#i like it bc he does this stuff and then he is also murdering ppl (racists and evil) in cold blood. yay

[hanzajesthanza]

crossroads spoilers, geralt is a good person what’s new

that scene with geralt choosing the first roach made me feel like i was watching a wholesome hallmark movie… (even though horses in this setting, aren’t pets…) it felt like:

“protagonist goes to animal shelter to get a pet, and there are allllllll these “better” animals he could get, and there is one smaller and littler one than the rest… but this one sticks its head out and goes “🥺”, so this is the one our protagonist chooses”

it’s like “i went to the spca to look at the cats and this smalllllll runty kitten stuck its head out and meowed at me… so i am getting her :)”

it’s fanservice for sure… but come on. this scene was so cute. and i like how it had flair of being told through one-sided dialogue, we hear nothing from geralt, do not read his thoughts, but we know what he is thinking and what he soing…

and this says so much about him ❤️ … all which we know already… but i like to see it reaffirmed over and over again 😇

[marsbotz]

ALSOOOO man i will never forgive casual sg fans for their peabrain takes on gihun in s2. THINK……

[bravewolfvesperia]

/ Since I mention in my pinned post that this blog has some changes from canon, I'm going to make a rundown post that I'll be linking in my muse info on my blog. My timeline post covers some of this too and has other things canon to my muse that aren't here because they're timeline based and not direct changes based. I'll update this as needed.

Repede had another owner before Yuri got him in the game. I'm combining this with FS. Thus, Repede would have been basically an infant when he and Lambert ended up with the knights. From there he took to Yuri as he did in the FS drama CD so Yuri was primarily in charge of Repede during his stay with the knights, but he and Flynn raised Repede together as is in line with the game. This means they continued raising him together even after Yuri left.

In the JP version of the game, Yuri says he was with the knights for a short time but doesn't specify how long that time was, so I'm completely yeeting the "three months" dub aspect from this blog. I can't reasonably assume he signed up, took the exams, went into training, went from errand boy to battle status, then went on normal missions and left in the span of three months. So as usual, we're following the JP timeline. Generally anything the dub makes up or actively changes from the original context/tone gets yeeted here.

In the FS drama CD, Flynn is extremely repetitive about Yuri quitting the knights and with his nagging. At least with @mistralxsoul and anyone else who prefers it the following way in threads with my muse, we're toning it down because it just feels absolutely batshit to us how bad it is in the drama CD (it's worse than even the movie itself).

Since the timeline for Yuri and Flynn's knighthood conflicts super horrendously between the novel, FS/FS drama CD and the game, I'm mixing all of it together (primarily because I consider the novel more canon than the FS drama CD). Basically (for my muse), they signed their names and didn't take the exams immediately, but when they eventually did it was at least a couple years later, due to Yuri still having his teen appearance when he signed his name to join in the novel. This is because otherwise, if I average my muse's teen age out to be fifteen/sixteen and his age to be about eighteen/nineteen in the knights, it would mean he'd been with the knights (including training, etc) anywhere from 2-4 years if his sign up was immediately after the novel's events. If they were to sign up and join immediately after the novel timeline, it also makes even less sense because Flynn's attitude in FS and his relationship with Yuri (and remember, the FS drama CD comes before the movie's timeline and Flynn was even worse about Yuri's attitude in the CD) would seem like it literally 180'd overnight.

So basically, to avoid all this insanity, a short summarized timeline for my muse would be: they signed up but didn't join right away, Flynn moved away and was gone for a couple years or so after the events of the novel, both of them changed in personality/behavior drastically in that time, they met up at the exams, they went into training, they got sent to Niren's squad, they were more errand boys than actual knights when they were still super fresh newbies and Yuri was extremely annoyed with that, they were actual knights for a while (I'm going to say Yuri was a knight for at least six months or more, especially if I consider the trajectory of Flynn's behavior toward him in the drama CD through the end of FS), the events of FS were not one straight timeline and things happened between the days etc etc, then Yuri left.

Following the game's drama CDs, Yuri hesitated a lot more when Flynn was injured at Zaude. If not for Flynn nudging him to go after Alexei even while wounded, Yuri wouldn't have left him there.

Following the same drama CDs, it's Raven and Repede who find and look after Yuri when he wakes up after Zaude. That is to say, Repede was already with Raven and lunged when he sniffed out Yuri in his room (super doggo powers). Raven followed Repede in a panic, who ran to Yuri's room upon realizing Yuri was there, and Raven finds Yuri awake but right in the middle of passing back out (the sound is basically Raven's voice being distant with some ringing, so it's from Yuri's point of view that Raven is trying to get him to steady himself but he passes back out). Raven takes care of him from there until he's recovered properly enough to go back. In this time, Rita did investigating and eventually, with the others minus Raven, went to Zopheir after deciding they couldn't dawdle and just wait in their grief. While they're there, Yuri and Raven have headed out after them and show up together and reunite with the rest of the group. Raven has already been updated on what Yuri knows from Duke at this point (Duke saved him as usual, but the drama CD changes come in after that), so the two of them update everyone else.

In the game, there's a skit with Yuri, Flynn and Karol where Yuri mentions "playing in a river", but in the novel, they were actually getting water at the river and the other kids were playing in the river when they got attacked by a monster, fell into the river (Yuri also mentions (I thiiiink in another unrelated skit) that just falling into "a river" was enough to panic him), and Flynn grabbed onto a merman. For my muse, I'm just going with Yuri simplifying the situation to Karol while keeping the novel's event as my muse's canon.

[the-exiled-comic]

have u ever done a post about crowstar and her thought process behind everything? srry if i missed it and u already did one (u dont have to answer this if so!) but i love her as someone who only feels remorse once it starts effecting her child and the moment to make it right is long past, but then starclan didnt give her the grace that they gave autumnstar and shes got that curse yo rlly interesting stubborn til death character i need in her brain

crowbar post... for me? :pleading: i might have talked about her in the past but i have no idea where i say things

despite me reminding ppl shes been deserving this lately she is one of my fave characters to write. "its too late to make it right" is pretty key to her character ya, i'll add more under the cut

crowstar has a lot of sympathetic qualities to me but like she does a lot of wrong things and knows that they are wrong. so i dont consider her a tragic villain in the same sense that firespots is, bc he's just extremely off the deep end. he's in a bunch of shit he truly did not start aggravating until like poking at treeclan and murdering cloverfall. in like a technical sense you can say it started with the rebellion bc i think he jumped the gun and went in under prepared but its different to me. but anyway this isnt about boy... we are going to talk about girl...

if we start from the very beginning, she's like a jealous mean girl kid. she has some unresolved issues with her family, her sister nightstride is older than her and actually knows her dad but crow doesn't know her own. so she projects onto autumnstar as a father figure and doesn't really like that firespots doesn't like his dad. she would be a good daughter, it would be so easy for her to be a good daughter! why is firepaw such a bad son!?

she's then groomed into being a kind of protege for autumnstar, she loves the attention but this sort of isolates her from her peers at a young age. she's the bratty teacher's pet that no one really gets along with crow goes on to date fallensnow and this is weird for her, affection for someone who isn't her family? for the first time? and then she gets burned by the fact he's avoidant and probably doesn't even like women (i could go on a tangent about fallensnows sexuality but this is not the post for it LMAO) so he leaves and shes like geeze!! that the only thing i ever loved! autumnstar explodes and shes leader now, her ex tries to kill her and then she has a little baby boy... theres also no more autumnstar around to be like "yeeeup start training that boy for war" so she just tries to raise him with a lot of love

and you see now how thats been backfiring as fallenscar is a super sheltered adult who has little grasp on reality. she lied to him about what exactly went down with the rebellion. killed a child for "attacking" him. told him about her curse which in turn made him have questionable faith in starclan (this hasnt really come into play just yet but it will soon, trust). made him deputy and then died before he could ever truly prepare himself for the world. good intentions, a lot of love... but that's just not really enough

and the curse. crowstar just fixated on the fact its not fair, why didnt this happen to autumnstar? is starclan misogynistic? more at 11 if this solved any problems... debatable. starclan stuff will get answered later in the story

crowstar to me is like. pitiable. she made too many enemies, didn't grow up in a place that fostered change, and then took over and didn't try to amend that until it was way too late. and the enemies.

