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barry-j-blupjeans · 4 years ago

Note

maybe 3 or 11 + blupjeans for the kissing prompts? :o

11. when one stops the kiss to whisper “I’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more

(Kissing prompts here :D!)

this got,,, A LITTLE out of hand sjflsdfj. here is OVER 2k of blupjeans for ur reading pleasure (probably to be posted on ao3 later)

Barry’s got one arm covering Lup as he’s half leaning over her, and the other up in the air to create a shield around them (god, he was so glad that Lucretia had talked him into learning abjuration magic a few cycles ago). It wasn’t the strongest, but it held up as the mineshaft they were in caved in around them. By the time the ground stopped shaking, and the rocks stopped falling, the bubble he had created was completely covered from top to bottom. There wasn’t a shred of light anywhere.

“Fuck,” Lup said, which aptly described how Barry was feeling. “Quick thinking, Bar, good job.”

She snapped her fingers and a few balls of light lit up the bubble, floating aimlessly around them.

He lowered his wand, focusing on the spell well enough for it to stay steady, and turned his attention to Lup. She wasn’t injured, besides some scrapes on her arms from when Barry had shoved her to the ground. He felt a little bad about that, but the tunnel was small and he didn’t want her to move out of range of the bubble.

Lup fished her Stone of Farspeech out of her robes as Barry gave her a tight smile in response. He sat up against the side of the bubble shield as she called back to the ship. Davenport was sending Taako, Magnus, and Merle to come to get them out (which Barry already knew would be a disaster, even if they worked well together). When she hung up, all that was left to do was... wait. There was a light on the top of her Stone to show it was being tracked, and they couldn’t do anything else to make it go faster.

“Sorry for pushing you,” Barry said. Lup shrugged and sat cross-legged across from him.

“No biggie,” she said. “It was either be pushed to the ground or get killed by a rock, so I don’t think I have the right to be mad about it right now. Or the want to, anyhow.”

Waiting was slow going. Barry knew Lup wasn’t a particularly patient person and could tell when she was starting to get antsy. Neither of them were good at sitting still, but Lup’s foot had been tapping for ten straight minutes before she started searching through her pack for things to do.

“Hey, Bar,” she asked, five minutes into that, “Wanna help?”

“Gods, yes,” Barry said, shuffling his way over to her side. “Give me something to do.”

Lup muttered something under her breath that Barry didn’t catch, and probably didn’t want to. She turned the whole bag over and pushed half of it towards him.

“Do... something with that,” she said and started working on her half.

Barry started to organize it because that was probably what Lup had meant. He sorted it by use first- things someone would need if they were going to a mission (waterskin, loose charcoal, which Barry didn’t want to begin questioning), makeup stuff (chapstick, face wipes, three different colors of nail polish, and one eyelash curler), and misc. (four individual playing cards, a note in Taako’s handwriting that just said “fuck you”, a photo of a baby elephant). Then he sorted by size.

When he looked back over to Lup, she had made a wobbly tower out of her half. Barry was startled into a laugh, which caused it all to fall over.

“Barold Bluejeans,” she said, turning on him. “You fucking monster.”

“S- sorry!” Barry gasped, leaning back against the bubble, not sounding sorry at all. “I thought- I thought we were both sorting!”

“I said “do something” not sort!” Lup said. “I cannot believe- oh, fuck, is that my charcoal, I was looking for that.”

Which just made Barry laugh harder. She scowled at him, in good nature, and snatched the charcoal from his piles. She eyed him as she started building her tower again, pausing only when he sniggered to send a light-hearted glare his way.

After a while, he finally got control of his laughter and watched her build a tower. She had two books she was using as the base, followed by a thinning stack of sticky notes, and a half-empty water bottle. After about three minutes, she finished the pile, which had been swaying precariously as she added things, and placed the charcoal on top. She leaned back on her hands and looked at it.

“Hey, Bar,” Lup said, not taking her eyes off the pile.

“Yeah?”

“I’m bored.” She tore her gaze away from it to look at him, lips turned into a cute little frown. “I wanna do somethin’ else.”

“Not a lotta options here, Lup,” Barry said. She frowned, tilting her head at him. His heart stuttered a little. “We can, uh. Talk?”

“About what?” Lup asked. “‘What’s your favorite color?’ I already know yours is denim blue. You’re predictable, babe. I don’t know what to ask that wouldn’t seem like this is a bad first date.”

Barry flushed a little.

“This would be a very bad first date,” Barry said and Lup laughed. She scooted up next to him, careful not to disturb her pile while she moved. After a second, she pressed her arm next to his and leaned onto his shoulder. Barry’s brain short-circuited, almost missing what she said next.

“We’d have to be on at least third date questions,” Lup said thoughtfully. “Like, uhh. What’s your social security number?”

“I don’t remember that!” Barry laughed and Lup buried her head into his shoulder, giggling. “I- I barely even knew it when we were at home, Lup, how do you expect me to remember it after forty-five years.”

“Joking, Barry,” she said, laughing a little still. “I’ll ask a better question, then. Uh. When you were a kid, what did you wanna be when you grew up?”

“Astronaut,” Barry said immediately, which sent Lup into another fit of giggles. She looked up at him, grinning.

"For real?" she asked and when he nodded, she whistled. "Dang, babe, you got your dream."

"I- I guess," Barry said. "It's not like- I mean, I gave up on that dream fairly quick back home. One, because it was pretty unrealistic until the Light came, and two, because it seemed... I don't know, unrealistic. I was a professor, Lup, I didn't- the mission was more of a... midlife crisis decision, if we're being honest."

Lup hummed, dropping her head back down to lean on his shoulder. Barry worried he went too far for a moment.

"I forget that human's live such short lives," Lup said quietly. The mood of the room (bubble) shifted when she said that. It took on a somber tone. "Me and Taako weren't adults until we were a hundred. By that age, you'd be all old and wrinkly."

"Hey," Barry said, nudging her. "I'm old and wrinkly now."

She snorted but shook her head.

"Guess Magnus's "live now, die later" attitude kinda makes sense when you think about it like that," Lup said. "Like, you age so fast. You just kinda have to do what you want when you want so you can actually get it in there, y'know."

"Not really," Barry said. "I mean, there's a lot of time to do things still, but I see where he's coming from. You don't wanna not do something and regret that you never did it."

Lup seemed to think on that for a second. Barry did, too. She was still pressed against his shoulder, close enough that her hair was tickling his neck. He looked away and sighed slightly. If he was being honest, he probably should take his own words to heart. Life, love, never lasts long enough and as soon as you get what you want, it's counting down the seconds until something takes it away. Circumstances, opportunities, death. Something always took it away.

They had an endless amount of time to get it right. But Barry didn't want to be the one to break her heart when they stopped the cycles and he started to age again.

"Barry," Lup said, quiet, but absolutely deafening in the silence of the bubble. "I, uh. I think we need to talk." She sat up, turning herself towards him completely. Barry's heart thundered in his chest.

"I know humans don't live long," she said carefully. "And we don't know when we're gonna get out of these cycles. But I... can't ignore things because of that. I can't just fucking- pretend that I'm not feeling things? Because that's not healthy and also, by the way, it fucking sucks. I'd rather-"

She broke herself off. Barry saw her hands dig into the dirt under them.

"This isn't the best place to say it," she said, looking away. She backed up a bit and knocked her pile over in the process. "Uh, my bad, I just-"

"I don't wanna pretend either," Barry blurted out, before he even thought about what he was saying. "Being trapped in a bubble under a collapsed mineshaft isn't the best place to talk about anything, Lup, but it's you and I don't wanna make you not want to say something. I, uh. I think I get what you're getting at, though."

He steeled himself, taking a deep breath in. Okay, he was doing this. He was doing this. He just had to, uh, collect himself first, and-

"I like you," and Lup beat him to the punch line. Barry blinked at her and she hurried along. "Like, in a romantic way, I mean. Not like- I like the others just fine, but I like you, Bar."

"Oh," Barry said. Lup chuckled nervously, not looking at him.

"Yeah," she said. "Um, like I said, not the best place to talk about it, but-"

"No!" Barry said. "No, Lup, I like you too! Fuck, I- I wasn't expecting you to, uhm- Lup, I like you so much, I didn't wanna make things weird."

"This whole goddamn situation is weird," Lup said, hitting the side of the bubble with her hand.

"No, like, us," Barry said. "Like as a friendship, I didn't wanna make it weird. I'm..." he sighed. "It's complicated for a lot of reasons, Lup, I'm human. I-"

"So it's a no?" Lup said awkwardly.

"No!" Barry said. "No, no, no, it's definitely a yes! I just don't want- I don't wanna fucking... die on you when the cycles stop, Lup. I don't want it to end and I don't want you to have to deal with that."

"That's not up to you," Lup said at once, sounding a tad bit annoyed. "If I wanna date you, that's my choice, and if you die, then it's my emotions I'm going to be dealing with. I don't want you to beef it, obviously, but- it's not up to you to figure out how I'll react then. I wanna do now with you and I wanna do that all the way up until we can't. It's fine if you don't- don't want that, but I-"

She was starting to tear up a bit and he panicked, scooting forward.

"Sorry," he said, because he didn't know what else to say. "I- I wasn't thinking about now, I was focusing on later. I- I don't want to see you upset because of something I've done, if I can help it. I got a little stuck in that.

"I desperately want this to work out," Barry said, holding out his hands. She wiped away a tear and clasped her hands in his. "There's no one I'd rather be with than you, Lup, I promise. But I wanna talk about what all it'll mean, first, if that's alright with you. I wanna make this work."

"Yeah," Lup said thickly. "Of course."

She hesitated for a second, and then wrapped him in a hug. His heart was beating fast as he hugged back, burying his face into her neck. After a moment, she drew back a little, pressing her forehead against his.

"Can I kiss you before we talk, or do you wanna wait 'til after?" she asked. The air momentarily left Barry's lungs. He took a deep, needed, breath in and nodded. When he realized that the nod answered nothing, he said,

"Now's good, if you, uh, if you want."

"Now," Lup said decisively, leaning in.

If you asked Barry, the day could be divided up into two parts: before he kissed Lup, and after. Maybe that was stupid, because they were buried under a pile of dirt and rocks right now, but... Her lips against his were fire and ash and everything wonderful and powerful. The touch was soft, because they were both uncertain, and Barry drew back just far enough to say,

"I'm sorry, are you sure-"

Before she was pressing her lips back up against his, stronger, with more intent. Barry's heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest as she tugged him closer with the arms she had around his neck.

And then he felt like his heart did actually explode when something clanged against the side of the bubble. Barry startled back, hitting the opposite end of the barrier, and looking towards where the sound had come from. Lup scooted back towards him, raising her wand towards it. It hit again and Barry recognized the blade of a shovel, scooping away the dirt.

In a matter of seconds, there was a sizable amount gone and there was Magnus, who grinned upon seeing them. He saw Taako standing against the wall a little further back and Merle on the ground, talking to him.

Lup swore. Barry saw that the tips of her ears were pink when she shoved her want back into her holster.

"We'll get back to this later," she promised. "The kissing and the convo, I promise. Help me put my shit back in my bag."

"Yeah," Barry said, his whole face flushed. "I can do that."

#blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #i swear this is an outlier they wont all be this long sldkjdsf #asks #anon #ise cube writing #also the thing lup muttered under her breath was 'oh i could give u PLENTY of things to do'

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wtfevenismypage · 5 years ago

Text

Words and Numbers

request/summary: Oh ok what about a lil fluff with Spencer (I realise we do a lotta fluff with Spencer but still). I haven’t read anything yet where the reader has a learning difficulty, that would be quite cool. Like, they’re dyslexic or have dyscalculia, but they love to read/do maths and they just can’t so Spencer is there and he reads out questions or passages? Maybe it’s a professor Reid sort of thing, someone is his class is having a really fucking hard time with their work assigned?

Warnings: stressed reader, maybe a curse word or two

Category:fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff

A/N: this is platonic reid x reader where they have a garcia/morgan type friendship. I tried doing a professor reid story, but i couldn’t write it in a way that made sense, so i deleted it all and turned it around!

You loved reading and math more than anything, it was your favorite thing to study in college. However, there was only one problem with reading and math that made it difficult.

You have dyslexia. Whenever you try to read, all of the words and letters slur around, forming sentences that don’t even make a semblance of sense. They float around the page sometimes, making it difficult for you to read it out.

The rest of your team at the BAU knew this fact, but they knew you hated the attention it brought you, so they didn’t talk about it and read everything out so you didn’t have to worry.

On this case though, you were stuck alone with a stack of files, screaming out for you to read them.

“Of course Hotch, the dyslexic girl will take care of files, she’ll sort ‘em out, make sure it all gets done right. Don’t worry about it!”

You mumble to yourself, staring at the first file for what feels like ages before tossing it down. It was frustrating that you couldn’t even read the first word properly.

You loved the stories that were read to you every night as a little girl, you had always wished to write one of your own, but that proved to be an issue later on in life.

