#his characterization tho wtf...

[nobie]

It's making me physically ill thinking about Filoni ruining Thrawn's character...

[bugwolfsstuff]

As an excuse to have Zagreus in my pjo stuff while keeping him as a son of Hades:

I'm saying in universe a rumour that Zeus had slept with Persephone and had Zagreus went around, catching the eye of Hera. Which begins the myth of Infant Zagreus and his dismemberment. But in my universe, the rumour was untrue, Zeus and Hades look very alike because they're brothers (especially in animal form), someone mistook Hades for his brother which started the rumour.

And in my universe because i dont really like the idea of reincarnation or Orphic Dionysus, I'm saying Dio is not a reincarnation/rebirth of Zagreus. Like Hades and Zeus they just look similar because they're family and were twice-born around the same time.

[rmbunnie]

It's most likely just Starlin trying to get to Jason dying faster because he did not like Robin, but the whole "Jason's spiraling because of his grief for his parents" thing they were trying to spin was honestly really weird, not supported by the rest of the run INCLUDING the parts Starlin wrote, and kinda reads like an unreliable narrator situation because all of the information supporting it is given through Bruce's narration, him speculating on Jason's thoughts and actions.

The plot thread of Jason's grief for his family affecting his behavior shows up like TWO issues after Jason first becomes Robin back when Collins was writing, and gets sorted out after one conversation where Jason gets to confront Bruce about hiding his father's death from him for 6 months. After that Jason is behaving normally until they encounter three predators in a row, and each time Bruce insists that they can't do anything because of The Rules and assorted red tape/diplomatic immunity plotlines. (The sister of a woman who got dismembered actually tricked the violent-misogynist killer who dismembered her sister (and then got his serial killings dismissed through a technicality) into attacking her, and ends up killing him in self-defense, and then Jason's like "seems fair" and Bruce is like "no. it's NOT. we need to follow laws and not take justice into our own hands. which like wtf Bruce! you are a vigilante who just used a custom tank to fight an evil televangelist! who then got ripped to shreds by his followers while you watched!)

Bruce kinda just decides with Alfred that it must be grief upsetting him and not the dozens of brutally killed women and their predatory killers who the law inexplicably protected, (all written by Starlin, so retconning it for DitF like five issues later would be an odd move) but the only text claiming that's why Jason was upset is from Bruce's POV and through Alfred's dialogue. Jason himself doesn't display any signs of grief in the story itself, or even act or speak in a way that alludes to Catherine and Willis beyond looking at a picture of them and smiling fondly while he sorts through their possessions. He kinda just happens upon the box with his mother's info by chance, and is like ok i guess we're doing mom searches now. He was only going for a walk through his old neighborhood, not actively searching out info on his family. When Jason is deciding whether or not to run off without telling Bruce, he considers telling him and then goes "no, all he cares about is being Batman, he wouldn't even understand why I want to see my mom." Which, I mean, "Bruce wouldn't get it" is a REALLY odd angle if the sole motivator for spiraling, then getting benched* and running away to search out his bio-mom, was because he was mourning his dead parents, a thing he notably has in common with Bruce. That statement only really makes sense if he's thinking about a different thing that was greatly upsetting to him that Bruce brushed past, like maybe a combo of hiding the murder of his dad for half a year and allowing several cases involving sexual violence to freely develop body counts in the name of the law.

Lots of people have written about how Jason's stay in the manor might have seemed dependent on being Robin with how he was kinda just scooped up, but (if we're including Detective Comics in our characterization,) Bruce had offered to let him resign from Robin and just live with him (a little late, but still. It's worth noting Batman proper shows Jason afraid and uncomfortable at the thought of Dick taking Robin back, which lends more merit to the housing-dependent-on-Robin-misunderstanding interpretation, but canon is pick and choose anyways.) The lack of trust involved in his choice to search out his mom kinda reads like it was bred by more than that alone, and Bruce's prioritization of the law over the protection of the people it ignores is notably upsetting to him in the prior issues. tbh I really do believe the outcomes of those cases could have informed Jason's stance that Bruce's method of justice is ineffective right alongside his own murder and his experiences in Lost Days.

It would make sense for Bruce to not consider his own actions while he's thinking through things that would upset Jason, because from his point of view the things there that were bothering Jason were the criminals alone, not the way that the methods with which they were approaching their crimes continually led to the perpetrators evading actual justice. During the point in DitF where he's thinking through motivations for Jason's running away because something isn't adding up for HIM, the idea doesn't so much as cross his mind. It would also add another layer to Jason's sulkiness upon Bruce's arrival if he held the belief that Bruce is ignoring the consequences his brand of justice has on victims (and the way it's affecting him to helplessly watch it play out), starts to hope that Bruce actually can understand his thought processes/relate to him when he shows up, only to be told to his face that Bruce is prioritizing his style of justice over Jason again. With the way everything that led Jason to his bio-mom was comically circumstantial and the context of the previous issues, it's kind of the ONLY way Death in the Family makes sense to me. Tldr: I feel like the grief claimed as reasoning for Jason's actions leading up to his death is mainly speculation from Bruce and Alfred and the more textually-supported reason for his erratic behavior and lack of trust in Bruce is the lack of intervention in several sensitive cases that led them to worsen unobstructed and eventually permitted them to escalate into casualties in 2 out of 3 cases.

*Also, side note, but the idea that Jason got benched for the Filipe situation, while perfectly reasonable, is not quite spot on. The Filipe situation escalated into the fight in the junkyard where his dad is crushed by a car and Bruce is all "everything you do has consequences" which is kinda big words for a guy whose lack of action indirectly lead to a girls death earlier in the storyline, but true. Jason actally gets benched because he jumps directly into gunfire while fighting the third set of predators and Bruce starts to worry he's getting a little suicidal with it. He baits a guy into shooting at him on purpose again trying to protect mom prospect number 1 later on in DitF, so Bruce might have had a point with that one.

[rewriterory]

Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts

So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:

1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.

2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be borderline to me tho <3

3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao

By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)

If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!

First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.

(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)

So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:

1. Fear of abandonment

2. Unstable or changing relationships

3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors

5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury

6. Varied or random mood swings

7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.

Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.

Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.

Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.

Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:

Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:

The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.

Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:

Winning the World Cup

Winning the World Cup with Nagi

Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake

Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own

Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker

Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.

After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.

He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!

Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!

He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)

I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.

Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.

Unstable or Changing Relationships:

The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.

The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.

Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:

Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.

When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.

These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.

It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).

In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:

Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.

That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:

Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:

I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."

Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:

In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.

Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.

He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.

Fear of Abandonment:

Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:

The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-

Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.

Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?

Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.

Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.

This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:

Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:

One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:

Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.

These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:

I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-

It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.

If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.

He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.

He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.