now.. crowstar likes male attention. she is a straight woman i am sorry ;^; to me she is one of those people who cant make friends with anyone she sees as competition for this. she started off negatively with firespots and whisperleaf out of her love for autumnstar and fallensnow respectively. and she probably did not like that the men in her age group liked other girls. she did not like that her sister had all the amiable relationships. she's very jealous by nature and it hurt so much of her friendships

i like her and enjoy writing her but goddamn she is a plethora of unlikeable traits- some of which are things only I know as her creator- but it still surprised me that a lot of people like her. im glad you all do!

i know i said i dont view her as tragic but like the last few days of her life are a little tragic in the sense she IS realising just how badly she fucked up and theres not a lot of things she can do to fix it. she knows her baby boy is going to suffer greatly for this and all she can do is say sorry and tell him to be strong, shes out of options because she took too long. learning that yeah actually being a tyrant ruined her life

my fave way to write villains... their final moments are of anguish about their life choices :) except autumnstar hes just having a good time i dont think hes self reflected literally ever in his life. he thinks hes playing a video game

[lostinlovingrevery]

Logan headcanons u say...

I think Logan is such a big animal lover and animals love him.

Also im psyched about my spider girl reader fic with Logan so ive been doing research in his relationship with spidey and omg its so cute they're such a good pair.

This is relevant bc theres actually a story with them where they team up and Logan is there to stop hunters from killing these animals while spidey is solving a series of murders and Logan is super protective of the animal that everyone thinks is killing ppl

ugh i love this man sm

HI ROSE!!!

NO I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!

Also Im excited as well!!! They sound like an adorable pairing- I actually saw smth once where one of the spidey people said that he is hell of a kisser LMAO. You come up with the best stuff so I know you're going to do great with this fic!!!!

Logan with Animals

a natural instinct comes to logan to protect the innocent i think

and that DEFINITELY includes animals!!!

I believe he has a natural connection to them due to his mutation!!!

dogs, cats, deer, rabbit, mammals are probably the ones he likes the most BUT he'd definitely protect a fish too!!!

Good luck to any asshole that tries to be mean to an animal in front of him. he WILL kick their asses

he isn't OBVIOUS about his care for them. He'll still have that "We dont need a cat" attitude, but of course be besties with said cat lol

ocassionally you'll catch his soft spot. clicking his tongue at the feral alley cat so he could pet them. talking to a little squirrel thats sitting nearby. maybe whistle back to that little songbird

animals are relaxed with him too. They know the good vibes.

he talks to them like people sometimes! hes talking to a dog and hes like "Cmon bub, you absolutely know better than that." (snatched his sandwich off his plate)

fun fact about me- i am SUCH an animal lover. and so is my family. My mom used to work at a local petstore, and she'd bring home pretty much the loners!

rabbits, frogs, cats, birds, chinchillas

i had mice, bunnies, and hermit crabs growing up!

of course we have cats and dogs too

if thats you (i actually have an ask buried about a reader who brings pets home all the time to logan!) logan would be SO exsperated but then is like "okay but i guess they're cute"

he's not afraid of them either

will yoink a snake (Gently)

will get extremely close to an alligator

doesnt get offended when attacked by random chance. he just heals and was like "well now you feel stupid don't you."

but he doesn't get angry because he knows what its like to be scared and alone

anyhoo like I said he would be so protective of animals!!!!

obviously wolverines are predators but i think he has a soft spot for prey animals!!!

imagine him with a little bunny !!!!!!!!!

Bottle feeding newborn kittens you found in the alleyway, you brought mom in too- but you got kitten milk to help keep the babies healthy!!!!

he is on it every 2 hours. weighs them and everything. so gentle and careful and he reassures momma cat that he'll return her baby promptly

and yes, he has NO patience for any type of abusers or any kind of cruelty towards animals!!! he will hunt them down

imagine a mission involving a lab that was using animal testing, he'd get SO ANGRY. of course you all set them free, get them to the proper places to fix them up and find them good homes/habitats but lord he'd still be so livid. will beat the shit out of those responsible!!!!

man he just does have a soft spot for the cute fuzzy babies. hes on the floor on his belly with those newborn babies from earlier, they're opened their eyes and ears and starting to walk again and they're climbing over his arms and hands

based on a true story with me : one of them gets extremely attached to logan and SCREAMS everytime they see him because they want his attention!

of course you guys kept that one

your pets are allowed on the couch and bed of course. why wouldn't they be?

they only get the best food too btw. none of this cheap dollar store crap

animals just make him happier. they accept him more easily than people do!!!

[nyxi-pixie]

Hiiiii.

Sorry to bother you, I wanted to know if you had any fic recs? Your writing is so good and your tastes are immaculate, and I am starving for any kind of good content. Please?

its not possible to bother me love dw <3

NOW. i dont actually read all that much anymore bc i am horrendously picky but this does give me an excuse to hype up the few authors that have satisfied my unreasonably specific tastes 🤩.

so. a few bsd recs for you (except theyre 99% skk because im horribly predictable forever). everyone go read all of these and tell the authors how wonderful they are in the comments please <3

anything @booksandpaperss has ever written is genius work and everyone should read it. could talk abt all of their stuff for hours (and i have🤩 they put up w so much of me bothering them godbless). also our brains do some accidental crazy mind melding shit whenever either of us write fic so if you like any of my stuff you will like theirs. thats the rules. <3

like twin stars in the dark (we collide)- dead apple skk porn as a vehicle for 22skk analysis. makes me salivate i have read it so many times. they get 22skk better than anyone🙏

my lies are for you to keep (my love for you to lose) - the only take on beastskk that matters to me ever. you can actually see me losing my mind in the comment i wrote on this fic bc of how fucking insane every single line made me. theres SO much packed into this thing its fucking crazy i NEEEEED everyone to read it. thats all <3

till death, I'll give you my breath - dazai death timeloop. this fic terrifies me so much i await every update with my teeth chattering and my heart pulsing so rapidly i should be hospitalised. the first scene of chapter 2 genuinely had me on the verge of tears im unwell about it.

(elli also has some jjk stuff thats REALLYREALLY good and if ur into jjk u should check that out too.)

NOW. aside from being a propaganda machine for my fav writer ever. Heres some other stuff i love.

the second perspective by @wildflowerteas. murder mystery/detective noir stuff w some time fuckery. the au of all time. mashes aspects of beast, canon, and some extra special niko sauce into a mixing bowl and goes crazy w it. just Such a genuinely impressive piece of writing. i could talk abt the technical brilliance of it for hours but i will stop myself. you gotta commit to this thing because it WILL make u crazy. also i loveee the sskk. its like if we had the beast first meeting sskk forever. SOSO GOOD!!!!

did fate guide the gun or did you? by @kanetheo. i read this pretty soon after chapter 109 and it genuinely fried my brain for months. the writing style is beautiful (as for everything they write AUGHH!!!) and the angst is delectable. the way it intersperses more fun silly skk moments with just. complete misery. GOD. it just hits. ive reread it quite a few times and it never fails to make me go crazy. srsly cannot rec this enough.

the decomposition of dazai osamu by @hella1975 this shot several bullets through my brain and i still havent recovered. i keep thinking 'oh i should reread that' and then i dont bc some part of my brain still concerns itself w maintaining whats left of my sanity. BUT its crazy good and everyone should read it and suffer at least once. EVERYONE LOVES YOU OSAMU!!!! EVERYONE EATS YOU!!! line of all time lets all kill ourselves.

smoke held conversations by feralrookie - i havent reread this in a while but it does cool stuff with nlh and the skkisms are really good in this too. ppl often write teen chuuya as less intelligent than he actually is. hes very observant, esp of dazai, and this fic gave me that 🙏

i called your name til the fever broke by forest_raccoon - vampire chuuya. biting is involved. i blacked out reading it. enough said.

