#hopefully my answer was satisfactory ^^

[embryoed]

what made you hc transmetri ?

It just makes sense to me (^u^) he gives a very trans swag-esque vibe in general in my opinion, and also the fact that he’s never been traditionally masculine like the other male characters on the show, especially to the characters within the show (Johnny calling him “princess” in 1x06 and Hawk-phase brick eater Eli consistently using “pussy” as an insult), adds to that difference in gender identity that I’ve slapped onto him

Also, there was the one line in 2x05 where he was like “are you guys doing shirts versus skins? ‘cause I prefer to be a shirt” which makes me point at my screen like a monkey in an enclosure going “transmetri REAL!!!” before being dragged away to the insane asylum (also the fact that we actually never see him without a shirt ever)

Also also it’s just fun d(^_^o) It’s become a more personal thing as time passed, especially bc on TikTok when I post edits of him I put the trans and mlm flags as borders and other ppl have been like “omg trans Demetri real” so it’s also kind of a shared-headcanon thing that makes it extra special for me :o]

[burningcheese-merchant]

just watched ES’s trailers, and I wanted a second opinion. Is there anything that immediately resembled Greek mythology to you in either of the videos, because to me I mostly saw biblical stuff like the multiwinged ES.

i guess it makes sense considering her design, but I feel like we got biblical allusions with SM and I’ve gotten so used to Greek-inspired ES that id be disappointed if she wasn’t, yknow?

Yes, actually! Let's pull out the title screen they revealed to show you what I mean

First thing is that little dude on the right haha. Pavlova Cookie greatly resembles Eros (most people know him by his Roman name, Cupid), son of Greek goddess Aphrodite and god of love and sexual desire. A talented archer, he would take aim at gods and men alike and shoot them down with his arrows, causing them to fall in love with who or whatever they're looking at (Aphrodite often had him do this to specific people she told him to, to suit her own goals/purposes. She's a horrifying combination of vindictive mean girl and wannabe matchmaker. Methinks Eternal Sugar employs Pavlova in a similar way)

I know the place gives "Garden of Eden" vibes, which is fair and true (but a little lame tbh). But I personally think it looks just as much like the Garden of the Hesperides, a fabled lush garden from Greek myth where trees bearing fruit that granted immortality grew (and were guarded by the Hesperides, daughters of the titan Atlas). The fruit in question are golden apples. What's that in that little snake's clutches over there, next to Eternal Sugar? A golden apple :)

It's more apparent in another picture (see attached, in the lower right corner), but: the architectural style of the place is very much Greek. The columns are ionic, which is a column design/style created by Ionian Greeks around the 6th century BC. Ionic columns are primarily characterized by the spiral scroll pattern at the top

Eternal Sugar's dress is actually quite Greek-looking. Obviously it's not 1:1, this is a cartoony video game not a historical documentary, but that style is very Greco-Roman. Look up traditional ancient Greek tunics/chitons and other attire, especially for women, and you'll see what I mean

She's actually not holding a harp. That is a lyre, a stringed instrument that's similar to a harp. The lyre is a common and beloved instrument in Ancient Greek culture and myth, most notably played by Apollo, god of the sun and music, and Hermes, god of travelers and thieves (and a lot of other things, he's a bit of a jack of all trades). The former also gifted a golden lyre to the famous Greek hero/protagonist Orpheus, who was a master musician and used that lyre to charm Hades and Persephone into agreeing to let him lead his deceased love Eurydice out of the Underworld (if you know that story, you know how it ends...)

Again, I understand that the place bears resemblance to Eden. Which it does. But aside from that, and aside from the nod to the Garden of the Hesperides, the whole thing reminds me of the island of the Lotus Eaters, a location stumbled upon by Odysseus and co. on their journey back home from the Trojan War during Homer's Odyssey. In that place are flowers that are exceptionally beautiful and even more delicious - but they're cursed. Eating them turns you into an addict almost immediately, and they rob you of your memories and will to do anything or leave the island at all. Odysseus lost a few of his men to them. I get the impression that the foods in the Sugar Paradise are like those lotuses, and Holly and co. run the risk of becoming Lotus Eaters too

To bring up the Odyssey again, Eternal Sugar herself gave me a lot of Circe + Calypso vibes in the trailer. Both are women who fell for Odysseus upon meeting him and trapped him on their islands for a time, using magic to control and manipulate him (Circe is a goddess of sorcery, Calypso is a magic-using nymph). Other people had to intervene on Odysseus's behalf to free him from their spells; otherwise, he would've stayed stuck forever. Sugar seems a bit like them; developing an attachment to Holly (both because she wants the Soul Jam back, and out of genuine sentiment. Remember that the Ancients and Beasts are canonically soulmates) and luring her into her strange, "happy" world and trying to trap her there forever

I'm a little disappointed with the nods to Christianity ngl. I love Christian/Abrahamic lore and symbolism very much, but I didn't want that for Sugar. We already had it for Shadow Milk. I wanted Sugar to be 100% Greek, but... no, I guess lol. Gotta have Eden and those little cherub looking guys and the snake with the apple. It gets boring after a while. Christianity is the most famous religion to ever exist in the history of the world, EVERYONE knows Christian iconography to some degree, why can't we have something different for once. Mystic Flour and Burning Spice were awesome in that they leaned into cultures that don't get a lot of recognition in the West (China and India), you know? Yes, Greece is "the West" as well, but idk. I'm just tired of the same Christian imagery always being used. And I say that as a Christian myself haha

⭐ I forgot to add this lol. I suppose the Christian imagery isn't entirely out of place necessarily, because Greece actually is deeply Christian and has been for an extremely long time (Greek Orthodox. Ancient Greek is actually the first language the Bible was translated into, fun fact!). But even so. I wanted Greek mythology, not Abrahamic religion lol

[magical-girl-trucy]

I love your werewolf au! I am curious, how do were-animals…happen in this universe? Is it different for both of them (them being the 2 known were creatures in your AU)? Or is it some genetic thing?

Thank you!!! So all wereanimals happen genetically, but not everyone who has the "were-gene" so to say is a wereanimal. For example, Metis passed it on to Athena, but Metis herself was not a werewolf—she had no idea such a thing exists.

I'm thinking there's 2 different "types" of werewolves. Any animal can be either type.

1.) The one I've already shown aka Athena and Apollo. Their shift will happen at a certain time each lunar cycle and will be consistent each month (for Thena, it just so happens to coincide with the full moon). They will be locked in that animal form for the next couple of days. They can take on minor changes to their human form to call the shift forward to happen a little sooner than normal, but that's the furthest extent of the control they have.

2.) The rarer of the two. Has complete control over their transformation and can go into their form 100% form at will. This can *only* be done at night. They cannot willingly enter a 50% transformation. Also, going too long without any shift will cause a forced transformation. This forced transformation acts the same way as type 1 but with added physical pain (type 1 causes no physical pain unless they try to hold the shift back)

No matter which type the person is, the first transformation is completely uncontrollable and unpredictable. Type 1 happens roughly around the age of 18, while Type 2 can happen any time after puberty.

"Why put so much thought into different types of wereanimals when only one type is important due to our titular Athena being the focus?"

It's called. It's called being suddenly struck with an idea. An idea I shouldn't indulge but I absolutely will because my friend indulges my sillyness.

[queenharumiura]

Dino x Squaletta opinion

[My KHR ship game] ||Accepting|| @squaletta Reminder: As with the last one, take my thoughts with a grain of salt because I can only work based off what I know of Squaletta and I don't know too much of her yet.

Just like with the one with Tsu-chan, take everything with a grain of salt as I don't really know her and her background. Forgive any inaccuracies, I did my best.

Hate it | Am Neutral to it | Ship it | love it! |

Readmore

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Aiya… well—just like with the fem!Tsuna one, it’s a lil difficult to speak on, but this one is harder because Squaletta doesn’t have much information about her written. So I’m a bit uncomfortable with assessing what ranking to give the ship and then speak about the ship and then perhaps talking about cute ideas… because I don’t know enough information. However, you obviously know that I don’t know much about her, and still wanted to hear my thoughts anyways, so I assume you’re willing to read even if I get things glaringly wrong about Squaletta. So, like with Tsu-chan’s, take what I say with the grain of salt.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s start!

Like with the other one, I’m neutral about the ship to possibly being okay with shipping it because well- I know that you have a ship going on with Whiskey’s Dino and it’s interesting to look at so ye I can say that I ship it (thereby accepting it), but I personally don’t know much about Squaletta so I personally don’t feel strongly about the ship, so I’m more neutral about it, if that makes sense. It’s somewhere in between, I guess you could say.

So, I do have some information from the time we were discussing Haru’s Varia!Au, but I won’t really go into details of what was said because that is your story to tell when you write it for Squaletta’s blog. I don’t know who else may know the information or not, and I won’t spoil it. However, I will take what I read on discord into account for what I will consider.

From what I know, she and Varia!Haru have in common that they at large don’t like to be touched by others. I’d assume that they’re okay with touch from some people but at large, they dislike being touched in general. For Haru it’s due to her trauma of being abused and harmed during the kidnapping, for Squaletta, it’s due to her past. If I read and understood correctly, I would surmise that her love for stabbing can be attributed to the fact that it is the act that allowed her to run away from a wretched fate. To her, it was her salvation, it is what granted her the freedom to make life her own. By stabbing, she could reclaim her life, and so she likes it. IF I am correct in that assessment, it is an important point of distinction apart from Squalo who likely just likes the way of the blade and such because he was good at it, he could prove/boast his skills, and it was something that he could hone by using all the abilities he possesses in his body.

It isn’t to say that Squaletta wouldn’t also enjoy the thrill of battle, that she wouldn’t enjoy fighting as a means to prove herself, but it is to say that the core of where the interest may have come from is different. One may have liked it to begin with as a way to exert his power and show off his skill where hers first came about as a means to protect herself and gain her freedom. Taking this into account, it would be likely that freedom and a strong sense of self is incredibly important to her. Which would then make sense (along with her past) why you mentioned how she wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship with Xanxus because of the way he acts. It is something that she wouldn’t be able to tolerate, which contrasts Squalo who does tolerate a lot of Xanxus’s bullshit.

No, I am not saying that Squaletta cannot handle his bullshit. It means that from a romantic standpoint she wouldn’t tolerate it, whereas Squalo just might. ANYWAYS, it’s not important. This part was mostly me bringing up areas where they contrast. Makes you wonder about her motivations for allying with Xanxus and why she supports him in this verse. Maybe they’re the same, maybe they’re not. I don’t have those answers, so moving on.

Being the strong and independent woman that she is, where she cares about her sense of self, her right to herself, and being in control of what happens to herself, I can see why she would like Dino. He’s a respectful guy, who is polite, and has a gentle streak to him. If that was all that was needed to interest her any kind guy would do but that’s certainly not the case. As I’ve seen that it was noted that she’s a bit of a huntress, and has the instincts of a killer/hunter, it would make sense for her to also like a man who is capable. Someone who has the ability to fend for themselves adequately is just the bare minimum. So Dino, has the gentle sides that is good, also has the rougher/more dangerous side that is also good.

It's not only exciting as it’s a bit of a gap moe kinda element, but it’s also super important from a romance perspective because being around a Varia member can mean someone could be in danger. I’m sure people can recognize the flag of the Varia and possibly also the uniform. So being seen around her is like walking around with a target. So Dino being able to protect himself is very important. He is plenty capable so as long as he’s got his famiglia around him lol. It did seem from what I’ve seen in some interactions that she likes his ditziness too, as it’s kinda cute/silly.

If you take some of those things into consideration, it gives the feel of… Squaletta having a preference towards men who not only can treat her well, but also allow her to be a woman. Those who will not look at her as any lesser of a woman because she swings swords around. Someone who will not see her as any less a woman because of her swordarm. Someone who wouldn’t demean her for being loud, bossy, having a snarky attitude, etc. Dino is a very accepting guy, so he just takes things in stride. He would accept Squaletta for who she is and not see her as any less.

He respects her and there is a healthy amount of fear, in the sense that he does not look down on her. He is well aware that if she truly wanted to, if it came down to a fight, it’s not going to be an easy one. That’s where a healthy amount of fear comes in. This means he acknowledges her skill and her ability, which I think would be very important to her. In a sphere where women may not be taken seriously, underestimated, or looked down upon, Dino’s ability to simply accept her and respect her skill is important.

With him, she can feel like a woman, because he treats her as such. Though, the important distinction I’d like to make is that though he would treat her like a woman, he doesn’t do so in a way that undermines her ability. He wouldn’t treat her like a woman in the sense that he’d treat her like she’s fragile or that she can’t do anything for herself. I strongly believe he’d still respect her autonomy and her abilities. He would just treat her like a gentleman with the necessary etiquette and suave politeness that usually sweeps women off their feet. That is the basic vibe that I get for how a relationship would work best between them.

On his end, I think important things of note is the fact that she’s such a dedicated and thorough woman. She’s strong and independent. She’s stubborn and tough as nails. She will not budge when it comes to her ideals, her motives, her goals, etc. She’s so dedicated to becoming who she wants to be, and always improving herself. She is what you call a self-made woman and that’s so impressive when he was born into having a solid history line backing him. It was said that the Cavallone famiglia was struggling financially and such for a while until he came into power and he built things back up to what they are today and that alone should really tell you how capable he is. He’s intelligent and he’s skilled (with his famiglia around). He is able to handle Hibari Kyouya for pete’s sake.

Not only that, he is a great judge of character, knowing just what to do to get Hibari to listen to him. THIS shows that he’s really good at assessing people and understanding them. Perhaps he’s very empathetic. This is very important to note as it can then add another layer to Squaletta, where he may have noted things about her, like she doesn’t like to be touched, and that she can be harsh as a way to protect herself and that’s just what helped protect her when growing up. She does have a softer side to her. She loves it when people admire her and respect her because it is like a reward for all of her struggles. He can notice the small things that some other people may otherwise look over because they are so startled by her rough personality.

For a person who has a good eye and notices things about you, it may bring about a sense of trust and willingness to open up. For a person like Squaletta, that would have to be important bc I doubt she really opened herself up to many people. I think… Dino would know that having gone to the same school as her, he’d probably seen just how standoffish she can be to those she thought were too weak or those that weren’t worth trusting. If so, he knows that her opening up to him and trusting him is a big deal. Given who Dino is, and how he greatly appreciates bonds (look at how he’s ready to jump onto a jet plane the moment he hears something happened in Japan lol) he would not be blind to the fact that Squaletta is trusting him and opening up to him.

It would be a thing to feel honored by. The way that they can just banter with each other is fun and a way for them to kinda flirt in a harmless way. I think, Dino being who he is made it easier for Squaletta to be more feminine and to embrace it around him. She knows that he wouldn’t judge her for being more feminine despite being an assassin or her usual demeanor. If she had a moment of being more feminine just because she wanted to, he would simply comment on how she looked lovely or something. He wouldn’t comment about how it was out of place for her or anything because he wouldn’t believe that. Whatever Squaletta wants to be IS her, so there’s nothing out of place for it.

For someone who was an orphan, had a lot of struggles growing up, and has to constantly prove herself and her skills, someone who is so accepting is like a breath of fresh air. For him, he can watch her journey and I’m willing to bet he feels PROUD of her for all that she’s accomplished. He loves to watch her over the years and see just how accomplished she is. There isn’t much of a place where he is overly worried about her or anything and it’s because of all the trust he has in her skills. He knows if she mentions something about a dangerous mission, he KNOWS she’ll come back. That’s his Squaletta, a powerful woman.

He would probably see her strength as a beautiful thing. Her resilience is beautiful, and it’s praiseworthy. Though she had to be a killer essentially from a young age, she made the best of her situation and she rose to great heights. She is a vice commander now, and that’s so impressive. I think he would admire how far she’s come and I think she would respect his efforts as well, bringing the name of the Cavallone famiglia back up with his hard work.

They have a sense of respect for one another, though I think she may sometimes feel fed up with how kind he can be, ahaha, and the way he’s so close to Tsu-chan. Though like with Xanxus, I think Squaletta would come to terms with the idea that yeah… okay… this lil brat may have what it takes to be the next boss. FINEEEEE I’ll accept her—MAYBE!!!! B/

At least I think I’ve noticed that sometimes she can be fed up with how gentlemanly he can be at times, and I think in those instances it can probably come back to the fact that while she normally dislikes it when people touch her, if she’s decided she’s okay with someone touching her—she is totally okay with it. She wants it. Stop pussy footing around!!! Touch her already! She’s waiting for it!!! Is how I see it and rationalize it. I could be wrong, but that’s what my gut tells me.

