#i can be trusted to be normal about drawn to life (<- LYING)

[charrfie]

i need to so badly know your opinions/thoughts on wilfre and sock

Unsure if this is the same dtl anon as before, but either way HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR BEING CURIOUS!!!!! I would be more than happy to share! Because the phrasing of this ask was pretty vague, I winded up writing a multiple page essay in an attempt to cover everything wilfre/sock related. So it's all under a read more. That being said, if I've not covered something you were specifically curious about, let me know. I have a million more thoughts on the two (or the whole game!) I'd be happy to share. Here's an additional drawing I made to accompany everything :^]

For those unfamiliar with the drawn to life series, please be warned MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

So, to get into it! I figured I would start with the very basics: wilfre, sock, and the rest of his forms. A lot of folks have different interpretations on the intricacies between wilfre and his disguises! I'm a believer in the fact that they *are* all the same person (in contrast to how some people believe them to be disguises created from stolen appearances/stolen bodies)... but different facets of this same person. Essentially, normal raposa wilfre was a wholly fleshed out being, and every other form he takes exaggerates various traits of his. Flanderization, I guess, but only to a certain degree. Shadow wilfre is an elevation of his more sadistic tendencies, sock is an elevation of his cowardice, and salem is an elevation of his mystery/flair for the dramatic. Granted this is a fairly barebones description of the way his forms worm since I do believe there to be more to these characters and their behaviors, but what I've said already gets my point across well enough for a generalized "what are your thoughts" type of question. Though I will say, sock's spotlight on cowardice is especially interesting to me considering- at least from what I've seen- wilfre's character being largely dictated by his own fear is not something focused on often by fans; it's much more common for you to see him just being cool and evil. We'll come back to this.

Another thing that comes from my belief of them all being the same person is that wilfre absolutely *did* design his separate forms with conscious intent (with an exception of shadow wilfre, which was likely only natural corruption of his form following his exposure to shadow). It speaks so heavily for who he is as a creative!! He likes being a little edgy and snobby- hence salem's design- and he also doesn't think too far ahead sometimes- hence sock's name, which absolutely had to be something he thought of on the spot! So many hints at who he is as an individual outside of "the antagonist" are hidden away in small details like that.

Now, with that out of the way, back to the topic of wilfre's fear!

In the first game, his sights are not set nearly as high as they are in the sequel. He chooses to spread shadow over the whole world as an effort to fix what the creator ruined; he WILL take matters into his own hands and bend the world how he pleases if it means a reality "done better." While there may have originally been truth in such a goal, his reasoning is slightly disingenuous considering it's more of a rebellion than an instance of wanting to actually better the world (due to his inability to ACTUALLY fix things how he wishes he could). Wilfre has a habit of convincing himself he's correct though, so it makes sense why it pans out this way. The writing of the first game makes it out to be a lot more malicious and pointlessly evil than dtl:tnc. Sort of always seemed flat and boring to me in how it's presented so I tend to have to embellish it a bit in my fanworks lol. It's also at this point that the fear which drives him isn't as obvious... while there are suggestions of it in dtl, it's ramped up a whole new degree in dtl:tnc. For now, most of what the player sees sets the stage for this development with wilfre's struggle against power imbalance.

At the very beginning of dtl:tnc, this framework of a power imbalance comes into play almost immediately when wilfre is spoken to directly by the creator. It's almost insulting to him considering he prayed and begged for some kind of answer for so many years, and yet only when he is far past his worst- when he is no longer devoted- now he hears them. He's livid and extremely reactionary about it! In part, this is due to justifiable anger, but I've always been lead to believe fear plays a large part here as well. His manner of speaking shifts, he hesitates; he's unsure, only for a moment before breaking out into an extravagant display of his power. Almost as if to reaffirm his control of the situation. As the game progresses, these sorts of actions increase in frequency.

Alongside these sorts of direct fear reactions popping up much more often, wilfre's shifted goal also reflects the terror which motivates him. His sights have been set on bigger things by this point: saving the world by freezing it in time and space. It's destruction is imminent if he doesnt stop those who try to return color to it. It's an action SOLELY motivated by fear of death, something he develops an almost obsessive fixation with.

Wilfre's thought process during the execution of his plan tends to follow the idea of "you can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs," which is essentially the equivalent to "you can't save the whole world without killing or harming a couple people along the way." Even if it requires him to create a sterile, barren, unmoving world, he will do anything to prevent the physical destruction of the world... to prevent death. This is something he considers noble and just; something which makes him a savior. Realistically, freezing everything EXACTLY how it is is not much better than the world and it's inhabitants fading out of existence; it's basically the same thing! But when fear dictates logic, it doesn't need to make any sort of sense. Self preservation is the most and ONLY important thing one accounts for.

Sock, specifically, embodies wilfre's myriad of fears to a whole new level. Rather than fear being combated with a reactionary display, he cowers, hides, and acts dismissively towards a various amount of situations. I'll delve into this a bit more later in a separate point, but while some of this may be to manipulate others in the situation, it's not uncommon for wilfre to do/say something that puts on a front while masking other meaning. It's just that his typically inward thoughts tend to project themselves outwardly in this form of his!

Keep in mind that while I do believe there to be reason behind wilfre's logic and actions, that does not necessarily excuse all or even most of them. Do not misconstrue me!!! He's killed people, he's trapped people both in physical cages and in time and space, he's psychologically tortured others, the list goes on. And that's what makes him so fascinating! He's not a good guy! If you erase or excuse all of his terrible actions he becomes so much less interesting as a character and antagonist. But its undeniably interesting to look into the psychology and motivations behind his actions.

Moving on from this, it is also worth noting that I am a HUGE proponent of jowfre and it's very much so interlaced with my reading of the story/characters. Let me explain:

Sock, as a character, stands out to me a lot in how he is a major turning point for wilfre. According to his plan, the "sock" disguise SHOULD be another approach to the same issue at hand: preventing any raposa from impeding on his end goal. Disguising himself as salem was his first attempt at this... but holes were quickly poked in it's execution, and he found that prevention by force would not be successful. Instead, he then goes the opposite route; by disguising himself as sock, he can befriend jowee (who at this point has assumed the role of leader), gain the trust of others, and destroy their group from the inside. Which works! ...A little too well, he finds, as he too starts to believe his own lie of being someone who cares about jowee and his fellow raposa. And in return, he is gifted something he thought impossible in his current state: jowee's genuine friendship.

Now obviously this is a BIG DEAL. For a lot of reasons. For one, it's a hell of a lot harder to endanger the life of someone you care about than it is a random stranger who hates you (worth noting that every time this happens in the game, it becomes increasingly passive to the point that any danger isn't even coming from wilfre himself, sock just suggests that everyone leave/give up). But even less than endangering someone's life is breaking someone's spirit. If he can break jowee's determination and make the village give up on their mission, he'll succeed. And yet this is STILL something wilfre can't find it in himself to do.

I have two personal favorite examples of this that stick out to me. The first is the infamous treehouse balcony conversation... where jowee is heartbroken about the disappearance of mari. Discouraged and lost, jowee confides in sock, airing out his grievances. It's an ideal moment for sock to reaffirm jowee's broken view of himself; jowee wouldn't argue with the state he's currently in. Instead though, sock listens to him, encourages him, and comforts him. One can argue that it's a simple manipulation tactic since it's the perfect moment for wilfre to gain jowee's trust, but it's always stood out to me as something very... vulnerable. Jowee *is* the first raposa wilfre has had casual conversation with in ages anyway...... it's as if he's relishing the feeling of being able to relate and be on equal ground. The shadow has influenced his entire being, yes, but there's an undeniable glimmer of humanity in him still that yearns to escape. It's also here that we get critical insight to wilfre's inner principles when he tells a (likely fictionalized) tale and ends it with "I made a decision that- regardless of consequence- I would succeed." It speaks so much for who he is at his core and how right he believes himself to be. He's sharing BIG things with jowee rather than breaking his spirit.

The second example of this is following the first hint of mari's betrayal: when she steals the book of life from jowee. Accusations are being thrown around, faith is dwindling, and the entire village is on the brink of collapse... but when jowee comes forward with the notion of wanting to try again, to not give up... out of everyone else there, sock is the first and only to speak up. Cheering for him and encouraging him forward. Without him doing so, the mission would have failed. WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HE'S BEEN ASKING FOR!!!!!! The entire time he's been accompanying the village he has again and again (and will continue to) try to get everyone to back out of what they're doing, to split apart. But when it's served to him on a silver platter, he can't. IT'S FASCINATING!!!!!!!!

As I said though, jowee's friendship doesn't just come with one issue for wilfre, but multiple. Arguably the most egregious is the fact that it makes wilfre question if his grand plan of draining the world of all color is really right. If it's something he should even bother to do. Which must be a realization so chilling considering *he is doing so to save the whole world.* How can such a pest of a single raposa make him- the great and infallible wilfre- waiver in his confidence? This particular issue is all implication rather than direct statement; I've mentioned previously how sock gets less and less pushy as time goes on, instead vouching for generally avoidant approaches, and this is what I'm referencing here. It's downright procrastination rather than prevention!

