#hes also FUCKING BASIC OFF HIS FAVORITE IS OPTIMUS PRIME

[coremichael]

no bc im literally so fucking embarrassed to admit that maybe I'm starting to GENUINELY like transformers OKAY. and it's embarrassing bc my DAD is a big transformers fan and i hate admitting that i succumbed to his interests. AGAIN.

[ablobwhowrites]

When the bots found out m/n has a favorite

Vehicon m/n in Cybertron school be like

The dynamic of Vehicon m/n and SG Vehicon m/n

Vehicon m/n in the RID universe

Since you plan to have yandere trollhunter

M/n is reconsidering his life rn

A bonus

Vehicon m/n healing

Bayverse transformer universe is vehicon m/n's nightmare, cause he is scared of Megatron cause he'd rather be with Arachnid than being dragged into the bayverse cause he thinks that Megatron will grab him and rip him in two like jazz (he would never...just a leg maybe) he also is scared Quintessa cause like have you seen what she can do?

Vehicon m/n: "I don't have favorites. What makes you feel like I have favorites?" *Looks behind him* "oh my primes

Also love the mental image of Optimus giving vehicon m/n especially when bro need one cause bro is the embodiment of “it’s you!” To the “despite everything it’s still you.”

B-127: "hey guys I found m/n!...but they kinda look weird?"

vehicon m/n: "how the fuck did I get here?"

Trollhunter m/n whispering : "it's okay, we just have to be super quiet"

*loud notification*

Toby: "hey clash of claAAAA-"

*m/n gets snatched by bular*

trollhunter m/n when he gets a magical weapon that they have no idea how to use. (you guys can decide what weapon it is)

Tfa arachnid: "I created you, you created me"

Tfa y/n: "Optimus why did you create that guy?"

Optimus: "I didn't! I tried to save her!" (I rewatched transformers animated)

Vehicon m/n: "finally a normal looking motorcycle"

Rid m/n: "odd green motorcycle but hey at least it's normal, let's take it back to base can be a cool present for Russel or-"

*motorcycle transforms into kickback*

Vehicon m/n: "ITS A BIG ASS BUG, IT OFF ME OH MY GO-"

(kickback is a big ass bug so I'd be really freaked out if that big ass cricket got in me. Also I love the minicons in the show but also is like underbite some kind of dog or something like that? Cause steeljaw is a wild) w

I had this thought when watching transformers one for the 3rd time, what if vehicon m/n had D-16’s crash out? Like as vehicon m/n slowly realizing Silas took everything from him, his life, his ability to every see his family again and then snaps at prime basically dong the same talk D-16 did in the movie but only wanting revenge on Silas but if he wasn’t talked out of it by prime then basically I think slowly m/n would turn to the decepticons basically only being blinded by rage and revenge for Silas. Should I let vehicon m/n crash out for a little while? Cause I feel like he deserves a small bit to crash out but I don't know what do you guys think?

Anyways hope you guys are well and please stay hydrated and get plenty of rest guys.

[anony-man]

Stress Relief

Word count: 3,210

Relationships: Ratchet/Wheeljack

Rating: M

Summary: When Ratchet has overworked himself yet again, Wheeljack knows just what to do to help his favorite medic relax a little.

Warnings: Lots of seggsual material. The whole thing basically revolves around Ratchet getting fucked, though, so..

**********

Ratchet had decided long ago that ‘stress’ was a very broad term.

In the field, he was pressed for time. He had a duty to save as many wounded as he possibly could while helping comfort those too far gone along their journey to the Allspark. Being stuck in the heat of the battle while mechs lay all around him bleeding out was practically a textbook definition of stressful. It was a hands-down stressful experience, and not one he was keen to experience again.

Working late into the night, accompanied by the steady beep of various machinery as he monitored a recovering patient was also stressful, but in a different way. Despite his experience, Ratchet still found himself nodding off at times, only to wake up at the slightest shift in a patient’s vitals. His spark thudded in his chest as he listened for the smallest change in the sounds from his patient, the mildest of hints that the patient’s progress was about to take a drastic nosedive. It wasn’t the heat of the battlefield, but it was still stressful.

Standing over a desk he’d created out of bent, rusty metal as he struggled to decipher the formula for an energy source that was dwindling before his very optics, however, was probably one of the most stressful situations Ratchet had ever found himself in. Despite his past experience of hundreds of years spent running back and forth, assessing multiple patients as he struggled to keep everyone under control, Ratchet hadn’t ever felt anything as troubling as he felt now.

Not only was short on time and supplies, but despite his best efforts, Ratchet knew he was out of luck. If they didn’t find a way off of the Primus-forsaken planet they’d gotten themselves stranded on, and soon, well… Ratchet didn’t even want to think about it.

He rubbed his optics and stood up straight, a heavy sigh escaping him. The base had long since grown silent, and Ratchet was left alone to work in the dim light. The children had left hours before, their respective guardians escorting them home. Optimus had done his best to keep Ratchet company for as long as he could manage, but the prime’s own exhaustion had been evident from the look in his optics. Ratchet hadn’t hesitated to send him to his quarters, but he had to admit that Optimus’ presence had been comforting—if only slightly.

Ratchet’s joints creaked and groaned as he reached for one of the empty crates nearby and dragged it closer. After gently lowering himself back down, he prepared to lose himself in the layers of equations and symbols he couldn’t even *begin* to comprehend. However, when he tried to reboot the console—when had it even turned off on him?—it simply refused to work. He tapped the digital keyboard again, starting to feel rather impatient.

Nothing.

“Great,” Ratchet huffed, rolling his optics as he threw his servos up in the air with exasperation. “What’ll be next, a Decepticon invasion?”

“Mm… not quite,” a familiar voice replied. Before Ratchet had a chance to respond, warm servos wrapped their way around his bulky waist, pulling him in close. “We’ve talked about this, doc. Didja really think I’d just sit by and watch you work yourself to death?”

“Hello, you,” Ratchet sighed, his irritation overshadowed by audible affection. “How’d you even manage to get inside?”

“Trade secrets,” was Ratchet’s only response. The newcomer’s servos trailed up and down Ratchet’s sides, digits slipping in between tender mesh to tug at the wires beneath. “Why are you still awake? I thought we agreed on putting the late nights to an end.”

There was a sense of authority to the words that sent a shudder through Ratchet’s frame. Despite his own exhaustion, he could feel the familiar tingling between his thighs, and he didn’t discourage it. He leaned into the tender servos, pressing his aft against the mech’s codpiece. To his surprise, he could sense a warmth just as intense as his own beneath the thick metal.

“Wheeljack,” Ratchet chided, his words breathy as the wrecker’s servos dipped between his thighs. “I’m busy. If you’re here for another session, I suggest you make it quick.”

“You better watch your tone, doc,” Wheeljack grunted, his helm inches away from Ratchet’s audials. “Or do I need to remind you who’s in charge here?”

Ratchet’s breath hitched in his throat at the words, a burst of warmth spreading beneath his panels. He’d never admit it—not to the rest of the team, at least—, but the evenings he had spent with Wheeljack for the past few months had become a form of stress-relief for him. Without another word, Ratchet allowed the wrecker to guide him into a standing position against the makeshift desk, physically turning him around until he was face-to-face with his partner.

“That’s better,” Wheeljack hummed with satisfaction.

Ratchet watched through half-open optics as Wheeljack lowered himself to the floor, crouched between the doctor’s knees. Just the sight of Wheeljack kneeling on the floor, waiting for access to the slick warmth beneath Ratchet’s panels had him shivering with anticipation. He shuddered as Wheeljack traced a careful digit in a slow, lazy circle over the sealed interface array.

“Open up for me,” Wheeljack said, his optics reflecting the impatience he didn’t try to hide.

Seconds later, the wrecker’s demand was punctuated by the sound of Ratchet’s valve cover clicking open. Wheeljack made a small noise of appreciation as he studied the soft, plush opening, his gaze taking in the way Ratchet’s tender lips clenched and pulsed. Despite their given roles during intercourse, Wheeljack had always loved the chances he got to fully worship Ratchet’s valve for the beauty that it was. Tucked between thick, shapely thighs, the plump lips were truly a sight to behold. With one servo squeezing Ratchet’s thigh, Wheeljack traced the edge of his other servo across the outside, eliciting a shuddering groan from Ratchet.

“Shhh,” Wheeljack hushed the medic as he leaned in, his faceplates inches away from the warm, dripping entrance. “Don’t wanna wake the others, do you?”

A quiet, shaky sigh was all Wheeljack recieved in response. Satisfied with his partner’s compliance, Wheeljack pulled his servo away, only to slip one of his digits between the valve lips, drawing in and out with a soft squelching sound. He raised his other servo to brace himself against Ratchet’s hip before dipping a second digit in, carefully rubbing against the tender node on the outside of Ratchet’s valve.

“You must’ve been expecting me, hmm? Were you waiting for me to come and give your pretty little valve the attention it deserves?” Wheeljack whispered, his soaked digits circling the rim of Ratchet’s valve before gently slipping back inside. “Such a beautiful mech you are. Nice and hefty… Just the way I like it.”

Ratchet’s hips jerked forward into the slow, methodical rhythm, encouraged by the sultry words Wheeljack spoke. He gave a small, keening groan as Wheeljack moved faster, his desperation overshadowing the cool exterior he typically wore.

“You like that, doc?” Wheeljack asked, his own frame growing hot from the intimate display. “You want more?”

“Please,” Ratchet shuddered, one servo gripping the edge of the desk while the other held tight to Wheeljack’s shoulder plating.

Wheeljack pulled his digits free, a soft sound of satisfaction escaping him at the way lubricant dripped from the tips. After taking a few moments to relish in the way Ratchet’s frame had begun to shake, sticky heat radiating from between his thighs, Wheeljack leaned in again. This time, instead of using his servos to pleasure his partner, Wheeljack began stroking over the rim of Ratchet’s valve with his tongue. He sucked on the tip of Ratchet’s node, relishing in the tremors it sent through the medic’s frame, before moving down further. Ratchet kept his servos gripped on the edge of his desk, his frame heaving in each breath as his spark thudded in his chest.

“Are you ready, Ratchet?” Wheeljack asked, momentarily pulling away from Ratchet’s quivering valve long enough to stare up at the medic, who stared back down at him with a look of utter desire.

“Don’t make me wait any longer,” Ratchet huffed, his servos already reaching down to pull Wheeljack up to his pedes. “Please, don’t make me wait.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Wheeljack grinned, slowly rising up to his pedes, “I suppose we can keep moving, sweetspark.”

Ratchet had never been one for pet names, but in the heat of the moment, he couldn’t deny the rush of pleasure it sent through his frame. He drew Wheeljack close, leaving desperate, sloppy kisses up and down the inventor’s neck as Wheeljack prepared himself. Before long, the sound of the wrecker’s spike pressurizing filled the air. Wheeljack’s servo dipped down to fondle Ratchet’s aft, grinding against the medic’s front as he prepared to slip inside of Ratchet’s valve. With every stroke of Wheeljack’s servo, every moment the tip of his spike brushed against his valve opening, the aroused medic gave another soft sound of approval.

Finally, Wheeljack grew tired of teasing. He slipped the head of his spike into Ratchet’s valve, careful not to move too quickly. Ever so gently, Wheeljack pushed deeper until he had completely filled his medic. Then, with slow, grinding motions, Wheeljack started up a steady pace in and out of the soaked valve.

“Frag,” Ratchet groaned, his servos digging into Wheeljack’s plating. “Ohh, frag, Wheeljack—nnghh, please—“

“Talk to me, Ratchet,” Wheeljack panted, the friction increasing as he sped up the pace. “Tell me what you need, sweetspark.”

Ratchet’s servos were caught in a vice grip against Wheeljack’s shoulders, his frame moving back and forth in time with Wheeljack’s thrusting. He threw his helm back with a loud groan as Wheeljack drove deeper, the ridges of his spike catching on tender nodes deep in Ratchet’s valve.

“Oh, yes, please—agh, harder, please!” Ratchet gasped, his voice rising with desperation as he grew closer and closer to his overload. The desk beneath him began to rock, pounding against the table with loud, thundering sounds that echoed through the base. “Nnghh, please—Ahh!”

“Good, that’s good,” Wheeljack panted, his servos braced against Ratchet’s hips as he plowed into the medic’s frame. A low, rhythmic sound of clanging metal against metal was punctuated by the noise of the desk against the wall as the two chased their climax.

A sound between a choked moan and a gargling whine slowly slips out of the sputtering medic’s lips, his frame hot to the touch and his cooling fans on full blast. As Wheeljack’s words sent another jolt of pleasure through his frame, Ratchet couldn’t not beg for more.

“Please,” he moaned, the sound loud and pitiful as he shuddered and jerked against the other mech’s steady pace “Wheeljack, please, more—I need more, I—ohhh, harder, please!”

The shift in position was startling, but Ratchet suddenly found himself being laid down against the cold base floor, Wheeljack’s own shuddering form towering over him. He barely had a chance to speak before the wrecker’s spike was slipping back into the warmth between Ratchet’s thighs.

Primus, he could feel himself teetering over the edge. He’d never been a quiet partner during intimate moments, but this experience was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Sure, their sexual encounters have never been very… well, vanilla, but Ratchet could hardly help the obscene sounds that escaped him, nor could he stop the loud, heavy breaths he sucked in through his vents as he trembled under Wheeljack’s touch.

“Keep talking, doc,” Wheeljack said, his own words punctuated by heavy pants and soft, nearly inaudible grunts. Unlike before, the wrecker didn’t hesitate to begin up a fast, steady pace, causing Ratchet’s frame to rock back and forth into the violent thrusts. “Say my name, yeah? Go on, keep—nghh, keep going.”

Ratchet, not one to disobey the wrecker during their more intimate moments, simply braced himself against the desk as Wheeljack pounded into him, his mouth open wide with sounds of pleasure and approval. “Ungh—ahhh, yes, Wheeljack, yes—frag, harder, harder! Harder, yes—!”

“Go ahead, Ratchet,” Wheeljack groaned, slowing down long enough to lean over Ratchet’s prone form and whisper into his audials. “Overload for me.”

Immediately, Ratchet’s entire frame was suddenly alight with a burst of pleasure stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. As a loud, staticky cry escaped him, Ratchet arched up into Wheeljack’s hold, his hips bucking against the wrecker’s frame with enough force for his paint-job to rub off onto Wheeljack. Waves of heat spread like fire from between his thighs into the rest of his frame, tearing a second loud, desperate moan from the medic as Wheeljack kept a steady pace, drawing the overload out for as long as possible. Only when Ratchet’s systems began to shut down, overwhelmed by the sudden skyrocket in temperature, did Wheeljack stop.

The blackout only lasted for a few seconds, but when Ratchet’s optics online again, he found himself staring up at Wheeljack’s smug expression, his frame quivering and his breath coming in soft, shuddering whimpers. A coating of slick, warm liquid dripping between his inner thighs told him everything he needed to know before he even had a chance to register what had occurred. So caught up in the post-coital haze, Ratchet almost didn't notice when Wheeljack finally slipped free of his entrance.

“Feeling better?” Wheeljack asked, one servo stroking up and down Ratchet’s thigh while he stared down at the medic. “Must’ve been a good bit of stress to unpack. Never heard you scream so loud, doc.”

Ratchet turned away, his faceplates heating up with embarrassment. “Let me up,” he huffed, ignoring Wheeljack’s extended servo as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Wheeljack ignored Ratchet’s stubbornness, instead helping the medic up to his pedes. As soon as Ratchet had stood up and settled himself back down onto the storage crate, Ratchet awkwardly cleared his throat. He fiddled with his servos as Wheeljack stood by, not speaking a word as he watched the medic with careful optics.

