caught a quick glance of the TARDIS console room, she felt a tug, like something had grabbed a hold of her and wasn’t going to let her into the ship. She heard Donna scream as she gritted her teeth against the sensation, and she hoped that either Donna had made it to the TARDIS, or that they’d be together, wherever they were going.

Ten seconds later, her eyes blinked open in a large, airy bedroom painted in soothing pastels. She looked down at herself, and instead of being dressed in her own jeans and t-shirt, she was wearing flannel pyjamas.

What is going on? How did I get undressed and where am I?

Jenny took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing on the telepathic presence of her father and Rose. They were still there in her mind, just like they should be.

Her dad had told her that if she were ever abducted or lost, she should reach out for him and Rose so they could start looking for her. When she’d asked the first question to come to mind—rather practical she thought, to wonder if it was possible to block telepathy—deep, remembered pain had echoed in her mind from both of them.

She’d quickly gathered that while it was possible, most people wouldn’t have the means or knowledge to do so. And lying in this strange bed, it only took her a moment to find their telepathic signatures and ask them to find her.

The heavy wooden door swung open, and Jenny jumped to her feet as a tall, bald, black man entered the room. She scanned him quickly, taking in the crisp white shirt and the placid smile on his face. His non-threatening posture did nothing to reassure Jenny, since, as far as she could tell, this perfect stranger had yanked her away from the safety of her home.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Who are you, and how did you bring Donna and me here? Where’s the rest of my family?”

Brown eyes blinked behind rimless glasses. “I’m Doctor Moon. I’ve been treating you and your Aunt Donna since you came here.” He tilted his head. “What do you remember, Jenny?”

Jenny drew herself up and wished she had her boots on—they would have added a few inches to her petite size. She copied the way Rose would tilt her head back when people dared condescend to her and reached for the confident tone of voice her dad always managed.

“My name is Jenny Tyler. My dad and mum are the Doctor and Rose Tyler. We live on the TARDIS with our friend Donna.”

Doctor Moon circled her as she talked. “Interesting,” he mused quietly. “Integration seems to have failed entirely with you. I’ll have to try again.”

He walked back to the door and smiled at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jenny.”

Jenny shook her head slowly after he left, trying to understand what had just happened. Integration?

She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she was in a cafeteria. Doctor Moon sat across the table from her. “Hello, Jenny. I’m glad you could join me for coffee today. Are you feeling better than you were yesterday?”

Jenny stared at him. “That was less than a minute ago, Doctor Moon. You left my room, I blinked, and then we were here.”

Doctor Moon pursed his lips. “No, Jenny. You’ve forgotten the last twenty-four hours. That’s a symptom of the trauma you received.” He gestured at her. “Look, you’re even wearing different clothes.”

Jenny glanced down and realised her hospital issue pyjamas had changed from red to blue-and-white plaid. She raised an eyebrow—she knew there was no way she’d been in the hospital for more than ten minutes.

“Can I see Donna?” she asked, ignoring his lie. “You said she was in a room like mine. I’d like to see her.”

The doctor shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t allow that, not when your mind is still so affected by your accident. Your Aunt Donna has had some false memories as well, and if the two of you met right now, you would only reinforce the fiction your damaged minds are trying to create.”

Jenny could feel her forehead scrunch up in a frown. “I’d really like to see her,” she pressed.

Doctor Moon smiled regretfully. “When you’re feeling better, we’ll see what we can arrange.” He looked down at the watch strapped to his wrist. “I’m afraid I need to cut today’s meeting short. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.”

Jenny watched him stand up and walk away, then she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she wasn’t surprised to find herself walking with the doctor across a plush lawn. A surreptitious look at herself revealed she was finally dressed in normal clothes, instead of pyjamas.

Her first instinct was to ask how they’d gotten outside, but then she remembered what Doctor Moon had said. If she wanted to make sure Donna was all right, she had to pretend to buy into the lie.

“It’s a lovely day for a walk,” she said, not commenting on the time or location at all.

She felt Doctor Moon looking at her, but she kept a smile on her face as she looked up at the sky. The sun didn’t even feel warm. How did they expect people to believe this was real?

“Have you had any more dreams?” he prodded. “About the Doctor and Rose, and the blue box you flew in through time and space?”

Jenny’s temper flared at the casual, condescending way he referred to her entire life. But she reminded herself that the goal today was to see Donna, and she shook her head. “No, Doctor Moon,” she said—and it wasn’t a lie. She hadn’t even slept, so how could she have dreamt?

Doctor Moon smiled. “It is a lovely day,” he agreed. “I’ve asked a nurse to bring Donna out, if you would like to talk to her.”

Jenny swung her gaze around to look at the doctor. “Yes, please!”

A second later, they were on the patio, sitting at a table sipping tea. Donna reached across the table and grabbed Jenny’s free hand. “I’m so glad you’re all right, Jenny,” she said. “This lot wouldn’t tell me anything about you, except that your head injury was worse than mine and it was taking you time to heal.”

It was hard to smile when Jenny knew Donna didn’t really know who she was, but somehow she managed it. “I’m doing so much better,” she promised Donna.

“As soon as they let us out of here, we’ll get a place together,” Donna promised her.

“I’d like that,” Jenny managed to say. She wanted to grab Donna and shake her until she remembered their real life on the TARDIS with the Doctor and Rose and all the running, but she just smiled instead.

“Donna,” Doctor Moon said, “would you like to go for a walk down to the river with me?”

Donna smiled beatifically and stood up. Then she looked at Doctor Moon, now wearing an overcoat and holding a bag of bread crumbs while ducks quacked noisily.