Wilfre drags the execution of his "destroy jowee's village from the inside out" plan out for so long that he only acts when he's desperate. When there's nothing else he can do, no further thing that might delay them. He's been backed into a corner and knows jowee is far too determined to quit. And so, he drops the act. He steals heather's pendant, reveals himself as wilfre, and escapes.

I highly doubt it's intentional (and I'll get into the details on why I find this legitimate reasoning regardless of intention later), but I do find it interesting that he waits until the moment in the map room to ask for the pendant because it directly follows jowee having an outburst about wilfre and how terrible he is. Realistically, it would have been even more in sock's favor to have stolen the pendant while jowee was alone with him on one of the islands they visited. At that point, the other villagers may even have turned on jowee- their leader- out of suspicion. Better yet, sock could have stolen the pendant away while jowee slept, eliminating the need to get caught entirely. But he doesn't. It's not until he's desperate AND is directly getting reminded that the person he most cares about hates him that he acts. It's a nice callback to the aforementioned treehouse conversation the two have: regardless of consequence, regardless of losing someone he had come to care about, he would succeed in carrying out what he meant to do. And so he does. He tries to, at least.

A brief interruption from this point to speak on the writing quality of the games themselves. The drawn to life series contains two separate writing approaches: multidimensional storytelling and face value storytelling. "Multidimensional" in the sense that the writing itself mirrors a character/dictates their identity (e.g. jowee's writing reaffirming his position as someone thought of as unworthy) and "face value" in the sense that the writing tells the story in a straightforward sense with no hidden meanings (e.g. most large plot developments). It's pretty fascinating! Now, do I think this approach of dual writing systems was intentional? Well... no. Truthfully it's my opinion that the writing in the game is fairly underwhelming and not very well thought out. It's not a masterpiece by any means. But despite intent, the dual writing system is very much so at play, and one needs to approach the game being ready to actively parse through which is which.

I bring all this up to say that occasionally, the blatant multidimensional storytelling embedded in the games' writing is really just meant to be normal, face-value storytelling. Certain interactions or events seem deeper than they really are, implications come to the surface due to it, etc. And because of this, the growth of certain characters is entirely stunted. Namely due to the fact that while the player expects said character(s) to act in a certain manner due to implications previously made, this character will instead act in a wildly unexpected way because it was what the writer initially intended. And as we've established, intent does not equal correct execution. By far the worst example of this is the latter half of dtl:tnc, where wilfre tears the appearance of "sock" away with no remorse and escapes to his wasteland. After all the build-up of his blossoming relationship with jowee, his dynamic character development, and overall stakes rising, the player is suddenly brought back to a very static, unsatisfying square one... a completely out of left field 180° with character direction. I've always suspected the reason for this was that midway through the project, the script writers realized the villian had become more sympathetic of a character than one of the main protagonists (mari) and out of nowhere switched it up, cut off character arcs, etc just to ensure their original intent was preserved.. even if that ultimately led to something that felt clunky and odd.

A bit of a longwinded side tangent, but it all prefaces my next point: if the games were written with more care and without the literary biases present, wilfre would have had a redemption arc. Or at least an arc where he sees his redemption as a choice, but turns against it.

I know, I know. You can't simply see a villian character you enjoy and go "well I think they should've had a happy ending so I'm going to let AU reflect my analysis of the canon media." That's not what I'm saying here! It's not just a simple wish for better circumstances influencing my thoughts. I would have been 100% okay with an unhappy ending for him either way, if only the writing didn't handle it in a way so jarring. Because it *is* jarring though, I try to work with it by incorporating it into my analysis rather than just discarding it as unusable, disingenuous storytelling. Case in point: what I did with my jowee pmv... you GOTTA boost the drama and stretch the truth a little bit...

To wrap this very long response up, I wanted to briefly mention very minor miscellaneous thoughts I have about wilfre that didn't fit in with any other main topic I touched on:

Based on my interactions with the fandom, I've come to notice there are a LOT of people who seem to think wilfre doesn't believe in the creator. In reality, he very much so does, he just thinks they suck lol.

I think it's very cute seeing how wildly out of practice wilfre is living as a normal raposa. He's spent so long as a shadow that things which used to come so easy to him are such a chore now (e.g. in lavasteam where he breathlessly chases after jowee trying to keep up with him.. he's so used to floating he's out of practice actually carrying his bodyweight around).

I have always read drawn to life as being a story relating heavily to forced role fulfillment; a character must fill the role they are given, or the world/their own self will fall apart. Assuming you're the same anonymous asker from before, you've seen my pmv, so you know how evident jowee's forced role fulfillment (or lack thereof) is throughout the games. But wilfre is also a shining example of this narrative theme! Many of the issues that the raposa world suffers from (be it relationship disputes, societal structures, general unhappiness, etc) are oftentimes tacked on as something wilfre is somehow at fault for, however loosely. The shadow's influence leads him to lose a lot of his humanity (raposity?) on its own, but his role as the scapegoat does as well, since it warps him into more of a concept than person. This is another reason his paralyzing fear of death is so critical to get across; it returns some of the humanity and dimension to him which make him more well-rounded.

I mentioned that sock becomes more avoidant as the story progresses, but what I've neglected to mention is the fact that wilfre is generally very avoidant by nature. Despite having more power than any other thing he commands, throughout both games he incessantly tries to have the hero and others dealt with through indirect means (other bosses/shadow creatures, influencing potential allies, robbing raposa of resources, etc). It's a pretty obvious behavior that dictates his character, but is further enabled in the circumstances I elaborated on outside of these notes.

Not very wilfre-specific but moreso just general info: I do not consider the newest entry in the series of drawn to life: two realms canon in the slightest so none of my interpretations of stories or characters will ever stem from two realms events. Sorry!

Wtf is up with him being weirdly flirty with mari at the end of tnc btw. I usually just excuse it as bad writing and that sudden shift in character I talked about. Which is funny because if that character shift is indeed the writers overcompensating then that means they were worried about too much gay tension between wilfre and jowee I guess LMAO there's literally zero reason for it otherwise.. it's so ooc and out of left field. Can I just write this dude myself please.

Thank you so much for asking in the first place... I love talking about these guys!!!!! <3 If you can't tell, lol. Hope you found it interesting, I'd be happy to elaborate further if anyone's curious. Just know it might take me a little while since it took me about a week to get to this ask haha

[hoe4sports]

The ballerina mouse

-A part of the musli universe

A/N: At last, a new piece of the musli universe. You can find the series here. There will be a new piece of "without you" very soon.

Summary: This is a piece with a shorter timespan, more so of a situation. This is just to bring some background information to the story.

-

“But, I don’t understand” you whisperss with furrowed brows, confused as to why things haven’t worked out like Leah and Alessia told you it was supposed to. You had marked it down on the little calendar with little cats drawn on it that Leah got you for Christmas last year. Everything was supposed to be okay by now, settled and signed. You were supposed to belong with Leah and Alessia. Like a real family. Have your name on the mailbox next to theirs. But once again, things hadn’t worked out like it was supposed to.

Your feet dangled from your bed as you watched the floor between your two moms, or what was supposed to be your moms by now.

“Sweetheart, i know it’s hard to understand the process. We thought it would be done by now, but the decision will take a little longer than what we expected.” Alessia pleaded as she tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

You nodded as you sighed quietly enough for only you to hear. Maybe this whole adoption thing was too good to be true, you think in a whisper way to yourself as if you feel scared that someone might read your thoughts.

It has been 2 years since you came to Alessia and Leah after being shuffled around between homes unfit for kids. A year since they started the process of making you a forever part of their home. The social worker had explained that in your situations it normally took no longer than a year, so you added that to your equation of chaos.

“Could you maybe explain it again?” You sniffled out, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your soft pink fleece. You want to understand what she’s was saying, you really do; but it’s like your brain can’t comprehend it. Like there aren’t enough words in the English language for you to understand. Why can’t you just be there forever? You don’t know anyone else anymore. When you were young, your mommy and daddy never had siblings or parents. You have grandparents now, even uncles and aunts, and very soon, you’ll have a fifth cousin.

Leah and Alessia shares a sad look between them before Leah squats down to your level. Her gaze tries to meet yours, but your eyes are glued to your feet. It feels like looking into Leah’s eyes will make the sky come crashing down. Or worse, it might cause you to cry. You still don’t like crying in-front of Leah and Alessia. You don’t know that yet, but the habit is something that will stick with you for the rest of your life. You believe that if you cry, then perhaps they’ll change their minds about adopting you, and besides losing your guardian angel pocket mouse; that’s just about the worst thing that could happen.

“When someone wants to make a child a part of their forever family, there are social workers that need to make sure that everything is done right. Sometimes, that takes a little longer time than usual.” Leah explains softly while you nod. You sort of understand it, but you don’t want to realise the consequences of what would happen if someone were to want you back. You don’t understand why anyone would want to have you back, not after leaving you to fend for yourself for this long.

“Does that mean that someone can take me away, again?” You whisper, a single tear rolling down your chin before catching it with your tumb.

Leah and Alessia don’t know what to say. They have agreed between themselves to not keep secrets and to avoid lying to you. Lying causes trust to break, that’s what the social workers have said anyway. But it hurts Leah and Alessia to have to explain the legal battle that they are having to go through. Alessia doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a child your age to know all of these things; but Leah has her heart set on honesty. Age appropriate honesty anyway.

