#how to differentiate complex powers

[negativerekt]

Derivative of y = x^(x^(2x)) Explained Step-by-Step

Derivative of y = x^(x^(2x)) Explained Step-by-Step Derivative of \( y = x^{x^{2x}} \) Explained Step-by-Step This post will walk you through how to differentiate the complex exponential function: Given Function: \( y = x^{x^{2x}} \) Step 1: Apply Natural Logarithm Take natural log on both sides to simplify: \( \ln y = \ln\left(x^{x^{2x}}\right) = x^{2x} \cdot \ln x \) Step 2: Differentiate…

[indecisivekatz]

DAY 2 OF KPOP DEMON HUNTER ANALYSIS!: Headcanon or Actual Theory? Here's Why Abs Saja Might Have a Complex Against Jinu + Cracked Headcanons for the Saja Boys

I'm really doing this am I? Heads up, this is going to be a bit more sillier than my last analysis- XD So please expect more Mean Girls references

Warnings for potential spoilers!! (But I'm like 90% sure this is not going to be happen, for all we know Abs Saja might only have abs on his mind). Also warning for me respectfully roasting the Saja Boys. is it really respectful if I'm still roasting these demon bois?

Okay, we should probably start with quickly introducing who Abs Saja is- Since these guys are a bit harder to differentiate these plastics from one another.

This is Abs Saja, he's got dark pink hair (not to be confused with Romance Saja who has light pink hair) and giant abs.

That's why his abs are so big, ThEy'RE fULL oF sEcReTs

Okay- you see this man, right? Right. Okay intros over- XD

Here's my theory/headcanon. I think this man HATES Jinu (aka the leader of the Saja Boys) and is very envious of his position as the lead boy of the Saja Boys. But it's not just that, I have reasons to believe he also admires Jinu. It's complicated--

Now- bear with me for this slight tangent, in the 2004 film, Mean Girls, what did Cady Heron do when she "hated" Regina George? But also still admired her power?? She became a plastic....... and also like- sabotaged her and indirectly got her hit by a bus and she stood by Regina's side.

What I'm suggesting is, what is Abs Saja (I swear to god, we need these guys' names, I can't take myself seriously as I type this XD) is similar to Cady, in that, he always follows Jinu around... shadowing him.

Notice how whenever we see Abs Saja, he's always next to Jinu!

See a few examples here:

Now this could just be chalked up to it being the Saja Boys' marketable lineup positioning (notice how Aqua Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja is also always next to Jinu)... but!

As even outside of their marketing when they're just casually plotting to destroy the HUNTR/X like any normal demonic boy band would do, there we see him, standing next to Jinu. And this time, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja isn't!

And it's not just that

There we see him, Abs Saja. Standing next to Jinu!

It's a lot harder to see here since the lighting makes it difficult to see, but through a process of elimination, Romance Saja is on the far left, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja (god why did I decide to call him this for a dumb bit- my fingers are getting tired- XD) is to his right, then in the middle is Mysterious Saja. Which only leaves... yep, you guessed it Jinu and Abs Saja!

"Wowee, we're gonna be walking past our rivals! Hey Jinu, do you mind if I trail just behind you? Since I'm like super fit, I can look very intimidating behind you--"

I like to think that part of why Abs Saja is always trailing Jinu, is because he's genuinely drawn to Jinu's charisma and does believe in him... and regardless if my theory about him hating Jinu is true, it's obvious that he definitely will follow whatever Jinu tells him to do....

"Go do my laundry Abs Saja!"

Okay, so what if Abs Saja is always near Jinu? Maybe he's the second in command and so he HAS to always be there next to him...

But you know what's kinda interesting that I noticed?

Okay, so we haven't seen the actual start to this song-- but, I find it, forgive me for repeating my words, interesting that we see Abs Saja in the middle...

Almost as if he's clawing at the chance to at least get some attention. Like this is an opportunity to be perceived as important for once. I know the other boys shift into the middle in future songs (Mysterious Saja seems to do this in the Awards Show Song), but it could be a deliberate decision to have this man be in the centre in what most likely is the boys' debut song.

EDIT: oh my gosh- I can’t believe I forgot to mention this but in their Soda Pop outfits, notice how the other guys are wearing longer sleeves, whilst Abs Saja and Jinu show off their arms? This very much could just be a coincidence, but I headcanoned that as them being the most open and proud about their demon heritage.

Another note, I know I've shown this image off three times already but...

Isn't it interesting how Abs Saja is leaning ONLY on Jinu. Sure, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja is also leaning on Jinu, but he also is wrapping his arms around Romance Saja. And we don't see Abs Saja doing that for Mysterious Saja...... pfft, maybe the two secretly hate each other, and Jinu noticed Abs Saja excluding Mysterious Saja out, so he forced the two to get their sh** together and that's why the next time we presumably see them in a marketing image, he's shown to be leaning against him.

This doesn't really necessarily prove nor outright debunk the whole Abs Saja hating Jinu theory- but I definitely think it supports some parts of it.

Now like I said, a lot of what I've said could actually be chalked up to Abs Saja either being the second-in-command to Jinu or him genuinely admiring the man so much he follows him around like a puppy.

But since this story is embedded with themes of being in a KPop band, it could be fun to see representation of feeling inadequate compared to the lead face. Sure, Abs Saja wants to defeat the HUNTR/X! But perhaps there's just a small part of him that hates how much love and attention Jinu's getting from everyone. Maybe even in the demon world, Jinu's getting all the credit for this brilliant idea. But what about him? He put in just as much effort in studying BTS and learning how to "Hey batter, batter swing"- WAIT sorry, lemme go back to being serious.

He put in just as much effort to be the best fake boy band member he could possibly be! So it's not fair that Jinu's going to be the mastermind behind this entire plan!

Lol, I even made up the silly headcanon that reason Abs Saja got his abs is just so he could have something over Jinu ahahaha XD

Anywayy- I think that's about it for Abs Saja.

NOW LET'S TALK CRACK HEADCANONS

I have a dumb headcanon that Mysterious Saja has only like one eye, so that's why he covers up his upper face with both his bangs. And... well, now he literally can't see. A few people in the KPop Demon Hunters Discord server even pointed out how in this photo, he's not even looking at the camera-- Probably because the man can't see where the camera is

I have no evidence for this at all, but I like the idea that despite the guys seemingly getting along super well, it's total cat-iness behind closed doors (even in the Demon World).

I specifically love headcanoning that Abs Saja has major beef with Aqua-haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja and Romance Saja. Just utter hatred for each other. Maybe Romance Saja ate Abs Saja's last tub of ice cream and Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja ate from Abs Saja's cooking jar before proceeding to use all of Romance Saja's makeup. So all three of them just hate each other-

Now... we all know Jinu can play an instrument (still a bit unsure which instrument that is since I can't count the strings on the instrument he's seen with in the trailer, for me to be 100% sure), indicating that he was already musically gifted...

And assuming the other Saja Boys are just as musically gifted.... what is these guys are Demon Musical Theatre School drop outs-- 😂

"Oh yeah, our plan is to turn into a rival music band...!"

"So like this doesn't have anything to do with you guys failing the audition to Demon Theatre Camp--"

A final cracked headcanon that I have is... right now, we're unsure if the Saja Boys are related or not. And I genuinely love the implications of either one.

Either Jinu's known the other Saja Boys for a long time (maybe they're brothers, maybe they're all best friends, maybe they're exes (I swear to god, if they're brothers, this joke is gonna age so poorly)), so he really walked up to the group and said, "Hey, let's start a band--"

Or- if he didn't know them... then that implies Jinu must've held auditions or something- XD

"Calling All Attractive Demons! Do You Think You Can Sing??" p.s must be good with tigers.

Last cracked theory:

Bobby’s (The HUNTR/X’s manager…? I think) the twist villain-

Just kidding- lol xD…. Or am I?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chaotic theories and headcanons I've wrought upon Tumblr....

I'm going to sign off now, leaving you with... whatever the heck these theories are 🤣

[jojikawa]

Beauty and the Beast

Mark of the Beast

Dividers by @uzmacchiato | Post

Song theme: Zettai Zetsumei • Co shu Nie

⚠️: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT ♥ This chapter contains graphic sexual content, dubious consent, violence, blood, body horror, possessive/obsessive behavior, Omegaverse dynamics, threats, manipulation, and psychological distress. Reader discretion is strongly advised. I write for free, but if you wanna further support me > Ko-Fi 🎀

Is this what it was like…to be married?

