#going to delete in the morning <3< /div>
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i am so sad at times because of the fact that almost everything i do, i do extremely slowly. one of the reasons why i couldn't keep up with an art school. and, like, i would finish the task and do it well, but i need so much time to get there. which seems like a horrible trait to have in the modern world
#'at least you have x skill!' well and within several years ai would do the same job cheaper and more effecient#idk i am so terrified bc of that. never imagined the dystopia where for instance creative professionals for the most part have to work as#cassiers bc a machine would take them out of jobs#idk. i have insomnia and am just mopping around. i know that i need to snap out of it of whatever it is that i have esp regarding work that#i do but i just cant. and i also realise that i don't have a space to just let it be bc i don't even have a home to return to at this point#going to delete in the morning <3#for a short period of time in between different stages of the war and covid i had a simple office job back in my hometown. it was so lovely#i worked at an archive and everyone was slow. and after work i went for groceries and were able to return back to my own home#and none of this exists anymore ☹️
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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?
no
#anonymous#ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything#no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student#been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes#thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though#as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics#i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections#this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated#just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts#instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time#but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated#that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere
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Ok talking about feelings hours. The tags on my latest perrydoof post were bc when i first joined the fandom i was so excited i did tons of comics and arts of them, so much that whenever i checked the tag to see new art from other pple i would find my own in a row bc the fandom aint big enough to bury them and i ended up feeling a bit self conscious and not posting much after that (thats why you sometimes see me say "comic from some months ago") but I actually have lots of silly toons, some of which only closer friends have seen, that i dont know when will i post cause im afraid of clogging the tag again and on the other hand im terrified of when revival comes and this fandom becomes so big theres a possibility it might turn toxic if you get what i mean...
What i wanna say is yall are incredibly sweet and your support rlly means a lot to me omfggfogm ; ;

#talking about feelings hours yay#its almost 8am and i havent sleep yet <3#might delete idk#Editting this to say sleep schedule so bad i was going to bed but it was morning already haha help
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making a tiny foray in sharing pics of my body with sharing my pjs! And an ouchie :(
#n00dles#these pjs make me feel so little I love them :3#Im def going to delete these in the morning lol so enjoy for now
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I'm still thinking about that post about how female characters and especially wlw and f/f ships are treated in fandoms because I got a reply that I deleted on my post about how all the Nein were big shippers on deck for Beau and Yasha that boiled down to "haha Caleb making a tower so the useless lesbians would admit they liked each other!" and it's like. He made the tower to Beau's orders. She had already asked out Yasha, who in turn had of her own volition written Beau a phenomenal, beautiful letter instead of a poem as recommended by Jester. This is factually incorrect and obnoxiously dismissive of a genuinely great dynamic and attributes all agency to a man. When you say shit like this you sound like you are Chat GPT. No new thoughts no time actually spent analyzing a relationship dynamic just "ooh i see a woman in fiction what is the phrase most associated with this ok done onto the next task".
#whenever i post like 20 times before 8:15 am like this you need to understand it's bc my dumbass morning person body woke up at like 5:45 am#and i was like well i'm not getting back to sleep and then pounded 3 cups of coffee in an hour#just to give some context#also if i delete a reply or anon know that it's because i wanted to reply with something like this and (usually) restrained myself#which is very hard for me as an annoying person#like. it is very difficult to articulate this without sounding like some kind of well I don't see gender asshole and that isn't what i mean#but if you can only talk about wlw and women in general in overused memes that weren't funny the first time#you're clearly not like. spending time thinking about them. you can see this with repeated phrases#like the reason why repeated phrases in fanfic or in academic essays are looked down on is bc it shows you're not fucking thinking#you just grabbed what someone else said and said haha ok done i'm gonna go back to a busy day of eating markers
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guh. playing wolfquest again with the new update out. started a new run with nakita and her husband stag, and obviously I clicked "regenerate family snapshot" thinking it would add the new litter alongside the old one bc duh ofc people are going to be having multiple litters with the same mate, won't they?
but no. it didn't. it just REPLACED my old family tree. it REPLACED NAKITA'S FIRST LITTER ????
this was almost cause for another meltdown. thankfully I just went back into an old save and fixed it, but holy hell. everything almost fell apart there for a second
like the new litter and all, but they're test run babies, made to die and move on about. they're not nakita's darling litter that I spent days of my life if trying to keep alive, okay?
