#how to keep track of everything when you have bad memory

[torgawl]

do we think fontaine is a mirage (people being hydro eidolons for example) and the flooding already happened way back then and furina will find a way to turn back things by sacrificing herself? do we think she'll fake a calamity to fool fate and fabricate a sense of loss, sacrificing herself so it doesn't happen in the first place? i'm so intrigued about the flooding in the trailer aaa

[faaun]

idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

[pucksandpower]

Malfunction

Franco Colapinto x physician!Reader

Summary: Franco’s concussion has come and gone, but his desire to see the angel of a physician who likely saved his life has only gotten stronger … it’s just a shame that he tends to lose any semblance of composure when you’re around

Note: this is the much requested second part to Malpractice … but even better than the first part if I do say so myself 🫣

The Las Vegas Grand Prix is a distant blur in Franco’s memory. The crash. The pain. The disorientation.

But there’s something else that lingers, too. Something soft that refuses to leave him alone.

It’s the image of you, kneeling in front of him, your hands steady even as his world spun. Your voice cutting through the haze, your gaze sharp and intense, demanding his attention. The way you pushed him to stay alert, to pay attention, to focus on something other than the chaos in his head.

Franco knows he owes his sanity, maybe even his life, to you.

It’s been a week since the crash, and he’s been cleared by the medical team to race again in Qatar, despite a lingering headache that’s been stubbornly hanging on. But it’s not the headache that’s bothering him. It’s the fact that you’re not here. You’re not at the track. Not in the garage. Not hovering over him like some kind of guardian angel.

He wants to see you again. Needs to.

He’s sitting in the Williams debrief room, surrounded by engineers who are talking a mile a minute about tire wear and lap times. But Franco is barely listening. He keeps checking his phone, hoping for some sort of miracle: a text, a call, anything that might tell him you’re here. That you’ve returned to the paddock.

But the screen stays empty.

“Franco, are you with us?” James Vowles’ voice cuts through his thoughts, snapping him back to the present.

“Yeah, sorry,” Franco mutters, rubbing his eyes. “What were you saying about tire strategy?”

James raises an eyebrow. “It’s fine. Focus on your recovery. We’re just going over the data from today’s practice. You’ve got time. But-” He looks around, making sure no one else is listening, “-don’t be distracted during qualifying tomorrow. We need every bit of performance we can get from you this weekend.”

“Right.” Franco nods, but his mind drifts again, his gaze slipping back to his phone. It’s like the rhythm of the weekend has been broken without you here, without the sharpness of your voice telling him he’s being an idiot, without your soft, steady presence making everything feel a little more manageable.

A soft knock sounds at the door, and Alex steps in, his casual smile immediately making the room feel a little lighter. His eyes flicker over to Franco. “How’s it going, mate?”

Franco immediately perks up. “Alex! You’re a sight for sore eyes.” He straightens up in his chair, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Alex raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Is that because you’ve missed me, or because I bring good news?”

“Both,” Franco grins. “But seriously, I’ve been thinking about something, and I need your help.”

Alex folds his arms, giving Franco a knowing look. “Uh oh. What have you gotten yourself into now?”

“It’s about Y/N,” Franco says, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t seem too surprised. He sighs, already knowing where this is headed. “Ah, I should’ve known.”

“No, listen,” Franco presses, his voice a little more serious. “I need her to come to Abu Dhabi. She has to be there. I-” He pauses, trying to put his feelings into words. “I’ve been thinking about her all week. I just … I need to see her again.”

Alex raises both hands in mock surrender. “Whoa, whoa. Slow down. You want me to convince her to come to a race just so you can see her again?”

Franco shrugs, looking entirely unapologetic. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

Alex shakes his head, a bemused smile tugging at his lips. “You really have it bad, don’t you?”

Franco hesitates, his smile faltering just slightly, then nods. “I do.” His expression softens. “She helped me when I didn’t even know what was happening. I’ve never had someone take care of me like that.”

Alex takes a moment, studying Franco’s face, then lets out a long breath. “Look, I can’t make any promises. Y/N’s a resident physician. Her schedule is insane. She barely has time to breathe, let alone fly out to the Middle East for a race. But-” He hesitates, as if weighing his next words carefully. “But I’ll ask her. I’ll see what I can do. But no promises, okay?”

“Just ask,” Franco says urgently. “I don’t care if it’s a long shot. I need her there.”

Alex chuckles, shaking his head. “Alright, alright. I’ll ask. But you owe me a beer if this works.”

“You got it,” Franco grins, already feeling the relief of having put his request into motion. “Thanks.”

***

It’s late by the time you’re wrapping up your shift at the hospital. The weight of your scrubs feels heavier than usual tonight, your body aching after hours of rounds and consultations. You’ve barely slept all week, the demands of your residency taking up every last ounce of energy. All you want to do now is crash into bed and forget about the world for a few hours.

But then your phone buzzes in your pocket, and the familiar name on the screen makes you stop in your tracks.

Alex.

You sigh, glancing around the empty hallway before answering. “Hey, Alex. What’s up?”

“Hey,” Alex greets you, his tone casual but there’s a hint of something else in his voice. “How’s it going?”

You roll your eyes, leaning against the wall. “You know, same old. Patients, paperwork, more patients. I swear, I’m starting to see people’s illnesses in my dreams at this point. What’s up?”

“Well, funny you should mention that,” Alex says with a chuckle, “because I’ve got a bit of a favor to ask.”

You brace yourself. “What now?”

“I need you to come to Abu Dhabi.”

There’s a beat of silence. “What? No. I can’t just drop everything and fly to Abu Dhabi. You know how insane my schedule is right now.”

“I know, I know,” Alex says quickly. “But listen, it’s not for me. It’s for Franco.”

You blink, unsure if you heard him right. “Franco? What does he have to do with this?”

“He, uh, well, he’s been asking about you. He really wants you to come. He … he kind of needs you there, Y/N.”

You frown. “Needs me? What, like for a medical emergency?”

“No, no,” Alex quickly reassures you. “It’s not like that. He’s just — he’s been a bit, you know, off since the crash. He keeps talking about how much you helped him, how much he needs to see you again. He’s … kinda, well, taken with you.”

You pause, processing the unexpected request. “Wait. You want me to go to Abu Dhabi just to … see Franco?”

Alex sighs. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and I totally get it if you can’t make it. I just thought I’d put it out there, because he’s really … well, he’s really worried about seeing you again.”

You take a deep breath, staring at the floor. There’s a tug at your chest. Franco’s crash. The way he looked when he stumbled into the garage, his eyes unfocused, his voice thick with concussion. And how you couldn’t help but care, couldn’t help but feel something stir in your chest as you took care of him.

“I don’t know,” you say softly. “I don’t know if I can get time off. I’ve got a million things to do.”

“Please,” Alex pleads, his tone sincere. “Just think about it. I’ll take care of the rest. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just — just come for the weekend. For him.”

You hesitate for a long moment. Your exhaustion is overwhelming, but so is the pull to be there for Franco, to check in on him after everything that happened.

“Okay,” you say finally, your voice quiet but firm. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Alex lets out a relieved breath. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to him.”

“I’ll talk to my supervisor tomorrow and see if I can get a couple of days off. I’ll let you know.”

“Great. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks again, really.”

As the call ends, you press the phone to your ear, staring at the blank hospital hallway. Something in your chest stirs, a mix of curiosity and something else you can’t quite name. You promised yourself you wouldn’t get involved with any of these drivers. But Franco … there’s something about him. Something you can’t shake.

You don’t know what’s going to happen in Abu Dhabi. But you know one thing for sure: you’re going to see him again.

***

Franco is buzzing with energy as he walks away from the Williams garage after FP2. The track is alive with its usual Friday hum: team radios squawking, mechanics wheeling equipment, fans pressing against barricades for a glimpse of the action. Normally, this is his favorite part of the weekend — the calm between sessions when he can breathe and think through what’s next.

But today, his thoughts are miles away.

You.

Alex told him you’d agreed to come. He’s spent all week mentally preparing for this moment, imagining what he’ll say when he sees you again. He’d told himself he’d play it cool. That he wouldn’t come off as desperate or weird. That he’d be charming and effortless.

And now, as he walks toward the Williams motorhome, he’s running through those lines in his head like a script. But then, through the glass doors of the motorhome, he spots you.

You’re sitting at a table with Lily, wine glasses between you. You’re mid-laugh, one hand lightly gesturing, the other wrapped around the stem of your glass. The sound of your laugh doesn’t reach him, but your expression — warm and animated — is enough to stop him in his tracks.

Franco stares, frozen. For a second, he’s not a professional driver or a smooth-talking twenty-one-year-old. He’s just a guy, floored by the sight of someone he’s been thinking about far too much.

And then, because the universe has a cruel sense of humor, he walks straight into the glass door.

The sound is embarrassingly loud — a deep, resonant thud that draws the attention of a couple of mechanics nearby. Franco stumbles back, clutching his forehead as the door wobbles slightly on its hinges.

“Oh, come on,” he mutters under his breath, blinking rapidly to clear the stars dancing in his vision.

Inside, Lily gasps, already half out of her chair. But you — you just press a hand to your mouth, visibly trying to suppress a laugh.

Franco pushes the door open this time (successfully, thank God) and steps into the motorhome, trying to salvage whatever remains of his dignity.

“Didn’t know the motorhome was defending itself today,” he says, flashing a crooked grin as he rubs his forehead.

You’re still smiling, but there’s a glint in your eyes as you take a sip of wine. “I see you’re still finding creative ways to injure yourself.”

Lily, standing now, gives him a once-over. “Are you okay? That sounded bad.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Franco says quickly, though he’s still holding his head. “Just testing the structural integrity of the door. Very solid. Great engineering.”

Lily rolls her eyes, muttering something about grabbing an ice pack before disappearing into the kitchen.

You lean back in your chair, tilting your head as you look at him. “You know, you really don’t have to keep hurting yourself just to get my attention. There are easier ways.”

Franco blinks, momentarily thrown off by the teasing edge in your voice. But then he recovers, his grin widening. “Oh, so you noticed me, huh? Mission accomplished.”

You arch an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Hard not to notice when someone face-plants into a door.”

“Ouch,” Franco says, clutching his chest dramatically. “First my head, now my ego. You’re ruthless.”

You laugh, setting your glass down. “I’m a doctor. I call it like I see it.”

“And what do you see?” He asks, leaning casually against the doorframe (or at least trying to — he slightly misjudges the angle and has to correct himself, which makes him look anything but casual).

“I see someone who might need another concussion test if they keep this up,” you say dryly, though there’s a hint of amusement in your tone.

Franco seizes the opening. “Oh, you’ll give me a test? What, right here? Should I sit down? Or maybe lie down? Whatever you need, angel, I’m ready.”

You roll your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitch. “I’m off-duty, thank you very much. And stop calling me angel.”

“Why? It suits you,” Franco says without missing a beat. He steps closer, his grin turning just a bit sheepish. “You did save me, after all.”

“From driving with a concussion,” you reply, crossing your arms.

“Still counts,” he says, shrugging. “So … you’re really here. Thought maybe Alex was messing with me.”

You tilt your head, watching him carefully. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know, for fun? He likes to mess with me,” Franco says, his grin turning rueful. “But I’m glad he wasn’t. It’s … it’s good to see you.”

Your expression softens, and you glance down briefly before meeting his eyes again. “It’s good to see you too.”

For a moment, there’s a silence between you. Not awkward, but charged. Franco shifts his weight, scratching the back of his neck. He’s been preparing for this moment all week, but now that you’re standing in front of him, he’s at a loss.

Lily reappears then, an ice pack in hand. She tosses it to Franco, who catches it against his chest. “Here,” she says. “For the door-shaped bruise you’re probably going to have.”

“Thanks,” Franco says, pressing the pack to his forehead. He winces slightly but keeps his gaze on you.

Lily looks between the two of you, her lips twitching as if she’s trying not to laugh. “Well, I’ll leave you two to … whatever this is,” she says, grabbing her glass and retreating toward the other end of the motorhome.

Franco watches her go, then looks back at you, his smile softening. “So … you’re here for the whole weekend?”

You nod. “Lily convinced me to stay. Said I needed a break.”

“You do,” Franco says quickly. “Definitely. Big time.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? And why’s that?”

“Because …” Franco hesitates, then decides to go for it. “Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since Vegas.”

You blink, caught off guard by his honesty. “Franco-”

“I’m serious,” he interrupts, stepping closer. “I know I’m probably coming off like a total idiot right now, but I don’t care. You-” He gestures vaguely, as if struggling to find the right words. “You’re different. You’re not like anyone else here.”

“That’s because I’m not supposed to be here,” you say, your tone light but your eyes searching his. “I’m a doctor, Franco. Not meant for … whatever this world is.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he says, shaking his head. “You could be anything, and I’d still want to know you. You’re …” He trails off, then laughs at himself. “God, I’m bad at this.”

You laugh too, finally relaxing. “A little, yeah.”

“But I’m trying,” he says, his expression earnest now. “And I’ll keep trying, even if it means walking into more doors. Or walls. Or whatever else gets in my way.”

You shake your head, exasperated but undeniably charmed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously into you,” Franco counters, grinning.

You groan, but your smile betrays you. “Stop. That was awful.”

“Was it?” Hr teases, leaning just slightly closer.

“Yes,” you say firmly, though there’s a hint of laughter in your voice. “And I’m not letting you use your injuries as an excuse to flirt with me.”

“Then what excuse should I use?” He asks, tilting his head.

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling now. “How about none? Just be normal.”

“Normal,” Franco repeats, as if testing the word. “Okay. I can do that. Probably.”

“Somehow, I doubt it,” you say, but your tone is lighter now, your guard lowering just a fraction.

Franco grins, sensing the shift. He might not be smooth, but he’s persistent. And right now, that feels like enough.

***

The hospital hums with its usual rhythm: the sharp beeps of monitors, the steady shuffle of footsteps, and the occasional murmur of voices echoing down sterile hallways. You’re halfway through your shift, mentally cataloging a growing to-do list, when one of the nurses finds you near the break room.

She looks far too amused for your liking, a sly smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Hey, Doc,” she says, her tone conspiratorial. “You’ve got a patient in Room 43. Interesting case. File’s by the door.”

You glance up from your notes, immediately suspicious. “Interesting how?”

“Let’s just say … not your usual trauma,” she replies, her grin widening. “Go see for yourself.”

With a sigh, you grab your tablet and head down the hallway. You’re too tired to entertain the nurse’s cryptic humor, but curiosity tugs at you anyway. When you reach Room 43, you spot the chart hanging by the door. You pick it up and start skimming, your brain automatically processing the medical shorthand.

And then your eyes land on the complaint: penile fracture.

You freeze. Your brain short-circuits for a good five seconds.

Penile fracture. Seriously? You take a deep breath, fighting the urge to laugh or groan. It’s not unheard of, but it’s rare enough to make your day a little more … colorful.

Squaring your shoulders, you prepare yourself for what’s undoubtedly going to be an awkward encounter. Professionalism, you remind yourself. You’ve handled weirder cases.

But all of that resolve shatters the second you open the door and step into the room.

Because the patient isn’t some anonymous stranger.

It’s Franco.

Franco, lounging on the exam table like he doesn’t have a care in the world, scrolling through his phone with his free hand. Franco, the same man you’ve been dating for months, who absolutely should not be in this hospital room right now.

Your mouth opens, ready to deliver your standard introduction, but no words come out.

Franco looks up at the sound of the door, his face breaking into that familiar, devilish grin. “Hey, angel.”

“What the-” You stop yourself, gripping the edge of the clipboard like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality. “Franco, what are you doing here?”

He sets his phone down, looking at you with wide, innocent eyes. “I’m a patient. Clearly.”

You take a deep breath, setting the clipboard aside. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope.” He leans back slightly, gesturing toward himself with both hands. “Broken dick. You saw the file.”

Your jaw tightens as you step closer, lowering your voice. “Franco, this is a hospital. You can’t just-”

“I didn’t just anything,” he cuts in, feigning indignation. “I’m here because you abandoned me this morning. And now I’m suffering.”

You blink at him, completely thrown. “Suffering?”

“Yes!” He says, sitting up straighter, though the smirk tugging at his lips betrays any attempt at seriousness. “You left me. Alone. In bed. With …” He lowers his voice dramatically. “An issue.”

Your brain scrambles to keep up. “An issue?”

Franco sighs, as though the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “Blue balls. A raging, unresolved situation. You’re a doctor — you know how dangerous that can be.”

“Dangerous?” Your voice rises slightly before you catch yourself. “Franco, I left because I had to come to work. Like a normal person.”

“Right, but normal people don’t leave their boyfriends high and dry,” he argues, his tone edging into the realm of petulant. “Do you know how much it hurts? It’s practically a medical emergency.”

You close your eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of your nose. “So let me get this straight,” you say slowly. “You’re here because you have blue balls. And instead of — oh, I don’t know — handling it with your hand and some lotion like a grown adult, you decided to come to my workplace and waste everyone’s time?”

“I don’t see it as wasting time,” Franco says, crossing his arms. “I see it as seeking expert care. From a very qualified, very beautiful doctor.”

“Franco,” you say warningly, but he’s already grinning.

“Besides,” he continues, his voice dropping into a teasing lilt, “don’t you think it’s romantic? I’m literally willing to suffer for you.”

“Oh my God.” You press a hand to your forehead, feeling a mix of exasperation and disbelief. “You are not suffering. And this is not romantic — it’s ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously sweet,” Franco counters, clearly enjoying himself.

You stare at him, torn between wanting to strangle him and laugh. “You know I could get in trouble for this, right? What if someone finds out I’m treating my boyfriend? Or worse, that you’re faking a medical emergency?”

“I’m not faking,” he says quickly, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “The pain in my cock is very real.”

“Franco.” Your voice is flat, and you fix him with your best no-nonsense look.

He hesitates for a beat, then leans forward slightly, lowering his voice like he’s about to confess something scandalous. “Okay, maybe it isn’t a fracture. But it is painful!”

You throw your hands up, resisting the urge to laugh despite yourself. “Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.”

Franco pouts, his lower lip sticking out in an exaggerated fashion. “Come on, angel. Don’t be mad. I just wanted to see you.”

“You couldn’t have waited until my shift was over?”

He shrugs. “What can I say? I’m impatient. And in my defense, you looked very cute leaving this morning.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, you love me,” he says, his grin widening.

“Don’t push your luck,” you warn, though there’s no real bite in your tone.

Franco leans back on the exam table, looking far too pleased with himself for someone who just disrupted your workday. “So … are you gonna examine me or what?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Do you want me to call security? Because that’s where this is headed.”

“You wouldn’t,” he says, his confidence unwavering.

You cross your arms, raising an eyebrow. “Try me.”

Franco holds your gaze for a moment, then sighs dramatically, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine. No exam. But only because I value our relationship.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, not even trying to hide your sarcasm.

He grins again, the kind of grin that’s always been your undoing. “You can’t stay mad at me, angel. Admit it.”

You roll your eyes, but a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth despite your best efforts. “Franco, you’re lucky I like you. Otherwise, you’d be on your way out of here in handcuffs.”

His eyebrows shoot up, and he smirks. “Kinky.”

“Oh, for the love of-” You don’t bother finishing the sentence, turning toward the door instead.

“Wait, wait!” Franco calls after you, sliding off the exam table. “I’m kidding! Don’t go!”

You pause, looking back at him. He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets, his expression softer now. “Seriously,” he says. “I just … I missed you. And I thought maybe this would make you laugh. Or at least roll your eyes. Which it did, so … mission accomplished?”

You sigh, feeling your resolve waver. It’s hard to stay mad at him when he’s looking at you like that — like you’re the only person in the world who matters.

“Franco,” you say, your voice quieter now. “You can’t just show up like this. I have a job to do.”

“I know,” he says, stepping closer. “And I promise I won’t make a habit of it. But … can I take you to dinner after your shift? As an apology?”

You study him for a moment, weighing your options. Finally, you let out a small sigh. “Fine. But only if you promise to behave.”

“I promise,” he says quickly, holding a hand over his heart.

“And no more faking injuries,” you add, pointing a finger at him.

“Scout’s honor,” he says, though the mischievous glint in his eye suggests otherwise.

