#i forgot how to write stuff

[egophiliac]

I loved your drawing(and I love your style in general) with Leia in your recent post! If/when you have time can we see more of her in your style? I get so happy whenever I actually see people mention/talk about her and she’s not just forgotten because we didn’t get to see much of her. 😭

thank you! 💙💙💙 Leia/Leah/Lea/whatever is fascinating to me. she is the ultimate unknown. what was she like? how involved (or even aware of any details of the invasion) was she? Silver's basically a physical carbon copy of his biodad, so what did he get from her? like, I understand why the two of them kind of have to stay as these super vague and mysterious figures -- the whole point of them is that their story ended 400+ years ago and they're not really relevant anymore (and. well. the more that gets explained about them, the less that can just kinda be handwaved as "oh the politics were Very Messy") (we can sit here and theorize all day but let us acknowledge that, ultimately, canon gave us almost nothing about them post-Meleanor and we'd just be making things up). I do still wonder about her though! RIP Lea, we never knew you and we probably never will.

actually you know what, as long as we're here, I think I WILL go ahead and just make some stuff up about what Silver might've inherited from her instead.

[stellewriites]

Hii! Can you do ghoap x reader fluff? Like cuddles with mild flirting (from soap, obviously) and like soap is the little spoon, because in return he gets head scratches in return, reader in the middle, and Simon as the big spoon just pressing his face into the crook of readers neck?

Would rlly apreciate it <3

-🌑

i loved this idea when i read it and then proceeded to take far too long to actually answer it lmao BUT!! here it is,, ghoap x fem!reader fluff - ty for the request 💓

you picked up the cheap jar of pasta sauce and compared it to the branded version stacked next to it. as far as you could tell, the ingredients were the same and the little veg chunks included weren’t any smaller.

you nodded to yourself. it was decided, you weren’t paying two quid extra just for a name, fuck dolmio.

you looked higher to the top shelf and frowned when you saw the pasta had been pushed away from the edge and you’d be unable to reach it on your own.

“need a hand, dove?”

you turned to see a handsome man with a mohawk beelining towards you, his eyes tracing your frame with hot familiarity. without waiting for your response, he bullied his way into your space to reach over you for the pasta. barely stepping back, he handed you the pack and looked you up and down.

“thanks, stranger,” you said, holding back a laugh at his amused smile. you saw the moment he decided to play along.

“pretty skirt,” he said and nodded down to your bare legs peeking out beneath the denim.

“hm, my boyfriend got me it,” you said, a little teasingly.

“oh? and this boyfriend, he’s left ye all alone to do the shoppin’ has he?”

“no, he’ll be back soon. and he’s kinda protective, won’t be happy seeing me talking to other guys,” you said trying not to smile.

“ah’m no’ scared,” he scoffed, his own smile breaking out as he looked around the aisle eagerly for the aforementioned boyfriend.

“i don’t know, he’s pretty big and strong, wears a scary mask,” you said.

“aye? reminds me o’ my boyfriend,” he said and you finally giggled, leaning in to kiss him and giving up playing pretend.

“dove, they got their tiger bread in stock again,” simon said as he rounded the corner of the aisle and interrupting your kiss. “i ha’n’t ‘ad this in ages.” simon barely paused at the unexpected appearance of johnny, his eyes turning up in the corners as he smiled under his mask. “johnny, look, tiger bread.”

“yeah, i seen, si,” johnny said fondly, crowding you back against the trolley. “only getting the one loaf?”

simon paused. “hm. you’re right.”

you snorted as he dropped the bread into the trolley before heading back to the bakery section and leaving the pair of you alone again.

“work was a fookin’ drag, dove, cannae stand all this paperwork they’re keepin’ me busy with,” johnny groaned into your temple. you petted his arm consolingly before turning back to your list and shopping trolley.

“you were injured less than a month back, john, you can’t have been expecting to be back in the field so soon?” you hummed as you continued shopping with johnny leant over your back.

his silence spoke volumes.

you shook your head as you made your way through the store and waved simon over as you passed him by, hoping he hadn’t harassed the bakery staff into making more tiger loaves last minute for him. the absolute fiend.

“wha’s wrong with him?” simon asked as he got back, hands full as he nodded to johnny’s slumped frame. you refrained from asking simon if you really needed three tiger breads and instead nudged your other boyfriend up from your shoulder.

“he’s bored,” you said easily, grinning when johnny pulled back properly to send you a betrayed look.

“fuck’s sake. c’mere,” simon huffed before dipping down to kiss him, chuffing a laugh as johnny sputtered at the woollen texture of the mask in between them. “you’ll be back in no time. just behave or it’ll be longer.”

“ye sound like cap,” johnny grimaced. he wiped a hand down his tired face. “when are we goin’ home, hm? fuckin’ knackered, could do with a nap before dinner.”

“y’drive ‘ere?” ghost asked while you grabbed a box of eggs, checking for any cracked inside.

“aye.”

“then you can leave whenever,” ghost said flatly, though the glint of his eyes in the overhead lights betrayed his amusement at johnny’s plight.

johnny pouted.

“yer cruel, si. tell him, dove, he’s heartless,” johnny bemoaned dramatically.

“you’re cruel and heartless, simon, would you prefer strawberry jam or raspberry for a change?”

“could be a treat,” ghost conceded.

johnny groaned at the both of you, pinching your hip when you laughed.

“you both know i cannae sleep without someone’s arms around me,” he huffed, turning his big puppy eyes on you both.

you caved immediately.

“aw poor baby,” you cooed, biting your lip when you saw simon roll his eyes. “let’s get this done quick then, yeah? go grab the burgers we like from the frozen section and that ice cream we got a couple weeks back.”

“yes, ma’am.” johnny jogged off.

“si, can i trust you not to make your way back to the bakery if i give you a list of items to grab?”

“no,” he admitted without shame. “i saw the lad in the back prepping more for tomorrow, think i could convince ‘im to cook ‘em now for me if given the time.”

“right. hand holding it is as we find the toiletries then. ‘s like herding cats with you two.”

simon hummed, his eyes trained on the section you knew the bakery to be hidden in.

—

once home, johnny packed away the majority of your shopping in record time, snatching the jam from simon’s hands and almost throwing it onto the work top before plying his mask up one handed and dragging him down into a rough kiss with the other. you watched, amused, with raised eyebrows as johnny dragged him back towards the bedroom desperately, waving a hand at you and gasping out a needy, “dove, c’mon, stop fucking around,” in between wet kisses.

you didn’t need to be told twice before attaching your hands onto simon’s thick waist from behind, guiding them from bumping into any furniture or walls as they stumbled blind to the bedroom.

johnny pulled back with a dopey smile and pushed simon none too gently onto the bed. you took advantage of his lowered height and pulled off his mask completely, rubbing a gentle hand over his buzz cut hair and down to his jaw. you leant in for a soft peck before feeling johnny’s hands and arms wrap around your soft stomach.

he clung to you, nuzzling at your cheek over your shoulder until you turned in his arms to share your attention.

you heard the bed creak as simon settled further up the bed as johnny kissed you. you shuffled back, parting from johnny just long enough to get your bearings and climb onto the bed, simon’s hands moving to guide you back as johnny hummed against your lips.

you flopped back into simon’s arms, got comfortable as he wrapped you up and held you tight against him.

johnny sighed in relief at the sight and shuffled down so he could rest his head on your chest.

you gathered him close and laughed when he started whining when your hands stayed on his shoulders.

“so needy johnny, have you ever heard the phrase ‘patience is a virtue’?” you teased as you started to run your nails through his hair, lightly scratching until he sighed and dropped his body weight against you and simon.

“too t’red,” he mumbled.

simon lifted his warm hand from your hip and draped it heavily over the back of johnny’s neck, keeping him close. soon enough, the scot was snoring.

you tried not to laugh, your chest bouncing johnny with your muffled chuckles. “i think that might be a record.”

“tired lamb,” simon said condescendingly, but he rubbed his thumb lovingly over the soft skin behind johnny’s ear.

“don’t be mean.” you grinned back at him.

simon hummed and rested his head into the crook of your neck, tucking you in closer with the arm still wrapped underneath your waist. “not bein’ mean.”

he nipped at your neck, a soft nibble that had you gasping and clenching your thick thighs around the one johnny had slipped inbetween.