[low-budget-korra]

Let's talk about Jinx

As an older sister myself, Season 1 Jinx infuriated the shit outta me. And some of her stans were so mean to Vi that it only added to this anger I felt.

"but Jinx was traumatized" So was Vi and basically everyone else from Zaun. And I'm not here to diagnose her, I already know that's a lot of people that take Jinx as BPD representation but I don't know if this is official or just a HC but even if she is, that's not an excuse to be mean to people.

Sure, it's something that blurs your judgment and everything, especially when you're having a mental/emotional crisis situation, but still, after everything it's okay, you need to be held accountable for the shit you did. And I'm saying this bc I see a lot of people that hide behind their diagnosis and use them as an excuse to be mean without consequences. Please, don't do this.

And something that I realized was that as soon as Silco was gone, Jinx started to get better. I'm sorry Silco apologists but Silco wasn't a good father figure, as he only fueled Jinx psychosis, insecurities and paranoia, and encouraged her to be okay with murder people and everything he also did.

And gets funnier cuz even Sevika became a better person after Silco was gone

"then why does Jinx still hallucinate Silco as her mentor figure?". Because he was, a bad one for sure but still a mentor figure. Sure, Vander was her father for a longer time but Silco was her father figure during an important and vulnerable part of her life, so it makes sense she still looks for him and maybe doesn't even acknowledge all the bad stuff he did to her.

"but she was only being guided by trauma, just like Caitlyn in season 2". Exactly! Understand why something happens, doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

I've also seen people commenting that Jinx was acting off character, that she was too calm and there were missing the chaotic Jinx from s1. And like bro? Do you care abt the well being of your fav character? Like I've said, she was more calm bc she didn't have anyone in her ears telling her that she was abandoned, that she was right to blow shit and kill ppl...also, the fact that people from Zaun were looking at her and treating her as martyr, also made her see things differently.

Remember Vander's line "when people look up to you, you can't be selfish" and that's why Jinx was just so chill. Isha also played a big part of this, as she became an older sister herself and prob, even unconsciously, started to relate and understand Vi.

Also, sure as hell she didn't die. She just knew Vi would never let her go/or punished by her crimes, and this would create conflict between Vi and Caitlyn, and Caitlyn with Piltover. And I think she saw how much Caitlyn cared for Vi , still in the battlefield after Vi was hurt, and knowing Vi loves Cait, she realized that Vi deserved to have this. She chooses to let go and walk away, a huge ass character development considering she was asking Vi to kill Cait outta of jealousy back in s1.

[fancy-fangs]

hahaha. ask game. Akechi.

Oh boys, strap in for this journey

How I feel about this character:

He's so fucked up, there's so much wrong with him, I want him so bad

Honestly though, I think especially through The Royal version of Persona 5, Akechi is a super interesting character with so many layers to all of his interactions and scenes. I will not go into a character study now, but I think he is such an interesting choice as an antagonist and especially as the antithesis to Joker. He brings such a cool perspective into the game and your actions as Joker, causing such a different view into the world.

I have so many things I think I could say but I should calm the fuck down

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Now, and this will be a huge shock, but I do really only ship him with Akira/Ren/Joker/whatever man why can't he have one consistent name. Shuake my beloveds, I put them in a snow globe and shake it around violently

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I love when him and Ann are besties in fanfics or anything else. Generally him actually becoming friends with (some of) the thieves is always such a joy to see, but the way ppl write him and Ann as friends brings me so much joy. I just think it would work so well, they would get along pls I am begging

Also his relationship to futaba means the world to me, partly as Jokers sister, bc that just makes it so so so much funnier. But also both of them being deeply emotionally constipated but caring about each other in their own freaky ways makes me giggle

My unpopular opinion about this character:

He does not know how to be normal about romance - guys, listen, I say this with all the love and respect in my heart, but this guy doesn't know how the love people and he especially doesn't know how to let himself be loved. He has not experienced a single human relationship where the opposite didn't want to exploit him in some way. He has always been a puppet and a tool to someone. He's not normal about any of that stuff in the slightest. Let him be a freak.

He is also not a housewife, I am begging, he is feral

I know that one's more shuake focused and not specifically about him, but tbh I've also not seen enough of the fandom perception of him outside of fan art and some fics, so I don't have a lot to criticize yet.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

I'll be real, I just wish that in the normal P5 ending there was any sort of care for what happened to Akechi? Like if you don't play royal/don't play third semester, he just dies in the engine room and that's it???? He just doesn't get mentioned ever again? Besides in the velvet room where Igor tells Joker he's literally the other side of this coin and his antithesis chosen by the gods and all that like???? Wdym he dies for the phantom thieves, they find out he was manipulated all this time (even more than before) and no one gives a fuck??? Wild. Like at least some dialogue or something

TLDR: I've seen the atrocities hes committed, but I'm ready to accept him as he is, even with with the murder <3

[astro-nomaly]

I am very glad to be included in the list of people insane abt your aus. Anyways, tell me something about your graveyard shift au. It seems vast and I’ve been a little nervous to go figure out what the deal is, but everything you’ve been saying makes me very curious. How did Lloyd meet(?) ghosts. Does Red ever get mad at QuietOne over shapeshifting? How are the three of them friends AND enemies (delicious, but. how)? What’s Harumi’s whole… deal?

Also— would you like me to make some sort of sign off so you know it’s the flirty anon even when I’m not being particularly flirtatious?

Oh wow yeah so TGS is VERY complicated but I will answer to the absolute best of my ability. Yap session incoming:

How did Lloyd meet(?) ghosts? < so, this is pretty early. Lloyd is something called the Conduit (original I know) which means he's a liminal person with unfettered access to the Veil's energy - basically, he's the death avatar. he doesn't know this, though, because Misako's been keeping it secret by having him wear a vengestone/deepstone ring (i haven't decided which kind of stone to use yet) that suppresses this stuff. he also lives in a very not-liminal area. however, after getting moved to Jamanakai, he's surrounded by liminal energy. Harumi, who rlly wants him using his powers, gets him to take a job at the local graveyard. a few weeks in, he's shot while going home late at night. when he wakes up, he discovers he can suddenly see ghosts. He meets the Ninja ghosts bc he decides to go back to the graveyard to 'confront' his trauma after being shot, only to find five different ghosts Very Excited to bother him haha

Does Red ever get mad at Quiet One over shapeshifting? < hmm idrk? I haven't thought ab this one too much haha. she definitely hates Harumi post-reveal, and hates Quiet One on principle, but I don't think she has much beef with the actual shapeshifting so much as the steps taken to get there (aka murder and cannibalism sorry Harumi babe). Honestly, she's more pissed off about being lied to and manipulated than anything post-reveal, and pre-reveal she just doesn't want the fucking world to end. Also, Q is annoying. that's. that's the whole thing of their relationship pre-reveal, Q play-flirts with Red and Red finds her annoying lmao

How are the three of them friends AND enemies (delicious, but. how)? < fantastic question! so, this au was completely upended from being just Lloyd and Harumi centric with a side of Akita to full on Lloyd, Akita, and Harumi because of the anime SpyxFamily I'm not even joking. So, basically: in 'civilian' form, they all attend the same school. Lloyd meets both of them his first day, and gets super attached immediately bc they're actually Nice to him (he doesn't have friends what a loser /j). He doesn't know either's true identity. Akita gets attached to Lloyd as well bc she's been isolated for a while, and for a hot minute she and Harumi are Friend-In-Laws. Harumi is purposefully manipulating Lloyd, but eventually her love for both of them becomes real. Once ghosts start Doing Shit around town, Lloyd starts Vigilante-ing to protect Harumia and Akita, following a school-wide possession. The Quiet One is trying to kidnap him for his powers, and is the one summoning said ghosts. Red is trying to kill them both - Harumi, bc she's actively trying to end the world, and Lloyd simply bc he has the potential to (an 'eliminate the threat' situation) - to protect Harumi and Lloyd. So: Harumi knows Conduit is Lloyd, doesn't know Red is Akita. Akita doesn't know either identity. Lloyd also doesn't know either identity. It's like Miraculous but with murder and body horror

