#i just. found this in my drafts. hhhh-

[spirit-lanterns]

I just had a thought...

Firefly transforming into Sam getting ready go fuck us.

But then the screws holding the dick are too loose for some reason

And the it just falls.

*Falling metal pipe sound*

**Silence.**

It's 3AM, don't ask.

🐉

This is a really old ask but I was scrolling through my drafts and found it again. (Also I'm typing this on my laptop so no emojis sadly)

HHHH IMAGINE FIREFLY GETTING EMBARRASSED WHEN HER METAL DICK JUST COMES LOOSE AND COLLAPSES TO THE FLOOR. It's so loud too, just clanging against the hardwood and making you jump so bad that poor Firefly feels guilty and vows to always double check her dick screws.

Never again...

[ravenzfeatherz]

1920s!guitarspear AU >:D

aaaayyyyy i finally feel like i can yap about this!! and before anyone says anything i know that i forgot adam’s beard on two of the sketches, if you could just ignore that for me that’d be fab lol

guitarspear but 1920s america, anyone?? i’ve always been kind of obsessed with the prohibition era and speakeasies in the US even though i live 9 hours by plane away from you lot (sending love from scotland lmfao), and reading astardanced’s tsfgae fic “gin mills and the goods” only solidified that like a year ago when i first found it. couple that with my brand new shiny guitarspear obsession, and a sprinkle of inspiration from deadgirlwalking91, and you’ve got yourself a potential fic idea.

i’ve not done much on it, but the basic synopsis i have to go off of right now, put simply, is: adam is a pathetic divorcé who is far too desperate to get his ex, lilith, who is a bootlegger and a criminal, back into his life, and makes a deal with her which traps him spying in on an illegal speakeasy. complete with gangsters. oh, and one of those gangsters is lute. also she has a gun. they all have guns. they all want to shoot each other. and adams gonna have a fun fucking time in the mess he landed himself in, as per usual with any adam fic.

i’m still thinking up names for this fic, so nothings set in stone yet, but the placeholder one that’s kicking about in my ao3 drafts which i find kind of funny is “a little party (which definitely killed somebody)”, which is meant to be a play off of that one song “a little party never killed nobody” (which i think was in the great gatsby soundtrack thingy but please dont quote me on that, i’ve never watched it 😭).

i would yap more but like… hhhh i dont want to spoil anything i’m planning on. welp. just know that there’ll be a lot of guns, and probably violence, and drinking, and also likely smut because like… its guitarspear as literal criminals in the roaring 20s, they’re gonna fuck at some point. probably. provided my several google docs of smut i haven’t posted are any decent. but fluff is also inevitable i love these two and i will forever mourn the loss of adam in canon. this is me subtly hinting to viv that sinner adam should be a thing. please. and make him kiss lute. please. that’s all i ask.

IT’LL BE FUN I PROMISE!! no idea when the first chapter will be up, it’ll probably take me a while given i’ve only just started putting pen to paper to figure out the plot, but i’m committed to a fic idea this time and i’m not letting it go unwritten so there’s that :D

[rabioa]

Werewolf!Vox x Red Riding Hood!Reader??

Little You and The Big Bad TV

Big Bad Wolf!Vox x Red Riding Hood!Reader - Concept - Gender Neutral

You were just the innocent Little Red Riding Hood, kept safe from the horrors of Pentagram City. When you meet the Big Bad Wolf Vox, your life is turned upside down. The only issue is do you even realize he's ruining you? Surely, he isn't the bad guy in this story, after all, Vox was your best friend, your only friend, the only person who just wanted the best for you, right...?

TW: Crazy amounts of manipulation and corruption, this feels like Valentino levels of toxic, he is such a red flag in this, any Hazbin Hotel warnings

Hhhh tumblr decided to be funny and delete my draft of this </3 Anyways, this was my first request! I wrote this as a general conception of the topic rather than specific scenes since I had so many ideas of how it would go. I wrote like three drafts until I finally settled on this lol. I really tried to push how he gradually manipulative Vox is towards the innocent Reader. Lmk if there are any typos!! Remember to stay hydrated and slay the day away

Vox was the big bad wolf of Pentagram City. He was a wolf, both in character and in capitalism, managing to brand himself to monopolize anything material he could get his hands on. He managed to garner a fearsome reputation for being a greedy and hungry beast, yet everyone still relied on him for technology and whatnot. 

You were the innocent Little Red Riding Hood. You were always sheltered, living on the outskirts of Pentagram City with your mother and father, ensuring you had everything you’d need in the small cottage. No complicated technologies that could risk unsavory individuals from stealing your privacy were allowed in the house. There were no muggings or burglars in the desolate corner of land in the meager outlands. As you got older you craved to explore the concrete jungles. Your parents compromised by letting you go on trips alone to the other side of the pentagram to the humble apartment your grandmother lives in. You always went with your red cloak and a basket of goods. You’d spend the night at your grandmother’s to catch up before returning home in the morning; A neat weekly routine.

Although your parents told you tales of monsters in the world, you never really paid attention. After all, if your home was so pleasant then how could the world be so awful? Surely you wouldn’t be able to have such a happy life if it were as bad as they made it out to be!

You met him on one of your journeys across the city. He was charming, so much so that you completely ignored the cybernetic wolf ears on his head and how they resembled the devil horns your mother warned you against. He was so polite that you were surely you were mistaken each time you saw a hungry glint in his eyes. During your interactions his claws were all over you, constantly resting on your shoulder or guiding you by the small of your back. You never really minded it, his hands occasionally heavy against your flesh but never drawing blood. He was always kind enough to escort you to the edge of his domain ensuring you were safe in his lands, how sweet of him to protect your innocence.

You grew to adore your outings solely so you could see your new friend! He always managed to find you when you were on your path, and you never questioned it. It must be fate and totally not him spying on you whenever you step within the range of any VoxTek item! Eventually, though, he grew greedy. It was in his nature, to want to consume everything, a gluttonous beast. Your innocence was amusing for a while and he was content with the brief interactions, but he found himself wanting to corrupt you. After all such a naive person was rare. 

It started as small things. He would encourage you to spend a little longer on your outings. He would gift you small items, slowly building up into him gifting you a VoxTek phone. Vox would whisper temptations in your ear, guiding you into cafes as you both share some sugary drinks and laugh together. The city was nothing like your organic home life, everything was artificial but it was all so entertaining! He would escalate his plans though. Eventually, he had you lying straight to your family’s face so you could sneak a little more time with him. You lied to your grandmother, saying your visits would have to become biweekly due to some new plans at the house. In truth you’d spend your nights with Vox, learning more about the city. He would take you to clubs, to stores, and even to the V Tower! It put stars in your eyes as you tasted the sweet forbidden fruit of the citylife.

Over time you realized Vox was a lot more popular than you thought. Your friendly wolf was a busy man yet he always made time for you. How kind of him, really shows how much he cared about you! 

When you were home, you’d sneakily text Vox throughout the week, hiding the phone constantly so your parents wouldn’t be clued into your rebellious behavior. You slowly became more modernized, learning more about the outside life your parents hid from you. Vox would constantly point out their “controlling” behavior, persuading you that they were being cruel, trying to keep you caged like some bird, they used the excuse of “safety” so they could keep you trapped. This began to lead to more conflict at home. Of course, you made sure it wasn’t anything too extreme, after all, you couldn’t bear to be too aggressive. You couldn’t risk them taking Vox away from you. Vox was your best friend, your only friend, the only person who just wanted the best for you. 

Occasionally Vox would even appear outside your house in the late hours of the night, sneakily giving you charming gifts of the latest fashionable accessory or tech toy as he chatted with you. Soon you amassed a collection of contraband that you hid under your bed. 

Vox was the only person you could rely on. The only one who cared about you. Even your family was against you. Your family, the ones who raised you, didn’t love you. Only Vox was the honest person you knew. Perhaps he was an angel?

That’s why when one day shit hit the fan, you turned to Vox. Your father needed some old box that was kept under your bed but he ended up finding an odd black and cyan box. Upon further examination, he was horrified. Modern tech, being snuck into his house? His child, the very kid he thought he raised to be honest and good, was involved in bad things. He and your mother were furious. It got messy, leading to a big screaming match as they threw away all of your beloved gifts from Vox. You ran out of the house, going to the comforting neon lights of the city. You called Vox, sobbing, begging him to take you away. He was right, your parents were awful cruel people. Vox was all too pleased when you crawled to him. 

He settled you nice and neat into his penthouse in the V Tower. You were officially isolated from everyone but him. He made sure you got controlled tidbits of information. Slowly, he introduced you to Valentino and Velvette. He began to show you more extreme things, normalizing them. He had the lowest performers shot? Well, maybe they should’ve worked harder! People were being exploited in Valentino’s films? They signed the contract, they consented to it all! Velvette verbally abused her workers? She was just encouraging them to be better! Your innocent mind became twisted into Vox’s little pet. He was your everything. The outside was scary after all! You’d be in danger if you wandered without him. Just rely on him.

Ignore the way he loomed over you like you were prey. Ignore the way you weren’t allowed to see your family anymore. He was the only one that mattered. Look at him. Worship him. He was your everything. You were now his caged bird, happily chirping along to whatever song he wanted. The big bad wolf consumed Little Red Riding Hood; The only thing left was your newly corrupted self.

