#i have school...

[candyguts336]

I

LOVE

YOUR

ART

Uwaaaah Thank youuu

I am very glad that my first post was so well received and everything!

I will try my best to keep up this blog and post more art of anything i like, and i hope everyone is okay with it <3

[goomyloid]

Ok like whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[owlpero]

free will is all about headcanoning your faves as autistic

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[sabertoothwalrus]

modern au laios

[nariarts]

Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.

Whatever. Understand or don't.

[kayberrie]

he bites

[gilsart]

math nation does this happen to you too

[nutmargaret]

favorite uncle

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[vinceaddams]

John Thingpenter's THE CARP (horror story about river ecology)

[sillywillyco]

nightwing🩵💙

[luvcaleb]

18+ (nsfw) thoughts about caleb living his horny teenager self's dream. contains pseudocest, usage of gege, and fantasies of underage sex (because, again, caleb was a horny teenager). if you feel uncomfortable reading this kind of content, please scroll away. (this is straight up porn lol what is plot)

during spring cleaning, you come across your old high school uniform tucked away in a little, dusty box. the uniform that caleb has very strong feelings for.

because as it so happens, high school was probably the horniest period of caleb's life. it also happens to be the most repressed period of his life because laying a finger on his precious "little sister" would be several degrees immoral.

you probably have no idea how much that goddamn skirt has tormented him in the past, but you can see an excited glimmer in his eyes. yes, that period of his life has passed. his desire, however, has not waned in the slightest.

so of course you spend the following afternoon reenacting every one of his dirty fantasies, dressed in your uniforms.

pushing you down the bed the moment you arrive home after school. sucking down your neck as he fondles your tits over your shirt, humping against your panties. rubbing his cock over your clothed pussy, soaked with how wet you are.

caleb grabs your ponytail when you give him a blowjob, because that's how you always tied up your hair back then. groans when you rub his cock between your tits, straight out of the stupid porn he used to watch, the tip peeking out your breasts drooling with precum. he binds your wrists together with his tie before he eats you out so you can't resist while he laps at your clit, plunging three fingers inside your cunt, not stopping even when his jaw gets tired until he's made you squirt on his tongue.

he makes you sit on his face, his nose rubbing against your clit, licking up all the cum and slick from your pussy. breathes in your erotic scent as he's trapped between your plump thighs and your skirt, uncaring if he suffocates. he pushes you back to his mouth with his evol each time you try to run away, begging you to squirt on his face again, pleading that he has to taste you.

and after all of that, caleb still hasn't had enough. because there's no end to his desire, bottled up since he could remember. he can't imagine a time he'll ever be satisfied.

he doesn't really take off any part of your uniform, no. he bunches up your shirt to grope at your bare tits, flips up your skirt, pulls your panties to the side so he can thrust his cock to your pussy.

caleb fucks you from behind, pulling out in time before he can cum, just so he could rub his dick and spill his thick load all over your clothed ass. he lets you ride him as you hold up your school skirt, giving him the full view of your cunt swallowing his girthy cock, streams of your wetness gliding down his veins. he watches your face twist in pleasure with unrestrained delight, giving you a little help by pounding at the spot that drives you crazy, and isn't surprised by the spray of squirt that comes out of you for the nth time that day, soaking his shirt and the sheets below.

"fuck, pips," he groans, still fucking up to your cunt as you cum messily all over him. "should i have done this before? huh? would you have enjoyed this back then if i just pushed you down and fucked you like the slut you are?"

"ahn, yes, fuck!" your tongue lolls out of your mouth, eyes rolled back. "i, haah, thought about this too, mmgh, fuuuck... being gege's little slut...!"

"yeah?" caleb pants, pinching your clit. "you wanted to be gege's cumdump? fucked everyday just to please me?"

"ah, ah, yeah, mm, yes, more..." you spread your legs wider, showing him more of your pussy overflowing with cum. "anything for gege...!"

his lips quirk into a manic smile. "then stay like this for a little longer." caleb gives your thigh a mean slap, making you whine. "show gege what you've got."

[marimopup]

Based on this one time I tried to have an adult conversation with my mom