What’s Harumi’s whole… deal? < hoooo boy. so... hm. okay. Gonna do this rlly fast and simplistically so if you want some deeper info send me more asks. So: at 6, she contracts Veil Sickness (Veil-based disease that affects liminal ppl) and dies. Her parents find the Preeminent's cult and give up their own lives to resurrect her - this has not been replicated. This is the story she is told when she wakes up in a pool of blood. In reality, her and her parents were targeted as part of the cult's experiments with resurrection. She is told she is evil bc to bring her back, her parents' souls have been broken beyond repair, and cannot move on to the afterlife. They're trapped in eternal agony, tied to their decaying bodies. fun. Eventually, it comes to light that Harumi has developed the ability to shapeshift into anything she kills and eats the corpse of. She is manipulated into using her unique powerset to aid the Preeminent's escape from the Veil. She's manipulating Lloyd bc the Conduit is the only one who can power the Realm Crystal, which is the only thing that can bring the Preeminent through. She thinks the Preeminent will fix her parents if she does this. Obviously she won't, but. y'know. In the AU proper, Harumi is: Harumi the best friend, Quiet One, Jade the stray cat, Brad the eventual boyfriend (oof), and mysterious shooter. She's very very fun to me personally I love her so much and istg she gets a redemption arc. the entire fic is her redemption arc even if it doesn't look it I SWEAR

I love your asks sm anon and I would love a little sign off. Ty for having such beautiful deep asks for me <3

[mossterunderthebed]

Jujutsu Kaisen Observation # 18358503893742653

okay so. hm. how to say without being immediately pelted to death by hammers?

i was a little... surprised? at the scene where gojo was sealed. and like the whole plan and exposition and everything leading up to it, cause like. stsg are made out to be such an unquestionable Thing that i had almost expected more from the source material- and there was Plenty to work with if you're going the shipping rout dont get me wrong- but... i just. maybe it just feels like a dissatisfying sort of portrayal almost?

because it feels in some ways like such an acknowledgement that people just. dont Get life-changing relationships outside of romance anymore.

i think they were soulmates. i think they were friends. i think they changed each other's lives and were unfathomably, unspeakably precious to each other. i think when they broke they shattered and cracked and the splinters of that ache are still lodged in the soft spaces between their bones. i think it still affects them, because that's the kind of thing you dont just get over.

i dont think it was sexual. i dont think they had a romantic relationship. like, i just... it was really strange, because while this big Proof of Romance thing was sort of playing out on screen the only thing i could think was that this was how i felt when i lost one of my friends because i just Didnt know how to be there for them when they needed support.

in the end we, who thought we would be friends for the rest of our lives, ended up never really seeing each other again because we just. didnt have what each other needed anymore. and i still hope they're happy, and want them to be well. and i still regret how things went down.

but i couldn't have done any different because what i did was all i knew HOW to do. i WAS offering support it just wasn't the kind of support they knew how to do anything with.

and i just think that for gojo, that's what suguru is, though likely amplified and worsened due to their respective family situations and upbringings. he's 'i wish' and 'what if' and 'im sorry' and 'i wanted to be there' and 'did i ever know you at all' and 'why did things happen that way, why didnt i know better- HOW could i have known better- i wish i couldve helped you, i wish i couldve saved you, i miss you, i love you, im sorry im sorry im sorry'

i dunno. everyone has different interpretations and viewpoints. i just think they're so 'friends so close theyre practically siblings' coded. they dont need to have been dating to have been the focus of each others lives and to know each other inside and out.

*sighs* whatever. maybe im just blabbing into a void. it just was surprising that after all that hype the vibe i got from them the most truly was just a pair of high school friends that got messed up somewhere along the way and couldnt stick together because their edges rammed right into each other's sore spots.

nobody's fault- tho u could def argue it was suguru's fault if ur looking at it from the mass murderer and genocidal maniac angle tho jjk does magnify things a lot to a gruesome degree bc thats kind of the whole Point, AND to tell the truth i dont focus on a lot bc i mainly think of suguru as the version he was in his high school years because to me thats the one thats most fun to play around with- its just what happened.

and that's not even touching on what all getou did and HOW the whole thing broke apart in the first place or the trauma from whence the cracks started to form and etc etc etc. sometimes stuff happens and people DO split apart and theres nothing you can do but mourn.

im sure for gojo the mourning was a heavy burden, yeah.

but also, if my best friend that i killed myself had suddenly appeared to come back from the dead, i too would blue screen for a whole fudgin minute i mean come on. be serious. like you wouldnt stand there with your mouth hanging open out of sheer stupefaction and disbelief and confusion. fr.

ppl arent supposed to do that.

[sayakxmi]

Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.

For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).

(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)

Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.

Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.

Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.

Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.

Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.

Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.

But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.

Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.

As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.

[five-raccoons-in-a-trenchcoat]

watching supernatural, week 13 (28 IV - 4 V 2025)

im baaaaack

episodes watched: 12x15 - 13x13

woah, almost a full season in a week? it hasnt happened in a while

28 IV 2025:

12x15: "im using that fancy shampoo you keep hidden from me" oh so that's how Sam keeps his hair all fabulous and beautiful // Cas and his flipped FBI badge back at it again! // I wonder how much does Cas know about conspiracy theories? // ugh not Lucifer again, this is getting annoying // Dean being in love with his car //

12x16: Claire is back??? // Dean being protective over Claire is awesome // oh no oh oh uh oh // yay!! Claire is alright

29 IV 2025:

12x17: Eileen will be back, no? // ✨️tragic backstory✨️ // EILEEN WOOOO // Crowley is getting too cocky // "no one cares" slay // well, I didnt like the guy, cant say im glad hes dead, much rather have Dagon dead // DUDE SCREW THE CODE, LIKE SRSLY? Mick youre becoming a likable character, dont change it // well uhm that wasnt that unexpected from my pov but ok. also eh // WHAT WHAT NO FUCK NO WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO MICK JUST WENT THROUGH A HUGE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN A SPAN OF A FEW EPISODES AND WHAT FOR WHAT WHAT NO HELL NAW WHY WHY THEYD KILL HIM NO I SAW THAT COMING TBH BUT NO IM SO MAD OH MYYYYYYY AAAAAAAA i hate this stupid ass sucking fucking dumb idiot show

12x18: what is up with Cas, we didn't get any of him in... 2 episodes? that heaven business sketchy much // Dean dude that was such a bad pick up line // "waking up right now safe and sound" yeah wouldn't be so sure // "how does Sam get his hair so shiny" its the fancy shampoo he hides from Dean // the initials scratched into the table's surface oh

30 IV 2025:

Im starting my spring break!! next week is mostly free so yay!! back to watching

12x19: okay, so we will get some info about Cas this episode, wont we? // Kelly. Kelly no. Kelly dont. oh goodness. // love to see Sam doing his research and stuff as always // CAS // "we're glad youre back" "really?" Dean is very pissed. Cas looks sad // "You, me, and Sam, we're just better together. So now that you're back, let's go, team free will" love this scene // where did the angel go again // I am in pain. Cas why 😭 Cas i know you think youre doing the right thing but. oh my. Cas 😭😭😭 // he didn't kill her. Cas you did the right thing // Lucy crashing out // dude literally just call Sam and Dean and there you will have the answer like oh my goodness Castiel // Dean is even more pissed OH THE WALL PUSH // im sorry but as the show progresses i seem to notice more and more and EVEN MORE intense staring between Dean and Cas and its so amazing // Kelly drove away. ive seen ppl talk about this scene and how Dean just threw Cas the keys even tho he was mad and how in here they probably think its Castiel who was driving :c // why is Cas constantly getting his ass handed to him, like the dude is literally a soldier, that's getting annoying // what. is going on // oh hell nawwww. its bad its bad //

12x20: this episode was fucking painful, man. like ughhh i hate this kind of episodes (as much as I love them as well bc of, yk, emotions, but id much rather have angst with characters who have plot armour)

