#i have a lot of other context to back this up also so it doesnt come out of nowhere but its primarily based on xv2
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i actually have it written down that kazaa manages to sway ginyu’s loyalty to frieza because they hate that he’s so loyal to someone who thinks that they(multiple case they, referring to p much everyone here) would be better off dead if they weren’t useful
#this is messily worded but yeah#i enjoy messing with the status quo and i think it would be an interesting what if#it would totally change canon because with what i said earlier? they all wouldve gotten the hell out of namek alive#long enough to question wtf they r doing#also in xv2 recoome just thinks its funny if you side with cooler so there’s that#he truly does not give a fuck huh#i have a lot of other context to back this up also so it doesnt come out of nowhere but its primarily based on xv2
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MUSE AU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got hela inspo from THIS FIC by MY GOAT SYENDTE !!!!!!!!!! 😎😎😎😎😎😎
umm then lore comic droolz













lore dump below cut
goodness i havent done one of these in a while . hai everypony . anwyays.
the context to the comic is that pt was pushing for dm to take his scarf off but he was reacting Very poorly and flat out refusing.
petey needs him to take the scarf off bc he needs to include the actual stitches and the dichotomy between dog head and human body in his art . thats how he thinks hes gonna get the disturbing piece he needs . but he cant tell dm he already knows about the stitches bc thsts def gonna scare him off which he Cannot risk . so hes like "i have to get him to tell me himself.... but how...." and coming out to him is the plan he comes up w essentially
percy day was peteys pseudonym back when he was still doign art for art and not bc of profit or money . he went by a pseudonym bc he knew some of his paintings could potentially be dangerous if traced back to him . they were usually subtle enough so people didnt notice the more symbolic critical elements but better to be safe than sorry
"lover" was js The painting that ended up blowing up horribly in his face and effectively ended percy days career (bc era typical homophobia) . he didnt rlly expect people to immediately clock that the painting was . yk. gay . since ppl love doing mental gymnastics to deny someone being gay .
ofc since he wasnt connected to the paintings his life wasnt like. affected that much but yk its not exactly a great feeling when everyone and their mom is ragging on ur painting for being morally reprehensible . it was Very widely covered and ridiculed and it had its effects on peteys psyche . def played a Huge role in his aversion to painting for himself .
the subject of "lover" was js one of peteys old friends / fwbs . not actually his bf or anything like that .
edit: he did love the subject obviously thats why its titled “lover” but it wasnt rlly. romantic ? it was platonic. but the love was still Very Queer . so it was kinda a qpr basically . shrug? pt was in a lot of those back in the day i think .
peteys plan does actually end up working and dm does take off the scarf . he knows how it feels to hide smth and how scary it is when someone knows that about you and you dont have anything on them . at this point dm doesnt know that he himself is also queer and the only thing hes activeky hiding is the stitches . so yeah
also the thing dm was scared of wasnt of getting reported. it was the fear of petey seeing him as some freak of nature . but he didnt rlly have a choice bc he didnt wanna mentally distress pt by not giving him anything about himself that petey can use to mentally assure himself that hes still safe .
also dms stitches could make him a target for mccarthyism bc he was a government project essentially . bc of what they did to him it actually makes Extremely logical sense for dm to have become and anarchist or smth similar . and obvs petey being gay means the ycould accuse him of being a communist . but yeah. thats why its kinda mutual and they cant report each other
petey takes a Huge risk in coming out to dm. technically peteys case is more cut and dry so theres actually higher risk in people knowing hes gay than people knowing dm is a medical project . bc ifs easy to just point at petey and ruin his life but for dm because hes just. Such a unique case. its not as easy.

bonus muse pt for fun
#my art#dogman#dm muse au#Bro i cant beliebe im paiting for the first time in Forever and its fucking Buff Cat Furry fuck me#omfg Also sydney sorry it took me fucking Forever to get around to reading the fucking fic i kept going like ok im gonna read it when my#schedule frees up a lil so i can Rlly enjoy it ... and boom 3 weeks passed BRO WAIIIITTTT !!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
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I'm not sure if you've answered this before, but I was wondering why most of your streams don't get highlight videos on the main channel anymore? Just genuine curiosity
a big reason is genuinely just because we fell off of the routine exactly One (1) time because I wanted to focus on another project briefly and then as a result of executive dysfunction and mad ADHD it becomes very easy for me to get so distracted with other tasks and routines that before i know it it’s been months since the last proper upload. i manage, as in organize, all this myself and ellie doesnt do an edit without me requesting it firsthand so if i don’t pick something then it doesn’t get done! i also think that since in 2024 i was going all in on RPG playthroughs and other long games it became somewhat inadvised to just keep making edits because tbh stuff like the FF7 videos did not do super well compared to more evergreen/one-off streams. so my streams were not very well suited for performance on the main channel, but i didn’t want to force myself to do stuff i wasn’t interested in. so i just didn’t bother.
right now i can say that we have a BTDubs edit in the works and almost ready to go, it’s a practice dub of Ratchet & Clank on PS2, and the subject of kicking back up regular edits HAS come up since tbh i can’t really afford to just not be posting. i thought maybe i could hold out until the kingdom hearts dub released and then do regular videos after that again, but KH dub has already taken a lot longer to kick up post production than i expected cause this summer has been extremely busy. probably gonna start on finalizing that one in a few weeks once we’ve moved into our new place.
anyway i hope this was enough context! TL;DR im kinda bad at managing youtube channels cause in terms of organization its all a solo project and i also prefer it that way for the most part LOL so its a self fulfilling prophecy.
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Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.
Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.
And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.
Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa
He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt
ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)
Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.
There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)
I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,
Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other
(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)
But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in
Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet
Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn
Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there
Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had
I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance
So like. Picture this.
You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.
You get there and find 3 people fighting.
(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)
Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.
Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.
You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)
And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)
You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.
All thoughts come to a screeching halt.
Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.
There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways
So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great
(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)
Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user
Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!
(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)
Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."
SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.
Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)
Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.
(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)
Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.
Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.
(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)
It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.
Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3
(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)
Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!
#birds fic talk#had to link to the vault fic chapter instead of the actual post bc I cant fucking find it#thanks tumblr#naruto au#obito uchiha#uchiha obito#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#hatake kakashi#kakashi hatake#madara uchiha#uchiha madara#izuna uchiha#uchiha izuna#uchiha hikaku#hikaku uchiha#kakashi#time travel#tenzo#tenzo yamato#yamato tenzo#sasuke#obito
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Wicked Gelphie fans, i need you guys so badly to know how well Elphaba/Glinda are "good timeline"d "history doesnt repeat, it rhymes"-ified by Dorothy/Princess Ozma in Baum's original Oz book series. like. Dorothy/Ozma get everything; theyre the sweet, intimate friends-to-"??? are they a couple?"-ified political power-sapphic-duo that Gelphie would have wanted to be. like??
if you merge canons, fam... Wicked-Glinda must be struggling, seeing Dorothy/Ozma be everything she and Elphaba could have been.... omfg... the angst potential, the envy of watching a couple of sapphic childhood sweethearts get everything they were denied, fulfill Glinda and Elphie's dreams, and seemingly so easily too...
(also!! they even CAN look like a kid-Glinda and kid-Elphaba! there's canon to justify that kind of appearance paralleling!!)
faq below if you want more context
edit, psa: i did read these books from like.. the ages of 10 to like 14 or so, maybe as young as 8? idk, i dont remember. anyway. its been a decade since i picked them back up. and i didnt think this would gain as much traction as it has been after 100+ notes in less than 24 hours. uh. so. take my chronic memory loss-addled summarization with a grain of salt?? like? i just wrote this post so i didnt have to re-vent (agAIN) to my friends about how much i fucking love Dorothy/Ozma, period, much less in parallel to Gelphie. so. enjoy, carry on, and whatnot lmao
1️⃣: there's Oz books? plural???
yes, Baum wrote 14 books about Oz, actually. also, he wrote them under the appointment of "the royal historian of Oz" instead of "author", so there's other "official" Oz books by other "royal historians of Oz"
Baum wrote so much bc (he needed money, yes, but also:) kids would send him questions in fan-mail, and he would proceed to answer them via new novels. so he never planned to make more Oz books, he just (wasnt good with money and also) was routinely inspired by the kids who wrote to him and would write the stuff they wanted to learn about Oz and whatnot
2️⃣: does Dorothy go back to Oz? wasn't it all a dream for her??
yeah, Dorothy returns to Oz a lot in the books, she eventually even moves to live there permanently. bc, in the book series, it's a real place
only in the 1939 film was Oz ever a dream
3️⃣: how does Dorothy look like Glinda OR Elphaba?? what are you talking about?
okay so, "The Wizard of Oz" has an illustrator, W. W. Denslow. in the book, Dorothy is confirmed to be wearing a blue-white gingham dress (she changes outfits tho, she doesnt always wear the same dress all 14 books like she's some cartoon character); but im pretty sure her hair was all Denslow(? i could be remembering wrong. p sure im not tho??). this is what the 1939 movie based her appearance off of. so i can see why youd go "she doesnt look like Glinda or Elphaba"



BUT Denslow and Baum started feuding. so for the rest of the Oz books that Baum wrote, he had a different illustrator by the name of John R. Neil
and Neil decided to give Dorothy for every one of the books he illustrated (so, 13 of Baum's books to Denslow's 1 book of Baum's) a cute lil blonde bob, making her look like what i assume blonde-Glinda looked like as a child. i think she'd approve lol





