#i have my personal opinions on each version but that is maybe for another time

[unknxwn-vxid-vxices]

Baby Saja’s Secret Boyfriend - Hangouts 2 | A4

Author’s Pre-Note: Hey hello everyone how y’all doing… Ik its been a little minute since the last part in this series so Imma make this one extra juicy for y’all, maybe… idk what I’m gonna write about yet but it’ll be good I swear <3 By the way if you haven’t yet seen, my 100+ notes special I mentioned is out now so check out Worthy - Opponents (It is a Genshin fic so sorry if that’s not your tea) anyways let’s get into this part, yeah?

Work Notes/Warnings: Male Reader, OOC Characters, Cursing, No Beta Read

Series Parts: A0, A1, A2, A3, A4 [here], A5, A6

You don’t often feel the need to celebrate something like the start of a rollout. But you guess you can make an exception this one time.

The past couple weeks of getting to know Baby had changed your life in ways you’d never anticipated occurring in your life. I mean who expects to get to know a member of THE KPOP Group after Huntrix right now? Not only that, he’s someone who respects your craft and reached out to you for advice on production, plus he’s teaching you rap skills. There are thousands of people who’d kill for just one of these things that have happened to you. And to top it all off, you’d become somewhat close to him, you guys weren’t updating each other on like every aspect of your personal lives yet, but spending time together outside of work on occasion was slowly becoming more natural. 

“Oh! Yeah. Uh... By the way I’m releasing the first single off my EP next week." You mention in passing to Baby as he steps out of the booth in your recording space. 

Baby pauses in the booth’s doorway with a grin steadily forming on his face. He laughs a little with excitement.

“Finally! Your annoying ass didn’t even give me audio files to add to my playlists, at least now I’ll have something.” Baby says with restrained eagerness in his tone. He strolls over to the chair you’d just bought him, a necessity with how often he was there, and only having one chair for your desk was an inconvenience. Baby’s chair rolls over the rest of the way and bumps into yours gently with dying momentum. 

“Dude. Naming that song and then the others was a literal pain to figure out, and I can’t exactly release a song without a name, that’s not a smart idea generally.” You say to him with a small sigh of lingering frustration from the mental war to come up with a good title. 

“I don’t get why tho, I gave you so many good suggestions...” Baby offers with a sly smile and you groan, reliving the memory of his list of song titles after you let him listen to the earliest version of the complete project. 

“None of those names fit the tracks or project as a whole.” You groan at him but can’t help the smile that graces your face as you recall the moment he presented the list to you. A thoughtful gesture but...

“Not even Azalea Skin?” 

“No. Especially not even that one.” You couldn’t use that title for what was in your opinion the saddest song on the entire EP, especially as it didn’t properly relate to the lyrics or content in your head. 

“Maybe you’re just a hater.” Baby faces you with a bored expression, resting his elbow on the desk to prop his chin on the edge of his palm. 

“I am.” You begin with a grin and soft chuckle as you look over at Baby briefly, catching notice of how he’s watching you.

“Someone’s gotta keep your aquafresh headed ass in check.” You finish and notice Baby shift a little, eyebrows furrowing as he processes your words. 

“...” Baby’s face contorts between different emotions before landing on shock. He scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

“I should’ve never helped you.” Baby mutters but you see the corner of his lips curve into a smile, so faint yet so visible to your eyes. 

You shrug at his faux regret. “Too late to regret it.” Y/n hums glancing over at Baby. Baby shifts his arm away from supporting his chin and instead leans back in his chair, his smile growing slightly more so you smile in turn. After a little while watching one another, you'd had enough of watching Baby, returning to your work and finally beginning to do some mixing on the production to mesh with the vocals Baby just recorded.

You both sit together not saying much, beyond Baby providing input and suggestions as you mix his vocals with the beat and the rest of the song’s production. You eventually finish up the work you’d intended to do with that song, and think about the EP for a moment before turning to Baby. 

“I know you said you don’t care about me giving you credits on anything having to do with the project. But I’d feel bad about not putting you there.” You begin and Baby’s already sighing before looking at you.

“Why’re you fretting so much over something that’s not a big deal?” Baby asks, hitting your arm gently with his phone, then smiling a little. Baby shakes his head, done with your slight apprehensiveness to not including credits to him. 

“Besides. Weren’t you the one worried your streams would come from my fans, and not people who like your music, can’t exactly slap Baby Saja onto the credits discreetly can you?” Baby highlights and you groan. 

“I know. But I was thinking, What if we gave you a pen name, I’m sure you had ideas for a pen name besides Baby Saja. I’ll use one of those instead, so that way you’re credited.” You suggested. Baby went quiet and looked down at his phone and resumed watching videos. 

“Right…” Baby says laughing a little differently than you were accustomed to.

“Your real name is off the table, so come on just give me one to use” You insist and Baby continues softly laughing to himself as though he were in slight discomfort. 

“You good?” You finally question and his eyes widen as though he’d been caught off guard.

“I’m fine. Yeah, just uhm. Can’t think of an appropriate name to use.” Baby’s face swiftly contorts into one of mischief, characterised by a smug smirk. Part of you wants to question what he means by that, but you don't believe the relationship is close enough where you’d wanna push to know. 

“Just… I don’t know. Make up one for me. Yeah do that”

“You want me to make an alias for you?” You pause to think about it, considering all the possibilities and small ways to mess with Baby.

“Alright, but it’s a secret until the song releases.” You offer him. Baby hesitantly nods, clearly cautious of what you may be up to. 

“Whatever, weirdo.” Baby dismisses and refocuses on the video’s he scrolls through with sheer boredom. 

You both remain in the recording space for another hour or two as you finish up a couple of touches for some of the beats you both worked on together. Baby seemed a little more tired today after all of the recording you both did throughout the evening. Soon enough Baby’s falling asleep on himself in his chair, and you realise it's best to call it a night and take him home. You close out of your projects once they’re saved and nudge Baby a little, noticing the peace on his face whilst waiting on him to wake up.

Once Baby’s up you waste no time getting to your car. Once situated, Baby leans his head against the car door, though he tries his best to stay awake for the rest of the car ride.  

“What day next week?” Baby pipes up in a sluggish voice as you wait at a red light. You look over at him.

“What?” You ask in slight confusion at his mumbled words. He pulls his head off the window and meets your gaze slowly.

“The single, when does it release?” He mumbles once more through a yawn.

“Oh.” You laugh a little, refocusing on the road ahead and double checking the state of the light overhead. 

“It releases uhhh… I think it’s gonna be Thursday at midnight?” You respond, trying your best to recall the exact detail, seeing as when it came up in the meeting with your team that morning, your mind was elsewhere. Baby opens up his phone and checks his shared calendar with the other Saja Boys briefly for anything he forgot. 

“Luckily… I’m free all day Wednesday and Thursday. Can I come by your place for the live release?” Baby suggests smiling a little even though he was tired. “Plus~ I get to see our precious sharkies.” Baby continues.

“Oh. Here I thought you wanted to hang out with me” You tease back, and he rolls his eyes with a lazy smile across his face. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Baby says with a soft laugh as he leans the back of his head against the door and continues looking at you as the light shifts and you continue driving. 

By the time you arrive at the Saja Tower, you both have a vague plan of what you’re going to do together at your place, the following Wednesday night into Thursday. Part of you was already dreading Baby coming to your apartment, and you hadn’t even gotten him home yet. Even though you weren’t ecstatic about the idea, you supposed that celebrating with Baby would be easier, given how similar you both are, and the work you and he, to a lesser extent, put into the EP. Once Baby is out of the car and walking up the Saja Tower Circular drive, giving you a tired wave, your mind is already racing, thinking about Wednesday night. 

To your surprise, or dismay you weren’t really sure, Wednesday night arrived much faster than you anticipated. You’d done some light cleaning of your apartment, though the space never grew too dirty as you were hardly there to use it. Between touring or working in your studio you'd rarely set foot into the space. Though you had been here more recently as of late, thanks to driving Baby home most nights, it made more sense to go to your home instead of back to the studio and its couch. Any other prep besides that was buying groceries and putting them away in the fridge so that you and Baby could cook them once he got there. But in the anxiety and anticipation of his arrival, you began some of the more tedious prep work to pass the time and ease your mind. It wasn’t even that serious, what’s so different about this place than your studio or the cafe? 

You looked around the hardly familiar space as you finished up some of the prep work so that the rest could be done with Baby. Sometimes you'd wonder why you even owned this place. Nine figures and you barely live here. You had some decorations around, but those were barely substantial, the place lacked your character. Being anxious over Baby's arrival didn't help, only serving to make you more hyper aware of the space and how unlived in it felt. It’s clear you spend too much time working, as right now your studio felt more like home than this place.  

Growing more worried over the apartment's perception you go around and find all the things you’d bought with the intent to put in your apartment, always thinking, ‘that’d look good in my apartment,’ or ‘That would be perfect for my [insert room/space here.]’ But you never followed through. Once you have all of them in the living room you realise that you may be obsessed with purchasing stuff but never using it. Case and point, this apartment and all the things in it, beyond your bed on occasion. So much money wasted, you mentally sobbed. You immediately got to work on making this place feel like you lived in it.

Was doing all of this right before Baby’s planned arrival time a good idea? No. Would it keep you calm as you silently freaked out for unknown reasons? Maybe? Either way, you start up some music from your phone and get to work. Discarding the hoodie you wore, in favour of a plain t-shirt, focusing on home decoration. 

Unluckily, it didn’t take long after you began for Baby to arrive. You maybe got halfway through the pile of random decor when a knock came from the front door. 

“Gimme a minute!” Y/n calls towards their entryway, currently occupied, trying to properly secure a piece of art one of their friends gifted them onto the hallway wall. 

Much to your annoyance the knocking grew louder and insistent. Instead of getting overly annoyed, you finished what you were doing and then headed for the front door. 

“I’m coming!" You remind loudly walking into the entryway. "You impatient asshat.” You mutter under your breath as you reach for the door handle and open it. Baby's on the other side holding a few shopping bags, dressed like his usual self, in that token sweater. 

“You know. You should work on how you answer your door.” Baby says as soon as the door opens, a shit eating grin on his face. You stare at him, blinking silently... he silently stares back with that smug grin on his face.

“...” 

You slam the door shut.

"..."

Then reopen it with a smile plastered onto your face.

“Hey, who is it?” You pause for additional dramatic effect. You let out a faux gasp of surprise. “Baby? What’re you doing here. This is so unexpected, come inside” You continue with your faux overly joyed reaction and Baby’s face scrunches at your tone. 

“You see yourself as a comedian don’t you.” 

“Yep. If this music thing failed I was going into standup.” 

“Are you being serious?” 

“I don’t know, am I?” You ask Baby with a cheeky look on your face and he just huffs in annoyance. 

“Where are my kids? You’re being annoying.” Baby says whilst rolling his eyes.

“My room, just get in here already.” You say and stand aside and let him into your apartment. Once the door is closed he hands you the bags he brought, a brief glance in them and you realise its the deserts he said he was bringing. 

“Uh, living room is this way” You say as you walk towards the main living space of your apartment, Baby following. 

“You know this place is nicer than I expected” Baby says but pauses once he sees all the boxes, and items sitting around the living room.

“Did you forget I was coming over?” Baby asks as he steps closer to one of the boxes and looks inside. 

“No. I just didn’t realise how empty my place looked, so I was going to finally put all that stuff up.” You add from the kitchen where you’re packing the stuff he brought into the fridge. 

“Need some help?” Baby asks with a soft smile over to you. You hadn't expected him to offer help, but you felt kind of relieved when he asked you.

You and Baby find yourselves in your room. Baby sits on your bed, staring at the tower you’d made out of the shark plushies as you dig through your wardrobe for a shirt he could use. So that his sweater doesn't get dirty while ya'll work. 

“So what did you name em?” Baby asks as he bats the side of the plushie tower, causing most of them to fall into his lap. He then slips the snake stuffies out from inside his sweater and sets all of the stuffies into his lap and admires them. 

You were too caught up trying to decide which of your shirts would be suitable to be used in this way. Also, the one most likely to fit onto Baby. “Uhm, which one do you wanna start with?” You mutter over your shoulder before resuming the search, beginning to question why you owned so many hoodies and so few shirts. 

“Lemon Sharkie.”  “Sir Citrus” 

“What? Okay.” Baby says with a soft laugh. “Tiger”  “Mistrum Stripe”  “Really? What sort of name is that?" "A good one" 

“Uhhh… Great White?”  “Miss Chai.”  “Oh. Interesting, definitely a name.”

“Basking?”  “Tanner” 

“And finally, the biggest of them all, Whale?” “Tiny.”  “You wouldn’t have made it as a standup comedian.” 

You look away from the wardrobe, having finally found a suitable shirt. You throw the shirt at Baby and he catches it laughing a little. 

“Are you saying I chose bad names for our children?” You ask him and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re fine. I just guess I expected some sorta poetic naming for them,” Baby replies, then he pauses as he pulls off his sweater. You look at him, noticing his figure. That's not what you anticipated to be under all those baggy clothes and soft colours. Trying not to stare you look over at the snake plushies in his lap, ignoring the skin of Baby’s torso that is visible just behind them.

“What’d you name them?” You question pointing at the snakes. Baby finally slips on the shirt and looks at them then back at you.  

“Well their names are Lil Zebra and Big Hyena.” Baby says pointing at the brown one with spots and then at the striped one. 

“And my names aren’t inspired?” 

“Shut up.” Baby utters between laughing a little as he straightens out the shirt over his torso and looks at it. 

“This isn’t a bad colour” Baby mumbles. 

“Aww thank you. I know I have good taste.” You announce with a smile as your arms fold over your chest. 