As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.

i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.

I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).

After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.

Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect

I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH

The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool

Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-

I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!

I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.

Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a

Closing Thoughts:

Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.

Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.

If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.

[pendwelling]

TWSB Genderswap AU thoughts...

(Felt like exploring their designs while in the middle of writing my "What if TWSB Was Genderswapped? : Gender Expectations, Trope Subversion, and How Jung Eunseo's Gender Identity Affects QPB" essay/analysis (which somehow took an somewhat academic turn) 😭 Please look out for that, whenever I finish it... TvT)

I actually spent quite a bit thinking about this lmao (my thought process would make much more sense if you read my essay but it's still a WIP so 🥹👍) Have some fun silly abridged thoughts instead! :

Cédric M. Riester —> Ségolène Benz Riester

I firmly believe that female!Cédric would look a lot like her mom 🥹 Like Mother, Like Daughter! Long hair is a hassle when you're a swordsman, so she keeps it short... (until she gets jealous over Yeseo and Chris bonding over braiding hair TSK)(actually canon tho LOL)

I also gave female!Cédric the name "Ségolène" (Sieglinde) since it's the French female form of "Siegfried" (to which the author originally confirmed was supposed to be his name until it was changed to better fit the Riesterian setting)! "Céline" was also an option, but there's already a Riester ancestor with that name (Ced's grandmother and Frédérique's mom) and I didn't want them to just switch their names or make her "Céline II", and I'm already SO biased towards "Ségolène" hahaha

(As for the middle name. Well. LMAOOOOO It's self-explanatory, but if you're curious, see the screenshots of my IG story justifications later below! I also just thought it was. really funny OTL)

Christelle Olivier Rambouillet —> Christian Aude Rambouillet

A pretty-looking young man by the name of Christian... I chose "Aude" as the middle name, since that was the sister of "Olivier" in the "Chanson de Roland" where the name comes from! It works well, I find, because Aude is also the betrothed of Roland, which ties in to "Christelle/Christian's" character setting of "love interest", and how Ga-in would eventually gain agency outside of it.

I kept male!Chris' hair long because of the significance it carries for Ham Ga-in who couldn't cut it out of respect/guilt for Ollie 🥲 It's quite a small but significant aspect of Ga-in characterization that would translate well into any version of their character: the notion of "this isn't my body, so I must take care of it well in the original owner's place". (And later, the implied future cutting of hair being the resolution of these dilemmas and internal struggle! I love Ham Ga-in a lot...)

(AND YEAH LOL CHRIS IS STILL SHORTER THAN CED, tho if you want to, you can choose to believe that Chris' 19y.o. body still has room for growth xD)

Jung Yeseo:

As for Jung Yeseo... hahaha her name can remain the same! I wanted to draw her as a pretty girl-next-door unnie, who looks studious, gentle, and cute (but surprisingly fierce when angry LMAO)

Major inspiration was taken from brown-haired shoujo-romance MCs! The original body of the MC from "I Raised a Black Dragon" was especially notable for me. Her design was really cute and always reminded me in some way of Yeseo... TTvT

Anyhow, she's naturally a girl who obliviously captures the hearts of both women and men 🥹👍

(And here's my initial messy IG story thoughts!) :

(Additional thoughts from my twitter/x thread 😭) :

In the first place, CeChri in a Genderswap AU would be so funny to me bc woah... Pretty Transmigrated Duke's Son MC x Handsome Crown Princess (who is taller than him)? Revolutionary. It'd probably be a very genre-convention-defying RoFan haha (I WANT IT)

ADDITIONALLY LAUGHING bc FredAu about the engagement would be like: "Sadie, do not worry, you'll like him. Young Lord Christian is a gentle young man known for his reserved personality, who is also very beautiful (reminds a bit of Alex when we were younger...)(insert nostalgic feelings)..."

🔥, after they've finally become acquaintanced: "Not beautiful at all."

🌊 "WTF????"

🔥 "Not gentle either (TSK)."

Ségolène would probably even get pissed off seeing Chris' long hair. As a knight, she always thinks about convenience. Besides, her father could pull it off because he was very beautiful.

🌊 "WOW! Are you really calling your own fiancé ugly then???"

🔥 "And short."

🌊 "............."

Also thinking about Yeseo first transmigrating, trying futilely to remember what Ségolène looks like. According to Eunseo, the main female lead is very beautiful, so Yeseo images a gorgeous woman with long ebony hair who would look amazing in ornate ball gowns worthy of her position as Crown Princess. A cold-hearted beauty.....

Reality —> Gorgeous, tall woman, broad-shouldered and muscular, with short hair and wearing a knight's uniform.

🌷 "!!!?" (JAW DROPS)

'Wow!? Are the standards for female love interests different these days??'

Yeseo is so flustered she can't raise her eyes (Ségolène is too tall 🤭)

"In the first place, isn't the gap between the FL and the 2nd FL too large...?"

Ségolène: Tall, stunning woman in a uniform with fierce eyes. Hair as dark as the night, a figure that looks undoubtedly very reliable and strong. Great with the sword, and would definitely cut you down without hesitation if need be.

Losna: Significantly shorter, gentle-looking beauty with sly eyes. Long golden hair that curls coyly at the ends, divine-looking yet somewhat enticing like a siren. Soft hands that have never touched a blade, but whose tongue could cut deeply while delivering words in the kindest tone.

🌷, heart pounding, flustered (DENSE): (chuckles) "If I were a man, my heart would definitely be in a frenzy! Even the MC is very pretty, too... They truly are the protagonists!!"

🔥 (piercing stare)(wants yeseo so bad)(is it possible for someone to be so lovable?)(cuteness aggression is so real)

🌊 (thinking about how to make yeseo their priest partner)(very determined and having fun)(already making plans to have everyone in an arranged official sleepover that lasts a lifetime<—somewhat warped view of marriage)

Whenever people see CYC together, it's as if the Empress, Cardinal, and Prince Consort have come back from their youth.

A cold-looking and stubborn Crown Princess with a sword, a young powerful Cleric with a gentle face, a Duke's strong and pretty son with long hair.........

FredAu: (fluffy atmosphere, warm sentimentality, fond memories.....)

🌊 "...? Why are they looking at us like that?"

🔥 (knows from FredAu's gazes that she has gotten parental approval)(like mother like daughter LMAO)

🌷 (doesn't know that her fate has been sealed TSKKK)

(If you can't tell, I'm having a lot of fun with this AU LMAO. Please look forward in 19474893 years when I finally finish my What-if Genderswap AU very-serious essay about this topic TTvT👍

[ddarker-dreams]

Hiii just wanted to say that yan anaxa fic was v tasty and u captured his special kind of crazy swag so well (also the fic itself reads v smoothly)!!

