#giant!remus

[outromoony]

Remus: I love you.

Sirius: I love you more.

Remus: You're shorter than me and therefore your love capacity isn't as strong as mine. It is physically impossible for you to love me more.

[not-so-stranger]

marauders modern day: young the giant

marauders then: aerosmith, ac/dc

skittles modern day: arctic monkeys, artemas

skittles then: nirvana

feel free to add more (please)

[silverameco]

the height difference between James and Regulus is cute, but the height difference between Remus and Sirius is ridiculous

[trstalks]

i absolutely hope i inspired you to write tentacle remus omg!!! i also need someone to draw it but alas i am not talented enough😔

I just can’t help but think about how Regulus is feeling after seeing Remus in that situation from your post 😭🫣 and I am SUCH a slut for dom!Reg in Moonwater so now I’m thinking about him taking Remus out to the Great Lake to watch the giant squid fuck him.

For the sake of this post I’m imagining that the giant squid is sentient, and that Regulus performs some sort of spell to be able to converse with it in preparation. Like I’m imaging him telling the giant squid all about Remus and how submissive (and breedable) he is.

At night Regulus would lead Remus down under the pretense of there being a “surprise” for him, and when they reach the lake he’d have a cute little blanket laid out and he’d start kissing me softly, laying him down on the blanket like they’re about to make love.

Until suddenly Remus feels something wet and slimy circle around one of his ankles. In an instant, Regulus is rolling off of him and two large tentacles are hoisting him up into the air above the water.

One is wrapped around his waist and is supporting the majority of his body weight while the other is very lightly wrapped around his neck. He looks down and sees Regulus sitting back against a tree staring at him wide eyed, a hand already unbuttoning his pants.

Usually when Remus plays with his tentacles, he’s very much in control of the situation, which is why this one feels so different. It’s clear that Reg is the one with all the power when he winks at Remus and several tentacles get to work removing his clothing.

Once he’s naked, one of them slides up towards his unprepared hole, presses up against it, and pushes some sort of slick into it before wriggling its way inside of him slowly. It’s almost too much- the way it burns, and Remus when Remus goes to moan, a tentacle shoves into his mouth to shut him up.

A sucker latches onto his tongue and sucks on it, thrusting slightly into his mouth slowly, taking its time with him.

Another tentacle joins the one already in his hole, and when it starts to push itself into him another one wraps around his cock and starts jerking him off quickly. The two in his asshole beginning to thrust inside him in sync while the tentacle around his throat tightens JUST enough to make him lightheaded.

And Regulus watches as Remus is fucked in all his holes, and the squid jerks him off and other tentacles join in on the fun. One going to suck on his nipples while another rubs at his balls. The one in his mouth shoves itself further down his throat and he’s writhing around in the most delightful display of pleasure and pain :((

When Remus cums he doesn’t even get a second reprieve, continues getting fucked hard and deep while he can barely think, being overstimulated and wrought out.

Regulus watches him like that for several hours, right up until the squid cums inside him and he passes out momentarily, waking up laying in the grass next to Regulus with cum leaking out of him, completely fucked out.

“When can we do that again?” Is all either of them is thinking.

——————-

The way I would do anything to see this drawn out is insane btw

[manomeansshark]

I dropped my phone earlier this week and the screen shattered to bits

[lavender-actualy-posts-shit]

Giggling like a little girl because if we agree that Patton gets to be a small frog like Jan gets to be a snake, and Pat is canonically a large frog beast, then Jan would get to be a beast too, right?

I. Want. Hydra. Janus.

[annabellelupin]

Marlene: dorca look what i got for you

Dorcas: Oh do I even want to know

Marlene: *pours out like 30 skeins of yarn on their coffee table* Lesbian yarn

Dorcas: ... what?

Marlene: I just so happened to go to the craft store earlier and they had a bunch of yarn that were like pride flag colors so I just had to get every one of them that looked like the lesbian flag

Marlene: you know. because you do the things with the yarn and you're a lesbian.

Dorcas:

Dorcas: this actually might be one of the sweetest things you've ever done for me

[edupunkn00b]

A Modern Family

Written for the wonderful @just-some-gt-trash as part of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange. I'm sorry pinch-hitting meant your gift was late but it meant I got to play in a fun world! I hope you enjoy this little tale.

Rated: G - WC: 4078 - CW: mentions of rodents and spiders -

Christmas and New Year's over, the nights were still long and cold. The forecasters' over-promised snow fell softly outside the windows of the Sanders brothers' house. 'Spring' semester started next week at Logan’s school, so he and Patton had decided this would be a good evening to finally take down their holiday decorations and start to prepare for the new year ahead.

