#getting more and more implausible

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

#what i love about this is that to bertie it's a foregone conclusion that it's Their Car#it isn't 'you should take the car' it's 'why on earth would you take the train? we've got a car you know!'#the employer-employee relationship has become the thinnest possible fiction for married behaviour#and honestly this is making me feel a lot better about the spinoza thing. like. to bertie being mindful of jeeves is just normal.#why WOULDN'T he take the car. it's easier. bertie might not have remembered to tell jeeves to take the car#if jeeves hadn't told him when the train was leaving but it isn't because bertie doesn't care. he just assumes jeeves would take the car.#the guy had to order the spinoza. we know we don't see a lot of the conversations they have and basically all they do whenever there isn't#any plot going on is talk to each other about daily news literature history whatever jeeves is reading.#so it seems a lot more likely that we just didn't see that bit of communication happening than it is for bertie to forget briefly about#the book he wanted to give jeeves and then decide oh well let's hold onto it until christmas. because that doesn't make any sense - that's#a level of unthinking that's more about 'well who cares' than about 'i had a very busy few days and was at my aunts place so i couldn't#pick up your book'#the same in regards to bertie interrupting jeeves - because he (iirc) usually only does it when Something Is Going On#he likes hearing jeeves talk about poetry! he asks about his family! but he doesnt want to hear about jeeves aunts while he's In A Situatio#(and honestly. 1) jeeves sometimes has very bad timing. see the bicycle story. the 'cheesewright is going to crush you like a fly' thing.#the 'that's a lot of money you're owing and captain biggar is not patient' thing from RFJ. he just gets a little carried away#2) having started tally ho (thank you for recommending it btw!) this is so incredibly stressful. like. i have been underestimating#just how stressful the situations bertie gets into are. jeeves must have nerves of steel. we know that bertie does not.#and if i had to deal with not even an unwanted engagement but just a situation like 'this guy's fake moustache might fall off after#i went to some lengths to smuggle him in' and someone tried to talk to me about their aunt i would also think that This Is Not The Moment.#Can't You See Everyone Here Is An Idiot And I'm Somehow Responsible. this is the most stressed i've been in my life. (i am having a lot of#fun aside from and during the stressful! it's just stressful af) so really bertie should get a break for that#very long story short this is absolutely married behaviour

tags from @noandnooneelse

While we’re on the subj. of Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, this earlier scene drives me insane too, because speaking in just black and white, contractual terms, Bertie, you literally DO have the option? You’re the only one who has an option in this situation. You have the power to tell him he can’t go, you are literally his employer. And then he offers Jeeves use of the car to go to London, even though Jeeves never would’ve asked! Married behavior! Married behavior!!! This is the sort of negotiation spouses have with each other, we are fully out of the realm of master/servant now

[creating-by-starlight]

Me, every time anyone says anything about "waiting for The One God has for you"/romantic soulmates/etc: Stop, stop, stop! Why are we implying that everyone has a soulmate when everyone does not have a soulmate? God's going to get nasty letters saying "Where's my soulmate? Why haven't I found my soulmate?" and do you want Him to have to deal with that? I don't think so! Stop spouting heresy being so silly!

[vaguely-concerned]

due south is just so incredibly fun is the thing. it's a story that takes such delight in being a story at every turn and on every level.

(something strangely discworld-esque about it that way -- sort of like the fiction version of gender euphoria lol. every episode due south wakes up glorying in being a narrative and getting to do narrative Things and that shameless joy, that lack of interest in courting anything resembling the plausible or more obstructive to the truth yet, realistic, is threaded into everything. yeah of course there's a ghost now. fraser trying to make sense of the story of his father to make sense of the story of himself while being a stranger in a strange land makes the most sense anything ever has. of course they still talk (and fail to talk) to each other all the time. of course he's always here, and never here at the same time. people don't change just because they're dead. fraser in the pilot walking through all the *stories* of his father, still looking for him as he did when he was a little boy, and finding as much of him now as he did then (not nearly enough, even when he's right there). hello. hello. help.)

