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aughtpunk · 18 days ago

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That Time a Published Author Told Me to Un-Queer My Novel

So, I don't think I ever shared this story on Tumblr before.

As you may know I've spent the past ten years turning my old Welcome to Night Vale fanfic into a stand alone novel called Echo of the Larkspur. Now, I haven't been working on it ten years straight. I'd pick it up, do a bunch of editing and rewriting, submit it to agents/publishers, get turned down, put the book away, wait 2-3 years, dust off the book, re-edit and rewrite, etc etc. A cycle that repeated itself far too many times that I would like.

Well, during one of these cycles when I was in the 'get rejected by every agent and publisher I submit to' stage I asked the writing group I was in what I was doing wrong. Because at this point I had reached a hundred total rejections and I was starting to suspect that the issue was with me.

One of the members of this writing group, a male author who was traditionally published, offered to read my first chapter and give his advice on how to fix it. This was, in retrospect, a mistake. But I was desperate. I sent him the first chapter and waited for his response.

Folks. The email he sent me changed my life.

First he said that agents wouldn't publish my novel because it was Sci-fi with hardcore gay erotica in it. This is curious because while the book certainly is queer, at no point in the conversation with this man did I say it was hardcore erotica. Nor did the first chapter feature any. It's almost as if he assumed that just because something was gay, it had to be hardcore erotica. Interesting.

He went on to say that a Human/Robot pairing was weird and that there was "No Way" my story could seriously address the issues of a relationship like that. Once again, he only read the first chapter. He just...assumed I wouldn't think of that? And that my book wouldn't cover it?

The author then said “I also felt that the LGBTQ inclusion really seems to cloud things.” Direct Quote.

And then this is when he said my favorite quote of them all:

The idea of a book being a sci-fi with romance AND a mystery is a Modern Art Marzipan Owl. It's just too confusing! No one can handle a story that is a mystery in a sci-fi enviroment AND has a romantic subplot! THEIR BRAINS WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE!

Thankfully he had a solution to my book problem. His answer? Turn the book into an Action Spy Thriller and turn S.A.G.E., a robot that identies as a gay man, into a sexy lady robot who needs a MAN to teach her what it means to be human.

(I assume the male lead will teach the 'confused' female robot how to be human via his penis.)

Now my favorite part about this advice is that at no point did he outright say "Remove the gay part". No, instead he sneakily changed the robot love interest into a female robot as if I wouldn't notice. Just sort of swept away the gay bits as something totally unneeded and just mucking up the narrative. Also that's not the plot of my story, I have no idea where this virus thing came from.

(Also note that the female robot can't be robotic-like at all. Must preserve the average straight-man sex drive at all costs I guess)

He then finished his email basically saying that I should remove everything that 'traditional publishers' don't like (aka the queer parts) and make it easier for 'your average reader' to digest and my book will be good as published!

When I said this email changed my life I meant it. Because it made me realize I'd rather be self published and unknown than traditionally publish milquetoast trash like he suggested. Like holy fuck. If I removed all of the "Difficult" to digest stories out of Echo of the Larkspur then there wouldn't be a book left!

So here I am. Self publishing my Marzipan Modern Art Owl of a book. I know it'll never see the inside of a bookstore or top the charts on Goodreads but hey, I'd rather it speak to one person than have a thousand people get excited for the part where the male lead teaches the lady robot how to be human (via his penis).

If a Queer Sci-fi/Romance/Mystery novel sounds like your jam then consider preordering it!

Looking for something to read now? Can't afford the book? Willing to read in exchange for an honest review? You can join my ARC book readers here!

#echo of the larkspur #eotl #writeblr #bookblr #robot #robot romance #robot sex #robot fucker #robophilia #queer #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt pride #welcome to night vale #wtnv #night vale

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riagraie · 5 months ago

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How f-ed up Hanna's life is.

the other day i was thinking about Hanna's backstory, life, and things that happen to her once she joins the ninja (surprise surprise). and i realized, i made her life really fucked up...

i swear, only like 40% is projection (kinda).

so i figured i'd share with you all to see if i should tone it down, keep going, or give her more trauma!!!!!

spoilering this for the sake of major ninjago spoilers.

general tw warning. it's a lot that could trigger some people so, read at your own risk.

Background

So if I haven't explained before, I created a fake city in Ninjago, stealing the name of an airport in London bc I thought it sounded Ninjago-ish.