Seeded with a small box of keepsakes from their grandparents, they’d managed to accumulate quite the collection over the past six years, so they’d started early that evening in the hopes of completing their task before bed.

But even the best laid plans can fail. They’d only partially dismantled the tree and cleared the mantle, with candles and stockings and bric-à-brac filling three boxes to the brim, when Patton suddenly yawned, both arms stretched high over his head.

“Wow, Logie,” he said past another drawn out yawn. “I’m feeling like an old drum.”

Logan rolled his eyes at his brother’s old joke but couldn’t quite stifle his snort.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Patton continued, too tired to notice Logan’s rare acknowledgement of his pun. He hefted up the stack of boxes he’d set behind the couch. “I’ll take these up,” he said, darting for the stairs.

Logan half-turned toward him, one arm wrapped with the singular string of tree lights he’d successfully detangled. “Would you like some—”

“No!” Patton interrupted. He fumbled the boxes, the top jiggling as he scrabbled for a better handhold  “No, I’ve got ‘em,” he said, laughing. “The boxes.” His face pinked and he shrugged his burden with a grin. “The boxes, I mean.”

“Yes,” Logan nodded. “I can see that.” Perhaps sleep was best for him. “Good night, then, Pat.”

Patton was half-way up the stairs before he’d finished his sentence.

“‘Night, Logie!” he called over his shoulder just before the big closet upstairs slammed shut. Patton’s own bedroom door soon followed and Logan was left alone in the quiet living room.

~

It took Logan just over another hour to detangle and rewind the last of the tree lights and he stood back to assess their progress. The room was nearly restored to its standard appearance. There were now a few more books on the shelves and two new video games beneath the console. An unsealed tray of candied nuts sat on the coffee table, just next to the new coasters Logan had bought ‘for the house.’

Both gifts had been for the house. That's what the tags had said, at least. While the coasters were intended as a gentle reminder for Patton to not set drinking glasses down where their condensation would leave rings on unprotected surfaces, the sweet treats were really gift for their closest neighbors.

Their very closest neighbors.

Last July, he and Patton had moved in to their not-so-new house—‘It has good bones!’ the real estate agent had crowed. And, despite the rare-but-too-frequent-for-Patton appearances of tiny spiders throughout the house, they'd agreed. Their new home was large, with plenty of space for Logan’s third floor office overlooking the woods and Patton’s chicken coop in the backyard. Despite the high ceilings and many windows, the thick, well-insulated walls had kept them comfortably cool on even the hottest days.

It hadn’t been until September, on the first chilly night of the year, that Logan had begun to suspect they weren’t the only mammals living within its walls.

At first Logan had surmised his brother’s less-than-fastidious kitchen habits had led to a minor rodent infestation. Small amounts of food had began to go missing. He’d found opened cracker boxes with long, thin slits torn into their linings. Patton’s Nutter Butters ran out faster than typical and a hole sprouted near the bottom of his bagged coffee beans. They never found any droppings or teeth marks, so they simply repackaged everything in airtight containers and didn’t think much more of it.

Until October came.

It was midterm season and Logan had a thick stack of essays waiting for him on his desk. While requiring students to hand-write their exams in class had proved an effective deterrent against AI drivel, it meant more work for him in grading—and deciphering—over two hundred essays written with varying levels of coherence and legibility. Waiting for that evening’s fourth cup of coffee to brew, he’d removed his eyeglasses and leaned back against the counter, relishing a moment of required rest.

“You know,” a tiny voice drawled a few inches from his ear. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new coffee tin.”

He jolted up, barely avoiding the now-simmering kettle, and found himself eye-to-eye with… a person. A very smallperson.

“What?” Logan ripped off his eyeglasses and polished them on his sweater. Hands shaking, he replaced them and stepped closer, staring. “What are you?”

“Excuse you,” the little creature harrumphed, smoothing the sleeves of a tiny overcoat. “I am a who, not a ‘what.’”

Logan blinked at the creature for a long moment and it snapped its fingers inches from his nose. “Hel-lo? Anyone home?” When Logan still couldn’t quite find his words, it sighed. “It appears Remus was wrong about you. He said you could handle it but I knew we should have—”

“Remus? You—he? There’s more—”

Logan’s sputtering was cut off by the kettle's screech. Hands covering its—his? Their?—ears, it jumped down from the shelf and stomped on the switch, silencing the whistle. The action shook free the logjam of thoughts in Logan’s brain. “How did you know to do that?”

“Oh, look, he finally speaks,” the little creature murmured, one eyebrow cocked. “Well, I’ve watched you often enough.”