[mothmangang]

what if Danny isn't dead and just ran away to the circus. like yeah they might kill and steal people's skin but they seem chill with him joining and taught him how to juggle so it's cool. like yeah his insides might not be made of meat right now but unless he gets stabbed he rarely ever notices. What if Danny and Nikola were also situationship exs but left off and good terms and are still best buds. like can you imagine Danny *at the bar drinking something* Nikola:*in full clown getup* "You have a really nice skull!" Danny: *so horny he might throw up cause this is the first time a stranger has hit on him* "you have uhhhhh..... really nice..ummm skin?" cut to them marrying at the alter in the circus after he joins and all that stuff Danny: "Shit! I forgot to tell my brother! He's gonna miss the wedding!"

when they meet again it's like Tim: "I thought you were dead!!!! I saw your skin filled with sawdust dancing with a clown!! Danny: “my bad dude that was our wedding and I forgot to invite you but I'm glad you made it anyway” Tim:" You're married?! Danny: "not anymore, also you were at the wedding how don't you know this?" Tim: "I was a bit too busy freaking out over that fact my brother had been skinned and was now filled with sawdust and probably dead!!!" *sounds of heavy breathing after arguing* Tim: "How did you get your skin back by the way?" Danny: "I'm still filled with sawdust" Tim: "FOR FUCKS SAKE-"

[wanderingmind867]

The Cluemaster episode of The Batman (2004) is really weird, but in a surreal, incredibly dark yet funny kinda way. It's around as weird as Tim Burton's Batman Returns (which had a penguin who dressed like an 1800s gentleman, wanted to murder all the firstborn sons in the city, and who ate raw fish), it's just shorter. We have a 600 pound man with a superiority complex and peter pan syndrome. He lost a 70s game show, and his mind never recovered. He lives with his senile mother, and his henchmen are a group of angry little people. And the episode has an odd number of guest stars, so it feels cinematic. Fred Willard, Edie McClurg, Udo Kier (an actor i'd never heard of, but who's apparently pretty big in dramas and stuff), etc. This episode is bizarre.

But the even weirder thing is that there's a real charm to the story, and it isn't just a freaky story of a man child out for blood. No, we get to learn about alfred's obsession with daytime tv (since he always catches it on tv when cleaning), and we end the episode with bruce and alfred playing checkers, tying into an earlier line where alfred mentions how bruce was always a serious kid who never had time for games. So...for a 20 minute episode, this episode was pretty weird and fun. It makes sense Cluemaster wasn't brought back, since I don't know what else they could do with him. But for one episode, this whole saga is fun and bizarre and actually pretty enjoyable.

[bisexualboysbroadcast]

it’s universally agreed that we’re not expecting playboyy to have a happy ending right? tbh I’m not even sure I want a happy ending. if they’re all alive by the end I’ll consider it a win

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

so i'm writing an 8th year fic and h&d are taking a muggle studies class together in which they read one of shakespeare's plays, and i'm trying to write a final project (for which they are partners) but like. hogwarts academics don't seem all that uhhhhh rigorous to me (like we see the students complaining about having to write a foot of parchment which is essentially ONE PAGE HANDWRITTEN) and i'm a little worried that my assignment is too rigorous.

it involves a lot of like. thinking analytically and using your imagination wrt the motivations of people unlike yourself, and that's not rlly something they do much at hogwarts as far as i can see. BUT it is muggle studies, and like. they could definitely all use some practice at those skills, following the recent implosion of their society.

[fideidefenswhore]

Yet, even Chapuys, who gives us this information, says earlier in the same letter that ‘there had been… talk of a new marriage for this king… which rumour agrees well with my own news from the court of France, where, according to letters [I have] received, courtiers maintain that this king has actually applied for the hand of Francis’ daughter’. Chapuys himself therefore does not connect up the rumours of a ‘new marriage’ with Jane Seymour. In early April, Jane was still little more than a lady whom the king was pursuing. At best, in accordance with the conventions of courtly love, she was the lady whom ‘he serves’ – a telling phrase. At worst, she was a passing fancy, whom Henry may have hoped to make his mistress. Chapuys certainly didn’t think much of Henry’s choice. He described Jane the day before Anne’s execution as ‘no great beauty’ and ‘not a woman of great wit’; he implied that she was unlikely to be a virgin, and reported that people said she was inclined ‘to be proud and haughty’. Yet, by this point, the world had changed, and with it, Henry’s intentions towards Jane. It is highly improbable that before Anne was considered guilty of adultery, Henry had seriously begun to plan to make Jane his wife.

1536: The Year that Changed Henry VIII, Suzannah Lipscomb

"I hear that, even before the arrest of the Concubine, the King, speaking with Mistress Jane Semel of their future marriage [...]"

