#going thru my own sketchbooks for inspiration >>>>>>>

[loomingtranssexual]

hand-drafts for weaving, posca pen on graph paper, 2022-2023

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[wrishwrosh]

8, 10, 22, 25! (also would love to know more about the reading journal, I am wanting to start one next year but need a bit of inspiration)

thank u!

8. did you meet any of your reading goals?

i dont usually set reading goals other than “read!!:)” however my project this year was to replace 8-14 Hours Of Phone Per Day at least partially with reading a book. middling success as phone is very strong.

10. what was your favorite new release of this year?

ok going thru i…..dont think i actually read any new releases? i read a handful of 2022 books and the rest were old. newEST release that i loved was earthlings by sayaka murata (book so viscerally unsettling it genuinely almost made me throw up on the train. in a good way!) every other newish release i tried this year i did not end up liking, on a scale from boredom to blood feud with the author

22. what’s the longest book you read?

either barkskins by annie proulx or the name of the rose by umberto eco. i love a giant historical fiction Tome!!

25. what reading goals do you have for next year?

read!!:) tho actually i would like to make a stronger effort to chip away at the pile of random used classics ive collected. im staring down the $2 nabokov paperbacks i bought in a fit of inspiration after finishing lolita and im feeling guilty.

also thank you for asking about my book journal!! my pride and joy, my own child who i love to brag about, probably genuinely the one thing i would try to rescue if my apartment was on fire. it’s a pretty simple setup: blank sketchbook with a page for each book i read in chronological order and a section at the beginning of the year for a list of nonfiction books/rereads (dont get their own pages)

for each book, I write down title, author, month finished, and a summary. then for subjective stuff i include a star rating, a couple of adjectives that convey the tone or feeling of the book as i read, and some bullet points of any thoughts i had about the book (not all GOOD thoughts or cogent analysis, also lots of dumb jokes.) then any left over space is for stickers or thematic collage :)) it’s kind of a bitch to keep up with but i find it a very rewarding way to reflect on what i liked or disliked in a book and kind of hone that critical eye privately. also i now have a complete snapshot of my thoughts on every book ive read since i was 19 which, obviously, i treasure. anyway here are some sample pages from last years section

[rachymarie]

Omg i had such a weird dream that my twin's old best friend we hadn't seen for many years was with us and when I told her I'd been curious about her she suddenly turned into a partial giant butterfly and started feeding on me mercilessly lol her long black butterfly tongue was sooo strong I couldn't get her off me and she was depleting my energy/lifeforce

Maybe I been watching too much Grimm lol. Also have been having many dreams every night, think the change of season is getting my brain all funky again.

Oh i also designed a fashion top in my sleep... so... go me i guess?

But half of me is suspicious that maybe it's not an original design that I came up with - that I've seen that design before and my brain just reproduced it since we allegedly can't create new things (or was it human faces specifically?) we haven't seen in our dreams. Or maybe it was actually inspired by sketches from my own sketchbooks since I flipped thru them the other week? Hmm 🤔 much to think on

[the-acid-pear-art]

Went thru my old sketchbooks and found my old Undertale ocs (and self insert lol but more on them later-)

Bit of lore under the cut lol

I think their lore was something like... 4 friends, Addams and Sabrina are siblings, Zenda has a crush on Sabrina. At some point, Sabrina somehow... Disappears? And this tears the friend group apart. And Jackly for some reason knew something about it. By the time the human falls in the underground Jackly is more lonely than cyclops eye.

If not obvious by now Jackly was the most relevant of them he was my pretty little guy my skrimblo my- you get it. He also was a bit of a sans, because of course he was. But also in retrospective I feel like he resembles more Undyne. Anyway, he fights you only if you kill his (former) friends. But you know he was inspired by sans, look at him wearing Addams' scarf and holding Zenda's umbrella!

By the way, Zenda was a resident of Waterfalls and the siblings of Snowdin. Jackly, however, is fucking homeless so I guess he just hangs around?

That's actually mentioned in the bottom left image, which I won't translate because it's a lot of text and SOOO cheesy lmao. But I will say, there's something there about Jackly's dad studying determination which is ??? I have no idea what I meant by that, like, was his dad fucking gaster? JWTWJDDHJD FUCKING FORGOTTEN LORE OF MY OWN OCS MAN . . .

He does also mention loving sweets which is canon he's a sweet tooth.

Enough of Jackly tho let me talk a little about the others, who aren't as fleshed out but hey! They are there.

First there's Zenda, who was a lesbian because I was still a kid questioning my sexuality and I always had to add a lesbian into my oc groups. She's a goth and she's grumpy and a snarker AND I have no fucking idea what happened to her eye.

I mean there's this other drawing which... Feels related. Look at that, who's that purple guy? A genderbend? A brother? Second guy looks extremely similar to Addams too. I don't know why I brought this up, these were one off sketches, but I digress.

Addams is a shy guy. Very shy, very quiet, his sister, someone extremely close to him disappearing definitely didn't help. I think he had a weird gay thing with Jackly but Jackly is literally so aro I don't even know.

Last there's Sabrina!

I have no fucking idea what's going on with Sabrina.

Like I think in my old lore it was almost IMPLIED she did this on purpose? Or maybe not, but I remember her not being upset in the slightlest, which you can very much see. She's all dead and disheveled and stuff and she's still like 😁. She also somehow could reach out to Jackly which, I mean... you could almost read that as a hallucination. 😳

One last fun little thing to point out tho!

These guys are SO old the whole "humans and monsters have different souls" things wasn't extremely common knowledge, hence why you can see em with colored souls.

To be honest, I'm almost tempted to remake them but as Deltarune ocs, sort of as bookends y'know? I think it would be cute ksgdjvdjeg

[ranger-jedi-knight]

This Little Angel Part 2

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201565/chapters/59881333 Taglist: @chocolate1721 @tiny-goddess-of-chaos @amayakans @cutechip @more-or-less-human-i-guess 

Ok, so here’s the much requested second chap!! I hope you guys enjoy it!!