“Fuck... Why do you have to torture me like this Hotchner...”

“Torture you like what?”

You turn to see Garcia wearing a concerned expression with Morgan’s arm wrapped around her. You smile sadly as bum-rushes into a hug.

“I’m alright Penelope, I just got the files to sort, but I can’t exactly read properly so I’m just getting really upset for no reason, and I’m just a tiny bit mad that Hotch gave it to me-”

Tears gathered in your eyes, making you chuckle a bit while Garcia stops your rambling.

“Sweetness, take a breath, in fact take five breaths. We can help out okay?”

“No, you guys have your own crap to work on, I’ll be alright.”

Garcia smiles, wrapping you in another hug as you swipe away your tears. You didn’t like getting help from others, you rarely ever accepted help.

“I think Reid is just going over victimology again, trying to see if we missed anything, but he hasn’t found anything in over two hours, so I’ll grab him for you.”

“Okay, thank you Garcia!”

You and Reid have been best friends for quite a while now, teasing each other similar to how Garcia and Morgan teased each other.

A few minutes after the pair walks away, Reid walks in with two coffees. A smile spreads across your face at the sight of coffee.

“Oh you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“Why thank you.”

“I was talking to the coffee.”

He chuckles and sets the light brown coffee in your hands, pulling up a chair and sitting next to you.

“Thank you my dearest genius, You helping me out honestly means a lot to me.”

He simply smiles before pulling a file up.

“Okay, three missing ten year old girls, each have blonde hair and green eyes. each were reported missing a week before they showed up killed. Multiple post-mortem stab wounds, cause of death was overheating, their blood was almost boiling when the bodies were found.”

“Post mortem stabbing is personal, and the unsub clearly has a type, look for children that were taken from a grown man. maybe, biological kids or even grandchildren. Once you find the guardian, bam, there’s a suspect right there.”

“Smartie pants.”

“Um, you’re one to talk. Mr. ‘I have an IQ of 187′.”

You two spend the night laughing at each other and cringing at the crimes in the files. In one of them, the victim was posed in a very crude doggystyle position tied up next to a lake.

“You know, I will never, ever understand what drives someone to kill. No matter how much science-y crap you tell me, no matter how many killers I interview, I will never understand it.”

Reid pats a hand on your shoulder as you grimace at the picture. It was cruel, how could someone kill a woman like that and set her up like that. She was already dead.

“I’m starting to regret accepting your help and starting to enjoy that I’m dyslexic.”

“Yeah, well at least you don’t remember everything you read and see.”

“That is very true my friend.”

The two of you laugh, lightly punching each other.

“For real though, thank you for helping, I wouldn’t be able to finish this without you.”

“It’s no problem Y/N. I get it, and it’s alright to ask for help, so stop acting like you never ever need us, we honestly like to help out.”

You smile knowingly. You still wouldn’t ask for help, but he knew that.

“Well, we still have about twenty more files to get through, so lets pick up the pace!”

The rest of the night goes smoothly, laughs and noises of disgust fill the empty office air, both you and Reid trying to keep the energy light hearted at the topic of murder and kidnapping.

“Hey, you should go home and get some sleep. We still have another day to get this all done, so head home okay?”

You nod, dragging him to his feet aswell.

“Right back at you hot stuff. Get home, get sleep.”

You grab the now-cold coffee and chug it, groaning at the lack of heat before grabbing your stuff and pulling Reid to the elevator.

“See you tomorrow Reid.”

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 4 years ago

Text

I Loved Him... Once - CH 1

Title: I Loved Him... Once

Author: jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Heid (Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid)

Rating: This ones General but eventually as the series goes it will be Explicit

Tags: canon typical violence and gore, eventual smut as the series goes, angst, fluff, pining., its gunna be a slow burn guys.

Summary: A series following the team as they solve crimes and take down the bad guys.

In Part one of this series, we follow the team as they take down a serial killer that has taken a piece of one of their own. And through it all, Spencer and Hotch come to a few conclusions and realizations of their own.

AO3 Link

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! But comments and reblogs are love! <3 Please and thanks!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Spencer:

“What we have done for ourselves alone, dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” - Albert Pike

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fourteen days, fourteen days, fourteen glorious days!”

Spencer barely looked up from the book he was reading, sat at his desk, leaning back in his desk chair as Derek Morgan sashayed across the bullpen and perched himself on the corner smiling down at him.

He opted to ignore the over the top, ray of sunshine, mood Derek was in, and flipped the page of his book. Derek was not giving in, he was not going to be ignored when he was in such a good mood, so he swiftly swooped his hand and stole Spencer's book, eliciting a whine of protest as he sat forward and reached for it. Though he didn't make any more effort than that, he knew very well there was no way he would be able to get the book back from Derek through force.

“Come on, Morgan, give it back.”

Derek laughed, his eyes shining with mirth as he kept playing keep away with Spencer, “You really want it back that bad?”

“Yes, actually, it was just starting to get good!” He made another jolt forward to reach for the book but it was in vain. Spencer’s brain might be fast, but Derek Morgan's reflexes were always faster.

“Really, kid, you're reading…” He turned the book over and eyed the title with a raised brow, “‘The Art of War’. You planning on taking someone down, Reid?” Spencer just eyed him as he closed the book and tucked it under his crossed arms, knowing full well that the genius would remember not only the page number he had been on before Derek closed the book, but the exact word he had read last. “Now, like I said before, we have fourteen, I repeat, fourteen glorious days of vacation starting right now. And you're telling me that your only plans are to sit here at your desk, at work, and continue reading ‘The Art of War’ instead of going out and doing something, anything, other than that?”

“It never hurts to educate yourself, Morgan, and yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you,” he replied, a little short, then tried once more to swipe unsuccessfully for his book, “now give me back my book.”

“Good god, man, live a little, you're killing me.” Derek stood and moved the book even further out of Spencer's reach, so he just huffed and sat back in his chair again. “You don't have any plans? No dates? No trips to exotic lands to meet fine exotic ladies?”

“When have you ever known me to ever have plans? Or dates for that matter. It's not like girls are exactly lining up to date the lanky, boy genius.”

“Oh you're much more than that, pretty boy, you know that.” Morgan perched himself on the side of his desk again.

“Not to mention the fact that seeing this in a bathing suit on a beach full of, more than likely, gorgeous people, is not something that is on anyone's bucket list, I'm positive of that. I'm so white I'd probably end up blinding half the beach with my legs alone.”

Derek was laughing, near tears at this point, “Oh, come on kid, it can't be that bad.”

“Oh, it is,” Spencer was slightly laughing at this point too, “I went to a pool party once in university and I was asked to put my shirt back on because the light was reflecting off my skin and ‘hurting people's eyes’... Derek, it was ten at night. My skin was reflecting the pool lights so severely it was hurting people.”

Derek barked out a laugh so hard he nearly fell off the table and Spencer couldn't help but join him. “So you just need a little bit of sun, cancel out some of the white. Why not come with me to Barbados? Little sand, little sun, and a whole lotta’ fun.” He shot a quick wink at Spencer who just scoffed and looked away. “Give me two days with you on the beach and I guarantee I could get you a couple shades darker, at least.”

“Oh, yes,” he nodded, smirking, “as well as skin cancer.”

“I promise I won't let you get skin cancer, but that being said, once we get you all sunkissed and confident, I can't promise I'll be able to keep all those fine ladies off of you.”

“You're not making this sound any better. Skin cancer, STD’s, and multitudes of random women hanging off of me, no thank you.”

“Well, if you don't want to be swarmed by the fine exotic women,” he paused, smirking down at a waiting Spencer, “I'm sure I can help you land some handsome exotic men, then. I'm not here to judge. More women for me.”

Spencer reached to the side and grabbed the small pile of papers that were sitting there, and swiftly smacked Derek on the arm with them, “Get off my desk.”

“That doesn't sound like a denial,” he ducked as he was swatted at again, “come with me and I promise you'll have a good time.”

“Go!”

Derek chuckled once more, before ducking under his own desk to grab his bag, then turned back to toss the book back to Spencer who barely caught it, “My flight doesn't leave till tomorrow night, think about it!”

“I don't need to, I'm not going!”

“Think about it!”

“What's the point anyways!?” He called as Derek was almost out of ear shot, but he continued anyways, “When has vacation ever worked out for us? I'd buy a ticket and pay for a room, and realistically we'll probably end up right back here in two days, four tops!”

Derek was gone by this point, not having heard most of what he had said, more than likely already knowing that this was probably their reality, but not wanting to have to accept it. Though his complaints didn't fall on deaf ears.

“Oh, now you've gone and jinxed it. Just know that if our vacation gets cancelled due to a case, I am definitely coming after you first, Reid.”

He gazed up at Emily over the edge of his book, having indeed remembered the exact word he had left off on when it was stolen from him, and gave her a playful smirk. “I am only stating statistics. If you factor in every vacation we have had since we started here at the BAU, the odds that we will have a full, uninterrupted ‘fourteen glorious days’ as Morgan put it, are less than ten percent. Eight point five-six-three-two percent to be exact.”

“God I hate you sometimes,” though she laughed as she said it, “so you really don't have any plans?”

“I never said I didn't have any plans,” he sighed and closed his book on his desk, resigned to not getting any reading done until everyone was gone, “just because I don't have plans involving a hot beach or women, doesn't mean I don't have plans.”

“Oh!” She perked up and moved closer, intrigued. “So what kinds of fun are you up to then?”

“Oh, loads!” He shifted in his chair, moving to lean towards her with his elbows on his desk. “I'm signed up for a lecture series that starts tomorrow, but the one I'm most excited for is a lecture called ‘Synthetic Metals: A Novel Role For Organic Polymers’ presented by Dr. Alan G. MacDiarmid. It's a Nobel lecture all about possible engineering applications for, and the inner workings of, organic and conductive polymers. It sounds completely fascinating! I was also thinking of taking a trip to Colonial Williamsburg. I mean, how amazing would it be to walk the same streets as Thomas Jefferson, or eat in the same place as George Washington! I was also thinking of visiting the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. They have over twenty- two thousand works on display that are largely focused on modern and contemporary art, especially with a focus on European art after the nineteen hundreds. They are also having a workshop there next week focusing on-”

“Woah, woah, take a breath,” she laughed a bit, then asked with a hint of concern, “aren't you doing anything that doesn't involve… learning? Like, no info intake, no lecture series, no workshops, just relaxing? Letting your brain just take a break?”

Spencer pouted his bottom lip in thought then looked back up to Emily, “No? Why would I want to waste two weeks doing nothing when I could spend them increasing my knowledge?”

“Wouldn't you want to sit back and…” She stared confusedly at an equally confused Spencer, then just shook her head with another laugh, “Nevermind, look who I’m talking to. Of course you would think that spending two weeks learning would be an ideal vacation. To each their own I guess, right.”

He just nodded, picking his book up again as she moved away from his desk.

“Well, have fun with your jam packed knowledge filled two weeks, see you in fourteen days.”

“Or in two to four days. Don't forget the eight point five-six-three-two percent chance that I will see you before-”

“Blah, blah, blah!” She covered her ears as she walked away from him, “Can't hear you, already on vacation!”

“Very mature,” though he was smiling, “have fun with your mother.”

She threw a quick wave at him then disappeared. When she was finally gone, he sat back in his chair with a content sigh. Now that Emily was gone, it was just himself, Rossi, and Hotch who were left in the office, and he knew there was a very low chance that either of them would interrupt him to inquire about his vacation plans. He was finally able to finish his book in peace before catching the last train home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Knock, knock.”

Aaron looked up from where he had been bent over the front of his desk, the pile of papers he had been sorting through covering every inch of it, and towards the door. “David, come in.”

The man did, eyeing the mess, but merely stood in the middle of the room and tucked his hands into the pockets of his very expensive suit. “Always one of the last to leave, huh?”

“Has everyone gone?” Aaron asked without looking up this time.

“Everyone except the usual suspect.”

“Reid.” Aaron sighed. ‘Not last to leave,’ he thought. Spencer always seemed to still be there, even in the late late hours of the night. After a case, before vacation, even sometimes during vacation. Aaron always felt bad for the man, worried that he was lonely, though nowadays he could relate.

“I overheard him talking with Emily and Derek before they left. His most exciting plans seem to have something to do with a Nobel lecture series,” Rossi moved closer, taking up the chair in front of Aaron’s desk, “that kid needs to learn how to slow down and relax, I'm worried he might burn out someday if he doesn't. He should go out, have some fun from time to time.”

“Well I'm not much better,” Aaron turned, leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, now facing David, “my plans for the next two weeks pretty much consist of staying home, catching up on more paperwork, and if I can swing it with Haley, taking Jack for a few days. If I play my cards right, the park will be the most exciting adventure of my vacation. I'm not exactly going out to paint the town red either.”

“Yeah, you two are wild,” he drawled with a smirk, “you know, maybe a date would do the kid well. Loosen him up a bit.”

