#i appreciate that they just made him a mean bitch that is also incredibly kind and loving. but also mean.

[minnaeatsbread]

10 more iconic things Edwin has said in Dead Boy Detectives because this diva should not be limited by *my* rules

"I spent over 70 years in the worst place with the worst people. I can assure you, bad guys do not worry about being bad guys. And you, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know" (🥹❤️)

"I'm busy right now 😃"

"The water closet was 🌟pristine🌟 and full of decorative soaps"

"...there is a fuzzy lizard motioning"

*high-pitched screeching*

"This is unacceptable 😤 kindly remove it"

"That was rather embarassing for you ☝️"

"Maybe it's your outfit 💅"

"She can find that insolent little girl Emma and take polaroids in a graveyard or some other nonsense"

"No staring 💅"

[maxdibert]

Someone had asked me when I started considering Severus my favorite character, but I’m an idiot and accidentally deleted the message with my response, so I’m putting it here separately because I think it’s a shame, and I don’t want to seem rude. They asked me if I liked him ever since his story was revealed in the seventh book, if it was earlier than that, or if it was something that developed as a reaction to the hate the character receives. And honestly, none of those?

When I first started reading the series as a kid, Severus seemed to me like the typical asshole teacher from any children's story. I mean, in every kids’ or teen movie, show, or book, there's always an asshole teacher. There's the one who punishes the kids in The Breakfast Club, the principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off who chases him all over town, and Miss Finster in Recess, who spends all day trying to catch students misbehaving. Snape, in the early books, felt like just another one of those, and honestly, I never really disliked those characters—I actually found them kind of funny.

I started feeling empathy for him in the fifth book because the SWM scene really shocked me. And I’m 100% serious when I say that level of school violence is absolutely horrifying to me. That was also the scene that made me hate James Potter, and honestly, that hatred is the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a man who isn’t my father. Well, not really—I’ve had friends for longer—but it sounds good to say. And then, when I got to the seventh book and his backstory was revealed, I actually found him pretty pathetic. I won’t lie—I thought he was a total loser. My reaction was like: dude, all of this over a woman who married your bully? My opinion on Lily isn’t something I developed recently; it goes way back. It always seemed insane to me that Snape had literally sacrificed his entire life for a woman who cut him off over something that, to me, felt like nothing compared to what he endured every day. But more than that, it absolutely blew my mind that she married the person responsible for all of it. Because, honestly, if a friend of mine married my abuser, I’d beat the crap out of her. It just seemed like something only someone with incredibly low self-esteem would do, and back then, I didn’t really appreciate pathetic characters.

Years later, I reread the series, and by then, I was older, had seen more things, and understood life differently. I had also gone through a couple of pretty traumatic experiences and met people who had gotten into all sorts of trouble or came from extremely dysfunctional families, and that made me empathize a lot more. First, I started appreciating Snape’s mean girl moments throughout the books because, honestly, I relate to his way of being a total bitch when it comes to messing with people. Second, by then, I had already spent a year washing dishes, living in a shitty apartment, and getting paid next to nothing, so I understood just how exhausting life must have been for him as an adult. Honestly, the Golden Trio’s behavior was unbearable to me at times. And third, his story felt like an incredibly realistic portrayal of how someone with no resources or support clings to anything to survive—even if that means joining a terrorist group, a cult, or just getting involved with the wrong crowd. Severus Snape’s case is the case of thousands of young people in extreme vulnerability who see no other way out but to get involved in certain things, or who are so desperate for acceptance and affection that they latch onto anyone who shows them the slightest bit of attention, or who have so little that they settle for anything. They’re easy targets, which is why it’s such a common phenomenon. His behavior also seemed like a very realistic response to the trauma he carried, and his reactions made perfect sense within his context. I simply came to the conclusion that he was the most complex and three-dimensional character in the entire series, and the reason so many people hate him is precisely because he doesn’t fit into a childlike moral framework—he’s a character you understand and appreciate more as an adult. Of course, most of his haters are under 25; most of them still live with their parents, haven’t been through real hardship, and don’t understand life.

And now, it also just makes sense for me to defend him because—let’s just say I neither confirm nor deny that I see a lot of the people I work with in him. People who have made serious mistakes, who have gotten involved in horrible things, but at the end of the day, they genuinely want to change or reintegrate into society, yet they’re constantly judged and condemned despite the fact that their actions were a direct consequence of social, institutional, and systemic barriers that left them with no other options. And the fact that people ignore that reality pisses me off because, ultimately, it’s a reflection of how we’re socially conditioned to believe in a ridiculous moral binary when, in reality, everything is far more complicated. Like, yeah, Snape joined a terrorist group, but so what? He paid his dues, so what? I believe in social reintegration, and my job is literally about that—there’s nothing more to it.

[babischlong-six]

Vera's Babylon 5 Rewatch – Infection

Yeah for me this was kind of a nothingburger of an episode when I watched it the first time: I thought it was some cool concepts executed in a not super exciting way – second time around I feel like I can appreciate it WAY more, maybe due to the fact I know what to expect from the series, the little details I notice now, and the foreknowledge of the rest of the story

What I find absolutely hilarious is how shady and ominous Vance is acting from the get-go – but also how much of a bitch Franklin is being to him "you're taking shortcuts by discovering things," "it's like grave robbing," BRO it's called archaeology, chill. Like I know Vance is in the wrong here but that's just mean

"Would you care to comment on that?"/"I'd rather have my tonsils taken out through my ears." ICON

Nelson Drake… Man, what a guy. Shows up looking sexy; immediately kills a guy; goes through a body horror transformation; goes on a destructive rampage because alien tech made him an incredibly racist living weapon; is arrested and never heard from again.

I know Sinclair is this cool-headed, wise, broody guy – but in truth he's also unhinged. "I'm gonna make it mad." *Jumps into the hole the Ikarran War Machine made in the space station floor while Garibaldi yells after him* *put his whole Sincl-ussy into a dramatic, echoing, voice over for the War Machine* *pulls a Kirk and talks it into destroying itself*

Wow, my middle-aged man yaoi goggles are STRONG on my rewatch. "This is the third time in the last year you've put yourself on the line like this."/"I didn't know anyone was counting."

[applestorms]

i was gonna write a more extensive post about this, but. fuck that i have too many points to write proper sentences rn, here's a bullet point list of my review of sonic 3. spoilers, obviously. tl;dr: i'm a hater

maria is fridged to hell and back, she is such a nothing character i have secondhand embarrassment for the writers every time she shows up. maria exists only to smile in flashbacks and lie in the flowers and go, "noooooooooooooooo, shadow :(( you can totally be whatever you want, dude," and then die on the floor. we don't even get to see her getting shot. fucking rip off.

to clarify-- maria absolutely does NOT have to be a fucking dead wife trope incarnate, imo. she can very easily be used that way, yes, but i think doing so also misses the core of her character and what she means for shadow. part of the appeal of the conversations that maria & shadow have on the arc in SA2 comes from the fact that they are characters coming from a very similar position, both being incredibly alienated from the rest of the world/humanity, daydreaming about it more than they are able to interact with it directly. like, come ON, they literally live on a fucking space station, the symbolism does not get that much more obvious?? it is the fact that maria CHOOSES to love humanity anyways, despite being unable to interact with it/live within it, that makes her words meaningful. jesus fucking christ.

anyways, speaking of. shadow has NO arc in this movie (literally and figuratively. did you seriously put the spaceship in Ohio) and it drives me up the wall. perhaps i'm just out of the loop on the Current Shit, but it feels like Nobody knows how to write that guy nowadays :((

not that i could fucking tell anyways in this particular movie from how little he shows up or SPEAKS. LET HIM SPEAAAAAK. i swear to GOD, he interacts w/ the main cast like three (3) fucking times in this entire movie and two of those interactions are fights. if you want those cute, quirky, somewhat cringe sonic/shadow interactions, you're better off watching the trailer plus whatever clips of the final fight inevitably end up on youtube, since that's basically their only real conversations in the entire movie.

the ending falls incredibly flat because of this. in the last movie, we at least had some decent character interactions between sonic & knux which made their fight and eventual team up at the end that much more satisfying. there was something to dig your teeth into, a back-and-forth that was entertaining (by sonic movie standards) but also established who they were, not only why they didn't like each other but how they could eventually bond. you had reason to care about knux, and reason to root for them to fight together!!

instead, here we got a whole lotta nothing. sonic and shadow fight, and it's cool, and it does all the Sick References and wowie yay clapping my hands live & learn blue/red lights cool. epic. yet i'm still left sitting here like WHO IS THIS BITCH??? WHO IS HE?????

fundamentally, the problem with this movie is that it Does Not Know what it's primary storyline is, or even who the main character is, and it falls flat on its fucking face because of it. there is no focus. sonic maybe barely kind of squeezes out an arc about teamwork and believing in your friends (a repetition of the last movie, i would argue, but whatever). eggman gets a much more hefty plotline about coming to terms with family, which i would be able to appreciate a whole lot more if it didn't feel like the only meaningful story arc in the entire fucking movie. robotnik bullshittery should be the B plot guys, come the fuck on. and shadow, of fucking course, gets NOTHING. he stands around looking grumpy and cool (and very cute, the animators did alright, i'll give them that), and emotes jack fucking shit. i know he's not a certified yapper like some people, but come the fuck on, he can still like. say words. right. RIGHT

is this review even comprehensible even more? i don't care, this is driving me insane. are you guys seeing this shit. are you.

this isn't even just me being a shipper and going wahh wahh no sonadow moments. you put those bitches on the poster why are they not talkinggg. even just an argument would be Great. it was like the one thing sonic prime figured out, why is it so empty here.

this also leads to the fundamental issue where i have NO fucking idea why either of them are so chill with each other by the ending. not only do i not know why shadow is so chill with sonic, considering he was just dead set on ending the fucking world to get revenge and one conversation is not enuf to convince me that he would get over it (even the lowkey suicidal tendencies fall somewhat flat for me since AGAIN. NOTHING), but i ALSO don't know why SONIC gives a shit about shadow!! or why he's so happy go lucky about all this!!! dawg he just killed the closest thing you have to a father. as much as i hate the humans in this series, even i have to sit for a minute and go uhh what? there is absolutely NOTHING to make their team up at the end of this emotionally meaningful other than the bland, surface level reaction of Yay Shadow And Sonic On Screen :) like the movie itself simply does not build up their rivalry in a meaningful enough way to make it feel worth it. one conversation can do a lot, but only if you have the build up to MAKE it mean a lot. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh

the ending being almost exactly the same as the beginning thus doesn't surprise me in the slightest cuz like. what else do you do. sonic Does Not have any reason to care about that bitch and neither does anyone else. his actual enemy eggman is presumably dead, so. who cares. a couple good fights then nice knowin' ya man o7 thanks for sacrificing yourself to save the world or whatever

the scene where shadow stalks the individual team members through the remains of their old military base/Ohio Arc stand in or whatever is cool, yes. one single hand clap for that. i like them making him ominous as fuck. but i just-- i need everybody to shut the fuck up for like two seconds so sonic and shadow can talk directly and have a proper fucking conversation before the literal end of the movie, like please just argue or SOMETHING. DO. SOMETHING. MEANING. LIKE A CHARACTER THING. WHO R U

also the eggman/stone shit drives me up the wall. another set of bitch ass writers too scared to make their characters canonically queer, so they bury their gays instead. idfc that they're inevitably going to revive him again, it's still stupid as shit. stone also does nothing in this movie so his internal "conflict" is dumb anyways aaaaskjdflksdjfl smacking my head on the keyboard

there comes a point in this movie where it really does feel like Everything is just about eggman and gerald. tails and knux stop being meaningful characters with personalities outside of quips by approximately the chao garden. sonic's weird human parents aren't even given a meaningful storyline outside of the one time that shadow punches him when they try to set up some miscommunication bullshit or whatever at the end. sonic and shadow fight but even that gets interrupted by... whatever the hell they were doing??? again, all of this would be way less aggravating if those scenes were able to fulfill their actual purpose: side bullshit funnie stuff to break up the serious scenes of the main plotline. unfortunately, this movie thinks a flashback to the traveling wilburys is sufficient to make its main character a complex, nuanced person. face in hands

seriously. why is that scene of eggman & gerald telling stone & shads to get back in the crab a microcosm of this entire film. orz

also also, before someone bitches at me for not paying close enough attention to [x] specific detail or whatever-- anything that you can easily miss on a first watch through should Not be integral to the plot of a movie. istg, i write scripts, i know how this shit works. if your audience can't figure out the emotional arc of a character after one watch, you have fundamentally failed your job as a writer. a flashback is not sufficient character writing, jfc.

and really, that's what it all comes down to, isn't it? the writing. it's always the Fucking writing with these movies. the animation here is, for the most part, fantastic, the voice acting is decent at worst, even the awkwardness of a half-human cast is somewhat smoothed over. yet the writing for these movies never fucking improves-- the jokes are still cringe at best, the references are blunt and unnatural, and the characters. have. no. arc.

perhaps it was somewhat inevitable that we end up at this point. this movie series has already been building up an entire universe of Other Bullshit, and it is here that we feel a lot of that crashing back down. the shelf could only stand up for so long.

i suppose in conclusion, my main takeaway from this movie is that it is an adaptation that fails. it does not understand who its characters are or what they want, it does not know why people connected to the characters it attempts to introduce on an emotional level, and it does not know how to make its own confusing lore work with all of the new details.