“You’ve…” Logan shuddered as he glanced around the kitchen, every shadow, every nook and cranny looming and large. “You’ve been watching us?”

“Yes, of course w—” The creature cut themself off, large—for their face—eyes suddenly widening before falling back to a more languid shape. “Look at us,” they said, gesturing between them.  “Your size makes you remarkably more threatening to me than I could ever be to you.”

“You could poison me,” Logan blurted out. “Or nick my carotid artery or cause me to aspirate Vaseline—”

Both hands pressed over their belly, the little creature laughed, an incongruously cheerful sound that halted Logan’s litany faster than anything else could have. “While I appreciate the list…” they said when they finally caught their breath. They wiped tiny tears from the corners of their eyes, soaking the butter yellow gloves they wore. “That would mean murdering the best resource w—I’ve had in years.”

“Resource?” Logan repeated, lowering into a crouch to once again get to eye-level with the creature. Looking closer at the gloves, he recognized the material of his favorite proctoring tie. The creature’s waistcoat looked suspiciously like the tie he wore now. Frowning, he examined the material of his own. The silk was completely unmarred, but bringing it closer to the creature’s clothing, the match was undeniable.

“No need to worry, I’d sooner go naked than damage your lovely neckwear.” The creature smiled—knowingly, infuriatingly, with a little gleam in their eyes. He stroked the edge of his tie. “You never use the coordinating pocket squares.”

“I thought…”

Patton’s confused grin when Logan had thanked him after his last run to Goodwill suddenly made sense. When the small stack of unworn handkerchiefs and pocket squares in the back of his closet had disappeared, Logan had assumed Patton included them in his donation. He now understood just where they'd really gone.

“You’re behind the missing food,” he whispered, the creature’s comment about his coffee canister replaying in his mind.

“Perhaps Remus was right after all,” the creature murmured and offered their hand, palm side-ways. Carefully, softly, Logan pinched the offered hand between the pad of his thumb and index finger in a simulacrum of a handshake. “My name is Janus,” the creature smiled. “And we need to have a talk about your new food storage system.”

Over shared coffee—Janus carried his own miniature mug clipped to the pack slung across his back—they discussed how difficult it had become for Janus and his friend, Remus, to gather food from their kitchen. Ever since Logan and Patton had begun their anti-rodent measures in the kitchen, their small neighbors had been left to subsist on literal crumbs and the rare windfalls when Patton had left a package or treat out for longer than usual. After much discussion and negotiation, he and Janus crafted an agreement that both kept the kitchen sanitary and their little neighbors safe and well-fed.

“Besides,” Janus had murmured, sipping happily at his second cup of coffee. “Remus takes great pleasure in slaughtering any sort of pest that might dare enter this home.” He waggled his head, considering his words, before adding. “Excepting, of course, spiders,” he said, rolling his eyes. “He adores them.”

“Yes, we’ve seen a few,” Logan grimaced. “Though, as frightened as Patton is of them, he would never kill them.”

Smiling that strange smile again, Janus nodded. “So we’ve noticed,” he finally said. “To be honest, that restraint was the only thing that left me confident to approach you without fear of being squashed on sight.”

~

And so began a very different sort of routine. Each night, Logan would wash and refill a small, shallow container with bits of fruit and meats and bread along with several coffee beans. Occasionally, he’d include a small sachet of loose tea or other treats of chocolate and candies Patton had recently made.

Water was trickier, but after some experimentation, Logan had installed a small rodent-sized water feeder in an upper cabinet, threading the bent barrel through a small hole he’d drilled in the back wall when Patton was out shopping. He sanitized it every two days and refilled it with fresh water each night.

His brother held a deep compassion for animals, that same compassion that kept Logan from using bait or traps or, worse, a cat, to manage their presumed rodent problem. Janus was confident Patton's compassion would overrule his even deeper fear of 'creepy, crawl death dealers' and slow a violent reaction should either suddenly appear before him.

Logan did not share Janus' confidence and extracted promises from each of them to stay out of his brother’s sight entirely.

Remus, dressed in a shiny green-and-black striped jester suit newly stitched together from a regrettably ink-stained necktie, had been reluctant to promise. In the end, though, he’d been convinced by Patton’s well-timed shriek at the discovery of a spider in the upstairs bath.

Perhaps that is why, when Logan sealed another box of decorations and happened upon the green-and-black pant leg sticking out from beneath the couch, he had only sighed and tapped his foot. “Remus?” he called quietly, eyes darting automatically to the stairs to guard against a surprise arrival from Patton. “Remus what are you doing under there?”