If you dont mind could u explain the way u went about it (up to u how in-depth) like i know hes not particularly difficult to see doing weird yan shit cos hes a weird guy but idk the v candid shyness at the mention of his loneliness, the denial of the divine being a key driving force to his character but willingly offering to beg/bow the reader and many others but im rambling GRAHHHH EITHER WAY UR A V SKILLED AUTHOR AND IM GRATEFUL I GET TO READ UR WORK

Have a lovely day!! <33

there's nothing i love more than an excuse to dive into the behind the scenes of a fic 👁👁 even short stories have lots of time and thought poured into them!

this excerpt from the 'as i've written — amphoreus' saga of heroes' left a strong impression on me. (unrelated, but has anyone noticed how anaxa's character card is reminiscent of the major arcana's hanged man? how fitting...) whenever i write a character for the first time, one of my first goals is identifying what makes them distinct. i try building their characterization around that.

for anaxa, this narrowed down to:

his heretical tendencies in a relatively god-fearing society

willingness to engage/debate ideas he disagrees with

history in alchemy

how he 'leans into' the theatrical rather than being a stern, distant intellectual

a tendency to never give outright answers, instead helping others arrive at conclusions for themselves through well-timed comments and guidance (e.g. castorice's story arc)

with these as my guiding principles, i felt more comfortable characterizing him. honestly there's still a lot of guesswork and pruning along the way. i toned down his condescension because it didn't feel right. i write a lot of condescending characters (looking at you, chrollo, gojo and geto), so i have to be careful to not let that seep into characters it doesn't work with 😭

another few notes regarding his characterization:

i tried leaning into his desire to cultivate knowledge in his pupils. since the start of the story is ambiguous about what exactly anaxa has done, i wanted his questions to put you, the Actual reader, in the MC's shoes by having you piece together wtf is going on. once the MC reveals his 'crimes' it's then up to you to determine how much of this (or if there's anything else) anaxa is guilty of.

if you're curious, i made it a rule for none of anaxa's dialogue to contain outright lies. he's still being shady tho

when darling says, “You must be lonely, professor" we see a change in his behavior because that hit a little too close to home. he actually finds disclosing that he enjoys darling's company more embarrassing than his verbose declarations toward the end of the story. it's just a little too intimate, hence his rush to move on by bombarding darling with his unhinged nonsense.

i hope this is what you were looking for ,, thank you so much for your kind words and interest in my writing!!!

[stunie]

I’m an Umemiya girlie (and Togame) through and through but I’ve recently started to see Sakura’s appeal. Do you have any recs handy for good Sakura fics?

-��

HIIIII CHERRY WELCOME BACK !! hope ur doing awesome!!! (: 🤍 sakura appeal is so real. here is a list that i split into sfw / nsfw for you <33 uhh but they’re not all fics !! i put the long ones at the top tho xx

also so sorry . i read so many that i can’t remember them all :’) i didn’t include very many but these r some of the recent ones ive read !! make sure to read their rules before interacting as always!! (also amazing taste. ume girlies <333 yes .)

NSFW STUFF:

exposure therapy (ft. suo). this fic ! the one where i maxxed my tags ? yes this one. the characterization is unreal. it’s a must read. a MUST READ.

you fuck in ume’s bed (🥲) i’m not gonna link eve’s entire masterlist here but head straight to her account if u need sakura!! there’s like three other fics i can see rn >///<

phone sex . god . i’m not gonna say anything else. just read the first paragraph and you’ll understand.

raw for the first time !!!!!!!! this made me fall to my knees btw. i actually squatted down against the floor bc i wasn’t gonna read this standing .

SFW STUFF:

miscommunication : i haven’t read the full fic version yet wtf ??? i read the short version. i will be reblogging this one soon. it was so. so. cute.

CUTENESS AGGRESSSSSIONN : u BITE sakura and it’s cute.

decorating his room! : this made me soft … he needs this love fr

he gets jealous : HE GOT JEALOUS OF SUO .

realizes he has a crush on u : all of bibi’s works for sakura r just ..

patching him up after a fight : CUTE. CUTIE . YEAH !

he visits the bakery u work at : he’s trying his best here !!!

calling him by his first name : sakura ko’d by this btw

you feed him veggies : now how did u manage to do that ??

there’s only one bed .. : oh dear .

[stephexmachina]

hi zeph I loved Tenji immediately even tho I resent the idea of Shiva having another kid like that is stupid to me but I've also kind of given up and given in and I guess now Shiva is going to be characterized as very motherly ok that's fine HOWEVVERRR as an official ambassador of the Shiva Ben and Richard Dynamic (SBRD) the idea of Ben raising (maybe?) and training his teenage (?) son in Richards fuckass cabin (with Shiva occasionally dropping in maybe wtf is going on it's unclear) makes me soooooo happy and gives me so much to think about. It's a v interesting concept TO ME! And while I maintain that much of Brombals Shiva has been ooc and weird I do appreciate how much he's putting into her and Ben and Richard (but it's so sad how Brombal emphasizes that Ben knew and liked Carolyn better and that they were friends with SANDRA not Shiva, and not even Wu Ming-Yue, it feels like a huge disservice to the character that her truest and most free self is now considered the evil vengeful version of herself but that's not what this is about) ok anyway!! Especially bc I love Ben so much and because I got to see Ben and Cass interact again extensively (omg!!!!) and especially bc Tenji weaves the influences of Shiva Ben and Richard's fighting styles (and maybe even their personalities though we haven't spent enough time with him to know that yet), because Shiva Ben and Richard are my favorite three ever EYE found it fun!!! ok bye MWAH!

BLUE HELLO!!!!! 🫶🫶🫶 omg i totally get you i've had doubts about Brombal's Shiva since issue 3 or so and i honestly gave up on expecting a good portrayal from this run several issues ago HOWEVER!! Tenji and Ben are such a shining light in the dark for me.

like i was so close to giving up on the run entirely but now i'm SO curious about what Tenji's childhood would have looked like with the martial arts trio as his primary role models / parental figures and it's so fascinating somehow that he's such a bright and shining soul despite the adults in his life having such bloody histories that he knows nothing of!!! esp makes me so happy to see Ben inarguably be a good dad who Tenji adores bc Black fatherhood is so undervalued & there are so many ugly stereotypes regarding absent/deadbeat fathers etc etc so that's very near and dear to me too. i LOVE the idea of Tenji being raised or at least influenced by all three of them i just wish it hadn't involved misrepresenting Shiva's character and flattening her down to a more palatably traditional maternal archetype 💔

[oh-no-its-bird]