[constelationprize]

My main takeaway from TSC now being the second trilogy is that I'm gonna spend the next two books waiting for Stuart to do his routine of showing up out of nowhere, being an absolute cunt for no reason, and then leaving at least one more time. Do I think it will happen? No, I didn't even expect it the first time. But a girl can dream.

[notmoreflippingelves]

EoA for ask meme

otp: *coughs* Elena/Esteban. sorry not sorry.Look if they didn't want me to be unhinged about them, they shouldn't have spent an entire season soulmate-coding them and then capping it off with a BATB homage.

favourite canon pairing: ymmv on how canon it is, but considering it was pretty strongly teased in the series finale, Julio/Doña Paloma. I do find Carla/Mateo pretty cute as well.

worst pairing ever: I wouldn't say any of the pairings for the show are bad. It's just a lot of them don't particularly interest me. I could say Elena/Mateo, because personally I find it overrrated and I'm already gonna talk about it later. But I am going to go with Esteban/Doña Paloma.

I did actually kind of ship it the first time I watched the show...right up until the episode where their AU selves got married. And even though the whole point of "to Queen or Not to Queen" is that everything is absurd and everyone is wildly out-of-character (especially the two of them), they just seemed so miserable together and I couldn't unsee it. I also find it kind of annoying that Paloma is treated as sort of the default "acceptable" Esteban shipping option for people who don't want to pair him with OCs. And just...it's fine and I understand why many people would feel uncomfortable shipping him with certain characters (even if I don't)...but like...Victor is also right there. And honestly, I'm able to get a lot of the same vibes that I initially liked about esteoma out of estevictor, esteban/naomi, gaberico, and Julio/ Paloma---plus just I find those dynamics are more interesting in general.

guilty pleasure pairing: It used to be estebalena, but now, I have much less shame over it. It helps that I really only see it happening in S3 or later and that I hc that Elena would be the much more dominant/instigating partner in the relationship. I mean I guess Shuriki/Esteban is the obvious answer. But it is worth noting that I don't like it when it's genuine/mutual/romantic. I only like esteriki in the noncon/dubcon "Shuriki abusing her power" sense. So my guilty pleasure ship is less Shuriki/Esteban and more "Esteban/severe Shuriki-related trauma that leads to extreme woobification." I want him sad and pretty and haunted by the Dark Times™ so that he can have allll the angst, whump and hurt/comfort.

a pairing you want to see more: Literally every ship that isn't just some permutation of the Four Amigos. There are so many great characters in this ship that can be paired in so many interesting ways, but they rarely get acknowledged. I think I am particularly baffled by the lack of m/m in this fandom, since it's like the complete opposite of every other fandom ever. There's a bit of Mateo/Gabe, but honestly, it's positively dwarfed by other pairings for the amigos. (Also I don't care about Mateo, lol). There's also a criminally small bit of Gabe/Rico, but there could be so much more.

But honestly, the ship that I am genuinely baffled isn't more popular and really really want to see more of is Victor/Esteban. Like it just seems like a no-brainer to me. It has so many tropes that people normally go feral over. Childhood friends to lovers? Enemies to Lovers? Foe yay? Mutual redemption arcs? There isn't even an age difference and Victor's marriage is all-but-over. So, what is stopping people? I've seen at most a handful of ambiguously romantic ship art and not a single fic. Where is it? Where is the estevictor? Give me the estevictor!

that pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no” : Elena/Mateo. I mean I get why it's so popular given the popularity and attractiveness of both characters. But personally, I just don't find them interesting. I feel they both have better chemistry and interesting potential with other characters than they do with each other. And its popularity within the fandom certainly doesn't help, as my little contrarian hipster brain turns its nose up about 90% of fandom juggernaut pairings. Plus, I just don't care enough about Mateo to care about a ship with him. He's casually cute with Carla and I can see him with Gabe as well. But otherwise, nope. Don't like him enough to care who he's shipped with.

favorite non-romantic pair: There are a bunch of dynamics that I do ship sometimes (or more than sometimes) but I also love platonically. (Esteban & Elena, Elena & Naomi, Esteban & Naomi, Naomi & Gabe, Elena & Gabe, Elena & Valentina, Elena & Marisa, Chloe & Maliga, Cacahuate & Bobo, various permutations of "Team Isa"). But in terms of pairings that I only view platonically, either Victor & Carla or Isabel & Elena.