A steady breeze came off the water and they sun had slipped behind the clouds. Donna looked around, fighting her disorientation. “You said river, and suddenly we’re feeding ducks.” There was something not right, but she just… couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Doctor Moon. Morning.”

Donna turned and suddenly felt a little breathless when she spotted a man who was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome walking towards them carrying fishing gear. And he’s got some meat on him, too, she thought, admiring his solid physique. Unlike that skinny bloke… She closed her eyes quickly and shoved the errant thought of the Doctor into the back of her mind before Doctor Moon could pick up on it.

“Donna Noble, Lee McAvoy.” Doctor Moon smirked, then moved off to the side.

Donna smiled at the newcomer. “Hello, Lee.”

His eyes were warm when he smiled at her. “Hello, D, D, D…”

“Ooo, you’ve got bit of a stammer there.” She looked over at Doctor Moon. “Bless.”

“D, D,” Lee persisted.

Donna waved the attempts away with a hand. “Oh, skip to a vowel. They’re easy.”

What felt like just a second later, she was back on the hospital grounds with Doctor Moon. The sun had come back out, but it was still cold enough that she was comfortable in her winter coat.

Donna bit her lip as she looked up at the doctor. She thought she liked Lee, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember anything about the rest of the afternoon.

“How did we leave it, him and me?

Doctor Moon smirked again. “I got the impression he was inviting you fishing tomorrow.”

oOoOoOoOo

The next twenty-five minutes were a nightmare and a headache for Jenny, as she watched Donna progress rapidly through her relationship with Lee McAvoy. Jenny had no real objections to Lee—he seemed perfectly nice—but was he even real? What if she and Donna got out of wherever they were, and Donna had fallen in love with someone who didn’t even exist?

But she couldn’t say a thing to warn Donna—Aunt Donna, she reminded herself—or she’d be back in the hospital faster than you could say… well, most things.

Jenny looked around at the cosy bungalow she’d moved into sometime around minute eighteen in this strange, pocket universe. Her act had successfully fooled Doctor Moon, and he had declared her fully integrated and stopped visiting her, thankfully. It was harder than she’d thought to continue pretending in front of him.

Pretending was how she was allowed to be part of Donna’s life, though, and that let her offer some kind of protection, at least. Today, she was supposed to be going to Lee and Donna’s wedding, but she knew there wasn’t any reason for her to try to get ready, because in just a minute…

The pew was hard against her back and the pale blue dress didn’t fit well. But despite her discomfort and misgivings, it was almost impossible not to be happy for Lee and Donna as they ran up the aisle together.

Twenty minutes or eight years later, Jenny was sitting in her own garden, listening to the shouts of Donna’s children echoing over the wall. She pressed a hand to her forehead; how had this gotten so out of control?

Suddenly, she realised there was another person in her garden—a tall, veiled woman dressed all in black. Jenny jumped up and pressed her back to the wall. “Who are you?”

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Jenny Tyler,” the woman said, and the voice was familiar. “You are not like anyone else who has been in this computer simulation.”

“Is that what it is, then?” Jenny looked around, and it all made sense. Everything was perfect. The computer could program them to skip time, and then Doctor Moon would fill in the gaps of what had happened with his narrative explanation.

“Yes. You are in the central computer of the Library. You remember the Library, don’t you, Jenny?”

Jenny pressed her lips together to withhold a sob. Even though less than an hour had passed since her dad had activated the teleport, sometimes it really did feel like she’d been trapped here for nine years. Time is meaningless in the Vortex, Rose, she remembered her dad saying more than once. She didn’t really think this was what he’d meant.

So after being trapped in a bizarre virtual reality for an hour, hearing someone else talk about the real world was almost more than she could handle. But the other woman was waiting for an answer, so she nodded. “Who are you?” she asked.

The woman tilted her head. “I think you know the answer to that, if you really think.”

Jenny stared at her, trying to place the voice. She’d heard that voice before… she’d heard that voice dying, she realised suddenly.

“Miss Evangelista!” she gasped.

“Yes, or at least, I am what’s left of her,” the woman said.

Jenny frowned and started to ask what exactly she meant by that. But then the air next to her flickered, and she watched a figure appear out of thin air—a figure she knew very well.

“Dad!”

He had his head bent down so he could listen to the sonic, but when he heard her voice, he looked straight at her. “Jenny!”

She held out a hand and he ran towards her, but he disappeared before he reached her. Staring at the blank space where her father had been just a moment before, Jenny swallowed hard.

“How can we get out of here?” she asked Miss Evangelista.

oOoOoOoOo

After Rose reminded Melody of the squareness gun, she used it on every wall they came to. The Doctor crossed his fingers that it wouldn’t run out of battery power, though she didn’t seem to having the problem Jack did.

Finally, they reached a room with a large open space under the skylight, giving them plenty of light. “Okay, we’ve got a clear spot,” Melody announced, motioning for everyone to pile into the room.

The Doctor immediately let go of Rose’s hand and slid down to the floor, pointing the sonic at the shadows.

“In, in, in!” Melody continued. “Right in the centre. In the middle of the light, quickly. Don’t let your shadows cross. Doctor.”

“On it,” he replied, scanning for Vashta Nerada.

“There’s no lights here,” Melody said, pointing out what he’d noticed as soon as they entered the room. “Sunset’s coming. We can’t stay long.” The sonic flickered. “Have you found a live one?”

“Maybe. It’s getting harder to tell.” He tapped the sonic against his hand and scanned again. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked his tool.

Melody stood up and spun around. “We’re going to need a chicken leg. Who’s got a chicken leg? Thanks, Dave.”

A moment later, the Doctor watched a chicken leg fly through the air and hit the ground as only a bone.

“Okay,” Melody said as she stumbled backwards. “Okay, we’ve got a hot one. Watch your feet.”