When Remus remained unresponsive, he tapped again, a little harder. “Remus?” he repeated, the unnatural stillness unnerving. “Remus, are you alri—” Cupping his hand, he gently scooped up the small creature and freed him from beneath the couch.

And nearly dropped him. Well, it. Clad in Remus’ green and black outfit was the similarly-sized Elf-on-a-shelf figurine Patton had jokingly purchased just after Thanksgiving.

“Oh, no,” Logan whispered, clutching the small doll to his chest. “Remus?” he hissed, pushing up to his feet. “Remus, where are you?” He scanned the room, checking all the corners where the duo liked to hide as they joined in on his and Patton’s movie nights, checked the bookcase where he’d arranged a reversed magnifier close to the smallest volumes in his collection to ease their reading. Nothing.

Finally, his eyes dragged up to the shelf where said Elf sat all December.

Completely cleared.

Patton had packed up all the knick-knacks and decorations hours ago. Remus couldn’t be hiding there. “Remus?” he tried again.

“He isn’t home. Hasn’t been all day.” Janus’ voice carried from a crack in the wall, tight with worry. “He went out early in the morning but should be back by now. I don’t know where he is.”

Janus stepped out from their hidden doorway into the living room. Hat crooked and his knees dusty, never before had Janus appeared so not put together. Dirt smudged his cheek and loose threads hung from the cuff of his left glove. “I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, Jay…” Logan whispered and moved to scoop him up. “We’ll find him together. I think…” His eyes flicked upstairs. “I think Patton might have packed him with the Christmas decorations. But we must hurry. He—”

Janus’ eyes, already glossy, grew wide. “All that bubblewrap? And if he breaks out to breathe and Patton sees him, he might—”

“We'll find him," Logan promised, holding him close before. "Let's go." Already headed for the stairs, at Janus' nod Logan slipped him into a deep pocket to hide and dashed up to the second floor.

~

Covers pulled up over his head with the space beneath illuminated by his phone’s flashlight, Patton lay, belly down, on his bed. His stockinged feet switched between resting on his pillow and kicking the edge of the blanket as he laughed.

And unwrapped another chocolate for Remus.

“Okay, okay, okay, my turn,” he giggled. “Where does a general put his armies?”

Sprawled on his side with melted chocolate painting the edges of his mustache, Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. “In the ground?”

“No!” Patton whisper-shrieked with a giggle. “In his sleevies!”

Falling onto his back and holding his belly, Remus laughed, the sweet tinkle matching the bells twitching on his borrowed hat and boots. Patton grinned as he broke off another tiny bit of his Ghirardelli square and passed it to him. He tapped one of the bells with another laugh. “I still can’t believe how long you managed to sit up on the mantlepiece.”

Eyebrows danced over wild eyes and Remus shrugged. “All your brother saw was the costume.”

Patton popped another chocolate into his own mouth and shook his head. “I thought for sure he caught me when he asked if I needed help with the box.” Reaching slowly, he dabbed at Remus’ face with the edge of his pajama sleeve, wiping away a tiny glob of chocolate. “You were laughing so loud!”

“Nah,” Remus leaned into Patton’s touch and curled against his hand. “Your brother’s so worried about you he wouldn’t notice if I’d stripped down in the middle of the living room.” Waggling his eyebrows, Remus winked. “He didn’t, did he?”

“That spider was suspiciously timed,” Patton murmured, stroking Remus’ hair back with the edge of his thumb.

Remus hummed, eyes falling shut. “Y’know they’re really not so bad when you give them a chance.”

“No, thank you!” Patton said for the millionth time. He twitched under the covers, just the thought of being near one of those horrible things sending an icy chill down his limbs.

Remus moved closer and hugged his hand. “Don’t worry, Pattycake,” he said, softer. “They won’t get too close to you.” His grin went sharp. “If they know what’s good for ‘em.”

“Thanks, Re,” he whispered. “You always know just what to—”

Patton froze at Logan’s sudden voice just outside his door. “Pat?” he called, voice low like he was afraid he’d wake him.

Pressing one finger to his lips, Patton drew Remus close and poked his head out from under the covers. He checked the time. He’d gone upstairs over two hours ago. Logan would expect him to be asleep by now, right?

Keeping Remus tucked against his chest so he wouldn’t squish him, Patton turned them around and lay back down under the covers, head now on the pillow. He’d just remembered to flip over his phone to hide the flashlight as Logan slowly opened the door.

“Pat?” he whispered into the darkness. Silhouetted by the hall light, Logan’s head turned from side to side as he peered into the room.