[pvlvsdog]

i keep on chekcing this blog to see if uyou've posted a new piece of writing i feel like an addict on withdrawal

Anon, I am scratching at the floors, crawling on the ceiling, gnawing on cement you have no idea what horrors I’ve been fighting hhhh /lh ive lost my limbus account, can’t log back no idea why. I’m waiting for the support to text me back, praying not to get ghosted, I feel like I’m dealing with a high school crush all over again (should I text again? Do I sound desperate? What if I don’t get a message back! /j). I can try to write sth, tbh I did work on a draft since Monday, but I’m kiiinda scared if I indulge myself too much I’m going to be even more disappointed once they inevitably tell me that I have lost my account forever. I have found slight humour in the situation, as in, I’m not telling you this to be like “how dare you ask” or sth. Tbh, I’m really flattered someone likes my writing this much! This is a bit motivating ngl. To be fair the draft I’ve dug up and worked on is… a bit cursed in some parts (mostly Emil’s. Honestly, just his hhhhh) but I might share

A bit of a serious note though. Problem is, it took me so bloody long to get my account to a point where I was genuinely proud of it. Like really proud. And I know if I tried to rebuild it, it wouldn’t be the same and I would have to take… a lot of time. So, I’m super sorry to say this but uh. If this doesn’t work out and I lost it all forever, I’m not sure if I’ll stay in the fandom. Which sucks, I mean, I’ve made so many memories with my group and the game is also a large factor in me and my bestie (haiiii if you’re reading!) growing closer, but i feel like trying again might make me feel worse. I’m not saying goodbye to you all. I might write for a bit. And who knows, maybe the end isn’t all that near. To be honest my mates are very lovely about it, one of the anons you might know from this blog (whom I know irl haha) is currently fighting in the trenches, nursing an account that I could take over if things go bad (ily, if you’re reading this <33). We’ll see how things go. Honestly, this is just divine intervention, I got it snatched before I could meet my WH book crush. The universe knows I’d be too powerful if I was allowed to enjoy and write about my lovely alcoholic wife, Hindley /hj

The main issue is…. I have no idea if I was smart enough to not play on a guest account. Before you judge! I was out having a beer with one of my lads when I downloaded limbus. And I didn’t get motivation till a bit later, also out, when another mate showed me Gregor in a dress. Yeah, bride Greg was genuinely my reason to start playing on the spot, he’s the og wife. If I started playing or made the account at home I would be pretty sure that I linked it to something. Buuuut. Well, first time I was under the influence of alcohol and second under a much stronger influence of a bear in a dress /hj such is life

To end it on a sillier note (bc I know you didn’t ask for my yapping, I saw my opportunity and ran with it), here is my Greg plush, may he brighten your day

[phantasmaphoria]

Quirk: Spirit Box

The user can speak to and hear deceased persons in the area (though they cannot see them, and their voice is still affected by distortions on the physical realm).

They can roughly sense spirits’ locations and emotions; however, their communication is still affected by language barriers. The range of their quirk can be augmented by electronics and metal objects.

[angrelysimpping]

So I guess tumblr ate the ask while I had it sitting in my drafts???? Good thing I usually copy-paste asks verbatim into google docs but still???? It was only there for a day or two??? Anyway

Hhhh if you’re ok with requests I wanted to know how the LI’s would react to a m!PC crossdressing 24/7 because of how feminine they are and how would they react if they found out when trying to non-con pc for whatever reason (Im love your writing and seeing dol blogs makes me 🥰🥰🥰🥰)

Oh crossdressing m!pc anon I forgot to specify the genders of li’s as male or nb

(DoL relationships, noncon, reader gets called things like ‘good girl’)

Alex

Alex admits that he's probably had too much to drink. It's just so very nice, sitting with you, not having to worry about his responsibilities for a few minutes.

You don't push him away when rests his arm over your shoulder. He thinks you even spread your legs a little when he puts his hand on your thigh.

It's when he starts to kiss your neck that things turn sour. You start to push him away.

But maybe you're just playing? He's heard a lot of things about the townspeople. How they'll say "no" and keep going.

So, Alex keeps going.

He pushes you into your back, running a hand up under your skirt.

Your skin is so warm, so soft. He has to feel more, see more.

You're squirming on the ground, but it's easy for Alex to overpower you.

He lifts your skirt,

And freezes.

There's a distinctively dick-shaped bulge in your underwear.

"The hell?"

Alex ruins your underwear as he pulls them off you, ripping them.

Yeah. You have a dick.

Is this a joke? Have you been messing with him this whole time? Do you even like him?

Why were you lying about being a girl? He thought you guys were close. Why would you keep this from him?

Alex climbs off you and goes back to work.

Alex won't talk to you for the rest of the day, but he won't run you off the farm either. He needs the help too badly.

He wants you to apologize. Even with the way he found out, Alex thinks he deserves an apology.

He’s not bringing it up until you do. He also won’t initiate anything, won’t ask you to sit in the field with him, will avoid doing farm work with you.

If you explain why you hadn’t told him, he relaxes a little. Starts talking to you again, offering you the occasional drink.

You’ll have to tell him what pronouns to use for you, he keeps flip-flopping between calling you his man and his woman.

Avery

This wouldn't have happened if you had just been a good girl and gotten in the car.

But no, you had ignored him.

You've done that too often lately, ignoring him. Avery needs to remind you of your place.

He’d dragged you into the back of his car. Drives to a secluded area before joining you in the back and climbing on top of you.

You’ve stopped fighting him, but you’re still crying. It’s starting to get on his nerves.

He's not paying attention to the words that spill out of your mouth as he strips you. Maybe if he had, he would hear you apologizing for not "telling him."

So it's a complete surprise for Avery when he pulls off your panties and finds out you have a dick.

And his rage swells.

He's been taking you to high society events and this whole time one wardrobe malfunction could have ruined everything.

What would the others have thought if they found out Avery's date was crossdressing? Nothing good, he can guarantee that. He would have been a laughingstock.

Avery starts to press his cock into you with no warning. He'd planned to do this, anyway. Fuck you in the back of his car with as much force as possible. Make you limp home as a reminder of who you belong to, dripping his cum.

It's not his fault if there's no lube in the car. Maybe if someone hadn't been a lying whore, there would have been.

Sure, it doesn't feel great for Avery, the friction almost unbearable, but the discomfort doesn't last long.

He doesn't last long, either.

It helps that you're crying under him, clinging to him as he fucks you, gasping out his name between pleas to be more gentle, that you’re sorry.

It drives him to orgasm at an embarrassingly fast rate.

Shoves you out of the car, throwing your ruined clothes out after you.

Drives up next to you the next morning, offering to give you a ride to school. It's not really an offer you can refuse.

Demands you keep crossdressing at events. He can't explain why he's changed partners at this point, too many people have seen him with you. He'd get too many invasive questions. It's easier if you keep presenting as a girl.

Eden

He's been following you for a while now, watching you foraging in the forest. Every time you bend over, it gets a little harder not to relieve himself. Push you to the ground and have his way with you.

You're such a pretty girl, and it's been such a long time since he's fucked anyone.

A gust of wind picks up the hem of your skirt and Eden gets treated to a glimpse of your ass. Soft flesh and smooth curve.

Fuck it, he'd been thinking about getting a partner anyway. This would be a lot easier than setting something up with Bailey.

You don’t hear the hunter creep up behind you, unaware of his presence until he has you pressed face-first into the dirt.

You scream and struggle, but Eden had expected that. He’s prepared, pressing his chest against your back, using his size to his advantage.

"Don’t resist, and I won't have to hurt you."

It's an empty promise. He's going to ruin you, split you open on his cock regardless of if you struggle or not.

You seem to believe him, going still and quiet. It’s not until you hear Eden undoing his pants, feel his hands tugging at your skirt, that you start squirming again.

"P-please, stop."

You sound so meek that Eden can't even be that upset. Maybe it's your first time?

Eden doesn't carry lube on him, but he should be able to get you wet enough. It's really not his problem if you can't get wet. He's going to enjoy himself regardless.

He’ll try his best to get you wet though, a reward for not putting up a fight.

And then he's staring at your cock and balls. And your asshole.

Oh, he's going to ruin you.

Keeps you pressed into the ground as he positions himself, spitting on your hole and his dick to provide some lube.

He ignores how you scream. You can't overpower him, and no one can hear you out here.

You go still as he forces the head of his cock past your tight rim, silent as all the air seems to leave you.

He meant to be gentle, he really did. Only, once he feels how warm and tight you are around his cock, Eden loses himself and starts pounding into you.

It's been far too long since Eden has had a good fuck and, as a result, he cums far quicker than he would have liked.

But it doesn't matter.

You don't move from your spot on the ground, shaking and crying as Eden rolls off you to grab the rope out of his bag.

He makes a mental note to get more lube the next time he's in town.

Kylar

"W-wake up, my love."

You twitch at Kylar’s words, seeming to come out of a deep sleep. Maybe he gave you too many sedatives? But he doesn’t think so, he was very careful in measuring out the right dose and - Oh!

You’ve opened your eyes!

Kylar's face is the first thing you see, the only thing you see. He's leaning over you, eyes bright.

You flinch back only to realize you're bound to a chair.

He makes cooing sounds, cupping your face in his hands.

"I l-love you"

He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead before sitting in your lap.

