#guess whose medicated ;)
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monatoxin · 27 days ago
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cat study :)
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deoidesign · 7 months ago
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I need to know if I'm delusional and projecting onto random characters or if Adam and/or Steve are neurodivergent
You can project whatever you want on them, and I don't know that it's "canon" so to speak but I write them with neurodivergent intent in mind just based on my own life experiences!
so I'm projecting on them too, but it's up for debate whether that's coming across in the text.
Adam is autistic and Steve has ADHD. To Me.
#I think adam autism is wayyyyy more in the text than steve ADHD#adam who has. been to therapy.#and whose mom. is a psych#thats not in canon but it's how I'm writing him#he feels like someone whose mom was psychoanalyzing him in a gentle way his whole life you know what I mean.#like. ok maybe I'm being ridiculous but its in there I swear#steve on the other hand extremely untreated ADHD and also no way of knowing he has it and also doesnt need to focus much so you cant tell#but. as much as it could be in there for his situation I think its in there#anyways this is just word of god I guess. well maybe adam autism is like fair at this point to read and consider relatively canon#dodsent madder#I'm wary of what I say is actually canon#especially when it comes to neirodivergency!#which is sooo extremely personal and SOOOO varied#but like them being trans. thats canon#and when people are like hmmm idk I dont think its in there#I'm like LEARN TO THINK CRITICALLY...#'your family wouldnt recognize you as a man and you said you were glad for it'#'the man who chose and who told me I was allowed not to'#'are you my boyfriend?' 'I prefer partner.'#like be serious. thats canon#sorry it pisses me OFFF!!!!!!#not like super duper its like fine HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA#anyways okay. yeah adam is autistic and steve has ADHD#uh.......#also personally choose not to use the word delusional and to save it for medical discussions but your words are your choice#asks#autisticfridge#just like to make my choices clear as often as I can#ok bye love you. project whatever the hell you want on my ocs#I made them and put them out there and I get to do 100% of what I want with them
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light-wrath-paradise · 2 months ago
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Someone stop me from adding yet another fucker to Chatterbird Corporations or so help me god. Come on I thought we had AliveWorld for this kind of fuckery.
#it's like ough it'd be so funny. but ChCorp is not funny. ChCorp is my emotional hell.#ChCorp is a self-contained long-form exploration of the human condition that was originally supposed to have TWO (2) repeating characters#and the rest would always appear for one act. But Dienes was an ok addition that made sense for the themes. i don't even know#why the hell he's there but he's been there since i was 14 so who cares.#Alexis was a random addition but she is actually a nice other side of the coin to Chatterbird and someone who is fully human#despite being robotic and on like 20 medications. she's the character who's there so I can make it clear that I'm NOT#saying that body mods and medication and prosthetics make you less human but that I'm instead saying that Chatterbird is a bigot.#and a victim. but also a bigot. Mockingbird was a shitpost but now he's there forever and hey it fucks hard#because he explores nature vs nurture. he's the 'Can Chatterbird change? What makes a person? What is an individual? Is it ingrained in our#DNA or is 'us' something that is created and if so can it be changed? How much? By what?' to Chatterbird's living ship of Theseus#she's humanity vs inhumanity and personhood vs tool and Mockingbird is nature vs nurture and individual vs collective guilt#she asks 'Am I human?' and he asks 'Who am I?'#Grey was added out of spite but funnily enough him and King actually make a great thematic square with Chatterbird and Mockingbird#because there's nobody who's Chatterbird's parallel as far as the question of humanity is considered.#since Alexis isn't really about that at all.#anyway my point is there are enough recurring characters we don't need more reoccurring characters.#AliveWorld was literally built in such a way that i could throw in an endless amount of characters forever for my own enjoyment#but the thing is it's a fantasy comedy turned dramedy. the guy whose concept is solidifying in my head does NOT fit into a fantasy setting#i have nowhere else to throw him because my only 3 surviving writing projects are AliveWorld; Chatterbird Corporations; and BDEF#and technically speaking Liliana's AUs but those are fanfictions.#oh yeah I forgot about Terror on Belgica. which is Schrödinger's fanfiction i guess. but regardless he can't be there either that's a horror#story
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theskyexists · 4 months ago
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Ok looked at all the vampire f/f books listed on sappfic.com or whatever and. Thats not a lot comparatively and also I had an idea! Who wants to read the one scene i already wrote for it
#please cant we... cant we just have .... my idea written by someone else and better than i could do it by one million times#i want. to go to bed i guess#sigh.#wont anybody please make vampires actual ceo assholes hello.#that dhampir academy thing came closest first book was pretty homoerotic#read that decades ago (not quite)#my stuff#blagh ignore me i am so so so tired#and i didnt do anything for most of the day i hate this#its actually a series book one is about a zombie apocalypse in europe due to a new bioweapon and a student is on her way home from uni her#train gets bombed she attempts to go home but the zombies get her she is a zombie for a while but wakes up one day#still hungry...but lucid. her senses sharpened and herself more capable of anything. she hears a little girl trapped in a basement and gets#her out. and while travelling back to her hometown keeps her safe. then almost gets killed eating dead people for sustenance gorges on blood#but yhe girl sees her. then she comes across a guy she helps they protect each other and the kid. she keeps moving and moving just hoping#her family might be ok. the guy and her fall in love. theres no news no information why hasnt anyone come to help them how far has it spread#anyway they have sex she infects him he dies. shes mad with grief her family are dead (they arrive). the u.s. army comes in and#and seemingly offer aid but they find out shes undead / immortal they put her through experiments for 20 years (patient zero tests) the girl#is called elise and grows up in the u.s. shes the first sired vampire (she was introduced to the mutated virus at a young enough age and#gradually) and manages to disappear before she follows the fate of her lost adoptive big sister. then the first immortality treatments#come out. but only the richest families can afford them and its somehow carried in the living body. strange rituals. blood becomes something#you can sell at an ok. price. you can become immortal but only through more obvious indentured servitude. TAKES DEEP BREATH#ENTER jess and haley two normal u.s. teenagers no good families in a crumbling education system whose teacher is managing to hold on to#life by his teeth by paying his students for blood because blood banks are now all in hands of oligarchal immortal families and hes been#banned#getting infected generally means death only those families have the medical resources to make it go right#DEEP BREATH.#anyway#personal#and more - jess and haley become blood workers - sell blood for money. very dangerous catering to either criminals or elites or desperates#jess does get infected haley nealy kills herself getting the money to pump her full of drugs so she might survive. jess nearly kills haley a
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captain-dville · 5 months ago
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I would like to remind everyone of something regarding the toy soldier.
It always came back
Jonny said it. That "the thing keeps coming back". It wasenr told to do that. No one told it no one made it no one ordered it to do so. It had some kind of will and whatever sort of will it had brought it back again and again. However it may work. It wanted to be there. It wants to be there. And through whatever fates will its motions it did so itself.
xactly .
Comes back to us. Hated it at first .annoyed me
Then realised. Liked having it around. Was happy when it came back
Turned intoa game
Mglad it comes bcak. Belongs with us. Hope it wants to stsy forever
Onfthec rew
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fiascobaby · 2 years ago
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Quirked-up girlfag writing niche horny Hoffstrahm on its phone in the clinic waiting room is it goated with the jigsauce send tweet
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roguelocks · 5 months ago
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going to the er in the dead of night :(
everyone there being very normal and cool abt me being trans :)
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wilwheaton · 7 months ago
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One medical doctor, whose identity the Daily Beast confirmed, commented with sympathy for Thompson’s family and said the killer should be charged with murder, but then wondered about the damage the CEO had done. “I cannot even guess how many person-years UHC has taken from patients and their families through denials,” they wrote. “It has to be on the order of millions. His death won’t make that better, but it’s hard for me to sympathize when so many people have suffered because of his company.” “What has bothered me the most is people that put «fiduciary responsibility» (eg profits) above human lives, none more so than this company as run by him," wrote another medical doctor, who also spoke to the Daily Beast to confirm their identity. “When other’s human lives are deemed worthless, it is not surprising to have others view your life of no value as well.”
Moderators Delete Reddit Thread as Doctors Torch Dead UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson
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gor3sigil · 5 months ago
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In 2021, my country debated on a law to open medically assisted procreation to women couples and single mothers. When it was debated we asked for it to broaden the conditions to include trans men and transmascs since the only mention of women excluded whose who had changed their gender markers.
We were consistently told by cis and trans women alike to stop making reproductive rights about men, that it was their fight.
The law passed. And we celebrated, and they celebrated, and we held back tears, we'd never be fathers.
In 2024, my country debated on putting abortion in the constitution.
The minister of families received 2 renowned TERFs and tried to change the law go forbid professionnals to refuse an abortion to "women", so trans men whose gender markers were changed could be denied. And we fought, and we fought for the definition to be changed and we won, and we celebrated in
Deafening silence.
“If men could be pregnant it’d be in the constitution already !”
If only you knew.
After I got assaulted, I wanted to take a self defense lesson.
They were “cis and trans women only”, because a man like me shouldn't know how to hit. I went to the gym and I punched a dummy until my knuckles turned purple.
I got a sleep exam. Under anesthesia, the doctor asked me if he should say “sir or ma’am”. I’m tied up on the bed. I asked him to say “sir”. He tells me “I guessed so, you’re such a pretty boy” and he stroke my arm. I want to scream and cry. When I recall the scene to people I'm stealth with, they say I just dreamed, he wouldn't do that, I'm a man. I'm a hysterical woman with extra steps.
I catter to my wounds alone and I wonder
If I got to the point of being hatecrimed
If people would argue on my grave
For it to be called
A feminicide.
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timmydraker · 7 months ago
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Tim calls a family meeting and everyone is assuming he’s got a big case he needs help with, which is alarming for someone who refuses to admit that some cases are beyond him.
So, everyone shows up at the cave only to be ordered upstairs by Alfred. For those who only showed up to make fun of Tim for needing help, this is confusing because case work ain’t allowed upstairs.
All do them figure out quickly that this means it’s not to do with Gotham or Ref Robin, but the man behind the mask.
Bruce and Dick were there first and because Damian is always with one of them, so is he.
Steph picks up Barbara and Cass, with Duke already at home and Jason showing up at the same time as Kate and Lucius.
When they all get into the lounge room used for when people are over, just two doors down from the actual family room, they all find themselves chatting casually as they stave off their own worries or confusion. Some of them try find out if anyone knows what’s going on, but when Alfred and Barbara reveal they have no idea, they give up and make a few guesses but no more.
When Tim finally comes in after Alfred received him, he looks tired.
It’s not usual for Tim to get distracted with work and not sleep for a while, but he will conk out for hours when he decides to and wake up alright.
The bags under his eyes, the redness within them, and the way he looks close to tucking himself into a ball…
Bruce is immediately leaning forward, opening his mouth to make sure his son is okay but Tim just raised a hand to silence him. “Just… just let me speak, okay? I need to do it now or I’m not going to be able to.”
Everyone gives him a nod or look of understanding, making him twitch a smile before inhaling deeply and psyching himself up.
“I have cancer.”
Nobody speaks as Tim exhales shakily.
Everyone is staring wide eyed at the young man before them, who just reached the legal drinking age, and trying to asses his physical form for an understanding of what he just said. They’re all trying to gain X-ray vision to see exactly what is hurting him all while trying to convince themselves they heard him wrong.