“prick,” you huffed without malice when he stopped and let out a long tired breath in your ear. he hummed with closed eyes, clearly not listening.

you chuffed a laugh into johnny’s hair. the low thrum of arousal simon had brought on was easy enough to ignore but you’d have rather he’d finished what he started. instead, you tucked your cold toes between his large calves behind you in penance and tugged johnny even closer, enough to smother him. with your arse perched perfectly in simon’s lap and johnny nestled close to his second favourite place on your body, you were sure they’d give you what you were after once their nap is over. you closed your eyes with a smile; you could wait for them to get their energy up, and you loved your puppy piles just as much as they did.

[hardsellingit]

trLukey and the psychological effects of long-term sensory deprivation

I wrote a short post on this yesterday but since you all seemed interested, here's a more comprehensive analysis of my thoughts on trLukey's interest in pain and how it relates to his time in the Null, and how long-term TSD (total sensory deprivation) may have affected him!

Prior to starting: All references to Lukey are referring to trLukey. I have studied this but it was a few years ago so please point out if I have any out of date info. Also, sorry if I go into Academic Language Mode lol. I'm happy to clarify my language or provide further sources!

ccLukey doesn't really play into this all too much, so it's more of an analysis of the concept rather than a more direct character analysis.

A large majority of studies about this topic reference torture, animal cruelty, self-harm and suicidal behaviours etc. I will not go into these, but be aware if you wish to read the sources and go further into this topic that it's a very common factor.

Also this post is just over 2300 words long erm. get comfy

So:

Let's look at long-term sensory deprivation. Of course, studies and research we have on this is significantly shorter term than what Lukey experienced, but it would be literally impossible to study that haha.

What we know about Lukey's Null experience is that he was shut in a small space (test tube), for an extremely long period of time (possibly years into the millions, we don't have a specific time frame). The only sensory inputs we are sure he had was experimentation done on him by the Keepers (Snail experimentation particularly) and what sounds like fairly rare occasions on which Newt would take him for walks. The Null itself is a dark, drab space. Structurally, it appears to be entirely constructed of obsidian and/or black concrete, with only what others have added to it being different from that. The Keepers are unable to talk out loud, and aside from teleportation seem to move in silence. They also all look the same. So Lukey was in the darkness and silence, generally entirely alone, in a tiny, confined space, and slowly losing his memory bit by bit. Let's examine the effects of this:

Memory

So the first point is, they wouldn't've needed the Snails to remove Lukey's memory. When deprived of external sensory cues and social interaction for extended periods, memory encoding and retrieval mechanisms begin to deteriorate, particularly episodic memory (autobiographical, time-anchored data). Without new experiences to anchor itself and it's cognition, the brain may lose connection from time, self, and continuity, seen in extreme solitary confinement [study], Antarctic isolation studies, and simulated Mars missions (eg Mars500, HI-SEAS). Over millennia, this would create near-total identity fragmentation.

Lukey would likely have ongoing trouble with recall, particularly linear recall, and a very distorted sense of time.

Social Hypervigilance

Long-term social isolation impairs the brain’s default mode network (DMN), which is responsible for self-referential thinking, empathy, and internal narrative. The DMN is especially sensitive to the absence of interpersonal engagement and verbal interaction. Lukey would likely lose the ability to internally rehearse social scripts or anticipate others intentions, leading to flattened social cognition, hypervigilance, or a skewed sense of trust. It's interesting if we see Lukey act as a 'social manipulator', and instead read it as social hypervigilance. The amygdala and anterior insula (tied to threat detection) become more reactive after social exclusion [study]. This leads to chronic scanning of the environment for social threats (real or imagined), aka social hypervigilance.

Social interaction is biologically necessary for humans. The brain treats social isolation similarly to physical hunger. Tomova et al found that after just ten hours of isolation, the midbrain reward centres (especially the substantia nigra and ventral tegmental area) lit up in response to social images the same way they light up for food after fasting.

We often see Lukey overanalyze social interaction. On one side is that he uses every opportunity to study someone (see recently, during the conversation when Water told him she's a dragon, he was literally taking notes on it) and to pick apart conversations to find what he can use against people. Interestingly, he also does so with positive thought. Watch him and Pangi simultaneously while they talk to each other in chat, and you can see that Lukey will INCREDIBLY overanalyze Pangi's chat messages (reading Pangi as more bothered by Lukey making a joke, for example, when Pangi's actual reaction is very neutral). I feel I'm explaining this badly but it's something I've noticed. In another word, he assumes he's ragebaiting Pangi more than he actually is.

He also really wants reassurance from others, most notably recently during the trial chambers with Pangi when he was directly asking for reassurance and praise. Also, he can be not necessarily confrontational but definitely testing, pushing people (particularly Pangi) in various manners to see how they react, utilising lying and gaslighting to test people.

These can all be tied to social hypervigilance, with the absence of social feedback leading to overcompensation in social interaction and boundary testing and reassurance seeking to recalibrate one's understanding of social scripts.

[study]

Thalamo-Cortical Dysregulation (Hallucinatory Reactions)

This is sort of minor as we don't exactly see this, but the thalamus acts as a relay for sensory information. When incoming stimuli are absent, the cortex begins generating spontaneous activity, leading to hallucinations, confusion, and sometimes catatonia or emotional blunting. It's likely Lukey would've had hallucinatory experiences in the Null, which looking back at the streams with the doors/memories... there's something there for sure lol. But I'll leave this point since it's fairly short.

Touch Deprivation and Pain-Seeking

Now this is the big point. Everyone's pointed out Lukey's pain-seeking behaviour. We all know it, we've all seen it. This was the central point of my original post lol. So lets talk about it.

Prolonged absence of physical contact (aka touch starvation) often produces dysregulated sensory thresholds. Individuals become either hypersensitive or hyposensitive to input. In some, this results in pain-seeking behaviours (including self-injury or deriving comfort from harm), due to a release of endorphins and dopamine when the body is finally stimulated.

If Lukey experienced experimentation as his only tactile contact, he may have developed a neurochemical dependence on pain as a substitute for interaction. This would be especially likely in someone with a fragmented or deteriorating sense of body ownership, which would likely be the result of memory loss combined with TSD and lack of physical contact points. He may seek intense stimulus just to confirm that he exists. Newt’s walks would likely be the point that anchors Lukey’s entire social framework, so even painful interactions from the Keepers might be processed as attention instead of harm, especially if they broke the monotony or confirmed he still existed. Lukey might seek punishment, damage, or contact as a proxy for affection or attention.

I'm going to go ahead assuming you're at least generally familiar with dopamine and its role. Dopamine is generally called the 'happy chemical', but more than that it also regulates motivation, reward learning, pain, and withdrawal. When dopamine spikes, the brain adapts by reducing receptor sensitivity, which leads to stronger cravings and possible addiction.

Over time, this creates a dopaminergic deficit state. The brain’s baseline dopamine tone dips, and normal stimuli no longer register as motivating or rewarding. In Lukey’s case, this likely began during his time in the Null, where sensory input was minimal and inconsistent. Deprived of the sensory and social events that normally trigger dopamine release, his brain may have downregulated not only dopamine receptors, but also its ability to anticipate reward at all.

When Lukey now asks Pangi to hit him, attack him, etc, this may not be (exclusively) masochism in the traditional sense. It may be an attempt to stimulate systems that have been dormant, through the crash and surge of dopamine. And, Pangi is someone he trusts. In Lukey’s internal logic, being hurt by someone safe is likely categorically different from being hurt by someone cold or uncaring. A substitute for connection when more gentle forms of contact might feel deeply alien to him, considering for how long he completely didn't receive it.

Additionally, the predictability of being hurt by a trusted person matters. The Keepers, though consistent in appearance, were mute, expressionless, and unreadable. Pangi, by contrast, Lukey can read his reactions, even if imperfectly. This adds a layer of social feedback to the physical input, something his brain may crave even more than sensation itself. Lukey knows he can push Pangi into hurting him, understands Pangi's buttons and which he can and can't push, and he also knows that he's /safe/ being hurt by Pangi. He is so deeply assured that Pangi wont kill him, he's said it so many times (do it, you wont). He knows he can get that stimulation from him in a safe manner.

And just like in cases of non-suicidal self-injury, the behaviour may reinforce itself. Endorphins and dopamine are released not only in response to pain, but also in anticipation of it, so the cycle loops. Each time he’s struck or injured, his brain may offer a brief window of relief. Which then fades, leaving him back in the void, until the next jolt is needed. At which point he knows he can just push Pangi again, which means Pangi is likely associated with particularly positive 'rush' reactions in him :).