Rubbing his eyes with one hand—the other holding Remus under the covers—Patton put on a sleep-fuzzy voice. “Logie? You okay?”

“I am fine, I—I apologize for waking you, Patton.” He sounded rushed and… anxious.

Under the covers, Remus curled closer, stroking just over Patton’s sternum. He'd heard it, too. He wiggled against him, a welcome reminder he was still close and Patton took a steadying breath.

“Did something happen?”

“I—No. No, nothing to worry about, Patton.” He’d put on his calm, Big Bro voice. “I… I merely found a few additional items downstairs I’d neglected to pack away in the boxes you’d brought up. I went to find them and they weren’t all in the closet. I… Do you…”

He cleared his throat and Patton pulled Remus a little closer when he felt a snicker escape him. Logan didn’t seem to hear.

“Do you have the mantle box in here?” Logan finally asked, still in the doorway.

“Oh,” Patton giggled. That’s all he was worried about? “Oh, sure,” he said, sitting up a bit more and clicking on his bedside lamp. “By the dresser.” Relieved he’d thought to retape the box where he’d hidden Remus, he pointed freely.

Logan’s eyes widened when he saw the sealed box and he pounced on it, tearing at the tape.

“Logie?” Tucking Remus under the covers, he slid out of bed and moved to Logan’s side as he rifled through the box. He took out the bubble-wrapped snow globe and their stockings, along with the heavy copper hooks that held them in place. He pushed aside the ten years’ worth of Santa photos, the ice skating figurine, and the Phantom of the Opera music box that always played too loud.

Increasingly frantic, Logan’s fingers scraped the bottom of the box.

“Logie?” Patton asked again. “Are you looking for something?”

“Tell him!” A tiny voice—not Remus’ voice—came from Logan’s pocket.

Logan straightened, looking everywhere but at Patton.

“Who was that?” Patton asked and he swore he heard another of Remus’ little snickers from the bed.

“Wha—I—It—” Logan shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything. I am merely looking for—”

“Looking for me?” Remus called loudly from the bed, bells jangling.

The little voice swore from Logan's pocket. “Dammit, Remus!”

“Re!” Patton cried, moving to the bed.

“Re?” Logan repeated, grabbing for his hand before Patton got far. He finally met his eyes. “Re?” he asked again.

“The jig is up, Pattycake,” Remus laughed, shimmying down the comforter and dropping to the carpeted floor with the whisper of a thud. Pulling back from Logan, Patton rushed to meet him. He scooped him up and gently cradled him in both hands, over-sized elf costume bouncing with the movement. He brought him closer for Logan to see.

“Yes. 'Re.' Logan, this is Remus,” he admitted. “He won’t hurt you. He's friendly!”

Sitting criss-cross on Patton’s palm, Remus waved and blew a kiss at Logan. “Hey there, Lo Lo!”

“I know who he is!” Logan cried, hand to his head. “How do you know who he is?”

“You know!?”

“Of course he knows!” The other voice said and a tiny head popped out from Logan’s pocket.

“Oh, hi, Jannie,” Remus said, sounding guilty for the first time that evening.

The tiny person in Logan’s pocket—so this was the friend Remus had talked about—tapped Logan’s side and he moved to retrieve him. Palms flat and close to his chest, he carried him on his hands in a near match to how Patton held Remus.

Though instead of sitting comfortably as Remus did, the other—Jannie—clung to Logan’s tie with one hand and stood, glaring at Remus. “Do you have even a concept of how worried we were?”

“What?” Remus’ grin scrunched into actual concern and he tugged Patton’s sleeve to move closer. “I told you I was going to go see my boyfriend!”

“I thought you meant the orb spider in the backyard!”

Patton shivered at the memory of the spindly striped legs of the giant spider under the deck railing out back. Nestled close to the dryer vent, it had found a cozy spot to spin its webs for the winter.

Remus was quick to soothe him, though, tiny fingers scritchting his palm. “Don’t worry, Patton, it’s not like that with Charlie.”

“Aw, Re…” Patton bowed his head to brush the very lightest of kisses against the top of his head. He must’ve ditched the hat somewhere along his path down from Patton’s bed. “I don’t own you. Just… don’t bring him home, okay?”

“Deal,” Remus grinned, settling back against his palm.

“Wait a minute!”

All eyes turned to Logan. Eyes wild and each cheek dotted with an angry red spot, he looked ready to burst. Remus nodded to Janus in warning just before jumping over to join him on Logan’s hand. Then he climbed up his sleeve and all the way up to his head. Laying on his stomach, he moved his arms and legs, massaging his scalp. Janus followed a similar path up his other arm but stopped on his shoulder, gently stroking his jaw.