Aaron eyed him warily with a tilt of his head, seeing right through his attempted ruse, “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“Perhaps, while you both have the time off, you and Spencer could plan something together.” Aaron closed his eyes with a sigh and shifted, opened his mouth to say something in protest, but David beat him to it, hands up to stop him. “I'm just saying, you're the only two people on the team that aren't out of town for the next two weeks. I’ll be in Italy visiting family, JJ is taking her family camping, Prentis is visiting her mom, Garcia is, quote, ‘on a shopping tour of all the best malls in the northern hemisphere’, and Morgan is hitting the beach in Barbados. That leaves you and Reid. So all I'm saying is that maybe you can stop fantasizing about the kid and actually do something about your infatuation.”

Aaron just gaped at his friend, shocked, speechless for the first time in as long as he can remember. “I… how…” Was the only thing he was able to manage to stutter out.

David just smiled up at him mischievously and stated, “I'm a profiler, Aaron, and a damn good one. I've seen the way you look at Spencer, the way you stick close to him, and it's very obvious you care about him. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, yet ironically the only one to not have figured it out yet is the only actual certified genius.”

Aaron still didn't know what to say. He had never told anyone about how he felt about Spencer. It was hardly appropriate for him to attempt to pursue the man considering he was his superior, not to mention older than him. Something that had plagued him since the very day he met the cute, quirky doctor on his first day with the BAU.

“I can tell you're over-thinking, Aaron.” Rossi speaking brought him out of his small internal panic and he looked down at him. “What is it? That you're his boss? Strauss?”

He shifted, crossing his arms impossibly closer to his chest. No point in denying it now. “A bit of both, I guess. Not to mention the age difference between us.”

“First off, I wouldn't worry about Strauss. If anything were to happen between you and Spencer, as long as you navigate the correct channels and immediately disclose your relationship, sign the proper papers, then there is nothing Strauss can do against either of you or your jobs. As for you being his superior, I wouldn't even give that a second thought. No one on our team would think anything of it, no one would ever even entertain the thought that you took advantage, and neither would Spencer.” David then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he spoke. “And the age gap, who cares. Love, is love, is love. Take it while you've got it and don't ever let it go. Age is but a number and love knows no bounds.”

“Very profound of you, David.” He couldn't help but let a small chuckle slip.

“What can I say, I am the embodiment of love.”

“Right, and is that why you've been married three times and are on wife number four?”

They both laughed, hearty and full, and for the first time since they started talking, Aaron found himself feeling a lot lighter. It was nice to finally have someone who knew his secret feelings for the young genius, and be able to actually have someone to talk to and confide in about it.

Rossi's phone ringing broke the moment though, and he reached into his pocket, just looking at the screen and not answering. “Well, my ride to the airport is here. I will see you in two weeks, do not call me.”

Aaron let loose one last light chuckle, moving along with Dave to see him out. With a smile and a pat on the back as they reached the door he said, “I'll try not to, enjoy your time in Italy.”

“Oh I intend to,” he opened the door, then turned back at the last minute, “but do me a favor will ya. Don't call me, but do call Spencer.”

Aaron just smiled, gave Dave a small push out the door, and answered, “Good bye, David.”

Once he was out the door and down the stairs, Aaron closed the door and took a step to the side to watch him cross the bullpen. He gave a quick goodbye to Spencer as he passed, and then he was gone. Then his eyes wandered over to the last person left besides himself, still sitting alone at his desk, leaned back reading his book. He sighed, watching Spencer for a moment longer before thinking to himself, maybe David was right. Why should he worry about all that other nonsense? Besides, he would never know if Spencer felt the same unless he asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaron finally finished organizing the paperwork explosion on his desk, filing away what was finished and adding the rest to his bag, then was finally able to head out.

It had been a good two hours since Rossi had left his office, leaving Aaron with all kinds of things to think about, and the man that those thoughts were all about was still sitting in the same spot he had been in since vacation officially began. Though now, Spencer was already halfway through his second book.

As he passed him, the younger man not even so much as lifting his eyes from his book, he said a quiet, “Have a good vacation, Reid.”

“You too, Hotch,” he answered back, and Aaron just about kept walking, but stopped himself at the last minute and turned back.

They were currently alone, no one else around but him and Spencer, so now was just as good a time as any. “Reid…”

At the questioning tone to his name, Spencer looked up at Hotch who was now standing right in front of him, “Yeah?”

“I… I was…'' Spencer was still looking up at him with concerned eyes, a furrowed brow, and if Aaron was being honest, a super cute frown. Now, what Aaron wanted to say was ‘Spencer, I know that you and I are the only two who will be remaining in town for the duration of our vacation time, and I was wondering perhaps, if you would like to take advantage of the fact and allow me to take you out to dinner tomorrow night?’ But what he actually managed to come out with instead, was a sad and defeated, “I… I just wanted to wish you well. I hope you have a good fourteen days, and I heard you will be attending a lecture series, I hope it's informative.”

“Right…” Hotch couldn't be certain, but he was sure that Spencer almost looked… disappointed? “An-anything else?”

“... No, I don't believe so.” And before he could stumble his way through any more embarrassing sentences he quickly said, “Good night,” and left before Spencer could even return the sentiment. Leaving him staring, still confused and a little down, after a fast walking Aaron, not having the courage to even look back as he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Derek woke for the first time well rested and relaxed. No case to solve, no unsub on his mind, no high speed chase down unfamiliar roads, and no showdown with a psychopath in some dark abandoned warehouse. It was just him, the sun, the sand, and two weeks of relaxing and sleeping late, eating more than he probably should and shoving as much fun into two weeks as was completely possible.

Now, those were Derek's original plans. The plans he made before he left Quantico, Virginia for the beaches in Barbados. For the all night parties, the beautiful ladies, and the all inclusive never ending free drinks. And yet, here he found himself, within arm's reach of all those things, and not doing a single one of them.

Instead, Derek walked down the beach and found an empty lounge chair tucked under a very colourful umbrella. A sprite and lime with ice in hand, he stood and looked out at the calming ebb and flow of the ocean, letting the soft crashing of the waves take over and clear his mind completely. It was nice, the best he'd felt in a long, long time.

A volleyball skid to a halt at his feet, covering his toes in warm sand, caught his attention and he turned to face the small group of women off to his side. He kicked the ball back over to them, each one of them very obviously interested in getting to know Derek, even if it were just for one night. But to his own surprise, he found himself flashing a smile and a wave in decline of their invitation to come play, and instead took up his seat in the covered lounge chair.

He took a second to breathe in the fresh air, took a sip of his drink, then reached down to the small bag he had tucked under the chair, rifling through until he found what he was looking for. He settled back in the chair, not able to help the smile that spread across his face as he read the title of the book in his hands, 'The Art of War', and settled back to read it with a quietly muttered, "Damn you, Spencer Reid."

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So there is chapter 1, chapter 2 to come soon! I’m super excited about this guys XD

And if anyone wants to be tagged for future updates please let me know <3

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jamestrmtx · 5 years ago

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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 2 of 3 | His POV)

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Still disoriented by the hug, the skeleton finds it difficult not to spare a glance at the human every so often. Though the train's near empty and it allows for some space between him and (Y/N), he still feels too close to them. It was rare for people to find a way to pay back at him for his constant joking around, and he's quite frankly bummed over learning Frisk had told on him. Though he wasn't one to use the same joke on two different people, he wanted to go a similar route with at least one of Frisk's parents, just to see how much they were alike to their child. As results of his defeat, he can only try to strike up another conversation with them while the train makes it to his stop.

"Frisk told me they lived with you only," he says, breaking the ice. "How's it like being a single parent? If you're, well... single, I mean."

He almost wants the ground to eat him up and spit him back to the Underground with how blunt he'd been just now. And while it wasn't intentional, his question along with the text messages from earlier made him feel as if he was involuntarily flirting with the human. Thankfully, they don't show an immediate reaction, and when they do react, it's followed with a smile.

"It's a bit tough sometimes, but… I'd say as long as you raise your child well and that you enjoy what you're doing, then it can be pretty rewarding." Warmth softens (Y/N)'s eyes and they appear vulnerable for just a moment. "I've raised Frisk on my own since they were a newborn, and it's been nice to see how far they've gone." The human stops talking to stare at him for a second; it's a second that takes far too long for his liking, and one where he feels as if he's being judged just as stern and ruthless as he once was during his time at the Underground. "Are you a father yourself? Your... question kind of makes me think that."

First the hug, and now this.

The kid's parent really knew how to give him frequent, near-death experiences, it seems.

"Uh…" Words stay stuck in his metaphorical throat, until he finally replies with, "No, but I hadda take responsibility over my bro when we were younger." He rubs the back of his neck and looks away from them, their eyes being far too attentive for his taste. "But I'd say it's nothin' compared to being a real parent, though."

"Don't sell yourself short," they say, nudging his shoulder. "I'd like to meet your brother someday. What's his name?"

"Papyrus -- the one you mentioned earlier."

"Do you have pictures?"

It's almost impossible for him not to be amused at how excited they seem all of a sudden, yet he fights back a chuckle, not wanting for it to be taken the wrong way. He proceeds to search through his phone for a picture of his brother, stopping when he finds one with Frisk in it, too. "Here he is," he says, holding the phone out for them.

He scoots back as subtly as he can manage when they move a bit closer, ending the space of one seat once left between each other. Now, he sits right beside them, and he begins to wonder over how normal it is for a human to be this way; open and chatty. Surely, and just like how every other monster type was different in their own way, then humans had to have similar differences, too. As a result, Sans tries not to let (Y/N)'s sudden proximity get to him and ignores the weird feeling in his non-existent gut when he meets a bit closer with their face, greeted with intrigued eyes and an equally curious smile. "He's so grown up already. I honestly thought he'd be younger based on what you and Frisk told me!"

They move back a little, finally allowing him space to let out a breath and contemplate just what was that weird feeling from earlier ago; the monster couldn't possibly have developed a crush already, and it was far too silly and farfetched to even think about. Simply fooling around a little through text and having them hug him to backfire his prank wasn't near enough for any sort of attraction to build up yet. He tries to tell himself that time after time again, though he can't forget the gentleness of their touch when pulling him in for that hug, nor can he ignore how blatant and bold he'd been with them through texts. Still, if anything had to be fueling those feelings of his, it had to be the sheer lack of contentment he'd been experiencing as of recent, deeming him more vulnerable when it came to making and maintaining new relationships with others.

Sans was down, and while he didn't want to admit it, he needed to go back to some sort of routine and professional counseling to get him back on track. Even Frisk had seen him at his worst at one point, going as far as to admit he'd given up, yet now he's here again, and with the company of their primary caregiver, to boot. The human's eyes stay on him even as he stores the phone away, incrementing the same strange feeling from before.

"How do you feel being out here now?" they ask. "If you lived underground, I'm guessing up here's much warmer, right? …Or at least most of it, I expect!" They seem to recall something and take a quick moment to gather their thoughts. "Your contact information said you worked in Snowdin, Waterfall, and Hotland. Is… Is the name Hotland true to its name?"

"Very," he says, chuckling. "And Snowdin and Waterfall, too." He knows he's not making eye contact anymore, so he tries to look at them again, but can't bring himself to no matter how many times he tries. "That's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about."

The human nods with a smile, signaling for him to carry on speaking. The monster finally manages to look at them directly, aware this was most likely the last time they would smile at him after he told the truth about all the stuff that took place back at the Underground. Surely, and just as he suspected was something (Y/N) wanted to talk with him about, a parent wouldn't feel too fond knowing most of his kind had tried to hurt and chase after their child at one point. He's already anticipating an inevitable downfall in the barely-relationship he has with them, but that doesn't stop him from trying to make himself acquainted with them before any of that ever came to be a reality.

"I was wonderin' if you wanted to see what it's like down there," he says, setting those thoughts out to rest. "It could help you understand your kid's journey better, and you could also learn more about my kind, too."

When their smile grows, he almost feels a pang of guilt reach the very center of his ribcage. Knowing he'd hit it off well with them and knowing it wouldn't last long made him feel worse at every second he kept secret all the mistakes his kind made on their own. "I'd love to," they reply, eyes almost lighting up in joy. "So I assume you would be the one showing me there, then?" Sans nods and watches as they rummage something from their pocket, retrieving a notepad and pen; both are patterned with bunnies all over, a sight that makes the monster wonder if that stationary was a gift from Frisk. "That reminds me," they add, offering both items out to him. "Could you tell me if I'm missing anyone on this list?" He takes the items and ignores when their fingers brush with his, just as gentle as the hug felt. "It's supposed to be all the monsters Frisk made friends with there."

"Sure," he says, flipping the notepad open. A grin returns to his face when he remembers just how many friends Frisk made back there, and how many more they would've likely made had they met the monsters on different terms, and had they stayed at the Underground for longer than they had. "It's gonna be one helluva list, though -- Kid made more friends than I can count."

They cover up a laugh, saying, "Didn't you used to be a scientist? I'm sure you know way more math than me."