#her litter was so bad I started save scumming bc of the luck I was getting#stag is the best wolf husband I have ever gotten in this game besides perhaps hayden. which he's similar to but stag is more affectionate#points for stag keeping everyone alive when I was stressed out of my mind trying to get the pups to stop walking in front of bears#tangen was beautiful. my wonderful boy. I gave him his own lovely family bc he was so good#but oh my god. his siblings y'all.#trailblazer was sick and sick and sick and sick. died over and over and over again#and then another pup got STUCK. can't remember the who but I remember the what. and they died. over. and over. and over. and over#my dad came in and checked on me because I just started screaming at one point with how frustrated it was making me lol#both times were just reloading. for HOURS. waiting for rng to finally change something#and it worked. but it was also a hellish experience#technically that's like hardcore cheating but I alsoooo do not give a shit. I love her too much to let her puppies die <3#nakita is my pride and joy of a character. I love her. she's my comfort character except she's literally mine#I think I've only ever drawn nakita once in my life and I'll be keeping it that way thankz I could never do her justice#I'll delete this in the morn I just wanted to share the absolute heart attack I had tonight right before I was trying to go to bed lol#wolfquest#—:*after these messages we'll be righttttt back*:—
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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I think MAPPA has ruined an entire generation of anime watchers.
Yeah.
People should NOT be expecting their level of animation when you have brutal scheduling and low budget. No, I'd say watching the TV series of Neon Genesis Evangelian should be mandatory, not for the story, but what to expect when a show is running out of money and time.
Yes, you should be expecting a "slide show", aka a bunch of stills when you give staff a month or less to complete an entire episode. There should be shots of still characters with their heads turned away from the camera so mouths aren't even animated when you give an animator a day to a week to get a shot done. There is a REASON limited animation is used. But now people expect more and more without there being a change to anime scheduling or pay. Like every episode needs to be full of sakuga every second or else.
People are getting burnt out and the whole damn industry is collapsing, y'all.
#rant#anime#anime industry#mappa#hell animation industry in general#sometimes i get so mad yall#i see first hand how it affects ppl and it constantly makes me want to scream#i haven't even ranted about line milage yet either#that's a whole nother anime rant#also part of this is me getting annoyed at seeing ppl complaining about dungeon meshi#trigger is doing fine#like go watch some older anime#it is 3 in the morning and my brain woke me up with FEELINGS#probably delete this later
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The dichotomy of listening to moments of happiness really is just “Oh, I want to live forever” directly followed by “I am going to fucking kill myself.”
#can you tell. can you tell I’m going through it#I want to die so bad#on one hand oh. what do you mean the interconnectedness of the universe#and the beauty of music and the world around us#and the stars wink at down at the earth from millions of timelines away#and time is a flat circle and we’re all simultaneously the oldest we’ve ever been and the youngest we ever will be again#and sometimes a new day will bring happiness. and we just have to wait for the light in the sky to shine upon our face#and on the other hand#I AM NEVER GOING TO SOUND LIKE JEMIMA!!!!#ILL NEVER BE THERE ON THE STAGE!!!!#ILL NEVER FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND OF A SET AND BECOME THE MOMENT AND FADE WITH THE ORCHESTRA#two years left on this mortal coil#I’ll sing moments of happiness for my choir teacher and she’ll tell me she’s proud of me#then I’ll simply cease to exist like I was never there in the first place#like a note resounding from a piano until the sound waves have dissolved like smoke#maybe I’ll delete this in the morning#and maybe it’ll simply be buried#moments of happiness <3
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World's most frustrating feeling: having multiple ideas and character designs but despite working on the thing for nearly 5 YEARS still being nowhere close to having a coherent plot 💀
#yeah ok this is UBER specific lmaoooo but u get me#idk man i think im really proud of my character designs (finally) especially the prsonas ive been designing lately#and i have a character i adore so much and i KNOW many things about him#but apparently cant come up with a decent plotline. like alirght#cool cool brain#sorry to be bitching ill probably delete this in the morning#but i was thinking about this as i was playing royal and thinking about how he would react to the situations#even thinking out dialogues and how id change small lil things now that hes there#but i cant realy go in depth if i dont have a plot to introduce him huh#yeah basically back to the drawing board again. for the like. 7th time idk i lost count#realistically these things take time i know but at some point i have GOT to resist the urge to just scrap all the stuff ive done#and start over going this time itll be different!#look in the grand scheme of things this really doesnt matter i just wanted to get this off my mind LMAOOOO#sorry friends <3 hope you dont mind me losing my mind over a fictional au i created for FUN again 💀#i will now be going to sleep because lets face it thats whats really wrong with me
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I don't really like bitching publicly bc I don't feel like arguing with strangers on the internet but it is baffling to me how ppl can hate on Brozone relentlessly but then idolize Creek's character like on one hand you have characters who were clearly growing up with an unstable home environment (no parents) from a young age lashing out as teenagers vs a character who grew up in an extremely positive, supportive community acting like a dick and then selling out his entire species for his own benefit, as a fully grown adult like what are you people on I don't understand the dichotomy