Mari was excited as she looked around the private jet Bruce was taking them home on. She kept looking up and down at her sketchbook as she sketched a few things from the inspiration. Harley and Joker were on the plane too, Mari and the others had a moment of surprise when Joker had taken all his make-up and what not off leaving him looking very normal. Not that they couldn’t blame him. They can’t exactly petition Paris to give her custody back over to her criminal parent JOKER. So they had to look normal. Harley was going by her real name Harleen and Joker was going by Jack.

It may have been illegal to forge some documents but it was for the better. She was in all rights Harley and Joker’s daughter. But, no one outside of Gotham was going to accept that. So, they may have asked Babs and Tim to hack and make official paperwork saying that she was adopted at age 3 by Jack and Harleen Quinzel. Then have it known that at around age 10 she was kidnapped and trafficked resulting in their divorce.

Even Gordon agreed to it since he knew how much Harley and Joker cared for her. Their worried attack to search the city when she first disappeared was proof of that! And having her back, they were sure Joker would return back to normal, doing more innocent attacks, using the venom only on HUGE heists that happened less and less. Becoming more of a nuisance than a real big baddie.

And they could only do that if they had official US documentation of Mari’s adoption to them. So, they did a little illegal hacking to do it. But no one outside of their group had to know that. Mari reached down to pat her purse as they crossed into France, getting closer to Paris. It was the next day so no doubt her class was going to be in class. She did wonder tho if classes were easy today for everyone because of the trip.

She suggested it, but she wondered if Bustier would follow it.

They soon landed at the airport and both Chloe and Damian took one of her hands into theirs. She was so glad that Bruce had come with and let Damian join. They exited the plane and got their suitcases.

Chloe’s driver was there already and took them to the hotel where they were all staying. Mari was to stay in Chloe’s suit as a neutral place while that whole case went down. Gordon was sharing a room with Joker and Harley to keep them in check, which he doubted they needed but better to be safe. While Bruce and Damian had their own.

After dropping their bags off, Bruce, Gordon, Harley, and Joker went to the French Police and child services to deal with the case about Mari’s future. Meanwhile, Mari and Chloe went to the school to tell them due to a case they wouldn’t bee in class for some time. But they would keep up with their studies while the case went on.

Damian decided to go with them but would stay in the car-limo actually. Mari took a deep breath when they stopped in front of the school. She gave the two a small smile when they squeezed her hands. The two slowly slid out of the limo and made their way into the school and up to Principal Damocles’s office. It was a quick thing to inform him of what happened and about a case being opened.

So Damocles agreed and understood that they wouldn’t be in class and just said to either put their work into Bustier’s mailbox in the school or to give it to him. Now it was time to face Ms. Bustier and tell her. They reached her classroom and Mari raised a hand to knock. Bustier opened the door and glared at the two girls before pulling them into the classroom.

“Girls, I don’t know what has gotten into. First, you purposefully miss the flight home for attention, and now come to class late? What do you have to say for yourselves? It better be good otherwise I’ll be sending you to the principal’s office,” Bustier said annoyed and the two shared a dumbfounded look while the rest of the class laughed.

“Ya Marinette, I can’t believe you’d stoop so low like that!” Alya shouted before looking at Bustier once more. “Also, Ms. Bustier, Marinette sent Lila horrible texts this morning. They should be sent to the principal’s office for bullying!” she yelled and the class shouted their agreement. “Oh really? Girls?” Bustier was fully glaring at the two now.

“I can prove that Lila lied there. I haven’t touched my phone all morning since I turned it off when I got onto my flight home this morning and turned it on when we got off,” Mari said pulling out her phone to show a tweet she made from Gotham time of 2 am getting onto a private jet and then making a tweet at 11 am getting off the jet and into Chloe’s limo. “See? You’d see that for the time it took to fly, my phone was off, the exact time that I ‘supposedly’-” she put in air quotes “-sent horrible texts to Lila. even you know that you can’t do anything on a phone while flying,” she finished and Alya grumbled and glared at the girl, somehow thinking she was lying still.

“As for that flight thing and late,” Chloe said looking at her nails not even bothering to glare at Bustier, “you guys left us in Gotham even tho Mari’s reunion with her parents was very public. Not to mention you didn’t even headcount. So really, you’re too blame for that,” Chloe said and Bustier opened her mouth but Chloe cut her off with a raised hand. “And for the late, we just arrived an hour ago in Paris and had to drop our bags off. We just came here from Damocle’s office saying we won’t be in class for some time due to a case being opened up that we’ll be a part of. Now, we ought to be going,” she grabbed Mari’s hand and started walking out before glancing back in with a smirk. “You guys should be expecting some suits to show up later too~!” she called out smirking before leaving.

Bustier glared at the door, planning on talking to Damocle’s at lunch about their behavior.

They entered the limo and Mari leaned against Damian’s shoulder as they went to the hotel and stayed there.

The following week is hectic, to say the least. Mari is going between talking at family court and facing akumas and ignoring her ex-friends and parents. Tom and Sabine didn’t appreciate Mari saying that Lila indeed lied to them when they asked about where she was. They also didn’t appreciate being investigated along with their workers, friends, and customers. They thought they were star parents and didn’t deserve this.

Before court, they tried guilting Mari into not suing them or her friends. Chloe and Damian had to pull her away before she caved with her lawyer threatening them. As it was, they informed the judge of it, and the Judge was not amused at that. It was tough, so very tough, but in the end, the Judge decided that Mari was to stay with Harleen and Jack in joint custody. While they were separated, it was clear they loved and missed their daughter. Meanwhile, Tom and Sabine had to pay for it. They were banned from adopting kids until they took some classes and had proven they would take care of and love a child correctly and not work them.

After that, it was time to focus on suing her classmates for harassment and the school for negligence. Now that would take longer to deal with. The family court only took 4 days to deal with it. She could only sigh at the break she got between it after finishing the family case. They gave her the next day to rest before jumping into the next cases against students and the school.

Tho, that had her giving another sigh of relief as a few classmates agreed to the terms easily when they were told off by Jack and Harleen about how they should know her from the 6 years they’ve known each other. And then Bruce coming in to serve Lila papers for slander. That had the whole class shouting as then another lawyer came in with all the other celebrities she’s lied about suing her.