[deancasforcutie]

#Like... #CANONICALLY #we don't even need cas to know that #dean is queer #he basically doesn't even react to this with anything but chagrin? #because yes #HE DID HAVE A SUMMER OF LOVE WITH CROWLEY #and there are pics #there is no leg to stand on in the 'dean is straight' camp (via @wellofdean)

Gayest Dean Moment Not Involving Cas Number 5 ➼ Crowley Summer of Love

Bonus:

[sing-me-under]

I feel like after a week or so of reblogging JayVik posts without ever watching Arcane deserves a little bit of an explanation.

From the clips and hot takes I have seen of Arcane, I genuinely do not sense any romance between them. Queerplatonic and codependent, obviously, but not romantic. I’ve seen like four clips of Mel and Jayce together and they are blatantly portrayed as romantic and I love them for that. However, I have been in fandom for well over a decade and shipping (canon-interpretable to pure crack) is in my blood. You can pry this ship from my cold, dead hands.

[homunculus-argument]

Nothing gives a situation more chaotic energy like the presence of a horse somewhere with no reason why there would be a horse. Because getting a horse in there would require either absurd amounts of planning, or absurd disregard of anyone's health or safety, and the chaos is in the fact that you don't know. With a more unusual animal, say a kangaroo or an elephant, it's obvious that you somehow arranged this with some sort of professional animal handler staff, and probably had to go through a bunch of paperwork to get it here.

But a horse? It's not implausible that you found someone who owns a horse and asked to borrow their horse. It is also not implausible that someone just straight-up fucking stole a horse. Or a horse broke out on its own and was wandering around and got lured here with apples and jazz music. It is the whimsy of the unknowable at play.

[pinkopalina]

I hate when other batjokers hate telltale. they like to say it's really out of character but I completely disagree. you're just mad that your favorite comic or movie or show doesn't give you two+ routes and timelines of the same story to show the full intricacy of what their dynamic is, and we do get to have that and appreciate it. and it's exactly what everyone who wants reformed joker to be is, and it's exactly what everyone who doesn't want reformed joker to be is. hating on it is just virtuesignaling that you're a "real fan" to me and real fans don't gatekeep works, losers

[hpmort]

would-would a Christian hit a baby??? because that’s-that’s implied in the question

🤔

[probablybadrpgideas]

Number of Goblins, ranked

One Goblin - That's just a goblin. He's probably just getting his groceries or something. Leave him alone, you asshole.

Ten Goblins -- That's a fairly normal amount of goblins. There's generally around ten goblins in any given situations. They're just here for aesthetic, so you know it's a fantasy world. Remember to tip them when you leave.

One Hundred Goblins -- Ok this is too many goblins, but this is a reasonable amount of too many goblins. Like, this is maybe an army of goblins or something? My point is that they're probably here for a good reason. Best not to mess with them, they're likely load-bearing in some way.

One Thousand Goblins -- This is probably a goblin town, in which case this is really more a case of One Human, which is a completely different list only available on goblintube. If not, all these goblins are lost. Return them to the goblin town. The orcs are worried.

One Million Goblins -- A million goblins? I'm not sure I've even seen a million things in my life , and now there's a million goblins? That's, like, all the goblins. Why are you at a convention of all the goblins? Are you a goblin? Actually, no, that would make sense. Yeah, that's probably what's going on here. Sorry you had to find out this way.

One Billion Goblins -- Ok, look, at this point you have clearly been sent to a future time where humanity is extinct and goblins have inherited the earth. I can think of no other explanation for a billion goblins. This sadly means that you're the weirdo, and you have to go be a cryptid now. At least you can find a phone and read the goblin creepypastas about you.

One Trillion Goblins -- How? What is happening? This is more goblins then there are birds, and they'll all in your house? How is your house this big? Wait, forget the goblins, how is your house this big? Are the goblins here to guillotine you? Probably! Move out of your stupid mansion and let the goblins have it, you weird rich bird-hoarding freak.

One Quadrillion Goblins -- One quadrillion? I'm only like 80% sure that's even a real number! Luckily, you won't have to deal with a quadrillion goblins for long, because soon they'll collapse together under their gravity, forming a far more manageable single planet-sized goblin. Picard's not gonna be happy about this one!

More Goblins -- Fuck off, you do not have more then a quadrillion goblins. Why are you lying? Are you worried I won't like you if you don't claim to have an implausible number of goblins? Don't worry. Your worth is not dependent on your goblin numbers. Go back to the actual number of goblins secure in the fact I love you, no matter how few goblins you have <3