“They won’t attack until there’s enough of them,” the Doctor said, brushing off her concern. “But they’ve got our scent now. They’re coming.”

You’re being rude, Rose told him gently as she rubbed his shoulders.

Behind their backs, both of Melody’s assistants were peppering her with questions—questions about them.

“So who are they?” Other Dave asked. “A group of people we’ve never met show up on our expedition, and we’re just supposed to trust them?”

“That’s the Doctor and Rose Tyler,” Melody said. “And yeah, you’re supposed to trust them.”

The Doctor stared into the shadows as he shamelessly eavesdropped on the conversation between Melody Pond and her team. I’m being rude? At least I’m not talking about her where she can hear me.

Only ‘cause she’s not telepathic, Rose retorted, and he glanced up to see her teasing grin.

The results from the sonic screwdriver were getting spottier. The Doctor tried pulsing the button to see if that would help while Mr. Lux asked Melody who he and Rose were.

Oh, I feel so hurt that Mr. Lux isn’t impressed by our credentials, Rose snarked.

“The only people I’d want with me in a life-and-death situation,” Melody shot back. “Trust me, there’s a reason I asked them to meet us here. If there’s anyone who can get us out of here alive, it’s them.”

The Doctor knew Rose was trying to make light of the situation, but as he watched Melody out of the corner of his eye, he couldn’t let it go. Listening to someone he’d never met talk about him and Rose as if she’d known them forever had been mildly curious before. Now that Donna and Jenny were gone because he’d followed this woman’s message to the Library, it was infuriating.

“You say they’re your friends, but they don’t even know who you are.”

The Doctor moved to the next set of shadows and nodded vigorously with Anita’s salient point. Exactly! They didn’t know who this woman was, so how could they trust her?

Melody looked up at him and shrugged when they made eye contact. She didn’t even look surprised that he was listening in. “Listen, all you need to know is this. I’d trust those two to the end of the universe.”

Really? the Doctor thought sarcastically. And have you been to the end of the universe? Because I have, and you weren’t there.

Stop snarking at Melody Pond and focus on finding Donna and Jenny, Rose ordered sharply, clearly tired of his sour disposition.

The Doctor shuffled over to the next set of shadows, but he didn’t get any better results there. I’m trying, but something’s interfering with the sonic.

“The Doctor doesn’t act like he trusts you,” Anita said astutely. “Rose might, but I don’t think he does.”

Melody tucked a strand of straight, brown hair back behind her ear. “Yeah, there’s a tiny problem. They haven’t met me yet, and the Doctor is extremely protective of his family.”

“What about Rose?” Anita asked.

They heard a smile in Melody’s voice when she answered. “Rose is extremely protective of the Doctor.”

You have to admit she’s right about that, Rose told him as she traded screwdrivers with him. They both heard Melody walk towards them, but ignored her while the Doctor tried Rose’s sonic on the shadows. To their consternation, her screwdriver seemed to be having the exact same problem.

“What’s wrong with it?” Melody asked.

The Doctor ignored her, tapping the screwdriver lightly and tried it again, but the violet diode only flickered briefly.

Rose sighed and looked at Melody. “There’s a signal coming from somewhere, interfering with it.”

Melody nodded once. “Then use the red settings.”

The Doctor’s gaze flicked over to her, then he went back to fiddling with Rose’s sonic. “It doesn’t have a red setting.”

“Well, use the dampers,” she said as she took her gloves off.

“It doesn’t have dampers.” The Doctor was already disinclined to be civil towards this woman who claimed to be from their future, and the way that she was now pretending to know everything about his sonic screwdriver, the tool he had designed and perfected over the years, grated.

She pulled the sonic screwdriver she’d used earlier out of her pocket. The diode that had been blue now looked red. “Hmmm. I guess mine has a few extra features then,” she said.

The Doctor snatched it from her hands and stood up. “So, some time in the future, I just give you my screwdriver.”

She snatched it back. “No. At some point in the future, you give me my own screwdriver.”

He rocked back on his heels and glared at her. “Why would I do that?”

“Present when I graduated from uni,” she said breezily. A hint of nostalgia entered her voice, but her smile was still smug, like she knew something they didn’t. “I’d always wanted one, but I’d never dared to ask. And then you came up to me, just the two of you, and said you had a special gift for me.” She arched an eyebrow. “I guess this is when I told you I wanted a sonic screwdriver.” A smirk crossed her face. “You know, if you’d told me before that this was what you meant when you said time travel had its up sides, I might have been more interested.”

The Doctor’s agitation washed over Rose, and combined with her own worry for Jenny and Donna, her temper sparked. She stepped in between the Doctor and Melody, standing with her feet shoulder width apart and her arms crossed over her chest.

“Oi! Leave ‘im alone!” The Doctor put a hand on her arm, and Rose took a deep breath but didn’t back down. “You just told Anita and Other Dave that I’m protective of the Doctor, and now you’re teasing him for your own amusement when you can tell how upset he is?”

Melody opened and closed her mouth, then shook her head.

Rose sighed, and some of her anger drained out of her. “I know you’re upset and stressed and this has got to be difficult for you, when you were thinking you’d get the versions of us that you know. But we just lost our daughter and our friend.” Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard. “Neither of us are in the mood for jokes right now.”

The smirk disappeared from Melody’s face. “You’re right. I’m sorry, both of you.” She smiled wryly at Rose. “I’ve never been on the receiving end of one of your protective tirades. Think I’ll try to avoid it happening again.” She blinked rapidly as she turned back around to the rest of her expedition crew.