Ladybug sighed as she landed in an alley nearby after defeating the Akuma. She leaned against the wall and slid down as her transformation died. Her head fell back against the wall with her eyes closed. A gasp ringing thru the air had her eyes flinging open tho.

She looked around and her eyes landed on Joker and Harley standing at the entrance. “Mama? Papa?” she called and the two came to her and kneeled down in front of her. “What are-did you-?” she cut off, worry filling her veins.

“We know now sweetie. We followed Ladybug to see how long this has been happening and if you were in trouble at all,” Harley said cupping her daughter’s cheek and Mari leaned into the touch with a sigh.

“This has been going on since I was 13. I’ve tried figuring out who Hawkmoth is but I’ve been having trouble. My partner hasn’t been any help tho,” she said softly and watched as her parents got angry.

“And this whole time you’ve had to deal with those idiotic sheep called classmates the whole time?” Joker demanded and Mari bit her lip.

“Just for the last year or so when Lila appeared,” she explained watching as her parents got more upset.

“Please calm down tho!” Tikki called floating in front of them causing their anger to dissipate a bit as confusion went thru them.

“Who are ya?��� Harley asked, sticking a finger out pocking the paw Tikki held out.

“I’m Tikki, Marinette’s Kwami! I’m what allows her to transform into Ladybug,” she explained and the two slowly nodded. So once that confusion was clear she elaborated on her first comment. “You two need to calm down tho. Hawkmoth can feel any negative emotions and feed off them! So far only two people have fought him off and I’m sure Mari wouldn’t want to fight her parents,” she explained and the girl nodded her agreement.

“I don’t wanna fight you, mama, papa,” she said as Harley then pulled her into a hug that Mari returned. Joker stiffened tho causing the two to pull back to look at him worried. Mari gasped when she saw the outline surrounding his eyes. “Papa!” she cried out.

“Oh, so your that punk-ass bitch terrorizing everyone. Well, listen here, mothy. You are an insult to villains everywhere. You hide away and make others do the work for you. You make children fight your battle, you punk-ass bitch. So let me say this, the reason I’m upset is because of you terrorizing my daughter while facing the stress of her classmate’s harassment. The moment I find you, Mothy, I’m going to make you regret everything you’ve ever done. And don’t you try saying that I can’t. Do you know who I am? I’m the Joker, Clown Prince of Gotham. Oh yes, you have heard of me. Then you know I don’t make light threats. I will make your life a living hell. Do I make myself clear?” he asked and cackled when a pure white butterfly flew away hastily. “Well, he won’t try bugging me anymore,” he said and a sudden laugh left Mari’s lips.

Her parents looked at her fondly as she laughed. “Why don’t we head home now, sweetie?” Harley suggested and Joker nodded agreement. The two help Mari up and make their way to the hotel they were staying at.

“Since you know now. I’m Ladybug, I’m also the guardian of the Miraculous. I....I need to defeat Hawkmoth before I can leave,” she said softly when they reached their room and the two nodded understanding.

“Of course, sweetie. We’ll stay here as long as it takes,” Harley said as Joker hummed as they sat down on a couch.

“What if Batsy could help?” he asked and Mari hummed in thought.

“It could get done quicker,” she admitted and Joker nodded.

“That’s what I thought. Let me go talk to someone,” Joker said standing up and leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ladybug stood at the top of the Eiffel Tower. She tilted her head slightly when she saw movement. Two people soon landed in front of her and she tilted her head. “Batman, Robin,” she greeted and the two nodded to her.

“So your Ladybug,” Batman said and she nodded. “What did you need help with? You seem to be doing everything very well,” he commented and Ladybug shrugged uncomfortably.

“Well, that may be. I’m not a detective. I don’t know how to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity. So I need your help to do that. I’m done with Paris. I want to leave,” she said and the two nodded slowly. They could only guess that she was done with Paris in her personal life seeing as everyone has the greatest respect for Ladybug.

“Ok, we can help with that,” Batman said with the smallest of nods.

“There’s something else,” she said, trailing off as she looked off into the distance.

“M’Lady! You didn’t tell me we would be having company~” Chat purred out leaning in close while glaring at everyone. Ladybug frowned as she pushed Chat away from her, earning a growl from him.

“That’s because we,” she pointed between him and herself, “never had anything planned. This was a planned meeting between myself and Batman and Robin,” she said glaring and Chat was angry at that.

“Oh really? Is that any way to treat your partner, m’lady?” he demanded and Ladybug scowled.

“You haven’t been my partner in a while, Chat,” she spat his name out. “You stopped being it when you decided flirting and whining was more important than defeated the Akuma’s,” she said and Chat scoffed.

“Please, your cure will bring everything back,” he said and Ladybug gnashed her teeth together as she stomped up to Chat and slapped him hard across the face.

“I don’t care that my cure can bring everything back. We shouldn’t rely on it. What if that battle is the one Hawkmoth wins? He does his wish. There’s no telling what will happen. Except that those people who are dead will most definitely stay dead. And because of your lazy ass, I now how to protect you as well which means that more people can get hurt or killed. Did you know that people remember dying? They remember that moment. They are traumatized by that moment. They cannot ever forget that moment. And that is all on you!” she shouted angrily.

“So what!?” he demanded and everyone was silent at that. How could they respond to that!? Ladybug was shaking in anger. She had a terrifying expression on her face that somehow was both ice cold and encompassed all seven levels of hell angry.

Chat didn’t even get to react.

Before he knew it, he was on the ground tied up and sore all over.

“Chat Noir, I hereby proclaim you unfit to wield a Miraculous. As Guardian of the Miraculous, I hereby reclaim you’re Miraculous of the Black Cat. You are unworthy and will never be able to wear or use a Miraculous ever again,” Ladybug said ripping the ring off of Chat to reveal Adrien Agreste underneath the mask. Ladybug snarled at him as he cried out. A red mark similar to the one of the box, formed on his chest and hand, burning.