“... I really hope our children don’t turn out with your ego.” Baby says with a sigh as he moves the stuffies off his lap and back to the bed, leaving the snakes with the sharks for now. 

“I’d be a great parental figure” You object, but Baby isn’t having it as he stands, he looks you up and down and laughs a little.

“Come on. Let’s put some life into your place” Baby replies, walking past you, patting your shoulder gently as he moves. You snicker in response, you'd always enjoy times like this with Baby.  

You and Baby spend a couple of hours working together to decorate your practically barren apartment. Taking small breaks to shit talk, or do some of the prep work involved with the meal you both had planned for the night.

"You're not seriously going to put that there... Right?"

"Whose apartment is this?"

"Clearly it shouldn't be yours if that's what you're going to do with it." Baby criticises, looking you up and down. You roll your eyes with a scoff at his comments. Having him around made this process 10x more fun and enjoyable. Watching him putting up paintings. It honestly revealed how much he knew about you, even if it's only been a couple of weeks of knowing each other.

By the time you're done, both you and Baby find yourselves exhausted. Neither of you even has the energy to cook, that is, until your stomach growls. Baby keeps on the shirt you'd lent him, as it wouldn't be smart to dirty his sweater during cooking either, for similar reasons, you keep your hoodie off. Luckily, throughout the night and late evening, most of the prep work was completed in spurts of free time or anxiety, so not much was left to be done.

You stand in the kitchen, going through all the veg that needs to be cut. You'd gotten a wide selection of peppers. As you set the bags on the counter, Baby comes over to see what you're up to; he watches from just behind you.

"Which of these do you like the most?" You ask him, barely looking at him from the corner of your eye. Baby grabs the bag in the middle with the most moderately hot peppers in it, and you can only assume this was him being merciful to your taste buds, no matter how much you liked spicy foods, you'd never try to outdo him.

Cooking with Baby was just as fun as decorating your apartment with him. Something about you both working together in a space felt natural at this rate, from music, to decoration, to now cooking, even hangouts with Baby felt like the most natural thing in the world to you.

You watch from across the kitchen, sliding diced peppers from the cutting board into a bowl. Baby was currently seasoning everything that needed to be seasoned with practised skill. You come on over once all the peppers are in the bowl.

"Someone's a natural."

"Well, my family has to be fed, can't trust you to do that." Baby retorts with a sly grin, and you scoff.

"I'd be a great family man, you're the dubious one." You argue, but he only hums along to the music playing in the living room, choosing to ignore you.

Baby's all smug until the stove top is on, and it's time to get oil in pans, and into the heat. You'd taken a seat at your breakfast counter to take a break, leaving everything in what you thought were Baby's capable hands, but he hesitated with every movement he made.

"Stop laughing, or I'll fry you instead." He threatens, but you don't heed his words. Instead, after watching a few failed attempts to put some of the food into a pan to fry, you come on over.

"Uhh. Step aside. Let the real chef handle this. You announce with great confidence in your skills, and Baby rolls his eyes, but doesn't fight against your takeover.

"Just so you know, I would've had that handled if it weren't for this stove being weird." Baby defends himself, and you chuckle a little.

"Uhh... No you looked like a fish out of water, I can tell the other Saja Boys don't let you cook"

"I try okay. But no..." Baby draws out into a groan before continuing. "They say 'yOU'rE tHe mAKnAe let us take care of you' Like I'm their helpless baby brother or something." Baby complains, mocking who you can only assume to be Jinu, based on what you've heard about him through others, and Baby.

Once the cooking is done, you step away from the kitchen and back to your room, where Baby had headed after getting bored of watching you finish the meal. You find Baby sprawled out on your bed, the children dispersed amongst the sheets and his chest, while he lazily scrolls through his social media mentions and other stuff.

"I'm done cooking." You hummed while standing in the doorway.

"I'll be out in a minute." Baby mutters from your bed, not looking away from his phone's screen.

You move to leave, but then pause. Feeling a little no good. You reasoned that a break was in order after cooking for so long by yourself, without another person to even talk to.

Whilst Baby is distracted, you stalk over to your bed, trying not to call attention to yourself. Then, without warning, you throw yourself onto the plush mattress. You land on Baby's lower body and he lunts out a grunt at the sudden weight upon him.

"The fuck's wrong with you?" Baby asks, caught off guard, and you give him a joyous smile in return.

"You wanted to be a complete family, right?"

"This is not what I meant."

"Too late."

Baby groans in mild frustration, but you know his cries of annoyance hold no tears. You then retrieve your own phone from your pocket and join Baby on his social media scroll session. Somehow, half an hour goes by before you know it, and neither of you has moved away from this position on the bed.

"We should probably eat. The food is definitely cold now," Baby mutters with a stretch, though his torso is unable to move much with you lying across it.

Relocating to your living room, both you and Baby situate yourself on the love seat, as Baby scowers through your streaming service for a reality show, Zoey had gotten him and Mystery hooked on.

"Ew. You watched that new musical."

"Yeah? It was good, what's the matter?"

"The title's just kinda dumb in my opinion."

"Well, I don't know if Baby Saja, the maknae of Saja Boys, can call something a dumb title."

"If I watch a season of your reality show, you're watching that movie with me." You say, looking over at Baby, and he looks back at you. His brows furrow as he weighs the pros and cons, and finally he nods his head.

"FINE. But if I don't like it... you're taking me back to the aquarium, all on your dime."

"That's not comparable."

"Too bad. So what'll it be?"

"Ugh. Fine., you drive a hard bargin."

Baby finally finds the reality show and starts episode 1. You barely got the premise, but Baby explained the whole point of it, the sell for viewers and the contestants. In your opinion, a reality show would never find you true love, but whatever. About halfway through the season, you started to lose the plot, failing to understand anything that was happening. At least the food was good enough to distract you from the plot. Sure, you could check your phone that was lighting up on occasion, but you'd check it in a minute.

“That girl has zero self-respect.” 

“Well she thinks he likes her, so what’s she going to do?” 

“Yeah but there’s being oblivious to how others fell and then gaslighting yourself” 

“She’s not gaslighting herself.” 

“You genuinely think she doesn’t see how he treats her and how that’s like not okay?” 

“Well people do dumbshit when they’re in love.” 

“Still think she would’ve been happier with the other guy.” 

“Oh no. Yeah definitely.” 

You and Baby spend another hour or two watching the rest of the season. To his word, you and Baby watch that new musical he'd not been interested in seeing. For someone so against it, you watched how he subtly added songs to his playlists as they were performed.  

"Someone likes the music."

"Shut up. I'm just going to use it for notes on production, the beats are really well made, almost as good as ours."

You don't know why, but you swear pride flutters in your chest as he says that. The way he held your sound so high, honestly, felt surreal at times. You and Baby continue watching random things on your streaming service, between shitty romcoms...

"They have clearly never kissed anyone before."

"Oh, like you're so good at it."

To horrors....

"They're def going to die in there."

"They had it coming to them, messing with demons and shit."

To honestly, whatever else you can find...

"Is this a nightmare. What are we watching?"

"The acting, story and visuals are all so shit. I- Why did you pick this?"

"It looked good."

"The rating was 20% liked."

"People are wrong sometimes."

You laugh a little and reach for your phone, realising you'd forgotten to check it so long ago. You unlock it and check what the notifications were about, and realise the time and the number of mentions you had online were linked.

“Oh. It's 4 am. The song’s out already.” You passively mention as you check your socials to see the live reaction of fans, as you hadn’t made it public, the song was released tonight… this morning? This morning...

“Wait what?” Baby asks with more energy as he checks his phone, ignoring the texts of the other Sajas wondering when he’s coming back to the tower. 

Baby races to find the song on his music service and before he plays it, seeing as he has a good idea of what it’ll sound like he checks the credits instead. 

“Léo?” Baby says in surprise and confusion.

“Surprise, that's your alias.” You say whilst grinning at Baby.

“You’re such a piece of shit.” He huffs with a smile on his face. “I told you to make one up, not pick something boring.” Baby says, sounding a little dejected at the name selection you’ve made. He then finally listens to the song. 

“That's a dumb title you’ve chosen.” Baby complains as he hits play, eyes going wide when he realises which song off of the EP it is. 

“You’re not fucking serious.” He half yells while pausing it. He grabs a pillow and tosses it at you.

“You should’ve used the one with the honey hook.” Baby complains. 

“I wanted that one first.” Baby continues with a soft smile as he thinks about the song he'd heard so long ago.

“It’s next don’t worry, you literal baby.” You tease him but Baby just huffs and flips you off. He then resumes listening to the song. Enjoying the final version of the production. 

“Oh I like what you did there.” 

“See I told you changing that to a beat drop would sound good.” 

Baby makes various little comments about the song and it’s lyrics and then once it's done he smiles. Baby notices Y/n’s currently focused watching fans and others reaction to the first song, the first time you’ve released something with you rapping on it. The surprisingly positive reactions make you feel more confident in the project as a whole. Even if a few fans seemed turned off by the production or the rapping, it doesn’t matter as much as you were worried it would. 

Baby silently stares at you for a couple of moments, smiling to himself as he sees you relieved by the positive responses of your fans. Baby himself is relieved as well, he grew to share your worries about the reception of you rapping on a song for the first time in your career, so to see everything going well, he finds himself surprisingly relieved as well. 

“Congrats on the first release.” Baby says as he shoves your shoulder gently, leaning closer and wrapping his other arm around your shoulder. 

“Your fans like you rapping, that’s good, now you just have the rest of the EP.” Baby continues as he looks at your phone  over your shoulder taking in the response of Kpop fans in general.

“Yeah. I mean.... I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for you. So, thank you. So so much.” You earnestly say to him. Baby takes a moment to just look at you. 

“No problem. Now, let’s celebrate.” He cheers getting off the couch and heading over to the fridge to get the deserts he brought. 

The desserts Baby brought are the perfect reward after such a long journey of making this EP. Having him show up halfway into its creation helped to flesh it out as something much better than you could've imagined.

The pair spends another hour or two eating dessert and watching comments and reactions online. Baby goes off on several monologues about why the people criticising his work with you are wrong, objectively. Obviously, none of this is posted online, and once you've both had enough fun and feel sleep start to linger in your minds, you get ready to drive Baby home.

Baby heads off to your room, taking off your shirt that he spent the whole night in and retrieves the snakes. Once that is done, you slip on your hoodie and head downstairs, driving Baby home.

Author’s Post-Note: I didn’t plan for this chapter to be so long… nor did I expect to write home improvement into this?? Like why’re we getting domestic before we even hold hands???? At this rate I am writing slow burn ‘cause what is this madness 😭. ANyways. I dreamt that I uploaded this chapter... so here I am to do just that. Uhm… Hope yall enjoyed this part, it was surely fun to write, and again I’m really grateful so many of you enjoy my writing, especially given how new I am to this in general. I don’t believe I have anything else to mention... just check out Worthy if you’re into Genshin, especially the youngest guys of the harbingers…. Oh one last thing, what other characters would you all be interested in seeing me write for… feel free to let me know, and that's about it, so yeah, later everyone, hope you're staying safe and healthy <3

Tag: @ravenspireshoardoftrinkets 

Series Parts: A0, A1, A2, A3, A4 [here], A5, A6

[season-of-the-squirrels]

Hiii

There is a re-written chapter of Vol 2??????

How did I not know this? Do you know when it was re-written? I don't know if I have read the original one or not. I read THROAM for the first time in 2017 or 2018

Can you post the side by side comparison pls.

Thank you!!

oh yes there is and it’s my roman empire!! i also read throam for the first time in 2018 and i read the rewrite, so maybe you did too? i don't know when exactly it was rewritten (EDIT: it was in 2018 lol). anyways here are links to both, and then a side by side comparison below the cut

the original: the relevant bit starts on page 391 and goes until the section break on page 398. this is also the version in the physical copy

the rewrite: no page numbers bc it’s ao3, but it’s the last chapter starting from ryan in the hotel room until the end of the scene

finally, here are the proper side-by-side, page-by page comparisons (under the cut for 1. spoilers, 2. dubcon tw, and 3. posting images on tumblr scares me and i don't wanna fuck up anyone's dash)

rewrite is on the left, original is on the right.

please forgive my editing skills, hopefully these are readable!! i highlighted/annotated the changes that i felt were the most important. tl;dr there was discourse over whether shane actually consented or not and that's why it was rewritten.

besides the obvious edits, i noticed the word "fucking" is used a lot more sparingly in the rewrite and i think it says a lot about ryan's mentality in each version? but anyways i had fun making this so i hope this was fun/informative for you too!

[winter-parrot]

#bucktommyhiatusevent week two: quotes or baking. i was trying to make this shorter than before, but i apparently have no self control and it's slightly longer instead.

tommy regrets the things he said, worries about evan, and finds him in a grocery store. | bucktommy | post season 8 | 2.9k

now on ao3 as well!

------

The worst thing about opening your mouth and shoving your entire foot into it at Mach 5, in Tommy’s regrettably expert opinion, is that there’s no way to take the words back. They stay out there in the world, immortal in his memory and everyone else’s.

Now that the competition’s out of the way sits right out in the open, like a monument to his ugliest insecurities. A plaque next to it reads Thank you for last night; it was fun. Across from them is a row of older statues commemorating I know how this ends and I’m not your last and You’d end up breaking my heart and See you around, Buck. He’s practically got a whole statuary’s worth of worst lines. Impressive, really.

He debates reaching out to Evan a dozen times, in the days after everything. Picks up his phone ten times a day—ten times an hour, if he’s interested in being honest, at least to himself. But his statuary of idiocy stops his hand every time, has him deleting countless half-written texts and forcefully putting his phone away. At least until his resolve crumbles, and he’s staring down at Evan’s number again.

