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4kozy · 26 days ago

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her sinking sun

megan. ( i watch it die )

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pairing | megan x gn!reader

genre + wc | angst + 4.2k

tw 🔸 | no happy endings, toxic relationship, language, implications of attempted SA ( not by reader or megan ), exes to STILL exes, implied alcoholism…

an | instead of sleeping i chose to write this…😀 and it was worth it cus megan is REALLY bias wrecking me rn..

syn | there’s no comfort in an ex, that’s universal, but for megan, there’s no comfort in the familiar and unfamiliar all the same. megan stopped going to parties. she stopped going to everything.

you never unblocked her number.

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Megan didn’t know what to handle first.

The most pressing matter at the moment was keeping herself busy enough to ignore the second thing. You.

You, radiant as ever, effortlessly demanded control of the of the function, all eyes on you as you swayed, lights and sounds almost hypnotized by you, like the people around here.

It was full of shit.

Her jaw clenches.

Her grip on the plastic solo cup tightens.

Megan swirls her drink around and rolls her eyes.

She was never the sharing type.

And it wasn’t as if this was a first-time occurrence, no.

Megan went to every single frat house, every club, every single school event, just hoping you’d be there and getting insanely jealous when she saw you with anyone else.

She knew she was supposed to be letting go; she knew that she was supposed to be moving on and finally getting somewhere, but the heartbreak was all-consuming.

It was the sort of heartbreak that haunted her every action–the sort of heartbreak that showed itself when she was brushing her teeth, and your toothbrush wasn’t there anymore.

The sort of heartbreak that showed itself when she went through her half-empty closet, or when her bed was still messy after an hour of being awake because you weren’t there to make it up again.

The sort of heartbreak that showed itself when breakfast wasn’t made in the morning, when for weeks afterward she would bring home two orders of takeout on instinct, when she would hold her pillow and pretend that she’d lose you if she didn’t.

Even when you were already gone.

It was the heartbreak that sought her out, making her legs move before her brain even caught up to her body. Making her drink until she can’t think anymore.

And here she was; foggy-brained, sad, and so incredibly angry she didn’t know what to do.

How could you be so happy when she’s so miserable? How could you be prospering alone when you were always better with her?

Megan tips her head back and downs the rest of the second drink–a pretty nasty concoction from hell–not that that seemed to register at the moment.

All she could think about was the fact that it was like you were made for this. Like you were made to be unleashed–no attachment, and no responsibility to anyone. It was almost as if she were a failed experiment, a test to settle down, and one you’d given up when it wasn’t what you wanted anymore.

She finds herself moving to the drinks again.

Megan’s vision is blurred at the edges by the time she’s done with her fourth of the night, figuring that the rest of the evening would consist of bad decisions dunked in unmarked fluids, and desire coated in deep-seated rage.

She knows it’s a bad idea to get drunk at a party with your ex.

She just doesn’t care.

It’s not enough to brood in silence, sitting on the sidelines amongst a similar crowd, no.

Megan secretly hopes for the liquid courage to take hold of her, get her petty and loud, with too much confidence and too few inhibitions.

Megan secretly hopes to scream at you until her throat bleeds and her lips crack. Hopes to god that you cry, maybe even try to fight her. Maybe, you’d run out, sobbing.

Her body trembles beneath the weight of her fantasies.

It’s immature of her, dark, and completely out of character. She realizes that.

It isn’t normal; wanting to hurt you so bad that you hurt her. Wanting so desperately to elicit a reaction of any kind from that nonchalant façade of yours.

It isn’t normal.

It’s Megan.

It’s Megan: raw, real, and unashamed. It’s Megan at her worst, so pathetic that she came out to a place she’d know you’d be at, just to imagine throwing off that demeanor of yours.

Somewhere, anyway, at the bottom of the punch, there’s a truth. One that she wasn’t willing to admit without a tad in her system.

A truth that may have sobered her up immediately, if it weren’t for her strange determination to ignore it.

She was still in love with you, and God forbid she ever admit it.

The liquor still hadn’t kicked in by the time she hit the dance floor.

Megan’s not dumb. She knows she’s pretty, and even better, she knows how to use it, choosing a random man to grind on, after seeing his okay with it. He’s handsome enough with the bright lights off and the drink in her system. He’s handsome to take her mind off things.

Enough to make you jealous, perhaps.

Her eyes meet yours across the sea of warm bodies. Still, you look as gorgeous as ever, and even worse, there’s no visible reaction from you.

Megan’s soul fractures–body thrumming with panic, with want, and with everything left unsaid between you two. Etched into her being was you; in all things she did, aware or not.

All the pieces of your past, all the pieces of you that she keeps locked away, in the darkest depths of her body, all the parts of herself she’s hidden away–they all float to the surface, like a corpse.

Every secret that was kept, every misunderstanding like a shock to the heart, every touch like an apology, and every lie like a band-aid on a bullet wound.

Nothing could fix it. Not what both of you had broken. The foundation of your relationship was damaged before it had even begun, the question always being “how does it end for them,” rather than “will it?”

All the delusions shatter. Her breath hitches in her throat. Face stuck in a nervous expression. She couldn’t even bring herself to narrow her eyes at you.

Megan is always so pathetic when it comes to you. How could she even imagine putting you through any of that?

You two only lock eyes for a moment. You never stare for too long–just enough to hook anyone unlucky enough to catch a glimpse.

She’s been hooked for years.

Ever since that fateful day in her Junior year of high school.

She can remember vividly–it was a Friday afternoon. 4th period, dance.

To your credit, you weren’t bad for a beginner, being good enough to grab the attention of your shared instructor and her.

You had only taken the class for an art credit, falling in love with it over time. To Megan, however, it was her whole life. Ballet and tap at 3, dance competitions at 6 onwards, and now her junior duet for the dance recital.

It was after her run-through with Daniela that you spoke to her for the first time. “Woah… That’s amazing! When’d you start dancing?”

Megan, covered in a sheen of sweat and exhaustion, gawked at you.

She didn’t respond for a minute, gulping down the rest of her water in 4 swallows.

“Since I was 3, you?”

You smile thoughtfully. “Just started. Although I couldn’t dance like that in a lifetime.”

Megan chuckles, panting a tad. '‘s just practice. I’ve been at it for a while.”

She takes a seat on the floor to rest, and you follow, choosing to listen to her ramble on about her dance career. You know it’s not to make you feel bad, judging by the very genuine excitement on her face.

It’s a chance for her to catch her breath, and she does it with you.

Somebody that she is quite unfamiliar with, yet getting comfortable with anyway.

Megan’s never done it before.

Sure, she’ll make small talk, habitually continuing a conversation with anyone she meets, but it’s not like they like to talk with her that long.

She’s learned that she has quite the habit of firing off at the mouth, every thought spilling out as soon as it comes to fruition. It makes people want to exit the conversation as soon as possible.

But not you.

You sit there and listen attentively, making eye contact. She can see the care, or at least a lite version of it, operating within you, with every word she speaks and every breath she takes.

“I think you’re really good,” you say after she finishes. “I think you’re incredible.”

It’s soft, a compliment so delicate that she’s afraid to respond–so she doesn’t, choosing instead to let it hang in the air, acknowledging it with a hum and a firm nod.

“Megannnn… One more time, please? We just need this move synced up!” Daniela said, albeit a bit too loudly.

“That’s me,” she smiles, grunting lightly as she stands up. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” you say.

She doesn’t realize that you spent the final moments of class watching her.

Weeks later, you’re still finding ways to keep watching her and talk to her.

If you saw her around school, you’d walk her to class. If you saw her at lunch, you’d eat with her. If you saw her pull into the school parking lot, you’d park right next to her ( much to the dismay of its original owner ).

If you saw her struggling on assignments, you’d spend hours of your day guiding her through them: no infantilization, no complaints, and no throwing it back in her face either.

You wouldn’t label it a crush, no, more like an intense, barely-concealed interest.

And who could blame you? The way she moves is mesmerizing–movements practiced and intentional. Each one is just as 100% as the last. Not one feeling out of place.

Her disheveled appearance is proof that she takes it seriously.

Megan’s hair is tousled with effort, despite making things look effortless. Her cheeks are pink and full with gasps of air after her third run of her duet today.

It’s a week till the recital, and you guys have moved to the stage.

She’s bathed in a sharp blue light, the kind that makes her eyes pierce, and every line of her body jumps out.

You rush up to her with vigor, grin so wide, it’s scary. “Megan, that was perfect–“

She doesn’t return your enthusiasm. “I fucked up, pretty bad,” she puts her head in her hands with disappointment. “If it weren’t for Dani sliding out of the way, I would’ve hurt her.”

You wrap your arms around her, ignoring the wetness on her skin, mixing with yours. She’s not crying, but you can feel her heaving with fatigue, burying her head into your shoulder.

You’re glad she’s taking advantage of your silent offer.

“Let’s eat?”

You and Megan stay after school, sitting in the auditorium all by yourselves, feasting on your lunch, watching Fantastic Mr. Fox without a care in the world.

She looks at you with the corner of her eye as her pinky locks with yours. You pretend not to notice.

You make a mental note to pack more.

You also make another mental note: it is a crush. It walks like one. It talks like one. It must be one.

5 days until the recital, and the group showcase was starting to fall apart under the pressure.

It was a simple mistake at first, a freshman missing her spot by an inch. Then it was a different one moving in the opposite direction. Then, it was three girls missing the final pose.

Safe to say, everyone was getting a bit annoyed and overwhelmed–none more so than Megan.

Megan, who’d, without fail, find a reason to doubt her ability.

She was a proud girl most of the time, obnoxiously eager and kind, but it’s clear the nerves are taking their toll on her.

You’ve noticed she gets in her head, like something won't allow her to be content with what most would consider stellar.

For Megan, it wasn’t enough to be ‘stellar.’ She had to excel, each performance needing to surpass the last, just for her to accept it. You wouldn’t have known why this fierce determination existed, not at the time.

There was a lot she struggled with. A lot of English and Math tests, bombed. A lot of parent-teacher conferences. A lot of let downs, no matter how hard she tried.

Dance was something she refused to fail.

She chooses to go through the motions again, without Daniela, who had left to go handle something.

Like clockwork, you bounce up to her when she’s done, tired but ready to talk once again. “Hey, you wanna go tak–“

“I’m fucking busy,” she interrupts, stiffly.

You try not to let the shock show.

There’s an awkward silence in the air. Tension you choose not to call into question by retorting.

You leave her portion of food next to her bottle.

2 days until.

Megan’s been going at it for hours on end.

You sit in a chair in the audience, watching her play back the music over and over again. There’s frustration carving into her features as you watch her stumble over a slow part of the choreo for nearly 15 minutes. You haven’t talked in a while.

“Fuck! I–“ her shoulders slump.