“Well,” Ratchet finally said, deciding to be the one who broke the silence. “That was… that was nice, Wheeljack. I really needed a break.”

“Uh-huh,” Wheeljack replied. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the medic, his expression unreadable.

Ratchet glanced between Wheeljack and the console, which was still turned off. The familiar tension he felt when dealing with the energon problem—the one problem he knew he’d never be able to solve—began to rise up in his chest. It took all of his effort not to give in right then and there, and let Wheeljack take over for him… again.

“There’s still a lot of work for me to finish,” he added, one servo rubbing the back of his helm as he waited for Wheeljack’s next move. “You can stay if you’d like, but—“

“I didn’t say we were finished, did I?” Wheeljack said, his arms remaining crossed over his chest as he stared down at Ratchet.

At first, Ratchet was a little surprised. He had agreed to trying out a new dynamic in their relationship, of course, but he hadn’t expected Wheeljack to take new roles so seriously. Still, he couldn’t deny the sense of comfort and satisfaction he felt from the wrecker taking the lead—even if it meant he couldn’t finish the work he so desperately needed to complete. However, the feelings of security he felt didn’t automatically mean he was going down without a fight.

“I can’t just quit working now that you’ve showed up,” Ratchet said, his voice lacking the usual tension he typically carried. “Now step aside and let me finish, Wheeljack.”

There was a brief silence between the two as both mechs waited for the other to give in. Much to Ratchet’s frustration, however, Wheeljack was refusing to budge. He opened his mouth, a snarky retort on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t get a single word out before Wheeljack stopped him.

“Stand up,” the wrecker said, motioning with his servo.

“Wh—what?” Ratchet scoffed. He crossed his arms then, glaring up at the wrecker with a look of defiance. “Wheeljack, I told you—“

“Don’t make me ask twice, doc,” Wheeljack cut in, his frown deepening. “I already told you we aren’t done here. Stand up for me.”

Ratchet made a sound of protest, but eventually complied. Once he did, however, he was a little surprised—just a little—when Wheeljack took a seat on the cargo container instead. The wrecker reclined back against the console, using it as a backrest as he made himself comfortable. At the look of confusion on Ratchet’s expression, Wheeljack merely chuckled, then beckoned for Ratchet to join him.

“You can’t be serious,” Ratchet said, his voice dropping to a hushed whisper. They were alone, as far as he knew, but he still checked to make sure they weren’t being watched by any fellow Autobots.

“Plenty of room,” Wheeljack said, gently patting the space between his legs. “Or are you too good for snuggling your favorite wrecker now, too?”

Ratchet took a step forward, hesitant. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable—he’d done much more drastic things with the wrecker before, after all, but this… it was new, undiscovered territory for him. It felt good, of course, but it also felt wrong. As if sensing his inner dilemma, Wheeljack leaned forward and gently grabbed ahold of Ratchet’s servo, drawing him in close. He didn’t stop until Ratchet was comfortably situated in his lap, and even then, Wheeljack still adjusted and readjusted their position. Once he was satisfied, Wheeljack glanced down at Ratchet, the medic’s helm comfortably positioned to rest against the wrecker’s chest.

“Comfortable?” He asked, on servo stroking up and down Ratchet’s side, the other interlacing with Ratchet’s free servo.

There was silence at first, and Wheeljack was more than willing to remain convinced that Ratchet had finally given into his contentment and allowed himself this one chance to relax and be comforted. As was to be expected when dealing with the stubborn medic, however, Wheeljack was wrong.

“…you didn’t have to come, you know,” Ratchet whispered, speaking just loudly enough for Wheeljack to hear.

“‘Course I did,” Wheeljack replied. He shifted against the cargo box until their frames were pressed together, their arms intertwined and legs comfortably stretched out over the edge. “I’d never leave you here to sulk all by yourself.”

“I do not sulk,” Ratchet grumbled. After a few seconds of silence, he added, “I… I can take care of myself, you know. I am a medic, after all. It’s my job—“

“Your job is to care for the rest of the team,” Wheeljack said, gently correcting Ratchet as he stroked the medic’s faceplates with his free servo. “It’s my job to take care of you, doc.”

Ratchet made a soft sound of acknowledgment, but didn’t respond. Satisfied that he’d finally won the discussion, Wheeljack wrapped both arms around the tired medic and held him close. Their private, more intimate moments were often few and far between, but Wheeljack was happy to take every chance he could get with the medic. His medic.

[iholli]

These for Bumblebee 🐝🐀

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Bee my little guy !!! who tests me daily but I still cannot hate him 😂💖💖

💛 2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

probably his ability to look at literally anything and go "friend shaped? friend shaped!" and then become an unstoppable force in befriending said target. that's the power of Bumblebee and we love a little guy who will vibe with anybody!

💛 12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

this is RTE continuity territory hehe<3

Bee primarily uses his radio voice box to talk, but if he has to communicate in a hurry he resorts to the beeps and clicks like he uses in TFP! he also uses Chirolinguistics frequently, though preferably with bots he trusts.

💛 17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

lmfao you knew what you were doing with this one 😂😂

off the top of my head I weirdly don't hate StarBee. idk, I've seen good fanart. I don't mind it. wouldn't go out of my way for it, but I can give it a yeah, cool! specifically TFA, I think they're just the right matching wavelength of obnoxious that it works ???

💛 18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

basic answer but Optimus, no question. that's his dad !!! boogie woogie woogie !!! I love that they've been a matched set since the dawn of time too, wherever Optimus goes there's a little Bee with him to keep his spirits up a lil :] looks at Skybound and starts fucking bawling :]

💛 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

"oh my god. he's a little guy. he's such a little guy ???? this is like. a puppy. idc if he's one of the oldest soldiers on Optimus Prime's team, he's baby." BBM shaped my whole impression of him 😂😂

he aggravates the hell outta me sometimes (iykyk) but like. damn that's still my little guy !!!!!!! just don't let him have a voicebox and I will love him !!! sorry Bee you're banned from talking. it's weird now when he can speak. 😔

[quetzalpapalotl]

I wish to love and appreciate idw optimus more too. But I also don’t want to read through the entirety of IDW 1.0. Can you please recommend me any specific issues/parts?

Hi!! I see that you have already reblogged my IDW1 Optimus-focused reading guide, so I assume that you read that and still felt like it was too much. I'd do anything to spread the OP love, so I will try! But before that, please forgive me for rambling a bit.

That guide is not the entirety of IDW1, I tried to cut as much as possible, and I want to reiterate that I consider Barber's Optimus the definitive take on IDW1 Optimus. To the point that I like all other stuff with him only in because I read them through Barber's characterization which serves to give them depth in retrospective. And it does this because Barber's writes Optimus with the intention of consolidating all the other writer's takes on him (which were uh... a mess). It's a very contextual reading, a conversation, there's more to get from it if you know the background. So I would ask you to reconsider giving it a try, skip the crossovers if you want. I'll redo the reading guide with links to download/read online if you want.

That being said, I understand that sounds like "read these bad comics in the hopes you will like this one other comic" and the point is to have fun, not to do homework. So in that case I'll say to just read exrid/Optimus Prime and the JRo stuff (but we'll come back to teh later)

See, the exrid/OP is a whole story, so recommeding individual issues doesn't make much sense to me, it would be like recommending one episode of an anime or one chapter of a book, it would entirely lack context and lost much of it's meaning, especially because Optimus is a main character whose actions cannot be taken out from the rest of the plot. My favorite moments require build up, like when Optimus annexes the Earth to the council of worlds, that doesn't hit the same if you didn't read all the previous issues where Optimus was trying to remove all Cybertronian influence from Earth and the series of events that led to him changing his mind and think such a fucking move was a good idea.

And I've talked about this before, but while Mtmt/LL has its biggest strenght in character dynamics and out-of-screen build up, exRID/OP has it in thematic consistensy and narrative cohesion. All parts of it and there to make a point that feeds the whole, character's perspectives feed each other and the biggest pay-off comes at the very end. Also, Optimus Prime is a story about him as a character as much as it is about him as a symbol, so seeing the effects he has on other people is important.

I suppose you could read exRID starting from post Dark Cybertron as it basically becomes a different story and the first part doesn't feature Optimus (except in issues 6, 10, 19) I would not recommend this as there are still a lot of links between the two and you would miss a chunk of Arcee's story (who is the one other character on which the whole thing falls upon). But you could. Don't skip Combiner Wars tho.

Other than that here are some hightlights:

The Death of Optimus Prime: This is the one that works best as a single issue, as it is a one-shot. It sets up phase 2 so definitively read it.

JRo's stuff: That is Chaos Theory, Mtmte #9-11, Mtmte #36 and Spotlight: Orion Pax. Now, JRo's OP is certainly the one that is more likeable, but I don't necessarily think that it's good. JRo kinda wants to have Optimus be more morally grey but always reels back and portrays him as the ultimate good seemingly without considering the implications of a lot of the stuff he does. But still, Chaos Theory is the backbone of phase 2, they are fun reads and it introduces a lot of backstory and aspects of his personality that will be important.

Punishment: As this is a mini series, it's good to read on its own. It's still set in the broader context of exRID, but at least it's a complete story and a compelling one! Lots of Optimus brooding, but not in an annoying way.

Optimus Prime #1-6: Okay, so if you don't want to read all of exrid/OP or are testing the waters before commiting to it. This arc deals with Optimus trying to get people to accept Earth as part of the Council of Worlds and risking war for it, contrasted with events of his past. This may be the easiest arc to read on its own, but I also think it does a great job of building Optimus character. It's also a great example of the narrative not shying away from Optimus doing bad things, stupid things and having anger issues (and also the cop thing), while also retaining the core of his character as someone who genuinely wants to do good and getting into his head to make sense of his actions (not justify them). This is something that I feel only Barber gets right. Also Zeta Prime is there and he's the most important character that barely shows up.

Autocracy: Ok, ok, listen... this may or may not be the most disliked series in IDW1 and while I think it has a worse reputation than it deserves, I still wouldn't call it good. While its more honest abotu what being a cop entails than Chaos Theory and is willing to have OP be unsavory, that aspect doesn't really go anywhere and it fails to make OP an enganging character whose actions make sense. But it still has the backstory of how Orion became Optimus and a friend likes it, so hey, maybe you will too. Also the aforementioned flashbacks of OP 1-6 feel to me that they are written in direct response to Autocracy and try to explain how that is the same character than the one in Chaos Theory. I'm actually working on meta about that (anon, if you're reading this, I haven't forgotten). So for all that Barber is trying to recontextualize and reconciliate all the other takes on Optimus, this is the most obvious one and Autocracy is not that long. So it may be worth checking out.

Sorry for rambling again, I hope you find this useful!! Feel free to ask for links or any other questions!

[taratard]

Imagining an AU where Megatron gets captured. The Autobots are celebrating but Optimus gets ConcernedTM when Megatron makes a comment about seeing him soon. But still, the Prime does his job, locks up the prisoner, and the rest of Autobot High Command is convinced the war is basically over.

And then everything goes completely batshit. CHAOS, across the entire known universe. Because yes, the Decepticons have scattered, BUT NOT IN THE WAY ANYONE WOULD WANT THEM TO.

-

Starscream and the Command Trine have taken a large portion of the fleet and are off committing random acts of thievery, destruction, and miscellaneous shenanigans against all and sundry, because Starscream absolutely MUST "prove" he was better at leading an army than Megatron. This has very, very mixed results.

Soundwave is loyal as ever, but is unfortunately missing a lot of firepower (frag you, Starscream!) needed to try and rescue his glorious leader. He is still determined to do his best, though, using everything in his power to generally fuck with Autobot High Command, scramble long-distance communication, and generally make their lives a living hell. Ravage is enjoying being able to sabotage basically anything he can get his claws on. Laserbeak is being Best SpyTM, while Frenzy and Rumble are thriving in the overall chaos.

Overlord is committing genocide and torture on an even larger level than he did on Garrus-9, because if he can’t have that "final showdown" with Megatron, he could still prove himself the Better Bot by obliterating as many Autobots as he can, as brutally as possible. Because if the Autobots defeated Megatron, and he destroys "enough" Autobots, then it proves his Overlogic that he is "The Best" - but we all know it's never going to be enough for our favorite psycho.

Tarn is on his own bender similar to Overlord, but for him it's more a means of punishing the Autobots for daring to capture and hold Megatron, and is demanding the release of the Decepticon leader. And of course he makes sure Autobot High Command receives plenty of video recordings of what's being unleashed on their underlings in the meantime, his own particular brand of "motivation" at play.

Shockwave is now free of the only one able to veto his science projects and generally nobody is paying attention to manage him, so of course he takes the opportunity to begin unleashing his Most Unapproved/Unsanctioned Projects (which, despite getting vetoed by Megatron (Yes, MEGATRON) as "Too Evil" or "Too Unethical," he still kept the files for the projects JUST IN CASE) and it probably ends up with several planets transwarped into alternate dimensions, spontaneous black holes appearing and disappearing, and just... in general, those kind of universe-altering shenanigans. Probably alongside several smaller, less noticeable ones, like mild inconvenience fields where everyone's left sock disappears or something, idk.

Most of the general Decepticon populous are off committing random crimes and generally being minor (and/or major) nuisances, since their mindset is basically: "hey, nobody can tell me what to do anymore, I can do what I want!" So if they want to dick around on some random planet and mess with organics, or go off and steal things, or just cause random sabotages and explosions, then they will because why not.

(There are probably way more specific 'cons with their shenanigans that I could include, but these are just the top ones that popped into my head. PLEASE feel free to add in any ideas you can think of, because I thrive on chaos and these kinds of things give me life!)

-

Long story short: Everything winds up so crazy that at some point, Optimus has a complete breakdown and just barges into Megatron's cell, basically going, "FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS CONTROL YOUR DAMN DECEPTICONS BEFORE THE UNIVERSE IMPLODES" (likely with Ratchet and Prowl right behind him, trying to also get into the cell, probably yelling some variation of "OPTIMUS NO" - which is probably why Optimus sealed the door in the first place.)

And of course Megatron is just sitting there, smug AF, trying not to be petty enough to say I told you so but it's clearly all over his face anyways. So instead he plays hardball and is like, "So, what's in it for me?" And Optimus nearly implodes because the entire fragging universe is likely on the line BUT OF COURSE MEGATRON HAS TO BE AN OPPORTUNISTIC LITTLE SHIT ASWKQMWJMFUDM

-

Not entirely sure which continuity this would branch off from, but it's giving me major IDW vibes.

(Also giving me vibes that this might be a setup for a potential MegOp, because Optimus is probably going to do something martyr-adjacent like offer himself as prisoner, basically reversing their current roles, in hopes of negotiating a formal peace treaty because clearly Autobot victory isn't likely to happen, and if Decepticon victory means the death of all his Autobots, well, they're not gonna go for that, either.)

You are a supervillain who commands most of the criminal underground, after being placed behind bars the heroes come to you for answers when crime shoots up by 60 percent.

[tending-the-hearth]

transformers: rise of the beast + what i loved about it

this movie was absolutely PHENOMENAL and had me on the edge of my seat for the majority of it. it's the first time i've seen a transformers movie in the theater, and i'm obsessed. i've loved transformers for the longest time, so this movie just had absolutely everything.

so below i've put together a list of everything i loved, my favorite moments, little over-analysis bits, all of that good stuff!

spoilers below if you care!!

first off, i absolutely loved how they set up the Maximals, and gave them such a distinct look and storyline. it was a great way of introducing new characters, as well as setting up the main plot device of the key!