There was a short, awkward pause, then the Doctor held up Rose’s screwdriver. “Know what’s interesting about our screwdrivers?” he asked as he started walking in circles around the group. “Very hard to interfere with. Practically nothing’s strong enough. Well, some hairdryers,” he allowed as he looked up at the skylight. “But I’m working on that. So there is a very strong signal coming from somewhere, and it wasn’t there before. So what’s new? What’s changed?”

“The moon is up,” Rose said immediately. “I noticed it when I looked through the skylight when we walked into this room. There wasn’t a moon in the sky before, and now there is.”

The Doctor spun around and bounced on his toes. “Oh, very good, Rose!” He turned and looked at Mr. Lux. “Tell me about the moon. What’s there?”

The company president shook his head. “It’s not real. It was built as part of the Library. It’s just a doctor moon.”

“What’s a doctor moon?” he pressed.

“A virus checker,” Mr. Lux explained. “It supports and maintains the main computer at the core of the planet.”

“So it’s there to make sure that CAL is safe,” the Doctor mused. Now that he knew what to look for, he could scan for a connection between the planet and the moon. Unlike his attempts to scan for Vashta Nerada, that worked almost immediately.

“Well, still active. It’s signalling. Look.” The sonic’s steady buzz pulsed slightly as it picked up the signal from the moon. “Someone somewhere in this library is alive and communicating with the moon. Or, possibly alive and drying their hair.” The Doctor put his screwdriver to his ear, listening to the signal. “No, the signal is definitely coming from the moon. I’m blocking it, but it’s trying to break through.”

He twisted the top of the screwdriver and heard a funny pop, then a very familiar voice called out, “Dad!”

The Doctor looked up up, and his throat caught when he saw a flickering projection of his daughter. “Jenny!” he called back, pushing her name past the lump in his throat. He ran towards the projection, but it disappeared just as he reached it.

He stared at the blank spot, blinking back tears. A moment later, Rose wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. She’s there, love, one of them said, though he couldn’t tell right now if the thought was his or hers. Jenny’s there, and she’s fine.

Rose pulled back and wiped tears from her eyes. “Can you get her back?” she whispered hoarsely.

“I can try,” the Doctor said, his voice thick. His hands were shaking when he raised the sonic to his ear, but they were steady enough to adjust the settings, trying to lock onto the frequency coming from the moon. Please, let me see Jenny again, he pleaded with the universe.

But it seemed like the universe wasn’t listening. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t interfere with the signal between the doctor moon and the planet.

He growled and tapped the sonic on the heel of his hand. “I’m being blocked!”

“Doctor Pond?” Anita said, a tremble in her soft voice.

“Just a moment,” Melody replied. The Doctor heard the buzzing from her screwdriver and realised she was trying to locate Jenny, too.

“It’s important,” Anita insisted. “I have two shadows.”

The Doctor’s stomach fell when he spun around and saw that the young archaeologist did indeed have two shadows.

“Okay.” Melody took charge. “Helmets on, everyone. Anita, I’ll get yours.”

“It didn’t do Proper Dave any good,” Anita pointed out practically.

Melody shook her head. “Just keep it together, okay?”

Anita rolled her eyes and snorted. “Keeping it together. I’m only crying. I’m about to die. It’s not an overreaction.”

No one could argue with that, so Melody was silent as she put the helmet on the scared woman and did up the seal.

“Hang on.” Using the sonic, the Doctor turned the filter on the visor all the way up, making it black.

Melody gasped. “Oh God, they’ve got inside.”

“No, he just tinted her visor, Melody,” Rose explained. “But why, Doctor?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, I thought maybe they’ll think they’re already in there, leave her alone.”

“Do you think they can be fooled like that?” Melody pressed.

The Doctor pressed his lips into a thin line. The constant questioning was grating on his nerves. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s a swarm. It’s not like we chat.”

“Can you still see in there?” Other Dave asked.

Anita nodded. “Just about.”

When the Doctor turned around to look at Other Dave, he noticed something they’d all missed. A seventh figure, standing in the shadows.

Other Dave and Mr. Lux both took a step forward, and the Doctor waved his hand for them to stay still. The last thing they needed was for the shadows to cross, spreading the infestation.

“Just, just, just stay back.” Then he took Rose’s hand and looked at Melody. “Rose, Melody. Could I have a word, please?”

Both women frowned, but nodded, and they took three steps away from Anita, careful to stay in the light.

The Doctor lowered his voice. “All right, both of you. Without being obvious, I need you to take a quick head count.”

He watched them casually glance around the room before they looked back at him. “Seven,” they whispered in unison.

“Right. That’s the three of us, Anita, Other Dave, Mr. Lux, and…”

Their eyes widened.

“Hey, who turned out the lights?”

“Run!” the Doctor ordered, and the six still-living people raced out of the room, chased by the form of Proper Dave.

oOoOoOoOo

The Doctor led the group to the stairs, thinking they might be harder for the swarm in a suit to navigate. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, keeping them safe from other shadows as they climbed over two dozen flights.

Finally, they reached a floor that indicated a skybridge could be found on this level. “This way,” he said in a low voice, straining his ears for the shuffle-clomp of the Vashta Nerada, several storeys below them.

They ran through the sky bridge from one skyscraper to another. The Doctor slammed the heavy wooden doors shut behind them and hustled everyone towards the stairs, but some twinge of curiosity caught Rose’s attention, and she stopped and looked at him while Mr. Lux and Anita ran on.

His eyes were bright with anger and curiosity as he stared back at the closed doors. It only took a moment for Rose to figure out what he wanted to do.

She looked at Melody, who’d slowed down when they’d stopped. “Keep running. We’ll be right behind you.” Melody looked hesitantly at the two of them, then nodded sharply. “Mr. Lux, Anita, Other Dave—stay with me,” she barked, then ran for the door marked ‘Stairwell.’