You’d give yourself a good 6 seconds of waiting before you find yourself right next to her.

You two are back-to-back, choosing to give her just enough space so that she’s not also overstimulated with your presence as well.

It’s just you and Megan, in a deep silence, filled with all the pain, sweat, and tears she’s poured into her craft. In a silence that talks, and tugs on you, like it has a vessel of its own.

She breaks it. “I’m sorry for snapping at you the other day. It’s just…” she trails off, her voice pulled taut and thin.

She thinks about all the times you’ve gone out of your way to show her that she meant something to you.

There’s a quiver in her body before the words shoot out of her like vomit. “I’m just being a jackass. Shouldn’t have jumped at you like that. You were only trying to help, and I–I don’t want to push you away, I know we’ve only known each other for a while but, I really do care, and I don’t want you to think you’re disposable, ‘cause you make me feel better all the time and–I… I was just frustrated, that's all. I get if you’re upset with me–I was an asshole and–“

“I’m not mad at you, silly,” you sigh, leaning your head back onto her shoulder. “I wish you had let me bear your burden with you. I care too,” you whisper, threading your fingers together.

She sniffles.

“Promise, you can rely on me next time. You don’t have to be by yourself,” you say, after a moment has passed.

“Okay.”

That’s how you are for a long time. Quiet and content with each other’s presence. At least until her stomach grumbles.

You take her out to eat with you, choosing to stop at the Zaxby’s nearby campus and watch Drag Race.

Day of the recital.

Megan’s whole attitude changed, now completely and utterly enraptured with the idea of nailing the entire showcase.

The crowd was roaring, the whole group dance went amazingly. You were so excited, you could barely think. Until Megan took you into a tight embrace, congratulating you on how well you did.

She ignored the butterflies in her stomach. Barely regulated the urge to say “I couldn’t take my eyes off you the whole time, even while I was up there with you.” Forced herself to be okay with a squeeze instead of a more…passionate display of affection.

She settled with a “You did great out there.”

You giggled, joy overtaking your features, as you pulled back for a bit to look at her. She’s ethereal, blue lighting coating her face once again.

She always is.

“And you’re gonna do even better,” you punctuate your sentence with a gentle press of your lips to the corner of her mouth. “Good luck–not that you’ll need it.”

Megan beams, eyes twinkling with pure pleasure. “I’ll take any kind of luck from you, Yn,” she grazes her fingers across your back, eyes fluttering between yours and the same lips you’d just ‘sort-of-actually-probably’ kissed her with.

If it weren’t for Dani whisper-yelling for her, by the way she had licked her lips and gradually closed the distance, you were sure she was going to kiss you.

You’re not sure you would’ve stopped her either.

“That’s me,” she mumbles, eyes closing with a flicker of annoyance. Megan wore her emotions like she wore her insecurities, exposed and without shame. You feel yourself swoon internally. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, you will.”

You chose to sit with the spectators to watch her junior duet. Although the way you kept following Megan was more of a solo.

It doesn’t take much longer for you guys to start dating.

3 years.

That’s how long you wasted Megan’s time.

That's how long you pretended to reciprocate her love. How long you humored her yearning.

The alcohol completely takes control now, her body now a puppet to her subconscious.

Megan doesn’t even realize she’s on her way towards you, in the corner of the living room, laughing with your friends, and not her.

It makes her blood boil.

She’s on the edge. On the precipice of losing her sanity. The world starts to fall away with each step, bringing her closer to you.

She’s got tunnel vision: all she can see is you.

Still beaming as if you didn’t see her coming that way. As if you didn’t see her with someone else earlier.

“We need to talk,” Megan slurs, crossing her arms tightly.

You stare at her quizzically. “Megan,” you sigh, rubbing your temple. “You’re drunk.”

“You think I give a fuck?” she hisses, nails starting to dig into her skin. “I wanna talk to you.”

Your friends give you a look, and then her, and then you again. You take the silent okay to drag her elsewhere.

You’re standing in a dark hallway when she starts rambling.

“I just don’t get why you don’t care,” she scoffs, pointing at you. “All that time, and you just don’t care? I don’t get it.”

You roll your eyes. “That’s why you couldn’t stop glaring at me all night? That’s why you so desperately needed to speak to me?”

Megan swallows thickly. Her heart is pounding. “Don’t do that. You know it’s more than that. You know me.”

“No, I don’t. Haven’t known you for a while actually–it’s pretty new to me, the whole ‘follow-me-around’ shit. Look–Megs, you’re drunk as hell,” you groan, turning to leave. “I’ll see you around, okay? Let’s talk when you’re sober and ready for it.”

She snatches your wrist, pulls you back with a pathetic whine in her voice. “No, don’t–I did it all for you… Don’t you understand?”

You have half a mind to leave this where this is–unfinished, like everything else. But a stronger part of you, the part that can feel her yearning, the part that can tell the feelings left to linger are bubbling up, stays.

“I don’t want you to leave, ‘M sorry,” she hiccups. “I want you to listen to me again.”

“You just left me. You ghosted. You don’t get to leave me without giving me a reason this time, please.” Megan’s pleading, big, puppy eyes reel you in.

You’re at a loss for words.

You don’t know what to say.

So you don’t say anything.

But she does.

“3 years of my life with you? And you’ve got nothing to fucking say?” she starts crying. “I sacrificed so much for you–I still do, I–I think about you all the damn time, and you have nothing to say to me?”

You sit there ashamed and quiet.

“I’m still so obessed with you, and it hurts me so bad. You hurt me so bad. Why would you even– knowing I… I don’t understand?! And you won’t explain shit–won’t even look me in the eyes,” she sobs, with every muscle in her body, gut wrenching up, like her face, with nothing but pain covering her features.

You don’t know what to do.

“I didn’t wanna… I didn’t want this–I wanted it to be painless–for you,” you tear up. “I’m sorry I got you caught up in it.”

Megan can feel her throat closing up. She can feel every hair on her body raise with misery, weariness, fury: every single emotion she’s felt since it happened.

“You’re not sorry. You don’t even care! You’re a coward. All you ever do is run away,” she yells, tossing your hand to the side as she storms away.

“Megs, stop I–“

She whips around, with bloodshot eyes and trembling. ‘What?’ is the unspoken word this time.

You don’t have the guts to say anything.

When you get back to your people, the party has only kicked up in gear, music blaring like warning sirens you dismissed, and bodies packed together with a loud uneasiness.

You want to say it’s easy to forget about it. To feign blissful ignorance while you get lost in the mob of people.

They rock back and forth, slamming into you like harsh tidal waves.

You try to ignore that, too.

All you ever do is run away.

The thought isn’t cast out to sea.

It replays in your head, even when you’re attempting to brush it off. That strong part of you, the regretful, buried part, knows she’s right.

That part knows you’ve been running for a while.

Things in your relationship were amazing–trying to be this nurturing person that you knew Megan deserved. You knew deep down it wasn’t you, but it was someone you wanted to be.

They say, “fake it till you make it.” You made it nowhere. And it’s not like you didn’t love her–far from it, actually. Love wasn’t the proper descriptor; only something stronger would do. Worship? Too crazy–that wasn’t accurate. Devoted? That was the word.

You were devoted.

Committed to everyday being all about how you could change for Megan.

You were selfish by nature. None of the things you were doing, let alone saying, made sense to you. It didn’t make sense to anybody but her.

It pissed you off to no end.

All you ever do is run away.

All couples argue.

Most make up.

Megan had told you that you were acting off, and you lashed out. For once, words flung at her, piercing her with every insult and complaint.

By the time you were finished, she was standing there in tears, head down in that same way she always did when she was hurt.

She went to your shared room, expecting you to follow her quietly and slip into bed with no words like you usually did.

When you didn’t, she tried to convince herself that you’d be on the couch.

When she heard the door slam, she didn’t bother chasing, already quite aware of what you’d done.

All you ever do is run away.

Texts and missed calls flooded your phone, all from Megan–the girl you’d abandoned just last night.

You stare at the notifications with an unreadable expression.

By the time you’d read through everything, your mind was set.

It would be easier for both of you this way.

Her contact is blocked and deleted the next morning. ( But you still remember her number by heart. )

All you ever do is run away.

You know you’re a coward–you ran away here, too. You couldn’t take accountability for anything you did, even when it was tearing her apart. Even when it was sitting right in front of you.

There were no more chances, no more opportunities to try to fit the pieces back together. You and Megan were over.

“No… I–” A loud, drunk, raspy voice breaks through the rave music.

That voice would never not stand out to you. Always distinguishable, always recognizable, always–Megan, slumped over on the couch with the guy from earlier all over her.

He’s touching her, dangerously close to places he shouldn’t be, right in front of everyone.

This time it doesn’t take 6 seconds to be by her side, though. You’re there instantly, sailing across the room to her aid.

You shove him backwards, hard. But you don’t think to even make sure he stays down, only focusing on her. Still, she’s beautiful, even after all the drama tonight.

The guy grabs you, Lucas, as you later learn his name to be, invading your personal space too. “Fuck’s wrong with you?”

You don’t answer, still murmuring under your breath. You’re pissed, jaw clenched and fist tense with poorly-disguised rage.

“Bitch, I was–“

Your fist flies into his nose.

There’s a crack.

Then there’s a silence.

No more music, no more… anything.

“Don’t you ever, ever, touch her again,” you voice cold and bitter.

You lift Megan up and finally leave the party, for the first time in a long time, being honest with yourself. You wanted, needed, to protect her. You were always that person. The one you thought you were pretending to be for Megan. All the time, every single day.

All this life-of-the-party shit was a lie. You knew Megan was watching. You wanted Megan to see who you thought you were. Somebody that she’d already seen past.

There was no running away from it.

Just depressing how long it took you to realize.

i know you of all people would hate to hear from me but please come pick megan up.

she’s super drunk and i’m worried about her dani.

we’re here ( xxxxx )

Doesn’t take long for Daniela to show up, tire marks trailing behind her red mustang.

“Put her in the backseat, please.” Daniela sighs, partial relief and exasperation.

You comply, lightly lowering Megan before she grabs you, whispering into your ear. “I never stopped.”

'Loving you' is the phrase that goes unsaid.

You want to ask why she didn’t go after you that night. Want to ask why she still cares.

You don’t.

She gazes into you. You feel compelled to return it. “Neither did I,” you confess weakly.

By the time you closed the door, they were speeding off.

Megan stopped going to parties. She stopped going to everything.

You never unblocked her number.

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#katseye x reader #wlw #megan skiendiel x reader #katseye ⭐️#megan skiendiel imagines #megan skiendiel #katseye imagines #bias wrecker megan strikes again…#MEGAN STOP!#ko’s works

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ghostgirl101 · 9 months ago

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Being In A Relationship With Feyd-Rautha Would Be Like This...