Partly, he’s grieving Bobby Nash and wants to share in that with someone. Texting once or twice with Hen and Howie just isn’t cutting it. He doesn’t really feel comfortable intruding on their grief more than that, not with the decade and change of distance between them, recent reunions notwithstanding. Besides, their shared memories of the 118 is tainted by the long shadow of the version of Tommy they first met, and inviting a trip down memory lane feels a little bit like inviting that shadow in, too.

But mostly, he worries for Evan. He’s not the person who gets to take care of Evan, he knows that. He’s well aware that he blew up that chance with his own hands—or rather, his own stupid mouth—thank you very much. But that doesn’t stop him from worrying, all the goddamn time.

He likes to think he knows what’s important to Evan. It’s not even about his own perceptiveness as a boyfriend; it would honestly have been harder not to learn over six months spent in each other’s pockets, with the way Evan wears his heart openly, fearlessly, terrifyingly on his sleeve. And Bobby, well, Bobby was easily in the Top 5 most important people. Maybe even Top 2, right up there next to Maddie. They didn’t get much deeper than scratching the surface of each other’s festering wounds and deep-seated fears—another regret to add to the long, long list—but the little he heard about the Buckley parents made it painfully clear that there was little love to be found there. Which only made Bobby doubly, triply important to Evan.

He doesn’t have to imagine what the loss would do to Evan. He was there, watched uselessly over the monitors as Evan crumpled under the weight of it, falling to the ground right there in the hallway. Watched him scream like a wounded animal, at once furious and perversely grateful that the camera feed didn’t come with audio. Then he watched Evan slowly, painfully put himself back together, brick by crumbling brick like a collapsed building, so that he could help Athena walk out of that lab. So that he, the one walking and non-contaminated member of the 118 A-shift, could hold down the fort and take care of everyone despite and through his own grief.

So. Tommy’s worried. Evan seemed okay, or at least holding himself together, the last time they saw each other at Bobby’s funeral—but only if you ignored the heavy shadows under his eyes, and the empty darkness behind them. And Tommy watched him build himself back up in that lab, knows better than to trust that the brick-wall facade won’t fall over in a faint breeze, or when the shaky foundation eventually crumbles. Knows it’s only a matter of time before Evan runs out of steam and collapses like he did in the lab.

But Tommy doesn’t get to be the one who catches him anymore. Besides, Evan’s got his whole team, his whole family right there around him. People who Evan loves and trusts, and who love him in return; people who know him better than Tommy probably ever got to, who saw every day for eight years how important Bobby was to Evan, who can surely see the grief and loss and pain that Evan is trying so hard to hide, and yet still wearing so plainly on his face. They’ll take care of him. And Evan would surely prefer their care over Tommy’s. Especially if the scuttlebutt is true, and Diaz is back at the 118. (And Lucy is never allowed to know that he actually has an ear on the gossip these days, mostly in the faint hope of hearing something, any tiny thing about Evan. She’ll never let him hear the end of it. And most likely tattle to Sal, who’ll also never let him hear the end of it. They’d be helpful, keeping their on ear out, but it’s not worth the price. Not for a few weeks yet, anyway.) Competition or not, Diaz was Evan’s partner and best friend, and one of the most important people in Evan’s life. Having him around can only be good news for Evan, right?

Point is, Evan has a damn good support system, one he actually wants, one that didn’t walk out on him—one that does not include Tommy. He doesn’t want to be an unwelcome intruder among them, barreling clumsily over their shared grief over the loss of their captain with all the grace and welcome of a particularly clumsy bull in a china shop. Doesn’t want to inflict his unwanted presence on any of them, on Hen or Howie or Eddie, but especially on Evan. He knows better than to be the clingy ex-boyfriend, lingering on like a stubborn leech and unable to take a hint. And he is so, so afraid of adding on to Evan’s pain, of becoming one more problem to deal with when Evan’s life has been torn to shreds by Bobby’s death.

But none of that stops him from worrying. Pathetically, helplessly, obsessively worrying. So much that sometimes, when the worry and the longing become nearly unbearable, he starts haunting Evan’s neighborhood out of the vain hope of catching some distant glimpse of Evan going about his life. Just to reassure himself that Evan really was fine and taken care of and doesn’t need Tommy. It’s admittedly a little masochistic, because it will inevitably sting to see the proof of his own superfluity, but at least that’s better than the third sleepless night in a row staring at his phone.

It takes a week and two neighborhood wanderings before it occurs to him that this might not be Evan’s neighborhood anymore. Might be Eddie’s neighbourhood again, and Evan’s moved somewhere else, and Tommy simply would never know. Just like he didn’t know when Evan moved into Eddie’s house in the first place. He has a bit of a crisis over it, and then takes to haunting the 118’s neighbourhood as well as Evan’s. Just in case.

Which is why he’s currently wandering through a grocery store a few blocks from the 118 at the wrong side of sunrise. It’s a ridiculous hour to be in a grocery store, but he’s got a 48 starting in a few hours. He couldn’t sleep anyway, feeling that ever-present tug to be near Evan—or barring that, near somewhere Evan might be.

Or maybe his gut was onto something, this time.

Evan’s here. Evan is here, right in front of Tommy, standing in the produce section, staring at the pile of potatoes with the kind of lost and fragile expression usually reserved for little kids on calls who just watched their parents die.

Tommy’s first instinct is to pull Evan into a hug. His second instinct, after he remembers for the thousandth time that he doesn’t get to be the person comforting Evan anymore, is to look around for someone who does. They’re literally three blocks away from the station house, so surely someone is here with Evan. For all of Evan’s attempts to appear strong, it’s kind of obvious that he needs support; not because he’s weak, but because his very foundation was shaken like the aftermath of an earthquake, and it’ll take time to firm up the ground again. He needs scaffolding, in the meantime. Evan loves so loudly and deeply, after all; it shouldn’t be suprising that he lost loudly and deeply, too. If Tommy could see all that over a few shared hours at the funeral, always a few paces behind Evan, then the Evan’s family must see it all the more clearly. Any second now, someone was going to walk up to him and gently nudge him out of his stricken reverie.

He backsteps, trying poorly melt into the background of the cereal aisle. The brightly-coloured boxes look down at him and his oversized bulk with pity, but luckily Evan isn’t looking this way. He’s not looking much of any way at all, not even right in front of him at the potatoes. (Yukon Gold, supplies to memory of Evan flourishing in his kitchen. Great for creamy mashed potatoes.) Tommy holds his breath and waits and watches, just masochistic enough to want to see Evan taken care of before he takes his own leave.

He waits. He watches.

Tommy is so, so sure of the inevitability of a rescue, that it does not occur to him to step in. Not until a middle-aged woman awkwardly reaches past Evan to snag a few potatoes for herself. Her motion, or maybe her proximity, startles Evan out of his trance. The plastic basket in his hand drops with a clatter as he backs away on obviously unsteady legs.

Then, and only then, it finally occurs to Tommy: no one is coming to find Evan. No one is here with Evan. Three blocks away from the 118 station house, not three weeks after losing the only parent he’d ever actually known, Evan is standing alone in a grocery store. Shopping, presumably, for said station, but with nobody to stand at his side.

Tommy’s body is faster on the uptake than his mind. By the time he finishes processing the thought, he’s already standing two feet away from Evan—the closest they’ve been since sharing the cockpit of a rogue helicopter—with the plastic basket rescued in his hands.

“T-tommy,” Evan says, with wide watery blue eyes. The stutter’s back in full force, whether from surprise or grief or the sheer displeasure of Tommy’s presence. “H-hey. I, uh, I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

Which is fair. And there’s no explanation he can give that will not make him sound pathetic, or creepy, or both. His body is, perhaps predictably, less good at just talking to Evan; though, given the unfortunate things he’s said before, it’s probably better than his mouth doesn’t run away from him. Even if it does leave him with the rather pressing problem of thinking of something to say. “Are you…” he begins, and then swallows the end of that question. There is no world in which Evan is okay, right now, and asking feels stupid. He tries again. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” Evan says, too fast and rote.

Tommy doesn’t exactly mean to, but his eyebrows rise with skepticism. He understands shoving down your emotions and putting up a veneer of calm, he really does. But he watched Evan zone out in front of the Yukon Gold potatoes. The jig was up already, belying Evan’s words before he ever spoke them.

Evan colours and drops his gaze, but not in a good way. This isn’t shyness, or playing coy. This is shame, weighing down Evan’s head. Someone or something made fierce, fearless, beating-heart-on-his-sleeve Evan Buckley ashamed of his own grief.

Tommy wrestles down the swell of anger. Partly out of habit—he refuses to become anything like his father—but mostly because it isn’t going to help Evan, right now. Says instead, as gentle as he can, “Hey. I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I did mean the question, though.”

Evan doesn’t look up. “Yeah, b-but you don’t… you don’t need to hear about all that. I’m, um, I’m, you know, still here, so. H-how are you holding up?”

“Evan, I’m serious,” Tommy says, fighting against the rising certainty that something is deeply wrong. Even more wrong than he’d expected; and he’d expected pretty fucking bad, given the circumstances. “I asked. I’m inviting you to tell me.” A thought occurs to him, painful but true, and he takes a sharp, fortifying breath before adding, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to—God knows I probably wouldn’t want to talk to me, either. But don’t hold back for my sake. So. How are you holding up, really?”

Evan swallows. Swallows again. Chokes out, “N-not great.”

It’s like watching a puppet collapse, when the puppeteer dropts it at the end of a show. All the air rushes out of Evan at once, and he lists dangerously forward. It isn’t a choice or even a habit so much as a deep, animal instinct that has Tommy reaching out, catching Evan’s not-insignificant bulk against his own.

That’s alright. The firefighter muscles aren’t just for show. He built them to carry people out of burning buildings; he’s happy to use them now to carry Evan, both literally and figuratively, in the middle of a grocery store.

Evan clings to Tommy like a lifeline. Like he’s the one solid thing still standing in a building that’s crumbling to pieces around Evan. Like Tommy can be a steady thing, a sure thing, when everything else is falling apart.

Tommy holds Evan tight. Lets him bury his head against Tommy’s chest, and pretends not to notice the dampness spreading across his shirt. Evan’s babbling something about missing family dinners and making breakfast and Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Most of the words are too muffled and too broken up by shaking breaths on the edge of sobbing to be comprehensible.

That’s alright, too. There will be time, later, to let Evan say them properly, so he can listen to them properly. Tommy decides, right then and there, that he will make sure there’s time later.

He forgot, for a while, that it wasn’t only the ugly words sitting between them. No, that’s not quite true; he has plenty of sweeter, kinder words to hold on to. The most transformative of my life and they can be the same thing and even from way back at the beginning, that guy is so cool are still nestled in between Tommy’s ribs, tucked in there for safekeeping. A candleflame of memory to tide him over on the coldest, loneliest nights.

He just hadn’t thought the sentiment went both ways. He’d been so sure that all the stupid, terrible things he couldn’t take back had destroyed anything good he might have built. But maybe And for you sits there still, in the tiny glimmer of light in Evan’s eyes when he first saw Tommy. Not without feeding you is in the clutching grip of Evan’s hands against his body.

And somewhere behind them both, like a sturdy wall to lean against, is You want to try again?

It hadn’t been enough, then, to stop him from spewing out his worst, most unsiecure thoughts all over that sunlit room. It hadn’t been enough to soothe the hurt in Evan’s eyes, or to stay Tommy’s feet when the instinct to cut his losses and run kicked in.

It’s enough, now, to bolster his strength and keep him standing there, holding Evan. He’s going to make it enough to stay, and stay, and stay, until and unless Evan actually tells him to get lost. He’ll weld his fucking shoes to the ground if he has to, so he can’t run. So he doesn’t abandon Evan alone in a grocery store, like everyone else apparently did.

After all, as Evan once said: why be apart when we can be together? When Evan needs him, and maybe even wants him—and Tommy needs him and wants him, too. Maybe that can be enough.

[at4-raxia]

Mark Grayson x Ladybug!reader part 4

(part 3, part 5)

Before you read: Mark and the reader are whipped for each other (obsessed to some degree), suggestive, non consensual touching/kissing, the variants want that cookie, Sinister Mark is his own warning (I don't think I need to specify that any further honestly), the reader is not okay, angst (because why not?), and lastly but not least, violence and blood.

Synopsis: In every universe out there you're the sweet girl that knows Mark Grayson since birth and that sticks with him until you die. One way or another, no matter the circumstance, you die. The ways differ: some are more gruesome than others, some are just mercy, some deaths are an extreme act of rebellion. Right now, as you swing from building to building to try and save your parents, you don't know how exceptional you are, since no other version of yourself has ever left Mark's embrace.

("Mark"

It's a peaceful morning, a weekend. As always, you spent those at his house and wake up on his bed with him wrapped around your midsection. You know he's awake but doesn't want to get up since he tickles your stomach with his nose and hair as he tries to find a better position.

"Mmh?" That's the only thing that comes out of him as he just tightens his hold. You smile, amused, because out of all the people around the globe you're the only one that can 'tame' Invincible, you're the only girl in the world that has the opportunity to see him like this, make him like this.

Even if your parents don't approve of him.

They never did actually.

You wonder if their dislike comes from the fact that when you two were little he broke your wrist from playing too roughly. Maybe it's not that, but the fact that his eyes are a little too apathetic to be normal, his way of handling things is too rough, too harsh, sadistic at times. Nevertheless they don't know what you see in that mess, in that boy that smiles at you only when things go his way. Mark hated them just as much, they were nuisances in his opinion.

It's not that you don't see. You do, you do it better than anybody. It's just that you don't want to acknowledge, accept, that they are right. After all he is not a good person, he is not kind, he is merciless as he slaughters another monster in a way that's too gruesome to even record and show on the news. But he is so good to you, they just don't see it.

You know he loves you in his own distorted way, and that's enough. Because you'd prefer having Mark than not having him at all.