Noah's relationship with Kris made me so emotional, like he loves his little brother SO much, and Kris loves him just as much, like UGH SIBLING DYNAMICS

Elena my beloved beloved nerd

She's one of my favorite characters in the movie, and I love how they portrayed how much she loves research, and how much knowledge she has

Obsessed with Noah keeping track of Mirage's braincell within the first five minutes of their meeting

but also their meeting + beginning scene, absolutely no thoughts in either of their heads (affectionate)

Noah and Mirage's friendship being built from the very first car chase, and them communicating so well even before Noah knows what Mirage is!!!

"I work in a museum and you've broken in and now we're hunting for an ancient artifact together" is SUCH a quality trope and Noah and Elena are so valid

Just saying I don't think I've ever happy-stimmed so much during a movie then I did when I saw Optimus and Bee show up on screen

Optimus being so against trusting the humans vs. how protective and fond he is of them in the Bayverse movies was such a good choice, and i'm so happy they gave Optimus more of a character arc!!

THEY REFERENCED CHARLIE AND THE BUMBLEBEE MOVIE REALLY BRIEFLY AND BUMBLEBEE GOT ALL SAD AND WAS LIKE "I HAVE A FRIEND" BECAUSE HE LOVES CHARLIE SM

Kris being just as protective over Noah as Noah is over him!!!!

ARCEE <3333333

Optimus continually calling Bumblebee "Bee" healed my heart he loves him so much

Going off of that, Elena finally giving us an "Optimus is Bee's big brother" confirmation made me SO happy

also yeah... Bee... baby boy... I literally thought I was going to have a panic attack bc i was so upset over him dying

listen Transformers Prime traumatized me with Bee's death first, so I still have a hold over from that era

I love Wheeljack with my whole heart and was absolutely terrified he was going to die during the battle with the Terrorcons

the Maximals are so fucking cool, I love their designs, and Primal's entire character???? beloved????? fantastic??

AIRAZOR DYING OF THE SAME THING THAT KILLED IRONHIDE I'M GOING TO BITE SOMETHING HOW FUCKING DARE

Primal having to kill Airazor was devastating

Noah running to check on Elena after that fight, Noah and Elena my beloveds 😭😭

MIRAGE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Absolutely heartbreaking

The "home team?" "home team." callback hurt my soul

also Noah being Sonic, Kris being Tails, and Mirage being Knuckles?

BUT THEN HE'S OKAY AND THE SUIT??? AND NOAH AND OPTIMUS FIGHTING ALONGSIDE EACH OTHER??? NOAH LEARNING TO WORK WITH A TEAM???? OPTIMUS LEARNING TO TRUST HUMANS????

Also Kris and Noah basically being like "new brother? new sibling?" as soon as they meet Mirage

Bee's entrance was absolutely fucking top tier, he's an icon, he is the moment

Also Scourge was absolutely terrifying, one of the BEST bad guys

Nightbird was also so so cool and also so so terrifying, the Terrorcons were insane

FUCKING G.I. JOE AT THE END??? I FULLY THOUGHT NOAH WAS OGING TO GET RECRUITED BY SECTOR SEVEN?? WHAT THE FUCK???

Also the post-credit scene with Mirage coming back was fantastic, he's such a little shit and i'm obsessed with him

overall i'm obsessed and this is one of my new favorite movies, i'm really happy the movies are getting an overhaul, and hopefully we'll see more within this section of the franchise!!

[erimeows]

TFA Characters’ Kinks (Autobot Edition) (NSFW)

Filthy sin under the cut, you’ve been warned. Bone apple teeth.

Optimus Prime: Face-sitting, body worship, breeding; Optimus Prime is what I’d consider a gentle dom, very soft in his reprimanding of any S/O he has, a sensual, slow, passionate top. He likes pulling you to sit on his face, and holding your thighs so you can’t move as he devours you for as long as he can get away with. Additionally, worshipping your body by kissing you head to toe and telling you every little thing he relishes in looking at on your figure is his favorite part. Sex/interfacing with Optimus usually ends with you on top of him, his hands on your hips to guide him up and down your spike so he can fill you with his transfluid, him whispering in your ear about how beautiful you are and how much he can’t wait to fill you up/see you bearing his sparklings.

Bumblebee: Praise, roleplay, thighs; Bumblebee is super into your thighs. Unlike Cybertronian thighs, yours are plush, soft, and pillowy; you can trap his head between them and squeeze as hard as possible without doing any damage. He loves being told how good he’s doing when he’s pleasing you, and though it’s usually reserved for special occasions, roleplay is something he enjoys because it gives him an opportunity to give something different, whether that be changing the dynamic or just escaping from himself for a bit. 

Bulkhead: Mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, costumes; Bulkhead has a thing about watching you get yourself off, which was an accidental discovery. Before the two of you had even started dating, he’d accidentally walked in on you masturbating, two of your tiny fingers plunged into your tight heat and legs spread wide, (h/l) (h/c) locks fanned out underneath your head on your pillow and (s/c) skin burning bright red, (e/c) eyes half-lidded and glazed with lust. Back then, he had apologized profusely and left, slamming the door shut. But, when the two of you started dating and getting intimate, he asked you to masturbate in front of him so he could see it again, and it was ten times better when he was able to get himself off at the same time as you. Additionally, Bulkhead has an odd fascination with you withholding overloads from him and adores seeing you in costumes; lingerie get-ups, slutty halloween costumes, etc. 

Ratchet: Hair-pulling, brat-taming, spanking; Ratchet’s not too hardcore, but he’s definitely on the rough side. When you’re good, he gives you everything he wants, fucking into your pliant body and holding your head still by your hair so he can kiss you and look at your blissed out face as he pleases. When you misbehave, though, he finds himself giving you warnings, whether that be him telling you to stop sending him lewd pictures while he’s working in the medbay or shooting you glares when you’re running your fingers over his interface panel underneath the table with Optimus Prime sitting right across the two of you. He waits until no one is around to punish you, bending you over and taking your clothes off so he can spank your ass as hard as he wants or fucking you  and yanking your hair until you’re crying tears of overstimulation.

Prowl: Sensory deprivation, shibari bondage, spikewarming; Interfacing with Prowl feels like it never ends but also goes far too fast, because you have no way of feeling the passage of time with him; he likes to keep you blindfolded and tied up in complicated knots when you make love. There’s something about you completely submitting to him and allowing him to do so, trusting your body to his servos, allowing him to see and control you in such a vulnerable state that he gets off on. Prowl sinks his spike into you, slow and steady, and stays in one spot for just a bit too long to relish in how your heat squeezing around him feels. 

Ultra Magnus: Pain play, minor pet/master, collars; Ultra Magnus basically uses you as a sex toy to take his day to day frustrations out on, WHOOPS. Wants everyone to know you’re his, has you pick out a collar to wear (he has a bracelet that matches), calls you kitten after doing research on human kinks and finding out about petplay, has you call him master in return when you’re having sex. He usually treats you like a princess, lavishing you with love and care and making sure you’re pampered, but he likes inflicting pain on you and watching you squirm, too.

Jazz: Cum/Transfluid-fixation/play, squirting, biting/slight bloodplay; Jazz is fascinated with your bodily fluids, as he is with many other things about the human body. The first time he fucks you so good that you squirt/cream around his spike, he’s hooked and becomes hellbent on making it happen most of the time you have sex; regularly licks it off of you/his own fingers, eats you out, anything he can do to make you finish like that. The bloodplay is pretty rare, but he’s fixated with biting you during sex and drawing just enough blood to lap up with his glossa. 

Sentinel Prime: Humiliation, bondage, spitting; Sentinel Prime is a bit complicated, IMO, just depends on who he’s with/how he’s feeling on any particular day. Sometimes, he feels like tying your hands to the headboard and talking down to you while forcing eye contact and fucking you slow and hard. Other days, he wants you to be the one to tie him down and ride his spike, wants you to force his mouth open, spit in it, and make him swallow it. Really just depends on the vibe, lol, but either way, Sentinel is into some questionable/humiliating shit that he wouldn’t ever admit to anyone else. 

Blurr: Edging, overstimulation, quickies; Blurr isn’t above pulling you into any random restroom on earth or storage closet on Cybertron to interface, because he gets pent up very easily and is impatient when it comes to getting his release. He finds the thrill of being under a time constraint and possibly getting caught arousing. As impatient as he is when it comes to his own pleasure, he doesn’t mind making you impatient by edging you multiple times throughout the day, getting you close to cumming, only to stop and go do something else. On the other end of the spectrum, he loves overstimulating you and can’t get enough of the moans/expression you give when he keeps pulling orgasms from your sensitive body.

[antagonistchan]

really long post sorry lol but i have so many thoughts about this that i so desperately need to get out

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: Cheating in Transformers.

For some backstory; I’ve vaguely known about Transformers as long as I can remember (I had a bunch of Armada minicons as a little kid, and my Dad liked G1 when he was a kid and told me about it a couple times (and eventually I inherited his old toys)). And then I really got into Transformers myself in 2006 when I was 8 years old, when I started watching Transformers: Cybertron (which was already over halfway done at that point, oops, but still). And then I got REALLY into Transformers myself in 2008, when I truly discovered the Transformers fandom (I discovered tfwiki, and I discovered a couple Transformers youtubers who I actually still follow today, and I realized that I wanted to start collecting Transformers...); ever since then, I’ve been a hardcore Transformers fan. Transformers has consistently been at least one of my biggest fandoms this whole time. And most of the time it’s my absolute biggest, I’ve just had a couple phases here and there of thinking “maybe I care about this other thing just as much as if not more than Transformers” (most notably during my Vocaloid phase from 2015-2018). My favorite video game of all time is the Mass Effect trilogy, and a couple weeks ago I was thinking “there’s probably nothing that could ever top Mass Effect as my all-time favorite game” and then a week later I realized “Actually, no, there’s one thing that could potentially push Mass Effect aside, and that would be my dream Transformers game”.

So, I'm currently 23, I got into Transformers when I was 8, and I’ve been a hardcore fan since I was ten. More than half of my life. Way more than half of my conscious life since the first few years don’t really count.

So, with that context in mind, returning to the point of this post: Cheating.

I don’t like it when Transformers cheat. The robot mode and the altmode are extremely important to me, but ultimately, the most important part of a Transformer is the transformation between the two itself. And when it’s cheating, I feel a little... well, cheated.

Point 1: Bayverse. When I first saw the Bayverse designs, I was immediately put off because I knew that those designs couldn’t translate into toys without cheating. The only toys that even remotely approach movie-accurate transformations are Masterpieces and old Leader-class toys, and even then it’s not fully there. So like, the Bayverse designs feel like they’re missing the point of Transformers. And remember, I was a kid back then. I’m not saying I was a super mature kid or anything; rather, I was put off because of my childlike priorities. I wanted a toy that didn’t lie to me.

The Bumblebee-style designs are a step in the right direction; the characters are all actually recognizable as themselves now. But the whole design philosophy is still wildly out of scale with what’s actually possible in a toy. And god, as I get older, the more and more I do actually understand the appeal of the Bayverse design philosophy. It is a really cool and creative and interesting design philosophy. But it’s a good design philosophy for a movie, NOT for a toy. So even though I actually appreciate the Bayverse style now, it still stings that it doesn’t really understand toys, and the only Bayverse-style toys I’d ever be willing to buy are the insanely expensive ones.

(Also, it’ll always sting at least re: non-Bumblebee designs that the most high-profile part of the brand for so long was one of the least representative, and was so radically different from everything else. To a lot of people, Bayverse is Transformers. If those people are hardcore fans... I don’t mind too much that Bayverse defined Transformers for them. I can’t fully relate, but I do relate a little (these movies have been around and huge for more than half of my life, I definitely have some nostalgia for them), and they clearly have a lot of love for it and that largely placates me. But the fact that Bayverse also defined Transformers to a lot of casual consumers- THAT makes me wildly uncomfortable)

I had a similar initial reaction to Animated’s designs, but then Animated’s designs actually won me over because the designers used some sort of blood magic to make the toys actually work. The toys actually transform the way they do in the show! Incredible! And even at reasonable prices, and looking good in both modes (at worst, there’s some minor kibble and visible robot bits)! They actually did understand the point of Transformers, and I feel ashamed for having ever doubted them! Animated is actually one of the highest points of Transformers, both in media and in the toys! God, I love Animated!

Point 2: Speaking of Animated, we gotta talk about Wreck-Gar.

And by “We gotta talk about Wreck-Gar”, I mean “Wreck-Gar is actually perfectly fine and everyone’s way too harsh on him”. Animated Wreck-Gar is one of the most infamous backpack-formers, and backpack-forming is one of the most infamous methods of cheating.... but honestly, with Wreck-Gar, it doesn’t feel like cheating at all.

Yeah, he’s got most of a dump truck hanging off his back... but it feels like that’s the point. A dump truck is already just a cargo delivery system, so with Wreck-Gar, it just feels like the robot is still just a cargo delivery system. He doesn’t have a backpack because he’s poorly-designed, he has a backpack because he has a backpack.

That’s not to say the backpack-forming doesn’t have any issues. It does still create two problems- that is, it restricts his waist articulation and gives him balance issues. Those are both unfortunate. But it’s not cheating.

Kibble doesn’t feel like cheating if it feels like it’s supposed to be there.

Point 3: Fake kibble.

CHUG toys like to cheat a lot, especially lately.

For instance, PotP Punch/Counterpunch. Counterpunch’s chest is not the actual windows; the real windows are in his feet and slot over Counterpunch’s chest.

This is... kinda clever. It’s still cheating, but the fake thing is just hidden inside the real one, so everything’s kinda in the same place.

But again, it is still cheating, and I feel like cheating misses the point for me.

In this case, they’re clearly cheating because it makes the two modes look better. And they’re right. If the altmode used Counterpunch’s real chest, it’d be too small; and if Counterpunch used the altmode’s real windows, it’d be too big. I get it. But I just don’t think that’s worth the cheating.

But much like actual kibble, sometimes fake kibble doesn’t feel like cheating.

Optimus Prime has had many many toys with fake cheating over the years, because they’ve experimented with so many ways for him to transform but like to keep his design mostly intact (hell, that’s part of why they’ve experimented so much- Floro Dery’s take on his design is really hard to replicate in a toy). And they have varying levels of “does this feel like cheating”.

Classics Voyager Optimus Prime is cool, but his fake kibble is absolutely cheating.

Powermaster Prime doesn’t feel like cheating at all to me. Part of that is because in the Masterforce anime (which I saw before I’d even seen the toy), they don’t hide how he actually transforms in the slightest. They show him transforming, and he transforms like the toy. There, it feels like they just wanted him to transform different, but wanted to keep the iconic details, rather than making him transform different for the sake of the iconic details.

Earthrise Optimus Prime’s fake kibble is mostly cheating, but the way it cheats is actually so interesting that, if I force myself to think of it the way I think of Powermaster Prime- pretend that it admits it transforms funny- I can actually accept it as somewhat not cheating.

But there’s one Optimus Prime that doesn’t use fake kibble at all and still ends up with a Floro Dery-accurate robot mode. I really love the way this Optimus Prime transforms.

It just fucking sucks that this Optimus Prime’s vehicle mode is so bad that even I- who prioritizes the transformation above the vehicle mode- am willing to say “Wow, this toy is garbage”.

I’m speaking of Classics Deluxe Optimus Prime. The robot mode isn’t as good as Earthrise’s, but it was good at the time, and god, that transformation is absolutely beautiful. But jesus, that vehicle mode is ugly as shit. I really wish they’d give Classics Deluxe’s general design another go, have an Optimus that transforms just about the same way but doesn’t have the worst fucking vehicle mode of all time.

Point 4: Partsforming.