“It’s not that easy, baby” Alessia whispers out. You take notice of the puzzled look on her face, and it makes you feel insecure. Her face looks sad, and you just about now notice the redness under her eyes. She doesn’t have the answers because nobody does. Not even the social worker that tried to explain this to you earlier this morning.

You look over at Musli, your favourite ragdoll cat with what you assume is the softest fur in the world. He looks over at you before standing up into a deep stretch and walking over to you. His little act brings a small smile to your face. His little head bonks your leg. Your hand reaches down to pet him, and he instantly purrs as he bounces up into your lap.

“But, are you gonna not be my mommies until they have made up their minds about what to do with me?” You mumble. A part of you doesn’t want any answers. It makes you feel like you are a bag of trash that needs to be taken care of. If you could stay in foster care forever then maybe that would be the best. Nobody could take you away because there wouldn’t be an adoption and you would only belong with Leah and Alessia on pretend. Maybe you only belong until you are big enough to get a job or maybe until they decide to have a real child. The thought of them having a real child scares you; what if it is a girl? Then you’ll no longer be their little girl anymore. You just wanna stay here with Leah, Alessia and Musli. The dissociation makes you shut out Leah’s talking, and you nod along as she explains. You don’t realize that they have left the room until Musli hops down from your lap.

It’s been a while since you arrived, their first placement. A traumatized 3 year old turned into a somewhat hopeful 5 year old. By now, you had lived more with your new mommies than your real parents. It felt strange, how your family was torn apart once. Then again and again and again. Your attachment issues becoming worse with every new placement until you ended up with Leah and Alessia in what was just crumbles of a 3 year old. They took the time to pick up all the pieces of you that had been spread around like broken porcelain and glued you back together piece by piece until you were close to whole. The only issue with that, is that just like broken porcelain that gets glued together will have cracks, so will you.

-

The next morning, you wake up early. The birds can be heard chirping through the window, and you could swear that the sun is about to peek through your window. Your house is quiet, that means that Leah and Alessia are still fast asleep. That is one of the things you like about not having siblings. Nobody wakes up before you on weekends. Only you and your trusty companion, Musli, is awake. He lies in the corner, in the soft bed next to your guardian angel house. It’s a big pink play house from Maileg. You had wished for the guardian angel mouse as soon as you saw it; it was the same mouse you got from your mom. It was your most prized possesion before your last foster home decided that you had to share it with their daughter, who eventually lost it. You cried for months when it disappeared.

Your feet settles into the big rug on the floor and you shuffle over to the play house. It’s nicely decorated, Leah had splurged on the house and the furniture. She even purchased all the accessories money could buy. Maileg isn't cheap, it was a ridiculously expensive Danish brand. Leah remembers Alessia’s face when she told her that she spent 25 £ on just the tiny wooden loveseat for the dollhouse. But Leah didn’t care about prices or costs, she only cared about how she had a little girl to spoil. If that mean spending thousands of pounds, she would happily swipe her card.

The mother mouse is sitting in the kitchen, with a news paper and a pink metal cup with gold details. The mama mouse is sitting in the living room watching tv while having a plate of cookies in front of her. Then, there is the little ballerina mouse. She’s a small mouse, just a child; but she’s a ballerina with a soft pink tutu. She’s in her bedroom, all by herself; tucked away where she feels the safest. Her door is open, a reminder of how she’s allowed out of her room at any time of the day. You sigh when you see it because you remember what Leah said about keeping your door close. So, you get up from the floor and you grab the handle of the door before slightly pulling the door open. The door was meant to act as a gentle reminder that you are welcome to play downstairs or come into their bedroom in the mornings; but even after close to three years, you still don’t feel comfortable.

Muesli sits down next to you once again return to the floor. He purrs loudly before stretching himself out next to you. Ragdolls tend to be big, some even as big as 15 kg. But Muesli is only 7kg, even though he is almost as long as your carpet. You pick up the mommy mouse before placing it next to Muesli, you even place it in his fur making sure that he dosent feel left out of the roleplay.

"Here you go, musli" you whisper, earning a bonk on your hand from the furry friend. For a split second, you imagine what it would be like if you had a sibling instead of Musli. But, that would mean that you could be replaced. That their real child would come first, and you'd hopefully come second. It wouldn't be an issue for you, you like to play with other kids and in many of the foster families you have been through; you had siblings. It's not the sibling itself you had issues with, it was the parents and how they seemed to favoritize their real child meaning you would get the blame for anything, and you´d be the one that gets left behind.

You remember how once a family told you that they would be going to Paris for a weekend, and oblivious little you believed that they would bring you too. So when the departure day came, and you stood ready all excited with your little backpack all ready; they told you that there were crackers and peaches in the kitchen, and that you could take pizza from the counter. That day, you stood in the doorway squatted down to watch through the cat door as the family left you behind. You don't realize it yet, but one day; people will be cheering your name as you secure victory after victory across the biggest stages in the world.

You reach for the special guardian angel mouse that's hiding in the closet of the ballerina mouse’s room. She pretends to cross the room to head downstairs where she grabs some bread and cheese. The food gets brought back up to the ballerina mouse’s room, but not before checking to make sure that nobody can see her. She hands the food over to the little ballerina mouse who accepts the food before hiding behind her desk to eat it. She dosent want to be a burden, she only wants to do good, she only wants to act good. To be a good little mouse. So that perhaps, one day; someone might want her.

In the middel of the play, you hear a door squeal. You instantly freeze up, the mouse falling from your hand onto the carper. Musli instantly gets up, and bonks himself on your shoulder as he purrs. His purrs is enough to make you decompress. Your gaze is glued to the floor, and you sit completely still, to the point of not breathing. As the anxiety sets in, you decide to shut your eyes. Hiding in your closet isn't at option, as you feel frozen to the ground.

"Y/N? Are you up already?" A voice speaks. The voice seems to be similar to Leah´s, but you are not sure. You remember how your fosters told you that when people are talking to you, your ears can lie and make you believe that you heard something different than what actually was said. So if your foster dad said that you were useless, he might've said that you were kind instead. At least, that is what they wanted you to believe.

"Y/N?" The voice speaks softly, a little closer this time. You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you open your eyes to see Leah. Your shoulders instantly relaxes, and the coldness you have carried around this morning suddenly feels warm and toasty. "Are you playing with you mice?" Leah asks, sitting down next to you. You smile and nod your head eagerly.

"I like my mice" you say softly, picking up the mama mouse. "This is you" you said holding it towards Leah, she accepts it and smiles. "And this is Alessia" you say, holding up the mommy mouse. "And who is this?" Leah asks, pointing towards the little ballerina mouse. You look over at the mouse, and starts to fiddle with your pink pyjamas.

After gathering courage for a minute, you point to yourself. "Is it you?" Leah asks, picking it up from behind the bed where it has been hiding. You don't say anything, but you let out a small hmm. "Did she have a sleepover?" Leah asks, looking at you with a soft smile.

"No" you speak, your voice low. "Hmmm, did she fall behind her bed when she slept?" she asks, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "no" you say, still unsure about whether to explain to her why your favorite mouse was hiding.

"It is scared" you say, picking up a baby mouse before fiddling with its tail. "Oh? It's scared huh? Well, does it want to tell the Leah mouse why?" she asks curiously, placing the ballerina mouse in her bed. "maybe" you whisper, having Leah in the corner of your eye.

Leah pulls out her pretending voice out and walks the Leah mouse into the ballerina mouse´s room. "oh no, my little ballerina mouse, what's wrong?" she says, hopping over to the bed before sitting down on the floor in the ballerina mouse´s room.

Your hand reaches for the little ballerina mouse, and you make the mouse hide her head in her tiny arms. "Oh no, does my little ballerina mouse need a mama hug?" Leah urges, tapping the ballerina mouse on her shoulder. The ballerina mouse nods, and the mama mouse wraps her tiny mouse arms around the ballerina. Leah leans towards you before pulling you into her arms, you relax your shoulders; it feel safe. Leah makes you feel safe.

"What's on your mind, my little mouse?" Leah asks as you listen to her steady heartbeat. "Im scared" you whisper out, and for a second you cannot believe that you just said that. But you remember that your mommy always said that you could trust people that are trusted by animals. And so you do. You pour your heart out, about how you are scared that they won't go through with the adoption. That this is an excuse for not wanting to deal with you anymore. That this somehow sends you back to one of your old fosterfamilies. And Leah? She listens, she dosent argue or talk back or tell you to shut up, she listens until you stop rambling.

"We would never send you back, ever. You are a part of our family now. I can't promise that you will never have siblings, but I can promise that you will never be considered anything less than another baby. And if you feel sad in your heart, then I really wish that you can talk to me or Less about it, okay? " Leah offered, looking out in the room.

You nod.

"Im thankful for that you spoke up about it, I love you so much" Leah says, folding her arms tighter around you and you hug her back. "How about some pancakes for breakfast, hm?" your eyes widen and you nod eagerly before jumping up from Leah´s lap and sprinting downstairs, your giggles spreading around the house.

"The last person to the kitchen is a rotten mouse!"