A/N: Yes yesss, I'm back from the deepest depths of the dead, finals kicked my ass earlier but now its almost october and I'll burn any exam paper I see from this moment onwards 😀 don't even question why I used this gif, it pretty much summarises the whole headcanon lmao🖤so enjoy it and lmk if you want to be added to the taglist thing at the end. Keep in mind that requests are not open currently, as I'm catching up with ones already in my inbox for Dune and other dark fandoms.

Warnings: Kind of dark themes, mid violence.. it's Feyd Rautha, idk what to tell you 😐

Next Week's Fanfic: Headcanons for a love triangle between you, Feyd-Rautha and Paul Atreides 😎😎

☠︎︎• You got yourself into some weird territory with this one 😵‍💫

☠︎︎• If you're expecting any semblance of stability and pure romance, then I'd turn and run for the Dunes to find Paul instead, because this Harkonnen doesn't have an ounce of level sanity in him, and the amount of spiking tension you'll have to cope with on a daily basis is enough to give anyone a literal heart attack 💀💀

☠︎︎• My guesses are that you were introduced to Feyd-Rautha as either a pretty young Bene Gesserit girl chosen to weave her way into his life to continue the bloodline, or he liked the look of you when he was off-world in one instance to look over Spice production with his uncle, and took you back as a trophy because he liked the look of you. So lucky you. 🙃

☠︎︎• This boy is an absolute sadist and an unpredictable unhinged mess, so there's a lot to get used to, and even when you do get used to things, it could all flip and spin just as quickly. It would take a hell of a time to truly understand Feyd-Rautha enough to predict him one hundred per cent and longer to have his trust that you won't run off or try betraying him.

☠︎︎• There's definitely a kind of dangerous allure to him that he uses to his advantage, a smug grin on his face when he enters the arenas, most likely to make kills in your name. It wouldn't be a massive surprise if you became some figure in Giedi Prime to sacrifice the dead to, like some kind of goddess of the kill (ik that sounds dramatic as hell, but i see it happening .-.)

☠︎︎• Feyd-Rautha is absolutely not used to the concept of looking out for anyone other than himself, or feeling anything close to respect and love for anyone other than himself. So the relationship he forces between you and him is a shaky and slow-burning bond that works in its own weird ways and quirks, and adapts to him and him only, so there are a lot of adjustments to be made on your end. Because even though Feyd isn't sensitive in the general sense, he's majorly unpredictable, and one wrong word could set him off. Just, tread carefully in the early days.

☠︎︎• If you want affection in any other way than corpses and bruising hickies, it may take a little while, because he has no idea how to pull that kind of gentleness off, and doesn't necessarily want to either. But if it's something that'll get you to submit to his hold over you more, then he'll come round to it, and when there's absolutely no one else in the area, you might get some actual, genuine passion, though there's always a part of it mixed in with some darker conflict in him.

☠︎︎• If you want attention from him, you've got it anyway. Feyd has his own form of attachment, pretty much an obsession, but it's always tangled in with his desire to dominate and possess. It's a suffocating relationship and tipped-scales dynamic, and the only way you can really get him to see your side of things is by wording it in ways that'll make it sound like it was his idea in the first place, and that the reason is because it'll feel better for him.

☠︎︎• Needless to say, if you're a little firmer and have a dark side to you (i'll make a safe bet that you do if you want this guy x_x) this Harkonnen is a thrill seeker to the extreme, someone always looking to feel something new and raw and insatiable, like the sharpest peaks of ecstasy and adrenaline, so will he try out new stuff with you even though it sounds mental and freaky and dangerous? That's a rhetorical question.

☠︎︎• Despite all the bloodshed and his ruthless havoc in the arenas, taking lives and living for the pain of it, believe it or not, Feyd is actually vulnerable in the least suspecting way. He doesn't have an emotional connection with anyone, because he's an unhinged psycho amongst a crowd of pale unhinged psychos who expect nothing less (and.. have you watched the film?? It's confirmed that this dude has mummy issues, so... i'm just saying, look at this hc's front gif 😏)

☠︎︎• If we're talking romance and affection, just think intense. Intense intense intense, because that's the best way to describe it. His hugs are breathtakingly tight and forcefully smothering, and he doesn't kiss, he full-on makes out with you. Public or not doesn't matter, it's just an opportunity to mark you as his in front of an audience, and he'll gladly perform, so suck up your shyness.

☠︎︎• Thinking of pet names, I see Feyd-Rautha calling you either by just your true first name and having everyone else address you just by your general title, or using other typical nicknames he'd use with satisfied smirks and lingering looks. Maybe his dearest darling, because you're higher than the pets he feeds and used before you (apparently they're called harpies??!? idk what the heck lol) I don't see him saying my love or honey unless he's just being a jackass in an argument, because I'm betting my life savings this boy only eats bitter things, and he sure as hell can't define love like you can.

☠︎︎• Feyd comes across as pretty dominant in everything he does, which is right, and even if it's you questioning him, he'll throw a dangerous fit that escalates within a second no one sees, so, again you have to be clever with the way you word things. You physically and mentally cannot be independent with Feyd-Rautha, because he'll break that spirit right out of your soul. Would he physically hurt you? Not badly, no, but just don't push him, because he'll lash out without a second thought in the moment of impulse.

☠︎︎• Again with the independence, another thing that stops you from getting any is how absolutely suffocatingly obsessive he can get, which turns on his possessiveness. You're essentially an extension of himself, something that's peaceful and pure and perfect in so many ways he'll never understand and will always pull your mind apart to try to. So if any other skulking Harkonnen looking to impress you by challenging Feyd himself or devoting a kill in the arena to you, has immediately chosen the slowest, most humiliating death, that you'll probably be tied down to watch -_-

☠︎︎• And if he can tell in even the smallest way that you're drawn to someone aside from him, there's a chance you'll be kept locked up in his chambers for a month or two with no servants, nothing breathing at all permitted to trespass except him, until he's satisfied and you have him wrapped around your finger again. And that means you can get him to do practically anything if it benefits him and draws you closer, like a kill.. to maybe even destroying a whole planet, it's not impossible for him. Once he has his mind set on something, he's a hunter, he's found his target, and he'll go wild until he destroys it.

☠︎︎• He's protective in the way that he will not let you die, or get hurt in any way by any person other than him. If another Harkonnen draws your blood in the tiniest scratch, or hurts your feelings in some way, Feyd will use that as an excuse to wring their necks. You're his to look at and admire and dress up and be close to and make you feel things, so anyone else daring to step up beside you will get knocked down and fed to his darlings. The only time you'll actually see him being doting and surprisingly, cautiously gentle is when he's healing a wound without the audience of any nurses or outside help, an uncharacteristic and uncomfortable silence in the air as he concentrates and gets you back to rights.

☠︎︎• The moments where he'll allow himself to be truly close to you go unspoken, like in the cold hard nights of Geidi Prime, where he pulls you up from your bed and tugs you down the short dark corridor to dump you in his own instead, with nothing else but the need to feel smotheringly close to someone who understands how his mind works. You'll remind him of his mother, and that's all good, so long as you stay by him and with him always, because if you take the opportunity to turn and run, don't let him catch you in the act. There's a 50/50 chance he'll keep you in his rooms for the rest of the relationship, or just straight-up kill you and take in your memories and mind to possess you that way ._.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Next Week's Fanfic: Headcanons for a love triangle between you, Feyd-Rautha and Paul Atreides 😎😎 ⊹˚₊‧───────────────────────────────────────────‧₊˚⊹

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added to this for my future Dune fanfics): @milaeth @ennycutie @nckcn @void21 @leighta @williamtt33 @deathsimp @tatumrileyslover @beebumbo @the-dark-dreamer25 @lilepad @skboo @keicdcat @1950schick @reggiesmoon @velosrantipole @yoonessa @anonymjuni @saturnhas82moons @xlxnq @frickyea-guacamole19 @meowmeeps @chalklate

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DUNE MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆ MAIN MASTERLIST

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sworeidnevercompromise · 5 months ago

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ꨄ︎ pillow talk: a drew starkey smau < part two > series masterlist

divider creds: @adornedwithlight

drewstarkeyfan

liked by dstarkeynews and others drewstarkeyfan i'm dead why did he do that

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youruser LMFAOOO he got a little silly with it

drewstarkeyfan @/youruser HELLO QUEEN .

villainkilla goated with the sauce

m8trondhotel he said let me not foget to bust a move

supercargo men take notes. this is how you should be acting to attract women ・ ♥️ by author

cuntofmontecristo is it bad that i still need him kinda

youruser

liked by drewstarkey and others youruser ahhh poland you've been too good to me! kocham cię 💚💚

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drewstarkeyfan girl you and drew were so on a date at that restaurant i'm dead

drewy/nthinker @/drewstarkeyfan that + the softlaunching in this post ohhh wow i'm losing it reputation1389 @/drewstarkeyfan @/drewy/nthinker EWWW GET HER OUT OF HEREEEE drewstarkeyfan @/reputation1389 ofc ur a faceless account ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey ate your weight in pierogi

youruser @/drewstarkey nom nom nom 😋

officialmikeymadison_ we have to go back soon! i had so much fun with you ・ ♥️ by author

taliaryder give me my jacket back

youruser @/taliaryder jousting tournament to get it back taliaryder @/youruser you're on

drewstarkey

liked by brooke_starkey, youruser and others drewstarkey "I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts" - Brad Allen, Pillow Talk. Germany: your beer rocks. I'll be more careful next time.

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youruser two day bender!

drewstarkey @/youruser never again.

brooke_starkey so good seeing you

drewstarkey @/brooke_starkey same time next year?

austinnorth55 👍 hell yeah brother ・ ♥️ by author

jonathandavissofficial until next time ・ ♥️ by author

drewy/nthinker QUIT SOFTLAUNCHING I KNOW THAT'S Y/N

supercargo sooo...drew let's talk about the last slide. who is that buddy?

youruser slide 9 🤗 ・ ♥️ by author

youruser

liked by pillowtalkmovie and others youruser italy → greece → poland → germany → paris just in the past 2 weeks. england & ireland & spain up next. I LOVE YOU @/pillowtalkmovie!!!!!!!

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drewstarkey just flew into paris....boy my arms are tired

youruser @/drewstarkey hardy har har

madelyncline nails hair hips heels ・ ♥️ by author

bestfrienduser oh so no sneaky little couples pic in this one? ・ ♥️ by author

villainkilla @/bestfrienduser omfg having y/n's bsf on our side ... #myshipissailing

y/narchive hair is looking fabulous as per usual i see

pillowtalkmovie 💚 you more ・ ♥️ by author

a24 queen of our hearts ・ ♥️ by author

y/nweloveyou

liked by drewy/nthinker and others y/nweloveyou via @/youruser's insta story..