"I love you s-so much, we're going to get married. D-do this every day. F-forever."

Kylars hands slip under your skirt and pauses, frowning at what he feels.

"Oh," he can't keep the disappointment out of his voice as he feels your dick for the first time. The moment is over quick as Kylar flashes you a crooked grin. He's trying to be calming, but he just comes off as unhinged.

"Th-that's okay, we can always adopt.”

It’s fine. He still loves you. He’ll always love you. You’re still perfect to him.

It hurts a little to know that he'll never see you, heavy with his child.

But that doesn't matter now.

Not when he finally has you under him, when you’re finally letting him touch you.

You were always so shy, flinching back from his caresses, running off with your friends instead of staying with him. But it’s fine, Kylar understands! You wanted to wait until after you married, that’s all!

But you’re getting married now, soon, tonight!

The vicar is already on their way, will be here any minute.

“You d-don’t mind, right? If we get started on the honeymoon?”

Kylar doesn’t wait for an answer, kissing you to keep you quiet as he starts to pump your dick.

He’s good at it, even if it's a bit awkward. Kylar has never touched someone else’s cock before. But he’s touched his own enough to have a good idea of what to do. Everyone’s body is different, but Kylar’s an expert in yours. Knows from the twitch of your lip that you like when he strokes you a certain way. From the sound of your breathing if he’s being a bit too rough.

When Kylar makes you cum, spilling into his hand, he can’t help the swell of pride in his chest. He got you to cum! He brought you pleasure! There’s physical proof right here, on his hand.

Kylar would go on. Would lift your skirt and slide to the ground to take you in his mouth. Would keep your hands bound while freeing you from the chair, push you into the bare mattress in the corner. Force your knees to your chest and make love to you, give his virginity to you. He would do so much if the vicar didn’t choose that moment to show up.

The police arrive shortly after.

Kylar doesn’t fight the police. He knows it wouldn't do him any good. He can’t keep from sobbing as he’s dragged away from you. He knows it's over, he's never going to see you again. He’d only just got you and now-

“I stole it.”

It’s the first time you’ve spoken since you woke up, your voice sounds rough, hoarse. It makes Kylar’s heart race all the same.

You’re taking the blame for him. You’re protecting him.

The next day at school you avoid him. He understands, you must be disappointed, maybe even mad with him, that he didn’t marry you. It’s okay. He’ll talk to you later, in private. In your room. You always leave your window open for him, after all.

Kylar doesn't understand why you're crossdressing, but he also doesn't care. He's not going to tell anyone. He thinks of it as a special secret the two of you share.

Nothing changes with Kylar. You might have to go out of your way to tell him what pronouns to use for you, though.

Robin

Robin shifts as you sit in his lap.

You’re so focused on the video game that Robin’s not sure if you can feel how he’s starting to get hard.

He hopes you don’t. That he can just will away his erection.

“Goddam-”

You cut the swear off, biting your lip as the character on-screen dies. Again.

You move on Robin’s lap, grinding on him.

“Stupid game!”

“I could beat the level for you?”

You shake your head, leaning closer to the screen, inadvertently pressing your ass back into him.

You have to know. You have to be doing this on purpose. There’s no way this is an accident.

You have to want this.

Robin wraps his arms around you, pulling you back to be fully flush with him.

“Robin?”

He doesn't answer, burying his face in your shoulder. Slipping a hand under your skirt, he ghosts it over up your thigh

You gasp, squirming on his lap. He can’t keep in a moan as you press on his cock.

His hand trails up, grazing the hem of your underwear.

“C-can I?”

You’re silent, trembling in his lap.

But you don’t leave, either.

His hand slides further up, pressing lightly on your...cock?

"Stop."

He jerks away from you.

"Sorry!"

You don't answer, scrambling to leave Robin's room as fast as possible.

He doesn't know what to do. He's known you for so long. You've had fights before, disagreements that crop up in any relationship. But nothing like this.

Robin will give you space. The moment you approach him again, he's apologizing.

He won't ask why you're crossdressing, just accepts the fact you are and asks you what pronouns you want him to use.

Whitney

It's not the first time Whitney has dragged you into a bathroom stall, it won't be the last.

It is the first time Whitney has pushed you onto your back instead of your knees.

He's fucked your mouth enough, now he wants your cunt. And you're his slut, so why are you fighting so hard?

He doesn't care about your struggles. It's actually making him more excited, more determined to fuck you.

“Better stop fighting before I rip your clothes to shreds. You really want to go to that perv Leighton to get a new uniform?”

His words have the desired effect as you go still under him.

“There’s a good girl.”

That’s when he pulls off your skirt.

The fuck?

He’s not completely surprised. He’d always known something was a little off with you. From that first time he shoved you into the lockers and ground his knee into your groin, he knew something was up.

Still, he’s a bit angry. Why the fuck were you hiding the fact you were a boy from him?

“Keeping secrets, slut? Your fucking lucky I carry lube on me.”

Whitney fishes the small bottle out of his pocket, pouring some of the clear, slimy fluid directly onto your hole. But probably not as much as he should. Punishment, you see.

He still plans to fuck you. You’re still his slut, after all, dick or no.

And you don't want anyone to know, right? Then you better spread your legs and let Whitney fuck you. Be a good slut and let him do whatever he wants without a fuss. Or he'll tell the whole school.

Pushes your knees to your chest, sinking his cock into you.

Has no regard for your comfort. Cums and leaves you on the floor.

Acts as if nothing has changed. Will still call you his girlfriend when in a relationship.

Holds it over your head. Any time you don’t want to do something, he will threaten to strip you. He will do it, as well. Don't test him.

He probably has pictures.

He definitely has pictures.

[asrisgratitudejournal]

Useless

Wow my last post was on 13/06 and today is already 22/06?

How was my last week? Well, not bad. But also not good. Basically got ZERO work done. Did nothing the whole week. Oh nggak deng. Berhasil ngerapiin database excel, but that's it. I think I did it on last Thursday? I don't know why but I definitely am going back to the cycle of "I don't think I can do this. This is very difficult for me. I don't think I suit this." I even made a Tumblr post draft to trick my brain into writing a piece of scientific paragraph 4 days ago? But it just won't work.

Hhhhh sebelum spiraling into the world of negativity where I keep thinking of myself as useless (therefore the post title), let's, first of all, be grateful for things I should be grateful for:

1. My Biore sunscreen is here! It just arrived (like 5 mins ago) from Japan. Finally! Setelah battling nyari-nyari di amazon akhirnya nyampe juga walaupun agak mahal. Dan agak nggak berguna ya, since there will be no more sun anymore, not at least until this weekend. Huf. I hate British summer.

2. Got to have a pretty relaxing weekend. Last weekend, I got to pick up my Exeter stash on Saturday morning, did 20 min yoga with Kalina, did an Instagram live with Bunga (an Indonesian student working on English education in Lampung, apparently she found me via youtube -- wow thank you Edsel!), in which on the live I coughed a lot and my mom commented there telling me to drink water -- God, I love my mom so much), played badminton (a pretty intense session), and ate dinner out with Kalina, Arthur, and Hami (we got decent ramen in Westgate!). As for Sunday, I did basically nothing in the day and went to Rosa's landlord's garden party at 6 pm. It was a lovely evening, even though it's pretty cold outside and there's no sun at all. I got to meet Archu, Gupreeth, Vance (basically the badminton guys), and also new people (Carina, an Indonesian who's now a post-doc and team leader of AstraZeneca -wow-, Dexter, Rosa's landlord who's 57? and love Bob Dylan too much, Coraline, a french linguist student who was Dexter's past tenant, and Tim, Coraline's boyfriend, a German. 2 of Dexter's neighbors also came, but I didn't get a chance to talk to them so....

3. My sister's birthday present has arrived! I bought them TXT's freeze boy version. And it was there yesterday. She didn't get Soobin/Yeonjun as her photocard (she got Taehyun instead) but it's okay, though. Glad she's happy with what I got. Now I currently am still contemplating whether I should buy physical Butter or not because it's pretty expensive, but I really want themmm. Hhhh. Let's see until we got a teaser to help decide.

4. Some of my students passed the olympiad selection! On the weekend, I still take some gigs to teach for olympiad prep online (just so that I got things to do besides my research basically). And 3 of them passed the district selection which means I will have to have more sessions on the weekend! Yey! (Not sad at all to have more works to do because only by doing this side job I feel worth it and useful in a way?).

5. Got a bit productive today(?). I don't know if this is something to be proud of. But as for today, I already made myself work on someone's recommendation letter and also replied to some emails. I also did the laundry this morning! Yesterday I only made myself take a shower and I already considered that as an accomplishment. The bad weather is just adding more excuses for me to not go to the office today and yesterday :(

Let's wish for a better and productive day, shall we?

Best,

Asri

22/06 9 Woodlands Close, 14:38 pm

[sureuncertainty]

6, 8, & 20 for the ask game? :^)

aw hell yeah thanks!

(this got super long so i’m going back and making it more ADHD accessible sorry y’all)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing? 

Hhhh this one is so hard because I love writing everyone??? So it’s close, and changes depending on the day and my mood, but I’m gonna go with Kat, I’ve been really enjoying writing her lately, and I’m SO excited to write her more in my sequel.