I think in that case Dino would eventually learn that it’s okay to touch her and maybe help her explore things in life. I don’t think he’d go past a certain threshold because he doesn’t want to actually really hurt her or do anything that he thinks would be demeaning. Ultimately he respects her and cares for her and would hate himself if he did anything that would undermine his respect for her or make it seem he didn’t respect her. So there would have to be a balance there, I’d think. So yeah, basically, I think they are an interesting pair and that they could work well.

-

Hmmm cute ideas… a lil hard to do since I’m not confident at all in my understanding of Squaletta lol.

Though I think it would be interesting if he tripped (clumsy Dino at it again!) and he touches her because she steadies him up and he realizes that he’s touching her and that she’s allowing it. Imagine that moment of him realizing that she’s wordlessly telling him how much she trusts him and is okay with him. He’d probably feel so happy and honored that she thinks that highly of his presence. AHHHHHHHH very good. TASTY.

I have ALWAYS had this notion of thought over the many years of me being a fan of KHR (I’m truly a KHR fandom senior) that I think that if Dino came to love someone and see a possible future with them, there would be a new addition to who he can be around and not be a clumsy Dino. IMAGINE his famiglia isn’t around but he’s still plenty able to exist as a regular human and not trip over his entire life every three seconds. IMAGINE Squaletta making a joke like weird, you haven’t tripped over your feet yet. Imagine a small blush on his face and he’s just ‘well… because I see you as my family’ flakdsjfalkdsfjldskf THINK ABOUT IT? HEAR ME OUT? CAVITIESSSSS THAT IS SWEET.

I just like the idea that we’ve seen Enzo end up in random ass places all the time. Dino, please invest in some special holder. Enzo has fallen into water TOO MANY TIMES. Please! Imagine Enzo just happening in Squaletta’s possession one day for who knows what reason and she has to take care of him until Dino can come pick him up (no way will she send him via mail lol). Imagine her just taking some pictures with the turtle and sending him sporadic updates so he knows the turtle is still alive and not made into soup yet. He’s just saving all the pictures because the silliness is quite cute. Just think about it and shrivel up from the wholesome. Just do it. Join the club.

I think that’s enough from me for now. I’ve talked way too much now. Pheww

[welcometoteyvat]

i am very curious (and i'm asking this not with any malicious intent) but what ages do you see the genshin characters! i personally see them (most of them) as adults, even collei. even if they were teenagers, time passes in-game (i.e. lantern rite happens every year and we already had 2 lantern rites in-game) so they'll eventually grow to be adults.

tldr: I have schrodinger's age headcanons

long answer: if they're in a ship with a ""clearly"" adult character, I'll assume they're young adults; idk I feel like there's some blurring of age and what growth stage you're in when people are around 17 to 20 (from my experience) so I think it's vague-ish enough that you could probably do what you want.

If they're not in a ship I see some of them as adults and some as still teens/underage. as a general rule of thumb a character's age is solely dependent on what I want at the moment, although I do think the way some characters are written (ie character arcs, character stories and general personality) pushes me to view them as underage (will explain more but the character I'm thinking about most w this is Xingqiu). Some of them read to me as clear adults, and then there are some in-betweens where I just have "vaguely young looking" in my hcs LOL

you bring up a good point that time is passing in game although we don't see it reflected in the character models—everyone points out that Xiao opens up a bit more every lantern rite, but fandom (and genshin devs too ig 💀) definitely forgets that all the other characters are also growing/changing. w/ 4.1 around the corner my personal wish is for hu tao, xingqiu, and chongyun's relationships to each other get developed more so that their relationships (as described through their voicelines abt each other) don't feel so flat,,,,,, it would also help with the sense of "time is passing in game for ALL characters", since we almost never get this kind of evolving relationship portrayed between 4*s/non endgame important charas.

I have too much time on my hands so I'll also just run through all the teen/short models there are for each region and list whether my personal headcanons are adult or minor (at least their ages when we "meet" them in canon):

liyue (mortal/mortal adjacent characters): yanfei, chongyun, xingqiu, hu tao, xiangling, xinyan, yun jin, keqing

yanfei and keqing are solidly adults to me, yanfei's a lawyer and keqing's also in a govt job so both of them feel around like 25-27 to me. Definitely somewhere around their mid-20s, although I can also see them as younger, especially Keqing, because of her overall attitude/perspective on life and the gods. iirc her character stories show how her worldview's grown/broadened to be not as naive/black and white, so I feel like she's still in the process of maturing. If you told me Yanfei was like 23 (appearance wise) I guess I'd believe you too, since she's a very peppy person who seems to be running all over the place all the time, doing errands for madame ping, checking on her clients, taking new cases etc. I feel like it gives her youthful energy, so I can see it if people hc her on the younger side of her 20s (in human years I forgot how her half-adeptal blood works).

I see the other 6 as a friend group (liyue 6ang let's go) so they're either all teens or all adults depending on the portrayal. You can obviously view them as adults all the time, but I don't get those vibes. Xinyan and Yun Jin might be like 18-19, but if that's the case, I can't see the other 4 being any younger than 17, just because I think they're all almost the same age or 1-2 years apart maximum. For some reason so many people view Hu Tao and Yun Jin as adults but at the same time think the others are minors? Idk about that.. genshin has shown that Xiangling, Xinyan, and Yun Jin are pretty close friends, and then always put Xingqiu and Chongyun together for the ship bait, so maybe that's the root of fanon's age hcs. However, I think if some of them are young adults, then all of them are. There's a max 2 year age gap between all 6 of them idk idk I really can't see it otherwise.

To me, Xingqiu's arc reads like a 16 year old finding his footing in the world. Hiding martial arts novels under his bed, tired of playing dutiful 2nd son and sneaking out to live out his idealized wuxia dreams, his multiple voicelines where he's implied to be super worried about us giving away his involvings in the Guhua sect, they all read like he's still trying to figure out his role in his family (what he wants it to be, and what his parents want it to be). He's also very naive about the world, but learning. He just feels a lot like how (chinese) teenagers grow up and like. growing into or out of the paths given to us by our parents. ... or i could just be projecting! Anyways, in my no ships world, he's a 16-17 yr old. Chongyun's clan and family play a not-insignificant role in his backstory, so I think he's the same age as Xingqiu, just older by a month for the flex. Lowkey I don't have as much reason for him as the others, but I think they're in the same age range by association; probably almost 18 at most. Hu Tao's character stories explicitly state she's 13 when her grandfather passed away, and I think she becomes Director not long after this, so I would say she's also around 16-17 when the game starts. @.acatoner who draws quite possibly my favorite interpretations of the gang(TM) once mentioned they see her with spoiled younger sister energy and honestly yeah. she's an only child but has the strongest solidarity with Xingqiu (they're the bratty younger siblings of the friendgroup). Out of all of them, Xiangling is the one with the most plausible job if she was like, young: being a chef apprentice with her dad to continue the family business is pretty reasonable. Middle child energy, probably 17. We did meet her when she was in Mondstadt foraging ingredients, so I'd say she's not very young, but still young enough for her dad to chew her out during moonchase for being like messy or clumsy or smth? Xinyan and Yun Jin.... I think Yun Jin is at least almost 18—running a well acclaimed opera troupe is a pretty big undertaking imo, even if her parents are there to like guide her and whatnot. Same with Xinyan, 17-18 range, although she def started playing rock publicly when she was way younger.

inazuma: shinobu, heizou, kazuha, kirara, gorou, kokomi, ayaka, yoimiya

Disclaimer I have not read the Lore and don't know whether actual ages are given for Ayaka and Ayato (specifically pointing them out because iirc their and Thoma's character stories are the most specific ones wrt the timeline).

I see basically all of them as adults, ayaka might be an exception but she's like 17 minimum in my head. That's pretty interesting considering I labeled almost all the liyue short models as teens. From what I can remember of their character stories, the Inazuman characters seem to be portrayed as having their formative struggles set In the Past (probably a couple years before we meet them) so perhaps that's why I see them as solidly young adults. Additionally, Inazuma's arc and its war pushes me to see all of them as adults, even if they're still obscenely young to be generals and strategicians. The exceptions I can see to this are only Yoimiya (smaller role in archon quest and not related to the government), and Shinobu + Heizou, who were released later. Yoimiya's maturity really stands out to me—from the way her neighbors and old people converse with her, and her overall character arc + second story quest, I cannot see her as below like 19 at least. Shinobu manages an entire unofficial gang and has countless certifications under her belt plus ex-shrine maiden stint—she probably isn't less than 23. It would be cute if she were the same age as Yanfei but just started law school later, so Yanfei's still her senior. I think there's not much to say on Heizou either, he's friends with Kazuha and has a real job, so I can't read him below 20-21. I don't know anything about Kirara (don't have her, haven't read her stories) but I also just get the vibes of like 20-something errand girl SDFDSSKDFJS in a modern au she'd deliver to teyvat/inazuma's college campus for sure

mondstadt (humans): barbara, razor, bennett, fischl, mika, amber, noelle, sucrose

this is a mix again, for Barbara Razor Bennett and Fischl they give me kid vibes, like little adventure gang things. Reddit apparently cites Mona called Fischl an adult in the 2.8 Midsummer Fantasia GAA event, so I mean. I guess she's 18 there—might've been 16 when we met in game the first time (1.2?? scaramouche fake stars event or something?) Idk really. Their group collectively gives me 16 year old vibes, at least when we start the game. I can see it if all of them have aged to 18 now—it just makes sense in my head lol. Mika feels like an 18 year old; mostly because of his relationship with Huffman. Amber seems vaguely adult-ish, I'd say 19 or so, maybe 20 during shadows amidst snowstorms in 2.3. there's some logic behind this that ties into her search for her grandfather but it's like vague and hazy in my head. I haven't given much thought to Noelle and Sucrose— Sucrose also gives "vaguely adult" vibes, idk if her character story about wanting to make a wonderland to meet her past friends in has any relevance to timeline estimation. I'd say Noelle also falls into the vague adult age range, but to me she's a puzzle, because her personality seems incongruent to how I thought she might act if she's like 23 or so.

anyways, anon if you read all this i will declare my love for you. thanks for giving me an excuse to genuinely think on this and then dump my thoughts out for the internet. you can clearly see none of my braincells really go towards Mondstadt headcanons but I hope you're happy w my response ehe

[lovinglin]

📝☕️🏷️ FOR THE ASKGAME WITH THE BEST ANGEL EVER LARA

THABK U NERO I LVPE YOU MWAMWA💖💕💖💕

📝: How would your story in canon go? How would you influence the events of the original story?

OH BOY. I'm not really sure how she'd affect the current storyline but... I can say Lara would have her own week just like everyone else!! FNF seems to be a look into the character's world/personal events in the form of weeks, so that'd apply to her too.

I've always imagined Lara's week to be plain and simple.

Bf and Gf meet her in some... alleyway or something while she's spray painting and she recognizes them (mostly from the news and such)!

She tells them she's art blocked and needs inspiration, so she asks BF if he could sing her a song which cues the first track to play where it's mostly BF singing but GF joins in too sometimes!

The song is probably just a remix of other different tracks from other weeks. I DO wanna add a sneaky though where if BF starts to sing the tracks related to Pico's week, Lara would instantly recognize it and start to sing along as well.

After the first track, BF would probs be surprised that Lara started to sing along at some point and asks her to sing with him one-on-one this time. She'd tell him she's not the greatest singer but she'll try! This cues the second track :)

Third track then moves the whole location from an alleyway to the rooftop of a building. This is because Lara invites the couple to watch the sunset with her while also singing a song since it'd be nice!

Additionally, I've always imagined the third track that would play would be Sunset Lover. (Linked the one where I imagined Lara's voice to sorta sound like, as a silly)

Mid-way the song, I also imagine that Pico would actually arrive and join the three! He doesn't sing but just stays near Lara as he vibes with them. Which kinda confirms that they both know each other :)

After that, the week ends and that's basically it!

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

OH MY GOD... I'M NOT REALLY SURE NGL. I'd like to think that ppl will try to write their own versions on how Pico and Lara met!! I've mentioned before that they both meet bc Pico (& co.) are hunting her down, so imagine many different renditions of that in their own words. Very Enemies to Lovers kinda scenario probably.

There's also another idea but HAAHHHH we're not gonna talk abt that nor am I gonna mention it here. Smile.

🏷️: What is you and your f/o’s ship name?

PICOLARA. Essentially at least bc that's the easiest way I refer to them. Heart emoji

But I'll take this as a chance to mention my ship tag for them (#♥️ we're going overdrive!) and explain it :)

I made the tag like... a REALLY while back during my first few months of shipping with Pico. And it's inspired by the song "Overdrive" by Conan Gray!

I listened to this song A LOT at first. And when I started shipping with Pico and listened to this song again, I pretty much associated it with the ship since:

I barely had any serious lore with him at the time, and imagined their relationship to be this... very spontaneous thing just like the song.

A hook-up turned serious I'd say?? That was basically it at first since I used the way the fandom portrayed Pico at that time. Which is a very different thing compared to what I have now LMAO

I've been thinking abt changing the shipname for a while now since it's no longer that accurate. But it holds so much sentimental value for me so I haven't... changed it anyway HEJAHSJDH

[a-tale-of-legends]

Im stuck in class :P

Maybe hcs for how some of your ocs/fave characters were in school? (Prolly not Luca & R.B. cause. they're in a school setting lol, but if you want to add them too that's fine!!/g)

Oooooooooo. Hmmmm. I'll do the ones that actaully went to school post their respective stories

Kiran is the funniest to me, bc even before his journey, he was like. A Top Student, the only one he competes with was his little sister. So I feel like he did pretty well in school all things considered. The only thing that would hold him back was his laziness sometimes, which would result in him cramming a lot, and then burning out immediately after, and then he would just sleep for a thousand years. It doesn't help that this guy can get stressed fairly easily so what should have been a walk in the park is just stressful to him, and he. Honestly only has himself to blame lmao. He still gets straight A's though lol.

Amber is much like her dad: deeply prefers hands on experience. Being the professors daughter, she technically was pretty much home-schooled, being allowed to travel as she please....but she did want her degree so. College it is. And maaaaaaaaaaaaan it was a drag. It wasn't terrible by any means, but anything that wasn't field research, or anything that was outside was tough for her. Being from a small town herself also kinda made her feel a bit out of place. That being said, she is grateful for the experience, especially in knowing how to handle herself in a lab + actually writing papers/ doing paperwork ( her arch nemesis btw). Still she was very happy for it to be over. She still hates doing paperwork.

Beryl is honestly like. The right in the middle between Kiran and Amber. As in they honestly had a fairly normal school life. They're decent at both indoor and outdoor activities, so honestly they're school career is pretty solid.

As for canon characters, the one that first comes to mind ( and probably the only one I'll talk about lol) is Blue.

In my canon, Blue goes to Kalos for college/university. I think in general, he does really well there. He's smart, very smart, and can apply himself greatly. However, that's kinda the broad strokes of it. In detail I think the college life is a bit of a struggle. Because it's where Blue really begins to question what he wants to do with his life. He thinks that following the path of his grandfather would suit him, and he's trying to like. Do that. He really is, and he's good at it but it just doesn't fit. So now he's forced to really think about what he wants, who he wants to be, what his legacy is, and that's honestly something he hasn't thought about....since he was a kid really. Overall, I think Kalos was good for him. I think he needed to be away from Kanto to really have that space to think about himself.

[ella-ashmore]

can i ask a question i completely understand if you dont wanna answer but why does grace chasity make you uncomfortable ?

totally valid question !! its mostly just. the homophobic remark mixed with a strong association with a shitty ex of mine. if there wasnt that connection im sure id like her, like i can absolutely acknowledge that shes Such a fun character and i get why others like her a lot !! and i dont have anything against people that Do like her, i just cant really look at her in a way that makes her enjoyable to me

[lurochar]

Yandere Alastor x Reader who refuses to talk and not just to him but to everyone. Maybe one day he came off way too strong to her and ever since then she hasn’t spoken a word. How would he react? It’s almost like she’s ignoring him as she always has the far off look in her eyes even when he’s speaking to her.

Not sure if this is quite what you requested, Anon, but hopefully it’s a little satisfactory >_<

Warnings: Yandere!Alastor, Violence

--------------------------------

Everyone is quite worried about you. They have no idea why you suddenly just stopped… talking, but Husk and Vaggie have a pretty good guess and it definitely has something to do with their hotelier because of course it does.