"I have received my acceptance letter from that culinary school. The one that has that two year experience course."

"The one in Paris?"

"Yeah", for a moment nothing comes out of his mouth as he is thinking about this, or maybe he is waiting for you to give him the answer he wants.

"I've been thinking we could go to Paris, since you dropped out of high school". After his father's indoctrination, he didn't see a point in completing his studies when instead he had to train for more important things, like the empire he was going to build.

"I don't know". It's almost a warning, it feels like one.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'? There's nothing that's holding you back". He's the one holding you back instead, because everyone knows that wherever you are, Mark is not far behind.

"What about the GDA?" His voice is calm, collected, a bit scratchy like always, and he has yet to look at your face. To him this conversation is meaningless, it's pointless, just a way to pass time as you comb your fingers through his hair. At the end of the day, no matter how much you whine, you always give in to what he says.

"Mark don't give me that bullshit, we both know that you don't give a shit about them", your statement is not authoritarian, it doesn't question the dynamic between the two of you, but your tone is enough to make Mark finally turn around and look at you.

His gaze is always so dark, so cold, it makes you wonder if he loves you at least a little bit.

"Are you going to keep wasting my time with this nonsense? Why would we even need to go to Paris anyway?" It's not as if in the long run you're going to need the certificate from that course if you're with Mark, the next ruler of the viltrumite empire. You frown, obviously. He knows how much you love baking, he knows how much you've trained and how much sacrifice you've put into this passion, and yet he remains selfish, even if it's you, the only person that's ever made him feel something.

"Then I'll just go alone", he laughs, of course. Where would you even go without him?

"[name]", his laugh tickles your stomach and then you feel his breath move higher and higher as he gets up from his previous position—like a wolf does to his prey as it decides which part to eat first—until your noses are almost touching.

"Do you really want to try me?" He stands now fully on top of you, his breath hot on your lips as he stares at them. You know he is a monster, you know who you're dating is not sane. He is dangerous, a killing machine that stands above any other man, any other creature on this planet, and in this little fantasy you're above anyone else too, above all the carnage and the blood.

But you're caged.

Like a little exotic bird who's known nothing else but that cage for their entire life. You dream, you dream big, you try to chase the feeling in your chest that screams that out there there's something else other than bars of metal, that there's a big future ahead. The cage is big, there's a lot of space to roam, it's not locked and your wings are not clipped. You could fly away at any moment, you've had plenty of opportunities before, you could leave him behind and stop following his twisted rules, and the funniest thing is he would let you. But you don't, because you've never known anything else but the cage, nothing else but Mark in your short pathetic life.

Right now you could tell him to fuck off, to let you be and let you live out your dream and have the life you want for yourself, you could get up right now from the bed and go home, and throughout all this he would look at you with those cold, dark eyes and then let you go.

Then you would be a person like the rest, nothing special, just a nobody like everyone else on this weak, miserable planet.

And you couldn't live with that, you could not live in a world where you're nothing for Mark Grayson.

And he knows it.

There's a cruel mocking smile as his lips get closer to yours with each word, his hand moves up your leg as if you were made of glass, a contradiction to his cruel behaviour. You don't give an answer to his threat, you just frown and look away, giving away your decision.

He doesn't say anything more, content with you as he closes the distance between the two of you. He almost crushes you against the headboard, your head banging against it as he assaults your lips. He's cruel, everything about him is. Everything about Mark is rough and bloodthirsty as he just bites your lip in the frenzy of the 'kiss'.

You nearly scream as you feel his canines rip through the skin, piercing it. It's muffled anyway as he doesn't even let you breath, he just takes, and takes, and takes.

Then, just when you think you're going to pass out from the lack of oxygen, he finally lets you breathe. You slump against his shoulder like a puppet whose strings had just been cut, dizzy and lightheaded as the room spins. Your lips hurt, they are swollen and red, just how he likes them.

You don't shed any tears yet, he's done it many times before that you almost like the pain now, but your eyes are glossy as you try to recollect yourself against his shoulder.

Mark' s grin becomes bigger, happier, as he looks at your unfocused stare, at the trickle of blood that runs down your mouth and that you don't bother to clean as you regain your breath slowly.

In mock comfort he nuzzles his nose against your neck, enjoying the way your vein is pumping faster to compensate for the lack of oxygen. He inhales your scent and then he sighs, genuinely pleased with the outcome.

"Maybe if you like we could go on a date in Paris?" You don't answer, still trying to get yourself together from this murderous make out session, even if you're already thinking about what he'd like for you to wear.)

-

Your feet collide with the glass roof of the factory as you smash your way in, the twisted version of Mark had not returned yet from his little trip, but it was only a matter of time before you would have to face him.

Your parents are relieved to see Ladybug here to their rescue, but not enough since that man is out to get you.

"My daughter" your mother gasps as you remove the gag and untie her as quickly as possible.

"Where is she? Is she safe from him? They were on a call just now". She sobs as she thinks of what he might be doing to you right now, and wonders how you knew this man. It was difficult to ignore his desire that radiated from every word as he talked to you on the phone, even harder to not puke at how quickly he had launched himself in the air after you had given up your location.

"She's safe, you don't need to worry about him, I'll take care of him." You make quick work of your parents' restraints, your only thought is being quick, hoping that you'll be fast enough to be able to not fight another version of Invincible. Even if you really want to murder him, you know it will be nearly impossible to do so, maybe it could also cost your life. "Go somewhere else, not your house, it's not safe".

"But our daughter, where is she—"

"She's fine!" You're sweating bullets as you feel the air change, your instincts already feeling the ripple in the atmosphere as something approaches. Something fast, murderous, angry.

"You need to go! Now!" You scream as you suddenly need to push your parents towards one of the doors as this Mark comes crashing down going straight for their heads. You manage to evade near decapitation by jumping acrobatically over his flying body, everything seems to go in slow motion as the both of you make eye contact.

Then, before he can stop himself and you can land on the ground, your yo-yo wraps itself around his whole body sending him flying against one of the machines. The whole building shakes from the collision, but you don't even hear him grunt as he just grabs the string of your yo-yo and pulls you to him. You yelp as you don't have enough strength to stop him, he's smiling, grinning like a Cheshire cat as he throws a lethal punch to your head, finally free from your yo-yo's hold after you were forced to let him go because of his pull.

"This is entertaining and all, but you've just interfered with a personal matter, did she send you?" His outfit comically matches yours as he flaunts the colours black and yellow.

You were a ladybug and this Mark looked like a wasp, aggressive like one two.

You would have laughed if you weren't busy shitting bricks thinking how to come out of this alive. Some dark part of you screamed to just kill him, to murder this tainted copy of your Mark not only to avenge your parents, but also the ones of the other version of you. Another part of you, the most rational one probably, tended towards a more cautious approach, one that would make sure you would come out alive with intact limbs.

"Very personal might I had, and now you're even blocking my path", then he laughs, all teeth and gums, "What's with the costume anyway? A ladybug? And those ponytails?"

"Could say the same for you with all that black and yellow", he doesn't even look at you, deeming you insignificant as he just dusts himself from the remaining debris on his costume.

"You sure do talk back for someone so pathetic"

"And you talk too much" you glare at his pitch black lenses, hoping to find at least something in those eyes that for a moment could make you remember that he is Mark, no matter what universe.

"You don't want me to be silent, little bug, after all I'm giving you time to think." He smiles cruelly, gloating at the large disparity between the two of you. Your hate returns triplicated, your whole body trembles under its weight. You know it's the truth, you know how limited you are. Yet you don't like not being taken seriously, you never did.

There's a moment of silence, the both of you waiting for the other to do something. You don't want to ponder too much on the proof of how twisted Mark could have become, had he made different choices. His cape twists around itself due to the wind, it's caked in blood along with his costume. Some of it is old and dried, some of it is bright and fresh as it drips on the ground, but no matter what form, that is still the blood of millions of people who were annihilated along with the city he chose to destroy.

People you can't bring back to life with your powers, because death is not something you can reverse with a quick smile and an object thrown in the air that vanishes in tiny little ladybugs and pink sparkles.

Death is permanent, the only irreversible act of destruction.

He doesn't wait for a remark, suddenly remembering why he was there in the first place, and he makes the first move by flying towards you with the intent to kill.

Every single one of his punches is deadly, so you're forced to dodge every single one of them.

This man doesn't even let you summon your lucky charm, he doesn't move like the Mark you have fought a couple of hours ago. His movements are the manifestation of years of honing his technique, of sharpening his body and mind in a machine that only works to massacre his enemies.

You don't have time to even say the famous words, since he just violently makes his way through the contraptions that surround the building, just to get to you.

You've seen yourself nearly decapitated, or with a hole in your chest as he just squishes your heart in his hands. You don't know how much longer you could escape all these near death experiences, you're just running on pure adrenaline as the beast in front of you gets more restless with each punch and kick that hits the air and not your guts.

Your luck for a moment falters, maybe it's just you making a tiny mistake, but it costs you dearly as the yo-yo you send his way is caught by him. In a matter of seconds your arms and legs are tangled around it, tying you up as he uses the other end of the weapon to send your body through at least three walls.

He hears the cracks your bones make, you feel all of it as you groan.

"Look at that, the little bug doesn't even know how to use her own silly 'weapon'." Your body is suspended in the air thanks to him and you're still tied up like some sick sort of present, all blood and cuts.

"Pathetic", the strings tighten around you, ripping through the costume and cutting your skin. Your yo-yo is indestructible, so you know that before the strings even think of snapping from his brute force, your body will already be a lifeless, sliced mess.

At every scream you make, his smile grows bigger. If he could, he'd take his sweet time with you, maybe even taste your thick dark blood that is now regrouped in a puddle on the dirty floor. Some of it splutters out of your mouth, adding some more red to his collection that stains his body which he wears proudly.

Before he can finally squish you like the bug you are, he's blinded by the pink sparkles of your de-transformation, shocked when he doesn't feel your yo-yo in his hands anymore. When you hit the ground, all tired and rapidly approaching blood loss, you struggle to get up and transform back.

"[name]?" It's a mix between euphoric and speechless, your name once again sounds like it hasn't been said in a long time, and it deeply freaks you out. You're afraid, don't really know what to do as you shed some tears that mix with the blood that coats your chin. You're back in your costume, but you feel naked in front of his gaze that speaks volumes, that almost devours you whole.

He laughs, ugly, like a maniac as he just hugs you tightly like you're the only medicine that can soothe his ache.

"I hate you so much" his words are fused with disbelieving laughter, his tight hold nearly makes you see god as he just inhales your scent, taking it in with deep long breaths and exhaling it in hot sighs that make you shiver.

"You don't know how much I hate you, after all I did..." He sounds so desperate, all his previous composure discarded. "You—you just left me, after everything I did for you—for us", he squeezes you even tighter, you can feel his rage, maybe even disappointment. You're scared like never before, cold sweat runs down your forehead, afraid of what he might do to you, seeing as he is losing his marbles ranting about things that happened with the you from his world.

"I fucking hate you so much, you had to go and ruin everything", he sounds like he might cry as he grits his teeth, but he doesn't, and you know he won't since instead his hands grip your blood coated skin even tighter, almost as if he was trying to imprint the feeling of it in his memory. He won't cry now, not when he didn't even flinch when he saw your lifeless body hang in the kitchen.

He had buried you, you had made him bury you.

He had taken care of every problem that stood in your way: his father wanted to get rid of you? Murdered in cold blood with his heart as an offer for you, people who did you wrong? Gone in the wind, your parents when they decided they had enough of him? Fucking ripped in half, bodies bent in the most gruesome ways imaginable.

You had always accepted him for how he was, because you couldn't live without him or with the thought of being nothing to him. You had flinched when you saw his dad's bloody heart, you had grimaced at the smell of the blood of your friends, of his coworkers, of innocent people, but it had never repulsed you enough to hate him or to not hug him, to not kiss him.

Yet, when he finally decides to murder the bastards that stood in the way of your future, the world he had envisioned for the both of you, you suddenly think it's too much?

How hypocritical could you be?

Your struggling is useless, you're punching him, trying to kick him, but it's all futile.

"Maybe deep down, you knew that I would have never let you go, even if I was so cold and 'heartless'". Without meaning to, you had given him clear access to your neck, to your vein that moves so rapidly due to the frantic beating of your heart.

"You're satisfied now, right? I let you make the choice you wanted for once." He hates how much he needs you, how dependent you had made him.

"Let me take care of the rest, now you just need to listen and be good for me, alright?", you don't understand how a statement could be both so malicious and adoring at the same time. After witnessing his delirium, anguish consumes you, were you the reason why he was such a psychopath? Was Mark destined to go rouge if he stuck with you?

Your speeding thoughts come to an abrupt stop as you feel teeth sinking in your neck, a scream erupts out of your dry throat, but he's quick to silence you as he just licks the blood running down your neck.

Your neck becomes his canvas, he covers it in bites and hickeys, brandin you like an animal and tasting your flesh and blood as if they were the most delicious things he has ever tried. A sob escapes you as you just close your eyes and take whatever he is giving you, but when you open them he is staring directly at you.

His mouth is covered in your blood—just like yours—then, as if he couldn't get enough, he slowly licks the blood that's running down your chin, loving the taste too much to let any of it go to waste. Your eyes widen as you feel his warm lips move against yours, your hands fly up to his hair and he moans in the kiss after you pull them to get him off you. For a moment your mouths separate but your lips collide again in a vicious cycle of tugging and pulling. He's panting, hair sticking in every direction, and you're light-headed, most likely due to the blood you're losing.

He doesn't give you any room to breathe, uncaring that unlike him you need oxygen to survive.

So you do the most logical thing really, you bite his tongue.

Nearly chewing off the squishy organ.