“No! You can’t do that! He’s all I have left!” he shouted reaching out when Ladybug untied him.

She slapped his hand away. “No, I can do that. You’ve shown yourself to be incompetent in being a hero. You only have yourself to blame,” she said turning away. “Let’s go,” she said swinging off, not even seeing if the other two followed. She landed on the balcony leading to her parent’s room, leaving the two vigilantes confused. Mari stumbled into the room and collapsed onto the couch with a groan as she transformed.

“Mari?” Robin asked causing her to groan once more as she looked up at them blearily.

“You followed,” she mumbled before planting her face on the couch once more.

“Mari needs to rest now,” Tikki said flying up to look at both Batman and Robin. The two looked at her shocked.

“Who are you?” Robin asked.

“I am Tikki, Kwami of Creation. I’m what gives Mari her powers,” she explained and the two nodded. “But go, she needs to rest. What she did exhausted her, it’d no simple thing for a Guardian to ban someone from ever using a Miraculous again. We’ll talk in the morning,” Tikki said and the two nodded, heading to their room.

In the morning, they did talk.

In the morning, Mari learned that Robin and Batman were Damian and Bruce Wayne.

Within the week, they had taken down Hawkmoth and revealed to the world that Gabriel Agreste was a terrorist.

Adrien revealed himself as Chat Noir which brought about mixed responses. No one really respected Chat, at least not the people that he needed to. Especially when they learned he was stripped of the Miraculous. For all the harassment, endangering, and enabling he’s done, along with not feeling guilty about just outraged that he was being punished, he was going to a school for troubled kids and put on record as a harasser. He would be going to juvie for 6 months tho first before being sent out of Paris to the school. His father’s company tho, the courts would decide what to do with when he turns 18. But who knows how it’ll look like when Adrien is 18.

Mari felt a bit bad but knew it was for the best. Lila was the next worst off. Lila had piles of lawsuits. She was banned from France as a whole with everyone knowing what she’s done. She was going to a military school for troubled teens in the hopes she’d get better. She’d stay with her grandparents who were no-nonsense. She’d also have to pay for all the suits which would be hard considering not many people wanted to hire her.

The rest of the class had it off easiest. They only had to pay a fine and do a bit of community service. Damocles was demoted and sent to classes to see if he could possibly return to being a principal. Ms. Bustier, however, was fired. She didn’t handle the situation well at all, and only ever listened to one side of the argument and pressured students. So she isn’t allowed to teach kids anymore.

The class tho, they felt they lost the worst.

They realized just how amazing Mari was to them. And what they did to her in return for that kindness? They treated her horribly. Only Chloe was able to talk to her. But they all got to see how well she was settling into her new life in Gotham. It was hard to miss really.

She was dating Damian Wayne and got an internship with Bruce Wayne to help start up her business as MDC. She was called the Angel of Gotham. Chloe joined her there and lived with Mari and her parents.

And she looked so happy back home in Gotham.

They were never making it up to Mari, no matter how hard they tried.

Ok, so here’s the second part!! I hope you like it. Sorry if the ending seems a TAD rushed. I wanted to give you guys this and i was losing steam on it, mostly a headache comin in goin ‘HAHAHA U THOUGHT UD WRITE?! THINK AGAIN AHAHAHAHAH’. Ya, so that’s why. Anyways, until next time! -Love Willa <3<3<3

[mrfutureboy]

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

[iraprince]

do u have any advice for forcing past 50 layers of self loathing in order to work on practicing art? i know i gotta Just Do It to get better and i've gotten a lot better in the past few months thru consistent practice!! but some days i sit down to do it and immediately get hit with a feeling of You Will Never Be Good Enough And That Makes You A Bad Person that i really struggle to get past :/ i rly resonate w your posts about mental illness/health so i thought i'd ask! hope you have a good week!

it’s hard! it’s fucking hard. it takes constant daily practice -- not just at art but practice at being kind to yourself -- and it takes a long time, at least in my experience.

the first and most important thing, which you’ve probably already heard a billion times and are sick of hearing bc it’s so much easier said than done, is to try your best to stop comparing yourself to others. constantly holding yourself up to artists who are more technically adept/more polished than yourself will poison ur heart and brain and make it so, so much harder for u to focus on ur own craft. if you really, REALLY can’t turn that comparison/jealousy/stress into inspiration rn, it may mean you just have to actually limit the amount of time u spend looking at work that creates that ache in you, yknow? and so the flip side of this advice is another piece of advice i’ve given before, which is that u should surround yourself w people who are kind of roughly in the same “stage” of their creative journey as u. connect w other artists who are struggling w their confidence, other artists who don’t have much of an audience, other artists who are still trying to get their technical level to where they want it -- people who are going through stuff you relate to personally, instead of just following artists who you feel are already “way better” than u so all u feel when u look at their stuff is “my stuff will never look like that.” if u already do, that’s fantastic! lean into your interactions w them, learn from each other, and remind yourself constantly that FAR more people are in your boat (where we all have stuff artwise that we’re insecure about and we’re all trying really hard to get better and get our stuff out there) vs like, the amount of artists who are just “Good Enough!” and have settled there and are just chillin is comparatively very very small. MOST people feel exactly the way you do.

i also have a thread i wrote on twitter about how to deal with and work around the discouragement of not being technically skilled enough to draw what’s in your head. tldr: while you are in stages where you’re not happy with your skill level (which are feelings that will fade, and then come back, over and over again, for as long as you draw), instead of giving up, try to be realistic AND proactive and change the internal monologue from “i’m not good enough to draw this :(” to “okay. i’ll just frustrate myself if i keep trying to draw plan A. what’s a plan B that’s more realistic with my skill level?”