so!! Dorothy very much looks like a trendy little Glinda, with her cute blonde bob, her fashionable drop-waist dress, and bows for most of the Baum series, actually!
(also, Neil had a preference for dressing Dorothy in this red and polka-dot number, but, again, she does wear other outfits)
(lmao also look at Tin-Man and Scarecrow with blonde-Dorothy, they look like her two gay dads encouraging her to just go be herself at school?? i love them)
(also, if you see "Eloise At The Plaza"-energy in this Dorothy design, im right there with you lol)
4️⃣: who is Ozma??
she's the Princess of Oz. she eventually appears in the second book of the series. she rules Oz after the Wizard
she's actually a really interesting transwoman allegory too. (spoilers for a book from the early 1900s?) she was born a little girl named Ozma, but has a spell put on her as a baby to be genderbent and was socially raised as a little boy under a different name, and she later realizes who she truly is: a girl. she finds the transformation scary, as she returns to her girl-form she always truly was, but she feels better and more herself now that she is Ozma again. i dont think L. Frank Baum intentionally wrote her to be a trans allegory, but you can very obviously see why our trans elders fucking LOVED Ozma back in the early 1900s
also, she has a similar "sir, you fucked up" relationship with the Wizard as Elphaba*. and, also like Elphaba, Ozma politically tries to make things in Oz better (just.. unlike Elphaba, Ozma has the power and support to do just that p much asap)
* (edit for contextual clarification on how the Wizard fucked up: the Wizard fucked up with Ozma because he is ultimately and p directly the reason why she was genderbent/hidden. he deposed of her family and sent her away. Baum decided later on to backtrack a little bit on this(?) because he wanted to bring back the Wizard and, in order for Baum to do that, has to try to not make him SO terribly horrible??? so like. Ozma does end up forgiving him and tolerates him amd he's nicer, later on, within the books. but i doubt any modern adaptation of the books would follow that, personally. even as a kid, i went "bullshit" and headcanoned that Ozma fucking hated the guy and, at best, MAYBE tolerated him for Dorothy, but overall did not like him for justifiable reasons! i think the direction society seems to have taken the Wizard is interesting, and i wouldnt be surprised if there was at least one future adaptation that made him The Bad Guy in a very Rumplestiltskin in the Once Upon A Time TV show kind of way. but like. in the books, they do END UP getting along. i just forever disagree with Baum on that lol i think the Wizard fucked up, and in book 2 of the series (the one where Ozma is, y'know, introduced), it is obvious the Wizard FUCKED UP. but yeah. also, Ozma does get her dad back. her mom was kind of never in the picture to begin with, specifically in a Ponyo's Mom kind of way, like, she made Oz and then left it for her husband and kid to rule, so. yeah. im getting off track. my point is the Wizard did a full-on coup on her family and then banished her and genderbent her so no one would recognize that she had claim to the throne he was sitting on!! he fucked up! so, like, i personally hc that Elphaba founded the "i hate the Wizard" club to which everyone slowly joined, like Fieyro and etc, and Ozma is their youngest member. the Wizard did both Elphie and Ozma so dirty, omfg)
it also should be mentioned, Ozma in NBC's "Emerald City" was casted as Black (her actress being Jordan Loughran). so, though Ozma does not have green skin (but also? neither did the Wicked Witch of the West in the books, she wasn't green there. that was a 1939 film decision to make her green. so! Ozma could be green!! why not!), but she does have Black features to theoretically remind Glinda of Cynthia Eviro's Elphaba when you consider that casting. or, if you prefer a Jewish!Elphaba casting, a'la Idina Menzel's Elphaba, i think Ozma's book design works well to interpretively parallel those features too. or both, if you like the sound of a Black-Jewish Elphaba and Ozma paralleling lol
(edit, because i thought i mentioned this but? no?? i didnt?? i must have misclicked or something to have deleted the paragraph. im so sorry, here you go:) also, when Ozma was a boy, she was basically enslaved to her jailor of a caretaker. which one could interpret as "oh, a Cinderella story!", sure. but, with a Black Ozma, it does read as an intergenerational grief-formed power-fantasy that is both empowering and poignant for Ozma to have ran away from her enslavement and gone on to become a princess afterwards. to any Black folks who may be going "is this going to trigger me?" about Ozma having been a child-slave, i remind you that Baum wrote this intentionally for children, so, no, the books do not sit in the trauma and horror of enslavement, but whether or not it would trigger you yourself is up to your discretion. i will say, Baum did NOT write the American Girls' Addy of his time (context: a children's book about a child-slave that does go into the horrors, some, though in a kid-friendly way) or Louis Sachar's Holes (i asssume i dont have explain Holes since its movie was such a hit), i remember it as even more kid-friendly than either of those also-children's books, so i would assume most people would be fine? but you are responsible for your own mental well-being, i urge you to confirm if it is fine for yourself however you need to do that. but, yes, you can use this backstory as further evidence for your Ozma being Black, of course! you can have Ozma be Black regardless, but if you want this as further evidence, go ahead! and also, it does parallel Ozma to Elphaba in the sense that Elphaba's family mistreats Elphaba! (i will, regardless of if you prefer a Jewish and/or Black Elphaba, add that doing so is also a nice "fuck you" to Baum in how, being a white man of the late 1800s and early 1900s, did end up throwing in racist and/or antisemitic caricatures here and there within his 14 books, unfortunately. i, an Indigenous American, remember as a child still immensely enjoying Oz despite Baum being racist towards Native Americans. if youre curious on the egregious level of it all and if the story could still be enjoyable, id say it's in the realm of Peter Pan, Willy Wonka, and Matilda of "wow. that is shitty. im going to pretend this thing i love is good instead via cognitive dissonance")
regardless, in John R Neil's illustrations, Ozma does have black hair, so that too coincides with modern understandings of Elphaba






(there is also her appearance in Disney's "Return to Oz", performed by Emma Ridley, where she is blonde. but, though i love that spooky movie, that's neither here nor there. as far as im aware, only in that movie has Ozma not had black hair)
anyway, she rules Oz; and by book 3, becomes really close friends with Dorothy. they're not a canon couple, not anymore than Gelphie is, but they are such close and affectionate friends that they are so easy to ship as childhood sweethearts (so, no, there is no moment of 🎶loathing🎶, but i find that sweetness makes them an angstier parallel for Glinda to watch over, personally lol)
like here's some illustrations from the books of them just being two "gal pals". no wonder our queer elders shipped them lmao and this isn't even all of their illustrations together, this is just the first spurts that google shot out at me lmao



also??? this is them with book-Glinda. not only do they look absolutely darling, also, yes, Dorothy becomes a princess, because Ozma said so. they co-rule Oz together. they are just too sweet, fam, i love these two little childhood sweethearts, i choose to see Dorothy's princess-ship as the same as two kids promising to marry one another when they grow up. this is so cute



and can you imagine Wicked-Glinda? looking down at these two, seeing what could have between herself and Elphaba had things turned out different??? im making myself sad
(also "Book of Glinda" is so wild. both in terms of "...Baum, how do you not see this as queer?" like with one example being like "Baum, you put that Glinda has 100s of single women at her beck and call in her palace, this is so easy to see as sapphic, sir"... and then, over here, we have John R Neil repeatedly reading "gave a platonic, innocent kiss" and going "okay, so, uh, making out? i dont do platonic kissing" lmao anYWAAAAYYYY, THAT'S NOT RELEVANT HERE)
🌟5️⃣ bonus:
so, you might have a few follow-up questions. like, what is "Elphaba" like in the books? what does she look like?
well, she's really only in the first book. she's one-note, evil, dies. she's not green-skinned, and she isn't given any sort of name. she is only called "the Wicked Witch of the West", that's it, she is not Elphaba
however, i will mention the Wicked Witch of the West, in the books, is a fashion disaster and i want to see her look used as evidence that "yes, goth-Elphaba and dark-academia-Elphaba are 10/10, but also?? kitschy grandma-core knitwear-Elphaba × her fashionably Barbie pink girlfriend". i'd love to see art of that. i'm just saying


also?? this isn't related to her at all but guess what
Scarecrow/Tin-Man was like THE ship for our queer elders. they are so emotionally intimate, they live together, it's great, look at these pictures of them being absolute bros (can you see why they were shipped so hard)


i bring this up, bc you could argue Fieyro/Boq if you merge canons to make your own narrative and whatnot. guess Fieryo and Boq kinda had their own mirrored 🎶loathing🎶 period under that framing lmao
or, if you hate Boq, youll probably love the Tin-Man's angsty "ship of Theseus"-like backstory as the once-Nick Chopper(: his human name, pre-tin-ification) that is in the books
so! enjoy that knowledge!! theyre super cute in the books, i love them. again, not a canon ship, but still beloved by our elder queers, just like Ozma and Dorothy
i hope it makes even more sense now why our queer elders used the phrase "Are you a friend of Dorothy?" as code to see if someone else was queer, not even taking into account the 1939 movie or Judy Garland's relationship with the queer community
anyway, albeit this is all the basics generalized, that should be everything
but yeah!! Ozma and Dorothy reminding Glinda of what could have been, of what she lost, being the sweeter "next generation" version of Gelphie?? tugs so hard at my heartstrings
but yeah, do whatever you want with Gelphie, Fieryo, and Part 2. im just saying. the angst potential of being envious and living vicariously through someone and seeing other people get the happy ending you were denied?? is right there lol
(edit: this awesome video by Kaz Rowe JUST came out if you want to hear more about the Oz book series, its queerness, its author, its GLARING PROBLEMS including but not limited to instances of racism, and so on and so forth. Kaz Rowe is a fantastic video-essayist, so i hope you watch the video and enjoy their hard-polished craftsmanship)
#wicked#gelphie#glinda#Elphaba#glinda x elphaba#wicked glinda#ariana grande glinda#glinda the good witch#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#wicked elphaba#cynthia eviro elphaba#the wicked witch of the west#wicked witch of the west#wicked witch#dorothy gale#the wizard of oz#wizard of oz#princess ozma#ozma
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jeb and phobos relationship interpretation/analysis
sorry if its a bit aimless its rewritten from several discord messages from the past few years
all of this provides screenshots of canon evidence to back it up
overall warning for abusive situations and heavy themes
first i want to get into the way nexus scientists as a whole were treated:

theres a few things that stand out to me here, on what scientists are expected not to do:
"-any interaction with outsiders", implying nexus scientists are either heavily monitored when they interact with people outside the nexus or theyre just not allowed to at all
-they cant have "unusual feelings of rage, hostility, depression". pretty self explanatory
the tower guards also have no problem using physical force against you in the cutscenes
if employees are fired or quit, they are killed:
phobos only refers to jeb with his first name in the professional setting rather than christoff, adding to the lack of respect phobos has for him
(as much as this often goes both ways with jeb using "phobos" when hes mad, i bring this up as a point in the piling evidence suggesting the dynamic between them is built on control, disrespect, and dehumanization. if you ask me the contexts of phobos using "jebediah" vs jeb using "phobos" are completely different in their own way, but i wanted to say that anyways to clear it up)
just from the science tower cutscene alone we see how much degrading language phobos uses towards jeb too
^= if you want to get into theory territory, theres also the flavor text for postfall jebs labcoat:

"ablating damage from harsh language" huh
another two lines that are super important to me:

1. phobos says that jeb does as he says until the day phobos releases him to the other place, essentially saying jeb is under phoboses control for life, until phobos decides to kill jeb himself.
2. phobos says he picked jeb up from the wastes of nevada and set him on his path. this line will be brought up a lot later for different reasons
this establishes the amount of control phobos really has over jeb and the other scientists, the way he treated/punished them, and what working at the nexus means; its a lifelong commitment thats meant to be your purpose, and for a lot of people it wasnt even a choice. its implied that ultimately this was the case for jeb, given that employees are killed upon termination of employment. jeb may have been passionate about his work, but he still wasnt allowed to leave. he deserved the choice, regardless if he would have taken it or not.
with this in mind i imagine that jeb himself was labeled as "defiant" given how much of a control freak he is, how he speaks up about his grievances with phoboses decisions and any idea he doesnt agree with;


thus making him much more isolated from the general society than the rest of the scientists. in my mind this is why we dont see him in nevada central during arena mode like we do crackpot and hofnarr. jeb has more restrictions placed on him since hes perceived as more likely to reveal company secrets, rally people against the nexus, etc.
so this amount of control, pressure, isolation was particularly harsher for him. which gets into my next point:
phobos played a hand in shaping "the savior"
i think phobos in some way planted the seeds for the future motives of every head scientist we see. he plays a very strong narrative force in mpn even after his death, which is what i like about him.
in jebs case its the expectation of being nexus city/nevadas savior. his intentions from the very beginning were to save the world:

jeb and the other scientists were put on a pedestal in the form of propaganda to the city




he genuinely feels above people and that its his purpose to save them because thats what he was told his entire life.
and jeb was given significant pressure to be perfect and not to make any mistakes