You shake your head, exasperated but smiling. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And yet, you keep me around,” he says, grinning.

“For now,” you say, opening the door. “Now get out of here before someone sees you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Franco says, saluting playfully as he follows you into the hallway.

As he walks away, you can’t help but smile to yourself. Ridiculous as he is, there’s no denying that life with Franco is never boring.

[stxxrlights]

𝐄𝐗-𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

ex-husband!toji who was devastated when you asked for a divorce but knew it was gonna end up that way. the way he acted like he never cared, always acting sassy towards you even on the days he knew there was something wrong with you on that day. he didn't know that all that would lead up to you eventually wanting a divorce. he denied at first but after thinking it through, he knew it was for the best.

ex-husband!toji who cried himself to sleep the first few months after you had left. the house never felt so empty and quiet. the bed was so warm and everything looked so dull. he missed your warm touch, your weird but cute laugh, the stupid jokes you would tell him when you were getting too sleepy. and now all of that was gone. all because of his ignorance, his negligence. he had finally found happiness with you and he fucked it up. his heart aching whenever he though of you.

ex-husband!toji who resorted to drinking to full all the emotions he was feeling. wasting all of his money on alcohol, but it still didn't help. because even in his drunken state, he still acknowledge you as the love of his life. the one who was able to fix him. him getting a little sober when he comes back to his place calling your name and then remembering that you're gone.

ex-husband!toji who got a little too exited when you called him telling him that you left some important things. his heart is beating rapidly in his chest, a wide smile etched on his face as he hopes you don't get a hint of it either. as much as he wants you back, he does not want to appear too desperate.

ex-husband!toji who's hand was shaking when you rang the doorbell. he opened the door to see you looking as stunning as possible, while he felt like shit. he had heavy bags under his eyes, his beard disheveled and his eyes slightly red form the alcohol in his system and from crying.

ex-husband!toji who persuaded you to stay a little longer and have a chat. and was shocked that you agreed. it was kind of awkward at first, but the years of knowing each other didn't go to waste. you talked about the new place you got, and how you felt during your marriage, getting to understand your side and realizing what an asshole he was to you. but at least now he doesn't feel so lonely. at least today he can go to bed knowing that he got to have you close to him, even if it was only for about an hour.

ex-husband!toji who you agreed to stay friends with because you still cared about him. there were many memories of the both of you happy and in love, acting like complete fools, memories that still put a smile on your face. he was quite the experience, but circumstances made you let go. it was better for the both of you. but of course staying friends is not a big deal.

ex-husband!toji who slowly started getting his life back on track. shaving his stubble regularly, keeping the house clean, arranging his wardrobe and drinking way less that he was as well as working extra hard on his job so he can earn a lot of money and buy himself or you something nice. because at least he didn't fuck up that bad, right...?

ex-husband!toji who became a better person in general, to maintain your relationship. in hopes of trying to get you back. slowly, it was a process. getting you to trust him, just like the first time and making you realize that you miss him and being with him just as much as he does and eventually confessing your feelings to him like the first time. it was genius, really.

ex-husband!toji who gets heart broken when he finds out you've moved on. moved on to a guy more handsome, younger, richer and clearly treats you better than he ever did. he's stunned when you introduce them to one another, not knowing what to say. a fake wobbly smile is plastered on his face as he shakes hands with your new man. he congratulates you. what else is there to say? but he realizes now that he's lost you. there was no chance you were ever going to be together again. nome at all...

comments and reblogs are appreciated

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Lawyer Husband x GN Spouse Reader HCs

CW: mafia related stuffs

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕

Yan! Husband is a gentle soul to you, he can't and will never lay a finger with the meaning to hurt you! He just doesn't have the strength to do so, almost as though he was set to be so. It's another whole story when it comes to the others though, can you guess how many times he has pulled the trigger of a gun?

Yan! Husband who spoils you rotten with everything you could ever think of. Luxuries, reputations but never the forbodden knowledge he has tried so hard to keep away from you. No, he won't clip your wings. You are his songbird who gets to only fly inside the gilded cage but never in the outside world. He will create a stage of the outside world for you, but never the real deal.

Yan! Husband who paints a portrait of you whenever he's stressed over the cases he has to handle. To move the brush without any problem as your form starts to appear on the blank canvas, he has no trouble remembering you. Sculpting is no problem for him as well. He has spent all his lives honing his artistic skill just to eternalize you as pieces of art.

Yan! Husband loves you so much that he deems children as a burden and bothersome (adoptive too). He only needs you to build a family, he had no need for children to continue this lineage. His whole life revolves around you. If you pass away, he too, will pass away shortly after. That's how much he loves you to the point that death cannot separate you two.

Yan! Husband who might not look like he's able to do it but he is actually an S-rank gaslighter. He will trick you into believing that what he is suggesting is only to keep you safe! He doesn't really enjoy taking your autonomy directly unless it's needed (of course, in a way where you will not confront him about it).

Yan! Husband who will cover and remove all your bad track records (if you have any). He has the power and connection to erase any kind of dirt that is on you, you are his pristine pure lily-of-the-valley and you should not be defiled with those records. Live without any worry clouded in your mind dear, the laws will never tarnish your reputation when you have this lawyer backing you ^^

Yan! Husband who adores any sort of physical touch when it comes to you, yes, anything. Even if you hit him silly, he'd still love every moment your skin feels his. He loves hugging you the most, his face buried into the crook of your neck while taking a scent of you.

Yan! Husband who enjoys humming lullaby of yours to the point everyone's ears around him is bleeding from the repeating lullaby. Can this guy please hum something else for once?

Yan! Husband who will read for you whenever he has the time to sleep with you. He doesn't know what to say to you as his work is either foreign to your brain or a tad too shady. Childhood memories are not great too as he has long forgotten about everything the moment he pledges eternal vow to love you. He abandoned everything and lives only for you.

Yan! Husband who prioritizes you as his number one, even above his own well-being and career. He can still live even if he falls ill, his career would never fall out of track as he has the mafia under his grasp, but you can slip out of his grasp. And he doesn't want that to happen again.

Yan! Husband is without a doubt an infamous lawyer. Especially with how many times he has let the ringleader of that renowned mafia group slip out from the prosecutor and judge's grip? If you seriously think you'll be pronounced guilty of that murder, you better throw that thought out just like how he throws all the scapegoats and falsified evidence into the court. (Should I write a fic for this?)

Yan! Husband who will always make time for the two of you. While vacations are not as often as he wishes he could have, cuddles and tea parties sound nice enough for him to kill time with you.

Yan! Husband who has this cute journal that's filled with what you have been doing every day instead of his own daily stuff. Oh, your diary is almost his if you know how he reads it daily like a refreshment.

Yan! Husband who as much as he hates having to show you to the people at the official parties and events he has to attend, he just can't shake away the butterflies in his stomach as well! You are not just some trophy spouse, you are his beloved! A hand on your waist and a face that is seen whispering sweet nothings into your ear with a glass in his other hand. Oh, he looks so o-godly-handsome like a man who comes out from a romance novel!

Yan! Husband who is a man of greed, the embodiment of Mammon. Wealth is not something that he has never not possessed. So whatever the fuck you do, gambling or blowing it off somewhere in a dumb investment or stock, he won't make a fuss out of it. Instead, he'll teach you more about money management instead :/

"Do you want to learn how to invest? I know a way or two from my predecessor."

He will let you play all the money game you want and gives you the illusion of success despite all the trials and errors you made (he's the one who clean up all the mess lol)

I know that this is AFAB! oriented BUT Yan! Husband never wishes to impregnate you even once. No, he doesn't like the idea of you being in pain over a damn baby(ies) that could just take your life as well. He does enjoy fucking you without any protection on but that is after he tracks your safe day (man is literally fighting the fate of having you pregnant). He prefers you to not consume any birth control for just in case it causes harm rather than good to you. (Shots are a pass if you are scared of syringes)

He is A-OK with adopting if you are persistent enough about this matter and is B-OK if you want to get pregnant (AFAB). He just can't refuse and upset you...

So please don't imagine what would happen if darling dies during delivery :)

Yan! Husband who will always open his pocketwatch and kiss the picture of you in his pocket watch. How many times and lives had passed just for him to enjoy the solace of being your husband?

𝐀 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫.

Yulian de Alpheus is a man of ambition. While he does share the same look as his 'father', the ambition he has is the complete opposite of Castiel. Castiel created him to seek the truth of life, Adam existed to be the Genesis of Life, Alan existed to be someone he didn't recognize and Yulian existed to live beneath the shadow of his spouse.

𝐘𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐥��𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Taglist: @vinivave @destructa1 @szde8-blog @luminous011 @ush0 @annbourbon @randomnl @cassanderasblog @maam-appreciator @lem-hhn @fanatic-fan @flesh-eating-ladybug

(send ask/message to be removed from taglist)

[p1astr81]

hey, as a psychology student, I barely see ff involving this area so what if a ff where yn is a psychologist in F1 and she ends up falling for oscar? but you can add some obstacles to make it more interesting haha

for the sake of this, reader is a sports psychologist!

ignore how this lowkey isn’t a psychologists job okay im sorry😭

As part of the sport’s initiate to protect all of its drivers—from Formula 3 to its top competitors in Formula 1–they’ve decided to hire a group of sports psychologists. The group was hired to work track side every weekend, and has their own individual offices in the Formula 1 hospitality. The FIA claimed their hospitality was too full.

You happened to be one of those psychologists.

You spent most days doing absolutely nothing. Most drivers were too embarrassed to pay a visit to any of your offices. Or too conscious of getting caught visiting one and getting blasted on social media.

Some did visit. Particularly the rookies. Lando was the only one to frequent your office. He’d pop in after particularly bad races just to rant to you. He liked how good of a listener you were and how easily you could soothe his worries.

Which is why when he noticed Oscar carry a bit too much tension in his shoulders, he recommended that he pay a visit to you. “One visit wouldn’t hurt.” He reasoned when Oscar was too hesitant.

The next weekend, there was a knock on your door. “Come in,” you called, closing out of your tabs.

“Hi,” you looked up at his quiet voice. Stood as he walked into the room.

“Hi!” You beamed. “Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. There’s snacks, water, take whatever you need.” You gestured to the cart beside the couch and you sat in the chair across from him.

Lando had mentioned how you were nice and a good listener. But he never mentioned how pretty you were, or how infectious your smile was.

“What brings you in?” You didn’t have an intimidating clipboard, nor did you ask him questions like he was in an interrogation room. You also didn’t have those obnoxious overhead lights on. Just the sunlight and a few warm lamps. It was a cozy space.

Oscar leaned into the fluffy sofa, sinking in it like a cloud. “I just feel stressed lately. It’s probably the championship but it’s really having a physical effect on me. I feel really sore lately.”

Still, you smiled. “Have you tried anything to manage the stress? Meditation? Relaxing music? Picking up a hands-on hobby helps a lot of people, too.”

“No.” He said flatly.

“Okay, well trying one of those could help, and I’m always here to talk if you think that might help.”

Oscar definitely thought your talks helped. He’d gone to you almost every single day. Most of the time, he wasn’t even discussing racing. He’d ask you about your life, tell you about his.

And the one day, after a month and a half of ‘sessions’, he’d asked you out for dinner.

He should’ve seen it coming. Your sigh. How you told him I’m sorry, we should keep this professional.

He avoided you for the following three weeks. Three long weeks of his mind plagued by the memories of you. By your laugh. Your smile. Then he decided he’d had enough of his torturous mind.

He went into your office without knocking. “I’m having difficulty focusing on my races because there’s this really cute, nice girl who I can’t stop thinking about, but she doesn’t seem to care about me.” He threw himself onto the sofa like it was another session.

You sighed, finding your usual place in the chair. “I do care about you, Oscar. But we can’t be anything more than-“

“Professional! I know, you’ve said that before.” He grumbled, then sat up. “Why?”

“Why do we have to be professional?”

“Yes!”

“Because we both work for the same people.” You sighed. You were too calm. He envied it. He was breaking down because he couldn’t have what he wanted.

And you were calm.

That should be him. He should be that calm, that composed. It usually came easy to him, but now it was taking everything in him to not get a taste of your lips.

“Last time I checked, you don’t have a contract with Zak brown.” He laughed, pacing the room now.

You tossed him the stress ball you kept on your desk. He took it and sat down, squeezing it like it personally wronged him. “Maybe not, but I can’t date any driver, it’s not just you. It’s not a good look. They’ll fire me for it, I know they will.”

He was thinking quick. “Does it say that in your contract?”

You thought for a moment, then, “no.”

“Then it’s wrongful termination.”

You chewed your lip. Still risky in your mind, but boy were his big brown eyes convincing. You sighed. “Okay. I’ll go to dinner with you.”

“Yes!” He jumped up with a pump of his fist. A bigger victory than you’d ever heard on his radio. “I’ll pick you up uhm- er- Sunday night?”

“Better win then.”

And win he did. Not only the race, but also you.

He married you four years later—and you still had your job in the paddock.

[berrryparfait]

I humbly request a deeper dive on lads as samurai . PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

misty sunsets in edo japan ⋆˚✿˖°

➴ original post: cherry blossoms in edo japan

— ༉‧₊ᐟ featuring: samurai! rafayel, zayne, caleb, xavier, sylus x fem!reader

— ༉‧₊ᐟ premise: you are the sheltered daughter of a powerful clan leader in edo period japan. life in the estate sure would be boring without your samurai to keep you company... 「if you could do everything by yourself, i wouldn't have a reason to exist. ∼ tomoe, kamisama kiss」

— ♫₊ᐟ soundtrack: ad meliora – the charm park

✧ a/n: you asked, i delivered!! but in all seriousness, i was super excited to fulfill this request because...same. i really put my whole samurussy into this one so please enjoy! <3

祁煜 ; RAFAYEL

.✦ sword: image here

.✦ duties: ↳ scaling the walls of enemy fortresses to determine the most discreet way in ↳ stealth missions, during which he eliminates targets quickly and silently ↳ keeping track of enemy-related records, which include headcounts and other estimations

.✦ pastimes: ↳ teasing you and making sure you know just how ticklish you are ↳ reading, especially the romance and fantasy genres ↳ painting beautiful pictures of grand mountains and winding rivers

.✦ core memory #1: You walk into the garden to find it…already occupied. “What are you doing here?” you ask Rafayel, who’s sitting by the pond with a gentle smile on his face. A canvas stands in front of him, and you watch as his slender fingers play a melody that cannot be heard. Here, in this garden, Rafayel is a musician, and the paintbrush in his hand is his instrument. “Just painting the ducks.” A series of quacks sounds from the small body of water next to you, and you laugh at the adorable little ducklings as they try to keep up with their mother’s pace. “All of them? There’s like, a hundred!” He chuckles at you, then replies, “You’re right. I’m painting the littlest one. She’s so cute.” Your eyes travel to the smallest duckling of the pack, and she quacks at you. You’re mine. I’m gonna name you Mephisto. It isn’t until you return a few hours later—after he’s long abandoned his completed canvas—that you look down at the painting and see your face smiling back at you.

.✦ core memory #2: It’s dark outside, but you can’t fall asleep. You need to know he’s okay. He told you he’d come to you the moment he returned, but it’s been hours. The thought of something bad happening to him in the middle of nowhere, with no one around to confirm it, haunts you. As discreetly as possible, you tiptoe around the estate in the hopes of finding him. A trace of him. The sound of someone wincing in pain catches your attention. Your heart skips and you bolt towards the noise, finding yourself behind one of the old weapon shacks. “Raf?” You squint in the darkness, almost yelping out loud when you see him hunched on the ground, streaks of red covering his face and body. “Oh my god, Raf—” He’s badly injured, but he’s managed to bandage most of his wounds by himself. A tired smile graces his lips when he sees you. “One of the guys turned out to be a spy. Enemy clan—” His words come out clipped as you treat the rest of his cuts and bruises, tears threatening to spill from your eyes each time he winces. “He spared my life, but told me to run away and never come back here, so his identity could remain a secret— But I didn’t listen. I came back. I killed him, but it was a pretty fair fight—” He grunts in pain as he gestures to his injuries, a wry smile still plastered across his bloody face. “You idiot! Why on earth would you come back?!” You’re full-on sobbing now, and he gently wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re the idiot. You. I came back for you, Duckling.”

黎深 ; ZAYNE

.✦ sword: image here

.✦ duties: ↳ reporting directly to the clan leader as his right-hand man ↳ embarking on the longest, deadliest missions reserved for only the strongest in and most loyal to the clan ↳ monitoring most major administrative matters

.✦ pastimes: ↳ cooking, which he’s incredibly skilled at ↳ treating the sick and wounded, though he doesn’t receive a single cent in return ↳ silently watching you from afar

.✦ core memory #1: You stop short as a positively exquisite aroma wafts your way. It’s coming from the kitchens, which is to be expected—the head chef is usually cooking dinner at this hour. Maybe you could steal a bite or two if your pleading methods prove to be endearing enough once again. But when you step through the sliding kitchen doors, it isn’t the head chef you see. “Zayne?” you gasp, blinking stupidly at the sight of him stewing something over a small fire. He says nothing at first, and you consider fleeing while you still can, but sharp, icy eyes lock on yours as one foot crosses the threshold. “Not interested in having some for yourself?” Your stomach rumbles so loudly he can probably hear it, and you blush. His lips touch the ladle as he takes a sip of his own, green eyes never leaving yours. He extends the ladle to you, prompting you to drink from that very same spot. Hesitantly, you do.

.✦ core memory #2: It’s your turn to watch him today. You hear him before you see him, labored pants and grunts coming from the secluded training yard in the forest behind the estate. Weaving your way through the thick brush, his lean figure comes into view, sleek lines and strong curves barely illuminated by the silver moonlight. He isn’t wearing a shirt. You hold your breath while admiring his form, ruthless and wild as he strikes the large tree in front of him with a staff. It’s rare to see him lose control like this. Maybe something’s bothering him. Your footsteps reveal your presence before your words do. “What’re you doing out here so late?” He ignores you, but his blows grow harder, more merciless. “You can talk to me, you know.” He stops hitting then, breaths coming out harsh and unsteady. “I killed them. All of them,” he whispers, his features shrouded in darkness. Yesterday’s mission. Your heart pangs for him, imagining the horrors he’s had to face as your father’s most precious subordinate. Tentatively, you ask, “Is that why you help all those people? Why you heal them, and ask for nothing in return?” An act of repentance, perhaps? He says nothing.

以昼 ; CALEB

.✦ sword: image here

.✦ duties: ↳ daily samurai training as a junior ↳ physical and mental exercises that push his body to its limits ↳ guard duty every other night, to prevent intruders from breaking into the estate

.✦ pastimes: ↳ feeding the stray cats that wander around the estate ↳ swimming in the river with his buddies and catching fish with his bare hands ↳ climbing trees to find the best view of the flower fields below

.✦ core memory #1: “You can’t trust him.” Here he goes again. When will he stop badgering you about other guys? “I told you, I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Stop treating me like a child.” He scoffs at your statement like it’s the most absurd statement ever uttered by a human being. An older girl around his age walks up to the two of you, a slight spring in her step. She flirts with him, asking if he’d like to train her one-on-one tonight, which even you know is a euphemism for something else. Something unspeakable. He can’t hide the obvious blush on his face, and you roll your eyes like a little brat. “Let me guess, ‘No one could resist an offer like that?’ Yeah, yeah, go ahead and have your night of fun, dickhead.” He laughs at you, wide-eyed—fully chortles at you while you stare at him with your mouth agape. “Relax, Pipsqueak. I’m supposed to be chilling with you, remember? Who do you take me for?” He looks offended, but you can’t shake the nagging thought that he might just take her up on her offer anyway. (He doesn’t.)

.✦ core memory #2: He’s being all weird again. Why did he take you out here? The wind is howling, sending bits of grass flying into your eyes and mouth. Before you can ask him why you’re both standing in the middle of nowhere, he heaves himself up onto a fat tree branch. “Caleb, what are you—” “Shut up and join me.” You sigh in surrender he lifts you up, his touch searing your skin. Together, you climb higher and higher up the huge tree—though you struggle a little more than he does. When you finally see it, the breath is knocked out of your lungs. “Surprise, Pips.” Streaks of pink and gold pierce the sky as the most majestic sunset you’ve ever seen blankets the horizon. Hues of orange and purple and blue dance across the massive flower field below, flora of every kind rising up to meet them—to glimpse them. For the first time in your life, you’re truly speechless. “So? How do you like the view?” Every corner of the world feels visible from up here. The wind rushes through your hair, caressing your cheeks and eyelashes as if to say goodnight. And Caleb is sitting right next to you. You wish you could bottle this moment and keep it with you forever. “It’s beautiful,” you reply. He’s looking right at you when he whispers, “Yeah… It is.”