another thing it took me forever to learn is that everything doesn’t have to be posted. a lot of times a piece i was in the middle of wouldn’t actually be AWFUL, but it wouldn’t be “good enough to post,” so i’d convince myself i hated it. i spent ages thinking of every single drawing i ever made in terms of “is this polished enough to post, if i post this will anyone like/retweet/reblog this, will this make me look like i’m shitty at drawing if i post it,” blah blah blah blah blah, and finally realizing that u can just. MAKE drawings that aren’t that good, and nobody EVER has to see them if u don’t want them to and that doesn’t mean the drawing was a waste of time, was a revelation for me tbh. and i still struggle w feeling like any drawing that i don’t post and get validation on is a “waste” or like, pointless, but i’m training myself out of that and it helps a lot. sort of connected to this, try your BEST not to scrap drawings halfway through when you don’t like how they’re coming out. really really try to push through and finish crappy drawings. nobody has to know, and you’ll progress faster by making yourself finish things instead of giving up on a string of a dozen half-drawn heads.

aaaaaand finally: when drawing stops being fun and starts being something you’re torturing yourself with, maybe it’s time to go do something else for a while. like, i think utilizing this advice effectively requires having a really honest and realistic self-dialogue, bc literally the last thing i said before this was “make yourself do things you don’t want to do” and i don’t want this advice to turn into “well every single time i get frustrated that means it’s time to give up on practice for the day,” obviously. but i mean there IS a line between gritting your teeth and pushing through dull/embarrassing/just not super fun practice for the greater good, vs torturing yourself banging your head against a wall for hours at something that’s not making you happy. sometimes if you hit a plateau or you just can’t find any joy or contentment in trying that just means you’re creatively depleted. you need to rest and go soak in some inspiration and just get away from your tablet/sketchbook for a while and that’s so normal. besides, you’re already doing fine: from the way you phrase this, you HAVE been consistently practicing, and it’s just that some days you’re tired and fed up and you can’t do it. there’s nothing weird about that! that’s how everyone is! so, you know: work hard, play hard, but be nice to yourself and cut yourself a little more slack. you’ll get there and it’s not a race.

[andytfish]

FREELANCE GUiDANCE: A 10 Part Series - #3 Setting Up Work Parameters

One of the benefits of Freelancing is the FREEDOM but sometimes too much freedom leads to disorganization and chaos.  Possibly the biggest challenger a Freelancer faces is the ability to be his own boss-- with no one constantly over your shoulder, no fear of a walk thru by the uppity mucks there's plenty of opportunity to slack off, and that will kill your career.

1. ESTABLISH YOUR WORK HOURS - This should be a "general" guide because as I've already covered sometimes creativity cannot be caged. Sometimes that great idea or inspiration comes at 2 in the morning rather than at 9. Everyone is different and this is a find your way kind of rule. During a week of working freelance take occasion to jot down notes of the time and productivity-- you'll likely see a pattern emerge. In my own case I like to get an early start but seldom do. But after years of study I've discovered my peak productivity blocks in the day- 5am-8am and 2pm to 10pm. We'll get into this a bit further below.

2. ESTABLISH A WORK AREA - This is the BIGGEST key for me. I don't allow my work to spread out all over the house. I work ONLY in my studio space. The entire third floor of my house is my office area. It houses my computers, drawing tables, easels, supplies and reference material. I DON'T spend ANY time in there NOT working. You wouldn't drive to your corporate office job so you can search eBay would you? I treat my work area with the same respect.

3. KNOW WHEN A JOB IS NOT THE RIGHT FIT - It’s hard when you're just starting out to turn down a job, but sometimes (especially early on) things come along that are not right for you. I can't draw cute. I can't. Bunnies might start KIND OF cute but eventually they're going to look depraved. It's not in my makeup. Early in my career I would have taken that gig and kept at it killing myself and doing four times the work to make it right for the client. Now I know better. You turn down the WRONG job so you're available when the RIGHT job comes along.

4. DEADLINES TRUMP EVERYTHING - My kids from an early age knew the phrase "Dad's on a deadline" -- which meant I'm a phantom that might pop up out of my studio 2-3 times a week. The Deadline is the thing. I don't miss deadlines. This should not be your every week routine— you need to have a life, but those deadline crunch times are special circumstances.

5. SET UP PRODUCTIVITY - Da Vinci used a similar schedule and I've found this works; 45-90 minute working sessions with breaks in between makes me MUCH more productive.

LET'S GET A LITTLE FURTHER IN-DEPTH to my talking points

1- Establishing Your Work Hours-- I would suggest you even buy yourself an OPEN/CLOSED sign that you can put outside your workroom door.  It doesn't have to be a fancy neon one, it can be a simple cardboard one.  In my studio I use to blowmold ghosts that sit at the edge of my desk-- when they're on I'm working.  It not only lets other people know you're "at work" it gets yourself into the right frame of mind.

Share your working hours with significant others.  Let them know you're going to be struggling to "work from home" and you'll need their help.  They wouldn't walk into your office on Park Avenue with your co-workers all around and your boss down the hall clutching the light bill and saying we need to talk about that neon beer sign you must have on 24 hours a day-- they would wait until you're home from work, and just because work is now home there should be no difference.

They need to understand that work from home does NOT mean you don't work.  It does not mean every elderly relative can expect you to shuttle them around to doctor appointments, it doesn't mean you're instantly the chaperone at juniors Zoo trip.  YOU ARE STILL WORKING just AT HOME.

You’ll need to decide if you are going to follow a standard Monday-Friday work week or will you take Mondays and Tuesdays off?  Resist the urge to not take days off because money is coming in. I strongly advocate days off for your own mental health.   It's easy to swing the opposite direction in Freelance and work 24/7.

One of the first things I wanted when I went Freelance was weekends off.  After years of working in retail I never got to enjoy them.  In retail I had every Sunday and Wednesday off.  SPLIT days-- and I was looking forward to two together.  It seemed like a dream to me.

The downside to being off weekends is so is everyone else.  So those Wednesday trips to the bank or the post office I used to make were a breeze compared to trying to go on Saturday morning.

Now, I schedule days off (and to be honest A Day Off) the week I'm working.  It allows me to better balance projects.  And being completely honest, I LOVE working freelance, sometimes taking a day off is like punishment.  But even on the weeks I don't take a day off I take a morning off, or an afternoon, or an evening-- that works for me.  Starting out-- I'd give yourself at least one day off each week as you're figuring out what works for you.