Alastor, on the other hand, thinks your reaction to his… proposal (not literal, but aww, if you took it that way, he wouldn’t have refused your darling little self) is cute at first. So you’re playing hard to get, making him work for it? Usually, it’s demons coming to him asking and begging for deals in exchange for their souls, not the other way around.

Perhaps he was a little too forward, blunt in asking for your soul right away? It seems he was a little too eager to have you solely for himself that he completely forgot his manners – he didn’t woo you like a gentleman should.

After a proper courtship, only then should he have sweet talked you into giving him your soul.

But after a while, you refusing to speak, to him, to anyone – just avoiding everyone in general, completely spooked by the near loss of your soul (and Alastor, on some level, can understand your way of thinking, you are relatively new to Hell after all), well, it’s starting to irritate Alastor a little. 

He does want to hear your lovely voice again.

So, he starts out small, casual things – acts of service, maybe cooking your favourite meal, doing one of your chores around the hotel, buying a trinket on one of his outings. He does hope you’ll be at least polite enough to thank him for what he’s doing for you, but all he gets is a shaky nod before you’re running to the ‘safety’ to your room.

That’s fine, there are other ways to make people talk.

He just didn’t want to have to use them with you, but he didn’t realize you were this stubborn and if his kindness was wasted…

Alastor goes to collect any and all acquaintances, friends, and family members of yours to be rounded up and brought to his radio tower. His shadow has forcibly sealed you in Alastor’s room at the hotel and you have to listen in absolute horror as familiar screams are being broadcasted to you through the multiple radios in Alastor’s room.

“My sweet Doe, I will stop this, but we must make a deal first. Do promise me you will never give me this dreadful silent treatment again and I won’t lay a finger on any of these souls again. Do we have a deal?”

You are completely frozen in fear, the screams echoing in your head. Is this a trick? If you go there, is that what Alastor would do to you too? You don’t answer Alastor’s question, you can’t.

There is a sigh over the radio and Alastor’s shadow perks up, picking you up a moment later and you’re silently panicking, wondering if these are your last moments alive as you and the shadow travel through the voids right into Alastor’s radio tower.

“Interesting. I didn’t believe I would have to go this far, but…”

A breath escapes you and you tense when Alastor pulls you up from the ground, drawing your back to his chest (though he has to lean down some) as he places his hands tightly on your shoulders, claws ripping the fabric of your clothes. “While I may prefer the auditory experience, some are visual learners, I suppose.”

At some point, you believe you completely dissociate, unable to keep watching Alastor brutally torture your friends outside the hotel and the few family members you had found and reunited with in Hell and it’s then that Alastor strikes.

He does cast a spell on you after he’s finished with what started this all, his proposal for your soul and now he’s thinking about it, a real proposal may be coming very soon.

It’s a spell intended to scramble your mind, thoughts, and memories if you ever decide to talk with Charlie and the others again (he honestly thought about just stashing you away elsewhere, but seeing as he spent the majority of his time at the Hazbin Hotel, you would be safest there too), that you would not recall anything that Alastor had just done to you or that he now owned your soul to begin with.

After all, he certainly did not need Charlie to call Lucifer up if it ever did get out what he had put you through just to get you to speak again and to get you to sign your soul over to him.

Alastor had what he wanted and he would not let a little deadbeat ruin it.

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[ruby-in-bloom]

Hi, please tell me how you process photos to achieve such light and shadows?

Hi stranger!

I will do my best to answer this. If you want to submit a second ask referencing a specific photo I might be able to provide you a more satisfactory answer. I can also DM with you.

1.) All my lighting tweaks occur in game with Reshade, specially with RGTI and Relight. You can find them here.

RGTI stands for Ray Tracing Global Illumination which is fancy speak for replicating how light works in the real world, stimulating shadows, reflections and refractions.

ReLight is, basically, a “lamp” or light source you can manipulate through Reshade to create better lighting in screenshots.

2.) I tweak the settings nearly every time I take a photo so it’s hard to give exact settings, because what works for one image won’t work for another.

3.) In the off chance you haven’t heard of @pixelplayground I suggest you go to her page and read her Anatomy of a Screenshot which was my, along with many other simmers, introduction to all of these tools. It’s well written and provides additional sources. I can also recommend @pictureamoebae blog which PXL also cites, and if you purchase these shaders you will have access to Marty’s discord servers and can get help from the great mods there.

Hopefully that helps - again - if you have further questions you can send me another, ask of course, or DM.

Take care! ❤️

[sseniita]

is it hot in here or is it just you?

“It’s so nice.” The hero’s voice sounded robotic against the fan blades. “So nice.” 

She was kneeling in front of an oscillating fan and moving with it as it rotated back and forth, letting her hair tangle as it moved uncontrollably in the artificial breeze. Despite the air conditioning and lack of decent clothes, there was a shiny sheen of sweat on her body and bright red flush on her cheeks. The villain’s stare couldn’t help but wander to her bare shoulders and sliver of tummy under her top; why the appearance of a woman in shorts and a tank top gave him the reaction of seeing a woman’s ankle for the first time in the eighteenth century- he wasn’t sure. 

“You’ll dry up if you don’t give that a break.” Truthfully, the villain was getting chilly with every fan in his apartment on and at full speed, “That and you’ll be paying for my electricity bill.” 

“My apartment doesn’t have air conditioning and I can’t afford a fan,” the hero spared him a glance. “What makes you think I can pay a bill?” 

The villain's eyebrow quizzed, “Heroism not paying well?” 

“I’m wealthy in applause and honour.” she shuffled left to follow the fan. “Besides, this is you making it up to me after breaking my wrist last month.” 

The villain’s lip quirked. “Right. Oops.” 

The villain took a seat on his couch near the hero and her designated cooling nest. The floor was strewn with water bottles, ice-filled thermoses and damp towels the hero would rotate through in attempts to get relief from the heat. 

“You’d think having fire powers would make you immune to heat. You could be fighting monsters with the power of a million suns” 

“I know. I swear I’m being pranked by some celestial force. I’m immune to my heat- but the sun’s evil 40 degree weather feels like I’m in a preheating oven” The hero groaned with frustration, running a hand through her hair. “It’s so hot! Can’t you turn me into an ice cube or something?” 

The villain’s ice power complimented the hero very well. Maybe too well, this wasn’t the first time they were in this situation. 

“You know you’ll melt it, Hero.” 

“Can you… freeze the apartment?” she suggested timidly, knowing the answer he’d give her.

“Yes, Hero. I’ll freeze my entire apartment so you can stay cool.” 

“Come on!” She’s splayed out on the floor now, Villain cursed the way her shorts rode up. “Do me this one favour. Please!” 

“I think you misunderstand what one favour is.” He gestured to her cooling nest. 

“Can’t you use your powers or something? Villain, I’m literally burning up. Please.” The villain didn’t doubt it. He wasn’t sure what would happen if she overheated, he assumed being overheated was the norm for her. The hero stared hopefully at him, and the villain knew exactly what she wanted, what she had wanted everytime a heatwave made its way to their city, why she had come here in the first place. Dejected, he started taking off his shirt. 

“I should get paid for this.” He mumbled, the hero quickly made her way over to sit on the couch beside him, a large smile on her face. “You’re shameless.” 

“I’m desperate, Frosty.” She inched closer. “I promise I won’t interrupt your heists for a week.” 

The villain extended his arms, inviting the hero. “A month.” 

As if the act were the most natural thing in the world, the hero jumped on his lap, swinging her legs to his side. The villain automatically (much to his own surprise) wrapped his arms around her, as if preparing to bridal-carry her to the North Pole. Her arms wrapped around his neck, leaning her head in the crook of his neck and comfortably setting herself in place. 

“This is demeaning.” The villain said readjusting her for both their comfort, awakening his power to a satisfactory chill. He could feel the hero’s body temperature immediately cooling, he could have sworn he saw steam. 

“No,” she cuddled closer, “this is nice. So nice.” 

The villain rested his chin on the top of the hero's head and leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and feeling the pleasant warmth radiating off the hero. Yes, this was nice.

[indigogvf]

How can you not see it?

Authors note: this is my first time writing smut!! Any feedback/thoughts are much appreciated but please be nice :)

Warnings: 18+, minors dni. Angst (i cant help myself🤭), fluff, drinking, swearing. Let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: After being fuck buddies with Josh for a few months, he begins to act out when he sees a man buy you a drink. Is this little arrangement between you over, or does it turn into something more?

You walked up to the bar, standing there for no longer than two seconds before an unfamiliar arm snaked around your waist. “This one’s on me. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be paying for their own drinks, hm?”

‘Okay, gross…’ you thought, turning to look at him. He had dark brown hair that was gelled to the side, brown eyes with slight stubble on his face. I mean, he wasn’t ugly, but that pick-up line was plain nasty.

“I’m okay, thanks though.” You presented a closed lipped smile in hopes that your bluntness would deter him.

You were wrong.

“C’mon, just one drink. I’ll leave you alone after that, I promise.” He asked, looking at you hopefully.

‘Maybe he isn’t so bad, I mean that’s a pretty reasonable offer.’ Looking over the man’s shoulder, you caught Josh’s eyes burning into you.

“Okay, just one drink, but you have to leave me alone after that.” Accepting his compromise, you took a seat at the bar whilst he ordered you a drink. You caught Josh’s eyes again, noticing that he appeared to be angry. You and Josh have been sleeping together for a few months now, but so far, it has been nothing serious.

It happened at the end of the last tour, when he was pent up after a show and had absolutely no shame in asking for your help in the midst of his desperation. There was no denying that Josh is attractive, and you’d always had a small thing for him, so you happily obliged. But then, it carried on, which isn’t necessarily a problem, but he’s a very confusing person. You know that he’s only using you for a quick fuck, but considering your friendship, you assumed he’d have a tad more respect. You are painfully aware that sex is all it is to him, but you can’t help feeling hurt at times, especially when he has no shame in chatting up random girls when you go out somewhere. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to do the same, but stopped yourself out of respect for Josh.

However, it had been a week since you and Josh last had sex, and the guy currently chatting you up seemed nice enough. You didn’t have any intention of sleeping with him, but it was nice to share a drink with someone, even if it was not the person you wanted to be with.

You finished your drink and said your goodbyes to the guy at the bar, who you never actually caught the name of. Or maybe you did… you can’t remember, and truthfully, you don’t really care. You headed back to the group, which only consisted of you, Josh, Jake, Danny, and Sam. “Who was that?” Jake asked, sharing an intrigued look with the rest of them.

“Just some guy, he said he’d buy me a drink and then leave me alone. Seemed like a fair deal and he was nice enough.” You looked around, and it seemed like your answer was satisfactory. Until you landed on Josh, who was still wearing the same grumpy look. You frowned at him, wondering what his problem was. He caught your gaze and rolled his eyes.

‘What is his problem?’ You thought, frustrated with the lack of communication.

“Where are we going after this?” You asked, trying to avoid Josh’s stare.

“You’re not going home with that guy?” Josh asked, hints of sarcasm seeping through his already harsh tone. You were dumbfounded, Josh never acts this way.

“Excuse me?” You asked, pure confusion evident in your tone.

“I don’t know. You seemed pretty content with him.” You looked around trying to gauge everyone else’s reaction, which was seemingly the same as yours.

“I already told you, he bought me one drink and promised to leave me alone. If he hadn’t made the promise of leaving me alone I would have been opposed to the idea, but he did. It was a harmless drink.” You spoke calmly despite the anger that was flowing through your veins.

‘This is unbelievable! Since when is this a problem for him? He has no issues chatting up girls, but when I have a harmless drink with someone he acts like I’ve committed adultery in a marriage that doesn’t even exist.’ You were fuming, but doing a good job of hiding it.

“Could’ve fooled me” he responded, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“Josh, chill out. Let’s just go back to mine because it's the closest.” Danny pipes up. You weren’t even sure you wanted to stay out after the way Josh has been acting. It was awkward now, no one was really sure of what to say because no one knew what was wrong.

“I think I might just head home for the night. This has been really nice though, we need to make more of an effort to do this more often.” You hoped that they wouldn’t question it. Josh had entirely sucked the fun out of the night and your mood to socialise had gone down the drain. They all protested, asking you to stay just a couple more hours. Josh stayed silent, confirming that he was still in his pathetic little mood. That gave you even more reason to leave, so you did. You all said goodbye and they subtly told you to just ignore Josh and that he’d get over whatever was bothering him.

As soon as you got home you stripped from your restricting skirt and top and got in the shower. The warmth felt so good, releasing all the built up tension from Josh’s digs at you. It started to dawn on you that maybe the whole arrangement you had with Josh was a bad idea. Realistically, it’s never a good idea to sleep with your friends without the intention of more. But, it was going fine, it hadn’t affected your friendship at all until now. You wonder what had changed.

You reluctantly got out the shower and put on your comfiest pyjamas. Then, you ordered some takeout, which is a necessity after a night of drinking. It was still quite early and you weren’t going to go to sleep for a few more hours, so you poured yourself a nice, full glass of wine. You heard a knock at the door before you could enjoy.

‘That was quick…’ you opened the door and was met with Josh’s familiar face. ‘Fucking brilliant.’

“What do you want now? To ruin the rest of my night, too?” You asked. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“No, I was going to apologise but it seems you’re still clinging on to whatever it was I did.” You audibly laughed in his face.

‘Unbelievable. Is he serious? This is so obviously because the rest of them forced him to come and apologise.’ You theorized.

“Seriously, Josh? You were rude. You have no problems chatting up women at bars and I never bat an eyelid. Was it shitty to watch? Sure! But I have no reason to stop you because we are not together. We fuck Josh, that’s the extent of it. We’re friends who fuck. Why is it a problem when I have a drink with someone? I was never going to agree in the first place out of respect for you. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to go home with someone, but I haven’t, because despite the fact that we aren't together, we’re friends. But it’s only fair if I get to talk to other guys. I don’t know what your problem is, but our little arrangement is done. It’s clearly affecting our friendship and you seem to be able to get a good fuck whenever you want, so you obviously don’t need me for that. Now, if you’re not going to sincerely apologise for your pathetic behaviour, I’d like you to leave before my food gets here.” He stared at you, mouth agape in shock. All of the emotions you just poured out started to sink in, and it’s became overwhelming. You hold back the tears and wait for him to respond.

‘Why is this getting to me so mu-‘

“I love you! Jesus, how can you not see it? I’m head over heels for you. Have you never noticed how I always take care of you after we have sex? I stay with you every single time. Have you never noticed the way I look at you every opportunity I get? Have you never thought about why I always get you the most meaningful gifts compared to everyone else? Or why I always sit next to you when we go out? I’m in love with you. I never meant for us sleeping together to become a regular thing, but having you as something more than a friend was better than just being seen as a friend by you, even if it was just as a fuck buddy. The way I acted tonight was wrong and unfair, and you’re right. You should be able to talk to whoever you want because that’s exactly what I do. I’m sorry.”

You were shocked to say the least, but it made sense. Everything made sense. You love him. That’s why it always bothered you to see him talking to other girls. As you stared at him completely baffled, your food arrived, which was honestly perfect timing. It brought you back to reality. You invited Josh into your home and sat down with him, “please say something, you’ve been silent for way too long”

“I’m sorry. I just- it all makes sense now.” You thought about the best way to go about this. You weren’t exactly planning on admitting your feelings for Josh tonight, specifically because you are admitting to feelings that you didn’t even realise you had until five minutes ago. ‘Fuck it.’ “I love you too. I didnt even realise, but it makes sense. It hurt to see you talk to other girls, knowing you could pull any of them whenever you wanted. I just didn’t put the pieces together.” You stared up at him, and you couldn’t stop yourself.

You grabbed his collar and pulled him into you, kissing him with so much force that it made your head spin. He gladly reciprocated. Your mouths moved in sync as his tongue swiped your bottom lip, asking for entrance, which you granted. He pushed you further into the couch, and you wrapped your legs around his waist bringing him in closer. This felt so different; it wasn’t just need and desperation; the atmosphere was filled with love and passion. He groaned into your mouth as you started grinding your hips on him, looking for some type of friction to ease the aching sensation. You could feel how hard he was.

He pulled away to remove your top and groaned when he realised you weren’t wearing a bra. “Fuck. You’re so pretty, mama.” You smiled at him as you moved your hands to his waist and attempted to unbutton his pants when he stopped you, “No. Let me make you feel good, first.” He removed your pants, leaving you completely naked below him. He ran his fingers through your folds collecting the wetness. “All of this for me?” You moaned at the feeling of his fingers on you, bucking your hips to try and get some friction on your aching clit.