Tim closes his eyes and speaks automatically, leaning into facts like he always does when he’s freaking out, “I noticed I was getting by more tired and fatigued around last year. My doctor said I have a low white cell count but he wasn’t alarmed as it was still in the normal range. But a few months ago I started to note that bruises were taking far too long to heal and I was getting a lot of pain around my joints and bones.”
He inhaled again, shakier than before at the same time that Alfred sits himself down with a hand over his mouth.
“It’s stage 2 and because of my lack of a spleen it’s going to be a harder process for treatment but fortunately I own a medical company so there’s that at least.” He makes a sort of joking smile that falters immediately, falling into a pulled back frown that comes with someone whose about to sob as he adds, “But it’s also aggressive so I-I don’t know how-how to-fuck-“
Dick and Cass are immediately moving off the couches they are on and catch him as he finally crumbles into himself.
Bruce is next to follow, the stoic man openly crying for the first time in years.
Jason and Damian are in shock, both frozen in place as dread takes over their minds.
Steph is looking out the window, as if staring at some kind of his or deity and demanding an expiration as to why they have to hurt her loved ones so badly. She’s crying, but it’s silent which is all the more harrowing.
Lucius places a hand on Alfred’s shoulder to comfort the elder even as he himself itches to go comfort the young boy who helped him run the company when he was at his worst.
Kate leaves the room to go call Bette, needing her mentor because this is just something she can’t handle.
Duke is sobbing into his hands as he leans into Barbara’s lap. Barbara who is clinging to him like a lifeline as she feels her world shift once again, feeling so angry and confused at how one of them could be threatened like this. Of all the ways they could go out, was it really going to be cancer?
It was a harrowing experience for all of them to remember that they were human in more than just their flesh being able to bleed and be wounded, but for it to grow sick. For it to age and attack itself.
They were human at the end of the day and Tim…
In Metropolis, Clark Kent rushed into the bathroom at his work to throw up as he heard a conversation miles away.
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cripplecharacters · 1 year ago
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How to Support People with Facial Differences - the Face Equality Week 2024 Special
[large text: How to Support People with Facial Differences - the Face Equality Week 2024 Special]
Today is the 13th of May, which means that the Face Equality Week has just started. This year's theme is “My Face is a Masterpiece” which is probably my favorite sentence ever said about having a facial difference. Huge fan, should be used way more often in my opinion.
Because of this occasion, I would like to share some thoughts about Face Equality that I think are rather entry-level, i.e. you don't need to know much to execute these, but you can still support us.
Stop the stare.
I know it's fun to stare - or so I guess, at least - but maybe you shouldn't. Next time you see someone who has a scar or who's face does not move the same way as yours, just mind your business. We can tell when you're “discreetly” looking.
Don't call us deformed. 
Knowing how the people you're trying to support actually call themselves should be an absolute first step, but most people still fail here. Most of us don't appreciate being called “deformed”. I certainly don't. Say “facial difference”, or “disfigurement” if you must. It's 2024. Leave “deformed” to medical reports from the 70s.
No more “What happened?!”s.
If you aren't a doctor, there's a high-to-100% chance that it's none of your business. It's cool that you're curious - keep it to yourself.
Stop insinuating that we are ugly.
“Support people who are ugly!” isn't very supportive. I would say, not in the slightest. Say “people who don't fit the current beauty standards” if that's what you mean. 
Or, to go with this year's theme, “people whose faces are masterpieces” : )
Use critical thinking online.
Is the reaction photo actually funny, or is it just a person with a craniofacial condition? Is the meme actually a meme, or is it just making fun of a person with a facial disfigurement? Is body-shaming suddenly hilarious to you when the person shamed has strabismus? 
If the entire punchline is “lol they have a disability xd”, it's ableism. Plain and simple.
To go with the point above - your joke is probably not funny.
We get it! You can't help telling us how "you're going to hell for laughing" (which yeah, probably) and how we remind you of the ugliest character you have ever seen. I guarantee you that we heard it, and that you are behaving like an edgy middle schooler who hasn't "found out" yet. It's boring and annoying. Also ableist, but you're aware of that already if you're saying that you're going to hell.
Stop with the goddamn trigger warnings. 
We aren't “body horror”, we aren't “gore”, we aren't something that you need to advise your viewers to use their discretion over. Every “graphic footage: child with neurofibromatosis” and “#tw burn scar” is a sign of ableism and disfiguremisia. People with facial differences deserve to be seen. Ableds can survive seeing a person without a nose.
Do a basic reading on what disfiguremisia is.
New word! And an important one. It's a brand of ableism that intersects with more or less everything, and it means discrimination and hatred of people with facial differences/disfigurements. The bullying, harassment, endless name-calling, and microaggressions are all results of disfiguremisia. The ways in which everything is harder for us isn't some unchangeable rule of how the world works, it's just an extremely prevalent type of discrimination.
Understand that we are people.
I know, revolutionary - and yet impossible for so many people to get. We can be a visual representation of evil when it's necessary, we can be a feel-good inspirational story on a morning talk-show, but not much else, it seems. In reality, we are complex, we have our own lives, we can be happy and sad and have the same exact joys and worries that you have.
Hey, artists - facial differences don't make you evil.
Title stolen from a great essay by Lise Deguire (link). When's the last time you saw a positive character with a facial difference that wasn't inspiration porn? I mean a character that's not edgy, full of angst, a murderer, or a villain. Based on what you see in the media, you'd think that having a scar renders you evil on the spot, but in reality it just makes you loathe how artists apparently think you are like. It's boring, it's overdone, it's ableism. Stop doing this, and start noticing when it's being done. Point it out if your friend is writing their new villain to be an evil burn survivor. This kind of portrayal needed to stop ages ago, but tomorrow will be a great time as well.
Before you reply with “I've never seen this” - Darth Vader, Lion King’s Scar (subtle name, great thing to teach kids!), Freddy Krueger, Voldemort, we could be here forever. You're just not paying attention.
Pay attention to where we are not included.
As discussed, there are some places where you see us all the time. But where do you not see us?
Advertisements (unless it's for a scar-removal cream, of course). Fashion shows. Magazine covers. Romance movies where we are the main character.
We deserve to see ourselves in what's around us in the same way able-bodied people do. Trying to make it seem like we don't exist - that's deliberate. 
Interact with our art.
We draw, write, sing, act in movies, we do everything. Support us in the most tangible way - leave us a nice comment, read our books, listen to our songs. Watch movies where actual people with facial differences star, not pseudoinspirational stories about how “being disfigured is ok” where they shove an able-bodied actor into a full face prosthetic just to not have an actor with a disfigurement on set.
Include us.
As this year's Face Equality Week calls for, include us. In art, in movies, in books, in your life. Show us as positive people who are valuable, who are a part of your community - I guarantee that we are in every one that's out there. The world is hostile and unwelcoming to people with facial differences - be the change, wherever you are.
I know that it is different from the usual posts I make, but I hope it was somewhat educational. I just like to use every occasion that I can to force Face Equality into people's heads. To make this at least a bit about writing to keep the blog's theme, I will say that if you want to write about us, you need to care about us in real life as well. Otherwise, it's pointless and, as representation, genuinely worthless.
Below the readmore are some links/resources that you can click to educate yourself further. A lot of them lead to Face Equality International because they have just about everything you should know. If you want to be a better ally to people with facial differences, I heavily recommend them.
#MyFaceIsAMasterpiece
mod Sasza
https://faceequalityinternational.org/the-harmful-trope-of-facial-differences-in-film-villains/
https://faceequalityinternational.org/why-i-will-not-hide/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/disability-is-diversity/202111/hidden-community-the-movement-face-equality
https://faceequalityinternational.org/facial-differences-in-the-media/
https://faceequalityinternational.org/advertising-excludes-women-with-faces-like-mine/
https://www.phoenix-society.org/resources/burn-community-bookshelf
https://faceequalityinternational.org/about-fei/international-face-equality-week/
https://faceequalityinternational.org/hidden-from-view-women-with-facial-differences-in-the-media
https://www.phoenix-society.org/resources/i-dont-see-your-scars
Thanks for actually clicking the readmore
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snapscube · 23 days ago
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for the longest time I didn't realize you had tourettes, I legit feel like that post of the guy whose friend was saying "jackin' off!" while their friends high fived them and said "hell yeah!"
LOL i mean most of my tics are motor tics so i dont know how you would guess without me saying it outright! i blink a lot, i stretch my fingers/hands in weird ways, i squeeze my toes, i do a weird circular stretch with the philtrum area above my lips, i do various probably extremely unhealthy neck stretches, etc etc
the only tics i know of for sure that are TECHNICALLY vocal tics are like the way i kinda sniffle or clear my throat a lot, but even that is only "vocal" in a medical sense so it doesnt come through as obviously over mic cause i have a lot of noise filters and such
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januaryembrs · 10 months ago
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MY BABY, HERE ON EARTH | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [BONUS]
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Description: the NINE months of pregnancy
Word count: 10.9k
warnings: pregnancy duh, babies, giving birth, c-section, ummm body fluids? lots of emotions, nausea & sickness, talks of weight gain and stretch marks.
authors note: y'all... there you have it. I will be back to finish their story but until then this is my goodbye piece until I have finished my hiatus to write my own book and start uni (again). I can't wait to take these two (three) on the final lap they deserve but for now.. I hope you enjoy pookies being pookies.
previous chapter | series masterlist |next chapter
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MONTH ONE. The one where she finds out.
She hadn’t meant to find out when she did. It had been just a routine implant swap that she’d had twice already in the last six years. 
“Any blood clotting, any pain at all?” The nurse asked, jotting down a few notes on her form as she sat back on the bed and waiting for the numbing cream to take hold. 
She shook her head. “It’s weird as hell to feel and when I think about it too long it freaks me out, but no, no pain,” She said and the nurse chuckled, nudging her glasses up her nose.
“And finally, is there any chance that you’re pregnant?” She asked, no doubt having rehearsed the same script about thirty times that day alone.
Bugsy gave her a flat smile, “Small chance, but I guess that’s what this is for, huh?” 
The nurse looked at her then, as if mulling over the words before she said something, “Small chance?”
“I mean, nothing is a hundred percent effective,” Bugsy tried to weasel her way out of the awkward conversation, because she had absolutely no intention of letting the nurse know her and Spencer had been at it like bunnies since the Hotch had forced them to take medical leave. Who knew having so much time on her hands with her very handsome boyfriend would have that effect? 
The nurse pursed her lips, and already the woman felt like she’d said too much. 
“Alright, we’re going to do a routine test, just need a quick urine sample,” Bugsy felt her cheeks heat, though she was in no position to argue. Her discomfort must have been more obvious than she thought, however, as the nurse went on to explain, “If I give you this implant and there’s a fertilised egg, it can lead to ectopic pregnancy, in which case you’ll need surgery. Trust me, honey, peeing in a cup is your easy option,” 
She gave the practitioner a small nod, wondering if she needed to message Spencer to say she’d be running a little late. She knew he was likely doing the sudoku in the waiting room magazine, since he’d refused to let her come alone. And even though she’d told him she would be fine on her own, he’d seen through it, had even offered to get her ice cream on the way home for putting on a brave face. 
And yet her face was nothing short of horror struck not even half an hour later when the nurse showed her the stick with empathetic eyes. 
“Congratulations,” The woman said cautiously, a fake smile plastered on her face as the girl stared at her, utterly gobsmacked. 