Naturally, his reaction is instantaneous as he screams and drops you to the ground. "You bitch—" he splutters out with a newly acquired lisp that makes you giggle as you lay on the ground, high in the clouds from all the blood that you were rapidly losing.

Before he is even able to grab you from the floor like a little mindless puppet, you're scoped in the arms of someone else, red paints his white suit.

You can't move, your eyes slowly closing as the cold air hits your face and warm, bloody hands hold you like you were giving to die at any moment, maybe you were, maybe not, you don't really know.

"Hey, don't go dying on me", the voice sounds as if it were underwater, you don't get all the words, but hearing 'dying' is enough to understand the meaning of the entire phrase.

"Don't worry, I'm just resting my eyes for a bit, okay?" You're mellowed out, tired and giggly as you just touch his nose with a "BOop!", your bloody finger smearing your insides on his perfect nose.

He looks at you with an undecipherable gaze, or maybe you're not really in the best conditions to understand his feelings, but then he just sighs, worried? Angry? Loving? All the above?

"You better just be resting".

( "Don't you sometimes wish you could just—I don't know—disappear, even for a second." It's cold, it's a dark night only illuminated by the full moon.

"I have done that sometimes, there are so many desert planets in the galaxy—", you interrupt his calm voice, gentle and relaxed as always when he is with you.

"I—I don't know Mark. I think that no matter where we could go, we can't escape this, our responsibilities." You're sitting on a roof, your black suit clashes with his white one. Another reminder of how incompatible the both of you were.

"I can't let you conquer earth, I can't let the viltrumite empire win, but I don't want to lose you".

"You don't need to lose me" he breathes out, after his hands always find yours. Sometimes you think that it might be an instinctual response for when you need comfort, stability.

"And then what? I give up like a coward and live off the rest of my days in luxury as earth is enslaved? You know right that I can't just do that". He doesn't get why you need to make it so difficult, he could force you to just accept his way and get this over with, but he doesn't want to hurt you.

"But why not?"

"Would you give up Viltrum for me?"

A shaky breath. A twitch. The air stills.

"Don't do this to me [name]..."

Your lips twitch downwards and you don't hesitate to just get away from him, baton ready to just fly out of there.

"There you have it, your answer, why should I give up Earth when you wouldn't do the same for me?")

Taglist: @xzmickeyzx , @fijiwaterbottle

[loveafterdeath-if]

Okay, So I'll take this opportunity to steal a few asks from other ifs.

How would the ROs react if the MC got drunk on a night out and when they tried to help him get home the MCs tells them that they they have a girlfriend/boyfriend and pushes them away, this being once the MC and ROs are in a relationship of course, I have an angtsy version of this ask but I fear it might be too angtsy so I'll wait for your expert opinion and angster (angst author) in chief

I'm late, am I not? You're free to beat my ass for the late reply, lmaooo

L blinks at you, their hand brushing their arm where your hand pushed them away. They don't follow you to their car, only stare at your retreating back, forcing you to turn around with a puzzled frown.

"I told you I already have a lover," you slur. "Stop following me."

They point their finger at themself with a charming grin that slowly spreads across their face. "I am."

"What?"

"I'm your lover," they clarify with a proud nod following their words. "I'm the lucky woman/man who can call you theirs."

You blink, vision a bit blurry from your intoxicated state. That person is... yours? You tilt your head, observing the gorgeous man/woman standing a few feet away from you.

And just like that, a bark of laughter escapes your mouth as you sway on your feet. "No way!"

"Yes way," L preens under your disbelief, resuming their steps to stand in front of you and reach for your hand. They interlace your fingers with a wink. "So let's keep it that way."

You squint at them, processing their words. "Oh," you murmur, realization dawning on you before another laugh leaves your lips. "You're right."

"How many drinks did you have again, honey?" L chuckles, tugging your hand to guide you to the car, their thumb stroking your skin tenderly. "Should I be worried you forgot about me?"

"What?" You frown at them as you pull your hand away. "Wait—stop hitting on me, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend."

L glances down at their now empty hand, already missing your warmth. Their smile falters, and you swear they look like a kicked puppy.

You grimace. Maybe that wasn't the best joke to make just after genuinely forgetting they were, in fact, your lover.

"I'm kidding this time," you quickly reassure them, grabbing their hand back as you resume your step to the vehicle.

Their eyes light up as they're all too happy to lift your linked fingers and press a kiss against your skin. "You got me worried there, honey."

____

Ekissa watches you with a frown as you retreat. Did they hear you right? They don't have time to think, already fastening their steps to grab your wrist before a car can come barreling down on you.

"Look where you're going, dumbass," they grumble, tugging you away from the road.

"Stop following me," you try to yank your arm away, but they're quick to grab your hand instead. "I told you I already have a—"

"I'm the lucky bastard who's dating you, sweetheart." Ekissa cuts in, glancing at you with a raised brow. "And you drank one too many. So now, either you let me help you get back home safe, or we're gonna have a problem."

You squint at them, processing their words. "Wait, really? You? You and me?"

"No, you and my sis," Ekissa quips, sarcasm dripping through each word. "Yeah, you and me. What, got a problem with that?"

"Nope, no problem at all," you shake your head with a smile, the movement making you sway.

"Careful," they sigh in growing frustration, yet there's fondness as they squeeze their hand around yours. "Let's get you home, sweetheart."

"Oh, oh," you snort, interlacing your fingers with theirs when you finally remember. "Right."

"Finally remember my existence?" Ekissa grumbles, their eyes meeting yours.

You huff a laugh, offering an apologetic kiss against their shoulder. "Yeah."

Their features soften ever so slowly, but the words don't follow the expression. "Should I kick your ass for forgetting me?"

"No, no, that won't be necessary," you mumble in your intoxicated state. "I'll be nice from now on."

That earns a snort from them, their hand in yours drawing you closer until your shoulders are pressed together despite their allergy to public displays. "Yeah, yeah, I heard this one before."

____

"I am your boyfriend/girlfriend," T wastes no time clearing up the misunderstanding as they walk next to you despite your protest.

"You're not," you slur, your eyes looking where you're walking. "I'd know if it was you."

"Clearly, you don't," T retorts matter-of-factly as they grip your elbow tightly to keep you balanced when you nearly trip over nothing. "I told you to go easy on the drinks."

"What?" You turn your attention to the dark-haired woman/man. Your eyes blink slowly, having difficulty keeping them open.

"You drank too much," T clarifies, deciding it’s better to give up on chiding you as they shake their head. "Never mind, let's get you home before you fall and get hurt."

Your eyes narrow, your finger jabbing gently into their shoulder. "How do you know where I live?"

"Because I'm your boyfriend/girlfriend," they answer flatly, not particularly annoyed to repeat that simple sentence again and again.

That brings a tiny smile to the corners of their lips the more they repeat it. They could repeat those words for an entire day and wouldn’t tire of it.

"No, you're not. Because I already have one."

"Yes, and that's me."

"What...?" You huff a laugh, your steps unstable despite T helping you walk. "Really?"

"Yes."

"You?"

"Yes, me."

"And me?" You add.

T lets go of your elbow to slide their arm around your back and wrap it around you to better steady you as much as they can. "Yes, do you have any objections?"

Realization dawning on you, you snort, shaking your head with a small smile. "Not really."

"Good." They murmur as they squeeze your side gently.

____

Athiel's mouth opens in offense as a loud huff escapes their lips. Their features contort in frustration, hurt, and arrogance. "Fine. Faceplant yourself and see if I care."

They don't follow you, not even when your body sways at each step you take. Not even when you stop in your tracks and turn around to face them with a tiny frown.

You're drunk, not blind. And this woman/man is not only gorgeous but also criminally adorable with the little pout they have right now.

Despite yourself, you find your feet approaching them with a curious, almost wondering expression. "Are you pouting?"

"Go away," Athiel crosses their arms, glaring at nothing in particular on their right.

"You're pouting," your lips tremble, and you're trying your hardest not to smile. "I have to stay loyal. And I told you I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Yeah? Well, go back to your lover then," Athiel lifts their chin, but they don't meet your gaze, determined to sulk all night if they have to.

"I will," you nod slowly, processing your own words as you try to remember who is actually your lover.

Your face must betray your thoughts because Athiel narrows their eyes at you. "Sorry won't cut it."

"C'mon, I was... joking, mostly..." you try to get away with it with that laugh that people have when they're drunk. You grimace when you're met with a glare from your lover. "I'm sorry..."

"I don't care," Athiel clicks their tongue as they walk past you.

Your hand shoots forward to grab their hand and interlace your fingers as you walk beside them. "I'm sorry... I'm just too drunk, like, really drunk."

"I don't care," they repeat, but their fingers tightening around yours like a lifeline proves otherwise. "You better remember who's your woman/man next time. I'm not dealing with your stupid brain every time you drink too much."

"Yes, ma'am/sir," you hum, bringing your linked hands up to leave a kiss against their skin, something that earns a blush on their face that never gets old to admire.

[cozycottagetarot]

Your First 'Argument' With Them

Notes:

This rather light hearted (save one pile) reading explores the cause and resolution of your first significant argument/fight/tiff with your person.

The energies for you and your person could be potentially switched. For a few piles it felt like the reaction could belong to swapped between the two of you.

This was one of those readings where a lot of info only sorted itself out as I did each section so you really have to stick with me on this one haha.

There's some brief language in pile 3 & 4.

This reading is for entertainment purposes only! ✨

LINKS: Reading Masterlist | Dividers | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Paid Readings — Open 🫧

Pile 1

The Incident/Cause 

Cards: Two of Swords, The World, Queen of Swords, The Chariot 

Your first argument with your person is around a significant and potentially life changing decision that needs to be made. The decision can shape how you two move forward and close out a cycle but the conflict arises because you two have two opposing opinions or desires. There are a lot of different scenarios here however, so keep in mind the details will vary greatly from person to person. It could also be that one person is hesitant while the other is more self-assured. The other scenario I’m picking up on is maybe you (could be them) feel pressured by a time frame in what the decision needs to be made. Another situation that comes to me is being given an ultimatum. In general there’s an energy of stalling and needing to get moving. Sneaky ten of swords was hiding out in the deck! The vibes could be off and hurtful words exchanged. It could be a situation that makes or breaks the relationship.

The Resolution 

Cards: Ace of Wands, Five of Wands, Seven of Wands reversed, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles 

This might get worse before it reaches a fiery climax and gets better. Quite honestly your person may become more intolerable and you might find yourself fighting to keep your cool. I don’t get a really intense fight though, just being majorly annoyed. You may both turn to your friends to get advice/help or a third party may help you both resolve the conflict. 

In the end, you and your person will try to come up with a solution that works for both of you. They may or may not confess their feelings for you… it depends on your relationship.

Curious about their reaction, your reaction, and the long-term impact on your relationship? 🌟 Dive into the details in the extended version, available to all tiers on my Patreon! 💖✨ Don't miss out! 🌠

Pile 2

The Incident/Cause 

Cards: Knight of Pentacles, The Lovers, Temperance, Knight of Swords, The Patient Witch, The Magician

The relationship is moving too slowly for someone. One person is comfortable with the pace and the other is like – “okay, um, what are we doing”. The relationship could be what each of you desires but one of you is more laid back and the other is a go-getter… very driven. I’m also getting a cancelled date and one person keeps saying “I want more”. Someone is spoiled by or wants to be spoiled with the other’s love and intention! The other person gives everything, just you know… slowly!

The Resolution 

Cards: Ten of Wands, Page of Swords, Good Luck (Wheel of Fortune) Five of Wands, Ten of Cups 

You two will eventually decide to stop making things so difficult for yourselves. You're only clashing because you can’t see you have to actively figure things out together. The resolution is that things will pick up the pace. It will require you both to turn within though as it seems like the resolution is internal work that in the end pushes you two forward. 

For one of you, it’s about opening up and being vulnerable while for the other it’s about realising you’re allowed to receive. Kind of like the disconnect comes from lack of give and take (it’s there but imbalance). So once that is realised internally it can create a more secure and faster-moving flow. 

Curious about their reaction, your reaction, and the long-term impact on your relationship? 🌟 Dive into the details in the extended version, available to all tiers on my Patreon! 💖✨ Don't miss out! 🌠

Pile 3

The Incident/Cause 

Cards: The Sun, Ace of Wands, King of Pentacles, The Chariot, Seven of Pentacles 

*If you were drawn to pile two I highly suggest checking that out!

I’ve been fighting for my life on this one Pile 3. I kept doing this pile looking for the source of the first (major) argument or even disagreement but the story wasn’t adding up to anything bad. You two may be a couple that works through disconnects (cause at the point that’s all I can call it) right away. The other piles had arguments with breaks but I get that vibe of you two always working to be on the same page or at least understand each other in the moment. 

But I still need to give you something so I decided to focus on the causes of general conflicts between you two. 

You two may have conflicts/disconnects over expectations of what your lives should look like and even that seems super mild. It’s like ‘maybe life should look like XYZ → but oh wait I’m actually happy with what I have’… you two may have to shed the stories you’ve been told and keep working on what you have together and individually because you’re happy. 

You guys might also be slow to get together as a couple. It felt like a waiting game in one of the previous pulls. Like you’re both hurt from previous experiences but also sure about your feelings for each other but unsure they’re reciprocated. So it’s a ‘will they won’t they’ kind of thing. You may run the risk of being “the one that got away”. 

How Are Conflicts Resolved

Cards: Ace of Cups, Five of Swords, Seven of Wands, Ten of Wands, Seven of Cups 

Conflicts may be so rare and few that you guys would definitely take it to heart. But I’m getting “I choose you you this lifetime and the next”. You two make a conscious decision to be in it together forever. You resolve conflicts through curiosity and a desire to understand each other. It’s like ‘this is the love of my life’ and “I don’t care, we’re getting through this together”. You naturally seek to understand each other and hold one another accountable. 