"do whatever it takes, jebediah"
i like to think that outlook stuck with him
jeb had this idea that his purpose is to save the world instilled into him for years. not only that, but he found out that it was all for nothing. being the person he is, of course he would want to take matters into his own hands. be the savior he was always meant to be. trying to claim hes broken free of the past, when subconsciously hes shaping his identity around it. whether he likes it or not, his time at the nexus clearly carried into his present worldview. he still holds onto the belief that his purpose is to save nevada.
and with all the pressure he had, he has this aversion to accepting criticism or accepting that he failed. you can hear this directly in his death voicelines. if he fails, he has no purpose anymore. to this day jeb is averse to criticism and deflects it. when doc tells him project nexus is still alive, he refuses to believe his efforts were for nothing and he snaps at them.
jeb also takes after phobos in his mannerisms and speech patterns. even uses of specific phrases like calling the main three "gentlemen" and using the same animations.
hell, jeb even has the binary sword, which he took from phobos, as his main weapon. he literally uses something belonging to phobos to enact his self-proclaimed purpose. that in itself symbolizes how deeply intertwined jebs newfound purpose is with what phobos expected of him. you just cant separate the two. jeb now embodies someone he swore to destroy.
and with the way jeb uses hofnarr and sheriff to further his goals, whether theyre good-intentioned or not, it can be seen as a trauma cycle. once jeb spirals into this savior mindset, other people are just gears in his plan to save nevada. jeb very often reflects the actions and mannerisms of phobos, and with the context that jeb was under phoboses control for most of his upbringing, it becomes clear that phobos was the one who imprinted on him. it obviously doesnt mean jeb isnt responsible for his own actions, he most certainly is. but its fun to shed light on where this all could have stemmed from.
overall to me jebs a pretty interesting example of how unhealed trauma and abuse can shape you into a bitter, terrible person if left to fester (definitely not always the case, of course v_v;;). jeb doesnt want to heal and refuses to look inward and see his flaws because of his bad experiences with making mistakes, so he only gets worse as the series progresses. its cool to explore what that does to someone and theres a lot of potential on the dynamic between jeb and phobos that i really love. i hope you like my post too, its been years in the making ^_^
#madness combat#madcom#jebediah christoff#director phobos#🦴.txt#madness: project nexus#analysis#marrowart
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I have been a huge Harry Potter Fan in my Childhood. Harry Potter was the first book i enjoyed reading. I won a reading contest in my school witha part of the first Harry Potter book. I wanted to become an author in fourth grade because of the books. I wrote my own fantasy story based on the books and i loved pottermore when it first came out. I can emphasize with the Harry Potter Fans who dont want to let go of the series because it means so much to them like it meant so much to me as a child. Often in online debates people get very defensive. Short snappy comments are better for the algorithms and its easier to hate people who still like Harry Potter despite knowing what J K Rowling political stance is on many issues. But I believe you cant convince anyone by just attacking them so here are some general thoughts from me on losing something you used to really really like. Im german and in Germany we have some very old children stories called Struwwelpeter. They seem very cruel to modern readers. A boy for example gets his thumbs cut off because he keeps sucking them. As a child these stories were very disturbing to me. Later i learnt that this story for example was written in a time where children often would die because they would get diseases from sucking there thumbs. Medicine was not evolved enough to save these children and the concept to keep children save by scaring them seemed like a good idea. The fairytales, a lot of people only know the disney version of, many of them also have a more cruel ending for similar reasons. Why am I bringing this up? Context matters to a story. Harry Potter wasnt a perfect story that got ruined by Rowlings tweets in the last few years there are many bigoted ideas in Harry Potter from the beginning. Also just because you liked something as a child it doesnt mean it was very good media. Lets talk about behaviour therapy shall we. The whole idea of behaviour therapy is that you can become a happier person if you change your behaviour (very simplified). The process of that however means a lot of times, that first you are going to be struggling or unhappier then before. Change is never comfortable. Humans love to stay in there behaviour patterns they know and new things are scary. But in the end behaviour therapy does work! If you get over your discomfort you will develop healthier coping mechanisms for example and you will get better. Now back to Harry Potter. Yes it is uncomfortable and sad to admit something you love isnt as good as you thought it was. Yes it can also feel embarassing to admit you were wrong. But to change is to grow. It might sound over dramatic talking about a children book series like this, but giving J K Rowling more money does cause real harm for people (especially trans people) in the real world. Also my concern is if you cant let go of a book you really like how far will it go? What about a person you admired that turns out to be bad for you? What about a political party? Its not nice to be wrong but its something we all have to learn to live with and its ok. You will be fine. This post is specifically about harry potter fans that are not transphobic, terfs or agree in any other way with Rowlings political views ofc Here are some youtube videos about things being wrong in the original Harry Potter series:
youtube
youtube
(you can also search harry potter bad on youtube for many many more videos)
#harry potter#hp#hp fandom#draco malfoy#severus snape#drarry#hp fanart#hp fanfic#sorry for spam tagging i just hope people see my post#Youtube
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Gideon Nav CANNOT Die. Hold on- I know... but give me one second and I'll explain.
So, as I said before Gideon Nav cannot die, or at least her body can't. Cause clearly (spoiler warning) Gideon Nav died at the end of Gideon the Ninth. There is no avoiding that.
But! If you have read all the books GtN, HtN, and NtN including all of the accompanying short stories (tho I will admit I have not read The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex yet) then there is a better understanding of the timeline of the whole story outside of just what the three main books give you. Specifically and especially with Gideon's body. But also there are many times In Gideons life were she has faced near death events or events that she should not have survived from and still was breathing on the other side.
To go in chronological order of these events, when she was first born she was found in a container held by the air depraved suit of her mother. And while ofc In the book it does state that her mother had redirected her air supply to Gideon, but it is simply being stated to cover all my bases.
Then the 200 sons and daughters massacre when Gideon was 1 (or 2 im not sure) when she inhaled poisonous air without dying. Which led ofc to the Reverend Mother and Father fearing the ground she walked. And this is a big one because, it literally creates waves in the plot. It's a defining point of Harrow and Gideons relationship. That Gideon did not die when she was supposed to.
Later in the story Gideon talks with Pal when she believes Harrow to be a murderer and openly admits to him that "she nearly killed me a half dozen times growing up" which obviously in context was to emphasize on the brutal relationship between her and Harrow. But this could also be other times where miraculously Gideon survived death when she shouldn't have. Because as we know from the first confrontation between Harrow and Gideon. Harrow doesnt hold back for her.
Finally of all the events where Gideon escapes death, this one actually happens within the main story of Gideon the Ninth. When Harrow siphons from Gideon to retrieve one of the challenge keys. And at the end when Gideon passes out, it is narrated ""ha-ha," said Gideon, "first time you didn't call me Griddle," AND DIED." Now, this could obviously just be the snarkiness of Gideon narrating. Or something incredibly clever left behind by Tamsyn Muir for a book series that is so clearly meant to be reread. But ofc to do my rounds the next line after does state "well, passed out. But it felt a hell of a lot like dying." But then immediately after "wake up had an air of ressurection." Which honestly feels like Tamysn Muir teasing the readers at this point. The question then becomes rather, which one was the tease and which one was foreshadowing/ evidence.
Now the point of listing all of these events is that in all of these cases the chances of death are so incredibly high that for most its a miracle she's alive. Ofc most notably for the siphoning trial and the poision gas, but none the less there is proof within the written story and and out that Gideon has looked death in face and moved on with maybe a headache. And it wasn't just in her child hood this is something she can just do. Some recreated in the written story! Because as Pal said. Even with the siphoning challenge done perfectly the chances of leaving Cam with severe brain damage was far to high. And Gideon didn't even suffer that.
Sadly, despite all these Gideon gets to the final battle and fights Cytherea and does die. At the hands of a particularly pointy fence. Or was it truly the fence that did her in? Rather than the lyctorship ritual that was started seconds afterwards.
My full theory, isnt just that Gideon Nav can't die. It's that Gideon Nav wouldn't have been able to die... If Harrow hadn't sucked her soul out. There are at the very least 8 seperate events that Gideon should have died, two of which were nearly gauranteed, but she was ended by a piece of metal. Yes, a very well placed piece a metal, but the point still up to that point she had faced worse a came out unscathed.
If Harrow had not completed the lyctor ritual, Gideon would not have died. Wether or not through resurrection or simply walking it off. Gideon's body has some sort of necromantic attributes to it that keep her alive. We see this in the Untitled Entry short story with Judith Deuteros that describes Gideons body, as it does not rot, cannot be injured, cannot be fed to animals forced or otherwise. And that is all before Jod ever gets a look at the body, because otherwise he would have known Gideon was his daughter before the later events of Harrow the Ninth.
And ofc during the first challenge when Harrow uses Gideon as her eyes to be able to see the construct in the other room and Gideon is able to see the thanergetic signatures that Harrow remarks should be impossible. (I assume because the process is Harrow extracting information (Gideons eyesight) from Gideon and so Gideon should not also be receiving information (the ability to see the signatures)) unless Gideon had some form of necromantic abilities, which she was tested for as a kid and apparently did not have. Alongside not having the correct attitude to be a nun of the ninth. And so we can round it out to be her body being naturally necromantic leaving Gideon without the ability to use it. (Which Is a jump from the actual point we are attempting to use, but for now this stops us from assuming Gideon as any sort of necromantic ability which is a theory all on its own. One that I personally have no evidence for or against)
Now, that I have hopefully made both my Ap Lit and Lang teachers proud with my 3 am essay, I must give you the real tragedy of Gideon the Ninth. Had Gideon not died, had Harrow been unable to complete the lyctor ritual for emotional reasons or otherwise, had Harrow not become a lyctor and killed cytherea. Gideon would have had to watch Harrow and Cam be killed, possibly even Corona, Judith and Ianthe. And then to be used for Cythereas own motives. Tamysn Muir beautifully set up the story so that the best possible outcome could have happened. Had Gideon not died. Everyone else would have. And "Camilla the sixth was no idiot" cam knew and accepted this whereas Harrow never would have. And so the unkillable Gideon had to die, and forcing Harrows hand was the only way to do it.
#The Locked Tomb#the locked tomb brainrot#the locked tomb theories#the locked tomb series#i cant believe i wrote a fucking essay for this#an unplanned and unorganized essay#but an essay nonetheless#tlt#tlt brainrot#tlt series#tlt theories#theory#gideon the 9th#gideon the ninth#gideon nav#harrowhark#harrowhark the first#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#im not even drunk or high i did this for FUN#essay#books#nona the ninth#untitled entry#john gauis#Jod#cytherea the first#cytherea loveday#Cytherea#judith deuteros
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"now i understand why forfy got mad at that one person for saying maximizer is about an ai" it was just a take that lacked so so much context i want to respect other opinions by all means im no authority on series songs im also just a fan & i have limits on my personal knowledge that affects how i interpret them. but it was just such a big disregard to the minor parts of the song & (of course i cant really fault anyone for this when magu has only ONCE directly said anything about aru sekai series being a series & it was bc of harassment & on their locked acc so out of respect i wont be sharing the details) disregards so much of the series as a whole. it was just a little bit frustrating to see it reduced to topics that were explained mostly via reading wiki pages anyway.
#like i get using wiki. i have also had to use wikis for series context i didnt know.#i sat thru a literal ted talk once bc it had info that was relevant to a part of aru sekai shoushitsu#by all means do your research & site ur sources#but siting ur sources & reading directly off the page are two different things#not everyone can do this & i get that but like ideally IDEALLY#if ur explaining something to an audience u should be able to some extent reword it by yourself#because if someone doesnt understand it & has questions u should really be able to break it down further and/or explain differently#which is a difficult skill to do well but again if ur aim is to explain something to an audience u should work on that#uhhhh but yeah something something minor details in series songs#im used to looking for them at this point and even /i/ miss them#zin pointed out something to me the other week about OUMEN of all songs#we all know im INSANE about that song EASILY the one i think about most.#and yet it pointed out something i totally passed off as being 'just how songs work' when its definitely a detail#theres A LOT to miss even if u know what ur looking for.#but to just give a surface level reading of it & call it an explanation is SUCH a disservice to the effort put in#also hi ur tags made me really happy i screenshotted them for later#all my opinions on touhikou that are up here are probably SUPER out dated i should go back to that song too#theres. a lot. theres so much in touhikou. if u think yamete had a lot touhikou has like double that#[dons a shirt that reads im normal about vocaloid songs series]
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Hey, there! I really liked that ask about Darius that you posted, about his personality and probable past. If it’s not too much to ask and if you don’t mind, could you tell me the same about Nica, too, please? I am so curious about the Swan Lake trio, and yet I can’t find much information about them online. Thank you for always keeping us up to date with the Japanese version of the game, and I hope you have a wonderful time, wherever you are :))
hi anon! omg im so sorry this is so so sooo late.. but i will try my best to describe nica 💚🍒 sometimes im not completely sure how to like phrase things lmao also.. for anyone wondering, here is the darius version i made a while back
about nica and possible backstory ↓
his personality
the playboy label doesn’t wear nica but he sure wears the playboy label. he has his times when he flirts teasingly with kate or js outright teases her period, mostly just to get a strong reaction outta her, but his teasing side doesn’t encompass himself as a whole. most notably there’s that wish of his to be the “happiest man in the world”.. though we don’t get much context why it is so as of now. he is also quite witty and observant (e.g. able to memorize layouts of buildings quickly), and good at obtaining info since he knows how to talk to people.
he kind of foils ring in the sense that while ring is sort of like a “puppet” to darius, nica is driven by his own motives and ambitions. he’s highly independent, and even goes to the point of what seems to be defying darius. it really goes to show how he is not forced to obey him (i think nica is thankful to darius for saving them, but also doesn’t feel so indebted to him either- he prioritizes himself), but rather he chooses to do so since its more convenient for him.
while he often does seem to prioritize himself, thats not to say he doesnt care abt others- its js he has a tendency to put more distance between them. in fact, kate affirms that he holds both ring and her very close to his heart and he’s actually quite protective abt them both. there are also times whn he would reminisce on memories involving ring- like how he would find four leaf clovers for ring. he looks forward but at the same time feels attachment to the past. perhaps he is a pretty emotional person despite his superficial amicable/social front.
that said, even if he is a bit superficial, flirtatious, distant, etc. nica also seems to hold a sense of respect for kate in that he sees her as an equal. in earlier bond stories as well, they tend to banter a lot like regular friends. he asks kate for what she wants to do, shows interest in what shes thinking, and respects both her thoughts and decisions, even if he himself may disagree. he sees her views as quite dazzling and idealistic, but at the end of the day sees her as her own person.
his backstory
not much is known abt his backstory. but we do know that he, along with ring, were being experimented on in germany with their curses; there were mult flashbacks of ths, incl in roger’s rt and one of ring’s later bond stories. at that time, the twins were referred to by numbers instead of names, and these experiments were likely carried out, endorsed by, and/or assisted by roger’s father- we get these small clues being:
roger asking nica near the end of his rt whether the two have met before. nica denies ths, but considering his tendency to put others as a distance, he may very much be hiding smth or lying, likely so he wouldnt have to remember much of the past in front of roger.
in the ghost house report story, roger mentions his father taking him overseas for some research or smth along those lines. it may very well be referring to germany.
assuming darius’ bond story “secret talk” contains a true story, the institution nica and ring would have been held in was called the house in germany. ths would be where the twins were experimented on (perhaps on whether two ppl can simultaneously bear the same curse- though ths is pure speculation on my part), and were saved from by darius.
nica cared deeply for ring and they would spend a lot of time together. whn ring went hungry, nica would share his portion. whn ring couldnt find a four leaf clover, nica found one for him instead. they were inseparable- as they only had each other.
he later became a part of darius’ “family” and assists him in expanding ths “family”.. likely while trying to fulfill his own ambition to become the happiest man in the world.
#ask#anon#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil nica#ikevil nica schwartz#nica schwartz#ikemen villains nica#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome
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"The moon is beautiful tonight" bro if someone said that to me I'd choke 💀. So here's a request ig. Octavinnle and scarabia saying this phrase in casual conversation causes like. it doesn't mean anything in twst, but yuu doesnt know that. So yuu just looks at them like