[poisonedspider]

poisonedspider: INDIE roleplay blog for ANGEL DUST (ANTHONY) from HAZBIN HOTEL. Incredibly NSFW muse. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Spoilers present. Canon divergent. Semi-selective. High activity, slow reply speed. Multipara/Novella literate writer for 20+ years. Multiverse and multi-ship. Mostly head canon based representation of (one) famous porn star. Mature and triggering content present, must be 21+ to interact. Blog will explore extreme trauma, abandonment, s*xual assault, physical violence, death, addiction etc. Mutuals only, please! Authored by Strode, he/him, 30+. Re-established April 2024 (originally wrote in July 2019). Please read rules under the cut on this post.

Stand-alone blog, not strictly affiliated with the Hazbin/Helluvaverse and community (and certainly not in support of Vivzie). Open to any and all characters and interactions, including outside of Hellaverse. Let it be known I am NOT AN ASK BLOG. Personals are allowed to follow, but will not be followed back and will be BLOCKED if they keep interacting with my stuff. Do not reblog this post.

Angie's main bitches: @sirserpentine, @mothvalentino, @hellmxses, @advlox, @veelentino, @featheredbarkeep

Don’t be an asshole. Literally my number one rule. This is a hobby. We are nerds writing as fictional characters. I’m too old to feel in high school again. If you don’t like what I write, the block button is a function. Block me, and move along. Forget I exist. I do not participate in call out culture, and will not be forced to choose sides.

Memes are definitely the best way to interact with me. I personally will turn all memes into threads, as I feel that’s the point of them. You don’t have to necessarily continue them, but I’d appreciate if you did because I put a lot of thought and energy into my replies.

Never feel the need to match my length (I write a lot), but also know that I reserve the right to delete a thread if I don’t feel like what you wrote gives me enough information to write a well thought out reply. Also always feel free to delete threads I send to you that you no longer have muse for. This is for fun, it isn’t a homework assignment. You don’t need to explain yourself on your own blog!

I work more or less an overtime job (7 AM to 7 PM most days), and I’m traveling almost every other weekend, which means my replies are slower than I would like. Just know that this is not me ignoring your threads, and I do not get overwhelmed so you can continue to send me things. Just know I may not always have the spoons to talk or do replies, even if you see me online. Just please be patient with me!

There will be a LOT of NC-17 rated material on this blog. Almost everything will be NSFW - look at the show content, and especially this character. I do my best to tag the main triggers I can think of, but will often skimp out on tagging triggers because I think the very nature of this series is triggering and by following this blog, you have an expectation that you are getting into some dark shit. It is not my duty to make sure that you have a safe space, and if you don’t feel safe, I will not be remotely offended if you unfollow to keep your dash what you want it to be. It’s kind of impossible to write Angel and Angel’s story without some triggers coming up (Episode 4? Yeaaaah.)

Personals, do NOT reblog things. It already happened from the hour I made this blog, and it will become an automatic block. This is a roleplay blog. Period. I am also not an Ask Roleplay Blog, so while I may respond to some of those things in jest, it isn’t the purpose of this blog. Hazbin fan blogs and whatnot, leave my stuff out of it. If you continue to do this, I will report your blog. 

To roleplayers, PLEASE only reblog things if they are memes, fanart, etc. (Even then I'd prefer a reblog from the source if possible). I do NOT want my head canons, personal musings, and especially my OOC posts being reblogged. Consider this Angel's private diary in a way. It's for him and his thoughts, and I do not want that to be passed around endlessly outside of the RPC. If you reblog my OOC thoughts especially (like, why would you do that?) I'll be blocking.

Angel Dust is gay. He will not be having romantic relationships with any females in the show. The only way he would ever be with a female, is if for whatever reason Valentino decided that he needed to sleep with a woman for his porn. Which I can’t see happening but….yeah. If it does happen, do NOT attack me for it. My blog, my choice. I have exceptions for many reasons, but do not try to force a romantic interest if your character is a woman.

Speaking of Valentino, the way I play Angel is him still within the confines of the contract. He might do things he is ashamed/embarrassed of and doesn’t want to actually do because of the contract. Dubcon will probably be explored on here to some degree because he struggles saying no to Val. That doesn’t stop him from fighting back, but he’s going to do some gross things because his soul is owned. My Angel does have love for Val. That doesn't mean I ship them AT ALL. It means that I have no shame as a therapist in exploring the cycle of abuse and toxic relationships, and that this is incredibly important to my Angel's story.

This being said, dubcon would be the only thing I'd put under a Read More because I know other people hate it. I don't really intend to write it out, but people could argue that Valentino using his 'poison' is considered dubious consent, and yeah, I'm going to write that and flesh it out a bit. As for other read mores, I'm lazy and it ain't gonna happen. You followed a character who is a sex worker. There's going to be smut. Murder. Cussing. That's the content of the show. I have no shame putting it out in the open. As mentioned, you can check the trigger warnings on my posts before reading something.

I’m a multipara/novella roleplayer. I’ll do some one liners and crack stuff, but it won’t be as common. I want to have elaborate threads. I want to flesh out this character. I’m going to come up with things about him that Vivzie doesn’t and make him a little bit my own. And that comes from writing, writing, writing. If I don't reply to you, it's probably because I can't work with one liners and I am stumped.

All the graphics and whatnot on this blog were either created or commissioned specifically by/for me. (I know I’m not a fabulous photoshop graphic maker but hey I tried). Do not steal from me. If I find out that you have, I will report your blog for theft. Majority of the graphic work on here is done by both @cerberuscommissions and @17webs.

DO NOT GODMODE. I will literally scream, cry, and throw up (okay, not literally). This is my blog, and I want to control Angel in my way. Please and thank.

Sorry fam, I don't do Discord roleplay. I've had a few people ask, and while yes I do have it, I hate it with a burning fiery passion. All roleplaying will be done here and here alone, because I like to have a Tumblr blog as a sort of 'archive.' However - I am starting to explore being more comfortable with OOC conversation, which I know most people prefer on Discord. While I am an idiot with this specific app, I will try if that's where you'd like to talk. Just ask me. Do not be let down if it takes me awhile to respond though; my job is talking to people all day about deep emotional things, and I often don't have the spoon level.

As for the mains (listed above), do not be discouraged just because I have mains. I was avoiding choosing them for a bit because I hate how it can feel like favoritism, but the fact of the matter is that there are unfortunately people on here that Angel has much more muse for, and that I talk to ooc almost every day. Those people get first priority. Let it be known that does NOT mean they are exclusives. I will be writing with every single character, no limitations.

I don't have any triggers. Period. I appreciate people asking me if such and such is okay in a thread before we do it, but really, just do whatever your character feels they would do. I'm a therapist. And sure, therapists have their triggers too. But I've been exposed to so much shit that nothing really phases me anymore. If you're a Val, this is full permission to harm my Angel in whatever way YOU are most comfortable with.

I am a therapist as my main career, and sometimes I post about my clients. I want to make it clear - my clients are AWARE of what I post. We have a running joke of them literally saying, "That was funny, put that on your blog." Half of why they tell me they hired me was because if you Google my legal name, half my cosplay comes up due to being in interviews and magazines. They like that I'm a nerd and that it makes me human. They know I have this blog (but no, they have no access to it - duh). They literally have me showing them exactly what I write, and again, they are usually telling me to write it. I am getting exhausted in being told it's disrespectful to my Clients if I bring them up. They are aware. They find it hilarious. I get frustrated with my clients but I adore every single one of them.

I post a lot of OOC stuff, only because a lot of my friends irl HATE Hazbin and Helluva Boss. (My best friend said she stopped watching ten minutes in bc her absolute hatred of Angel). If I'm posting random open things about my day or my thoughts, it's because you guys aren't just writers to me. You're people I adore. A found family in a way (kind of like the Hazbin Hotel...d'awww gay). It is my way to connect on a mun to mun level since I struggle with ooc chatter. I'm sorry if that bothers you. But if at any point you find it actual vague blogging, please come to me. I am very against that as I think it's a childish way to target someone without coming to them directly about the issue. Most of my 'vague' posts are just my overall thoughts and definitely never have a single person in mind.

I do not own the character Angel Dust or any content from Hazbin Hotel. I am not associated with Vivziepop and am in fact an Anti-Viv blog (please don't associate me with her). Shocker, I know. But gotta put that on here. 

Tldr; Be chill, have fun, don’t follow if don’t like hypersexuality, severe trauma, or sassy gay men.  

[liquid-bonhomme]

Only tangentially related but your Harley Quinn post made me so glad that whenever I watch any Batman media, it's with my friend who can point out and explain all the references and Easter eggs. He's really excited for the next RPat Batman movie because of the amount of things set up/teased in the first one (I also really appreciate the first film because of the focus on Batman as a detective, rather than the action).

Also only tangentially related, but every day, I'm a little more grateful that The Venture Bros. is a show about a sad old man and his beautiful and horrible boys. There's nothing there to appeal to Lily, I don't have to worry about her half paying attention and giving the worst takes imaginable about my favorite show.

The 2022 Batman movie is my favorite live action theatrical release yet.

I try to not imply that there's one TRUE Batman interpretation since one of the things I adore about Superheros is that, like Greek myths, they've become so ubiquitous they become excellent means to explore concepts and ideas through many different lenses. A sort of conceptual shorthand, if you will.

"The big three" DC heros have been sort of softly canonized in the comics for a while as representing hope (Superman), truth (Wonder Woman), and justice (Batman.) Out of all three of those, justice is the one with the most baggage to it BY FAR.

I understand why people love the Nolan movies-- but I don't. I don't for a lot of reasons. Yes Heath Ledger's performance was incredible, given all the more weight considering what happened to him soon after-- but a trilogy is more than just one legendary performance. More than Nolan's obvious technical skill with the craft of film making. I take issue with a lot of things with the film, but one of the major ones ideologically is how fundamentally uninterested the films are at challenging the idea of justice. It takes it as a given that Batman (as a representation of justice) is good, that justice corrects the fundamental issues it tries to, and you shouldn't question it. You shouldn't look at it too close. More so in the Dark Knight Returns than the other two, but. Christopher Nolan is very much a romantic in his film making-- and if that's your jam, cool. It's not mine.

Tim Burton wasn't overly critical of Batman as a symbol of justice either, but his films operate more on a kind of fable-ish logic and it doesn't bother me nearly as much. He's a more stylistic filmmaker who likes to tell simple stories through mood and atmosphere. I like that about them, but I'd prefer something more psychologically engaging.

The Batman was the first theatrical love action release I felt really took the time to tease out what it really MEANS to be the symbol of justice. It's why Batman's rouges' gallery is so full of more complex, psychologically challenging enemies. It's why so many Batman stories have him sitting and lamenting the choices he's made. Why he's the darkest superhero archetype. There should be something . . . Disturbing about him. Like, you're unsure if he's really a hero at all sometimes. That possibility that this is all a big cope should be this miasma that flavors all his actions. To me, that's the good shit.

Also, I'm fucking ADORING The Peguin show. Hilarious Lorch was bitching about writers drawing from "the same four comics" with Batman when I think this is the first time we've seen even a loose adaptation of The Long Halloween, outside of the video games taking some mild inspiration from it. It's not really the sort of content you could put in a kid's show outside of a wink and a nod.

Not to be horny on main, but Cristin Milioti is CAUSING ME SOME FEELINGS as Sophia Falcone.

(Oh yeah I suppose Gotham kinda sort of did Long Halloween too. So much insane shit happened in that show I completely forgot about it.)

[dragon-susceptible]

Lmaoo mood though

See I don't know how to respond to that now because no matter if I say you should or not it makes me sound less trustworthy.