“But, I thought…” Bugsy stammered, running a finger over where the nurse had removed her implant, “But I had everything ready, I never let it get late, I did what I was supposed to,” 
“You said it yourself, honey, nothing is a hundred percent effective besides abstinence-” 
“That’s just what parents say to make sure their kids aren’t banging every Tom, Dick and Harry out there!” Bugsy was near screeching, the worry in her tone clear as a bell and her chest hot with panic. 
Pregnant. She was pregnant, there was no way she could be…
Except there was exactly a way she could be, seeing as she struggled even on a dry spell to keep her hands off Spencer longer than a few days at a time. And he was just as bad.
The nurse huffed, rifling through her drawers for a handful of pamphlets. She passed them to Bugsy whose mouth was still bobbing with more expletives she held herself back from saying, and it wasn’t until she saw the happy couple on the front of the first one, holding a very swollen and round bump that she thought she might be sick. 
Comical timing, she hissed at herself. 
“There are always options, sweetheart. Abortion is legal in Virginia, if that is what you decide, however there is always information and support that we recommend looking into before you make a solid decision,” Her response was professional even though her expression was compassionate, and Bugsy knew she must have looked scared because that was exactly how she felt and she had little to no room to hide it. 
Abortion? Is that what she wanted? Except it wasn’t just about what she wanted, it was what Spencer wanted too. Even if he would argue against that being the case in a heartbeat, even if he would tell her she had every right to be the only one to make a decision, no matter what he thought. But maybe it wasn’t so much about needing his opinion for that reason, and more it was because she had absolutely no clue what to do and Spencer was always good at making sense of the things she didn’t know how to deal with. 
She nodded silently, her mouth dry as sandpaper as she took the leaflets and stuffed them in the bottom of her purse where she hoped Spencer wouldn’t go looking. 
She barely remembered standing on liquid legs, barely remembered the way her chest felt tight and her head spun as she thought of the fact her body had a baby growing inside it. 
No, it wasn’t a baby. Not yet. It was likely the size of a grain of sand, miniscule. That wasn’t a baby, that was nothing. 
But it would be. Eventually. It would be hers and Spencer’s baby.
And she wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him the second she saw him there in the waiting room, his head shooting up the second the door opened and she left looking a little ill and shaken. 
“All done? Everything go as normal?”  He preened, standing immediately as she neared him, his hand immediately weaving around her shoulder to pull her close by. Gently, ofcourse, because she had a big, fat bandage where her implant should have been. 
“Y-yeah,” She stammered, hoping he didn’t hear the shake in her throat. Yet she knew immediately that he did. Because he leaned in to give her a delicate kiss to her forehead not even a moment later, “C-can we go straight home, I’m not feeling ice cream anymore,” 
He looked worried, as anyone who knew her would because Bugsy turning down free pudding was a blaring red siren in his eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” He said, stroking a gentle hand over the side of her head and leading her where he’d parked the car. 
And it was that worry, the same cloud that hung over him for months with Scratch and his mom and the Dirty Dozen and everything else that was put onto his shoulder that made her shut her mouth right then and there. He didn’t need one other thing to contend with, not when he was already carrying the weight of the world. 
And so she wouldn’t tell him. Not yet at least.
MONTH TWO. The one with the scan.
“Spence, would you stop worrying, I’m sure everything will be fine,” She urged in the gentlest tone she could muster. Yet she was a hypocrite, because she felt her hands shaking as she sat in the chair, trying to adjust her sleeves for something to do and Spencer stopped his leg from bouncing. 
Looking over at her, he sighed, holding out a large palm and weaving her fingers in between his and she flicked a look over at him, her own eyes nervous. 
“I’m sorry,” He gave her a guilty smile, “If it helps, it’s half excitement too,”
And she smiled then, shaking her head as he squeezed her hand gently. 
“Me too,” She confessed, looking down at her stomach that didn’t seem all too different than usual. She’d felt a few symptoms up until this point, a bit of nausea but that was nothing she couldn’t handle, headaches here and there. But it wasn’t anything exactly life changing that she’d expected when she’d always thought of pregnancy. 
If anything, none of it felt real quite just yet. Having only been a few weeks since she’d told Spencer, they’d spent the majority of the time searching for houses and appointments and gynaecologists and neonatal care, and whenever they were free, they were trying to get used to the idea of the two of them as parents.
“Did you know they’re around half an inch long by now,” Spencer said, his hazel eyes falling to where her shirt hid her stomach that had yet to change no matter how many times he stared at it, “About a third of that is made up of their head,”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” She shrugged, stroking her thumb along the edge of his pinky finger, “It’s your kid, they’re going to have biggest brain out there,” 
He snickered, lifting her hand to press a kiss to the back of it softly, “If they have even half your brains, we’re going to be raising the next Galileo,” 
“Mr and Mrs Reid,” Their heads shot up at the midwife, Bugsy fumbling for words to correct him as the two of them stood up to greet him with bashful smiles. She didn’t need to look at Spencer’s face to know he’d gone bright red. 
“It’s uh, Prentiss-Reid,” Spencer spluttered as they entered and the nurse looked again at his chart with wide eyes, his cheeks a little pink himself and he ushered the two of them into his office with a smile. 
“So it is, I do apologise,” He said earnestly, holding a hand out to gesture Bugsy to sit on the reclining bed, “I hate to stereotype, but usually when dad books the appointments, its because their wives are already doing a hundred other things,” 
“It’s okay, it happens,” She said with an awkward chuckle, avoiding Spencer’s eyes because they still hadn’t had that talk. Even though she knew her mother would frown at her grandchild being born a bastard, she didn’t care much for Elizabeth’s opinion. It wasn’t like marriages had ever led to good things for her mother anyway. 
She hopped up onto the examination cot, her heart quivering just the slightest in worry because the smell of bleach and rubber made the whole thing real. Until then, having a grain of rice growing inside her seemed like a fever dream since she’d only had a handful of side effects, throwing up could have easily been passed off as bad chicken, the head aches could have just been her eyes straining from using her computer too much. 
“Okay, everything feels okay, Mom? Nothing concerning at all?” And then the midwife said things like that, mom, and the part of her that almost forgot she was pregnant came to a screeching halt. 
She’d be a mom. Someone would call her mom. The thought of it made her suck in a breath.
“Uh, no.” She cleared her throat and felt Spencer grab her hand, “Morning sickness is kicking my ass, but nothing worrying,”
The nurse chuckled, and she felt Spencer rubbing his thumb over the back of her palm, his eyes burning into the side of her head. 
“Well, if it’s alright, I need you to lift your shirt up a little so we can have a see what’s going on,” He said with a kind smile, and she realised then he’d slipped latex gloves over his hands, and brandished a bottle of gel. 
She nodded absently, doing as he said and lifting her shirt to sit under her breasts, drawing the hem of her skirt down so he had a space to apply. And the second he did she sucked in breath through her nose, the cold of the air conditioning chilling her to her marrow, and she tried telling herself that’s why her hands were shaking. 
She felt Spencer’s fingers curve through her hair, and she reminded herself to breathe, looking over at him with nervous eyes she hoped he didn’t see straight through. But judging by the way he scooted the chair forward and gave her an encouraging smile, she guessed he’d seen the flicker of doubt in an instant. 
“It’s okay, it’s going to be fine,” He murmured, his own fear buried deep somewhere she couldn’t see anymore the second she had been the one to look to him for help. She knew she wanted this, knew she’d always dreamed of Spencer and her having their happily ever after. She knew whenever she’d let herself think of a little boy with chocolate curls and hazel eyes that she wanted all of that and more. 
But it was all so… real. Like seeing a movie come to life, and she was starring centre stage. Her body wasn’t a disposable shell that held thirty plus years of stupid mistakes and regrets and tattoos she’d decided she hated now. Her body had a whole other human inside it. 
The midwife clicked the machine on, the transducer wand ready in his hand as he gently put it on her lower stomach, barely a few centimetres from her panties, and she wondered why they showed the wand roaming over the woman’s belly button on tv shows since that was entirely wrong and not nearly as embarrassing. She let out a shaky breath, and Spencer stroked her head again, forcing her to give him an unsure look, like she was trying to calm herself for his sake but couldn’t.
His eyes were anxious though he squeezed her again with a smile and she saw it immediately, like he too was trying to be brave for her. 
She had never loved him so much. 
“Apologies for the shock, I know the gel can be a little cold,” The nurse said with a grin, and it was only then she realised the screen had lit up with a black and white image, one she’d seen a thousand times when she’d studied neonatal procedures for her degree. 
She knew that was her womb lining, and that was the amniotic fluid and that right there-
Bugsy froze, and judging by the way Spencer’s hand tightened around her own, he had too. She felt her mouth drop with a laugh of shock, and she sat up slightly to take a closer look at the monitor. 
“And there is baby,” The midwife said, his expression warming as he watched Spencer’s stand up to lean over the bed, not once letting go of the woman’s hand, the two of them utterly enraptured in the screen, “Probably about the size of a raspberry,”
And Bugsy laughed, her eyes lined with tears as she looked up at Spencer’s equally wetted hues. He was grinning from ear to ear when he looked down at her, and it wasn’t long before he brought his lips to her forehead, his nose and throat burning with a held cry. 
“Do you hear that? A whole raspberry already?” She said, her voice wobbling and he giggled, sitting back in his seat and rubbing his cheeks with his sleeve. “I am good at this cooking thing, might as well call me an easy bake oven,”
Spencer shook his head with another chuckle, his eyes trailing back to the little blob on the screen that looked more like a toy alien than anything else, and held her hand between both of his like he was in prayer. 
Because Spencer never believed in anything sacred and divine until he met Bugsy.
MONTH THREE. The one where they tell everyone.
“What are you doing?” Bugsy jumped out of her skin as JJ all but materialised behind her. She looked over her shoulder guiltily, her hand still half way through pouring out her mug of coffee Derek had handed her before he left to get lunch. 
She turned to see the blonde with her own steaming mug of decaf in her hands. She’d been taking the lack of caffeine much better this time around since having a second baby to breastfeed, considering she was nothing short of evil when she’d had Henry, which had been Spencer’s words not Bugsy’s. And it wasn’t as if the woman could blame her. She was grouchy when she didn’t get her regular dose even before being pregnancy, Derek had once gotten a kick to the shin when he’d disturbed her on a day she’d been too busy to grab one on her way to the office. 
She was a fiend for the bitter god. And everyone knew it. Which was exactly why JJ’s eyebrows were all but raised into her hairline seeing the girl who would usually be in the stages of withdrawal by now tipping the drink away. 
“Uh, the milk tasted funky,” She excused, though the way JJ narrowed her eyes at the poor excuse told her it hadn’t passed by a mile. 
“Right, the milk that Hotch picked up this morning?” JJ pursed her lips, sliding her own mug onto the side and jutting her hip. 
And as if he were summoned, Hotch sidled up to the kitchenette, Rossi and Tara hot on his heels as they flicked through some paperwork, and his head shot up the minute he heard his name. 
His eyes trailed to where the girl flipped her mug upside on the drying rack, and his brow furrowed. 
“Is everything alright?” He asked, and she huffed in response, wiping her hands on her jeans. 