I don’t usually like partsforming. I have a hard time accepting Earthrise Cliffjumper even though it’s mostly very good because the partsforming is so much.

But sometimes- and I think you might be noticing a pattern after the kibble and fake kibble bits- partsforming doesn’t feel like cheating for me.

Partsforming typically feels right when it actually gets so egregious that it loops back around to being Really Good, Actually.

For instance, RiD01 Ultra Magnus. His entire vehicle mode basically splits in half, and one half becomes his legs while the other half becomes everything else. The fact that he has to split in half so dramatically and then recombine equally dramatically makes it feel like an inventive and unique transformation instead of a cheat.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it 

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling). 

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH 

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god 

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind 

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM 

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded 

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell 

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte 

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao 

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared, 

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode 

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in 

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy 

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound 

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome, 

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :( 

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god 

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye 2012 Annual - None of These Guys Know How to Be Nice to Others or Themselves

Hey, so you remember how every kids’ show until basically 2006 had a Fantastic Voyage episode, where they explored the inside of one of their friends’ bodies? We’re opening up with that.

Rodimus and a few pals are busy trying to clear out a nanocon infestation from none other than Ultra Magnus himself, and are doing it in the most convoluted way possible because Brainstorm wanted to try some new invention out, and I guess Ratchet just can’t say no to that faceplate. Whirl’s in there, which seems like maybe not the best idea. Wonder how Magnus feels about all this.

Oh my god he’s been asleep this entire time.

There’s this thing that doctors are supposed to do before performing any medical procedure on a lucid patient, and it’s called informed consent. It would appear that it didn’t happen here. Ratchet, your medical license, please and thank you.

Things start getting hairy for the Fantastic Voyagers during their throw-down inside Magnus’ mouth, and Ratchet’s forced to do something drastic: he has to ask Ultra Magnus, king-sized stick-in-the-mud, to smile.

Woof, that’s rough. Don’t worry, buddy, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

The sudden engagement of the smiling pistons is so violent that they explode, thus destroying the nanocons entirely and utterly. Great!

Word gets out that Ultra Magnus smiled. Not so great.

Atomizer’s all about them crossbows, so I’m going to make a call and say his design aesthetic is probably rustic chic. Of course, rustic chic for a bunch of space robots probably looks a hell of a lot like brutalism. What I’m saying is, I don’t think Atomizer’s work before the war was too hot.

Everyone Magnus runs into and tries to inflict his job upon makes fun of him. Magnus is a sensitive soul, so he takes it to heart. Poor baby.

A bit later on, in the double page spread with layering issues, Chromedome wakes up from a nightmare.

Rewind has to think about this and double check his database to make sure that Chromedome hasn’t in fact tried to commit suicide by way of ingesting space napalm, and I think that says a lot about Chromedome from a mental health standpoint that even his husband isn’t 100% sure what all he’s tried.

Chromedome hasn’t tried this particular avenue of suicide, which means that his flashback nightmare is the result of one of the many mnemosurgery autopsies he’s performed over the years. Turns out digging around in someone’s memories has a few side-effects.

Meanwhile, Tailgate’s inviting Cyclonus to his Autobot graduation ceremony, because while Cyclonus pulled a real bastard move last time we saw him, Tailgate still seems to think he’s worth having around. Tailgate really wants to be liked by people. Cyclonus doesn’t even respond, and Tailgate decides to leave him alone to stare out at the free-to-use image of space that’s currently in their window.

Then there’s Swerve, who’s down in the engine rooms looking for his roommate, Red Alert. Yep, that’s right; Red Alert somehow ended up sharing a room not just in general, but with Swerve, who we established in issue #1 as being maybe not his favorite individual.

Swerve stops by the corpse of Ore, who I guess they haven’t scraped out of the side of the quantum drive yet for whatever reason, and he take a moment to pay his respects.

OH MY GOD.

Everyone looks like they’ve got retainers in for this issue too! What an oddly specific design choice to see repeated by multiple artists. And on that note…

The 2012 Annual was drawn by two people, Jimbo Salgado and Emil Cabaltierra, both of whom seem to only have this singular contribution to the Transformers franchise. Salgado appears to have been employed by DC Comics, and Cabaltierra’s most recent work seems to be on  the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics. There isn’t a ton of information on either of them, so I suppose we’ll have to take the art here at face value.

Over in Rodimus’ inexplicably not-pink room, he and Drift are discussing talking points for Tailgate’s graduation ceremony. Well, Drift’s talking while Rodimus half-listens. We get a taste of Rodimus’ motto for the series.

Drift thinks that less might be more in this case, but the saying, much like a majority of Rodimus’ personality, is based in feelings of inadequacy. Optimus says it- though not nearly as often- and if it’s good enough for Optimus Prime, surely it’s something to emulate. Rodimus, feeling a bit snippy over being called out on his hero-worship, accuses Drift of not actually caring about the ceremony and just wanting to get to the part where they hit up Crystal City to join up on the Knight Quest. Drift, admittedly, is excited to see the Circle of Light again, which is surprising considering what happened the last time he was in Crystal City.

I dunno, I just feel like things would be awkward.

Magnus walks in, demanding the whole crew be thrown out because they’ve been making fun of him. Rodimus tries to help Magnus see the lighter side of things, saying that a little harmless ribbing means that the crew is starting to warm up to him, but Magnus doesn’t see it that way.

There’s also the issue of the Lost Light still not having made contact with the Circle of Light. Magnus is concerned about the sect of religious zealot-pacifists having been attacked, but Drift fills Magnus- and the reader- in on the bad-assery he witnessed back in the Drift miniseries.

It’s later now, and Tailgate’s ceremony is about to start. In the audience, Jackpot takes bets on how long it’ll take for Rodimus to say the Thing, and Whirl confides in First Aid about the graffiti he left inside Ultra Magnus. Wonder what sort of violation that is. Defacement of personal property? Medical malpractice? Assault?

Rodimus kicks things off, Whirl wins a bet, and we get word that all the dead bodies they just keep stacked up in the medibay started moving and clutching at their heads as if in pain. Apparently First Aid doesn’t know proper ceremony etiquette, because he’s fully leaned over the seat in front of him, in a crowd that honestly isn’t nearly big enough to hide what he’s doing, to whisper to Skids about the whole thing.

Well well well, if it isn’t Mr. Grumpypants himself watching from the wings. Glad you could not-join the party, you night-creature. If you’re attempting to be a nice person, Cyclonus, the person you’re attempting to be nice to needs to be aware of it.

Rodimus makes his speech, reflects on his own right of Autobrand, and Tailgate gets his very own temporary Autobot badge.

Or not.

Rodimus, who didn’t mean to fuck up Tailgate’s paint, doesn’t even know what he just did. Rewind steps in to translate the gobbledygook, while Tailgate has a minor crisis over his ruined beauty, saying that it’s Old Cybertronian for “let me out.” Drift and Ratchet run out of the white void behind the stage, both touting their own theories on what just happened, and both at odds with one another. Skids interrupts the debate of science vs religion before it can start, stating that Swerve’s on the horn about that Duobot not being dead.

Ore being alive poses a problem, because he’s still stuffed into the quantum drive, and if he freaks out he could set the thing off and having them bouncing all over space. They just got to Theophany, home of the Circle of Light, so bouncing around would be really inconvenient.

But wait, there’s more! The Galactic Council has come calling, wanting to know just what the hell everyone’s favorite war-mongering race is doing on their turf. Rodimus is a rude little shit, because bonding with the Matrix doesn’t really do much for your skills in traversing delicate political situations. Luckily, Magnus steps in before Rodimus can cause a galactic incident.

Magnus, because he’s the Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord- Tyrest being seen as a neutral party by both the Cybetronians and the Galactic Council- is received much more warmly by such a bureaucratic organization. They have what might be considered playful banter to them, and an agreement is reached.

Ooh, that’s a spicy take there, Rodimus!

We get a brief explanation of what exactly the Galactic Council is- a coalition of sentient races who organize treaties between species and police the galaxy in an attempt to keep the peace. Obviously, they don’t much care for the Transformers.

Before we can get terribly deep into the history of galactic politics, there’s a bright flash of light that consumes Rodimus-

-and we cut over to Swerve and his zombie pal.

Hey, who wants to see some high-level self-sabotage of one’s sense of worth? Because if you do, you’re in luck, because Swerve’s apparently got it down to a fine art. After failing to identify himself, Ore- who cannot see or feel anything at present- thinks that he’s speaking with Pipes, and Swerve proceeds to offer up that thing that happened in issue #6 on a silver platter to the guy who apparently doesn’t like him a whole lot already.

Swerve, please, practice a little self-love, my dude. Don’t subject yourself to this.

Down on Theophany, the boys are driving towards Crystal City, and are none-too-impressed by what they find.

Rewind, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t do that, it’s been established.

It’s looking like Crystal City’s been proper fucked, and Drift’s none too happy about it.

Back over at the pity-party, Swerve’s ruminating on the difference between peace and happiness, and how he doesn’t think he’s cut out for either of them. Ore adds that they’ve only just ended the war, and it may take some time to settle into the new normal. Swerve worries that he’s wasting his bold new tomorrow by playing pranks on Red Alert when he could be using his medical degree for something useful and important. Poor Swerve, caught in the trap of “you’re only worth something if you’re productive”. We’ve all been there, man.

Because it’s trauma, and you don’t owe anyone to be perfectly healthy and fine when you’re traumatized by warcrimes and atrocities! Every single member of the Cybertronian population is chock-full of trauma, and they need, just, so many more mental health services in order for it all to be processes and dealt with.

Also, Ore is very scary and bad to look at, so I’ve cut him out of the capture for this little bit of dialogue.

Back in Crystal City, the boys have made the rounds, and determined that a fight did indeed happen, but there aren’t any bodies to speak of. Odd, that. Drift is a little on edge, as he snaps at Rewind that he’ll cut his camera off of his head if he doesn’t shut up, then decks Whirl for playing the name game.

Then Drift gets mad at god, and things go about as well as you’d expect.

Later, bitches!

Over on the Benign Intervention, the Galactic Council ship, we see where Ultra Magnus’ gotten to, as he has a meeting with a representative. The Council is offering Magnus a seat at the table, because he’s about the only member of his race the Council respects.

Back with Drift, the lads have picked themselves up from the fall and have found themselves a nice little surprise.

Ratchet and Skids up there just straight-up disrespecting gravity. Can you tell I’m not a huge fan of the art here? Because I’m not.

The fellas climb up on this giant’s face, Swerve shows up for a panel, and Rodimus has everyone jump down the Metrotitan’s throat to go find the thing’s brain.

Lot of vore-adjacent action this issue. Gotta love an Annual.

Once inside, they find a very big brain, and Cyclonus reflects on his faith. See, back when Metrotitans weren’t so rare and Cyclonus hadn’t spent 6 million years in the Dead Universe, he would worship in their shadow. Rewind, because he’s a history nerd, asks for a taste of that action, and Cyclonus indulges him, probably because he’s once again realized that he misses connecting with other people, and still doesn’t know how to handle the Tailgate thing.

This is where the Guido Guidi art kicks in, and it’s so friggin’ pretty. So pretty, in fact, you might almost miss Roberts slipping this into the lore dump.

An urgency, you say, which- stop me if I’m wrong- resulted in the creation of life.

Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

Anyway, this is where the Guiding Hand came to be- the five gods of Cybertron.

Now, back in The Death of Optimus Prime, it was established that the Guiding Hand were ancient, lost knowledge, only known to the Matrix and its bearer. Cyclonus is really fucking old, but I’m thinking that this discrepancy is simply a case of early-installment weirdness that’s now being rectified, so it isn’t too odd when members of the crew are revealed to have faith.

So the gods hung out, made a bunch of babies asexually, gave them the gifts of thought and feeling and being able to turn into tanks and shit, and it was pretty sweet for a while.

The Mortilus got a bug up his butt about killing things, and the Transformers found their true purpose in the universe- war. Mortilus was eventually defeated, but only after every other member of the Guiding Hand had been reduced to abstract sculpture art; Primus became Vector Sigma, Solomus became the Matrix- which, considering what happened to that thing prior to MTMTE, uh, yikes- and Epistemus and Adaptus became the basis on which the modern t-cog and brain module were built.

Because the god of death is no more, the Transformers were made immortal, which explains why it takes so much to fucking kill them. A bunch of the first generation of Transformers decided to fuck off into space to spread the good word about their pretty-much-dead gods, coming to be known at the Knights of Cybertron. The end!

Ratchet doesn’t appreciate the tale that Cyclonus just told, because Real Atheist Hours are 24/7 for him, and that fight that Skids managed to put a stop to starts up again.

Then Drift brandishes a sword a Ratchet, because this is how we deal with our problems when we’re Drift, and hiding behind a façade of being a happy-go-lucky flowerchild fails. Rodimus breaks the two of them up before someone gets stabbed, and drags Drift away as Chromedome sets up to do his thing on a brain the size of a school bus.

Skids comes up and starts chatting him up, and Chromedome reveals a little bit about himself as a person.

Chromedome, I’m happy that you found someone you love who loves you just as much, but I’ll go ahead and say it- I don’t think telling the dude with short-to-midterm memory loss to look for a relationship is the hottest idea you’ve ever had.

In a place that isn’t the inside of the Metrotitan’s skull, Drift asks Rodimus about his faith. Rodimus is a believer, then proceeds to put the guy on a pedestal as he make the claim that “everything will depend on him.”

Then Chromedome stabs his needly little fingers into a giant brain- much to Rewind’s chagrin- and all hell breaks loose.

Oh man, y’all are going to double space-prison for that one.

Magnus’ meeting gets interrupted, of course, and the Council’s automatic response is to assume they’re being attacked, and they break out the big guns to take down to the planet’s surface. Magnus, seeing the writing on the wall, teleports back over to the Lost Light awith the intent to call Rodimus to try and see just what’s happening now, when the entirety of the ship is encased in a forcefield, and not one courtesy of Trailcutter.

Back planetside, Chromedome’s flat on his back as he explains that the Metrotitan is screaming its friggin’ head off in a frequency they can’t hear, mad as hell that it can’t answer the call of Vector Sigma to come home. This frequency can also apparently raise the dead, and do a bunch of other really weird shit. Chromdome wants to dive back in.

Chromedome, are you sure that statement about being suicidal should have been past-tense?

The whole planet is a-rockin’ and a-shakin’, as the Council troops make their way towards our dear friends. Rodimus, thinking quickly, orders Whirl to take a few friends and keep the Council busy while Chromedome wraps up. Rodimus wants all that good, good Cybertronian history, and figures that they need to rip it all out of the Metrotitan’s brain while he’s still kicking. Brainstorm offers to shrink the guy, seeing as he brought along his mass-displacement gun, but Rodimus seems intent on using the method that could kill Chromedome and might not even get them what they need before the Metrotitan dies.

Before a decision can be reached, Ultra Magnus gets through to Rodimus. Turns out that forcefield the Lost Light’s in is an incineration shell, and things are about to get spicy for everyone on board. Said shell is also draining the power cells, so they can’t quantum jump to safety. Rodimus has an idea though.

Over with Swerve and Ore, the conversation turns to religion. Swerve is a man of faith, whereas Ore has a much more straightforward view of life- you live, and it’s odd and wonderful and terrible, and when you die that’s it. Ore does not believe in the afterlife, and believes that what you get is what you get.

This is about the time that Rodimus calls Swerve to have him set off the quantum drive by killing Ore via shock, by telling him the truth about his predicament.

Swerve just shoved those orders so far up Rodimus’ ass, he’ll probably blow them out of his nose in a minute.