Also as of now, Nyx is the least fun lol, their chapters keep giving me aggravation since they just. don’t think/talk like me at all, and it’s really hard compared to Avery’s chapters which just flow so easily (and end up ten times too long whoops)

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read? 

Yeah pretty much although I haven’t found anything really much like The Silence Agenda, but I do like to read a lot of thrillers/mysteries and queer romance! I also read a lot of YA which makes sense since Sure Uncertainty is also a thing so overall yeah! I try to specifically seek out books that are similar to my writing so that I can be inspired! (and like. i write what I wanna read so)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

OH MAN SO MUCH.

let’s see... I’m including Sure Uncertainty Easter eggs in this draft of Silence Agenda which is really fun, but they’re like. deep lore lol. like for example, Avery’s supervisor at the library they work at on campus is named Mrs. Durham, and Durham was one of Emma’s old surnames i tried out before settling on Alldridge. I changed it though so most people wouldn’t get it. but i lOVE the idea of finding subtle stuff like that to tie my stories together, even ones that take place in totally different universes. 

also like. idk i feel like themes of identity have been emerging a lot more in this draft of Silence Agenda, specifically with Nyx and figuring out who they are, how they feel like they’re barely a person bc they’ve spent so much of their life just trying to survive, and especially at the ending, they don’t know how to move on because they don’t even know like... what they like???

like there’s this scene where Avery asks them about their favorite music/books/movies and they just draw a total blank because they don’t know?? they’ve never even had the luxury to figure that stuff out, so they’re trying to figure out what kind of a person they are, and it’s cool bc i feel like I’VE been figuring them out alongside them. ngl they were a really simplistic character when I created them, and they’re STILL one of the hardest characters to write/flesh out because I’m still getting to know them, even now. which is weird since they’ve always been a protagonist but it’s true

also like. can we just talk for two seconds about the way that Nyx and Kat are two sides of the same coin and how that’s going to be explored in the sequel because oh my god i could write for hours about that and i’m so excited to look at it. they basically just both deal with the same trauma in very very different ways, and I’m so excited to explore that and how they clash but then ultimately help each other heal in the second book (and third) and figure out how to communicate with each other.

idk communication is also just such a theme. it’s ALSO really interesting how my own experiences have so clearly shaped this draft, specifically in relation to drafts before it. like. idk after i was in a really unhealthy abusive housemate situation with people who did NOT fucking know how to communicate like regular people, it became even more of a big thing for Nyx and Avery. Because before they can move into anywhere even close to being together (romantically or not, the story is about their emotional growth and closeness)  they have to figure out how to communicate with each other. and they have these barriers (a lot of them informed by their neurodivergencies since they’re both autistic and Avery has ADHD) to communication bc of competing access needs and stuff (i.e. Nyx needs their space to be clean or they can’t think well, and they get anxious and stressed, but Avery can’t always clean bc of their executive dysfunction and the other stress in THEIR life). and that’s all such a reflection with my own communication barriers to people in my life and yes, a reflection of my relationship with my amazing partner @drama-dick who i’ve been able to like. figure that out with.

there’s just something so intimate about someone taking intentional steps and work towards figuring out how to communicate with someone, and how to understand them and where they’re coming from. ESPECIALLY from two people who have spent a long time on their own, who have both felt abandoned and rejected and alone (also hi again projection), and have decided just not to trust other people or even TRY to invest in relationships. for Avery it’s because they’re afraid of getting hurt again and for Nyx it’s because they’re afraid of hurting someone again (even unintentionally) but for both of them it’s bc they see themselves as intrinsically unworthy of love and that’s something that even just them being in a relationship by the end of the book can’t be a magic fix to. which is why i’m SOOO excited to explore them being together in the second two books, and how they continue to help each other grow (and how other people in their lives help them as well!!!)

okay that got super long i am so sorry. tl;dr - communication as a theme with Nyx and Avery relevant to my own experiences is really fucking cool. also identity as a theme with Nyx specifically and how Nyx and Kat are two sides of the same coin. all cool stuff

[koutawoo]

hello hi so i just want to thank you for creating such a safe space i just finished writing my 4000 word essay but i went over the limit by 300 and i was stressed so i came here to look at the adorable gifs you make, the edits of my comfort character, and the convos you have with other anons heck i got kindly attacked by your ask box (btw ily2) and idk i just think you're kinda neat

my embarrassment of a message under the cut

i’m glad u think this is a safe space? honestly, it’s just a vomit of things. totally against what i’d envisioned my blog to be like!! clean and all that, but a messy, friendly environment > clean, ‘wow u seem so inhuman’ type of environment, y’know?? i hope i come off as approachable, but it’s really all thanks to u guys for reaching out to me (i also thought i was gonna be unsocial here ngl, too much effort making friends hHHh i’m a loser okay)

god, i hate essays, and i’m the type to always be stuck when i’m drafting bc i have NO idea what to write about, and the stress just spikes!! but when i finally do write something, i write pages OVER the limit, and it gets me so frustrated bc i couldn’t write anything, but now i can write something, and it doesn’t even work out?? ugh. i always end up editing my friends’ essays and stuff, so i’d offer to edit ur essay or at least try to help as well, but.... kinda weird bc we’re practically strangers huh

i’m happy that my shitposting of edits help u feel better!! i’m no saint with words, but if i can help u thru hq!!, it’s all worth it <3 and YES, MY ANONS (including u), are such great people and i’m so happy u guys found me somehow idk i’m so blessed. aNd my askbox!! i didn’t know what to put there, but i didn’t want it to be a boring “send an ask” or smth so i hope that works well and makes u guys feel loved even if it’s kinda.. crappy :/ 

i talked way too much for someone who gets kinda tired by social interaction and can’t shut up about her life and likes on a daily basis, but anyways!! thank u for the message and i’m glad u find this blog to be comforting ;__;

[hyenasnake]

hi. I heard a whisper of mermaid lesbians. so I zoom over here because 1) mermaids 2) gay and 3) I would like writing advice!!!! You are fabulous for even having a wip

Ohhhh my gOD aaaaaa nobody has ever asked me for writing advice hhhh

Ok so “The Unspoken Wish” (Mermaid Lesbians) is finished and I’m in the process of trying to get it published. I’ve submitted 4 queries and had 3 rejections so far. I am currently working on another book titled “Holy Child” which is about Joan Of Arc but I’ve been burnt out so I took a short break from writing.

As for writing advice, here’s what has worked for me

1: Write your rough draft in comic sans. I found this tip a while back and it’s worked like a charm. Using that tip I wrote The Unspoken Wish within a little more than a month.

2: Just write. Don’t care if it’s bad because you can go back and edit it. You can’t edit a blank page.

3: Remember that you and your life come first, not your book. If you need a break, take it. Watch tv, eat a salad, take a nap, do your homework.

4: Have beta readers as soon as you finish. Trust me. You will need the constructive criticism.

5: Write what you would want to read. Writing simply for other people drains you. Write about whatever Niche interest you have and maybe somebody will pick it up.

[fallingin-like]

november 14

14. sleeping with ghosts by @boybeaulieu​ [requested by @fuzzballsheltiepants]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this fic is a super cool band!au that has andrew and gang playing placebo songs and neil as a solo singer. there has great use of a non-linear timeline. be prepared to feel all of the feelings

this fic is such an emotional rollercoaster, especially with the jumps between when andrew and neil are together and broken up. the juxtaposition of happy vs bad times made everything that much more impactful. i was reading so quickly just wanting to know what was going to happen next.

parts i enjoyed:

”being back to numbness is not exactly a revelation, more of a failure” oh oof i feel this. that feeling of ‘i had hoped this would not happen but i am not surprised, just disappointed/resigned’

”he can’t stop writing songs even in his own thoughts” woah i actually relate to this a bit. a couple years ago i was writing letters to someone and i found myself constantly drafting letters in my head, narrating my thoughts to them even though they weren’t around

”smiles andrew, sharp, all teeth and no joy whatsoever” oh nO andrew ;-;

”there is no way he is going anywhere neil josten might even breathe the same air he’s breathing. no way. no, nein, njet. fifteen minutes later, he’s signing a new contract” LOL i’m interested, is this due to pressure from the rest of the band or… maybe a little bit of andrew hoping to see neil?

”the anxiety that should come with that realisation is missing, this is a moment he will remember […] maybe what he means to say is that this is a moment he will want to remember” oh this is so soft. i’m so happy, but worried because i know this all goes wrong

hhhh andrew writing about neil!! very cute. also cute is “this is the first time andrew actively asks him about his album and it shows in a way neil looks taken aback, but hopeful”

honestly reading about andrew when he’s crazy high and numb is so hard

aaron going after that technician is a great moment. even though the twins have such a rocky relationship, at the end of the day, aaron will protect andrew and andrew will protect aaron and i love seeing that.

the conversation between andrew and renee is so interesting. they have such a complicated, yet simple relationship, always knowing how to communicate without saying things, when to push and when to back down. seeing andrew feel comfortable enough to finally talk about neil is a good example of how much he trusts her

PICTURES OF RIKO KISSING NEIL EXCUSE ME WHAT IS GOING ON (i secretly love this because i love angst)

this first meeting between andrew and neil is really interesting to read. it’s basically a one-sided conversation but we learn so much because even though he’s not speaking, we get to see andrew’s thoughts and how he reacts to everything  and oo i love seeing both their tempers coming out, they clash in a way that works so well because it almost balances each other out

and with that, he turns around and makes to leave. andrew… andrew is a bit star struck.” oh the irony here

soooo does neil watch andrew leave and follow him to the roof? or does he just happen to be there (because i really want to believe neil followed him, but also wanted to give him some space)

”his monsters (nobody should ever know he calls them his, in his mind)” cute! and also i was not surprised at all because this is very in character. andrew is so possessive and, in his own way, caring 

”for once, andrew wants to be selfish, he wants to think about himself and finally, finally let go of song to say goodbye. it will either kill him or free him. he hopes it’s the latter, he used to hope it’d be the first” oh this is so sad, andrew’s longing to do something for himself for once and the reminder of when he was suicidal

”this feels like discovering aaron’s addiction and locking him in that bathroom, like watching him go in and never come back out. like breaking the door open and blowing air into his lungs and hearing nicky frantically dialling 911” wait a second. so what happens in this universe?