“Yes, I’m fine,” She grumbled, shaking her head, “I don’t know what you’re all so wound up about, it’s not like I’m dying, I just don’t feel like coffee today-”
“Oh my god,” Penelope gasped where she crept behind Hotch with her very favourite octopus mug in tow, one that was nearly thrown to the floor when she heard the words pour from the girl’s mouth, “Are you sick? Like in the body or in the head? Rossi, check her pulse, I’m going to get a thermometer-”
“Pen, I’m fine,” She said unconvincingly and she tried to skirt past the group that seemed to have her surrounded. Seeing Spencer pulling up the rear in search of lunch she felt herself sigh in relief, because he would think of a much better excuse than she ever could. 
She had barely been able to keep her mouth shut for the months they had been secretly dating, and had relished in the peace it brought her when everyone knew. But the midwife had said it was common to keep things under wraps at least until the first trimester was over. Apparently the million of questions that were sure to be heading their way would cause her unnecessary stress, though she’d argue having to sneak to the sink every morning and dispose of a delicious looking coffee was torture enough. 
“What’s up?” Spencer asked as she ducked towards him, his hand consciously wrapping around her waist, and she huffed again, looking to him with a silent plea.
“They’re profiling me,” Bugsy said, and he felt his gut knot because he should have known it wouldn’t be long before they caught on. It was their job to pick apart out of the ordinary behaviour, and Bugsy going teetotal on caffeine was definitely something of a head turner.
“I told you that diet would cause a stir,” He joked, hoping they bought his pathetic attempt of an excuse, as he gave her side a gentle squeeze, and hoped that he could lead her back to her desk like she was a lost little lamb being prowled upon by nosy wolves that rarely took no for an answer. 
And it almost worked, almost, until JJ snapped her fingers and pointed at his wandering hand. 
“See that, that is the fourth time you’ve been all touchy and weird this week,” The blonde surprised, her brows furrowing, “Bugsy hates PDA, usually by now she would have whacked you over the head and called you a perv,”
Bugsy smashed her lips together because she couldn’t exactly disagree with her. That’s exactly what she usually did. Usually would tell Spencer to stop being so horny in a place of work even if she felt her cheeks heat at the delicate grabs of her stomach fat. 
But whether it was the little bean now around the size of a small lemon that had made her mellow and affectionate, or whether the lack of caffeine really was making her feel vulnerable, she wasn’t sure. And the whole thing was only made worse by Hotch’s eyes burning into the side of her, and she felt the trail of his gaze head straight for her stomach. 
“Come to think of it, I only saw you with a lime and soda at Savannah’s birthday last week,” Rossi pointed out, wagging his finger in her direction, his brown hues widening in thought, “When Penelope asked if you wanted tequila you said-”
“I’m all tequila-ed out,” Penelope chimed in with the same frown, “But that can’t be, when have you ever been tequila-ed out, that’s like impossible, even that night we had to help Spencer get you in the shower because you’d thrown up everywhere you were demanding more,”
She felt her cheeks heat thinking about her twenty ninth birthday, or atleast the parts of it she could remember of it before the rest of the gaps were filled with black spaces of time that she guessed had been robbed from her by the shots she piled on. 
“Maybe I just didn’t feel like tequila, can a girl not live in the moment?” She tried to rebuttal, only Penelope gave her a blank look that told her to try again because the Bugsy she knew would slap her for saying something so dumb. She opened her mouth to correct her again, but Hotch beat her to it. 
“You know Hayley got really affectionate a couple months into being pregnant,” The man said, his eyes swirling with something proud and warm when he saw Bugsy’s head flick to him like she’d been caught red handed, which they had. “Though, if you ask me I think she was just a little sorry for herself that I took the coffee away,”
There was a beat of silence, and the room held its breath. Even Tara, who had only known them the best part of a few months raised her hand to her mouth in shock, and Bugsy shot a look at Spencer in utter defeat. 
“We tried,” She said with her shoulders shrugging, and it was then that the office was filled with a piercing scream that turned a fair few heads and the infamous octopus mug was thrown clear across the kitchen floor, one of his tentacles snapping clean off. 
“OH MY GOD, IT’S TRUE? YOU’RE PREGNANT?” Penelope wailed like a banshee, and Bugsy couldn’t help but break into a smile, nodding at the woman who screeched again and yanked her in for a tight hug, “Oh my god, there's going to be three of you, three geniuses, three little einsteins that I want to smush together and kiss all over-” 
“Garcia, I think she needs air if she’s going to make another little genius,” Rossi said, and the tech analyst pulled away aghast, cupping Bugsy’s face that was still grinning ear to ear with a chuckle.
“Oh my god, I didn’t hurt you did I? Or the baby- Oh my god there’s a baby in there!” 
Hotch wrapped a rare yet tender arm around Spencer’s shoulder, giving him a little pat and a “Congratulations” while Rossi smiled knowingly between the couple and JJ had her turn smothering Bugsy in a tearful hug. 
And by the time Derek had walked into the office with his everything bagel hanging between his teeth and a tea in his hands, his onyx hues fell to Penelope, JJ and Bugsy exchanging weepy words while Tara handed them tissues with her own sparkling eyes.
“What fresh hell did I miss?”
MONTH FOUR. The one where she starts looking different.
She huffed, her fingers gripping the edge of her jeans and yanking them up her thighs as far as they would go. She felt like everything had shrunk in the wash, or like she was trying on a doll’s wardrobe. Surely she hadn’t gained that much weight in just a few months, but then again she’d been all but living off chocolate pudding cups since the Bean decided it wanted sugar, sugar and more sugar. 
She grunted in annoyance, her arms and back aching where she was leaning over to pull at the infernal things. She barely had a second to pout childishly, before kind hands were wrapping around her stomach and a mouth kissed at her neck tenderly. 
“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” His voice was honey sweet, thick and goopy with love overflowing as he pulled her to his chest, his hand caressed the bump that seemed to be getting in the way of her and her favourite jeans. Spencer knew she tried to ignore the symptoms that almost every woman felt during pregnancy, he knew she compared herself to how JJ had handled both pregnancies gracefully and looked better than ever even as a mother of two. He knew she hated complaining because she didn’t want him to think she was miserable carrying their kid, but god was she getting sick of her clothes pinching her in.
“I’m getting fatter,” Bugsy grumbled, her eyes darting to the vivid lines that had deepened into the crease of her hips within a few weeks and she winced, “I’m not even halfway, how does this kid want to eat pudding all the time?” 
Spencer frowned, shaking his head slightly because he refrained from telling her what a silly statement it was, knowing it would only make her feel worse, and instead pressed delicate kisses to her jaw, squeezing her closer. He’d noticed the stretch marks, just as he’d noticed her face and hips gathering weight a bit more than usual, and was just grateful there was even more Bugsy to love. 
“You’re eating for two, you’re literally growing a whole life inside of you. I think that is more than enough grounds to eat whatever you want,” He murmured, biting the inside of his cheek when she sighed as though she didn’t believe him, “Honey, clothes are replaceable. What your body’s trying to do is create a little bubble around you and this little pudding fiend so you can feed them when they’re out here,” 
Bugsy knew he was right. She’d spent well over a hundred hours researching hormone levels and how pregnant bodies are changing all hours of the day to accommodate the foetus, she knew it was normal for things to look different. Had it been on anyone else she wouldn’t have batted an eye. But it didn’t make the sting of seeing her body morph into one she didn’t recognise any less harsh.
“I know,” She hummed somewhat defeated, turning in his arms to press her face in his neck, “I just didn’t expect it to happen so fast is all,”
Spencer smiled warmly, because every day he thought she had gotten impossibly prettier. He hadn’t believed in ‘pregnancy glow’, in fact he’d chalked it down to some sort of innate scientific survival tactic that associated a vulnerable woman with looking angelic, at least not until he’d woken up to see her stomach protruding from her pyjama top in a clear curve shape and he thought her face looked like she should be in some Monet painting, dozing in a field like a wide eyed doe. 
“I know, it’s a lot for anyone to go through. But you know I’m so grateful for you,” Spencer said, and he felt her smile without even seeing it. Her fingers wove into his hair at the nape of his neck, kissing a trail up his chest because he suspected she looked somewhat embarrassed. “Besides, I’m not complaining. It means I get to do this,” 
She felt two large hands grab at the fat of her bum cheeks and she squeaked in surprise, even though she heard him laugh in her ear at her reaction. That had been another thing she’d noticed, and how could she not. Penelope said just the other day that she was ‘baking a bun in the oven and cake in the trunk’ with a little wink, and she’d had to excuse herself quickly for lack of a response. 
And Spencer wasn’t lying. He wasn’t complaining with any of it, not by a long shot. 
MONTH FIVE.  The one with the mood swings.
“So you guys really don’t want to know the sex?” JJ asked, sipping on her tea as she chatted with Bugsy who was balancing biscuits on top of her now protruding stomach. It was as if overnight the baby had stretched out enough to make themselves a damn penthouse suite in Bugsy’s tummy. 
“We want it to be a surprise, either way we’re going to love the little bean, even if they do keep kicking my bladder at four am,” She said, balancing the tenth cookie on the tower she’d made, reaching over carefully for another one, “I swear if the bean kicks my cookie tower I’m giving them a hideous name,”
“It’s good to feel the baby kicking at this stage, it helps develop their joints and bones so they’re stronger when they’re born.” Spencer inputted helpfully as he slid a fresh mug of decaf tea over to her desk.
“Next time the baby kicks your uterus walls, Spence, gimme a shout and we’ll discuss how great it is,” Bugsy said with a small smile and he paused, looking at JJ as if he was caught in a trap, suddenly well aware of his mistake. 
“Point taken,” He conceded quietly, and JJ chuckled because she’d seen Will just as hesitant to piss her off in both of her pregnancies. And she knew Bugsy would never hold it against him, that Spencer’s head just ran away from him sometimes. 
She halted her little game and carefully leaned over to draw the mug to her lips, too impatient to wait for it to cool down fully and she barely spotted Derek swooping around the corner of the desk.
“Good morning, Mommies and Daddy Genius,” He greeted in that chirpy tone, his hand snatching up the top cookie and scarfing it down before she could protest. 
Bugsy shared her snacks all the time, it was a no brainer that they took a bite here and there out of each other's goodies before they could get a smack to the wrist. And Derek had certainly noticed a few of his Rolos missing the last time he bought a pack, and a particularly cheerful Bugsy smirking at him over her desk. 
It wasn’t a huge deal, and yet Bugsy sat up in a gasp, and the entire biscuit tower fell to a crumbling mess on the floor. 
“Well done, princess, Hotch is going to-” Derek stopped mid sentence when he saw her sniffle, and his eyes widened at the sight of her eyes glistening with tears, “Bugsy- are you okay-”
“My cookies! Derek!” She whined pitifully, and she buried her face in her hands, “My cookies, I was so going to eat the shit out of those, they were gonna be so good, Derek,” 
Morgan looked gobsmacked, his head whipping between the woman leaning against the desk with an understanding smile and Spencer who was already rubbing her shoulders with his lips smashed together, trying not to laugh. 
“Honey, it’s okay, he didn’t mean to,” Her partner tried to coo, though he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the way Derek scrambled to draw out his wallet. 
“I’ll get you more, Bug, I swear, they sell them by the deli down the street, right?” He asked, jittering in his bones because he’d never made her cry before. He worried or a moment Hotch might just put him on sabbatical leave for such an offense. Emily would probably fly to Virginia just to cave his skull in, “I’m sorry, I’ll go get more, I’ll even get you strawberry milk-”
“Chocolate milk,” She wailed, and JJ slid a box of tissues over to the pitiful girl with a silent snicker. She remembered all too well the feeling of unexplained emotion crashing over her, and she didn’t doubt that the tough faced Bugsy would be back to normal any moment soon.