So, the Lost Light’s done for, thanks to the power of standing up for yourself. I guess Scott Pilgrim got that one wrong. Chromedome asks Rodimus what he wants to do with the Metrotitan, and Rodimus says to let him free.

And then everyone died. That’s a series wrap, folks!

What do you mean we’ve got 49 more issues? Okay, let’s see where this goes.

So Brainstorm blasts the brain, everyone is enveloped in a bright light, and we smash-cut to Swerve talking at Rung’s headless body in the medibay, as he recounts the outright religious experience he had.

Ore’s gone, and Swerve believes that Primus came and took him to the Afterspark, the Cybertronian afterlife, and so it was that Swerve’s faith was strengthened.

Over in Rodimus’ office, we tear down that miracle with some equally unrealistic sci-fi bullshit. Brainstorm’s mass-displacement shrunk the Metrotitan down enough to allow himself to teleport, and some theorized psychic link with Ore allowed the Lost Light to piggyback to safety.

Still no clues as to what happened to the Circle of Light, though, which is troublesome. Probably kidnapped, or some such. Going off of that hunch, the Lost Light will be following some reports on Decepticon activity- because we haven’t gotten to the point of nuance with our former enemies just yet.

Rodimus has decided that winging things isn’t really working out like he’d like it to, so he’s going to try to be a better captain. Which, y’know, thank god. Let’s make an effort to keep everyone kicking.

We get a brief flashback to just what happened during Magnus’ meeting with the Galactic Council, and as it turns out, he turned down their offer, saying that he was needed on the Lost Light.

The Council is disappointed by his decision.

Oh well dang, I wonder who that mysterious figure could possibly be. Surely he will in no way factor into the entirety of every single problem ever faced or made by the planet of Cybertron and the galaxy it resides in. Oh, surely not.

While I got you here, let’s take a gander at the section blurbs.

We’re getting yet more mindsets about god and faith, from folks not in the narrative but adjacent to it. Alpha Trion is a well-respected, learned robot who has no doubt spent a vast majority of his time taking in literature and theory on the subject of religion. In contrast, we have Beachcomber, who in this particular continuity doesn’t have a ton of characterization, but does seem to be pulling from his hippy-dippy persona from the ‘80s cartoon at least a little for his excerpt here. New-age, we’ll call him.

And then there’s Megatron, who’s just straight-up torn the cover off of Karl Marx’s A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right and is trying to pass it off as his own, but let’s look more at the actual meaning of such a quote.

Now the problem with that is, much like in real life, we aren’t seeing the entirety of the quote, instead having only kept the last little bit to play with. 

"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people".

Now, for Megatron here, we should assume that the front-end of this quote from Marx isn’t applicable, seeing as we seem to be operating as if it doesn’t exist. 

So, “Religion is the opium/engex of the people.” It’s a comfort, a drug, something to keep one docile. We’ll see the logical conclusion to such a mindset much later on in the series. As is, it gives us another glimpse at the creature that is pre-war Megatron. 

And now you know why the Annual subtitle was Primus: You, Me, and Other Revelations.

[returnn-of-the-mac]

I love the way you write the companions! Especially X6! Companions react to Sole giving them nicknames based on pre-war movies?

Thank you! X6 is one of my favorite characters to write (along with Ada and Danse)! Sorry this took so long, there were a few characters I struggled with (looking @u gage & preston). Also, again, I usually write a silent Sole, but I couldn’t for this one, obviously. Please enjoy!😄

Fo4 Companions React: Sole Giving Them Pre-War Movie Nicknames

Strong:

Strong and Sole where walking around Sanctuary when the super mutant heard rustling in the bushes.

“COME OUT, PUNY RADROACH! STRONG SMASH YOU INTO THE GROUND!”

Sole smirked, “Easy there, Hulk. It’s just Dogmeat.”

Strong scratched his head, “Who Hulk? He a Radroach?”

Danse:

Sole was in Danse’s quarters as the Paladin was trying on some new patriotic power armor he had designed. He stepped out in his red, white, and blue mechanical suit and twisted around a bit to show Sole.

“What do you think,” He asked, “Is it too much?”

Sole giggled, “You kinda look like Optimus Prime.”

“You mean Liberty Prime?”

“Nope. I mean Optimus Prime. He’s a Cybertronian from a pre-war movie called Transformers.” Sole explained.

“Cybertron? Is that like a synth,” Danse scoffed, “Cuz I’d be damned if I looked like a synth.”

“Well, no. Cybertron is the planet they’re from. It’s complicated, but it’s basically a fictional species of robots that can transform from ordinary objects. Like cars.”

A confused Danse gave his companion an acknowledging nod, “Ah, okay. That actually sounds pretty interesting. Maybe the Brotherhood could start crafting armor based off of these ...uh...’Cybertronians.’ You’re going to have to show me sometime, soldier.”

Nick:

“Hmm...” Nick pondered, looking over his latest case, “This Marowski fellow seems to be up to no good, yet again. His chem lab is more secure this time too...I’m thinking we’re going to have to tinker around with some scrap and invent a device to break into there undetected.”

“And what do you suggest we create, Inspector Gadget?”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. Very funny. I happen to who that is, you know.”

MacCready:

MacCready and Sole where camping out at Outpost Zimonja for the night, lying under the stars, next to a campfire.

“You know what stinks,” Macready began, “Being an adult. So much is expected of you, and all the other adults are all just a buncha bullies.”

Sole gazed at their companion and he continued, “I swear, the kids at Little Lamplight were more mature than at least half the mungos in the Commonwealth. I wish I’d never had grown up...I wish I could’ve stayed a kid forever.”

“Okay, Peter Pan,” Sole laughed, “Growing up is a part of life. Everyone goes through it. Society wouldn’t thrive if people didn’t get older.”

MacCready was still caught up on the first part of Sole’s statement. “Peter...who? Who’s that?”

“Peter Pan. He was a mythical boy who never grew up, and he lead a group called The Lost Boys in Neverland. They’d go on adventures and stuff. It was a story that got adapted into a popular pre-war movie,” Sole explained.

MacCready was captivated by the description. “That seems...awesome, actually! Can you tell me more about it?”

Ada:

Sole and Ada were trekking through the wilderness just beyond the glowing sea when a RadStrorm hit. Adamant about making it to their destination, Sole continued to their journey, despite the wind, rain, and rads.

“[Sir/Ma’am],” Ada beckoned, “Being that I am non-organic, these rads don’t have an effect on me. You, however, might get sick if we continue.”

Sole ignored Ada and continued to press forward. Ada tried again.

“[Sir/Ma’am]? It is highly likely that you will not be able to successfully complete your mission if you were to fall ill.”

Sole, once again, ignored their companion and continued forward. Ada, ardent about keeping her companion healthy, tried a third time.

“[Sir/Ma’am]? I believe I saw an abandoned barn a few miles back. We could camp there for the night.”

Sole stopped and gave Ada a stern look. “C-3PO. Please. Be quiet for just a minute. I can’t even hear myself think.”

Ada beeped a few times. “I am unfamiliar who this model C-3-P-O is. My model number A-D-4.”

Piper:

“Okay, look. I think we’re really gonna get him this time, Blue,” Piper began, peeking through her binoculars at an unsuspecting Mayor McDonough, “Oh! Oh! Look! He put the toilet paper on the holder flap-side-up. Mm-hmm. Definitely a synth.”

Sole raised an eyebrow, “And what’s your master plan here? We gonna break in there and catch him in the act of changing his toilet paper, Lucy Stevens? Kinda not a good look.”

Piper cocked her head to the side, “Lucy...Stevens? Who’s that?”

Sole giggled, “She’s a reporter from one of my favorite pre-war movies.”

Piper smirked, “And what movie would that be?”

“Detective Pikachu.”

Gage:

Sole and Gage were building a raider base when suddenly Gage stopped hammering.

“Hey, got any more nails over there? Can’t see for shit with this eyepatch.”

Sole rolled their eyes and handed the raider the container of nails, “Why don’t you just take it off then? I know you have a fully-functional eyeball under there.”

“Yeah but it’s part of the image.”

“Alright, One-eyed Willie.”

“The fuck is that?” Gage asked, “You pickin on me, boss?”

Hancock:

Hancock and Sole were hanging out in Hancock’s quarters listening to the radio, taking hits of jet, and drinking whiskey.

“This is niice,” Hancock mused, taking a long hit of jet, “Sometimes ya need a break from running the city, yanno?”

Sole nodded.

Suddenly, the song changed and Hancock grunted. “I hate this one. It kills the vibe in here.”

As he got up to change the station, drink in hand, a random Goodneighbor resident barreled into the room, nearly knocking the mayor over.

“Woah, friend, I’ve got a beverage here.” It was then the ghoul noticed he had spilled his drink all over himself and the rug. “Ah, come on, brother. That was a new rug.”

“Easy there, Lebowski,” Sole consoled, standing up and putting a hand on their companion’s shoulder, “Whiskey shouldn’t be too difficult to clean off a rug.”

“Sorry Hancock,” the resident apologized, “But your friend here is right. I mean it is practically water.”

Cait:

Cait and Sole were crouched behind a stack of boxes, fully prepared to ambush a group of raiders who were holding an innocent settler hostage.

“Can’t wait to use this new machete ye gave me,” Cait gushed, excitedly studying the weapon, “Never have had the chance to use one of these before.”

Sole smiled.

“Ready darlin?”

“Ready.”

The pair sprung out from their hiding spot and began their onslaught. Sole took cover behind an old desk, shooting at the raiders with ease and Cait decapitated them with her machete.

“I’m just gettin warmed up, ye clowns!”

The redhead suddenly ran up a side wall and did a flip, slicing two raiders heads off at the same time. Sole lowered their weapon and watched in awe as their partner singlehandedly decimated the raiders with her melee weapon. When the last raider was taken out, Cait took a little bow.

“Damn, Uma Thurman! Leave some for me next time,” Sole joked.

“Couldn’t help it. This machete is way too much fun.”

Deacon:

Deacon and Sole were hiding in an air vent, preparing to take out some synths as asked by Drummer Boy, when Deacon started fumbling around.

“What are you doing?” Sole whispered harshly, annoyed by their partner’s commotion.

“I’m due for an image change,” Deacon answered matter-of-factly, taking his shirt off, “I’ve been in my Elvis Presley Wannabe disguise for two hours now.”

Sole clenched their teeth in frustration.

“What do you think I should go for? The intelligent Bald Doc or intimidating Street Punk?”

“How about the bumbling Austin Powers?”

Deacon chuckled, “Yeah bAbY! I’m flattered you would even suggest that. Such a cool character.”

Sole rolled their eyes as Deacon began to dress as the iconic British spy.

Curie:

Curie and Sole were walking along the coast of Salem when the synth suddenly stopped. Sole turned around, concerned.

“You okay, Curie?”

The synth looked at Sole and smiled. “Oui. I was just thinking...thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to exist in human form.”

“No problem! I’m just glad you’re happy.”

Curie nodded, “It’s not like I wasn’t happy being in my old body it’s just...I can do so much more now in this new body. Do field work, collaborate, share my findings and be taken seriously. That and...this body is very flattering. Much more attractive than metal and bolts.”

Sole laughed, “Hey, I thought your EVE form was adorable.”

“Eve? Who is that?”

“She was a character— a robot— from a pre-war movie called WALL-E.”

“I see...well, that is very interesting, [Madame/Monsieur]!”

Longfellow:

“Damn snow. I hate the North. Move me to the tropics,” Longfellow complained as he and Sole walked through a light snow flurry.

“It’s not even that bad,” Sole reassured, “Besides, what would Christmas be without snow?”

“I don’t care about Christmas. Got no family to celebrate it with anyway.”

“Oh come on, Scrooge,” Sole teased, “We can celebrate Christmas together if you want.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I am old Ebenezer. Bah humbug,” Longfellow grumpily muttered, taking a shot of whiskey.

X6-88:

X6 and Sole were on a mission tag a synth with a tracking beacon when Sole suddenly stopped.

“Is something wrong, [sir/ma’am]?” the synth asked, concerned.

“No it’s just...what would you look like without your glasses? I’ve never seen you take them off. Do you even have eyes under there?”

X6 nodded, “Of course I have eyes. The glasses make me look slick. More professional, if you will.”

“You look like Morpheus from The Matrix.”

“And he was an influential individual, was he not?”

Sole remained silent.

“Case in point, [sir/ma’am].”

Preston:

Sole had just returned to Sanctuary after a lengthy fight with some gunners with Preston beckoned to them.

“Another settlement needs our help,” he began, “The settlers at Nordhagen beach are complaining about a wobbly chair and—“

Sole raised their hand in the air, “Do it yourself, Fix-it-Felix,” they mumbled before retreating to their room for a nap.

Codsworth:

Sole and Codsworth were in their old house, assembling furniture and reminiscing about the past.

“This was such a happy home before the bombs dropped. I wish we could go back to it, [sir/mum].”

Sole nodded in agreement as they discovered old photographs in cracked frames. Codsworth hovered over to examine Sole’s finding.

“Ah! That photograph! That was the first day you adopted me,” the robot gushed, “I’m so glad you chose the name Codsworth and not any of the absurd names the [hubby/wife] was suggesting.”

Sole laughed, “But Codsworth was their idea! I was going to name you BB-8.”

“Seriously? Why? Just because I’m round and I’m a robot?”

“Exactly!”

Codsworth huffed in annoyance and floated away from an amused Sole.

[geek-gem]

I've seen Bumblebee again

Edit I've just realized I made the stupid mistake I had seen as seem and I only noticed it in my activity messages stupid of me sorry.

So in this post there is gonna be spoilers about the film, especially I'm gonna be rambling a bunch, I'm gonna sound ignorant. Including this is coming from a ex Transformers fan. Who has feelings about this franchise.

Well first film I've seen of 2019 everybody. I still like the film a lot. Just walked to this McDonald's near the cinema 16 theater in Sierra Vista.

But yes I like this film a lot and decided to see the 11:50 am showing instead of the 10:50 am because I decided not to take the chance because it was too close at that time.

Let me talk about some stuff. I literally feel like this is a reboot because a lot of the stuff in this doesn't make sense. Or what someone else said a soft reboot but I literally feel like how this film was set up. Decided to move to a table I'm usually at.

Because okay I never seen The Last Knight and mainly don't want to. But considering past events like Megatron stuck in the artic(the original 2007 film), the Primes and the Fallen(Revenge Of The Fallen), the Ark(Dark Of The Moon), possibly even the creators shit(Age Of Extinction), and what I've read and heard Unicron is Earth, Bumblebee even in a poster and footage from a trailer or promo was around during world war 2.

Including I haven't watched the video by HN Entertainment but just looked it up there was a Megatron deleted scene.

Even though one of the final scenes is Bumblebee becoming a camero I can't think I feel during production because of how The Last Knight's box office result went Hasbro did it or whatever. I'm not trying to make up a story it's my own theory. Especially the style of how the robots look so G1 like.

Especially that final mid credits scene with Bumblebee and Optimus I honestly feel that was shot to basically reboot the film franchise of when the Autobots came to Earth. Unless they got off later it's all bullshit.

This film is a reboot or whatever.

Unless some how even the idea and I'll talk about some Days Of Future Past stuff happened. I should just talk about the movie.

I honestly feel the best thing about this movie was Charlie's and Bumblebee's relationship. Because I seriously feel emotional about it and how well developed it is. Even though I understand the criticisms about this film being cliche I understand. Yet I feel it works because of how the movie is set up.

Really over time I'm having this big liking towards Haliee Steinfeld I really do. Honestly the rest of the cast is good too still. I still like John Cena and especially the character of Memo. Very likable even though really the only reviews I've seen are Ragin Nation and FilmJunkee.