The question pops into your mind as you stand in the raw meat section of your local grocery store. You do your best to try to differentiate what’s good or not by how you’ve seen your family shop in the past.. To be honest, they all looked the same. Perhaps, you should ask an expert. A lady like you shouldn’t have to dirty her hands by picking out cold, gross meat so that your monstrous lover could eat something without killing the innocents around you. Well, almost innocent. The situation from before was still lingering in your mind..

Franz claimed that there was already a man hiding in your apartment when he got there, and so he killed him. You couldn’t recognize his remains to be anyone you know or even saw in your day-to-day life, nor did they live in the apartment complex. Was Franz lying just to make you fearful so that you could need him? You shake your head at the thought as you attempt to forget about it.

You didn’t think the type of meat really matters, so you eyeball it before placing it into your cart and moving on. The idea made you frown, just a little. Your chest hollows as you realize what exactly you’re doing. You can be killed for this. 

Protecting a doppelgänger.

You stop in a few more isles to get a few essentials such as things you enjoy to cook and eat before finishing your grocery run by going into the cleaning supplies aisle. You put every cleanser solution in your cart, not really understanding what would work. Ignoring the stares and whispers of shoppers who recognize you are the woman who was assaulted by a doppelgänger, you’re check out and you walk home.

The walk back is mostly silent, save for the passing cars and distant police sirens. But, you can’t shake the feeling of being watched. You check over your shoulder often. No hazmat suits. No pale yellow vans. Just you. Maybe a passing mail carrier. Or someone else deciding to have a walk.

When you arrive home, your house is dark. You distinctly remember opening the curtains to let the light in, but now they’re closed. 

“Franz?” You call out.

Nothing.

Perhaps he's still sleeping? But, that doesn’t explain why he’d get up to close the curtains of rooms he won’t be in. The metallic smell of blood is still strong in the air. So, you make your way to the kitchen where… it… was. Your kitchen went from a place of comfort, to a place where you were afraid to set foot. Your refrigerator is still stained with crimson, but you pay it no mind as you set your groceries on the kitchen counter.

You can’t ignore it forever. 

You sigh, grabbing the various cleaning solutions and setting them out before you. You have no idea how to clean blood. Asking around would only make you look like a psycho. But, you begin by grabbing the rag from under your sink and some dish soap. You sheepish make your way to the target, your heels clicking against the tile floors, echoing in the silence. You try to cope. You tell yourself that you’re just a woman, cleaning her kitchen after her husband made a mess. Not someone who just saw a body, ravaged beyond recognition, in a place where her milk once lived. One swipe through the congealed blood on the floor and it smears to a sickly pink. Your stomach churns, but you power through and are able to get most of it up. Your gaze shifts to the fridge. Upon taking a deep breath, you open it.

You expect to see the body.

But you see nothing.

Well, not nothing, nothing, but the body is gone. 

“Where’ve you been?”

A deep, warm voice soaked in something rotten purred in your ear. His tone is perfect, too perfect. Like it was manufactured. His breath hits your ear with warmth that kisses the skin. It’s Franz. Dressed in his fake milkman uniform that you can’t tell if he stole or it a part of his shapeshifting power. His eyes are dark, shaded by the low light that fills your apartment. Their coldness makes you shudder.

“The… grocery store.” You whisper. “I can’t risk you going out and killing someone. So, I went to get you some raw meat.”

He leans away and your personal space is yours once more.

“Cute.” He says.

You glance at him, and then the fridge. “What did you do with… the body…?”

“I got rid of it.” His tone makes it seem like it’s nothing.

“O-Okay, but… where? And who was that?”

His eyes narrow. “It’s just some sack of meat,” his eyes search your face for… something. “Does it matter who it was? I protected you.”

His expression is unreadable and so is yours. 

 But, there’s a feeling you get that you can see, behind his eyes. It’s terrifying.

“Are you sure?”

“You think I’d lie to you?” His voice is quiet. Flat.

No? Maybe?

“I-I don’t know what you’d do,” You begin. “You lied when we first met… or whenever we met. You pretended to be Francis. I don’t know who or what you are.”

His silhouette is massive and dwarves you.

“I became him because I’d see how you’d look at him,” His eyes meet yours, a wolfish grin showing off his canines. “And it worked."

“You forced your way in. You looked off from the beginning.” You stand against him, completely forgetting your current task.

“I couldn’t resist. Not anymore. The way you looked at me when you thought I was him… it was everything.”

You blink. That reminds you of something else you meant to ask about.

“Franz, you said that we interacted before? Who were you?”

“You wouldn’t remember.”

You place the bloodstained soap rag on your counter. “And before that?”

His expression drops. “Don’t ask me that.”

“Why? I want to know,” you say softly. “Like, what you are. Not what you look like.”

“I’m yours.”

“Franz…”

Before you can continue, he moves. Quick, inhuman, and you barely blink before you feel his large arms around your waist. Part of you wants to be afraid, but you can’t.

But that doesn’t matter. Now, you have confirmation that the real Francis is into you. If this is going to work, you can’t be with Franz. Memories of Franz’s violence come to mind. What were you doing? This thing can kill you at any moment.

“Franz! St-Stop!” You cry.

You try to wiggle free, but muscles are like steel around your waist, nor did he seem deterred by your flailing. “I said stop!”

Your hand comes down like a whip. Fast, sharp, and most definitely earned. His cheek caught the full fury of your helpless frustration, fear, and days of being treated like a walking biohazard. Smack! 

The sound is awful. Such a quick action causes everything to slow down. Silence fills the air and you slowly feel your feet touch the ground. Franz didn’t react. He didn’t flinch. Your eyes meet and he’s just standing there—watching you. He never staggered, only straightened. He doesn’t look angry, but his eyes flicker with something unfamiliar to you. Your pulse hammers in your ears, behind your ribs, between your legs. Your hands tremble at your sides. Suddenly, you regret what you just did. 

This isn’t a man. This is a creature.

A creature that wears the skin of humans to get into safe spaces. A creature that eats the flesh of others to survive.

“That’s… not nice.”

You remain silent, more focused on his reddening skin and lack of reaction to you hitting him despite putting all of your might into it. His eyes scan your face as his arms loosen from around you.

“You know,” he begins, arm raising, “this could be a lot easier if you’d let me break you… just a little. Like most women do.”

His palm rests at the base of your neck, fingertips pressing into your throat. Not hard. Just there. Threatening you. 

“You’re not strong,” he says, not like an insult, but like he’s trying to convince himself. “I know you’re just scared.”

His grip tightens. “But you keep testing me. Like you want to see what I’ll do.” His head tilts in a way that isn’t out of curiosity. It’s just another reminder that it is just wearing a mask to appease you. You’re already clawing at his wrist when he decides what to do with you.

“You think I’m angry because you hit me? No.” His voice drops. “I’ve eaten far worse. I’m angry because you just can’t accept that you’re mine.”

He brings you closer to him and he leans down so that your faces are centimeters apart. “You think that I don’t know what you do when you leave here? I bet you think I just sit here and wait for you to get back.”

He carries you until your back hits the wall.

His free hand hovers over your breast. You keep your mouth shut and your eyes too. Your top is torn, but only enough so that your collarbone is exposed. His breath hits the crook of your neck and you cringe at the warm, wet muscle of his serpent-like tongue brush over your skin. The trail of saliva chills your skin and goosebumps rise. You feel his breath on your skin and the sharp bones of his teeth tickle. You don’t need to see them to know they aren’t a human’s teeth.

“Wait,” you choke out, “...d-don’t kill me.” 

“Kill you?” He chuckled darkly, “I’d never.”

Your eyes shoot open as an unfamiliar white hot pain seers through the soft flesh of your neck and it sends you into a panic. Like an animal, he breathes hard as your sweet blood hits his tongue. His hand finds the curve of your hip and now you are completely trapped, whether you like it or not. The pain is great and you fight him, clawing at his wrist, at his back, tearing open his shirt.

But it’s no good. He doesn’t care. If anything, he likes it. You stifle screams while he exudes closed mouth moans until he feels like he’s done. It feels like he’s sucking the life out of you. The strength to fight disappears and you resort to simply bracing for the pain. Then, it begins to ease… just a little. He removes his mouth, licking and kissing the wound before letting you go.

Tears spill from your eyes. The bite stings and hurts more than anything you’ve ever felt before. You raise your hand to your shoulder, debating if you should touch it or not. You want to, but it’s clearly a bad idea. 