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maleaunt well idk why we're acting surprised obviously she's gonna use them with drew

drewy/nthinker kind of need the baguette one

y/nitalia 😀

supercargo wait serve

lavenderhazez she's addicted to anything that says "i ❤️ [place]" so honestly the top one could just be her adding to her collection. bottom one is insane though

y/nssangels everyone in these comments acting like it's insane for her to have condoms ?? she's in her 20s and gorgeous obviously she's having sex there's nothing wrong with that i'm dead

lucaguadagninoarchive

liked by dstarkeynews and others lucaguadagninoarchive @/pillowtalkmovie full cast, posted on their twitter page.

alexanderludwig

liked by youruser, drewstarkey and others alexanderludwig Lots of fun on this press tour, but England has by far been my favorite stop. Drank lots of tea, saw so many Union Jacks, and got to see @/youruser and Luca talk about this amazing movie we're in (@/pillowtalkmovie). Cheers, England. Be back soon.

drewstarkey right what's all this then

alexanderludwig @/drewstarkey 🇬🇧

youruser spot of tea, old chap?

vanessahudgens So happy for you. I miss you! ・ ♥️ by author

hichasestokes I'm expecting souvenirs from every stop ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey @/hichasestokes yo JB

davidjonsson_

liked by alexanderludwig and others davidjonsson_ @/pillowtalkmovie press tour brought me back home. I feel beyond blessed. Had so much fun in London- yes, even when @/alexanderludwig got lost in the Underground. Be back soon.

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alexanderludwig 😅

ayoedebiri can't wait until november 7th for this movie to drop. i'm already giving it a standing ovation (and i haven't even seen it yet!) ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey let's av it ・ ♥️ by author

youruser you know who didn't get lost in the london underground? me 😇😇😇😇 ・ ♥️ by author

pillowtalkmovie our harry ❤️

davidjonsson_ @/pillowtalkmovie & proud to say it

officialmikeymadison_

liked by youruser and others officialmikeymadison_ i'm not usually one for long captions but this press tour is making me a new person. thank you to the sweetest girl ever @/youruser for convincing me to take the role in @/pillowtalkmovie. even though it's a small role, it's totally made my life better. all my love to the cast & crew. 💋

youruser awww sweet sweet girl i'm having so much fun bopping around europe with you. couldn't get through all of these flights & train rides & crazy quick days without you. you're everything and more 💚

officialmikeymadison_ @/youruser love love love you

pillowtalkmovie ❤️

roxannelala QUEENNNN ❤❤

mikeymadisonfansite i'd watch anything ur in even if you had -10 seconds of screen time

drewstarkey 10m

youruser 20m

#drew starkey x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey smau #jojo's works #sweetie pie!user #jojo's au's #work: pillow talk

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fairlyang · 11 months ago

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Dos Locos 🕷️

ཐིཋྀ W/C: 1.8K

ཐིཋྀ PAIRING: ex!miguel x latina!reader

ཐིཋྀ TAGS: 18+ smut. toxic af, broken up, pettiness, cheating x2 (never do this), still so toxic, unprotected sex, being insufferable x2, awful humans, creampie

notes: i wrote the beginning on the last day of may i’m so dead😭 kinda back to writing for mig again 😀 july was for qimir oops. also was thinking of insomniac peter not peter b but it doesn’t matter sjsjsjjs

Broken up. Separated. End of. Not together.

You and Miguel both decided to break up because the relationship had gotten so toxic over the past year and you were both growing tired of it. So you ended it mutually but deep down you weren’t over him and he wasn’t over you either. after all it was a three year relationship.

Unfortunately you were both stubborn and were not going to make the first move to get back together or have one final fling. Especially since you found out he was on some petty shit after a month of being broken up and already seeing someone new.

in another world where his brother Gabriel wasn’t taken, he would’ve been the first choice. but you weren’t a homewrecker. famous last words.

So you did the only logical thing you could think of and hit up one of his work friends because you needed to out-petty him.

You ended liking him the tiniest bit and it may not have been so healthy to do it so soon after the breakup but you couldn’t help it.

Peter was just so sweet and funny, and didn’t nag at you over the littlest of things.

It was a surprise when you started officially going out with him two weeks after that. You saw him nearly everyday and he always spoiled you. Maybe a bit of love bombing but it was just so nice. it was a huge difference from the end of your relationship with Miguel.

You didn’t even care when you found out Miguel was also going out with that girl you saw him with two months ago.

After all, you were broken up, right?

imagine knowing damn well you’re both seeing other people, hell just full on taken but after an accidental sighting of each other at a bar you ended up in a hotel room together.

both of you folding like a book as if you weren’t in supposed happy relationships. neither of you could deny your feelings for each other and the chemistry was still there as if it never left.

so it wasn’t much of a surprise when he was on top of you, pounding into you as if the breakup never happened.

but his dirty words would quickly remind you.

“eres tan terca-“ he groans as you roll your eyes. (you’re so stubborn)

you had been denying that you missed him since you entered the room. he wasn’t wrong but you weren’t going to be the first to openly and verbally admit it.

“lo dices como si tu no eres!” you scoff making him grunt. (you say it as if you aren’t!)

“you’re a pain in my ass.” he mutters making you chuckle.

“yet here you are fucking me.” you spat quickly earning yourself an eye roll.

he was already so tired of your shit. it’s like he’s getting reminded of the reasons you broke up in the first place. it was bad enough you were as or even more stubborn than him but for it to not even stop while he was fucking you?

even after three months had passed?

and the fact that he liked it? he knew there was something wrong with him.

so he did what logically made sense in his head and started giving you deeper thrusts while keeping his same brutally fast pace.

you yelped and squirmed around but he held your legs in place. you bit your lip and gave him a glare.

how was it possible for him to be this annoying and still not put you off?

the grip he still has on you made you sick.

“aw estás enojada?” he teases making you let out a groan. (aww are you mad?)

he was just so aggravating. but lord was the bickering so badly missed.

so you decided to change the topic on the argument. just to have a slight upper hand.

“so are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?” you say breathlessly.

“what the fact that you practically jumped into my arms first chance you got?” he murmurs with a smirk.

you shake your head and roll your eyes, “that is not what happened-“ you start but cut yourself off, “how about the fact that you moved on after a fucking month?”

“what jealous?” he taunts and you groan again.

“you fucking wish.” you say and give him a grin.

“if anything you wished i was jealous.” he says stifling a laugh back.

“oh please.” you scoff and he shrugs before coming down so his face was closer to yours.

your hands were on his biceps, because if there was one thing you missed was having them to grip on to. Peter was rather… scrawny.

and as if reading your mind, he continued. “did you think you’d really make me jealous with Puny Parker?” he laughs, making you groan.

“i wasn’t trying to make anyone jealous.” you quickly defended yourself but he didn’t believe a word.

“yeah okay.” he mumbles and holds back a smile.

he did miss this, so of fucking course he was jealous. he was so fucking pissed when Peter started talking about chasing after a girl he was crushing on only to find out it was you.

he wanted to kill him.

but then he realized he shouldn’t be jealous. you weren’t his anymore and he had Dana. he should be more than happy and not jealous out of his mind but yet you always haunted his thoughts, dreams, hell he nearly moaned out your name when Dana was sucking him off.

he fucking knew Peter was giving you eyes but you always claimed he was just being nice.

nice would be letting you go without any marks on your body. even that was pushing it.

he quickly decided against it and leaned down, letting go of one of your legs to squeeze your left breast before sucking on your nipple. he moaned and pulled slightly back before he flicked his tongue over it,

he then went higher and kissed the top of your breast, everything happening so fast your mind didn’t even process when he started to suck onto your skin.

you gasped and smacked his arm before trying to push him away but he wasn’t budging. now you were getting worried.

sure you knew you’d have to face the music at some point but now with a fucking bright ass mark on your breast you’d have a harder time dragging it out.

“estás loco!!!” you hissed and he finally pulled away, with the biggest shit-eating grin. (you’re crazy!!!)

he decided to finally fall into being honest.

“por ti lo soy. quisite escuchar eso verdad?” he murmured and you feel your face flush. (for you i am. you wanted to hear that right?)

he moaned as you clenched against him, a big indicator that he was right. your body always gave you away and you wouldn’t even be able to lie about it.

“you’ve been dying to hear me admit how badly i missed you, haven’t you?. how i missed your hugs, missed your cooking, your kisses?” he admits and you bit your lip trying to fight the urge to give in.

his hand went up to your cheek, forcibly making you lock eyes with him. as if things couldn’t get worse he just kept going, “wanted to hear how fucking badly i missed your mouth? how fucking much i’ve been needing your pussy?”

his tone hit you and you couldn’t stop the moan from leaving your lips. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he slowed down, focusing on hitting it deeper inside you.

“ahora dime, soy el único loco?” he asks and you look back at him, beyond happy. (now tell me, am i the only crazy one?)

because you knew it and were glad it was mutual, and because you didn’t give in first.

he looked at you expectantly, he knew the truth the whole time but he knew with his admission that yours would follow.

you quickly wrapped you arms around his neck, bringing him closer before whispering, “somos un par de locos.” (we’re a pair of crazy people)

he leaned in and kissed you. you kissed him back immediately and it instantly turned into a heated kiss with his tongue clashing with yours. his hands were all over you and yours moved to scratch at his back because him fucking you again was what you’ve been craving.

he went back to pounding into you like there was no tomorrow and knew he wasn’t going to stop until he came inside you. he was already feeling so close and with the way you squeezed him to perfection like you always did, it wasn’t the tiniest bit surprising.

he pulled away so you could both catch your breath but mostly because he wanted to see your face. he loved looking at you when you came. even more so when you came at the same time.

he leaned his forehead to yours, his eyes all glossy, and his thrusts becoming slopping. you clenched against him and felt your orgasm build up quickly. “missed you so much baby.” you whimpered and he nodded, pieces of his hair falling down.

“you have no idea how much i missed you mami.” he murmured making you moan and hold onto his face as your legs began shaking.

“moaned your name instead of his.” you admitted making him smile.

“nearly did the same.” he chuckled making you laugh.

you were truly so alike. in more ways than you could ever count.

“you’re gonna call him after this and tell him to fuck off.” he muttered and you could only whimper.

“you’re all fucking mine i don’t care.” he purred and grabbed your hand, intertwining it with his.

“toda mía, verdad hermosa?” he murmured and you quickly moan out a yes which was enough to push you both off the edge. (all mine, right beautiful?)

he groaned as he spilled his load inside you, making sure it was as deep as possible before doing slow thrusts to ride out your highs. your legs shook and your cries only drove him more insane.

he kissed your forehead as you brought your legs down and he slowly started to slip out of you. as much as he wants you to keep all his cum, he knew you were about to knock out.

his dick slipped out with a loud plop and his cum oozed out and dripped down to your asshole. he quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, getting a towel before running back to you to clean you up.

you closed your eyes as he made sure every drop came out and he softly cleaned you up before throwing the towel away and getting back into bed.

you quickly got comfortable on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and lifting the blanket over your bodies, so happy to have you back.

#miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #miguel o hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara imagine #atsv miguel #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara x y/n

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puhmpken · 1 year ago

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Author’s Note: This one is a filler since I am still working on “Dairy of the Obsessed” ..this one was spontaneous lmfaoo! Also requests are open feel free to give me story ideas

This has BEEN edited 🥳🎉

Warning ⚠️-> If you’re under the age of 18+ DONT interact with this post, this is your only & final warning! I do not & will not take responsibility for anything further!

You have been warned

Title: A Shape-Shifter’s Dilemma

Alastor x Reader Oneshot

written + edited by @puhmpkins-blog 🎃

W/C: 5.1K 😀 oops maybe too much lol my imagination got the better of me but please enjoy!

You always questioned where Alastor your husband would go. Most of the time you would brush it off and not think of it—Overlord stuff.

But one night while Al and you slept in the same bed he tossed and turned in his sleep you could assume he was having a nightmare

“honey..?” You said in a low ruff voice as you gently placed a hand on Alastor who stops his moving before the word he mutters out was

“charlie..”

...Now that is odd. Why would a overlord like Alastor be saying the princess of hells name in the middle of his sleep?

It made you raise a eyebrow, and questioned him.

The day following did not seem to ease your nerves one bit, he again in rather ..a rush to leave the manor

Standing next to the front doors door you watched as he moved back and forth through the living room looking for whatever he was desiring

“What's rushing for darling? This is rather out of character” You said as your eyes watched him move throughout the room

“Oh nothing to concern yourself with dearie!~ Just overlord business”

You hummed back at his bland cryptic response not wanting to pick it apart–you just decided not to question it and save yourself the energy

“Right. Just don’t go get yourself in trouble” You said smiling at Alastor standing infront of you, slightly towering over you as you fixed and cleaned off any dirt or lent that got caught on his suit as he was in your words rushing around

Moving your hands away from him, your eyes locked with his as Alastor’s reddish brown eyes, a flicker of amusement dancing within them. His lips curved from a small smile into a sly smirk, revealing his pointy teeth.

“Trouble?,” he questioned, making his one of his eyebrows raise in a cocky way , “Why..thats my middle name, my dear.” He said clasping and holding both your hands as he stared at you, before shrugging “But perhaps maybe I’ll make an exception—for you.”

You rolled your eyes to your husband's playful antics, before giving Alastor his goodbye kiss and waving him bye as he sinks into his shadow disappearing leaving you alone in the manor.

A moment of silent filling the air before

“Now, let me figure out WHAT’S actually happening.”

And that’s how this whole shenanigan began with you.

You see, while Alastor might have been expected to marry some ordinary demon, you in your case, were far from ordinary. As a shape-shifting demon, you possessed the ability to transform your identity at will, becoming a whole new demon or a manifestation of whatever your imagination desired.

The only limitations were those of your own imagination or..if Alastor was able to sniff you out, thanks to his keen sense of smell. HOWEVER, avoiding detection was usually easy enough… for the most part.

Weeks to months you’ve been keeping up on this “routine” of cat and mouse but all was paying off.

You found out Al has been to much of your dismay harboring rather a couple of secrets hidden and tucked from you. Other than your known overlord stuff he was a suppose helper at a hotel called the “Hazbin Hotel” that princess charlie owns and works at with a couple of other people almost made you drop with laughter when you first seen Alastor helping out with the hotel, you had to tell Rosie about this later.

It was easy to stay undercover and even easier to get close to him without him realizing and knowing it was you.

You made up your mind weeks ago that his territory would be fine, if you step away here and there to follow Alastor to the hotel

And that’s how you end up to the present day you.

You weren’t satisfied with knowing Alastor helps at a hotel. Yes indeed it was a shocker but that’s all? You were still puzzled on why Al said Charile name to began with

Alastor hasn’t suspected a thing yet due to him kinda being busy at the hotel or up in his office.

On the rare times you would see him, he was up in the upper balcony with nifty laughing with her, you couldn’t hear what they were talking about but knowing the both of them.. it was rather something strange or gruesome

As another shifted ended, the day ended with you back at the manor seating in your comfortable loveseat, reading a book before mere minutes Al got back, making it seem as normal as possible to not raise suspicions

The next day as things moved along you wished Alastor a goodbye as you watched him shift into the shadows and disappear off.

Waiting a few minutes after he left you then began to get ready for your shift at the hotel, that first started with showering to rid yourself of your natural scents–you didn’t want to be tackled down by your husband as soon as you walk in through the door.

Finishing up with your shower you stepped out spraying some random cheap perfume you had bought to scramble Al scents.

As you began styling yourself from being a lady of the 1920s with elegant beauty and designer dresses to a ripped petite coat, old bleach stained black skirt with a hole at the bottom with a finish messy down hairstyle

You laughed at your reflection

Seeing what you looked like in your normal form made you laugh. Alastor would probably gasp and dropped to his knees at the things you wore.

You walked out the house being sure to not be seen

Successfully making it past the fenced gates and out of the woods you came to the main roads of hell shifting yourself into a hell creature you have been using for this whole little “spying game”

A lengthy white fur being that stood, 6ft having two red stripes covering both arms and legs. Your (h/c) just reached the middle of your back and on your head sat two cream colored pointy horns, you kept your sharp teeth to still be able to scare off unwanted demons if the occasion was to rise

Checking yourself out in the reflection of the glass windows, you made sure everything was correct: your look, your attire and your scent.

You started to walk to the hotel, the sidewalk you have taken at least more than ten times.

As you inched closer to the hotel you for safe measures stopped and sprayed yourself down one more time in cheap perfume emptying the bottle before tossing it off in the distances and kept walking

Getting inside the hotel was an easy task,

You said hello to everyone vaggie, angeldust, sir pentious and his eggo children, huskier and nifty.

‘Everyone is down here practically–well almost everyone’ looking around furrowing your eyebrows together

“Where Charlie? She's usually with you, Vag?” You said to Vaggie who was sitting on the couch next to Angel looking at the TV

“She should be in her office right now Lucy. I think she also wanted to talk to you” Vaggie said kinda nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders towards the end as she looked up from the tv to you as you nodded your head

Making a hum noise you turned on your heel and began walking to Charlie office

Knocking before you entered, Charlie sat at her desk looking at papers

“Helluva morning Charlie. Vaggie was telling me you were looking for me, I just wanted to speak to you about what you wanted” You said as you walked towards her desk and seating down in one of the chairs across from it

Charlie still having her go lucky smile on her face nodded putting down a couple of papers “Yes Vaggie was right! I was looking for you Lucy!” She said pausing as she slide over a little stack of paperwork, “It’s nothing serious promise! I just wanted you to run these up to Al~!”

You nodded silently thanking hell for the opportunity to be closer to Al

“Yeah of course I can do that” You said standing up taking the paperwork in your black gloved hands “Consider it done Charlie!” You said walking out of her office as she screamed a thank you from behind a closed office door

You hummed quietly to yourself as you walked up the flights of stairs to get to Alastor’s door

Minutes passed before you got to the door that read in bold letter

“Alastor, Radio Demon”

Knocking lightly on the door, ‘he should be in there?’

“…”

‘No response..hm that weird’ You thought as you looked over both your shoulders before you placed a gloved hand on your door handle twisting the knob before it opened slowly

!!!CREAAAK!!!

Your body mentally cringed at the noise as you pushed the door more open glancing around one more time you slipped in the crack of his door, gently shutting it closed once you entered

‘Wow’ Was the first word that escaped your mouth looking into his room now, it's his office yes, but what was beyond it that made it almost feel like you were..alive it was the bayou swamp/forest it was just how you remembered before you died all those years ago..breathtaking

Scanning the dimly lit area with the only light being a moonless night and the few fireflies that infested the air, you didn’t see Alastor anywhere in sight, just a table with a chair on it in the middle of the grassy forest.

You bite your lip gently as you looked between the paper work and the forest before groaning knowing your mind was made up, as soon as you laid your eyes on the bayou. Leaving the paperwork for Alastor sitting on his wooden desk before you walked passed it and too the bayou landscape filling as it was almost a dream

Walking slowly into the grassy area with a smile as you breathed in the smell of forest closing your eyes and taking in the sound

It was a wonderful moment of quiet before the light noise of static in the forest made you snap your eyes open,.. that’s Alastor getting closer into range of where you were standing.

Being lucky and hopeful you HOPE he didn’t see you in the clearing just standing their with your eyes closed

You ran and hide behind some bushes and trees that were away from the table and chair you were standing near–and just in the nick of time

You could hear and see him from where you were hiding the full static sound of a certain radio demon as he hummed a tune with a deer slumped dead over on his shoulder, carrying it with ease as he slammed it down on the table, you examined as he sat down making a fork appear out of thin air as he leaned his staff against his chair, before disappearing into air as he began to eat the deer raw pulling at its meat–made you want to gag in disgust

‘He could’ve cooked it’ you thought watching him munch down on his hunt you can assume. Licking his lips after a couple of bites he wiped his mouth with a napkin like a true unhinged gentleman

Before he cleared his throat his eyes shutting but his smile spreading wider, causing you to get goosebumps

“I know your there” He said making you do a double take ‘he knows i am here?’ you thought blinking as you didn’t buy his bluff

“I can sense your presence,” he drawled, his voice dripping with a sinister charm.

“You can’t hide from me.” He opened his crimson eyes as they began scanning the area. You kept your movement still as he scanned over the area you were hiding. You saw how he squinted his eyes almost immediately at the bush you were in

“Come out, come out wherever you are” He sang out in a haunting tone

“You do know as a predator.”He started in a cheery tone before his voice dropped to a dual and deep one “ I can smell you out.” His voice ringing of no radio filter

Your heart began to sped up

‘fffuck’ Is what you thought before you seen Alastor disappear into thin air—it wasn’t a surprise you were accustomed to that but you couldn’t help your heart starting to speed up as he vanished into the air

“Run,” a disembodied whisper breathed against your nape

Took you no time of convincing as you ran not looking behind you as you kept your eyes forward only hearing the sound of something chasing behind,

You hit left and right, hoping to get Alastor off of you

As you take another right you ran behind a tree, hiding behind its figure as you heard and felt Alastor run pass you

You have never done something like this, it was rather fun but dangering

Peaking your head from behind the tree after what felt like entirety you didn’t see Alastor for safe measures you transformed yourself to a small forest animal, just in case Alastor wants to sneak behind you..again

Following near your foot trail from the tree branches, you jumped from branch to branch with ease as you stopped once more hearing static noise come from nowhere, you smirked in your creature form as Alastor wouldn’t suspect a thing

Watching from above, his form essentially appeared from thin air as he had a wide smirk and a look of hunger in his eyes as he looked at the spot you were suppose to be standing

“Where are you~?” He said

“…”

After a moment of looking in all the places he would expect and assume for someone to hide, he stood in the middle of the forest arms crossed as his ears flickered now and then

“Now where did they go? I was rather hungrier for something other than deer” He said you can tell by his voice he was almost dumb struck how could he still be able to smell you but your nowhere near..weird?