“Chocolate milk, got it,” Derek said, with a nod, and he all but darted for the elevators, in a hurry Spencer somewhat suspected was down to the fact he feared for his life if Penelope got a whiff of what happened.
Bugsy sniffled for a moment, drawing a tissue out the box and dabbing her eyes sullenly, her feelings slightly worse for wear even if she had a small inkling of doubt that she was really so torn up about the cookies as her body made it seem. 
But she had been thinking about them all morning; made herself promise she would only eat them once she got the stack fifteen high at least. 
“Are you okay, baby?” Spencer asked, his gaze empathetic as she snuffled her sobs into the palm of her hands. He wasn’t too worried, even if he hated seeing her cry just as much as anyone else did. And it wasn’t that he didn’t take her seriously. But when she’d been crying just that morning because her shower gel spilled on the floor and tipped almost all the way out, or even when she’d stepped on a snail walking into the building and smushed it into the ground, effectively killing it, he seemed to be getting used to her mood swings. 
She sniffed woefully, “I was really looking forward to those, and now I think I was too mean to Derek and…” Her eyes glistened with fresh tears, and the sight of it made Spencer sigh, leaning forward to kiss the side of her head because it must be difficult being so out of your usual self for nine months. 
“And what?” He prompted softly. Only she burst out crying again, reaching forward to drag him into a hug that told him she was feeling extra sorry for herself.
He wouldn’t blame her. Would sit through every weep and sob and tantrum if it meant he got to show her even more times over that he loved her endlessly. 
However he did have to hold in the giggle when she wailed; “I think I really do want strawberry milk,” 
MONTH SIX. The one with the false labour. 
She had been in Hotch’s office when she felt it. 
Embarrassingly so, her first thought was trapped gas. She’d gotten a lot of that considering the baby had decided it craved spice, and had been planning to excuse herself when it felt like her whole abdomen seized as if she’d been hit with a particularly nasty period cramp. 
Her hand flew to her stomach where she sat with Hotch reviewing her latest reports, the same quarterly check the whole team was mandated to have with their boss since Cruz became section chief. Hotch didn’t miss a beat, the folder in his hand hitting the desk in an instant as he tensed, looking at her with caution. 
“Are you alright?” He asked, and she held her breath for a moment. Spencer was out with Rossi giving a lecture in Washington DC, JJ had the day off for her mom’s birthday, Penelope and Morgan were taking Tara to lunch to show her a few more of their regular spots. It was just them and Anderson in the office for the next few hours, possibly the worst time out of any to have an empty floor. 
“Yeah- I just, woah,” Her stomach gave another lurch of a painful twist and her hand slapped on the table to keep herself steady. She breathed through the pain, because she’d had much worse only that wasn’t what was making her heart race. It was fear. Because she wasn’t due for another twelve weeks at least, and while she’d heard of baby’s being born as premature as six months, she knew premy babies suffered major complications later on, let alone the stress their body goes under during the actual birth. 
Bean, as the team had affectionately named the baby since the couple had firmly decided they didn’t want to know the sex, was about the size of red cabbage, tiny in the scheme of things even though it felt like just a few minutes ago they were a grain of rice. 
“Okay, it’s okay, stay calm,” Hotch said in a smooth voice, gentle yet reassuring as he rounded his desk in a flash and put his hand on her shoulder, “Do you feel like you need to use the toilet? Any back ache or irritability?” 
Bugsy breathed out through her nose as her lungs jittered with nerves, “N-no, I don’t need the bathroom, why would that matter?” 
Aaron stroked a large kind hand down her spine, watching her face scrunch in pain for a second time, and he slowly began directing her towards the door, taking small steps so she wasn’t rushing. “Needing to use the bathroom is an early sign of labour, it’s your body's way of helping expand your pelvis to accommodate the head. Any back ache or frustration at all?” 
He didn’t care that he’d had to repeat himself, not even when he was usually so against it, because he could feel the own unease rising in his throat like bile even if he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. 
He would be damned if he let her see how worried he was, and so he swallowed heavily, holding his other hand out for her to take when they approached the stairs. Anderson was on his feet in seconds when he saw his unit chief leading the woman with a tightly concealed frown, fumbling around for his phone. 
“Agent Prentiss?” He exclaimed, darting around the mess of chairs and paper and desks to approach them, “Would you like me to call Dr Reid? An ambulance, perhaps?” 
“She's alright, I’m driving her to the ER, thank you Anderson,” Aaron responded politely, his hand still resting on her back, and the agent nodded, digging around for his keys. 
“I can drive, if you’d like to ride in the back with her,” Grant offered with worried eyes as Bugsy’s face crumpled in agony again, and Hotch’s head whipped to her, and his composure crumbled for a moment. 
“Bugsy, hey, it’s okay, we’re gonna be okay, honey,” He cooed, and Anderson was quick to open the glass doors, “Did you pack a bag at all-”
“No, Spencer told me I should but I said it was too early, why is that man always right,” She grumbled, her footsteps weary and jittery as the three of them got into the elevator. 
Hotch fought a smile, trying to remember everything he’d memorised before Hailey had Jack. The 5-1-1 rule blared through his head, and he glanced at his watch for a fraction of a second, and he wondered for a moment if he was going to have to write off a company vehicle for the fact his youngest agent gave birth in the back seat. 
“I’m afraid that’s just how Reid operates,” Hotch said, pulling his phone out to dial the man in question and let him know where they were headed, “It’s probably nothing, Hailey was getting cramps all the time once she reached her third trimester, but we’ll get you checked out to be safe,” 
“Really?” She looked at him with pitiful eyes and he nodded with a tight smile, committing to his illusion of calmness even if he swore he hadn’t felt so scared in months. 
Because it wasn’t just Bugsy anymore, it was Bugsy and her baby. Her and Reid’s baby. The two people who deserved their happy ending more so than anyone else he knew. 
And he felt her hand slip into his then as she accepted his answer, in fact she didn’t let go the entire time she waited on Spencer and Aaron was in no rush to leave her side. Even when she lay back on the table and had the midwife checking everything over, he stayed by her head (no doubt to avoid a very awkward conversation), stroked her hair when she fretted through a few more cramps, even when Spencer burst in through the door with Morgan at his heels looking like the two of them had just ran a marathon.
“Is everything okay- what’s wrong- do you need fluids- do you need ice-” Spencer rushed on his odd breath, his chest puffing with inhales, and he pretended he wasn’t seeing stars floating across his vision. 
“I’m assuming by your reaction you’re dad,” The nurse said, pulling off the blue gloves and dropping her mask from her mouth.
“Yes, he is, he’s dad,” Morgan filled in for him as Spencer all but fell back against the wall, because he really should have drank something other than soda and coffee this morning. He was close to swaying on his feet when he stepped over to his girlfriend, and she took his hand in the her own, or atleast the one that wasn’t occupied by Hotch’s tight hold. 
“Don’t worry, everything is alright with mom and baby,” She said, noting down a few things on her chart and the four of them took an audible sigh of relief, “Braxton Hicks contractions are very common in your final trimester, it probably felt like a lot because your baby is moving to into the anterior position ready for birth,” 
Bugsy’s head flopped back against the pillow in comfort and she forced herself to take a few deep breaths, willing her heart rate to go back to normal. Braxton Hicks, she should have known. Her head had been fuzzy the past few weeks as it was, but she supposed the moment she’d thought there might be something wrong with the Bean, all of her logic had flown out the window. 
But at least she’d had Hotch to keep her level headed, and-
“Oh my god, Anderson,” She jolted up, her legs stuck in the stirrups the midwife had place her into while she examined everything, “We need to tell Anderson, the poor guy was so worried,”
Hotch chose not to tell her he’d seen Anderson go as white as a ghost the second she’d turned her back, and instead patted her leg as Spencer went to speak to the midwife a little more, no doubt picking apart every single symptom she’d presented in that huge, worried head of his. 
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Anderson is fine, honey,” He said earnestly, and she looked at him like a kicked puppy, entirely sorry for the panic she’d caused, “Let’s just get you your underwear back, huh?”
MONTH SEVEN. The one where they decorate the nursery.
“What about Elias,” 
“Veto,”
Bugsy pulled a shunned expression as she carefully rolled the wallpaper up the wall. 
“Mason? Niko, stop,” She proposed, one hand on the wall while using the other to push the nosey feline away from the wet paste she’d been brushing on the wall. 
He sat politely at her chide, blinking at her with those big eyes as he watched her work with a twitching tail, almost entertained at the woman who had ballooned up in just a few weeks struggling to do a relatively easy task. 
“Hmm, Mason can go on the bench,” Spencer responded where he was sitting at the other end of the wall doing the same thing only much faster, though she’d argue it was a little easier since he wasn't carrying a large coconut strapped to his stomach.
They’d left the apartment just two weeks ago. Derek had been the one to help them cart their small amount of furniture into the modest house on the outskirts of West Springfield. It was large by Spencer’s standards, even if Bugsy had seen what grandeur looked like in her own childhood homes, but it didn’t matter. Because walls and floors and fancy grand pianos had never bought her love. Yet the first evening they’d spent in their new home they had slept on a mattress on the floor, the list of things to do the following day rattling around their heads. But they had a home. They had the picket fence with the nice school down the road and the bus stop within eyesight of the kitchen where their kid would one day walk to their door with a book bag and glasses like Spencer’s. 
She had never felt like she belonged somewhere until she had a home with him. 
“What about Ada for a girl?” Spencer called over his shoulder, where he had almost caught up to where she was still working on the small patch of wall. The paper was proving frustrating for her swollen fingers, considering the entire thing, when put together, made up a mural of little woodland creatures amidst a forest and left zero room for error, “Named after Ada Lovelace, the woman who pioneered computers,”
Considering it for a moment, she nodded, “That’s pretty. Ada makes top ten,” 
Flipping the last part up to stick against the thick glue, she ran her hands over the seams to be sure it aligned perfectly with the rest of the picture. Satisfied when it matched and a little fox stared down at her, she smiled, tilting her head up where Spencer was standing over her, watching her concentrate. 
“All done!” She chirped, and he bent down to give her a kiss to her puckered lips, sliding a hand beneath her arm to help her up. 
“Looks perfect, you’re really carrying the team honey,” He mused as she got to her feet with a little whine, wrapping her arms around his middle in a proud hug. 
“I know, what would you ever do without me?” 
He laughed, looking at her with an adoring gaze.
The light cracked through the open window, laying over her face delicately. The house was still bare, still in need of carpets and a good dusting, still had leaky pipes and ants in the pantry. Yes, they had a pantry now. But it was a start. It was a home. 
“I say we leave the cradle for another day, baby is calling for frozen grapes again,” She said, rubbing a hand over her protruding belly button and he smiled. Spencer could have sworn he was the luckiest guy in the world when he called her his friend. He thought maybe he should have bought a lottery ticket the same day she told him she loved him. The day she became his girlfriend he thinks he may have died and the past three years have been purely a dream. 
But watching the breeze kiss her cheeks and stroke her hair, watching her eyes rove over the room that would keep their baby safe and warm in just a few weeks, even seeing her smile at him like he had handed her the whole universe in a box when she was the one growing a whole human inside her; Spencer felt like his life was so much better than he ever hoped it would be. 