[phleb0tomist]

it’s my 25th birthday on saturday n i’m trying to have a ‘que sera sera’ attitude about spending another major bday in bed. ten bedbound birthdays and countng?! and tbh the physical aspect of it is easy to accept at this point, i get that my bodily reality is non negotiable, but the social aspect is still so confusing because i keep feeling like i COULD be more socially part of the world if the infrastructure would bend toward me just a tiny bit. i don’t think that’s selfish. i think interdependence is a normal and reasonable thing to dream of. I reach further when I know someone else is struggling, i wish the world at large would do this for disabled ppl instead of excluding us further.

I wish there were more people in my life who knew about my existence. who had the chance to know! life could be a dream. i envy the fact that most ppl regularly get to casually cross paths with other human beings irl, like at work or school or even just taking the trash out. i don’t get to have those glimpses of miscellaneous humanity or really ever see strangers at all.

it’s hard to carve out a meaningful space in people’s minds when you’re too unwell be present in the outside world or do any of the the stuff that typically builds bonds. friendships are largely forged in third spaces. if you wanna hang out with me, it will just be me lying in bed while you sit next to me and a lot of the time i can’t speak or have the lights on. it takes a lot of trust for me to be present with someone in the shape that I live in, and i truly believe you can build whole universes lying in the dark with a friend, and i HAVE done, and i’m tremendously grateful for the amazing people who spend time with me in this way. I love it so much. but most visitors don’t seem to see any value in it. i guess for them it’s just an awkward hour.

i’m not sure where the line can be drawn between whats legit impossible bc of my health (i.e. daily texting is impossible for me so i wouldnt want that), what IS possible but what i have failed to foster and am responsible for the absence of, and what is maybe just the social architecture of the current world failing me. my great grandma had post-polio syndrome as a teen and the neighbourhood teens would actually come to her window and wave to her every day or come sit with her. I don’t know what anyone in my neighbourhood looks like???

anyway.

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

Are You Delusional!?! (Mikey x Reader)

A/N: I hate mikey so much I just wanna shake him

Warnings: Heavy, heavy manga spoilers, Mikey being stupid

Word Count: 770

Ask Box: Open

Masterlist | Ko-Fi | VGen | Patreon

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!! BE WARNED!!!

This had to be a joke. There was no way in hell that your boyfriend of six months had just told you that he used to time travel. Sure, Mikey was… eccentric, to say the least. He was truly a nerd past that rough exterior he tries to keep up. Your eyes narrowed as you stared at Mikey. He stared back with a completely serious look. 

"I'm being serious."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am!"

You sighed and rolled your eyes. "Is this some game you played when you were in that goofy gang when you were younger?"

"It's not goofy!" Mikey's expression formed into a pout as he crossed his arms. "I could call Takemitchy right now and prove it."

You groaned and shook your head. Takemichi was the last person you would trust to prob=ve Mikey's ramblings true. First of all, it was Takemichi. He wasn't exactly the most mature. Second of all, he was one of the main people in Mikey's story. Definitely not a reliable source. So instead, you just flopped back on the floor and closed your eyes. Maybe Mikey would say this was all a joke. A bad one. 

Mikey crawled over to you. His expression was serious, eyebrows furrowed and his mouth drawn in a tight line. He stared down at you. You gave him only a glance before closing your eyes. Mikey huffed and leaned down even closer until you could feel his hair brush your face. You stayed still, even as his lips pressed against yours.

"I'm not lying."

You opened one eye. "Are you trying to convince me with a kiss?"

He shook his head. "I'm being serious. This all happened. Chifuyu knows, and even Hinata knows too."

This made your eyes open fully. Both Chifuyu and Hinata believed all this? Obviously, there had to be some truth. Or maybe everyone was messing with you. Whatever it was, you didn't really want to think about it. You reached up, running your hands through his hair. Mikey always looked so soft. So… squishable. It was hard to believe he had been through so much. You frowned, tugging at his hair.

"Ow, what the fuck?!" He hissed, pulling away from you. "Why did you do that?!"

"Are you seriously telling the truth?"

Mikey frowned and rubbed his head. He nodded once. "Yeah."

"Christ…" You sat up as well and scooted closer to him. "I'm so sorry."

He shrugged it off. "Don't be. I'm over it now."

Over it. Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. That's not really what you were worried about. What you were worried about was how Mikey used to act and the way this affected him. Reliving life, not to mention those traumatizing moments over and over? It's not a matter of him saying he's over it, it's a matter of how he handled it. And from what he told you, he didn't handle it well. 

This made your concern for him grow. You took his hand in yours. Honestly, it explained his childish behavior and why he was so infuriating sometimes. Mikey never got the chance to grow up like a normal kid. So he was making up for it with what he was doing now. Your fingers slowly traced over the back of his hand. Maybe you could cut him some slack…

You intertwined your fingers with his. "Are you seriously okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Stop nagging." Mikey pulled you closer to him. 

"Mikey…" You squeezed his hand. "You don't need to act tough anymore. You can lean on me and all your friends, you know?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm not a baby."

"No, but you've been through a lot. It must be hard, thinking of all of it. Right?"

Mikey stayed silent. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into your neck. Alright, so he was upset. You sighed and ran your hand through his soft hair. You were his partner… the least you could do was comfort him when he needed it most. Obviously, you didn't want to push him too far. But this is what he needed. He needed to trust someone completely and fully. He needed someone that he could be himself around, with no walls up.

Mikey shifted and hugged you even tighter. "Thank you."

"I'm here for you, you know? I love you."

"I love you too." His lips brushed against your neck. He kissed the skin gently.

You shivered, tugged on his hair slightly. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

He hummed and pulled away, giving you a sleazy smirk. "Is it working?"

"No."

[outisgivingpac]

PAC: Little things you can do to improve your everyday life

Because there are days when simply existing feels like an extreme sport, this PAC shall give you some mundane advice to make your day a little bit easier 🌱☔✨

Check out my pinned post for my masterlist and personal readings ❤️

🐸Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐸

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Pentacles reversed, the Empress reversed, The High Priestess

Dear Pile 1, there're a lot to unpack here so I hope you would stay with me till the end. Firstly, I can feel your fatigue streaming through, as it seems like you're buried under all kind of house chores and errands. What you can really use right now is a helping hand, not just someone who would nod sympathically to your struggle. Many of you could just be living alone, but some might share the place with someone who have different living standards as yourself. Either case, you could cut yourself some slack by asking for help, or simply letting others help you. On a side note, you might not have been eating properly as of late. Either you eat too little, or only fuel yourself with the kind of food that has little nutritional value. Though, it appears you're fully aware of all these problems, and just have to listen to your body more. You know better than anyone when you need to take a break, when to take a sip of water, or what you crave. So, yes, you should trust yourself on that as often as possible, rather than deeming it evil whisper your inner goblin lol

Pile 2: 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

As it seems, people of this pile need a lot of activities and/or stimulations during a day to feel good in general. At the same time, idleness will weight you down like a plague. Without busying yourself with something that can be considered productive throughout the day, you tend to spiral hard in your head and become restless at night. This is often the case on those days when you don't have to go out for school or work. Aren't you a workaholic high-achiever with reasonable expectations for anyone but yourself? You're much encouraged to not take your day-off for granted, spending it worrying about work. Maybe you can pick up a hobby like handcraft (f.e. knitting, origami ect.), playing an instrument or engaging in certain outdoor sports. I know it could be much when you're low on energy, so it's important to find out something you truly enjoy to keep you (or your mind) active (maybe something you can do even when lying on bed?). The progress you make with your personal project will keep you in a more positive mindset. Lastly, some of you totally should keep your daily caffeine intake in check 👀

Pile 3: 7 of Pentacles reversed, 2 of Cups, Temperance

For Pile 3, I can tell you guys are goal-oriented people, who could get impatient when your effort are not met with immediate results. The lack of progress or productivity, whether it comes from your side or other party, could frustrate you greatly and taint your day in a sullen mood. To make your life a little bit easier, it's important to turn a mental switch when you're off work. Set your priority and boundary clear, knowing that you have tried to do the most you can with the cards you're served. There's always another day to continue or try again. Besides, if you have the "all or nothing" mentality, having compromises and taking the middle road will cut you some slack. As the world is not black or white, and it's completely normal to have inconsistency in your energy level. If you have a significant other, a close friend or family member, spending quality time with them is like swallowing a health potion. Oftentimes, they act like your personally cheerleader, hyping you up and helping you feel like your effort is seen, waaayyy before it is recognized by practical results. But hey, you can start giving it to yourself, too! Start to talk about/to yourself more kindly, like you would for someone you love.

[sixsix680]

EDIT: I think they changed their ID. I'm not gonna update anything but you might need to click the tag if you want to block them.

This is not going well, but I guess that's what it feels like when you wake up from the 7th nightmare within 48 hours and witness rubbish like this. Yes, this is my condition, probably the reason why I'm so irritated. Also, English is my second language. So uh- sorry gang if I talk like trash-I originally planned my first post in this community to be something cute and wholesome. Appreciating other ships since I don't like to yap about mine that much. I have already set up a new blog and drawn a few pictures, which are ready to send. But I figured out I needed people to see this, so here we are. Oh I better stop rambling shit.

Hello, dear user @fallenangel-still-falling. It would be a shame to not tag you in this. I don't think you know about me, but I know about you. Being all ridiculous and pathetic? You should be grateful when you finally have the attention that beings like you wouldn't have. Feel free to leave a thought, or my DM is open too if you're a coward.