星回 ; XAVIER

.✦ sword: image here

.✦ duties: ↳ training the junior samurai, mainly on the physical front ↳ spying on enemy clans and factions by gaining their trust ↳ overseeing the clan’s inventory, which comprises weapons and armor

.✦ pastimes: ↳ tasting the chef’s newest delicacies straight from the kitchens ↳ playing the koto, which he’s…slowly getting better at ↳ taking naps beneath the shade of the old trees

.✦ core memory #1: No, you don’t like him. Yes, you like watching him train the others. Those two things can coexist, and they’re coexisting peacefully right now. Your arms are crossed while you watch him correct a young samurai’s stance, his instructions patient yet firm. He glances over at you before turning back towards the class. “Unimpressed?” he says flatly. You’ve been watching them with a quizzical expression on your face, apparently clear enough for him to notice. “It all just seems like something I could do.” You can’t help it. You’re a spoiled, prickly little brat—dishing out quips is in your nature. The look on his face shifts from uninterested to something darker, cautionary. “You better stay on the sidelines where I can see you. It isn’t your safety I’m worried about, in case that much isn’t clear.” My father. He answers to my father. All at once, you realize you couldn’t care less if Xavier gets in trouble with dear old Dad. You charge into the middle of the yard, headstrong as ever, aiming straight for the weapon racks. What to fail to realize, however, is that the hilt of a sword is headed right for your forehead. With a loud “thud”, you’re knocked senseless onto the ground, your head throbbing and aching and punishing you for being so stupid. Distantly, you feel a pair of gentle arms lift you up and carry you away from the others. Orders are given. Crowds are scattered. Reluctant words of consolation are whispered into your ear.

.✦ core memory #2: The morning sun washes over you as you step outside, elated to feel the warm grass beneath your bare feet. Father finally let you out of the estate today after you’d practically begged him to release you from your cozy prison, assigning you the menial task of finding pears for tonight’s supper. Pear trees, pear trees… You wander aimlessly through the field, getting distracted by songbirds and squirrels along the way— A soft sound emerges from behind the large oak up ahead. An animal? Quietly, you edge towards the source of the small noise, trying your best to make it out… Snoring? Closing the distance, you spot a familiar head of white hair perched against the bark, and the crease between your brows smooths. Your first instinct is to open your mouth to wake him, finding the thought of him glaring at your insolence satisfying. But upon closer inspection… His eyelashes really are quite long. His skin is…delicate, and would probably be nice to touch… He startles awake from your fingers, and you jump back in surprise. It’s too late. You can’t bottom out now. “Uhh… Mind if I join you…?” He doesn’t object. “Just…don’t touch me.” And so you lie there together, bodies stretched out on the grass and heads propped against the bulging roots; and at some point you can’t quite pinpoint, he ends up leaning on your shoulder anyway.

秦彻 ; SYLUS

.✦ sword: image here

.✦ duties: ↳ a lone samurai, his only duty is to himself and his survival ↳ stealing food and weapons from wealthier clans ↳ eliminating those who harm innocents or get in his way

.✦ pastimes: ↳ stargazing and charting the constellations, which interest him profoundly ↳ sharpening and perfecting his blade ↳ sneakily listening to local musical performances (a more recent development)

.✦ core memory #1: You walk along the winding road in comfortable silence, his presence a steady pillar you somehow know you can rely on. You still don’t know much about him; who he is, what his past was like, where he came from—but you’ve come to realize it doesn’t really matter to you anymore. Slowly but surely, you and this mysterious, deadly stranger have forged an unlikely…friendship? Is that what you are? In the distance, a familiar tune begins to play. “Hey, do you hear that?” you ask him, turning towards the music. “Ah. The locals in this village put on performances every other week, though I’ve never stopped to play audience.” A devilish grin pulls at your mouth as you grab him by the arm and drag him towards the festivities. He only resists for a second. It isn’t long before the spirit of the lilting song consumes you both, and you sway together in each other’s arms as it plays on—he, a little stiffly. You were wrong earlier. You want to get to know him more. You need to. It might just be the only way for your soul to breathe. You can’t hide from me anymore. I won’t let you.

.✦ core memory #2: His breath is in your ear as you struggle to remember the “weak spot” he mentioned mere seconds ago, but with your back flush against his chest, you can't focus on anything other than closing the nonexistent distance between you. His lips hover dangerously close to yours, and you swear you just felt his breath hitch. When you fail to strike him in time, he releases you from his grip, the blade in his hand glistening menacingly in the moonlight. His words come out harsh and intimidating. “Again. If you want to become a samurai, you’ll have to live long enough to make it to the—” You cut him off. “Do you care about me?” The question surprises you as much as it does him, vulnerability lacing your words as they force their way to the surface. He pauses, a serious expression on his face. “I care about getting what I want.” Lie. You push on, seeing through him like he’s a wall of glass. “Come back with me,” you begin, your voice wobbly and uncertain, but earnest. “My father will let you live. He’ll even give you a place to stay, at my request. We can train together, and we’ll never be far from each other’s side.” You don’t say the glaring part out loud. You can’t bring yourself to. But deep down, you know he understands. He always does. A long pause. “I can’t, sweetie.” It’s final. You can tell it is. Will you ever be content living like this—meeting in the shadows and sharing secret conversations? Can anyone love someone that much?

— ⋆˙⟡ ©berrryparfait

《 please do not copy / plagiarize / translate my works or publish them on any other platforms. 》

[atlabeth]

take my breath away

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: you help spencer train for his fitness exam. he kind of just wants to kiss you.

a/n: some fluff (and something short) after i broke my own heart (and my brain) in my last hotch fic! i’m truly in my criminal minds era. enjoy

wc: 1.3k

warning(s): reader is a runner so im sorry to my unathletic friends. but this is all fluff

“Spence,” you said, unable to bite back your smile, “how are you this bad at running?” 

“I’m—” he held up a finger as he caught his breath and shook his head. “I’m not bad at running. My form… is perfect.” 

“We barely made it a mile in,” you said, and you chuckled as he keeled over, his hands on his knees. “It can’t be that perfect.” 

“It is,” he insisted, on the edge of wheezing. “I’m just unathletic.” 

“You never did sports as a kid?” 

“I graduated high school at twelve,” Spencer breathed. “I was too busy studying. Reading. Doing anything other than sports.” He looked at you and shook his head. “And I’m not crazy like you.” 

Your smile only grew. “You should put your hands over your head. It helps get more air in.” 

“That’s actually a rumor.” He shook his head again. “When you raise your arms, muscles that contribute… to the bucket handle movement of your ribs—” He heaved a sigh, his brows furrowing, and again, you held back a smile. You were sure this was one of his only weaknesses. “—they’re not able to function properly.” 

“Alright, genius,” you said, mockingly but with love. “Recover however you like. You clearly need it.” 

Spencer pouted as he straightened up, his whole face contorted in discomfort. When your boyfriend asked you to help him train for his upcoming fitness test, you didn’t think much of it—you got a full ride through college because of track, and you keep healthy with morning runs, so you were happy to help. 

You’d thought about straight up offering a myriad of times—mostly after bearing witness to his attempts at running in the field. One time, the two of you were paired up to do some interviews, and it ended in a chase. By the time Spencer caught up, nearly dying on the sidewalk, you already had the unsub subdued and cuffed. 

(It took him a while to live that down with Morgan.)

Spencer was gifted at other things, sure—not just everyone is a classified genius with an eidetic memory, and he’s the youngest recruit in history—and you loved him more than anything. But you couldn’t not make fun of him, just a little bit. 

His face was still red, his glasses fogging up a bit from the humidity, and his hair was a mess, so you moved closer in order to brush the stray strands out of his face. 

“Running isn’t my thing,” he said. “Well— fitness isn’t my thing. I’ve got everything else covered.” 

“Oh yeah?” You started smoothing back the strands of his hair, and you offered a crooked smile. “Then why are we out here trying to improve your mile time?” 

“Because it would be nice if Gideon doesn’t have to get all my fitness stuff waived again, and if I want that, I need the help.” His eyes didn’t leave yours, and once you finished, your hands lingered on his cheeks. You nudged his glasses back up to their spot. “And I think I’d run a marathon and die trying if it meant I got to spend more time with you.” 

Your eyebrows rose. “If you want to run a marathon, I could probably get you there. It would take a lot of time together, though.” 

“Please, no,” Spencer breathed. “Just the time together part.” 

You grinned, and you patted him on the cheek before you pulled away. “Running is good for the soul. Why do you think I’m so happy all the time?” 

“Well, this morning you said you were happy because of me,” he said. “Yesterday, it was because we had our first case-free weekend in two months. The other day—” 

“That coffee I had?” you interrupted. 

He nodded. “How’d you know?” 

“Because you made it for me,” you said, “and I love it when you do that.” 

Spencer shrugged. “You do it all the time for me. It’s only fair.” 

“But that’s proof,” you said. “Running does make you happy.” 

“Running does release endorphins, but anyone who likes it is crazy,” he repeated. 

“That doesn’t sound scientifically backed.” 

“The way I feel right now beats science,” Spencer huffed. “And you’re not happy all the time. You frowned 23 times while writing up your last report.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “You were watching me? And counting?” 

He shrugged. “You’re nice to watch.” 

“Very smooth, Dr. Reid,” you said cloyingly. “But flattery won’t get you out of this.” 

“I’m not trying to get out of anything!” he defended. You stared at him, and he held up his hands. “Okay— only halfway. But you are nice to watch. That’s why I’m still here.”

“If you’re watching me while we run, that might be why you’re doing so badly,” you said, amused. 

“No—I think it’s the only thing keeping me going.”

“You don’t really look like you’re still going,” you said wryly. “You should be good at this. You’ve got long legs.” 

Spencer shook his head as he screwed his eyes shut. He let out one last breathy sigh, and you hoped he’d finally recovered. “Also largely a rumor. It’s more about leg strength compared to bodyweight—long legs help with lengthy strides, but you need to generate enough torque to move faster than with shorter legs.” 

You smiled. “You’ve still got facts? Even while you’re dying?” 

“Mostly because Elle’s said it before too. She says I look like a baby giraffe learning how to walk when I run.” Spencer shook his head again. “I think the only thing my height is good for is getting things off of shelves.” 

For once, you tried to reign in your joking. “Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t want this whole thing to be miserable for you. Running should be fun.” 

“We can stop doing this?” he suggested. “I can let go of what’s left of my pride, get all my fitness stuff waived again, and go back to figuring out cases in an air conditioned conference room?” 

You smiled, and you moved closer. “How about this?” 

Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but you pulled him in for a kiss by the front of his shirt, effectively cutting him off. He hesitated for less than a split second, but his hands fell to your waist as he brought you in closer. 

When you let go and moved away, he still had them there, and he was smiling like an idiot. 

“Does that help?” you asked innocently, tilting your head. 

“Yeah,” Spencer said, nodding rapidly. “Uh— yeah. I actually think I could go for another mile now.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh as you ruffled his hair, messing up your earlier work. “I’d love to test that, pretty boy, but I don’t think you can make it another mile.” 

Spencer shook his head. “If you keep kissing me like that, I think I can make it through that marathon you mentioned.”  

“Sure I don’t take your breath away too badly?” you teased. 

“I have some facts for that, but I don’t think they apply.” His lips curved up, and the redness from exertion mixed with his steadily rising blush. “Because you, uh— you did take my breath away the first time I saw you.” 

“I should start calling you loverboy with material like that,” you mused. “Morgan’s annoyed that I took pretty boy from him.” 

Spencer grimaced. “Just thinking of Morgan seeing me like this makes me want to get back at it. I can’t deal with any more of his teasing.” 

“But my teasing’s okay?” 

He frowned. “Of course. It— it’s kind of why I fell for you.” 

“Ah,” you nodded. “That’s why you’re still at this. You don’t like things being handed to you.” 

His cheeks darkened again, and you laughed as you leaned in to peck him on the lips one more time. 

“Alright, loverboy,” you said. “Ready to get back at it?” 

“No,” he said affirmatively. “But I don’t really have a choice, do I?” 

“Not if you want to pass,” you said wryly, and you gestured back at the trail with your head. “But you know what they say—one step at a time.” 

Spencer grumbled, and he shook his arms out again. “Fine. As long as those steps are with you.” 

You smiled. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” 

[sanakiras]

LIAR, LIAR!

PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader

❝ AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! ❞

WORD COUNT — 13.5k

SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.

TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help

♪ verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you

NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D

[ RETURN TO PART ONE ] ✧˚ · .⋆ ★ [ TWO ]

viii. I LOVE YOU LIKE A DRUG

november has a harsh cold to it that goes right through the skin of your cheeks. with your long black coat and matching gloves, you walk through the city, heading towards your lawyer’s office.

it’s been a few days since you last saw or talked to mingyu. you’ve been thinking about the kiss constantly, unable to stop it from clouding your mind. it’s hard to believe you hated his guts for years and completely changed your opinion on him within months — he took you by surprise on that. which you’re not sure how you feel about.

it’s as if his handprints were etched into your skin. you can still remember exactly how it felt, where they were. more importantly, perhaps, you know what your mind keeps leading to when the memory runs through your head.

that you want nothing more than for him to put his hands on you again. you want him so much that you have to clench your fists and tell yourself to get it together.

the universe must like to mess with you, as you receive a text from him at that exact moment. stopping in your tracks on the street, you’re just about to read it when you feel a hand on your shoulder.

once you’ve looked up from your phone, you see the devil himself standing there with a meek little smile on his face, which has you scoffing when he greets you. “hi.”

his dark hair is slicked back as he sports a thick winter jacket, jeans and black shoes. god, he’s handsome. why is he so annoying?

instead of responding to his greeting, you just speak your mind. “what’re you doing here?”

“chan mentioned you had an appointment in the neighborhood, so here i am. i wanted to see you.”

“why?”

“what, am i not allowed to visit my partner in crime?”

you purse your lips. “i thought we both agreed on discretion regarding our relationship.”

“and what kind of relationship is that?”

“an understanding.” your response comes out colder than anticipated, but you stick with it. “look, gyu, what we did… we probably shouldn’t do it again.”

he seems surprised. and a little disappointed, which he hides very quickly, but not quick enough.

so he pouts at you, doing his best not to dwell on it. “okay. any particular reason?”

you inhale sharply, trying to give him the best possible excuse you can come up with. “we agreed to keep it professional, didn’t we?”

“we did.” he nods, speaking in a way as if he were focusing on something else. “is that all there is to it? or do you have another reason?”

his gaze is playful, which makes you smile as you look down at your feet for a moment. “i’m sure you can fill the blanks.”

“interesting choice of words.”

“god, you’re such a perv.”

mingyu laughs when you punch his shoulder, his hand comfortable on your lower back. you don’t swat it away, utterly contradicting your previous words, but you can’t find it in yourself to care that much.

two days later, you’re over at his apartment, continuing your research where you left off last week, and you’re not sure if you’re imagining things, but it feels like there is a palpable tension in the air. soft rain taps against the windows while you’re looking at some security footage his friend seungkwan sent over about an hour ago.

with the two of you sitting beside eachother as you’re looking at the screen of your laptop, you find it difficult to focus on the footage, because you feel electrified by his mere presence. it’s ridiculous. he accidentally brushes your knee with your hand, and you feel a rush going through your body. a candle is lit on the table — his tan skin looks beyond beautiful, his brown eyes piercing through yours like never before.

you want him.

you. want. him. and no one else.

it’s driving you nuts, and as if he can read your mind, he begins to talk about it.

“i haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss.”

while the footage keeps playing in the background, you bite your lip, sucking in a breath. “gyu.” you say his name in a near scolding manner.

“do you like me?” he suddenly turns his head to face you, which feels borderline intrusive. like he’s able to see everything that’s going on in your head and heart.

it steals your breath, making your voice sound somewhat strained as a result, and you can’t even bring yourself to lie about it any longer. “i might.”

“i like you. a lot.” he says, and when you think he’s getting closer to you, you stand up from your seat, doing whatever you need to do to get it back together. you don’t want him to know how you really feel, so you clench your fists in your place, your back facing him.

“what does it matter? we’re nothing more than partners. that’s all there is to it.”

as you shake your head to yourself, he gets up as well, moving to stand behind you. “is that why you kissed me?”

“it was just the heat of the moment.”

“you’re a good liar — but not that good.” mingyu shamelessly eyes your body up and down, and when you look over your shoulder, he meets your gaze with something that appears to resemble pride, in a way.

arrogance, perhaps.

for whatever reason, that ticks something off in you. “you want me to be honest? fine. i don’t want to like you, mingyu. i didn’t want to enjoy that kiss. i’ve spent years hating you to the bone, and changing that opinion on you feels like betraying myself.”

he blinks at your sudden and blunt confession, but it’s honest and clear to him.

then he nods in understanding.

“just… hypothetically, if i said i wanted to kiss you again, what would you do?”

you notice a clear difference in his tone, his breathing, his eyes dropping down to your lips — oh, he’s fucking turned on. he knows you want him as badly as he wants you. you both know it.

“i’d tell you it was a one-time thing.”

he gets closer to you, eyelids hanging low and the hint of that damn smirk tugging at his mouth. “how about one more? for good measure. just to get our rocks off.”

the proposition is almost laughable, yet you selfishly find yourself agreeing. “just once?”

“just once.” the palm of his hand cups your jaw, and you know you’re done for when you lean in first, causing him to smile triumphantly right before his lips lock with yours.

this is what you’ve both been yearning for the past week. now that you have it, it feels like drugs, almost — addicting.

you kiss him with vigor, and his tongue slips into your mouth, leaving you aching for more. it’s when his hand pulls you closer by your waist that you force yourself to back away from him, both you and him gasping for air.

“gyu, we were supposed to—”

“keep things professional, i know,” he breathes out, his forehead resting against yours as if he has to make the biggest decision of his life, “but i don’t want to anymore.”

his hands are still on your waist, trailing down to the flesh of your upper legs, and he squeezes it, feeling sick at the idea of someone touching you there that’s not him.

“need you so bad. please — let me touch you.”

looking at his desperate form for a moment, you internally decide to go for whatever your body wants — and that’s to have him tonight.

so you roll your eyes, pulling him to you by his black t-shirt, your hands on the back of his neck before he can comprehend it. he hoists you up by the back of your thighs, taking you to his spacious bedroom.

your back touches the soft bed within seconds. his hands continue to glide up and down your body, and he subtly puts his one hand underneath the hem of your shirt, fingers touching your warm skin, and you almost forget to breathe.

mingyu feels your fingers pulling at the waistband of his jeans, and he relishes in how eager you are. he kisses your neck and moves lower painfully slowly, causing you to writhe underneath him, because you need him now.

it’s certainly a first for you to have such a need and desperation to fuck someone. and for him, of all people. if you had known about this in the morning, you wouldn’t have believed it.

but then again, the tension has been brewing between you two for years, reaching its highest point over the last couple weeks.

maybe he was onto something when he suggested for you to fuck him back in the strip club.

his lips are touching your bare stomach, and you show a hint of dominance by undoing the buttons of your pants and shoving down your panties, putting your hand on his head to guide it between your legs.

and he just lets you.

he takes your pants and underwear from your ankles and discards the pieces on the floor, hands on the back of your thighs once more as he pushes them to lean over his shoulders.

the first few seconds are spent basking in his excitement. his heart races when he looks you in the eye, and he grins to himself before diving in.

for some reason, he feels this primal urge to prove himself to you, to make you feel good like no one ever has before.

whatever the hell it is that made him have such a massive change of heart, he doesn’t know.

but he does know one thing — he worships the ground you walk on.

so to hear you gasp and whine for him when he eats you out only spurs him on to keep going, to make it dirtier and messier and keep having you moan his name.

mingyu encourages you to pull on his hair, and with each strand being pulled, he grows harder in his pants. he moans at the pain, humming against your pussy while his tongue is buried inside you.

you’re grinding against his face and he hums again, loving the feeling. “rub it in my face, baby, ‘s so good—” he babbles as his cock is rock-hard and throbbing against the fabric of his jeans, and he rubs his hard-on against the matress to get any kind of friction.

over the course of the years, even while hating him, you wondered if he was good in bed.

you didn’t think your question was going to be answered by first-hand experience.

he’s not only sickeningly good at providing pleasure — he seems to get off on it, too. your fingers clamp on his long strands of hair, thighs around his head, almost suffocating him, and even when you hit your first climax, he just keeps going. his tongue moves as if you’re not completely crumbling before him.

with a sudden sensitivity hitting you, you have to pull his face from your pussy, and he looks at you with lust-blown eyes and your wetness smeared over his lips and chin.

yeah, you fucking like him. jesus.

the little fang-shaped teeth he has show themselves when he grins at the mess he’s made of you. “want me to go again?”