Goodmorning everypony (its literally midnight) I just had a really messy dream about modern au separated at birth twins Tobirama and Itama, where Itama kind of sort of accidentally kidnaps literal royalty Tobirama— while for totally unrelated reasons, a plot to kill Butsama, his wife, and the Senju brothers (and presumably somehow take power(?)) is set into motion

(The Senju were like actual royalty for some reason, Butsama was a king, his wife who went unnamed but got a weird amount of scenes in my dream was a queen, etc. Itama, separated at birth from Tobirama for some reason, was raised as a normal guy)

By the pure chance of Itama happening to have kidnapped Tobirama at that time (genuinley an accident and done while he was high out of his mind and just kind of rolling w it, intending to put him back where he found later when Tobirama had calmed down and also the cops are gone (he doesn't seem to realize Tobirama is a prince)) Tobirama escaped the scheme to kill him by a fucking hair— but now Itama is being blamed for the murder of the king and queen and Tobirama, already having a bad reputation, is also being blamed for it (don't ask me where Hashirama is)

Tobirama can't just come forward and say "bitch wtf no I didn't" bc there's a good chance that the second he's in custody, the person who killed his parents will now kill him

Itama is kinda roped into helping just bc Tobirama has deemed him useful and will strangle him if he doesnt (he totally attempted to just go "damn that sucks. Good luck with that lmao, sorry ab the kidnapping thing." and walk off like. Almost as soon as they heard ab Butsama dying)

Oh right also Tobirama was accidentally kidnapped when Itama was in the middle of on purpose kidnapping literal infant Kawarama, who is his halfbrother (and this Tobirama's tho neither realize it)

There was something going on with Itama I can't really explain, he had some sort of "this guy is more important and powerful than you realize" vibes for him totally unrelated to the separated at birth thing. He has something going on, and he used some like funky spacial magic shit to kidnap Tobirama that was really fucking dangerous and involved driving a speeding car off a cliff and teleporting out of it at the perfect time to make sure they don't all die. It was very convoluted.

Whatever was happening w him was probably related to why he of all people could and was believabley blamed for killing the fucking king and queen. It was also related to why the fuck he was kidnapping Kawarama in such an insane and convoluted way

It's kinda cool to think ab him getting wrapped up in Tobirama's conspiracy shit while Tobirama simultaneously gets wrapped up in his too

Anyways that was my dream (but like cleaned up and written down in a much more understandable way. And also cutting out the "driving a speeding car off a cliff w a drugged out of his mind Tobirama tied up in the backseat as he timed his every move to teleportinf out of this parallel dimension in order to not kill them all" scene that felt like it took an hour)

The whole dream was viewed like a fucking movie, but I was seeing it from the perspective of someone reading it as if it was a fic— which I only remember bc there were several moments where I started gushing ab how good Itama's characterization in the story was and how much I loved him and the "author" for writing him this way

Fun times. Maybe I'll think ab it as an actual narrative later

[aihoshiino]

I feel Aqua's entire character got retconed with this chapter, there was never a revenge to begin with…so all the build up, akane trying to stop him, hurting his loved ones, him dying afterwards, and even ch95 while we're at it is useless…then Ruby's character got entirely ruined for a nothing incest subplot

Someone rewrite onk asap please, what is this

idk if I would say Aqua was outright Retconned because this has always been the place I expected his arc to land, but it defo feels like it lacks immediate buildup, if that makes sense. Like how Kana's sudden leap to AKANE YOU SHOULD DATE AQUA ^_^ in 148-9 feels jarring when it happens but makes sense in the context of Kana's arc as a whole and her outside POV on the AquAka relationship. Aqua landing here makes sense for his overall arc, but he suffers the same issue Ruby has recently where we don't actually see the internal work that got him here, just this big dramatic payoff in lieu of the long term characterization to support it. I think it stands out even worse with Aqua because we were locked out of his head the entire Movie Arc, so any major change to his character rn is gonna feel really jarring and unsupported.

ruby i absolutely won't defend tho lol. Man. I was actually really hype for the AQRB stuff to get addressed in the text and for OnK to explore wtf incest even is for Aqua and Ruby and to prod and poke at all the interesting and uncomfortable aspects of their personalities we could get out of pursuing that plot and it just didn't happen lol. Ruby just turns into the imouto from every incest hentai ever and every interesting plotline she had going on gets dropped (MARINA TENDOUJI COME BACK AND SAVE THE OSHI NO KO)

It especially frustrates me because OnK HAS handled incest in a really interesting way before!!! Aqua has to unfuck his feelings about Ai during LoveNow and figure out what his feelings for her even are, complicated as they are by him inheriting Gorou's gachikoi attraction to her. Even though he does ultimately settle on 'no I wasn't romantically or sexually attracted to Ai', the fact that he HAS to think about it, and the guilt and revulsion that radiates off him that entire micro-arc is soooo fucking good. It's such a good example of that kind of, reincarnation identity dysphoria OnK was so good at digging into that I really miss in this half of the manga.

[ladydeath-vanserra]

I feel like Rhys would be more interesting for me if SJM made up her mind on what kind of character he is supposed to be. If he's the "ideal man" then why write him performing textbook acts of abuse. the "ideal man" who is the pinnacle of Healthy Relationship Material cannot really mesh well with grey morality

part of being a morally grey character is,, the fucked up morality that "normal" characters would be like "dude wtf" which you can see with characters like Kaz Brekker and to an extent Damon Salvatore. Their grey morality is tied to their actual personhood and their actual sense of morality. they're not haunted by their actions. it is *within their morality* in their own ideals of what they consider right and wrong

Rhys' "grey morality" is tied to that of his "mask" and then he gets so tortured by how he just has to hurt all these people for the "greater good" my good dude that's not morally grey. a morally grey character is going to see it as worth it and not blink an eye bec it was what needed to be done- see Kaz literally ripping out that dudes eye and not blinking about it while everyone else was like what the fuck

Rhys is written closer to a character similar to Stefan who is just so tortured and the narrative and the people around him (and by extension many of his Stans™️) will go out of their way to completely forgive all the problematic shit he did bec he "has a pure heart" or "hes an addict tho" or whatever and it's easier to excuse when he's standing next to Damon, who is outwardly fucked up and problematic in such an obvious way (Rhys next to Tamlin or even Nesta)

she Wants him to be a morally grey bad boy but he's not *written* like one. he's not allowed to be problematic the way morally grey characters are problematic. Morally Grey characters are inherently toxic and problematic and often to the point where they can be/are abusive

but also, it's the fact that he just,,, doesn't have any real character growth outside of MAF. he becomes stagnant. his characterization doesn't really change. he keeps lying to Feyre. His actions don't really change bec the narrative doesn't challenge him to bec he's "the ideal man"