Hanna was born in Heathrowe, the second largest city in Ninjago. Heathrowe is a fashion capital, filled with the rich and famous. It's also where Jay's biological father (Cliff Gordon) lived for the majority of his life in my AU as well since he was an actor. It's also where Cole's parents met.

Hanna's parents are among the rich in Heathrowe, they owning a multi-million dollar Trust company and a multi-million dollar Real estate business. Basically, Hanna is fucking loaded. Because of the nature of the companies her parents own, they are pretty popular in Heathrowe as well.

Childhood (Birth to Age 10)

Hanna, as I mentioned above, grew up in Heathrowe. She was born with naturally black and white hair, her eyes a starkingly metalic silver. As a kid, as in elementary school (about age 5 to age 10), she had a few really close friends and a larger circle of just friends.

To avoid getting bullied, Hanna's parents made her wear a wig with just black hair. They would've dyed her hair instead but Hanna's hair rejects all kinds of dyes. So, she was hiding that part of herself, leading her to have a kind of mental belief she had to be someone she wasn't for the majority of people.

But, for those few friends she had, she didn't wear the wig. They knew about her natural hair and loved it, not seeing her differently for it. Heathrowe is surrounded by dense forests that are thinner closer to the city. That's where Hanna and her friends would play most of the time.

The first time Hanna used her powers was when she was 9. She and her friends were in the forest, playing, when a group of older kids who were bullies of the trio just because they wanted to be, snuck up on them. The bullies threatened Hanna's friends, holding her back so she couldn't do anything.

Just as the bullies were about to hurt the friends, Hanna's powers played up and she ended up giving four of the bullies moderate concussions and leaving the one who was holding her back in critical condition. In this uncontrollable burst of power, Hanna also nearly severely hurt her friends.

This of course meant they were no longer her friends and their parents spread the word that Hanna was a "freak of nature" to the other parents of Hanna's elementary school.

This led Hanna to be the target of a lot of hate from basically everyone at her school. To compensate, Hanna's parents took her out of school once she came home with her belongings stolen.

Once her powers showed up, Hanna's parents worked with her, not to help her control them, but to suppress them, clueless about how much they'd grow during the next few years.

Tween Years (Age 10 to Age 12)

Hanna spent a year being home-schooled, until she moved on from elementary school into middle school (or junior high). It took her parents a lot of convincing but she was able to go without a wig.

She attended Heathrowe Private Junior High School, which was pretty small with at most 400 students between grades 6-8. What Hanna wasn't expecting was for her old best friends to go to that school.

They recognized her and tormented her, spreading nasty rumors about her. Hanna also hit puberty around this time and thus, people started harassing her about her looks.

Her tween years were mostly a lot of isolation socially and of her drifting away from her parents because they got busy.

Teen Years pt1 (Age 13 to Age 15)

Hanna's early teen years were really fucked up. The harassment about her looks got a lot worse as she grew tall really quick and began to grow close to people she misjudged as trustworthy.

A group of girls who were actually jealous of her convinced her to share who she was crushing on, set up a date between the two (Hanna was 14), and filmed her reaction to being rejected and degraded by the guy she was set up with. The assholes posted it on the internet and it went viral, hitting everyone in the school.

So again, the bullying and rumors got worse. Hanna went to her parents but they told her this is what she wanted, to go back to school. Granted, they didn't know the severity of the situation since Hanna didn't share anything.

Then, one day during lunch the group of girls, the guy, and the guy's group of friends basically jumped her, spewing insult after insult at her, publically embarressing her while dozens of people watched and recorded.

Hanna, during this time, did have one true friend. A girl named Victoria knew about what Hanna did, what Hanna could do, and didn't care. Victoria stood up for Hanna only to get ridiculed too. But Victoria didn't care and continued fighting back until the guy struck her, slapping Victoria across the face.

And like before, Hanna's powers reacted before she could stop them, she basically blowing up the entire school because of how much they'd grown. Unfortunately for Hanna, this led to nearly 100 people to be hurt with varying severity. Hanna's powers this time protected Victoria, she helping to snap Hanna out of her trance.

Once she was calm, Hanna passed out and Victoria realized those who still could were still recording. Those who were, half of them were live on social media sites. This meant the entire internet saw what Hanna did, including the school, her parent's clients, and one person who is a lot more relevant to Hanna in the future.