From behind them, the shuffling noise of the swarm-in-a-spacesuit got louder, and Rose mentally counted off the minute or so she reckoned they could stay there safely.

“Rose…”

She cut him off with her hand held up. “No. I sent them away because every second counts. But you’re not going to stay here with that… You said the only thing to do with Vashta Nerada was to run, Doctor.”

“I know, but…” He looked at her, then back at the doors, just as they burst open. “Why did they come to the Library to hunt?”

“Hey, who turned out the lights?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Does it matter?” she asked. “Would finding out how they got here and why get us any closer to the TARDIS? Would it help us find Jenny and Donna?” She held out her hand for the Doctor, and he took it. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“Hey, who turned out the lights?”

The Doctor looked over his shoulder at the Vashta Nerada, just crossing the threshold of the room. Rose’s heart stopped until he looked back at her, and she could see the decision in his eyes. She let out a slow breath when he took her hand.

“Thank you.”

With the Doctor’s hand in hers, they raced down the stairs. “I’m still curious about where they came from, but you were right,” the Doctor admitted as they ran. “It wouldn’t make a difference in the end.”

Rose squeezed his hand. “I’m curious too,” she panted as they turned a corner. “But I’d rather spend our time finding Jenny and Donna and getting the hell out of here.”

The Doctor snorted. “Right you are.”

They both looked out the window as they reached the ground floor of the building. The sun had very nearly set by now, which would make it almost impossible to avoid the shadows.

“I don’t know how we’re going to make it out of this,” the Doctor admitted finally.

Rose pulled him to a stop. “Don’t,” she said sharply. “Don’t talk about giving up, not…” She took a deep breath and smiled up at him. “Have you forgotten, Doctor? We’re the stuff of legend.”

It was all bravado, and they both knew it. There was a significant likelihood that they would not make it out of this adventure alive. The possibility of regenerating teased the edges of Rose’s mind, but she could tell by the level of the Doctor’s fear that it probably wouldn’t be possible if they were consumed by Vashta Nerada.

She shook her head and rested her hands on his elbows. “We are going to rendezvous with Melody and her team, we’re going to find Jenny and Donna, and we are going to make it home,” she said firmly. “That’s the only conclusion to this day that I will accept. All right?”

The Doctor smiled, then pulled her close. “And I reckon even the Vashta Nerada don’t dare thwart your wishes,” he said, his voice muffled by her hair.

Rose nodded. “Exactly. Now, are you ready to find Melody?”

He kissed her quickly, then took her hand. “Oh, I’m ready.”

oOoOoOoOo

They found Melody, Anita, Other Dave, and Mr. Lux back in the main circulation area, where he had first explained the Vashta Nerada only a few hours before. Melody was crouched on the floor, using her sonic screwdriver to scan the Library seal in the middle of the floor.

None of them heard the Doctor and Rose enter the room silently from the mezzanine level, so the Doctor took advantage of the moment to shamelessly eavesdrop.

“You know, it’s funny,” Melody said as she checked the results of her scan. “I keep wishing the Doctor and Rose were here.”

“The Doctor and Rose are here, aren’t they?” Anita said. “They are coming back, right?”

Melody sighed and pushed herself to her feet. “You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it’s from years before you knew them. And even though it’s them, there’s something just… missing. A familiarity that isn’t there yet.”

Rose squeezed the Doctor’s hand. Like meeting your first incarnation, she told him. It was the first time meeting you since meeting you the first time when you looked at me without knowing me.

Down below, Melody continued her explanation. “Well, yes, the Doctor and Rose are here. They came when I called, just like they always do.”

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and filed that piece of information away.

“But they aren’t the Doctor and Rose who pick me up every year for Christmas. Last year, we had dinner at the Tylers’, but they don’t know that Jackie spiked the punch with ginger ‘because it just isn’t fair that himself doesn’t get drunk like the rest of us.’” Anita laughed, and Melody nodded. “You see what I mean? They’re here… but they aren’t.”

Rose’s hand had tightened around his at the mention of her family, and the Doctor pulled her close. “Spoilers,” he warned, unable to keep the bite out of his voice. If Melody wasn’t who she said she was… if she was just playing them and she’d just given Rose false hope of seeing her mother again…

Rose reached up and stroked his jaw. Don’t get so upset before we know, she chided. You can be my protector later, if it’s necessary.

Melody’s expression was stricken, though, and for the first time, the Doctor really believed she was who she claimed to be. “How much did you hear?” she whispered.

Her guilt was obvious, and now that he’d allowed the possibility that she truly was someone from their future, he could more fully appreciate how difficult this would be for her. Meeting someone you obviously knew very well before they had even met you was a tricky tightrope to walk, and he’d clearly impressed upon the young woman the importance of maintaining the timelines.

Impulsively, he jogged down the stairs and pulled her in for a reassuring hug. “It’s fine, Melody,” he promised. “A little foreknowledge won’t damage the timelines.”

She drew a shaky breath and looked up at him. “Yeah?”

“Yep! And I’ll let Jackie get me drunk, even though I know it’s going to happen.”

Melody rolled her eyes and shoved him away from her, and he knew everything was going to be fine.

He turned and looked at the rest of the group—Mr. Lux and Other Dave, looking scared as they hovered awkwardly in the space between the shadows and Anita, who still had two shadows.

“How are you doing?” he asked her as he walked over to her.

“Still alive,” she said, a hint of defiance in her voice. “But Doctor. Proper Dave only lasted what, five minutes after they latched onto him? How come they haven’t taken me yet?”

“I don’t know.” The Doctor looked at her two shadows. “Maybe tinting your visor’s making a difference.”