“Only for you, Josh” he pushed a finger inside of you, eliciting a moan that was louder than intended. He was moving at an antagonizing pace. “Please, Josh.” You whined. You needed more, you were so desperate for something.

“Please what, baby?”

“I need more. Please.” He pushed another finger into you, increasing his speed. “Fuck! That feels so good.” You moaned. You could feel the warmth blossoming in your belly, getting closer and closer to your release. He knew it, he knew your body so well. He could feel you squeezing his fingers, and just as you were about to come, he removed them. “No! No, no. Please Josh. I was so close”

“Soon, mama. Let me take care of you.” he leaned in, kissing you much softer than before. You whined into his mouth, bucking your hips in an attempt to relieve your desperation. He was just as desperate as you, if not more. You could feel the heat radiating from his cock.

“I need you Josh. I need your cock, please.” You begged. He pulled down his pants along with his boxers and released his achingly hard cock. His head was red and dripping with pre cum, begging to be touched. You reached your hand down and stroked him delicately. “Fuck. Your hands feel so good, baby, but I need to be inside of you.” He lined his cock up with your entrance and bottomed out. You both groaned in sync. He was stretching you out so good.

“Please move Josh.” You begged, and he obliged. He moved slowly, picking up his pace. This was different, he was going slow but so deep compared to usual, where he would mercilessly fuck you. You used your legs that were wrapped around his waist to bring him in closer, digging your nails into his back. He moaned into your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. Your orgasm was approaching quickly after having it taken away a mere five minutes ago. It was so rushed but you couldn’t care less, you just needed him.

“Faster Josh, I’m so close. Fuck!” He did as he was asked, thrusting into you faster. He grabbed your leg and chucked it over his shoulder, somehow achieving an even deeper angle than before. “Jesus Christ, Josh. You feel so good.” Your head rolled back into the cushions behind you as you quickly approached your long awaited orgasm.

“You gonna come for me? Give it to me, mama. I need to feel you come around my cock.” Josh’s words of encouragement threw you over the edge and caused you to come, hard. You don’t even know if you were actually saying anything or if you were just making noises, but you didn’t care. He fucked you through it, picking up his pace as he chased his own orgasm. “I’m close, baby. Can you give me one more?” You nearly cried when he said that. You were beyond fucked out, the alcohol from earlier starting to tire you out.

“I can’t, Josh.” You whined. His hips were faltering now, giving him away. His eyes were screwed shut and his mouth was hanging open. “You can, I know you can. C’mon, mama. Just one more for me. You feel so good. Be good for me, please” his voice was strained, which encouraged you even more. You could feel yourself getting closer. He reached his hand down to your clit and within seconds you were coming again. You saw stars, your legs clamped around his waist even harder as you came. You were shouting his name like a mantra as he thrusted into you at a merciless pace, chasing his own release. You felt him twitch inside of you.

“Fuck! I’m gonna come” he groaned as he stilled inside of you, releasing his hot spurts of cum. His head dropped to the crook of your neck as he worked himself through his orgasm. You both stilled as you caught your breath and he rolled off of you.

He wrapped his arms around you and brought you closer, kissing your forehead gently. “I’m sorry for earlier. I love you.” You smiled up at him and ran your fingers through his hair.

“It’s okay. I love you too, Josh.” You cuddled into him.

‘This feels so right.’ He leaned down and pressed a delicate kiss to your lips whilst he caressed your face. He pulled away and his eyes were filled with nothing but love.

“How does a shower sound?” He suggested, a cheeky glint in his eyes. You grinned up at him and peeled yourself away from his embrace. “I’ll race you.” You giggled, quickly getting up and giving yourself a head start.

“Oh, you’re on!” He chased after you, laughing to himself.

‘This feels so right.’ He thought, too.

[the-doomed-witch]

COME HOME TO MY HEART

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You rekindle with a childhood lover, now on the other end of the world. The love is still passionate, vibrant, but just far away. So you go back to meet her. // based on Supercut by Lorde

Word Count: ~4.0k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, MINORS + MEN DNI. phone sex, masturbation, long distance lovers meet up, fluff, a littttttleeee angsty, oral (both), fingering (both), strap-on (n receiving), squirting, light bondage, mostly reminiscent

Author’s Note: i’ve written a similar drabble with wanda before, but i wanted to write a complete one shot with infinity war nat bc why not 🤭

MASTERLIST // NAVIGATION // REQUESTS CLOSED

— ✦ —

The room is dimly lit, almost completely dark, when you get a call from Nat at 3:00 a.m. There’s obviously nothing else she could possibly be doing right now, so a little sigh leaves your mouth as you prepare yourself to pick it up.

“Hey baby, w-” you attempt to ask her, but she moans loudly. Yes, she’s doing exactly what you thought before picking up her call.

“Y/N, I need you… your touch, your tongue… Ah-!” you listen to her closely, with a hint of redness flushing over your cheeks. You could vividly imagine the mess she would be making around her.

The sounds of her fingering herself stopped, and she asks you, “Wouldn’t you join me detka? Come along with me? Let me hear you say my name? Won’t you, Y/N?”

Your mouth was already dripping at the thought of her wanting your tongue, but a pool of slick formed on your cotton panties at the thought of touching yourself to her sounds. You’d never done anything of the sort before, but ever since Nat reconnected with you, it was hard to resist or deny the offer she just gave.

You put your phone aside, on the bedside table, as you take off your clothes. You make her listen to your own sounds of pleasure, all the way in a different country. You can hear her overflowing pussy, and her fingers. Dip, spread, and rub, and again. Every moment or so, she pleads your name, as if you were right there, next to her.

Realising that mere touching is of no use for you to get yourself off, you introduce a toy to the moment, conveniently handy inside your bedside table drawer. “God, Nat, I wish you’d be taking this right now, I’d be pounding into you. You would take me so well…” you narrate to her, fantasising her touch, as you align the toy inside of you.

On the other end of the line, Nat is already reaching her climax. Her breathing is staggered, and her hole sounds as heavenly as her chants of your name. She screams loudly as she comes, hopefully making a mess around herself.

Just listening to her has been giving you chills all over your body. And no sooner than you sense her releasing herself, you do it too.

After moments of mutual silence filled with panting and whining, the question slips out of your mouth,“Why are you so far away, Nat?”

“Why did you move away, Y/N?”

You have no answer that is satisfactory. “I almost forgot that it’s morning for you, you really wanted me to come over and take care, didn’t you?”

“Isn’t it obvious Y/N? I ache for you, crave your touch every single night, hoping you’d come back here someday. We could go on dates, kiss each other, fool around all day in my apartment…”

“Oh my sweet baby… I promise I’ll be there soon. And when we go out on dates, I’ll hold your hand, always. Okay?”

“You’re going to make me come again with all your sweet talk. But this time, I mean it. I want to be able to do everything with you, just how lovers do. I miss you. I miss you so much.” You don’t need her to explain, you become cognizant of how her fingers slipped inside of her again. “Y/N, I’m so wet for you, I wish you were here to see it, do something about it.” she says shortly before cutting the call.

You think it’s by mistake, so you ring her again. She doesn’t pick it up.

With a heart full of longing, you recall your brightest memories with her. Right from coming out to her, to stealing moments alone after the day at high school ended just to give each other a kiss. The time both of you went to prom together, despite all your classmates thinking that both of you did so because “you couldn’t get a nice guy”. But nobody except you two knew the joy of being together.

Natasha Romanoff was your whole life before you left the goddamn place. She was so sure of a future together, before a silent and apologetic breakup came along, followed by you moving out to an entirely different continent. You still remember the tears pooling up around her emerald like irises, and then you attempting to calm her down. Breathe in… 2,3,4. Breath out… 6,7,8 you taught her before leaving as a naive teenager.

A flashback of every subsided memory in your mind filled up your thoughts for the rest of the night. Your heartbeat increases as you think of what you have done for the two of you, and how it was only the most reasonable option given your circumstances. As a young love, you were wild and fluorescent.

But it’s been a few months since you found Natasha again, thanks to an exchange student in your university who turned out to be a mutual friend. And you wouldn’t commit those same mistakes this time.

— ✦ —

After three days of a monotonous routine, you call Nat several times abruptly. Of course, she is busy on the other side of the world, but there’s nothing more prime than your excitement today.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up!” you repeat to yourself till she actually picks up your call. “Y/N! You’ve been calling me aggressively, care to consider I’m at uni? What’s going on, is everything okay?” She sounds impatient. Not the impatient that you are feeling, but a rather frustrated one.

“Honey! Natty! I’ve got the best news for you!”

“Get to the point quickly! I cannot hold this call for long, my professor will be breaking my neck in half.”

“Mark the date Natty!! I’m just about to scream, oh my God! I love you! So much. Tell me that you love me too when I meet you at the airport, don’t forget to pick me up. I’m sending you the details of my flight, we’ll be walking around the town hand in hand in a few days!”

“Oh my God, Y/N. This is the best news I’ve heard, like ever! Fuck, I’m so going to cry, gosh. I lo-”

“No Natty! Say it when you meet me, I want to hear it in person. I can go for a week. Oh my God, there’s so much I need to do, bye! Take care.”

“Take care moya lyubov! See you soon.”

There’s a week left for you to catch your flight, but there's too much stuff to do. After all, it’s your home country and you will inevitably have to meet your family after years of no contact. That’s a fear, yes, but having Natasha by your side seemed soothing in a way.

Over the seven days, you cause havoc in your own apartment. Random calls with Nat throughout the day, going to university for the selected number of hours, bunking a few lectures to go and relieve yourself with what only Natasha could give you the best.

Definitely, there’s financing trouble to do, calculating the amount you’ll be spending, but you balance it all through with the help of your colleagues pursuing finance related majors.

From the depths of your wardrobe, you select the best pieces of clothing you have. Some bright, some in Natasha’s favourite colours, and some just a little provocative. There are an endless bunch of other things you want to carry but obviously, there’s a restriction on the weight of your luggage.

— ✦ —

“Babe, where are you? I can’t find you here. I’m at Gate 3.” you speak to Nat on call.

“Then what the fuck am I doing at Gate 2?! Wait I’ll have to run over to the other gate, I’m so fucking dumb!”

She turns to the other side, preparing herself to run off to the supposed gateway to find you. Suddenly, two arms grab her waist from behind, kissing her neck as you hold her in a tight embrace. “I was messing with you, love. I’m right here.” You whisper while planting kisses on her whole face as she giggles through your affection.

In the fullness of time, she pulls your face closer into a long awaited, and pined for kiss. Her tongue travels places inside your mouth as soon as you let her in, her hands pulling you impossibly close to her body.

Your hands stay gripping her back, entangled in her now-blonde hair. Your lips don’t depart till you’re both completely out of breath. “Before I forget to say it; I love you too Y/N! With my whole heart.”

“Seven years. Seven fucking years and you just taste the same kind of sweet, Natalia.”

She gives you a gentle smooch before replying, “And for seven fucking years I’ve waited for this. You’re here, you’re so here malyshka, my dearest!” Her muscular arms help you carry your heavy luggage, full of stuff you want to share with her.

She drives you around the city, reminiscing about places you both used to go to. “Wait, here comes the school! Can we please go inside? I want to take a look, it feels like I’ve missed years of stories I need to catch up with.”

You meet a few teachers from your childhood, many others have either left or retired. You meet Mrs. Agatha Harkness, who taught you history. She was the first adult you ever came out to, because you had met her wife Mrs. Wanda Maximoff several times in school.

She looked just the same, as if she were immortal. Agatha greeted the two of you with a cheerful glin, “What a lovely surprise have I got here! The two ladies; the secret high school sweethearts!” Both of you tensely blush at the addressal, and she teases the two of you again, “Your cheeks still redden just the way they did about a decade ago, oh my God!” She adoringly laughs at your innocent faces.

You find your secret spots in hidden staircases, near humongous trees, and the girls’ restroom. In the light of echoing your earliest happy moments, you kiss Natasha every time you find one of those places. The school is empty, since summer holidays are around.

Among other places in the city, you visit parks, cafeterias, and other sites you’ve been to with Nat ever since your childhood. From time to time, you recreate the past photos of the both of you.

You sit in the car after yet another round of wandering, tired of all the travel you’ve done today. You let out a sigh in the sharp afternoon sunlight. You haven’t rested in the last sixteen hours, but it’s been all worth it.

“I can’t imagine I get to say this today - Take me home, baby.” you tease her, tugging on her leather vest. The jacket you don’t understand for what godforsaken reason she still has on, in this summer heat.

Her apartment is a little cosy space, with hints of boldness here and there. Though there are spots recognizable from video calls and pictures, you’re surprised at the bigger picture that you hadn’t yet seen.

You never imagined her to be someone to hang artwork, but she has a few sapphic based paintings along the entrance corridor. You comment on the decoration, “Wow, I love how these are hanging by the entrance door. Someone could walk inside and just go like, ‘Natasha Romanoff. Badass, smartass, and girlkisser.’”

She chuckles at your little quip. Her bedroom is simple, not filled with many things, just some regular personal effects including photo frames. There were mainly pictures of her and Yelena, but some of them also had you photobombing the sisters.

“How’s Yelena?” you ask her, taking a seat by the bed.

“She’s alright. Like you, she doesn’t live here anymore. She goes around the world, teaching women about vigilance. I’m proud of what she does, but I wish she were here.”

“I was hoping I could meet her, we haven’t spoken in almost a decade. What about Bucky? Or Carol? Tony? All of our friends, you know.”

“Most of them left the city, and some, like you, left the country wholly. Bucky’s still here, he’s engaged to Sam. Bruce and Tony went to a science oriented institute. Carol comes around from time to time, to meet us. And well, Steve joined the military like he always wanted to. Everyone’s still in casual contact, except we miss you so much.”

“You know, we should be having a reunion someday. Not this time though, I think I’ll just meet a few people. Mostly, I want to be with you.” Your palm rests on the top of hers, fingers interlocking.

You let out another audible sigh, pushing yourself back into the bed. “You sound really dead beat, you don’t breathe out like this often. Do you want me to get you something Y/N?”

“I think I’m just facing jet lag, I’ll be fine in a day or so. But I could really use relaxation right now.”

She straddles your waist, moving strands of hair out of your face and tucking them behind your ears. “Then let me help you, detka.” Your lips part softly, signalling her to lean in. Instead, she places her thumb on your chin, making you suck on it. You close your eyes as they flutter, enjoying the feeling of her touch.

After a few minutes, she withdraws and gets her weight off your body. “May I?” she seeks your permission before proceeding. You nod at her in response.

She doesn’t pull down your pants immediately. Instead, her hands touch you over your pair of trousers. You cannot feel it as a direct contact with your skin, but it does tingle. A light tickle-like movement of her fingers traces your body, sending literal quivers and twitches from head to toe. Impatiently, you pull up your t-shirt and throw it away into a corner of the room. She unzips her shiny leather vest, only to reveal that there was nothing underneath this whole time. However, she doesn’t take it off her shoulders.

One flick of her hand, and your bra is unhooked. She covers your tits in her saliva with her sucking, biting and licking. You turn into a whimpering mess underneath her.

If she hadn’t cupped your core by pushing her hand down your trousers, you were sure you could’ve leaked your wetness onto the bed. “Fuck Y/N, who thought you’re going to be a dripping pool for me? You want me to fuck you so that you forget how to walk? Leave your legs sore? That’s what you want?” With every question, she spreads your juices up and down. She presses down on your clitoris harshly, “Answer me Y/N.”

“Mm” You give a string of incoherent mumbles as a reply. She unbuttons your pants and helps you take them off, to meet a sight of black lace barely covering any of your pussy. Natasha groans at the view, and decides not to pull them down.

She bends down to get to work as she lets two of her fingers hold the cloth aside. Her tongue rolls up and down and side, experiencing the full taste of your cunt. Every now and then, she pauses, leaves kisses, and moans into your slit, giving you shivers.

The room is filled with your screams, and sounds of your entire body heaving. Nat could sense the walls of your pussy clenching on her tongue. With a soft graceful tug on the bud, you squirt on her face, leaving you utterly embarrassed. “Oh my God baby, I didn’t know you were a squirter!” she says, excitedly. You get flustered as you misunderstand her words and push her away from your body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shh. Give me one more, I love it when you do it.” She interrupts your whole line of thought with a kiss, and simultaneously pushing her fingers inside of you, ultimately curling them. Your legs writhe against her touch, as her hand moves faster.