Hanna was expelled from pretty much every single school in Heathrowe and a lot of her parent's clients through both of their companies were pissed, claiming the parents were raising a demon/monster. So, on Hanna's 15th birthday, she was told by her parents she was moving to Ninjago City.

Yes, just her. Hanna's parents stayed behind in Heathrowe, setting Hanna up with weekly allowance payments, housing, and schooling in Ninjago City. Hanna was told it was because if they didn't, their clients would leave. But on the back end, the person I mentioned before threatened Hanna's life.

Of course they didn't tell Hanna and she was led to believe her parents chose money over her. This is where her hatred of her parents comes from. The only person she thought she could trust still, Victoria, was forced to cut ties with Hanna by the same person.

At the ripe age of 15, Hanna was forced to live alone in Ninjago City, a place she'd only been to on vacation. She didn't know anyone and didn't have anyone but herself to turn to.

Teen Years (Age 15 to Age 17)

--This part includes the following seasons: Sons of Garmadon (s8), Hunted (s9), March of the Oni (s10)--

Hanna attended the school her parents had her go to for a little while, until the same kind of rumors and bullying began. Then she withdrew and self educated herself. She spent her older teen years with a lot of resentment for the majority of people, even resenting the Ninja somewhat because she needed saving in Heathrowe but they weren't there.

Despite having the means to be part of Ninjago City's upper class of individuals, Hanna ended up becoming close with the streets of Ninjago City. Because of this, she learned basic defense and accidentally joined the Sons of Garmadon. Of course, she thought it was just a motorcycle enthusiast group since she kinda got thrown into a rebellious phase.

Her main participation in the group occured when it was still small and not on the Ninja's radar. She was 16 and was hanging out with gang members without knowing they were a gang and not just a group of people having fun. During this time in her life, she got the majority of her piercings and bought her first motorcycle, getting direct lessons from Ultraviolet about how to ride.

When the Ninja came back to Ninjago City for the royal address, Hanna had begun to realize she was in over her head and began to drift from the group, instead watching the Ninja pretty closely because she would rather help the Ninja then be a part of a coup. She realized the SoG were bad after she met Mr. E, instantly getting bad vibes from him.

She attended the royal address and from her past experiences, she was able to tell that something was off with Harumi, dealing with people of her kind in the past. She also noticed the Green Ninja (Lloyd) being very close to her. Against her will (she was threatened), Hanna was forced to be involved with the overtake of the Jade Palace, she getting away while the other people of SoG were being arrested.

Hanna also saw how Harumi was taken by the ninja and because the SoG didn't know who was or wasn't arrested, she used that knowledge to go to Skylor, who she'd gotten close with after they both realized they were pretty much parentless.

The two of them camped out in Chen's Noodle House until Lloyd confronted the newly ressurected Garmadon and nearly unalived. They watched the live broadcast and knew that they had to get out of the city ASAP. So, they began packing things up. But, before they could skedaddle, Skylor got a call from Mistake, requesting her help.

Skylor and Hanna had a conversation and planned a few things out. Skylor, who still had connections to the other elemental masters was going to contact them while Hanna rejoined forces with the SoG so she could be a spy for the resistance. She only agreed since she had been using a disguise with the SoG to hide her actual identity. A black wig, tinted glasses, and a mask.

Hanna rejoined the SoG shortly after Garmadon took over the City, apologizing for everything and explaining she was in hiding. Without realizing Garmadon could sense the strength of her powers she didn't tell anyone about, she was made a leader of a squadron of SoG members, in charge of hunting down Lloyd.

Her squad was on the team that worked with Mr. E to corner the resistance. And her squads fall was all planned by her and Skylor so Skylor could help Lloyd and the others get away. Once they were homefree, Hanna split from her group, instructing them to follow Mr. E back to the main base and claimed she was going after the others.

In reality, Hanna was going to the garbage depot to meet up with the resistance. She was met with hesitation since she was introduced as Skylors "person on the inside." Hesitation specifically from Lloyd, which was reasonable but it made getting along hard. The two of them trained together, Lloyd still weak from his injuries in the fight with Garmadon and Hanna not super experienced with fighting made them pair up fairly well.

Though, most spars turned into intense arguements since Hanna could clearly see the doubt in Lloyd's eyes whenever he talked about fighting his father and tried to clue him in, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

She ended up being a front runner in the Resistance's invasion of the Radio Tower. Since Skylor knew about Hanna's powers, she put her directly with Lloyd, the group splitting up into two teams after Garmadon realized his son was in the building.