There can be positive, even stabilising, effects when someone like Lukey receives safe, consensual, predictable pain from a trusted person like Pangi.

Pain activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight), but when it’s followed or provided by soothing or presence from someone safe, the parasympathetic 'rest and digest' system kicks in. This shift is thought to reset the stress response, helping the body cycle out of chronic freeze or shutdown states.

Weighted blankets, compression, or strong hugs work similarly, because they give clear consistent somatosensory input. The underlying mechanism is proprioceptive stimulation, which can calm the nervous system and help a person locate themselves in space, something Lukey likely struggles with post-Null.

Intense sensation also triggers beta-endorphins (I'm not getting the symbol lol) which blunt pain and create feelings of euphoria, calm, or even emotional warmth. Especially if Lukey anticipates pain from Pangi, his brain may spike dopamine in the mesolimbic pathway (specifically the nucleus accumbens). That means pain, when trusted and expected, can feel rewarding, because the neurochemical afterglow offers temporary relief from his otherwise blunted or dysregulated state.

Regular stimulation, particularly on different body areas, helps maintain the somatosensory homunculus in the brain (aka, the brain's 'map' of the body based on sensory input). In long-term deprivation, those maps degrade. Pain could act as an effective way to rebuild them.

Pain from someone else, especially someone emotionally significant, might also help Lukey distinguish where he ends and the other begins. After so long with no mirrored social feedback, even negative contact becomes a way to restore a boundary that otherwise feels undefined.

Safe pain from a safe person can retrain Lukey’s brain to associate sensation with care. In trauma theory, this is called 'corrective emotional experience': getting the opposite of what you expect (eg hurt followed by rejection and isolation -> instead, hurt followed by calm and staying and familiar reaction).

Lukey might also experience surges of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. That means even harmful-seeming interactions can build trust, if they’re safe, repeatable, and under Lukey’s control.

(I could go into a whole different thing about his control stuff but not here lol. Perhaps most relevantly, Lukey's pain-seeking behaviour represents a reclamation of agency that was absent during his Null experience. In the test tube, pain and sensation were imposed upon him without consent, warning, or ability to stop the experience. He was a passive recipient of whatever the Keepers chose to inflict. Now when he provokes Pangi, he's orchestrating the entire interaction. He chooses the timing, the method of provocation, the intensity of response he's seeking. He maintains the power to stop, escalate, or redirect the encounter. The psychological safety of this arrangement cannot be overstated.)

In a real world context, this is not a safe long-term solution. The nervous system may eventually adapt, requiring increasing intensity to get the same result. And if Pangi ever withdraws or refuses, Lukey might experience distress, confusion, or interpret it as rejection, especially if no other regulatory tools are in place. However, this isn't the real world, so it's probably fine <3

Attachment Dysregulation

Lukey's anxious-resistant attachment style, as mentioned by the CC, creates a particularly complex relationship with physical contact and pain. In attachment theory, touch serves as a primary regulatory mechanism: infants learn emotional regulation through caregiver contact, and adults continue to use physical connection for co-regulation.

For someone who experienced touch starvation during critical identity formation (even if that formation was rebuilding rather than initial development), the nervous system may struggle to distinguish between different types of physical contact. The brain, desperate for any form of attachment cue, might process even painful touch as preferable to no touch at all.

This manifests in Lukey's simultaneous craving for and testing of Pangi's boundaries. He seeks reassurance through physical contact, but his dysregulated attachment system doesn't trust that the contact will continue or remain safe. By provoking Pangi into striking him, he's essentially forcing attachment through sensation - creating a scenario where Pangi must respond to him physically, guaranteeing that momentary connection.

Thoughts

There's more I could talk about but this is getting very long lol. I was originally going to bring in my audhd interpretation of trLukey but decided to focus more on the general effects of TSD. The overall thought there is that in an audhd context, dopamine is already heavily restricted and dysregulated, which would exacerbate these effects, though honestly at this scale it wouldn't be that much different lol.

I'd love so bad for trLukey to talk further about how the Null affected him, but I'm not sure he will, so instead, I hope this gives you some insight into the effects of TSD and also the things that affect my personal interpretation of Lukey!

If you have any questions or thoughts on this PLEASE feel free to tell me. I, obviously, love this stuff deeply. Let's all play with our toys together <3

[vynxwave]

Share your thoughts on MegaSound? It was one of my first Transformers ships and even though it's not a rarepair or anything it's oddly less popular than I'd expect, and I don't see a lot of analysis of what their relationship is actually like in various canons

I'd love to! Yeah, finding out it's not as popular as I thought was surprising. With Soundwave often depicted as loyal to Megatron, I really would've thought it'd be more popular than it is. You're definitely right about there being a lack of analyses on their relationship, so I think I'll eventually make a post analyzing their relationship in various canons. For this post I'll be going over how I see MegaSound (and from what parts of canon I derive it from) and sharing thoughts about its (lack of) popularity/prevalence.

Here I'll note the basis of canon I ship them from across various continuities where they have a positive relationship*:

Megatron likes monologuing in Soundwave's presence and talking with him (Dreamwave Generation 1 (2002) #4, Megatron Origin #4, IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #22, Prime). Considering Soundwave's continued steadfast loyalty, I'd reckon he likes hearing him talk/plan.

Soundwave is Megatron's confidant (War Within #2, Prime, IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #17, IDW 2019)

The both care for each other's continued functioning (Soundwave does so consistently in loyalist depictions, and for Megatron it depends on the continuity/writer but is often true of him too (though, Soundwave doesn't get injured often); [specifics cited later in this post])

Soundwave's loyalty even extends to when Megatron loses his marbles (WFC: Kingdom E03, Galvatron in Sunbow G1 S3E14 & Headmasters E02 & E04), but his loyalty does not extend to Megatron defecting from the Decepticons (IDW Dark Cybertron, EarthSpark) due to Soundwave's loyalty to the Decepticon Cause.

Dreamwave Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye #6 Soundwave's character bio written from Megatron's perspective expressing his uncertainty of whether he can risk lending his trust and friendship to Soundwave is one of my favorite things with them.

(*this mostly excludes where Soundwave's characterized as a self-serving opportunist and where Megatron treats him as just another subordinate)

My MegaSound Thoughts

(Preface: Inspiration taken from all over, but classic Decepticon Cause and they're both as evil as typical. I ship them in various canons but here I describe a broad overview of ways I interpret this pairing and what aspects I'm interested in. I tried to avoid citing Soundwave's self-serving opportunistic depictions for the most part, but he often has a lot of character I like in them xD.)

For me their ship is built upon their longstanding mutual trust, respect, and reliability; especially compounded with the fact many of their comrades' loyalty is prone to wavering from time to time (whereas Soundwave has continuously stuck by his side). I also like to focus on Soundwave's staunch loyalty to and belief in Megatron and the Cause he embodies — and, importantly, Megatron's recognition of this.

For Megatron I like to think about what valuing someone in such a way means to a tyrant whose sights are set on control, destruction, and personal power.

I think Soundwave's competence, strength, devotion, skills, and intelligence would all be appealing to Megatron. Soundwave, with said qualities, has made himself indispensable to the Decepticons, and therefore indispensable to Megatron himself.

Perhaps one reason Megatron is drawn to Soundwave would be for the steadfast security he provides (compared to the unreliability/treachery of others).

Though, with Megatron being surrounded by the infighting/treachery of Decepticons, I think it would be natural for him to sometimes be uncertain of whether his closeness with Soundwave is as safe/secure as it seems (inspired by Dreamwave More Than Meets The Eye #6's Soundwave bio written from Megatron's perspective) due to how much sensitive information and vulnerability Soundwave's been trusted with. But any such feared betrayal would not come to pass, because Soundwave sides with him, including in his times of need.

All I've written so far assumes a wishy-washy loyalty in Megatron's other followers; for where he has other loyalists, perhaps Soundwave is just one of his oldest followers (Sunbow G1 "War Dawn", Dreamwave G1 (2004) #10, IDW 2019, Prime S1E26) and his loyalty is ultimately tried and true.