”the reply said: i’m sorry, one day you’ll understand” oh my goodness there has to be something more going on. what is riko threatening/blackmailing neil with?

the way that you write the relationship between andrew and aaron is really interesting, there’s so much unresolved tension. love seeing aaron finally stand up for himself and share the song he wrote

interesting the timeline you’ve gone with, having betsy and andrew not that close to each other during aaron’s trial. the trial itself… it’s very painful and i hate to think that andrew has to share such a vulnerable part of himself to save his brother

”sometimes i think about how it would be if you were the one tilda chose, wish it, even.” woah this is something that would be cool to explore. how each twin would have turned out differently if faced with the opposite situation, because although they’re twins, they’re still so different. how would it affect everything that happens in the books? i wonder if andrew would have joined exy

”exit wounds, though, is a trump card. just like neil. it will either set him free or kill him, andrew has the uncanny suspicion it’ll be the last one” hhhhh how dare you do this to me

oH DANG WHAT DID YOU DO TO NEIL? i really like that you have this from andrew’s perspective, keeps everything so suspenseful. what the heck this scene is so intense.

hmm seth’s death is interesting. to have everyone present and seeing their reactions, especially aaron’s, makes it that much more impactful

”as all over the place and exuberant as nicky is, he’s also quite observant. if he weren’t his cousin, andrew would have to eliminate him” haha this is exactly something that andrew would think, with his odd sense of affection.

”andrew realises more and more with each word that if he were to sign this, he’d be stepping from a cell into a cage” love the way that you described this

i like that you had andrew meet with bee, it’s comforting to think that through this rough time andrew still has someone around that he trusts to share with. who won’t judge him and just wants the best for him

ahh seeing the events leading up to neil’s tour gives a lot more understanding of the thought process of neil’s decision and why andrew is reacting the way he is

i actually can’t believe kevin. first of all, it’s actually pretty impressive that he has been able to hide riko contacting him for so long (although i suppose that andrew hasn’t been as observant as usually since the call). to think that he knew for so long about who neil was but didn’t say anything?? 

andrew and neil’s march 2018 fight is a big oof.

”he is done being carved open like this, with no knife or pain or malice. with interest and intrigue and plain, simple curiosity. it should feel like being carved open, it’s more like being gently torn apart” woah the wording you used for this is so amazing, i love these lines

”if you could see yourself the way i see you on that stage, you wouldn’t even think about that. it’s a risk, but one that’s worth taking, i should know about that” oh neil, you always know where to hit and how to hit the hardest

”it’s been a very long time since andrew has felt fear outside his nightmares, this unease settling in his stomach is certainly not welcomed. it also isn’t anything new” ahHHHHHHHH

neil’s performance was great, i liked that he left stage immediately and just ran straight to andrew. how did neil free himself of riko? was it since nathan was killed?

this was a really interesting fic, the changes you made from canon made it unpredictable in a good way and kept me wanting to know more. i think i probably would have found it even better, had i been familiar with the songs that you reference throughout. either way, i think the ones that you chose fit well into the story that you were trying to tell because the lyrics that you included were great. i liked the way that you used different time jumps for each section to build suspense and also reflect and show how certain events were influenced. thanks for writing this!!

[galpalaven]

Kiana, how do you start writing? I have been sitting in front of my computer for hours not knowing how to begin a story that's completed in my head. It's frustrating, and I hate being this anxious. Why can't I just start, you know? I just wish I could overcome this block.

oh Big Mood I struggle with getting caught up trying to word the first sentence right soooo often,,, that’s a big reason I haven’t posted anything lately is I haven’t been able to Start 

(well that and I haven’t finished anything that isn’t Smut because hhhh brain goblins are Horny)

I like to start with an Outline if I don’t really know where to start, which is what I’ve done with my mermaid WIP so that I don’t feel like I’m just making No Progress. Outlines are important for keeping you on track and they can help you when you get stuck while you’re actually writing. They’re also a good place to brainstorm.

Sometimes you get stuck because you’re worried about it Sucking, which is fair and valid, and sounds like where your problem might be coming from–but sometimes you just gotta write WORST VERSION in all caps at the top of the page and let loose, you know? I like to think of my writing like a babbling brook, and sometimes it gets blocked up with mud and leaves, and you just gotta Write to get that blockage out so the good words can come out. 

In other words, don’t worry about it sucking, because no one has to see this draft–you just gotta make yourself start writing.

Of course, sometimes none of this is the problem, and you just don’t know how to start. Which happens. It might just mean the story isn’t quite finished cooking yet, so I spend time doing other things. Brainstorming for plot, making new characters, working on worldbuilding. Just trying to chip away at it.

IF none of this helps, I have a whole writing prompt tag where you might find something that tickles the inspiration. Sometimes you need to know your characters better, so exercises like writing something from a prompt can really  help get the gears moving.

Getting started is something I struggle with, too, and I still haven’t found a real solution, but hopefully something I’ve said here helps a little.

[angst-in-space]

november ‘18 writing progress 📝

total words written: 14,794 most words written in a day: 1,302 least words written in a day: 38

projects worked on:

- i pretty much only worked on altea rising chapter 14....it turned out to be way way longer than i expected ahaha. but i finished a draft of it so i’m just working on edits now! - i wrote like 3 pages of chapter 7 of red skies.

⛄️december goals⛄️

- write every day. - finish editing chapter 14 of altea rising and post that! - work on red skies chapter 7. - ...i know i keep saying it and not doing it but uhh work on a couple of fics that i’ve been neglecting. notes: ha well....i had wanted to do a sort of half-assed nanowrimo where i wasn’t really aiming for 50k but wanted to use november as inspiration to write a bit more than i usually do and try to make some progress on all of my wips (including fics i hadn’t worked on in a long time). thaaat didn’t really work out for a couple reasons:

1) altea rising chapter 14 turned out to be a huge bitch to write and the first draft ended up being 25k words long so uh....a majority of my effort/energy went into that. 2) about halfway through the month my fam and i found out we were essentially being kicked out of our house so!! a lot of time and energy went into finding a new place to live....plus due to the stress i had a hard time writing, and i was barely sleeping at night so i kept just like totally passing out after work so hhhh. but it’s all good now and we just moved in a lovely new home as of yesterday so that’s good! 

hopefully december will be a bit less Awful lol. i’m currently working on editing chapter 14 of altea rising and it may take me a couple weeks to finish that up since well....in addition to being long af, i also care a lot more about this chapter than probably any other chapter in the whole fic SO UH i’m trying to really get it to be the best it can be! i also hope to make some good progress on chapter 7 of red skies since i haven’t gotten to work on it in a really long time. so yeah woohoo!

[vermillion-vulture]

Woah I just found this old photo in my drafts :O

It's Geta at the tender age of two, on her first ever long outing with us, shortly after we got her!

Gosh she looks so different now... Her silly little ears hadn't fully stood up yet and her coat had yet to really fill out

Hhhh she's gonna turn six pretty soon and I'm not ready for that 😔

[tumblunni]

Hhhh bunni legs pain accomplishment day

I HAVE FINISHED THE SHOPPING OF HELL

Tfw u only get paid 4 days before christmas and have to rush everything aaaa

It was bad enough today so i'm so glad i got it done before it got even more busy!

Misc boring essentials i bought for myself: new phone charger cos broken, new trousers cos i spilt hair bleach on my only two pairs, new shoes cos my left shoe literally snapped in half down the middle like wtf even happened there, cheap pink hair dye from a discount store cos i wanna try different colours but in a thrifty way

Now for EXCITING CHRISTMAS PRESENT TIME!!!!

First off SO MANY pc and xbox 360 games from Every Charity Shop In Cardiff, St Mellons, Rumney and Llanrumney. My sis has been trying to find some games to play but was like 'dont worry about it i can just wait til the charity shop gets something good'. So i thought i'd get some stocking stuffers via all the charity shops on my side of town. By our powers combined we will blitz the entire vale of glamorgan's discount gaming scene!!! I found SO MANY good stuff for £1/£2/£3 like holy shit i love when charity shops dont know the proper price for shit XD

speaking of which i also found a WEBCAM for £2! If its that cheap it probanly isnt great but itd still be fun to play around with! :D and the same store also had an old vintage G1 My Little Pony coffee mug in excellent condition. Oh god the nostalgia! My support worker gave me a lift to llanrumney so i had to awkwardly explain why i had an armful of weird 80s mugs and big teary eyes!