Cornered, Hanna sacrificed herself by picking a fight with Harumi so that Lloyd could make it to the broadcasting room without much issue. In their fight, Hanna disclosed her being a traitor and only lost because Garmadon crept up on her.

To punish her, they left her in holding cells in the basement of Borg Tower without telling anyone. Harumi specifically was in charge of bringing her food and water just to barely keep her alive. The SoG members trustworthy were allowed to come down and see her, insulting and mentally torturing her.

When Garmadon was taken down and Harumi died, Hanna was left in said cell for five days completely alone without food or water until someone found her. She was sent to the hospital but ended up escaping when she heard them mention calling Hanna's parents.

She was still recovering from her imprisonment when the Oni invaded Ninjago City. Because of being part Harmonizer, the mist of the Oni (idk what it's actually called) didn't affect her and she was forced to be the only survivor in Ninjago City with Oni on consistent patrol.

Hanna was nearly caught when Garmadon and Lloyd went into the mist to destroy the realm crystal. But, she didn't see them as saving the city, more so putting her lift in danger. After the Oni left, Hanna became a social recluse, avoiding all of her old friends and got into a lot of trouble with the law, making her name with the SoG come back to life as a way for the police to identify her since she always wore a disguise.

So, for this chapter of her life, she went through a hell of a lot and found the only way to cope with it to be blaming the ninja and specifically Lloyd.

Echoes of The Echoed (Age 18 to Age 19)

Obviously, spoiler warnings for my fanfic. Thus, I'm doing a bulleted list of her traumas lmao

- recovering from injuries

- got into a lot of fights on the street

- had extreme nightmares/visions the ninja didn't believe her about

- learned about some of the stuff her parents hid from her

- discovered she couldn't run from her powers anymore

- got poisoned!

- severely injured the guy she liked

- had to go through physical symptoms of letting her powers be used completely

- watched her friends be tortured

- got tortured herself

- nearly died

Early Adulthood (Age 19 to Age 21)

I'm also just going to bullet list this bc I'm probably going to write smth for this.

-- This part includes the following seasons: Secrets of Forbidden Spinjitzu (s11), Prime Empire (s12), Master of The Mountain (s13), The Island of The Keepers (s14), Seabound (s15), Crystalized (s16)--

Also contains stuff from the next fanfic called Extinct Whispers.

- struggles with letting herself rest with her injuries from EoTE

- struggles with the continued growth of her powers

- has to learn to let people in

- has to cope with being left behind for her own safety

- doesn't like the cold

- watches her friends cope with loosing Zane

- struggles with new environment in Prime Empire

- watches her friends (becoming her family) slowly get eliminated

- has to stand by and watch as Lloyd gets eliminated by fighting Harumi (someone she hates)

- sacrifices herself so Jay can get out of Prime Empire

- respawning in Ninjago and seeing everyone is ok

- sees first hand Lloyds trust issues

- she and Lloyd fight quite a bit during Master of the Mountain

- is separated from everyone until she finds the Gekeles (idk if I spelt that right)

- heals her relationship with Lloyd

- she struggles with the beginnings of an imbalance during the Island(beginning signs of Crystalized)

- tries to explain to Lloyd somethings wrong but they just brush it off

- goes with everyone to Kalmars castle and gets kidnapped (yay)

- watches as her best friend (Nya) struggles with her powers

- suffers a lot bc of Nyas death

- has to be okay with being the last female ninja around (she isn't)

- GREIF

- has to revert to her criminal ways to get Nya back

- is the only one not caught by the new ninja

- begins to really struggle with an imbalance.

- gets arrested lmfao

- is not released on good behavior (she escapes)

- guilty about breaking out of prison and for growing meaner and meaner (bc of imbalance)

- the entirety of s16 she feels like she's going insane

- watches as Lloyds mental health declines

- doesn't sleep much

- has to be around Garmadon (who tortured her remember) again

- feels useless because she can't do anything to help the situation

- gets kidnapped by Harumi again

- is tortured by the Overlord

- sees how broken Lloyd gets

- watches Lloyd nearly died to the Overlord

- transforms for the first time and is totally freaked out about it

- has to learn that her parents lied to her about a lot of stuff

- the guy from EoTE comes back to kill Hanna and everything she loves

- has to reunite with her parents (only makes the divide between her and then worse)

- nearly dies #1

- the ninja except Lloyd get kidnapped

- Lloyd gets kidnapped

- nearly dies #2

- forced to let her powers completely consume her in order for her to save the people she loves

- nearly dies #3

Bonus positive thing: Gets engaged!!