Patton took Logan's now-empty hand.

“You’ve got our attention, Lo Lo,” Remus said, voice only slightly muffled by Logan’s hair.

“Patton,” he began through clenched teeth. He searched his eyes. “How long have you known?”

Guilt pricked his belly and he squeezed Logan’s hand. “I met Remus just after your classes started.”

“What!?” Janus cried, glaring up at Remus on top of Logan’s head. “So when you said we should tell Logan first, Patton already knew?”

Remus gave him his best smile and shrugged.

“Yeah…” He twirled a bit of Logan’s hair in his hands. “I thought it’d be funny.” Logan looked like he wanted to be mad, but Remus’ fiddling seemed to have the same effect on Logan as it had on him. His shoulders had dropped, arms only loosely crossed over his chest but then he’d frown, jaw suddenly clenched. It wouldn't last, though.

“I didn’t think anybody’d be able to keep the secrets up this long,” Remus explained after a moment. “I’m proud of you, Pattycake.” He winked and, despite the lingering annoyance in his brother’s gaze, Patton couldn’t stop his cheeks from warming.

Logan sighed and looked up, head tilted ever so slightly. “Remus, precisely how long ago did you make this particular change?” he asked, voice softer now.

“Oh, this?” he grinned, waggling his arms until the elf’s too-long sleeves flapped over his hands. The bells on the felt boots jangled with the movement. “This was just today.”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am disappointed in my lack of awareness and attention to detail,” he murmured and Janus slid closer, pressing a kiss just under his ear.

“Remus can be quite stealthy when he wishes to be,” he said. Scowling, his tiny face looked stern but pride warmed his voice. “You might be surprised by how often he’s been able to catch even me unawares.”

Remus shimmied back down and jumped to Logan’s shoulder. “It’s a gift,” he laughed and reached for Patton.

He gathered him up and smiled at his brother. “So now the secret’s out, maybe we can all go downstairs?” Looking at Janus happily perched on Logan’s shoulder, he grinned. His newest friend bowed his head in return with a matching smile. “Get everyone acquainted?”

“Hm? Ye—yes,” Logan blinked, glancing between him and Patton. “Yes, of course.” But the wheels still turned behind his eyes. “There was something you said…” he murmured and moved Janus to his palm. Arms outstretched, he peered at each of them in turn. “Remus, you said you’d gone to see your boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah,” Remus grinned, laying across Patton’s shoulder. He tickled his neck, laughing at the little squeak Patton couldn’t quite hide.

“Boyfriend.” Logan repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t seem all that different from you, Big Bro,” Patton grinned back. Janus half-sat, half-lay on Logan’s palm, smiling as Logan’s thumb seemed to unconsciously stroke his back.

Logan followed his gaze and blushed.

“Perhaps, well…” He cleared his throat. “Well, yes, I suppose that would not be… inaccurate,” he said, cheeks pinker than Patton had seen them in years. “Tea?” he asked, changing the subject and heading out into the hall. Janus’ low chuckle carried back to them and Patton followed, Remus on his shoulder.

“How ‘bout a hot toddy?” he called back.

“Remus!”

~

And, for a treat, here's one of the poses Remus kept up for over an hour on that mantle piece.

Credit: Photographer unknown, from an elf on the shelf posting found on Facebook Marketplace

[pjxckson]

“Were you expecting someone else? You should know by now that your god doesn’t answer your prayers.”

[Goddess Sirius and her newest disciple, nun Remus, for @achilleslikespeas 😘]

Extras below the cut

[poitionsprince]

Jewish!Severus Snape 🤝🏼 Jewish!Remus Lupin

Being asked why they're eating giant crackers during Passover

[poseidons-getting-milk]

werewolf Remus Lupin x vampire Sirius Black is 10x more romantic than anything Twilight could ever even think of being

[lexithwrites]

Watching X-Men and my god imagine Regulus with Rogue’s powers and Remus with Wolverine’s BRO

[goblinpuppy35]

David Thewlis

James and the Giant Peach Interview - 1996

Part 2/2

[lulublack90]

Prompt 17 - Dust

@jegulus-microfic June 17, Word count 585

Previous part First part

James thrust the giant lion teddy into Regulus’s hands. He’d won it at the basketball stall. He beamed happily at Regulus’s stunned face. Remus had a matching look as he stared down at the giant wolf teddy Sirius had pressed into his hands. 

“Thanks,” Regulus finally smiled after he’d collected himself. 

“Thanks,” Remus echoed Regulus. Sirius grinned broadly and tossed James the keys to his car. 