“would you?”

“i’d keep going for hours if that’s what you want.”

pressing your lips together, you inhale deeply, ‘cause he looks like he means it, too. “well, as great as that sounds, i want you in me. now.”

he would’ve had a damn field trip eating you out again, but he certainly won’t complain, because he’s about to bust in his pants from just looking at you. his eyes return to your figure when you take your shirt off, dick twitching when you unclasp your lacy bra and show your completely bare body to him.

“are you just gonna keep staring?” you ask teasingly, and he needs a few seconds to get his brain running again, chuckling at your words before he removes his own clothes, pushing you back to lay you down.

“can’t help that i like what i see.”

you’re about to give him a witty retort in return when you feel the tip of his cock at the entrance of your hole, pushing forward just the slightest bit, and your lashes flutter at the sensation. he bites his lower lip at the feeling, a sudden intensity hitting the both of you.

then he pushes himself inside, inch by inch, achingly slowly. your brows scrunch together and you throw your head back, manicured nails digging into his bedsheets.

“hah—gyu—” you mumble, tension setting into your shoulderblades as he stretches you open, and you’re so tight that he feels just as suffocated as you do.

“fuck, you’re fucking tight.” he huffs out, utterly savoring your wetness wrapping around him. “can i keep going?”

at hearing the question, a breathy laugh escapes you. “how fucking big are you to have to ask that?”

“well, ‘m only halfway in right now, baby.”

fucking hell. the look on your face is borderline horrified, because jesus, you’re gonna need to adjust to him.

he lowers his chest to hover above yours, and your hands immediately move to his back, nails aching to dig into his skin. he’s only focused on your face now, and he pushes himself in all the way, watching your face contort in pain and pleasure.

your body stiffens for a second before it relaxes, and he has to hold down the urge to start moving. “that’s it. took me all the way in,” he mutters, and you nod to yourself, accidentally clamping down on him, at which he groans.

the first movements are small, slow — gentle. you release long, dragged-out moans that are the single hottest thing he’s ever heard. but he needs more, needs to get rid of the little voice in his head to fuck you hard and stupid.

he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back in, and the erotic whine you let out is just too good to his ears.

so he does it again, again, again. he fucks you to the point a different part of him takes over, ruthlessly seeking the pleasure and pain that gets him off like nothing else. he likes it fast, hard, and deep, and by the looks of it, you do too.

you’re clinging onto him with every thrust, every kiss, every moan, and he loves it.

mingyu moans, eyebrows knitted together as he’s hypnotized by the feeling of himself sheathed all the way inside you. “take it — take my fucking cock.”

“mhm. a little harder — please?” you beg, and if he wasn’t in love with you yet, he certainly is now. how on earth do you look as gorgeous as you do whilst half fucked-out, still needing more?

naturally, he gives in to you, doing whatever you ask of him. he fucks you harder, his grip on your waist tightening with each thrust.

you come to one conclusion — you don’t think anyone’s ever fucked you this good.

his mouth latches onto your tits, sucking at your nipples, and you bring his head up to kiss him again. it’s sloppy, and his movements begin to slow a little, your wetness dripping down his cock. “god, you’re fucking perfect.”

“want more, gyu. i want you to cum in me.”

“you—” he stutters out, “you want it?”

nodding at him, you even push yourself against him, his cock sinking just a little deeper into you.

so he fucks you as hard as he can until he feels himself hitting that blissful climax, continuing to roll his hips and stuff you as full of him as possible. then he sits up with a thin layer of cold sweat on his back, and he pulls himself out as slowly as he entered you, watching drops of cum seep out of your hole.

“so much for professional.” you breathe out, after which you both chuckle, and he leans in to kiss you again, and you get on top of him, taking charge, and he shivers in anticipation.

the night becomes an increasing blur with every kiss, every touch, every thrust — it’s hard to say what time it is or how many times you’ve gone at it when you finally let yourself sink into a deep sleep.

when you wake up beside him in the morning, you watch his sleeping form, your heart flutters.

it’s bizarre how he’s made you feel a kind of love you didn’t even know existed before. a feeling of great complexity and intensity that’s settled deep into your gut whenever he’s near.

as if he’s become a part of you that you can’t let go.

checking your phone, you know it’s time to get up, since you’ve got an important agenda today. yet when you try to silently slip away from his bed, you feel a warm hand on yours.

“don’t go.” he pleads, his voice lower and raspier than usual from sleeping. there’s a certain desperation in his now open eyes, and it affects you.

“i have to. appointments i can’t cancel, you know what that’s like—”

but he’s not talking about your day.

“i’m afraid of people leaving me,” he suddenly admits with a shaky tone, “and i like what we have. i like you. i guess i’m scared that… this was just a one-time thing, ‘cause it wasn’t for me. i don’t want to go back to what we were before all of this.”

processing his words, you nod, touching his cheek, reassuring him. “it wasn’t a one-time thing for me, either. you have me, i promise.”

“okay.” he gently smiles at you, his fingers caressing yours, and you lean in to press a kiss onto his lips, which he immediately reciprocates.

you give him a quick goodbye after putting your clothes on, and he’s left smiling to himself in bed while you walk out of his apartment with the same expression.

but you should know by now that all good things come to an end — one way or another.

ix. WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?

the two weeks since your first time sleeping together have been nothing but excitingly ignorant bliss. in between his meetings and family commitments and your meetings regarding your father’s business relations, you’ve been meeting eachother in the middle at every opportunity, the investigation of your father’s death fading into the background bit by bit, getting lowered on your list of priorities.

none of your friends are aware of your relationship — since it’s a secret, and neither of you have really labelled it yet — as far as you know, anyway.

being with him is comfortable to you, and surprisingly enough, he’s the first person who’s made you feel like you could breathe properly after the chaos that your father’s death caused.

“do you really have to go out at this hour?”

“yeah, unfortunately.” he presses a kiss to your lips before pulling his shirt on while you’re still naked on his bed. “i’ll be back as soon as i can, but you don’t have to wait for me, okay? it’s probably gonna take a while.”

with a sigh, you nod, pouting a little. “okay. i’ll probably go take a shower and head home after.”

he kisses the top of your head this time, and it all feels awfully domestic.

but it’s a good feeling.

mingyu takes in the sight of your bare face and body covered in nothing but his sheets, and he feels like things were meant to be like this. like you two were always indirectly tied together, and now this is your reality.

“you’re allowed to stay as long as you want. i’ll call you later, baby, yeah?” he hums against your lips, and you nod, wanting nothing more than to pull his shirt off and drag him back into bed with you.

“mhm. you should go, or you’ll be late.”

he chuckles, his mouth grazing the top of your hand before he exits the room, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving you alone in his apartment.

after taking a short nap, you decide to get up and take a quick shower.

this might be the first time you’re completely on your own in his place — so you feel like checking out what he’s got lying around here.

it’s not because you don’t trust him, truly. you just like to snoop around a little, out of curiosity.

you peek into his drawers, his closet, his personal things, except for what he’s got kept under lock and key.

what intrigues you are the clear scratches on the floor by the cupboard. everything in his apartment is perfectly clean and clearly well taken care of, so this makes you raise a brow.

you figure the scratches were made by moving the cupboard to the side, so you do the same thing, trying to see if there’s a particular reason for it.

it’s hard to contain a scoff once you lay your eyes on what is apparently hiding behind it.

a safe hidden behind a cupboard. seriously? did he take inspiration from your father’s office or something? this is starting to get a bit weird.

the safe seems to require a code with six digits to be unlocked, and since the system and mechanics seem on the older side, you doubt it would send off any signals if someone tried out a wrong code.

biting your lip, you give in to your curiosity, and try out a few codes.

a popular choice for codes are always birthdays, often loved ones, and since mingyu is a complete softie in that regard, you figure it might be worth trying out.

you remember his father’s birthday from the tombstone at the graveyard where your father was buried as well. his mother celebrated her birthday last week, so that’s easy.

unfortunately, neither of the codes work.

fuck, what was his sister’s birthday again? you don’t remember. then an idea pops up in your head – she probably made a birthday post on social media at some point. you search the username and scan her profile, and within a minute, you’ve found it.

with your phone in hand, eyes going from the screen to the rotating dials, you enter the code, and the sound of a clicking lock causes your heartbeat to quicken.

it worked.

throwing your phone onto the bed, you open the safe, several items catching your eye.

there’s quite some things in there considering it’s such a small space. some stacks of money, a few vials with clear liquids in them, a gun, a passport with his photo but a different name — what the fuck is this? his backup plan to start a new life in case he needs it? that’s close to paranoid, especially for a guy who seemingly has no enemies.

behind the piles of dollar bills, you find a few old-fashioned cassette recorders stacked up, each of them numbered from one to ten.

as your curiosity gets the better of you once more, you take the recorders out of the safe and put them on the floor, where you sit down to listen to whatever’s on them.

you click the button at the back of the device, noise beginning to crack through the small speaker.

“i know recording myself confessing to something as grave as this could be my downfall, but… it’s something i need to get off my chest. i need to.” your hear him inhale sharply. “i’m setting a plan in motion that will lead to someone’s death. it’s not something i’m proud of, but he’s threatening my family. i don’t know what else to do.”

your eyes widen as you listen to the rest of the tape. he’s talking about killing your father, using a poison to take him out. once it’s finished, you look for the second tape with shaky fingers.

“getting it done shouldn’t be hard. the real issue is having an alibi, and if necessary, i need someone to put the blame on. the death of someone as important as him will draw attention, so should they assume he didn’t die of natural causes, they’re gonna want to convict someone. i can only think of one person who fits the criteria — his daughter.”

it’s like the confirmation you’ve been waiting for. this is what he’s been hiding all this time. of course he didn’t want to help you without an ulterior motive.

your heart breaks the moment he says it. just how much of a fool have you been?

“we’ve always hated eachother. looking back, i’m not sure how it started, but it did. she’s the only one who could have a solid motive. i don’t want to frame her, or anyone for that matter, but if the police decide it’s not an accident, i’ll have no other choice. maybe her lawyer can find a way around it.”

tape three.

“the plan is to pretend i have a lead on the killer when i’m actually planting fake evidence to make her seem like the culprit. i talked to her in the graveyard today, but she completely lashed out at me. it’s hard to tell who she hates more — me, her father, or herself. though i didn't know her hatred for me ran this deep, nor that she was this lonely. i kind of feel for her.”

tape four.

“she just agreed to be my date to the gala next week, though she's certainly not thrilled about it. understandably so, i guess. she's quite intimidating when she’s mad. maybe i should take notes, seeing how she always stands so firmly on business.”

tape five.

“i didn’t think she’d go as far as to go through my room. she’s more determined than i gave her credit for. god, i could barely keep it together when she said whoever killed her father did her a favor. it’s maybe the only good thing about this whole mess. i wanted to scream, tell her that it was me who did her that favor.”

tape six.

“leave it to her to interrupt a stripper’s lap dance and take me with her instead. the man taking money out of her father’s account was hired by me — i needed to subtly prove to her that it couldn’t have been me, ‘cause i was at the other side of the city when it happened. i was curious to see if she’d take the bait, and she did. she mentioned something about wanting someone who would let her be… uninhibited. it scared and surprised me; mostly because i want the exact same.”

tape seven.

“we broke into her father’s office together. it was… thrilling. exciting. she keeps surprising me with how daring she is. somewhere underneath that hard surface hides someone who’s aching for adventure, i think. maybe we’re more similar than i thought. and she’s so clever, i just—i like her. like, platonically, of course. we work well together. i should probably be more careful, try not to get too close. who knows what that might lead to.”

tape eight.

“i kissed her. i fucking kissed her. well, she kissed me first, but… i kept it going. not just a little peck, no, a full-on makeout session. it was… the type of kiss they talk about in the romance novels. i’ve never felt that big of a need to kiss someone before. and she’s so gorgeous, too. i wonder if she’s thinking about it as much as i am right now.”

tape nine.

“wonwoo says i have feelings for her, in a way. i… i feel like there’s no going back if i acknowledge it. but there's something about her, it's like... i'm not sure. like she and i are on the same wavelength. we’re so different yet so similar.”

tape ten.

“the police are tightening their grip. they wanna name the culprit, and fast. i’ve thought of turning myself in, but i’ll ruin the family name if i do that. my mom and sister will be cast out if that happens. and then there’s… her. god, she’s become so special to me. i can’t go through with it — i can’t. the idea of losing her makes me feel suffocated. fuck, i don’t know what to do.”

and just like that, you close your eyes for a moment.

everything falls into place.

putting the final tape to the side, your cheeks are wet from the tears that have been silently rolling down your cheeks ever since you hit the first play button.

he doesn’t really like you — of course he doesn’t. he’s just using you for his own gain, to cover up his crime.

it’s then that the heavy sobs come out. you utterly fall apart, feeling weak and manipulated and alone.

terrifyingly alone, more than ever before.

but you force yourself to stop crying by telling yourself that you won’t allow him to use you anymore. you need to be steps ahead of him now that he’s not aware of you knowing this information, so you wipe your tears away and play all the tapes again, but this time with your phone making recordings of each one of them.

overcome by your emotions, you feel ready to throw up.

whatever you’re about to do, it’ll probably come back to bite you in the ass later, but you don’t care. not anymore. everything’s already gone to hell anyways.

when mingyu arrives at his apartment a few hours later, it’s empty. he frowns when noticing that your clothes and things you had lying around are all gone, but shrugs it off, believing you probably had a good reason for taking them back home.

but when he calls you the next day, you don’t pick up. you don’t answer any of his texts. your staff by the gate tells him that no visitors are allowed into the driveway, meaning he can’t even get to your front door anymore.

something’s happened. he just doesn’t know what.

long after he’s had his dinner, the rain comes pouring down from the dark clouds in the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance as you make your way to the front door of mingyu’s apartment.

he instantly notices something is very wrong once he lays eyes on you. you look like you’ve just gone through hell and back.

you let yourself in before he can say anything, so he closes the door behind you, confusion painted across his face. “i’ve been calling you — what’s going on? did something happen?”

oh, the question immediately pisses you off even more than you already are. this is about to be fun. “well, you’d know.” you grumble.

“know what?”

“that you killed my fucking father.”

the words strike like lightning. you finding out about the truth certainly wasn’t part of the plan, and since you seem so convinced, he doesn’t have much faith in trying to convince you of his innocence.

when his surprised expression fades, you finally see the truth written all over his face. his jaw is clenched tight, lips pressed together into a thin line, and he suddenly looks very guilty. “how… how did you find out?”

“the tapes. who the fuck records their own confession to murder? were you trying to get me to find out?” you rhetorically ask, eyes blazing fire.

mingyu huffs to himself. he knew he shouldn’t have kept those tapes — fuck.

“look, i—” he swallows, attempting to mend the situation, but you don’t let him speak.

“no. you’re going to tell me exactly what you did and why you did it. you owe me that much.”

he flinches, closing his eyes for a moment, lowering his head, his way of showing he accepts his defeat. “your dad… i always thought he wanted me around because he liked me, but after all those years, that turned out to be a lie. i found out he was blackmailing my mom with evidence of my father’s wrongdoings before his passing — fraud, embezzlement, all of that. we’re talking millions of dollars here. the damage it would’ve done to my family if that ever came out… it’s something i had to prevent. hell, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one behind my dad’s car accident. so i did what i thought was necessary.”

you can only scoff. “of course. how noble of you.”

“i’m sorry.” he tells you, but it’s a lie. your father was a despicable man, loved by no one. not really, anyway.

“if you’re going to lie to me, at least do it well.” you scold him, turning away from him for a moment, looking at the rain outside through the large windows of his apartment. “how did you kill him? i wanna hear you say it.”

“can’t we talk about—”

interrupting him, you turn around, the pistol from his safe in your hand, and it’s pointed at him. he anxiously awaits your next move.

“don’t make me ask again. i don’t particularly feel like repeating myself.”

he shudders at the view of the gun pointed at him, but does what you tell him to. “i poisoned him. he had no idea, didn’t suspect me at all. i told him to go home, so he’d die there.”

“where i would be, too. perfect plan, huh?”

“the plan was to make it look like a death from natural causes. the poison would be out of his system by the time the authorities were to perform the autopsy on his body — but then they found him dangling from the ceiling instead. that wasn’t my doing, so i figured the poison got to him to the point he wanted a quicker way out. you were there, with a reasonable motive. i panicked and made a choice.”

inhaling sharply, your eye twitches. “you chose to frame me.”

“i was going to.”

“oh, give me a break. don’t start acting like you care about me, now.”

“except i do. it was different in the beginning — but then i just—i didn’t remember why i hated you. i couldn’t even fathom a possible reason to. i started liking being around you, and you felt it too. i know you did, you said it yourself.” he pleads, getting closer to you, not giving a damn that the barrel of the gun is touching his chest at this point.

a tear escapes your eye, but your anger is still there. “you know what the thing is, mingyu? i don’t even care that you killed him. hell, if you had come to me after our interrogations and confessed that it was you, i would’ve thanked you. what i care about is that you took advantage of me when i was vulnerable, and that you made me feel like i mattered to you when you were all just doing it for your own gain.”

it’s like you’ve ripped his heart out of his chest. he wishes he could make you understand that you’ve made him feel more alive than anyone he’s ever met, that you’ve grown to mean so much to him in a ridiculously short span of time. that he’d go to hell and back to protect you now.

“you matter to me. more than anyone else.”

all you can do is let out a sarcastic fit of laughter; you don’t trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. “i need you to tell me something. did you sleep with me because you actually wanted to or because you felt like you had to in order to manipulate me to get closer to you?”

he seems appalled at what you’re implying. “of course i wanted to. all i ended up wanting was you—”

“don’t you fucking lie to me!” you burst out angrily, at which he flinches, but his frustration brings him to confess his true feelings.

“it’s not a lie, because i’m in love with you!” he raises his voice in desperation, “i don’t care if you shoot me right here, right now. it won’t change how i feel about you.”

your heart shatters even more, because he sounds so genuine, yet it doesn’t make you feel the way it should.

the words should probably bring some kind of twisted comfort, but they feel like a gut punch instead. you grab your chest to stop yourself from hyperventilating. “at least i was right at the beginning. the golden boy is a fucking murderer. you’ve played your part well, i gotta admit.”

he watches you breathily laugh and cry at him, and all he can do is stare back at you with teary eyes and a guilty face.

“please don’t say that.”

“why? does it hurt, hearing the truth?”

“i swear to you—”

you shut him up by pushing him backwards with the pistol against his chest. “you know, when you bothered me after the funeral, when i had my breakdown, i wanted nothing more than to cave in your skull with a rock. looking back, i should’ve just done it. would’ve spared me this whole mess.”

surprisingly enough, you simply put the pistol back in your jacket pocket, but mingyu is just as if not more afraid of you. your gaze is the harshest, coldest, meanest he’s ever seen it. all you do is look at him and he crumbles.

and yet he still wants you. he knows you hate him to the bone, you detest every part of him, and he still. wants. you.

and he intends to show you that, because he’s willing to throw every last shred of pride and dignity he has let out the window if it means you’ll show him you want him even the smallest bit. “i’ll prove it to you. if you ask me to turn myself in, i’ll turn myself in. i’ll do it, for you.”

god, he seems so genuine in it, too.

your breaths are ragged, and you feel like you need to get literally anywhere else, out of the suffocation that is this room with him in it. you barely even noticed he’d taken a hold of your hand until now.