“Why are you crying? Does it hurt that bad?” 

You don’t answer. You can’t form words anyway. Slowly, you slump down to the floor. You feel dizzy. Even with his “aftercare”, blood still leaks from your wound, staining what’s left of your shirt and it runs down your arm until it reaches the floor. 

Your vision is blurry, maybe from tires of exhaustion, but you see the blood on his lips, dripping down his chin like pomegranate juice. 

Knock, knock, knock.

Franz perks up and in a second, he’s a perfect version of you. Cute, small, and it’s as if nothing happened. 

“Shit,” he says in a voice mimicking your own, “You’re very popular, it seems.”

From where you are, you can’t see who it is at the door, but you can hear them. The familiar muffled voice that you’ve heard countless times already. It’s the D.D.D. 

“Oh, hello. What brings you here?”

Franz nails your voice perfectly.

“We would’ve called you, Ms. (y/n), but I think you’d want to receive this news in person.”

“Oh, thank you. I’ll be looking this over right away.”

News? You climb to your feet, anxiety waging war inside of you. You thought your encounters with them were over. Or at least, you didn’t think you would see them again so soon.

“Give us a call afterwards.”

“I will. Have a great day.”

The door closes. Franz enters, this time as himself.

“For you.” Is all he says, setting a folder onto the kitchen counter, next to the bloody rag from before.

“Why did you do that?” You ask, “Why’d you bite me?”

“So that other guy you fucked can see it before I kill him,” he says, “It’ll stop hurting soon. Stop crying.”

“You’re not k-killing Francis!”

Franz rolls his eyes, annoyance washing over his handsome features… then it’s replaced by amusement. His eyes flicker between your expression and your bloody wound, the substance still sweet on his tongue. Now, he’s claimed you in more ways than one and the effect will snowball until he’s consumed every part of your being.

And for what? Well, of course, you had no clue. To you, he’s just some monster pretending to be a large, pretty man, but to him, you were—are everything. 

You stumble over to the countertop where the folder lies. The words “D.D.D.: CONFIDENTIAL” is written on it, very clear and legible.

The papers inside had a lot of legal jargon that you can’t understand. You’d have to ask someone to look it over. But there is a part you do understand. Probably written this way on purpose as your eyes are drawn to it. 

“CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN HIRED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF DOPPELGÄNGER DETECTION…”

Your eyebrows furrow. This is new? But you quit…

“Following internal review, your credentials have been re-evaluated for immediate reinstatement into provisional service under the Department of Doppelgänger Detection. Based on your prior exposure and response profile, you have been designated physiologically and psychologically compatible with specialized containment-adjacent work.

Please note:

Your familiarity with Class-B Entities has been recorded as a key asset.

An orientation packet and updated field manual will be dispatched to your residence within 72 hours.

Non-compliance may result in administrative escalation under Protocol V-9.

We appreciate your continued contribution to national stability.

Warm regards,

R. Welles

Human Resources

D.D.D. - District 8 Division”

It takes a minute, but you get through the text.

“What does it say?’ Franz asks despite clearly seeing the paper in front of you.

“You… can’t read?” You question back, finally applying pressure to your wound with your hand. His eyebrows knit together softly, then he avoids your gaze.

“No.” He says.

“The D.D.D. gave me my job back. B-But, I never asked for it back. And Henry is still operating checks in the lobby. Did he get fired?” 

Franz smirks. “Probably. I’ve never seen someone fail at something so spectacularly. I barely even pass as you and he lets me in every time.”

Your eyebrows raise. “As… me?”

“It made for good practice–”

“Don’t do that! Stop turning into me and interacting with other people!”

That shuts him up, but a smug smirk remains on his face. This is becoming too much. The mess in the kitchen is abandoned while you perform first aid on yourself in the bathroom. The bite… it looks so… alien. The skin around it has blackened, not with bruising. It’s almost vein-like, faint tendrils spreading everywhere like in water. The teeth marks look precist. Not jagged like an animal’s, but not like a human’s either.

“It’s a promise.” he says behind you. You see his reflection in the mirror. He’s taller than any door frame, sending an eerie chill down your spine. 

“A promise? For what?”

“A promise that I’ll have you.”

You turn to him. “But why…? How does a monster become… this?” You gesture towards him.

“One day, you will understand.” 

“Why don’t you just tell me?!” You snap, the wound aching makes you irritable, “Why did you do this to me?!” All of a sudden, your fear of him dissolves. “...I should… call the D.D.D.”

“Why?” he asks, voice even and deceptively calm. It makes you flinch. 

“You bit me,” You say, raising your voice. “You attacked me… you killed the people who tried to save me. You won’t leave–”

“I marked you,” he corrects. “You fed me. You cried, but you didn’t scream. You fought me, but you didn’t run. Why didn’t you?”

“B-Because I was scared, Franz! I’m scared of you!”

His head tilts once again. Slowly. Unnatural.

“You think fear makes you innocent?” he murmurs. “You think they’ll care?”

You falter. Anger dissipating… anxiety taking its place.

“They’ll see what I see. That you kept me. That you let me touch you. That you let me put my scent on you.”

You shake your head. “I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted a good husband…”

“No, you didn’t,” he sighs. “You just didn’t stop it.”

He ducks to enter the bathroom and you’re suddenly reminded just how small everything is compared to him. Including yourself.

“Call them, then. Tell them you got scared. Tell them that I bit you. See how fast they come.”

He holds his hand out to you. “And I’ll pretend to be heartbroken when they take you away, just to cut you into pieces and put your parts in glass jars.”

You… don’t call the D.D.D.

Not yet. Not until you understand this. Understand Franz.

You don’t forgive him, nor does he make you feel safe. It’s for Francis too. You don’t know what Franz will do to him if you reject him this way. Can you even protect him like this?

You wrap your arms around yours, pressing the gauze to your neck. The pain remains, now dulled. Throbbing. Radiating heat. 

“I hate you.”

Your words don’t make him flinch. He just kneels at your feet, like a dog begging for its owner's attention.

“I know,” he mutters. “But you smell so much like me.”

He takes your hand and places it on his chest. “You’re stressed. Let me help you relax.”

The air between the two of you hums with something rotten and raw, like the ozone before a storm. His eyes fixate on the curve of your throat as he runs your hand down his chest, down to his trousers where you feel him. He’s rock solid. 

You pull your hand away, but he catches it. You expect him to taunt you. To smirk. To say something that makes you want to punch him in the face.

But he doesn’t. 

He just looks at you like he’s waiting.

Waiting to be punished.

Yearning for your touch.

Waiting for something you don’t want to say.

“Franz, don’t,” You whisper.

His eyes meet yours. There’s no sign of mischief in them. No mockery. Just a strange, unnatural hunger that makes you feel like a rabbit in the eyes of a wolf.

“Then make me stop,” he says.

And…

You don’t.

You don’t actually know what you want right now.

Franz. Francis.

His hand finds your ankle, gentle and warm, trailing upward in a delicate fashion. He doesn’t rush. Not this time. And that’s what makes it terrifying. He knows you’ll break. He knows you’re already his, marked or not.

His palm finds the curve of your upper thigh. The breath catches in your lungs.

“I’ve studied you for so long. You think I can’t tell what you’re feeling by now? I know you better than you know yourself.”

You swallow hard. Your body betrays you. Heat blooms beneath the parts of your skin that he touches. Shame, fear, lust, and something darker wrap together like thorny vines around your heart.

“It doesn’t have to be… love.” His lips ghost your jaw, opposite side of your wound. “It just has to be need.”

You feel his lips brush the skin of your jawline, then the shell of your ear, the side of your neck, and your lips. Hands greedy, but precise. You shudder when stands to press your body against his, your hand and the gauze falling as you hold onto him for support. You’re trapped. Again.

He doesn’t ask for permission.

He never does.

He just looms over you, drinking you in with every kiss he steals. You can move. Not because he’s holding you, but because you wouldn’t know where to run when he’d come after you.

He pulls away. “Do you know what this mark means? It means that you’re mine.”

His thumb ghosts over the mark. “I can’t let you carry the scent of another. I must fill you until every fiber of your being reeks of me. Only me.” His hand slides beneath your ruined top, large hands cupping your breast, kneading it until your nipples harden. You hate how your body reacts, how easily it melts at his touch.

“Good girl,” he grins, “You don’t have to say it. I’ll make your body speak for you.” 

Franz removes you from the bathroom, taking you to a much better place. Your bed.