“Frozen grapes, coming right up,” He said, slipping his fingers in between his to help her down the winding staircase which had been a winner for her immediately. It’s like we have a castle, Spence. “You or the baby could ask for a whole damn ox and I’d give it to you.”
She laughed, holding onto the bannister as they headed downstairs to the kitchen that was in dire need of fresh paint. 
“What if I said baby wants a holiday to Cancun and another cat,” 
“I’d say baby is onto something there,” Spencer said, sweeping her from the final step and giving her a wet kiss to her head, “But first, grapes.”
MONTH EIGHT. The one where she gets cranky.
“Oh my god,” She groaned as she threw herself into her wheely chair, her button up shirt barely accommodating her stomach that was well and truly ready to pop.  
Derek Morgan loved her, he truly loved her like she was one of his sisters, dare say he had loved her since that day he’d carried her out of the church she was held hostage in by Cyrus. He had seen her at her rock bottom, had seen her graduate with flying colours, had even put his job on the line for her; covered her back from a stupid mistake at a bar when she popped a little molly on government pay. 
Derek loved her. He did. But the moment he saw her slump into her chair, her face scrunched up in frustration, he was collecting his mug of coffee and all but bolting for the door and heading straight for Penelope’s lair. 
“Back pain again?” JJ asked, flitting past a very frantic Morgan and heading towards Rossi’s office with a stack of papers in her arms. Bugsy let out something close to a growl in return, and JJ took it as a yes.
“I swear I have been pregnant for years,” She huffed, barely reaching over to where her keyboard sat at her desk. Tara nudged it forward for her to grab, because it seemed like she was on her breaking point enough as it was, and received a brief nod of thanks “I can’t remember a time when my back didn’t hurt, or my boobs were aching or my head wasn’t all fuzzy and weird and- OH for the love of god SWITCH ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT,” 
JJ’s brows raised as the keyboard mouse went flying off the side of her desk in protest, rolling straight past where Hotch and Spencer were strolling through the office, her boyfriend carrying the biggest Strawberry Milkshake he could find on this side of town. 
If Hotch wanted to say anything about her damaging property, he thought it smarter to keep his mouth shut as she swivelled to face the two of them, her expression already irritated by the worried stare they shot her way. 
“What?” She said with a bite, and Spencer raised his hands in surrender, which left her gaze to slide to Hotch. 
And Hotch loved her too, loved her more than he would ever admit. But he swore he the second her eyes clamped on his, Aaron Hotchner considered an exorcism might be necessary. 
“What, what are you staring at me for?” She snapped, throwing her hands out like a bratty teenager, and Hotch cleared his throat before he spoke, something embarrassingly close to fear shaking his vocal chords.
“Have you given any more thought to maternity leave, yet?” He asked and her eye twitched, and it was as if he saw the stapler was next on her list of things to send flying off the table, preferably straight at his head. “I would be more than happy to pull some strings so you take longer off after the baby is born, maybe even Spencer could start his paternity early-”
“What?” She said for a third time, like she was a broken record. And she knew she was being unfair, perhaps even cruelly so. But she would make it up to them later, when she was in a better frame of mind. Her underwear rode up and pinched where her uterus had begun to drop, her trousers itched for whatever reason, her face was hot from just walking from the elevator to her chair and that was just since she’d entered the office. She hadn’t got much energy for showers anymore and so washing her hair became some ugly affair where Spencer got in with her and did it for her, only last time he put a little too much product on and got the suds in her eyes and they had spent twenty minutes rinsing her face, naked and dripping wet, over the sink. She felt awful, awful for how she was being so irrationally rude, but it was like every inch of her being was uncomfortable. And there was still another month to go.
“Good god, man, don’t poke the bear,” Tara hummed as she passed, taking her own half full mug to the kitchen to escape whatever was rumbling in that hot head of hers. 
Hotch swallowed heavily, noticing how Spencer stayed deadly quiet no doubt because he’d learned his lesson in trying to force Bugsy into doing something when she was like this, “I’m saying I think it would be good for you to take some time off, you’ve both worked hard enough as it is and with the baby being so close, it would be good to take it easy for a few weeks-” 
She pressed her lips together, because she knew he was probably trying to help, probably trying to be considerate, and yet the heat of annoyance bubbled up inside her all the same like a kettle on the precipice of boiling.
“If you want the big scary pregnant lady out of your way just spit it out, Hotch,” She snapped, scowling at him in a way he remembered Hailey doing when he so much as sneezed too loud.
And he couldn’t find it in him to be mad at her. Because anyone with eyes saw she was uncomfortable, he knew if she was anything like his own ex-wife then she wouldn’t be sleeping nearly as much as she should, that more than likely their kid would be already kicking with long, scrawny legs to get out and show the world what they were made of. 
Hotch was saved from the firing line when his guess was proved almost immediately, and she groaned with a hand to her abdomen. 
“Spencer, would you tell your kid they’re not a linebacker and that my kidneys aren’t the damn ball,” She complained, and her partner flashed her a brave smile, leaning over her to rub where she was caressing her battered organs. 
“Actually, right about here will be your spleen since the baby has pushed everything around at this stage-” And with that Hotch darted towards his office because Bugsy looked ready to clip someone around the ear, and he didn’t have the heart to write her up for it.
Although for the sanctity of his team, he rushed her documents through the same afternoon and gave her an extra four weeks pay in lieu of a truce. 
MONTH NINE. The one with the birth.
It had been fourteen hours already when the doctor mentioned the word caesarean. 
“Caesarean? We never planned for a C-section,” Bugsy’s eyes widened where she was intermittently sucking down gas and air, Spencer patting her forehead down with an ice wet cloth. 
But then again she supposed she had never planned to go into labour when getting the laundry off the washing line while Spence painted the porch. 
He looked at her with nervous hazel hues where her face sparkled with sweat and water, her hand squeezing him tightly as another contraction hit. 
“I’m afraid we have few options left, Miss Prentiss,” The midwife said, a woman around her age that was already masked up after prodding around her cervix for a few hours, “Fourteen hours is rough on anyone and we’re not seeing any movement past your pelvis. Any longer and you or your baby might be at risk,”
And it was the truth, but it was a harsh one, and tears sprung to her eyes hearing those last few words. She had never had any delusions it would be easy giving birth, it was revered as the most painful thing anyone could go through, but she had assumed on a hope and a prayer that things would go smoothly. 
“I know it’s scary,” Spencer found his voice after a second, their hands clasped tightly together because there was more chance of snow in hell than there was he was letting her do this alone, “But, baby, you’re doing so well, and you’re almost there,” He said in a watery sweet tone, dabbing at her brow once more and the two of them exchanged a teary look, “It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay, they’re going to numb you for the whole thing and when it’s over we’re going to have our baby, huh?” 
She smiled ruefully because he was trying desperately to cheer her up, even though it sounded like he was reassuring himself just as much as he was her.
And she nodded, because she knew he was right, and more than anything she wanted their baby to be safe, even if it meant having her insides scooped out like she was some russian nesting doll. 
“O-okay, yeah, c-can Spencer stay with me?” She asked nervously, and the midwife smiled, pressing a button to call for the anesthesiologist.
“Ofcourse, honey. Just try to relax, we’re going to arrange an epidural for you,” She said in a voice that told Bugsy she’d practised staying calm in an emergency a thousand times. 
Bugsy breathed through her nose, feeling Spencer swoop in to wipe the lone few tears dribbling down her cheeks. 
“It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna be okay,” He said, his voice bustling with nerves and she wanted to tell him the same, wanted to tell him she loved him more than ever for trying to put a brave face on for her sake. But she couldn’t, so she nodded frantically, leaning her forehead against his cheek and taking a few more deep breaths. 
“You’re doing great, honey, you’re being so brave,” Spencer reassured in his biggest voice, his hand carding over the side of her hot face gently. There was blood, there was so much blood, and the sound of her monitor was the only sound that was constant and not at all worrying with its steady heart beat. 
The midwives were flitting around the room, the lead obstetrician making careful incisions and handing various things Spencer didn’t want to see over to his co-workers. Because he loved their baby already, couldn’t wait to meet the mini him he’d been dreaming about since he was a boy himself, but Bugsy needed him first. She was his everything, his whole life, his whole universe fading between clear consciousness and a slightly loopy gaze as she relaxed on the table. 
“Is it over? Are they here, are they okay?” She slurred, looking over at him where his hair was covered in a blue scrub cap, his entire body wrapped in protective uniform to minimise the risk of infection on her body. 
He cradled her face again, shaking his head, “Not yet honey, you’re doing so good, it’s nearly over,” Spencer said, pressing his brow against hers because he had a mask over his mouth and couldn’t kiss her properly, “I love you so much, I swear I’ll try every day of my life to repay you,” 
“You’re being mushy, you’re freaking me out,” She joked as if she was her regular self, because the midwives had all warned him that the sedatives would take the edge off her nerves. And he chuckled, even if he was worrying enough for the two of them, sniffling behind the stuffy mask he had to keep on until she was in recovery. 
“I’m sorry, baby, I just want you to be okay,” Spencer said earnestly, and he pressed a kiss to her head anyway even if she wouldn’t feel it with his mask, “I’m gonna get you so many milkshakes when this is-”
There was a wail behind the curtain they had draped over her stomach, and both their breaths stopped in their chests. 
“Is that…” Bugsy started, her eyes wide and alert even if seconds ago she had been almost drunk, “Is that it- is that them?”
And another scream resounded around the room as if to answer her. 
Spencer swore he had never felt tears well in his eyes so fast until one of the midwives brought a wriggling, wrinkly bundle around the curtain, and within seconds he felt his cheeks sodden with tears. 
“Oh my god,” He said his smile reaching his eyes as the little creature was put on Bugsy’s chest, and it was only then he realised she was weeping too and he resumed his position stroking her head, “It’s a-”
“It’s a girl! Spencer, we have a girl!” Bugsy’s grin went from ear to ear, her eyes round and adoring at the ugly, scrunched face still screaming at them, her eyes closed and her skin covered in a white goop, “Oh my god, she’s so beautiful,” 
“I told you she’d take after you,” Spencer said, not minding the nurses sewing Bugsy up as they stared at their little girl, Bugsy’s arms holding her body weight delicately though she didn’t quite know what she was doing. 
Spencer was quick to remove the mask once they cleared him to, and the second he was freed he pushed his lips to his girlfriend’s, their mouths equally as salty and sodden as one another with the way their cheeks washed with tears. Pulling away, he looked at her in the eyes, the same eyes he’d always loved, the same eyes he’d know in any life, in any world, in any fog, and their smiles were damn near blinding. 
“I love you so much, I swear I’m going to make it up to you, anything you want,” Spencer said, kissing her again, his hand resting over hers where she held their baby girl on her bare chest. 
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she already had everything she’d ever wanted right there with her. 
“I love you so much more, Spencer,” She said quietly, the two of them pulling away when the little girl squealed again and they chuckled, quickly rushing to calm her cries as they looked at her as if they had yet to realise she was real and she was theirs, “Oh my god Spencer, you’re a daddy,”
“Bugsy, you’re a mommy,” He said with raised brows and she gasped, giggling with glee as her free hand flew to grab his face and pull him in to kiss her again, “We’re a mommy and daddy,” 
The two of them burst out laughing even though overjoyed tears lined their eyes again, and Spencer trailed a large finger down her chubby cheek softly, her skin shrivelled and pruney like she’d been submerged in a bath for too long. 