Had to go to Google then Wikipedia to spell his name right.

Especially seeing on news on Google Screen Rant made a news article 3 hours ago about how the post looked back at it they call it a post credits scene it was a mid credits scene about how it retcons Michael Bay's Transformers. No shit is does because I literally feel they did it they did that to reboot the Bayformers universe. Ether it was Travis Knight or someone told Travis hey man can you put this scene in the movie or some one did.

Really one character I didn't like was this Tina bitch. Seriously I remember the first time and even watching this the 2nd time. This blonde bitch I'm surprised during that cliff scene Bumblebee didn't roll up the window to hurt her arm or even open the door to push her. Or hell I'm surprised Charlie didn't even get violent.

Yet really glad her car was totaled.

In fact it's weird watching this film I wanna be honest. I am so used to the harshness of the Bayformers. Because I feel like in certain scenes I expect Charlie to say, "FUCK YOU!" to some of the characters. Especially the action.

I'll be honest the Bayformers films mainly that 4th drove me off of and even the 5th despite I never seen it. I'm a ex fan yet I like other parts of the franchise.

But I like the action. Yes Michael Bay's action scenes aren't the best and I guess the best way you can call them a mess. I like the set pieces. Seriously I basically grew up with those first three films.

I still like the first that film got me to become a Transformers fan I saw it four times, the 4th time being the Imax release. Because of Bumblebee to be honest it was weird for this film not be PG-13 but it's great.

Yet I weirdly want another big Transformers film that has this heart this film had.

Or just the idea of such a film like that. You know how fucking beautiful those The Last Knight trailers are they are fucking amazing until you hear the films reception.

Especially I've talked about how I would love to see Charlie again grown up. I want her to be a protagonist in one of those films. She's older in her early 50's sorry to say well she was born in 1969. I just want to see her and Bumblebee again. Especially while before I got to think more about how this is a reboot. Yeah also Agent Jack Burns and Memo if you want especially more development on him.

Remember that old idea I've talked about what if we had a movie where the rebooted movie verse met the dimension of the Bayformers. In the end the Bayformers dimension dies like a passing the torch thing. Including shit like now it's like a grown up Charlie meets Cade Yager and Sam Witwicky.

But really I feel like considering the last few movies Shia Labeouf might not wanna come back, including Mark Wahlberg because he said The Last Knight was his last Transformers film. Yet I feel with how this film changed the timeline, I don't think that's gonna happen.

God I'm seriously interested in what's next.

So I see and it's on Google the screen writer for this film has an idea for a sequel. Fucking fabulous, because I want one. I went to see this again because I'm worried it's failing. There is so much good shit out right now but some movies aren't getting money. Yet I don't wanna say they are bombing like but 3 Buck Theater made a video about this and I see a thumbnail by Ragin Nation this is a bomb please no.

I want a big Transformers film that is better then the Bayformers films. Including I wanna be excited for Transformers again and this film made me happy. I'm excited for whatever films comes next. Probably the 6th or even that Cybertron prequel because seeing those Cybertron parts was fucking awesome.

Can I just say Shatter and Dropkick are a nice antagonist duo. Considering the film was more simple then the others. They we're nice antagonists. While not like Megatron or whatever else had to go to the Wikipedia page of this movie to see their names in case. Yet yeah their different and cool.

Also when we get more and better Transformers films can we have a better version of Grimlock my favorite? Voiced by Gregg Berger had to Google search him up I got his name right but his first name has two g's. Can we have a version of Grimlock like Fall Of Cybertron portrayed him and what I've heard of the G1 comics please can we have that. Because that version would make more sense then the development Optimus had in the 4th movie and would fit Grimlock better. Especially what I hear about the 5th movie. Sorry if I'm rambling.

Especially I weirdly want Charlie to interact with a angry stubborn Grimlock who thinks his way of handling things are better.

Tags dealt with but I think I've said all that I might of wanted to say or something. Really do like the movie and want more films but hopefully and I don't wanna stress Travis Knight but can he be involved still some how. I mean these films can be big so I don't wanna have him stressed out. But can we have more directors like him or something.

Edit(I did a lot for this but taking off the edit mentions like 4th) forgot this like this whole thing this reunion of characters it's like the Infinity War of Transformers which okay and I just thought a few seconds ago before editing this. I'd rather have that big some what Infinity War event be a different version of Unicron who's not Earth instead he's his own planet who wants to eat Earth and basically humans, Autobots, and Decepticons have to team up to stop him I'd rather have that. Been wanting that for years ever since they were promoting the 2nd movie. or just whatever bring more awesome movies like this especially big ones too.

okay I added Jack Burns tag because I liked him as a character. But I didn't wanna leave Memo yet he doesn't have a last name and I feel it be weird if that was just his tag. Especially someone put a Jack Burns tag and yeah I wanna see John Cena again. That may sound weird but I liked his character too.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 7: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: What Transformers would you want to see on Nailed It?

O: Uh, Thundercracker and-

Together: Skywarp

O: And then, of course, they're like what the fuck do we do with money?

[Intro music]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon! I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 7, Fire in the Sky. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yep!

O: So last time on the Transformers: Optimus nearly dies, again.

S: Again.

O:  Again. Chip goes to Cybertron and shows surprising resistance to acid rain, unlike the robots and Shockwave can't hit shit.

S: There may or may not have been dancing involved.

O: Indeed.

S: [Laughter]

O: Regardless, back at the Ark, it's snowing!

S: The robots appear to be having fun with Spike.

O: And then Jazz was pretending to be a snowman to surprise Spike.

S: Oh god, did the other Autobots just go and dump snow on him? [Laughter] But oh god, yeah, Jazz continues to prove to be delightful.  How long was he standing like that? Do you think he had the other Autobots, ah,  put all that snow on him?

O: God, I hope so! [Laughter]

S: Then a snowball fight breaks out, Jazz gets buried in the snow again. It's snow fair!

O: Be afraid! The snow puns are here!

S: So many snow puns.

O: Anyway Bumblebee almost kills Spike with a freakin’ snow boulder!

S: And somehow this cumulates- that feels like a weird snow pun.

O: [Laughter] Cumulus, if you will.

S: Yes, with Spike rolling down a hill, um, into more of a ball and consuming three Autobots in rolling snowy terror.

O: They’re all fine after this! Including Spike who was in this, like, boulder sized snowball thing and hit three robots!

S: How the hell didn't he get splatted? Also there's cactuses and a palm tree involved, in Oregon.

O: Now, ladies and gentlemen, coming to you from the Pacific Northwest there are not cacti and palm trees here, ok?

S: Especially since that area would be, um, like it would be at least semi-arid but it- yeah, no, cacti.

O: There would be no cacti.

S: No palm trees.

O: Meanwhile, Optimus Prime investigates the weird-ass weather. Apparently all the heat from the Earth's core is being drained.

S: I guess the people of Alaska and Russia are are just, um, dead.

O: Yeah, they, like, say it dropped by X number of degrees, and we’re like, oh boy, everybody must be dead. Cool. Anyway, you’ll be surprised who's behind this nefarious plot.

S: Anyway in the Arctic, green crystals erupt from the ground and somehow the Decepticons are draining the heat from the Earth's core by draining this crystal thing?

O: No, we don't get it either, but that's what they're doing. Uh, so we the cut to Rumble who's pounding through ice and somehow causes an underground avalanche sort of thing?

S: Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. And afterwards Skywarp and Rumble come across a dead body. [Laughter]

O: Well they nearly dead, anyway.

S: Apparently this is just a giant, freaking robot.

O: Like, bigger than Megatron or Optimus! That much bigger. So Megatron is delighted by this find because he's like, “I have more cannon fodder to toss at the Autobots!”

S: And Teletraan 1 is able to pinpoint the Decepticons’ activity in the Arctic except it's like they're panning over and panning over and they completely bypass the freaking green rock and then it's like, “Hey! Go back to that thing!”

O: [Laughter] Wait, that might have been important!

S: Yeah, and so the Autobots roll out!

O: Ratchet apparently catches up later since he's not seen leaving the Ark with everyone else, and I believe this also happens with a few other characters, um.

S: I don't remember who.

O: It's- god, it's not Huffer.

S: Hound?

O: No, no my brains going Wheelie--

S: [Laughter}

O:  --and he doesn’t show up till the movie

S: Cliffjumper?

O: No! No, no, no, uh. He's annoying, he's a jerk. Gears! I want to say like Gears and Bumblebee also maybe don't show up and I don't remember. I just know like a bunch of Autobots that you don't see leaving also show up in the Arctic with them.

S:  I don't remember who was there at all, but I guess Ratchet decided to hussle his hoofies [Laughter]

O: [Laughter] Apparently.

S: And back with our favorite energy stealing bastards! The new Transformer is being repaired by the Seekers and Soundwave, with Megatron supervising because apparently he just likes doing that.

O:  Elsewhere in the multiverse IDW Megs, act-actually a goddamn medic and Captain of the Lost Light has a conniption about his useless G1 counterpart. Also our bad, it's Soundwave and all the Seekers doing the repairing here, not just Soundwave and Starscream. So apparently robots have a concept of freshness as Thundercracker comments on how being on ice kept it fresh. While, they continue to repair the big guy.

S: Do- do they like their Energon fresh? Or can they have, like, fine vintage aged Energon?

O: No clue, but apparently Starscream knows this guy and I swear to god--Megs is giving Starscream a look that's like, “What do you mean this is your ex?”

S: Anyway, big guy's name is Skyfire and he's a scientist.

O: Which we’ll see more shortly but uh so while working on Skyfire, Soundwave spins his arm into like an energy projectile cannon that's apparently their version of a freaking defibrillator.

S: I don't think we ever see it again.

O:  it looks really weird!

S: It just spins into existence. Why? Meanwhile, Starscream explains that himself and Skyfire were scientists that were exploring earth millions and millions of years ago and Skyfire got lost in the storm because-

O: So--this is the most concern we ever see from Starscream for anyone other than himself like EVER.

S: Yeah.

O: But about this flashback. So a couple of things, um, we see Skyfire and Starscream flying in space. This means their jet forms are spaceworthy, apparently. What.

S: Well, I mean, we later see Starscream flying in space with Shockwave riding him at some point.

O: Oh god.

S: Like he just picks up Shockwave off a freaking a meteor or something? If I’m remembering properly.

O: I don't even. Um, Starscream should be a pyramid jet here because the flashback takes place way before the start of the series but he’s still an earth jet, like millions of millions of years before jets existed.

S: He wanted to be fashionable in this flashback.

O: Apparently. It was edited! He edited the flashback.  Uh, so the continents that we see on Earth should not look like this they look like modern-day Earth and maybe they wouldn't be like full-on Pangaea as one mass but they definitely shouldn't be in their modern-day configurations.

S: Yeah, and also it's super weird because this is playing from Skyfire’s of memory thingy in his head? But everything is in third person and Skyfire is visible in all the shots.

O: So does he have a camera crew following him around, you think?

S: Maybe? I mean shoot maybe at one point he had a stupid little drone that followed them around like IDW Jetfire and it just gave him footage, I don’t know.

O: Okay, he is definitely Starscream’s ex, this poor guy is way too happy to see Screamer when he wakes up.

S: And Megatron basically says, “Welp, you're a Decepticon now. Don't suck at it!”

O: Or, you know, you're gonna die. Skyfire is kind of hesitant to fight because he's a scientist and not a warrior

S: Like, he wants to study stuff, not kill shit. And later Starscream tells Skyfire that, “He, Starscream, would be in command of the Decepticons,” eventually and then Skyfire will be Second-in-command.

O: Oh boy, oh boy. Eh, Skyfire doesn't really get what's going on right now because he's been out of commission for like a zillion years but he's trying real hard.

S: Poor dude but yeah.

O:  So the Autobots show up and Skyfire, thinking they’re enemies, fires on them, because he's been told they're bad guys.

S: He is obedient, I guess. And a fight breaks out basically ending in Skyfire accidentally kidnapping Spike and Sparkplug for their own good after they basically get marooned on a little ice flow.

O: He’s legitimately like, “Oh no! Why are you guys scared, you’ve got nothing to fear, we’re the good guys.”

S: Cuz, he’s like, “Yeah, I'm not gonna hurt you!”

O: Yeah-

S: It's not gonna work out, buddy. Naturally, he brings them to Megatron and Starscream.

O: This goes about as well as you'd expect.

S: Like a lead balloon [sound effect] straight down.

O: So both humans have been tossed in an ice cage.

S: That's not gonna end well for anybody.

O: No. Hypothermia will be your gift.

S: Starscream and Megatron chastise Skyfire for being nice to the flesh creatures.

O: Skyfire has known these guys for all of five seconds and he calls them his friends. Please, please, someone give this robot a hug? This guy deserves a hug!

S: He deserves so much more than he so much better than, well, what he gets from the Decepticons or the Autobots.

O: For that matter! Uh,. but Skyfire’s, like, I’m a scientist, not a warrior!

S: Oh my god, he literally channels Bones from Star Trek.

O: Kind of! The Autobots falling behind in an attempt to save their favorite squishies.

S: And thus begins the wonder of Optimus Prime's inconsistently disappearing trailer. Outside the cave, no trailer. Inside the cave, you got a trailer.

O: And that'll happen multiple times. Anyway, Gears stops, like dumbass, causing Ironhide, Hound, Ratchet, and Gears to fall through ice.

S: Into the nice little ice hole.

O: Apparently. Back to Optimus! Because we're gonna be swapping between three goddamn groups- three or four goddamn groups of people here. I'm not even exaggerating- back to Optimus, Bee, Jazz and Cliffjumper. Optimus’ trailer disappears again and they hear Spike and Sparkplug crying out for help.

S: And Bumblebee totally looks like he's levitating in this shot, I don't remember if it's because he's sort of in front of something that should be- be-

O:  In the foreground?

S: Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. Cliffjumper blasts the humans out of the cage, “Lucky for you my laser has a defrost cycle.” Why?

O: Please, name one other time in which that function was actually useful there Cliffjumper.

S:  I mean that would be useful for defrosting himself when he's outside in the winter but I mean you never see him use it again.

O: You see! Does Cybertron have ice? Why would he even have this!?!

S:  Well, considering that their planet doesn't revolve around a star and it's flying through space it's probably super friggin cold, but I don't know if-

O: Does that matter to them?

S: I don't remember, I feel like, well, in Prime it definitely matters.

O: Oh, yeah but it has to be like sub-zero temperatures.

S: And it matters in Rescue Bots, not sure about here. It doesn't appear to matter here soooo.

O: Prime and Rescue Bots are in the same continuity, though. So, Hound, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Gears spy on the Decepticons stealing heat from the Earth's core. They're promptly seen by Megatron because they're all terrible at hiding.

S: They’re super bad at it, god. Soundwave releases Ravage to scout for any additional Autobots.

O: Back with Optimus Prime because, again, we're swapping, oh, we're swapping so quickly here, folks.

S: Perspectives, point of views, who gives a damn.

O: The- this show- it can't focus. Anyway back with Optimus and the others, Jazz is using the unit of time astro-minutes.

S: At least he's not counting in astro-seconds?

O: Okay, but seriously if you want a good laugh go check out the TFWiki for units of time (we’ll link to it in the show notes). I swear so many of these units are just ??? on like what their actual real world measurement equivalent is. Like, even the fans don't know how long an orn or an astro-minute is and this is hilarious to me.

S:  Cuz the fandom’s been around for thirty years and, well, not necessarily fandom, but canon continuities keep coming up with stupid things to add and then not necessarily defining them.

O: Or it’s different between different continuities?

S: Yeah, Cliffjumper runs ahead like a dumbass

O: Again.