An odd feel arises inside of your body. Your skin grows hot and it becomes unbearable. It sprouted from your wound and now it’s all over. Only his hands tooth the fiery feeling.

The kissing resumes. He sticks his slithery tongue in your mouth as he rips apart what’s left of your shirt, exposing your breasts completely.

“I don’t care if you hate me,” he mumbles in between breaths, “As long as you remember who you belong to.”

Your legs bracket his and you can feel his dick brushing up against your inner thigh. The heat between your legs grows and you can’t remember why you were upset at him.

You hate how natural this feels. How your body stops resisting before your mind does. 

“You’re not him. You aren’t supposed to touch me like this.” But each time, you kiss him back. You lean back onto the bed when he presses his body into yours. You make room for him as he inhales your scent like a drug he can’t live without, dragging his nose along your skin, and me mortising every chemical shift in your body.

He spreads you open with reverence, barely using his strength to force your legs open. One hand on your thigh while the other rubs generously between your folds, testing your slickness with feather-like touches.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already such a messy.” He laughs to himself. “You might try to resist after being with that scum, but you came back to me, after all.”

You turn your face away, completely humiliated… but he won’t have that. He throws your leg over his shoulder and grabs the size of your face with one hand. He makes you look at him, squeezing your cheeks with his fingers so that your lips pucker. Then he kisses you again, his tongue violating yours for a few moments before he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your mouths.

“You’ll take me,” his voice is now raspy, “Even if it splits you in half. A thick finger sinks in. And then before you’re ready, another enters. And another. “Even if you scream. I was made for you. Made to fill you just like how you were made to be filled by me.” 

He watches you unravel, finger fucking you like his life depends on it. It probably does, but we won’t talk about that. Yet.

Your juices leak all over his hands and your bedding, they practically pour out of you, and he scrambles to lap it up, quickly getting on his knees to stick his alien tongue inside. The muscle explores every crevice of your walls like it has a mind of its own.

Your mind races.

‘God… why do I feel like this?’

‘This is wrong. This is so, so wrong!”

“After I’m done with you, I’ll get rid of that lesser copy and that moron at the desk… ogling at you like you don’t belong to me.” He breathes lowly, positioning himself to fit his impossible size in you.

“Franz, stop. You’re not going to do anything to Francis or Henry. I’m giving you what you want, isn’t that enough?” You squirm under him, but he keeps you in place with a hand around your throat.

“Enough is knowing no one else will have you. Go ahead. Call me Francis.” Little by little, his voice sounds more and more like Francis Mosses.

“You’re not him. You’re just a creature, Franz–Ah!” You stifle a yelp by biting your lip and squeezing your eyes shut to bear the pain of him pushing his cock into you, filling you beyond capacity and leaving a print visible on your belly. He grins so wide that it’s terrifying.

“You say that while wrapped around me like we belong together. I don’t even need to try and I just fit!” He slams into you with one large thrust that forces a moan out of you. “All it takes is for you to accept it”

You try to retaliate, but he continues to silence you with slow, hard, strokes that echo through the empty rooms. “I see how he looks at you. I study every miserable detail about him. Hate. Hate. Hate.”

“F-Franz…” You throw your head back. “Not… so… hard…”

“He doesn’t want you. Not like I do. I want you. All of you. The fighting! The fire! The fear!”

You brace against him, focusing on the pleasure rather than his taunting and sick ramblings. His tip feels like it’s bruising your gspot.

“Y-You’d like that… wouldn’t you? Being feared? Hated?” You reply.

“Anything if it’s from you.” He then kisses you. It's messy. Heated. Not for affection. It's to shut you up.

When he breaks away, you slap him, but still, it doesn’t do a thing. He catches your wrist. “Do it again.” he commands. “Keep fighting. Keep clawing and biting. It makes breaking you so much more satisfying!”

He picks up his pace, one hand still around your throat while the other returns to your hip, his thumb rubbing reassurance circles as he notices the tears of pleasure spilling from your eyes.

“I don’t care if you hate me when I make you mine. It will pass. I know it will.” His eyes follow the movements of your bouncing breasts. For once, he releases your neck and lowers himself to give your nipples generous amounts of pleasure, sucking on either one like he’s trying to taste milk. His hands wander, but his gaze never leaves yours. Watching. Drinking in your moans of pleasure like it’s holy.

And that’s it. Whatever it is that's holding you back. Whatever walls you had… they crack and shatter.

“I cant–It’s too much, Franz!”

His cock is sliding in and out with no resistance. Your body starts to tense up and you feel the heat over your body peak. You release and your core tightens to the max. Unable to hold back, you scream and hold onto Franz who holds you back. Your legs wrap around his waist, bringing him closer. His head moves to the crook of your neck where it stays. His already torn shirt was now in half as you clawed at his back, drawing blood that he doesn't seem to care about. He kisses your jaw, the flesh of your neck and the corner of the wound, careful not to irritate it.

His pace remains consistent for a few moments, then he thrusts inward and stays there. He groans, pressing you into his body. A warm, familiar liquid fills you. It overflows your womb, getting all over your lips and dripping onto your sheets.

The apartment is silent.

No screaming, moaning, or fighting. Just the quiet huffing that leaves your mouth as Franz pulls out. Your hole feels oddly lonely when he does that. You sit up, immediately feeling a soreness in your abdomen. No matter how much Franz tries to convince you that you two are made for each other, the pain says otherwise.

You stand, but as soon as you do, a tingling sensation takes over your legs and you fall to the ground, earning a chuckle from Franz.

“Stop running away.” He remarks, ridding himself of his shirt that you destroyed.

“I’m not running. I need to wash myself.”

The tingling sensation doesn’t subside, rendering your legs useless for the time being. Franz catches on, making himself useful by lifting you from the ground. He always holds you as if it’s nothing. Maybe because you are. He is some… creature, after all.

“You don’t have to wash me off so soon. You smell so much like me.” He’s docile and more than usual. His touches are gentle and he even nuzzles into you, smelling the exposed parts of your skin with an earnest smile. The scent of him clings to your skin like an alcoholic  perfume. Sharp. Sweet. Strong.

And instead of taking you to the bathroom, he takes you to a nearby arm chair that you’d only really sit in to read your romance novels. He places you in his lap and holds your naked body against his bare chest. You try not to focus on the pain, you steady your breathing, hardly aware of the fact that he’s rocking you back and forth… like you’re something fragile he didn’t mean to break. But he meant every moment of it and wouldn’t take it back.

His lips brush your temple. “They’ll know not to touch you.”

Your stomach tightens at the implications. Who? Francis? The D.D.D.?

For a moment, you feel as though you are the rabbit that is finally caught by the wolf.

It doesn’t matter that you’re still naked or full of his seed. Modesty doesn’t suit you anyway. Not after what’s been going on between you two. Not when you’re his.

And like that, you remain in his arms that are coiled around you like a dragon atop stolen treasure.

“Sleep,” he says. “You’ll be sore. You need rest.”

But, you don’t sleep.

Not for a while.

But you stay there. Your will to run isn’t there. Not now.

And you somehow feel safer in his arms than you would outside.

@crybabies-hearts @z3r0art @chilifrylizard2 @blooket-scares-me

[divorceblogger]

Hi,I feel like I'm being gaslighted into thinking that AR wrote Marius & Armand"s relationship in a positive light? That wasn't my impression at all. Am I mistaken? I ask you this because you seem to have good Armand takes.