“i can’t do this. just—just let me leave.”

he does.

the moment the door slams shut behind you, he has to grab the nearest object to hold himself up, leaving him wondering what the hell just happened.

x. WHEN IS A MONSTER NOT A MONSTER?

the following days are spent anxiously pacing in his apartment. what is he supposed to do? what should he say to you? what should he tell the press, that he’s innocent? guilty? what should he tell his family? that he killed a man to protect them and their reputation? would they even look him in the eye if he confessed?

he waits and waits and waits for his arrest to come, for the police to barge into his home and take him away to a cold, dark prison cell — yet the day never comes.

personally, he wonders if you’re waiting it out to make you feel as shitty as you’ve probably been feeling since the day you discovered his true colors.

nearly a week after the fight between you, he decides he can’t take it anymore. he needs to see you.

you doubt you’ve ever felt as miserable as you’ve felt these past days. it’s like you’re torn between hating mingyu for taking advantage of you and hating yourself for being stupid enough to fall for it. to fall for him.

because no matter how much you want to deny it, you did.

something you desperately needed was a distraction, which is why you ended up accepting wonwoo’s invitation to the event his father is hosting tonight at his estate just outside the city. with your little black dress on and hair perfectly styled, you down a glass of champagne next to wonwoo, who looks a bit concerned. “everything okay?”

the noise of chatter and soft music in the background only overwhelms you more. “yeah. i just… haven’t had alcohol in a while.” you mutter a bullshit excuse, not really caring whether you sound believable or not.

“i get it if you don’t feel like being here right now, with everything that happened recently. i can take you home if you want.”

“and miss out on your father’s celebration?”

“there will always be another one.” wonwoo shrugs, looking at you like nothing else in the room matters. he has a little smile playing on his lips that’s far too gentle — you almost feel undeserving of a gaze that loving.

but you don’t hold eye contact with him for long, because the source of all your current problems suddenly walks into the room — and he looks good. criminally good.

the red suit with its low neckline draws even more attention to him than usual, along with several expensive pieces of jewelry adorning his wrists and fingers.

“he’s here? that’s strange. he said he wasn’t coming.” wonwoo mumbles, and you do your best to keep your composure and hide the sudden anxiety that blooms in your chest.

“shame. the party was just getting good.” you scoff to yourself, replacing your empty champagne glass with a full one.

it’s then that mingyu’s eyes find yours, and even while politely saying hello to the elders greeting him, he keeps sneaking a peek your way, as if to try to get away from the people surrounding him to get to you.

oh, fuck no. you’re not in the mood to talk to him right now.

“i’m just gonna go and use the restroom, okay? i’ll be right back.” you say to wonwoo, hoping to find yourself a spot in the shadows where you can properly get some air.

you hardly catch his response as your legs are already moving on their own, as far away from the man in red as possible.

passing through a quiet hallway, you find yourself finally alone at the bottom of a staircase, and with no one else around, you sit down on the first few steps, a sigh escaping your mouth.

“did my appearance surprise you?”

as you recognize his voice, your blood runs cold.

looking behind you, he’s standing at the top of the stairs, his hands in his pockets. he appears surprisingly relaxed, even if his fingers slightly tremble against the fabric of his trousers.

“you have some nerve showing up here.”

mingyu purses his lips. “why don’t you come up a couple steps?”

when you finally meet his gaze, his heart skips a beat. your brows are knitted together. “why would i do that?”

“because we’d be on the same level. equals.”

“is that what you want?”

“i think you already know the answer to that.”

biting your lip to yourself, you get up on your feet, heels clicking on the creaking wood with each step. once at his level, you look at him with hostility – he only shows intrigue.

“why haven’t you given me up yet? it’s been a week.”

“i have my reasons.” you shrug, the anger remaining in your features. “what? scared i’ll ruin your reputation?”

his tone suddenly changes into something more desperate, emotional. “i just want to know what you’re gonna do. if you wanna turn me over to the police, fine. but do something, please—”

“you’re not in a position to be making demands.”

“i’m not demanding, i’m asking.”

“go fuck yourself, mingyu.” you snap at him, looking around you before lowering your voice. “what did you think was going to happen when you came here tonight? that i would just let you in on everything? the last thing i owe you is an explanation.”

as the tension continues to rise between you, the argument causes you to step closer to eachother.

his chest heaves out of frustration, because you make a more than valid point, but he still has his own interests at heart. “i know that.”

“so then why show up tonight? don’t bullshit me, i know you’re not here for wonwoo.”

“are you? what are you doing here?”

“what the hell is your problem?” scoffing at him, you intend to push him by his chest, but he grabs your wrists instead.

“you are my problem.” he breathes out angrily as if he were confessing his sins, his hands remaining on your skin. “everything fell apart because of you.”

“if you’re actually trying to pin this on me, i’ll hit you in your fucking jaw until it bleeds.”

he only pulls you closer. “and i’d let you. do you still not get it?”

his grip on your wrists falters, and he softly rubs over your skin with his finger, and you hate your body for reacting to it.

christ, you think to yourself, has he been standing this close to you this whole time?

the smell of his perfume plagues your senses, and a feeling you can’t quite place washes over you when you catch him looking at your lips, and you realize his one hand is slowly gliding past your waist.

are you really going to let yourself fall into his trap again?

“everything okay?”

the words aren’t uttered by you nor mingyu — wonwoo peers up at you from your former spot at the bottom of the stairs.

of course he’s been sensing that there was something going on between you the moment you showed up at the strip club, but this clearly confuses him, since you’re still supposed to hate one another.

fuck. how much of the conversation did he hear?

mingyu hesitantly releases his hands from your body, and you take a step backwards, both of you focusing on wonwoo. “yeah, i’m fine.”

as if to make the situation even worse, the fucking inspector that’s leading the investigation appears behind wonwoo, curiously looking at his two main suspects standing side by side.

the situation feels suffocating. wonwoo points at the older man, “he was looking for you. that’s why i came to see if you were here — i didn’t know you were, um — occupied.”

“i’m not occupied.” with the way you completely disregard mingyu’s existence, it’s almost as if he weren’t even here. you make your way down the steps, smoothening over the fabric of your dress and taking a deep breath to get a hold of yourself again.

the inspector glances at mingyu one last time before asking you if he can talk to you privately, which you agree to.

mere minutes later, you’re standing in a secluded room, far away from the rest of the crowd, arms crossed over your chest, a dim light flickering on the ceiling above you.

“i wanted to talk about the investigation.”

“talking to me off-record again? this isn’t a good look on you.” you sneer at the man, who puts up his hands before his chest.

“i know. but it’s for a good reason.” he defends himself, at which you frown. “i have a proposition for you.”

“which is?”

“i need your help catching the person who killed your father.”

pursing your lips together, you let out a bitter chuckle. “like i would know anything—”

“you were just speaking to him, actually.”

the weight of his words makes your eyes widen. this is the first time he’s expressing who he believes is the culprit, after all these weeks.

your breath hitches in your throat. “you think mingyu is guilty.”

the inspector nods at the conclusion you’ve drawn. “he’s smart, i’ll give him that. but not invincible.”

“what will you do? do you have evidence against him?”

“i have enough that makes me sure that it was him, but not enough to defeat him in court. he’s rich and uses that to his advantage.” he explains, sounding almost hopeful. “so that’s where you come in.”

“me?”

“what i need is evidence that even he can’t work around, no matter how many people in the system he chooses to bribe. you told me the nature of your relationship was sexual — i don’t need to know if that’s true or not. but i’ve noticed he seems fond of you these days. you can use that to get him caught. we can’t let him get away with it.”

his voice rings through your ears, sounding like a convincing whisper. biting down on your tongue, you clench your fists, the predicament you currently find yourself in making you wish the ground would just swallow you whole.

you subtly glance down at your phone for a moment.

the evidence is right there, on the phone in your hand. you’ve recorded all the tapes with your phone — the confession, murder weapon — it’s all the evidence needed. you could give it right now and everything would be over.

yet not a single word comes out of your mouth.

the inspector sighs, offering you a final sentiment. “be careful with him. people can be deceiving.”

and with that, he exits the room, leaving you alone with the voice in your head.

your next moves are crucial. you know what you’re about to do is risky, but it’ll be worth it. it has to be worth it.

once you’ve left the inside of the estate through the backdoor, the event continues for the evening while you ponder over the choice you’re about to make in the backseat of the cab.

shrugging off your coat as you enter your home, you still in your movements when your eyes find the stairs — the spot where the police had to cut down your father’s cold, dead body.

with your gaze remaining on the former crime scene, you press on mingyu’s number to call it.

he picks up faster than lightning, but you don’t allow him to speak.

“meet me in the city tomorrow. 10:30, outside your mother’s firm. don’t be late.”

you hang up right after.

fuck, you should really sell this place. the fact that your father’s wandered around here is more than enough reason.

that he died here as well isn’t great either, but that’s really a minor detail.

with your arms crossed, you scoff, a half-smile that’s almost smug sitting on your face. “if only your death had welcomed us sooner.”

the next morning, you lean your head against the wall of the building you’re meeting at, a cold wind blowing through your hair as you’re sunken deeply into thought.

it’s comfortably quiet, honestly. you’re fond of this type of weather, the white, grey-ish sky, the breeze in the air, some rain on occasion.

you glance at the watch on your wrist — why the fuck is mingyu still not here? what possible reason could he have to be late when this is what he was practically begging for?

just as you’re about to grab your phone from your pocket to call him, someone pulls you by your arm and drags you into the alley beside the building.

“what the fuck!?” you huff out, and then you finally get a good look at the person who grabbed you.

of course it’s him.

“i’m sorry.” mingyu breathes out, his usually neatly styled hair now messy, several strands hanging loose in front of his forehead, the stress visible in his features.

to be together like this feels messy yet weirdly intimate. a few strands of your hair are caught between your lips, and you feel his breath on your face, his hands on your body, even your hands find their way back to him.

as if it’s natural.

“what the hell are you thinking?!” you hiss at him, pushing his hands off you, backing yourself as far up against the wall as possible.

“someone was following me, i was — i thought you’d lured me here to turn me in.”

“you—” is all you can push out of your throat before a sigh leaves you. of course he’d think that. god, what a mess.

burying your face in your hands, it feels like you’re both on the verge of a complete breakdown. both lost, not sure where to go, not sure what’ll happen next.

you thought you’d found a sense of direction in eachother, but that fell apart like a house of cards hit by the wind.

naturally, it begins to rain right when you’re talking to him outside. sighing to yourself, you gesture for him to come with you to your car in the half-empty parking lot, which he wordlessly agrees with.

it’s pouring by the time you’re both seated, the heavy rain rolling down the glass windows of the car.

it’s completely silent between you as you sit beside one another, staring dead ahead at the street.

your voice is hoarse when you tell him your verdict on the matter.

“we’re gonna cover it up.”

mingyu turns his head to look at you in disbelief, but you don’t move a muscle. “… what?”

“i believe i’ve told you i don’t like to repeat myself.”

“no one in their right mind would do that. no one would help me cover it up.” he exhales, eyes moving rapidly as he tries to process what you’re proposing to him.

“no one in their right mind would commit murder, either, but that certainly didn’t stop you.”

well, you have a point there.

“just tell me one thing,” mingyu asks, hoping you’ll look at him, “why? why do this for me?”

he could cry the moment you do meet his eyes. it’s like he sees a different version of himself staring back at him. “because you did the right thing. i would’ve done the same. well, except for your little affair with me.”

with his heart beating against his chest, he gently touches your hand. “everything i told you was true. it may not have been real in the beginning, and i’m sorry for pretending back then, but it’s real now. i swear that to you.”

you bite your lip. “give me one good reason why i should believe you.”

mingyu can taste his tears at this point. he needs you to believe him, he needs you — and that is terrifying but addictive. “the tapes. you can have them if you want.”

“i don’t need them. they hold no value to me.” you already made copies of them anyway.

“then what can i give you to prove myself?”

“nothing.” you immediately cut him off, eyes blazing fire, but even mingyu can see you do share that sadness that he does, mourning the loss of your connection. “from now on, we avoid contact over the phone as much as possible. you’ll destroy the tapes, the poison — get rid of all of it. we’ll work together until we’ve covered it up, and after that, it’ll be like whatever we had never existed. we’ll be nothing more than strangers to one another.”

“how on earth would we go back to strangers after what we did?”

“by never talking to eachother again.” you respond, swallowing the rising lump in your throat, fingers twitching from feeling suffocated. “get out. you can come over to my place tomorrow, and we’ll… figure out how to handle everything.”

mingyu looks at you, and he knows you won’t let him in again, certainly not now. so he nods.

he thinks of what to say, yet nothing comes out.

so he leaves you in your car without saying another word, walking away with nothing but his mistakes on his mind.

xi. I HATE YOU LIKE MY OWN REFLECTION

“so, what do we do now?”

“our best shot is to try to frame someone else, then take them out of prison after the conviction and pay ‘em good money for it.”

mingyu cocks a brow at your choice. “so you wanna go and do the exact same thing i wanted to do?”

you can’t help but glare at him. “yes, just without the manipulation. don’t think for a second i’ve forgiven you, or that i will in the nearby future, because i can assure you that won’t happen.”

well, so much for trying to get into your good graces again. “noted. so, how do we, um… find a suitable victim? someone who won’t rat us out.”

“my contact in the police force has sent me a list of all the other suspects. we pick someone, threaten to kill them if they don’t cooperate. easy.”

mingyu finds your lack of filter both intriguing and scary, like a switch was flipped and you’re suddenly ready to undertake even more violent measures than him. but then again, he was hiding quite some things too. “okay.”

it’s two days later when you’re holding a now former member of the housekeeping hostage in your spacious private parking garage.

“you can’t make me do this! this is insane!” he cries out, and you roll your eyes, holding the gun in your hand as easily as you’d carry a bottle of water.

you simply shrug. “it’s not impossible.”

“i’ll lose everything!”

“probably. but you’ll also gain a lot of money, enough to get you a comfortable life elsewhere in the world.”

“no, no, i’m not doing this. you can’t make me!”

mingyu looks to you for permission, you grant it with a nod, and he takes your gun to hit the guy in the face with it. you sink down to bend your knees, lowering to your victim’s level.

“i don’t think you get it. either you agree to do this, or you’re not making it out of these walls alive. trust me, if i have to shoot you, i will.” you sternly tell him, attitude changing from casual to threatening.

your partner in crime, who’s still holding the gun, is beyond impressed. he briefly thinks it over — has this part of you always been hiding underneath the surface?

“or maybe it’s your family i should start with? i’ll pick it apart, one by one.” you suggest, feigning innocence in your voice.

it’s then that the man is finally forced to accept your offer, after which you smile triumphantly and tell him he can go home like nothing happened. mingyu watches the change in your behavior, leaving him wondering how the hell you’re the same person he’s come to know over the past months.

but it hardly changes his now deeply-rooted affection for you.

a few days later, you’ve successfully orchestrated your plan and set it in motion, with the man from housekeeping supposedly coming forward with his confession tomorrow.

it’s late at night when mingyu’s still over at your house, and he asks if he can open the bottle of vodka standing on the counter.

“sure. whatever.” you mutter, the stand-offish demeanor you used to hold up around him before getting to know him having returned.

he doesn’t like it. no, scratch that — he can’t stand it.

so he pours you both a shot. “i’ve been thinking about something.”

“well, that must’ve been exhausting for you.”

hilarious. really. he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “in the car, you said i did the right thing. that you would’ve done the same.”

“and?”

“do you really not… hate me for killing him? at all?”

“no.”

“you hate me for… lying to you about it.”

“no.”

his brows knit together. “so…”

“again, don’t take this as a compliment, but i really thought you were smarter than this.”

“i’m just… confused on your stance on the whole thing. that’s all.”

taking a breath, a bitter chuckle leaves your mouth. “i hate it when people make fun of me, like — that’s the worst thing you could do to me. and you tried to get to know me, work with me, pretended to care for me, all while secretly knowing that it wasn’t genuine and you were going to put me in prison. and after i found out, it felt like you were just ridiculing me, for… i don’t know. giving in to you so easily. for being desperate to have at least one person actually care about me the way i thought you did.”

he processes your words with the heavy burden of guilt weighing on his shoulders, while you take another shot of alcohol.

well, he fucked up. miserably.

“when i created the plan to frame you, i… almost held a grudge towards you, like you did to me, for a reason i couldn’t even think of. i was going to be putting someone i hated in prison. a sacrifice i was willing to make for the people i loved. but you completely blew me away. as time progressed, i… couldn’t fathom i used to hate you, or even disliked you. even if you don’t accept my apology, i need you to know that i never… never made fun of you. and i’m sorry for hurting you in the way that i did.”

his heartfelt sentiment gets to you, and you hate it.

“even if i did accept your apology, what then? we’ll just move on with our lives as if this whole thing never happened either way.”

now that you’ve unintentionally given him a sense of hope, he downs another shot of vodka to give himself courage. “it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“what?”

“i still want you.” he breathes out, mentally saying fuck it and deciding to finally be completely honest with you.

the words seem to have caught you off-guard, after which you scoff at him once you realize what he’s saying. “you’re not serious.”

“i am,” he replies without hesitation, following you in your tracks when you stand up, “and you know what i think? you still like me, too.”

“no i don’t.”

now that you’ve turned around to him, you realize how stupid of a move it was to do so. with every step he takes forward, you go back, but there’s only so much room before you hit the wall. “you’re not being very convincing.”

“gyu—”

“i like it when you call me that.”

at a loss for words, you look behind you to find you’re nearly out of space. “i don’t like you.”

“and here i thought we were both being honest with eachother.”

god, all he does is look at you and you feel willing to let him touch you again. he made you feel so good — you liked him so much.

mingyu feels it. he sees you fighting with yourself in your head, so he figures all you need is just a little push to get you back where he had you, to be able to kiss you and hold you and call you his.

with his left hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and within a second, he’s pushed his mouth against yours.

fuck, it’s been only two long weeks since he last kissed you, but it felt like forever. this feeling, his touch — you doubt you’d ever be able to feel that with anyone else.

but something in you is still fighting back.

you muster the will to push mingyu away, and he licks his lips from the gloss on yours. both of you panting heavily, you shake your head. “no. we’re not doing this.”

“what? something we both want?” he breathes out, chest heaving up and down.

“something we shouldn’t.”

“why not?”

“because i’d never forgive myself for giving in to the guy who was gonna frame me for murder.”

he merely shrugs, downplaying the situation for his selfish interests. “we hated each other back then. you’d have done it too, you said it yourself.”

his words are true — but it still hurts.

“you’re a liar.” you say to him, and he knows you’re only saying it for one reason — to convince yourself to not give in to what you really want.

“yeah. and so are you.”

that is what momentarily causes your brain to shut down. “what?”

his hand cups your jaw. you can feel his breath on your bare skin, his gaze on your body, shamelessly checking you out before he meets your eyes again. “what we had was real. you make everyone else in my life seem like… nothing.”

“oh, so i’m special, huh? or are you just trying to get back into my good graces so i don’t rat you out?”

his eyes keep lingering on the skin of your cheeks, your neck, exposed collarbones, and he doesn’t even look you in the eye while answering. “you can do whatever you want. i’ll still want you once i’ve gotten out of prison.”

god. he’s really that into you?

“gyu…” you mutter, almost pouting, and he holds your face, nodding as if he understands.

“i know, i know—” his breathing is unsteady as he confesses every dirty little sin on his conscience, “i like being a little selfish, y’know? even when one of my friends mentioned something about liking you, i didn’t tell you, ‘cause i wanted you.”

you’ve got a feeling who he’s talking about. “so what’d you say to him?”

“i said you had something going on with someone else, which wasn’t exactly a lie, since you were on top of me that same night.” he barely allows himself to finish the sentence before kissing you again, putting all his vigor into it, and you decide to indulge both him and yourself this once.

he pushes you up against the wall, and you shove him away again, holding onto the cupboard beside you when you both catch your breath.

“what if i like him better than you?”

“you wouldn’t.”

“why? ‘cause you’re so likeable?”

“because he’d never accept you for who you really are, and you’d find him boring,” he tells you as a possessive streak overcomes him, “just like no other girl would ever want me and i only want you.”