Technically they all have injured arms, but also, Ezran's 10, not 5. That's a pretty large child to just be carrying around for an extended period of time. Skor and Runaan were the primary ones up to doing that the whole time.

He's just flagging he's not uninterested lmao

Ellis is so sweet and so energetic and so exhausting.

Andromeda does point that out in the next moment lol. She's just also a curious bitch and has a bit more energy left than Ezran, so she has to investigate what the bright lights are.

Ram is so excited. Skor has met Lujanne before and is just like, so done with her flirting before it even starts. Last time he saw her he was like 19 and incredibly flustered by it and he still remembers how uncomfortable that was. Meanwhile Rayla's super unimpressed with Lujanne in canon even though she's fascinated by the Nexus and Primal Magic "Sciences" so to speak, and it sends me every time I think about it.

Crisis time! And they'll have the next week to watch Zym and Ez together and think about it.

He's right though!!

I mean speaking as someone who's had . . . comparatively a lot of burns in my life, minor burns (which is what Ram has, as his glove took the worst of it) kind of fade into the background readily enough. His binding probably chafes on it, and that's annoying, but it's kind of like having a bad sunburn. It hurts, but it's also super isolated to that one spot and if he keeps his wrist straight he can manage it.

Honestly the scene of them all having their breakdowns over not being able to go home was awesome to write. I loved it. I'm delighted to see it was as devastating to read as it was meant to be. Even knowing it's all going to be okay, I gotta put them through the wringer first, and I wasn't about to neglect how terrifying this would be without them knowing the outcome.

That's what he did in the episode! I watched it again while writing this to be sure lmfao. I'm sure he thought saying "I know what I have to do" was a warning.

Also please appreciate the meta knowledge that Runaan just thought he was going to try and use the stone to summon a storm, not release the one inside of it. It's a complicated spell that's difficult even for more advanced mages, and he didn't want the kid to hurt himself. This was somehow more unhinged.

I'm so glad you agree that Ram is being a voice of reason here, I was so afraid I was going to have people coming at me like THEY SHOULD HAVE HELPED HER.

Corvus is fine lmfao

Zym!! Lmfao yeah no Bait licking the dragonlet's eyes open, I didn't really see why they'd have at least three adults with midwife training around none of those people would just handle it.

Yeah. I'm gonna try and figure out how to work the story in here somewhere, but basically the idea is that Tiadrin insisted on making One Last Quick Journey outside of the forest for a gift for Lain late in her pregnancy. Lain wasn't allowed to come because the whole thing was supposed to be a surprise for him, so Runaan went with her instead, and she went into labor before they made it all the way home. So it was just the two of them in the middle of fuckass nowhere and Runaan was the first one to hold baby Rayla after she was born. He cleaned her and her mom up and got them home safely too.

Yeah that was the vibe I got from the episode, too. That moment where Zym and Ezran lean their foreheads together was so powerful, it felt like something More was being formed there, and I loved that.

Ikr lmao dragon babies are something else. Zym's also been semi-conscious this entire time in his egg, that's why he knows his name, because Zubeia and Avizandum would talk to him while he was in the nest.

Six more miracles, in fact!

Runaan is a fucking nerd about assassin histories and how all their oaths and politics work.

Yeah he was signing it, so they couldn't hear. But he's right, getting the news back to Zubeia may be a big help to them.

It absolutely is dangerous, yeah, and if this were just normal bindings that were incrementally tightened then yeah, reperfusion would be something they've got to worry about. I opted to handwave it with The Bindings Are Magic though, and that magic keeps everything from getting too lastingly fucked up even after the bindings are removed.

I wouldn't have any clue how to deal with it either! That's a hell of an experience to have in just a handful of minutes!

Skor, Runaan, and Lujanne all just see a distinct lit trail clearly leading to another location, pinpointed on the princes, and are making an educated guess that this means someone's following them. The light clearly isn't natural, and it has a clear origin somewhere else, which means it can't be connected to Zym's hatching, so . . .

Did Lujanne ever tell them or did they just find out when Soren and Claudia caught up? I don't remember suddenly.

Thank you!! This chapter was one of my favourites too actually, goodness, writing the heartache and then the relief in the scene with Zym was so good. Plus that ending with the adults seeing that they're being tracked, I was proud of that. I'm almost temped to go in and end the fic here, since it's a full season, and just make Season 2 a second fic in the series. But I feel like season 2 moves way faster than Season 1 and it'll end up being a much shorter fic, and then I'll have to do a whole third one for season 3, and I'm like. Nah. We'll just do all of Arc 1 as a single massive epic fic.

Different Path Taken Ch21 P2-P3: Wonderstorm

Okay so this chapter may end up being Real Damn Long. These sections together are nearly 4k words, but the first section is just over 2k. Oh well. It's adapting the season finale, what was I supposed to do with it?

They did in fact reach the hollow tree well before dawn.  Andromeda had been eyeing the way the children were walking for a while now, noticing how Ezran’s eyes were dull and tired and his steps were heavy.  He needed to be carried over the gaps that required jumping, and Skor and Callisto traded off when Skor fumbled a landing.  His twisted ankle was clearly still bothering him.  Even Callum’s enthusiasm for learning about the history of the mountain seemed to be waning as the night wore on.

When they reached the shelter and Ellis and Ava dived into it, the girl whooped happily. “This is it!  This is where we were hiding!  Look look look!”

As the boys and Rayla followed her in, Andromeda stopped Runaan with a touch on his elbow.  He looked down at her with a brow raised to prompt her. “We should stop to rest,” She said softly. “The children are exhausted, Runaan.  They aren’t used to this sort of travel, and the hike was difficult for them.  They need time to recover - and if I’m being honest, so do I.” It felt as though stone weights were attached to her bones as she moved and her hand was still annoyingly cold. 

Runaan looked from her to the hollow tree, where Ezran had already collapsed into a heap on the ground and looked half-asleep, and Callum wasn’t far behind.  He sighed a bit through his nose but nodded. “Very well.” He said just as softly, and then raised his voice to the others. “Take a few moments to rest in the shelter.”

“Don’t we have to get the egg to the top as soon as possible?” Callum asked worriedly. 

“Traveling harder now will do us no good if half of us collapse before we reach our destination,” Andromeda replied for him, and carefully slumped down into a seat just inside the hollow too, closing her eyes briefly with relief as she finally was able to relax her muscles. 

The inside of the tree was quite broad, and they all could have taken shelter within it, but within minutes a light drew their attention from outside.  Andromeda heaved herself back up to investigate as the children followed her, looking up at the sky.  Moonlight seemed to coalesce into something as bright as day as a large bird descended from the glow of the moon.  When it landed, a tall elven woman in a mage’s robes dismounted from its back to survey them all. 

Andromeda glanced at the other elves to see their reactions, as her own heart pounded in her chest at greeting such a powerful figure in their cultural history.  Ram’s eyes were wide and his hands were clasped into a circle, practically vibrating in his skin.  Callisto’s face was smooth and blank and they leaned on their glaive, but their head was slightly lowered with respect and their eyes were bright and interested.  Skor looked vaguely disinterested and maybe a bit uncomfortable, standing a step behind Callisto, and Rayla looked distinctly unimpressed.  Runaan stepped forward with his hands clasped into a ball in front of his chest, a familiar but old Moonshadow gesture of respect, and bowed slightly to the woman.

“By the Moon’s guidance, Archmage.” He greeted, formally. “For those who have not been here before, this is the Guardian of the Moon Nexus, Archmage Lujanne, one of the most accomplished mages ever produced by Moonshadow Forest.”

The Guardian’s curious expression broke into an amused smile and she chuckled openly. “Ah, I remember you.” She said with a teasing tone. “Still quite the charmer, aren’t you, Runaan?”

Andromeda blinked with surprise as Runaan sighed with exasperation, a smile tugging at his lips. “And still quite married, thank you, Lujanne.”

The Guardian laughed. “Well, you can’t blame a girl for being curious!  And don’t think I’ve forgotten you, either, young man.” She nodded around Callisto’s shoulder at Skor, who winced slightly.

“Even if I wasn’t, you would have more luck with . . . any of the other adults.” Runaan said dryly. 

Lujanne chuckled again but his mention of adults seemed to remind her that there were children present as well, and she looked over at them curiously.  She smiled kindly at them. “I suppose my ruse with the little wolf’s leg has been exposed.”

Runaan coughed politely. “It seemed pertinent.”

She gave him another look and walked over to pet the large wolf.  She didn’t even have to bend down to scratch behind her ears. “I remember you hiding in the tree with that little cub, both so frightened and sad.” She reflected aloud. “I saw she had lost her leg, and I understood that humans would have trouble accepting her.  But I knew her spirit was strong, and that was all that really mattered.”

This kindness was so . . . almost foreign.  Altruism was uncommon among their people, at least to strangers, and especially to humans, and Andromeda’s heart suddenly ached sharply realizing how much they had rejected in the name of self-defense.  How far had they gone to protect themselves?  At what point did their violence and coldness cross the line from self-defense?

“To help you, I created an illusion - a leg that others would see and feel even though it wasn’t real.  I enchanted the moonstone collar to hold the spell.  She never needed that fourth leg to be happy.  Everyone else did.” Lujanne said proudly, removing the collar.  The wolf’s fourth leg vanished in a burst of golden light. 

Runaan cleared his throat. “Ava is also steadied by the solidity of the leg.  Given the girl uses her as a mount, I would argue she very much does need it to function in that capacity.”

Lujanne huffed at him. “Must you ruin my mystery?”

He rolled his eyes.

“I came up to help them find the miracle healer!  But then Runaan said it was just you.” Ellis said brightly. “Thank you for saving my Ava, however you did it.”

Lujanne chuckled warmly but she looked up at the rest of them with a concerned frown. “But you all came here looking for a healer?” She asked, her eyes lingering on Andromeda and Callisto’s wounded arms and the way Skor was leaning his weight away from one leg, Ram’s tattered glove and the deep bruising up Runaan’s bicep.  Even Rayla’s arm was dangerously bruised at this point. 

“We needed greater wisdom than we could find elsewhere, at least,” Ram said anxiously, gesturing to Ezran.

The boy pulled his backpack off his shoulders and presented it to Lujanne. “The help we need is real.  An illusion won’t help us.” He said, and opened the flap to reveal the dangerously dim dragon egg. 

Lujanne gasped. 

“It’s the egg of the dragon prince,” Andromeda explained without taking a moment to think. “It was stolen, not destroyed.”

“We saved it,” Rayla added, gesturing to herself and the princes. “Or, we were tryin’ t’ save it and return it to its mother, but there was a terrible accident, and-”

The guardian put a hand up in a stopping motion, and Rayla stopped, and Andromeda swallowed her own support as well, edging closer to look too at where the mage was examining the egg.  She touched it briefly and shook her head. “Its life is fading quickly.  The only chance of saving it now would be to hatch it.”

“How do we do that?” Callum asked urgently.

“Sky dragons can only be hatched in the eye of a storm,” The Guardian explained, and Andromeda’s heart plummeted to her feet. “And the weather is clear for miles.” 

“No.  That can’t be.  There has to be a way to save it.” Ezran insisted.

The light in the egg faded darker even as they spoke and Andromeda’s eyes burned, a lump forming in her throat.  She stepped over to Rayla as the girl’s eyes welled up and she shook her head with a silent snarl. “I dropped it,” Rayla growled. “This is all my fault.”

“Rayla . . .” Runaan began, and as Andromeda hugged her friend, he brushed his hand over her shoulders as well. “It was an accident, darling.”

“I let you all down.  I let the world down.” Rayla’s shoulders shook as she came close to sobbing. 

“You tried, Rayla.” Ezran insisted, even as his wide eyes welled up with tears as well. “You’re so good, and brave.” He hugged her too, and Rayla wrapped her arms around whoever she could reach and finally gave in to the sobs, dropping to her knees.  Andromeda let her go, stepping back to give Runaan room to gather his daughter and the child into a reassuring hug.  

Callisto’s glaive was dismantled and back in its sheaths, and their good hand was clenched tightly in Skor’s.  They both looked fragile at best, and tears were leaking from Skor’s eyes while Callisto still seemed frozen in a moment of fear.  Ram, though, Ram was trembling visibly with his hand clasped over his mouth. 