You slowly shifted yourself backwards away from Alastor as you didn’t want to alarm him nor give away your hiding, you were almost clear before a vibration was felt throughout the branch and in one second the branch snapped as you land ontop of Alastor head

“...”

It was quiet not either one of you dared to move before you felt your body being picked up fully by his hand and now..the jig was up

“What do we have here..” He said looking at you “A small diversion from the person thats in here?”Alastor’s gaze bore into you, dissecting your very essence.

A wicked glint in his eyes began to take place, “Well I guess since I couldn't catch my actual food, I shall eat you little one” Pausing to smug smile before continuing “Bad luck for you?~” He said as he lifted you above his mouth

You squirmed in his hands, heart racing.

‘This can’t be how (y/n)'s story ends’, you thought desperately.

Just as he was about to drop you into his abyssal maw, you shifted—your disguise falling away

You landed on top of Alastor, who staggered back, utterly unprepared.

“Don’t eat me,” you blurted out, adrenaline surging. Alastor stood, bemusement etching his features.

“Lucy?!” Alastor’s voice crackled through the air, a radio filter distorting his words. The static hummed, raising the hairs on your arms.

“Why are you in here?” His step was deliberate, menacing. You retreated, heart pounding.

“How did you make yourself appear small? Then big?” His eyes narrowed, dissecting you. Each step he took, you mirrored, until your back pressed against a tree—literally.

Your mind raced for a lie, an escape. But then it happened—the slip up, the unraveling.

You shifted into your true form, the one Alastor would recognized.

“(Y/N)?!” His voice lost the radio filter, and you met his gaze. Confusion etched his features. You bit your bottom lip, a awkward laugh escaping.

“Erm, surprise…?” You said as you watched him back up a little from you a smile now spreading wider by the minute as the static was the buzz in the air

As it was overtook by the applause he started to emitted as he turned the other way starting to laugh

“A surprise indeed dearie who would’ve know my wife could pull such a thing off” He started.. you didn’t like how this was sounding as you moved away from the tree watching him as he created slight distances between him and yourself

You watched as a nagging feeling was telling you to start running but ignoring that you spoke up “Alastor I-” He cut you off with his words

As he appeared behind you—the Radio Demon, with crimson eyes and a dangerous smile. His arm encircled your waist, pulling you closer. “You had the entire hotel convinced of this Lucy woman,” he murmured, his voice devoid of filters. “Bravo, dearie. Truly bravo.”

You didn’t like how he was taking the situation as what he said to you in a flare voice on confirmed how much you actually DID piss off Alastor with this little disguise

“You should run now.”

Those four words holding a threat of the unknown and you wanting to at least talk for yourself turned to face Alastor his crimson eyes only reflecting the pure chaos he was about to inflict on this game of catch with you, as you shook your head

“Please let me explain” You urged, desperation coloring your voice.

“5” Alastor your dear husband replied, holding out his hand. The air crackled with tension

“Al please—…”

“4..” He sung out as he closed his eyes, standing tall. One hand rested behind his back, the other poised like a pendulum. The smile of him showing his sharp teeth made you swallow harshly

“3” He warned out to you knowing your still there as he opened one eye to look at you breathing out short “Hmm..a shame your going to let me catch you so easy” He said shutting his open eye closed

“2 dearie” He warned out now holding two fingers as he began to shift in his stances his neck elongated he was slowly shifting into his demon form, and that’s when you finally decide to run

You huffed and panted as you switched your form a couple of times to give you longer distances away from Alastor as you made it deeper into the Bayou the ground under you turning slightly squishy as you kept running not interested to turn around

You ran for what felt like hours before you stopped down near a swamp bank hunched on you knees as you gain your second wind, taking a few more breathes you stood up, the air was quiet you couldn’t hear the static of Al, so you have to be far from him? or he just turned off that noise so he could stalk and pounce on you

Whatever the case maybe you took a breathe in and out as you looked ahead of the lake, nothing but more forest—

You thought different ideas like turning into a winged creature and flying back towards the rooms door to get out of here, but you didn’t know how high you could fly and since Alastor can’t fly nor has wings, you doubt that celling is high enough to get high enough where he couldn’t hit you out of air

Best option was to keep running or go into the swamp water, it would give you better opportunity, reflecting your options about it you heard the ground beneath you move with vibrations ‘fuck he already found me’ you thought coming to the defeat you were going to let yourself be caught but that was until you seen that fucken demon form mere seconds before he seen you, you bailed out dipping yourself slowly in the cold water taking a big breathe before dunking yourself under

Seconds stretched into eternity as you held your breath, your lungs screaming for release. The vibrations in the ground intensified, and you knew he was near. What was Alastor going to do when he catched you? He wouldn’t actually hurt his wife? You thought of as your heart hammered against your ribs, and you wondered if you should be actually concerned

Alastor scanned the area, seeking his dear wife. You pressed deeper into the water, your head submerged further, only the top part of your head concealed by a stray lilypad.

Minutes passed—or perhaps it was mere seconds—before you surfaced. Gasping for air, you wiped water from your eyes. Alastor wasn’t in sight.

You continued walk towards the edge of the pond before crawling out of the pond, lying down on the edge of it your knees still submerged as you sighed out in relief, shutting your eyes for what felt like a second

Before you heard, the clearing of a throat—a sound that sent shivers down your spine. Opening your eyes standing above you was the oh-so-familiar radio demon. You smiled, but before you could vanish into the water, Alastor’s grip closed around your arms. His purr was a velvet blade against your skin.

“Come now, darling,” he drawled, his tone deceiving. “We don’t want you to get wet. Let me assist you in this rather…exchange.” His strength pulled you back, and you squirmed, defiance flaring. But Alastor was stronger, and you found yourself pressed against his chest, dripping and caught.

“Let go,” you demanded, but he only laughed—a predator savoring its prey

“Now, dear, this is part of the game.” His eyes bore into yours, crimson flames dancing. “I’ve caught you, and now you’ll be the prize I win.” His tongue flicked across his lips

As Alastor carried you through the forest he hummed a simple tone, making you more on edge

You both arrived at another clearing?

“This isn’t where we started Al” You said as he set you down, gently helping you get up, as your eyes shifted from the scenery to him

Alastor’s gaze was going up and down on you, as you caught little symbols manifesting themselves around him as he was now a step or two away from you

“Come here” He said in a commanding tone, a chain manifesting around your neck as your eyes widen to metal chain outline with the color of green. Your hands immediately shot to your neck trying to grip and claw at it. You felt a tug come towards Al before you leaned your body away from it trying to keep space, digging your feet lightly in the ground

One real yank got you to move forward unprepared, the earth meant your face very quick and you instantly felt blood in your mouth

“Ah, be good for me, Y/N, and just obey,” he murmured, his grip unyielding. You crawled on your knees and hands, inching closer to him. The chain around your neck tightened, lifting you off the ground. Alastor’s crimson eyes bore into yours.

“My dear sweet little wife, Y/N,” he drawled, his voice devoid of filters. Each word carried weight, punctuated by his southern accent. “You, dearie, violated our little agreement.” His fingers traced the chain. “We had an understanding, did we not?”

Your breaths came in ragged gasps. “I didn’t mean to Al” you whispered

His chuckle echoed through the clearing as he lowered you gently to the ground, ensuring the fall didn’t harm you.

“So, my doe,” he began, his voice a velvet blade, “please give me an explanation. Why has my wife been running around disguised as a Lucy person, working—” His fingers closed around your hands, the chain that had bound you vanishing into thin air. “Her dear, softly delicate hands at a hotel that deserves none of her attention?” His words hung in the air, a question wrapped in menace. “Rather than be in a manor that belongs to her and her husband? Have I done something wrong?”

You sighed out as you nodded taking your hands out of his, to his displeasure “All this started because i heard you mumble in your sleep rather a month or so ago..princess name Charlie” You said with embarrassment flaming your checks as you looked away from Alastor not wanting to know what expression he held

The air was quiet between the both of you, not a word was spoken—You felt like you were holding your breathe with the tension in the air before you felt the touch of your husband on your hands again

“Mon cher~” He purred out making you look at him, his face of course held a wide smile but the look in his eyes held anger with something else glimmering around it “Nothing could replace you”

“No hotel” He said his hand holding out your arm as he kissed at the palm before saying, “No demon” Alastor continued raising his head kissing you at the center of your arm, looking at you in the eyes before kissing more up your arm while saying “And certainly no Lucifer daughter could take my eye off of something as ravishing as you my doe~” Al kissing up you between each pause as he at your neck slowly peaking at it having you basically in his lap with your back towards him, as you moved your head to side to let him continue as he only chuckle at the gesture

Al with his free hand grabbing at your chin to make you look at him as he stared into your (e/c) “But my dear mon cher, you agree at my words as if you understand, but it seems as though you forgotten who I belong too” He said letting go of your chin as both of his hands traveled down to your hips resting there “You forget who's name causes thrill of different emotions within me, so let me remind you~”

Alastor leaned into you, as you meant him half way kissing him

A passionate kiss with some underline aggression made the kiss much more thrilling as Alastor fought for dominance with you trying to dominate over him

With a deep chuckle he pulled away from the kiss, “You being defiant won’t end well for you dear” You looked up too him as you bite your lower lip holding on too his bow tie slowly undoing it as his hands trailed up and down your legs

“No words so be it” He shrugged before pushing you down to the ground, your back laying on the grass as he spread your legs open wide, everything on full display for him to see

He leaned his head down as his ears pushed back towards his head as his eyes half lidded looking up to a red face you “Mm~Darling your so intoxicating with that look on your face” He said before plunging his head down open his mouth before eating your pussy

Your eyes shut closed as your hands went immediately to his hair gripping and pulling at it, as you mumbled out moans holding onto Alastor head down as he kept eating you out

“Al~!” You said in low moan as you felt yourself starting to come undone down there “Alastor..I..I am going to—”

Before you could muster and get out the words to warn your husband, the sensation of Alastor mouth moved away from you leaving you in almost blank state, so close to clarity but yet so far …

You whimpered as you looked down to Alastor who’s face was smirking as he shook his head licking his lips slightly “You think after the charade you pulled your going to get to cum that quick and easily?” He said and laughed “Dearie we are just starting.”