“Spencer, she’s perfect,” She said after a moment, her breath completely stolen when she took her in, the small head completely covered in dark hair, which she had already suspected would be there from the amount of times she found herself itching at her stomach. Her tiny fists waved in the air as her sobs subsided, beginning to warm up to the skin on Bugsy’s chest, and Spencer audibly choked in a cry of his own when her eyelids slowly blinked open and revealed forest hues damn near identical to his own. He pushed his temple to Bugsy’s again as she carefully swayed her from side to side.
“I’m never going to let anything hurt you,” He murmured, his breath warm on her collarbone and his baby girl stared back at him like she understood, even though he knew that was pretty much  impossible, “Either of you,” 
Bugsy sniffled with a wobbly smile, her hands shaking as she held her daughter up, “Do you want to hold her?” 
Spencer looked ready to wail all over again, not that she would ever hold it against him. The two of them had been weeping all day, and their kid was a real tear jerker to look at with her thick lashes and wide eyes. 
He was quick to pop open his shirt, holding his hands out nervously as she placed the baby in his arms, his fingers supporting under her head the whole time he brought her to his chest. 
Bugsy smiled, the midwife checking in with her for a moment before they were ready to wheel her into the other room to rest up, while Spencer looked entirely enamoured with the little bundle in his arms. 
He was a dad. He had made this beautiful, perfect little girl with the woman he loved more than anything in the world, and somehow she had given him even more reasons to feel so lucky. 
“Hello, you,” He said through bleary eyes, smiling through a chuckle when he saw just how tiny she looked in his arms, and he had never seen anything look so fragile, “I’m going to try be the best dad you could ever have, okay? I’m gonna be there for all the lame parties, and the sleepovers and the big games and every single time you need help on your homework, I’m gonna be right there with you.” 
“What name are we putting on the chart?” The midwife asked as Bugsy watched Spencer murmur to the sweet face that looked up at him in wonder, “Or is it just Baby Girl Prentiss for the moment?” 
“It’s Reid,” Bugsy said with a smile, as Spencer poured even more of his gentle heart out in promises she knew he would keep until the day he died. And she knew without checking with him the name they chose weeks ago was perfect; the one they’d decided on just a few days after the nursery was finished and she had yet another bowl of frozen grapes to chow down on while they admired their work. 
One for his mother, one for Emily. 
“Ana Emilia Reid,”
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bullet-prooflove · 3 months ago
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Bunny: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Reader
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Tagging: @kmc1989 @dizzybee03 @cosmic-psychickitty @puredicks @queenslandlover-93
Companion piece to:
Lipstick (NSFW) - Robby has never been with a woman like you.
Crisis - Robby has a bad day.
ASMR For The Soul - Robby doesn’t sleep when you’re not around.
Something To Complain About (NSFW) - You ignite the ire of Robby’s neighbour with your bedroom noises.
Noise Cancelling - Robby discovers his neighbour keeps a spreadsheet of your antics.
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Robby doesn’t realise you’ve been keeping secrets, not until three months into the relationship when they all come hurtling out in the midst of one of his shifts.
It starts when an elderly resident named  Bonnie King arrives from one of those upscale nursing homes. She’s been brought in with fractured skull, disoriented, crying out for Bunny. They can’t work out if the confusion she’s exhibiting is from the injury or the dementia so Robby steps in to help with the assessment.
“Whose Bunny?” He asks Bonnie, trying to gauge her lucidity after they settle her down.
“My daughter.” She responds as Whitaker cleans up the head laceration from her slip and fall in the bathroom. “She’s pro surfer out in Hawaii. She taking a shot at the world championships soon. Maybe I can set the two of you up?”
“I’ve already got a girlfriend Ms King.” Robby tells her as he flashes a penlight into her eyes to check her pupil reaction. “But thanks for the thought.”
“Oh she won’t be as pretty as my Bunny.” She guarantees as she reaches for her purse and  pulls out an accordion of photographs, shoving them under his nose.
He surveys them with feigned interest, the baby pictures, the teenage years. It isn’t until he reaches the early twenties that he realises that her Bunny, holding a surfboard with a whole host of sponsorship labels attached to it, is his Allegra.
“Why do you call her Bunny?” He asks, struggling to put the pieces together because you have never mentioned Hawaii or surfing, not the entire time he’s known you.
“She was always an energetic little thing.” Bonnie said fondly as he hands her back the wallet containing your precious memories. “She used to bounce off the balls as a child…”
“…just like a bunny.” He finishes because you have ADHD and he guesses that was how it manifested as a kid.
“That’s right.” She beams and that smile, it’s definitely yours.
Robby does a little research after that, watching surf videos, reading interviews. The shit you used to do on the water it’s phenomenal, which raises questions about why you aren’t still doing it. It isn’t until he compares your mom’s medical file with a couple of articles from around the time of your retirement that he gets his answer.
Family circumstances, you’d told the interviewer. It tallies up with your mom’s initial diagnosis. She’d been clipped by a car after wandering into the street, admitted with a fractured hip and confusion.
You must have given up your career to move back to Pittsburgh and take care of her, using your winnings from the competitions to make sure she was in a top of the line care facility. He’s seen how you live, it’s not the lifestyle of someone who has hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank.
He can’t imagine what it must have been like to give up that dream, to move to a place where the closest beach is almost three hours away when your entire life has been spent out on the water. He thinks that must be why you don’t talk about, the pain of letting that all go…
It would have destroyed a lesser person.
It’s an hour later you arrive at the hospital. You’d been out hiking at Montour Woods Conservation Area when you got the call. He realises all that outdoor shit you do, it’s a way of trying to find that peace you lost when you left Hawaii.
“My mom?” You ask, your voice raw with emotion when you appear in front of him and Dana.
“Let me take you to her, fill you in on what’s going on.” He says kindly before he guides you to her room. That reunion, it’ll be etched into his psyche forever because your mom, she’s started sundowning, she doesn’t even know who you are.
He’s waiting for you on the stoop of the townhouse apartment you rent when you get home from settling your mom back at her accommodation. There’s a fatigue in you that he recognises from his own final years with his father, the strain of being absolutely nothing to the person you love most in the world.
“If you’re going to end things with me, can you just rip off the band aid?” You ask him, in a voice completely devoid of emotion. “I’ve had just about as much as I can take tonight.”
“I don’t want to end things.” He tells you as he raises to his feet, his hands coming to rest upon your hips, anchoring you. “I just wanted to ask how you’re doing.”
You tilt your head away from him because up until now you’ve always been his sunshine girl, the one he relies on. It isn’t until now he sees how much weight you carry, how you’ve been hiding it underneath that shiny, fun girl persona.
“The only time I feel like I can breathe is when I’m with you.” You find yourself telling him. “The stuff with my mom, with Hawaii, it doesn’t matter because you see me, you really fucking see me…”
You break then, you shatter underneath his hands and Robby, he does the only thing he can do, he wraps you up in his arms and he holds on for dear life.  
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nerdygirlramblings · 2 months ago
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What is the 141 up to while Ren's sedated?
previous
The team files into the conference room, settling into their usual seats. When Price closes the door, he turns to find three questioning looks.
"We're not all 'ere, Cap," Ghost says, flicking pointedly at the seat you occupied last time.
"I know," Price says calmly. "This is a conversation we needed ta 'ave without Ren," he tells them.
"Without... Captain, is something wrong? Where's Ren?" Gaz asks.
"She's in medical," he says. Soap is confused, spluttering, and Ghost is half out of his seat when Price infuses his voice with his Captain's authority and says, "Stop!" The scent of aggression simmers as Ghost sits back down.
"I need ya all," his gaze cuts to Ghost, "ta listen and not react," he stares at Soap. "If we want even the slightest chance of havin' Ren as our omega, ya will listen." He looks around the room, taking in Gaz's serious look, Soap's apprehension, and Ghost's skepticism. The heavy scents of worry and barely restrained anger are cloying in the small space. "Ren came ta me last night. Her heat was starting, an' she wan'ed clearance ta pass it under medical sedation, what she felt was the safest way available ta her."
Soap cuts in, "We're safer than whatever's gonna happen tae her at medical!"
Price raises an eyebrow but doesn't respond to the outburst. "She's not pack, yet, Soap," Price says.
Ghost slams a hand down on the table, "An' whose fault is that?!"
Price turns to glare at his second. "Enough." The command is pure Alpha, and even Ghost can't just ignore his pack alpha's command. He is sat sullenly, arms crossed. "I had no right to push her to take her heat with us. She wasn't asking for it, and she felt medical sedation was better than a heat service."
He let his words settle on the others. From the spike of rotting fish, Soap's distress is clear. Price looks at Ghost and tells the lieutenant, "I told 'er we needed ta address bein' pack when 'er heat's done."
Ghost visibly settles, and Gaz says, "So ta be clear, we're gonna ask Ren ta be our omega? Officially?"
"Yes," Price replies unequivocally. "And we're here," he says, hand circling the table, "to draw up a courtin' contract that shows 'er we're serious about it." The scents in the room level out, bitterness and rot receding, replaced with the scent of fresh linen, salt, and greenery. Once it's clear everyone is on the same page, Price presses the intercom, and Adam's voice comes through.
"Yes, sir?"
"Adam, be a lad an' get Ren's parents on the line, yeah?"
There's no mistaking the teasing lilt to Adam's voice when he responds, "Shall I tell them why you're calling, sir?"
Price doesn't rise to the bait. "Patch 'em through when you got 'em." Then he cuts the intercom, turning back to the others. "I think we all agree pushin' Ren at all is gonna send her running, so we need ta be strategic. She told me, before the London job, she uses blockers because it's tiring ta constantly control her scent without 'em, so we can't make 'er stop-" Soap cuts in with a whiney "Och, Cap! But-", before Price raises his voice over the sergeant's complaints, "-no matter how much we want that fresh berry scent."
He takes pity on Soap and says, "We can ask she use patches and a non-scent deodorant instead."
Soap huffs out a barely audible, "Guess tha's better than nothing'."
"Like us," Price motions between himself and Ghost, "Ren's not on suppressants, so ensuring she's got space for a nest in the Lake house is a must." The scents in the room sharpen as each man thinks about your next heat. The one where, if this courting works, they'll help you through instead of the travesty of a medically sedated one.
Price takes a moment to compose himself, but before he can continue, the intercom on the table crackles with Adam's voice. "Ren's parents are on line three, Captain. Do you need me to come connect the call?"
"I'll handle it, Adam. Thanks," Price says, disconnecting the intercom. His gaze flicks to Gaz and he waves his hand at the phone. "Can ya get her parents?"
Gaz moves to the phone and presses a few buttons, then the tense voice of your mama warbles through. "Hello?"
"Hullo, ma'am. I'm Captain Price-"
A sharp inhale at his name, and then Mama's voice cuts him off. "You're calling from base, but the other gentleman didn't say why. What's happened to my girl, Captain?" Gone is the warble, replaced by fear and steel.
"Ma'am, she's fine," Price quickly assures. "She's safe and healthy."
There's a slow breath on the other side. "Okay, Captain. If that's the case, if she's safe, and she's not calling me, this is about her being your omega, isn't it?"
Ghost chuckles, mutters, "Can see where she gets it."