“We can’t go home,” He rasped when she looked at him, and he met her gaze. “If anyone finds out what we tried - and failed -”

The very air seemed to turn crushing as Andromeda realized he was right.  As long as they vanished, it could be assumed they were captured or somehow prevented from completing their mission.  If it was found that they had abandoned it, tried to bring home the dragon prince but in fact caused his death, Moonshadow Forest was doomed.  Their families - she would never see Elyrin again.  She could never go home, she couldn’t even be Ghosted, she would lose her husband, every plan they had made to have a family after this mission was over -

She’d only come on this damned mission because Runaan asked her to, requested she take just this one more before retiring to be a mother, because he needed her skills.  It had been selfish, he had wanted her because he knew she’d be one of the best to keep Rayla safe if the girl lost her nerve.  And now they were all doomed.  She couldn’t even be that angry at him, knowing she would have done the same in his position, knowing he was losing his own husband and chance at a future family too from this. 

Ram’s touch startled her but when she looked and met his eyes again his face crumpled with sympathy, and she gave in and hugged him tight.  Ram burrowed into her shoulder, trembling. “My father’s alone,” he choked into her coat. “I’m leaving him alone, Andromeda, I -”

“I know,” She hugged him tighter and squeezed her eyes shut as her tears burned tracks down her face. 

“I know what I have to do,” Callum’s voice was shockingly strong from beside them and while she couldn’t quite let go, she loosened her grip enough to look at him in her startled reaction.  Ram looked too, staying bent to be under her sight line.

The human was brandishing his Primal Stone like a weapon.  Andromeda didn’t really understand what he was doing. 

“Callum-” Runaan started, reaching one arm towards him around Rayla and Ezran.

It didn’t slow the boy down.  He raised the Primal Stone up and then dashed it upon the ground.  Andromeda flinched instinctively, the flash of light too intense to look at, as if lightning struck the ground where the stone shattered.  Wind whipped around them and thunder roared in her ears and she clutched Ram tighter, doing her best to keep her footing as they were suddenly blasted with winds so high they stole her breath. 

“What the hell did he do?” Ram was almost drowned out in the sudden burst of sound, even from right beside her, as lightning seemed to strike again towards the sky, and a violent storm built abruptly around them.

“No!” Ezran cried in the distance and Andromeda squinted through the wind.

The egg was rolling towards the cliff.  Rayla broke free of Runaan’s protective grasp and bolted for it on unsteady feet.  Even Andromeda hardly dared to rush in this weather. “Rayla!” Runaan called after her with real fear in his voice, but with Ezran holding onto him for balance he didn’t follow her. 

Andromeda started after them instead and Ram pulled her back down to kneel. “Someone needs to help her!” She snapped.

“No one else needs to fall off a cliff because she decided to be a hero!” Ram retorted. “More hands will only crowd the egg if she catches up to it anyway, it won’t help anyone catch it!”

Andromeda snarled at him but couldn’t fight free of his grip nor truly contest his logic, except that more hands meant more attempts to get to it or to help Rayla once she caught it.  Skor and Callisto and the Guardian were closer to them anyway.  When she looked, Rayla was actively running, and the egg toppled over the edge of the cliff.

Instead of stumbling after it, luckily, Rayla threw herself forward and swept the egg back towards her chest with her arm.  She fell onto her back with it clutched to her body and stayed there for a moment, chest visibly heaving even from a distance.

After a minute she rolled onto her knees and then her feet, staying low to the ground as she tried to push against the wind back towards the safety of the tree.  Skor and Callisto both moved to help her, but Skor’s weak ankle failed him and he ended up on his own knees out of reach.  Callisto batted a branch from the air with their glaive before it could strike Rayla, and folded it up to catch her shoulder and steady her once she got in reach.  Andromeda pushed Ram away, and this time he let go, both of them moving to support the girl now that she had the egg in hand and their course was clear.  Runaan passed Ezran’s support over to Callum and followed suit.

The five of them formed a windbreak around Rayla as best they could, Andromeda wincing as smaller sticks and stones blown by the wind struck her.  Runaan folded Rayla into his arms, the egg tucked safely between them as the rest of the assassins blocked them in.  Andromeda felt an unfamiliar hand and looked up to see Corvus had joined them as well in their efforts to shield the two young lives upon which the fate of the world rested.

It took several of them to keep Rayla from flying into the air as the wind began to pull them upwards.  Andromeda held onto whoever was in reach, helping to weigh her down, feeling the tug even under her own feet.  It crossed her mind to wonder what was their plan if anything else came up.  What happened next?

The wind abruptly began to die down, though the noise did not.  A circle formed around them with dust and debris still flew just as violently, but the center was relatively calm.  The eye of the storm.

The Guardian stood up from where her phoenix had been sheltering her, her hands folded in front of her in a prayer.  Lightning sparked through the wind and clouds entrapping them, and Rayla pulled away from Runaan enough for them all to see it spark across the shell of the egg as well.  The energy arced from the walls of wind to the egg, between them, and it seemed everyone had the thought at the same time as the elves all parted around Rayla.  Corvus moved half a beat later than the rest, pushed back by Runaan’s arm across his chest, but he went without trouble, and Rayla carefully placed the egg on the ground.

The lightning continued to pick up, striking the egg and crackling over its surface again and again.  Andromeda’s breath felt caught in her throat.  Was it working?  Was this what this was supposed to look like?

The egg righted itself without a touch, and light flashed around it in a rainbow.  The glow became more and more intense until it was blinding and Andromeda ducked away from it.  Lightning roared across its surface. 

All at once the wind and lightning seemed to dissipate, the glow fading from behind her eyelids.  A thud sounded as the egg once again hit the stone.  Andromeda didn’t dare open her eyes for a moment, and the tension in the air was palpable.  She held her breath. 

Ezran gasped in delight and she finally opened her eyes.

A crack had formed across the egg’s surface.

Another crack followed, and a bit of the shell fell away to reveal scales surrounding a closed dragon eye.  The rest of the shell broke free in larger sections as the little dragon stretched up for the first time, pawed with no coordination at its surroundings, and tumbled out of the basket formed by what was once an egg. 

Runaan was moving almost before anyone else recovered from the sight, producing a rag and waterskin from his pockets.  Andromeda couldn’t for the life of her figure out what those were for until Ezran cried, “His eyes are stuck.  He needs help!  Bait-”

“There’s no need for that,” Runaan chuckled, though his eyes were wide and his tone almost in awe, wetting the rag and warming it in his palm as he reached for the little dragon.  Rayla moved to help without prompting, helping the dragonlet sit up as he wiped gently at his eyes. “This little one isn’t the first I’ve seen into the world.” He glanced up at Rayla as he said it, though the girl’s focus was entirely on the dragon in their arms.

Andromeda wondered if Rayla knew she was the first one.  Runaan told the story often enough that it was common knowledge, but he rarely bothered to specify that Rayla’s birth was the first he had been a midwife for alone.

The dragonlet chirred curiously as he opened bright blue eyes.  He made grateful noises at the elves holding him, but looked around Runaan’s side at Ezran.  The young king was already kneeling nearby, and opened his arms.  Wriggling free of Runaan and Rayla, the dragonlet bounced over to him with his little wings flapping limply at his sides, and licked the boy’s face happily. 

“You know your own name!  Azymondias!” Ezran said brightly, and rested his forehead against the young dragon’s.

Azymondias.  A bond was being formed before their very eyes, and Andromeda felt as though the very air hummed with it.  This was no longer just a desperate quest to return something that was lost.  These two young kings held the future of the world in their hands and claws, and they were bound and determined - by something more than just will - to face it together.

“We’ll call you Zym.” Ezran said, abruptly reminding her that for all they were kings, for all they were changing the world simply by showing each other this brotherhood, they were still also just little boys.  Tears burned her eyes for an entirely different reason and she found herself with her hand over her own mouth now.

“That’s Rayla,” Ezran said helpfully, pointing at her, and the little dragon squeaked happily, tongue lolling out of his little mouth. “You almost blew off the mountain, but Rayla saved you!  And then all the others saved her too.  That’s her dad, Runaan.”

As he talked, Zym bounded back over to Rayla, stumbling as he got there, and Rayla gasped when he fell.  Thankfully, the little dragon just beamed up at her and licked her bruised hand. 

“Aww, it’s okay, little one.” Rayla said kindly, scratching under Zym’s chin. “The important thing is you.  One miracle is enough for me today.”

Nonetheless, the dragonlet bit the binding on her hand.  Andromeda gasped, all the warnings about never trying to break the binding screeching to the forefront of her mind.  She couldn’t understand why Runaan just knelt there and let it happen, eyes fixed upon the little dragon.

The binding slipped right off as though it weren’t magical, and Rayla remained upright, blinking down at her unbound hand.  Something loosened around Andromeda’s wrist, and her heart suddenly pounded as she looked down, her own binding falling off, still silver.  She looked around suddenly and found Skor and Ram both grasping their falling bindings, and Runaan’s coming off in his good hand as he smiled.  Callisto’s eyes were wide but their bound arm was the one tucked into their sling, so she couldn’t see theirs, but -

“How is this possible?” Ram asked in disbelief.

“Dragon Prince Azymondias is the subject of the spell that bound us,” Runaan replied, awe lacing his tone. “He was the only one capable of releasing us.  Since our subjects are usually dead - we thought he was dead - it’s never come up before.”

“But you knew?” Andromeda asked, suddenly understanding why he hadn’t moved to stop the little dragon.

Runaan nodded. “Until he hatched, it wasn’t possible - there was no hope to be shared.  But now . . .”

“You should send the shadowhawk.” Skor said roughly, wincing, and when they all looked at him he tucked his binding into his pocket and signed the rest. “The dragon queen will know as well as you did what the released bindings mean.  Send them all back to tell her the king is dead and the prince is alive.”

Rayla rubbed her wrist, laughing with disbelief as she looked down at it, and Andromeda certainly sympathized.  As blood rushed back to her hand it was so warm it almost burned, and she clenched and unclenched it experimentally.  She nuzzled into the little dragon. 

“Thank you.”

“It can wait,” Runaan said, softer, to Skor, and returned his attention to his daughter.  Andromeda looked over at Ram, finding him fully seated on the ground in shock, rubbing feeling back into his hand.  She sat down beside him as relief suddenly flooded her, realizing they were talking about communicating with home.

They could go home after all.

Skor spotted the pink glow across the sky before Ezran pointed it out, and something dark and cold settled in the pit of his stomach.  It settled all around them, the little pink lights dancing around like the ghosts of fireflies.

Even as Callum remarked, “It’s beautiful.” Skor wondered if that was what they were.

“They’re gentle!” Rayla said, tickling one with her fingers. “They even tickle a little.” She was beaming, soft and vulnerable now that they’d had a little time to recover from the shock of their bindings falling, and the dragonlet that now played in their midst. 

The glow toad tried and failed to eat one.  Skor looked at the other elves.  Andromeda was preoccupied smiling at the children.  Callisto had busied themself with finally pulling the binding out of their sling, and seemed not to have noticed the lights yet.  Ram was frowning at them though, and Runaan had stood up.

Skor followed his gaze to where the Guardian stood on the cliffside.  The three of them looked across the path of the pink light through the sky, where it remained illuminated, reaching for a source on another mountain peak days’ travel away.  Lujanne looked back at them, her lips pursed, and Runaan’s ears bent back with concern as his jaw visibly tightened.  Skor bit his tongue. 

It would take days for whoever was tracking them to reach this place.  As he exchanged a glance with Runaan, he understood the look his friend sent towards the children.  They would give the little dragon a few days to find his feet, and them all time to recover from their wounded hands.  While the remaining magic from their bindings would keep the damage from becoming permanent, their recovery would still take time.

Once they could move again, though, they would need to do so quickly.