“so i should let you have me because no one else will. what a compelling argument.”

“no. because you want me.” fucking hell, he’s pretty sure his sex drive has never been this high before. “so have me, baby. please — i’m all yours.” he rasps, pressing a kiss so chaste to your lips, they barely touch. his hands burn on your skin.

“maybe i will.” you mumble, which elicits the smallest smirk from him.

he rubs up against you. “you make me insane.”

“pretty sure you already were.” is the last thing you say before kissing him, finally giving in to the feelings you still hold for him.

the sudden motion takes him by surprise, but he regains his composure to kiss you back within seconds. you make him feel so sickeningly good, he practically worships the ground you walk on.

mingyu is always tactile, be it with his friends, family, or in this case — you. his hands are practically glued to your body, pulling you as close to him as possible.

and normally he likes to take his time when it comes to sex. but he’s just so hot right now that he needs some kind of friction, some kind of release. so he lifts you up to take you to your bedroom, where he wastes no time to plunge his fingers into you.

“fuck—gyu—”

this is all he wants. to hear you moan his name like that and watch you writhe underneath him while his cock throbs as he rubs it against the bed.

“you look so pretty like this.” he grins, curling his fingers to watch you squirm and feel you clench around him.

jesus, his pace is high. higher than any other time he’s done this before. the pressure in your stomach builds so fast that you’re almost overwhelmed by the feeling, at which you instinctively reach down to hold his wrist, but to no avail, because he keeps going.

“say you like me back and i’ll make you cum.”

even through the pleasure he’s giving you, you manage to pull your mean attitude back up. “are you that desperate?”

not only does he seem completely unaffected by the snark in your voice — he might even like it.

“so what if i am?” he shrugs, his fingers moving in and out of you while he kisses and sucks on the skin of your neck.

when he moves onto your jaw, he suddenly hits the right spot inside you, and your eyes roll back, a dragged-out moan escaping you.

“bet that feels good, hm?” he whispers, his fangs showing when he smiles slyly, “c’mon — say it. i’ll make you feel so good, baby.”

right after the words come out of his mouth, he threatens to take his fingers out, and you grab his wrist once more, this time to keep him as close as possible.

“fine — i like you.”

like a war general who just won his greatest battle, he’s beaming at your confession. “good. put your legs over my shoulders.”

well, he certainly is determined. he’s back in his previous position in no-time, now with your legs up, and you try to not clench your thighs around his head too much as his digits piston in and out of your hole.

your orgasm hits you within what feels like a minute, and mingyu keeps going even when your legs are shaking and trembling on his shoulders.

the drag of his cock inside you is heavenly. he’s a big man, and you always need to adjust yourself to him, but fuck is it good.

you always like the slower strokes best, he’s learned. slow and deep, to make you feel every inch of him, and he can bury himself in you to the hilt every single time.

“god, you’re always so tight.” he has to suck through gritted teeth to not completely lose it, ‘cause you’re clenching down on him so much that it almost hurts.

“that’s ‘cause you don’t fuck me enough.”

“we should fix that, then.” he responds, sliding his cock in and out of the pooling wetness between your legs, and as the minutes go by, you continue to find yourself in his arms, your body plastered on his.

it’s the ringing of your phone from the nightstand that pulls you out of the erotic haze.

mingyu turns his head to the side, the dark strands of hair hanging beside his head as he’s still hovering above you.

his chest still heaves when he picks up the device to show you the caller id. “you never did tell me what he wanted to talk to you about.”

all you can do is chuckle — a sound that comes across as if you know more than he does. “he’s onto you. thinks you’re guilty. not far from the truth, is he?”

throwing your phone to the other side of the bed, he pushes himself a little deeper into you, loving the way you have to bite your lip to suppress a whimper. “and he wanted you to give him evidence, i bet.”

“he did.”

“did you?”

“since you still have the freedom to fuck me — take a wild guess.”

this time it’s him who lets out an arrogant laugh. “i knew you liked me too much.”

“i could still do it, y’know.”

“oh, i know you could.” he bites his lower lip before kissing you so vigorously again — as if you’re the air he breathes.

xii. ROUGH HEWN BY UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, AND GIVEN BREATH BY NECESSITY

with the noise of the fireplace crackling, you stand by the window of your mansion’s spacious living room, staring outside as you’re anxiously rubbing your fingers over your collarbone.

the man you and mingyu forced to act like he was guilty of murdering your father has supposedly confessed yesterday morning, and yet you’ve still heard nothing. which is strange.

extremely strange.

“they could still be interrogating him.” mingyu tries to ease both your and his own nerves, but you shake your head, your back still facing him.

“something’s wrong. if it were convincing enough, i would’ve heard something. fuck.”

he gets up from the soft couch to wrap his arms around you from behind. “we just gotta be a little more patient. the guy knows what’s at stake should he mess it up.”

letting out a sigh, you nod. “yeah, i guess you’re right.”

just when he’s pressed a kiss on the top of your head, the doorbell rings — whoever that may be.

mingyu remains in his spot by the window while you go ahead to check who’s visiting you. your breath is almost stolen completely from you once you see who it is.

“coming to visit me at this hour?”

the inspector gives you a fake smile in return. “it’s important.”

so you let him in, keeping up the nonchalance in your attitude. mingyu raises a brow at the older man walking into the room, and he crosses his arms over his chest.

“i had someone coming into the station yesterday — one of your father’s former staff. he confessed to the murder.” the inspector begins. “unfortunately for him, i said i’d already figured out who the culprit was, and so i sent him back home.”

“someone confessed and you didn’t think about telling us?” mingyu questions angrily, and you really have to force yourself not to show how impressed you are with his acting skills.

the other man in the room is less impressed. “why would i tell you something you’re already aware of? you orchestrated it.”

oh, shit.

as your eyes widen, it’s quiet for a moment.

“i really hope you have actual proof to back this accusation.” mingyu sneers, clearly hostile towards the man while you silently take a few steps back, slowly hiding yourself more in the shadows by the walls.

“traces of poison were found in the reports of the autopsy. it was disregarded at first because of the small amount, but i eventually began to consider it evidence when i discovered you recently purchased that exact formula from a dealer who’s been on our radar for a while.”

the hairs on your neck suddenly stand upright. is this it? is the person you’ve grown so attached to actually going to get arrested?

“thing is, if i were to arrest you, you’d probably be let go. i know you both have contacts in the police force as well as the justice system, i almost caught someone messing with the autopsy results — but despite that, i know the truth.” the man nods to himself. “and that is, mr. kim, that the only charge against you is attempted murder.”

mingyu seems confused. “attempted?”

“the poison didn’t kill him. you’re guilty of something, definitely, but you’re no murderer.” the inspector’s gaze suddenly shifts from your partner to you, a deep frown setting into your forehead. “the only player in this game that wasn’t making any sense to me was you.”

“me?”

“you know, in my many years in this line of work, i’ve found it a rarity to have a suspect possessing such an… inscrutible expectant stillness. the gears in your head are constantly turning, but no one’s really sure what it is that goes up in there. you’re an enigma.” he says to you, and you listen to him with a raised brow.

as you remain silent, he continues. “at the event a few weeks ago, when i spoke with you, i came to you and told you i suspected him to be the culprit — the man you’ve hated from day one. the opportunity to make him go away was practically given to you, yet you did nothing with it.”

scoffing at him in disbelief, you tilt your head. “that’s all you have against me? baseless speculation?”

“not exactly baseless. see, the autopsy report showed one more thing — he was choked before the hanging. your father was unconscious before you put that rope around his neck.”

it’s so quiet, you’re pretty sure the two men in the room are able to hear your heartbeat at this point.

mingyu turns to look at you with a puzzled expression, and you finally decide to drop the façade you’ve upheld for so long.

“oh, so what?” you shrug, finding the accusation bothersome at best.

the sudden change in demeanor catches mingyu completely off-guard. he can’t fully comprehend what’s going on here. “you—you killed him?”

you press your lips together. “whatever you used on him wasn’t enough to kill him, but it was enough to make him violent. he came home that night just—fucking losing it. stumbling over everything, his eyes were all red, and he yelled at me because he thought i was the one who poisoned him. ‘cause naturally, he’d never suspect you. my father was one to hit me on the cheek whenever he was really angry with me, but he’d never gone further than that. the poison must’ve worked him up so much that he lost rational thinking. so he began to accuse me of trying to kill him, after which he tried to choke me, but i managed to throw him off, and he passed out. and i figured it’d been enough of his torture, so… i hung him in the stairwell to make it seem like a suicide.”

the inspector nods knowingly. “you murdered him in cold blood.”

you’re quick to respond with your defense, though you don’t really care anymore. “did you not hear the part where he tried to kill me?”

mingyu looks like a kicked puppy when he processes your confession. “so you’ve been lying to me this whole time?”

the words elicit a scoff. “that’s real bold, coming from you.”

“but you—you agreed to help me figure out who your father’s killer was. why would you do that if you did it?”

“at first i didn’t, as you know, but you were just so fucking persistent. so i figured i could try to divert your attention from me. i was going to convince you that it was a suicide. then i hear the tapes, you admitting that you poisoned him, and everything made sense. but hey, at least i wasn’t trying to frame you.”

the jab directed at him makes him feel guilty again. “so we both did it.”

“in a way. though i’d argue it was somewhat self-defense. i mean, he came onto me, tried to kill me—”

“you made a mistake and you know it.” the inspector interrupts, making you roll your eyes as he scolds you. “you should’ve called the police. but you didn’t, you just decided to hang him instead!”

“he deserved it!” you retort, displaying the clear hatred you’ve always felt towards anyone who tried to defend the man who raised you. “i don’t care what you think. and you said it yourself — i have everyone in the justice system on my payroll, if necessary. threatening to kill a family member or two also works like a charm.”

it’s silent for a few seconds after you’ve revealed this side of your true nature, and the man just stares you in the eye before grabbing a device from his backpocket.

when he clicks on the button, you already know what it is.

he recorded the whole conversation, and you already know he can’t be bribed, so this is a real problem — because it’s the one piece of evidence needed that will destroy you both.

“you do realize how stupid it was to come here alone, right?” you ask rhetorically.

“what, will you kill me too?” he asks, and when both you and mingyu deadpan a stare at him, he knows the answer.

he’s not getting out of this room alive unless he forfeits the recording.

when you and your partner in crime exchange a glance, the inspector attempts to make a run for it, only to be tackled by mingyu once he’s reached the door.

one last sacrifice.

the sound of a blade piercing through skin makes you jump, your fingers twitching.

blood begins to trickle down his body, after which mingyu pulls out the knife and pushes it in once more, higher up in the chest this time.

“oh, jesus—fuck!” you gasp to yourself when you feel the bloodsplatters hitting your face and neck, and mingyu rips the blade from the inspector’s body, letting it fall onto the carpeted floor.

you both stare at the freshly created crime scene, and you pinch the bridge of your nose, mostly just annoyed at having another crime on your hands.

“well, that is unfortunate.” mingyu sighs, after which you press your lips together, looking up at him.

“understatement of the year. did you have to stab him that quick?”

“sweetheart, he would’ve locked us both away if i didn’t.”

“i guess so.” locking the front door to ensure no one can enter, you cross your arms. “so. are we burning, burying or dumping him in a lake?”

mingyu stares at the body on the floor before locking eyes with you, and it’s like making a silent deal — that you’re in this mess together, and only together can you come out of it, as bloody and violent that road may turn out to be.

well, at the end of the day, you suppose your father was right about one little thing.

you and kim mingyu are, indeed, good together. just not in the exact way he imagined.

after all, love can exist even in the murderous heart.

thanks for reading! let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[princessbrunette]

⊹ ᜊ(ᜊ ´ ˘)੭ ♡ … PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ♡

track two of the short n’sweet series. pairing: criminal!jj x reader — based loosely off the song please please please by sabrina carpenter. enjoy! ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა

you knew what you were getting into, getting involved with an ex-convict and all.

it’s not that jj didn’t treat you well. no, he spoiled you in all the ways he could no matter how unconventional that might be. you’re talking bouquets of flowers he’d so clearly stolen from the gas station, pulling guns on guys that hit on you and threatening to ‘blast their freaking eyes out’ when they’d merely asked for your number, producing a wad of random cash when the nail lady asked if he wanted to pay contactless for your new set of nails. you figured he was trying his best, romantic in a way he knew how to be.

what you absolutely couldn’t take however, way the random disappearing acts. it was jj maybank you’re talking about here — you knew he’d be reckless and fly off the handle sometimes and you were pretty well equipped for that, infact that dangerous attitude was one of the things that drew you to him in the first place oddly enough. but every sunday, like clockwork the blonde would come up with some half ass excuse and disappear through the entire night, only to arrive home in the morning with pockets stuffed with cash. it made you anxious. whatever he was doing, whatever he was lying to you about — you wanted it to stop. don’t make me the girl who’s man goes back to jail and i still stick around, because i will— but it’s embarrassing— you beg to no one in your diary. you try and muster up the courage to ask jj about his doings, but each time you even toe in that direction he gets defensive, shaking his head with a little irritated scowl.

“look, i look after you right? tha’s all that matters mama. papa j’s got it figured out, you don’t need t’worry all the damn time.”

you wanted to trust that things would be fine, you really did.

he’d had a long week, and yet still when sunday rolled around you uneasily watched your boyfriend zipping up his hoodie ready to depart to wherever the hell it was he’d go to make all that money. you had a bad feeling, anxiety thrumming in the base of your stomach that something was going to happen tonight. you couldn’t let him go.

“jayj i jus— i just want you to— c’mon jay i have a fun idea, let’s just… let’s just stay inside!” you whine, verging on tears as you paw at him. his quick patience be damned, you were an emotional wreck and you needed him to listen.

“i gotta. you don’t get it.” he huffs, but even he doesn’t sound convinced, eyes lingering on you as you subtly pull your tank top down to let more of your titties spill out. that whiny tone in your voice usually meant one thing, and that one thing the two of you had been too busy to do that week.

“if y’need money i can give you some. whatever you need.” you wanted to yell at yourself to stand up, but trying everything was definitely on the cards. he scoffs, the provider in him repulsed by the idea and he gently grips your jaw between his thumb and pointer finger for a moment.

“what kinda fuck ass boyfriend would i be then, huh?” he brushes it off, but your pout remains.

“i need you. you can’t go. i need you.” it comes out all as one breath, and now— now you have his attention.

“that right sweetie?” he drawls, tongue in his cheek as he stops his movement towards the door to face you down, eyebrow twitching up in anticipation. keeping your desperate eyes on his, you stride back infront of him and all but fall to your knees, shaky hands going for his belt.

“please, please-please— as long as you need it. want it all night” you plead, and now he’s smiling — all big and malicious like a wolf as he thinks about using your throat, all thoughts of criminal activities becoming a memory.

he scrubs a hand down his face in deliberation before getting to work on his belt.

“ah alright.” he shrugs with a mischievous little chuckle. “for you, pretty thing? anything.”

the money could wait.

[justtwofriendsinmyhondacivic]

IT tech x poly 141 | 1.9k words

Multi part series

Chapter 1 (Unedited)

a/n: this is just a rough draft seeing if anyone would be interested in something like this! Let me know if I should continue it.

cw: mentions of violence, afab reader, inaccurate military descriptions, poly relationships, 18+ MDNI!!!, NSFW, soap and Gaz are down bad, MxM, handjobs, oral m!receiving (let me know if I missed any)

…

When the file first landed on Captain Price’s desk, he sighed, knitting his brows together.

The previous IT guy had gotten too comfortable around the group and let more than a few derogatory comments slide towards the group, mostly about them being together. Which ended in Ghost and Soap almost killing him.

They were in the process of trying to find a new person to fill the spot. Kyle can only do so much while having to be in the field.

But Kate had one woman in mind.

You.

You had an impressive file. Not only are you a good IT tech, but you also are cleared for in field work if needed.

But in the back of John's mind he was skeptical. He and the boys had a different type of relationship after being together for so long. That alone was very different from other task forces. Especially with them being men, many people get very disrespectful about it in the military.

But Kate informed him that all of these aspects have been disclosed and you were still prepared to be assigned to this group for a long term assignment. So he agreed.

…

All the men in 141 sat in the conference room, awaiting the new IT tech they were assigned. They all felt the same hesitation, especially with how the last one ended. Ghost has been bouncing his leg up and down repeatedly, not only was he hesitant he was frustrated.

He knew Gaz had his hands full even without trying to keep up with the IT department.

Soap and Gaz are excited, they like to meet new people, but they don’t know if you’re going to be able to handle the whole package.

And John was just tired.

All eyes snapped to the door as they heard the door squeak open. Greeting Laswell as she walked in.

And then you.

You felt all eyes in the room zoom in on you.

The perfectly clean combat boots, along with fresh ironed fatigues. You had your fatigue coat off and draped over your duffle bag, giving them a good view of your surprisingly strong upper body. You were toned, more toned than just an IT tech should be. Their eyes tracked the confident position of your stance.

Then over your chest.

Appreciatively over the skin of your throat.

And finally your face. They take in the confident look in your eye. And the slight grin on your face.

Ghost zero’s in and takes everything to memory.

Hair from the slicked bun coming loose to frame your face, he counted the freckles that danced down your face and to the crook of your neck. Taking in the color of your eyes and the glint in them as you glanced over all of them.

Matching him.

Normally they get a man, someone who is anywhere but the gym. Most of them were excited.

But Ghost wasn’t. Of course he found you attractive, and hopefully capable, but he knew that could complicate things.

“Boys, this is your new IT tech.” Kate raised her hand gesturing at you, “She’s cleared to be in the field and remote.”

You held your confident facial expression as you introduced yourself.

They took note of your accent and how calm you sounded.

Soap practically had hearts in his eyes as he stared at you, immediately jumping up to shake your hand. Gaz followed with an easy smile stretching on his face, as he shook your hand.

A chill ran up his spine as your cold hand entered his, and as you maintained confident eye contact.

Price then shook your hand.

“Good to meet you, Captain.” Your voice was confident, you were used to being shipped around to other teams and fitting within different dynamics. But this was new, Kate mentioned they were all in a relationship together and the quickest way to be booted out was to be disrespectful about it.

“Likewise, Kid.” He greeted warmly. They all had significant height on you, even with you being five foot six. But that wouldn’t be as apparent until Ghost stood up.

Ghost towered over the majority of people, but you felt the stretch in your neck as you held eye contact with him.

He didn’t address you, just nodded his head at you. You returned the sentiment as you knew men this high up in groups whose names were redacted in official documents were closed off.

“Tha’ there is Lieutenant Ghost. Not a big talker.” Gaz informed, gesturing to the unit behind him.

“ ‘s fine.” You nodded.

Captain Price motioned for you to sit, you followed quickly as these seats look more comfortable than the airplane you were just on.

“I’ll let you guys get along. Price, keep me informed.” She nodded at you, earning a small smile from you.

“Yes ma’am.” He says to her back.

He turns back to the team and you, as Laswell makes her way, shutting the door quietly. Subtly he noted the look ghost was giving you, the weary curiosity and something else he couldn’t place. The others settled into their seats and looked up at Price waiting.

“Alright, since you’re cleared for field missions we are going to have you join our training in the morning.” You crossed your arms, giving Price your attention.

Soap salivated, happily dragging his eyes all over your chest and arms, always the dirty dog. His eyes slid over to Kyles. They shared a look together knowing they both felt the same attraction.

“We start at 0700, you have full access to the gym and common rooms of the barracks. Before you join training we need you to demonstrate your knowledge of weapon handling. This is all to evaluate how we can have you in our squad during ops, that will be at 0530.” You nodded.

“Copy. Do I have full access to servers on base? I need to see what I’m working with.” You asked, you want to run full scopes on what needed to be changed, and where potential risks are with their system.

“You have full access, but that isn’t a concern right now. We need you to rest for tomorrow.” He said, he leaned back and looked at you. You could tell by the tone in his voice that it wasn’t a request. You nodded at him.

“I’ll show you to your barracks. Boys, go get some shut eye.” He nodded at you to follow him. You gave them a small wave as you left. Giving the men time to look over your backside.

…

The walk to your room was quiet, John showing you to the common rooms and then stopping at your door. He ended up reiterating all of the details in the meeting. You just nodded quietly.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” Waiting to be dismissed, you watch as he crosses his arms, muscles bulging under his shirt.