You separate yourself from the kiss to scream when she touches a deep spot inside of you. Your response is enough for her to do it again, and again, and once again, till you release your juices. As soon as you do, she goes down to swallow it all, licking you and your pussy clean.

Throughout the climax, you leave scars on her body in the heat of the moment. Scars on her shoulders with your tight grip, on her back, and bites on her lips till they bled. “Look at me malyshka, look me in the eye when you come. You’re so tight for me, so good.” she says as she rides you through another orgasm, staring into your eyes with nothing but adoration.

You let your panties slip down, exposing Nat to an unfiltered heat. She slaps it hard before spreading it wide with her digits, rolling her tongue inside once again.

When she’s done abusing your poor clit, she massages your sweaty body, helping you relieve all the stress you’ve been facing with the jet lag.

“Nat,” you say, rubbing fingertips on her head in circular motions, “I love you. Let me return the favour, please?”

“Tomorrow. You’re so tired dorogaya, you should sleep. We can continue anytime.”

“Now.” you demand, rolling one of her nipples between your fingers. Her grip on the bed sheet intensifies as you stimulate her gently. “Y/N…”

You shred her of all her garments till she’s left only with her panties. You rub them over her drenched core, and pull them out too. You use them to tie her hands above her head, so that you could have the space all to yourself.

Her holes expand and shrink, waiting to be fucked by you. So you dip your fingers inside her, and pull them out fully, sucking on them for a taste, a nice and loud slurp. Your eyes meet hers, fingers still in your mouth, her hooded glaucous sight connected to yours.

Carrying a string of saliva on their way back in, you penetrate her once again. Pump in, pump out. Your thrusting gets more quick with every moan she lets out with your name on the tip of her tongue.

Something sparked your mind, so you get off the bed and poke around in your luggage. Back in the bed, hands tied, Nat screams at the lack of friction, squeezing her legs together for some sort of relief.

“I’ve wanted to use this on you since so long, baby.” you say as you return with a strap adorned around your waist. “Wouldn’t you like to take my big dick? Make a mess on it?”

You don’t give her time to answer and linger on her top before deciding to fuck her throat. You shove the toy inside, practically gagging the woman beneath you. When you find it satisfactory, you align the tip against her hole, slowly inserting it till you bottom out.

“Ah… feels so full Y/N-”

You start pounding into her vehemently, evoking the loudest of noises from Natasha. “You’re so fucking pretty Nat, taking it so well.”

The words of affirmation made her come hard, almost tripping her over. Beads of sweat roll down her tummy, the dimmed lights giving them a different glow. Just the sight of her was seductive at its finest.

Your movements keep going mercilessly, till you turn her around and plunge into her even more rapidly from the back. And just before she is about to come undone, you pull out and put your mouth to work.

She keeps on grinding against your face even after coming, just to feel you in the places she always needed you the most. The panties tied around her wrists tear apart with a single attempt from her, just because she wants to push your face further inside. You moan and occasionally breathe deep inside her pussy, driving her wild. A little pressure on the clit and she’s coming again. You lick her thoroughly clean, not letting a single droplet get to waste.

“Y/N… too much… please.” she begs you to stop and so you do, with one last taste of her delicate sweetness. You lay down next to her, on bed sheets covered in the liquids of pleasure and lust. While staring at the ceiling, she utters, “That was the best experience I’ve ever had and you’re the worst tease.”

“Can you really blame me though?” You wheeze at her comment, and turn towards her, the weight of your right leg on the top of her. Fingers find their way through her blonde hair again, scratching her scalp. “When did you choose to get rid of my favourite redhead?”

“You know it’s your favourite. What would have been the point if I never saw you again? I changed it a couple of years ago.”

“Not that I’m complaining, you look really hot as a silver blonde. If I didn’t know you and you walked up to me I think I would literally do whatever you asked me to.”

“Except you know me, and still do it.”

After what almost felt like an hour of comfortable silence, she cuddles you like a big spoon, which is highly unlikely of her. But you are not whining, you love the warmth of her body, and her soul.

— ✦ —

Fast forward to the last day of your stay. The two weeks you’ve spent with Nat have already come to an end, and you find it difficult to believe. You struggle to pack your belongings, in a reluctance to leave the place. But you need to prioritise some things.

On a long session of scrutiny with Nat, you decided not to visit your parents. You’ve had your fair share of trauma already.

She smiles at you throughout the day, but her eyes clearly convey, “Please stay.” You’re convinced that the departure is going to be harder than you imagined it, but you had no choice.

Before leaving her at the airport, you don’t stop kissing her. She’s almost out of her breath, but doesn’t spare a single moment. Evidently, she’s trying to hold on to every bit of you that she could keep with her.

There are tears in her eyes, on her cheeks, as she cups your face even more close. “Don’t leave, malyshka. I can't beat this pain again. Please stay.”

“You know I can’t, honey. You know that if I could, I would.” you begin crying yourself, too scared to forget what it felt like to hold her in your arms.

“Shh. Breathe in… 2,3,4. Breathe out… 6,7,8.” you teach her again, exactly how you did years ago, when you broke up with her.

She didn’t have it in herself to let go of her grip on you, but a warning announcement for the passengers had to do it. She tastes your lips one last time before letting you go, unsure of when she will ever get to do it again.

But she doesn’t ask you about you coming back. Natasha is, in all respects, confident that you would. The ring on her finger does it for her, as she waves goodbye.

On your flight back home, you’re sure you’ll be permanently moving back someday, the ring on yours does it for you.

[yoongleboonglepie]

Pechsträhne - Chapter 3

BTS x Reader

Series Masterlist

Chapter playlist-Youtube music

Chapter Playlist-Spotify

_________________________________________

A/N: AHHH finally getting into it! I hope you all enjoy this chapter- it was the hardest one of the three to write, but it is what it is. Hopefully I will have a masterlist with added goodies posted by the end the weekend, along with chapter 4!

P.S to my wife: I forgot to clean the humidifier. I'm doing it now ._.

Peace ~ Delyn

Word count: Aprox. 12.5k

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It took Y/n exactly one second to take off across the lobby at the fastest possible walking speed before it was considered running the moment Jimin had bid his farewell after lunch. She knew Yoongi worked in maintenance, but she couldn’t just wander around the hotel aimlessly in search of whatever task he was assigned that day. With the size of the hotel, she could chase her own tail for days before she even got a whiff of him. And it's not like she could go ask either of her parents for access to the hotel managerial staff database without raising any eyebrows. And with Mrs. Min being in charge of keeping the database in check while still being off in South Korea, she couldn’t try and weasel her way through her either.

Y/n didn’t know how deep of water she was wading herself into to begin with, her gears already turning with a million possibilities. If Jimin’s cryptic answers were anything to go by (if she could even call them answers), then what originally looked like a puddle could hide an ocean beneath its surface. Even if she wasn’t in line to own the hotel anymore -this was still her hotel- and she loved it more than anything. Despite her reluctance to return, she was still protective over it. It was her home. If there was some other reason why they took it away from her, or something she had missed, she needed to know. Because maybe then, she could do something to try and get it back.

She may not know where Yoongi is, but she had a few people in mind that might. Her eyes locked on her first target, who stood with a phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear and talking amicably with someone on the other line. Jin smiled politely at an elderly man, waiting in front of him, whom he nodded to once he dropped the antique-inspired phone back in the receiver. Y/n was already in line behind the man by the time Jin had started to speak to him.

“A room attendant will be by your room shortly with those extra pool towels. As always if there's anything else you need from me, feel free to call on your room phone or stop by anyone who is at the desk.” he dipped his head in a small bow. The answer seemed satisfactory to the guest, and he took off in a slow gait to the small elevator located to the right of the desk instead of the stairs. 

Y/n slid up to the front of the desk, and folded her arms over it.

“Good afternoon Y/n, what can I help you with?” Jin spoke first, supporting his upper body on his gloved palms as he leaned over her. He aimed a soft smile down at where she stood nervously huddled against the front. 

 Ignoring his inquiry, she asked a sweet “How’s your day today?” Earning her a befuddled look from the man in front of her.

“My day is going well, and you?” He took a small step back to look at her face more clearly.

“Oh it's been great. Anything interesting happen today?” She her attempts at remaining inconspicuous were unknowingly thwarted by her own hands that couldn't resist fiddling with the sides of the service bell in front of her.

His eyes held a humorous glint as they ran them up and down her form and he heaved out a dramatic sigh, tapping his finger animatedly against his chin. “That depends on what nonsense you’re up to already that you need me for.”  

Dammit. Was she still that obvious? She scrunched her face up and rose up to her full height with a huff. 

“You all think you’re slick, but I was the oldest. I know all of your guys’ tell-tale signs for when you’re up to no good.” 

She gave him a childish pout. “That’s because you were always a tattle tale.”

“I was not. I just didn’t get involved with anything that seemed doomed to fail.” He rebutted. 

She raised her eyebrow at him in disbelief. “You were almost never involved.” 

“Exactly. I can’t help that you guys were just terrible planners.” He shook his head side to side slowly with a coy shrug. 

“Well, I swear I’m not up to anything -I just need your guidance.” She fluttered her lashes at him innocently. 

He gave her a deadpan stare, his eyes blinking at a deliberately slow pace. 

“That’s the exact look you always give me when you’re up to something. You’re really not helping your case.” One of his hands reached up and tapped the tip of her nose with one gloved finger. “But I’m feeling generous today, and maybe it’s time making my memory hazy enough to trust you. Humor me. “ He plopped his elbows on the counter and propped his chin in the palm of his hand.

“I haven’t gotten to see Yoongi yet to properly greet him. I assume he’s working -and you know I don’t have access to the employee scheduling portal- so I was hoping that you’d help me find him.” She ran her finger across the wooden top of the desk, drawing patterns in the grain as she spoke. 

When he didn’t respond, she took a chance looking up at his expression. He held the same patient look, still perched on his hand. But his eyes were quivering in thought. 

“Why don’t you wait until he gets off of work? That’s in less than an hour.” He smiles again, but his eyes don’t imitate the gesture.

“That’s what I was going to do, but Hoseok said Yoongi was a night owl, and I didn’t see him around the estate at all yesterday evening. I can’t be sure when he’ll be back, and I don’t want to be waiting around all night.” She did her best impression of nonchalance that she could muster. She didn’t want to give him anything to go off of that might tip him off to something more serious. Y/n thought about what Jimin said about the rest of the boys having parental ties to her own, and figured it might do herself good to avoid telling him the truth in case anything trickled back up the grapevine. 

He straightened up, and fixed her with a pointed look. “I see. But unfortunately for you, I work here now, and I’m not supposed to share employees' personal information to anyone without their consent.” His face said ‘Sorry!’ but his eyes said ‘drop it.’ He wasn’t going to budge.

“Not even to a Wörner?” She gave one last hopeful smile.

His pointed look stayed in place, forcing her to conceal her frustrated sigh with a yawn. Why were they all being so weird? Had her mom said something to all of them? Surely it’s not as big of a concern to everyone who she spends her time with. 

“Ah, you must be tired. I’d suggest you go back to your room and rest. If you get bored~” His dress shoes clacked across the floor to the wooden pamphlet box hung on the wall near the entrance to the theater hall. He hovered his hand over a few of them, wiggling his fingers in search of the one he was looking for, which must have found because his fingers nimbly snatched one up to inspect the cover. “I doubt you of all people need the directions, but take it as a reminder. It’s a Friday, meaning it's the start of the weekend long streak of the best setlists at the Adelaide. I’m sure a nice relaxing evening would do you some good. It’s been a while since you’ve been here after all, and it’d be your first time seeing our new headliner. Don’t stay locked up at the estate just because you can’t find that old hermit.” He held the piece of paper out to her with an expectant look. She pieced together that he was done speaking of the matter, so she  gave him a resigned smile and took the paper from his hand. She repeated his gesture of inspecting the cover to hide her obvious disappointment, while he made his way around her to return to his spot at the desk. She opened the booklet to the first page, designated to introducing the performer of the evening: Taehyung Kim. His black hair parted down the middle, framing his ethereal features. He was reclined on one of the red barstools located within the Adelaide: one hand draped off of the back of the chair, a setlist hanging lazily from its grasp, and in the other a pen as if he was about to take notes. The picture looked like a candid that had to be taken during one of their rehearsals as his eyes weren’t looking at the camera, instead they looked intently at someone out of frame. She bit her lip, debating on pleading with Jin one more time. But by the time she had turned to look at him he was already helping another guest. 

She took Jin’s advice, and returned to the estate. She grabbed the door handle but it was pulled from her grasp by someone on the other side, forcing her to collide with said person as they rushed out of the door. Her and Jungkook stood at a standstill, seemingly both not expecting to (quite literally) run into each other. His wide, surprised eyes inches from hers and the half of a protein bar that was hanging out of his mouth brushed momentarily against her nose. Clad in running shoes, basketball shorts, and a tight fitting tee it didn't take a genius to figure out where he was headed. An apology was caught in her throat as she watched his eyes seem to flicker from their usual russet brown to nearly black for only a second before he collected himself.  He gently shoved past her and skipped down the front steps two at a time. 

“Sorry…” She said sheepishly, finding her words again. He looked back at her, a few loose curls fell into his eyes from where he had them pulled back - their color a normal brown. She must just be seeing things. 

He grunted around his snack, taking out a large bite and pulling it from in between his teeth, “s'no problem.” He didn’t give her a chance to strike up more conversation, and took off in a jog down the path to the hotel. 

Damnit. She stamped her foot on the porch. If her mom didn’t want her talking to him either, he must be connected with whatever reason she can’t talk to Yoongi. And she just missed out on her chance to ask him anything.

With that link gone for the time being, she decided she might as well try to stake out in her room until she heard Yoongi come up for bed so she could pounce on him. Not hearing her parents from the entryway, she assumed it was safe for her to let her guard down. They must be in their office, or back at the hotel. She shrugged, and made her way upstairs to her room. Opening the door and shutting it behind her, she tossed the pamphlet on her bedside table and flopped onto the mattress. To pass the time she pulled out her phone to scroll mindlessly on her social media for the first time since before she got the invitation. The mind-numbing activity doing well to rid her mind of any thoughts. It did so well, that she didn’t notice her eyelids grow heavy, and missed the moment they slipped closed- her phone falling from her fingers and onto the comforter below her.

“Ente!” Y/n bolted up in her bed at the sudden sound. She scanned the room for the source of the sound, but what her eyes found she had trouble believing. There standing in the middle of the room, was her little sister. She was in the same dress Y/n had observed her wearing in the photo the day before, but she stood a bit taller than when the picture had been taken -closer to the height she was when she died.

“Ente, come on! Get up! I want to play.”  Matilda’s h/c curls bounced as she jumped up and down in excitement. Y/n was frozen, unsure what to do. She moved to dangle her legs from the side of the bed, and her sister ran over to help her to her feet. Her small hands were freezing as they grabbed onto her own. 

“Silly Ente, you fell asleep.” She giggled as Y/n struggled to stand.  

“Gänse…” Matilda’s nickname slipped from her tongue in awe. She hadn’t seen her sister this clearly since she was a child, the image of her nearly making her eyes water. 

Matilda gasped and grinned wildly. “So you do remember me! I was afraid you might have forgotten about me.”  her grin twisted into a pout, her e/c eye a reflection of y/n’s own. 

“I would never.” Y/n quickly reassured her, reaching out to ruffle the top of her head. 

Her sister’s small hand wrapped tightly around Y/n’s wrist, stopping her ministrations. A dark look overtook her playful one, and her eyes' cheerful spark fizzled into something more sinister. Nothing like the bright innocence they were moments before. “Then why did you leave me behind?” 

“W-what?” Y/n stuttered, and tried to pull her hand back but it wouldn’t budge. Matilda’s grip was too strong, and it pulled Y/n closer to her. 

“You threw me in a box and left me in your closet!” Her voice morphed from that of her sister’s, to something more shrill and inhuman. “You locked me away!”  Her skin took on a more grayish hue than her normal s/c, devoid of its original color. She tugged roughly on Y/n’s arm, pulling her towards the closet. 

“Get me out! Get me out NOW. I want out!” The shrill tone devolved into screams that had Y/n's free hand shooting up to cover one of her ears. Y/n dug her heels into the floor to keep herself from being dragged towards the closet door that had now been thrown open to reveal a deep swirling darkness, similar to that of which she had seen yesterday out front.  Her sock clad feet had little to resist on the polished wood, making her incapable of stopping herself from inching closer. “NOW. NOW. GET ME OUT NOW.” 