S: [Laughter] And is promptly tackled to the ground by Ravage and they escape having trapped Ravage “cold.”

O: Aaaaaah! Why do you guys do this to me?!

S: Cause they love fuckin puns- [Laughter] Cause they fucking love puns!

O: Anyway, they do this by burying him under ice and snow. Um, meanwhile Ratchet and the rest have been lined up firing squad style?

S: They- they don't even get any last requests.

O: This just in, the Decepticons are assholes!

S: Not like we're surprised, I mean.

O: Yeah, no, I mean they're all assholes.

S; Yeah. Skyfire’s like, “'I’m a scientist, not an executioner!” and this pisses off Starscream who shoots him.

O: Starscream then shoots the Autobots, causing them to explode and walks off without checking the fucking bodies.

S: That's not- you’re- You’re Megatron’s second-in-command, you should know better.

O: You should be more competent than this, bud. But anyway, surprise Hound hologram shenanigans.

S: Ho-lo-gram.

O: Hologram shenanigans.

S: So the Autobots are fine! But Skyfire’s not in good shape.

O: And then all the Autobots regroup and Ratchet attempts to save Skyfire and meanwhile Laserbeak is spying on the Autobots while they work

S: And we cut to Megatron who's holding an Energon cube and is gazing at an admiringly, like he's totally admiring his ill-gotten gains.

O: Are we sure he's not just staring at Starscream’s ass through that!?! I'm telling you he's just staring at Starscream’s ass!

S: He's admiring Starscream's lustrous finish [Laughter]

O: Anyway, he receives the transmission from Laserbeak about the Autobot activity and then promptly beans Starscream in the head with the Energon cube.

S: Starscream was clearly posing like a model when Megatron hits him so, I guess your theory regarding--

O: Staring at his ass.

S: I guess-

O: He Just wants to be pretty! And he wants his spouse to notice him, ok? “You disgust me!” exclaims Megatron as he yells at Starscream for not killing the Autobots like he freaking said he did!

S: And then the Seekers attack the Autobots I guess by strafing them, I don't know, while Ratchet continues to work on Skyfire

O: And this part cracks me up because the size difference between Skyfire and Ratchet- it looks like a toddler operating on an adult. Like, that is how much bigger Skyfire is been the rest of them.

S: Oh god, it would be even more pronounced if Ratchet was a minibot.

O: Oh my god! [Laughter] That’s a thought.

S: Yeah, yeah, and Optimus’ trailer appears out of nowhere because guess who gets to show up today! It’s Roller! To shoot at the Seekers. Yeah, and Roller shoots Skywarp in the butt, who thenrear-ends Thundercracker sending them both nose-first into the ocean.

O: Which basically puts them out of commission for the rest of the fight. I have to ask, ya think Megatron would, you know, send out  the cassettes here.  Who we have established are here! Rumble can fight, they’re on ice, it’s not like they couldn't break up the ground and send the Autobots into the water! We all know Optimus Prime cannot fucking swim.

S: Yeah, we've already seen that.

O: We'll see it again, actually, next episode where the Autobots cannot fucking swim.

S: [Laughter] Oh god, yeah, Megatron and Optimus fight with green crystal shards- got some amazing photos from this.

O: [Laughter] Which we will also post.  But, these silly crystal sound effects are clearly just two pipes being banged together here.

S: Bang, bang, bang, or bong or whatever, I don't think they used bong, they couldn't get bells or wind chimes or something?

O: Yeah, to make it sound kind of tinkly--no, it just sounds like you're banging two pipes together!

S: And Optimus grapples Megatron, lifting him up into the air and Megatron then rotates his lower body 180 degrees and lands behind Optimus, knocking him down. It's kind of amazing, honestly.

O: You’d think they do stuff like this more often since they’re, you know, robots--but they don’t.

S: I mean, if they actually made use of their whole, “Hey, we rotate to transform here.”

O: Yeah, like, cuz a lot of them do.

S: Yeah, uh, so while on his back cuz Optimus is knocked to the ground, he starts spinning his wrist really, really quickly? And makes- he- like a helicopter hand? That he just uses to toss Megatron behind him into an ice wall?

S: He's, like, spinning him on- it's like, he's still holding the weird crystal sword-

O: Yeah!

S: -Thingy and like, it spins and then sort of- Megatron’s- he's not levitated on it, but-

O: He, like, picks Megatron up with it?

S: It’s weird.

O: It's bizarre.

S: Yeah, it’s bizarre, but it got some really funny screencaps

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, really funny photos.

O: It was pretty funny looking.

S: Yeah, cuz, I was doing that janky thing where I just photos of your TV.

O: If you’re curious why our screenshots look the way they do, it’s because we’re taking literal pictures of my TV, mostly because we think it actually looks funnier than trying to screen cap them off the computer.

S: Yeah, it's got more- it's got more character.

O: More character. Look, we can't- we can't make it look as bad as the 80s, but we can certainly make it look worse. Okay, so Megaton orders Skyfire to kill the Autobots because Skyfire’s up  and about again Skyfire then promptly rips off his Decepticon symbol and pulls an Autobot badge out of fucking nowhere and just, like, sticks it on his chest. Where did he even get that? How do he even get that? Did Ratchet hand it to him after repairing him? Does Ratchet carry spares!?!

S: And why did his Decepticon symbol act like cloth?

O: Yeah, or a sticker or something? Like, what is it made out of?

S: Do they just carry, you know, do Decepticons just just carry stickers or symbols just to give people cuz...

O: Yeah, like, do both sides do this? They can’t- we don't see people swap like sides very often so this seems very strange, if they, like, carry around stickers.

S:  I mean, I guess, if we wanted, you know, some comparison we could look and see what Octane does cuz I think he changes sides, but that's neither here nor there let's get back to this.

O: [Laughter]

S: And Skyfire tosses Megs off into the distance- I don't actually remember this, so I don’t remember how impressive it is.

O: [Laughter] Skyfire does a lot of tossing over the next couple of minutes. Reflector also attempts to attack, as like a weird mobile robot pyramid, like there's two of them on the bottom carrying the other one. They also promptly get tossed.

S: Starscream attacks from the air, Skyfire takes off to follow him.

O: Starscream, the most treacherous second in command in existence, tells Skyfire he'll pay first treachery and I just have one thing to say, “Pot meet Kettle!”

S: [Laughter] Except Skyfire’s, like-

O: Not an asshole!

S: He also didn't exactly get a fair, you know, read in on this. It was basically, “Hey, you're my property now, here's a sticker.”

O: Well, yeah. Starscream just has no room to talk. At all!

S: Well yeah, considering that he keeps trying to take over the Decepticons kill and Megatron

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah. Skyfire knocks Starscream out of the air but not without damaging himself, I guess Ratchet- Ratchet didn't do much in the way of fixing him, cuz I guess he doesn't have much in the way of spare parts. Not a lot of junk in his trunk. [Laughter]

O: [over laughter] Ugh, god, no. He has no trunk! He has no trunk! [indistinct] He has no trunk, Specs, you can not make that joke!

S: On his way down, he causes an avalanche with the tiniest freaking gun-

O: Cuz, again, he’s huge! Right, like, he just has this tiny little gun! [Laughter]

S: Covering the green crystal and the day saved because of this, for some reason? Apparently that's enough to insulate the stupid crystal and stop the-

O: Apparently.

S: The Earth's heat energy from being sucked out.

O: Unfortunately for Skyfire, he also gets buried.

S: Bad Autobot buddies there. Yeah, unfortunately, yeah. Well, goodbye Skyfire, who we’ll never see again.

O: You know that bad little habit everyone has of not checking bodies?

S: Yeah. The Autobots are just like---god Autobots, why? Optimus utterly fails to comfort Spike as they vow to remember Skyfire. Why?

O: But not dig him out, you assholes! And that’s where the episode ends, it that cheesy, I swear to god and maybe I'm wrong- but I swear to god, it does that cheesy anime thing where like, you know, you have the character big in the sky as it like, you know, cuts the episode?

S: Big in the sky and the sunset, like, “We're thinking of you-”

O: Right!

S: “Your memory is in our hearts!”

O: Again, if we have not made this clear, we’ll see Skyfire again shortly. Because these guys are idiots!

S: And I guess it's a spoiler, but apparently they just need Wheeljack to freaking dig someone out.

O: I'm convinced Wheeljack just was like, “What do you mean? All we need to do is dig him out. He was fine ice for millions of years. I'm just gonna go do this.”

S: He's still fresh!

O: [Laughter]

S: He’s even more fresh than he was before, he's only been in there like five minutes!

O: [Laughter] Anyway, that’s where the episode ends. Next time join us for the introduction of the Dinobots! Or as we like to call it, “How not to treat your newborns!” Seriously, Prime’s solution is to lock them in the goddamn closet.

S: You're a bad godfather, Optimus.

O: He should not be a godfather at all! Prime, Prime, you should not be around children, go away!

S: Yup, yup.

O: So, my dear Specs tell us about our fanfic!

S: Well, um, we’ve got kind of an avalanche-

O: [Laughter]

S:  -for you today because I just kind of went hog-wild and did more than three.

O: Whoops.

S: So, yeah, lots of stuff that are involve either robots doing dumb stuff in snow, or Skyfire or Soundwave, and yeah. Lots of robots doing dumb stuff in snow and ice.

O: [Laughter]

S: So our first- first selection today is “Bobsled Australia” by Korat. It's a G1 cartoon continuity, I think. It's- yeah,

O: Vaguely, at least.

S: Yeah, well, it focuses on original characters so it's not like it really matters.

O: True.

S: So it's rated T for teen. It's Gen, there aren't any pairings, the original characters are Dart and Deus. So Korat’s original character Dart, and Deus, who is Retrolex's original character.

S: So in summary, “Two transformers, a mountain, and one makeshift sled.”

O: [Laughter]

S: And mountain is specifically about a Mount Blue Cow in Australia, if I'm remembering properly. It's- it's fun. it's funny. So yeah, theme in this was snow plus robots doing dumb stuff in it.

O: [Laughter]

S:  It's- it's old, it's good, I really enjoy it. I recommend it even if you're not terribly into OC’s/original characters just because these two have- like they bounce off each other pretty well and it's fun and you get to see robot’s bobsledding.

O: [Laughter]

S: Bobsledding down a mountain. It's kind of great. And our next one is “28 Skyfires” by Beertree. G1 cartoon, rated K+. Slash because it's got Skyfire/Starscream in it, yeah. Characters: Skyfire and Starscream are the main ones, though there are probably some other supporting characters.

S: Uh, G1, In summary “Finally some new fic from the meme going around in LiveJournal, here are 28 Skyfires. These are listed alphabetically except where a plotline is involved then it's chronological for the story rated K-T for Skyfire/Starscream slash and implied slash,” and our theme for that one is ‘Skyfire” cuz might as well have something all about the new dude.

S: Right, so this is a one-shot collection. Bobsled Australia was a one-shot. Like ne- let's go to the next one, which is “Technical Support” by Archaeopteryx_Feather. Uh, G1 cartoon. K- rated K. It's gen, no pairings. It- the main characters are Soundwave and Starscream. In summary, “Soundwave was a medic of the mind, bound by the Technopathic Oath to do no harm. But what if the patient who needs help is Starscream?”

O: Kill it, kill it with fire.

S: So the theme with that was Soundwave and his medical skills cuz I specifically wanted to find something that, um, explored the medical skills that we got to see Soundwave use in this episode.

O: Fair enough.

S: And it's a one shot with an alternate ending in the second chapter. [Indistinct] And our next one is “Ice Skating” by Haluwasa2. It's a G1 IDW to shake things up from the G1 cartoon.

S: It's rated K. It's Gen, more or less. Pairings: Misfire/Grimlock. Characters: Fulcrum, Misfire, Grimlock. “On a pit stop to Earth, Fulcrum finds Misfire and Grimlock in an unexpected scenario that is... completely normal for them to be honest.” And it's robots doing silly stuff with ice and it's a one-shot.

S: And our last one today is “Snow Day with the Scavengers” by Pteropoda (SilentP), in um..

O: Parentheses.

S: Parenthesis, thank you, so it's also G1 IDW, rated K, Gen, no pairings. Our characters for this one are Fulcrum, Misfire, Krok, Crankcase, Spinister, and Grimlock.

O: Basically the Scavengers from the IDW comics.

S: Yep, yep, and in summary, “Fulcrum is not down with toboggans.” So, yeah. Again our theme is robots doing silly stuff in snow and it's a one shot. I- yeah I was very specific on robots doing silly stuff and snow was our big theme today.

O: [laughs] You just wanted something seasonal, uh, it will make no sense when this is actually aired- we're recording this right before Christmas, so it’s like, very in season for us!.

S: But yeah that's it for the fanfiction recommendations, let's go to the art!

O: Yes! So for today we are recommending Larry, as in, Larrydraws, you can find them under- on Tumblr as Larrydraws.tumblr.com. [They’ve since changed their tumblr url to anna--malkova.tumblr.com.] Also we are recording this right after all this shit with Tumblr’s been going down so if they have a Pillowfort, I don't have a link. We will have a link to their Kofi and to their Society6 page if you don't want to dick with Tumblr right now.

O: They tend to try draw a variety of things but I was also seeing some IDW comic stuff they did which is apparent with one of the things I picked. They have some absolutely gorgeous prints available at their Society6 page. We linked a few of my personal favorites uh, for Perceptor, Soundwave, and Grimlock and I will post links to those. They're just very pretty and very well done and recommend checking them out cuz they kind of have a whole bunch of stuff and there's probably something for your favorite character.

S: Yeah, they've also got shirts with their art on them and--

O: oh yeah! They’re so pretty!

S: They’re amazing looking and I really would like, like five of them? I don't know have the money because, yeah. And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com, Um, I mean if anyone's still on Tumblr, for additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned, you can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud on YouTube at Aftersparkpodcast. You can also find us on Pillowfort as Afterspark-podcast and on AO3 by searching for Afterspark Podcast because we've just posted that! (Like, a couple of days ago?)

O: This week, basically. We will be posting there in the future, as well, it basically we're just embedding the stuff from SoundCloud but we are uploading the-

S: The transcripts and show notes.

O: The transcripts and then the show notes are in the actual note section as much as we can. Thankfully we can actually link to things which is really nice.

S: And I mean it makes it easier for people to follow along while listening

O: Yes! So if you kind of have trouble with auditory stuff, I know I actually prefer to kind of read stuff myself so, I totally get wanting to have access to it.

S: Yeah it's just it seems like a good idea. I'll see if I can come up with more tags for the AO3 stuff.

O: Yeah, I’m leaving the tags to Specs because, ah, you know I got this fandom like back in, I guess it's like six months now right?

S: Yeah, June-July-ish.

O: Something like that. Anyway and you know how I haven’t been here that long? Well, basically, I haven’t really been in a fandom space very long at all so I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with tags? Like I’m relatively familiar with Tumblr and, like, nothing else.

S: Whereas I've had an AO3 account since like 2012 and I've been using it probably since 2009.

O: So, she's knows what she’s doing more than I do. I just got on there and was like, “Oh, look fanfic!”

S: [Laughter]

O: “Tags, I love you.”

S: Yeah, so we’ll- I don't know, I guess if anyone wants to suggest tags, feel free. Um.

O: I like to particularly entertaining ones myself.

S: I might have to put on “specs- doing-robot’splaining” or something.

O:[laughs]  Yeah, I like it

S: All right, till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro music]

[ganymedesclock]

ALL RIGHTY, onto them TFA people. since these take a lot more out of me than I was expecting, I’m gonna close this particular meme for now and not take any more asks.