Hm. I do consider the vampire chronicles a study in power, abuse and sexual violence, personally. the books often take advantage of elaborate metaphors and heightened violence to do this and the different perspectives sometimes distort the narrative to either reveal or obfuscate abuse so they’re not always straightforward which can sometimes complicate interpretations. the victims have incredibly complex and realistic reactions to the abuse they face.

so where I approach this from is - ‘they said a child had died in the attic’ -> opening line of all time to me. particularly in terms of how TVA is concerned with exploring csa + the narrative structure of armand’s history in the book being bracketed by chapters which involve him trusting his children into marius’s care only for marius to betray it and every single principle he stands for to turn them (in TVL he advises lestat to allow people to live full human lives before turning them while confessing that he failed armand by not giving him the same grace) in order to entrap armand by establishing a bond with benji & sybelle that can never be severed. this is specifically because armand rejects the invitation to resume a domestic relationship with him in the first chapter of TVA. this generally sets the tone for how their relationship plays out over the course of the book. ultimately it’s also narratively important that armand is unable to fully come to terms with the abuse marius inflicts on him and is able to express how betrayed and angry he feels only when the bodies at stake belong to people he cares for very deeply - he’s able to better articulate his feelings through secondary subjects who’re similarly abused, i.e. namely sybelle and benji (and lestat! he feels very deeply about gabrielle’s neglect of him).

that said I cannot emphasise enough that I feel it’s impossible to interact with renessaince venice without the historical context for how sexual relations were organised at the time- and homosexuality was practiced almost exclusively through pederasty. anne is extremely conscious of this - she rarely shies away from examining how power differentials play a role in generating conditions where abuse is fostered. it would be antithetical to the premise of the vampire chronicles to do so. I think people may often find it distasteful that she eroticises dynamics which feature abuse but it works for me because I find it to be brutally honest and prefer to see depictions of abuse that encompass their complexity - so although this post is about lolita I do always come back to it when I try to express why TVA being an erotic text doesn’t particularly bother me (and speaking of lolita. I do also like to make a point about the very intentional ways in which immortal humbert humbert marius chooses to identify armand - armand/dolores being ignored in favour of amadeo/lolita which is a sexual identity that marius specifically bestows).

I talk a bit more about TVA & armand’s complicated feelings about the abuse he experiences here although it was typed out very hastily and I think this conversation between marius and armand from an initial draft for TVA where armand makes very confronting statements is incredibly revealing about anne’s thought process while she was writing their relationship.

[afsosville]

I wonder how things would change if Shen Jiu had the ability to project his memories and emotions like The Giver, or Blue Diamond from Steven Universe by some artifact fuckery or if he was born with the power. Maybe a better way to describe it is Wei Wuxian's empathy.

If it's a one-time artifact mishap during a mission or smt, he's got everyone kneeling over, unable to move an inch because of how much physical pain they're in. And don't forget all the emotional pain they're hopelessly dealing with, too (the memories don't have to be included, just the emotional wreckage and physical pain is enough).

All the while, they expect their Shen Shixiong to roll over and scream in agony, coz obviously smn as spoiled as him who's never had any bit of hardship in his life would feel it the worst. Then, they're seeing him going on with the mission and fighting like he's not affected at all, and then it hits them-

Oh.

They're his emotions.

If it's an inate ability, then I imagine he's using it to make his life easier, even if it's just a bit.

Like just give QJL the pain of his beatings or whatnot. Every whip gets inflicted on to QJL until the whippings stop completely. This will probably make QJL make SJ suffer even more, but that also stops when he realizes SJ has the power to make QJL go thru the same shit and will do it with absolute glee. Maybe SJ manages to free himself earlier bc of this. But there's a possibility he'll still stay to wait for YQ. If he does, then he's constantly engaging in psychological warfare with QJL and winning. That would be interesting to write abt ejrgkdkf.

This ability will ofc makes things easier if QHT stays insistent that her family treated him well.

Or like when he's being confronted for the the first time for his brothel visits, he's making LQG feel what it's like to not feel safe in the place you're supposed to sleep. And he keeps doing this every night until LQG is almost never sleeping and the mountain anymore and understands.

During peak lord meetings, he's subtly giving everyone a bit of his paranoia/anxiety, so now he's got everyone agreeing with him, and are listening to him.

He's also torturing slavers and rich nobles with his memories as well bc of a sense of righteous retribution, or just for the fun of it.

This could make Shen Jiu development a Them vs. Me complex, he's already a pro at it as it is except he's differentiating himself from those rich nobles and the like and wants nothing to do with them. Ideally this will make him conscience of the way he's treating his disciples, bc he'd be manually giving his memories/trauma to his disciples, he's just doing it without the ability lol.

He hated being grouped with ppl who were like him in the book, so now I'm making him have that energy for nobles who push around their weight instead. And would despise ever acting that way.

For angst points>>

He's tries to soothe his disciples with the slightest scraps of the good memories he does have bc he has no idea what else to do, but doesn't work and he acidentally gives bad memories instead :/

[zkaus]

Why are so many obsessed with Armand?

I suspect that for many, it's because Armand is such an unusual and highly complex character. He's challenging.

A rare integration of sympathetic yet horrifying, violent yet passive, powerful yet pitiful, intoxicating yet repulsive. Resulting in one hell of a unique character!

Even more fascinating is that his motivations and choices, seem entirely hypocritical and self-defeating His behaviour reflecting his unstable sense of self, an identity both tumultuous and brittle. He admits to being entirely unable to perceive and define himself, outside the roles he was forced to perform. That he is painfully aware of his own instability and insufficiency of self, is absolutely fucking heartbreaking!

Armand's entire existence has been lived on unstable ground. He's only ever known abuse of power differentials and highly conditional forms of love. Everyone that commodified or objectified him, carved away pieces of his sense of self until there was nothing left. They abused, shattered and re-molded him. Again and again. And those who didn't commodify his body, used him in other ways (eg. to enforce their extremist dogma).

“Who am I, Louis? Am I my history I have endured? Am I the job I do not want? I do not know anymore. No one has painted me in over 400 years.”

Armand was never given the chance to develop a true sense of self, and the resulting desperation he feels is bitterly plaintive, sorrowful and yet incredibly damaging to others. His perceived reality is one of impending cruelty, loss of autonomy, and inevitable abuse or abandonment. Where his identity is defined as either the dogmatic leader encumbered by rules he must enforce, or to be ruled over by another.

"If I’m not with him, I’m nothing.”

He's terrified of being alone, unmoored from another, because he doesn't know who he is without them. So Armand claws for affection and direction from those he perceives as a possible Master. Seemingly willingly relinquishing his leadership role... While still defensively scheming to retain power, and desperately clinging to the security of his own manipulations. While trying to shape an identity around the roles others (willingly and unwilling) create for him, but...

Who is Armand really?

Who is he apart from the roles others have assigned to him? It's a fascinating question.

From parents who sold him, to cruel sailors using his body for their pleasure, brothel owners further abusing him, to being purchased by a predator. A Master who gave him to others to abuse yet again, who cultivated undeserved adoration and dependency. A child's innocence, so destroyed, his entire identity shattered. Again and again. The slave child, the prostitute, the adoring apprentice, the cult leader, the Maîtré, the companion of Louis? Who is he as an individual?

He doesn't know. And that terrifies him.

I can't help but feel that if only someone, anyone had actually loved him (had taught him how love should be) he might have had a chance, might have become a better person.

Instead, he became a man scared and brutalized, now brutalizing others. Forced into enacting laws and beliefs which were not his own, forced into filth and worship of satan, in the service of an uncaring god. And when that was taken away, his cult shattered, his identity shattered. He fell back to the role of dogmatic leader.

Arun > Amadeo > Armand > Maître > ?

I've read the books, so I know that version of him very well. But the show version is even more complex in many ways, he has different layers to his story, and psychological nuances to unpack. And so many questions and possible directions for his character...

Who will he become now he has turned Daniel? What are his true reasons for first sacrificing, then saving Louis? What role did he play in the destruction of the Coven? How is Daniel so special to him that he would break his 500 year old vow? What does he want from Daniel now? Do they have a history together beyond San Francisco? How far will he go? Can he ever love anyone without maiming them? Physically and/or psychologically? What does love mean for him now that he has turned Daniel? Etc etc...

That's why he's so fascinating!!

[gatheringbones]

[“Through the money model of disability we can understand the warehousing, surveillance, treatment, management, and diagnosis of difference as an enormous sector of our economy, circulating trillions of dollars through global markets each year.

Yet few people have meaningful access to the support they need to facilitate their survival, and the few options that are readily available are often stigmatized and come at the expense of the best interests, freedom, rights, or needs of the recipient. The ever-growing industry of private care, nursing homes, assisted living centers, psychiatric hospitals, boarding and halfway houses, rehabilitation facilities, and long-term treatment centers reflects a complex web of profit extraction designed to prioritize economic interests and reclaim commodified bodies as avenues for profit. Rather than support disabled people directly in their homes and their communities, welfare systems have been designed as mechanisms for public money to pass into private companies seeking to apply economies of scale and generate revenue from mass market care. The question then becomes, why does the money model exist, and why are these systems designed this way?