Anita snorted softly. “It’s making a difference all right. No one’s ever going to see my face again.”

Her grim pragmatism made him wish he could do something for her, and despite the fact that he really couldn’t, he found himself asking, “Can I get you anything?”

“An old age would be nice,” she quipped, and her brave wit in the face of death made this hurt even more. “Anything you can do?”

The Doctor nodded, even though she couldn’t really see him. “I’m all over it,” he promised. If there was any way he could persuade the Vashta Nerada to let go of Anita, he would do it.

“Look at us,” Rose said, and he silently thanked her for changing the subject. “Six of us, still safe after running from the Vashta Nerada for two hours.”

The Doctor grinned and stuck his hands into his pockets. “Yep, still safe…” He lingered on the word. It felt significant, and he quickly filtered through his memory of all the times in the last two hours that he’d heard the word “safe” or any variations of it.

“What is it, Doctor?” Melody asked.

“Safe.” As he repeated the word, the thought finally unlocked. “You don’t say saved,” he explained, his mind still working out the ramifications of his realisation as he talked. “Nobody says saved. You say safe.” He spun to point at Mr. Lux. “The data fragment! What did it say?”

“Four thousand and twenty-two people saved. No survivors.”

“Doctor?” Rose asked.

“Oh, it’s been staring us in the face, Rose!” He grabbed her and spun her around. “Because people don’t get saved, not unless you’re talking about the preachers on street corners. But computers—computers save things. And that’s what it did. It saved them.”

oOoOoOoOo

Something about the world was wrong. Donna usually managed to shove that faint awareness into the back of her mind, but a moment ago, when she’d been talking to Doctor Moon, it had flared to life for just a few seconds.

Now, as she made tea for her guest, she felt like she’d forgotten something really important. It felt like she’d had it, just for a second, and then it had been lost again.

She sighed when the tea was done and shrugged her shoulders. I’m not going to figure it out by standing in the kitchen, she told herself as she picked up the cups and walked back to the living room.

“Here we are, Doctor Moon.”

Donna’s smile faded into a confused frown when the doctor was nowhere to be seen. Ella and Joshua ran through the room, and she held the teacups up to keep them from getting bumped into.

“Mummy, I made you!” Ella held up a thick body made of plasticine with two arms, two legs, and no face.

“Oh, that’s nice, Ella,” Donna said. She was determined to praise her daughter’s artistic endeavours, rather than belittling them like her own mother had. But… “Where’s the face?” she couldn’t help but ask.

Ella looked down at the doll and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Donna sighed and carefully bent over to put the teacups down on the coffee table. “Did you see Doctor Moon? Did he leave?”

Before Ella could answer, the door swung open and Lee stepped inside, wearing his regular suit and carrying a briefcase. The kids went crazy, calling his name and running to him, and for the briefest moment, Donna thought that the timing of his arrival was certainly convenient, the way it interrupted any answer Ella might have given her.

That cynical thought disappeared when she watched her husband set his briefcase down and open his arms to their children. “Hey! Hello, you two. Come here. Big hugs. Big Daddy hugs.”

“Look what I made.” Ella held up her doll.

“Oh.” Lee looked at it, then glanced at Donna, his eyes dancing. “It’s Mummy.”

“Uh, it hasn’t got a face,” Donna pointed out again. There was something off-putting about the idea of her face being… taken, and try as she might, she couldn’t let it go. “Did you see Doctor Moon?” she asked, wanting to change the subject.

“No. Why, was he here?” asked Lee.

“Yeah, just a second ago.” Donna walked over to the window. “You must have passed him.”

She pulled the curtains back, expecting to see the tall figure of Doctor Moon, maybe disappearing around the corner. Instead, she spotted a flash of black lace as what looked like a veiled woman in a long, black dress walking behind a tree.

“You all right?”

Lee sounded a little worried now, and despite Donna’s growing feeling that something was wrong, her reassurance was automatic.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” she said as the last of the woman’s train disappeared. “It’s just…”

“Just?” Lee murmured in her ear.

The quiet neighbourhood Donna had always loved suddenly seemed eerie. Wind blew clouds in, and the sun slanted in at the wrong angle for the time of day. Even the birds were quiet.

Donna sighed and shook her head. “Nothing.” She turned around and wrapped her arms around her husband. “It’s been a long day, that’s all.” She pulled back and smiled up at him. “I’m just tired.”

She blinked, and she and Lee were in their bedroom, dressed for bed. The feeling that the world was wrong strengthened, and she shook her head, hoping to either get rid of it, or get more insight into why it seemed so wrong.

Lee put his hand on her arm. “You okay?”

Donna felt a hint of panic welling up inside her as she tried to remember exactly what they’d done for the evening. She hadn’t had this many problems with her memory since she’d been released from the hospital, and the idea that she might have to go back terrified her.

“I said I was tired,” she began slowly, trying to remember what had happened next. “And, and… we put the kids to bed, and we watched television.” The memories came as she talked, and the knot of tension in her stomach had eased by the time she finished.

Lee smiled at her, and Donna was just about to suggest they get into bed when they heard the distinctive sound of the mail slot being pushed open.

Donna looked over her shoulder at their open bedroom door, then back at Lee. “Was that a letter?” she asked.

Lee shook his head. “It’s midnight.”

Donna pushed him gently towards the bedroom door. “Go and see what it is,” she requested urgently.

He sighed, but left the room, patting her shoulder reassuringly on his way by. After he was gone, Donna stared at the red accent wall behind their bed for a moment, wondering yet again what had led her to paint it that way. It had felt familiar and right, somehow.

She shook the thought off and wandered over to the window. If someone had dropped a letter in the slot, maybe she could catch a glimpse of them as they walked away.