Time and time again, Soundwave is shown to care about Megatron's continued functioning/well-being (Sunbow G1 "MTMTE, Part 3" [Soundwave warning Megatron of Starscream's attack], Transformers: The Movie, War Within #6, Prime, All Hail Megatron #13, Fall of Cybertron [saddened at Megatron's death & later rebuilds him], Retribution ["And if it turned out he couldn’t save Megatron, Soundwave knew what his duty demanded. / Vengeance on everybody involved."], Transformers vs. The Terminator #2 [Soundwave repairs Megatron's optic], WFC: Kingdom E03).

In cases where Soundwave has been injured/killed, this has often been true of Megatron too (Transformers (2009) #17 [this & AHM #13 were both written by Costa — making this mutual care of each other's continued functioning intentional, I presume], Prime S2E14, Headmasters E02 & E04 if including Galvatron, WFC: Kingdom E03 [where Dinobot downs Soundwave then Megatron comes swinging]).

For Soundwave I first want to detail the basis of his character as I think it's important to recognize his beliefs and personality. His personality and how much is shown ultimately depends on the continuity and writer; and varies depending on if the writer favors the Marvel UK G1 Soundwave (self-serving opportunist) or the Sunbow G1 Soundwave (loyalist) depiction.

Soundwave believes himself to be superior to others (to other lifeforms, to Autobots, and even to fellow Decepticons) and it's not just a cool line, but an actual sentiment/belief he holds (Transformers: The Movie, Spotlight: Soundwave, Revolutionaries #3, Skybound Transformers #7, Animated S1E10 Sound and Fury), and it is continuously embodied in his actions and loyalty to the Decepticon Cause (conquest & domination). Following this, Megatron's ideals of Decepticon superiority must appeal to Soundwave greatly — as a result, their vision of the future and values are quite similar.

Soundwave has (well, if the continuity depicts it) a negative reputation among other Decepticons, with others actually being aware of his monitoring and subsequent reporting to Megatron (Prime S1E13 [among other episodes], implied in Robots in Disguise (2012) #11... I think, Earth Wars: Sea Phantom: "[...] The walls have audio receptors, if you know what I mean." / Coelagon: "Yeah, Soundwave has the place wired for sound.", Sunbow G1 "Countdown to Extinction" & "The Golden Lagoon"). Instead of such a reputation being a negative for Soundwave, it is something he has intentionally fostered for indirect power and control over the other Decepticons; and by doing this he's made Megatron hold him in high esteem (Prime, Dreamwave More Than Meets the Eye #6 [Soundwave's Bio], All Hail Megatron #10) and positioned himself securely in the Decepticon's upper ranks.

In line with his beliefs of superiority, Soundwave personality-wise is quite confident and secure. This is also true of his standing with Megatron (for reasons described above).

Following Soundwave's colder depictions, perhaps one of the bots he finds himself the most "warm" to or emotionally responsive to is Megatron, even if he may not express this the same way most others might (but I'd think Megatron would understand it, due to his perceptiveness and having known him a long time).

With Soundwave generally not being much of a conversationalist, I'd think Megatron easily makes up for this with all his talking and monologuing (they are so [eloquent] yapper x listener to me). Given Soundwave's continued loyalty, I'd like to think he quite likes hearing Megatron's voice and his ideas/plans; for Megatron I'd like to think he enjoys an intelligent and receptive audience and finds it in Soundwave (who gets to hear his words/plans unfiltered from the manipulative rhetoric he gives others), and likes Soundwave's encouragement and amoral pragmatism. As Megatron's confidant, Soundwave gets to hear him at his most honest (Dreamwave War Within #2, IDW Primacy #4, Prime).

I like to think about how them both being evil impacts what activities they find enjoyable. Moments in various canons that come to mind: All Hail Megatron #1 (where Megatron's like "Soundwave, if you will?" then >:D when Soundwave diverts the missiles), Prime S2E22 ("You should have seen Optimus Prime's face when his precious Star Saber shattered like glass [...]"), and Retribution Ch. 9 (where Soundwave really wants to show Megatron a playback of him and Ravage interrogating/torturing Decepticon traitor Axer for information that Megatron wanted). Could sharing the joy of violence be an evil love language xD?

For angst I think there's a lot of potential based in EarthSpark or Headmasters (the same is true of IDW 2005, though I won't be expanding on it here).

For EarthSpark there's S1E08 0:24 & 2:30 plus a sentence from the guidebook: "Soundwave believes that anyone who defects from the Decepticons is a traitor, and he considers Megatron the worst traitor of all!" Based on their interactions and dialogue (S1E08 Decoy "Don't make this personal, Soundwave." "It already is."), it's apparent that they used to be close before Megatron switched sides; and Soundwave's feelings impact Megatron a lot! Soundwave's recording calling out his hypocrisy invokes such a rage in him; and Soundwave calling him a traitor disheartens him, making him lower his cannon (and he would've been blasted had Optimus not intervened)!

For Headmasters Soundwave/Soundblaster would witness how much Galvatron differs from Megatron — how insane he's become, but also how distant he's become from him. (The Headmasters E04 & E10)

In general, I think there could be angst found in Megatron's favorite trope: getting put out of commission for a duration of time. Or, that trope could be bestowed upon Soundwave for a change xD (like in Transformers (2009) #17). Exploring the consequences of Megatron's hubris or lust for power could be fun too.

Favorite Moments in Various Canons

Dreamwave More Than Meets The Eye #6 Soundwave's bio:

[From the Datatracks of Megatron, Decepticon Leader] What is more valuable to a commander, loyalty or reliability? Loyalty is a luxury, but reliability is a necessity for effective military operations. Soundwave exemplifies the latter while projecting as much as the former as realistically possible. He is an indispensable lieutenant and a fierce warrior, with seemingly unshakeable loyalty to me and our cause. When I enter into combat with Soundwave beside me, I am assured that he will perform his role unerringly. I am, however, well aware of his blackmailing of other Decepticons and the fearsome retribution he takes on any who attempt cross him, safe in the knowledge that he is virtually untouchable in his current position. His flaunting of his role have caused many to turn against him, which has only strengthened his need for my favor and implicit protection. Thus far, Soundwave has been utterly faithful to my commands and risked his own life on my behalf several times. But is he only biding his time until his own power base is secure enough? Many great commanders have been undone by trust and friendship in the past… can I afford to extend these to even my most capable solider?

Dreamwave War Within #6 & Generation 1 (2004) #10 (Also, throughout Dreamwave's run Soundwave is actually visibly by Megatron's side, which I think is a pretty neat detail)

All Hail Megatron #13 & Transformers (2007) #17

I enjoyed their dynamic in IDW 2019 because of how visibly instrumental Soundwave is to the Decepticon's rise, and his subsequent importance to Megatron. (#5) (#16) (#26)

Soundwave's sheer nonchalance at getting yelled at/scolded by Megatron who was breaking things in rage (#11) was so funny to me... Soundwave knows he's too important.

In Fall of Cybertron (37:15) Soundwave reaches out sadly to Megatron's hand sticking out from beneath rubble (thanks to Megatron's hubris getting himself scrapped)

In WFC: Kingdom E03 Soundwave is concerned about Megatron and tries to caution/advise him, but it goes unheeded.

The Transformers (2003) PS2 Japan: nearly every time Soundwave and Megatron talk... ["Lord Megatron, I'm glad you're unharmed!], ["This is how a subordinate should behave!"], ["No, don't apologize. You are not to blame"], ["..."], ["high price"], [deferring to Soundwave's judgement]

I haven't actually watched Robots in Disguise (2015), but its portrayal of Soundwave's devoutness is pretty cool... specifically in S3E21 Collateral Damage what he says at the timestamp 5:49:

Soundwave: "[...] when [the transgalactic beacon generator is] activated at the highest point in the city it would transmit a signal strong enough to summon Megatron back to Earth." Sideswipe: "[...] but that much radiation won't just call Megatron it'll—" Soundwave: "—devastate the city, then spread to eradicate all life on Earth. Incidental collateral damage."

I don't know how to describe how much I love the coldness/callousness in his inconsideration for an entire planet, all for the sole purpose of getting Megatron back.

(Lack of) Popularity

I've thought about the reasons for the ship's lack of popularity/prevalence. The one that jumps out the most to me is that there's a lack of in-depth exploration into their relationship in canon despite their constant proximity and importance to each other — as in, plots hardly ever test/strain/strengthen their relationship (to elaborate, there's rarely tension between them, and when there is it's minor and carries no meaningful weight).