Hello, everyone reading this.

This post is about the selfship community and some... proshippers. I don't witness that myself, so long story short. The user I have mentioned, a twenty-something years old, selfship with Morty from... everyone knows where I suppose, who is a minor. Which is totally not okay? Yeah, you are disgusting. But I'm not here for further discussions since, you know, I don't care about your problems. I'm aware someone has talked about that somewhere.

I guess weirdos exist, and I usually dont hunt down people. Not until they caught my attention. I'm not the type to sit back and watch when my preferred people are being talked shit at. Even though you did like absolutely no damage, your misleading information spreading is... what is the word you brought up again? Ah. Bullying. I know well about it.

Quite funny how your little call-out post got zero attention. Suppose people can discern if they should trust a creep or someone literally writing hundreds of letters free for the community. More straight to the point:

fallenangel-still-falling, or Koda. Is a damn pedophile. This mess harasses my friend and some other people. Lying and talking shit like hell, spreading untrue information which might damage my dearest's reputation. Yeah also reporting random people. Better watch out guys!

"Please if you can report their account and let's get one less disgusting human being off the internet. 💚"

I usually tell people to grow the hell up, but since you're grown up, get a life, then. Stop being such a clown and perhaps you can be normal.

Also! Repeat after me: Blocking the problem isn't problem-solving.

Harassment? This is an act of justice. You can't harass the harassment itself. What we are doing is removing trash from our community and putting it where it belongs. Why be scared to do so? When they can't do anything besides reporting or crying cause they are not on the right side. Wah wah.

If you block me or report me because of this, you're more than welcome, isn't like I care or anything. I will just acknowledge you support this kind of gross shit. What a waste of air and ridiculous existence.

Creeps exist. A little report and reblog would be a big help. I suggest blocking them after doing so, too. Who knows what the creeps would do? And thanks for reading all of this.

[lutawolf]

My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

If you haven't seen my other commentary, you can find it here.

This makes me sad because what was special for Tew was the fact that Guy wasn't afraid of him. But here he is, afraid. Which clearly is upsetting to Tew.

As soon as Guy opens his eyes, they are drawn to the gun wound scar. The face that Tew gives him then...

And Guy's concern, then confusion. So much emotion in one frame.

Now they are sitting and communicating. Tew tells Guy that he didn't tell him that he was scared that it would put Guy in danger. Which confuses me because not knowing, knowing, is there really a difference in danger level?

Tew starts to explain his past and his joy of playing video game. Then his home life. While not rich, he had a loving father. Who clearly raised him right because he is so well-mannered. Oh no! Cough with blood.  

Damn... I was really hoping he would kick their asses, and get home to his dad.

I mean, we knew it was coming, but the fact that he didn't get to say goodbye. Oh damn, that really explains the previous episode where he came to meet Guy to say goodbye before his trip.

Ohhhh, Tew looks scary now.

OH! Who called it?!?!

And then he is shot!!! What!?!? I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting the next part. I was kind of expecting him to have been forced into killing. Interesting. I wonder if Wish John Lennon was one of these kids???

So while bad boy is a rebel with a cause, he still a rebel. Then he just lays down to die.

I think it's safe to say that home dude was not thinking that day.

I think Guy gets it, but it will be interesting to see if he accepts it. He at least isn't scared of Tew anymore. Butt he more Tew explains, the more clearly you can see he is an anti-hero. Won't go so far as to call him a villain butttttt. He is no hero. Yay!!! This is my favorite type of character!

I am not sure what to think of the mob boss. He is putting a lot of trust into a kid, but he also appears to be giving him the keys to revenge. He is an interesting character to say the least.

The rules seem simple enough. No lying and no betrayal.

"Once you touch a gun. There is no going back to a normal life"

Then, Tew gives a little smirk and says that he doesn't plan on going back to a normal life anyway.

And Guy is seeing this. I think it's interesting because for some reason Tew really expected that Guy would absolutely understand. He is pretty spot on because Guy does understand.

Really Guy... You are going to be butt hurt over the restaurant lie??? I mean, I actually get where Guy is coming from. I'm just thinking it's funny to pick that after hearing Tew's story.

It apparently was not what Tew was expecting Guy to be upset about either. His face says he is completely dumbfounded. Honestly, in my opinion, Guy is latching onto something to use so he can run scared. I don't think he is scared of Tew, but of his own feelings that are happening too fast. I could be completely off base, but that's what I see from how he is acting and reacting.

Boy up in his feels getting sloppy drunk. Other boy is being emo in his bed. What a pair.

Oh, no! Boss man is not okay with the fake restaurant.

Home dude is not right in the head, is he?

I'll say it again. Mob boss daddy is interesting. He cares about Tew, but he isn't a push over.

I'm suspicious... How is a regular dude off the street not scared when goons show up???

Again, not a push over.

Now back to emo boy with his bed and his fish. Damn it Guy! That was a shit move to do to your guild!!! And his first thoughts when there is a knock at the door is Tew. That should tell you something, Guy! You're running from your feelings. Coward!

Nope. It's jackass Wahl, who I just know has something to do with stirring up shit. I know. He seems sweet, but how can he not tell that his bestie is upset??? Wahl is just too selfish for me to like him. I tried to like him, I really did, but I don't like selfish besties.

Discount Lennon out here trying to drown people.

See, I told you that Wahl was where this bullshit all started. He is being so condescending. Saying he is the most important person to him but then ditching him all the time. I really hope, at some point, Tew beats him up.

Did he drown him???

We're back to the guessing game of: Dead or Passed Out??? (If you said that in a game host voice, give yourself ten points.)

Oh! Not dead! Ohhhhh, another pissing contest in the wild!

I refuse to believe that Tew is that stupid... I hate Wahl because I feel like he is going to get a call from his gf and just leave Guy like he always does.

Ahhh... Nice. Tew planned ahead. Never mind, I take it back. Tew is stupid. Don't lie to the boss, especially not for Wish Lennon.

I don't like the fall troupe when it's Guy and Wahl.... Just saying.

Please, please, let Tew beat him up.

Yes, I agree. You need to put an end to your feelings. Oh, wow! Wahl didn't ditch Guy, but Guy ditched Wahl!!!

Sadly, though, Guy isn't answering Tew's phone calls either.

I really think that Tew should take this opportunity given to him and beat up Wahl.

The wrong person got punched! That did not go the way that I wanted.

Guy ran home. I can respect that. Except the fact that he is acting like a two-year-old. Awww, bless him. Well, at least now he is realizing that he is running away from everything.

Finally!!!

What does it say that Tew didn't stop till he found you Guy? LOVE, the communication going on. I love that Tew is calling out Guy, telling him that he feels this way and ran because he cares about him.

He called him little boy! And then gave him a real hug!!!

Ahhh, Tew confessing. Hot damn! They are making up for that shitty ending last episode!

OH SHIT.... He is going to quit the gangster life... I'm scared.

Never mind, we'll just shelve that concern for another day. Carry On. 💜💜💜

[mageknife]

ooooh havent been around the blog long so i wanna hear about your Guys :) 🧡💌📿 for the hcs?? you can pick one of them... or several.....

here i’ll do all of them. why the hell not. questions here

🧡: friendship-themed headcanon

laevis tabris: laevis makes unique friendship bracelets for everyone in the party. he learned to make them from shianni. he gives the first one to alistair after ostagar, then the next to morrigan on her first night outside of the korcari wilds. everyone gets one over time, with the last going to oghren because he was the last to be recruited. the awakening party gets them as well, so i guess anders/justice have two in da2 lol. he gifts them as nonchalantly as possible and insists that making friendship bracelets to comfort people you just met is a normal thing for a guy with an obvious fear of emotional intimacy to do. nobody believes him. but it’s his way of showing he cares, and they all treasure their bracelets.

arum hawke: arum hosts a dinner at the hawke estate once a week. sometimes merrill comes over early to help him cook. not everyone can make it every time, and sometimes someone only drops by to chat for a few minutes, but the door is open until late into the night. arum loves taking care of people. nothing brings him more joy. so he puts a lot of work into his dinners, gradually becoming quite the impressive chef. he lets everyone choose the meal when it’s their birthday (or if they don’t know theirs, they choose whatever date feels right as an honorary birthday to celebrate every year). somehow, arum’s dinners rarely involve bickering or fighting. it’s like the love he puts into his cooking soothes them. it’s almost weird. but it’s nice, it’s always nice.

mullein lavellan: mullein comes off as rather shy and proper, always diplomatic and always exhausted, but his closest friends see a mischievous and energetic side come out of him. his suggestions for pranks with sera are innovative and often feats of physics. he lets loose around bull, krem, and the chargers, sharing stories from before the inquisition that seem wildly out of character at first, but they come to know that he is a little freak deep down. he encourages dagna to attempt experiments that might be just a bit too dangerous and acts as her dutiful assistant whenever he can. he reads corny romance books just to talk about them with cassandra. he runs around with delight as cole soothes people’s pain. mullein works hard to remind everyone that he’s their equal, that he’s just a man and not some perfect figurehead, that he’s their friend before their leader. he doesn’t need to put in all that extra effort to prove it.