12x21: I AM FUCKINV THROWING HANDS, NOT EILEEN 😭 no just no. // I want to murder that British bitch // there was no buzzing and lights and stuff, Crowley must've escaped // uh oh // tbh im still upset about Mick

1 V 2025:

we're nearing the end of the season and I will probably finish it today soooo lets get to it

12x22: if they kill Jody off, I swear- // damn. this episode was a pretty huge one emotionally (dont mind me crying) and so. yeah yeah I dont know, idk what to say, im just. ouch. And Dean only thinking about Sam and the monologue and oh my okay yeah um yeah ouch

12x23: cARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON // "I know how hard it is" no you dont "thats a lie" exactly // ha i knew he was the rat // weird seems to have arrived ? // "big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel" real // where did Cas go??? // "angel killing bullets? awesome" *camera cut to Cas* // NO CASTIEL NOOOO // oh fuck oh noooo no no :cc they just. lost basically everyone. ou //

I remember thinking "wow i really enjoy supernatural, good thing i still have like 10 seasons left" and now. I have 3 seasons to go. I dont think im ready 😭 lets go on to season 13 tho. Im craving more

13x01: starting off with "Nothing else matters" by Metallica and im in love, pushing me to finally learn to play it on my guitar i see // wait will we get Dean's widower arc this season? is that it? // Dean unable to say that Cas is dead, im unwell // "I got issues" at least shes honest // is he hearing angel radio? // "my father is Castiel" "I chose him to be my father" I think I might cry // "we lost everything. And now youre gonna bring him back. okay? youre gonna bring back Cas, [...]" Cas is everything to him, im gonna throw up (I know he started saying others as well but this is like literally the same as with "I love you. I love all of you" while looking at Dean) // Jensen's beautiful acting is once again breaking my heart //

13x02: "Jack, I can take the couch" "no no, its fine" I love this kid // Jack mimicking Dean 😭 // "what would Mr. Rogers do?" ayyy Donatello that's actually smart // Dean, Jack is a kid, you need to chill out // poor Jack :c // oh my goodness, someone give this kid a hug //

13x03: Dean. // Dean highkey what the actual fuck. Dean stop blaming Jack for Castiel's death oh my 😭😭😭 // CAS??? // yea well, like seriously, I mean, Dean's acting so unfair towards Jack. "you deserved to be saved, he doesnt" Dean. I know youre grieving after Cas and everyone else but stop taking it out on the kid pls :/

13x04: they really do need therapy tho and im glad they went there lmao even if for the job // Castielllll // "I know what you hate, I know who you love, [...] theres nothing left for you there" not. true. // LEAVE HIM ALONEEE // CAS IS BACKKKK

13x05: "im fine" yeah yeah sure mhmmmm yeah // "he lobotomized them" "fun" my sister always is like "no??? not fun???" when I reply to something like that. rude. I wonder if I picked that up from Dean tho? hm could be // Dean fucking dont. Dean no. oh my goodness // uh oh // *suicide went wrong cause Death says im important* // "you okay?" "no" congratulations on finally admitting it Dean // they actually aced it with the song at the end, they fucking aced it // THEYRE BACK TOGETHER im gonna throw up //

13x06: Dean suddenly all happy and cheered up cause his angel came back from the dead and he gets to be all nerdy about cowboys // sure sure, making him wear it to blend in mhmm // "I made you watch it" // no dude Jack, stop // Jack noo :cc

2 V 2025:

13x07: alternative world Kevin // lmao dude you kinda lost most of your grace // Cas pls dont agree to work with Lucifer without talking with Sam and Dean pls // "did it ever occur to you that I might be one of the good guys" nope. // mmmmm not fun not nice

3 V 2025:

13x09: Jack. what are you doing. // uh oh visions // "We want Jack" "cocaine boy?" LMAOOOO // "You, Castiel, youre my family" Jack i love you // dude really got a hang of his powers // Dean. chill dude. // "dont worry. we'll be fine" "We're screwed!" yeah well // supernatural x jurassic park crossover?

13x10: will we be seeing supernatural girls team this episode?? pls? // I love you Claire // "wayward sisters" YES // girl chill out a bit tho, Jody has every right to be worried // girls love to bond over scars and traumatic experiences <3 (I do as well) // well they're not as dead as you say // om nom nom nom lizard // I miss Charlie extra much this episode 😭😭 // I think yall gonna become a dinner // OH FUCK NO // aw FUUUUUCK // Claire's character development and the ending of the episode ah i love it

4 V 2025:

13x11: Sam? whats wrong // the lie about being Donna's family is gonna backfire, isnt it // the creepy guy from the gas station is even creepier, watching ppl get mutilated, not only watching, but actively contributing, ew // uh oh creepy guy is actually a vamp guy // crazy shit, ngl // "I was a vampire" happens to the best of us, buddy // I mean, Sam is kinda right but at the same time, please let everyone be delusional that life might be better than it is. I mean, sometimes it's really the only way to push through i think. And it's not even necessarily being delusional, sometimes it's just having hope. And I know in this show it won't work but.

13x12: I love sarcastic Castiel so much 😭 // uh oh Dean got hexed // uh oh bad // Sam and Rowena bonding over Lucifer trauma // yoooo good job Castiel // Rowena?

13x13: uh oh Cas // I highkey love Donatello 😭 // also Cas is so short 😭 // aw Lucy's getting emotional :c (sarcastic) // oh fuck no // GABRIEL?????

all that said, I hate this stupid dumb ass show (affectionate)

[jessiemeows]

ive decided i want amaya to have a cat familiar named Willow (she takes after my own cat whose name is Willow lmao) i found a mod that can stack a cat familiar and scratch, so my cat dreams are coming true for Amaya. I wish there was a mod where u can change the colors of the cat bc they would be black and white :( Anyways i found a way to make it canon in Lost and Found

*spoiler for the next 3 chapters in the undercut lol plus baby kitty photos so if you want to see them just skip over the big block of text and see my Willow :3*

But after Amaya kills Alfira, the group takes a day off after Wyll ends up yelling/threatening her about it, but somehow Gale calmed him down (i know Wyll is a precious bean, but i just don't think he would really be down for murder and accept it so easily??? you know??? obviously, I do think Wyll does apologize bc he likes Maya, but I digress lol.)

Anywho, Amaya takes off to calm herself down by the river (lol), near a waterfall, and sits on the rocks by it, crying and stuff, but then she hears a little meow, well more like a raspy LOUD meows. Amaya decides to investigate, and finds a young cat by a tree in a bush, it probably just turned about a year old. The cat fell in love with Amaya almost immediately, purring against her leg, giving her love bites as she petted the kitty and eventually climbed up her pants to perch on her shoulder. The kitty was fairly skinny, so she decided to bring it back to camp and take care of her. :33 After that, the kitty becomes her little sidekick, she names it Willow bc she found it by a Willow tree. When she finds Scratch, which would not happen for several more days, and then the owlbear, (named Mr. Bite), which is even more several days, they all become besties lol

i met my kitty not by a willow tree, i actually bought her at my local shelter for 100 bucks. They say she wasnt a kitten, but to this day i still think she was a kitten (she was realllllllly small, i mean she still is tiny but idk she was definitely 8 month old kitten-sized). they said she just turned a year old in july 2021, and i bought her in August 2021. How she reacted when i met her is similar tho. all i told the shelter ppl was i wanted a cat today, and then they brought me into a room with her and we played for a bit, she rubbed against me every ten seconds, she kept taking bites out of my hand (not hard) while purring and then she perched on my shoulders after climbing up my body lmfaooooo. i named her willow bc i looked up "cute, witchy cat names" and thought it was cute LMFAOOOO. she also has a loud ass raspy meow lol

This is Willow when i first got her Vs.

The little gremlin rn, mad at me bc i poked her awake to take this photo lmao

[showerthoughtsofagoldengoose]

eridan analysis i wrote at work today

Something thats been on my mind lately is Eridan’s relationship to genocide. 