Curious about their reaction, your reaction, and the long-term impact on your relationship? 🌟 Dive into the details in the extended version, available to all tiers on my Patreon! 💖✨ Don't miss out! 🌠

Pile 4

‼️ Before you read: This pile has a theme of self confidence and possible anxiety/mental health issues.

The Incident/Cause 

Cards:  Queen of Wands reversed,m Ace of Wands, Good Luck Charm, Nine of Wands, Ten of Swords, Strength 

This feels a bit messy (post-reading– but not really lol)…  someone could have some self-confidence issues here. There’s also some energy of preferring to be alone rather than out with/around other people. 

This fight was ‘bound’ to happen, but at the same time, it’s in your hands? It’s more of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It also has this vibe of being manageable to out of control and needing intervention.  Someone, (likely you but this is one of those piles where the roles could be reversed), could have significant trauma or some anxiety/mental health issues going on. 

Self-love is the issue and it causes a lot of worrying and isolation. It’s so hard to articulate this ‘softly’ which makes it even more challenging. Let's say Person A struggles but Person B can’t see why. In B’s eyes, A is the most gorgeous, passionate, fun, loving person ever. A and B may bicker a lot about the topic but I see this tension swelling and some hurtful things might be said. I think you two may also end up either taking space or separating for a little bit (like days more than weeks). 

The Resolution 

Cards: Page of Swords, Seven of Wands, Knight of Cups, Three of Swords, Queen of Swords, The Chariot 

Your person is going to want to hear your story. You two could end up having a bit of a heart-to-heart. They’re going to work with you to help you get yourself back to a good place again (so supporting you being your own rescuer). They’ll be your accountability partner and cheerleader along the way, standing by your side as you learn to step into your power again. It might happen faster than you think it will, but it doesn’t mean you won’t falter. But when you do you’ll bounce back quicker.

Curious about their reaction, your reaction, and the long-term impact on your relationship? 🌟 Dive into the details in the extended version, available to all tiers on my Patreon! 💖✨ Don't miss out! 🌠

[callizinc]

thinking Thoughts today about the whole "Auction Day" part of dream bbq, so allow me to give Hopefully Not the most obvious analysis ever. I'm thinking specifically about the difference in color palette between the video series and DBBQ:

The ena videos, for the most part, all have environments of cool colors—grays, pale blues, some pale greens, etc, or at least the areas that seem to be "Outside" are in that palette. Dream bbq meanwhile is very heavy on warm colors, with most of the places that are "outside" being made up of browns, reds, and oranges. Even for the areas that don't have this palette, There are no areas that strongly match the video series's locations.

The only time we see a pale blue and gray palette is during the "Auction day" part, after we turn the smoke off, and the Uncanny Streets, somehow, for some reason, turn into... This. Most of its inhabitants disappear (or turn into something else...?), the landscape changes, etc.

Of course, this implies that the Auction Day video takes place in a scenario like this—possibly not exactly the same place, but something that was once something else now Transformed into... that place... for some reason. Like the reason they're auctioning things off in the first place is because things from that place no longer have owners and are free for the taking for new profiteers.

But i also think this might mean that ALL the locations we saw in the video series (except for Power of Potluck...?) had the same thing happen to them as the Uncanny Streets, ie they're All the transformed version of what was once a much different place.

My evidence for this is mostly—again—the color palette, which i DO think is valuable evidence since we all know how talented and, imo, Deliberate the artists of this project are. Classic Ena's world was all blues and grays, and even in videos like the Extinction Party, the landscape looks awful similar to Auction Day.

One caveat is I'm not sure whether the reason the landscape transformed like this was specifically because the Smoke turned off, or because the Door closed/was closing. (like clearly the door closed Because of the smoke turning off but. still. Shrug)

My other caveat to this theory is Temptation Stairway, as a lot of the places Ena visits there look NOTHING like this, but since she only gets to those areas after entering the "Holy Code" AND after seemingly entering another Door, it seems like those places are in some entirely different location.

(Also, the insane amount of mannequins in Temptation Stairway could support that that area's another wasteland, given... Whatever the hell seems to be the deal with the mannequins/the mannequins and Ena, but um. Idk where else to take that 😭)

Also lastly i know that Power of Potluck looked nothing like this. The only landscape we see in that video is pitch black. I have no idea what this means, if anything. Idk maybe ena just went on a vacation

NEVERTHELESS, I am not entirely sure whether "Classic Ena probably lived in a world of post-apocalyptic wastelands" means anything in specific at the moment but. Well. Would that be fucked up or what LOL. If anything:

It supports the interpretation that DBBQ is a prequel to the video series, but I'm definitely not entirely convinced of this; I personally doubt that the games and the series's relation to each other will be as straightforward as a prequel or a sequel, but what do i know

Maybe one of the reasons people fucking hate Ena so much is because she's accidentally done this to worlds before, or people Think she's done this to worlds before? but No matter the case, i... Doubt people's opinions will get any better of her after this 😭

[ameriatenebrae]

Updated version

Why was Bellamort always canon

Delphini Riddle;

I actually don’t believe Delphini was born in 1998. I think it was in 97.

The reason is that in the books, Bellatrix is absent from the entire book. (Except that event in Spinner’s End, which happened in the summer-autumn of 96 and after that we see Bellatrix at the Death Eater meeting, which happens in July 97 but that's in the Deathly Hallows).

That means Bellatrix was absent for at least nine or ten months in that book. You think that’s just a coincidence? And where was she?

In my opinion, after rereading the books for I don't know how many times now (xD) she was glued to LV, who was in my opinion, fully aware of her pregnancy. And since he was traumatized by his mother dying in childbirth (which is also implied in the books), it also makes sense that he wanted her by his side. Another thing is that he certainly didn’t want anyone to see her pregnant. Because I think the death eaters were aware of something going on between them two and LV didn’t want anyone to know that Bellatrix is, indeed, pregnant with his child.

Bella wasn’t there, when Dumbledore was killed. Which I consider strange, because if you like it or not, Bellatrix was a very powerful witch and the highest ranking death eater, considering Lucius failing LV over and over. And no, Snape wasn't the highest ranking either, since LV didn't trust him 100%. LV sent Peter Pettigrew to Spinner's End so he and Snape could spy on each other basically (xD, very mindful, Tom, very demure). (And do you know why? Because Bellatrix had been telling Tom constantly that she doesn’t trust Snape, it seemed like LV ignored her opinion but I think he rethought it and sent PP there just to be sure.)

So why on earth ?! From a strategical point of view, it doesn’t make sense for Bellatrix not to be there?! And LV was aware of that so it must’ve been his meant decision to not send her there.

Just think… It had to be something really, really important… She would’ve been there if it wasn’t.

Delphini could be born in May – June 97. (It would be actually ironic, if she was born the same day Dumbledore died, 30th June 1997… Just a thought!)

Bellamort;

Secondly, I know it’s hard for some people to accept this, but Voldemort did CARE… He maybe didn’t love her or maybe he did, in his own twisted way, because we aren’t talking about fairytale love with these two. But he certainly wasn’t ignorant towards her. (opposite of love). It was unhealthy and toxic but at the same time they were kindred spirits who just accepted each other and even tho LV would never say it out loud, they also needed each other.

“But hE TrEaTeD hER BaDLy”

When exactly did Lord Voldemort treat Bellatrix badly? I can’t recall one time he was harsher to her than to other death eaters. And if you want to bring up that scene at Malfoy Manor, when he humiliated her and the Malfoys. You're right, he did, he enjoyed humiliating people. And yet, he took the shame from her in the next few sentances and focused solely on the Malfoys, because Lucius failed the Ministy mission, not Bellatrix. And he even made it up to her in the next paragraph. He didn't have a reason to be mad at her.

He actually treated her with the most respect he could.

He never punished her badly. Not so harshly like the Malfoys. She is described as unharmed after that fiasco at Malfoy Manor. And what’s more, she is by LVs side in public shortly after, whereas the Malfoys are home prisoned and I think Lucius might've been tortured even. He personally trained her, put his energy and time into her, because he saw potential in her. He saw her madness as a source for her powerful dark magic, not something she should suppress, that’s also why she was so devoted to him. Because he was the only person who respected her for who she was. Because in the end, they were both just two extremly broken souls (pun intended).

Further:

He was the happiest he had been in 14 years when she escaped from Azkaban. You may try to say that he was happy because he had 10 more death eaters. That would make sense if the other page wasn’t talking mainly about Bella. (Remember, JK Rowling was intentional when writing, it’s not a coincidence, that she’s focusing on Bellatrix after that statement. She chose every word of all their interactions and Harry's perspective on them intentionally).

He called her “Bella”, a short version of her name, that only few wizards, mainly her family used. He even called her Bella when he was angry about the borken prophecy.

She was the only one, who wasn't scared to speak first when talking to him or touch him even when he said no.

He entrusted her with his soul, whereas he gave the diary to Lucius just to get it to Hogwarts, never telling him that it’s his horcrux. But the cup was given to Bellatrix for protection. And it’s even symbolic, because that cup was Helga Hufflepuff’s, the founder of the Hufflepuff house which stands for loyalty… and who’s the most loyal servent of the Dark Lord?

He rescued her from the Ministry, I think that’s obvious. He certainly didn’t have to. And yet he did risk the whole operation and exposed himself to the whole Ministry. And we’re still talking about the most selfish man here… but he did it… and he did it just for HER, because he CARED. There’s no other logical explanation to this. He came the second she called him and rescued her because he didn’t want her in Azkaban again.

And you can see the difference in LV's behavior towards Bellatrix, Lucius and the other DEs. He didn't help Lucius to get out of Azkaban right away. Instead, he tasked his only son to kill a man, he himself wasn't able to kill simply to mock and torture him mentally.

Yes, from Dumbledore’s words, we were made to think that Tom really doesn’t care for anyone other than himself. But Dumbledore wasn’t aware of Bellatrix’s status at all! Because he didn’t suspect that Voldemort would give his horcrux to her. But we know, Voldemort did just that. And another problem with Dumbledore's preception on this is that he didn’t know much about Tom’s life (certainly not his private life) after his years at Hogwarts, so he couldn’t know about Tom’s realtionship with Bella. It was just his opinion, not a fact. He said, he *thinks*.

And Voldemort’s reaction to her death… That made everything clear, He cared for Bellatrix more than for the piece of his own soul living in Nagini. He had a worse reaction to Bellatrix's death than to, mind you, Nagini’s death… and she was HIS LAST HORCRUX. He lost the control of his magic (which doesn't happen often, since we're talking about THE Lord Voldemort here). He was so furious that McGonagall, Kingsley and Slughorn (all three very powerful wizards) were blasted through the air because: "Voldemort's fury at the fall of his last best lieutenant exploded with the force of a bomb. Voldemort raised his hand and directed it at Molly Weasley" he even tried to avenge her death and kill Molly. If Bellatrix hadn't meant so much to him, why would he waste his energy and time on killing Molly? Have you seen him avenging the death of someone else except Bellatrix? And if Harry didn't intervene, he would do just that. Because he lost it at that point. Death took another person (first his mother), who loved and admired him uncoditionally. All of his other DEs fleed or died. He knew he was alone and mortal. A human.

In my opinion they led, let's call it a Dual Relationship. As Bellatrix implies that LV tells her everything and yet he tells her to be quiet often. He calls her Bella when they're is just the two of them and mocks her in front of others. There's a disconnect between his behaviour towards her. So, in my deduction; there was Bellatrix Lestrange, the most loyal sevent of Lord Voldemort: which was basically their work mode. (And I'm a bit sad we didn't get more of their team work while fighting because I think they made an excellent work duo.) And then there was Bella and her Lord and their private life. Bellatrix wouldn't be against it being public, I'm sure about that. But I think LV didn't want others to know about him having some feelings or a soft spot for her, it would make both of them more vulnerable = since as you can see above, he lost control over his magic because of her dying. But he didn't manage to hide it that well because even Harry (from whose perspective are the books written) notices that there is something between them; "As to a lover"...

And on top of that, Bellatrix was the ideal match for Tom; a very beautiful, powerful witch from a pureblood family. Devoted solely to him.

So Bellamort had been canon even before the CC was released.

But the biggest question is; Why would Lord Voldemort want a child? A hard one… yes

Some explanations:

a) to continue with the Slytherin bloodline.

b) it was an accident, but he let Bellatrix keep the child, so she could be later trained into really powerful weapon (just like Bella)

c) it was that reward beyond Bellatrix’s dreams, he mentioned earlier in the series. He talked about it in the fourth book when he said that the Lestranges will be rewarded beyond their dreams.

d) last possibility, the most out of Voldemort’s character; In the case horcruxes failed, he would be still “alive” through his daughter. – I personally don’t believe this was the case… but who knows?

To sum it up: Bellamort makes more sense than people think. And the CC just confirmed it. period.

Delphini could be conceived around October 1996 and could be born, not in 1998, but in 1997 (before the Battle of Hogwarts). THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS <3

[destiny-smasher]

(Nemona getting totally blown off and stonewalled once again and trying to shrug it off once again, she's so determined! </3)

Since people on the Internet get fussy with this shit, let me state upfront these are my opinions, from the perspective of someone who shares a lot of personality traits in common with Nemona and used to be a lot like her in my younger years. Nemona's lying when she says Scarlet's behavior and needless secrecy doesn't bother her at all. She keeps enduring the neglect (and sometimes straight up abuse), because she thinks that's what Scarlet needs atm. It's hard to say how things will pan out atm imo.