"Maybe that's why it says past scientist 'stead of former?"

Though Sans had been joking around himself, he sees a frown fall on the human's face, a sudden change of expression followed by them shifting on their seat. "I'm sorry," they say, meeting his irises. "That was a rude question, wasn't it? It's… It's not exactly polite to bring up a stranger's past like that, isn't it?"

"I mean, yeah, but…" He pauses to observe their change in expression, far too concerned over something so trivial. "I'm okay with being honest, and that's exactly why I'm here, anyway." Their distressed expression stays intact, showing they barely took his words as true. "There's a lotta stuff I could've done and approached differently during my time at the Underground, and now I wanna change that." He doesn't know why he's running his mouth now, but one thing's for certain, and it's that he wants to keep on talking. If he was the judgment card out of all the major arcana, the human sitting next to him had to be either the tower or the hermit. "Maybe I can't tell you all about it right now, but there's a lotta stuff I need to clear up and come clean about before we can get to know each other better."

The train halts and the doors open, his stop finally marking itself on the screen. Only two of the few other people present stand up, and him and (Y/N) are the last two to exit. He walks with them side by side, continuing with the conversation until he finds the place he'd be inviting them over to.

------------------------------

Finally there, Sans goes with the human to a diner both Grillby and Muffet were jealous of, and just by stepping into the building, he can already tell why. It smells heavenly, its interiors look straight out of a home renovation magazine, and it's bustling with people, but it's still spacious enough not to make the surroundings feel stuffy or cramped. Most occupied tables have a room with a view sort of attraction, large glass panes allowing customers to observe the inner workings of the mall from the comfort of their seat and a cheap and warm meal. As a consequence, there's a couple of empty tables left farther away, these having the privacy of low lighting and no windows nearby, a spot more than adequate for the conversation he would soon have with Frisk's parent. He points at it with his irises and tells them to sit there while he goes to make both orders at the counter.

"Aren't we splitting the bill?" they ask, a hand already searching around for their wallet.

"I made the invite, so it's only fair I pay," he replies, winking at them. "Besides, after what we're gonna talk about here, you'll probably be mad enough to never talk to me again."

"How does that correlate with us not splitting the bill?" They quirk a brow, smile, and take a seat at the empty table nonetheless. "And who says that? We haven't even gotten to talk about anything too serious yet."

He laughs. "Believe me when I say the situation down there was a big ol', complicated mess." His gaze wanders to the counter, seeing only a line of two people waiting for their turn. "So here's to hopin' a lunch with you and treating you to it makes things a lil' bit less tense between us."

"You're trying to bribe me with food, is what you're saying?" Their smile grows and they relax on their seat.

He snickers. "Depends on how ya look at it, pal."

With that, he leaves the human at the table and goes off to the ordering line, setting the topic aside from his mind to focus on making the orders and taking the correct amount of currency used at the Surface. It takes no longer than five minutes for it to be his turn, though when it's time to finally say both orders, he freezes and so does the cashier when he looks at the table Sans had just walked out from. The name tag on the man's uniform shows to be a familiar last name; it's the only other last name besides (Y/N)'s found in Frisk's full name. 'Jerry', his first name reads, the owner of the name being a six foot tall hunk with tanned skin, plenty of muscle, blond hair, a sharp jawline, and every other feature one could expect out of the typical jock character seen in some American movies he often found thrown at the Underground's dumpster, source from where Alphys got her anime, Mettaton his glamour, and Napstablook their music.

The man's customer service smile falls to a near death stare when he meets with Sans's gaze, his glare and height enough to make the monster feel cornered.

"Is that (Y/N) over there?" Jerry asks, pointing with his eyes over to where they sit at. "What's a guy like you doing with my ex?"

Sans grins, resists the urge to roll his irises, and lifts his gaze up higher, not wanting to be towered over by the man behind the counter. "What about you, pal? That ex you're talkin' about, Frisk, and even CPS have been lookin' everywhere for ya. And now you jus' suddenly appear outta nowhere?"

"Oh, that's real damn rich coming from a guy who threatened my kid with death."

Oh.

Oh no.

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#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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otagamerkorin · 4 years ago

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Trial by Fire (including very little actual fire and honestly just a whole lot of snow)

Merry (very belated) Christmas @blasphemousfungus! I was your secret santa for @kibasniper‘s Psychonauts Secret Santa! Unfortunately, due to a lotta stuff going on in my life, your present isn’t completely done yet, but here’s the first (honestly kinda massive) chapter of it! I plan on putting it up on AO3 as well, so I’ll ping you then too! For reference, this was highly inspired by mystery_notebook (or I think they might be @tvguts on here?) fic Like It Used To Be, But Better, which is amazing and you should totally check it out. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy it!

Edit: Just realized I completely forgot to give it a title. Whoops.

When they had gone into the asylum, none of the members of Thorney Towers had expected to come back out not only dear friends with a 10 year old, but also under the close monitor of an organization of secret psychic agents. Initially is had only been to ensure that being around Loboto while in such delicate condition hadn’t left any lasting damage. Luckily from what they’d been able to work out from the fours scattered memories of the time, the dentist hadn’t involved them in any of his experiments, but better safe than sorry. The surveillance really hadn’t gotten in the way of their new lives much. A few calls a week, the occasional in-person check in to see how they were doing, not much to write home about in the grand scheme of things.

After a time though, things had begun to get...interesting.

It was actually Boyd who kicked the whole thing off, so to say. It had been a day like any other, possibly even more quiet and domestic than usual considering they’d just hit the weekend. According to the other three, he’d simply been drying dishes after dinner that night when a wayward mug has slipped off the counter behind him. The resulting crash has two effects. 1.) The former nightguard jumped about three feet off the ground with a startled shriek. And 2.) The dishtowel in his hands promptly burst into flames. Luckily he’d dropped the flaming cloth into surprise and a bit of group panic and rapid stomping has quickly put out the blaze, leaving the four gathered in the small kitchen, staring down at its burnt remains.

The lot of them, Boyd especially, were dumbfounded by the whole event and immediately phoned up their new psychic associates, if only to make sure they weren’t all going crazy again. There had to be some mundane explanation for this, right? But after a few quick tests from Sasha, it was official: Boyd was most definitely a psychic.

Signs from the others quickly followed. Fred would frequently find papers and pens floating in orbit around him whenever he got embroiled in his nursing reinstatement exams. Edgar would sometimes find those around him caught up in a sort of bewildering mental fog, leaving them staring around in confusion. And while Gloria had always had quite the green thumb, now the plants in her garden flourished with just the touch of her hand, the woman assaulted with a hundred whispered voices of delight whenever she appeared at the gate with her watering can. Lili was especially happy about the latter, having never met a fellow connoisseur of florakinesis until that point, let alone one who was so friendly.

To say everyone, both Psychonaut and otherwise, was baffled was an understatement. None of the four had shown an signs of psychic powers earlier in life. So why now?

It was Razputin of all people who offered a hypothesis. They were all aware that the large amount of Psitanium around the camp and asylum had been less that helpful for the fours delicate mental state, what with the whole “making the sane less sane” thing and all. Perhaps though, the other half of the phrase may also be in play. What if being around all that Psitanium has brought whatever deeply buried psychic powers the four shared to the surface?

Honestly, it was the best they had to go on. There were hardly any cases of spontaneous psychic manifestation in those beyond adolescence and the four weren’t showing any of the usual symptom relating to those sort of circumstances.

Regardless, it didn’t change the fact that the organization now had a whole mess of new psychics in the mix who needed training.

Which is what brought Milla to the front gates of the Von Gouten Arts Academy for Girls (formally Hagatha Home) bright and early one Wednesday morning. The former actress had bought the dilapidated old academy around a year ago using some of the wealth she’s amassed during her glory years. (It was amazing how much interest a saving account left to sit could accrue.) Since then she’d been fixing the place up, hiring teachers and generally getting the place running even better than before, eventually joined in her endeavors by the other three Thorney Towers residents when they moved onto the grounds with her.

Milla found herself smiling up at the stylized “VG” woven into the metal of the newly installed gate in the stone fence that surrounded the property. Gloria really was doing an excellent job with the place. Rolling her window down, the Mental Minx leaned out and pressed the button of the call box installed in the fence wall. For a moment there was silence and then a familiar voice crackled to life on the other end.

“Good morning! Do you have an appointment?”

“Well, I would certainly hope so Darling.” Milla teased and she could practically hear the smile in Boyd’s voice when he replied.

“Dang, is it really Wednesday already? Well, head right on up Mrs. Vodello! I’ll let the rest of the gang know you’re coming.”

There was a buzz and the whirring of mechanisms as the gate opened and allowed access to the road beyond. Continuing on down the path, she soon found herself pulling into the large round driveway in front of the building. A group of students tending to one of the flower beds out front waved as she parked and stepped out of the car, Boyd likewise stepping out of the guard shack nearby and making his way over.

“Good morning to you Ms. Vodello! You the only one here today?”

“Not quite.” She replied with a chuckle, just in time for the back door of the car to fly open and Raz to stick his grinning face out around it.

“Hi Boyd!”

“Hey, good to see you too Raz! Come on inside, the rest of the gang should be on their way.” He replied with a grin, reaching down to ruffle the boy’s hair as he led them inside.

For as horrid as the place had apparently originally been ran, the former owner had at least had good architectural sense, and the large oak front doors opened into a soaring foyer, complete with a grand spiral staircase. One that Gloria was already beginning to make her way down as the doors closed behind them.

“Well good morning Ms. Vodello! And to you too Raz dear!” The former actress beamed, taking Boyd’s offered arm as she stepped down the last few stairs.

“You came at just the right time. I just finished up with morning announcements. Please, feel free to head right over to the practice room, the rest of the boys should already be on their way. Oh, and I’ve also had some snacks from the dining hall sent on ahead. I hope you both like blueberry muffins!”

“That sounds just delightful darling!” Milla replied cheerfully, smiling wider when she saw the stars in Raz’s eyes at the mention of food. Milla sidled up beside the actress as they started down into one of the academy’s wings, one of Gloria’s arms still linked with Boyd’s.

“So how have the plants been treating you darling?”

“Oh, better everyday! My garden is thriving and I think I’m really starting to get a good hold of this whole telepathy thing! Getting it across to all my little lovelies that there’s really no need to shout every time I come in hasn’t been easy, but I think it’s finally starting to stick. The roses and lilies are still a horrible bunch of gossips, but I doubt there’s much I’ll ever be able to do about that.” She replied with a laugh.

“They do come in useful to make sure none of the students are pulling anything they shouldn’t though!”

“That’s wonderful to hear! How about you Boyd? Have you been making any process in your off-time?” Milla asked, the guard rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Yeah, a bit. It ain’t exactly been fast progress, but one step at a time you know? But hey! At least I haven’t accidentally lit up anything important again since you taught me those exercises. There’s only so many times I can almost burn down Edgar’s classroom before it starts to get ridiculous.”

Milla smiled softly, reaching over to pat the guard on the back.

“Well, learning to fully control one’s powers can be a long path. It took me years to master my own skillset. Like you said, it’s just one step at a time. I think you’ve made wonderful progress though, and I’m very proud of you darling.” She mused and the man flushed a bit at her praise and mumbled a word of thanks, tugging his hat low over his eyes bashfully as Gloria gave him a smile.

The group of four quickly found themselves at the extra dance studio in the buildings far west they’d assigned at their practice room, and upon stepping inside found Fred and Edgar already waiting for them.

“Oh, hey Ms. Milla. And you too Raz. Sorry, gimme just a sec to finish up some papers.” The tall school counselor called over distractedly, scribbling away on a clipboard from where he was sitting on a nearby bench.

“Apologies for my rather ruffled appearance as well, mi amigos.” Edgar chimed in, wiping his hands down with a long-since-stained painting cloth. Both his hands and the old shirt he wore were splattered with the stuff, having somehow even managed to get some on his face and hair.

“You caught me in the middle of a bit of early morning painting.”

“Just be sure to remember and get some rest dear. We can’t have our best art teacher burning the candle at both ends.” Gloria replied with a smile as she strode over, reaching up to stroke away a smudge of paint on his cheek. The artist gave a soft smile as he leaned into the touch.

“Oh course mi amour.”

“Good. And that goes for your too Fred. Don’t think I haven’t noticed a certain someone sneaking out of bed early the last few mornings.” She called over, and the counselor jumped a bit at being called out, flushing bashfully as he looked at her over the edge of the clipboard.

“Right, you’re right. So, what’s the plan for today Ms. Milla? Seeing as how Mr. Dark and Serious isn’t here, I assume we’re working on our levitation?” Fred asked, setting aside the clipboard as he pushed himself to his feet, the Brazilian woman giving a laugh at his joke.

“Oh come now, Sasha isn’t that bad. But you are correct! Today we’re going to be working more on your levitation!” She replied, settling back as though sitting upon an invisible chair and crossing her legs as she floated up a few feet above the ground.