[hearts4scottney]

TD GEN1 FAV MOVIE HCS

heather: mean girls (bc she thinks regina is a bad bitch who deserved so much better than what cady had did to her (also she thinks janice was cool as shit))

gwen: it 2017 (bc she had read the novel before the movie and was curious and as soon as she watched it she fell inlove with the cast and sfx)

courtney: unlocked (bc u cant deny girlie would like a good kdrama & her fav movie genre is ALWAAYYS gonna be mystery bc she likes to use the evidence and find out the culprit before the characters do)

duncan: texas chainsaw massacre (bc he loves a good gore fest) [but its actually highschool musical and hes too embarrassed to admit it]

trent: the notebook (bc he loved the romantic side of noah and the movie had inspired many songs of his)

cody: pixels (bc he thought it was pretty damn sweet that video games could basically come to life and he just found the movie absolutely hilarious)

dj: 101 dalmatians (bc dj is a sucker for animated films and the cuteness of the whole movie rlly stuck with him)

leshawna: bring it on (bc leshawna loves to watch ppl be on some stupid shit so long as it doesnt affect her - no matter how many times she watches it it never fails to make her howl out in laugher)

justin: cruella (bc justin loves a good villain story and finds cruellas outfits throughout the whole movie absolutely gorgeous)

harold: godzilla (bc he absolutely loves nerding out over dinosaurs and how incorrect godzilla is on the knowledge of monsters yet he appreciates the movies creativity and detail with a love/hate sort of thought process)

katie: the fault in our stars (bc she was absolutely heartbroken at the movies end and loved it sm.. also its the movie she & sadie had their first kiss to bc i said so!!)

sadie: the princess switch (bc when sadie was younger she always wanted to be a princess and fell in love with the idea of a normal girl being able to become royalty)

izzy: bride of chucky (bc izzy loves a good horror flick and tiffany was just the absolute embodiment of perfect energy to her)

owen: ted (bc the idea of a teddy bear coming to life and being fucking hilarious was just absolutely amazing to owen & it kind of made him want his stuffed animals to come alive </3)

geoff: teen beach (bc he likes musicals and refuses to admit it and rlly likes the movie plot)

bridgette: dolphin tale (bc bridgette absolutely loves dolphins sm and finds the entire plot of the movie so sweet)

lindsay: legally blonde (bc she sees herself in elle a LOT and projects onto her)

eva: real steel (bc boxing was pretty fucking cool to her already but adding in robots?? goddamn incredible in her eyes)

tyler: the adam project (bc he likes the plot, sfx, and the movie matches his sense of humor pretty well that he finds it rlly funny)

noah: escape room (bc he finds the puzzles cool and intricate, loves to guess who’s going to die in which room, and also likes when thriller characters have a good backstory)

alejandro: footloose (bc why wouldnt he like the movie abt dancing being forbidden? give me one good reason as to why not)

sierra: grease (bc she watched it with her mom when she was a kid and she absolutely adored the relationship between danny and sandy as well as the movies humor)

[obeymeoasis]

Demon Bros React: MC Defends Them From Nasty Remarks

Warnings: Explicit language, MC being mildly violent (throwing/kicking things).

Lucifer

Lucifer had just finished some paperwork for Diavolo and was on his way to R.A.D to deliver it.

In the hallway he could hear two demons talking and laughing. As he got closer he heard them say "Lucifer" and instinctively ducked into a nearby alcove.

"Lucifer's such an asshole." "I know, right? He acts like he's so much better than the rest of us when really, he just has a huge stick up his ass. It's no wonder he doesn't have any friends. Even his own brothers don't like him!" "He'll probably spend the rest of his life being Diavolo’s little bitch."

He would be lying if the comments didn't make him angry. But it was far from the worst thing he had heard about himself and would definitely not be the last time someone spoke ill of him.

With a weary sigh, Lucifer turned toward the south entrance where he could walk in order to avoid the demons. He could have strode past and glared at them menacingly. He could have made them grovel on their knees. But he was honestly exhausted and looked forward to this day being over as soon as possible. Plus, it would reflect poorly on Lord Diavolo if he started a fight with some lesser demons over this.

Suddenly, the chatter of the demons was interrupted by a loud thumping sound followed by the sound of one of the demons screeching in pain.

Lucifer quickly turned around to see- Oh no. You were standing in front of the demons, rage clear on your face. The demon who had yelled in pain was crouched on the ground holding his bruised shoulder. A History of the Devildom textbook was open on the ground, pages crumpled.

Did you... did you just throw a textbook at a demon?

Before he could even move, he heard your angry voice. "Listen here you fuckers. How dare you talk about Lucifer like that. He's one of the kindest, most intelligent, most thoughtful beings I've ever met. And you have no right to speak of him like that! I love him!"

Lucifer's heart burst at your declaration, his cheeks warming in pleasure. The two demons however, who had been gaping at you in shock, were now beginning to look murderous. The injured one stood up and slowly inched toward you, a vicious grin on his face. "Oh, is that so? And what the hell is a weak human like you going to do about it?"

You opened your mouth to speak but before you could say anything, Lucifer picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. "Love, I appreciate how you stood up for me. There's not many people who have done so for me before. But any more would cause trouble. And also, please don't throw textbooks at others, no matter how much you think they deserve it."

With a smug smile on his face, Lucifer began to walk toward the dorms. You, however, were struggling to turn your head around, still yelling and pointing angrily at the demons. "This isn't over! Sleep with your eyes wide open! You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"

He really did love you.

Mammon

Mammon was at the casino on a Monday night. It was lively as always, crowds of people playing group games and others drinking and mingling.

But for some reason, Mammon felt like being alone. He was in one of the more quiet corners, playing the slot machines.

He honestly should have been back at the dorms doing his homework. He was here because he felt like he had to, but his heart wasn't really in it. Mammon thought about packing it up early and texting you to see if you wanted to hang out.

The sudden sound of glass shattering broke through his thoughts. There was some sort of commotion going on and Mammon could hear angry yelling and cursing, some kind of argument.

Like many of the other customers, Mammon drifted toward the noise wanting to see what had happened. His heart sank when he saw you in the middle of the crowd, still in your R.A.D uniform, arguing with an older demon who Mammon recognized as a regular. They had played some games together before that always ended in angry accusations. The remains of a drinking glass lay shattered on the floor.

Mammon quickly rushed to your side. "MC, what the hell are you doing here?! What happened?" Up close he could see how livid you looked, you were trembling with fury.

The older demon opened his mouth while gesturing at his ruined clothes. "This bitch threw a drink at me! I should have them arrested! Do you know how much this tuxedo costs?" Ignoring him, you turned to face Mammon.

"Mams, Lucifer told me to check up on you and you weren't answering my calls. So I decided to come in person to make sure you were okay. But then I heard this asshole saying terrible things about you to his friends, calling you a liar and a cheater and all kinds of horrible names that you're not!"

Mammon was shocked to see you were struggling to fight off your tears, your lower lip quivering. "I know how caring and genuine and loving you are and I couldn't stand by while he said those things about you! None of it’s true!"

Overcome with emotion Mammon embraced you fiercely, shielding you from the other demon. "Oh, babe. Ya really are a special one.” Mammon gently stroked your hair and whispered in your ear. “I don't care about what he said, but thanks for sticking up for me. I love ya so much."

"Now let's make a run for it so that demon doesn't kill us."

Leviathan

Levi was slowly getting used to being in a relationship with you in public. At first, interactions were limited to the privacy of his room: cuddling and watching movies, gaming together, reading manga together. But now he looked forward to waiting for you after classes and walking home with you while holding hands.

His face got really red and he had a hard time making eye contact with you but still, he thought it was an improvement.

Right now he was waiting for you outside your classroom, scrolling through his D.D.D to kill time. Suddenly, he heard someone call your name.

“MC, you’re dating Levi right?” At the sound of his name he peeked in the window to see you cornered by three demons. He saw you nod. 

The demons began to barrage you with questions. “Why are you with a loser like that? Doesn’t he like never leave his room?” “He’s honestly the ugliest out of his family. I don’t believe that Levi and Asmo are related.” “You don’t actually find him attractive, do you?” “Are you with him ‘cause he’s like the easiest to control?” 

Each word felt like someone was piercing his heart. These were all things that he had thought or wondered himself, days when the darkness seemed to win over his mind. But to have them spoken out loud, especially in front of you, it was unbearable. It was as if his lowest and most shameful thoughts were being justified.

He was afraid to hear what your answers would be. Biting his lower lip, Levi turned to head home by himself but flinched at the loud sound of something slamming into the wall. He peeked inside the window again and saw you standing there, furious, your hands clenched into fists. You had apparently kicked one of the desks into the wall, black scuff marks clearly visible against the white paint.

“Alright, listen here you despicable fucks because I’m only going to say this once. My relationship with Levi is private, meaning all of your questions can be answered with ‘none of your damn business’. But since you’ve gone out of your way to waste my time, I’ll let you know this: Leviathan is more beautiful, inside and out, than any of you will ever be in your entire miserable lives. I honestly don’t think you deserve to breathe the same air as him and I hope Levi summons Lotan to devour the three of you."

Levi’s jaw was on the floor. He had never heard you speak that way. He had never had someone defend him so fiercely. His thoughts were interrupted by the classroom door suddenly slamming open as you walked out."

“Oh Levi, tell me you didn’t hear anything just now.” Your eyes were wide and you looked at him nervously.

Levi grabbed your hand and held it tight between two of his own. “I did, but it’s alright. Thanks for what you said.”

“Anything for my Lord of Shadows.”

Satan

Satan was heading to the library, your usual after-school spot. Some days you two spent hours there doing homework, reading, or just chatting quietly about your day before heading to dinner.

As he approached the table he saw you sitting down with a stranger seated opposite you. Leaning closer he was relieved to see it was a classmate you were friendly with, someone he knew you hung out with occasionally.

Satan was about to say hello when he stopped at the mention of his name. "MC, are you sure it's wise to be this involved with Satan?"

He quickly ducked behind a nearby bookshelf. Satan usually wasn't one to eavesdrop like this but the question concerned him.

"MC, I'm asking you for your sake. Satan is dangerous. He's violent and cruel. There are rumors about him beating up other demons and doing horrible things to them. What if he tries to hurt you too?"

Satan flinched. Sure his wrath had led him to do some destructive things before, but it was never without reason. Is this how you saw him as well? His thoughts began to spiral. What if you grew scared of him? Of his wrath? What if you flinched at his touch? That would hurt more than any of the rumors that swirled about him. 

Satan saw you take a deep breath before speaking. "Well, I appreciate you talking to me about this. I know you meant the best and were just thinking about me. But I promise you, you have nothing to be worried about. Satan would never hurt me."

He saw your friend shake their head, exasperated. "But you don't know that! What if one day he can't control himself and has an outburst or something?"

You replied carefully. "Satan is gentle. Incredibly so. He always treats me with nothing but respect and kindness. And Satan's not some kind of monster. He knows how to control himself and his powers. I love him. I really do. And until he decides to stop loving me, I want to be by his side."

He saw your friend huff irritably and get up to walk away. "Suit yourself, MC. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Satan took this as his cue to walk over. Your eyes brightened at the sight of him and you started to ask him about his day, acting as if nothing had happened. Satan played along for a bit, but then reached across the table for your hand and began playing with your fingers.

His hand was shaking. "I'll never stop loving you, you know. For as long as I live you're the only one for me. I love you, MC."

Asmodeus

Asmo was thrilled when you said you wanted to go dancing with him because he was usually the one pestering you to do things. He was having so much fun with you tonight, twirling you around on the dance floor and marveling how beautiful you looked under the shimmering lights of the club.

He was beginning to feel a bit hot, however, and excused himself to the bathroom, making sure you were safe on of the couches with a bottle of water in your hand.

Asmo had just finished touching up his makeup and adjusting his outfit when he heard two demons near the entrance of the bathroom gossiping loudly about him.

“Did you see what he was wearing tonight? He might as well have come naked instead of wearing those scraps of fabric he thinks counts as an outfit.” “My friend slept with Asmo once. She said he’s super easy, he’s willing to pretty much sleep with anyone.” “I bet him and that human won’t last another week. Once he’s done with them he’ll trash ‘em and move on to the next one, like he always does.”

Being the Avatar of Lust meant that Asmo had heard these kinds of comments before, whispered in the hallways at R.A.D or the dark hallways of nightclubs. It never really got easier listening to them though, and he realized he was biting down hard on his lower lip, his nails digging into his palm. 

Asmo contemplated what to do. He didn’t want to keep you waiting by yourself outside but he also didn’t want to run into the demons talking about him. Their comments affected him more than he thought they would. Maybe it was because you were involved. He wouldn’t do that to you. You knew that right? He would never treat you like a plaything.

Taking a deep breath and steeling his nerves Asmo schooled his face into an expression of careless indifference. He took a step outside, ready to greet his "fans", but was surprised to see that you had gotten there first.

And what a sight you were. Despite being much shorter than the two demons, it seemed you were the least bit intimidated. Your glare was ice cold as you gestured wildly at the two of them, and moving closer Asmo realized you were screaming.

"How fucking dare you say such vile things? You don't know the first thing about Asmo. You're really going to shame someone for what they wear?! For what they do in the privacy of their bedroom?!"

You pointed angrily at the demons, who seemed too stunned to move or say anything. "People like you make me fucking sick. You're despicable! Talking as if you're so high and mighty when all you do is judge others! How dare you? You cowards!"

Asmo could see you were getting more and more enraged and your hands were beginning to tremble. He leapt forward to stand between you and the demons and put his hands gently on your shoulders. Once he saw that you were okay, he gave you a passionate kiss, his mouth hot and needy against yours.