Another voice, Mum's, comes over the line. "Gets what?" she asks sharply.
Price clears his throat. "Pardon us, ma'am and ma'am. It seems I made a right mess of things. My name is John Price, Captain of the 141 and the pack alpha. I'm here with Lieutenant Simon Riley, and Sergeants Kyle Garrick and John MacTavish." Each man says hello as he's introduced, helping your parents discern one voice from the next. "We're Ren's team. An' yer right, we wanna be 'er pack, too, if she'll have us."
"Well, if you're calling to ask for our permission to court her-" Mama starts, before she's cut off by Ghost's chuckle.
Price smirks as he says, "Ma'am, we all know yer daughter doesn't wait fer permission ta do things. And if she thought we'd asked ya fer it first, that'd be the end 'fore we even began."
Your dad's voice joins the mix as he says, "Sounds like ya have the measure of our girl, Captain. And you must know we've got a full house here, so why don't you get to why you called."
Though your parents couldn't see it, Price stood straighter. "Yes, sir. I, we, were callin' because we don't want things goin' pear shaped. We were workin' on a courtin' contract-"
"A courting contract," Mum says, half shocked, half amused. "That's too old fashioned, Captain."
"I can see where it seems that way, ma'am, but with military packs, it's a necessity ta protect all parties," Gaz chimes in pragmatically.
"Not-" Soap cuts in quickly, "-tha' we need need protectin' from Ren or this decision, mum. We're sure this is wha' we want. She is wha' we want."
"My men have the way of it. The military requires a courtin' contract fer any military or military-affiliated pack. It's ta make sure the military bit keeps runnin' smoothly no matter wha'," Price says.
Mama's voice comes through again, "So what is it you need from us, if you're not asking for permission?"
Price takes a deep breath, and when he speaks, his voice is guarded, almost weary, as if one wrong word will end their attempt before it's even started. "We know a lot, and have figured more, about what she needs from a pack, not as an omega, but as she is. But it's clear she 'as reservations about being pack at all. Do ya have any advice or suggestion about wha' we could say?"
Your dad's sigh comes through the line, weighed down and weary, sad. "Captain, I wish we had better news. She's fought her secondary designation for so long, always clawing for every little achievement, every little advancement, every scrap of recognition. Been that way since she was little, even before she presented. Being clever and sporty didn't serve her well as a girl, and when it was clear she was an omega, it raised the bars even higher. No one in her adult life, until you, ever really saw her first." They can hear the smile in his voice when he tells them, "She was right pleased when you put her name up for the boards." He sighs again, and the men hold their collective breaths. "She's so close, Captain. We could tell when she was home. She wants a pack of her own, even if she hasn't said it. Your best bet is to show her you'll still see her and not just her omega."
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thesecondhandwoman · 5 months ago
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I don’t send requests often so I’m not sure if this is too vague but what do you think of a pit fighter vi x reader where reader is a medic at the pit and vi slowly but surely begins to trust them?
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PIT FIGHTER’S MEDIC
Pit fighter!Vi x f!reader
Synopsis: You were a medic at the station besides the cage fights, constantly taking care of beat up fighters, victorious or not. That’s how you met Vi, the most recently boosting pit fighter.
Request: Anon 🤍
A/N: No where close to proofread (so please, bear with me on this one).
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The underground pit was a second home to bloodstains and bad decisions. You’d stopped keeping track of the fights the moment you clocked into your shift. The medic station was tucked in a dark corner, far enough from the roaring crowd but close enough to the cage that the echoes of flesh meeting steel felt all too real.
Tonight wasn’t different. The air reeked of sweat and spilled beer, and the sound of bets being placed rattled against the screams of the current brawl. A fighter was thrown into the metal bars with a sickening clang, the crowd howling their approval. You didn’t flinch, couldn’t afford to.
Not when she walked in.
The crowd was still chanting Vi’s name when she staggered out of the cage, jacket slung lazily over one shoulder, blood trickling down her temple. Her stride was confident, too confident for someone whose opponent had nearly taken her head off three times in the last round.
“Rough night?” you called, barely glancing up from the bloodied tape you were sorting.
Vi gave you a crooked grin, wiping her face with the back of her hand and only succeeding in smearing the blood. “Nah. Barely broke a sweat.”
“Is that what you call nearly getting your jaw dislocated?”
She chuckled, plopping onto the chair across from your table. It creaked under her weight. “Guess I’ll take your expert opinion on that, Doc.”
You rolled your eyes, grabbing a cloth and your disinfectant. “Hold still.”
Vi didn’t flinch as you reached for her face, your fingers tilting her chin to inspect the cut on her temple. She was already drenched in sweat and what looked like oil grease, a combination you were growing weirdly used to.
“Seriously, you should take it easy on the booze before fights,” you muttered, cleaning the wound. “You’re slowing down.”
“Didn’t slow down enough to lose, though,” Vi quipped, but there was a slur in her voice, the alcohol thick in her breath.
“Winning doesn’t count if you get yourself killed doing it,” you said, glaring at her. “Next time, I’m not patching you up.”
“Oh, come on, you’d miss me.” Vi’s grin widened, but the teasing didn’t quite reach her eyes.
You didn’t answer. Instead, you focused on stitching up the cut, ignoring the weight of her gaze on you. She was always like this: half-drunk, bruised, and too damn cocky for her own good. But there was something underneath it, something she wasn’t saying.
Something that made your chest ache every time she walked into your station looking like the world had chewed her up and spit her out.
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Vi became a regular at your station, whether she needed serious medical attention or not. Most nights, she was the same—reckless, smirking, and smelling faintly of engine oil and whiskey. She talked just enough to keep the silence from settling, but not enough to give away anything real.
You didn’t push her. Not at first.
But over time, she let things slip. Little pieces of her past. A sister she used to look out for. The nights she spent in the Lanes. The bitterness in her voice when she mentioned someone named Caitlyn.
You listened, never prying too hard, and patched her up like always. Some nights, you caught her staring at the pit from the corner of your eye, her knuckles bloody. Other nights, she didn’t talk at all.
And then there were the bad nights.
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The bad nights were always worse.
It was one of those nights when Vi stumbled into your station, barely standing. Her opponent had been twice her size and almost as fast—something you’d only caught glimpses of between the crowd surging forward to watch the fight. Vi had won, but the price had been steep.
Blood poured from a cut above her eye, dripping onto her bruised, dislocated shoulder. Her bandage-made gloves were gone, the straps ripped and dragging from her hands.
“Vi,” you said, rushing to her side as she collapsed into the chair. “What the hell happened?”
“Guess I overdid it,” she said, her voice rasping. She winced as you helped her out of her jacket, revealing a nasty gash along her ribs. “You know me.”
“Yeah, reckless as hell,” you muttered, grabbing your kit. “Stay still.”
Vi hissed when you pressed a cloth to her side, but didn’t pull away. “You’re good at this,” she said after a moment. “You always been a medic?”
“Pretty much,” you said, focusing on stopping the bleeding. “Started out patching up people in the Undercity. It’s a skill that keeps you alive down here.”
Vi didn’t answer right away. When you glanced up, you saw her watching you, something unreadable in her expression.
“Why do you care?” she asked suddenly.
The question caught you off guard. “What?”
“About me,” she said, her voice softer now. “Why do you care?”
You hesitated, your hands stilling for a moment. “Because someone has to,” you said finally. “And because you deserve better than this.”
She snorted, the sound bitter. “Better? This is all I’m good at.”
“That’s not true.” You met her gaze, your voice firm. “You’re more than this, Vi. You just don’t see it yet.”
Vi’s jaw tightened, her shoulders tensing under your touch. But she didn’t argue. Instead, she looked away, her fingers curling into fists.
“Maybe,” she muttered, almost too quiet to hear.
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That night marked a shift. Vi started coming to the station earlier, before the fights, something she didn’t do regularly, her sharp tongue softer than usual. She drank less, most of the time, and even started to let you help her fix the binding straps around her chest (since they were miserably dressed in your medical eyes) while talking about something better than oil grease for cage fighting marks.
“Not bad, Doc,” she said one night, watching as you tightened a strap of bandages from behind her. “I didn’t know they could be so much more snug.”
“Yea, now you will be able to fight without looking like this is gonna come right off,” you said with a small smile.
Vi grinned, the first real one you’d seen in weeks, and shook her head. “Alright, alright. Jokes aside, you’re not half bad, you know.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” you teased. But inside, you felt something shift, something warm and unfamiliar.
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The fights didn’t stop, but Vi’s recklessness eased. She still fought like she had something to prove, but there was a fire in her now, a purpose that hadn’t been there before ever since Caitlyn distinguished it with heartache.
And slowly, she began to trust you with a lot more than little pieces of her past and present.
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It wasn’t until one quiet night, long after one of her fights had ended and the crowd had thinned, that Vi finally opened up fully in the medical station.
You were cleaning her up of oil grease since she had missed a few spots, knowing it would be bad for her skin if she slept in it (again), when she had suddenly looked a lot more vulnerable and small.
“I used to fight for something real, something good,” she said, her voice low. She glanced over at you, soft blue eyes meeting yours before looking back down. “Before all of this mess, hell, way before.”
“What happened?” you asked gently.
She hesitated, her fingers tracing the edge her jacket’s hem. “It fell apart. I lost it all. Lost her.”
You didn’t need to ask who “her” was. The weight in her voice said it all.
“I’m sorry,” you said softly.
Vi looked up, her eyes meeting yours. “Yeah. Me too.”
“But, despite the past still being heavy, how are you right now? In the present?” you asked, breaking the silence. “Are you okay? Doing a bit better than when you first got here at least?”
Vi glanced up, her bruised knuckles resting on the edge of the table. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I just— I also wanted to say thanks.”
You raised an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For putting up with me,” she said, her lips curving into a small, almost shy smile. “I’m not exactly easy, you know? Especially now.”
“You think I don’t know that by now?” you teased softly to lighten the mood, leaning forward slightly before being more honest. “But I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you were worth it.”
Vi’s expression shifted, something warm flickering in her eyes. “You really believe that, don’t you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I do,” you said firmly. “You’re more than the fights, Vi. You’re more than the past that’s weighing you down. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it too.”
For a moment, she just looked at you, her gaze searching yours like she was trying to find something she’d lost. Then, before you could say anything else, she leaned forward, her hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face.
Her fingers were rough, calloused from years of fighting, but her touch was impossibly gentle. Your breath hitched as she hesitated, her eyes flicking to your lips and then back to your eyes, silently asking for permission.
You didn’t answer with words. Instead, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting hers in a kiss that was soft and tentative, like both of you were afraid to break the fragile moment.
Vi exhaled shakily against your mouth, her hand sliding to the back of your neck as she deepened the kiss just enough to make your heart race. There was no desperation, no urgency—just the quiet, unspoken promise of trust and something new blooming between you.
When you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested together, her breath mingling with yours.
“Was that okay?” she asked, her voice so soft you almost didn’t hear it.
“Yeah,” you said, a small smile tugging at your lips. “More than okay.”
Vi let out a breathless laugh, her usual cockiness softened by the vulnerability in her expression. “Guess I’ll have to come back more often, then.”
“Like you needed an excuse,” you teased, your smile widening.
She smiled and shook her head before crushing her lips against yours again, pushing you further into the room so the night could continue with something more than heavy sorrows but light promises.
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A/N: I don’t really like this one a lot, might redo it, but this is it for now.
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