vervain mercar: before the veilguard, v could count his friends on one hand. it takes a lot to earn v’s trust. but once he trusts you, he’s a ride-or-die, and he lets you know by taking action. he will follow his friends into literally any situation. he will defend them with his life. he will tell their enemies to go fuck themselves without hesitation. sometimes he needs to be held back from swinging. he also collects little trinkets and tokens like a magpie and leaves them at his friends’ doors or desks. (he will deny it if accused. he will attempt to deny it if caught.) v may not show affection much in standard ways, but he makes his love known where it counts. and now he has more than two hands’ worth of friends to fuss over. good for him

💌: romance-themed headcanon

laevis tabris: laevis claims that he is not a romantic. he is lying. he adores love songs and rose petals and candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach. when zevran realizes that his corny poem genuinely made laevis weak in the knees, he starts going as over-the-top as possible with his gestures, into the realm of absurdity—a trail of roses leading to his tent, an impractically large patchwork stuffed bear, a heart drawn with the blood of his enemies, somehow an even worse poem—and literally nothing he tries doesn’t work on laevis. it’s a little pathetic to be honest, but zevran finds it unbelievably adorable. (laevis gets him back with an elaborate proposal that leaves zevran sobbing a few years down the line, so it’s fine, they’re even)

arum hawke: arum is so sweet and tender as a boyfriend that it’s a little sickening. he showers anders in kisses and gentle words in front of the entire party and is never deterred by their teasing. he braids anders’s hair, slow dances with him in the moonlight, and could truly spend hours just telling anders the things he adores about him if he doesn’t get cut off. he delivers declarations of love that fully knock anders to the ground in, like, the middle of the sewers. and he is so earnest. his well of affection is bottomless. he’s had brief boyfriends before, but no one could ever compare to anders, and he reminds him of that every chance he gets. he is disgustingly head over heels and i cannot fucking stand his ass

mullein lavellan: mullein has never been in a real relationship before dorian, so they’re stumbling through it together. but he’s willing to try anything once. they do a lot of experimenting (in multiple contexts). dates are a new idea to mullein, and they’re particularly weird at skyhold, but they make it work. he starts carrying a little notebook around with him and takes notes on things that work and things that don’t. he takes it very seriously. dorian thinks it is utterly charming. this continues until sera is overcome with curiosity as to what’s in the notebook that mullein won’t show anyone, not even her, and swipes it from him. she regrets it pretty quickly. mullein decides that he doesn’t need anyone else knowing too much about his personal life and locks the notebook in a drawer, resolving to focus on living in the moment from then on.

vervain mercar: to say v is horrendous at relationships is an understatement, but he hasn’t given himself much to work with. his taste in men is historically… not great. emmrich is the first time he’s found himself having feelings for someone who is actively nice to him, and it’s completely disarming. he’s not used to letting himself be cared for, nor is he used to caring for someone else. he manages to admit this to emmrich, and from there they take it slow, much slower than v is used to. he’s surprised at how much joy he takes in tenderness and vulnerability. it’s new and it’s scary and it’s exciting. anyway it turns out that v is extremely a cuddler. he clings to emmrich like a barnacle in his sleep. and he runs ridiculously hot. human elven space heater. rip emmrich

📿: faith-themed headcanon

laevis tabris: here!

arum hawke: arum isn’t andrastian. he’s one of the biggest chantry haters in thedas. but he’s very connected to being a spirit healer. in particular, there’s one spirit of compassion that grows fond of him. compassion guides arum in his healing, and arum trusts in compassion’s abilities. they have a mutual faith in one another that brings them together and makes them a very effective team. this eventually leads to arum offering himself up to be possessed by compassion, as compassion wants to help heal those in the mortal world even more closely, and arum hopes that with the two of them and anders/justice they can make significant headway on the cure for tranquility. and they do! it was never addressed ever again in canon so i can do what i want. arum/compassion are my best friends

mullein lavellan: doesn’t believe in the maker or the elven gods are we seeing a pattern here in this worldstate. big L on the elven gods thing. anyway mullein is a necromancer. he turns to necromancy after he learns the fate of clan lavellan, and the connection to the fade that he develops becomes integral to his ethos as a mage and as a friend to spirits. he always tries to see the good in others, and that carries over to spirits; he values what he learned from the avvar and from his close friendship with cole very deeply. he is fascinated by willing possession and the cooperation between spirits and mortals, and he has a deep respect for the spirits that aid him in his necromancy. mullein you would love the mourn watch

vervain mercar: v’s faith lies not in religion or spirituality but in people. he’s a shadow dragon. he might be jaded as shit, but he knows that the people fighting for their cause truly care about it. they’re making concrete change; nothing abstract or uncertain, nothing beyond the scope of his perception. i think he wants to have faith in the inherent goodness of people, but he’s a little too… (gestures) from tevinter to fully believe it. but he does have faith that things can get better, even if it requires doing a liiiiittle bit of murder to get there.

[the5thcellar]

The crossing boundary performative stuff is what makes the PR over the top and what turns people off. THAT is the stuff that isn’t needed or required of them. It makes everything about their supposed closeness questionable now. Professional PR industry folk were even on Twitter questioning certain behavior and said it went beyond normal and could potentially cause blowback.

this is a prime example of how the "it's all PR folks" are completely contradictory. it's not required of them to act that way.... so instead of accepting that they're genuine friends who share a level of intimacy and trust borne of their unique experiences ... people assume it's all fake ???

ok cool cool cool cool cool.

I mean. if that one photo of Antonia has y'all so fucking worked up I can't imagine how y'all are gonna react when more photos of them together start popping up. next thing I know y'all will start questioning if Nic and Luke even talk outside of doing their scenes together.

the lack of ability to deal with complexity and nuance is painful to watch.

different things can be true all at once. Luke and Nic can ham it up in interviews for the PR to tease fans. at the same time they can ALSO be really fucking great friends trying to navigate the fine line between friends and ... something else.

they can both see other people romantically ... and also be really fucking great friends who feel some type of way for each other.

they can get MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE and have kids and live whole other lives ... and also one day find their way back to each other.

this isn't even an uncommon path. it happens in real life and it happens in the celeb world.

I can't believe y'all think that just because they played some parts of their relationship up for PR ... that everything is suddenly fake and that they were outright lying to fans and trying to deceive them ...

and please miss me with the professional PR industry folk bs. I saw those tweets and rolled my eyes. I work in PR myself. those people were feeding into the frenzy and saying whatever would get them the most likes. it's obvious that it's hyperbole done for clicks. it's like doctors saying "I'm a medical professional and even I'm stumped by this case." they say it as a bit. if you actually asked them for their thoughts they WILL all have long drawn out explanations on the PR strategy the show is taking.

that's why media literacy and the humanities are so important. if people feel lied to regarding the PR, it's because they can't differentiate between when moments are exaggerated and when things are real. it's because they're too used to straightforward narratives à la Marvel movies and think what they see is literally what they get, instead of recognising that these are REAL PEOPLE with real lives and REAL relationships that are complicated. it's because they're watching too many tiktoks instead of reading novels and therefore not knowing how to read between the lines.

one rotten apple doesn't make the whole tree bad. if you feel you're being lied to and that the PR they did was all fake... that's mostly on you. find others who agree with you and can offer you the validation you clearly seek.

because i definitely don't feel the same.

[trilies]

you act as if people drawing and posting porn involving minors is normal behavior. not every CSA or COCSA victim is going to be comforted by people fetishizing the thing that traumatized them, acting like people being uncomfortable with DRAWN CHILD PORN is somehow taking resources away from victims is disgusting. Not to mention I doubt a good chunk of the larger artists known for drawing ~risque~ shit involving kids are all somehow CSA survivors. Not everyone who draws children and adults getting it on is a victim, what excuse do they have for making our trauma wank material? Pitching a fit about how people having an opinion about and acting like they're some bogeyman because they said it's nasty to sexualize children is a bad look. you say bog's obsessed when you've filled the recent posts with his tag with you whining about them. grow the fuck up and learn that "block someone if they post shit you don't agree with" can go both ways.

oh hey, someone with their name attached to an ask, haven't got one of those in a while

Anyway

(1) "you act as if people drawing and posting porn involving minors is normal behavior."

I mean, if we're going to be honest, a lot of things about erotic fantasies aren't "normal", so I don't really care about that word usage? That means nothing.

What I care about is actual harm, and there is no actual hard proof that these stories/art/fantasies/whatever *on their own* lead to a greater increase in CSA or grooming.

We know people may use it, but that's because groomers use everything. But we learned that we aren't going to hold candy stores on lock down, but rather teach kids about "stranger danger".

(2) "not every CSA or COCSA victim is going to be comforted by people fetishizing the thing that traumatized them"

Cool, I never said that. But it is undeniable that many other victims have found sanctuary in engaging with this fiction in one way or another, or even RECOGNIZED they'd been abused because they saw a fic tagged 'abuse' and connected it to their own life experiences.

What they need to do, if it has an adverse affect on their emotions, is learn to manage tags and their internet bubble.

This may surprise you, but I also don't like lolisho stuff. However, I manage to keep myself safe with proper internet use, not interacting with lolisho accounts, etc.

This can be made difficult depending on the exact site (twitter has always been a trashfire and it's only gotten worse), but the answer is to work together to find a way so that both parties can exist.