And suddenly they're being a hell of a lot more affectionate towards them specifically, which is really starting to fuck with their emotion at this point. Cause like. "I've thought of what we'd act like as a married couple a million times and you are acting exactly like that"
So now like, idk, 2 months later or something, the boys basically do a "reject me so I can move on. Or not, please not, actually"
And yuus like? We've been together for 2 months now? I thought we were taking it slow but not this slow??
He doesn't even fully remember what he said, or the context that brought it up. If someone were to offer him all the world's wealth and power he wouldn't be able to tell them what brought about this change.
If he did he might find it ironic that in your world there was a place and time where "I love you" could be translated into "the moon looks beautiful tonight." For what else could he have been trying to say?
I LOVE THIS TROPE I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH. UNREQUITED REQUITED ACCIDENTAL LOVE CONFESSION MY BELOVED. Anyway yeah sure I can do this easy. Also can someone tell me what "ig" means I am an elderly woman ☆ヽ(o_ _)o notes: they/them used for Yuu, angst with the intent of comfort, not all of them follow the flow of the prompt exactly sorry, idk if I like this one? I'm so sorry it took so long I loved this prompt but for some reason when I sat down to write it my brain fried. More fic can be found on my masterlist here.
Azul
What He Says:
You can't actually see the moon from Octavinelle, so how the conversation topic got around to it is quite lost on you. "You just don't really seem like an astrology h- person to me?" It is all you can do to bite back a different description as you try to pretend your focus is on the silverware you are rolling and not the ever so slightly disheveled octomer across the office. You treasure these times, though you have to wonder just how intentional they are. Azul always has an aura of manufactured perfection around him, so to see him with ink stained hands and a crooked tie... you wish you were quick enough to get a picture with something other than your mind's eye.
"I could say the same about you," he smiles as he speaks in a way you want to believe is affectionate "though I suppose it shouldn't, every planet large enough to host life will have a moon." Your fingers fidget with the napkins as you wonder where to take this talk, talking with Azul is a lot like a dance at a masquerade you haven't been invited to. One small slip and he has you at his mercy.
"I was surprised your moon looks so similar to mine." You try. "It was very comforting to know it still represents my deepest, truest self."
"Then it must look beautiful tonight." Azul says softly, as if he is more testing the words in his mind than he is saying them. But still you startle and drop the silverware and make him jump.
"I'm sorry?" You stumble over yourself to pick it up and see a worried Azul standing in front of you.
"I said the moon must look beautiful tonight." He says as he bends to help, so casually that he has to call out to you again to make you realize this isn't a dream.
"It is." You pull yourself up and stand closer to him than you have ever previously dared.
When He Breaks (Two Months Later):
Ramshackle Prefect: Morning Azul ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Azul stares at his phone as if he is unused to the words on his screen. His thumb hovers over the heart as if he could reach out and touch what sits on the other side and know.
You: Morning, a bit early for you isn't it?
Not that he is upset exactly, this is a lovely thing to wake up to. But it's torture, pure torture to lack the context for any of this. When you started messaging him in the morning he had been too pleased to think critically. His mind conjures up images of how sweet you could sound when half asleep, what it would be like to hear that wish from you every morning out loud instead of on a screen. He shakes his head trying to blink back the tears as he rises, these thoughts are like one of those mirages he'd heard Jamil describe before. If he looked too hard it would disappear and leave him with nothing but sand, and there is nothing a merfolk fears more than the absence of water.
Ramshackle Prefect: (。•̀ᴗ-) Ramshackle Prefect: hehe im goin back to sleep now. Ramshackle Prefect: dont overwork urself. it's supposed to be the weekend!!!
"Supposed to be the weekend" he wants to die. His heart hammers away at his chest as reads and re-reads his messages searching for a sign of how or why he is getting these messages. It's a thankless task, he's done this every day for... it feels like years but he knows from his carefully kept notes it's only been two months one week and three days. And he does mean notes, so what if he's taken to keeping Yuu's file in his night stand it's still kept in a file which means it isn't a diary. Not that it would be a problem if he did-
Ramshackle Prefect: oh before I forget is it ok if I stop by the lounge later? I tried making a pudding and want to know if it tastes good Ramshackle Prefect: y'know to people who don't eat literal dirt
-so no he wasn't keeping a diary but maybe Jade is on to something and he should really start because he hears those are good for managing stress.
~~~~
"Not that I am unimpressed with your efforts," is what Azul says out loud with a great deal of effort "but is it just me or have you been trying to cook a lot more lately?" It had started with little sandwiches and maybe a salad on days he was still at work late into the night, dropped off with the claim that Yuu was worried he wasn't taking care of himself but they never actually stayed to watch him eat it. This was new, as if they were testing the waters of something from their position on his couch, face still puffy with sleep as they settle themselves deep into its puffy cushions and watch him at his desk. Maybe they were concerned he would not want a desert and intended to stay and make sure he didn't throw it out. That had to be it, but then why visit dressed so casually? He can count on one hand the times he has seen Yuu out of an NRC uniform, and none of those allowed him a glimpse of their actual preferences in clothing.
It's like they've forgotten who they are dealing with.
"Well yeah, it's a good skill to have." Yuu looks at him with a genuine unguarded smile. "Besides it's fun to get your opinions on my food, I don't always understand how you come up with them but I feel like it helps."
"My I didn't realize you held my advice in such high esteem." He feels much more like himself now with this information. Of course Yuu has been messaging him more, they need him for something. It might sting, but it's safe. Logical. Something he can work with. "Maybe I'll just have to start charging you, can't have you taking my secrets and stealing away my customers, can I."
But for some reason this just makes you laugh. "No need to worry about that, I only really cook for you. And Grim I guess but like I said, he literally eats dirt. I mean just the other day-
"What did you say?" Azul's voice sounds strained.
"About Grim eating dirt?" You say, and Azul finally for someone so smart and so proud on his ability to read people thinks that he might have made a mistake. "He says he's making a tier list."
"Why are you so painfully human?" His smile is strange, you can't say you have ever seen him like this before, it's a strange mix of happiness and resignation. "Your heart is so- prefect do you trust me?"
"Yes." You answer, seemingly confused as if your answer to that question shouldn't have been something he doubted.
"Would you trust me with your life? Your secrets?" He makes his way out from behind his desk to stand above you, to look down at you and confirm that for some damnable reason you are still calm. "Would you trust me with your life?"
"...only if you wanted it." Finally he sees a trace of fluster in you, finally you feel as nervous around him as he does around you constantly. He places a finger under your chin and forces you to look at him.
"Then tell me how you feel about me truthfully. Because everything you have said and done up to this point has been driving me crazy into thinking I have a chance." You blink. Once. Twice. And then a look of pure confusion distorts your perfect face.
"You- you don't know? But I thought- I mean you said-" And then suddenly Yuu has managed to jump out from the couch and the intensity of the moment stutters closer to comedy as Azul watches you curl under his desk like it's an octopot. "You said the moon was beautiful."
It's Azul's turn to blink. Once. Twice. He feels like he should be holding back tears, or disappointed in some way but- "I did say that... but what does that have to do with, anything?" You don't move and Azul considers his options, and decides to walk slowly to his desk and pick up the pudding before settling himself just out of sight from where you are hiding. And he waits, he waits for you to speak like his hands aren't clammy and he is not worried at all about what you might have to say.
"In my world when you say that it means something." You sound so small and alone, but still he waits. "I was really happy to hear you say it, but I didn't think... no I just didn't think. I'm so so so sorry."
"What did you think I said?" His mind is racing with the possibilities, but he has an idea because really what else could he have said that would explain all of this behavior?
"I don't wanna say it. It's embarrassing." You sound close to tears and Azul can't have that now can he? He crouches down to look at you curled under his desk and thinks that Floyd must have been wrong when he called you a shrimp, how could you be anything other than another octopus, waiting for someone who understood them too?
"As embarrassing as saying it again?" He doesn't wait for you to reply. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." He watches your breath hitch in delight as he fully invades your space and whispers what it looks like he should have just said all along. "I love you."
And gets to hear the one thing he has wanted most. "I love you too."
Jade
What He Says:
"And that is the Hero constellation." Jade makes sure to keep his hand as close to you as plausible, resting the back of it against yours as he uses his pencil to point at the star chart you are examining to avoid having to move it away from your addictive warmth. He delights in the way you try to suppress your shudders yet make no move to shake him off, what a dangerous game it is you have decided to play tonight. "Named after the Hero who dove into the underworld to fetch back his beloved from death itself."
"It looks familiar." You swallow and try to focus on the stars, Jade had been kind enough to offer you some "opinions" (because help would cost you and he has no intention to charge yet) when he saw you struggling to read your astrology homework. "But I don't think it was as important to astrology back in my world..."
"Oya? Your world also values the guidance of the stars?" Jade is always hard to read, but even more so in the dark. Something to do with his natural habitat you suppose, not that you are excited about the potential he sees you as some sort of prey. Not that you couldn't be if you knew just what sort.
"Well yeah sometimes. But I think it has more to do with the zodiac constellations and the position of the planets." You smile and hope this little bit of information is enough for Jade to take as payment instead of a favor but he simply hums.
"Yes I do seem to recall you saying something like that." He says with a smile and you desperately wrack your brain for how he could know that when you know damn well it wasn't to him.
You were only sort of right, he had been there, just out of sight listening intently as you described the differences in the mythological origins of the various signs and their importance in match making.
"Only in some cultures Ace!"
But you had made no mention of whether or not that culture was yours, which was all Jade really cared about. Not that he placed much interest or faith in the stars but if you did that was important data. But no matter how carefully he tried to poke the only thing you ever seemed to really like talking about was the moon. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." Jade says, bitterly, head full with ideas that he wants to give but cannot without overplaying his hand. And yet-
"Do you mean that?" He turns his head abruptly, blinking in confusion down at your flustered self. Jade knows right away that he has said something without meaning to, your reaction screams it but just this once- no he is always selfish when it comes to you. So in keeping with his habits, he drops the pencil and folds his hand around yours properly.
"Every word." It is all he can do to keep his teeth from showing as he watches you fold into him. Normally when Jade offers to walk you home you make up an excuse or outright decline, but when he offers tonight you are happy to accept. You even let him help you pick up your things and when he decides to push his luck and ask for your hand-
You let him take it. His brain is fried, the only thing he can think of and feel is the texture of your skin and the weight of your fingers intertwined with his. Neither of you speak on the way back to Ramshackle, Jade barely hears himself whispering you a goodnight as he swears you stare at his lips in the same way he always dreams of yours.
His mind works overtime as he walks back to his dorm, thinking and re-thinking his words and wondering if he has reached the right conclusion. Data, he needs more data on this change. You have let him get close to what he wants in moments of weakness before, but you have never let him touch and as much as he wants to throw himself into you and be consumed with his assumptions...
When He Breaks (3 months later):
He is long past collecting data at this point, he is just being a coward. Jade is fairly certain that Yuu is courting him... but that pesky doubt keeps creeping back in the longer he looks at them. Not that Jade is unfamiliar with doubting himself, or waiting to strike but you...
"Are you alright, Jade?" You're laid across his lap without a care in the world watching that damn moon again, completely unaware of him unraveling beneath you. "You've been spacing out a lot lately."
"I've just had a lot on my mind~" He caresses the side of your face and you let him, you even whine a bit when he retracts it and speed up his heart rate just enough to make him hyper conscious of his breaths. "Can I ask you something?"
"Technically you already have." You squirm to try and dodge his flick but don't seem too fussed by it. "But sure, what's bothering you?"
"Do you hate me?"
"What?" Oh that look of shock on your face is precious he hasn't seen it in a while. Slowly, giving you just enough space to run if you want Jade bends towards you, smiling wide and tootful as he repeats the question.
"I was wondering if you hate me dear Prefect. Because you see," he sniffles and tries to pretend he doesn't hear you groan in exasperation "our relationship these past few months has been nothing but pure torture for my poor self."
"Oh has it now." You don't sound like you believe him how tragic. "I didn't realize I was such bad company."
"Oh the worst sort." He whimpers. "The sort of company that takes advantage of the thin lines between you and does all sort of things to your poor heart."
"... thin lines?" Finally. FINNALY. You sound just as worried as he's been these past three months. He ceases his blubbering and looks at your embarrassed face properly. It's adorable, he'll have to ask for your forgiveness later for his lengthy pause admiring it later.
"Please be truthful." He whispers just a tad lower than is necessary. "And be gentle with me in your rejections so I can move on if I must but first-"
"We're not dating?!?!?" How rude you don't let him finish before you interrupt and try to run away. His long arms interrupt your retreat, pulling you down with peels of laughter (from him it's clear you don't find this funny) as he rolls you onto the grass, pinned directly beneath him. You look good like this, eyes focused entirely on him and no longer pining after the moon.
"There seems to have been a misunderstanding." He says and you try your best to glare threateningly up at him. "I can't quite remember anything I might have done to make you think we were together. Was it something I said?"
"You said... I'm so stupid."
"I don't seem to recall ever having said that outloud." You try to knee him in the groin but he pins your leg down with his own, such useful things though a tail would have made this entire confrontation much more efficient.
"Of course it doesn't mean the same thing. This is a different world." You look genuinely distraught, and though Jade doesn't regret his teasing one bit he doesn't want to keep you in suspense much longer. So he bends his face directly next to your ear and whispers.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Your breath hitches and Jade rolls to his side, pulling you up onto his chest before you can go back to being angry at him. "You're right, it doesn't mean whatever you think it should here. After all if I wanted to say how I feel about you I wouldn't use a metaphor."
"And just what would you say about me?" You sound so impossibly small, just as in need of reassurance as he had been just mere moments ago.
"I would say that I love you, of course." It's hard to say out loud, but worth the reward of your warmth settling into him once more, with clarity this time and no need for cowardice.
Floyd
What He Says:
Floyd has been in a strange mood lately, not quite bad, not quite good, and yet somehow very clearly not somewhere in between either. Reflective is the word you would choose yourself, but no one is really asking your opinion they just want you to fix it.
Not that you have any real clue how you are going to do that, you will be the first to admit you didn't have much of a plan when you asked if Floyd wanted to climb up to Ramshackle's roof and shoot the breeze. Not that you are really complaining it had been funny watching him try to figure out the climb.
"I though you were supposed to be good at this." You laugh from your perch waving a bag of flavored potato chips in encouragement as Floyd snorts just below you.
"I'm real good at parkour, just haven't really climbed trees before. I ain't a monkey fish." Still he manages to hoist himself up just fine and plop himself next to you with a thud that reminds you of just how much weight there is to him. He's tall and lean, his figure seems to go on forever as he stretches himself out next to you, eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a breath and holds out a hand for a chip.
You stuff it into his mouth and try not to laugh too hard when he chokes. He spits some of the chip shards back at you and tries not to smile too wide when you sputter and whine about how gross he is for spitting on you.
"Ya do this a lot back home?" It's not the first time Floyd has asked about your world, but it is certainly the most random.
"We've got stars in my world too." You snort, trying to think about just how you are going to turn this conversation around into something more cheerful. "But nah, pretty sure someone would have called the cops if they caught me on the roof at 2 am." Floyd rolls onto his side, propping himself up on his arm to really look at you as you look through your grocery bag of loot deciding which of the drinks you brought up you want to drink.