The manga mischaracterizes Nemona in some ways for me -- or I guess it's more proper to say, I do not think the way the manga characterizes Nemona is as positive as the games. The manga so far really makes her out to be less mature, less healthy mentally/emotionally, and kind of a pushover who actively lets others step all over her. I don't prefer it lol

She experiences an 'invisible wall' between herself and everyone else. And Scarlet's behavior so far in PokeSpe would only exacerbate that -- BUT, the two could clearly have a very meaningful bonding if they both stick things through, in a way the game version of Nemona doesn't because the story forces the protag to more just go along with everything.

I want to believe the manga will eventually have Nemona learn to adapt to Scarlet, Scarlet slowly open herself up to Nemona over time, start doing GOOD for her in return, and heaven forbid, maybe even apologize for mistreating Nemona -- though I don't expect the latter for sure.

It can be very exhausting and draining to endure what Nemona is enduring, but if you have that determination and willpower to put up with someone's worse traits because you see the good in them, sometimes it's good to use that to be there for the other person.

Everyone's struggles are unique and people exhibit their flaws in different ways. Nemona is "too much" and Scarlet pushes back in hostile ways. Their personalities are potentially toxic for one another, tbqh, but there's so much value imo in them bridging that gap.

The core of most fictional relationships I genuinely care about and many of my real life ones is the idea of bridging the understanding gap, through communication and gestures and time spent together, where there is mutual growth and reassurance.

Because of how I've been mistreated in the past, it's REALLY difficult for me to look at Nemona/Scarlet even just as friends and not be very worried about them. They're not self-aware yet, much less mature enough to navigate their differences. But they COULD be.

Many of the most edifying and growth-defining relationships of my life were due to stark differences in personality being reconciled with mutual care, assurance, trust, and just plain holding on. I think these two can totally reach that. I just don't know if they WILL here.

Because the fact is, Scarlet's behavior is hurtful. She clearly has reasons she is this way, and sometimes you just gotta get that shit out. And having people strong enough to endure that shit can be valuable, even if you don't realize it at the time. But it's a fine line.

Scarlet seems to be dealing with mental health issues, or at the least neurodivergency -- and Nemona at least has the latter going on, too. That creates a lot of tension. But that also means they can be there for each other in a meaningful way if they can work that shit out.

At the current rate they're going, however, Scarlet's behavior isn't improving so far. It's like she just gets to be a jerk and 'get away with it' and everyone is supposed to be fine with that? Doesn't settle well with me, and Nemona sure doesn't deserve this treatment.

But at the same time, Nemona IS one of those rare people with the willpower and stubborn determination to keep being there for Scarlet in spite of things not going well for a while -- even a long while. She sees the good in Scarlet even if Scarlet doesn't.

The manga has NOT done much at all so far to sell us on Scarlet/Nemona working out even just as friends, but it feels deliberate how their dynamic has been set up. So I want to have hope there, but it does remind me a bit too much of stuff from my past, so I get trepidatious.

In a way, part of Operation Comet Punch (my long fic) entails exploring that very trepidation and (I hope) coming up with at least one 'version' of reconciling things in a healthy, mutually supportive way for everyone involved (and that goes beyond just Nemona and Scarlet).

I hope the manga can figure out ways to do this, too. Because I like the idea of Nemona and Scarlet at least becoming good friends over time. It's just difficult to see right now if you're being pragmatic.

"Desma this is a manga primarily targeting middle school boys wtf are you talking about"

Look, between my own fanfic about these characters and my real life experiences, I can't help but analyze and try to be optimistic on all fronts. I get triggered a bit by 'toxic yuri' and this is reminding me of that, but I want to believe in it EVOLVING beyond that (pun intended). And I know it can.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Hey anon here

I know I will be sounding very stupid here and as much as I love being a delulu fan but I know how the bl industry works and as for a fact the entire entertainment Business for that matter, it's about engagement and fan services, I saw almost all the couples of gmmtv put stories about their dates and how they celebrated their valantine with each other but then realistically speaking I know for a fact most of it was fan service coz no way each cp in a company is dating each other so what's your take on this whole thing, also I'm not saying they are faking it or something like if some of them are dating then that's really good but all of them it's hard to believe

Also I'm a firstkhao fan and well as much as I wanted them to post something just to feed my delulu but then they didn't and that's so them and how many chances do you think of them dating two different people is true as I saw on fan speaking about it and I know it was for fun but then why not it's their Life after all and we are just fans who live them together

Hi anon.

So, I’m not going to say I know much about how CPs and the entertainment business work.

However, I think you are right in saying that most official CPs (and even some who are not - like Kapook and Ciize!! 😉) put up some sort of photoshoots or coupl-y type of activities (either going for dinner/sunset dates or making reels of giving each other beautiful bouquet of flower etc.) are doing a level of fanservice - be it for the fans to squeal over, promoting their upcoming series or to attract engagement to better their work prospects.

But I also feel most of these CPs are genuine friends in real-life and for them, doing these sorts of activities are fun for them. After all, you get to hang out with a close friend whom you cherish, even if you have to put up a photo (or 2) +/- video reels on your social media as an “obligatory post.”

What I do feel somehow sad for the CPs are when fans (+ media outlets) keep asking insistently “what are your plans with so and so?” - I’m pretty sure JoongDunk got asked multiple times these questions leading up to Valentine’s Day. And then asked again during their recent work event on 14/02/25 - what their Valentine’s dinner plan is? What gifts did the boys buy each other? How do you guys show each other your love? (Or something to that effect) - cause I saw Dunk (to his credit he was very professional), answering that Joong’s way to show love is by physical affection while he showed his by cooking/baking with Joong always the first one to taste his food.

Maybe I’m in the minority, but my personal opinion - if the CPs want to tell us, they can do so without anyone else badgering them about it through their social media posts at their own time and choosing.

As for FirstKhaotung (they are also my OTP 😂anon!!!)…I admit I was puzzled when the fans are disappointed about the lack of “Valentine updates” from them.

Firstly, both boys wished the fans “Happy Valentine’s Day” on Twitter (even if First was trolling us with a picture of P’Tha in the middle of him and Khaotung 🤣)

Secondly, both boys posted IG updates of them wishing the other Valentine’s Day with song choices that I could only interpret as love confession to each other… 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Thirdly, are we all that surprised the boys don’t put up videos/pictures of them giving each other flowers/chocolates? (Or doing couple photoshoots?) - I get the feeling they are just happily nesting in Khaotung’s brand new house with 3 fur babies around them while playing video games after perhaps brunch/lunch + shopping together (cause let’s be honest, that will be their version of a perfect Valentine’s Day).

So , Iike you anon - I am not surprised by the minimal Valentine posts/photos from them (in fact, I was pleasantly shocked the IG posts from them happened at all - which led me into more delulu land hahah)

As for them actually dating another person 🤷🏽‍♀️…who knows. If/when it happens, I’ll cheer them on. However, all I know is that whoever is dating First/Khaotung, will actually be dating them as a set rather than one person 😂. My head canon is that F/K going on a date with someone, and the bestie who is NOT on that date will just tag along anyway 🤸 …

[frogs-in3-hills]

What’s your opinion on 03 Raph? And do you feel canon should have given him and Mikey a bonding episode? Like how junklantis was about Mikey and Don

thanks for the fun questions anon! sorry for forgetting to answer them for over a year. </3

yeah i love 03 raph a lot and after having stepped out of tmnt fandom space a bit i can def say i have settled with raph as my fav. something about the way he's written as highly reflective, introspective, and generally emotionally intelligent without the narrative having to underline it, instead leaving it as more subtle, elegant characterization, and avoiding the trap of going too far in the other direction & making him feel too preternaturally mature. it is infact his emotional disregulation that results in him constantly turning inwards and seeking so much to find his place in the world! he is just so fifteen in a way that feels rlly grounded to me (and erm not to peddle my fanfiction but i wrote about this a while ago and it's pretty good imo). i know a lot of people say the 03 turtles feel like adults but because of raph's characterization i can't rlly say i agree.

i also personally get a lot of mileage out of the somewhat understated parallels between him and splinter, in many ways they are like fundamentally the same person without the show ever needing to spell it out, and just. augh. 03 overall shows a lot of respect for raph's intelligence that other versions just don't, and through him, 03 also shows respect for itself and its ability to imbue a certain delicate touch in areas where it typically doesn't, if that makes sense. even its more obvious statements about his character (him crying in tales of leo comes to mind) end up feeling nuanced and meaningful. when speaking towards the actual quality of the show, people often point toward's leo's seasons-spanning character arc, which is really good obviously, but imo raph is where 03 is at its best. or at least, at its most appealing to my personal tastes

hmm. i feel like the second question is a little leading. ;p i certainly wouldn't have complained, but if we're talking about how 03 might have strengthened the bond between raph & mikey (and indeed i do think the writers could have done more with it considering that them being best friends comes up multiple times in supplementary material--likely a holdover from mirage--but the show itself doesn't lend as much support to their friendship as it does for other duos), i wouldn't personally think of a junklantis-type episode to remedy it. maybe i'm biased because i just don't like that one (the fatphobia is unbearable, amongst other things), but generally, 03 is structured such that characters receive one-on-one episodic focus, rather than the show spending a lot of time deeply exploring a certain relationship with intention. i think this is why the brothers' relationships feel (allegedly) healthier in 03, because barring a few significant exceptions, the narrative is focused on external conflicts with the boys as a unit, and doesn't have time to give conflicts between the boys as much weight as they would require.

so 03's relationship development ends up happening in the background of other, broader plot threads, or within the context of larger issues. which is ultimately to say, raph and mikey DO have a "bonding" episode/arc, grudge match. it's actually one of my favorites because it says a lot about both of them individually and their relationship w each other, and it shows the two in conflict without it overtaking the episode or feeling catastrophic (like inter-brother conflicts have felt in other arcs like city at war), because it's genuinely funny. another example of 03's effective relationship building is in notes from the underground (or is it return?), where the little bits w mikey and donny trying to figure out the crystal rlly succinctly encapsulates their differences in thinking & how they interact. it's cute! meanwhile, junklantis doesn't do anything for me, tell me anything new about the characters, or feel grounded in the aesthetic of this world. the premise of "pluck up two characters and stick them in an isolated situation" doesnt fit 03's mode of character development. so if i had to pick a way the show could have developed raph & mikey some more, i'd rather it be in little pieces sprinkled throughout. i think this is a strength of--or at least something unique about--tmnt03 that i'd prefer to preserve in this hypothetical world where i have control over its writing :p so all in all, i agree with the sentiment, but the lack of a raph&mikey-centric episode doesn’t really pop up on my radar as a shortcoming of the series. sorry for the yap sesh. ^-^;

[orpitafish]

the phantomlyn theory cause i am. Insane.

As seen in the comic, it's made very apparent that the children are becoming increasingly connected to the phantoms. However Ashlyn's connection is. INSANELY DIFFERENT than the other kids. She's been able to hear the phantom dimension for YEARS. Ashlyn is quite literally a cursed child. However in recent chapters she seems to suddenly switch to a separate personality. One with a big grin and one that I suspect has BEEN there. 

Ashlyns phantom alter ego originally shows up way back when season two first started weekly uploads. While the phantom theory is pretty solid, I believe that this wasn't just something that the series started to hint at during the current season, but rather WAY back during the original canvas uploads of the series. While it's hard enough to find any canvas content due to it being practically wiped off the universe, There was a small bit of canvas art of Ashlyn looking oddly phantom-like. (Yes, I know using the canvas version as evidence isn't exactly a smoking gun, but they have the same premise. LET ME COOK.)

It's also worth noting that while each kid seems to be turning into a phantom, Ashlyn is the only one who seems to switch between the two at random notices. The other kids strange phantom versions only show up when they've died in the phantom world, which Ashlyn CLEARLY hasn't done. Ashlyn's phantom alter ego really only shows up as some sort of protective mechanism, which isn't the same with the others.

If I had to guess, her phantom version has been with her since the very beginning of the time loops in the phantom dimension, maybe even earlier. She seems to forget anything she thinks while her phantom side is out aswell, implying she's only semi-conscious during these strange switches. 

While none of these are true smoking guns, another piece of evidence I found was in the official SBG playlists made by red herself. While most songs are simply to fit the thriller theme of the comic, others seem to be hints to direct characters. Happy Face, for example, hinting at Aiden. However there's one song that stood out to me, that of which being Two Face by Jake Daniels. Any FNAF fan would recognize this song from that one sun and moon animation, however it being in the official SBG playlist... is a little strange. This could simply be implying any of the kids, but it doesn't really make sense. While the fight with Barron and his friends imply that the kids are slowly turning INTO phantoms, the times they actually switch into phantom-like personalities are by death. Ashlyn is currently the only one who experiences a complete personality switch without dying at all. 

This being said, Ashlyn's weird connection to the phantom dimension, and the fact that she was stated by Jasmine to have a huge connection with the rift. (Her connection also seemed to keep the group from becoming comatose when they were first dragged into the rift aswell.) leads me to believe that Ashlyn's weird alter ego has always been with her, however wasn't able to have a stable enough connection to take over Ashlyn until they became stuck in the phantom dimension.

In my opinion, Ashlyn's Phantom alter ego doesn't seem to be exactly evil. She literally saves Ashlyn's life and seems to cut out any negative thoughts Ashlyn may be having. (Reference to when Ashlyn lightly contemplates self-unaliving only for Phantomlyn to jump in like 3 panels later.)