The flash of lace was familiar. This definitely seemed like the dress she’d seen earlier in the afternoon, though this time, she caught a much better glimpse of it, enough to see that it was a Victorian gown, with a bustle and train.

“The world is wrong.”

Donna’s skin tingled when she heard the words she’d been thinking from Lee’s lips. She dropped the curtain and looked back at him.

“What?”

He held up a letter. “For you. Weird, though,” he added, raising his eyebrows before reading the entire note. “‘Dear Donna, the world is wrong. Meet me at your usual play park, two o’clock tomorrow.’”

Donna looked out the window again, and Lee wrapped his arms around her waist and looked over her shoulder as they watched the woman in black walk away.

“Nutter,” she muttered, earning a laugh from Lee.

Still… the world was wrong, and despite the tremor of foreboding she felt when she considered what the woman might have to say, Donna needed to know if she actually knew something, or if she just liked dropping notes in letterboxes at half twelve at night.

The rest of the night and the morning passed in an instant, and the next thing Donna knew, she was walking hand in hand with Ella and Joshua to the big park down the road. She brushed off the part of her that wondered when she’d decided what to wear, and if she’d had coffee or tea with her breakfast, and even how she and the kids had gotten to the park. Those weren’t important questions.

She spotted a woman dressed in full Victorian mourning, completely with veil, sitting on a weathered park bench. Donna took a deep breath and nodded once, then looked down at her kids.

“All right, you two, off you go,” she told them. “No fighting,” she added as they raced off to play with the other kids.

She watched for a moment, and when she was satisfied they were having fun, she turned back to the woman and slowly circled the playground equipment until she was able to sit down beside her.

“I got your note last night.” It was cold enough that Donna could see her breath when she talked. “‘The world is wrong.’ What’s that mean?”

“No, you didn’t,” the woman said.

Something about the voice sounded familiar, but Donna ignored it in favour of addressing the direct contradiction she’d just received.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You didn’t get my note last night,” the woman elaborated. “You got it a few seconds ago. Having decided to come, you suddenly found yourself arriving.”

Donna sucked in a breath, thinking about all the times she’d felt like time had just magically passed, all the times she’d had to struggle to remember how she’d gotten from one place to another.

The woman’s head tilted. “That is how time progresses here, in the manner of a dream. You’ve suspected that before, haven’t you, Donna Noble?”

She added emphasis to her name, but it wasn’t necessary. Hearing someone she’d never met address her by name was enough of a shock.

“How do you know me?” Donna demanded. The world was wrong. This was all wrong.

“We met before, in the Library.” It was strange listening to someone talk when she couldn’t see their lips moving. “You were kind to me. I hope now to return that kindness.”

“Your voice. I recognise it.” Flashes of memory returned to Donna, moments Doctor Moon had told her were only dreams and hadn’t really happened. But this voice had been in those dreams, calling her the nice woman.

The woman turned slowly to look directly at her. “Yes, you do. I am what is left of Miss Evangelista.”

#ficandchips #ten x rose #dwfic #fic by Nancy #doctorroseprompts #cq's fic: forever and never apart #series: Being to Timelessness #drama and intrigue!#I really love the new things with Jenny in this chapter #I hope you do too!

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catherinedmccracken · 5 years ago

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June 2020 Learning Network Resources

Blogs, Issue Briefs, Opinion Pieces and More…

Study Examines Whether Blood Test Can Identify Early Cancers. National Cancer Institute. June 2020

“In the first study of its kind, a blood test combined with imaging tests detected tumors—some at an early stage—in women without a history of cancer or any symptoms. The blood test identified breast, lung, and colorectal cancers, for which there are recommended screening tests. But it also identified seven other cancer types for which no screening tests exist.”

OPTIMISE trial demonstrates safety of deprescribing for older adults. Lown Institute. May 2020.

“For frail older adults, taking several blood pressure medications can lead to dizziness, falls, and other adverse drug events, making this medication a potentially good one to deprescribe (discontinue or reduce the dose). However, clinicians or family members may avoid deprescribing a blood pressure medication because they fear that patients’ blood pressure will rise dangerously. For those who are uneasy about deprescribing hypertension medications for older adults, the OPTIMISE trial results may put their mind at ease.”

The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons Expands Choosing Wisely® List. Cision. May 2020

“The Academy’s Choosing Wisely list was expanded after careful consideration and review, using the most current evidence about management and treatment options. AAOS routinely develops evidence-based clinical guidelines and appropriate use criteria as valuable tools to advance the physician-patient communications process and enhance the diagnosis and treatment of musculoskeletal conditions. Each of the recommendations now included on the list came out of those clinical practice guidelines.”

Journals

Mostaghim M, et alt. Penicillin – getting prescribing right for children. Australian Prescriber. June 2020

“Evidence supporting optimal penicillin prescribing remains limited for children compared to adults. Dose recommendations available in the product information provide guidance which has often been superseded by regularly updated, evidence-based sources, such as Therapeutic Guidelines. Prescribers should have access to evidence and updated guidelines to make decisions for children. Cooperation between regulators, pharmaceutical companies and software vendors is needed to improve this and support appropriate use of penicillins and other antimicrobials in the community.”

Yamamoto JM. Thyroid function testing and management during and after pregnancy among women without thyroid disease before pregnancy. CMAJ. June 2020

“Current patterns of practice for TSH testing and management may contribute to overdiagnosis and overtreatment of women during pregnancy and post partum. Clinical practice guidelines are needed to give clinicians a stepwise approach, based on the best existing evidence, for deciding whether and when TSH testing should occur. Guidance is also needed as to when it is appropriate to initiate treatment in pregnancy and continue treatment in the postpartum period.”