Alastor in a instances flipped you over making you rise to all fours with help of his shadows tendrils you were now ass up face down, with your arms being held down by the shadows tendrils, you whimpered trying to move against them as you felt a burning sensation on your bottom causing you to move it from side to side

Alastor watched in trans like state as you moved your ass after he smacked it only making his boner go harder, as he rub on it through his pants

“Al, let me out of this! I don’t want to be—Ahh~!”You said feeling a familiar feeling slide in you as your eyes rolled behind you, you clawed at the grass alastor pushed all himself in you

“Mmm~There you go Mon Cher~” Alastor said rolling his hips as his head tilted backwards, both of his hands gripping on your hips keeping them in place as he began slowly pumping in and out of you

You moaned as you moved with his thrusts, arching your back as Al grunts and low moans could be heard

Alastor started to pick up in speed as you could only speak out the simple word “Al~” Which was music to the radio demons ears

“Oh (Y/n)~” He said as he kept up fast with his thrusts moving one his hand to your hair, gripping at it pulling you backwards as your head flung back

“Open your eyes.” He said making you slowly open your eyes as meant with the eyes of crimson red ones as his smile was deceiving as his eyes showed pure lust that was feeling “Fuck.” He said as gripped tighter on your hair yanking almost at the root as you moaned with each thrust

“I am going to finish in you.” He said in not a question but as a command as you tighten around him bring him closer as he shut his eyes letting go of your hair before opening his mouth and bitting at the back of your neck as you moaned closing your eyes feeling yourself reaching edge as you reached climax sametime as Alastor

Couple months later drawed by quick before you knew it you were back at the manor, watching over Al’s territory sipping tea as you smiled mindlessly, yeah there was really nothing to worry about.

FIN!!!

Extra! Extra!

(Y/n) and Al strolling through the park. hand in hand as Al hums a tune

Al: “I do say mon cher, I think I never told you why I was saying Charlie's name”

Y/n: “Yeah you haven’t, do share”

Al: “You wouldn’t believe it! Charlie in my dream was trying to paint my Radio Studio, it was all going to be rainbows with fluffy pink unicorns if I didn’t say her name”

Y/n: deadpans

Al: Only telling you the truth dearie~!sings out

Y/n: Your truth is utter dogshit sometimes

Al: gasp Darling!

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mandoriana · 9 months ago

Text

INCORRECT QUOTES

*Agravaine finishes his meeting in Arthur's quarters and Merlin accompanies him to the exit.*

Merlin: Bye, take care . *Agravaine leaves and Merlin closes the door* Go to hell, you bastard.

*Arthur is hosting nobles from the neighboring kingdom.*

Noble: And what do you do to distract and relax in this kingdom? I mean, there isn't much interesting around here, well, except for the beauties apparently. 😏 *looking at Merlin*

Arthur: Look, I have this liquid in this cup *shows his wine glass* if I throw this liquid in your face, I get relaxed and distracted, what do you think?🙂

Noble: 😰

*Merlin and Arthur are arguing again and Merlin decides to settle it with rock-paper-scissors.*

Merlin: *Rock*

Arthur: *Scissors*

Merlin: I won, haha!

Arthur: I don't agree *walks away from Merlin*

*A suitor plans a date with Arthur.*

Woman: How about we go for a picnic tomorrow, my king? 😊

Arthur: Ah *Merlin interrupts*

Merlin: Tomorrow won't work because he'll have a cold ☺️

Woman: But what about next week?

Merlin: Next week he'll be too busy, but have your picnic alone, it'll be nice. 😀

#merlin emrys #merthur #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #merlin x arthur #merlin incorrect quotes #incorrect qutoes #arthur pendragon

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junelovesaz · 10 months ago

Text

Shadows and Whispers

Note: Hello loves! I'll try to be more active and post more often, maybe once a week (this is my proof that I'm trying 😀). It's really been a long week for me, but I truly appreciate and I'm so happy for the support the previous post received. I'm very grateful for the likes, reblogs, and comments 💙💙💙 I'm not sure if I should make a second part of that one, but in the meantime, here's this. I hope you enjoy it, and sorry if it's a mess! Again, remember that English is not my first language, but if there are any mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know! I’m leaving the song I wrote this with, the slow version sounds really good :)

P.S.: I’m not really sure if this would work in ACOTAR, but I don’t know, I just liked the idea.

Words: +1k

Warnings: none, slight mention of tension

Summary: Reader and Azriel are sent on an undercover mission where they must pretend to be a couple. Reader has unresolved feelings, and the closeness with the shadowsinger leaves her confused.

The Mother definitely had a twisted sense of humor.

I was certain that in this life, I was paying for each and every bad thing I had done in my previous ones. If not, what would be the point of all this?

I had to suppress the complaint lodged in my throat ever since I had left the meeting with Rhys and he had communicated his plans for the Autumn Court.

Why? Why did these things always happen to me?

I could have gone with Cassian, Mor, or even Amren. I wouldn’t have had any issue pretending to be the lover of one of them. But of course, I had to go and pretend with Azriel.

Rhys had received a formal invitation to a ball in the Autumn Court, but decided to send us instead to investigate the political situation surrounding that entire red-haired family and how the stir was being perceived by the court’s nobles. Evidently, we were supposed to look as distracted as possible to catch any murmurs here and there, and the simplest way to do that was by pretending we were simply there to enjoy the evening as a couple in love.

Fantastic, I thought.

"I try to respect your privacy and not intrude on your thoughts" I heard Rhys’s voice in my head "but the way you’re shouting them, I could hear them even from the scraps of the Spring Court."

I grimaced but didn’t respond, letting the anger fill my mind so that he could feel it.

"Why are you so… irritated?" I heard him ask with genuine curiosity, and I sighed.

Rhys could dig just a little and find the reason, but he would never dare. Not without my permission.

"What do you care" I barked mentally, sulking.

I’d apologize later for speaking to my High Lord like that, but right now, I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears, and I guessed he could too because a laugh echoed in my mind before it simply vanished.

"Idiot" was the last thing I thought before raising my mental walls and reinforcing them with everything I had.

By the Cauldron, what was the problem? Well, for starters, I wasn’t in love with Cassian or Mor.

Hell, I had even suggested going with Amren to avoid going through this. Going undercover with Cassian was impossible—Nesta’s scent was all over him, and it wasn’t a secret that he had a mate. Mor was in the Winter Court visiting Viviane, and Amren… well, she was busy with Varian.

So that only left the shadowsinger and me free. Plus, neither of us was involved with anyone publicly, so we were the perfect candidates.

This time I didn’t suppress the groan of exasperation as I headed to my own room in the House of the River. I missed the company of the House of Wind, but now that Cassian and Nesta were there, it was impossible for me to stay—for the sake of my mental health, I fled that place. So I sighed and nearly cried when I reached my bed, bracing myself and trying to find the strength to endure what would happen in a few days.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two nights had passed. Two damned nights practicing a mask of indifference and composure that I clearly didn’t feel.

I had also been more sensitive than usual, so I tried to avoid everyone, including Azriel. However, I saw Cassian every morning at training, and although I felt him casting strange glances at me, anticipating my mood, he didn’t ask about it. For that, I was grateful.

In a few hours, Azriel and I would be on our way to the Autumn Court, and I was just trying to control my breathing to avoid panicking. Even now, my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t fasten the endless buttons on the back of the pretty midnight blue dress, adorned with some crystals at the top and quite fitted from the waist down. Courtesy of Rhys.

A knock on the door distracted me from the mission, and holding the top of the dress to my chest, I opened it to come face to face with the man I had been avoiding with all my might.

I had to restrain myself from shrinking away upon seeing him in all his glory—not dressed in Illyrian leathers, but in a formal suit the same color as my dress, fitted in all the right places that made him look out of this world. If you added the large wings behind his back, the stoic hazel gaze, and the tendrils of shadows that surrounded him, giving him a mysterious and irresistible air… My breath faltered a bit.

He scanned me from head to toe as well, and the shiver that ran through me was completely involuntary. His gaze burned, but I did nothing to break the silence in which we were immersed.

"You look… beautiful" he finally said, hesitating a bit.

I swallowed hard and looked away, unsure of how to act. I had never been shy about receiving compliments, but when they came from him, they managed to destabilize me.

"Thanks" I whispered "You look great too."

Azriel nodded, and I saw his eyes drift to my chest, right where my hands were holding the dress.

"I need help with the buttons" I said in a tired tone.

He nodded again and entered my room, closing the door slowly. His shadows roamed freely, and I felt one of them caress my braided hair, making me smile.

"Sorry" Azriel apologized as he gestured for me to turn around.

I shook my head.

"I like them" I replied with a smile that died the moment I felt his fingers touch the exposed skin of my back.

"And they like you" he answered in his usual calm tone.

I didn’t respond, fearing my voice would tremble, and I focused on avoiding my skin from tingling wherever his touched. I even resorted to thinking about the painful blows to the stomach that Cassian gave during training when Azriel’s hands brushed dangerously low on my back.

I knew he also noticed the tension by the way his wings were tucked, but he didn’t say anything. Finally, I released the breath I had been holding once he finished and he removed his hands, though a strange sense of loss invaded me. Nevertheless, I ignored it.

A moment later, I turned around and faced him, tilting my head back to meet his eyes now that we were so close.

"Rhys told me you had certain… reservations about this" he broke the silence, looking at me with a calm expression.

Of course, he had told him.

I almost scoffed.

I opened my mouth to respond, but he interrupted me.

"We won’t do anything you haven’t consented to or that makes you uncomfortable"

I frowned.

"Of course I know that, Az. It’s just that I doubt this will work" I responded, smoothing out my dress a little.

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Though that wasn’t the main reason. It all boiled down to the fact that doing this with him made me nervous.

"It will" he reassured me. "Rhys and I have evaluated all the scenarios. We are the most credible for this plan. Just trust me"

I nodded, though I couldn’t shake the slight anxiety of having him so close.

The shadow from before wrapped around my arm, making me smile again. Even though the touch was cold, it didn’t feel strange, so I didn’t fear playing with it with one of my fingers, not realizing I was practically brushing Azriel’s wing membrane until I noticed his shiver and the way his breath escaped him. I quickly pulled my hand away and looked at him only to find him with his eyes shut and the rest of his shadows slightly agitated.

"I’m sorry, Az" I apologized. "I’m so sorry"

I knew how reserved the Illyrians were about their wings and how they shouldn’t be touched, so his silence only increased the unease brewing inside me.

"It’s fine" he replied slowly after a moment. "It’s nothing" but I could see him swallowing hard.

I bit the inside of my cheek but said nothing more.

"We should go now" he spoke after a moment.

I nodded and took one of his hands, preparing to pretend I was in love with him, according to that stupid plan. When in reality, I would stop pretending I wasn't, for a moment.