Hell Rhys taunting Tamlin in TAR was interesting and entertaining for me to read but when we get that in later books from his POV with Tamlin literally just beaten down and having had given up there is nothing to gleam from that. it's beating a dead horse, it's kicking someone while they're down. it's not taunting, it's not entertaining where someone can snap back, it's just demeaning and cruel at that point like fuck just leave him alone and maybe stop trespassing

I'd probably view Nesta and Rhys' beef differently if he didn't abuse political and magical power over her- if the narrative itself didn't immediately side with Rhys as objectively in the right despite lying and abusing his power over her. and maybe to an extent I'd forgive it if we had more scenes with them where they, more or less, buried the hatchet and let their relationship actually develop and build nuance

he gets boring. no one pushed back against him in a way that actually challenges the plot or Rhys, outside of Maybe Nesta when she told Feyre about the pregnancy but even then that went out of its way to vilify Nesta and not Rhysand for putting the gag order in place in the first place

like maybe if SJM committed to a Side with Rhys or actually got the plot to challenge him and give him actual growth I'd be more interested in his character. Right now he's just boring. and he's a dick. and not in the way I find very entertaining in characters

[obligitory-fma-blog]

I watched the second fma Netflix adaptation. Here’s the best of my notes:

They had the whole fma original soundtrack to use for this movie and tHEY DIDNT??

Purification arts of Xing?? Just call it Alcehestry like they do in the show?? (No I didn’t spell it right I was noting stuff as I went and didn’t look it up)

Okay the weird pause before Lan Fan pulled out the smoke bomb…

ITS AN ACTUAL BOMB?????

Lots of weird pauses and slow-mo’s to mimic anime fights but it reads weird as live action and I don’t like it

HUGHES THANK FUCK PLEASE MAKE THIS LESS WEIRD

Wtf never mind hi envy with your shit ass wig (I forgot they killed off Hughes in the first one 😭😭)

LAN FAN BODIED HIM LMAO

Ed really be like “you do you ig”

“Yeah people exploding today!” Is my favorite line so far. (English Captions with Japanese audio; this was the train hijacker guy from fma 03)

Ed’s expression when Mustang shows up is the most in character thing I will say that (after train stuff)

I will say they did better on characterization this time around I feel like they’re close to the actual characters

But it’s hard to get close to them since they aren’t, well, animated characters. Trying not to judge too harshly.

Not terrible so far actually

Okay nevermind about the cgi WHAT IS WITH XIAOMEI

“I mean, we’re just some decent human beings.” -Ed who wanted to leave Mei behind

GO OFF MEI YEAHHHH TELL HIM THE BITCH

Okay we’re gonna have a really awkward explosion-over-short moment that just will not work because it isn’t animated

GIRLIE ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE

Mei being a bitch back is warranted

They be running

“You’ll never catch me, tiny rice man!” -Mei (rice man?)

The dialogue being altered where Ed says he doesn’t have a god to pray to before scar kills him bothers me

I like Alphonse’s movements on the ground when he’s incapacitated, I think the cgi works well there

Hi Mustang good on you for saving your pseudo sons

Riza with the side eye lmao

The slowmo’s again like hello

ARMSTRONG HIIIII You look really fuckin weird tho But HIIIIII

Okay the flexing I can do without thanks it looks weird

Yes Breda why is he shirtless

The red eyes don’t look good either. (For scar)

N ow see why wouldn’t you put in a leitmotif for the brothers theme in this scene with Ed and Al and instead just put in sad piano that sounds vaguely similar to it

WHERES THE LINE ABOUT THEM BEING BROKEN BUT ALIVE WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE THAT

Riza being the best and putting her coat over Ed >>>>

Mustang go comfort your son’s PLEASE

Okay just ignore that I’m on the found family train

Girlie that looked like a bad PowerPoint presentation WHY WOULD YOU DO IT LIKE THAT?? (The part where the officer shot the ishvallen child)

Gluttony… hi… again…. Can’t wait for your cgi…. (It didn’t look as bad tbh)

Sorry but with the military uniform off and just the white collared shirt he looks LIKE A DAD LIKE CMON (Mustang)

“You’ve grown… at least I think.” -Hoenhiem, observational genius

“I think I like this scene better than canon a bit actually? Cause Ed gets to express his emotions more than just calling him a bastard

Okay Hoenhiem just ignore him??

Uh oh they have to walk back together

“Our hair matches :D” -Hoenhiem

Ed immediately takes his out of the ponytail

Im not gonna lie I chuckled at that

Also I love seeing Ed with his hair down we don’t get enough of that

“stop following me” -Ed

“we’re going to the same place? 😥” -Hoenhiem

Okay we’re talking about Xerxes instead of Ed and Al’s mom or…?

And the bitch is gone

YOURE GOING TO XERXES WITH AUTOMAIL YOU DUMBASS YOURE GONNA OVERHEAT

Ooooo love the look of Xerxes ruins

Awwww Winry’s parents :D we get more of them

They’re gonna die tho and I hate that :(

This is gonna be so hard wrenching actually-

GIRL IM GONNA CRY

5 minutes into Central and you’re already causing trouble, good job Ed

Al I feel like has the weakest characterization so far in this adaptation he’s just reacting to stuff rather than doing stuff as far as I’ve seen

Scar when Winry is having a breakdown🧍

Ruhroh Winry’s got a gun

Okay the slowmo makes more sense here

Ed saves the day :D

Also we finally see scars brother after getting no context on him

Good acting on Lan Fan’s part

Also why is this calling her Ran Fan? Is that a dub thing (they called Ling “Lin” but this was all in the captions so I’m confused)

“King Bradley is a Homonculus” very serious Ling “hUh.” -Ed

Any Mustang and Hughes content is good Mustang and Hughes content I don’t make the rules

Also it’s good they didn’t change the layout of Riza’s explanation montage for Ishval because it works really well in canon and translated pretty well to live action

Riza and Roy’s speeches near the end >>>

Oh great the bros are gonna try and catch scar alone this can only end well

Well they definitely didn’t catch him

WINRY HOW TF ARE YOU HERE??

MUSTANG WHY TF ARE YOU HERE???

Oh hi Riza :D

Mustang’s like “let ur gf speak to him if she wants like damn”

Ed’s like “bb girl if he says anything shitty I’ll fight for you”

WINRY GIRLBOSS LUV HER

“Hell no I don’t forgive you for shit, but I’m gonna patch you up anyway.” -Winry

Okay cool message, someone must endure pain if it means they can prevent further suffering and cycles of violence

Uh oh Gluttony escaped

He be runnin

YEAH ED AND AL SAVE UR DAD

YEAH SCAR SAVE WINRY

YEAHHHHHH

“Wait I won’t leave you behind” MUSTANG BEING A DAD AHEGWIWNWN

“Colonel your fight is elsewhere” SCREAMING

Oh hi envy

ED SAVINF LING

and they got eaten lmao

Yay we’re all trapped in Gluttony’s stomach :D

Envy is so cynical what a bitch lol

“Tf is a portal of truth 🧍” -Ling

Oh great we’re gonna get cgi envy this will go well right?