“Now, last time you all managed to manifest a “Levitation Ball” as we like to call it. This time we’ll be taking the next step and practicing our ability to balance atop them. Razputin darling, if you would demonstrate?” The Mental Minx requested and the young psychic nodded, raising a hand above his head. A large ball of swirling orange energy formed in his palm and he tossed it down, easily jumping up and balancing atop it.

“Now then, we aren’t all trained acrobats like Razputin here, so it might take a while to find your balance and get the hang of it. Consider it like balancing on a medicine ball. Remember, thinking lighter, rounder, happier thoughts can help in manifesting the ball more easily. Go ahead and give it a try! And please let me know if you need any help at all.”

Early on in these lessons the group had felt a bit silly to be using psychic instruction methods typically meant for children, but they’d gotten over it quickly enough. After all, most psychics got their powers much younger than the lot of them were, so starting at a lower level of instruction was only appropriate. It helped that the simple exercises really worked wonders too.

Though that didn’t mean it was gonna be easy. Forming the ball was one thing. Staying on was another.

A fact the group quickly discovered.

Fred gave a squeak as his light blue orb suddenly slid forward, taking the foot he’d just managed to plant atop it along with it, threatening to pull the man into a split as he hopped forward to follow it. In his defense, Edgar and Boyd didn’t seem to be doing much better. The latter had managed to get atop his off-white bubble, but was now swaying about wildly as he tried to keep balanced, arms windmilling in an attempt to steady himself. The former was having much the same troubles, quickly getting dumped back onto the floor each time he attempted to clamber up.

Gloria was the only one of the bunch who seemed to be making much progress. The woman had moved over to one of the practice room’s ballet bars and was gripping it for stability as she gingerly set one foot on her own ball. With a small grunt she hefted herself up, the orb wiggling worryingly beneath her for a moment before stilling.

“There you go! You’re doing wonderful darling!” Milla cheered her on, clapping encouragingly as the other woman smiled.

“Why thank you Milla dear. After some of the ridiculous shoes I’ve had to wear in my years on the stage, this isn’t so bad.” Gloria replied, putting her arms out to balance as her stance wavered a bit.

“Oof! Well, I’m glad one of us seems to be getting it, mi amor. This is far less easy than Señorita Vodello makes it look.” Edgar replied with a grunt, the wind getting knocked out of him as he fell to the ground once more. Milla let out a thoughtful hum, tapping her lips as she watched the struggling group. Suddenly her eyes flashed with inspiration and she snapped her fingers with a grin.

“Well, I think I may know a way to help.”

The whole group, including Raz, whom had rolled over to try and help Boyd stay upright, turned to look at her in interest.

“I’d like you all to form two, smaller levitation balls instead of one.” She directed, miming the shape of two basketball sized orbs.

“Uh, ok. But how is that gonna help?” Fred asked, already focusing on trying to reform his ball into two even as he tiled his head in confusion.

“Well, as you know, those like me, who’ve had a lot of practice, don’t require a physical representation of their levitation in order to float. Most of those who do tend to only create a singular orb to assist them, so they can don’t have to split their focus. I’ve found that others though, who have a nice grip on the psychic side of things, but are having a harder time managing the physical part, tend to prefer use two. Think of them a bit like ice or roller skates.”

“Oh, I think I see what you mean amiga!” Edgar replied in excitement, focusing till his deep red ball split into two smaller ones. Carefully, he stepped atop on, managing to balance one-footed long enough to successfully stabilize himself using the other. Cautiously, he rolled forward a few feet, face splitting into a smile as he managed to keep his balance.

“Well, well, this actually is easier.”

The others quickly followed his example, and the slight adjustment seemed to do wonders. Soon Gloria was twirling lazy loops around the room like a proper skater, Edgar trailing a bit more slowly, but no less enthusiastically, after her. Fred seemed to be doing a tad bit better than before, but was still gripping tight to a much more steady Boyd’s shoulders as the two slowly drifted in circles, Fred’s long legs doing their damnedest to keep him upright.

“Never been great at skating either, but this is a bit better I guess.” The counselor murmured, glancing up to find his partner giving him an encouraging smile.

“Hey, it just takes a little practice! I’m sure you’ll levitating like a pro in no time!” Raz encouraged, giving a whoop of delight as Gloria grabbed him and twirled him around as he glided past.

“Impressive, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut the class short for today.”

The whole group gave a jump at the sudden voice, Fred giving a yelp as the levitation bubbles below him popped and dropped him on his ass, and they all turned to see Sasha standing in the now open doorway.

“Sasha, darling! What are you doing here? Didn’t you have other business today?” Milla asked in confusion, drifting over to help Fred up, and the German sighed seriously.

“Yes, but I just got a call from the headquarters. It seems...that Agent Pandor has disappeared.”

Milla gave a gasp, pressing both hands to her mouth, and Raz cocked his head in confusion.

“Uhhh, who’s Agent Pandor?”

“Ms. Tanya Pandor. One of the Psychonauts junior agents and a specialist in subterfuge and information gathering. I’m afraid you haven’t had the opportunity to meet yet.”

“But isn’t Tanya on vacation right now?” Milla asked and Sasha nodded.

“Yes, she had gone skiing at a lodge up in Colorado. The HQ asked her to check in regularly for security reasons. According to what I was briefed with, reports dropped off a few days ago. After a few failed attempts to get ahold of her, eventually the HQ resorted to calling the lodge itself to check in on her, thinking maybe she’d fallen sick. When they checked her room however, the whole thing was empty. It’s as though she just vanished.”

“Oh my! That sounds troubling indeed!” Gloria gasped, mirroring Milla as she held a hand to her mouth dramatically, and the German nodded.

“It certainly is. While Ms. Pandor wasn’t one of our top agents, her skills are none the less important to the Psychonauts and her disappearing is far from ideal. Finding out what happened to her has been assigned as our team’s top priority.”

“Well, is there anything we could do to help?” Fred piped up and the two senior agents looked over at him in confusion.

“What do you mean darling?” Milla asked and the counselor fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt as he replied.

“Well, I mean we’re technically part of the Psychonauts to now, even if we’re just in training, right? So that means this agent is one of our buddies too. And it’s only right to try and help out our friends whenever we can right?”

“I agree!” Edgar exclaimed, clapping a hand down on his companion’s shoulder as he turned to face the assembled agents.

“If there’s anything we can do to help and find this missing girl, we’re more than happy to do so!”

Boyd and Gloria nodded along in agreement as Sasha’s gaze scanned over them, the German man’s head tilting in thought.

“Well, I suppose more eyes on the ground would certainly help. And since Mrs. Pandor wasn’t on a mission or anything, this could be a fairly safe environment for you all to get some field experience...”

“Well, I think it sounds like a great idea!” Raz chipped in, folding his arms and nodding wisely, earning an eye roll and a sigh from the older agent.

“...Very well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt.”

“Excellent! Don’t you all worry, I’ll get all the arrangements handled! Just be ready to go in a few hours and remember to pack warmly!” Milla replied, clapping her hands together cheerfully, as Raz gave out a quiet cheer.

The three agents departed quickly after that, leaving the group to make arrangements. It took a bit of scrambling to get everything organized with the rest of the schools staff, but soon enough they found themselves packing.

“I sure hope that poor gal is ok. Hopefully we can find her quick.” Boyd mused, leaning hard onto his suitcase in order to try and get it to lock around the mound of sweaters and other winterwear inside.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s just fine Boyd dear. Those Psychonauts are a tough bunch after all. No doubt she’ll appreciate your concern when we do find her though.” Gloria reassured him, folding up a thick woolen dress to tuck into one of her own bags.

“I must admit, I’m a bit excited. I’ve never been to a ski lodge before.” Edgar pipped up, an excited smile on his face as Fred let out an amused laugh.

“Can’t say I have either. Well, cept for this one time back in college. And with all the drinks that weekend, I can barely remember it. I’m sure it’s not gotta be anything tooooo over the top. Those places always talk themselves up.”

“Holy hell, they were not talking this place up.” Fred muttered, his and the rest of the motley crews jaws dropping open in shock as they leaned out the windows of the truck to stare at the vista unfolding before them.

The place was really less of a lodge and more of a small village, what with the amount of connected buildings that made it up. The whole residence was constructed of pale wood, stone and brass, all woven together into a beautiful work of architectural engineering at the base of the snowy mountain. As they pulled into the parking lot at the place’s edge, they passed beneath a large ornate arch reading “Goldsmuth Lodge and Resort”.

“Yeah, Tanya does not mess around when it comes to her vacations. No really surprised, that girl barely gets any time off.” Oleander agreed, nodding in appreciating at the sight as the car slowed. When Milla and Sasha had announced their new plan to the other higher-up, the man had been assigned to the case as an additional supervisor, as well as another pair of eyes. Raz had tried to convince Lili to come along as well, but apparently there was few things the girl hated more than cold weather, not too much of a surprise coming from a florapath, so his requests had fallen on deaf ears.

Once their oversized vehicle had stopped, their collective group spilled out to stretch, several backs popping after the lengthy ride. They couldn’t very well retain their cover if they came flying in on a Psychonauts jet after all, so they’d been forced to stash it at one of the organizations safe houses and drive the rest of the way instead.

“Well then, let’s unpack and get checked in. The sooner we can find Ms. Pandor, the better.” Sasha announced, adjusting his glasses as he scanned the large plaza for the proper entrance.

There was suddenly a yelp and the sound of tumbling luggage from the rear of the vehicle. Glancing around the back of the truck, they found a mound of bags and suitcases that had no doubt tumbled free when the hatch had opened. A moment later a bag fell away as a familiar blue head popped up out of the pile and swiveled to look at them, the figure immediately giving them a sheepish smile, a hand also emerging from the pile to give them an awkward wave.

“I still can’t believe you convinced HQ to let us bring Loboto along.” Raz mused in amusement, Oleander shaking his head as he walked over to help extract the rehabilitated (in progress) criminal from his luggage prison.

“Well, Cagliosto is certainly in desperate need of some outside socialization. A relaxing place like this could be perfectly helpful with his recovery, darling!” Milla replied with a chuckle as she watched Morry lever the skinnier man up and almost fall over himself in the process. The former mad scientist quickly grabbed the agent by the front of his coat in a panic to keep him upright, the two flushing as the motion inadvertently tugged them chest to chest. Sasha gave as an amused eyeroll as the German could feasibly manage, while Milla and Raz gave a quiet giggle at his side. The two former villains had been dancing around each other for months now, much to the amusement, and occasionally frustration, of everyone watching.

“Well, like Sasha said, the sooner we get inside, the sooner we can really start enjoying ourselves. Here, let me help you there dear.” Gloria smiled, the rest of the group trailing after her as she stepped up to help retrieve the fallen luggage, Loboto giving her a thankful, if sheepish smile in return. While the four had long since forgiven Caligosto for all the asylum business (after all, he had been cursed at the time with, as he himself put it, the “insanity of a manatee”), things were still pretty awkward between them. Gloria though, every friendly, had doing her best to help bridge the gap in the meantime.

It took a bit to gather up all the luggage, and even longer to find the right entrance, but eventually they managed. The walk there had been interesting at least. Everywhere they looked, there was some new, interesting winter activity the place seemed to offer, from ice skating to toboggan rental. Their own rather modge-podge group was also getting a number of curious onlookers, which was far from ideal, but there wasn’t much they could do about it really.

The lodge’s lobby was wonderfully warm compared to the wintery chill outside, and they could already feel the scattered flakes of snow melting on their coats as they strode up to the main desk.

“Hello there! Can I help you ladies and gentlemen?” The brunette behind the desk asked with a smile, Sasha plucking his glasses off to wipe away the fog they’d accrued from the heat inside as he spoke.

“Reservations for Nein, Vodello and Gouten.”

“Alright then, just a moment!”

The young woman’s finger flew along the keyboard in a blur for several moment’s before she paused, biting her lip in concern.

“Oh, well there seems to be a small problem. You ladies and gentlemen called for a reservation rather last minute and it seems your rooms aren’t quite ready yet. My deepest apologies. You are all more than welcome to wait in the lodges lounge till they’re ready, free of charge.” She replied, giving an apologetic bow of her head as she gestured towards a pair of open doors nearby.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all darling!” Milla replied, waving a hand nonchalantly.

“Apologies for the rather sudden reservations. Our little trip was a bit of a recent development.”

“Thank you for your understanding Ms. I’ll come and inform you once your rooms are ready.”

The lounge was somehow even more impressive than the grand lobby they’d just stepped out of. He place was lit in a dim but cozy manner, a long bar stretching along one wall. The rest of the space was filled with a number of comfortable tables, armchairs and couches that encircled a handful of square open-sided pillar fireplaces that dotted the room here and there. With an excited “ooo!”, Raz rushed off to look around with Loboto trailing after him, the bunch chuckling at his antics as Sasha glanced around.