"I meant invite people to hang out real late." You stop your search to look down at him and find your words caught somewhere between your heart and your throat. Not like this. You want to say. Not for this reason. But instead you shrug and try to offer a bottle he doesn't take. You aren't avoiding the question tonight. "Ya gotta have done something for fun, right?"
"Sometimes I'd walk around a store or something." It's weird explaining stuff to a merman, sometimes they get what you're trying to say but other times they come back with "so it's like that time Jade and I got caught chasing a dolphin around the school playground and got yelled at for tying him up in seaweed" and you just have to smile and say "yeah totally" because what the hell. You're pretty sure it's not but you lack all sorts of context to try and make him understand. "Or we'd sneak out and just drive around and talk about stuff. There's- not a bunch of exciting things I know how to do I guess." If this was a normal night Floyd would roll his eyes and lie back down, whine about that's why you always make him do all the work because shrimpies have shit for brains and his plans are always so much better.
But he doesn't. He reaches over and tugs on your leg, gently enough that you can run away if you want but clear in his desire to have you closer. So you move, expecting his hand to drop but it doesn't, not until he settles his head in your lap and he physically can't keep it there anymore.
"Ya ever talk about things that matter with those guppies?" Maybe he's homesick and that's why he's so focused on this. "Things that make ya miss them?" Maybe he's just projecting that onto you since he knows you will listen and be nice about it. But then his hand reaches up and turns your head so you can look him in his eyes. They're glowing, you barely realize your own hand going to cup Floyd's cheek before he moves his other to keep it from going. "You ever miss one of em in particular?"
"Not really." How could you when Floyd looks like this? "It'd be nice to see my friends again, sure, but it's not like there's one specific person I miss." Floyd lets out a breath that it sounds like he has been keeping in for a long, long time. His hands both fall to his side as he lets you look away in embarrassment, wiggling in slight happiness when you choose to rest your hands on his shoulders.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Floyd's voice sounds sleepy and oddly content. Your eyes immediately snap back to him, but he isn't looking at you now. There is a a slight red tinge to his ears that makes you laugh quietly as you run a finger over the shell of one. So that's what this is about.
"It's always beautiful with you around Floyd." And finally he is looking at you with a smile.
When He Breaks (2 weeks later):
When you gave Floyd a guest key to Ramshackle he'd been extremely happy. Sure he'd acted like it was no big deal in front of you, beyond a few teasing comments about how buttering him up wouldn't get you anywhere unless you put it in writing. But back at his dorm he had been beyond insufferable, obsessing over just what color thread he should attach to it (purple for the sea witch, teal for the eel, or grey for ramshackle? decisions decisions), wanting to keep it close at all times until he had an excuse to replace it with you.
Because that's what he needed right? An excuse? Floyd wasn't exactly... shy in showering you with his affections but you. You. Until that stupid conversation on the roof a month ago you had always been sort of shy about it, if not outright dismissive. He assumed it was because you just didn't reciprocate but now...
"Floyd?" You can't really remember the last time he knocked, even before you gave him the key he sort of just let himself in. But today he knocked, only once and waited for you to open the door in eerie silence. Even when Floyd was coming over because he was bored he still managed to drag himself through the door or a window if he was so inclined.
So why not today?
"Not having a good day?" You try softly, he walks into your lounge with an eerie quiet about him. The last time you saw him something very nice happened, so you can't exactly say you are too worried but. It still sucks to see someone you care about in distress.
"Kinda." Floyd doesn't look like he had much of a plan now that he's in your dorm. "Had a lot on my mind is all."
"Aw that's no fun." You both stand doing nothing for what feels like an hour but you're sure is only a few seconds. "Do you uh want to talk about it?"
"..." And just like that Floyd feels really silly. He wanted to see you so that's why he came, but he wants to be as far away from these painful feelings as possible. "I kind of want to take a nap."
"Oh?" You don't sound surprised, but are clearly confused. Floyd begins to head towards the guest room without looking back. The guest room feels like you just enough that it can soothe his longing and distance himself from his internal conflict. "Would you like to use my room?" Or he could just not be allowed to distance himself at all because you could just say- "I've got some stuff to do but I can join you af-"
"Are you fucking serious." Floyd's voice is dangerously low and he is dangerously close to your face like you have said something wrong. "Look Shrimpy-" He swallows, like he's really considering what it is he has to say so he breathes and just goes for it "Yuu. You're killin me with this. Humans are already so fucking confusing. I give ya a shell and you get all cold for a week, and now, now you wanna sleep with me?" He pouts at you, like your suggestion had been scandalous. "'s like you think we're together or something."
"... we're not?" That's the only thing you can think to say even though the fact you have to say it answers the question for you.
"No?" Now Floyd sounds confused. "Ya- you can't do this to meeeeeeee." Despite his protests he seems just fine with grabbing onto you and dragging you into an embrace and resting his cheek on your head so you can't see his face anymore. "There's supposed to be a process to these things ya know? I'm supposed to give you gifts, and then you're supposed to give me some back and then I tell you I love you but every time I tried that I said something stupid instead. Like 'oh wow the moon looks beautiful tonight or some shit." He huffs and he puffs and he waits for you to say something. But you don't, you take a deep breath.
And laugh.
"Is this fucking funny to you?" Floyd is taken so a back he lets go of you only to find you laughing harder. You stand and reach to cup his face. Floyd doesn't like being squeezed, but there's something about the light squish you give to his cheeks that he likes, he likes a lot.
"No- well maybe a little bit. It's just, I knew. I knew what you were trying to say." Yuu says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, like it's something Floyd should have known all along. "I owe you an apology, I should have asked, made sure you knew. In my world, it's sometimes considered too forward to say 'I love you' so instead..." You close the distance between you once more, leaving just enough room that Floyd can back away from you if he wants, "instead we say 'the moon looks beautiful tonight.'" Floyd takes in a deep, deep breath and you wait. The anger and frustration slowly fades as he exhales, shoulders sagging as he searches your face for signs.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." He says it slowly, voice dipping low with the same strange gravity it had the first time he said it.
"It does, doesn't it?" You smile, and Floyd finally reaches for you, arms wrapped much more loosely than you ever thought possible.
"You're really mean sometimes ya know that." As if he doesn't find that attractive.
Kalim
What He Says:
Sometimes you worry about Kalim. He has this way of talking about things that, if it had been anyone else who said it, should be a major cause for concern. But because Kalim seems relatively happy most all of the time and has a family with a bunch of money no one really makes much of a fuss about it.
So when he says, off handedly, completely as a joke, that you should listen to his worries sometimes you don't give him a chance to play it off. You sit up from where you had been lying down in the Scarabia Lounge and move just a bit closer to where Kalim is relaxing so he can see how serious you are.
"Of course you can talk to me if you have worries." Your voice must have been abnormally serious because Kalim doesn't respond immediately. At first you wonder if the noise of the party behind you had somehow drowned out what you said but then you see Kalim's face. He looks conflicted, as if there is something he desperately wants to say, but instead he looks at you with a smile.
"I don't really have any." But he doesn't laugh when he says it, not that he sounds unhappy exactly just thoughtful. He doesn't move away from you either.
"Even if it's something you think might be silly," you say slowly forcing yourself to continue even as Kalim looks away "of if you're able to dismiss them. If something makes you sad for even a moment, you can tell me. I won't offer my opinion if that's not something you want, or won't help, I can still listen."
"You're really insistent about this huh?" Kalim sits up now too and you turn to look up at the stars decorating Scarabia's night sky. You wonder briefly about how exactly they might have gotten that to work when he says it. "The moon is beautiful tonight." He sounds so wistful but it's gone in a blink as he reaches for your hand and doesn't let you respond to his admission. "C'mon! Let's take the magic carpet and get a better look." You try to contain your excitement as he lets you lace your fingers together and doesn't even try to let go.
What He Breaks (1 week later):
Technically, Kalim isn't the one who breaks. He notices, of course he notices, the way you are more comfortable in seeking him out. How comfortable you now are with his casual touches, how willing you are to hold his hand and even give it a little squeeze. It's heaven, like he found the treasure cave the Sorcerer of the Sands had searched so long for. If it was up to him he would have let it go a little longer.
But it isn't exactly up to him, it never is. Not that Jamil looks angry exactly, but then again as Kalim has come to accept he's not the best at reading his moods.
"I thought you said you weren't going to ask Yuu out?" No Jamil sounds confused and Kalim fidgets with his bracelet under his questioning stare because he knows what he's about to say will probably actually make him mad.
"I didn't." Jamil takes a deep breath and Kalim immediately waves his hands to try and soothe him. "Promise! I remember everything you said about wanting to know and I agree it's just... are you sure you aren't misreading things? That Yuu isn't just... comfortable around me now?"
"... it's always a possibility given just how weird the prefect can be, but no. I'm pretty sure you must have said something that's given them the wrong impression." Jamil sighs and rubs his chin thoughtfully. "It's going to be awkward, but you should probably clear things up with them and tell them how you really feel."
"You mean tell them I'm not allowed to-"
"Like I said before," Jamil actually smiles now, and Kalim really hopes it's real "it's not my place to tell you who you can and cannot date. Sure your parents might have an idea about what they want you to do, but you and I know that a political marrige would never really work for you. It's just not how you're built." And with that he leaves Kalim to his thoughts.
~~~~
"Have you ever considered throwing smaller parties?"
"Haha this is a smaller party~ I only invited you and your freshmen friends." So Kalim says and so you see, but you suppose everything Kalim does comes from a rather skewed sense of small. It's nice to look out on though, Ace is amusing one of your other classmates with his card tricks while Jack and Deuce take turns at arm wrestling. Epel even manged to get Sebek to participate in something, though he might have regretted making it an eating contest. And above it all, tucked away in a little alcove, Kalim rests his head on your shoulder and hums along with the music playing through his dormitory loudspeakers. It feels domestic in a way despite the grandiose display around you.
"It's very nice Kalim." You lean your head on top of his and he sighs in contentment. "But you said there was a worry you wanted to tell me about?"
"Mhm. I'm worried I said something accidentally that made you realize that I liked you." If he wasn't holding you so intimately his words would have been like ice water over your self confidence. You still cringe and Kalim laughs slightly, happily holding you just a bit closer. "Hey I didn't say that I don't like you, I just want to make sure you understand what that means. I could put you in a lot of danger you know?"
"More than half a dozen overblots?" You lightly joke but Kalim just hugs you a little harder at the thought. "We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, it doesn't make me love you any less. After all," you press a gentle kiss to his forehead and smile as he shakes in happiness "the moon looks beautiful tonight." Kalim gives a little gasp.
"Oh that's a wonderful way to say it!"
Jamil
What He Says:
"I get that your world is a bit behind ours because it doesn't have magic, but really?" Jamil's voice lacks the usual venom that would accompany his teasing if he hadn't been the one to propose this idea. "Wanting to make a mix tape has got to make you practically per-historic." You try to suppress your own smile as you watch him work from across the floor.
"I prefer vintage." Your smile breaks free as Jamil finally laughs, you wonder if he knows just how beautiful he is as he swipes a misbehaving hair out of his eyes and gives his stereo another once over. "I'll have you know making mixtapes have a long and storied tradition in my world." You keep some of the possible implications to yourself, and try to pretend the concept hasn't been swirling around in you brain since he first suggested this. "Why aren't you using magic to clean it?"
"Because I get to keep you here longer." The words dance on the tip of his tongue and he forces them away with a smile.
"It's old, and I don't really want to go searching for a new one if I break something." The lie has just enough of a trace of truth to fool you, but Jamil isn't one for taking chances. "Aren't you supposed to be looking for stuff you like? You won't get that by staring at me."
"Not like I'm going to find anything till your done cleaning." You snort and finally take your distracting eyes away from him and direct them to his tapes. "I don't know any of this stuff." But you can still tell this collection is pretty impressive. Some of the tapes look newer, but there are others that while well cared for are clearly old. Album art featuring sandy landscapes and people posing is sandwiched between vaporwave cartoons and aesthetically confusing 3-d models. This belongs to Jamil so you have a feeling it's organized, but you can't tell how. Not that he leaves you wondering for long lightly taps your nose with a new cotton swab and nudges your pouting face towards a specific section of the box.
"Here, I set some aside based off the kind of music you said you liked." And some that just reminded him of you, but that's nothing you need to know, yet if ever. "Anything else you can think of?"
"Do you have any songs about the moon?" The question pops out of your mouth before the thought that birthed it is fully formed, making you stumble over your explanations. "Yeah go ahead and laugh there's just... this one song I miss." It makes you think of him, from the few words you can remember. You've written it down again and again to try and make sure you don't forget them, but the tune has begun escaping you; much like all your memories of home will one day be fragmented, not that the reality makes it hurt any less. "I'm worried I'll forget what my moon looks like." Jamil's amused confusion remains, but his eyes soften in response to your distress.
"Is there a specific reason you need the song? Yo- The moon is beautiful tonight, do you need the exact song to see it?" Jami
"N-no." Your voice shakes. Neither of you move to look away, what gives you the strength to move yourself to sit next to him you don't know. But he doesn't move away and you let out a deep breath from sheer and relief and joy. "I think I'll be able to see it just fine next to you."
What He Breaks (two months later):
Things have been going missing from Jamil's room lately. Nothing he actually needs really, the sort of little things you would take if you were really desperate to remember the feel of a person. The sort of things you would take if you were dating that person, which isn't at all the thought he would have had if he didn't know who was taking them. Not that Jamil could come up with a reason for Yuu to be taking these things, his first thought had been to take something of Yuu's the next time he visited Ramshackle, but that seemed to make you happy. "Fair game" he'd thought. "I want an excuse to see you and you want an excuse to see me."
Still he wasn't prepared for this.
"Jamil!" there is something refreshing about how calm your happiness is. You've always had a way of extending that calm to him, wrapping him in it and allowing him some space to breathe. But today, today. Today the Ramshackle Prefect has decided that he wasn't allowed peace, because yesterday they had stolen his sweatshirt, and today they have decided to wear it. "Everything ok?
"ha." Jamil wants to tug the hood of his dorm uniform over his head. He wants to run, he wants to shake you, he wants to scream. He wants to do a three act play complete with an interpretive dance because that would be easier than trying to speak. But he has to, because there's only so many deep breaths he can take before you reach out to make sure he's ok. So he takes your hand in his as you do and places it directly over his heart. "You know," for some reason he finds it easier to smile now that you know how nervous he is "you can't have taken that without knowing what people might say."
"Oh I don't know." You smile and bring yourself into his space, that strange calm he finds in your happiness begins to weave itself around him again. "Maybe I wanted to clear some things up. Make it good and clear where I belong." Jamil takes another deep breath, your arms go around him and he makes sure to look long and good into your eyes to make sure there isn't a shred of a crimson glow. That this is something you have decided of your own free will and not a dream or an accident involving magic.
"I never properly asked you out..." Technically he never asked you out at all, but Jamil would rather die than say that out loud. Maybe sometime long long in the future when he's ready to laugh at it and not now when he needs you to confirm that's what you thought he did in the first place.
"Oh! That's not-" You bury your face in his chest with a light laugh and he tries not to die in the time between the seconds until you respond. "I was so happy to hear you say the moon line it didn't really occur to me you might be worried about that."
"Who wouldn't?" Not that he's worried now, every other possibility has been ruled out so he can say exactly what he's been wanting to for so long. "Will you be mine?"
"I already was." It sounds so much better outloud than he could have ever dreamed.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#“Or not please not actually” did something to my brain#such a nice way of phrasing that ur mind
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How I Think The Obey Me Dateables + Co Would React to The Rumours™️