How About Holidays?   That seems like a no-brainer until you're on that big project and it's due Dec 27th and using the Organizational skills I set up for you in Session 1 you realize you're behind.   Suddenly you have a virtual scale in front of you held by Santa Claus with family and friends on one side and the client on the other.

Deciding up front that it's a hard and fast rule that you won't work CERTAIN holidays is a concession I made right away.   I don't work on Christmas-- in fact I don't work two days BEFORE Christmas and I don't work the week FOLLOWING Christmas up through to Jan 2nd.  I don't.  Nope, not gonna do it.

Why?  I like Christmas and it's a holiday I look forward to.    I work extremely hard up to Dec 22nd but truth be told Christmas is VERY Slow in Freelance because most clients aren't thinking about projects either.  So a studio shut down is perfectly acceptable.

But the OTHER 99 holidays on the calendar?  They are all up for grabs.  I don't work the night of my wife's Birthday and I keep the schedule light during the day-- but other than Xmas, New Years and my Wife's Birthday I will work any other holiday even at the drop of a hat.

Knowing this helps me keep the stress level down.  My family knowing this keeps them from asking me why I'm not coming to the Memorial Day cookout, or the Patriots Day party. 

2. Establish a Work Area - My wife has her own studio on another floor of the house.  We meet daily for Breakfast and Lunch which is a nice break.  Her studio is very zen.  Very few things, a handful of books, some sparse furniture and warm inviting lights with some inspirational artwork hanging prominently around the room.  Mine is the polar opposite of Zen.  It's loaded like a High School locker.  There is not an inch of space on my walls or shelves that is not filled with comics, posters, original art, toys, action figures, vintage japanese vinyl toys, a lifesize Frankenstein, an Adam West Batman Cowl, a Nicholas Hammond Spider-Man Mask a Tony the Tiger display head, Darth Vader mask, more toys, more art more action figures and did I mention Books?  Libraries come to me to borrow things.  There are THOUSANDS of books.

I love the kinetic cluttered energy it gives off.  At Christmas time I decorate Frankenstein with colored lights.  The rest of  the year Halloween Lights hang in my studio.  It's my own personal Batcave-- all I'm missing is a British Butler walking in with coffee and scones every forty five minutes.

But that space works for me.  It gets me juiced up and ready to work.

That's how you need to set YOUR space.  When you're just starting out you may have to incorporate a drawing or work area in another room because of space restraints.  When I was first starting out in a one bedroom studio my bed was three feet from my drawing table.  It made for some tough nights sleeping because it was hard to "turn off" working mode in the same room.

Regardless of space, make some for yourself.  I have a good friend whose first studio space was a medium sized closet.  It was actually kind of cool-- you had to climb in like a race car but once you were encased in the environment like a man piloting a lunar shuttle to the moon you were ready to work.

The point is to make this space YOUR work inspiration-- so make it a place you WANT to spend time in.

3. Know when a Job is NOT the Right Fit - Easy to say when you're established.  You're going to take pretty much any job that comes along at first, and that's okay.  Sometimes you don't even know the job isn't right for you until you're doing it. When we get to PART 5: GETTING PAID SON we'll look at how to budget for these types of jobs so at least you're getting paid well for something that isn't a fit.

Let's assume that despite your portfolio of Goth Animals someone comes to you thinking you'd be perfect for that highly detailed photo accurate oil painting of Grandma.  That's not a good fit for you, you know it, they don't.  But the light bill is due and there's not a lot else coming in right now so you're thinking hard about taking it.   It's a fork in the road decision:

A. You take it and spend HOURS upon HOURS resisting the urge to give grandma dark undereyes and floppy ears. If you went with this option the biggest advice I can give you is do a lot of research and spend a LOT of time warming up. Look at portraits, look at Presidential Portraits and study the brush strokes. Grab your favorite sketchbook and some colored pencils and get to an art museum and do some sketching of the portraits in the collection. Get your head ready for the project and then give it your best shot.

B. Pass on it and recommend a friend you know who would be a better fit, earning Karma points from the friend and freeing yourself up for that job that WILL fit. Spend the downtime Marketing yourself (also coming up in the series) which is a better expenditure of your time and resources.

4. Deadlines Trump All - All my rules of work parameters combined with the skills I imparted in the ORGANIZATION session should lead you to a point where you don't have to work overtime, but in the real world we know that occasionally that IS going to happen.  If you find yourself CONSTANTLY working overtime on projects re-evaluate your working methods and see if you are actually being productive or if you're wasting a lot of time.

5. SetUp Productivity - The eight hour workday became the norm at the turn of the last century and pretty much has been the standard ever since.  This method goes back LONG before that to the days of Leonardo Da Vinci who often used this seemingly odd method to accomplish the amazing array of achievements he did over the course of his life. 

It's simple-- you work in 45-90 minute sessions with breaks in between.  During the session you do NOTHING but work.  You don't answer the phone if it rings (that's why Voicemail was created) you don't check your email.  You don't jump on IMDB to see who was the actor inside Darth Vader's suit (it was Dave Prowse, body builder and former Frankenstein actor).  YOU WORK.  Because SO much of our day is actually filled with distraction.  That's OK if you work for SNIDELY WHIPLASH INDUSTRIES who is paying you a fat check to work 30% of the time, as a Freelancer you only get paid for the hours you actually WORK.    Novel concept isn't it?  It's the price you pay for being your own boss.

This is best accomplished either by setting up a PLAYLIST running the allotted time, or by streaming an episode of a TV series or even setting an alarm clock.  Give it a try-- WORK for the allocated time and THEN take a break of 15-30 mins (also timed) to check your mail, return phone calls, do whatever-- you will be AMAZED at how this works if you can really be disciplined about it.

NEXT WEEK: LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS -- it's the difference between eating and not.