Hilal T, et alt. Choosing Wisely® in Hematology: Have We Made a Difference? Health Economics. June 2020

“Decreasing overuse of resources is a cultural change in perspective for practitioners and patients alike. We believe that healthcare delivery is transitioning from being volume-based to value-based. As we continue to support the Choosing Wisely® campaign, we need to implement strategies to document and measure the influence of our value-based recommendations on physician practices, patient care and attitudes, and healthcare costs.”

Wang T, et alt. Deimplementation of the Choosing Wisely Recommendations for Low-Value Breast Cancer Surgery: A Systematic Review. JAMA Surgery. June 2020

“This review demonstrates variable deimplementation of 4 low-value surgical procedures in patients with breast cancer. Addressing specific patient-level, clinician-level, and system-level barriers to deimplementation is necessary to encourage shared decision-making and reduce overtreatment.”

Paltiel O. Limiting surveillance imaging for patients with lymphoma in remission: a mixed methods study leading to a Choosing Wisely recommendation. BMJ Quality & Safety. May 2020

“Prior to ratification of a local CW recommendation to limit surveillance imaging in lymphoma, we aimed to assess: (A) performance characteristics of surveillance FDG-PET/CT; (B) rates, clinical consequences and costs of false positives (FP); and (C) patients and professionals’ attitudes towards overuse. Acceptance of CW recommendations to limit overuse may be enhanced by quantitative data on consequences and costs of surveillance imaging, supplemented by qualitative data on patient and physician attitudes.”

Kansagra AP. Collateral Effect of Covid-19 on Stroke Evaluation in the United States. The New England Journal of Medicine. May 2020

“The decrease in the use of stroke imaging from the prepandemic epoch to the early-pandemic epoch was seen across all age, sex, and stroke severity subgroups (Table S1); this suggests a decrease in the number of evaluations both in patients with severe strokes and in nonelderly patients who may have been at low risk for Covid-19 complications. Decreases in the numbers of patients who underwent stroke imaging were seen in most states and across a range of hospital volumes (Fig. S3 and Table S2). These decreases suggest that differences in regional incidences of Covid-19 were not the primary cause of decreased use of stroke imaging.”

‘‘’Choosing Wisely’ in Breast Cancer Surgery: Drivers of Low Value Care.” Annals of Surgical Oncology. May 2020

“Ultimately, unnecessary care translates into high-cost, low-value treatment for our patients and the healthcare system. Incorporating evidence into practice is more likely when new findings align with provider’s clinical experience, multidisciplinary goals, stakeholder engagement at the level of professional communities, and support patient preferences and autonomy. As a surgical community, we are in continual pursuit to tailor treatment to our breast cancer patients while protecting them from unnecessary harm. Achieving these aims will likely require commitment and sustained effort to successfully tackle the facilitators of low-value cancer care and barriers to reducing its use.”

Watson JD, et alt. Aortic Aneurysm Screening Using Duplex Ultrasound – Choosing Wisely Who to Examine. Seminar in Vascular Surgery. May 2020

“The noninvasive vascular laboratory plays a critical role in screening patients at risk for abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) development. One-time duplex ultrasound screening reduces aneurysm-related mortality due to rupture and is cost-effective. Population screening based on AAA risk factors is recommend as it allows for proactive, elective repair of aneurysms at risk for rupture, and surveillance of smaller aneurysms for enlargement. Utilization of societal screening guidelines, such as those published by the Society for Vascular Surgery, can be employed by vascular laboratories to justify individual patient screening, aid primary care physicians to refer patients for testing, and encourage integrated medical health care systems to build prompts in patient electronic health records to ensure compliance with a AAA screening program.”

Zadro JR. Has physical therapists’ management of musculoskeletal conditions improved over time? Brazilian Journal of Physical Therapy. May 2020

“Possible explanations for this trend include the growing need for clinical innovation, challenge of keeping up to date with evidence, increased exposure to treatments of unknown value, belief that evidence is not relevant to practice, and possible limitations of the data. Strategies to help physical therapists replace non-recommended care with recommended care are discussed.”

Media Coverage

People Have Stopped Going to the Doctor. Most Seem Just Fine. NY Times. June 2020

“Many institutions are using this difficult time in our nation’s history to make changes. The health care system should do the same. The pandemic has given us a glimpse of a world in which business as usual in our health care system was upended. It has also provided an opportunity to start up again in a healthier and more financially responsible way. Reflexively returning to the status quo may be good for our bottom line, but it won’t serve our patients well.”

Is It Safe Yet To Get Your Physical Or A Dental Checkup? NPR. June 2020.

“For most routine checkups, the decision about whether to start getting preventive care again should be easy, Palumbo says: “The people that are at highest risk of COVID or poor outcomes from COVID are also the ones that … are going to benefit the most also from these routine procedures, so we have to recognize that these things still do need to happen. It’s better to treat something sooner than later, so it is still important to continue their care even while this is going on.”

Healthy people shouldn’t take daily aspirin to prevent heart disease, review finds. CNN Health. June 2020

“Millions of Americans who’ve never had cardiovascular disease could still be taking a daily aspirin to prevent heart disease without a physician’s recommendation, despite the updated guidance that said it may be unnecessary and possibly risky, the study noted. Given the range of different interventions now available to prevent cardiovascular disease such as statins, blood pressure medication and help quitting smoking and losing weight, the findings of the research called in question the use of aspirin as a preventative.”

ASCP to Collaborate with ASCLS and ASM in Choosing Wisely Campaign. Yahoo News. June 2020

“By request from the ABIM Foundation, ASCP has collaborated in working with the American Society for Clinical Laboratory Science (ASCLS) and the American Society for Microbiology (ASM) as they participate in the Choosing Wisely initiative.”

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