Summary: Rumours have been floating around the Devildom. Rumours about a certain Angel and Sorcerer...how will the demon brothers react? Word Count: funny joke! Content Warnings: nothing i dont think Disclaimer: This will probably not make a lot of sense unless you've read this fic here for context, but ykw life doesnt make sense you do you <3
[Brothers Version]
dividers by @cafekitsune
You had left the Sorcerers' Society feeling quite flustered, but also extremely pleased with yourself. Take that Solomon. You grin. In all the excitement of the following days, you'd forgotten about the rumour you had accidentally spread around the Devildom. Perhaps you shouldn't've pretended to be Archangel Michael to gain entry....
💙💚BARBATOS💚💙
Finds out about the rumours relatively quickly, Little D No.2 sees him nearly dropping a plate before catching it with his tail. He was sworn to secrecy.
Poor Little D No.2
His first thought is shock, his second thought is.
'What did you do MC?'
smiling he dials your number on his DDD.
You were in the middle of doing homework, or rather, sitting at your desk staring at your homework when Barbatos called. "Hiya Barbs!" You grin into your DDD. "Hello MC." You can hear the Butler's smile through the phone. "What's got you calling Barbie?" "There have been some rumours of a certian bastard sorcerer and Archangel in a romantic relationship...you wouldn't happen to know anything of it?" You laugh. "My assassination attempt went wrong." Barbatos lets out a small chuckle along with you. "I can't say Solomon doesn't deserve it." You pause. "Barbs?" "Yes, MC?" "Would you maybe wanna...go to the next Devildom Carnival with me?" You mumble into the phone, but he catches it. Thankfully, he was feeling nice, and did not teasingly ask you to repeat it. "Of course I would MC," Barbatos tone softens, smile visible in his voice. "Perhaps you can tell me more of this assassination attempt going aray?" "It'd be my pleasure Barbie."
❤️❤️DIAVOLO❤️❤️
Barbatos tells him.
Remember the sticker incident? Yeah. Diavolo laughs when he hears about it
This could be a great help in uniting the 3 realms!!!
And hey, if someone commissions Asmo to make stickers of Michael x Solomon, dont look at Diavolo who is very suspiciously whistling innocently.
"Hi Asmo!" Lord Diavolo steps out from the shadows. Asmodeus shrieks, loosing all colour in his face before gaining it back again and grinning excitedly." Diavolo! What are you doing in my room?~" Diavolo shooshes him, pale golden eyes widening as he looks around the Avatar of Lust's room. "Not so loud." After deeming it safe enough, the Demon Prince continues, "I snuck away from Barbatos" Asmo makes a noise of understanding, he looks up at the other through foxlike eyes. "So what can I do for you Dia? ~" The Prince smiles ear to ear. "Remember the stickers you made of me and Lucifer. Well, I'd like to commission something." Asmodeus gasps excitedly, moving a stray champagne coloured lock from his forehead, he grabs his bejeweled pen and journal. "Of course! We can discuss pricing later on! First things first! What would you like?~" "Well..." Diavolo lets out a booming laugh, "Maybe something quite similar to the stickers of me and Lucifer, except with Michael and Solomon?" Asmodeus sets his pen and sketchbook down, looking up at the Devildom's present goofball and future ruler. "Y'know what, Diavolo?" He smirks mischievously. "It's on the house." Diavolo pouts, "At least let me buy you Majolish's new line of clothes." "Awww!~ If I had a ring that I didn't want to keep for myself I'd propose to you!~" Diavolo laughs. These stickers were going to be amazing.
🩷🩷THIRTEEN 🩷🩷
Haha L Solomon
Knows it's fake from the moment she hears it.
Upset she didn't think to start it....but when she finds out from Satan you had a hand in it?
Damn bbg she's about to have your hand in marriage😏
You were just trying to walk home from RAD, having finally gotten a moment of peace from your idiots when an extremely loud 'VROOOM' startles you. A black motorcycle with pink accents traverses the streets of the Devildom like it's attempting to audition for Fast and Furious, before going rogue and coming straight towards you. Scared, you start to sprint, alas, even as an angel,you can't outrun motorcycles. You don't wanna die! The mystery rider drives beside your sprinting, catching up to you before reaching their leather gloved hands out and; YOINK! The motorcyclist pulls you flush against their chest, holding you there with one arm as they use the other to steer. You've been kidnapped by a motorcyclist who thinks they're in GTA. Great. Being kidnapped by a crazed motorcyclist before GTA 6....actually, maybe this was GTA 6. "As much as I'd love to hear your screams in a different context MC, can you stop screaming?" A voice asks through the Motorcycle helmet, you immediately stop squirming to get out of the Motorcyclist's arms. "Thirteen?!" She laughs, "Awww, I love it when you say my name!" You drive in relative silence for a while until she reaches a small cafe. She stops the bike and takes her helmet off, her long ombre hair is tied in a ponytail, she takes out the bauble and lets it fall down. Bloodied emerald eyes lock onto yours as she pulls you in for a kiss. "What's this about you dying and not giving me your soul...." She says in mock sadness before jumping off of the motorcycle, helping a dazed you to your feet. "No bother!" She flirts, tucking a stray hair away from your face, "You can just give me your soul, and your heart, and your body, and your mind!" You blush. "W-why are you in the Devildom Tee?" "Well a certain someone-" She pinches your cheek, "made up a fabulous rumour about that Rat-Bastard! So I'm here to give them a lovely little dinner date and my hand in marriage as a reward!" "Excuse me? Could you repeat that?!" You ask, heart racing. Thirteen just laughs and gives you a kiss that leaves you breathless, a soft blush of her own showing up on her porcelain skin. You walked out of your impromptu unofficial kidnapping dinner date a married MC. Time to go to Vegas to make it official!
💜💜MEPHISTOPHELES💜💜
The man found out because you told him.
He is not impressed. Couldn't you have made up a rumour about Lucifer dating someone?!
No MC, this is a serious newspaper! He is not posting gossip. Or advertising fanfictions. Especially ones with a name like that!
What do you mean Lord Diavolo would 'want you to do it, Mephisto!!' are you trying to emotionally blackmail him?!
"Pleaseeeee!" "No." You try again. "Mephisto pleaseeeeeee?" He gives you a rather rude look. Damn, rich people really were good at looking at people like they were dirt on their shoes. "I won't ask for anything ever again!" "You will, and the answer is still no MC." He glares at you. Pear green eyes filled with annoyance. "The RAD newspaper is sacred! I'm not posting fanfiction on there! We are a serious organisation!" "You post popularity polls." You deadpan. "This is why I hate rich people." "Let me go wipe my tears with my various stacks of grimm lying around. Speaking of which, how did you get into my house, MC?" You grin sheepishly. "No comment!" "MC." "Your little brother let me in! He's very nice, unlike you! Now please I'm begging you!" Mephisto raises an eyebrow. "You don't look like you're begging." "I'm not getting down on my knees. I'm going to piss in your cereal." Mephistopheles scoffs. "I don't eat cereal. That's poor people behaviour." You sniffle, deciding that the best course of action would be to annoy him. "You know, you're acting like Lucifer right now! Not letting me post this in the Newspaper." Mephisto waggles his finger at you, "Send me a Devilmail of what you want included later." "Yay!" You cheer. Satan was going to be so happy when he found out you managed to get your fanfic mentioned in the RAD Newspaper!
🩵🩵SIMEON 🩵🩵
He finds out after you print out the published parts of the fanfiction you and Satan wrote.
He's an author after all! What better person to get constructive criticism from?!
Someone please save this poor man.
Solomon looked up at Michael with dull eyes devoid of emotion, just previously they had shone with tears, now they were just dead. A graveyard of feeling. "Take it back Michael." The sorcerer mutters, but Michael heard him clearly. "What you said about Humankind...take it back!" "It's the truth Solomon!" Michael raises his voice, the rain dropping like bullets against the windows of Cocytus Hall. "I can't do this anymore!" Solomon blurts out, before turning on his heel, cape flapping, as he runs out of the door, into the storm outside, his arms cover tear-stricken his face. "Solomon wait!" Michael races out after him braving the- "MC..." Simeon looks up at you, he takes his reading glasses off and gently sets the paper down, attempting to avoid looking at anything else written on it. "MC, what is this?" "Art." You nod seriously. "It is good writing MC, but, why?" "Why not?" You tilt your head. "With all the love in my heart, darling, I'm forcing myself to forget this story's existence." You pat Simeon's back. "That's probably for the best Simmy."
🤎🤎RAPHAEL 🤎🤎
Solomon? Michael was going out with Solomon?
This worked out great for him actually, this meant he could eat Solomon's food more often. How delicious!
Disappointed when he finds out the rumours aren't true.
"Raphael for the last time, do I look like the type of person that would date Solomon?!" Michael says exasperatedly, covering his face with his hands and fake sobbing. Drama king. "You are a bit odd. Are you sure you're not dating him? I won't judge you, Michael, I respect you a lot." Raphael nods seriously. "I am not dating Solomon." Raphael pouts, "I see. Have you considered dating Solomon?" Michael grabs a pillow and screams into it.
🖤🖤SOLOMON🖤🖤
Finds out through Asmo
Is that a fanficiton, MC?
Two can play at this game.
You enter your room when you feel a hand go over your mouth. You attempt to scream, but seeing as there's a hand over your mouth, it doesn't exactly go very well for you. "Relax Mc, It's just me." You turn your head around to see Solomon and that signature sneaky smile on his face. You scream louder. He chuckles and mutters a few words, all of a sudden you feel very sleepy.... Hours later, you wake up on your bed, now around 3 feet tall and with familiar pink wool, your hands and feet are now hooves, beside you Solomon had been oh so kind as to leave you a note. Cant write Fanfiction if you don't have hands. Jokes on him. You're a co-author.
🩵🤍LUKE🤍🩵
hears some demons talking about it at RAD while he´s in Devildom history
Michael are Solomon are DATING??!!!
LIKE THE THING PEOPLE DO BEFORE THEY GET MARRIED??!!
Michael and Solomon are getting MARRIED??!!
Is Solomon his dad now?
Luckily for Luke and Unluckily for Michael, Michael is still in the Devildom, so when Luke gets home, he goes to ask Michael about it.
Sounds of sizzling and chopping can be heard from the kitchen in Purgatory Hall, and thankfully, it's not Solomon. Michael hums as he expertly dices the onions up and puts them into the blender with the tomatoes, broccoli and cauliflower. His long golden hair had been haphazardly thrown into a plait, small curls that didn't feel like conforming popping out here and there, sauce stains found themselves a home on his dark skin, he stuck his tongue out in concentration. Frozen meatballs had been left out to thaw, and now the Archangel was making the vegetables in the sauce so they'd undetectable to a certain fussy young angel. "Michael?" The young angel in question calls out in the doorway resulting in Michael exclaiming something that sounded like 'GAH!' and attempting to hide Luke's view of the blender. "Hiya Lukey!" Michael grins awkwardly. "What's up with you today? Haha." Now long used to Michael's strangeness, Luke pays it no mind. "Michael, I have a question." The archangel turns the various pans on the stove to the lowest heat before sitting on a stool on the kitchen island and pulling Luke up to sit on his knee. "What's up Kiddo?" He grins, tilting his head at the boy. Luke fiddles with his thumbs, his blue eyes meeting Michael's red ones. "Is it true you and Solomon are getting married?" Michael's smile drops. He pats Luke's blond hair, "No Lukey, me and Solomon are not getting married, nor are we in a relationship." Luke's face flushes, he clenches his tiny fists. "Those demons! Making up lies!" Michael shakes the image of you from his mind. "Yeah. Demons. Yup!"
lads im gonna be honest here i havent met mephsitles or hwoever u spell it a lot in game (as well as thirteen and raphael) so apologies if theyre really ooc😰
#obey me imagines#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me x reader#omswd#obey me mc#obey me michael#obey me thirteen#obey me thirteen x reader#obey me diavolo#obey me asmodeus#obey me barbatos#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me luke#obey me mephisto x mc#obey me mephisto#obey me solomon#obey me raphael#obey me simeon
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okayyyy ive been meaning to talk about this moment forever because i think the way i see it differs from a lot of general fandom opinion.
for context, this is from the dhc section of the dead apple manga. skk are talking about an executive who just died and dazai makes a joke about it, prompting chuuya to deck him in the face and say nobody could believe dazais human. (believe, very importantly. not that he Isnt, just that its unbelievable).
humanity is a key theme to all of bsd, but its Very explicitly central to the skk dynamic. chuuya is an intensely human character in the way that he acts and thinks, and yet! between his ability and ofc the history in the lab, it still gets called into question.
(its pretty solid that our chuuyas the real one, but thats not the point here. sb being an exploration of what it means to be human and whether Actually Being One is all that important to what you are and do, through a Distinctly human character- Thats the point. How you are being more important than what you are.)
then we have dazai on the other hand, where what he is doesnt come into question at all. Even his ability, despite its name, isnt dehumanising to an outside eye, compared to chuuyas corruption or atsushis tiger for example that can take away from their control of themselves. its the how he is, in contrast to chuuya, that comes into question with dazai. he very consistently holds himself outside of humanity both implicitly (through self isolation - shipping container being an extreme example) and explicitly (dead apple dazai talking about humanity as an Outside Observer. he is Not including himself as one of them).
When we are encouraged to doubt his humanity, its dazai Telling us to. he deliberately poses himself as inhuman because he FEELS it. and the dhc moment to me has always felt like chuuya seeing through it and calling his bullshit. Dazais making light of a death to be a dick, to push chuuyas buttons, but also because hes got this constant need to present the worst possible version of himself.
actually if you look at the panels of him when hes talking about the guy being dead, just before he gets dramatic ridiculous exaggerated dazai about it, he doesnt seem to think of it so lightly