You kissed him back for a moment but moved away to hiss, "Karens, Asmo! Karens in the fucking Devildom, who would have thought?!"

"I know, darling. Let's head home. We can have a nice, relaxing bubble bath together."

Beelzebub

Beel was looking through the menu, deciding between a couple of his favorite dishes. It was your one year anniversary and despite his insistent protests, you had remained firm in your decision to pay for that night’s meal. Ever since you and Beel began dating, he pretty much always paid for your meals together because of how much he ate. But tonight, you wanted to be the one to treat him for once.

Beel knew you had secretly been saving up Grimm and he’d feel so guilty if you spent it all on him. Which was why he was trying to decide between a couple of different things, when normally he would have ordered everything on the page.

“Babe, please order whatever you want. I can practically see the thoughts turning in your head. I told you that I wanted to pay for tonight and I’m going to keep that promise. I want this to be a special night for us, so don’t worry about it.” Before he could protest, you called the waiter over.

Beel sighed and knew there was no changing your mind on this. You were incredibly stubborn when you wanted to be. He rattled off his usual order as the waiter frantically scribbled down notes, struggling to keep up. Once finished, Beel handed over the menus and smiled at how cute you looked, a mixture of pride and smugness on your face.

But your expression soon turned sour as you heard the conversation from a couple sitting a few tables over. Their voices were intentionally loud and they kept sneaking glances at your table as if to watch your reactions.

“Oh my lord, honey did you see how much food that guy just ordered? What an absolute pig!” “I saw, darling. I honestly pity his date right now, they must be soooo embarrassed.” “Is there anyone who wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen in public with such a selfish glutton?”

Beel’s heart felt like it had sunk. Embarrassed? Was MC embarrassed to be seen with him? Panicking, Beel thought back to all of the dates he’d had with MC so far. He realized that they ate out a good majority of the time they hung out, with Beel eating his normal enormous portions each time. Oh no, what had he done?

Head bowed, Beel slowly looked up at you, afraid to see what kind of expression you were making. But to his surprise, you didn’t look embarrassed or ashamed at all. You looked like you were going to murder someone.

He watched as you cleared your throat and then began speaking even more loudly than the couple had been. “OH BEEL, MY HANDSOME, KIND, LOVING, STRONG, SEXY, TALENTED BOYFRIEND. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU’RE HONESTLY SO AMAZING AND ONE OF THE QUALITIES I LOVE ABOUT YOU MOST IS THAT YOU’RE NOT A JUDGMENTAL ASSHOLE WHO MAKES RUDE INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS TO STRANGERS ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS!” 

Beel felt his lips inch into a smile and he flushed with amusement and happiness. But you weren’t finished just yet. “EXCUSE ME WAITER?” 

Your waiter practically ran to the table and looked between you two nervously, then at the couple glaring daggers in your direction. “COULD YOU PLEASE BRING US ANOTHER MENU? MY BOYFRIEND WASN’T FINISHED WITH ORDERING WHAT HE WANTS. OH BEEL, I LOVE HOW MUCH YOU EAT. HOW COULD SOMEONE BE EMBARRASSED OF A WONDERFUL GUY LIKE YOU?”

Beel took the menu and began listing some more foods at random, not really paying attention. He was too busy thinking about how much he loved you, how nobody aside from Belphie had ever stood up for him like that, had protected him like that. His cheeks felt like they were about to split from how much he was smiling.

When the waiter finally left, looking frazzled, Beel made his way over to your side of the table. He knelt down and nuzzled into your neck before giving you a tender kiss on your forehead. “MC, you’re amazing.”

Belphegor

Belphie had to admit, the gardens were a pretty nice place for a nap. Earlier in the day you had practically dragged him outside claiming that you were bored of sleeping in his room. As if that was even possible.

At first he was pretty annoyed that you were making him get up and move around. But the newly washed picnic blanket, the cool breeze rustling through the trees, and the light smell of flowers in the air all contributed to a very nice environment for a nap.

Belphie rested his head on your lap, already feeling his eyelids growing heavier. Your fingers gently combed through his hair, lightly scratching against his scalp, and he practically purred.

He guessed he had been asleep for about ten minutes when he awoke to the sound of your voice and something prodding against his knee.

Irritated at the disturbance, Belphie looked up to see two R.A.D students he recognized for always causing trouble. He looked over to see you scowling and guessed you had been telling them to leave so they wouldn't wake him up.

One of the students leered down, blocking out the light, and used the tip of his foot to poke Belphie's knee again. "Well the two of you make an odd fucking pair, huh?” He sneered, “Personally, I don’t date people who have MURDERED me in the past but what do I know? Love works in all kinds of mysterious ways.” You flinched as if someone had slapped you and Belphie growled, his hands curling into fists.

The other student leaned down to clap Belphie on the shoulder. “I gotta admit I didn’t know you had it in you, chief! I always thought you were...” He gave Belphie a once-over before adding “Well, everyone thinks you’re a bit fucking useless, eh? But I’m glad to see you’re capable of something.”

Belphie opened his mouth to reply venomously but was interrupted by the most horrifying sound coming from your mouth. It sounded like a combination of wailing and screeching as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. It was difficult to hear what exactly you were saying because of how hard you were crying, but Belphie could make out “How could you say that?!” and “Leave him alone!” among the screams. 

The two students had their hands over their ears, their faces twisted into grimaces of pain. One shouted, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Worried, Belphie put a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you down but you shrugged it off, continuing to cry and wail. Pretty soon other students began gathering around you, whispering amongst themselves and looking to see what all the noise and commotion was about. It was difficult to ignore you when you kept yelling things like “You’re horrible! Horrible! Leave us alone!” 

The two instigators looked at each other for a brief moment before deciding to run off, not wanting to get involved any further. And as soon as they left, it was like a switch had been turned off. You stopped crying and screaming immediately. If he hadn’t been there from the beginning, Belphie never would have guessed that you had been crying. Your face was perfectly calm and you sat relaxed with your hands folded, the picture of innocence.

“Belphie, don’t worry about what those two idiots said. We’ve talked about it enough and we’ve both worked it out, haven’t we? And you’re not useless. You know how much I love you and care about you. You mean so much to me.” 

Belphie leaned over to take your hand in his trembling one. He reached down to brush a stray leaf out of your hair before whispering, “MC, you’re fucking terrifying sometimes. I love you.”

[supercantaloupe]

Magic Flute Thoughts

i liked nathalie stutzmann's conducting a lot more in this than i did for don giovanni. granted i am much less familiar with zauberflote than i am with don g so i'm not like hyper picky about tempi or whatever yet but anyway i liked her

flute soloist! glockenspiel soloist! FLUTE SOLOIST!!!

i just like lawrence brownlee man idk what to tell you. i think he's neat. i think he's singing something here in the winter and i'll definitely try to get tickets to that if so

i really liked erin morley as pamina! actually i thought all the main cast did a good job no one stuck out to me as being particularly Amazing or Bad. kathryn lewek got a HUGE applause (and standing o) tho and i mean kudos it was her fiftieth performance like damn.

interesting choice to play the queen as physically frail as she did; i think it works and the performance is very good, although the heavy age makeup sticks out a bit on hd cameras lol

the queen's three bitches. i'm free on friday (twirling hair)

also i hope those three kids who played the old men get to borrow their outfits again come october because they have the funniest possible halloween costume opportunity in the world now

VERY funny to me that papageno's costume makes him look like he's drenched in bird shit

okay speaking of costumes. do i 100% Get It with the like suits and colors and everything....not really but i don't think i can say that i Get a lot about this opera tbh. what i did get was the very obvious dark/light symbolism going on with pamina and tamino wearing white and the queen and her cronies wearing all black. and i think zauberflote does benefit from some heavy handed symbolism bc what else is this show about actually without that....then again the fact that sarastro and his priests or whatever are all in dark colors too kind of undermines that a little so 🤷‍♀️

same thing with the whole reason vs superstition thing too like...sure you can claim Truth And Reason as good all you want sarastro but the constant invocation of isis/osiris and Mysterious Rituals kind of undermine what you're going for there lol. i think my point is that i don't feel like i really Get what zauberflote is like...going for, thematically. i mean i get the Themes but not a clear Point. maybe if i was an enlightenment era freemason i'd get it lol but alas i am not

that said......i didn't go into this one expecting a rock solid plot and honestly who does....it's zauberflote....it is very obviously not designed to work or be interpreted on a literal level and i appreciate that it never tries to ground itself in reality. that its plot and characters exist in a completely fantastic realm works and it works with the weird plot and its vague theming.

which itself is of course accomplished through good design and holy SHIT. this is truly the shining strength of this production. the design is INCREDIBLE.

the orchestra isn't totally onstage but they are raised up in the pit to the point where they are fully visible the whole show. i love an onstage orchestra so this made me very happy. and it allowed for actor/orchestra interaction which i also love!! like tamino coming down into the pit to hand the eponymous magic flute to the flute soloist and bring him onstage with him (i was wondering during the overture why the flutes and oboes were swapped places seating wise -- it's so the flutist can easily get onstage! delight!!), or when papageno brings his glockenspiel to the percussion soloist to play (the player being 'missing' at his last solo, making papageno play by himself, and he enters late with a cup of coffee...lmaoo). also stutzmann giving a big ol grin and thumbs up to papageno during his duet with papagena at the end. so sweet

also blocking around the orchestra seating of the audience and up the aisles! so much fun we love immersive theater

the set itself had this big flat platform in the center hoisted at each corner by a cord so it could raise/lower/tilt in any direction. made for some very neat staging with levels and slants and i enjoyed that, especially since the production forgoes any kind of traditional set pieces

papageno's birds were done in such a beautiful way omg...they have an ensemble in black wandering around stage and following him about when he's doing stuff and they each have a 'bird' made of a folded in half piece of paper that they flutter about stylistically (some of the orchestra members have some too that they flutter during his entrance aria). description does not do it justice, this was a beautiful way to stage it...so simple and evocative.

the designer was saying in the interview between acts that this production was meant to combine the high and low tech aspects of theater to connect present performance practice with the opera as it was originally done (hence the visible orchestra) and i looove that philosophy. and it worked here really well i think

THE FOLEY AND PROJECTION ARTISTS. STARS OF THE SHOW. i am not joking

they get to be onstage (albeit off to the sides) the whole show too and i love it. i love that the cameras on the broadcast kept cutting to them periodically to show off their work.

the use of live projection art was really well done -- he managed to make Writing On A Chalkboard captivating!!

and the foley. the FOLEY!!! i've done sound design and a bit of live foley before so i have a soft spot but wooow she did an amazing job and it was SO much fun to see all the props she played with to make the scenes come alive sonically. plus her little interactions with papageno were very funny. give her a tony award

i do think there were a couple of small moments here and there that didn't entirely work for me or a scene or two that dragged out longer than necessary but overall it was a joy to watch. the beautiful and whimsical design of the whole thing totally makes it worthwhile even if the plot itself is a bit lacking.

easily THE coolest production design i've seen the met do yet, and the best lighting and projections from them for sure. when it comes on demand i am forcing anyone i can to watch it with me bc that SET! the LIGHTING! the SOUND! the STAGING! it ticks all my boxes it hits all my buttons it was MADE for ME SPECIFICALLY

[allthingsarmin]

nerd!armin x popular bimbo girl!reader?

the reader needs a tutor so she asks the smartest boy on campus and they have a “study session” in the library

Thank you for your request! I hope you like it! (ALSO: I’m so sorry this took so long to write omgmgg please forgive me) ~ I also would like to write a better version of this later. Though I'm in love with this prompt, I feel I didn't write the smut part that well.

Minors DNI! NSFW below the cut. Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader.

_________________________

At this point, Armin’s legs were burning, his heart racing and hands uncontrollably shaking, while you were practically out breath, your lungs tightening as you released yet another hearty laugh and not caring about the sweat running down your forehead. Neither you nor Armin expected to be running away from the librarian at 2am in the morning on the cold, campus sidewalk, your hair and makeup questionably messy and his shirt noticeably unbuttoned with hickeys staining his neck. However, the thrill of it all was something you didn’t know you both needed…

Earlier:

“Y/n?” Armin questioned, waving his sharpened pencil in front of your face. “Are you paying attention?” He awkwardly laughed as he scratched the back of his neck. You look up at him, battering your mascara-covered eyelashes at him. “Ahh… I have no idea what’s going on,” you sighed.

Armin wanted to bang his head against the library table. He knew it would be difficult teaching the ‘campus bimbo,’ but he didn’t know it would be this hard… yet there he was. 1am on a Thursday, the test tomorrow, and you still couldn’t grasp the basics of quadratic functions.