“How about you all stay here for a bit? We need to ask around the staff and see if we can find anything regarding Ms. Pandor’s disappearance.” He proposed after a moment.

“Are you sure? Is there any way we can help?” Boyd asked, fidgeting nervously.

“No, it would be best if you aren’t seen with us too much while we’re actively investigating. To help avoid casting suspicion on you lot as well and all.”

“Keep your eyes and ears open while we’re gone soldiers! Always vigilant!” Oleander commanded, giving them a little salute as the trio went off. Shaking her head in amusement at their antics, Gloria gestured toward the bar.

“Care for some drinks while we wait boys?”

Despite the lodge’s rather bustling crowd, there were only a few people at the bar and they were easily able to find seats.

“Hello there folks, what can I get you?” The bartender, a man looking somewhere in his 30’s, asked.

“Hot Chocolate!”

Gloria’s yelp of surprise at the sudden shout quickly devolved into giggles as Raz and the former villain popped up beside her, clambering up onto the next stools.

“And a cider for me sir.”

As the bartender went to work assembling the groups drink orders, he glanced over at them with a smile.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you folks around before. Welcome. What’s the occasion for the visit?”

The group glanced at each other, all trying their best to hide their slight panic. They hadn’t exactly been properly prepped for people asking them about their motives yet after all.

“Oh, uh, we, uh, came to visit with a friend we heard was staying here.” Boyd stuttered nervously. Picking up on what he was trying, Gloria slipped straight into her old actress skills and gave a sigh.

“Yes, a Ms. Tanya Pandor. She’s one of our old students. Unfortunately, it seems that we may have just missed her.”

The bartender paused, tapping his chin in thought.

“Ms. Pandor you say? Actually, I do remember her. Very exuberant. And you heard right, she seems to have left already. Was the talk of the staff rumor mill for a day or two actually. Some of her coworkers called asking to speak with her on some matter, but when the staff went up to let her know about the call, she was nowhere to bee seen. Must have left damn late at night for nobody to notice her. Which is odd really...”

“Odd, how?” Loboto asked, the group jumping a moment at his voice, seemingly having forgotten he was there, before leaning towards the bartender in interest, the man glancing around before lowering his voice.

“Well, we’re really not supposed to divulge things about the other guests, so you didn’t hear this from me, but I may have been one of the last people to see her. You see, I was assigned as a ski slope guard that day, you know, to watch and make sure nobody got injured and needed medical attention. I was stationed on one of our more challenging hills, the Black Diamond one, when I saw Ms. Pandor go whipping by. I know it has her because she had a very distinctive ski jacket she always seemed to be wearing. This whole black, purple and gold affair. Plus she has been very kind and gracious to the staff. We tend to remember those sorts of things. Anyways, she gave me a wave as she went past and seemed to be having the time of her life. It seems so strange that she would leave so abruptly without saying anything. I do hope something didn’t upset her.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, dear.” Gloria replied with a smile, waving a hand nonchalantly.

“Tanya has always been the spirited type, zipping from place to place. Just a little lightning bolt.”

“Yes, she certainly did seem like that type. I’m sure you’re right. Ah, that’s right, your drinks!”

The group was quickly presented with their fine beverages, including a healthy topping of whipped cream and sprinkles for Raz and Loboto’s chocolatey treats. Edgar and Gloria’s cider was just as delicious, rich and warm. (Fred and Boyd’s spiked eggnog was perhaps not the most professional thing to be drinking during a spy investigation, but nobody was about to call them out on it.) For a time they sat at the bar, chatting away to the bartender about the various activities around the lodge, before Raz suddenly caught the shape of their other companions watching them from a nearby doorway. Nudging Gloria, he nodded over towards them, and the woman took the hint, turning to the bartender with a smile.

“Well, I’m afraid we must be going now dear. We can’t spend all vacation here in the lounge after all. Thank you for the lovely time.”

“My pleasure Ms. I hope to see you all again soon.” He replied with a nod and smile as they stepped away from the bar, his eyes widening in surprise and delight when he noticed the generous tip the group had left tucked under one of the empty mugs.

Following their missing members lead, the group ducked over into a more private corner of the lounge to meet them.

“Did you guys find anything?” Raz asked quietly, Sasha giving a frustrated sigh in return.

“No, unfortunately not. None of the night staff noticed her leaving that day. Which leaves us back at square one.”

“Well, luckily for you, we just might have a clue.” Fred replied with a smile, the trio looking over at him in surprise.

“Wait, really?!” Oleander exclaimed and the counselor gave him an unamused look.

“Geez buddy, give us some credit. We’re not completely useless. But yeah, apparently somebody saw Tanya out on one of the ski slopes earlier that day. Whatcha wanna bet there might be some sort of clue somewhere out there?” He replied, Oleander reaching up to stroke his mustache in thought as he considered the other man’s words.

“I’d say you’d probably be right on the money. Maybe Pandor saw something out there that made her haul ass out of here, though I’ve never known her for the scaredy cat type. And that would still leave the question of where she went. But it’s a lead.”

“How’s about this?” Sasha pipped up, waving a hand to get all their attention.

“The three of us have worked out with the management to take a look in Ms. Pandor’s room, see if she maybe left some sort of clue behind. While we’re doing that, you six could head out onto the slopes and take a look around. A group of casual vacation goers, including a child, would likely draw a lot less attention than the three of us for the time being.”

“Well, I think it sounds like a marvelous plan!” Loboto replied exuberantly, pausing and rubbing his neck sheepishly when they all turned to look at him.

“If that’s alright with you all of course.”

He was met with a chorus of headshakes and “no, that’d be fine”s, so he grinned once more and nodded in satisfaction.

“Sounds like a plan then!”

“Just please all be careful.” Milla replied, eyes full of concern, and Raz gave her a comforting smile.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be ok! Besides, whenever are we not careful?”

The 50-yard stare of no doubt Whispering Rock related war flashbacks that she gave him in return spoke volumes.

“Thank god for government provided tailoring. Trying to find snow wear for proportions like mine is hellish.” Fred sighed quietly in satisfaction, adjusting his perfectly fitting ski jacket to a chorus of chuckles. The 6 of them were currently waiting in line at the equipment rental shop. Once they’d gotten their luggage up to the rooms and finally unpacked, they’d found the new sets of winter gear amongst their belongings, perfectly tailored and clearly a gift from the Psychonauts organization. How said organization knew their measurements was a mystery they neither had, nor wanted, the answer to.

“I must admit, they are rather fetching, aren’t they?” Gloria replied with a smile, giving a little twirl to let the hem of her longer coat poof out for a moment like the skirt of a dress.

Eventually the line cleared out enough for them to enter the small store displaying the various types of equipment available for rental and purchase. Splitting up to look, they all quickly selected their preferred styles. It didn’t take long for most of them to reconvene near the counter, each carrying a fairly simple pair of skis. There was no need for the super high-grade stuff, none of them were professionals after all. When Raz came running back with a snowboard, none of them were really that surprised. Skis had seemed a bit boring for the boy’s exuberant personality to begin with. What did draw their shock however was when Fred came trotting up behind the young psychic, a long light blue board slung over his shoulder.

“Uh, mi amor, are you sure that’s what you meant to get?” Edgar asked, eyeing the board in equal parts confusion and concern, and Fred laughed in return.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry about it. Never said I had been using skis when I went someplace like this back in college. Always been useless with them. Snowboards were a different story though. Used to skateboard a lot back in high school too. Now let’s go see if I’ve still got any of that old muscle memory still rattling around.”

As a group that was inexperienced, and in some of their cases completely unfamiliar, with the equipment, getting into their rented pieces ended up a tad more challenging than intended. Boyd nearly poked himself in the eye with one of his poles and Raz promptly fell backwards into a snowdrift after figuring out how hook his boots into the board, but eventually they managed to get their nonsense together enough to try and get in line for the ski-lift that would take them up to the Black Slope.

Try being the key word.

Just as they were in the process of settling themselves at the back of the line, a slightly nervous voice called out behind them.

“Hmm, now I don’t claim to be an expert on skiing, but something tells me this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.”

Turning to look back, they found Loboto had not only somehow managed to put both of his skis on backwards, but was now also slowly sliding away from them down the slight decline, ski poles digging into the snow in an attempt to stop himself. Boyd, being the closest to him, darted out to try and grab the man, but missed his hand by a hair, and he began to pick up speed.

“Whoa! Look out there!”

Someone suddenly darted behind the former mad scientist, catching him by the shoulders and stopping his uncontrolled journey. As the person carefully pushed the man back up towards the group, they got a better look at them. It was a young man in his early 20’s, with pale skin and messy sandy blonde hair.

“There ya go!” He announced, settling the dentist back in front of the rest of the group and crouching. down to look at his skis.

“Ah, here’s your problem! Here, this should help.”

With deft fingers, he unhooked Loboto from the skis, flipped them around and had him step back in, hooking him securely into place.

“Uh, thank you. I’m a bit of a beginner.” The blue skinned villain thanked him, cheeks flushing the tiniest bit of dark blue in embarrassment, the younger man glancing over at the sign announcing the coming hill at his words.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly recommend this hill to someone still getting their snow legs, but I can’t fault you for wanting to jump into the challenge head first!” He replied with a merry laugh.

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be very careful. Thank you for your help, Mr...?” Gloria replied, the young man jumping to attention when he realized her pause was requesting and answer and reaching out a hand to shake.

“Oh, just call me Josh! A pleasure to meet you folks!”

He quickly exchanged handshakes with them all, Raz included, as the line to the chair lift drew shorter.

“You certainly seem to know your stuff.” Edgar complemented him, glancing over as Loboto turned his ankle this way and that to look at the ski mechanism in fascination.

“I would certainly hope so, considering all the years I’ve worked here! I know all the ins and outs like the back of my hand!”

“Well isn’t that wonderful. This seems like a splendid place to work.” Gloria replied with a smile.

“Oh it is, I couldn’t be luckier. Oh, looks like it’s you guys turn!”

Turning to look, they found the couple behind them settling into their chair on the lift, the next one incoming. As they stepped up to wait on it, Josh stepped away, giving them a wave as he turned to leave.

“Hopefully I see you guys around! If you’ve got any questions, just let me know. If want to know anything about the lodge or hills, I’m your guy!”

“We definitely will!” Fred called after him, the group raising their arms to wave back, before prepping to climb aboard the lift.

The benches ended up only being able to fit 3 people, so they ended up separated into two groups, Fred, Boyd and Edgar in the first chair, with Raz, Gloria and Caligosto grabbing the second. For the former, the ride up was honestly pretty pleasant and peaceful, the view from up so high showing them a beautiful vista.

“Wow, we really are up high huh?” Boyd, wondered out loud, glancing down over the side of the chair at the forest spread out below them.

“Si, we certainly are. Hmm, I wonder, is this the sort of view you normally have mi amor?” Edgar asked, looking at the lanky man between them with a cheeky smirk. Fred gave the painter an unamused look as on his other side Boyd let out a snorted laugh, breaking into giggles.

“Seriously? Your pulling out the tall guy jokes?”

With a grin and chuckle, the Hispanic man leaned up to give the taller man a peck on the cheek as their other partner leaned against his shoulder in a giggling fit.

“Apologies mi amor, I couldn’t resist.”

In the other chair however, things were going...less pleasantly.

Raz gazed down at the trees below as they rode along, humming some song the piano player in the lobby had been playing. Feeling something bump his leg, he glanced over, seeing Loboto’s legs jittering back and forth enough to jostle against him. Now that he thought about it, the whole man was shaking. Glancing up at the dentist’s face, he found the older man’s gaze fixed straight down at the ground. His hands were fisted in and tugging nervously at the strings of his ski hat (they’d all agreed the shower cap might be a bit too conspicuous), causing the large pop pom on top to bounce rhythmically. And judging by his harsh breathing, the guy was probably about 2 steps away from hyperventilating.

“Um, Loboto?” The young boy asked, seeming to snap the dentist out of his daze, at least partially, both he and Gloria looking over at him.

“Are you ok?”

“Now that I notice, you do seem a bit...tense, dear. Are you feeling alright?” Gloria added gently

“Oh, just fine! Happy as a clam! No reason at all to feel nervous!” He replied exuberantly, the smile on his face horribly forced, eyes darting to the drop below them every few seconds.

Raz stared at him, mind puzzling over the info. The slightly loony man was usually fairly fearless, sometimes to the point of his own peril. So what could have gotten him so stirred up?

Glancing down at the ground far below them, something suddenly clicked in the boy’s head. A memory rose to the front of his mind, one of a night at an asylum what seemed so long ago, and a certain dentist’s supposed demise at the hands of a turtle powered tank. Raz felt the pit of his stomach drop, guilt sweeping over him at the realization.

“Uh, hey, is there any way this about the time you...you know?” Raz asked gently, hand gestures miming the image of a person falling off something, and flinched when the man’s head snapped around to look at him, smile wide.

“What?! No, no, of course not!...Maybe...probably...” He replied, his vibrato visibly deflating as he tried his best not to look down.