(smthn smthn dazai imposter syndrome. the need to deny any of his more human qualities because he feels they dont Fit him. and the links w his questions to atsushi at the beginning and end, his bs 'do i really seem like the type of guy to do x thing'.)
chuuya says hes acting inhuman, that his humanity isnt something people will believe because of the way he ACTS. and then chuuya does an example of his own Chuuya Humanity Act, an act of service for the people he cares about in the form of going to solve the situation himself. AND. ultimately, dazai ends up planning around this later to lead chuuya straight to him so the two of them can deal with it together.
skk pretty consistently ground eo to humanity. dazai through nullification/corruption, but outside of their abilities too (its the thought of dazai - more specifically, not thinking like him - that stops chuuya from killing N in stormbringer and denying verlaines assertion that he shouldnt have been born). and on the flipside, chuuya is part of the reason dazai doesnt khs during or after fifteen. dazais protecting people thing really starts out with chuuya. and again, chuuya makes it his business to call dazai on his shit. (even right the way back in chapter 31 of the main manga, we have that interaction over Q, with dazai saying he spared them only for self serving logical reasons, and chuuya saying he doesnt buy it).
this to me has always felt like part of that. its not 'youre not human', its 'the way you act makes it unbelievable that you are'. its an invitation to prove he is by doing something Real, something worth more than sleeping there til he dies.
and dazai does.
#theres also something to be said abt the fact that chuuya only even has the chance to refute dazai calling himself human bc dazai is talking#abt both of them. im human TOO. theres no reason to have added that#dazai just quite consistently calls chuuya human even when it makes his speech kinda clunky#idk just smt ive found interesting that i will continue reading probably too much into.#but yeah!! chuuya dazai!humanity denialisms are not quite what people seem to be agreed upon? at least thats not how the scene reads to me#certainly not in the context of dead apple as a whole or just. the skk dynamic as a whole.#but yk🤷♀️ maybe i am reading things with my insane goggles on#soukoku#skk#analysis#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#bsd and humanity
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revelation ramblings 🔥🔥 spoiler warning jf you hadnt seen the comic yet btw!!
OK I HAVE WOKEN UP AND IS ENERGIZED NOW im so happy to have that part done ... im worried that the way ive paced things is confusing so just a quick summary !! after volo confessed his true intentions to emmet, emmet knocked him out cold, took the plates, and left to return to nimbasa (all after returning the plates ofc...)
it was sort of a wake up call to him, and hes realizing how reckless and stubborn hes been since ingo disappeared. not only had he been succumbing to plenty of vices, he also left the region to join some stranger on a quest to summon arceus 😭😭😭 like YEAH emmets going to need to pull the brakes ... he lied to himself, trying to convince himself that ingo truly is gone so he could return to his normal life. and it worked!
unfortunately all in the background, volo began collecting the plates again. it leads to REVELATION 1, where volo reveals that he did it all for emmet ...
the actual horror in emmets face is killing me ... realizing that volo didnt do this for himself or for anyone. he did it because he loves emmet, and believes this is the best for him.