Well, IDW 2005 did do some things with their relationship, but it didn't feel as in-depth as other relationships because their backstory together (which occurred in phase 1 with Soundwave's self-serving opportunistic characterization) was recontextualized/retconned for phase 2's Decepticon Cause of equality origin and was there to ultimately serve their subsequent (and separate) becoming betterish arcs relevant to that origin, and then they never got a proper reconciliation together; post-Dark Cybertron Soundwave continued to keep Megatron in mind, whereas Megatron (iirc) doesn't ever think about him in any noteworthy way. (Elaboration/analysis of this will be in whenever I make that analysis post, although trying to analyze IDW 2005 is kind of a headache for me.)

Rarely does Megatron communicate how he feels about Soundwave to him beyond his usefulness/function (e.g. Megatron praising Soundwave in Prime and Sunbow G1). There's IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #22 ("Ours, Soundwave. The world shall be ours." is a cool line that expresses Megatron wanting to conquer Cybertron with Soundwave, but this scene is a retcon & flashback — it only serves phase 2 Soundwave's arc in the present).

That's not to say Megatron never expresses any thoughts/feelings about Soundwave, of course (various episodes of Prime, Headmasters E02 ["Soundwave! NGHAAAHHHHH" — Galvatron after witnessing him explode], probably some moments from The Transformers (2003) PS2 Japan).

The most explicit of Megatron recognizing Soundwave's importance to him I can think of off of the top of my head is Primacy #2.

Obviously with this post, I think a lot about their relationship can be inferred from the way they interact and talk regardless of how much or little Megatron directly expresses to him. (With this post being for the purpose of shipping, all I mention here is through a shipping potential lens xD).

Perhaps another reason for this ship's lack of popularity, related to the first, is maybe Soundwave is broadly thought of as just a loyalist without knowledge of his other qualities and so people don't think it's interesting? (I could say more on this, but I'll end this post here.)

[laurrelise]

prove me wrong: tua s4 was a giant aidan gallagher thirst trap written and created by yours truly steve blackman

[gascreates]

seeby s1 dino gaang :)

[a-silly-stained-glass-anomaly]

[friendly-alien-fucker]

Being with an ooman brought forth a good number of oddities, most of which they adored.

You were different from them, in terms of looks, yes, but also in terms of culture. And as they whiped away the liquid streaming from your eyes they realized once again how different you were in terms of morals as well.

"I'm a monster!" you sobbed, your voice frantic and shaky, and they took you into their arms on instinct at the sound.

"You're overreacting." They attempted to console you, which didn't quite work as intended they came to realize as you slapped their chest.

"I killed it! The poor little fella... they already have such a short lifespan..."

Seeing you in so much pain over the death of a being that didn't even have a conscience, they wondered how you managed to think of them as anything other than a monster. With their walls of proudly displayed trophies.

Some of them had only half your life expectancy, some lived longer than them. Some even had family.

"Fella?" they instead focused on consoling you through your strange breakdown "what makes you so sure it was male?"

You gasped, your eyes suddenly wide in horror "I didnt even think of that! What if it was female? What if it was expecting? What if I just killed an entire bloodline??!"

Though they were apparently not very good at it.

Unsure on what to do or say, they simply continued to hold you, the purring that they've subconsciously started to do getting louder.

"If it brings you any comfort", they began quietly as they heard your sobbing come to a slow stop "its unlikely it felt any pain, being the size that it was."

"It does," you mumbled, only parting from them shortly to whipe at your face "thank you."

They simply nodded.

How your species managed to become your planets apex predators remained a mystery to them.

[sereniv]

Can someone who is NOT a zionist tell me why Jewish people have so much conspiracy and hate? when did it start and why? how and why did it spread?

Preferably someone who is jewish or really knows what theyre talking about answer

[slasherflicks999]

erm what is slashers relationship with the other creepypastas :3c

before we begin im so sorry this took me legitimately SOOOO disgustingly long to answer holy SHART 💔💔💔 i needed to solidify some of his relationships ngl and i didn’t wanna give a half baked answer :,33 but now that it’s finally hereee…..

slasher room reveal GASP yes he’s sitting at his little computer answering this for u personally :3 i wanted to make it more fun hehe plus background practice…… thank u the sims 4…,,.,,

but anyway THE LITTLE CHIBI THINGS OF THEM WERE SO FUN TO DRAW and also nina with glasses canon i don’t make the rules sorry she’s just too cute with them :,,o

i haven’t been active much at all lately unfortunately BUTTTT more slasher content is soon to come..,.😈😈 TRUSTTTT i shan’t abandon thee tumblr my beloved :333🫶🏻

[aiscapades]

if the creators of these games you love so much can write and draw their own shit, SO CAN YOU.

get involved with others in your community and make shit together. stop with gen ai. there is no excuse.

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A redraw of the official icons of the ten named slugcats from Rain World, arranged in two rows: Survivor, Monk, Hunter, Nightcat, and Gourmand in the first, Artificer, Rivulet, Spearmaster, Saint and Enot/Inv in the second. Each is drawn in roughly the same pose as in the original art and fitted with speculative interpretations of their biology, and the second image is a “dead” version of this. For example, all ten have slug-like rhinophores in place of ears, cuttlefish-like colorful eyes with strangely-shaped pupils, cephalopod-like beak "teeth", expressive barbels or oral tentacles at the corners of mouths, spiny radulas, and the frilly mantle fringes of sea slugs, though otherwise their faces are squishy, simple and mammalian-shaped.

Cream-colored Survivor and yellow Monk both share triangular, bicolored spots matching their eyes (which are tan and brown, and two shades of blue, respectively), small, bumpy fringes, and relatively neutral looks on their faces. Defensive-looking Hunter is mostly a dull orange-pink, though their blobby fringe is a more violent red and their back is purple and marred with lumps. Nightcat is navy blue and flecked with dots of yellow and teal, their rolled rhinophores are a lighter blue, and their shading fractures into stars in some places. Gourmand is almost uniformly tan, their wide, very ruffly white mantle fringe bordered by a spray of white spots, and their beak sticks out from either corner of their smile. Primarily red Artificer, snarling, has yellow markings of multiple sorts, a prominent yellow dewlap and their characteristic dark scar taking out a chunk of its face. Rivulet is a darker blue than usual, with long barbels, red gills and rings, countershading, and a cheerful expression, sticking out their radula. Spearmaster is purple with orange accents, eyes and spots, a large fringe and spines down their back. Saint’s green caryophyllidia are marked by small, yellow diamonds, and their long, thin radula extends far below them. Enot is decorated with mottled red stripes, blue patches, yellow stars, and an uneven and almost cartoonish imitation of blush, though generally the same deep blue as Nightcat, a passive or almost slightly smug look on their face and their rolled rhinophores out to either side.

In the second image, nine of the slugcats’ eyes are crossed out, indicating that these are death icons. They look fairly the same, with mostly expression differences. Survivor is caught in the beginning of a threat display, a karma flower sprouts from Monk’s side, Hunter is burdened with overgrowing, purple and blue rot, Nightcat’s rhinophores are pinned back, and Gourmand looks mildly disheartened. For the final row, Artificer bites its radula between small plumes of smoke, Rivulet drops their expression, Spearmaster looks very startled, Saint looks almost entirely the same besides half-open eyes and their markings greater in number, and Enot grins confusedly. End ID]

If you'll excuse the unusually lengthy ID: the arena meme introduced by @pansear-doodles at long last after a nearly year-long wip status (or, rather, finished a month ago today to honor my own first time playing it!)

Design notes and shout-outs under cut! :]

The following people are some of those who’ve inspired my designs most since I started this eight months ago (or just inspired me to get a little weirder with slugcat biology), among many others for sure, and I thank them for it–but this is simply to bring attention to artists I find cool, and in no way an obligation to interact or anything :]

> @saturncoyote , @carpsoup , @charseraph , @gallusgalluss , @bitsbug , @dopscratch , and @0hmanit (and a special mention to dddeerbo and hunterlonglegs, who’ve since deactivated)!