Ruth Wilson Gilmore identifies similar logics within state carceral policies to those outlined in Russell’s money model of disability, demonstrating that states, limited by federal restrictions on deficit spending, have used complex bond schemes to generate cause for economic investment in the construction of new prisons and jails. These prisons and jails are overwhelmingly constructed in and around communities with high numbers of surplus reserve-army laborers and surplus land, both of which can then be reclaimed for profit. These preferences, as Wilson Gilmore shows, led to the rapid expansion of the prison system in California in the 1990s and corresponding expansions to the criminal legal code, helping fuel the rise in mass incarceration. Wilson Gilmore identifies these as the state’s process of “organized abandonment.” Organized abandonment describes how the state constructs itself through its capacity to sort and separate the surplus populations, marking some for reclamation and others for slow death.

The money flowing through these systems of “care” (in Russell’s case) and warehousing (for both Russell and Wilson Gilmore) has become a vital source of revenue for the capitalist economy, and for the subnational governments that serve as their host. The state’s power, responsibility, and purpose become defined by the ways it counts, sorts, organizes, and disorganizes both its surplus labor power and its surplus populations—creating jobs, whole industries, and diversified revenue streams from these non-workers who capital putatively no longer wants. As Wilson Gilmore puts it, “The state makes things, but is also a product of what’s made and destroyed.”

In this way, Wilson Gilmore theorizes racism as a relational process of statecraft. Organized abandonment by the state is not just a process, but a capacity: a means by which the state can shape both its power and its structure. As Wilson Gilmore explains:

Racism, specifically, is the state-sanctioned or extralegal production and exploitation of group-differentiated vulnerability to premature death … The state’s power to organize these various factors of production, or enable them to be disorganized or abandoned outright, is … based in relationships that also change over time and sometimes become so persistently challenged … that the entire character of the state eventually changes as well.”]

health communism, by beatrice adler-bolton and artie vierkant, 2022

[lamusedhermes]

Academic advices from a (non american) law student.

Premise: I feel the urge to underline the fact that I am not American nor attend any university in America due to the fact that most tips and tricks I found, coming from Americans, were scarce in terms of concrete application. If you found them to be useful, then I am more than glad. All I wish to do is to share different experiences and approaches to the university world that are maybe differing from the usual content.

I. “Time restricted” spaced repetition: the great majority of the subject in my curriculum are quite complex and portray a large number of complex topics, Latin terms, and regulations that are specific. What I suggest here is to write down in a fun colour (to me it is red) the words, terms, names and phrases that are difficult for you to remember. We are not born all knowing, and some terms can be, at first glance, peculiar or unusual. That is completely normal. Therefore, write down anything that you may struggle to remember and every day, you do your best to recall those specific terms, and over the span of even two days you will most likely incorporate even the most difficult words.

II. Repeat out loud: in my university, we do not have written exams. Therefore, practicing your speech for the exam is fundamental for us. However, even if your exams are not oral, explaining out loud subjects helps you remember them better (even if you give a look to your notes from time to time). Do this from day one of preparation. My favourite way of doing so is to repeat everything when outside, while on a walk or at a cafe.

III. Mental connections: chances are, some topics will be repeated in different ways in the same subject. For instance, the concept of inter-subjective laws was discussed three times in this one course, and each time a different aspect was discussed. What I am suggesting is that, when a particular topic or word comes up often, you force yourself to do two things: first, you do a repetition exercise in which you repeat where and when was that topic already mentioned, and second, you differentiate between the two. Why are they different, how are they different and in what ways they are similar.

IV. During the lectures: our professors do not record lectures, nor do they use any platform to “stream” them. If it is possible for you, attend the lectures! Take careful notes and correct them right away, after the lectures has finished! Ask those questions, no matter how “silly” they may be! The professor is right there for you, so you might as well use the opportunity to enrich your knowledge.

V. The notes: print them. Not only will your eyes thank you, but I find studying from paper more effective and it is easier to focus. Call me a grandma, but that is the truth. And if correcting some parts is the reason you prefer digital, try to simply cover the parts tg at you wish to rewrite eight plain paper and write the correction on it. This way the topic will be easier to be remembered.

VI. Audiobook: this may sound unusual, but listening to your notes can be quite beneficial. Due to me being a student, I have free access to the Microsoft package: world has this “read aloud” feature, and I play the audio during the night. The subconscious mind is much more powerful than what you may think of it.

VII. Grades: obviously we all aim for the greatest grades, but often the way we are graded may be out of your control. Sometimes you may get sick right before the exam, sometimes the examiner may be irritated and got up already upset with the world, sometimes we could have given better performances. It happens, and it will inevitably make you feel awful and out of place: please, remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. It will be better the next time, but in that moment remember that you are never alone. If you do not wish to talk it out with someone, ask ChatGPT. It really gives comfort and great advices in moments of frustration and disappointment. Do not ruin your life for a temporary moment.

[iatrophilosophos]

Like. Fucking. Hell. Electricity can be a legitimately useful resource but we For Real do not need this much of it

There are so many ways of producing electricity that are dependent on like either damage that has already been done (hey fun fact didja know solar fields decommission panels after a certain number of years? they hit like 80-90% of their original efficency and get rotated out even tho they're still very much capable of working fine!) or are just actually pretty reasonable at SMALL scales (hydro with a little water wheel from a small pond on a big creek -> can even increase biodiversity so long as ur like, paying attention and not fucking migrations with how you build things, diverting small amounts of flow from an already downhill stream for a few dozen yards can be basically fine, there's also gravity pumps uphill catchment tiny water towers etc; these systems just work with magnets and rotation, it's municipal generation and larger scale dams that get Bad)

None Of These will power millions of peoples home microwaves and electric kettles and cars and lighting and industry and all that bullshit. But there's many many years worth of reclaiming all the toxic extracted shit to power like, medical equipment. Eventually these things will fall off too, break for the last time and not be able to be fixed generations from now, but that's a lot fucking better bet for ur gr8 gr8 grandkids than no complex life on earth!

Do not fall for the trap of collapsing imperial core luxury into needs. It's unhelpful and makes you look like a callous, whiny fool. Differentiate what you need from what youve become accustomed to demanding. The world is fucking chockablock with materials that shouldn't have been made in the first place but fucking exist now, we cant compost trillions of miles of copper power lines. Municipal scales kill. Your toaster oven is not a ventilator.

[controlsy]

These are the main characters of the story! A Spinch scientist in the mountain town of Ragus Kaep named Dr. Hawk wanted to do something no scientists had ever done before, which was create an entirely new form of life. Though he succeeded, it didn't go how he thought it would.

His intentions were to make an ESPer robanthry who could take in every piece of information imaginable. Verge N. 1 was his first attempt at this. Verge is effectively a "technology ESPer" which means he can read all data from every piece of technology. As an example, looking at a phone he could read through its entire message history, its browsing history, every app it has, every contact, and every voicemail. However, unlike regular ESPers, he cannot read the intentions behind messages that are sent.

Hawk considered Verge to be on the brink (or verge) of success, but not good enough, so he created Verse N. 2, who was the second attempt. Verse is exactly what he wanted- he can not only read technology, but also the minds of regular anthries and every living thing. Verse is, quite literally, the most dangerous thing that has ever lived on Spinch.

Hawk's intentions were bad- he wanted to use them for evil gains, but he didn't anticipate how much free will they'd have, and instead of being able to use their abilities for wrongdoing, he simply puts them through testing and tasks and experiments to see what they are capable of. He controls their lives.

Verse resents their creator because he doesn't view either of them as actual people, and he's full of bitterness and anger. Verge doesn't like Hawk either, but he also has a SERIOUS complex about the fact he's literally the "failure" of the project, while Verse is the "success". Verge and Verse are also technically the same person in their programming- Verse is simply an "improved" edition of Verge. Hawk just built them with different appearances to differentiate them. Both of them also have huge identity issues and want to be their own people and don't like that they're the same person... at least most of the time, when sometimes Verge falls into the wish that they WERE literally the same because Verse is "better" than him.

ESPer robanthries are different from regular anthries in one major way. They have the ability to control their powers instead of it being non-stop and un-mutable. One aspect of robanthry biology is the fact that, since they are computers, all of their "senses" are just programs, so they can turn them on and off. They can turn off their hearing, their sight, their voice, or their sense of touch at any time. The ESPer sense is technically just another program, so they can turn that off too.

I hope you guys like them!!!