Yes this was written bad it's currently 12am and i wrote this on my ipad. Take screenshots of evidence with my written commentary

[panelshowsource]

my girl was on the brink of disassociating ⚰️⚰️ LMAO i can't believe how long she lasted — she was the dark horse imo!! PROUD OF U HARRIET

eeeee i got this question a few times and it's so hard to choose!

this series had more or less exclusively big, mainstream comedians, and since they're all in a similar tier of activity (mostly television work) they've worked together a lot before and clearly know each other outside of the show. obviously there are a few exceptions but it was pretty clear how close a lot of them are irl. that makes for the best combination of people imo—you want at least some people who are either friends already and know how to get each other, or a lot of people who at least are fans of each other's comedy so they'll be susceptible to laughing. in my opinion, one stranger having to learn what makes another stranger laugh isn't as engaging — especially in 6 30-minute episodes — as people who, right off the bat, want to laugh just from looking at each other. because that's so cute!

that makes me think it's important to cast a group with these dynamics, which is why i see why you'd choose people who are friends already like ed and james. if it were up to me hmmmm well i said this before but i think a james vs rhod would be iconic, so if we were going that route sprinkling in a few frends like jess knappett, ed gamble, john kearns, alex horne, rose matafeo, rosie jones, and/or sam campbell would be the way forward imo. i also love the idea of jon richardson (who is gigglier than a lot of people realise) vs russell howard, and jon is good buddies with alex, which is cute too hehe what about paul foot? he's hilarious just to look at let alone to talk to. natasia vs jamie demetriou? jamie is also so good at making hilarious faces

i'd want at least one undeniably hilarious, universally loved wildcard (like bob was this series imo), like vic reeves, johnny vegas, liza tarbuck, sally phillips, lee mack, alan carr, or (maybe ultimate picks for me) matt berry or catherine tate. limmy (PIPE DREAM), fatiha el-ghorri, and nick helm would also be agents of chaos i just know it!! and you know i want to see my girl jess hynes in anything i can it's so annoying she's busy being a Real And Very Talented Esteemed Actor instead of doing endless series of outsiders

since everyone loves a challenge, when you think about a few people who reeeeeally really really don't crack, who else comes to mind? maybe jack dee or jo brand lmfao

and you know when they have the extra peeps like nick, alison, and danny come on to do lil bits? i think kevin bridges specifically would be a great shout, he could crack a lot of people i'm sure of it

so i know this isn't a dream line up per say but it is my word vomit and it counts for something (ㅅ´ ˘ `) I'LL THINK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE...

i did watch the irish version and put it on my drive for you guys! it wasn't bad — i really love graham (who doesn't!!!) and the girlies were so funny & cute. it seemed like, compared to the uk version, there were a lot of BIG personalities and even big egos on the irish version. it felt a lot more competitive and focused on offense than the british version, where everyone was almost too scared of making themselves laugh to go super hard lmao there hasn't been an american version, which surprises me, but mae was on the english canadian one, and i do recognise a lot of comics on that one! i'm not sure if i'll get around to watching it (i'm trying to watch more films in my free time) but if you guys really recommend it i'd def give it a try!

hahahahahahahaha well listen... it's a show about tension and about liking each other so much you just can't help it, so i get it!

i can't help that i'm suuuuuch a joe wilkinson fan it hurt my heart that he was out so early but at the same time the fact that he is so giggly is part of what i love about him! he's really good at supporting other comics and their bits with his enthusiasm. when he had to sit on the naughty step i knew he was ruined💔🕊️ lmaooo

i thought this was a great format for daisy, too! i can't remember who said this but she is so good at asking questions/starting convos and manipulating her face while listening lmao idk i thought she killed it

there are certain comics that you KNOW other comics completely fold for and every series of this (it's a massive hit come on we knowww it's getting renewed!) needs one of those people. my vote for the next one? MATT BERRY

hehe yes can do!

thanks cutie ♡(˃͈ ˂͈ )

—

➜ FAQ, where to watch, and more ➜ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[noxiatoxia]

I received this comment on my post about how Komaeda uses filler words from @spinecurlingmice (hope you don't mind the @ !) and it's a very good point!

"It makes him sound a lot more unsure"...I think this is very deliberate. My evidence being screenshots of a beta version of SDR2.

There exist a LOT of beta SDR2 screenshots on various old gaming article sites. One of the biggest ones is a page dedicated to SDR2 on Famitsu, which is still up today. (Sadly, DR1 does not have anything like this in regards to beta screenshots (that I know of)...I guess this makes up for the fact SDR2 never got a demo version.)

(Also FYI, trial screenshots in particular are edited to not spoil the game, including a P.T.A with Souda and Twogami being at the first trial. Still fun though.)

To the untrained eye these screenshots probably look just like the final game. But actually, almost every single sprite used in these screenshots are early, unfinished versions. Moreover, and what's actually more shocking: a fair amount of them have different text to the final game.

This is shocking because it's common for sprites/art to be the last thing finalized in game development. For a visual novel at least. Going back and editing text is a lot rarer. It gives great insight on what was changed, and we can extrapolate why.

(If you're wondering why I haven't made a post on this yet...it's because there's so many of these and I'm trying to find the corresponding moments in the final game for each screenshot before I make a post. It's very hard!)

Anyways, back to Komaeda...

These beta screenshots, no matter where they take place in the final game, will always have the timestamp say "Chapter 1" or "Prologue". Furthermore, not only can the text change...but the final sprite used might not even be the one seen in the beta screenshot.

Here is the same scene in the final release:

Different sprite, slightly different text. Still Chapter 1, though.

Here is the text:

BETA: むしろ、こんな時だからこそ、ボクらは互いに親交を深め合うべきだと思うんだ。 FINAL: むしろ、こんな時だからこそ、ボクらは互いに親交を深め合うべきかもしれないよ。

In the beta version, Komaeda says da to omou n da at the end of his sentence. In the final version, they went back and rewrote this to make him say kamoshirenai yo.

Here's how I would phrase it in English...

BETA: In fact, it is precisely at times like these that I believe we should be deepening our friendship with one another. FINAL: In fact, it is precisely at times like these that we should probably be deepening our friendship with one another.

The change deliberately makes him sound less sure. In the beta, it sounds like he's saying, "This is what I believe, firmly. It's just my opinion though. Just because I think it's true doesn't mean you have to." but in the final version it's changed to get the feeling of "I believe this, but I'm still a little unsure myself. I think it's possible, but I could be totally wrong..."

And this isn't the only beta screenshot like this!

Thankfully, the beta and final both use the same sprite here. Of course, the beta is an earlier version (look at his hand in both pictures. One is clearly more detailed).

Both screenshots have largely the same text...except the particle at the end.

The beta has Komaeda use yo at the end. while he uses ne in the final version. Yo makes it sound like a statement of fact, while ne makes him sound more soft in his assertion.

BETA: Since the cow was raised on a tropic island, It might be really tasty. FINAL: Since the cow was raised on a tropical island, maybe it could be really tasty, right?

Considering we have proof of these changes right in front of us, I think Komaeda's usage of sa and ne is no accident (other than to reflect Naegi). They clearly had an image for his personality they wanted to get across to the point of making such minute changes like this.

These have actually been very helpful for my re-translation efforts as it gives me a clear idea of what the writers prioritized in the characters. If I may ramble, here's one that was very important to me:

Both version have the same text, but different punctuation. The "..." at the end was changed to just 。but more importantly, they removed the commas. Commas are technically optional in listing items (as Mioda is doing here) so when I read this in the final game, I thought, "OK, I'll translate it with commas because in English, lists usually need commas." (The official ENG version has her use commas as well.)

But then I saw this beta screenshot, and it clicked that they removed the commas on purpose to show the player how fast Mioda talks. They could have just left them in, but they didn't. Needless to say, I've replaced the commas with "and" in my ENG version to reflect this.

It's little things like this that really opens my eyes to how I should be perceiving the way these characters talk. Sometimes, you don't really think about things like this until you see what could have been, and then you have to wonder, "Why change it? Was it that important?"

And I think it was to them. A character's whole personality is shaped by the little details in every interaction. I love beta stuff so darn much because it gives me better insight into these characters and why they are the way they are as of current. It helps me provide more accurate and faithful translations. And it's just fun trivia!

As always I talked for a while haha, but I hope this gives further insight into some of Komaeda's dialogue!

[ourtalechara]

... thoughts? (Full idea under cut)

What if someone who knows how to use vocal synths like. Made a vocaloid version of Hamilton. Assign each member of the cast a character that sings for them. It'd probably be a community project if it happened, because that's a big undertaking, but it would also be more fun as a community thing. I don't really know how to use these programs, (I have tried to make Teto say things, and technically I have succeeded in making her say things) BUT I can brainstorm casting ideas with my limited knowledge of fanon Vocaloid personalities!

As indicated by the picture above Hatsune Miku would probably take the role of Hamilton. Her being the most popular Vocaloid makes her a prime candidate for title character. Also I just like the image above with Miku's silhouette on the star with her name.

Idk who Burr would be. Flower maybe? Off the top of my head. Is there someone who it would make sense to oppose Miku in the way that Burr does? An anti-miku? Neru? Nah, I've got better plans for Neru...

You can't spell Laurens without L en. You can spell Philip without it, but that doesn't matter, he's going to be playing that role anyway. It just feels kinda natural for me, as he's pretty young and boyish, which fits Philip, and I feel it fits Laurens too. There's no Len's-relationship-to-Miku-mirrors-Laurens-relationship-to-Hamilton to this or anything, I'm pretty sure that's the case for most of these.

Lafayette is Teto this is a fact. They're both so silly and they like baguettes they're the baguette bois I need this so bad someone give me a Teto cover of guns and ships and I will love you please I feel this in my soul.

Also, I like the idea of Teto in the second act wearing a flashy red coat and debating with Miku in the cabinet. She's perfect for this role.

Mulligan/Madison? Uh. Idk. Again. Flower? Again? Maybe Fukase? I will probably form a stronger opinion on this/borrow someone else's opinion later.

The Schuyler Sisters!

I'd say MEIKO has good strong eldest sister energy fit for Angelica. Also they're both red.

For Eliza, my first instinct is to say Luka, although there's also a voice in my head saying Gumi, and there's also probably someone outside of my head who has another idea that might be better. ?

Rin has big "and Peggy" vibes.

For Washington I want to say KAITO or Guackpo, like, a tall, imposing man. KAITO would be perfect if it weren't for the fact that in most fan works I've seen, KAITO's pretty goofy, and Washington really isn't. I think that that's probably just bias though, he's not always like that. He could make a great Washington. Idk much about Guackpo but it could probably fit. He's a samurai. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything, but maybe it could.

Philip Schuyler as Neru. I initially thought of this as a joke, as Schuyler doesn't speak a word himself, and Neru has no official voicebank (I personally headcanon her as mute), but Neru as his second act counterpart, James Reynolds, could be really interesting? Neru hates Miku so much that she decides to extort her for money and ruin her career? It feels very in character for Neru to do some of this stuff in a way, it just feels right I guess.

So that's. Most of the main characters. Or all of them. Unless I'm forgetting someone. I have no ideas for side characters other than the Neru ideas. I feel like the utau default voice whose name I don't know off the top of my head should be in there somewhere. Maybe. Maybe the one with the big blue thing on her head. The young one. In positive dance time. Idk there's lots of Vocaloids and lots of characters (but there's more Vocaloids) and I need to end this post now goodbye.

[bobbin-buckley]

Jinx and Isha Headcanons

Older Sister Jinx x Little Sister Isha

Summary: Headcanons and short oneshots of what they could have been

Warnings: Platonic Jinx x Isha ofc, Mentions of violence, No Reader in this, basically if Jayce wasn’t a dumbass, Arcane 2 Spoilers, some of my own thoughts

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-Ever since Isha had fell on top of Jinx, they both found something in each other that made them see a different picture in life

-Isha was like Powder to Jinx. The little version of herself that supposedly fell down a well.

-Jinx didn’t understand why the younger girl decided to follow her around. Was it because she was her fan like other Zaunties? Was she looking for remorse? Or did the young girl find a motherly or sisterly figure in Jinx

-Isha probably had some kind of guardian or parental figure before but they may have died, so when Isha saw Jinx she looked up to her as a guardian or parental figure of sorts

-Jinx would have put up barriers in her room to make sure Isha wouldn’t fall

-Isha draws on Jinx’s face when she sleeps, and they both do this to Sevika when she sleeps

-Making up fun games to play or being artsy together

-Jinx teaching Isha how to make guns and bombs, but also keeping a close eye on her

-Playing hide and seek and tag def

-^^Convincing Sevika to play with them

-They’d both love slime and playing Minecraft together in modern au

-Both would definitely prank Pilties

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Okay, so, this is mainly going to be my opinions that me and @jybyls have came up with and talked together about that Isha is probably deaf or nerve deaf.

For a bit I thought maybe she was mute but with more hints in the show of her being deaf I think I’m leaning more towards her being deaf

Yes she screams a few times in the show but Mute people are either unable to speak or they choose not to speak.

But I’m my opinion I think she’s deaf, and I’ll explain why

After Jinx dyes Isha’s hair blue, and is talking to her about her being similar to younger Jinx (Powder) and what not. Isha isn’t replying or reacting to Jinx’s words because her back is faced to Jinx and isn’t lip reading or hearing her

Also, a couple of times you can see Isha looking at peoples lips when they are talking, a good example is when Jinx and Isha first meet

Now, I’ve seen where someone has said she could also be nerve deaf. Nerve deaf is when someone is barely able to hear, a nerve deaf person can only hear super loud or close sounds but not quiet or far sounds.

I think this because when Sevika gets her knee arm and the music plays, Jinx is doing a little dance and you can see Isha looking at her kinda confused. Well it’s because Isha can’t hear the music because Sevika is a bit far from them (credits to rexx____9 on TikTok for this theory)

Also another one is when Vi is talking to Jinx and Victor about (idk) and Isha doesn’t react to any of it BECAUSE VI’S BACK IS TO HER

Annnnnnd thanks to @jybyls for this, she found that Isha did a little bit of sign language to Jinx when they were playing their little bug game:

This means ‘rematch’ in American Sign Language

I’m not saying this is canon for anything but I like to think that Isha is deaf or nerve deaf

These are some headcanons and opinions for now but I can make more!