Speaking of vintage, i found this new vintage toys and games shop in cardiff called Galactic Attic! The name hooked me in and then they actually DID have pokemon inside! As well as all sorts of stuff ranging from 40s to 90s, wow! There was even a lil pile of old 90s gaming magazines in the corner, covered up by a bunch of boxes. I'm glad i noticed them! I got the announcemt issues for pokemon diamond pearl and platinum in a weird old pokemon fan magazine that i loved as a kid. Im kinda sad that nowadays we just have one official magazine fpr each console and not the wild madness of amateaur journalists failing horribly to get news from japan. Shame they didnt have Beckett Pokemon cos that one was infamous fot drawing its own terrible interpretations of pokemon sprites to avoid copyright. And speaking of terrible, they even had bootleg pokemon!! I talked to the cashier and he was like "you know those are fake right" and i was like "yeah its so nostalgic thats why i want em" and he was like "lol yeah they actually sell pretty well so i'm not mad my supplier ripped me off". It was a pretty good and awesomely terrible fake at the same time? There was this exact replica of some japanese display stand for the product and then the actual pokeball toys looked perfect BUT the mini pokemon inside were.. Really not. I am so damn happy with the surprise inside my one, surprise inside has never been more accurate! I can't take a picture now cos my phone is charging but REGICHEETO. Just..just imagine that, and whatever you're imagining it is probably worse. I love it so fuckin much. Also less hilariously there were some bootleg mini pika plushies with actually (as far as i can tell) their own unique design? They have cute lil winter scarves and an art style that reminds me of the Magical Pokemon Adventure manga. A really cute and good bootleg that i would have loved to see as a real product! The only way you can even tell its a bootleg is because there's no marking on the tail. I dunno, maybe if i still have some brown fabric in the cupboard i could fix it? Or maybe its unique tail makes it even more special! I mean there's Cosplay Pikachu with its double tail marking so maybe this is her cousin Accessory Pikachu with no markings? He just likes wearing scarfs and hats and stuff. OMG HE'S THE POKEMON GO EVENT PIKACHU!!!!!!

Along the miscness of finding a few things for myself, i also found: cute lil pokemon pencilcase, kingdom hearts blind bag, cheap copy of Fruits Basket volume 1 cos the new remake is coming out soon and i wanna Get Hype! The KH blind bag was really weird cos i didnt know they now have an entirely different set as well as the keychains i bought before. Its kind of a shame the art style doesnt match cos vexen is only in the keychains, alas! But i do really love these ones! Theyre apparantly made by funko pop but dont have the art style AT ALL, they just look like really accurate versions of the characters in mini form. Its kinda like the 'distance animation' style in steven universe? (Incidentally they also do SU ones but they missed the opportunitu to actually use the distance style, lol) I got a Sora in his kh2 outfit and i'm decently happy with that, its not one i really wanted but its not a bad one either. But i think now i've tried the fun of surprise once i'll just buy the actual ones i want off ebay later. They have roxas in his organization outfit! With a happy smile!!!

Oh oh and then EVEN MORE XBOX GAMES OF THE WILD THRIFT STORE VOID! i managed to find the whole fable series, two assassins creeds, saints row, gta, some misc shooter games and racers that she wanted but i dont know much about, mass effect 2 and ff13. I think maybe one or two others cos i cant fully remember right now. Theyre all in separate bags strewn across the room and my shoulders feel like death so i'll sort through them later.

Aaaand i wrote up like 14 paragraphs more but tumblr didnt save my draft fpr some fuckin reason and now im way too tired to do it again

Briefer summary:

* had a huge horrible panic attack getting stuck in a skyscraper shopping centre clothes place full of screaming and every perfume smell and WHY DO I HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS HELL MAZE TO FIND THE ESCALATOR and seriously i was my most primal animalistic self and i went full fight or flight on this bitch

* had a lovely time visiting Cool Shop Grandma and rambled the story of how i met her and how we became friends but hhh too tired to rewrite. But anyway today i gave her a christmas pikachu plush as thanks for everything and cos her shop is moving on to its next location soon. She got really teary and gave me a big hug! She's gonna be at a comic con in march so i hope i'm able to go to that and see her again.

* went on a wild goose chase looking for harry potter merchandise and eventually found a gold plated replica of the movie prop version of the time turner and HELL YES my sis will love it!

* rambled about several market stalls that were cool but i can make a separate post about that in the morning when i find their contact details to advertise them

* got a plushie delibird and decided to take selfies with it everywhere to try and fight my social anxiety somehow. We went to a neat lil restaurant and had cheesy fries and a coke float!

* asked for a refund on an item for the first time ever and im proud of myself

* went off on a mystery bus trip to buy a preowned 3ds and pokemon games from a lady in an online preowned stuff facebook group and it didnt go horribly and i am glad! She was really nice and i witnessed A Good And Smart Parenting Moment and man it healed my heart and i wish i'd been raised that way. Again i'll probably ramble about the details later when im less tired, it really touched my heart seriously! And now i have MANY GIFTS FOR SIS!

* in total i was out present shopping from 9am to 8pm and i clicked my shoulder out of its socket for a split second from.all the heavy bags. Now im in a lot of aches and i need a sleeps

The End

[bendy-dreamland]

“Ahoy-hoy.”

“Hey, it’s me! Yer favorite ink de-”

“Nope. Good bye.”

“DON’T YOU DARE HANG UP!”

“Fine, fine! Uhg, da least you can do is call me more than… oh, I dunno, never! What do ya want anyway?”

“I need a favor.”

“As I expected, what is it dis time? You still owe me for da last one, and it was a doozy. We almost got caught.”

“I-I know, don’t remind me. But dis isn’t a bad one. I just need you to meet me an’ a friend of mine at a portal, possibly da one over on main, near da ol’ oak tree? It comes outta da statue.”

“It’s public.”

“I’ll be in human form, an’ I’m bringin’ my friend Henry wit’ me. You’ll be playin’ escort.”

“Hhhh… fine, but you’re buyin’ me dinner!”

“I’ll even buy ya dessert, baby~! See you tomorrow mornin’, nine o’clock sharp! Bye!”

“W-wait, Bendy! Don’t you hang up on m-! Oh, come on!”

--

Henry wasn’t sure how this happened, but Bendy somehow wormed his way into spending the night at his place tonight. He couldn’t even remember how it happened, damn toon logic. Well, now he’s stuck with a roommate for tonight in his small apartment. Luckily for him, Bendy was fine with taking his old couch.

As Henry worked on stirring a pot of bacon potato soup, he heard Bendy humming a song to himself as he looked around the living room. “Not much here, big guy. Ya live alone?”

“Yes, I do.” Henry replied, keeping his attention on the food.

“Hmm… wait, I thought you were datin’ someone. Or did dat end since we last chatted.” Bendy commented as he looked at some books on a shelf. Uhg, no comics or picture books, how boring.

With a heavy sigh, Henry looked over at him. “We broke up ten years ago, shortly after I left. How did you even know I was datin’ someone beforehand? You don’t like romance.”

“Oh, I don’t, but the office was gossipy.” The imp chuckled as he approached his creator. “You overhear stuff if everyone talks about it. People knew you were sweet on someone! But, uh, sorry about da break up.”

“It’s fine, it was mutual and necessary, something came up. This is done. You’re lucky this stuff is easy to make. Also, learn to peel potatoes better, you’re gonna be tastin’ some skin.”

Bendy blew a raspberry at him. “I ain’t a cook! I’m a dancer!”

“That reminds me.” Henry reached for two bowls, moving to dish up their dinner. “What exactly were you doin’ to get by here in Over World? You weren’t… stealin’, right? Never designed you to be a straight up thief.”

He scoffed, shaking his floating head. “No, no! I did a song an’ dance act at a really nice club, owned by a lovely couple. Sweetest people, took me in, thought I was an orphan, heh. I’d go out, perform stuff from the show as a human, wit’ out da toon stuff, an’ people loved it. Lived with the couple, da Andersons, but they moved to New York, an’ I stayed here, livin’ in da abandoned club fer six months now.”

He took the bowl when it was offered to it, he was already drooling over his favorite dish. “Fed mahself on donations I’d get from dancin’ in da streets. Collected cans an’ metal for da war effort, they’d give me change, it helped. Sometimes… I sneak into Toon World an’ take what I could get, pretendin’ to be some bum toon.” He followed Henry to the small dinner table in the kitchen, taking a seat. “Now, I got a question fer you, one ya didn’t answer earlier.”

Henry sat down, looking up at him. “Ask away.”

“Why do ya only got nine fingers? What happened to yer hand?”

The detective looked at his right hand. He only had four fingers, his pinky was completely missing, there was a huge amount of scar tissue where it was supposed to be, traveling down the front and back of his hand. He glanced over at the toon, seeing the curious look in those big, black eyes. “The war.”

Bendy shuddered visibly, his black outline wiggled as he did this. “I heard nothin’ but bad things about dat mess. Humans an’ toons, sent overseas. Lotta… lotta bad stuff, my contacts in Toon World have told me dat some toons come back pretty messed up.”

He looked at the bowl before looking back up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, wasn’t there long enough for shellshock to really get me.” Henry replied as he put a spoonful of stew into his mouth. “Sometimes, loud noises get me. Makes me think of the grenade that sent me flyin’ about ten feet in the air. Woke up four days later in a hospital, cute British nurse told me that I had a concussion, damage to my right leg, hip, and… lost my finger.”