“You know where you’re going,” He said before dragging Remus into the backseat. 

“Ugh,” Regulus groaned. “They’re going to be gross,” James chuckled and led Regulus over to his side of the car. 

“They can’t reach the radio from back there, and I’ve heard that screaming chimps are supposed to be excellent for a driver’s concentration.” His stomach flipped when he saw the devilish look firmly plant itself on his boyfriend’s face. 

“How about something for the ride,” He heard Regulus say cheerily as he walked to the driver’s side of the car. 

James was glad his house was only ten minutes down the road and that the roads were mostly clear because the screaming chimps coming over the speakers and the equally loud screaming chimp in the back seat, cleverly disguised as a man with long black hair, were not good for a driver's concentration. He pulled into the gravelled driveway and crunched his way up to the house, relief flooding over him. 

“Damn, Potter, are you loaded or something?” Remus asked, pushing Sirius back from between the front seats where he’d been trying to reach the radio, fighting against Regulus for the last ten minutes. James felt his neck flush with embarrassment. 

“It’s my parent’s house, but yeah, the family is pretty wealthy. My dad invented the Harmony Hair Range.”

“NO WAY!!!” Sirius shoved Remus aside and yipped excitedly into James’s ear. “That’s what I use!”

“Wow,” Was all Regulus said, as he looked at the outside of the house again. He desperately needed to get them off the subject.   

“Come on, let’s get inside or Mum’s going to come out and drag us in by our hair,” He watched as Sirius automatically gripped his curly hair as though she was already heading towards them. 

He opened the front door and breathed in the smell of his childhood home. He loved this house. It might look immaculate to the untrained eye. Everything was tidy and not a speck of dust to be seen. But James could easily pick out the notch in the door frame where he’d crashed his brand-new bike when he was five. The glass pane on the left that was slightly different to the others where he’d tried to kick his shoe off and sent it sailing through the window, the discolouration in one spot on the ceiling where he’d decided it would be a good idea to test out the coke/mentos theory. It worked, and he’d been grounded for a month.

“Darlings, you're just in time,” Effie called to them as she entered the living room and enveloped each of them in a hug before ushering them into the dining room. James turned and pecked a kiss on her cheek before she could disappear to the kitchen to bring everything through. 

“Do you want a hand, Mum?” He asked quietly. 

“No, sweetheart, you go sit down, I won’t be a moment,” She replied, pushing him gently towards where Regulus was standing awkwardly. “Besides, I think he needs your help more than I do,” She said chuckling before twilling around into the kitchen.   

Next part

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

Giving Remus one of those giant lollipops (I do not trust him to be normal with it)

Give Ree anything giant in general and that chaotic Duke does not have any ounce of innocent plan behind those eyes with it XD

[schmem14]

Hello friends! Recently, I participated in the fourth HP Rare Pair fest, and with 81 unique and beautiful entries it was a veritable FEAST for the eyes and heart and soul. (Check out the whole collection here)

I wanted to take a moment to post highlights of the fics that just really brought me to my knees in hopes that you’ll fangirl/boy/person over them with me!

1. Evergreen by @thecouchsofa (23k)- Harry Potter x George Weasley What would happen if Harry asked George to go to the Yule Ball with him instead of Parvati? This GOF Yule Ball AU is sure to slay you with sheer adorableness. I couldn’t stop smiling and squealing through the whole thing. This rare pair is one of my favorites, and this fic went above and beyond, plus it’s the perfect holiday read! Rating: T

2. Lonely Creatures by @apricitydays-lazynights (5k)- Severus Snape x Giant Squid The prompt to put these two together could easily have been pure hentai crack nonsense (which is a brilliant option) but this story did things to me that I can’t even put into words. It’s tender, melancholy, and cuts to the heart of Severus Snape’s isolation and longing to be seen and loved. The details of this are so richly woven, and I particularly enjoyed the authors’ focus on Mermlish/Merfolk. Standing ovation to this fic! Rating: E

3. Slice of Night by SquibNation10 (9k)- Aurora Sinistra x Severus Snape This was the fic that took me the most by surprise. I love the creativity in taking a character who gets very few canon details and making them real and beautiful and believable. Auror Sinistra is divine in this, and I’ll give some honorable mentions to both Argus Filch and Rolanda Hooch as excellent supporting characters that also don’t typcially get a lot of spotlight. What a gorgeous slice of life fic! Rating: T