EW

Could be worse but

EW

Conclusion: it was okay. There were parts I genuinely liked. There are things that also bug me to no end. The soundtrack from the original series would’ve fit way better and a lot of times it sounded like an off brand marvel track. Acting and cgi was a lot better (at times.) An improvement on the first one, and a semi-worthwhile watch if you have nothing else to do and you like fma. Cannot and will never be a substitute for the original obviously. Seems like less of a cash grab and more of a genuine effort this time which I appreciate. Overall? 6.5/10

(Lemme know if y’all want my full notes version because it has way more of me screaming and being goofy)

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Now unto Volume 1 - Chapter 5-6. Doubling it today! I'll start cutting posts like this with "Keep Reading" so it won't be so long.

Awww. So they ARE still working at the cashier in the manga, and they STILL get to bully Vash. Lmao.

Oh... These poor ladies. So, they have to work on TWO jobs to earn their stay on the ship.

Let me just appreciate this hilarious drawing of Vash. He's so mad at how good Meryl and Milly are at their jobs that he looks constipated. ROFL.

This conversation is different from '98. Instead of foreshadowing something about Vash, the ominous line points more towards the Bad Lads Gang's arrival.

Sigh. Another one into the album of Pretzel Vash. Why must Vash be so extra? Why must Nightow always draw him extra. LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!!! Not to mention his crotch in full display.

There he is! Brilliant Dynamites Neon. IMHO, this double page spread it much more impressive and intimidating in the manga. The build up in '98 was good but I think the neon colors from the lights took away the impact of a reveal like this. The simple contrasts of the black, white, and gray looks better.

Oh my. This looks gorgeous. Wow.

Is it just me or does Nightow do a lot of double page art in one chapter? Maybe I'm just imagining it.

Oh yeah. I forgot about this! These poor ladies were sleeping the shelves. Good heavens!

Oh. This is different from '98. Very very different!

WTF?!

WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?! WTF?!

I was about to say I like the aesthetic of this scene in '98, then these panels happened. Holy shit! I take it back! This is so much better! Felt like a jump scare while reading.

Then we suddenly have a goofy Vash! The whiplash in the manga is adapted well to '98. Tristamp is firmly on the dark angst train tho.

A very interesting composition here.

Instead of Brilliant Dynamites being drawn in full detail, only his head, fingers, and collar well. The speed lines expresses the motion of the ship really well WHILE SHOWING AT THE SAME TIME, how Brilliant Dynamites rose from the dark shadows and captured the ship at the palm of his hand. Nice.

Now, on to the next chapter!

It's a really tiny bit from this panel, but the manga Insurance Ladies always seems to "be ready for action" while their '98 counterparts are more of "think before leaping" with their characterizations.

This is just as awful as it was in '98. Ok... maybe not. The anime draws this out a lot more - the advantage of the medium in amping up the horror.

Same case here.

And here.

Gotta say. '98 was extremely faithful with these panels. No re-arrangement of the sequence or change of lines whatsoever. These panels were just that good especially the next one.

This is just as cool if not more - again because of the contrast.

Hmmm. I like how '98 took liberties here and have the kid mouthing off at Vash.

I LOVE MERYL AND MILLY SO MUCH!!!

Again with the whiplashes but on hindsight, this is just fucking painful. Poor Vash.

The way how it seems like Vash is talking to himself, but really it's just to distract and motivate the kid in to saving everyone on the ship.

Finally! I totally forgot his name. Kaite!

LMAO. Here is another whiplash. However, it's for the best. It's a good thing to acknowledge and regret a mistake. However, moving forward to overcome it is very important too - no matter how painful and awful it's going to be.

I love Vash so much.

...

...

...

WAIT A MOMENT! SO, THE EPISODE WITH THE LADY WHO WAS TRYING TO GET REVENGE ON VASH WAS AN ANIME ORIGINAL?!!! IT WAS FILLER?!

[stickyspeckledlight]

Belated 3.2 thoughts! Tagging @harmonysanreads tho bc I feel that I have extra to say that you’ll find *interesting* (it’s the bottom section lol, u can skip over my nitpicky castorice thoughts)

Screaming is in the read me, my moots do not need a whole ass block of text to sift thru

Bro wtf why can’t these people be happy istg—

So, everything in order: anaxa, castorice, and then herta and the express

Anaxa was honestly the highlight for me. I honestly did, when I first saw him, thought he’d be kinda boring, since he’s the third kinda rude smarty smart male scholar character hyv has released (I.e Alhaitham and ratio). But they managed to make him standout; it’s really amazing how characterization and more importantly, motive, do end up making all three of them so distinct from each other.

I’ve seen some ppl say they disliked the anaxa and council of elder stuff the most, so it seems I’m the minority, but I did quite like it. I am a sucker for political intrigue, so I did find that enjoyable; and while he did get relegated to exposition, I found myself forgetting it was exposition and time bc goddamn cerces/calypso is such a fucking troll and shit talker. Like, deadass I LOVE her bc she’s just so classy and sassy. Her and Anaxa’s interactions are second only to him and aglaea who are funny bc they can’t hate each other that much like omg

And also. Just seeing him being autistic as fuck is nice. How many people do you think laugh in madness while ripping a coreflame from their chest? And don’t get me started on THAT cutscene of him at the assembly. While the beginning with him might’ve dragged on it a bit, for the most part I think he was used well and didn’t overstay his welcome too much…which, speaking of…

Castorice. She’s well written and I have a much better opinion of her than I did before. Unlike with firefly, they actually TOLD US HER BACKSTORY IN THE MAIN FUCKING STORY RATHER THAN PUT IT IN AN SUPPLEMENTAL ANIMATED SHORT (I am still baffled to this day by the…choices made with firefly. Like, she’s not a particularly complicated or even unique character—but they put more time into a cute date than…than actually telling us wtf her deal was. At least it was funny that we were allowed to be mad sus abt her lmaooo).

But…if I’m being honest, her animated short, which did play during the game, and that ending stretch with polyxia, is kinda the peak of her character, in terms of my personal emotional investment.