A small smile came to his lips. “Some of my buddies from my troop visited me, they gave me my finger. One of them found it. Knew it was mine cause it still had the blistered finger nail from when I closed a jeep door on it a few days before. Nice gift, we put it into a jar of beer we found and threw it into a river. As a little… screw you, I guess.”

Bendy let out a nervous chuckle. “Heh, dat’s funny. Sorry dat ya, ya know, got sent over to fight.”

Henry just waved it off, shaking his head. “Nah, it’s fine. It happened, my dad fought in the previous one, and he came back fine. I’m fine, I lived to tell the tale, I’m here. With a small limp in my step, but I’m alive and kickin’. Gonna take more than an explosive to send me to the pearly gates.”

The demon laughed more, an honest laugh. Yet there was a small sense of dread with those words, what was it that could cut Henry’s life short? He looked at his creator, who returned to eating his soup, his attention on the newspaper he had set on the table earlier.

It’s been ten years since he last saw him, had watched the man leave Joey Drew Studios with a sad good bye, and a promise that they’d meet again. When Henry left, Bendy was banned from seeing him, with a threat from Joey. He had missed the animator, they were great friends, heck, Bendy saw him as his best friend!

And then Henry was fired, banned from the studio, because something happened between him and Joey.

After Henry left… well… Bendy noticed changes in the studio. Things took a strange turn, and he can’t… he can’t really figure out what to make of it all. And it wasn’t just at Joey Drew Studios, there was The Studio, in Toon World.

He had only visited once, and he knew there was something not right about it at all.

Bendy remembered the unsettling, unnatural air of Da Studio, of how everyone seemed to be almost in a trance-like state, that many of them had left the studio in Over World. And ink, it was everywhere, it was constantly flowing in the pipes. He didn’t get far, he just remembered seeing where the Ink Machine was located, and he never wanted to see it again.

It was so much bigger and more powerful than the original one in Joey Drew Studios…

Bendy shook his head and shoved a spoonful of soup into his mouth, deciding to just ignore those thoughts and forget about the Studio for the rest of the evening. He was gonna catch up with his creator, that was a much more enjoyable plan!

As the ate, Bendy asked Henry questions, like what he had gotten up to in the past ten years, how some of his cases went, if he was really as good of a P.I. as some of the humans and toons claimed him to be. Henry answered his questions and tried to ask his own of the demon, but Bendy only answered questions he wanted to answer. He was vague on the stuff that involved him getting into trouble, or how he got Henry back to his office. He also avoided questions about the studios.

Henry was suspicious, but figured that those were sore topics, or things Bendy couldn’t tell him just yet. Yet, that was a word he knew would be common with Bendy. The demon was always a mystery, Henry hadn’t been there when the toon first came into this world, not like the others, but Joey had. Joey said he appeared just like all the others one had and would, something had just… delayed the little guy.

Toons don’t get delayed in coming into creation unless if editing occurs at the same time of the creation, but that is rare. Then again, Bendy went through a lot of rough drafts from Henry’s original designs.

The mouth was a huge change, same with him losing and then gaining a tail, he even use to have a set of wings at one point. And the human appearance… Henry had made notes that he wanted Bendy to take on a human form for pranks, since demons could shape shift, but Joey never liked that idea.

But seeing Bendy with a tail now, and the ability to become a real human, not a toonish one, is mysterious.

Joey, what were you doing these past ten years?

After the meal and talking, Henry set up a makeshift bed on the couch for his unexpected guest. “We gotta get up early, I want to get to work on this case as soon as possible. And didn’t you say we’re meetin’ with your friend at nine?”

“Yep! He an’ his brother better be there, or they’re cruisin’ fer a bruisin’.” Bendy moved to begin removing his vest.

“What are you doin’?” Henry asked as he unfolded an old blanket for Bendy to use.

“Gettin’ undressed! Normally, if I ain’t in Over World, I’m as naked as da day ya created me, but here? Gotta wear clothes, only really got da one set and I don’t like sleepin’ in it. Besides, you’ve seen me in mah normal attire, so don’t make a fuss.”

“Hm. I just thought it was a redesign to spruce you up before the show got cancelled.” That happened sometimes, when series try to continue after having low ratings, they do redesigns of characters to get more attention. It doesn’t always work.

Bendy shrugged. “Nah, it’s my own work. Got some clothes from mah friends, fixed up da left sleeve cause I can’t really use it.” He tossed the shirt aside. “Even gave it mah li’l patch, ol’ dish face thought it was a good idea.”

Henry raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it. “Alright, whatever you say. Time for bed, don’t stay up and get into anythin’. If you need anythin’, I’m in the other room. Good night.”

The imp grinned, giving a nod. “Night Henry!” He waved, watching the human head to a different room before seeing the door clothes. He let out a small sigh, rubbing at the back of his head as he looked around the apartment from where he stood. He hoped they could figure out what’s up with Joey and where he went soon, he didn’t want anything to happen to Henry. Joey would do something to the guy, he just knew it…

--

“Okay, this is da spot.” Bendy pointed to a small area, where a man stood in dark clothes. He was clearly a toon, though he appeared to look somewhat like a dog. He stood before a fenced off brick wall, watching Bendy and Henry with careful eyes.

“Reason for business?” The dog asked, his voice as stern as his face.

“Detective Henry Ross.” Henry approached, showing his verification to enter Toon World. “I am investigatin’ the disappearance of Joseph Drew. We have permission to enter to continue the investigation to find any clues to his whereabouts.”

The dog looked over the verification, seeing that it was certified between the mayor of this town and the one in Toon Town. “Alright, you can go. But what about this guy?” He pointed at Bendy, who put on a plastic grin.

“I am his assistant in da case!” Bendy continued to smile. “Benjamin Daemon, I knew Joey Drew an’ am a friend of Mr. Ross here. I’m also in contact wit’ da people waitin’ fer us on da other side of da portal.”

He got a hard glare from the dog who turned and approached a phone attached to the brick wall. It was cartoony in nature and after he dialed a number, the mouth piece began to move as a voice came through. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Got a couple of guys wanting to come over, are there people waiting for a Benjamin Daemon and a Henry Ross?”

The phone was quiet for a moment before the mouth piece began to speak again. “Yeah, two guys are waiting on this side. Let ‘em through.”

The dog hung up and opened the gate of the fence with a key from his pocket. “Just walk through the wall. Watch out, it’ll try to pull you back in.”

“Don’t worry, I know mah way around a portal.” Bendy chuckled and grabbed Henry’s hand, making his grab at the back of his vest. “Do not let go of me until we pass through. Dis one is a doozy.”

Henry didn’t like the sound of that, he didn’t usually use this portal, he often used the one near his office. But Bendy insisted on this one and his contacts knew it, so he was stuck with it. He followed after him, holding onto the golden vest tightly as he watched his creation push his hand against the bricks. He watched as Bendy’s hand morphed through the brick, as if he was pushing his hand into gelatin, before his upper body went in.

Soon enough, Henry was being pulled in, the sensation was cold and weird. He never did like traveling through wall portals, they always felt so weird. He closed his eyes, it was always blindingly bright going through these, and he knew that it would be too colorful on the other side.

Bendy had no trouble though, he was so use to this sort of travel that he was immune to the blinding white and then the sudden surge of colors that was right ahead of him. He could hear the corny, upbeat, happy singing of something as he approached before a cartoonish hand shoved through the swirling portal of colors in front of him.

“Here we go!” Bendy grinned, grabbing at the hand as he was tugged forward. He felt the familiar chill of the portal as he was pulled through the colors. It stuck to his body as he was pulled towards a very familiar figure.

“Hey there, short stack.” The figure smirked, seeing Bendy come through with someone. “And you did bring yerself a friend.”

“Yep!” Bendy laughed, stumbling forward after Henry smacked into his back. “Sorry about dat, ol’ man, I forget about da landin’.”

Henry huffed, straightening himself out before he looked at the other toon. He was taller than Bendy, an object head, a cup. He wore red pants with a black shirt, a red and white striped bandana was around his throat, though Henry knew there was nothing under it. Like Bendy, his cup head floated over his shoulders.

“Cuphead!” The imp laughed again as he hugged onto the toon. “Mmmm~! Did ya miss mah sweet face, baby?” He planted a big, wet, cartoony kiss on Cuphead, who shouted and shoved the other off. Bendy just landed on the ground, laughing even harder than before.

“Hehehe, been a while, eh Bendy?” Another toon approached, dressed similar to Cuphead, though in a blue color scheme. He turned his attention to Henry, smiling. “Ah, good morning, Henry!”

Bendy stopped laughing abruptly and looked up at his creator. “You know Mugman?” He asked as he got to his feet.

“Yeah, I know him and his twin brother. We worked a case together last year, and Mugman here helps develop my photos for me when I can get into contact with him.”

Mugman chuckled. “I do it more as a hobby, but I’m happy to be of help.”

Cuphead and Mugman, former stars from Studio MDHR’s biggest hit, Cuphead: Don’t Deal With the Devil. They were two kids who made a deal with the Devil himself at his casino and had many adventures fighting baddies to get their soul contracts in order to save their own skins from the prince of darkness.