“Oh, Loboto dear, it’s alright. There’s nothing to worry about.” Gloria fretted, catching onto the issue and reaching out to pat the blue man’s back.

“Yeah, these ski lifts are like, totally safe!” Raz exclaimed, in an attempt to help.

As though mocking them, the lift jerked for a moment, sending them swinging a bit. Loboto sucked in a sharp breath at the motion, hand instinctively tightening where it had been wrapped lightly around Raz’s forearm in a grip that would definitely be leaving bruises the next day. Gloria grimaced when she saw Raz wince, raising a hand to tap her chin in thought.

“Oh dear, well this isn’t good.”

After a moment an idea hit her, and she leaned over to catch the mad dentist’s gaze smiling gently.

“Loboto dear, have I ever told you about the first time I ever took to the stage?”

The man paused in his panicking, seeming to calm slightly as he gave her a confused look, Raz looking at her in equal confusion but seeming to roll with it.

“Um, not that I’m aware of?”

“Well, let me tell you. I’ve preformed on hundreds of stages of the years, all over the world. The theater was my lifeblood. But the first time I performed in front of people, oh, I was terrified.”

“R-Really?” The man replied, eyes widening.

“Oh, absolutely. It was the worst case of stage fright I ever felt. I was absolutely petrified. My palms were sweaty, my head was spinning. I completely froze up on stage. And that wasn’t the only time. No no, I’ve had stage fright hundreds of times in my career. I almost refused to go on stage for my own awards ceremony, I was so nervous. But let me tell you something very important I’ve learned.”

She leaned in close, taking the man’s hands gently in her own, both he and Raz leaning in in fascination.

“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Everyone fears something. I’m scared of messing up on stage, overwhelmingly so. Young Raz here has his own fears, as do you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being brave doesn’t mean the absence of fear. Anyone who says so is an idiot. No, to be brave is to look fear in the face and still continue on in spite of it.”

Leaning back, she looked out at the forest surrounding them.

“This really is a lovely view, isn’t it?”

“Yes...Yes I suppose it is.” The dentist replied quietly, gazing out at the landscape around them seemingly with new eyes. He still seemed nervous certainly, gaze fixed firmly on the horizon in an attempt not to look down, but his shaking had stopped and his breathing had steadied. From behind his back, Raz gave the actress two big thumbs up and a grin.

As they neared the peak of the hill, they could the others laughing about something in the chair ahead of them, quickly hurrying off of it to make room as they reached the landing. As soon as it was their turn, Loboto practically threw himself off the ski lift, clearly trying to reach Terra Firma as quickly as possible. Gloria and Raz followed at a more normal rate behind him, pausing for a moment when the boy looked up at her.

“Not gonna lie, that was kinda awesome.”

“Why thank you my dear.” She replied sweetly, before giving him a little grin and leaning in closer as she lowered her voice.

“I’ve had a lot of practice at that speech. You’d be amazed how many new actors and actresses get opening night jitters. Still works like a charm.”

Leaving the boy to sputter in surprise for a moment, she skied on to where the others were waiting at the hills peak.

“So, what’s the plan?” Fred asked, adjusting his feet in the snowboard as Raz caught back up with them.

“Keep together and keep our eyes out for anything suspicious I guess?” The boy replied with a shrug, earning a nod from the rest of the group.

“Sounds like a plan bud.”

After some quick adjustment of clothing, equipment and whatever else, they set off.

It became quickly apparent that none of them were even close to professional skiers, though some were faring better than others. Fred’s muscle memory did seem to be kicking in, handling his snowboard with surprisingly few complications, while Gloria’s seemingly natural graceful-ness was doing her skis well. Raz took a spill every now and them, but likewise, his acrobat training seemed to be translating pretty well to snow-sports.

The others weren’t faring quite as well. Edgar seemed to be developing a habit of falling over onto his back pretty often, his large upper body pulling him over whenever he began to lose his balance, while Boyd seemed to be having the opposite problem, having taken more than a few headers face first into the snow already. Loboto was surprisingly staying up pretty well, perhaps his long legs were to blame for his better balance, but every few second he would begin to weave wildly back and forth on the slope before correcting himself, only for the cycle to repeat again shortly thereafter. The whole lot of them were certainly getting a lot of curious looks from the more advanced skiers that would occasionally pass them, the occasional trail guard they passed seeming even more concerned.

With all the chaos, it’s a wonder any of them ever saw anything.

“Whoa, wait everybody!” Raz suddenly cried about halfway down the trail, skidding to a sudden stop. He was nearly bowled over by the others in their attempts to stop, Edgar managing to fall onto his back once more and slid a few feet past him with an exasperated sigh.

“Dios mio, this is becoming tiring. What’s the matter mi amigo?”

“Look at those trees over there.” He replied, pointing to part of the forest that lined either side of the path. Glancing to where he pointed, they spotted what he seemed to be gesturing to. A swath of low branches in a certain area were snapped and bent, as though something had run into them or pulled them out of the way.

“Yeah, that definitely looks like it could be something.” Boyd replied with the critical eye of a security guard, the whole group moving off the path and towards the woodland to examine them. Upon closer inspection, there was most definitely something amiss. While the branches closer to the path broke inwards towards the forest, others further in seemed to break outwards.

“Hey, what’s that?” Raz asked, squinting further into the woodland. Unhooking himself from the snowboard, he darted further into the trees, moving to the edge of the breakage, and crouching down, seemingly digging around near one large trees roots. After a moment he seemed to free whatever he was holding and started back in the others direction.

“Look at this guys.”

He held it up for them to see, the group leaning in for a closer look. It seemed to be a long scrap of torn fabric, patterned in thick, alternating purple and black stripes, with a flash of gold along one edge.

“What do you guys think it is?” Boyd asked in bewilderment, squinting at the piece. Beside him, Edgar gave a sudden small gasp.

“Wait, didn’t that bartender say that Señorita Pandor wore a jacket in these colors?”

The group gapped at him for a moment before turning back to the scrap with renewed interest.

“Holy hell guys, I think we just found an actual clue.” Fred sputtered in amazement, Raz’s eyes lighting up.

“Hey maybe there’s more stuff to find back there! Come on, let’s go look!” the boy crowed, moving to run back into the trees.

He didn’t get very far though, as the wind suddenly kicked up, nearly knocking him over as it ripped through the trees with a swirl of snow.

“Geeze, I though trees were good for avoiding wind. Come on!”

He tried to take a few more steps forwards, only to get knocked back by another gust, being forced to take a few steps back to the group this time. Quickly the wind began to build, howling around the lot of them and kicking up the snow into near white out conditions.

“Damn, they’ve got some crazy weather in these parts!” Boyd called over the noise, Fred replying as he threw up his arms as much as he could to block his face.

“Not the sort I’ve ever seen before!”

“Wait.”

They all quieted, turning to look over Loboto, who was currently looking around in confusion.

“Now, I may have been called crazy one or twice in the past, but does anyone else hear something odd?”

The group stilled, listening hard over the wind. All at the same time, they seemed to catch it, Fred glancing around the group in sudden nervousness.

“Does that sound like growling to anyone else?”

Indeed, the sound mixed in amongst the howling of the wind was much deeper and guttural, rumbling through the air.

Crack

They all froze at the loud sound of splintering wood, all slowly turning in unison to look deeper into the woods. A shape appeared through the blur of snow, the growling growing louder and the shape becoming clearer as it drew towards them. Eventually it stopped at the edge of the broken branches and their hearts all collectively stopped as they made out what it was.

A massive beast, easily 8 or 9 feet tall, bipedal, and clothed in long white hair, only it’s slightly darker face and palms peeking out through the thick fur. For a long, drawn-out moment, there was nothing but the howling of the wind. The only thing to interrupt it was a tiny, likely instinctual whisper from Raz.

“Holy shit.”

The beast didn’t seem to like that very much and its growl deepened. With one massive hand, it reached up and tore a branch from the tree beside it with the sound of screeching wood, before reaching back and hurling it at the group. With a collective cry of surprise and panic they all managed to throw themselves out of the way of it, the large chunk of wood landing amongst the other broken branches nearby. Its failure seemed to enrage the beast even more and it reached down, clawing and tearing a truly gargantuan chunk of snow up out of the ground. It lifted it up and above its head, clearly reeling back to launch it at them, and Raz let out another, this time very foreign sounding, curse.

“Oh, that looks like a real bad time! Boyd! I’m gonna need some help!”

With that, the boy darted out in front of the rest of the group, the security guard seeming to pick up on his plan and following along behind him. Just as the beast hurled the massive snowball, Raz threw his hands up to conjure a psychic shield, Boyd’s own hands joining just beside his to release a spray of flame outside the barrier just as it contacted.

The snow clump exploded around them. Most of it dissolved into steam under the sudden onslaught of the fire, what remained splattering against the curved wall of psychic force in a spray of water and slush, flying off on either side of the group.

“Where is it?! Can anybody see what it’s doing?!” Raz called out, trying to squint through the cloud of steam now surrounding them.

“I don’t know, I can’t see!” Boyd replied, waving his hands to put out the small flames sparking on his gloves.

As the steam was cleared by the slowly calming wind, Raz blinked in surprise at the scene before him, shield disappearing as he lowered his hands.

The beast had vanished, seemingly into thin air.

For a moment they all simply sat there, most of the group having fallen to the ground in the scramble to get out of harm’s way, the air thick with unspoken disbelief. Till finally, Fred said what they’d all been thinking.

“Was that a goddamn yeti???”

“In my professional dentist opinion...yes.” Loboto replied, staring equally slack jawed at the spot.

“What?? Where did it go?? A beast that big does not simply disappear into thin air??” Edgar sputtered, clambering back to his feet as though a higher viewpoint would somehow reveal the 9 foot tall creatures hiding place.

“I...I don’t...-“

“Oi! What are you lot doing back there!?”

The whole group let out a collection of shrieks and yelps at the sudden shout, whipping around to look behind them.

An older man armed with a hefty walking stick stood at the edge of the ski trail, staring into the woods at them with a grumpy scowl on his face.

“Wha- who are you?!” Raz asked, at a loss for words, and the old man’s expression seemed to sour even further.

“Ambrose. I’m the grounds keeper here. And I should be asking you the same thing!”

“Did...Did you see...?” Boyd asked, dazed by his seeming unconcern for the fucking yeti that had been in front of them 20 seconds before. The old man leaned to glance at the place he was gesturing to, brow creasing.

“See? I don’t see anything. All I see is a bunch of troublemakers putzing about in the woods. Get out of there! You’re supposed to stay on the trail!”

Like a bunch of scolded children, they all quickly gathered themselves and scurried back out onto the path in front of the man, who pointed an angry finger at them.

“Now don’t let me go catchin you messing about in there again, understood?”

They all obediently nodded and, seemingly satisfied, he turned away with a nod, grumbling the likes of “people these days” as he slowly hiked further up the path.

“...Ok, so we’re all in agreement that we gotta tell the rest of the gang about that right?” Fred asked, seemingly still dumbfounded, and was answered by a chorus of nods.

The rest of the trip down the hill was largely uneventful. Somehow, an encounter with a mythical creature has seemingly improved their snow-sports skills, and they managed not to have any more major spills on the rest of the way down the mountain. The sun was setting by the time they reached the bottom and, after getting their equipment situated, the six ventured back through the main lodge in search of their three companions.

They did eventually find them back in the lounge, tucked away in a corner table with their drinks.

“Ah, hello everyone!” Milla greeted them with a smile and wave as they made their way over.

“Did you have a good day out on the slopes?”

“Uh, yeah, it was, uh, pretty, pretty good.” Fred replied, sharing a look with others.

“How’s about you guys?”

Sasha gestured for them to sit, voice lowered as he spoke.

“Well, we looked over Ms. Pandor’s room and it was just as empty as we’d been told. Not a trace of her. The only things we found was the Psychonauts bug she put in the rooms phone when she got here. Which means that she likely didn’t leave willingly, if she didn’t have the chance to remove it. That or she simply forgot it when she left.”

“Yeah, and that sort of absentminded-ness doesn’t sound like her. Girl might leave her workspace a mess, but I’ve been on missions with her before, and she’s a neat freak when it comes to hotels and stuff. All the tidying she does, she probably leaves them cleaner than it was when she got there. Gotta ask her if she’s got some sort of service industry trauma from college or something...” Oleander added, trailing off into rambling at the end.

“So did you six find anything out on the slopes?”

The group glanced at each other and eventually it was Gloria who haltingly began, realizing just how insane what she was about to say was going to sound.

“Well, there may have been a bit of an incident out on the trails...”

“We got attacked by a yeti!” Raz suddenly blurted, bringing the conversation to a screeching halt. Sasha turned to look at him with a truly flummoxed expression, seemingly completely thrown for a loop at the boys’ words.

“...R...Run that by me again??”

“Well, it’s a bit of a long story.” Boyd replied with a sigh.