 Y/n tried to yell for her to stop, but she couldn’t hear her own voice over the overwhelming chorus of her sisters shrieking. She tried to pry her sister's fingers from her arm with no success, her skin burning where Matilda’s palm rested. The screaming didn’t stop, it only got implausibly louder, filling the room with a thousand voices all screaming the same thing. “GET ME OUT NOW.” 

Her little fingers began to dig into Y/n’s skin, so hard that blood began to trickle down the sides of her arm and onto the floor. In one final attempt to remove her, Y’n grabbed at Matilda’s wrist and yanked as hard as she could with her captured arm. Y/n collided with the floor, flung back from the force of her pull. She tried to scramble to her feet, but her sister was on her before she could. She crawled over her legs, every part of her she touched cold as ice. She gripped the side’s of Y/n’s face between two small decaying hands and Y/n looked up in horror at Matilda- No. This wasn’t Matilda, she denied vehemently as she watched her sister’s eyes begin to sink back, one after the other into her skull until nothing remained but black holes. The rot from Matilda’s hands snaked up her arms and spread to her face -the flesh peeling back in patches revealing spots of her skull beneath its surface. 

“Your turn, Ente.” 

_________________________________________

With a gasp, Y/n awoke in her bed. Outside of her curtains the sky was a shade of dark blue that signaled the sun had almost fully set. Her heart was thundering in her chest and her breathing was labored from the lingering effects of her nightmare. Her eyes locked onto the spot on the carpet where her sister had stood in her dream. Nothing. She frantically checked her arm that her sister had grabbed, but it remained unharmed. She snapped her eyes over to the closet door and her heart nearly stopped beating entirely. The door to her closet was slightly ajar, which was not at all how she left it before she had fallen asleep. Jumping to her feet, she slammed the door closed and pressed her back against it. She gripped her shirt where her heart was trying to hammer its way out of her chest and took deep breaths in an attempt to ground herself. 

A knock on the other side of her door had her clamping a hand over her own mouth to keep herself from screaming. With slow quiet steps she made her way to the door, scaring herself with thoughts of what could be behind it. 

Another knock rang out. “Y/n? Are you awake? It’s Jimin.”

She let out a ragged breath, relief swarming her entire being as she swung open the door. 

“There you are- You’re not ready.” His eyes raked her form and stopped back at her face. His eyes flashed with concern at her obviously distressed state. Y/n didn’t need to look at herself in the mirror to know she probably looked like she had seen a ghost- because she had.

“Ready?” She tried to mask how breathless her voice sounded with a cough.

“Um. Yeah, Jin said you wanted to go to Adelaide with me again tonight to see the show.” He tried to look over her shoulder into her room, but she blocked his line of sight defensively. That was when her eyes registered his outfit: A moss green silky button up that he tucked into a pair of black straight hemmed dress pants held up by a simple belt, his arm bent up to hold a jacket and a white garment bag over his shoulder with hooked fingers. One long silver earring dangled from his ear and fell to his jawline, and the fingers that were visible from where he held one hand in his pocket were adorned with rings. He smelt fresh -of eucalyptus and rain, like he had just come out of the shower. Oh. He was all dressed up to go with her, and she wasn't anything near presentable. Great. Now she looked like an ass. Thanks Jin. She had to resist rolling her eyes at his obvious attempt to distract her, but held it in fear that Jimin would think it was directed at him.

“Oh…yes. I’m really sorry Jimin, I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep and it totally slipped my mind. What time is it?” She fumbled around her pockets for her phone not yet realizing she had left it on her bed. No use waiting for Yoongi now, she had probably slept through him coming back -if he had at all.

“Would it offend you if I said I expected as much?” He gave her a sweet smile and chuckled. “It’s a little after 6, and the show starts at 7:30. I came a bit early to give you some time in case you forgot to set an alarm, Jin warned me you had seemed tired and came back here to rest.”

“You are a saint Jimin, you know that?” 

“I know.” He clicked his tongue with hubris and motioned his hand towards her room.

She stepped back in and left the door open for him to follow. She stopped in her tracks and smacked a hand to her forehead. “Shit! I’m so sorry Jimin, I didn’t pack any of my nice clothes.” She turned to give him a sheepish grimace. 

“I know I’m not painting you in the best light right now and I don’t mean to insult you, but I also came prepared for that as well.” He swung his jacket and the bag he was holding in front of himself, and waltzed into her room, flopping both onto her mattress. 

“Take back what I said about you being a saint, you are god himself.” She grabbed the bag and began to unzip it, unveiling a green cowl neck satin dress that she recognized as one of her own that she left behind in storage when she had gone to D.C, with the intention of getting it back when she had her own place. Tugging it out of the bag she ushered herself into the bathroom to get ready. “I’ll be quick I promise!” She shot him a glance over her shoulder. Jimin, who had been giving a sideways glance to her closet when she spoke, turned to her with a soft “Take your time.” 

She rinsed off the nightmare with a quick hot shower, the water relaxed the muscles in her body enough for her to reground herself in reality. Jimin’s presence in the other room made her feel more secure, and she was thankful to not be alone. She was so grateful that for a half second she almost thought about thanking Jin for his decision to force her out and about. Almost. 

Stepping out of the shower and drying off, she smeared lotion onto her skin and moisturized her face. She eyed her makeup bag from its spot on the counter, and decided to go with something light just to bring some liveliness back to her face. She unzipped the dress and stepped into it, pulling the strappy sleeves over her arms and zipping the back. It thankfully still fit, if not just hugging her waist a bit tighter and the hem hung a bit higher as it flared over her slightly wider hips. She didn’t mind it though - she wasn’t 19 anymore- and in her mind it made it look better than before. Exiting the bathroom she paused. Jimin had her closet door open, and was crouched in front of it. A twang of fear ran up her spine at the sight of it open, but nothing was wrong within it that she could see. Just her lackluster supply of clothes and him. His head turned at the sound of the door opening, and his eyes lit up with warmth as he took in her appearance. 

“You look lovely.” He said as he stood back up to his full height, one of her dark green cardigan sweaters  tucked into the crook of his elbow that he must’ve pulled from her closet.

Y/n blushed at the compliment, and walked over to gratefully accept the sweater. “Thank you. So do you- I forgot to say that when you first got here.” 

“Don’t mention it.” The tips of his ears flushed a rosy pink as he reached out behind her into the garment bag, and pulled out a nice pair of black shoes- which she had also tucked away into storage. 

“You really are the best, Jimin Park. I owe you big time.” She sat at the edge of her bed to slip the shoes on over her feet. He laughed heartily and reached his hand over to knock the closet door closed with his finger tips. 

"Your presence tonight is enough." He held his hand out for her to help her up, which she did happily.

They made their way to the doorway, passing the dining room at the bottom of the steps. A sight from the corner of her eye made her steps falter. There, sitting smugly in a red loose fit henley, was Yoongi. She couldn’t confidently say he was smug, because how would he know she was looking for him? But his eyes were definitely teasing her over the rim of his glass as he took a sip.  Jungkook was to his left freshly showered in an oversized t-shirt, and Namjoon was where she had sat the night prior, in some jeans and a cream sweater. From his spot next to Namjoon, Hoseok perked up when he saw her, but seemed to deflate at the sight of her moving past the door instead of joining them.

“Aww, I was hoping to sit next to you tonight.” Hoseok pouted, and held the white sleeve of his printed shirt up and out of the plate of steamed vegetables in the center of the table while he reached over them.

She stared Yoongi down as she passed -unable to engage with him thanks to her mother also being seated at the table, spooning a bite of rice and vegetables into her mouth. Jin sat next to her mother, in a powder blue hoodie and sweats set, and seemed to be purposefully avoiding looking in Y/n’s direction by focusing on engaging in a chopstick fight for a piece of grilled meat with Jungkook. Her father was not present tonight. 

“Going out tonight, Y/n?” Her mother stood from her chair, and hovered over by the propped doors of the dining room.

“Yeah.” Her reply was curt. She didn’t have anything she wished to say to her. She caught Jungkook eyeing her from over her mother’s shoulder with an unreadable expression. Then Jin’s chopsticks shot out like a bird on the hunt from behind where she could see, and swiped the piece of meat that Jungkook left dangling from his own, forcing him to tear his eyes away from her and defend himself.

“Okay.” Her mom took a hesitant step back into the dining room, bringing Y/n's attention back to her. “Be safe.” 

Y/n turned from her mother so she could roll her eyes. “I’ll be fine.” 

Jimin held the front door open for her, the cool air beckoning her out of this suddenly stifling room. She promised herself she would find Yoongi another time. She was going to have a nice night with Jimin, and she wasn’t going to force him to have any more uncomfortable conversations than she already had today. 

“You look beautiful.” Y/n heard her mother’s quiet voice calling from behind her, but she pretended she didn’t hear it. Jimin shut the door behind them.

They took their time walking to the hotel, and she was thankful that Jimin had the foresight to grab her a sweater- still too early in the season for the nights to be warm enough without it. The hotel was lit up and lively, casting a warm golden glow over all of the guests shuffling through. Jimin slid his warm palm into hers as he wove them through the bustling guests in the lobby with practiced ease. The gesture was normal for them, they had held hands more times than she could count. Even just this morning, he had done almost the exact same thing. She wasn’t sure what was so different about it this time, that it made her heart flutter in her chest. Maybe it was the way they were both dressed up so nice, and the cast of the lights that made everything look like a period romance movie. She shook the thoughts away as they skipped passed the line at the door to a cheerful well dressed woman -a different host than before- who led them back immediately, up to one of the round plush booths near the front that had a small ‘reserved’ sign propped in the middle. Two glasses of lavender lemonade were already placed in each spot, inviting them in to drink. The music playing over the speakers was much louder than it had been at lunch, Louis Armstrong’s version of La Vie en Rose drowning out the sounds of the kitchen and the loud sound of the mingling crowd.

They settled in their seats, and Jimin pulled his hand from hers to place his jacket in the spot next to him. He gestured to her own sweater, and she quickly slipped her arms out with a rushed ‘thanks’. He laid it neatly over his own, and scooched closer to her. 

“I come here almost every night for dinner. Taehyung is a good friend of mine, so I like to support him.” He leant forward towards her to speak close to her ear so she could hear him better over the music. “I always drag someone with me. So if you ever want to come again let me know.” His smile and fond eyes were tempting her to take him up on his offer already, but she refrained. “Plus it will be nice to spend more time with you. I really did miss you.” 

Her response was cut short as the lights dimmed. The red plush curtains that had been drawn to conceal the stage began to move, and were pulled back to expose the full live band lining the back of the large stage, accompanied by Mr. Jung - who waved enthusiastically to the crowd from the piano bench. Standing in the center was Taehyung Kim, donned in a plunging black dress shirt, and a red suit with shimmering swirling patterns embedded into the fabric. He was just as dazzling as in his photo, his smile lighting up the room as the beginning string motif of Engelbert Humperdinck’s ‘Man Without Love’ forced the crowds attention to him.

He held the microphone stand with one long hand, the other's delicate fingers splayed on the mic. His voice was velvety smooth as they formed around the words of the first verse. His hips and shoulders gently swayed to the instruments that complemented his voice with unmitigated chemistry. Hoseok was right, his voice was made for this no- he was made for this. He worked the crowd flawlessly like a natural born performer. By the time the chorus arrived Taehyung’s eyes had found her and Jimin in the crowd, and he kept his eyes on hers as his voice soothed over her ears, beginning the second verse.

“So if you see my girl, please send her home to me~” He sent her a flirtatious wink and finally tore his eyes away from hers to gaze over the rest of the crowd. Her cheeks erupted in a deep red, and she put one hand on her cheek to cover it. She could’ve sworn she heard Jimin laugh at her teasingly, but she didn’t dare look at him. The song ended with a boisterous finale, and she couldn’t stop her hands from clapping as fast as they could. Only stopping when Taehyung held his hands up to silence the room's praise.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is my biggest honor to be your entertainer for this evening.” His speaking voice was deep and sultry as he addressed the crowd, god always picks his favorites, doesn't he?

“On the piano tonight we have our very own Mr. Jung making an appearance tonight,” He paused to allow a short burst of applause. “Behind me, we have the Wörner Hotel Big Band, as well as some honorary members of the Wörner orchestra group if you wouldn’t mind giving them a warm welcome as well.” He took a step to the side to allow for the instrumentalist behind him to get the attention they deserved, and he took that moment to flick a stray curl from his forehead. He returned to his spot and cradled the microphone close to his lips. “We hope you enjoy the rest of our show tonight, thank you.” His eyes found hers once more with a wiggle of his brows and he stepped back to shout something happily to the band. Mr. Jung took to the keys with gusto, starting the opening of a lively rendition of ”Come Dance With Me.” 

His feet carried him across the stage, moving  his body with the fluidity of fine wine. His seductive eyes repeatedly catching hers with purpose throughout the night. Every time she blushed in response to his stares or words his smile grew brighter, and it only spurred him on further. If he keeps this up she wouldn’t last the rest of the night she fanned herself at the thought. Jimin couldn’t contain his laughter at her torture, even struggling to keep his composure when he leaned over to the waiter to order them both something to eat.

The long and riveting setlist had just ended with Sinatra’s “Strangers in the Night’, and Y/n’s stomach was full from the array of food Jimin had ordered. Her face remained so hot from the amount of times Taehyung had singled her out to openly flirt with her, she worried that it might be permanent. Jimin threw his jacket over one shoulder, and kept a hold of her sweater for her while he helped her out of the booth. Tucking her hand in his arm, he guided her through the cramped crowd that was attempting to shuffle out of the exit, towards the back near the stage. The security guard standing guard at the staff door recognized Jimin and stepped to the side to let them through. The hall was dark and cramped with musicians disassembling and tucking their instruments away safely into their cases. Excusing herself passed them, she followed Jimin back into the ornate red and gold ‘green” room where Taehyung sat reclined on the couch on his phone with a small fan pointed in the direction of his face.  

His eyes flicked up to hers and a smirk wormed its way to his lips, standing promptly to greet them. His arms stretched out towards Jimin, who returned the gesture with a quick hug. 

“How did I do?” Taehyung parted from Jimin, who gave him a firm pat on the shoulder in response.

“Wonderful. Y/n and I had a great time.” Jimin rubbed a finger delicately against his bottom lip to hide a smile that was beginning to grow on his own face as he made a sport of bouncing his eyes from her to Taehyung. 

“Did she now?” Taehyung turned a dazzling smile to her, and held out his hand. After a moment where she realized he expected her to take it, she did so quickly- already managing to make herself blush again. 

He didn’t laugh at her, instead letting his smile bloom wider when she placed her hand in his.  

“It is beyond wonderful to see you again, although I doubt you remember me very well.” He brought the back of her hand up to gently brush his lips against it, and she felt as though she might drown with the way his amber eyes held her captive.  He didn’t let go yet, choosing to smooth small circles with his thumb over her knuckles. 

Her face went from rose to fire truck red as she realized she didn't infact remember him.

He barked a throaty laugh and dropped her hand. He spun to one of the make up chairs where he had a small vintage camera placed, and lifted the device to rest gingerly in his hands. 

“It’s really fine, we were young and I wasn’t around as much as everyone else.” He walked back over to them and gestured with the camera. “Would you mind if we all took a picture together to commemorate the reunion?” She nodded shyly, and he cheered. He gave the camera to a security guard, and guided Jimin and Y/n where to stand -a space in between them where he would go. Once he was satisfied with the lighting and where they stood, he took his spot between them, his right arm hovering over her waist and his left around Jimin’s shoulders to pull them both closer. “Besides, we can’t let the memory of how beautiful you look tonight slip away from us without at least one photo.”

She prayed her face had reached a somewhat normal color by the time the camera flashed, but she doubted it.

_________________________________________

Spending time with Jimin and Taehyung had been rejuvenating. Their company killing two birds with one stone: one, they both agreed to help give her a hand with her stuff down in D.C sometime next week; and two, had kept her earlier dream from plaguing her mind. So (fortunately for Jin) going out with Jimin ended up working in her favor. But by the time Taehyung had wished her goodnight after walking her to her room a little after midnight, the dream had crept back into her thoughts against her control. He had waited for her to reluctantly enter her own room before disappearing into his own directly across the hall from her, the comfort of his presence dissipated the second his door shut. When she opened the closet to find something to sleep in, she had to hype herself up to even touch the handle by reminding herself that Jimin had been in there earlier and everything had looked normal. She didn’t know what would be better for her: pulling the box out and keeping it on her desk to appease the demonic dream version of her sister, or keeping it locked in the closet- preferably with a padlock if she could. She settled for keeping it in the closet for the night, pushing her nightstand in front of the door for good measure. She slept surprisingly easy. Whatever was in the hallway must’ve taken pity on her nervous system because she didn’t hear any haunting footsteps that night either. She still kept her door locked regardless -she wasn’t willing to risk anything. Not with what had happened that afternoon still fresh in her mind. 