Something I find over looked is that Eridan wants to commit genocide sure but vriska is obsessed with the apocalypse, terezi kills ppl bc she likes roleplaying as a lawyer, and karkat and EVEN TAVROS have aspirations to get murder related careers. Suffice to say, all of the beta trolls want to do something murdery. This being said, yes, genocide is still more extreme but despite him planning to do it (only holding off because of Feferi) we can see he doesn’t want to kill ALL land dwellers (explicitly shown to seek approval from them and is even cordial towards kanaya and karkat, the latter whom he holds in a shockingly high regard) and even has some hesitations towards death.

It mentions in the comic that he didn’t really appreciate Vriska killing the other trolls in their FLARP games (which was really just their way of doing their work and getting to hang out and have fun during it) and we see that a major defining aspect of his character is an immense fear of death.

The quadrant bullshit is his way of trying to avoid getting culled, he refuses to go into the ocean likely due to his fear of feferi’s lusus, he recognizes he will outlive all of his friends, his choice to join Jack Noir is itself an act of self preservation, he kills the angels and feferi out of self defense and his entire personality and need to express superiority over others and live up to his name is, itself (depending on how you look at it) a self defense mechanism.

I think another thing worth noting about the genocide stuff is that he literally is in a role where he is trying to prevent the death of every living thing, yet his aspirations are to kill all trolls who live on land.

He defends these aspirations when they’re called into question, and is described to have some in depth plans on how he would bring these aspirations to life- which as I said he does not make a reality because of Feferi. Worth noting as well is that he never explains WHY he wants to commit genocide. He has just been told he needs to vehemently hate land dwellers in order to be taken seriously imo.

The doomsday devices he asks for from Vriska always end up breaking. Feferi is his excuse not to kill everyone and I think even if they did break up presgrub, he would still hold off on it for her sake and then let’s say she died, right? Would he hold off on it then? Depends on his arc in that scenario tbh but I’d say it’d take more to get him to do it than to not.

One reading I loathe for him is that his act of destroying the matriorb was a calculated effort. The reading I heard went like this: he learns that the matriorb will allow for the continuation of the species and knows right away that this is his chance to make his dreams of genocide a reality.

This makes no sense. Firstly, that would mean no more seadwelling trolls, and if he truly is a racist cunt, he would want those guys still alive. Secondly, at the introduction of the matriorb he actually seems hopeful, and Eridan is not the kind of manipulative person to try and orchestrate harm under false pretenses of hopefulness. No, he would orchestrate harm under no pretenses but an open, overt, honest display of hopeless bitterness and rage. He’s also impulsive as FUCK and always acting on his emotions as much as he might want you to think otherwise.

Take for example how he takes it personally that nobody visits him on his terrifying planet. His emotions overrule his ability to make sense of things. He thinks nobody wants to help and he doesn’t care that it’s because his planet is dangerous; he cares because people are avoiding him when he desperately needs help.

This is not a boy who sees the hope for his species, after convincing himself his title means he understands hope, and decides to kill everyone. No. 

 First lets examine his dialogue with Kanaya concerning the matriorb:

He’s like. Weirdly innocent. Like he’s a fucked up kid, but here we actually see him in a state of hopefulness. Kanaya helped him find a new purpose he actually enjoys- being a wizard- and is so jolly here he actually doesn’t even mind her insulting him, like he’s actually being gracious to her. He then tells her he’s taken the concept of hope upon himself as something he can assist with as he thinks he can embody it. His talksprite here might look angry but that’s his demeanor, he tries to be all tough but he isn’t. I mean come on he’s the one who said the famous “its hard and no one understands” line, which is a massive moment of vulnerability for him. Or look at his dialogue with Terezi, when he calls himself pathetic right in front of her. If that isn’t vulnerable I don’t know what is.

Anyway back to my topic about the matriorb, no. Eridan’s act of destroying the matriorb was not calculated, it is, like much of his choices, an impulsive explosion of emotions and hopelessness. He was breaking down and took it out on the hope for his entire species, and then killed Kanaya who he knew was planning to kill him- leaving her alive was not an option. It’s important to note that he LEFT SOLLUX ALIVE (though he blinded him) but after Feferi tries killing him, he snaps.

Speaking of blinding sollux… why does my stupid shipper brain draw parallels to vrisrezi here…

Anyway one more intrusive shipper thought. Roxy has the matriorb, Eridan destroyed it, and Eridan might be Roxy’s dream boy. I mean he’s a wizard and like her crush, Dirk, also a prince…. And they have matching scarves… and she’s a silly girl with pink color themeing…. And she uses guns just like him…. Like. Come on. Also theres something so complementary about a nihilist and a void player… obviously for this ship to work he'd be aged up lol

Part of why I love his character so much is this delicate interplay between his haughty and abrasive personality, his selfishness and his shockingly vulnerable core. It is worth noting he is not like Karkat, who despite acting in a similar manner out of the need to, and similarly holding self preservation instincts, has a surprisingly gentle heart. Eridan does not. 

His relationships to others are purely transactional. Let’s take for example his relationship to Kanaya. Eridan sees Kanaya as a useful auspice, as someone who is willing to listen to him, and later as the provider of his wand. He seems to recognize she doesn’t like him, but thinks he needs her to be there for him anyway. With Karkat and Feferi, these are two people who view him as his friend, so he’s nice to them in return, or at least as nice as a troll, especially of his social standing, can be. 

Anyway unrelated thought i want to point out. Eridan is a prince of hope. He destroys belief or destroys THROUGH belief, and doc Scratch alludes to him as a boy on the brink of nihilism when speaking to rose just prior to Seer: Descend. He isn’t someone who I would consider as truly believing in anything. Sure he talks all about hemospectrum but he isn’t nearly as obsessed with it as Equius, Vriska or even Feferi.

 He never gives much of a reason why he believes in it besides the objective fact that being higher on it actually does make you better than others. Hemospectrum isn’t a social construct, but a matter of true and genuine superiority. Eridan is all about objective reality, see his refusal to believe in magic but rather science. Again to call back to Doc Scratch, prior to Seer: Descend, Doc Scratch calls the existence of magic into question with Rose. Magic could be seen as a weak explanation for the unexplainable, as there is always something behind the curtain. Eridan also dismisses Gamzee when the idea of miracles is brought up. He insistently doesn’t believe in these things. 

(Now, a common misconception about princes is they don't have their aspect- but not believing in anything so insistently is still belief, like believing in science and not magic. He has his aspect and suffers from it and is just stupid.)

Essentially, he has no faith. He’s a violently pessimistic person who lives constantly in fear. “I need to fill my quadrants to live” “I need to act a specific way to be taken seriously” “i am literally killing people’s parental figures for the sake of our species’s entire survival” and so on. 

The very nature of his existence almost justifies Eridan’s lack of ability to believe. Eridan’s life, and the world he lives in, just SUCK! To top it off he was only 13 years old when he was going through this. Of course his nihilism gets worse when his own friends abandon him to be alone in his terrible and dangerous planet because they’re too scared to help him. He doesn’t go to theirs outside of dueling sollux because hes expecting them to help him as a way of showing they care. They don’t help him, and he gets the impression that they don’t care.

Adding to this is their discomfort with his advances. He hits on everyone in some desperate attempt to find support of any kind, and this just bugs people. He cannot express himself properly and inevitably scares people off and this is actually pitiable when you realize he actually has a sense of fucking boundaries (unlike Cronus) and knows when to back off. He doesn’t continue flirting with Feferi after their break up and straight up says they can stay friends when the join Jack Noir, for example.

I know people cite Equius saying Eridan’s advances made him uncomfortable as evidence for Eridan being a rapey fuck, but 1. Equius also says he tries not to interact with Eridan due to the landweller/seadweller animosty thing and 2. What the fuck doesn’t make Equius uncomfortable. Bitch sweats at every other word anyone says. As for Nepeta calling him creepy… i mean he is lol. Jade also thinks he’s a creep because I mean yeah have you seen him?! He’s off. Sure he’s not off in a Cronus kind of way (Cronus is his own can of worms) but he’s still off… his grandiose persona and interest in disturbing shit like genocide and classism are the the things he uses to lift himself up, and these things ironically are exactly what push people away.