(3) "acting like people being uncomfortable with DRAWN CHILD PORN is somehow taking resources away from victims"

.....Yeah, I never said that either. Did you go to the wrong blog?

(4) "Not to mention I doubt a good chunk of the larger artists known for drawing ~risque~ shit involving kids are all somehow CSA survivors"

The problem here is that no one has a magical radar for detecting who's "actually" a CSA survivor or not. You can only ask, and, frankly, a lot of you can't be trusted with that information.

I know this from experience, where I said "this anime lady having mid-boobs isn't a sign she's minor-coded" and someone decided that meant I was lying about being a CSA survivor, or else I'd have agreed with them.

(5) "what excuse do they have for making our trauma wank material?"

I mean, one, they're not making "your" trauma wank material. They're not thinking about you, or me, or anyone at all. They're thinking about an anime character or whatever.

If we restrict writing/etc on "did they experience this exact trauma themselves", then we'd have to cut out a LOT of media.

secondly, I know for a fact that one of the theories to why people have rape fantasies is because of the stress of being marginalized in some way, where their sexualities constantly judged and there's no "right" answer which doesn't immediately contradict itself.

(for example, women having to fight between the cultural expectations of "whore" or "prude", so their brain provides a fantasy where they get the great sex but none of the responsibility because the choice was taken from them)

I'm sure some equally fascinating answers could be given for stuff like lolisho... but that would require you approaching people in good faith, recognizing that they're human, and not deciding from the get that they're evil boogeyman who want to hurt YOU specifically.

(7) "Pitching a fit about how people having an opinion about"

That you frame it like this indicates, at least to me, that you don't know how this conversation started out. It wasn't just bogleech "having an opinion". It was bogleech making unsubstantiated judgment calls, and doing things like taking a trans person's words out of context so he could make them look like a pedophile and send his rabid fanbase their way.

Add in him not listening to actual scientific studies and pedojacketing any CSA survivor who doesn't listen to him...

And that is the problem.

(8) "you've filled the recent posts with his tag with you whining about them"

yeah, I got asks about him. Other people were also criticizing him. I tagged with his name so that people who were sick of him and had his name muted and on a blacklist etc could avoid seeing him.

I don't know why that's a struggle to understand. It's basic consideration.

That he's the kind of guy who looks up on his own name on Google search is far more embarrassing.

[darklingwords]

So fucking sad

That's the thing. I can't go a day without running into something I can't think about. The fact I'm going blind. That I've never had a chance to love anyone. That my dad is dying. That I've wasted my life and my gifts. That I can't think anymore. That my memory is going. That at the end of my life everything will be stripped from me. Words and vision and nothing but pain, every day. That's my daily life anyway. I'm taking my brain tumor meds, so I have a headache. My joints all ache. Even when I'm lying down. Most nights I can't sleep. Either from the brain tumor meds or from being fucking terrified of what's in front of me. I get so scared it feels like I can't breathe.

I'm terrible at getting credit for the work I've done. I'm never going to get promoted. I get so scared when I think about standing up for myself. Just being around other people makes me panic. I tried therapy and group therapy with therapy. For CPTSD. It didn't help at all. It just proved that in a group of screwed up people I'm still weirdly fucked up in ways other people can't relate to. There was one person who had a mom kind of like me. She had some of the same problems too - not being able to open her mail. She'd actually married an autistic guy. I wonder if that's why I'm also drawn to autistic people. Like - the lack of manipulation and mind games. They just say what they think and don't mess about. They can be brutal - but sometimes that's easier. It didn't help me, I think, because cognitive therapy is about helping people think through different approaches and untangle what they feel. That's not my problem. I'm pretty analytical already. And you have to trust people to be vulnerable. Turns out I'm pretty shitty at that. I tend to test people. I say "X is very important to me. It's key to understanding who I am." like literally that. And if the other person pays no attention to that - then I don't bother telling them other things that are important. Because they didn't notice or care. I'll mention X - in the case of my last therapist - again and again. In this case it was a movie. But he never bothered to google it. So I knew. He just wasn't that invested. Plus he was constantly rescheduling me to go give talks and train other therapists. Only I hate rescheduling, so I'd just say - let's skip it. So I ended up only seeing him twice in two months. It made me feel really irrelevant. When I left he was surprised and said he hardly ever has people leave. I believe that actually, so many people in the therapy group were wounded birds that would never function normally. You'd have to be a therapist to stand them. I include myself in that. So therapy was a crutch - a support. But it was the wrong kind of crutch for me. I don't need someone to say "how do you feel about that" I need a hug. I need encouragement. I need someone who'll be happy when I succeed. Someone I feel like i can trust. I asked him why he never seemed happy and he said most patients don't like it if he's happy while they're having a hard time. For me, it felt off - like he was faking his interactions with me. It made it hard to trust him. And I hate theraputic interactions anyway. I'm always more interested in other people than in me. I'm boring.

[pepperdog131]

Chapter 2

Chapter two - The death of yet another school

I swear I don’t mean to destroy ever school I go to, it just kind of… happens. So there I was. Minding my own business checking out yet another school to attend, when this girl kind of caught my eye. Now not in the way you would expect, she wasn’t pretty, or ugly for that matter, she was quite average. I don’t know what exactly it was, but something about her was just suspicious so I followed her after the bell rang. Well, as it turns out those trying to avoid trouble probably shouldn’t pursue suspicious people, because I am now fighting a demon girl who is about to blast me through some wall. *BAM*. All I can see is fire, and as the son of the sea god, it’s not the most comfortable place to be. I do a couple tricks, she does a couple tricks, a couple drinking fountains die, the norm. Anyways by the end of it she has been sent back to the underworld and I’m running towards the outside exit when I hear the faintest voice telling me to wait. I know this voice by now, it’s my dad, Poseidon. I haven’t the faintest idea why he would want me to stay in a band room currently going up in literal flames that is basically about to collapse on top of me. I look up at the ceiling and sigh. “Fine.” I say. I turn back and scramble around. There’s a roped off section, and this might just be a me thing, but if you rope somewhere off I am more likely to want to go there. I run in and see her. A red headed girl lying on the ground. “Crap!” I shout. I pick her up. Her arm falls out of a backpack strap and her backpack’s contents spills out. There are plenty of books and whatnot, but what interests me are the various fidget toys that come tumbling out. I am tempted to take one, for my ADHD, but know I can only hold so many things. 

I run out of the band room and see firemen starting to show up. I don’t want me or this girl to get into any trouble, so I run around the building to get away from them, careful not to be seen. 

Once we’re about a block away, at a park, and I can barely hold her anymore, I set her down. She lyes there in the grass. It suddenly occurs to me that maybe I should have left her with the firemen so they could treat any burns, though now that I look at her, I don’t actually see any. She looks pretty normal, other than the fact that her clothes are still smoldering. I consider what to do and am ready to just leave her there when I notice her necklace. It has a hammer that seems to be in a blazing fire, almost like something Tyson would use… 

“I wonder…”. I suddenly think back to all the fidget toys, and how she hasn’t been burned at all, even though she was lying in a literal fire for who knows how long. She quickly opens her eyes and jolts awake. I jump back. She looks alright, not hurt, but I can’t help but be drawn to her eyes. The iris start orange near the pupil, and turn deep red near the white. This only seems to confirm my suspicions. “Hi, what’s your name?” I ask her. She gives me a very sketched out look and says

        “You first.”          

“Fair enough. Hi. My name is Percy Jackson and I would like to take you to a camp for people like us.”

“What do you mean people like us? If you’re about to tell me I’m a wizard, you can just go away now.” She says. Then she stands up and starts walking away.

“Wait! I’ll explain if you just come with me.”

“You just expect me to follow some stranger?”

“I’m not a stranger, I told you my name! Besides, what do you have to lose?”

      “Oh, I don’t know, my life? Also you only claimed that is your name, you have zero evidence to back it up, and New York is like one of the most crime ridden cities in America!” She shouts at me.

        “Well you clearly have some trust issues.” She gives me a look. “Look, have you ever been attacked by a monster?” I ask. Her face turns hard. “Exactly. I can explain all of that.” She rolls her eyes, but starts walking. We start our walk and I explain about halfbloods and camp and how Greek Mythology is true. We are currently in Auburn, New York, so I tell her it’ll take us about two days to get to camp on foot. “Well then. We’re stuck together for a few days. What’s your name? Is your family going to freak when they realize you’re missing?”

“…My name is Cyra, and I don’t have any.”

“Well Cyra, let’s get you home to your family.”

[takerfoxx]

What's interesting to me is how Loid's training as a spy has made him the ideal father, but only specifically for Anya.

I mean, look at what kind of spy he is. He's an infiltrator, a master of disguise. His job is to play the long game, to present himself as someone his targets would be drawn to and gain their trust. As such, he is attentive to his surroundings, detail-oriented, and empathetic. He is able to tell instantly when Anya likes something and to focus on that, or when something is upsetting to her and to remove her from that situation. He is sensitive to her mood changes and reacts accordingly to her needs.

Now that might make him a good father in general, but let's also not forget that at the end of the day, he's also using Anya as a means to an end. It's of course not malicious, it's just his job, but a normal kid would pick up on that disconnect and be affected by it. However, because Anya is both telepathic and a spy thriller fan, she knows exactly why Loid sometimes behaves the way he does and is absolutely thrilled by it. To her, this is normal spy behavior and isn't hurt by it like normal kids would be.