She awoke on Saturday around eight-thirty, feeling invigorated from a decent night’s sleep and ready to take on her day with new found enthusiasm. She would find Yoongi today, and nobody would be able to stop her, She thought with gritted teeth. Not even my creepy sister’s ghost. 

She flung  open her closet with a bravery that was only fueled by her stubbornness to see her mission through, and plucked out a well worn oversized green crewneck and her favorite pair of jeans. Throwing the shirt over her head and the pants over her hips, she bent down to grab her boots when something on the floor caught the light from her window, forcefully diverting her attention to it. A thin line of black powdery substance had been laid neatly following the threshold in front of her shoes. She must’ve missed it last night in her panicked rush to get in and out of the closet as fast as humanly possible, noting some of the edges were dented in. Leaning over it to grab the dress shoes from last night- sure enough, there was a black stain along the toe line. Placing the shoes back, she pinched some between her fingers and held it close to face to get a better look at it. If she didn’t know any better, she would say it felt closest to salt or sugar. It had no smell to indicate anything otherwise, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to put it in her mouth to taste it. She rolled the small grains between her thumb and pointer finger, each one leaving a black residue in their wake that she couldn’t fully remove -not even when she trudged into the bathroom to scrub it off in the sink. She patted her hands dry and accepted the faded smudges on her fingertips for the time being. She could sneak into the kitchen for a stronger soap, or a sponge to help with it later. She slipped on her shoes, taking her time while she was bent down to stare at the black line once more to try and piece together where it had come from. She hadn’t seen any black residue on Jimin’s fingers, so that effectively removed him as a suspect - and he hadn’t mentioned anything to her about it either- meaning it probably wasn’t there at the time. That left the only probable answer to be that it had to have been placed there when she was out last night with Jimin. 

By the time she stepped out of her room, she heard someone else's door open as hers latched closed. The noise led her to where a tired looking Taehyung had emerged from his room, probably with the same intentions that she had of finding breakfast. 

“Good morning Taehyung.” She chirped, and began her journey down the hall. She heard him grumble a ‘morning’ back. 

“ I take it you’re not a morning person?” She called back over her shoulder to him with a teasing grin.

Catching a slow shake of his head, her shoulders shook with subdued laughter. The smell of bacon had her body moving down the stairs and through the dining room entrance on its own, being led by her grumbling stomach. The table was almost entirely empty, save for a tired puffy-faced Namjoon nursing a mug of what smelt like herbal tea close to his chest. His sleep ridden eyes stared unfocused out the front facing windows to the left of the dining room. Catching the movement with her entrance, he nodded his head at her distractedly.

“How was the show last night?” His words warped around a yawn. 

“It was amazing, Taehyung really knows how to put on a show.” She took a seat across from him and mirrored where he was looking, down the front of the estate and down to the distant courtyard of the rear side of the hotel. 

 He hummed out an “I’ll say.” in reply. 

She enjoyed the silence, relishing in his comforting presence. The one thing she always appreciated about Namjoon was that he just always was. He was never cruel, but he didn’t shy away from conflict either. He was honest to himself and others around him, a quality she admired. Whether the real reason was actually that long spiel about the honor of being true and authentic that gave when he was a few beers deep, or if it was simply the fact that he was a terrible liar -practically blowing his own ears off with the pressure at which he had to hold his breath when told to keep a secret. She wondered if he had known about her parents' choice to give the hotel to her brother as she took in the dining where it had all happened years ago, or if he had been kept in the dark as much as her because of his unfailing nature. She feels a twang of guilt at that thought, realizing he may have taken a punishment he didn’t deserve.  

“Incase you’re nervous, your dad never cooks breakfast. It’s not common for him to cook dinner either. It was just a one time thing for your first day back. It’s usually one of the cooking staff, or occasionally a few of us like to get together and make something.” Namjoon took a sip of his tea, savoring the flavor for a moment with his eyes closed. “Your parent’s don't eat breakfast with us either. Ever since you left they’ve taken up a bit of distance, so don’t expect them to be around the estate all that often. Your mom tries to at least make it to dinner most of the time, though.” He cleared his throat and set the mug back down. 

“You cook?” Her eyebrows nearly rose into her hairline at the thought of the friendly giant in front of her bumbling through the kitchen, choosing to ignore the bit about her parents for now by simply placing the information in her back pocket to mull over later.

“God, no.” He snorted at the idea. “I’m on strict dish duty these days.” 

Another comfortable silence ensued while she dug through her brain for another discussion topic. "Hoseok mentioned you ended up getting your degree, how was that?” 

His eyes lit up. “Yeah, I did. I enrolled in this accelerated program in California for botany and horticulture. I took some courses in modern developmental landscaping as well to help with stuff on the job. I want to go back eventually for another masters degree in sustainable management or something similar -or to even getting my Phd down the line so I can teach- but I haven’t decided. I have a well paying job that I can stay at forever if I want to, which is a lot more than anyone else can say. I’m just kind of…” He pressed his lips together in a thin line while he grappled for the right word. “Vibing. Chilling. You know?” 

She nodded. “ I get that. I tried school but I kept hopping around too much and got overwhelmed. I’m glad you found what you like doing.” 

“What were you thinking of going for?” He gestured to her with his mug before taking another long sip.

“Everything and nothing. I like plants and health sciences but I’m shit at chemistry so that really held me back. I like artsy stuff but I feel like art school is a scam, personally. Last thing I left off on was some sort of general business management major but I was knee deep in science courses and burnt out already. I just can’t seem to find a worthy enough passion that feels like the right fit ever since- well, you know.  And since I was paying for my own schooling at the time, I felt a lot of pressure to pick the right thing. I ended up just taking a step back, and I guess just at the right time.” She played with her fingers inattentively, and he just hummed thoughtfully in response. 

“What kind of plant stuff did you like when you were there?” 

“Mostly plant research for breeding, or growing and managing plants for nurseries. I used to read plant science textbooks for fun. That’s when I think I understood why I didn't have that many friends.”  She laughed at herself, and he joined in. 

He held up his mug in a mock ‘cheers’ motion.  “I do the same. Maybe we can trade.” 

“Sounds like a deal.” 

One of the cooks popped her head through the kitchen door, counting two heads, before disappearing again. Moments later she came out with two hot plates loaded with bacon, eggs, a cup of fresh fruit and toast. Both her and Namjoon muttered their expressions of gratitude before digging in. The rest of breakfast was silent, but she didn’t mind it. Even when a dazed and drowsy Taehyung was pushed through the kitchen doors and into the dining room by a stressed cook who shoved a mug of coffee into his hands on her way out. He wasn’t up for much conversation either, satisfied with sipping his coffee in slumber induced stupor. Even though she was enjoying the quiet, she was on a mission today that she was dead set on completing, so she tried to get what she could out of Namjoon. 

“Does anyone work over the weekends?” She began her interrogation unobtrusively, as she pushed the last spoonful of eggs around her plate. 

Namjoon wiped a bit of jam off his cheek with a napkin before answering. “Sometimes. I don't, personally. Jungkook works a half day one Saturday a month- today I think? Jimin does during busy seasons.” He coughed around a bite of eggs, taking a moment to recompose himself. “Hoseok works valet the most on weekends, it’s when we have the most guests.” He stated matter of factly.

“I work Thursday through Monday.” Taehyung piped up groggily from the end of the table. Still settling for just his mug of coffee.  “In case you’re wondering.” He was much clumsier with his words in the morning, and Y/n found it endearing. 

“What about Yoongi?” She pushed her plate away from herself, too full to finish the last few bites. Taehyung gestured to it, and without hesitation she slid it down the table to his waiting hands. He picked through what was left of the fruit and bacon, no longer interested in their conversation.

“Uh I don't know anything about him.” Namjoon tripped over his own words as they tumbled from his mouth. His neck was bloomed with pink. He was lying. She couldn’t find it in herself to be mad at his pathetic excuse of a lie. 

“He’s off on weekends. Except for emergencies.” Taehyung’s response was slurred together around a particularly large strawberry, his tongue having trouble reaching the roof of his mouth to fully form the syllables.

She stifled a laugh with her hands, missing the glare Namjoon shot Taehyung from outside of her line of sight. The latter just shrugged his shoulders before picking up a slice of melon.

“Any idea of what he does on the weekends?” She tried her best to sound disinterested.

Taehyung shrugged again but in her direction. 

“No-”

“Barely.”

Taehyung and Namjoon spoke over each other. Namjoon sent him a much more obvious glare this time around, his eyes narrowing. 

“Barely?” Y/n turned to face Taehyung with her body, effectively cutting Namjoon from her vision. 

“Yeah. Sometimes he wanders around the hotel or the grounds trying to get us to join his weird club. Other times he goes over to visit Gettysburg.I think he does tours and shops- the likes.” 

“His club?” Y/n pushed her luck as far as it could go, and she could practically feel the heat of Namjoons face as he held back from doing anything too obvious. Taehyung wasn’t hiding anything like the others had been. Which meant he was clueless to what was going on, and this could work in her favor.

“Mmhmm. It’s some weird occ-”

“Want the rest of mine?” Namjoon loudly cut Taehyung off by sliding the rest of his fruit down to Taehyung. He severely misjudged his aim, the bowl hitting the side of Taehyung's coffee resulting in the mug slopping a large amount of the beverage onto the table and Taehyung’s shirt.

“Are you serious? Dude…” 

Taehyung stood up and made his way into the kitchen to find something to wipe up the spilled liquid. Namjoon just looked sheepishly at Y/n, his face a shade of red that could put a prize winning brandywine tomato to shame. 

“Oops.”

_________________________________________

The rest of the morning consisted of parading the entire hotel main building from top to bottom, scanning for any sign of Yoongi with no luck. It’s like he had just vanished. With every minute that ticked by, she grew more hopeless. She tried Jin again, but he just tried to shove more pamphlets into her arms and set her up on more excursions with Jimin to which she politely turned down, using a white lie excuse that she already had plans that evening with Namjoon. 

Too much time had passed, and she was running out of ideas. The last spot she could think to look in the property was the Wörner Historical Society building behind the larger gardens -but she doubted he would be taking a historical tour about his workplace on his day off. Which left her options down to trampling through the miles and miles of walking trails, or calling Hoseok for a ride to downtown Gettysburg to try and scope him out there. Pulling out her phone to call the number he had texted her with, a new idea wormed its way into her brain. The time stared back up at her, reading 1:18pm. Jungkook’s shift would be up by now if he did work a half day today. She thought giddily, setting her sights on her next victim. 

Making a sharp right and cutting across the grass and children’s play area, she picked up a light jog back to the estate. Hoseok had shared that he and Yoongi swapped rooms, she reminded herself as she took the steps two at a time. His comment about Jungkook being his new neighbor reassuring her that Jungkook was still in the same room as he had always been: down the left hall, a few doors down.

She stood with both feet planted outside his door listening for any sound that signaled he was in there. Not hearing anything, she raised her fist to rap her knuckles on the solid wood. When all she got back was more silence she did her best not to feel disheartened. Maybe he didn’t make it back yet, or went to the gym again. She huffed. She had the option of waiting outside Yoongi’s room until he got back -but who knows what time that would be. She cursed and knocked on his door with more oomph, growing more impatient by the second. She will try Namjoon again, if she pushed hard enough she could surely get him to crack, she surmised. The sound of a door unlocking broke her from her thoughts. 

From around the door frame, Jungkook’s mop of wet hair curled delicately around his ears and hung slightly longer with the weight of a few droplets. Y/n’s eyes lit up with relief, finally having a potential solid lead.His dark eyes were apprehensive, peering out over her shoulder into the hall, and back at her own. The opening didn’t last long though, it only took him a second before he started to close the door in her face. She placed her palm firmly on the door to stop it from closing, pulling a pair of furrowed brows and a surprised grunt from Jungkook’s throat at her brashness. 

“Sorry to bother you Jungkook, but I really need help with something and I don’t know who else to go to. Would you mind giving me a hand?” She looked up at his rounded eyes with desperation, while he simply kept his brows knit and his black eyes emotionless as they seemed to inspect her. He didn’t respond, and she realized he might be contemplating closing the door on her again - if the way his eyes were looking at the hand she was holding it open with was anything to go by. She made an effort to try again before he went through with the thought. “Please, it’s really important.” 

He wiggled his nose in thought and sniffed passively. After what felt like hours to Y/n, he gave her one short nod.

 “Give me one sec.” His voice was deep, and scratchy as if this was only one of the first few times he had used it today. He stepped back into his room keeping his door ajar, but she wasn’t sure if that was an invitation, or if she should wait outside. So she decided the latter was the safest choice, and tried not to look too much like she was staring at him or his room while he shuffled about. His room was dark, barely lit by rays of sunlight that filtered through his closed curtains and whatever light bled in from the hallway. He was wearing a pair of black joggers, and a black oversized long sleeve that was cuffed over his forearms which -to Y/n's astonishment- revealed a splatter of tattoos that spread down the back of his right  hand and up under his sleeve. She must have been too distracted by her own emotional turmoil to notice them at dinner. He was standing over his dresser, messing with what sounded like a tinkling box of jewelry, but she couldn’t be sure with how dark it was. She couldn't stop her jaw from dropping this time as she watched him take out a clear piercing retainer from his lip, and replace it with a silver lip ring that glinted in the low light, repeating  the same process with his eyebrow. Piercings and tattoos are something she never would have guessed from him in a million years. She had to snap her mouth shut when he turned around to come back to the door, slipping on a pair of sneakers near the threshold. When he rose back to his full height he was much closer to her than before, with his jaw clenched and his eyes expectant.

 Was he always this pretty? She shoved the intrusive thought away abruptly. What was in the water the past two days? They were her friends, she didn’t have time for any of these thoughts. “What is it you need help with?” His bluntness was something she was going to have to get reused to, its resurgence in her life catching her off guard and leaving her floundered for a moment.

“Y-yeah. So, about that, it’s not really a thing so much as a person. I’ve been trying to find Yoongi all day, and it feels like he either doesn’t want to be found, or he’s ignoring me.” She gave a pathetic excuse at a joke, which ushered no response from him but an impassive stare. She coughed and tried to recover. “Anyways, I have yet to get a chance to really say hi to him, with me being back and all…” She trailed off. The way he was staring at her wasn’t angry by any means, but it could only be described as all-consuming. His eyes that she would’ve bet money had been an amber brown his entire life,   were so dark they were nearly black, and looking right through her. Her memory of his eyes flickering when they ran into each other yesterday rushed to the forefront of her mind. She felt as though she couldn’t hide from his eyes even when she averted her own to glance down the hall. She could still feel them all over her like a sticky cloud.

“No.” His response was short, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, impatient to close the door again. Y/n looked up at him, confused. 

“I’m…I’m sorry?” Y/n stuttered, her eyebrow twitching with mild irritation.

“No.” Was all he said again before trying to close his door once more. Y/n wedged her shoulder against it, and shoved her way through. Passing the threshold of irritation and placing herself into an indignant rage.

“Sorry, I’m not accepting no as an answer right now. Try again some other time, I don’t want to be bullshitted anymore.” She stood in the center of his room, and folded her arms across her chest with a huff. 

His stare remained vacant and he seemed to think for a moment, his tongue peeking out to mess with the metal ring encircling his bottom lip. He pushed it around for half a minute. He released it as he opened his mouth to speak. 

“Okay, it's another time now. No.”  she saw one side of his mouth quirk into a smirk before it dropped again, his eyes taking on a brief shimmer of jocularity.

It didn’t matter how pretty she thought he was a minute ago, he was getting on her nerves now. 

“Look, I don’t know what my mom told you -but whatever it was- I don’t care. She told me not to talk to you or Yoongi, yet here I am practically willing to break down your door to talk to you. She must’ve told people to keep us separated, because I've been practically auctioned every excursion there is within a 25 mile radius whenever I bring up talking to Yoongi, and you’ve been avoiding me like the plague. I'm going to find Yoongi and figure out what’s going on here with or without your help. So either you can keep saying no and delay the inevitable, or just get this over with now and help me find him. I won’t let you get in trouble with her, I promise.” 

Something she said struck a nerve, and she could see it. His shoulders tensed and his eye’s nervously wandered about the room and out into the hallway. So her mother had spoken to them. His reaction confirmed her suspicions. Now she had to confirm why, and she theorized that whatever Yoongi’s “club” was had something to do with it.