“Call me John, go an’ get some sleep-“ he looked down the hall, seeing ghost slip through the hallway out of your sight, “Ya got a busy mornin’ ahead of you.”

“Sounds good, thank you-“ smiling at him, twisting the door knob.

“G’night”

Price watched you walk in, taking his time lingering in front of your door.

He felt Ghost's presence behind him, turning his head to look up at the masked face. He knew that he was watching from afar.

Price grabbed Ghost by his belt loop dragging him to the barracks. Shutting the door behind them.

“Ya don’t have ta’ stalk the poor lass.” John sighed, he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable knowing you’re one of the few women on base.

Ghost grunted, shrugging at the older man. He held eye contact, saying everything he needed to say by the look he was giving Price.

“Words, Si.” Price sighed out, running a hand down his face.

“Don’ like it.” Walking over to his Captain, leaning his head on his shoulder. Price ran a hand up and down his back.

“I know, but ya’ need to give it a chance-“ he fully embraced the large man, “Who knows, she may be a good fit.”

Ghost nodded, nuzzling into the warm skin of John's neck.

“Let’s get ya’ to bed, Si.” He pushed Ghost back into the room towards the bed.

Getting in he helped take Ghost's shoes and mask off before doing the same, and laying down.

“Lord knows what the other muppets are doing.”

…

As soon as you and price walked away Ghost started tailing them. Wanting to watch you in movement, unaware of his presence. Leaving the happier two alone. As soon as the door to the conference room closed Soap pounced, bending to meet Kyle's mouth in a clash of teeth and heavy breaths.

After a moment, Kyle gripped the hair of his mohawk that was at the back of his skull and pulled Soap away. Far enough so he could stand and attack the pale Scot’s throat with his teeth, leaving red marks in his wake.

“Fucken righ’ bird, tha’ one.” Soap panted out. Groaning as Kyle bit into his pulse point. Both shamelessly grinding their bulges together. Maybe it was because of the ops they were just on or the excitement of seeing a pretty woman, maybe both, but they were both pretty pent up.

“Fuck.” Gaz hid his grunts in the flesh he had his teeth in, Soap taking the opportunity to run his hands down Kyle's front gripping his strong body before finding his belt. They ripped both belts open in record time, as grunts filled the empty conference room.

Soap spit on his hand and gripped Kyle's hard length, paying special attention to all of the spots he knows will rile Gaz up.

“Oh fuck, Johnny.” He grunted, the sound of the needy tone in his voice went straight to Soap's cock.

Gaz did the same grabbing and pumping at the same pace that was set on him.

Soap closed the gap and hungrily started kissing Kyle. They swallowed each other's moans, speeding up the pace of their hands. The hand in Soaps Mohawk gripped harder as Gaz felt his climax come closer, noises getting louder and louder.

Soap knew he wasn’t going to last that much longer, picking up the pace he felt their weeping tips touch and he started to fall over the edge, “Gaz, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He said breaking the kiss they were sharing. Drips of sweat fell from the nape of his neck.

“Keep going love, don’t stop-“ He panted, leaning into the pale man’s hand. Soap leaned in a licked at the corner of his mouth.

“Kyle, please” Seeing soap start to tremble, knowing neither of them are going to last much longer, “Do it, cum all over me Johnny” Soap nodded, throwing his head back.

Soaps muscles clamped up, letting out a moan he felt his cum shoot on his knuckles and over Kyle's angry red cock.

Yanking soaps head back he slipped his tongue in his mouth, capturing him in a sinful kiss to keep the both of them quiet.

Soap bit into his bottom lip sucking it into his mouth, as Kyle whined in his mouth. Soap using his own cum as lube and squeezed.

Kyle's legs almost buckled as thick white ropes started to cover soaps softened length. Soap pumped him through his orgasm, as he shook violently. Panting in each other's mouths, they stayed standing using each other as support.

Soap smirked looking down at Kyle's cock, covered in his own spend, and dropped to his knees.

“Soap, what are you doing?” Kyle said, trying to push him off.

“Cleaning ya’, stay still” soap said as he pushed against Kyle's hands and took his soft cock in his mouth.

“Dirty mutt”

…

[jazeswhbhaven]

My Butler From Heaven...Full Service Included ❤ | Lucifer Butler Card React | SPOILERS

Okay so, this was shared with me recently and I had to jump on it and speak on this because let me tell y'all...if you're a hardcore Lucifer stan....this card will fulfill your needs in more ways than one because PHEW.

Not only do we get a side of Lucifer we rarely see, we get some background on why he even acts this way in the first place. Plus a little cameo from God himself? Well damn.

You know the drill, grab a snack, a blanket and let's get into itttt

🤍Story Details🤍

So I can actually talk more about this card because it's not exclusive and will be in the general pool in 3 months time. However I prefer doing the bullet points because I can be silly with the screenshots in the next part lmaoo

So we begin with Gamigin and Morax talking about the "Butt Contest" and that they got to see what Lucifer looks like in his butler outfit, but Gamigin was only really interested in what Lucifer's daily life as a butler would be like instead. (I love that he's so wholesome he don't care about no booties lmao)

But to their surprise, they see that Luci is still wearing the butler uniform??? HMMMM

So back when Lucifer was in Heaven, he would wear the wide shouldered robes we saw during his flashbacks. He'd also wear fitted suits that made him feel a certain way and basically his own form of being comfortable.

Wearing the butler uniform also brings back memories from back then. And he wanted to relive those memories in real time, thus writing a formal letter and sending it via carrier pigeon to "the one closest to his previous master"

And here comes MC! That's right, Ra-On gets a invite to come to Paradise Lost, which makes them nervous only because of Lucifer's behavior each time they visit.

It's interesting that what tracks is that MC is bothered that their connection isn't really all that deep like the other Kings at all. He's often distant, and when the deed is done it's like he never invited them over at all and just goes on about his business as usual. With this I think it's just because Lucifer likes keeping things professional and clear. He's also an angel, and much much older than anyone there and is used to being this way for so long.

However, his behavior is now much more soft, courteous and kind. He's waiting on MC like his life was made for it. Keeping a respectable distance, serving tea? I mean I'd kill for this kind of treatment from him and rightfully so, MC is confused as fuck.

But even so, they can spot that there's some kind of sorrow even behind that dazzling smile. He knows that they can tell too because he addresses it head on, stating that he will tell his story as promised.

Lucifer admits that his reaction to having to serve the customer's at that cafe was natural because he's served under a master before. So the "effects" of the talisman didn't really do anything to him at all. All of what he was doing was something that came natural to him. Because "Everything that happens on Earth was first enacted by Heaven. God his Master, and Lucifer his butler.

And this leads to another flashback when he spent time with God, his father and creator. It's revealed that God often changed his appearance and expressions based on his mood, so Luci's favorite was when he was relaxed and treating him like the only son he had. God has immense powers but he often held them back because he was choosing to live as if he wasn't omnipotent. I wonder though how this exactly...benefits him? Lol you know what I mean like I guess humbling yourself as a powerful being is alright.

So a funny little thing happens and God just randomly decides to give Lucifer siblings so he's not lonely. And whelp a bad omen was predicted on the table cloth from tea stains. YEA H about that lol

Thus ends the quick flashback but Lucifer goes on to explain his role at a butler, and the original creation and son of God 💀 (well no Jesus mentions so) He even brings up that the butler attire, the suits and everything were originally thought up in Heaven and then just influenced on Earth. I like this concept because think about it...just sitting around wondering damn I wish I had nice clothes for this gathering and some 8ft tall angelic being is like "here you go" and gives you a sketch of a suit

Well anyway, Lucifer stops the story not saying much more (boo I want more lore) and then he asks if MC would indulge him and his urge to serve once again. MC accepts and goes around Paradise Lost by Lucifer's side enjoying every minute of the special treatment.

They finally make it back to the Greenhouse, also to note that there are portals in each country so MC can travel quickly and safely between them btw! (I mean I think we've known this but pointing it out once again is really nice) Where the final "service" will begin.

So, MC did something here which idk if I can even fault them for because let's be real...they were assuming that since "the final service" was about the happen here that perhaps Lucifer did this with God too. Which that was confirmed quickly that this was reserved ONLY for MC. And if we remember from his other card stories, specifically his selfie one, he did not participate in any kind of orgies in Heaven and he did not have a chastity cage. So sure yeah it's heavily implied he did sleep with someone (coughI'm guessing either Adam/Evecough) but definitely not God himself.

The intimacy continues, that is when MC gives the consent to continue. Lucifer begins by undressing them and it's mentioned that they shouldn't be nervous since this has happened before. HOWEVER, MC clarifies that this particular kind of intimacy has never happened between them. The soft, gentle, Lucifer servicing them instead.

Now the question begs, why us? Is it because of being a descendant of Solomon who was the closest friend to God? Nope. Lucifer confirms that even if MC is Solomon's descendant that is not why they were chosen. They were chosen because he cares and cherishes them. I believe this entire time he knows about MC feeling insecure about their connection to Hell not being one of their own but because of their ancestor because that's all anyone ever talks about. (sorry Sitri you ain't helpin' with that affirmation either lmao) But seeing him confirm and say to MC that HE made the choice not due to proximity but because they are someone HE wants to serve personally is just...it's romantic as fuck, cute as fuck, I'm going to die from the fluff.

So now things are getting spicy...here are some important buzz notes about the love making:

+Lucifer gently kisses on MC's neck instead of biting too hard until MC tells him they want him to heavily make out with them +MC is positioned behind him so his ass is pressed against them the entire time +Lucifer assigns some "work" for MC to grope him while he fondles them with his fingers/hand +MC starts biting him all over and Lucifer loves the fuck out of it +There's a moment where MC forgot how big Luci is lmao +The perspective of the nipple is...off I think??? Idk I feel maybe I'm not remembering man nip anatomy +Ngl his dick has that torpedo thing going on because of the angle but that's okay I'm not here to stare at it 😌🙌 (I do that for Asmo) +There's a point where MC flips around, and the scene describes that MC is the one controlling fucking themselves on Lucifer +Though in the middle of it...hehehehehehe he takes over and well... +Let me also mention he takes MC's arm and wraps it around his neck +MC jerked off his horn too, and when he came? Well it was a lot +Unlike the other times, MC is relaxed and safe with him after +Their ass got sleepy and went to bed, now come on he's good for another 5 rounds or so like??? You only got 'em for 24 hours let's goooo +He was so sweet at the end here like it's so cute I'm crying

And he says something important after the romp fest: "You may not know, but my master commanded me to love him, too. So you who loves me without being ordered to, that makes you special."

omfggggg and it ends it there! PLS I was so sad that it ended :< like I wanna hear more of that Luci, fuckkkk

🤍Screenshots!!!🤍

bbyboi screamin' so loud poor Morax's ears were bleeding like goddamn

Mmmm tight suits, so tight the buttons can't even stay closed huh. Leave it to me to slutify an angel wearing robes and a suit 💀

PB...don't do this to me. Y'all know it's bad to do this to me. Cause let me tell you how he could be beneath me right now..

I swooned because this reminded me of....

my sweetie, my tea guru, my butler bae, twin tipped tail hottie with the bodyyyyy. I miss him so much he was my official comfort character when I was big into the OM stuff <3

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh he's so darn cute here

So if y'all noticed when they had the Zapar themed login screen he was covering up Lucifer's spot on the illustration. At first I didn't really question the design choice and once I started getting into the event I was like hmmmm and then I looked at the login screen again and started questioning things...turns out...Zepar's talisman's had no effect on him at all even on April Fools day!

God just out here havin' tea while humans are out here killing each other and actin' a mess huh? /j

The stain on the table from the sugar cubes creating a ominous face is sending me because not him knowing he was creating problems and yet still doing it 💀 true "I should have stopped at one kid" vibes from God rn I swear

Male and Female outfits for Ra-On. So cute! Very aristocratic.

He's so adorable. A pigeon and squirrel kept bothering him the entire time so it reminded MC of a Disney princess (hahaha the Disney part had to be censored in game which makes sense)

The greenhouse having a room in the back? Think about how the stars would look through the glass???? THIS IS ROMANTIC AS HELL HELP

Ngl I would be THROBBING, like...the bed is already fucking wet now sir thanks for being sexy as fuck

Waiting for consent? Yessss love that need ittttt

I'll give anything, everything, my soul, my body, my first born, my entire merch collection, my pc, just to see him smile in real time just like this omfgggggg his teeths 😭😭

Marry me. I can handle another husband or five...

Pls. I would tear that UP like slutty waist to grab, just feeling that tight butt, let me see that thong Luci

He's proposing clearly, and I accept /hj

My literal reaction

Wanna see the lewds?? -> Bam, here we goo

🤍Chats🤍

Chat 1 Summary: Lucifer goes over what happened during the card story events and asked if MC was requesting another day for him to serve them, depending on your choices you can either deny you mentioned that or say that Gamigin was the one who assumed you said it. After these choices and the sub choices, Lucifer rambles a bit about human life being fleeting, how he's going to cherish the next time he serves you, that sort of thing. No photo for this one! Chat 2 Summary: Lucifer gets his nerd on and rambles about how he knows a lot about tea. Buer makes his tea mostly and was taught by Lucifer, but Luci is more skilled and the best, he even shows his brewing set/setup and its so niceee. Reminds me again of a certain demon butler who's passionate about tea as well. Also he can tell that Sitri's style of brewing is mostly a Hades thing. (then I wonder if infusing your underwear like Satan did is....an original thing or 👀) Chat 3 Summary: Lucifer explains that angel's have a higher affinity to humans and animals and other beasts. This is why animals in Paradise Lost follow him around alot. Depending on your answers you can tell him he smells good, and he asks if you have characteristics like an animal and that he won't judge while he's your butler lol. But also there's a picture in another choice of him removing animal fur off his clothes. Chat 4 Summary: Lucifer talks about how he was teaching his siblings how to serve God and he talks about who was the best apprentice. For Gabriel we find out that he's better at being served, instead of serving, he was even envious of Lucifer sometimes, Michael was obsessive and well...that means he wouldn't do very well either as a butler. Raphael would be the best. Faithful and served God the best, though he's "violent" that's for anyone that isn't God (or MC it seems) and he becomes docile and seeks approval. SO there you have it! Chat 5 Summary: Lucifer maintains his body and control by clothing to uphold the best butler traits. This is when he shows his thong collection...hehehehehe. But depending on your answers though, he could either ramble about God not making things simple, so mastering the mind is...difficult. Though he does look forward to spending time with us again and serving us...it's really refreshing how he talks to us in these chats!

🤍Date Story🤍

I had to delete a reaction GIF to add this cute image with the forest critters, jjok and Gamigin in the back!!!

Speaking of Gami Gam for a moment, he's quite small for a dragon if he fits okayish on the picnic blanket but also this is probably just him chibified for the purpose of the image alone lol

But the date story was short and sort of somber! Here's some quick bullet points:

Lucifer is still in his butler's uniform when MC wakes up, he won't take it off until they leave. Though he does start thinking naughty thoughts and being caught off guard by MC which is a cute thing to see for him

MC wants to pay him back for his gentleness and care the day before so they try to give him a massage

The message was a bust, instead of relaxing him which did nothing and he was pretty much stone faced the entire time and confused about this action, it stimulates....other desires

Luci and MC bang a rang one more time for a few hours which is wild to me having the deed last for that long but hey when in Hell....

Luci starts reminiscing about how Solomon (of all people) felt about him too in relation to being around God/Himself and everything that happened before both of them disappeared.

From this small interaction of Lucifer mentioning this and that he only did the butler role to get out of his head about unwanted memories, it really did put a damper on the romantic aspect of his actions. They were true and genuine, however him being honest that he only wants to forget things by acting this way really has me think of how much trauma is in that head of his.

Like think about it...thousands of year serving a omnipotent being, being created by said being, having a very skewed approach to what love and devotion is, then being side swept by a human who gains your creator's attention just like that and then your creator suddenly just ceases to exist right around the same time this man left. His brother's causing havoc and destruction, it's...a lot.

Though the main story was definitely more of a feel-good moment, the date story reminds us that Lucifer is always going to have this part of himself he fights with constantly. While this is a huge step up from his usual dynamic with MC, it seems there are some things that even MC themselves cannot heal. Perhaps we will see more dynamic changes in the future that further develop between the two. I really like this vulnerable side of him.

🤍Overall Thoughts🤍

I rate this card 9.5/10!

the .5 was taken out because I was just sad that it was over....that's all lmaooo

When I explain that seeing this service top side of Lucifer set me on something good I meannnn it. Like it woke me out of my recent funk and I'm feeling the love through the screen from our fallen seraphim. he's just...ah he's just... t h a t g u y.

If you're a Luci fan I suggest you get this card for yourself to have in your collection! The story is great (well you saw my react so lol) and the adore mode is really fluid and the variety of things you can do to him is so worth pulling for. EYE though, am satisfied with just experiencing it through friends and moots sharing as it fuels my satisfaction just as much. If you want the Date story, buying the NP is the way to go as it's cheaper than trying to pull multiple copies with the solomon seals. (sadly so, huh?)

It's funny that I did this react way before I did a react for the damn event lmao. That's actually up next before the next part of the event releases. it will be more of a recap honestly since I'm sure everyone's read through it and seen others talk about it.

SO until next time, thank you for sitting through my react, thank you all for your patience and interactions, and for my reals ones for sharing their stuff with me; this admin is forever grateful.

[adambja]

✴️THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND✴️

The Guide - the only post you will ever need to understand how your subconscious mind works!

1. Time isn't real

Let me break it to you! Time isn't real at all cuz think about it all these hours and numbers are made by humans!

But how?!

They just track how the earth moves around the sun and that's all

Yes without time there will be morning and night and still these hours aren't real

As in whole THE UNIVERSE!! TIME DOESN'T EXIST IF YOU AREN'T ON THE EARTH!

which GETS US TO THAT ONE POINT

SUBCONSCIOUS MIND REPROGRAMMING DOESN'T TAKE 21 DAYS OR ANY TIME

Subconscious mind reprogramming is instant

That's why I always add it to my tapes as benefits and that's why I made the benefits! cuz it bypasses the conscious mind and it makes it easier for your subconscious to make it reality!

So basically it all comes down to what you assume!!

2. Languages

I got that question a lot about what if I can't speak English, will the affirmations work?

Yes ofc they will

whatever it's affirmations only or my tapes

Even if you make your own tapes it will work!!

3. Thoughts

Is it really "it is what it is"?

Yes, it is what it is

For ex.

if you think you already got 50k US DOLLARS you already have it it's that simple (like that success story a girl experienced with one of my free tapes she manifested 50k US DOLLARS! - also this one success story - The tape is on YouTube btw)

Again it all comes down to what you assume!

4. Assuming

Assuming hmmm... Do you know that all your thoughts are assumptions?

But there are two things about these thoughts!

Did you assume that they are real and true?

Do you assume that whatever you want is already achieved?

Do you assume that you are always right?

Or did you assume that it can't happen cuz you think you are lying!

Just be honest with yourself

Get a piece of paper and write everything you think about down ABOUT A SPECIFIC MANIFESTATION YOU GOT ON YOUR MIND!

And if you think you are lying why? Ask yourself! Make all that noise go away and clear it for yourself! You deserve better

Now this gets us to another point which is your manifesting self-concept and your self-concept they are very important for ur existence like they are the core of your life! So a little advice work on them then do whatever you want!

Cuz it changes the way you think and what you assume

So like a person with a bad or mid self-concept they will always assume the worst for themselves

Another person with a good self-concept they will be aware of who they are and what they are capable of!

5. Thoughts, Feelings and beliefs!

Again and again

How you feel is created by thought

Subconscious programming → beliefs → feelings → thoughts

So if you keep saying "oh I am sad" multiple times you will be sad it's just that simple

Use it for your own good!

And imagine what... Right now

Your beliefs will reflect in your reality after one thought instantly after reading this post so be careful cuz i already manifested this while typing this!

And listen to in control tape by me on YouTube!

Basically you can always create beliefs instantly cuz you believe that time isn't real... Did you know what we are doing here? Just assuming the best for us but you still have to be constant to get used to it and make it a part of your programming like everyday

Someone like me I enter the void every time I nap and sleep I got used to it and I don't even feel tired anymore when I wake up there and I don't use it that much anymore!