“Why don’t we take a break?” he suggested, loudly dropping his pencil on the table, leaning back in his chair, and adjusting his disheveled collar poking out of his blue sweater.

“Okay!” you giggled mindlessly, turning to face him in your chair as you twirled your hair in your fingers. “Even though I’ll probably fail the test tomorrow, thank you for teaching me!” you exclaimed, fiddling with your compact mirror and checking your dolled-up face.

Armin tensed up at your backhanded words. Pushing his hair back out of frustration, he cursed the fact he was wasting his time with such an ai-headed girl. “Y-you’re welcome,” he hastily said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Why didn’t he say no to your study session - if you could even call it a study session - ? Even though Armin was the school nerd, it’s no surprise to him that you came and asked him for help because, well… Everyone does that - always taking advantage of Armin - only talking to him because they want to use his neat, color-coded notes, only inviting him to parties so that he would later help them study.

You felt bad for Armin. Though you couldn’t deny he was way too uptight, everyone did make fun of him for every little thing; the way he dressed like a professor, how he was always so punctual, the way he was the first to raise his hand when the teacher asked a question, how he came extra prepared to class with extra pencils.

But being so close to him now, this was the first time you realized how handsome he actually was. His turquoise veins protruding from his soft, pale skin… his slender fingers gently holding his flashcards, his toned muscles peeking their way through his rolled up sleeves and making his clothes just a little tight, the sharpness of jawline contrasting with his kind, bright smile, the way his ocean blue eyes stared intently with such passion, and his thick, golden hair growing to his eyebrows, allowing his cute ears to shyly show themselves while his undercut beautifully shaped his face… he was beautiful.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you suddenly asked.

Armin was taken aback by this question. No one had ever asked him this nor did any one seem to have any interest in his personal life whatsoever.

“No,” he paused, “I don’t have time for that stuff…” he trailed off. Armin never had a girlfriend, and thinking about it now, he never really had any crushes. He was way too busy keeping up with his grades, extra curricular activities, and student council. It would be practically impossible for him to keep such close relations with his kind of responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean he’s not lonely… his arms aching for someone to hold, his heart cold due the absence of warmth of a person he loves.

Armin didn’t bother asking you if you had a boyfriend. You were the most popular person on campus, partying with countless dudes every weekend, hanging out with a large group of girls at the mall nearly every day, your phone buzzing so much during class that your professor told you multiple times to turn it off, and you were pretty - your hair was always done in a pretty style, your makeup (though a bit slutty) always brought out the best features of your face, your nails were always painted, your skin was smooth and silky, and your perfume scent was addicting. Not only that but your clothes showed off your body so well; your skirt that was just a little short allowed people to see your cute panties when you bend over to pick something up, and your shirt that was barely even a shirt was always cropped above your waist and showed off your bouncy, plush cleavage… so of course you had a boyfriend. But even though Armin was an incredibly focused nerd, he couldn’t deny that your sweet smell, tight clothes, and lipstick-covered lips made him lustful.

“Too busy for that stuff?! Aren’t you lonely? It’s like you don’t even know how to have fun,” you chuckle, jokingly hitting his shoulder which happened to be really muscular underneath his sweater.

“Haha yeah,” he said, seemingly uninterested in where you were going with this.

“If you’re so busy, does that mean you don’t have time to masturbate?” you giggled, covering your plump mouth with your hand and fluttering your eyelashes at him.

Armin became extremely flustered as tints of red washed over his body in waves.

“W-what?” he stuttered. “Why are you asking me these questions? We are supposed to be studying!” he quietly shrieked, looking away to break eye contact with you and playing with the watch on his wrist.

“Haha, I am just joking. You’re such a nerdy boy, just want to make you blush,” you sincerely smiled.

“W-well I am a young college student, so obviously I - I do that from time to time thanks to p-porn,” he stammered.

“Woah woah wait. Someone as uptight and rigid as you watches porn?” you harshly laughed, genuinely shocked. You scooted your chair closer to him and leaned into his neck, your hot breath caressing his skin and your hair resting upon his shoulder. “What kind of porn does this nerd like to watch?” you inquired, widely grinning as you saw how embarrassed Armin had become.

On the inside, Armin was fuming, mostling frightened that he had gotten himself into an embarrassing loop with no escape that would most likely be gossiped about amongst the popular students, but mostly angry that some dumb, slutty bitch was wanting to pry into his personal life, not even appreciating the fact that he spent countless hours in the library helping you study to no avail because you couldn’t pay attention if your life depended on it… that this same dumb, slutty bitch was just getting her fun from teasing some nerd who is taken advantage of and forgotten by everyone… angry that you - with your pretty makeup, plump lips, short skirt, and overflowing cleavage - weren’t paying the price for your teasing.

Suddenly, Armin sat up in his chair, his muscles tensing through his clothes, and an aggravated look forming across his face, wrinkling his brows. He quickly takes a fistful of your hair and pulls you close to his face, allowing you to see the different shades of blue in his eyes and his soft, blond eyelashes. His innocent, geeky look is nowhere to be found on his face as he intensely stares into your eyes.

“It just so happens that this nerd likes to watch useless, empty-headed bimbos like you get their pussies abused,” he said, dominance seething from his teeth as his mint breath hits your face. Before you even have time to think, Armin unbuttons his slacks and practically forces your mouth on his hard, pretty cock.

Watching you gag and choke on his cock with saliva dribbling down your chin made him laugh. “You’re gonna have to be a little quieter, slut, we’re in a library remember?” he coos. He abruptly pulls you off his cock, taking in the sight of his lipstick-stained tip and the mascara tears streaming down your face. His treatment was so harsh and so sudden, making you miss the ‘nicer’ and ‘quieter’ Armin, but you couldn’t deny his sudden dominance made your aching cunt flood with arousal.

Before doing anything else, Armin scans the library, making sure no one is around. Grabbing your wrist, he forces you to sit on his lap, facing him on top of the library chair. Everything happened so quickly, barely even leaving you time to think, barely leaving you time to think that Armin was using your body to relieve his anger and frustration, not leaving you time to realize how sopping wet your needy cunt actually was.

Sitting atop his lap, he spreads your plush, soft thighs, exposing the fact that you didn’t wear any panties to this study session, causing Armin’s eyes to widen.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised that a whore like you wouldn’t wear anything underneath your short skirt to our little ‘play date,’” he snickers. He leans close to your ear, softly biting your neck. “It’s almost like you were asking to be fucked by me.”

You don’t know what to say. Your mind is so empty, fuzzy, and shocked that the only thing you can do is comply when he demands that you ride his cock. Armin lets out a low groan from the bottom of his throat as your tight, warm pussy encloses his thick cock. You let a pathetic whimper as he begins to thrust up into you, and Armin gives you a glare, reaching up and tightening his hands around your throat. “Remember, you have to be quiet, or are you too dumb to remember that?” he sinisterly smiles.

Armin begins to harshly thrust into you as you wrap your arms around his neck, holding onto dear life as he deeply penetrates your spongy, sensitive walls. He slithers his slender hands into your shirt and starts toying with your nipples and pinching them when you’re being too loud.

Groping your ass, he whispers in your ear, “you know, I don’t even know why you’re in college… you’re so dumb. Why don’t you just drop out and be my little slut for when I come back after class, huh?” You sink your head into the crook of his neck, embarrassment coming over you at the same time as pleasure fills your walls when he tells you those mean words.

He grabs your hair, forcing you to look at him. Your hair is a tangled mess, your makeup completely smeared, and your eyebrows furrowed as your innocent-looking eyes beg for some type of release.

“F-fuck, you look so dirty,” he groans, leaning his head back.

“And you look like two students who are going to be in so much trouble…”

Both of you tense up and look behind you to find the librarian staring daggers into your souls.

Immediately, you hop off of Armin’s dick, gathering your things as he struggles to pull up his pants. Both of you at an ungodly speed bolt out of the library doors. Yeah, getting potentially banned from the library would suck, but maybe it was something you both needed. Armin needed to learn to loosen up, have some fun, and you needed to learn to take things seriously and maybe just put in a little more effort.

“Ya’know, it’s kind of late. We can go back to my dorm, and I can help you study for maybe another half hour… if you want,” Armin shyly asks as you both continue running down the sidewalk.

“What about the other half hour?” you questioned.

Armin’s face grows red. “We can finish… chemistry…”

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

howard stern

I'M BACK BESTIES!!!!! i'm not totally back to my normal writing, but I finally got through a whole piece! anyways I really liked this and i hope you do too :)

warnings: howard stern being a bitch, talk of weight & body image

word count: 2.1k

"Hello Harry, how are you doing today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Harry answered with a smile. He was on the Howard Stern Show, his first interview since Stevie had been born. He hadn't really wanted to; Howard was kind of a prick. Everyone knew this, but Jeff was convinced this was the right move. He said it would be good for Harry to get back into the swing of things, and no one else was available on short notice. In the end, Harry only agreed because you had pushed him to, reminding him it wouldn't be a very long interview and then he wouldn't have to interact with the abrasive man again for a long time.

"That's good to hear," Howard said. "How have you been these past couple months? Have you been getting anything done?"

"Not much that's music related, honestly," Harry laughed. "I've been busy with family things."

"Yeah, you've kind of been hiding away from the world for a while here, what's that about?"

"Well, as I'm sure you already know, my wonderful wife had a baby recently, so I've been pretty busy... just navigating the world of fatherhood." A smile crept onto his face at the mention of Stevie.

"That's a lot, isn't it? Babies are awful at that age," Howard chuckled.

"Uh- I wouldn't say awful," Harry's smile dropped a little and he sighed internally. He already knew how the rest of this interview would go: thinly veiled insults, questions that were way too personal, and having to pretend he didn't want to get up and walk out of the room. But he knew that wouldn't be a very good look for him, so he gritted his teeth and tried to think of happy things. Specifically, the fact that he would get to go home to his wife and baby in less than two hours. "She's a very sweet baby, we're completely in love with her."

"Yeah, sometimes they're cute, but mostly they just cry and wake you up in the night, don't they?" Howard asked smugly, as if he knew Harry's baby better than Harry did.

"Well, of course she wakes up in the night sometimes. She's hungry, can't blame her for wanting food, can I?" Harry asked, trying to speak lightly and with a smile, but he could feel his patience slipping. He was ready to go home and he was not in the mood to pretend to be happy when this man was clearly insulting his child.

"Sure, I just wish babies could be a bit less annoying when they want something."

Harry nodded, plastering a smile that hopefully looked real on his face.

"So, besides the annoying baby, how's the family? Everybody healthy over there?"

Harry nodded. "Everybody's happy and healthy. A little sleep deprived, of course, but we're managing well, i think. And by we, I mean Y/N. She's truly... just amazing. I have no idea how she does it- she's the one keeping everything together. There's no way I could do any of this without her."

"Yeah, she seems pretty great! I remember though, at first we were all a little uncertain about her. She's not exactly like the other women you have a history with, is she?"

"She's-" Harry started talking, but Howard cut him off.

"I just mean, we were used to seeing you with models and actresses and the like, so it was a bit of a shock to see you with one of us commoners, you know?"

Harry huffed a small laugh, still trying to sound polite. "When you love someone, that's all that matters."

"Right, of course, but don't you get bored sometimes? You stopped going out so much when you got with her, almost like she was keeping you captive or something," He laughed.

"Are you asking me if my wife forced me to stop hanging out with my friends?" Harry squinted at the man.

"No, of course not, but..." He leaned closer with a malicious gleam in his eye, like he was about to hear some big secret. "Did she?"

"No," Harry said firmly. "She did not."

"Okay, okay, if you say so," Howard put his hands up, but then he leaned in again and spoke in an exaggerated whisper. "Blink twice if you need help."

Harry played it off with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's good," Howard laughed loudly. "Anyways, let's move on. Since you two are supposedly so happy-" He paused again, as if he expected Harry to cut it and give some dramatic confession about how terrible his relationship was behind closed doors. Harry only raised his eyebrows, signaling him to continue talking. "Tell us about that. When did you two get married again?"

"Almost 2 years ago," Harry said with a smile. "Our anniversary is coming up, actually, it's in 3 weeks."

"Oh wow, you guys moved fast with the whole kid thing, huh?"

Harry nodded. "We both knew we wanted kids and were ready to have them, so... yeah."

"Yeah, no point wasting time, right? How was Y/N after having the baby- Stevie, right?"

"Yeah, her name is Stevie," Harry smiled. "She was good. Again, she's amazing for going through that. She's- i'm just so lucky to have her."

"Did she bounce back right away?"