Posting this draft and adding a sc of my insta story from mid July that tackles some of my feelings about creek bc as much as I hate him I DO think he's an interesting character I just don't think ppl are necessarily using him to his fullest potential

#rainy rambles#anyways happy 3:30 am im going to sleep. perhaps i willbe nice again in thr morning#im not a hater im not. unless i am#i drafted this back in JUNE yall. i kept seeing ppl hc that jd hit his brothers and it made me see red. STOP it.#IM SORRY to get heated i just. i cannot take it anymore i am so eternally grateful that it is a very small pocket of the community and i ca#block as liberally as i please. peace and love on the planet earth#MIGHT delete later i am embarrassed
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THERE ARE LEECHES IN MY EYEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grug can you hear me grugg grugg where are you grugg the DRILL grugg get the DRILL GRU-
#grug get the drill#migraines shouldn't be allowed to last for more than 3 days what IS THIS BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#:'D#im going to fight the sun#with my eyes closed bc light. ew. but i fhink we should brng the heatdeath of the universe tonigh#pack it up boys it's all over this is it#TRIED TO STAND UP BAD IDEA ABORT MISSI9N#this is my life now. everything's spinning. why the fuck did i think drawing spirals all over the place was a good idea#im going to either go back to sleep or ascend wish me luc#k#luck#luuuuck#that's all from me today ok bye good morning bye#delete l8r fuck this#lmaooooooooooo
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all those f/o positivity posts make me laugh
"your f/o loves you" "you f/o is so sweet to you" "your f/o is [insert some variation of nice/soft/kind/ect]"
my f/os are terrible people and that's the appeal
I like half of them becasue they kill people
I don't want to [insert wholesome activity] with them, I'm helping them hide bodies and lie to their followers/employees
I don't even want some of them to be in love with me. in canon it would be unrequited one-sided pining from me and I like it that way
especially the couple of them that would take advantage of my willingness to do whatever they asked
#this is about several characters#Crowley(spn) Negan Faulkner and Elias. probably others. Lucifer(spn) fits the bill. Azmodeus(spn) for suuure#certain variations of Scarecrow/Dr. Crane#omg I have a recording from codot of Dr. Crane saying I look good on my knees =jsiuvoijvhdihovj I still have it saved somewhere#technically it wasn't explicitly for me but it was done as a response to an ask I sent so also it kinda was#I'm going to be quite embarrassed about this entire post in the morning#oh well!#posting anyway#future Harlenn can deal with it#he's not deleting this and he knows it#I can say whatever I want and he won't stop me >:3#preeeeetty sure we've switched at this point but I can't say I'm entirely certain who I am. eh. who cares honestly.#identity is a weird concept.#idk what Harlenn's doing but his brain or one of the eye things in it#(there's like three of them in here. one is a rabbit)#keeps trying to label me as spiral/distortion#I don't know that that's right but you do you besties :)#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway I have a notifaction. or harlenn does. should go see what that's about#byeeeeeeeeeeeee
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i hate nightmares. so much.
#god damn it brain can i have a night of good sleep please#ugh#why#vent? sillypost? idk#sillyposting?#nightmares#bad dreams#scary dreams#sad dreams#mental health stuff#tw mental health#woke up scared god damn it tonight was baaaad#it’s 3 in the morning#uhhh#i don’t wanna go back to sleep i’m scared#but if i don’t i’ll just be sleep deprived tomorrow#uhh#i’ll try to sleep but if i have another one i swear i’ll cry fr#why am i even posting this#might delete later#i wanna hug someone rn#but i don’t wanna wake anyone up or be annoying ugh
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also i’m officially seeing the crane wives in may. im normal about this information
#i’ve been planning to get tickets for a while and today was uniquely horrible#(my night was fine i just screwed myself over this morning HDKJDJDK)#so i went for it <3 might be going alone but yknow what! danger is the spice of life or whatever#posted from tumblr mobile browser bc i. impulsively deleted the app this morning 😭 guys it’s ok!
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age regression=justification of pedophilia (kys pls, and leave the fandom mortal kombat)
Hello again!! :D
I have already explained the difference between Age Regression vs Age Play.
But perhaps I should use more simple definition so it's more understandable. <3
Age Regression - A COPING MECHANISM, where one thinks and and behaves like a child.
Age Play - A DISGUSTING KINK where one person ACTS like a child during sex.
Age Regression is NOT a kink. There is absolutely NO sexual relationship in it. It is purely platonic.
Age Play is DISGUSRING. It's a justification for pedophilia. And it should have NEVER been created.
I encourage you to ask questions. I encourage you to look up things on your own. And I have already spoken about the difference between these two things on another post when I first got a comment like this.
The only reason I didn't just delete your ask was because I wanted to address your last part: where you told me to kill myself.
Telling my to kys also isn't okay. Trust me, I've tried twice before.
But no matter how pissed you are at someone, that response is childish and cruel.
It can also hold much more weight and words than one might think.
I do not harbor any hard feelings towards you. Sure, your comment suprised me, but I do just hope you never tell anything like that to someone else EVER again.
If you truly do not like my stuff, please just scroll. <3
#mortal kombat#< i just wanted to be petty tagging it cause it told me to leave <3#you guys ever realize its only the anonymous saying these things?#if you have a statement say it with pride#i dunno i guess im just frustrated#woke up at 7 in the morning especting an actual ask and this is what i got :/#its really whatever though#im just going to start deleting them unless they have actual quesrions :|
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