That was what terrified me—letting my feelings out and not being able to hide them again after tonight.

But there was no turning back now.

"Ready?"

No.

"Yes" I responded with the steadiest tone I could muster.

He gave me a deep look before I felt the shadows envelop us, and soon the room lit up, leaving us at the entrance of the grand hall of the Autumn Court.

Then, I let go of one of his hands and gently brought it to his cheek, trying to convey my intentions. He held my gaze for a second before bending obediently, giving me the opportunity to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.

The sensations exploded inside me, but I held back. This was a mission, I reminded myself. So why did his hand immediately curve around my waist?

This is just a mission, I repeated.

I pulled away a moment later, smiling softly at him. Before we both straightened up.

I supposed we had made it quite clear that we were together by kissing in front of all these people. I made sure to do it at the entrance so everyone would see, and I guessed Az understood too by the slight squeeze he gave my hand.

I looked at him one last time, letting a bit of my love for him escape. And then I turned towards the crowd, with a bright smile.

All right, the game had begun.

List of tags: @favsrachz @kennedy-brooke @rafeecameronsbitch @cleverzonkwombatsludge @latinxbipride @highladyofhogawarts @mp-littlebit @andreperez11 @rcarbo1 @janebirkln @olive-main @sillyfreakfanparty @clementine111002 @thoughtdaughtersworld @blessthepizzaman @littleblackcatinwonderland @sizzlingstarlightsky @historygeekqueen @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife

Let me know if you want to be added to the list of tags!

#acotar #azriel #i dont know what im doing #acofas #acomaf #acosf #acowar #azriel x reader #sjm #bat boys #Spotify

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onlyfortaetae · 2 months ago

Text

Baby Daddy (m) kimtaehyung!

A test. Two lines. One question Taehyung wasn’t ready for fatherhood—but neither was she.

•𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈:boyfriend!taehyung x femreader

•𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst,drama.and romance

•𝒄𝒘: Two people who have no idea how to do this whole parenting thing. Expect emotional tension, confusion, and characters stumbling through fear, feelings, and figuring it out—one awkward moment at a time.

𝑨/𝒏: 𝒉𝒆𝒉.....𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆. 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚'𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆😀

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Well, the pull out method definitely didn't work.

He can see that now as you show him the pregnancy test. Well, you showed him two minutes ago, and he's been dead silent just staring at it ever since. His head was starting to spin from the breath he forgot he was holding.

"Fucking 'ell..."

He finally murmured as he exhaled the long breath. His brown eyes blinked down at the white stick, the little plastic thing changing his life. He pressed his lips into a fine line, not like you could tell his face's ministrations from under his mask.

You've been his girlfriend for a few years. Fuck, he loved you more than anything, but his silence made him seem angry. In his head, all he was thinking of was the long line of shitty fathers in his family. His fingers flexed a bit, wondering if he could outrun that lineage.

"Looks like the guest rooms finally gettin' a renovation," He mumbled under his breath. It was hard to decipher if he was happy, since everything had to be a sarcastic remark.

A nervous laugh bubbled up, though there wasn't much humor in it. "Renovation? Yeah, something like that. A pretty big one, actually."

He placed the test down with a sigh, tilting his head towards you. "How far on are you?" he asked, clueless as to what this meant.

You watched his fingers tap against the worn wood of the table, his brow furrowed in thought. "And, um… about eight weeks, give or take." You kept your voice even, trying to gauge his reaction beyond the initial shock.

The silence stretched, thick and heavy, punctuated only by the rhythmic drumming of his fingers. You waited, your own breath catching in your throat, for the next sarcastic remark, the worry, or maybe, just maybe, something else entirely.

"When will we know if it's a boy or girl yet? Cause I'm wondering what color I should paint that impromptu nursery..."

That was Taehyung for happy, at least. He was a working man, never really relaxed to celebrate the hell. Hell, the lads back at base would rejoice at the news for him.

All of a sudden, his eyes widen briefly. He slowly looks up to you.

"This mean we should get hitched?" he asks, his voice genuinely curious. He didn't know how this parenting thing worked, didn't know how you thought of it. His was of rationalizing was a million questions, ones he only trusted you to answer.

A soft smile touched your lips, a warmth spreading through the anxiety that had been knotting in your stomach. His question, so earnest and a little bit clueless, was unexpectedly sweet. "Well," you began, your voice a little shaky but filled with a newfound tenderness, "it's definitely one option. Is it what you want, Tae?" You reached across the table, your hand hovering over his before gently resting on his.

"Because this isn't just about the baby, it's about us too. What do you envision for our future?" You watched his face, searching for more than just the initial surprise, wanting to see the man you loved beyond the shock of impending parenthood.

His eyes flicked down to your hand on his, the warmth of your touch seeping through his calloused skin. He was silent for a moment, his brow furrowing slightly beneath the skull mask. When he spoke, his voice was low and thoughtful, a rare glimpse into the deeper emotions he usually kept locked away.

"I've never really thought about the future, not beyond the next mission or the next deployment. But with you... and now this little one..." He trailed off, his gaze drifting to your stomach before meeting your eyes again.

"I want to be there. I want to come home to you every night, to watch you grow and change. I want to see our kid take their first steps, hear their first words."

A wave of emotion washed over you, a mixture of relief, tenderness, and a burgeoning sense of hope. His words, so simple and direct, held a weight that resonated deep within you. You squeezed his hand gently. "Oh, Tae," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "That's... that's more than I could have hoped for."

A tear escaped and traced a warm path down your cheek. You hadn't realized how much you'd been bracing yourself for something different, something less. To hear him speak of wanting to be present, of envisioning a future with you and the baby, it eased a knot you hadn't even been fully aware was there.

"So," you continued, a small, watery smile gracing your lips, "does that mean... you want to get married?" You needed to hear the words, to solidify this unexpected turn, to truly believe that this future you suddenly dared to imagine was real.

Taehyung thumb brushed over the back of your hand, a gentle gesture that belied his usual roughness. He swallowed hard, the muscles in his throat working visibly. When he spoke, his voice was rough with emotion.

"Yes, I want to marry you," he said, the words coming out in a rush, as if he was afraid he might change his mind if he hesitated. "I want to stand up in front of everyone and say that you're mine, that you and our kid are my family. I want to protect you, provide for you; be the man you deserve."

He paused, his dark eyes searching yours intensely. "I know I'm not good with words, and I'm shit at showing my feelings. But I promise you, I'll spend every day trying to be the husband you need. I'll be there for you, for our family. Always."

Tears welled in your eyes again, but this time they were tears of pure, unadulterated joy. Your heart swelled with a love so profound it felt like it might burst. You squeezed his hand back, your own grip firm.

"Yes," you breathed out, a shaky laugh escaping your lips. "Yes, Taehyung, a thousand times yes."

A wave of relief seemed to wash over his features, the tension in his shoulders easing ever so slightly. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards, a small, genuine smile that reached his dark eyes, making your heart flutter. It was a rare and precious sight, a glimpse of the man beneath the mask, the man who was now vowing to be your husband and the father of your child.

"Good," he said, his voice a little rougher now, thick with emotion. He brought your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to your knuckles. "Good."

#bts #bts army #bts au #bts au fanfic #bts au fic #bts au aus #bts stories #bts x reader #bts suga #bts angst #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #kim taehyung smut #kim taehyung angst #dark kim taehyung #dark au #kim taehyung x reader

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dovveri · 1 year ago

Text

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars

synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)

warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing

w/c: 6.4k

a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!

ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.

▂▂⌇

you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.

you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.

your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.

▂▂⌇

funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.

it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.

she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.

frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.

and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.

▂▂⌇

you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.

you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.

you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?

you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.

sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.

▂▂⌇

"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.

"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.

"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.

you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.

the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.

your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.

sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.

it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.

when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.

▂▂⌇

you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.

picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.

there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?

he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.

it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.

after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?

it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.

▂▂⌇

"y/n!"

you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.

she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.

"oh. who's this y/n?"

you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.

"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"

"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.

"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.

"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.

"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.

danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”

sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don’t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”

you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.

“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”

danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.

“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.

“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.

▂▂⌇

when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.

you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.

it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.

sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.

these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.

you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.

your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.

“hello?”

“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”

“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”

“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”

“i just woke up frank.”

“it’s 2pm.”

“yeah.”

you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.

no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.

frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.

▂▂⌇

you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.

you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.

it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too… nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.

though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.

“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.

you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”

she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”

it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.

“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”

the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.

“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”

you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.

you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.

so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.

you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.

“y/n?”

it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.

“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.

she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…

“what are you doing here?”

“i-i- u-um i-“

“how did you get my address?”

“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."

she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.

"...did you come here for something then?"

"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."

you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.

"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.

"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"

the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.

"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.

"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.

“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”

you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.

sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.

you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.

suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.

▂▂⌇

after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.

you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.

now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.

eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.

▂▂⌇

that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.

you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.

she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.

you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.

"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.

you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.

"why?"

you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.

"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."

you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.

"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."

sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"

"well... i- no but-"

"how is this time any different then y/n?"

"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.

you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.

"okay."

"okay?"

she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."

"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.

"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.

you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.

it took you only a month to break that promise.

▂▂⌇

"hi, frank's wife right?"

you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.

you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.

you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.

you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.

but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.

▂▂⌇

"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.

you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"

she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.

"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.

sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."

frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"

you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."

"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."

"aww thanks sana."

sana grins, digging into her food.

you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.

you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.

it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.

you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.

you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.

"why are you avoiding me?"

sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"yes you do."

"no i don't."

"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."

she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"

you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."

"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."

"what?"

"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."

the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"

"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."

"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"

she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.

but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.

sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.

"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"

her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."

you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.

you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.

you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.

▂▂⌇

you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.

you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.

you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.

the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.

it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.

"do i know you from somewhere?"

you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."

"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"

you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.

"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."

you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.

"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."

momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.

"wedding?"

momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."

your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?

“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.

“i-i- yeah sorry.”

“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”

“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”

“yeah no problem.”

she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.

“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.

“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”

“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.

momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.

“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?

momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.

once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.

▂▂⌇

"what was that y/n?"

"what?"

"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"

"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."

"it's not that easy sana."

she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"

"i don't- no sana-"

"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"

"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"

"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."

"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"

"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.

you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.

she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.

"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."

"please sana, please just-"

"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"

you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.

your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”

sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.

you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.

“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“

you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.

“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”

she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”

“n-no sana please d-don’t-“

“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”

and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.

#sana #minatozaki sana #twice sana #sana x reader #twice sana x reader #sana x fem!reader #sana x f!reader #twice x reader #twice x fem!reader #twice x f!reader #twice imagines #sana imagines #dovveri

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