Andy Fish is a freelance artist and writer who has been living the lifestyle longer than there has been an iPhone on this planet.  The advice given has worked for him, it might work for you, he hopes it does.  But like all advice, take it with your own situation in mind.  If you want to contact him shoot him an email andy@andytfish.com

[artistemmaduehr-blog]

Graduate School begins

I started graduate school this week at Portland State University. I am really looking forward to what is going to happen over the course of the year. I feel that I will change a lot, my artwork will change, and my inspirations will span from all over. I am taking 4 classes, and PSU does a trimester set up which is really nice for going back to school right away.

The first class I want to share is called Contemporary Art 1. I chose to share this class first because one of the assignments for this class is to run an online progress report, I have chosen to do blog format. I have always wanted to start a blog for multiple reasons: I like to talk and I like to share what is on my mind but ……. no one likes to hear someone talk all about themselves and their ideas. Luke, my boyfriend, is wonderful because he likes to listen… sometimes… ANYWAYS. this blog will be nice because it will force me to organize along the way. This blog will consist of what experiments I am currently working on, the inspiration that drives my work, important articles that coincide with my research, and just be a place that will organize all the crazy ideas that are floating around this art brain of mine. I think I decided right now at this very moment.. right now. that I am never going to edit my blog. soon maybe that just makes it a journal, oh well its whatever it is going to come out of my mouth…fingers….typing….. anything I just need to write or says aloud to someone… I'll write it here. but yeah. I’m gonna let this thing be natural, responding with all natural instinct, I'm not going to allow me to proofread or edit my thoughts, they are just going to come out and help me organize my thoughts and be a mess for you to try to read, but if you are really interested in me and what I am doing every week maybe you can see past all my incorrectly placed commas and incomplete sentences. whoops.

Back to the point now, I guess that was an introduction? haha.

Contemporary Art 1 is the biggest workload of homework, all for excellent reasons. We will be focusing on the last 20 ish years of contemporary art to try to focus on what is being made currently instead of focusing all our attention on dead people. I always look to the dead painters for inspiration, all artists do, but for this class, Tabitha is trying to make us learn about art we probably haven’t been very familiar with in the past. I look forward to it. We will have readings every week and come to class ready to engage in thoughtful conversations relating to anything that drives our personal artwork and contemporary art that surrounds us. We will have papers, and desk homework, all that yada yada yada stuff, but I think it is important that we have at least one class like this that is just LOADED with inspiration and conversation about current art practices. I am going to learn a lot and evolve a shit ton. I AM GEEKED.

Another class is called the Visiting Artist Lecture Series; I am taking this class with Lisa Jarrett who is full of energy and instills positive thoughts into the setting. She is well known in the community and is familiar with all things Portland Art scene. I am really looking forward to working with her. The class is centered around learning from other artists. Throughout the course of the Trimester, we will be hosting four large Artist Lectures planned my Lisa, and the students get to plan three visiting artist conversation series. The artists are chosen by us graduate students and we are in charge of reaching out and hiring the artists to come to talk with us. We are also responsible for advertising the lecture and hosting the events; this means asking all the questions and sparking the conversation at all times. I am looking forward to this professional experience by getting to know many local artists and learning about their progress, process, struggles, and more. Being able to have conversations with the successful local artist will do a lot for my personal development because I will learn a variety of different successful techniques and get to know more artists in the community. Also in this class, we are in charge of updating the Portland State MFA program website. This means writing summaries of events happening at the University and updating the community on what we are working on in our studios. We are in charge of all social network that has to do with the program. I am looking forward to sharing my work on a larger network.

Another class is Studio. Just working in my studio. I will be here all the time, I am here right now. Catch me on the 5th street staring at the sunset currently. I have my own studio space. It is about 15ft x 20-25ft ish? with a massive window that serves for great natural lighting. On the walls, I have a United States map, of course, with a heart around Dubuque, Iowa & Epping, North Dakota & Portland Oregon & Kalaloch National Park. All my favorite places. I also have a lot of embroidery hoops on my walls…. haha only 5 have color and I probably have like 20. I just like them and I want to have color on all of them, but I am obviously going to focus on other things that hoop embroidery. Um, I have a bomb ass wooden desk that has all my sharpies, my favorite plants, sketchbooks, yarn, thread, pencils, and water bottle. Um, on my desk, while I am working I usually have my honking laptop out on this nice pull out cutting board thing and my iPad mini. My iPad usually is fulling my tunes while my phone is dying on the charger because Apple sucks and I can’t charge my phone and listen to headphones at the same time .. same with my iPad. But my iPad has a longer battery life so that's why I use him for music. Ummm I have a comfy chair in the corner for whoever decides to visit m,. come by whenever! um, I have a lot of plants because they bring me joy and make me feel like I’m not alone in this white blob. I have paintings on the wall. I didn’t want to decorate too much because I am going to be working on work, messy work in here as well. gotta have room for my enormous creations. So I am really thankful for this studio I am going to be in this spot every damn day. The class: Studio consists of critique. it is designed that we are in critiquing each other's work every week but we are rotating every week. SO my work will be under critique by my classmates every other Wednesdays. I love critique tho. My cohort is full of 6 students and 1 professor for the class, Laura. Looking forward to hearing everyone's ideas and progress throughout the year.

Last class is meeting with 2 mentors throughout the semester. So the professors of the term are Erik (sculpture) and Lisa( from my other class) I meet with both of them at least 3 times a term. I invite them into my studio and I tell them my thoughts, ideas, where I am currently and where I am thinking about going with my work. It will be nice to have thoughtful conversations with inspirational people in my favorite workspace. I think I will be writing about these meetings quite a bit because I do think they will be crucial to my personal development. Professional criticism every week. I feel very thankful that I will have that.

That's my classes. I probably didn’t do it justice because half way thru I wanted to stop writing and pick up my yarn but I didn’t. stay tuned for more, I will be more thoughtful. I just wanna get this blog going without thinking too much about it. Its gonna be a mess, I think, but it will really help me out along the way. I hope you enjoy checking in and seeing what I am working on and different things that inspire me in different ways.

For my class, we need to update this thing once a week, so I promise.. there will always be something new going on on this page. Whether it's really bad like this one or it's really professionally written and thought about. The goal for school is to document everything, that's the way you get to really get to know yourself in the larger spectrum of things.

ok, that's it. I think I’m going to look for all my favorite things now. && post all the things I have started this past week. let me know what you think! contact me at eduehr@pdx.edu or em.duehr@gmail.com whenever! just to talk or ask any questions! I like to be challenged and spark conversations about any subject.