Survivor: Surprisingly the hardest to pin down the colors for, since nothing with its sibling's palette seemed to match up right (I did have to add in a little blue somewhere for Monk, the beginning of making it clear how much I’m simply going based off of vibes for the colors of scug innards). I consider them, Monk and Gourmand to be part of the same gene pool of slugcats, and even possibly the same colony even if the latter isn't really related, so took a bit of Gourmand's coloring and fit them in with their inspiration: Goniobranchus verrieri. They serve as a bit of an introduction to my ideas of scug traits (i find it really fun how many people have thought to add so many silly sluglike fixtures of biology completely independent of me, buuut here I’m mostly talking about species variation), and like in-game they’re pretty average! They, Monk and Hunter have a couple scars sourced from a piece of Joar's concept art that I'm failing to find, those across the bridge of the nose, under the eyes, and across the rhinophores, respectively, and my Survivor interpretation features many on the back of the neck, as a result of survived lizard bites.

Monk: Their coloring is primarily based off the fact that I associate them with blue fruits, honestly, a bit because I was compelled to establish a familiarity with Rivulet, and lastly inspired by the spots of Goniobranchus kuniei (and geminus, less important to me as one of my characters is a kuniei instead, but more fitting). Between the yellow + blue and the circular marking in the center of their face, they’re meant to bear a little resemblance to an iterator that shares similarities with the characterization I’ve given them, and similar coding of her sibling can be seen on Survivor’s markings around the eyes. As both a “default” slugcat and one whose campaign I haven’t played, though, I can’t say I have much more to point out about em.

Hunter: The whole rot thing made for a really fun time drawing them, and while the color change on their back is a result of this, it’s also an excuse to relate them to Babakina festiva, arguably my favorite sea slug (mostly for sentimental purposes). And to Spearmaster, a fellow messenger slugcat, and it serves as a gradient between Hunter’s pink and the “traditional” color of Rot seen in the DLLs. Aside from their affliction, they’d actually be the plainest in terms of design, as they don’t have any patterns or quirks of body type, just the red + purple and strange lumps + possible malnutrition. I can’t remember if NSH had created them in particular or just...caught + released or something, but it probably wouldn’t be strange for a lab-grown slugcat to be simple like that.

Gourmand: Like the two above, they’re rather plain in terms of coloring and adaptation, and like the two above, I find that fun. I decided it would be nice to avert the “all slugcats being of the same body type, and Gourmand’s out of place as the exception” thing by just...adding more fat to all of them, really. I did want to emphasize their sheer bulk even so, both fat and muscular (not like I couldn’t have still gone further with it, of course, but slugcat anatomy can be a little obfuscating sometimes, and they were intended to look rather plush considering personal size headcanons and therefore the lack of proper gravity), and the thick and flounced mantle looked like a good addition, as per their sea slug Glossodoris hikuerensis. Unlike Survivor and Monk, I didn’t attempt to hold their resemblance to any particular other character (which means a little less to balance out the “default gene pool” thing), so those are all the design notes I have for em.

Artificer: The second slugcat I’ve ever played, or finished the campaign of, my favorite for at least a long time, and the first thing I did was give them yellow accents, the shape of which have troubled me slightly (not quite like the spots or stripes of the others). They’re both a little more appealing and more explosive-looking to me, and considering how early on I played Arti, actually present in some of my older art. It does give them a little resemblance to Saint (completely intentional, two slugcats with strange relations to karma), as well as the fact that its radula is green for familiarity with one of its children (at some point it was going to have all-green markings, even!). I’m generous with their scars, partly because it was fun to overemphasize the one on their face and partly because it does seem like a reckless slugcat, on top of the dangers of its explosive abilities–I’ll probably just keep adding more forever. Mostly-red sea slugs aren’t too common, but Hexabranchus sanguineus works for sure. The ridged, yellow dewlap can expand for combustion purposes, or something along those lines. Arti’s where I began experimenting with a lot of the mildly-offkilter features seen in my interpretation of slugcats, as they’ve once again been a favorite from the start.

Rivulet: I've obviously given other slugcats spots, deeply enjoy the bubbly-soda markings of other peoples' slugcats, and thought seal riv would be cute. Despite not too closely resembling it, they've been government-assigned Hypselodoris bennetti, for color reasons and for a couple sentimental ones. Originally, the colors of every scug were meant to match up with the custom colors I gave them at the beginning of their campaigns, (though Arti, Gourm and Spearmy are the only three who actually apply here, since I've only played through half the slugcats: I gave arti the yellow as mentioned above, gourm brown eyes and spearmy light pink spears, furthered by the outskirts pearl accompanying me and that palette all the way to moon. Tolerance training for eternity in hell cause I already knew about the maroon pearl quest). I initially gave them the colors of the bi flag for fun... but with the limited palette of this image, I was left without pink for a while and decided to see how they'd look in red. I then realized how they now wonderfully matched Moon, and besides, red's a sort of camouflage in deep water! As a side-note, the difference between their eyes and those of others always bothered me a little for anatomical purposes, and the cephalopod eyes were probably influenced by this!

Spearmaster: Inspired as much as possible by @notyourfunnyman ’s wonderful spearmy: designed in a way that helps it fit in with scavengers, at least between the long sensory tentacles, big ruff, back spines and slightly thin/distended anatomy, a form of defensive mimicry. I always had annulate rhinophores in mind, for a little diversity sure, but mostly because the shape reminds me of radio antennae and communication towers (seems fitting for the comms array and being a messenger slugcat)! I started searching for a real-life slug to give them just by looking up their rhinophore shape...and was met immediately and coincidentally with annulate-topped nudibranchs that fit them more perfectly than I could've imagined: Flabellina and surrounding clades, I think Paraflabellina ischitana works very nicely. The orange was completely unplanned, but there wasn’t a place for light pink among the other slugcats’ palettes, and importantly it likens them to both Hunter and Seven Red Suns a little more.

Saint: I am very much a non-furred slugcat enjoyer, with respect to those who aren’t, so figuring out the only visibly furred slugcat was an interesting challenge. I’ve decided that they likely have other, milder adaptations for help in the cold, mainly just more efficient fat storage, and what looks vaguely like fur is instead a bunch of tubercles (called caryophillia, for the second reminder out of three). Their inspiration doesn’t have these, however, Miamira sinuata’s numerous yellow and blue spots (not to mention...whatever’s going on with that shape) and general effect of being the only really green nudibranch I could find were probably perfect for a strange green echo. Not pictured, but their beak-teeth are tiny and flat to make a surface for grinding soft food against with the lack of a functioning radula, which is tipped with a specialized spiny “grapple-hook” for better traction/grip (not to mention the numerous little teeth running down the whole thing).

(Best part of hiding this under a readmore means edits will be seen by all reblogs, I'm mostly sure, because I completely forgot to mention! The spots on their forehead are simple eyes. Their camera eyes appear closed in-game, I like to believe their complex eyesight is rather poor anyways or otherwise reason that they aren't seeing out of those, and while this was far from her REASON for attunement with the world, it does help compensate for mainly viewing it through a canvas of simple light and dark. This, and the fact that their swapped-out "fur" is not only to commit to a lack of hairs but contributes to sensory input!)

Nightcat/Enot: I guess you could say I found the “these two are technically the same person” compelling. (E.g. similar colors, both very strange and enigmatic, and Enot/Inv/Sofanthiel’s remark during the dating sim about getting removed from Arena Mode.) I doubt they’re the only two slugcats in their body, considering humans with DID tend to have more than a few (and I find it very funny that a slugcat bearing resemblance to Nightcat appears in Gourmand’s ending. They’re allowed in the colony and Enot isn’t </3), and I have to credit @faelingdraws ’s art for being what convinced me on it! Their design inspirations come down to trying to balance a few different ideas: making the patterns and palettes of both look oddly similar (special mention to the stars, since those are fun to draw), basing them off of Felimare sechurana and juliae respectively, using blocks of color with the same placement as in Enot’s official art, and specifically making Enot look...biologically reasonable and imperfect, whilst also clearly trying to imitate human displays of emotion (what with...the eyes and blush on that one piece of official art).