I literally enjoy how easy it is in life to do whatever I want and experience whatever I want!

6. Simple assumptions to have a good relationship with your subconscious mind

I will give you 10 affirmations from my paid subconscious mind tape at the end (I know it won't be the same as the tape itself because of the benefits but still it might help you guys!)

Do you know that your subconscious mind is here for you like a parent it's like your personal assistant - it has everything about you, your memories and it controls ur whole life it accepts every single thought you think about unless you say it it's not something you accept so it gets in your subconscious mind like "oh I don't accept this"

Even the negative statements your subconscious mind knows it negative!! Same thing with the positive statements

Like for ex.

I am not a bad person - negative statement

Your subconscious mind acknowledges it!

Your subconscious mind won't take it in like "I am a bad person" without the "not"

Even the same thing with

I am a good person - positive statement

Your subconscious mind acknowledges it TOO

The subconscious mind ACCEPTS THE NEGATIVE STATEMENTS TOO!

IT IS simply WHAT IT IS!!

It's not the opposite at all as some weird bloggers said! Or even that book about the subconscious mind it's called "the power of the subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy" it's full of bs and limiting beliefs - I genuinely hate it

I literally saw a coach in Saudi Arabia on X (PREVIOUSLY Twitter) selling a whole course for almost 30k USD and sharing all the limiting beliefs in that book and that was months ago!

I mean at least IF YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE PAY FOR SOMETHING PROVIDE THEM WITH THE BEST THINGS AND INFORMATION

I hated how some people let some crazy stuff like that get to them without doing their own research or just creating their own rules!!

Be a little independent please for your own good

Your subconscious mind can be programmed instantly YOU DON'T NEED ANY TIME all you need to realize and understand is that yes "I always reprogram my subconscious mind instantly" and YOU JUST NEED comfort and just repeating the affs - this is a way

Another way to do it - make your own tapes and it's just repetition

Another way to do it - simply be it be whatever you want to be! Like it's already you!

One last way to do it - my free tapes + paid tapes they are very effective they work from the first listen because they have benefits again what actually made my tapes get that much success stories is the benefits

I am gonna upload 2 new free tapes they are small but very effective! Everyone here will like them!!

🎀10 Affirmations for your subconscious mind🎀

from my paid subconscious mind tape

Affirmations:

Me and my subconscious mind are one.

My subconscious mind already accepts everything I say as true.

My subconscious mind already accepts everything think about as true.

My subconscious mind is already my best friend forever.

My subconscious mind always helps me with everything.

My subconscious mind always loves me.

My subconscious mind always helps me reach my highest potential in this lifetime!

My subconscious mind already believes what I want it to believe easily effortlessly quickly and instantly.

My subconscious mind always manifests everything I want easily effortlessly and instantly.

I have a perfect relationship with my subconscious mind.

Thank you guys for all the support and love and I hope this post helped you!

If you have any questions you can always send an ask I will be happy to answer them whenever I am free! Also you can dm me if you want a paid tape or a custom tape!

One last thing these tapes are with benefits they aren't like any other tapes that are available everywhere these days! 🎀

Enjoy!💗

[cutielando]

"bad" girl | carlos sainz

synopsis: in which you can't catch a break from the criticism

a/n: based on this request! i based this when Charles and Carlos were still teammates in Ferrari

pairing: carlos sainz x leclerc!reader

my masterlist

The Monaco sun bore down on the paddock, its golden glow making everything seem brighter—everything except the storm brewing inside you.

It wasn’t the first time you had been caught between your brother and your boyfriend, and knowing the way the media twisted narratives, it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

"She's in Carlos' garage again?"

"Guess we know where her loyalty lies"

"Poor Charles. His own sister doesn’t even support him"

The whispers never stopped. No matter what you did, someone had an opinion about it. If you were seen with Carlos, you were a bad sister. If you were supporting Charles, you were a neglectful girlfriend.

There was no winning with them.

But today, after months of keeping quiet, you had had enough.

♡♡♡♡♡

The weekend had started out promising. Monaco was home for both you and Charles, and it was always a special kind of race. One where your family was present, where old childhood memories resurfaced as you walked the familiar streets.

You had been excited, looking forward to seeing both Charles and Carlos fight for the top spots in qualifying.

That excitement, however, had quickly soured when you saw the headlines flooding social media.

BREAKING: Charles Leclerc’s sister chooses sides: Spotted in Sainz’s garage instead of her brother’s.

Your grip tightened around your phone as you stared at the article. They made it sound like you were betraying Charles just by standing next to Carlos before his qualifying session.

Never mind the fact that you had been in Charles’ garage just thirty minutes earlier.

Never mind the fact that you loved both of them in completely different ways.

Carlos had seen the article, too. He could always read your mood, even when you tried to mask it. When you arrived at his motorhome later that evening, his first words weren’t hello but instead a soft, “You’re upset”

You sighed, flopping down on the couch.

“I don’t get it. How is it that no matter where I stand, I’m always wrong?”

Carlos sat down beside you, his hand immediately finding yours.

“They don’t know you,” he said simply. “They only know the stories they want to write.”

His words made sense, but they didn’t make the situation any less frustrating.

You were tired of walking a tightrope, tired of constantly having to prove your love for both your brother and your boyfriend.

“I don’t even want to check Twitter,” you muttered, resting your head against Carlos’ shoulder.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Then don’t” he whispered.

You wished it were that easy.

♡♡♡♡♡

Race day was no better.

You had split your time between both garages as you always did. Before the race started, you had been by Charles’ side, giving him your usual pre-race pep talk, something you had done for years.

The cameras had captured the moment perfectly — the way Charles smiled at you, the way you squeezed his hand just before he climbed into the car.

But then, once the race started, you had shifted to Carlos' garage. It was an unspoken agreement between you and Charles that you would support Carlos during the race.

Charles had Joris, his mom, and the entire Ferrari team backing him up. Carlos, while also surrounded by his own support system, had you. And you knew how much it meant to him.

The moment you stepped into Carlos’ side of the garage, you could already hear the murmurs.

“She was just with Charles.”

“She really can’t decide, can she?”

“Maybe she should’ve dated someone from another team.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to block out the noise.

It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.

You watched the race unfold, fingers gripping the edge of your seat as both Charles and Carlos fought hard on track. Every overtake, every pit stop, every strategy decision had you on edge.

You just wanted them both to succeed. Was that really so wrong?

When the checkered flag waved, Charles had finished P3, Carlos P5. A bittersweet result.

As soon as you made your way to parc fermé, you congratulated Charles first, wrapping your arms around him. He hugged you back tightly, murmuring a soft "Merci" against your ear.

And then you moved to Carlos, giving him the same love and support.

The cameras caught it all.

By the time you reached your phone again, social media was already on fire.

Does she not realize how bad this looks?

She barely even celebrated with Charles before running to Carlos.

I feel so bad for Charles. Imagine your own sister prioritizing your teammate over you.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, itching to reply. To defend yourself. But you knew it wouldn’t change anything. They had already made up their minds about you.

Carlos must have noticed the way your face fell, because he gently plucked your phone from your hands and locked it.

“Enough of that,” he said, voice firm but gentle. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

You hesitated, your eyes darting to your brother's side of the garage.

“But Charles—”

“—is fine,” Carlos assured you. “I’m sure he’ll be the first one to tell you to ignore all this bullshit.”

And he was right.

Later that night, as you sat on Charles’ balcony overlooking the city, your brother nudged your shoulder.

“I saw the things people were saying,” he said. “It’s stupid.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping.

“I just hate that they make it seem like I have to choose between you and Carlos.”

Charles frowned, shaking his head at you.

“You don’t. And you never have to. We both know where your heart is.”

You blinked, looking at him. “You do?”

He nodded. “Yes. And if they can’t see that, then they’re not worth your time.”

A lump formed in your throat, as you tried to keep yourself from crying.

“I just don’t want you to ever feel like I don’t support you.”

Charles gave you a small, reassuring smile.

“I’ve never doubted you, chérie. Not once.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but before they could fall, Charles pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly.

Carlos found you both a few moments later, pausing in the doorway.

“Can I join?”

Charles rolled his eyes but opened an arm, letting Carlos pull you into his chest.

And for the first time that weekend, the noise of the outside world faded away.

You weren’t just Carlos’ girlfriend.

You weren’t just Charles’ sister.

You were you—someone who loved them both with all her heart.

And that was enough.

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REQUEST HERE

[magniloquent-raven]

this post has been haunting me. i'm weak for beefy men in pretty underwear and @theweewooshow left an open invitation in the tags that i could not resist 😭 i was gonna say i can't believe this is the first fic i'm posting about these two, but honestly it kind of tracks.

hope yall enjoy!!

**

One of the things Tommy's always liked about Evan is how emotional he is. Expressive, is the word, maybe. Vibrant. It was one of the first things he noticed when they met. Poor kid was radiating nerves. The way his hands fidgeted in his pockets, and he wouldn't stop pacing while Tommy was double-checking their gear.

It's kind of fascinating to Tommy, watching Evan light up when he's happy, wilt when he's tired, always seeming to feel every emotion with his entire body.

All that to say...Tommy notices right away that something's up. There's a tiny, reactive part of him that wants to say wrong, something's wrong, but Evan's not pulling away, he just. Froze up for a second. It could've been a twinge in his bad leg when he climbed into Tommy's lap, or any number of other blips that won't completely derail the nice evening they're having.

But on the off chance...

Tommy carefully rearranges his grip, settling his hands comfortably on the small of Evan's back instead. "Everything okay?" He keeps his tone as light as his touch, and watches Evan's expression closely. Their eyes meet only briefly.

"No, uh, yeah." Evan's gaze skitters down, roaming Tommy's face, then darting away. "I, um." He grimaces, and shifts in place. The warm weight of his thighs is distracting. He's still a solid presence in Tommy's lap, and making no move to change that, despite his sudden singular focus on toying with the drawstring of Tommy's sweater.

The corners of his mouth are pursed into a frown that Tommy thinks about kissing away. That thought gets gently pushed to the side. Talking first, he reminds himself. Especially because... "If you're not in the mood anymore, that's okay."

Those—pink, perfect, God—lips part around a huff, half-curved into a grin. "That's kind of the opposite of the problem," he laughs.

Tommy can't help but mirror the smile, even if it's only a tiny one. "So, what is the problem?" He trails his fingertips up the line of Evan's spine, and down again, retracing the path when he feels Evan lean into the touch.

"It's...well, not hard to explain, exactly, but. I kinda wasn't expecting to explain..." He sighs, loud and exaggerated, and falls forward to plant his face in the crook of Tommy's neck, where he continues, slightly muffled, "How do you feel about lace?"

It's not what he was expecting to hear. Though, he's not sure what he was expecting. "Can't say I've thought much about it, to be honest."

He dated a girl back in the day who liked lingerie. She was always asking him what he thought about various scraps of silk and velvet, and it was all...very awkward. He always told her he'd like her just as much in cheap cotton and a borrowed t-shirt, which. In retrospect, was ironically true. When she broke up with him she accused him of being cold. Withholding. He brushed it off as neediness on her part.

He suppresses a wince at the memory.

Evan wraps Tommy's drawstring around his index finger, slowly curling it around his knuckle. "My ex. Taylor. She liked it. She liked...me. In it."

...Oh?

He can't picture it. Not in a bad way, he's not put off by the idea—very much the opposite—but when he tries, the mental image just...blurs. His brain is trying to mesh Evan with his hazy memories of things he never paid much attention to, and it's coming up frustratingly empty.

Tommy is very proud of how calm and steady he sounds when he says, “And…this was something you liked too?”

Warm air tickles the underside of his jaw. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Why are you telling me this now?” He feels like there’s something he’s missing. Something obvious he should have realized, if only he wasn’t so preoccupied with the way Evan’s thighs are flexing, his hand sneaking under the hem of Tommy’s hoodie, skin-to-skin, palm skimming his side, and the hot, tingling press of mouth-on-neck.

“Wanna find out?”

The second he nods he almost wishes he hadn’t, because all at once Evan is gone, and Tommy’s left sitting on his couch in a horny daze, blinking up at his slyly grinning boyfriend. As nice as the view is, his lap is cold now.

Evan thumbs his waistband. There’s excitement sparkling in his eyes, bright and shining, but he hesitates a moment before taking a deep breath and dropping his shorts around his ankles.

Oh.

So…lace. Tommy’s having feelings about lace. Not much in the way of thoughts yet. But feelings, definitely. The sudden rush of heat that burns through him leaves him a little light-headed, all the blood in his veins fizzing like he’s a can of soda someone just popped the tab on. His fingers itch to reach out, he aches with want, desire pooling low in his gut.

Thing is, they’re not even anything too fancy, as far as Tommy can tell. He has vague memories of his ex—and good God does he suddenly feel like he owes her even more of an apology—in complicated woven ribbons and things that probably looked like a crate of bungee cords in whatever bag they came in. Evan is just wearing…panties. Simple, pale blue, lacy panties. There’s a little bow on the front, and it’s unreasonably cute.

Evan hikes up his t-shirt a little, so Tommy can get a better look, presumably. Which he appreciates. He’s losing his mind a little over the trail of light blond hair under his belly button disappearing into soft blue lace. He wants to follow it with his tongue.

The attention is making Evan hard. Tommy’s not sure what his face is doing exactly, but whatever it is, Evan seems to appreciate it. He’s filling out that pouch in the front so fucking well, it’s making Tommy’s mouth water.

“So, uh. Good?” Christ, he sounds breathless and Tommy hasn’t even touched him yet.

It takes all of Tommy’s willpower to drag his gaze up to Evan’s face, but it’s worth the effort. His cheeks are flushed a happy pink, creased by a grin he’s failing to restrain even with his bottom lip trapped by his teeth. The blue in his eyes is a nearly-invisible ring around his dilated pupils, and shadowed by his heavy-lidded expression.

“Evan,” he says, a little hoarse. It’s all he can say without laughing hysterically at the sheer understatement of good. Without telling Evan, in detail, exactly how badly he needs to suck him off through that fabric. How vividly he’s imagining what it would feel like against his own cock, wondering if he could cum just from rutting against Evan’s lace-clad ass while he squirms and begs to be fucked properly.

And more importantly, it’s all he needs to say.

The rest he can just show him.

[momongasshop]

SP characters with a Reader that is sensitive/soft-hearted<3

Stan❤️:

• Also considers himself to be soft-hearted at times, so he isn’t one to hold it against you too much, but if you’re too sensitive to the point you take everything, even light-hearted jokes, too seriously, he might become a little frustrated with you

• He will not ever tell you upfront that your sensitivity or soft-hearted nature frustrates him, but if you ask what is upsetting him, he will tell you, very reluctantly, though (He doesn’t hate this personality trait of yours, but he can find it annoying or frustrating depending on what is going on)

• There was once a time he brought you around his friends, and Cartman upset you to the point you cried; never again will he bring you around the guys if Cartman is there

• Even when your sensitivity can be “too much” for him, he really does appreciate how in tune with your feelings you are; you both can have deep conversations without him feeling “weak” or “weird” (It will take time for him to open up about certain topics, but at least he is willing to do so)

• Yeah, he is definitely going to go to you about everything that upsets him or makes him feel off, especially if he is upset about his parents or his friends; you just understand him

• Overall, he is right in the middle, not too bad but not the best, BUT at least he puts a lot of trust in you and can learn to appreciate this trait of yours (I mean, looking at his track record, he would go for someone a bit “tougher” so having someone like you might throw him off at first)

Kyle💚:

• He loves, and I mean loves, that you’re a more soft-hearted and sensitive person (He would be into the whole “opposites attract” trope, and plus, his track record is mostly girls who are “softer,” so it makes sense he would be into this personality trait the most out of this whole list)

• If you find a dead bird in your backyard and want to cry about it, he is your guy, he would be the type to try and give you a piece of reality by telling you how it’s the circle of life but also to comfort you and tell you how the bird is probably eating all the birdseed they want in heaven

• His friends are most likely not going to be too hard on you IF Kyle warns them ahead of time that you’re more sensitive and will take certain jokes to heart (Except Cartman, he won’t care, so don’t even think about trying to be buddies with him)

• Will make sure to keep a mental memory of the types of things that upset you or make you uncomfortable, especially if it’s things his friends say or do

• When it comes to getting angry or frustrated at you because of your sensitive/soft-hearted nature, he doesn’t really get angry or frustrated, maybe annoyed, but only if he has been having a bad day or something is already bugging him (Hopefully, you can share a little bit of that sensitivity and show some compassion when it comes to times like that)

• Overall, he is the “best” on this list just because he probably pursued you for this softness/sensitive nature you have

Cartman💛:

• Honestly, he is not the kindest person, but he isn’t a complete dickhead (Well, kinda); he likes you for a reason, and that reason is your soft heart; who knew he would be into the opposites attract troupe as well

• Is he going to make fun of you, yes, will let other people make fun of you; absolutely not; he is the type to be like, “You’re such a pussy, stop acting like that,” and if anyone agrees, he is coming for their throat (Bullying you is only cool if it’s him doing it)

• He is more sensitive than he lets on, even if it’s mostly for manipulation purposes; he will at least acknowledge your ways are different than his and possibly open up to you; most of his stories are not sad or deep; most are just confessions of his crimes (Hehe like the chili incident)

• Definitely going to get frustrated with you and sometimes gets angry and call you a “pussy” or a “whiny bitch”, but he will bring you sweets or a drink of your choice to make it up to you, and maybe if he thinks he hurt your feelings really bad, he will give you a hug

• Speaking of hurting your feelings, he is going to do that on more than one occasion, but with time, he will learn what tics you off and what doesn’t, maybe he will be nice, but maybe he will use what makes you upset against you so he can get his way, who really knows it’s Cartman

• Overall, he is the worst on this list when it comes to having a reader that is soft-hearted or sensitive; hopefully, you’re into mean dudes, though, because if so, he is perfect for you (Sorry if this dragged Cartman, but let’s be real, he would want someone who is a carbon copy of himself)

Kenny🧡:

• If he can deal with Butters and Cartman, he can deal with you but may find you annoying sometimes, especially if it’s something simple upsetting you (This is meant to be in the nicest way possible; being sensitive and soft-hearted is not a bad trait to him) 

• He doesn’t even attempt to talk about you to his friends; instead, he will keep everything more private, mostly because he doesn’t want Cartman to pick on you

• Will love it when you want to know more about him; his own friends don’t even bother to really listen about his likes and dislikes and other personal details about his life, so to have someone be interested in him means a lot

• When he died in front of you for the first time, it ruined you, but then you saw him the next morning, hmm how strange, maybe you’re just imagining things (Maybe it was fate your two were supposed to be together for this reason, how sweet)

• Because of how you can remember him dying, he will definitely be more open with you and even talk about how he has died in the past and how almost everyone doesn’t remember; it’s almost therapeutic for him and probably means a lot that he can finally get all of it off his chest

• Overall, he is one of the better ones when it comes to being with a sensitive/soft-hearted reader; he really does care for you and is willing to adapt to your softer nature

Butters🩵:

• Another KINDA-sensitive dude, he does hang around Cartman, though, and is easily manipulated, so the first time he sees you getting overly sensitive or “too soft,” he might poke fun at you with a bad joke

• BUT will definitely say he is sorry and try to make it up to you with a small gift or do you a favor if he hurts your feelings more than he anticipated

• You also have to get used to Butters and his trauma dumping, which is usually when he shows his sensitivity and vulnerability the most, but Butters is more open with this trait of his; it’s not that he wants everyone to know his business, it just slips out (BUT with your sensitive ass you will be all up on him asking if he needs anything or if he wants to talk, you might even shed a few tears if he tells you the worst his parents have done to him)

• Speaking of Butters parents, they probably really like you and think you’re a much better influence on him than his usual friends, but (There is always a but) they might think you’re rubbing off on him if he acts too soft and encourage him to be more manly

• He never gets overly angry with you, maybe a little frustrated at times, but only if you’re sad or overwhelmed for what seems like no reason

• Overall, he is pretty good, but the comments from his parents, Cartman, and even his own insecurities might keep him from welcoming you fully (Don’t worry, though; he will eventually come around and learn to enjoy your softness)