Bear in mind these reads are only as far as SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy and I would really prefer to avoid any spoilers! I’ve already seen some and it’s not fun. And yes, I do read the tags/replies on this post so watch y’alls spoilery mouths, people.

@numinousbones said:prowl and shiro for the ask meme!

Shiro was last masterpost, so, Prowl!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life

Prowl is my absolute favorite out of the main crew so far and that’s pretty darn hot competition since most of the TFA main cast won me over fast and hard. I mostly love how deeply expressive he is with his noticeably flat affect and how this isn’t met with a “ha ha but what is Prowl feeling or thinking??? he’s such an impossibly unreadable enigma.” Prowl does have his enigmatic qualities but they are not tied to his autistic traits.

Also when he grinned really big in Megatron Rising Part 2 that absolutely melted my heart. Prowl, you are like almost definitely a child soldier career assassin with deep personal issues where do you get off being that cute.

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

Evaluating the attractiveness of robots is. weird. I like Prowl’s color scheme and also him being a delicate-built lanky motorcycle man.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

This was a tough one. I almost went with Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and excluded the former because while Prowl is smart and observant, he doesn’t particularly value knowledge for its own sake- his curiosity and fascination is saved for specific things that capture his interest. 

And Slytherin is right out- Prowl might be ambitious, but the other side of Slytherin is interpersonal loyalty, maintenance of a trusted circle, and while Prowl heavily benefits from that, he relies on others to build it for him, and often doesn’t really think to reach out to it.

Thus, Gryffindor remains- because if there’s one thing to be said about Prowl, he’s very headstrong- about what he believes in, about what he thinks needs to be done. He pushes tenacity further and further to the point that in Fistful of Energon in particular, “whatever it takes” is practically his mantra.

best quality:

His empathetic side is pretty prominent, especially when that’s the thing that reigns him in during Fistful of Energon. Where his mind can justify almost anything with the urgent, hand-to-mouth way he seems used to operating, he sets his compass to his heart to figure out if he’s going too far. Also, he loves cats, and that’s adorable.

worst quality:

Prowl. Prowl for the love of fuck I don’t know what your backstory is yet but these implications are incredibly viciously unhappy please just. pursue journaling. Get a cat. Talking to your teammates might be too uncomfortable and you’re afraid of the only friends you’ve had in a while judging you and that’s understandable but please talk to someone, and, of course, you won’t, not until this becomes an informative but upsetting episode plot. :/

ship them with:

I have no Prowl ships at present. Mostly I’m trying to figure out what exactly his approximate age ‘in human years’ is. 

brotp them with:

Honestly Ratchet loaning him the EMP generator in Fistful of Energon was a pretty deep statement of trust, which makes me really want to see the two of them interacting more in positive situations. As far as relationships we’ve actually seen, I really like his interactions with Bulkhead and Optimus.

needs to stay away from:

I Still Don’t Know Prowl’s Backstory disclaimer but nobody gets like that without someone else setting things up and I have three guesses who and all of them start with “fucking” and end with “Megatron.”

misc. thoughts:

I have a Prowl backstory theory and it’s one part the entire way he relates to Grimlock and one part “so anybody, at any point, gonna call Prowl on his ability to fly and noticeably dark, murky color scheme compared to literally every other autobot we have clapped eyeballs on”

@theicombaticon​ said:  Hi! Since you're doing the character asks and I haven't seen you say as much about her.....what are your thoughts on Sari?

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

So Sari is one of the few details I knew about Transformers Animated before watching it (specifically her having some sort of relationship with Cybertron/ not being all human) but I didn’t have that many assumptions about her character, but whoa nelly does she deliver.

I would seriously point to Sari as a case study in how to attach a Kid Sidekick to any kind of long-running franchise. Because she’s narratively, perfect- has a well-defined niche, conflicts and problems, unique and reasonable relationships with multiple characters, she’s cute, endearing, has character flaws and conflicts, has nicely diversified interests and is proactive in a way that��s both realistic and effective. 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

She Is An Eight Year Old.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

In like... the third damn episode Sari basically told the gods to fuck off and brought Optimus back from the dead because what’s the point of gaming the system if you can’t punch the world hard enough to make it cough your friend back up and that is like the most Slytherin possible exercise in heroism I have ever seen, ever.

best quality:

Honestly I love this scheming eight-year-old. I love her heroics and equally obvious inclination to break the rules because. what are you gonna do??? stop her?

worst quality: 

I mean she has character flaws but a lot of them are related to her debilitating loneliness and the growing horrified realization that a lot of her life was living in a kind of narrow protected bubble that her father made for her because the possibility for magic destiny aside, the Allspark itself pretty clearly implied that her story isn’t one that she particularly is gonna enjoy hearing.

And that just feels... mean to criticize. She’s eight. She’s doing the best she can. That’s only so much. 

ship them with: 

This Is An Entire Child.

brotp them with: 

Her sibling relationship with Bee and Bulkhead is adorable, and I would LOVE to see more out of her interactions with Ratchet but this is because I want to see Ratchet interact more with everyone because I love Ambulance Dad from the bottom of my heart.

But y’know what I really, really want? I honestly want Arachnia and Sari to take their grudging mutual same-hat to the next level. I want Arachnia to become Sari’s terrible decisions big sister. By their powers combined they would be literally unstoppable. Optimus gets to find out second hand what sort of shit his sorta surrogate niece and his Significant It’s Complicated have been up to when Arachnia rolls up an hour past midnight like “guess who’s officially a wanted criminal in Botswana?” 

There is at least one (1) heist in which Arachnia gets Sari to climb in the vents to infiltrate a place, which she complains about the entire time but is mollified when someone corners her and tauntingly asks what a Little Girl can possibly threaten him with and then Sari’s just like “oh, y’know” and a giant spider crashes through the wall.

needs to stay away from:

Fuck you, Powell.

misc. thoughts:

Literally my only qualm with Sari is why the hell doesn’t she take her pigtails and hairclips off to sleep. What’s up with that Sari. I know you’re some manner of bizarre cyborg child but what.

Anonymous said: TFA Optimus Prime

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

So I’ve been very aware of Transformers for a long time because it’s pretty impossible not to be, but I’ve also been obstinately indifferent to it for a long time. Watched the first episode of Prime ages ago, really didn’t get into it, haven’t really felt compelled to look further until friends of mine whose cartoon tastes I trust talked me into TFA.

Optimus... won me over a lot. It’s really nice to see energy and color breathed into a character who’s such an archetypal cornerstone hero- he feels fleshed out and this allows me to actually connect with him as a character.

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

I know all the autobots have pretty baby blues but like... Optimus in particular. They are nice. I also like the curvature of his mouth because especially in his more snide expressions (e.g. The Headmaster Returns) it means that Optimus Prime, Headliner Hero of the Transformers Franchise, goes >:3 sometimes. Also when he’s sorta miffed about something, it makes him look like he’s pouting.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

See the interesting thing here is Optimus is exactly the kind of person who’d get incredibly snippy at the Hufflepuff House reputation, but, what mostly sticks with me is that fitting with his fireman’s motif, Optimus’s primary weapon in this setting is a fire axe- which is not a weapon meant for fighting. It’s a tool- meant for clearing obstructions in the way of rescuing people. 

This is both a rather powerful statement of confidence- it implies that the enemies he faces down are obstacles, rather than rivals, reflecting both his formidable skill as a combatant and the certain degree of unforgiving pressure he brings to bear on people he sees as obstructing what needs to be done- and it heavily suggests that to Optimus, combat is a labor of necessity, not something particularly glorious or to be reveled in.

Optimus is a hard worker. His morals are stated repeatedly in someone willing to put his nose to the grind and who would rather be doing meaningful work with people he finds honorable than reveling in glory. In a meta sense in Garbage In, Garbage Out, an episode partially about being a hero and what that makes, the first thing we see Optimus doing is personally hauling waste because it’s a job that needs to be done- and it’s Prowl that comments on the indignity of it all, not Optimus who was actively covered in other people’s trash.

best quality:

Optimus has an impressive tenacity of personal character. He’s, I think, one of the big archetypal Lawful Good characters out there, and his willingness to do things like take Sentinel out in Mission Accomplished is contrasted by his willingness to calmly walk right up to Ultra Magnus and state that he accomplished his objective- if Optimus appears to rebel from the system, it’s because, in his eyes, he’s not the one turning away from the ideal of what should be- it’s Sentinel, it’s Magnus, it’s Cybertron that turns away and leaves him to chase what he’s sure is the right course of action, and, as a Lawful Good, he is also willing to quietly turn himself in and face the consequences of his actions as long as he feels his point has been made.

worst quality: 

He feels pretty overly responsible for other people. This can lead him to sink deep into personal grief (see Along Came A Spider and the way he parsed Elita’s fate before reuniting with Arachnia), it can make him a little pushy and intrusive (see the way he needles Ratchet about opening up to him about his history in Transform And Roll Out part 1 and again in Thrill Of The Hunt, the latter only acknowledging there’s a reason Ratchet might not want to discuss it after something similar happened to him) and, at his absolute worst, it can make him incredibly snappy and controlling when he feels like every minor thing counts (several occasions, but Megatron Rising part 1 is the cleanest example)

ship them with: 

Arachnia. It’s pretty clear they both miss each other terribly, though, they’ve still got a lot of work to do.

brotp them with: 

BRIDGE CREW! BRIDGE CREW! I particularly like his interactions with Ratchet (surprise there, huh) and Prowl.

I’d like to invite Sentinel to this party but Sentinel has a lot of emotional shit he needs to sort out first, because, while Sentinel is clearly at least awkwardly trying to patch their friendship, he’s still not... listening to Optimus about what’s important to him.

needs to stay away from:

Nobody in particular that’s not a general hazard to all autobots.

misc. thoughts:

For the longest time I thought Optimus was the equivalent of a twentysomething but now I am genuinely wondering if he’s actually like. basically eighteen. The bridge crew is just Ratchet shepherding a bunch of teenagers around.

@sepublic asked: General opinion on Lugnut?

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

Lugnut’s honestly got me really intrigued. From his appearance to the sheer raw firepower he’s capable of to the way he is absolutely, to the bottom of his soul terrified of Megatron and at the same time snarls at the idea of anyone so much as suggesting Megatron is less than a grand and benevolent god resplendent on the planet raises some deeply upsetting questions. There’s clearly something to him we haven’t heard, yet.

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

Not necessarily in the conventional sense but he’s got a really appealing monsterish design that makes him stand out a lot visually.

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

Fervent, unyielding loyalty, personal ferocity in the face of battle. Lugnut never abdicates unless it’s in the face of Megatron- if anything, we’ve never seen him afraid of anything except his beloved lord.

best quality:

Loyalty and tenacity, definitely. 

worst quality: 

Like Sari, it feels a little mean to criticize Lugnut because I think it’s pretty obvious a lot of his flaws aren’t really of his own crafting outside of stubbornness. He’s pretty obviously profoundly indoctrinated, and the purr to Megatron’s voice in Lost And Found when he calls Lugnut “truly loyal” is deeply disquieting when we know thanks to Soundwave and Grimlock both that Megatron is quite fond of child soldiers... and Lugnut looks almost nothing like a conventional cybertronian.

ship them with: 

I’m not convinced he’s not a child given cybertronians basically pupate directly to their adult size and then stay there so I consider him off the shipping table.’

brotp them with: 

None of his current canon connections seem super appealing to me. I mean, in an AUish sense I really like the idea of after Megatron’s defeated or driven off Earth, Isaac Sumdac taking in Lugnut and helping rehabilitate him. The guy just... really deserves better than to fling himself reverently at the feet of an abusive person who actively finds his worship either obligatory or annoying.

needs to stay away from:

Megatron, child protection services has a sniper on the roof.

misc. thoughts:

Lugnut’s really not a guy I expected to care about this much, which is kinda the story of TFA. If I didn’t go in expecting to love the character, I was proven wrong.

[robobrainrot]

I'm gonna take a crack at giving context to all of these that I know so long post warning under the cut. If I didn't know it- I skipped it.

Also, spoiler warning

SECTION 1

June Darby Robot fucker: she flirts with Optimus (or about Optimus? She might have just been teasing Jack. There is debate on this)

The Nemesis comes "alive" when given dark Energon in Awakened Mind so it implies that it has always had a spark or life force.

Optimus has cup holders. We see this when Fowler is driving.

Mass displacement: the robots are HUGE in TFP so Hasbro handwaves this with "mass displacement". For example- Arcee's lower leg is the size of a whole motorcycle so how does she turn into one? Mass displacement.

Shipping war: self explainatory

Knockout was sexy by design! In the art book the studio calls him "the sexiest bot they'd ever seen"

Prime is good and they put some characters in IDW2 from it. Idk.

SECTION 2

Im assuming this is referring to that one meme? Or the cut scene where starscreen tries to do the drive through. My brain went to @frecklydork 's rendition of Starscream at the drive-thru though.

At a comic panel, someone asked basically if Knockout was gay bc of the way he acts. The panelist responded by saying his excessive vanity must've been a "glitch in the matrix."

The Rock voices Cliffjumper and they had to change Cliff's design when they found this out.

Rescue bots is on a small remote Island and the Ratchet/Optimus/etc that we see make guest appearances are most similar to Prime. Im sure theres more evidence but thats all I got.

Starscream... is star shaped.....

SECTION 3

Theres a cut scene during the credits where the Vehicons ask Starscream if they can get a puppy. He says no and they're VERY SAD.

Silas is voiced by Mr. Krabs.

Theres art by one of the team members of Starscream in beachwear and Apperently theres an unaired decepticon beach day.

Japanese dub arachnid is uhhhh Yandere? Its a VERY DIFFERENT TONE AND ITS CREEPY. Watch some clips on youtube... you'll regret it.

I can't explain Fowler Ghostbusters but there a mini comic on it.

SECTION 4

The way Smokescreen interacts with objects.... he is left handed...

Windblade is a Seeker and knew Starscream at some point. They are both slender and agile bots.

I dont remember the Soundwave one but theres alot of evidence.

There was Prowl concept art. He is cop again.

SECTION 5

Vehicons are Cold constructed bc they don't have "faces." We never see them take of their visors or helmets which implies its part of their frame.

The DS game is a slightly alt. Timeline.

Idk many in this section sorry

SECTION 6

All the vehicons are the saaaame~

Starscream cannot die. He has been to hell and back and spat in the face of Unicron himself. (My joke theory) his tiny dose of dark energon was like a fucking vaccine and now he's immune.

Tank and Hellicoper vehicons were in the concept art but ultimately not used (probably due to budget)

SECTION 7

I SURE HOPE BREAKDOWN COMES BACK WHAT IS THIS THEORY??

Basically they slowly go insane due to proximity to Unicron.

SECTION 8

Lugnut = Big Boy. Breakdown = Big Boy. Wifeswap those evil himbos.

SECTION 9

Knockout dies update from @sparkxii "I believe that the 'Knockout Dies' entry is referring to the massive amount of emails sent to Hasbro during the airing of TFP on the Hub that explicitly begged them NOT to kill off Knockout since he was such a fan favorite." // Knockout dies update #2 from OP: KO falls off the Nemesis and is never seen again in the DS/Wii game.

SECTION 10

There's a comic with the GI joe dudes so therefore, they are in the same universe

Hope you enjoyed this infodump! How'd I do? Tell me your fav thing in the tags or more random obscure TFP lore~

The Aligned Continuity Iceberg

It has jokes, conspiracies, and facts and is levelled from least obscure to most obscure.

Joke: June Darby is a robot fucker

Conspiracy: Starscream and Megatron are reincarnated primes

Fact: The Aligned Continuity was almost named “Epochs”