Lastly, here’s just a lineup with notes on body shape and size. Most of the nicknames (existing to give a little more space, that’s all) are obvious, and while I can’t remember why I shortened Nightcat to Nox, it is in honor of my friend by the same nickname :]

[stuffgoestothesoupstore]

stupid little comic

and yes those are numberblocks, yes thats THE seven times table, and YES hes a pirate of some sort

and heres my bh gijinka concept!!

sigh... no more artblock!!! i wanna draw more of these two but im literally so hungry(/gen i didnt eat that much today HAUVHHADH) so yed

[bvckbiter]

helllooo kai :3 for the AMA, um, have you read luke's diary? what are your general thoughts abt it and how did it affect your perception of luke? 👀

of course i've read the diary of luke castellan 😣😣😣 thats my WIFE!

at the time that i read it, luke explicitly calling himself the "dad" of the broken trio surprised me a LOT—not because i hadn't thought of that characterization aspect. moreso because i was surprised that rick made him say it outright, especially considering that diary of luke castellan is in the same book as staff of hermes, which then has percy "confirm" that luke had feelings for annabeth when he died... 😭 tbh i've been wondering since forever if dlc was a snippet of maybe a thought experiment rick wrote during the pjato days which he just rehashed for publication in the demigod diaries, which would explain this wild parkour... evidence of rick's editor/s once more not doing what they should be doing

so yeah. i love dlc, but on the front of luke's character, it didn't? really tell me anything new about him that i didn't already know, maybe except how explicitly parentified he was even in his own head

the more novel aspect of dlc to me tbh was apollo's impact on the story, manifested through halcyon's character. imo, apollo in that short story is maybe the closest a god in the rrverse comes to being an echo of how they are in the mythos, and i wish we got to see more of that characterization! hal green is luke's first brush with the tragic greek hero-isms that eventually become his fate, too, and it does confirm that luke's wrath doesn't 100% stem from his and may's experiences (the people who claim that luke did it all because of his daddy issues can go SUCK IT. it's almost as if people can draw on multiple experience from their own lives as well as others' when making decisions, and driving motivations aren't always clear-cut).

and, if i may be so bold, hal green is absolutely proof that the titan war playing out the way it did is thanks to the collective efforts of the olympians. not that the fandom doesn't know that—but what i mean is: other than the vaguely sweeping child neglect, specific gods committed specific actions that, when the effects of all those were combined, perfectly set up the stage for kronos being able to manipulate luke and a lot of other demigod children. hermes is self-explanatory. zeus and hades, by trying to kill each other's families, get thalia murked in the process, which tbh is the festering wound that drives so much of luke's grief. now add apollo in... that's a specific incident of luke seeing how the gods can be extremely cruel to their own children. the gods themselves helped fulfill the prophecy that almost destroyed them. (and if you take son of magic as gospel canon, zeus and hera are contributing factors to why demigods are hunted by monsters.) are you picking up what im laying down

unfortunately, rick tries to pretend that luke and the gods' in-universe ethical conundrum doesnt exist anymore, because we get no mention of halcyon at all in toa (which we can't even chalk up to rick's inconsistency; we know he's perfectly capable of going back to his short stories and picking out assets that he can use for later stories eg iapetus/bob). but then again im not surprised because given the quality of his later works, i dont think rick could handle writing anything about hal properly LMAO

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard @tizniz 💖

im still on vacation, but wrote a little bit of a new wip in a notebook lmao and just wanted to share a lil bit haha

this has been on my ideas list forever, but basically, Tommy calls Buck "buck" and Buck gets upset about it - that's the fic lol its handwritten in a notebook and typing it out on my phone rn so it's like a very rough first draft, im gonna make it better when I type it out on my laptop haha

____

As Tommy talks, he's constantly stealing glances at Buck, and this time when he does, he frowns, instantly noticing that something's wrong.

He finishes the story rather quickly, and as everyone moves on to other topics, he says something about going to get more drinks, and grabs Buck's hand to bring him with. As soon as they're a safe distance away from their friends, Tommy crowds Buck against a wall, these blue, concerned eyes boring into his soul.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks, and Buck feels silly. It's such a stupid thing to get upset about and make his boyfriend worry for no reason.

"Nothing," Buck shakes his head. "It's stupid."

"Well, it's still clearly something. And you know you can tell me anything that's bothering you. Even if you think it's stupid." He's looking at Buck with that fondness that always melts Buck's heart a little.

"It's just..." Buck takes a deep breath, bracing himself for saying the silliest thing to get upset about. "You called me Buck." He admits, averting his gaze, and trying to ignore how whiny his voice sounds.

___

no pressure tags (lmk if you wanna be added or removed): @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @ladydorian05 @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @bucks-daddy-issues @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @diazheartsbuckley @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @underwaterninja13 @your-catfish-friend @kinard-buckley @evansboyfriend @hoodie-buck @weewootruck @41noodlesoups @kirkaut @jewishbuckley @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @lonelychicago @reformedplayerbibuck @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @bucked-it-up @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @drcloyd

[forwhump]

Touch

a/n; touch starved human weapon who’s never known kindness gets a hug :’) & a bunch of other times he’s touched, mostly in a horrible fashion

for the anon that wanted silas to get a hug & the anon that wanted more of the unit !! two bingo squares crossover episode best of both worlds babeyyyy

tw/cw: grievous bodily harm, mutilation, guns, traumatic brain injuries, implied rape/noncon, references to graphic violence, medical torture

living weapon whumpee

The first touch Silas ever knows is that of the cold, gloved hands reaching into the opened cavity of his chest.

Their touch is not gentle. Their touch introduces Silas to pain. It’s a pain that he will very quickly become familiar with.

They open him from throat to groin. They peel skin away from meat, and meat away from muscle. They pry apart his ribcage and crush his ribs into splinters of bone. They pull out chunks of organ tissue and they hold him down, against the cold steel of the operating table, as they take the colder steel of a surgical scalpel of his hairline.

Silas’ very first memory is waking up to those cold, gloved hands fishing his small intestine from his opened gut.

The very first touch Silas ever knows is that of those hands.

Silas doesn’t like to be touched.

He learns this very quickly.

It’s an empty cell, carved from stone, not quite tall enough for Silas to stand in but that doesn’t matter because Silas can’t stand. He’s shackled to the floor by the iron closed around his throat, and he’s left there for days in the dark.

He’s alone. He’s alone a lot in the beginning.

The first person that he ever sees, outside of that operating room, is a soldier. Silas doesn’t recognize him but he spits, “I’ve been waiting a long time for this, you ugly fuck,” and swings his fist into Silas’ face with as much force as a human being can manage.

His name is Point, Silas learns later, and his touch breaks his right eye socket into splinters of skull.

They manage to save his eye. Much later, however, Point puts three bullets in it, and Silas loses his right eye for good.

Silas learns very quickly that touch is something vile. It’s something to be shied away from, something that hurts. Touch is inhumane.

When Silas is touched, it hurts him.

When Silas touches, he hurts.

They chain his hands in front of him, and they shackle him at the ankles. He has to wear a bite bar because they don’t trust his teeth.

They’re right not to.

Because they remove the bite bar, the chains, the shackles, and there’s carnage.

When Silas touches, he hurts. When Silas touches, there’s carnage.

Silas usually does his field tests alone, but not always. They are a team, technically, him and the unit, and the district needs to be sure they work well together, or some shit equivalent.

Silas had spent a lot of time making a careful point not to let the unit see him the way the soldiers see him, as the horrible thing he really is, and introducing them into the field tests had made him edgy, and it had made him feel kind of sick.

It turned out to be a waste of emotion.

Even now, the soldier’s gun aimed into Hal’s face, Silas makes quick work of pulling his throat out through the back of his neck. He uses his teeth, and still, as Hal stands, he wipes blood from his eyes with his sleeve and looks up at Silas with a grin that��s nothing but relieved.

“Good looking out, man,” he says, and holds his fist out to Silas. Silas doesn’t know what to do with that, so he doesn’t do anything. Hal kinda gestures with his fist and says, “don’t leave me hanging, big guy. Bump me.”

Silas raises his eyebrows and Hal reacts like he hit him.

“You’ve never had a fist bump?” And he says it like it’s something heinous, like it’s even the most heinous thing Silas has done in the last three minutes. “Oh, man,” he says, but his grin is bordering on obnoxious. “I’m so glad I get to take your fist bump-ginity.”

“No,” Silas deadpans, because he doesn’t know what that is and he also doesn’t want to.

But Hal says, “yeah. Come on,” which isn’t all that convincing on its own, but he adds, “Wren will think you’re really cool if he finds out you do fist bumps,” and Silas squints. Hal grins again, wide and innocent, and holds his fist back out to Silas. “It’s easy. Just bump my fist with your fist. Fist bump.”

“Why?” Silas says.

“I don’t know,” Hal says. “Who cares? Just do it.”