[ingravinoveritas]

Hello Amy! Thanks for having an open ask box, as always. I read your recent post about season 2 and I disagree with the other anon. For me, season 1 was boring, bordering on painful to watch, apart from the scenes that feature Crowley and Aziraphale in some way. During rewatches, I found myself skipping over all the parts, eg. with the Them, even the 4 horsemen, and I have never been one to fast forward any show I indulge in. It seems clear to me that David and Michael carried this entire show, and it would not have been what it is if they had cast other actors that don’t have this beautiful, age old familiarity, playful energy, and latent sexual tension between them. And because there is so much more of these characters in season 2, I prefer it over season 1 a great deal. The plot is quieter and more subtle, but just as powerful, to me, because it makes room for the big and complex questions.

The theme of s1 was free will, and s2 builds on that by adding: not just do we have free will, the concepts of right and wrong are an illusion. There is no absolute right or wrong. And that, to me, is an even more powerful message, because it challenges us, and makes us uncomfortable. But uncomfortable isn’t always a bad place to be in. That’s how we learn and grow and find out more about who we are and what we believe in.

In all honesty, I’m not familiar with either Terry’s or Neil’s work, so if I am differentiating between two styles of storytelling it’s subconscious. I wouldn’t be able to put my finger somewhere in the book or show and say “this is Terry” or “this is Neil”. But reading what the other anon has said, I find myself resonating more with s2, and wanted to offer my perspective. Thanks for all that you do and what you stand for.

Hi there! Well thank you for sharing your perspective, and for the kind words--what you said means a heck of a lot, and I appreciate it very much.

I absolutely 100% agree with you about season one. There is no question that Michael and David carried the show, as it very much did drag/become painfully boring whenever they were not on screen. I also think that, at least for me, the differentiation to Terry and Neil is the world-building/creating of these characters vs. what actually played out on screen. The pouring of the foundation versus the building that was ultimately constructed on top of it, if that makes sense.

And like you, I have also fast-forwarded through the Them and even the Four Horsemen, because everything happening there was just not as compelling or meaningful. It's interesting and almost ironic to think that, for a show (season) about the Apocalypse and that was so full of action-packed sequences, the most powerful and memorable part was the very quiet, very human relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley, all thanks to what you described: The familiarity and energy and sexual chemistry of Michael and David. Because they were the best "special effect" of the entire show.

So to that end, I could see season 2 as building on that. And I agree with you that one obviously big positive of season 2 was having much more Aziraphale and Crowley on screen. It did get quieter and much more philosophical, as you said, which was definitely meant to challenge us and push the viewer out of their comfort zone, in certain ways. I completely agree with you about being uncomfortable, and how important that is to help us learn and grow, and is ultimately what prevents us from being in an echo chamber. Because things are not always black and white, and holding on to that mindset often ends up harming both ourselves and others in the long run.

I think, then, that the issue with GO 2 was finding that delicate balance between the philosophical and the actual storytelling/advancement of the plot in an episodic setting. You can sort of feel that what worked well/better on the page didn't necessarily translate as well to the screen. To me, it felt like moving chess pieces around the board in the hope of achieving a checkmate, but the complex and occasionally confusing strategy overshadowed the pieces themselves, if that makes any sense.

In any case, I'm happy to hear that you resonated with S2 so much. You and the previous Anon both have your own opinions and stances on it, and that's what makes it all so great--that the same show can evoke such disparate reactions in people, and as a result lead to some really interesting discussion. Thank you for writing in! x

[skaldish]

I'm about to give you all the single most powerful piece of advice that was ever told to me:

It is important to be a principled person.

This is more important than being a good person. But don't take this to mean I think we should be bad people.

The reason why "being principled" has more weight than "being good" is because the definition of "good" is arbitrary. It changes depending on who you ask, which means the standards of achieving goodness are always going to change and pose contradictions.

Principles are different. They are more actionable and concrete. Principles are ideas and concepts you personally value, in that you find them valuable to your lived experience. This makes them different than something like a commandment, because they're not a doctrine. Their source is your personality—who you are and the experiences that have shaped you—rather than your goals and ambitions alone.

To give an example, here are a few of my own principles:

I value self-sovereignty. I think it's a person's inherent right to be free of undue influence, and to act as agents of their own free will. (Not to be confused with acting with impunity; people have the right to experience the consequences of their own actions the same way they have the right to act upon their own free will.)

I value people. I show people courtesy as a baseline, even during arguments, until it becomes clear the other person simply wishes to engage in the spirit of hostility. And even then I don't really lash out—I just leave. At no point do I lose sight of the fact that the people I'm interacting with are as real as I am, who have feelings and complex lives the same as I do. This means I also really value trying to understand where people are coming from, and to look at things from their perspective, even if I don't agree with it.

I value being accurate, as opposed to being right. This has been a more rewarding approach for me, by comparison.

I value discernment. I want to know what things are, which means differentiating them from what I think they are from what they seem to be, and from what they are not. The reason why I practice discernment is due how I think—my brain understands things based on how they are, rather than based on what they are—but the reason why I value discernment is because it allows me to interact with the world in a much deeper way.

I value being a mammal. Life becomes easier when I (to quote another Tumblr post) let the mammal that is my body love what it loves. Fighting against this in the past proved to be a pointless and joyless endeavor.

I have more, but these are just the things that come to me off the top of my head. And keep in mind, these will likely change as I change as a person, because that is how principles work.

To be honest, I've never put much thought into whether other people should have the same principles as me; people have different personalities and lived experiences than I do, so it makes sense to me that we would all prioritize different things.

But what I do know is that I fundamentally disagree with people whose principles are antithetical to my own, principles like conquest (of self or other), conformity, purity, and controlling others. Whether or not someone realizes they're embodying these principles is another story, but in any case it's how I know who to avoid engaging with. This is regardless of someone's political alignment or identity.

In my opinion, thinking this way makes it easier to stay grounded in a rapidly-changing world, and to remain focused on what's actually important to you in the face of the unknown. It allows you to find stable ground within yourself.

[eyeballplanets]

it is funny how many invincible sequences i find myself analyzing turn into memes. if you ask me, the dinner sequence is a father’s hesitation to act out the brutal gestures inherent to viltrumite child-rearing (and if later viltrumites’ remarks are to be scrutinized, especially for half viltrumites), how the mother and son, completely ignorant to this violent ritual, see the first sign of powers being an initiation into the world of the superhero, and how this dissonance establishes the dichotomy of viltrumite and superhero. to train mark would be to exit the world of the superhero, a fantasy to which he has become inured for twenty years; to train mark would be to bring him with you, hands bloodied. if you ask me, mark crying for cecil's name is an invitation of the violation of autonomy that is the gda's controls. mark would take the man who first introduced himself by entering his bedroom and telling him he needs to keep this a secret if he wants to be like his father over the man who cups his cheek and pins his wrist and pulls his hair and breathlessly tells him he likes how he struggles. it a reflection of how invisibility or subtly coercive systems persist because they differentiate themselves from the brutal. the gda exists because it is not Those Guys. they turn the bodies of boys of color who look just like our hero into mechanical monstrosities. but they promise safety. so like the rat returning to a barren cage because it knows the walls will enclose it, mark begs to be controlled, and the government entity uses this pathos to justify and reinforce their own coercion. conquest must be kept alive so that the gda does not lose control again.

but instead i Sound like Wait guys we need to talk about the unspoken complexity of Are You Sure and Sea Salt.

[dr-vintura-o-serif]

So as a severely late congratulations for Stanford Pines as the #1 Breed-able Tumblr Man (Winner of Need that Man Pregnant), I’ve decided to introduce some Billford ship kids that have been bouncing around in my cranium for at least half a year.

I don’t have any art of these 2, but I’ll try to describe them to the best of my ability.

Of course they’re twins because why not and they would’ve been “born” pre-portal when Stanford still viewed Bill as his “Muse”.

Their names are Manfred & Mia. They both have a human appearance, including having polydactyl (so they can “blend in” as Bill said) but do have a dream demon form as well.

While both are half-human/half-dream demon, their powers & forms are severely differentiated between each other.

Mia has more of Stanford’s human genes, but still has minor abilities like telekinesis, pyrokinesis, and the ability to create “pockets” to access a pocket dimension that she basically uses as storage. She’s unable to actively see or hear Bill, but can hear “echoes” and see “after images” of Bill.

Manfred, or Manny, has more of Bill’s dream demon/euclidean genes. He has a range of powers/abilities, below are a few of these:

Pyrokinesis

Psychokinesis (Telekinesis/Teleportation/etc)

Pocket Dimension Creation & Opening

Detachment & Free Mobility of Limbs

Regeneration & Growth of Extra Features

Possession & Shadow Puppeteering

Shapeshifting & Mimickry

Time Pausing for a short period of time

There’s a few more, but I don’t know how to describe them. His powers are tied to his emotions, so when he gets really upset, let’s just say it was interesting trying to explain how a wild fire ignited during a heavy blizzard.