Now you could say ok but Equius is even more offputting than Eridan. Like he is actually racist on top of being classist, is an even bigger perv than Eridan is, and is just kind of gross… like Eridan doesn’t even feel genuine attraction to some of the people he hits on and isn’t as openly sexual like Equius. Like he never really mentions pailing in the comic and seems to only be interested in romance if anything. With Feferi and Sollux we see a genuine interest from him however so he isn’t incapable of feeling romantic love/hate. So why does she call Eridan creepy and not Equius? For one thing I think its worth noting that Equius genuinely cares for others (namely Nepeta) while Eridan is more one to only look out for himself. Secondly Equius tries to protect Nepeta while Eridan might seem more like a threat- who would blame her for seeing him this way? See my entire essay. Eridan is not a likeable or good person, but all at once he is a deeply traumatized little boy.

Now the question is: does he deserve sympathy?

I would say he does. I mean throughout my essay I’ve made it pretty clear that he has a lot of vulnerabilities and trauma. Writing him off as not deserving sympathy is just, needlessly cruel in my opinion. He’s genuinely suffering and has been for his whole life.

Why the fuck did I just tear up.

[thecatspasta]

I'll bite, I'm needing a new anime to binge and berserk has been one I've heard the name of a lot over the years, so an infodump on it will be fun /gen

*NECK TWIST*

Kicks legs ok so the basics is like. Dark fantasy horror kinda thing set in 1500s europe (smth like that) where a guy called Guts goes around beating the shit out of bad ppl and then gets found family situation with the yoda elf, his ex, a religious sadist, her brother, a child witch and this random kid they picked off the streets and he does this all while god personally wants to spite him EXCEPT thats the most basic explanation I can give BC DEAR FUCKING LORD IS THIS THING COMPLEX

Under the cut is the infodump with spoilers up to the eclipse cuz I dont wanna spoil that

Major CSA tw, also self harm btw

Ok my very very shitty explanation was of arcs 3-5 we are talking arcs 1-2 cuz those are what I like most (literally just arc 2 ily golden age)

SO black swordsman arc is where we start opening page is monster fucking/srs. Everyone agrees its just to prepare you for what comes next LMFAO anyways guts kills the other guy (they were a demon) and then travels to a tavern where we meet puck (yoda elf) whos imprisoned cuz hes an elf. Guts kills some guys cuz hell yea and shows he is EXTREMELY touch averse when puck tries to heal him

Smth smth he beats the shit out of a snake dude, goes to sleep and gets harassed by an evil fetus cuz of smth called the brand of sacrifice, then goes to the mayor of the town and beats the shit out of that guy too. Except the mayor is nonhuman and all of the commotion summoned the 5 Godhands who are basically gods. And the mayor is given a choice, sacrifice his daughter and become fully nonhuman and powerful or die and join the rest of the souls in hell

The godhands pretty much ignore guts on the floor except for Femto whos like 'Hiii pookie' and guts is just yelling 'KYS' while writhing in pain bc of his brand of sacrifice (starts hurting around demons, but with godhands it causes sm pain he can genuinely die from it). Femtos just kicking his legs and giggling

ANYWAYS. Smth smth the mayor chooses not to sacrifice his daughter and gets sent to hell and the godhands fuck off. WOO black swordsman arc end now we get guts backstory trauma YAY

SO basically he was doomed from his start cuz when he was born his mom immediately killed herself and he was adopted by someone called Shizu who was like. In the army in some way? So hes been apart of that since he could lift a sword pretty much. Anyways she died when he was 3 and he was then taken in by gambino who I hate so very much. When he was 6 he started military training where he was abused by gambino for being a 'curse that killed shizu' and was sent into battle at age 9

And here is the CSA tw so um. Gambino sucks and sold him to this random ass man called donnovan who rapes this 9yo. Fuck both of them, but the day after they go into battle again and guts kills donnovan the very next day cuz fuck yes. That same battle Gambino loses his leg and has to retire. Guts is still attached to Gambino cuz like. Hes sorta a paternal figure to him and stuff but gambino could nawt give less of a shit abt Guts

One day he gets drunk and tries to murder guts but guts gets him first after discovering that donnovan wasnt lying and Gambino did indeed sell him!! Anyways guts kills him first, accidentally sets the camp on fire and gets shot trying to escape. But its ok he lives yay joy!!

2yrs later Guts is taking money to kill ppl cuz theres a war and one time when he was wandering after a successful battle he gets jumped by 3 guys who were traveling in a group of six (named casca, griffith, judeau, corkus and 2 others), he kills one and heavily wounds the other before the 3rd (corkus) runs off. Griffith, the leader of the group sends Casca to deal with Guts and then steps in himself right before guts kills Casca. Guts collapses from exhaustion and Griffith picks him up and takes him back to the camp

NOTE. EVERYONE IS 15. I did not realize this on first read thru, but they are all the same age

Anyways guts wakes up in the camp of the Band of Hawks, which is a mercenary group run by griffith. Casca hates him and doesnt understand why griffith took him back. Guts is just like 'Ok and' and then griffith is like 'Hey come with me pls :]'. They go to a hill and Griffith immediately says 'I want you guts' and guts calls him gay in response. /Srs its great. They then have a sword fight, if guts wins he can go and never think abt this again, if griffith wins guts has to join the band of hawk

Griffith gets the upper hand before Guts bites his fucking sword and sends them both rolling down a hill. It ends with Griffith dislocating Guts shoulder the fucking freak and now. Guts has to stay with the band of hawk. After this theyre just chilling, griff decides to start a water fight with guts where they just hurl buckets of water at eachother and it ends with griff having a bucket on his head. But its also where Guts notices this fun lil egg shaped necklace griffith has. And griffs like OH YEA this is a behelit Ive had it for ages. Basically brings good fortune :]. And guts is like THAT THING IS CREEPY AS FUCK I SWEAR ITS ALIVE

ANOTHER TIMESKIP theyre 17 now and doing a lot of battles. Casca still has beef with guts but its worse cuz Griffith keeps letting Guts do wtv tf he wants and Cascas just like ??? TAHTS NOT HOW IT WORKS??? They get hired by the king of the midlands (the main ruling force) and Griff gets a bunch of ppl simping for him. Its super funny cuz everytime someones like omg hes so hot would griffs just like :] and Im like Im so sry but that is a gay man

Anyways a bunch of ppl fucking hate griffith cuz the princess, charlotte, has a crush on him. Also he just gets a lot of praise and credit so the queen and this duke are like yea fuck this bitch and tries to kill him twice!! 1st with a poisoned arrow, 2nd with a poisoned drink. The 1st was stopped bc that lil behelit thing prevented griffith from being pierced by the arrow and the 2nd he was just very on edge so just. Faked being poisoned (iirc i havent reread in a bit)

Griffs like. Ah! Fuck! He then gets guts, shows him porn and tells him to kill the duke. Guts is like oh yea sure and does. But also kills the dukes son cuz he didnt see that the kid was there. Thats... one portion of the royal family gone. After that griffith sets fire to the queen and everyone she was working with with the help of griffith. Joy!!! The timeline may be off but thats the jist of it

CSA TW again. Anyways fun stuff happens and everyones off to battle again. Except shit goes wrong and Casca and Guts get thrown off a cliff. They find a cave to hide out in and just kinda have a bonding moment where guts is like 'Oh my god why the fuck are you on your period' and casca is like OK FUCK YOU also do you want my trauma :] and guts is like ya sure. So basically when casca was like 9-12 I cant remember she got sold off to just be someones slave and stuff but they stopped on the road for a bit and try to rape her but griffith comes in and kills the ppl before they can. Cascas like OMG!!! This is so banger can I join you and griffs like ya sure. Guts is like ah cool and then Cascas like hey did you know griffiths traumatized and guts is like. WHAT. So turns out. A lil while into knowing eachother and growing the band of hawks they come across this baron who has a bunch of child sex slaves and theyre made to work for him. Nobody likes this but they need the money. They lose a few ppl in the fight and this sorta sets griff off cuz hes like fuck were progressing too slowly. So. Child prostitution! That is implied to have happened more than once!! Casca finds him one time right before he gets raped and then confronts him the next day. Hes like 'Yea no this was fine and I needed to do it' and cascas like NO THE FUCK ITS NOT. Other things abt this scene is he FULLY ASKS HER IF SHE THINKS HES DIRTY AND THEN SELFHARMS SO BADLY. That scene fucks me up so bad man