(and could you say that volo was wrong? emmet had been lying to himself for a year ... yes, hes gotten back on routine, but theres always going to be a missing part of him since ingos disappearance...)

now, there are obviously other ways to go about 'saving' your situationship, but volo doesnt believe that he could be anything other than evil. i think thats the religious guilt/trauma he has ... he can never ever be anything, even if he so badly want to be better

emmet begging him to return him so they can talk and fix things and ... live normally together ... in volos eyes, he could never have any of this
hes the villain in the story, and he has to go through with his plans. at the very least, he could bring ingo back on the way.
and the fact that volos definition of a perfect world included him never meeting emmet and 'hurting him' ...

even volo himself doesnt support trainwreckshipping ever coming together LMFAO ... still, its verrry sad ... but it rings true in some ways ... they had their moments, but ultimately, volo did lie and manipulate emmet; even if emmet was well aware of this ... so if you still hate volo despite this, thats completely understandable! i want ppl to know that while im providing context to his issues, hes still a piece of shit LOL ...
on the next part, we'll potentially meet arceus ... i wonder how thats going to go ...
i wanna thank everyone for following so far! this is the closest ive come to finishing a series ... its fragmented, messy, and uploaded in the wrong order, so it means a lot that ppl are able to follow ...
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do you think it's worth it being nonbinary if you dont have like, body/physical dysphoria? Ive been identifying as nonbinary since i was 14 and when i was in high school it was great, i had my little liberal bubble queer friend group, and the rest of the school didnt pay much attention to me. My mom accepted me in the "i dont get it but whatever i dont want you to stop talking to me so i guess ill go along with it" sense, which while not perfect, its fine. But last september i started studying engineering and. Its really not going well. Like 85% of my classmates are straight guys and they range from thinking nonbinary people are cringe (and therefore they make fun of me when i walk by) to being extremely transphobic (im very scared of some of them.) And ive been trying to make friends with the girls in my class, and some of them are nice, but i can tell they also dont like that im nonbinary. One of them literally told me "i get that being a woman is hard, i dont like having periods or the ways guys look at me either, but you dont gain anything by denying yourself". So. I kind of think about that nearly every night now. Doubting whether im really nonbinary. And it really doesnt help knowing that basically every girl here either thinks that or just straight up thinks im gross and weird, ive literaly heard one of them go 'what is THAT doing in the womens' when i walked past her from the bathroom. I dont like going to class much.
Im thinking of detransisioning, i guess. I never started taking hormones (good luck getting those in eastern europe lol), so I could easily start looking like a cis girl again. These will be my coworkers and bosses, i cant live like this until i retire. i want to have fun uni experiences too. And ive been thinking so much lately about why im even doing this. Its just a few words that people call me by. Theres nonbinary people who use binary pronouns and pass as cis, i could be one of them and just not tell anyone that im actually nb. but on the other hand, it feels like im giving up on the trans community if i do this. Giving up on activism. Im sure im not the only one in this situation, if i detransition ill be letting them down completely. I dont want the next generation to be as fucked as this one. Also i came out very publicly to my entire class (i wanted to find other queer people to be friends with, i hoped that would do the trick maybe. I was so naive and stupid) and it will be so fucking humiliating to go back on that and im scared ill do all that and theyll keep treating me the same anyways because im already "tainted" by transness. So i would let so many people down for nothing.
The one other trans friend from my high school friend group solved this issue by paying more than ten fucking thousand euros per year to study in the netherlands btw. The exchange rate to our currency makes it somehow even worse than it sounds. Hes probably going to be able to start taking hormones before he gets his bachelors. I wish my mom was that rich :|
First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry anon that you are facing so much fucking exclusion and harassment. That kind of treatment pushes a lot of trans people into detransitioning, and it is brutal, and that this experience can happen to nonbinary people who are not on hormones but have otherwise transitioned is something that does not get acknowledged enough.
I can't tell you what you should do in your situation, because no outcome is great. But I think you might find some elements of this article from Kier Adrian Grey on ceasing their use of they/them pronouns (among the cis public!) interesting. They're an "ex anarchist" and a bit of an anti social justice dogma kinda person so I don't agree with them on many things, but I did like this point that they made:
"Hear me out: maybe the best way to understand they/them pronouns, within the context of a pluralistic democracy, is as a subcultural norm, a way for LGBT people to show respect for one another within our community. That sense of belonging I felt when I first found queer spaces was profound, and if using gender-neutral pronouns gives someone that gift, I am all for it. "But I do wonder if we are setting people up for hardship when we tell them that they should hope for, expect, or insist on they/them pronouns being used by everyone they encounter, and that they will be emotionally injured every time this fails to happen. In my thirteen years, misgendering was rarely malicious, and yet it still fed into a wounded identity and a suspicious worldview."
I don't think that what Kier has written about their experience applies to even most nonbinary people, and if taken too prescriptively by the wrong people it could be an awful dysphoria cope that leads a person to some pretty dark places. But! For someone whose feelings about it all are like Kier's, and whose life experiences have given them similar perspective, I think there is something to it. It's true that thinking a great deal about how one is gendered by others is crazy making and sometimes isolating, and if that's the sole way in which one's transness interfaces with the world, it's not always to the person's net benefit.
Here's the full piece:
I will say that based on all you had to say, anon, it would be a lot better for you if you could get around a lot of queer and trans people! What you're struggling with is not being seen and appreciated for who you are, and all the cis people undermining you are driving you crazy and making you doubt yourself. I'd MUCH prefer if you could find more local queer community or relocate if necessary to feel more appreciated as you are.
BUT if you find yourself resonating with this author's points and it feels like only being out to other trans and queer people would be good for you, that is okay to do. That isn't "detransitioning," it's being choosy about whom you trust. And many of us navigate those decisions. I'm not out as trans to everyone I meet! Most people just think I'm a cis guy. The big difference between you and me is that I have medically transitioned (and if you want to, I recommend ordering some hormones on India Mart!!!). You have some choices here about how much information you give to other people, how much you trust people who are incredibly ignorant, how much you will expose yourself to harm by making requests for treatment that might not happen, and how to build the community you need to survive this awful transphobic reality.
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my favorite customer service story to share with people. context: one time my department had a woman who came to pick her order up and stayed in her car waiting during an ACTIVE TORNADO WATCH. then she had the audacity to bitch out my coworkers saying that she was scared and in danger and waiting for her groceries outside. our store was on lockdown which meant even the customers in the store had all been siphoned into the back room to wait it out. this is insane in itself
this same woman came back eventually on one of Those Days. we were running a crumbling department with 4 entire people total. EVERYTHING was overdue. NO managers present. such is the nature of walmart OPD. i was coming back from speedrunning a pick walk. for those of you that are blessed enough to not work at walmart and therefore dont know what that means: i was one of if not the ONLY person running around on the salesfloor gathering up peoples groceries for their orders that night. my girlfriend (who worked at the same store in the same department as me at the time) comes running up to me bug-eyed saying "hey theres a lady in the back room yelling at us i dont know what to do." id had it up to about mount everest due to the circumstances and due to being the guy whos always put in charge whenever those circumstances arise despite the fact that i am not being paid shit to do it. so i was like "ℑ 𝔚𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢 ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔒𝔣 ℑ𝔱" smiling like a chimpanzee on the verge of murderous frenzy
lo and behold: i walk into my back room and there she is. the customer is searching through other peoples orders throwing groceries and totes onto the floor and throwing an absolute tantrum. im like "what are you back here for" and shes like "IM HERE FOR MY FUCKING ORDER IVE BEEN WAITING OUTSIDE FOR XYZ MINUTES." so im like "LOOK at the state of this back room. LOOK at how few employees are here. we dont have your order ready because there are literally FOUR OF US here right now. if you want to fix your wait time then you can apply and you can do the job then" which utterly baffled her because as i approached she was like "what the fuck are you talking about? are you trying to FIGHT me?" and i was like ".... No" as it was taking me all of my strength to not completely lose it
at this point my girlfriend ran off to grab one of our stores security guards (which is another can of worms entirely) because if a customer hits you and you hit back in self defense that does mean you lose your job unfortunately. one of my coworkers steps in and also starts telling the customer that she cant be in our back room. she starts ranting and raving and saying "DONT TELL ME MY ORDER IS READY WHEN IT ISNT" so i was like "(gritting my teeth) we have no control over that. thats the SYSTEM telling you that were done PICKING the order. that doesnt mean its ready to be picked up. we are JUST employees making minimum wage" in my desperate attempt at trying to make a customer realize that there are humans who have to do this stupid job to get her her stupid groceries. took a lot of work but eventually me and my coworker ended up corralling her out of the back room and she yelled at us the whole way out name-calling us threatening to call management on us saying she would never come back yknow the works
finally the security guard shows up to make sure were all okay and to figure out what just happened. the night ended and it was horrible and i had walked almost 26,000 steps that day. of course i havent seen her since then thank christ. i do tell this story to every new employee who asks about our worst customers and it scares the shit out of them every time. if you use walmarts grocery pickup and delivery service i am asking you so politely to be kind to the people delivering your groceries or to the employees dispensing them to your car. that is all. THE END
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