Furthermore, his blunt nature is probably refreshing to her. She's used to people like the creep who runs the orphanage saying one thing while thinking another. However, Loid's directness will have him plainly state what he's thinking and move on, such as him not humoring her when it came to her attempts to "help" at preparing the house for Yor. And the one big thing he is lying about is the one thing she is totally cool about him lying about, because spy intrigue is awesome!

And finally, because his background means that he became a spy to build a better world for kids, giving him a soft spot for children. As such, he develops genuine affection for Anya that he normally not would have for one of his marks, to the point where he's willing to aggressively defend her even if it jeopardizes his mission. And Anya, who has been mistreated, lied to, and abandoned by adults her whole life now has someone who will stand up for her even if it's a detriment to himself.

Granted, it's not perfect. Overhearing him considering taking her back to the orphanage definitely hit upon her triggers, but that's hardly his fault because he had no way of knowing that she can read thoughts. Plus their dynamic isn't great for her impression that she has to prove herself to be useful in order to be loved. But I imagine as their bond grows those rough spots will be sanded down

Or it could come crashing down around them, as I imagine all the secrets will be blown eventually and Loid and Yor's respective loyalties will probably means that we're going to get Twilight vs. the Thorn Princess at some point with poor Anya freaking out in the middle. But until then, hey, it's a lot better than what she had, right?

[prettyrealm]

halle bailey mini personality reading

positives + negatives

+ positives

she really enjoys living in luxury and the finer things in life, really prioritizes having time to herself (i get she might even puts her phone on “do not disturb” a lot), physically and mentally strong and resilient, skilled and disciplined in her craft, she knows how to put her foot down (i can really seeing this being big in her career as well, she’s not gonna do what she doesn’t wanna do and it will take a lot to make her), actively tries to go against the grain and see the other side (she may give things, people & ideas a chance that others wouldn’t) isn’t afraid to stand up for what she believes in, refuses to sacrifice her dignity (again if it’s not for her, she’s not doing it), she can be very seductive when she wants to (i don’t think she has problems going after the people she wants at all), loves to challenge herself in pretty much every aspect (physically, mentally, in her career and maybe even in love) I think she enjoys growing and experiencing things (she tries not to live with regrets and takes bad experiences on as an oppritunity for learning and growth) completely trusts in a higher power (possibly very religious and dedicated) not afraid of conflict or disagreements or even competition (and again, it comes up really strongly that she stands her ground 😭 like she’s ten toes or nothing)

- negatives

easily bored, not very organized, not a good friend - i can see her being pretty fake and two-faced (she has many enemies or ex friends that dislike her for valid reasons), destructive, again it comes up pretty strongly that she gossips and spreads rumors a lot, but not even like normal harmless rumors, i can see her doing a lot of damage with this, very dictatorial & bossy, she can be very demanding and only want things done her way (it’s the energy of her being like “when I say jump, you better ask how high”), she may have a pattern of purposely making people overestimate their importance in her life or even providing a very nurturing friendship/relationship before cutting them off like nothing (leaving them confused) it’s as if she loves hard - but she’ll drop you just as fast as she picked you up, lies unprovoked (she may even go as far as lying about things in advance - like super drawn out lies so you won’t ask her about it when it’s actually relevant months or years later) takes herself too seriously, pretends to be smarter & better than she actually is (she works hard to paint an image for others) i think there’s a lot she’s hiding about herself.

[sweet-sunshine99]

What does spirit want to tell you? - 🌕🥀

Pick any pile you feel drawn to, don't overthink your choice. If it feels right, you can pick more than one pile, you know what's best. Piles starts from left to right, the square being pile 1 and the triangle being pile 3.

Disclaimer: The following is for entertainment purposes only, always put logic and your own intuition before any pick-a-card reading. If something doesn't resonate don't force it to, this simply means the message is for someone else.

Pile 1 ✨

As soon as I started this pile I really felt that you need to slow down. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are the only person who will always be with you throughout your entire life so it's important to make sure you're in the right mental state to properly take care of yourself.

A healthy amount of stress is normal, sometimes we don't have the privilege to rest. But you shouldn't overwork yourself when you already have enough on your plate. Take care of yourself and be responsible, but remember that you don't always have to be perfect. It's okay to have bad days, one mistake doesn't make you any less worthy or intelligent.

Things that might resonate:

Yellow, birds, prayer/praying, anniversary, wedding, rhinestone, cultural foods, connecting with ethnic roots, connecting with religion, a proposal, commitment.

Pile 2 🌜

I think those of you that chose this pile might be emotionally distant, closed off, maybe a bit angry, you might have a hard shell. This could present as you being cold and distant to those that love you, or as you judging and harming yourself.

You've been hurt in the past so you've learnt to act distant to protect yourself, I know it's hard but it'd be beneficial to let your guard down to the best of your ability. Sometimes our bodies physically block ourselves from from relaxing and we begin to operate on fight or flight at all times. In a situation like this, self acceptance is key. Similarly to pile 1, if you find yourself struggling to do something remember that it's okay to have bad days. Good things take time, the more you persist the easier it will get, even if it's hard to see change at first.

Pile 2 you need to be more gentle to yourself and others. I think this pile needs to work on trust issues. Of course you shouldn't believe everything everyone says but at some point it really stresses you out more in the end. There are big lies you need to look out for, but for example, if someone is telling you a story from their past, is it really necessary to question them? Sure they may be lying but is it worth your time? Will it hurt anyone if they are? Will you even remember? Some things just aren't worth your time and energy, more important things deserve your attention.

Things that might resonate:

Jealous of other's relationships, heartbreak, deep grief/sorrow, unrequited love, menstrual cycle, ovulation, the moon, connection to femininity, nature.

Songs that might resonate:

Slow dancing in the dark - Joji, Heartless - The Weeknd

Pile 3 💫

Omg omg pile 3 I love you immediately I can tell that you're treated so poorly and most of the time you don't know why. This is because you're not doing anything wrong, you're not half the things people label you as. You know yourself best and you should never try to be someone you're not just to please people you don't even like.

I have a feeling this pile is super intuitive. People might try to tell you to do things differently when they see how you handle your life, but they don't know everything. They haven't lived your life, they don't know enough about your situation to give you the best guidance but a lot of people think that they do. You're pretty smart and you notice the little things others don't, this is why you should listen to yourself. You literally have more information to make an efficient decision.

Some of you are stressed over a deadline or a time limit. Some of you are scared of death or the afterlife. I'm not going to lie your worries are reasonable, but some things have a limited way of being done. Sometimes we don't have the necessities to go for a more simple solution and it sucks, it's not fair. You're allowed to feel bad, but please try to see the good side of things. We are biased creatures so naturally we find what are looking for. When we intentionally look for good things, we're more likely to find them. What I mean is that sometimes we have to take a step back to get ahead of where we are now. This is unpleasant while it's happening but in the end it'll be more than worth it.

Things that might resonate:

Music, making music, producing music, love songs, therapy, clinics, a private person, a secretive person, a crush, dancing, learning how to dance, makeup, niche interests, spending too much time on social media, cosmetology, beauty products, self care.

Placements that might resonate:

Virgo, leo 2H, 3H venus, 2H venus, aquarius rising, 1H chiron.

[rapazart]

I'm watching materwelonz's GOW ragnarok playthrough and enjoying it a lot, and I've just reached the part where we play as atreus and go find freya with sindri. and atreus starts talking about his feelings.

poor atreus. it's clear that he wishes his dad was with him. he doesn't want to sneak around to do things, he wants to share his adventures with him and benefit from his experience. but he knows that if he tells his father he's been sneaking around, he'll be mad and he'll accuse atreus of lying and state that his lying is proof that he can't be trusted to do adventures.

I hope atreus realises that he's lying because kratos himself is actively encouraging him to lie. as many, many parents in kratos' situation do in real life.

kratos is worried and scared for atreus. these are completely normal feelings for a parent in kratos' situation. and he's even discussing them with mimir, good for him! but the thing is that, in response to these feelings, he has drawn a circle around atreus' life and said "son, your life must not grow beyond this circle until *I* feel ready for it". because inside the circle is where kratos feels control over his fears. however, it is not fair to burden our children with managing our feelings. and, that's not how growing up works. neither atreus nor anybody else can just choose to slow down our growing when it becomes inconvenient for the people that raise us.

but kratos (and many real-life parents) don't seem to realise this. he sees atreus doing perfectly normal behaviours for his age (taking risks, doing tasks on his own, cultivating relationships independelty of his family), but because he doesn't know how to handle the fear and worry that comes from them, he gets mad at atreus and punishes him.

this means that atreus is in an impossible situation, because he can not just stop growing up. no matter kratos' feeling about it, he can't stop growing up. therefore, in order to avoid his father's anger, he only has two terrible options: lying, which hurts his relationship with his father; or cutting off the parts of his life, of his personality, that his father is not ready to face yet. make himself small and malleable, twist himself into the shape that his father feels like he can cope with.

I hope atreus realises that his lying doesn't prove that he doesn't deserve trust; I hope he realises that the very reason he's lying is because kratos has proven himself to be untrustworthy.