Silas looks at Hal’s hand for a long time and decides the pros — Wren might be impressed he’s learned something — outweigh the cons — he just doesn’t want to. He relents and knocks his fist against Hal’s.

Hal, who throws both his arms up and his head back as he cheers.

June, after she left the service, was a hairdresser for a while.

Silas knows this, because she tells him, “after I left the service, I was a hairdresser for a while.”

Silas says, “okay.”

“So you can trust me,” she adds.

“No,” he says.

June tips her head back, dramatic, as she groans. She’s been wielding the hairbrush like a weapon. “Silas. Come on, dude. Stop being a bitch about it. Let me brush your hair.”

“No,” he repeats.

“Silas,” she repeats.

“No,” he says.

“Wren’ll like it,” she tries, and Silas narrows his eyes. She grins, and she has a very predatory grin. “You wanna look good for Wren, don’t you, big guy?”

He’s starting to suspect these people might be using Wren to manipulate him, and it’s unfortunate that it’s working. Silas sits on the floor, and June, with the added boost of the back of the couch, pulls a brush through his hair like she’s trying to rip all of it out.

He complains the whole time, mostly for the sake of complaining. “Ow,” he says again, and June groans at him.

“You’re too big to be this much of a pussy.”

“You’re hurting me,” he says. She isn’t.

“I don’t care,” June replies. “Stop moving.”

“I’m not moving,” he says.

“You’re flinching,” she says.

“You’re hurting me,” he reminds her.

“You should’ve started brushing your hair six months ago,” she bites back.

“How was I supposed to know?” Silas asks, and he’s won, because she quiets behind him, and her hands tug a little less violently at his hair.

“Sorry,” she says finally, and Silas tries not to smile but it tugs on his mouth at one side. He doesn’t think she’s looking at him, so he doesn’t try all that hard to hide it and so it makes him jump when he turns and she’s leaning over his shoulder to look him in the face. “Hey,” she accuses. “That’s not funny. I thought I hurt your feelings.”

He cracks a smile, despite his best attempts. “You couldn’t hurt my feelings.”

June grins widely, raising her eyebrows. “I’d love to try.”

Silas snorts, and she laughs as she pulls back over his shoulder to tug the brush through his hair again. She ties it up for him; a half knot, because, “I thought it would suit you. I was right.”

He tracks Wren down, just in case.

He has a pencil tucked behind his ear and Silas is strangely entranced by it. “Silas,” he says, and he says it with a smile. “You look so handsome.”

Silas doesn’t know what it means, but he’s flattered, anyway.

He’s on his back on the concrete, looking down the barrel of a gun.

It’s shaking. Point’s hand is trembling. “You stupid, disobedient fuck,” he spits, and Silas barely sees the bottom of his boot closing in on him before it’s cracking his cheekbone. “Bad. Dog.”

Both of Silas’ arms had been nearly amputated at different points, but he can still lift his left hand. Just barely, and it trembles with blood loss and severed tendons, but he manages to lift it from the wet concrete and fold almost all of his fingers down, save for the middle.

Point roars in frustration.

Silas knows the cold kiss of gunmetal, for only a second, and then an eruption of heat that’s white hot and electricity charged and Point empties his gun into Silas’ face.

Silas is reintroduced to the touch of surgeons, but this is nothing new.

He loses his eye.

They take Wren.

Silas couldn’t give less of a fuck about his eye. He’s got another one, he’ll be fine. What’s another disfiguring injury? But he gets back to the unit, and Robin finds him in Wren’s absence.

They’d taken Wren. Robin doesn’t know where.

His touch is a firm handshake that makes Silas’ skin crawl. But he accepts it, even if he didn’t need Robin to ask. Even if he would’ve raised hell, anyway.

He’d been really careful around Wren. He’d been so careful.

Wren’s different. He isn’t like any of the rest of them. He’s gentle in a way Silas thinks super soldiers just aren’t capable of. His skin is still soft. He’s still so human, and he looks at Silas, and he sees something in him that’s human, too.

But he’s wrong. Silas has known for a long time that he’s wrong, and whatever it is that Wren thinks he sees in him, it isn’t human.

He’d wanted so badly for it to be true, though. He’d wanted to believe Wren. He wanted there to be something human in him because he never wanted Wren to stop looking at him like that. He’d done his best not to let Wren see anything less, to not let him see him as any less human than a couple of fatal injuries.

He’d never let him see anything else. He’d been so careful.

But then he finds Wren, and he finds him with a group of soldiers.

Their touch is not kind.

He’s shackled to a bunk by an ankle to the bedpost, and Silas doesn’t even know what they’re doing to him but he knows it’s vile. The sounds make his skin crawl. Wren is begging for it to stop.

He’s crying, and it’s crying like nothing else Silas has ever heard. Wailing. He isn’t in complete control of himself after that.

The soldiers all react to him with flailing, frantic cowardice, shouting and clambering for guns, for knives, for weapons, and it’s embarrassing. Silas is embarrassed for them. Cowards, all of them — loud, cruel cowards. All so scared of Silas, every one of them, and they fuckin’ created him. What a fuckin’ joke.

He lets them scramble, looking at Wren through the blur of them. His mouth is swollen, face shiny with tears, and when he sobs, he sobs, “Silas.”

“Don’t look,” Silas says.

He doesn’t recognize any of the soldiers because their faces all blur.

Every one of them dies in that bunk, and they do not die gently. They die screaming and they die in pain.

Partway through suffocating a soldier with another’s small intestine, Silas lifts his head, and Wren is still there.

He reaches out and splinters the bedpost with one hand. He can’t look at Wren for too long — he doesn’t really wanna see the look on his face. “Run,” he says, and peels the jaw off a nearing soldier with one hand, without even looking at him.

Wren runs.

Silas is punished greatly for his disobedience.

Still, he isn’t looking forward to being back in the unit. The long walk back has his heart beating higher in his chest than he thinks it should. He only ever wants to be in the unit because he wants to be where Wren is — if Wren doesn’t want him there anymore, Silas will have to find a way to stay away, whatever he has to do.

He gets back to the unit and he’s expecting Wren to look at him in disgust if he looks at him at all. He isn’t expecting the way Wren pushes himself into Silas’ chest, arms so tight around his waist that Silas is surprised by the strength of him.

It doesn’t hurt, though, a very pleasant sort of vice, warm and Wren. “What are you doing?” He asks softly.

“A hug,” Wren says, face pressed into the spot just beneath Silas’ sternum and the pressure of him is nice.

“Why?” Silas asks, and Wren makes a sound that Silas can’t decipher as laughter or crying. It might be both.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” he whispers into Silas’ crewneck.

It’s probably the stupidest thing Silas has ever heard him say. “I’d do anything for you,” he says, flat.

And it’s true. There isn’t anything in the world Silas wouldn’t do for him. Wren doesn’t even need to ask. Clinging a little tighter to Silas’ sweatshirt, he sobs.

Silas cradles the back of his head with one hand and lets himself be hugged.

The concrete of the common room floor is a cool touch against his cheek.

It’s the last thing Silas knows before his skull is crushed.

When Silas gets back to the unit, he has tremors in his hands and he doesn’t remember how to read.

When Silas gets back to the unit, it’s been months. He doesn’t know how many.

When Silas gets back to the unit, he’s surprised to immediately find his arms full of Hal.

“What?” Silas says, and then June is jumping onto his back, clinging to his neck, and Wren is at his side, small hands finding Silas’ skin beneath his sweatshirt and his touch is warm, impossibly soft. Silas cradles the back of his head with one hand. “What are you doing?”

Hal laughs from somewhere around his armpit as June laughs loudly into his shoulder. “We missed you, big guy!” She crows.

“We missed you!” Hal cries.

Wren laughs into his side and it’s a little wet. “We were so worried about you.”

Robin is lingering nearby and Silas points at him with his other hand. “Don’t come anywhere fuckin’ near me.”

His face doesn’t change, militant as he is, but his gaze flickers to Wren and back before he says, in the low, rumbling version of Wren’s accent, “welcome back.”

Silas lifts his chin, sort of a nod. He looks back down, at his shaky armfuls of the rest of them, and he can’t help the smile that tugs at his mouth on one side.

They laugh and they cling to him and the touch of the pressure and the weight of them hurts, it makes his recently reconstructed bones groan in protest, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t but he’d also be full of shit if he said it bothered him at all.

Silas would consider himself pretty well versed in pain; this has to be his favourite.