3. Quick Quotes and Quibbles by RainstormRadish (3k)- Luna Lovegood x Rita Skeeter Rita and Luna have to work together to cover the wedding of Neville Longbottom and Pansy Parkinson. There’s just something about a story told in unconventional medium that will always ALWAYS pull me in! This unlikely pairing comes together in the sweetest way, their strong personalities balancing each other out until they become a formidable team.  I particularly loved the graphics and paper trail memos/epistolary style storytelling. Rating: T

4. Your seat, it’s the best seat by @the-houseryn (17k)- Ron Weasley x Draco Malfoy MOVE OVER only one bed, there’s a new trope in town and it’s the ONLY ONE SEAT trope!! This was sexy, flirtatous, and hot AF. I’m always down for a Dron fic, but this one is one of the best I’ve read in a while, with some delicious pining and a predictably oblivious Ron. Do yourself a favor and indulge in the lap-sitting fic of the year! Rating: E

5. Vivaldi and Hot Chocolate by @patriceavril (6k)- Percy Weasley x Stan Shunpike What was Percy up to in OTP/HBP? What a lonely life that must have been! This fic was soft and sweet, giving some much-needed love to a character that we all wrote off in canon for being a stuck-up prick. I love how Percy seeks out the warmth and comfort of the Knight Bus, coming back for more because of the kind-hearted and bubbly Stan Shunpike, who always insists on giving Percy free hot chocolate. I never expected to be so enamoured by this pairing, but I am! Rating: T

6. The monster you feed by @ghostfelicis188 (11k)- Regulus Black x Remus Lupin This canon-compliant fic tore me to shreds. TO SHREDS. Like, I am such a simp for tragic Remus romances, and this took the cake. Features: pining artist Remus, and shit-eating cruel Regulus who toys with Remus the whole damn fic. If you like hurt no comfort, this is the fic for you. *Chefs Kiss* Rating: M

7. Gilded Web by @emilyrickman AlihotsyTotsy (8k)- George Weasley x Blaise Zabini I cannot believe that this understated fic packed such a punch in 8,000 words. George agrees to an undercover operation to investigate the mysterious deaths of Mrs. Zabini’s deceased husbands. He is so pure in this, his characterization charming and believable, I just need more of this George! Bonus points for references to “the Sting” Rating: M

8. Sleeping with Ghosts by @ghaniblue (21k)- Harry Potter x Regulus Black x Draco Malfoy My initial thoughts when encountering this relationship tag was something akin to a bewildered head scratch but OMG the best thing about this fest is having expectations completely upended! This fic slayed hard with a slow burn, found family, semi-sentient house renovation angle that had me completely melted by the end. Rating: M

9. The Last Trial of Peter Petegrew by @sleepstxtic (20 k)- Peter Petegrew x James Potter If possible, I’d like to ram this fic down the throats of all my mutuals with a plea to PLEASE READ THIS FIC. I can’t begin to describe in a tiny paragraph what this did to me. Often Peter Petegrew is relegated to the traitor bus in fandom (understandable) but this took every mean and traitorous part of his character and made me almost like him despite his treachery! The format of this was also a delight to read, and I love that Hermione presents the case for Peter Petegrew in this meta purgatory-style courtroom drama. Rating: M

10. Anatomy of a memory by @venom0usbarbie (9k)- Ginny Weasley x Tom Riddle This story was pure poetry wrapped in a sinister diary-shaped package. I love the self-fulfilling prophecy nature of this time loop style storyline, as well as the toxic obsession and manipulation played out between Ginny and Tom. What a mindfuck ending that was, too! Kudos to the “Tom Riddle is his own Warning” tag. Rating: M

11. Sweet Boy by @maraudersaffair (6k)- Narcissa Black Malfoy x Harry Potter A not-quite-fake dating fic with lots of smut, thirst, and mommy/praise kink? Yes, please! I was literally panting by the end of this, Harry and Narcissa are so hot together! Rating: E

12. Growing Suspicion by nocturn (1.8k)- Neville Longbottom x Marcus Flint Someone keeps mutilating Neville’s plants, and he’s going to get to the bottom of it OR that time Marcus expresses feelings but doesn’t understand proper plant care. This fic was A-DOR-ABLE. Love me a good Hogwarts professors/staff fic, and this was just a bite-sized delight to read. Rating: G

13. For Your Burning Gaze by SquibNation10 (22k)- Neville Longbottom x Pansy Parkinson The fic that I most want to see a sequel for award goes to… this Twilight Zone post-war marriage law fic complete with creepy house elves and a very troubled Pansy, who seems to be the only one realizing that something is not quite right! This is one of the best Panville fics I’ve read, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Rating: E

Thanks to @hprarepairfest for putting on another amazing fest!