"I'm sorry?" Harry's brow furrowed.

"You know, did she get her figure back fast? I know that's a big issue for some women," He laughed again.

"Are you-" All traces of Harry's smile were gone now.

"I just mean, I hope she's working to get rid of the baby weight," Howard said casually, as if his words weren't extremely rude. "Just to make sure she can fit into her old clothes!"

Harry cleared his throat. He knew he had to speak very carefully, since this was something you had been very self conscious about. "Well, the two of us are concerned with the new life she brought into the world, not some old clothes, but she looks as beautiful as ever. The amount of pressure women face to live up to certain standards is disgusting to me, and it's especially bad for new mothers. My wife just went through an incredible process, she grew an entire human being in 9 months, then went through labor and the delivery, and she's being told to worry about her figure? That's wrong."

"Right, right, of course," Howard smiled, but Harry could tell he was annoyed at how he couldn't be tricked into speaking badly about his wife.

"I'm really over the whole thing, honestly," Harry said. "And I'm not even the one going through it."

Howard laughed nervously, seeming to finally take the hint that Harry was uncomfortable and annoyed with the topic. "Let's talk about your latest movie, why don't we?"

Harry was closed off through the rest of the interview; anyone could see that. He laughed less, his arms stayed crossed, and his answers were short. He was professional, but it went no farther than that. There was no more playful joking or easy conversation, just Harry trying to get through the interview as fast as he could. When it finally came to a close after his final song, Harry couldn't pack up fast enough. He made sure to say a polite thanks and goodbye before he hurried out to his car.

He sighed deeply before picking up his phone to call you.

"Hi baby!" your happy voice came from the other end. That was good, he assumed that meant you hadn't listened to the interview yet.

"Hi love," he smiled, his mood already improving just from hearing your voice. "Did you listen to the interview?"

"I have been- I couldn't right at the beginning, Stevie was crying, but I caught the end. Why?"

"Why was she crying?" Harry ignored your question, instantly worrying about his baby.

"Sometimes babies cry for no reason, Harry. She's okay, I promise. Anyways, what's up with the interview?"

Harry sighed. "Just the normal for a Howard Stern interview- he asked some very personal and rude questions. Just prepare for that."

"What else is new?" You laughed. "Are you coming right home?"

"Yeah, unless you need anything?"

"Nope, I think I'm good. See you soon!"

"Love you, bye," Harry said, ending the call and starting the car to begin the drive home.

-----

"I'm home," Harry called, removing his coat as he walked in the door.

"We're in here," you responded, not moving from your spot on the couch where you were nursing Stevie.

Harry walked in, a small smile on his face as he looked at the two of you.

"Hi," He sighed, plopping down on the couch next to you.

"That bad, huh?" You asked, taking in his dejected tone.

He hummed in response, leaning his head on your shoulder. "Those interviews are... always something."

"Yeah, I only caught the end, but you sounded pretty upset. What did he say?"

"He just..." Harry shook his head. "I don't think you should listen to it."

You turned your head to look at him. "Why not?"

"He's just very rude and pushy, as always."

"Yeah, i figured, but I wanted to hear your songs," you argued with a small frown. "Did he say something really bad, or...?"

"He just makes some very impolite comments about you and our family."

"Oh," You nodded lightly. "I think I'll be okay, baby. I appreciate you trying to protect my feelings, but I'm used to it at this point, and I really couldn't care less about his opinion of me."

"Alright," he sighed. "If you're sure." He pulled out his phone, checking his email and going through some messages while you started the interview from the beginning. You could hear him grumbling under his breath and huffing every time Howard said something rude, but you ignored it, just laying a hand on his leg to calm him down.

By the time it was over, Harry was clearly not too happy. "I can't believe I went back on that show," he shook his head. "I'm never doing that again. I'm so sorry about what he said about you, I honestly should have just left-"

"It's okay," you cut him off with a smile. "Also, it was kind of hot to hear you get mad at him."

"Yeah?" He smiled back. "I thought I was very tame, actually. I wanted to say some other things, but I figured that wouldn't be a very good look for me."

"Right, but the way you attacked him but stayed professional... very hot," you laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," He smiled, turning his head to kiss your cheek in return. "Is she done? I really need to hold her after the day I've had," He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back.

"I'm sure," you laughed, handing Stevie over to him and pulling your shirt back into place. "She's all yours."

"Hi baby," he cooed, holding her close to his chest. "I missed you so much."

Stevie yawned in response, cuddling into him.

"Oh, you missed me too?" He grinned. "See that? She missed me."

"She did," You agreed. "She was looking around when she heard your voice on the interview, she wanted to know where you were."

"I'm sorry," he pouted down at her. "I'll never go away again, and I'll never let the bad man be mean to you again."

"I don't think she's too upset about it, Harry," you laughed. "She is only 3 months old. She didn't exactly understand anything that went on."

"Excuse me," he said, looking very offended. "She may only be 3 months old, but she's very smart."

"Right, she's a genius baby, how could I forget?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head at Stevie. "How could she forget how smart you are, hmm?"

Stevie yawned again, stretching her arms above her head.

"She's ready to take a nap," you said.

"Can I just hold her? I know it's not a good habit, to let her be held to sleep, but I don't want to put her down yet," Harry said, looking up with such pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. Not like you would have said no anyways, but he didn't need to know that.

"Of course you can," you stood up, kissing his forehead before you turned away. "I'm gonna do the dishes, then we can watch something if you want."

"No, let me do those," he immediately protested.

"Harry, it's okay, I haven't done anything around the house since she was born-"

"And I'm not about to let you start now," he cut you off. "Come back here, please? Let's start that new show we were looking at the other night."

"Fine, but later I'm going to help you with the dishes."

"Fine," he smiled, agreeing with your compromise, even though you both knew he would argue later. "Now come back here."

[billyvell]

My full IWTV thoughts/feelings/"review" (Part 1).

Ok for a while now I have been wanting to do like a big post talking about all of my main thoughts about the show. I think I went into the show in kind of an odd position because, I'm a book reader, but not a longtime one. I literally just got into them right before the show started airing. I started watching when it started airing and I had finished IWTV and TVL, but then I stopped and decided to at least finish TQOTD before I continued the show.

So, I'm gonna start with all the things I like and then what I didn't.

First of all: The way they just said fuck subtext or lowkey representation and made this fully romantic and horny. One of my issues with the books is that, at least in IWTV (but in a lesser extent the others too?), they keep things in this realm of plausibe deniability where even though things are obviously gay they still don't make it fully explicit. I get that it was 1976, but that doesn't fully change how I feel reading it, you know.

Besides the material itself, from what I understood AR loved to give some vague answers and "let things speak for itself", along with an idea in both books and her comments that vampires don't "need to worry" so to speak with sexual orientations, that in a way it doesn't really count, which is wack imo (though she did also full-on say that Lestat is bisexual which I appreciate).

But I think what bothered me the most in IWTV, wasn't even the subtext itself, but the way that Louis essentially didn't express any love for Lestat. The story is written like he just hates him from the beginning save for the first moments where he saw him to when he was turned. They are obviously coded as a couple down to HAVING A CHILD TOGETHER, but Louis' narration just never acts "accordingly" and gives it this weird no homo vibe. His love for Armand is a bit more clear which is better, but also not totally? Especially cause when they're saying stuff like "I/you want him to be my/your companion" it usually has the context of him as a replacement for Claudia.

Anyway this isn't a book review, so what I mean is basically that it was just VERY satisfying to see Loustat being clearly in love, especially from Louis' part. I love to see that sort of initial attraction especially when it comes from someone who doesn't want to be feeling that and all the angst that comes with it. Also, THEY FUCK. I kinda appreciate the concept of vampires not having regular sex in the books, but I'd still rather have them fuck. As a treat.

The fact that they also explicitly established Louis as gay instead of staying ambigous about his sexuality was also incredible. I do like works where that just isn't brought up and it just works naturally like if they were straight, but it's not my favorite approach. I like when they actually deal with it.

And on the topic of Louis' changes: Anything from slave-owner in a plantation is a glow-up. Making him also a black man is like, downright reparations. If you're upset about that you're dumb and possibly racist sorry. I understand that Louis' "race-swap" is different from most other characters since him being white actually is relevant, but it's relevant in a bad way. The upgrade definetely needed to happen to tell the story in current times.

And since we're talking about these types of changes, Claudia. I have A LOT of issues with how Claudia's story was handled, but Claudia herself, as in Bailey and her acting? Great. She's just amazing. The change in her age makes for a different story, but one that still works. And Bailey is just so charismatic and fierce. To see her slowly change from the cute daddy lou girl (which as I said, was way more fun and charismatic than book Claudia) to whom she has become in the latter episodes? Incredible. She truly embodies being the baddest bitch in the house, she INVENTED girlbossing.

And kinda going from this, the acting. The acting of all three is great. They have great chemistry, both Sam and Jacob and the two of them with Bailey. Even appearance wise, Claudia still looks like a living doll, and Jacob is still a soft pretty boy in a way that fits my own standards for a babygirl-coded character. Sam Reid might actually be too hot to be Lestat, tbh. I joke but wow, I'm actually attracted to him now. Armand's was like particularly genius cause even though he's not a auburn-haired white teenager he still looks just like Armand when it comes to his actual features?!

Also, the vibe, the atmosphere. It actually took me a while to get into it. I had whiplash from reading the book and seeing the movie where it was like 1 or 2 centuries behind the show, but once I got into it I loved it. I don't know how to explain this better but I just like how everything looks and "feels". The set and costume designers ate. The cinematography is great too and gives it the final touch.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[kashuan]

What buffles me about the popularity of Madeline Miller's book is how shallow her characters are. Achilles and Circe have no true, unlikable flaws (they're "timid" and "angry" at worst, when the others are rapists) while everyone else is made comically evil because Miller is too poor of an author to create compelling characters that are loved and appreciated for their complexity, she resorts to vilify the heck out of everyone else so that Achilles and Circe have no "competition". Oh and she made Patroclus from an absolute beast to a simp whose greatest ambition is to be Achilles's housewife. Circe's cruelty is made into yass queen moments, and we are subjected to pages of entirely self-unaware Circe complaining about cruel gods while she is a cruel god. It's like a white person bitching about white people, trying to distant themselves like this doesn't include them too

Honestly though, the black and whiteness of her stories is one of their biggest downfalls to me, especially when your subject is Greek mythology lol? Either everyone needs to be equally terrible or you need to give due diligence with making everyone properly nuanced IMO. I’ll never forgive her for speed running Iphigenia’s sacrifice in this regard; bizarre choice when there’s some great Achilles’ characterization to be had there, but oh no can’t throw any complexity on ach/pats pure gay uwu love by even suggesting he might feel something for a Girl, yuckie [see: deidamia chapter]. This passage was particularly unforgivable for like 10 different reasons:

(Canon patroclus deserves better than this and nothing like some modern day monogamy concepts in my ancient greek fiction. I also love the idea of Achilles saying No to this very common sort of arrangement because his bf was jealous, would love to see how that one went over)

Her then writing Agamemnon being like ‘well that happened’ after Iph dies in less than a page and holding a celebration for the army the same night, lol. Truly gotta cement that this man is The Villain (compare this to Iphigenia 1977 where we can imply he feels embittered and resentful towards the army who immediately begin to celebrate. Heck, even messier modern adaptations like Helen 2003 or TFOAC at least Somewhat understood the assignment and depicted him as genuinely conflicted and remorseful). Like I get Achilles is your focus, you don’t have to develop everyone equally, but at least pretend you’re not incredibly biased/making your story as easily digestible as possible. I just often find myself imagining how different the ‘mainstream’ side of the fandom would be if she hadn’t turned half the characters into mischaracterized tropes just to further sell the ach/pat drama (I won’t even get into thetis' or pyrrhus’ horrible characterization bc enough ppl have already lol).

As for Circe, I only read the first 50 pages or so thoroughly. I was instantly tripped up by what you mention, the same style as before lol. All the male gods are so mean and awful, especially to me :( men amirite?? I’m not fishing here for a certain kind of target audience at all. It was so blatant it immediately put me off. I just skimmed the rest and remember being disgusted by her legit trying to sell circe/telemachus afair. Ultimately if this was OC fiction I wouldn’t care or comment on any of it, would take it as ‘you do you’. But these are preestablished characters we tell shared stories about, and while I think they should definitely still be open to individual interpretation, I do think you should at least like… Stick to at least some of their commonly established traits seen in their original stories? It also wouldn’t be so bad if her writing hadn’t become THE mainstream “canon” though, but because it has I will never pass up an opportunity to complain about it, lmfao