I hope you had a beautiful sunny day today and did something for someone else today. quit being so selfish, do me a favor, next time you don’t like your meal or couldn't finish it, box it up and give it to someone on the street. Ask people how their day is going. If someone walks onto the bus on crutches and a leg brace and is holding 5000 bags, go help her. if someone is short on change, give it to them. If someone puts back a snickers bar in the grocery store because she decided “she didn’t need it” buy it for her… because I did this once... a little too late. I watched it happen. she put back her Snickers bar and I said: “Hey girl, go on, treat yourself” (yeah I’m a freak sometimes) and she said “thanks!! yeah I think I do deserve it” and she picked it back up and she I guess was short on change, but I didn’t know that until it was too late. I shoulda bought that snickers bar for that woman… because she deserved it.

[alvandaghoghi-blog]

Exit Thru the Gift Shop - Response

My favorite thing about this documentary was Thierry and how inspiring he is. I know so many creative types who act like Thierry, who go everywhere with their camera, sketchbook, etc. In away, that object allows them to be more creative and becomes an extension of who that person is. Thierry’s story is so inspirational and to people who desire to be more creative and make a career out of their creative passion, Thierry’s consistent passion is extremely admirable. What I took out of the documentary the most was that no matter what you do in life, always keep doing your passion. Thierry owned a vintage clothing store, and the entire time everywhere he went he brought his camera and filmed and filmed and filmed. He never made anything he just filmed. When you do that, you gain so much knowledge of the world of whatever you’re doing that you’re bound to end up doing something amazing. Which is exactly what happened to Thierry and how he accidentally ended up documenting street art and street artists. I want to be more like Thierry with my creative endeavors and I’m on that path right now and Thierry’s story will help me continue on it. 

[artdjgblog]

An Awful Lot of Ocelots

The equation of creative idea + resources (time, energy, momentum, money, etc.) don’t always fit snug with schedule of life and paying the bills. The results can equate to amateur chainsaw juggling. Especially when forced or strung out. Messy ... quickly. Not to mention the lop-sided command of all other pursuits when casting the creative cane pole of into one’s reservoir. You never know what will tug on the other end OR what obstacles are in the swamp for string to snag. Also, there are no true directional solutions at the back of one’s storybook. 

Speaking of, the past designer’s dozen years or more many original books have flashed the pan in me to make. The large bulk would be for all ages in the form of words and illustrations. Over the years these have sat shelved, scrawled in note/sketchbooks and splattered on blogs or saved emails. Some have morphed into other projects, some just plain evaporated. There are also the ones that ebb ‘n’ flow shrug-worthiness to my mental whereabouts, abilities and drive. In short: I say what and when I wish to say it.

On the flip-side of all this I’ve made the mistake on occasion of saying to others my intent for the said books and art things I’m considering. Which, can come back on me when people actually listen, file away and follow-up. As if I’m some sort of fast food drive-thru service. Maybe I am? It’s just easier to assume it’s easy when on the other side of expectation. Of late when a random creative menu item is pinched out of the air, I get itchy inside, almost allergic to my own words and ideas. I reply, “Well, uh ... it’s on the back burner. Which, is actually a brush fire! However, I did release a handful of poetry books a few years ago, among many other book compilations and side projects. I’ll get to that other thing eventually. I’ve got the freedom to pick ‘n’ choose and do what I feel like. Anyway, it all paves and pays the same! (blah blah blah ... allow me to over-explain ... blah blah blah)”

To make a long story short (I dislike this phrase as it’s usually tacked on after an exhaustive, LONG ramble - oops, sorry about that.), one such book idea that continued to quickly fog New Year lenses annually, at least since 2007, has the wordplay title An Awful Lot of Ocelots. I started this book several times over yet it never matured and blossomed the way I wanted it to. Or, quite simply, I lost the proper path and placement for it. I and it wasn’t ready. Chalk it up to distraction, mostly. (40 hour work weeks for the win) It wasn’t for a lack of trying nor laziness. My note/sketchbooks, preliminary art and mind still indicate this. I also believe all the steps prior are in place for a reason. Notably those poetry books I got sidetracked with recently. Still, it never got done. Excuses.

Eleven years charring on the stove (or, brush fire!), I finally bulldozed half of 2018 into the making things pile and said, “OK! Come June 1st I’m finally polishing THAT one!” Unfortunately, I didn’t get far - I am too late. What I thought a clever title is not, and one I relied heavily upon in rhyme scheme. After nearing a final writing edit a few weeks ago, out of clever curiosity it dawned on me to perhaps Google my silly title. I recall it performing vastly under par at least a decade ago. These days are different as it turns out others have been inspired with the same. Nothing is original under the sun. Notably, a writer and illustrator started heavy into production on their very own An Awful Lot of Ocelots book sometime last year. Perhaps theirs was a gestation one-third of their life as mine, who knows? They have my own private aloof blessings of the crossed wires and I shall move on to see and smell what else is burning and/or burned up. Just smoldering cat for now.

An awful lot of ocelots go tumbling down the lane There they wait for wet cat sake in a soaking rain

An awful lot of ocelots are rowdy on the bus Driver stops to blow his top to tell them all to hush

An awful lot of ocelots in a chuckle at the lockers In and out they bang about to be the rudest talkers An awful lot of ocelots cram into their tight school seats Teacher says to straighten ways to tuck all tails and feet

An awful lot of ocelots make a great big mess at lunch Sent to the hall to calm the brawl without food left to munch An awful lot of ocelots shoot baskets in the gym They run a'muck and try to dunk and get caught in the rim An awful lot of ocelots don't clearly pay attention No matter what the subject is they push it towards detention An awful lot of ocelots stay late again at school Taught and told that it's not cool to disrespect the rules An awful lot of ocelots promise next time to behave Now to survive with slump in stride and escort to their cave 

Art: djg, 2007