Manny does have a variety of forms that he can turn into, but his favorites are the following:

2-D or Shadow Form (similar to Prismo from Adventure Time or the Collector’s shadow form from the Owl House)

Floating hexagon with 4 eyes (basically like Bill but different shape & more eyes)

Giant Hexagon Centipede

Monster Titan (similar to Bill’s Monster form but more humanoid)

Regarding their personalities, I’ll keep it simple for this post, but if people are interested I can do a more in-depth explanation about in general.

Mia: She is similar to how Stanford was when he was younger, but can be a bit air-headed and clumsy when it comes to “social interaction”. She somehow overthinks and underthinks, overestimates and underestimates most situations, hyper focused and easily distracted when working or studying. She can understand the most complex instructions/tasks perfectly, but can get confused over the most simple instructions/tasks. She just needs some time to comprehend.

Manny: In the most simplest of terms, he’s a chaotic good/neutral goblin who craves for excitement and some destruction as a treat. He’s essentially a walking a paradox: he can be the most honest yet the most cunning, the kindest yet the most sadistic, the calmest yet the most intense, and my personal favorite, the most organized yet the most chaotic. He does share some of Bill’s manipulative nature and sadistic humor, but he means no harm…most of the time.

That’s all for now, again if more people are interested, I’ll do a deep dive into their life (pre-portal/post-portal) and the relationship between the family.

Also I’ll do a post going over Stanley’s kids if people are interested as well.

[mohntilyet]

i’m having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but i’m intrigued by what it gives us. illario ‘i accidentally caused my cousin’s death & can never tell anyone’ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescue…..

anyways i would love your thoughts!!

95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. it’s also this reason why i don’t actually think too much about “illario got lucanis killed, but didn’t mean to do it”, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that he’s too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards “and what if he just sucked actually” and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanis’ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a ‘gift’. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanis’ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.

i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illario’s worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just… out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now he’s dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesn’t want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadn’t lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.

i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly he’d fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesn’t want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zara’s fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didn’t even MEAN to😭 ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like “ohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?” + “elaborate.” + “i gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.” so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of “illario, you idiot” + pity because turns out he didn’t even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise he’d probably have to kill him.

i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldn’t happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i can’t think of why….. maybe a thing where illario is like “ok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my way” and recruits disgraced houses or houses that don’t like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i don’t believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whispering— lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didn’t mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt

so ‘murder of crows’ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but it’s a little more hesitant and lots of “why won’t you just let me kill her? i’m doing this for the both of us”. he’s had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of “i can’t kill illario as much as he couldn’t kill me”, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that i’ve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL

the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didn’t go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think he’d be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails “i once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.”)

[dirtyoldmanhole]

i'm going to be musing about one of gunter's most controversial lines here just because i've been idly thinking about it while drawing.

heads up for dead dove shit.

context: the JP version of Fates:Conquest had a region-locked minigame ("skinship" where you basically pet the character with your stylus lol) where you the player could interact more with a married gunter if you went that route - it also had several JP-only lines which you can read here.

generally they aren't that much different in tone than the EN ones though fun to read (especially since the minigame is lowkey sexual in nature; all the cast's lines were more strongly sexual not just his), but there was one line that uh. raised some eyebrows in the EN fandom when the fan-translators found it, shall we say.

in bold; (i've added some of the others for helpful context; i don't believe all of them are said one after the other, as it's whenever you choose to enter the minigame one is said).

By no means did I think these feelings would develop… Close your eyes for a moment. I apologize… I thought just touching you would be fine… When you touch me like that… Don’t tease me too much… or even someone like me won’t be able to endure it. (TL: He uses the verb “tawamureru” which means to play, joke, or flirt but I decided to liberally change it to tease) You’ve returned. We mustn’t… Oh no… I thought of you as a child but… I love you. Haha… is something the matter? Is it fine for me to touch you too? This side of you… don’t show it to anyone else. My wife… does cute things… I love you. I might have regarded you with special feelings ever since you were young. (A RANK:) Thank you very much for being kind to me to this extent. For as long as you wish it… I promise never to leave your side. (S RANK:) I thought I would always live alone. But you… lit a flame once more in my heart which I had locked away. This time I won’t let you go. I love you more than anyone else.

(... once again touched at how surprisingly romantic he can be)

anyway! oh yes, That Line.

tsk tsk.

given his position of power with essentially raising corrin, you can imagine how some people who already disliked the ship tended to leap on that line as "proof" of him sexually abusing corrin as a child to put it bluntly.

thoughts are still rotating, but roughly in order of:

instinctively (and the most boring position just to get it out of the way) on the first level i don't like how often this line is immediately whipped out to dissuade gunter/corrin shippers specifically but also shippers in general from engaging with taboo sexual concepts. especially when it's just as boringly... crudely blunt as "pedo". (slightly adjacent to gunter fans in general since there's sometimes an uneasy feeling that as long as you don't ship him that way with a 40-year age gap/parental figure/etc there's an exception carved out as "one of the good shippers" as long as you ship him with less of a power differential (eg gunter/shura. note i dig that ship, this is just an example.); though i think this sentiment has thankfully died down as of late versus the early years of fates fandom.)

god that is such a fustratingly common and boring way to engage with media. moving on.

on the second level down, i also instinctively dislike the feeling that it's whipped out to flatten the potential of gunter being romantically/sexually written as either binary concepts of "good" and "bad-touch", with the latter being often pointed out with an accusatory finger. personally i like reading bad-touch gunter for the lulz sometimes. also for the nuance given how sadly complex child abuse/grooming/pedophilia is in real life, and how it impacts the victim in so many ways beyond the obvious. and shocker - i like reading predatory-gunter sometimes even for cranking-the-hog-material! (predatory-gunter is kinda hot, man.) sometimes all of the above at the same time. i think all of these readings is just as applicable and interesting and needful as redemptive-gunter stories. (it's a very similar reason to why i fucking love possessed!gunter noncon what-if setups.)

and the above point doesn't even go into the nuance of can-you-even-have-redemption with the above if you want it. how would that work. how would that work in rev-verse vs conquest (different flavors of anankos possession going on in both. it's so much more complex than your usual grooming story if you frame it that way because his own agency is literally a question mark the entire time, which is endlessly fascinating to me with the horror potential as being a double victim in some ways. is this actually anankos' influence more than anything? how would everyone feel about that? especially anankos being corrin's bio-dad?)

going back to the quote itself there's even several other ways to interpret it that's not a crude (and imo annoying) distraction of moralizing.

like i always found it interesting that for a guy who deliberately self-censors 95% of the time, that he kinda blurts that out in a weak moment (which is already one interpretation, that it's semi accidental). why would he say that to corrin?

seriously, why would he?

i don't think he's trying to scare her off (like he does with some lines when he's a little insecure about his age).

what if he's genuinely fond of and loves corrin with a nuanced blend of fatherly love at the begining but yeah it did turn sexual towards the end (plus fatherly love) and either he doesn't want to exactly interrogate himself when that changed (because i personally think he holds a lot of understandable guilt over these feelings in general), or he isn't thinking about that at the moment and like. how the hell do you relay something like that without caveat-ing yourself to hell.

i think it's one of the few times here he's actually trying to be emotionally honest and vulnerable about how shits' complicated to him too. (and keep in mind he is not in general..... as emotionally aware as the tumblr crowd lol. he's an old man.)

there's a funny line in my head right now of "schrodinger's daddy dom" where society right now is a-okay with a daddy kink from the little's side but metatextually we've created a situation where it's impossible to create a three-dimensional daddy dom that is somehow free of sin and yet has honest to god sexual desires of his own especially in a messy situation like this.

especially in an evolving situation like this when it was very clear by the S-support he wasn't ever anticipating corrin to reciprocate his feelings, and he was dealing with his budding feelings by essentially just keeping it to himself. (canonically, he wanted to do the least-messy thing by not involving himself with corrin. it's only if corrin/you pursue him that he even gets this far.)

the extra funny thing:

all of this is dependent on the translation. culturally, through this whole game of telephone, the line itself may have some other JP specific connotations that we aren't aware of. christ what i wouldn't give to pay a fluent JP translator who didn't mind engaging with dead dove concepts to go through his support chain + these lines and give notes there.

....

and that's probably not even all of my thoughts but it's an essay as-is. :P