Conceptually, I think she’s a really unique spin of these sorts of Grim Reaper characters—for one, I think the philosophy of death she grew up with actually really added to her, and the fact she has every reason to be anything but the kind hearted and compassionate girl we meet is admirable. She has a really beautiful story all things considered; unable to embrace people without them withering, cursed to always be alone and distant from people, who still kept her kind heart even if it really just was causing her pain, then trying to defy her fate before she does end up sort of succumbing to it, but weirdly ends up there by her own hand; I like how she questioned her fate, of if she should become the demigod, and dreaming of ridding the world of death (because shes been forced to be surrounded by it far too much, bc like, that executioner shit. That honestly ducks if up if nothing else—), only to conclude that she will not do so, but ensure that death can be peaceful, and bear it as it’s on the same coin just as life is. This is kinda of a botched telling of it, but it really is a beautiful story.

If only it wasn’t so…so dragged down.

Hyv games in general have this problem of overly poetic and dense language—which, is a side effect of it being written in Chinese, which is a language that’s able to be much denser. There’s not much getting around it, but at some point I really was just skipping thru castorice’s story at points bc I was feeling myself lose all mental cognitive ability. And like. I am quite literally a person who does talk like I’m in a book to some extent (don’t think abt how bricked my social aptitude had to be for that to even develop rofl). Usually, this aspect of hyv writing doesn’t tend to really bother me—and I mean, I was even able to enjoy and get really absorbed in the part of the quest everyone else was complaining about.

Maybe it’s just because I knew what was coming with castorice—while she has a really good premise, it was also just really obvious what her arc was going to be. “I can’t understand why people embrace death” well it’s because death gives meaning to peoples lives, as it grants access to the riveting pleasures of the “finite.” But I’ve seen things coming for lots of other characters in this very game like Aven, rappa, and March 7th in her SQ—but I still found myself super invested in them over all. Idk, it just rubs me the wrong way—for all intents and purposes, I should’ve enjoyed cas’ story just as much as I do thinking abt it and all of the beauty surrounding it but…yea, idk, I just didn’t bc at a certain point, I just couldn’t stand all of the waxical prose. I think it might just be her voice acting though—the VA didn’t do a bad job, she was clearly given a direction…but I just didnt like that direction (sorta like with Acheron; she’s also a character I got rlly annoyed with bc of how long her dialogue dragged on lol). Ik her voice is supposed to be soft and gentle, but it ends up making her really not inflect that much? And idk, she’s clearly capable of wider ranges, like back in 3.1 at the grove while being sus of cerces, but her voice acting in this patch just didn’t work for me. Sure, Black Swan does have a really bad curse of only ever being used for exposition, but cmon. Her voice is so nice. And somehow her VA manages to always have it teeter on the edge of being suspicious like she’s always planning, always keeping a secret? Hell yeah I’m listening to her yap.

Still, I think it boils down to: good story, with middling presentation thru out for the most part, and bc of my personal tastes ig, it just didn’t make me fall head over heels with our girl. Which is a shame, but. Y’all will be damned if you don’t see me yap more abt her positively, bc outside of that, I do like her story, and I do wanna gush abt her a little bit. Far from my favorite character, maybe a b tier in terms of how much I actually do like her, but damn boy if I don’t wax abt her thematics a little bit—

Now. Who tf is lygus? wtf is going on with amohoreus??? Is amphoreus just a vessel to keep a lord ravager at bay, which is what makes it continue being cyclical? And again WHO TF IS LYGUS AND WHY DOES HE KNOW ABT AEONS BC HDHDNSNSMSKSSJSJBDHD

Ahem. Now. For what I really do want to talk abt…

@harmonysanreads

I hear you are a debater. And in this patch, we hear phainon excellently apply and use ethos in his speech to the assembly. We get to see anaxa be a little shit there too, and Caenis being a delightful slime ball of a woman.

Phainon is apparently a great debater, and so I must ask…does this part of him, the master orator, so bold he made the gamble of deadass calling everyone there vermin (well, not really, but it was going to cause hella offense no matter what), also elicit praise from you? How would you rate his public speaking skills? How do you think of a man who can be so kind be such a bold orator? Sure, he’s defo not as ruthless as anaxa or even aglaea (but ngl. I want more scenes of aglaea being a sly little slime ball too. Maybe I just love her voice too much but like…powerful scary woman with a sliver tongue yknow). But he’s a hero, so he does know when to stand up for himself and those he protects. So. Um. Idk I think what I’m trying to say is: do you feel like simping more? Bc ngl, the combo of warrior and good public speaker is doing things to me, AND HE HAS TO BE SUCH A FUCKING GOOFBALL AND CUTIE PATOOIE ON TOP OF THAT. I’m not safe. Anaxagoras pls I thought you’d be the man I’d simp for the most from here but no, it’s the fucking dumbass who sauna’d his ass in full clothes versus a guy who got his chest out bare and regularly bathed in boiling water and predictably fainted on the ground like some wet noodle that’s doing me in. Dude. He’s strong. He’s smart. He’s puppy. And he’s also somehow stupid and doing stupid shit. wtf.

Yeah anyway 3.2 overall pretty solid. Could trim some yapping but I liked it; hope to see more cipher, and holy shit you’re right anaxa is fucking dead wtf—

[productofaritual]

Have you ever thought "why did Ranboo ends up in the forest into the circle of mushrooms of Bee"? Well now you had!

This is a really fun story, everything started with the bakery— well no, everything started at my birth but that's not important. So, Niki has a bakery and I work in her bakery- wait, no, you don't know who Niki. Okey, let's start with Niki. Niki is my stepsister that I got when I was adopted! Why was I adopted you ask? Well, I was an orphan that survived the plague of 87. How? Well it was easy since I basically was born that day and- wait- AHHHHHH I got carried away again!

*sigh*

Everything started at my birth (as much as I don't want to start the story of everything that happens in his life there. Can you believe it? I have to explain my birth every time I need to tell someone something that happened this morning! Unbelievable).

So, let's do this fast. I got alive- i mean- I was born in the ending of the plague of 87 by a mother and a father. They died, I didn't. Sad sad story. I got adopted in the forest between my original town and the town that Niki's family was visiting (they have relatives there, although they didn't visit any more after that. Huh, I wonder why).

I acquire a sister and father and a mother. The mother dies when I was young (Niki was like 8 years when that happens. Oh, did I already say that we are 5 years apart?). Lived in this town since then!

Uh, what I was talking about?

Oh, yeah, the bakery. Niki started to bake when our mother died because she did it a lot (I think, I was like 5 then). So she baked and baked and baked until she was really good. And then she started to gift baked goods and gift and gift and gift until everyone loved her baked goods! And then she decided to open a bakery! Dream acquired and happy story ends! (Not really Niki and our father argued a lot for the bakery. In the end they stopped talking...).

Uh, yeah. So, I work in my sister's bakery! Helping her is great (even if I can't do much) and I attend the people so she can stay in the kitchen (even if I have terrible anxiety and I think they hate me)... *sigh* but mostly I help by fixing my own mistakes. Like giving the wrong order to Miss.Bitteranwet and then running to her house to give her the good one. Or when I was mopping the floor so no one would slip with the cream that I dropped, only to slip 15 times doing that and hurt myself enough to get thrown at home to rest.