Post-Merge (Age 22 - Age 24)

Oof. Get ready y'all.

Hanna lands in the center of Ninjago City after the Merge concludes without any idea of where the others are. She is completely alone in a sea of terrified and equally confused people. Overwhelmed, she runs away and hides. From afar, Hanna helps Ninjago City with the beginnings of rebuilding after the Merge like helping people clean their homes and keeping the streets free of crime.

About a month or so after the Merge, Hanna finds out she's pregnant. At this point, she's begun to assume the other ninja have died. So, she finds out she's pregnant with her dead soulmates baby.

Unfortunately for her, keeping Ninjago City relatively crime free put a target on her back. She knows this and decides to go look for Lloyd. To make sure she wasn't followed, Hanna burns her GI and cuts her hair really short and buys a black wig.

She travels for a few months with no luck then moves to the Crossroads where she meets a doula from a different world that actually knows about Harmonizers. Then, disaster hits.

Hanna is around 5 months pregnant when a gang leader from Ninjago City finds her when she was on the way back from the doctors appointment where she learned her babys gender. The gang leader sees Hanna is pregnant and decides to punish her for putting the majority of his gang away by punching her right in the stomach.

Hanna has a brutal miscarriage, and while still going through it, she runs into the same guy and nearly kills him. Hanna is forced to flee the Crossroads, deciding to give her apartment to two kids she knew we're looking for a better place, Sora and Arin.

Hanna then spends a few more months traveling, looking for any signs she wasn't the only Ninja who survived. She runs into the Claws of Imperium and she ends up changing her path to trying to stop them. Only, she gets caught and thrown into prison.

Upon trying to escape, they figure out she has a shit ton of power so the Empress instructs Dr.Laroe to use her power. So they do. Hanna ends up locked up in Imperium, being experimented on daily to figure out what her power is and how to use it to their benefit. It nearly kills her several times.

So eventually, Laroe makes Hanna stay sedated. She stayed like that until Lloyd, Sora, Arin, and Ryiu invaded Imperium where she uses the last of her strength to make sure they all get out safely. Hanna ends up in a 3 day coma. But hey, she's reunited with people she cares about right?

WRONG!!!! Hanna is so injured she can barely move without intense pain and is forced to be bedridden for weeks. Once she started feeling better, the end of the world was happening and she had to help Lloyd learn how to control his power and the conduit, which again drained her.

A few weeks later, Lloyds horrific visions happen. But, Hanna also has horrible visions too. Only hers are memories of her kind, Harmonizers long dead trying to warn Hanna about something. Another imbalance happens, one that leads Hanna to being a danger to everyone she loves.

Around the same time, Hanna fesses up that her avoidance with doing anything physical (if you know what I mean) with Lloyd is because of her miscarriage. She tells him about all of her guilt and fear with potentially having something similar happen again keeps her from wanting to do anything. While sure, it helps some, Hanna has to watch as Lloyd learns he could've been a dad and wasn't because Hanna wasn't careful enough (not true but yk)

When the blood moon happens, she gets transformed into this person of pure evil, the imbalance so powerful it basically traps Hanna in her body while she watches as an "evil" version of herself takes over and hurts everyone she cares about.

During the tournament of Sources, Hanna ends up being part of the reason why Arin turns to Ras, manipulating him into believing Lloyd won't help him anymore. Hanna also hurts the Ninja emotionally, taunting Nya about Jay, bullying Zane for losing almost instantly, manipulating Cole into believing Bonzle left on purpose, aiding Soras low self-esteem, and using Lloyds feelings towards her as a way to distract him.

When the tournament ends, the imbalance lets up enough for Hanna to have control back. She helps the ninja fight off Nokt (she doesn't even break a sweat because she uses her self rage against him). But before she can reunite with Lloyd, she goes running after Arin to protect him from Ras.

So, by the age of 25 (as it stands right now), she has gone through a shit ton of bs!!

Let me know what you think, what your "oh shit"s were, whatever. It has taken me FOREVER to get this post finished fr.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago dragons rising #hanna #ninjago oc #lloyd #hanna oc #oc #ninjago lore #ninjago oc lore #hanna lore #lloyd ninjago #ninjago fan season/fanfic #echoes of the echoed #extinct whispers #dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising

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