“Fine. I’ll go find him myself, maybe even join his special “Club” I’ve heard about.”  She hadn’t even taken a full step before Jungkook slammed his door shut and held his non tattooed hand firmly against it to hold it closed, shutting out a majority of the light that had previously been pulling in from the hallway.

“Don’t do that.” His wandering gaze turned hard while his voice remained even. He wasn’t shy like he had been when she first arrived, and she began to doubt if he was even shy at all. Maybe she had mistook his discomfort at being around both her and her mother at the same time as him being nervous.

“There is no reason to act like that, we can talk like adults here.” Y/n warily eyed how muscular he had gotten since she left and felt uneasy at the physical power imbalance that was now plainly visible. He was never aggressive growing up -anti social, sure- but never aggressive. She anchored herself with that memory of him, and hoped that it still stood true.

“You were talking too loud.” 

“Hoseok’s not here. And everyone else’s doors are closed- that’s if they’re even here either.”

“It’s not them I’m worried about.” 

Y/n was taken aback by his response, and confusion pulled her face into a scowl. Suddenly the room felt small, and her lungs felt like they weren’t getting enough air. But she tried to keep her breathing even. Have his eyes always been that dark? She thought to herself, as the lack of light gave the impression that they were much darker than she remembered.

“Let me out, Jungkook.” Y/n spoke slow and controlled, trying to conceal how unsettled she felt. 

“Not unless you promise you won't go find him.” He shook his head resolutely. 

“Why?”  

“Because.” He stated simply. 

“Not an answer. And I’m getting real tired of no one giving me real answers around here. It’s not fair. All everyone does anymore is lie to me and keep secrets. Please don’t be like them too, Jungkook. I deserve answers, at the very least.” She could feel her sanity slipping from the over saturation of riddles and excuses people just tossed her way. “I just want to understand. Please.” He remained in his spot, but from what Y/n could see, his resolve was cracking at her anguish. 

“Let me think.” His clear voice broke the tension, and the hand that was not holding the door closed tugged at the string of a small lamp balanced on a shelf near his door. It wasn’t much brighter but it was something. This was finally an answer Y/n could work with, and that tethered her brain from unraveling into complete insanity. 

He slid his palm from the door, and he let out a puff of air from his lips. A few more seconds passed before he looked at her again. “Tell me why.” 

“I already told you why, I just haven’t gotten to see him yet since I got here.” Y/n squirmed under his scrutinizing scan of her face.

“You’re lying. Tell me the truth and I’ll think about finding him for you.” 

They were stuck in a standstill, much like the day before at the front door. Except this time she was the uncomfortable one, and he was the one trying to comb through her brain for answers. 

“If I tell you the truth, you won't tell on me to my mom?” She fixed him with a misgiving side eye. 

“Depends on how bad the truth is.” He shrugged. 

“I was talking to Jimin yesterday at lunch, and he insinuated that there was more to me not inheriting the hotel than I might understand. He practically had to tell it to me in riddles because of some rule my mom set or something. From what I gathered, Yoongi has some of the answers I want. Judging by the rules my mom gave me I think that’s true. There. That’s the real reason why.”

Jungkook heaved a weary sigh that could make an old man weep from jealousy. “You really are stubborn and reckless, aren’t you?”

“As ever.” She smacked her arms down against her sides. There was no use hiding anything anymore.

 “Fine. I’ll take you to him.” 

Y/n nearly jumped for joy where she stood. “Thank you Jungk-” “-But I have a few conditions.” 

Her smile dropped immediately. “Come on!” She dragged her hands up and down her face with animated defeat. 

“Then I won’t.” He crossed his arms across his chest stubbornly, an eyebrow raised in a silent challenge. 

Y/n sucked in a breath and smoothed her hands down her face in exhaustion. 

“Fine! What are they?” She couldn’t lose this opportunity. After all, she could try and find loopholes in whatever his conditions were if need be, she decided. 

He held up four fingers and began to count them off. “You can’t talk to him alone. If you go see him, you have to have me or Namjoon with you. Anyone else doesn’t count.“ 

“Fine.” It took the strength of a thousand suns to not ask what on earth Namjoon could do against Yoongi if he was as bad as people say, but restrained herself. She will get Yoongi’s number again and call him from her room, easy. 

He pressed his second finger down. “Next: Don’t lie to me again.” 

“Okay.” Oops.

“I mean it.” He reprimanded her as if he could read her thoughts and she shrunk in on herself. He moved on to flicking his third finger down. “You won’t wander around the estate or hotel by yourself anymore.” 

“I’ll try, scouts honor.” It’s not technically lying if she was never a scout. 

His face dropped into a knowing look, before he held up his last finger. 

“And this last one is one of the most crucial for you to follow through with, do you understand me?” He looked at her plainly, but his black hole of a stare had reappeared, and it was sucking her in and making her skin crawl.

“I get it, just spit it out, I’m not six years old anymore.” She fidgeted in her spot, antsy from the way he was looking at her, wanting to just get going already. 

“That if you ever start feeling off or scared -or like it’s all too much, you will tell me immediately. I don’t care what time it is, or who else you’re with. Once you start getting involved with him, you can’t go back. They won't leave you alone. I need you to understand that.“ His tone was so dire, it nearly made her doubt what she was doing.

A sensation of being splashed with cold water smoothed her leftover frustration, cooling the fiery feeling and leaving uncertainty and goosebumps in its wake.“Jungkook, what is that even supposed to mean?” 

“It’s a yes or no question Y/n. Say yes and promise, or I won't take you to him. And don’t lie this time like you have been. I’ll know.” His eyes seemed bottomless as they stared at her, calling every hair on her arms to stand, and her soul to bear itself to him against her will.

She swallowed, and her throat felt thick. “I will, I promise.” 

This time she felt as though she couldn’t lie even if she wanted to.

“Good.” He gripped the door knob and tugged his door back open.  “I’ll help you find him then.” She trailed after him with timid steps to his  door, and watched his dark eyes look both ways down each end of the hall. When he stepped out and turned to check that she was following, she could’ve sworn they lightened a few shades into the friendly warm russet she remembered him always having. She told herself it was just the lack of lighting in his room, or the shifting angle of his face in the hall that had been the cause of his eyes looking so dark. But something in her gut told her otherwise. 

He gestured for her to follow him down the hall. Her brave and confident nature was beginning to ebb away, and anxiety clawed its way up her throat in its place. She watched the back of Jungkook’s head as he led them down the steps and out the door. He halted his movement on the porch, surveying the lawn. He made a notion like he had found what he was looking for, but she saw nothing out of the ordinary, save for a few children playing in the children’s play area near the hotel. Following his invisible lead through the lawn and straight into the treeline, it took her only a few minutes of walking for her to recognize where he was taking her. 

Ice ran up her spine as they cut through the brush and onto the dirt path she had walked hundreds of times before. The lake. They had roughly half a mile to go until they reached the lake they had used to swim in as young kids, and her breath quickened. She hadn’t come to visit the lake since she was 10 years old. The shame of feeling like she might be biting off more than she can chew already overwhelmed her.  “Once you start getting involved with him, you can’t go back. They won't leave you alone.” She was on the precipice of something, and she could feel it in every fiber of her being. She needed to keep going; she couldn’t turn back now.  As they walked, she watched his eyes oscillate between black and brown. They would darken like his pupils were stretching themselves open as wide as his irises when he tossed them from shoulder to shoulder, and then shrinking back to normal size when he gazed forward onto the trail, or when they passed over her. Something began to crawl beneath her skin and make itself at home there the final time she watched his eyes shift. They were approaching the final slope before their destination when it finally registered that she hadn't seen Jungkook look at his phone since she had begun speaking to him - not once. He shouldn’t have been able to just know where Yoongi was without reaching out to him. Maybe they had spoken earlier, and Yoongi had mentioned something. She reasoned with her own irrational fear. 

That’s what it was. Fear. 

The feeling burrowing deep inside of her was fear. And as if Jungkook could sense the exact second that she had come to that realization, he glanced back at her from over his shoulder with vague concern. Maybe her mother was right to tell her to stay away from them. The thought turned itself over as the lake came into view. The same old sign with its name printed in faded white ink. The same old wooden dock they had smacked with wet feet and jumped from more times than she could count -and where Yoongi was on his knees, distracted by the water in front of him. The same old water that they had swam in. The same water Yoongi was currently running his hand through monotonously. As if in a trace: he would cup his hand that had the sleeve of his red hoodie rolled up past his elbow, and dip it beneath the surface, only to cradle it in his lifted palm, and then let it run through his fingers and down his forearm back into the body of water to rest -only momentarily- before he did it again. She listened to that same water trickle back down for the second time.

The same water her sister had drowned in. 

“What are you doing here, Jungkook? I thought you were adamant about following the rules?” Yoongi didn’t look up from the rippling water as he spoke. 

Jungkook scoffed from his spot next to her. “I am. She’s not.” He jerked his chin in her direction, sliding his hands into his pockets. 

Yoongi flicked the water from his hands and craned his neck to look at them. It wasn’t smug or teasing like it had been at dinner the night before. It was apathetic. He wiped his arm on his black jeans and grunted from the effort it took to stand straight, brushing his hair that had fallen forward to sit tucked behind his ears. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice sounded a lot less confident than it had in her mind. Way to start off on a strong foot, she mentally kicked herself. 

“Same question to you. “ He tongued his cheek as he sized her up with a detached expression.

“I was told you might be able to help me with something.” As hard as she tried, she couldn’t take her eyes off of the black water. Flashes of her sister’s body floating on the surface permeated her vision, and she struggled to maintain her composure. 

“Oh yeah? Who.” His return was snide and cutting. 

“Jimin.” 

That seemed to catch him off guard, his head twitching to the side as he sucked a breath in between his teeth. 

“Did he now?” The laugh that broke from his mouth was humorless. “Well, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”  He bent down to grab a drawstring bag left at the foot of the dock, opening the top and sticking his hand in to rummaged through it. 

“I think he’s right.” She rushed out, trying to get him to pay her any mind.

“For what it’s worth, I do too. But I don’t feel like getting me and both my parents fired for it if he happens to be wrong so...” He didn’t bother looking up from the contents of the bag while his feet carried him with purpose towards where the wooden planks met the grass. He was leaving. She ran up to the edge and blocked his path, much to Jungkook’s dismay. She couldn’t lose him now.

They came head to head, Yoongi lifting his head from the bags opening in concealed shock at her sudden closeness as she all but grabbed him with Jungkook hot on her tail.

“I have spent years trying to pick myself up from losing the hotel. I spent years alone picking up the pieces of the puzzle as to why but they never fit. No one reached out to me with any explanation or apology. No one called to check in. Not a single, goddamn one of you even though you all knew how much it meant to me.” She felt tears prick at her eyes as she finally took her pent up anger out on the poor man in front of her, but she couldn’t stop the opening of the flood gates. “I tried to find something else. ANYTHING else to fill that void but I couldn’t. I could only think of this place, and what I could do with it if it was still mine. This place was- no, is my dream. My life is nothing without this hotel and the people inside of it. And god so help me, if you have any answers as to why, or even what I can do to prove that I can handle it you will tell me. Right now.” Her chest heaved by the end of her explosion, and she almost felt bad for a moment at how he looked so caught off guard. 

Yoongi’s wide eyed stare melted away. A new look took over his face. Pride. “You really want to know?” 

“Y/n.” Jungkook put his hand tenderly on her elbow, and shook his head once in her direction. His now brown eyes silently pleading with her to say otherwise. 

“Yes.” She could not make this any clearer. 

Yoongi’s face split into a shit eating grin, his eyes alight with mischief. “Well then, I guess you better help me find them. Yeah?” 

_________________________________________

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I hope you enjoyed your little "date" with Jimin! Now that we've met all of the characters I can work on posting mood boards.

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[zmediaoutlet]

My ask got too long so I’ll send a 2 parter, hopefully Tumblr doesn’t eat one of them.i’ve always valued your opinions on spn things (feel free to ignore this ask if you don't feel like answering lol). i'm a big dean!girl, but love both brothers and can see good and bad qualities in both (which you should be able to if they're well-written), and i try to follow people-not necessarily with the same views as me, but similar ish.

i like to be challenged on my opinions, but i also don't wanna be triggered everytime i come here. but ALL i see these days are abuser!dean, how basically every action of his is so negative and selfish and awful. And if it’s not hate, then it’s the fetishizing of it, like «Oh yes he’s so abusive and there’s nothing hotter!!!» And I’m always like.. whatever floats your boat but is this all there is???? I guess my question is, what’s your take on these arguments? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

hallo anon -- loving both brothers is the right and true move, so good on you, you're taking in the show as it exists.

I really don't know what's going on with the gals these days. I hear some people calling them 'atticwifers' -- it gags me, lol, but it's a good description. We should pause and put in a thing here which is: people do a lot of stuff for porn reasons, and if they're doing it for porn reasons I don't care at all. Go on with your bad self. Whatever you're jilling to is between you and the magic button, and if that's lolita sammy getting turned on big bad dean's big bad dick then I hope it's satisfactory. Don't forget to hydrate. When we talk about actual analysis, however -- oh boy.

(And also, really, who cares if someone's bad at analysis. Most people are. It's just when it's this pervasive that it starts to chap my tits, and I have nice tits. They shouldn't be chapped!)

My actual take is that these are not "arguments" but rather a long-form version of self-inserts. Y/n is meant to be taking it up the duff from Sam, not pretending you are him. Nevertheless that seems to be what's happening. By which I mean--

You hate your dad. He's such a dick. He's a man, and men are mean and gross and evil and white men especially so, ick. Fuck the patriarchy!! Men like sports and they like beer and they like red meat and they like 70s rock music and they like big muscle cars and they like porn and don't apologize for it and they (and this is the worst part) sometimes they tell you what to do, or have expectations of you, and they're so annoying and brutish and dumb. By contrast, you are someone who fancies themself an intellectual -- maybe you don't feel like you fit in with your family. Maybe you don't like beer or big cars or 70s rock music. You're the blonde chick in the Munsters. So, who's your favorite Winchester brother?

Is he even really a brother? Honestly he's so woman-coded. He's just like you! He doesn't even really like beer ignore that he drinks it constantly; he doesn't even like red meat, he's probably vegan/vegetarian ignore that he chows down on burgers and chicken on screen; he hates Dean's stupid bad music ignore that he sings along and enjoys it; he's practically ace, honestly, he doesn't even grossly pursue women, I bet he's really queer ignore the rapacious fucking of various on-screen women and the literal boner dream he has about eating out Bela.

He never even did anything wrong! He got led into all the bad choices he was forced to make! If Dean and his evil, awful, horrible dad weren't so shitty, he'd be okay and he'd be at college and he'd be living his best vegan lesbian life while listening to your favorite bands ignore that he's the protagonist of a fantasy-horror television show and has repeatedly stated on screen that he knew he was making bad choices, and that the reasons were deeply complicated but he understands that they were his own choices, and that even when given choices later on he continues to hunt, and stay with his brother, because he might genuinely like both of those things.

See, if the bae that you project on is always the victim and blameless, then he (you) get to be holy, too. He (you) didn't do anything wrong. He's a poor acted-upon lamb who didn't have any choice in the matter, and by the way he will always be fucked and not be the one fucking because he has to not show any masculine icky desire, because that would make him unclean and wrong and evil like his nasty big brother/dad Dean, and that just doesn't work with how I project myself onto him. Oh whoops, that came out of parentheses.

--So the thing is that alllll that shit has to exist in the context of Dean (and John, but Dean is the representative on earth) being Awful and Shitty and Abusive and Bad because then it makes Sam more Sainted and Holy and Perfect. Even the flaws become mary-sue-ified. Sure he did that bad thing but only because Dean made him. And then, actually, because Dean's quite handsome after all, if Sam (you) get abusively fucked by him, that's fun to imagine, too -- it's ravishment porn, with two safe layers in between. You get all the fun of the orgasm without any of the icky culpability of actually wanting it, or -- god forbid! -- being a positive actor in the pursuit of it. Hopefully Sam was tied up and crying during the act so he can really, really be blameless.

Atticwifed!Sam does not exist in the show Supernatural that was on the WB/CW. Like at any point. But he exists in many jerkoff fantasies, for better or worse, and I guess after enough gooning it's too hard to see the reality past the fantasy. Which is too bad. I'm sure they disapprove of Busty Asian Beauties for being poor representation, and then they keep putting out... this.