Uh

Yeah

...*looks sad at the floor that he is mopping*

The point was, I fucked up that day (also). It was a festival order of cake made of berries and, yeah, the floor eated like 6 cakes. Niki is never mad with me, or sad when one of her perfect creations is wasted on the floor. But that day it was important and she just, froze. I tried apologising and asking if we had time to make more and then mopping the crime scene and...she wasn't responding. So I just took care of it, like she always does for me. I think she had so much stress that seeing that broke her and needed a little time to come back.

Anyhow, we needed more berries, from the forest.

The fairy forest.

Great.

You know how that ends, don't you?

It ends great!

Tripping and falling into the door of the most maniac looking fairy he's ever seen.

Absolutely great.

The fact that this could genuinely just be the start of a fic is just the greatest actually. Cmon, go write it, ik you want to ;) /nsrs

(How did you manage to get better Ranboo characterization in three minutes than me in six months wtf)

It's a very cool start to the story tho I could absolutely see it

[aewrie]

chewing up tdp bc its been couple weeks now that i finished it and im still just. sigh

im just going to go in random order as things come to mind but first off, aaravos/his backstory

for a show that talks a lot about love and acceptance and breaking the cycle that whole thing is certainly. hmmmm you mean to tell me the powers that be got a young autistic child executed for not understanding/following rules, the justification for which p much amounts to Because Reasons, and thus the grieving father thus becomes the main villain by wanting to pay back for the suffering caused and tearing down the system that caused this death. this is literally why the entire main plot happens. and we, the audience, are supposed to root for the Good Guys working to uphold this status quo. bc this guy is just evil and therefore change bad. no need to examine these Rules even tho right from the start the main characters have been challenging them ALSO. callum becomes a mage and thats celebrated as something awesome. but its literally in conflict with the rules that say no magic for humans, magic for humans bad?? which is why leola had to die??? logic and consistency??? (and idk what the reception really has been for leola among the fans/viewers but i just feel iffy about how she was introduced to us like look how autistic she is! only to be immediately killed off arguably for being autistic.)

amaya. after season 1 or two i saw someone comment on how the representation was handled and how more often than not her scenes/how she communicates with others is written like she's mute, not deaf. and boy it just gets worse over time. p sure there'd be less to fix if they had made her mute actually. lip reading is Not that reliable! its a ton of guesswork! and wtf is her interpreter doing half the time. why's he standing behind her when on the job. why's she not looking at him when he is translating. i liked her character overall but this like. please.

characterization inconsistency hhhh wtf is claudia doing at the end. what's her end goal. "I know." then WHY. she was doing all of that bc she desperately clung to what family she had left, like it was concerning how far she was willing to go for that reason, and suddenly its nwm. she knew she's not getting her father back all along but she's still onboard bc ???? yes they were trying to make aaravos a father figure to her SORT OF but that was something he said, that HE sees his dead child in her and cares for her, while claudia never, to my recollection, expressed that she thought of him as a father figure. mentor, i could agree on. a family member no.

ezrans sudden thirst for vengeance and need to amass weapons of mass destruction as a scare tactic is. wtf. if you wanna do that story arc for your gentle caring child king you need to do it way sooner than halfway through the last of seven entire seasons only to flip it back around at last minute again this is where it felt particularly glaring how stilted Moving Speeches were exactly as effective as the writers needed them to be, regardless of if it made sense for the character to react a certain way

back onto claudia for a sec recovering from losing a limb isnt that simple and thats also Not how prosthetics work, im begging childrens cartoon writers to look up one (1) youtube video of an amputee explaining their prosthetic/showing how they put it on/literally Anything

final showdown callum why the fuck are you monologuing about how you are going to defeat aaravos instead of just fucking doing the damn thing. ofc i know this is bc we need the Emotional Impact of he is about to sacrifice himself and oh no rayllum no more :( but that was so stupid and drawn out. you could have communicated that information in other ways without relying on guy explains his plan to the enemy, thus obliterating his chances of successfully executing said plan ezran+zyms role here also was just. what. whats the deal with the nova blade. i forgot the damn thing. then just whoops it was right here all along!! didn't need to look further actually :) and then its just. not useful at all, or maybe part of some plan of aaravos' that just. doesnt get elaborated on. two child kings rush to the scene to save the day for absolutely no real reason, no gain.

ZYM. one of my biggest pet peeves with fictional creatures is when they are just Puppy, but not even a sorta realistic puppy, but rather the pop culture perception of how a dog acts. panting and yipping and wagging tail. the future king of dragons is a dog that follows around this human kid. whoo. that said i did like him at first. them he turned into little more than a cute/cool animal mascot, for the most part, and i was just. sigh. youd think the character after whom the show is named had more to him but i guess no. (him suddenly talking at the end was also. Not how i wouldve done that (he goes from yipping puppy to fully articulate teenager in no time??) but oh well)

speaking of animal mascots/companions i accepted bait. i am not a fan of this trope of cute/quirky animal companion just for the sake of cute/quirky animal companion, but i came around for bait. bait was good. then the toadlings came. i had no complaints about an episode where ezran wants to rescue animals in spite of it being a Risky move, but the toadlings tagging along after the fact was not it. they added nothing as companions. nothing except this forced look how cute, dont you love them? :) imo the team shouldve found another home for them, or at the very least, not taken them along for their adventures. rayla's monkey pet similar situation. couldve written that out and not lost anything of substance. think that was actually where it started feeling like Look at this cute/cool/quirky Marketable easy-to-make-into-a-plush animal companion! dont you want one? you do want one :) toward the end much of the magical creatures felt less like thought out parts of the world and more like marketing opportunities (you too can have an awesome super cool magical mount!! just buy all of our rpg game stuff!!)

tone was a struggle in points. the show was trying too hard. humour especially. at times its like i could feel them telling me i should be laughing now.

some of this i could brush off with its a children's cartoon, im just not the target audience, but many relevant criticisms are things i didn't like back when i was a kid either. eg funny/cute animal sidekick who serves no purpose beyond being funny/cute has forever been one of my least favourite type of characters. the toadlings are just prime example of that.

i was optimistic after the very start bc i knew the people behind this can do a good story, but then it just kept stumbling along with the writing, worse as the seasons went. last couple ones i wasnt really excited anymore as much as just thinking well i gotta know how it ends after getting this far, and hoping itd surprise me in a good way. and then the end felt less like a satisfactory wrap up for, again, SEVEN whole seasons of storytelling, and more like this was all just the setup for eventual Epic Showdown Against Evil part 2 electric boogaloo