Anyways guts is like. Holy shit. And then Cascas like 'Oh yea our next battle is against griffs rapist so be careful with him' and Guts is like :thumbs up:. So they go get this guy they win, but the baron recognizes griff and is like 'Hey nobody kill that guy I want him back' (griffith is 17 btw). This fails and griffith murders him bc fuck yes

After they head back guts overhears a convo between griffith and charlotte abt the fact that griffith Does Not Give A Shit Abt Anyone In The Band Of Hawks. Which is true for everyone EXCEPT guts. Im rly skipping over how gay these 2 are but like. Guts is my aroace king and griffith is. Hopelessly in love with him its kinda insane. Like holyyyy shit. This causes guts to go 'Hey I needa go off so I can prove that Im someone griffith cares abt' and then he does

Griffith. Does not take this well. He first tries to fight guts to get him to stay similar to their first meeting, but loses. So obviously he goes to find charlotte, fucks her while thinking abt Guts and immediately self harms after bc he will only have sex with ppl when he wants to punish himself and feel in control. Hes fascinating. Anyways her dad finds out and imprisons him where hes tortured for a year. Wow. Funtimes

Eventually Guts comes back to the band of hawk to find griffith gone and Casca in charge. Cascas like ok heres everything thats happened also were working with Charlotte to get griffith back. Guts helps and they go get him! Griffith is doing absolute dogshit!! Wow!! He doesnt even have the behelit anymore cuz that got taken off him. His torture was insane he cant speak and he had his tendons cut so he can barely move. Guts and the gang manage to get him out YAY and then they head back, fight a monkey and then Griffith overhears casca telling guts its not good for him to stay with the band of hawk and guts is like yeaaa I kinda wanna go too. So he manages to ignore the torture done to him, and run off to a river with a spear in it to try kill himself. He almost succeeds but hes too weak and instead finds the behelit again. And then the band of hawk catches up to him right as the eclipse starts

And the eclipse is where Everything Goes To Shit but you needa experience it for yourself

BUT YA THATS BERSERKS FIRST 2 ARCS VERY VERY SUMMARIZED SKIPPING OVER A LOT OF STUFF AND POSSIBLY MISREMEMBERED. JOY. I LOVE IT VERY MUCH

[roboj0e]

I watched the begins≠youth show a couple days ago. I was too busy to talk about it but now I have down time and kind wanna go over some stuff. (I pirated it for the boycott obviously and bc the platform Hybe released it on is ass backwards and weird)

I was kinda concerned that I wouldn't get emotionally invested with the story without BTS there but I really liked it so far. It hits the emotional beats really well. The actors are really good and do a good job bringing their own individuality into their performance while also emulating some mannerism of their respective members character. Enough that I'm reminded of BTS but not too much that makes it feel weird or uncanny.

They changed some things but not too much so far. I think the way the BTUniverse was presented made it much easier to adapt it into a series. But also made it so some characters are just too devoid of their respective members personality. Such as Dogeon. He doesn't feel like Namjoon to me and his actor doesnt resemble him at all I feel like the other actors even just slightly resemble the members but not him and I really don't like it. But What we know of all their characters is only their adult selves after what happens in high school tho so I forgive it but he's the only one I had trouble really vibing with bc of that.

I don't know if theyre gonna include the supernatural elements into the show it seems like it might be a crime drama murder mystery where they deal with extenuating circumstances of their daily lives while investigating the past and how they may be connected with each other. Their was a lot more emphasis placed on yoongi mothers death and what may have lead to it than in the original BTU.

I like the direction but I would have loved the supernatural elements more than just another murder mystery HS drama.

Jins character (hwan) really pissed me off at first but it was intentional ofc. The actor does a good job. His character is quiet and contemplative but cute when he wants to be. Loved the moments between his character and Namjoons (Dogeon) I'ma namjonist at heart and BTU was giving namjin hard ASF.

The actor for hobis character (hosu) is a master at emulating his mannerisms and even the inflection in his voice and his dialect. It was amazing how I immediately knew who he was while I kinda struggled for the other characters until I realized they still had the same last names as the BTS members 💀. Hes cute and acts as a mediator for the group like jhope sometimes does irl. The actor does a good job of balancing hobis sunny personality and his quiet suffering with his trauma and disorder. I think his narcolepsy might still be munchausen's disorder like in the og.

The actor for taehyungs character (jooan) really matched his carefree and playful nature of both his character and taehyung. His smile and facial expressions really remind me of taehyung. He reminds me of how tae portrayed his character in hwarang. They took away his sister so idk if tae(jooan) killing his dad is gonna be something that happens since his sister's abuse was the motivator for it. Again I think it's bc they may have taken away the supernatural time travel elements.

I was worried about yoongis character (cein). I was really hoping they didn't portray him as one dimensional. Just angsty sleepy and quiet. The same way some army's portray yoongi in fanfics sometimes. But I like that they included how cute loud and mischievous he can be with bursts of energy. How reliable and loyal he is. How he cares for ppl with actions instead of words. I think Cein's personality resembled yoongis the most out of any other character and their respective member. The one thing I ABSOLUTELY hated was the implication that yoongi or his character would be uncomfortable with queerness even as a joke. Mr tongue technology himself?? I don't think so. They can miss me with that bullshit.

Haru being a unisex name just like Jimin is so cute. I like Jimins character his actor is really good and nailing the more serious scenes. His story along with yoongis(Cein) was the most compelling to me so far. I like how his trauma is portrayed and even the stigma around it. I like how they put him in charge of the decorations and cake for Cein's birthday like Jimin used to do irl before the company sorta took that over. I don't remember Jimin(haru) having an older brother but fuck him and his mom and dad.

Like I said before Joons character (Dogeon) bothered me the most. He's poor and sad and that's really all there is to him rn and it kinda sucks. The actor doesn't remind me of namjoon at all. His performance is good but the writing for the character is just a bit weak. They also make him more law abiding than he was in the BTU. He acts as a voice of reason to tehyungs (jooan) mischief but I don't really remember him being like that. But again the BTU didn't explore their highschool days THAT much.

Jungkook character (jeha) is adorable. the actor is a minor so I hope ppl take that into account when talking about him and his character. His home life isn't as bad as it was portrayed in the BTU but I think the abuse he faces will obviously escalate. I like the dimension they added to his character. I'm ready to see where this goes for him.

I screamed when I saw Jung sungil as jins(hwan) dad. Very good choice. I loved him in the glory but I'm so prepared to see him as a villain. Also the actors from beyond evil playing jungkooks(jeha) older brother.

Very interested to see where this trail goes with yoongis(Cein's) mom. If Hwans dad did actually SA her and what lead to her death. I was surprised they included that detail. I also have a feeling that Hwan's dads weied issue with Hwan having friends may have something to do with Cein's mom.

There also seems to be a culminating revelation of how the boys were involved in Cein's mom death. They kept showing flashbacks of each boy when some building exploded. I thought it was yoongis suicide in BTU but then they showed both where Cein was during the explosion so it was some other fire and not the fire that namjoon dies in (didn't relaize how many fire related deaths was in the BTU) bc I believe that takes place later when they're older and if they changed that fire to fit the lack of super natural elements then it still wouldn't fit bc jooan doesn't know who Cein is at the time of the explosion. So it must be the fire yoongis mom dies in if not then idk.

Honestly just really looking forward to seeing where this all leads especially if they've excluded the time traveling.

The show also gave me this weird sense of sad nostalgia for hyyh Bangtan. I cried a little seeing them interacted with such simplicity especially Cein's bday scenes bc I was just heavily reminded of BTS and really miss them.