It had ran for a while and did well, but after the big fight with the Devil and a bonus set of episodes, the studio lost funding and didn’t do well against other competition. So, the two cup brothers and their cast of colorful characters moved on to Palomino City, a place known for housing lost toons.

When a studio goes under or decides to remove characters from their casts, the Toons move to Palomino City to live. They can find work in Toon World and Over World, but they no longer have studios to return to in order to continue their shows. Sometimes, rarely, do they find work in other studios, but most just get simple work.

They are, however, not treated well.

Many humans, specifically the higher class and those of a certain heritage and standing see them as being on the same level as those of lower classes, the poor, and those of different races and cultures. In other words, toons are a minority group and are treated as such.

It actually surprised Henry that Bendy was able to find stage work in Over World as a performer, most usually work behind the scenes, or as staff members of clubs. It wasn’t often they got to perform unless if the business was owned by toons.

The cup brothers got lucky, they were able to become bounty hunters of sorts. Just like in the show, they tracked down cartoon characters, only this time it wasn’t for their contracts, it was for people skipping out on payments and such. They still worked for the Devil himself sometimes, who lived in Toon World, somewhere.

Henry wasn’t sure where the Devil was, he was a strange toon, one that the animator didn’t understand. He knew people at Studio MDHR and had asked about that character and how he came to be. No one could ever give him a straight answer. How… peculiar. But that isn’t his business of other animator’s work and choices, he wasn’t going to dwell too much on a cartoon demon that isn’t his own.

“Hey.” A voice spoke up, catching the group’s attention. A human stood near the portal, glaring at them. “Alright, you’re all here, now get! No loitering around the portal!”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get yer britches in a knot.” Cuphead snorted, turning away with the others following after him. “So, Henry, what brings you here and how is Bendy involved? Must be pretty big to have him using a public portal like that.”

That last comment caught Henry’s attention, Bendy doesn’t use public portals? Are there hidden ones? Probably, most likely in seedy areas. He probably uses those since he’s on Toon World’s most wanted. “I’m here on a case, Bendy is here to help me. We’re lookin’ for any information on the disappeance of Joey Drew.”

Mugman frowned at this. “Joey Drew? Must be a big deal for you to bother with that, no one here cares that he’s gone. In fact, when people found out, I swear there was cheerin’. Newspaper said a great evil was missin’ and that we don’t have to deal with it.”

“I was hired to find him, I think there is somethin’ big happenin’ behind the scenes. Bendy’s filled me in on what little he knows, and I even went back to Joey Drew Studios to see for myself what happened.”

“And whatcha found wasn’t enough?” Cuphead asked as he put his hands behind his head.

Henry shrugged. “I found a strange machine before the place flooded, called the Ink Machine.”

This got the cup brothers’ attention as the looked at one another, before looking at Bendy. “He knows?” They both asked.

“He knows just as much as I do an’ what I’ve told you two about.” Bendy snipped, glaring. “I don’t want him gettin’ anywhere near dat screamin’, metal death trap! He almost got himself killed in da place cause of da machine.”

“You two know about it?” Henry asked, ignoring Bendy’s shouts.

Mugman waved his hand a little. “As Bendy said, just what he knows. We only really know that Joey Drew created it to speed up production for shorts, but that’s about it. But Bendy doesn’t seem to like it all that much.”

Henry glanced at his creation. “Clearly. Anyway, Mugman, I’m gonna need you to develop the pictures I took. Sorry, it’s got some ink on it, hopefully the film is still good.” He held out the camera he had used in the studio, which Mugman carefully took.

The mug toon looked it over, giving a little nod. “It’ll be a small challenge, but I’m sure I can clean up anythin’ that needs it. Still seems to be in good condition.” He shifted it a bit in his hold, but almost dropped it. Quickly, he caught it, but hit a button, blinding the four with a flash of light.

“Ow! Mugs, what was dat fer?!” Cuphead rubbed his eyes, uhg, he was seeing spots.

“Sorry, butterfingers today, it seems! I think I took a picture, terribly sorry, Henry. I’ll get rid of it when I develop the film.”

“It’s alright.” Henry replied, blinking a few times. “So, we need to sit down and plan things out, figure out how to go about gatherin’ up information here.”

Cuphead nodded, smirking. “Well, we can go to Tizzy’s Diner, since a certain someone owes me dinner like he promised.”

Bendy rolled his eyes. “You said dinner, it’s too early fer dat!”

“Nope, I want breakfast, didn’t get a chance to eat it this mornin’!”

“Cause you woke up late.” Mugman rolled his eyes, ignoring the stammered defense from his twin. “Let’s just go, I’m gonna need a coffee to get through a conversation with those two.”

Henry chuckled, following after the taller twin. “No kiddin’, didn’t realize that those two liked to argue.”

“They’re good friends, but they are always at each other’s throats. Come on, I’ll buy us breakfast, my treat.”

The four arrived to a small diner, called Tizzy’s. Henry had been here once before with someone from his past, they shared coffee and the best peach cobbler he ever had. Tizzy herself was there, a bat toon who always had her curly locks pushed out of her face by a polka dot bandana. She had a stern look on her face when she saw Cuphead, crossing her arms as she tapped her foot.

“You gonna finally pay off that tab, Cuppy?” She narrowed her eyes at him as he sheepishly laughed.

“Y-yeah, don’t worry…! I’ll get da money real soon, just got hired fer a new job, dontcha worry dat pretty head of yours, Tiz!”

“Ha!” She smirked, hands on her hips now. “I’ve heard that song and dance before. Mugs, at least I can trust you. So, you ordering?”

Mugman chuckled a little, saying that they would be as he ushered the other three to a quiet booth off to the side, away from most of the other customers of the greasy spoon. Once they were seated and given menus, along with everyone ordering themselves some drinks, Henry got right down to business.

“I’m gonna need as much information on Joey Drew and Joey Drew Studios as you two can get. Everythin’ from the past ten years.”

Cuphead gave a nod as he leaned forwards, resting his arms on the table. “Gotcha, we’ll ask around, keep it on the downlow. There’s a lotta people here who won’t give up what they know without a price, but Mugs an’ I got our way of gettin’ info.”

“And if it becomes too much trouble, I’m sure our boss will help.”

Bendy shook his head. “No, we ain’t gettin’ dat guy involved, too much trouble wit him, and I already owe him enough as it is… don’t even let him know I’m back here.”

“We’ll keep our mouths shut then.” Mugman frowned, but smiled when Tizzy walked over with a tray, giving them their drinks before taking their orders. Once she was gone, he turned back to the group. “I know a guy, we often use him to find out if a bounty has been seen or if they’re in hidin’. We can probably get a few things out of him, but he’s really stubborn.”

“You mean Mike?” Cuphead asked, getting a nod. “Great, don’t like askin’ him fer information, gets real snippy about it. Won’t even tell us his source! But he’s a man with connections.”

“Mike?” Henry asked, taking out his little notebook and a pen.

“Sarsaparilla Mike, he owns Candy Corners. We know him through Baroness von Bonbon, use to work under her, a background character from our show.” Mugman replied as he took a drink of his coffee, seeing Henry taking notes. “He’s a man who is tight lipped, but can get information from just about anyone, he’s a man who knows what he’s doin’. Really scary how well he is at that.”

“I think he’s got good connections, but like hell he’s gonna tell us who or what they are.” Cuphead huffed.

Henry nodded, making note of this. “Bendy, is there anyone you know who can help?”

“Ehh… not really, tried to keep myself on da downlow these past few years, lost a lotta connections, but I still talk to these two. I told ya, I’ve been in hidin’, can’t have anyone know I’m Bendy da Dancin’ Demon. So call me Benjamin here.” Bendy whispered.

“Right.” Henry frowned. “Well, maybe we can give Mike a visit after we’re done here, could make things a little easier. Or we could check out The Studio, see what we find there.”

“No!” Bendy hissed, slapping his hand down on the table. “We ain’t goin’ there just yet! Only as a last resort!”

“But what if he’s hidin-!” Mugman started but the look he got from the human-toon made him clamp his mouth shut. “R-right, we’ll… leave it for last…”

Cuphead got up from the table and grabbed Bendy by the back of the shirt, much to his protest, and dragged him outside. He pushed the demon into a small alley next to the building and shoved him against the wall. “What the hell, man? You looked ready to jump an’ slaughter my brother!”

“I did not!”

“Your tail is out!”

Bendy glanced, seeing that, yes, his tail was out and looked sharp as a knife. He hissed through his teeth before returning his attention to the cup. “Listen, brat. I don’t want either of you or Henry goin’ to Da Studio. Not until we have a better idea of what happened to Drew. If he’s there, fine, we’ll leave him there to rot in da hell he made, but I don’t want any of you guys goin’ there. Who knows what horrors are inside.”

“Horrors?”

“Believe me when I say dis, but Da Studio is nothin’ like the one in Over World. I only went back once since da show ended, an’ it ended up wit’ me losin’ an arm an’ gainin’ you-know-what. I don’t remember what happened in there, but I’ve got nightmares I never recall later, just phantom sensations of fear an’ pain. Bet you don’t want yer li’l brother bein’ in a similar situation. Or worse.”

Cuphead stepped back, looking about ready to argue, but he bowed his head. “I don’t want anythin’ happenin’ to Mugman.”

“Then trust me, Cups. We stay as far away from Da Studio until its our only option, or things get a lot worse.”

END OF ACT ONE SCENE THREE