It took quite a while to explain the events that had befallen them all, added to by the fact that dinner arrived in the middle of it, but eventually they got the whole incident out in the open, the three senior agents staring at them in bewilderment by the end.

“Are you sure it wasn’t some sort of polar bear or something? Those things can get big as hell when they’re on their hind legs.” Oleander offered and Gloria shook her head.

“Now I know how this all sounds, Agent Oleander, but we know what we saw, and that was most definitely not a bear.”

“Plus, we found this!” Raz added, reaching into his jacket and pulling out the fabric scrap, handing it over to the trio.

“The bartender we talked to said he saw her wearing a coat like that!”

“Well, I’ll admit, this definitely looks like Tanny’s sorta style.” Oleander admitted with a shrug, handing it over to Sasha to look at.

“Regardless of what this beast you saw might be, there is most definitely more going on here than a simple wayward agent.” The german acquiesced.

“Well, how’s about we all get a good night sleep and continue the investigation tomorrow. You all must be exhausted.” Milla offered kindly and Edgar gave a groan as he stretched, back popping loudly.

“After the beating we took out there, you don’t know the half of it Ms. Milla.”

Luckily for them, their rooms at the lodge were, just like the rest of the property, amazing. They’d been separated across 4 adjacent, and connected, rooms, with the senior agents sharing one and the former asylum members another, leaving Loboto and Raz to bunk solitarily. Their mother organization had, knowing and being blessedly supportive all sorts of relationships, even been kind enough to book the four a California King, while Sasha, Milla and Oleander were more than happy to settle for a King.

“Ugh, we literally just started doing spy stuff and I already feel like an old man waiting for retirement.” Fred groaned, stretching and feeling some muscle in his back twinge.

“Hehe, implying you aren’t already an old man.” Edgar teased him with a chuckle from where he was kneeling in massage position over the lanky man’s hips, his own aching back already having been kindly tended to by Gloria before her bath.

“Hey, keep up that talk and I’ll have to revoke smooching privileges.” The counselor shot back, pointing a finger over his shoulder threateningly at the larger man, even as he melted blissfully beneath he ministrations of the artist’s talented hands. Edgar finally managed to work out the last knot at the base of the man’s spine and Fred gave a little groan of relief, going boneless on the mattress beneath him.

“You boys better not be having too much fun in there without me!” Gloria called from the bathroom and Edgar laughed, smoothing his hands lovingly up and down the thinner man’s back a few times before climbing off him.

“Alright, all done. Time to move mi amor.”

Fred gave a little grumble that sounded a lot like “Sleepy. Don’t wanna.” and the painter rolled his eyes fondly, grabbing him and, like an owner with a lazy puppy, simply dragged him out of the way, patting the spot that opened up.

“Your turn.” He called over to Boyd, who’d been looking out onto the rooms snow covered balcony that overlooked the lodge’s main square, and the guard abandoned his post with a grin.

“Oh thank goodness.” He replied, shucking his shirt off and flopping onto the bed with a sigh, sending the nearby Fred bouncing slightly. He gave another grateful sigh as he folded his arms beneath his head and Edgar set to work.

“Damn, today was a crazy day. The more I think about it the less it makes sense.” He mused, earning a snorted laugh from a slightly more awake Fred as the man reached out to run a sleepy hand through the guard’s hair.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Well, I must admit, I find it all a little bit exciting.”

The three men glanced back to find Gloria emerging from the large bathroom, dressed in a fluffy towel and currently braiding her long damp hair.

“Yes, there’s a been a bit of danger I suppose, but what adventure doesn’t have some danger?”

“Sure as hell beats grading papers at least.” Fred agreed, earning a collective laugh.

“Would you like one when I’m done, mi bella?” Edgar asked, gesturing to the massage in progress, and Gloria shook her head, stooping down to give him a kiss on the cheek regardless.

“No, but it’s sweet of you to ask.”

Soon enough they all found themselves properly prepared for bed, lights flipped off, and beneath the plush covers of the bed, tangling together in the warm heap they’d so quickly become accustomed to.

“Goodnight you guys. Love you.” Fred murmured sleepily, answered by a small chorus of similar sentiments.

Before long, the four found themselves drifting off, eager to see what new, and potentially yeti-related, adventures awaited them in the morning.

#psychonauts #psychonautssecretsanta2020 #you guys wanna split a cab #lobotoly #calimorry #sasha/milla/oleander #god knows what their actual ship name is #razputin aquato #sasha nein #milla vodello #morceau oleander #caligosto loboto #gloria von gouton #edgar teglee #boyd cooper #fred bonaparte #Plus a whole mess of OC's #secret santa #My writing

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prinxlyart · 5 years ago

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You seem to be doing alright? So I wanted to ask if you had any tips on just, *being* with adhd? I’m kinda struggling with it and I sort of don’t know... anything really of how to deal with... the future? Doing work? A lotta ‘adult’ stuff. It’s a really wide question ik but no pressure, feel free to answer however you can, thanks!

Bold of you to assume I’m alright in any aspect.

Nah but you’re fine!!! This might turn into a doozy so imma put it under a read more ✌️

No joke I was severely depressed and suicidal throughout middle and high school for this exact reason. It wasn’t until several years afterwards that I finally came to terms with the concept of just living for me, not capitalism, not my parents, not the job system, not society’s expectations, etc. Because our society isn’t built for people with ADHD, or any disabilities for that matter. Of course, I kept my rationale with that mindset; can’t just give up on my daily life and go live in the woods. I accept that I live in a capitalist society and require a job in order to provide for myself. But I do try my best to find jobs that actually interest me as well as paying me well enough to provide for myself.

I didn’t do therapy or anything (because the mental health “professionals” at the hospital/medical centers are all dinguses). But I DO take anti depressants and that has changed my life. It keeps the depression from settling in too deeply, even when I’m under-stimulated.

Being under-stimulated when you have ADHD is essentially like depression (they often go hand in hand); absolutely nothing able to keep your happy chemicals up or your interest piqued and it’s like you’re just reaching blindly into the void for something to latch on to. It really fucking sucks. At least with my anti-depressants, that gross feeling just sort of remains as an uncomfortable buzzing rather than turning into self-hatred. Medication isn’t always for everyone, but I know in my experience it has helped me dramatically.

I do take ADHD medication while I work from home (I’m lucky enough to have found a job that lets me do so ;v;) but I’m actually still just doing trial and error with those. They often times actually DONT help me focus and rather just send me into panic attacks at the slightest suggestion of rejection from anyone (rejection sensitivity is a bitch and a half). So I’m still experimenting with actual ADHD medication.

In terms of making art with ADHD, that’s actually kind of a benefit rather than a detriment. My current hyperfixation is The Owl House, so in order to fill my heart with the content I want, I draw like crazy, I write fanfic (like a fucking monster, I write it in the notes on my phone 😆). I allow my brain to wander and just letting my brain do what it wants relieves a lot of the stress of trying to keep myself together according to Society’ Standards™️ for the day.

As far as “adult stuff”, I genuinely am still figuring it out myself. For more urgent things, it’s something I’ll try to tackle while it’s on my mind in that moment, because the moment I even turn my head a different direction I’ll forget what it was I was going to do. For non urgent things I try to set up reminders, either on my phone or by putting a physical object near me(paper reminders I get in the mail, etc). The latter doesn’t always work because it’s quite often that it’ll just blend into the background mess of my life, but sometimes it works and I don’t know why. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anything in terms of regular payments? (Rent, bills, etc) I set up an autopay if it allows me to that sends me notifications any time the due date rolls around. I get a text every month from my phone service provider letting me know that I’ve paid my bill. Same with auto insurance and things of that nature. That way I don’t even need to think about it, I just need to make sure I have enough money in my account to let those auto payments go through.

Lastly, I try my absolute hardest to stay positive, or at least try to curate my life experience to avoid unnecessary negativity. I don’t do drama, I don’t do internet fights, I just sit here in my little corner and enjoy the things I like and share it with anyone that’s interested.

2020 alone has been hell and while it’s important to stay informed on everything that’s happening, and helping in any way you can, it’s also important to remember that you don’t need to be on that particular grind 24/7. It’s okay to take breaks from the dreariness of the world to allow yourself to indulge in things that make you happy.

***** DISCLAIMER***** I am in no way, shape, or form a medical professional and please take all of this with a grain of salt. This has been my personal experience with ADHD as someone who has received no actual real help for my ADHD as I’ve grown up. I was diagnosed when I was 7 and never got any help from my parents or medical professionals to figure out what ADHD means and how it affected my learning career, or figure out what methods of learning would work better for me. These are all just my methods of coping/working with my ADHD. I hope this answers your question!!

#prinxly inquiries #anonymous #adhd #mental health #this one’s a long one yall #just a heads up #another aspect of adhd: fucking rambling instead of getting to the point

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featuringthecreature · 4 years ago

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The Best and Worst Things About Each MCU Movie

These are all just my stinky opinions. You are allowed to disagree, you are allowed to agree. Most of these are jokes anyway. I’m honestly just happy you’re reading this. Minor Spoilers Ahead!

Iron Man (2008) -

Best: This movie almost perfectly sets the tone for the entire universe that has at that point yet to have been created. Looking back, you can imagine the feeling of “Where are they going to go from here?” and I think that’s one of the most important things that this movie needed to accomplish.

Worst: What the fuck is Jeff Bridges doing? What’s his endgame here? I get he’s trying to take over Stark Industries but how’s he gonna do that from inside that giant metal suit he uses to kill people inside their cars?

Incredible Hulk (2008) -

Best: Tim Roth is in it and I think that is pretty cool.

Worst: I haven’t actually seen it, but the cgi looks god awful, what the hell.

Iron Man 2 (2010) -

Best: Sam Rockwell is so goddamn annoying in this movie and I think that’s amazing, he’s such a little stinker.

Worst: I remember basically nothing else about this movie except some guy talking about birds, idk.

Thor (2011) -

Best: It introduces Loki, probably one of the most beloved villains in the entire franchise.

Worst: This movie is so goddamn boring and it’s my least favorite and I hate it. Don’t @ me.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) -

Best: The first good chunk of this movie is actually a really compelling character study on Steve Rogers and what makes him a good man. Seeing him basically being paraded as this propaganda figure and watching him struggle with this is one of the most compelling things about him as a person. Really wish they kept this up for the entire movie.

Worst: The red skull is really boring guys. He’s red, that’s it. Give me something else to work with man.

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012) -

Best: This movie proved that you can have a superhero team up with this many people and have it fucking work. It doesn’t matter if you hate or love this movie, you cannot deny the effects it has on the genre.

Worst: It’s shot like a bad CW show. It looks so ugly.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Best: This one is actually my favorite of the bunch. Exploring the question of what makes Iron Man, the suit or the person, is shown really well here. I thoroughly dig it.

Worst: That scene where Harley flip flops about whether or not he really knows Tony makes me so irrationally angry.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Best: It’s slightly better than Thor, and I actually can feel myself start to have a good time whenever Loki’s on screen.

Worst: Once again, this movie is insanely forgettable. Christopher fucking Eccleston is in this movie and I could not tell you a single thing about this character.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) -

Best: This movie has one of the best hand-to-hand fight scenes in the entire MCU. You know the one I’m talking about. It gives me chills, I love it.

Worst: Having the government stand-in that Steve questions in the beginning of the movie actually be a front for N*zis that he can just beat up, and not an actual metaphor for the issues with the government today? You ain’t slick.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 1 (2014) -

Best: This is the mcu movie basically anyone can enjoy. Anybody can watch this movie and find something to love about it. The characters, the messages about family and learning to be okay with feeling love, the jokes, hell, even the space setting. THE MUSIC. It’s the full package baby.

Worst: Chris Pratt has an unfortunate cameo in this one.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) -

Best: I have a couple of things. A) The party scene where we get to watch the Avengers talk and be friends with each other and act like people. B) I love James Spader no matter what he is doing.

Worst: Why is everyone quipping? Why is the robot quipping? Why would they massacre my boy like that?

Ant-man (2015) -

Best: I want Paul Rudd to marry me, best dad in the mcu.

Worst: The moment Edgar Wright left this project.

Captain America: Civil War (2016) -

Best: Introduces two great characters, Spider-man and Black Panther. These two get a lot of love when it comes to designing their characters in this movie and it makes me very happy.

Worst: It made the fandom very unhappy and I don’t like picking sides. It feels like watching your many parents get divorced for two hours.

Doctor Strange (2016) -

Best: The magic looks really fucking cool in this movie. Also, the ending with Dormammu is up there for one of my favorite endings of an mcu movie. Having Doctor Strange actually outsmart the villain instead of actually fighting him is endlessly more satisfying.

Worst: Could not tell you a thing else about this movie other than I heard Tilda Swinton plays a character that’s probably not supposed to be white.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) -

Best: Guys, I gotta come clean about something. I actually like this one better than Volume 1. I know, I know, a good majority of people do not feel this way, but I feel a lot more emotionally attached to the movie, and that’s mainly because of two characters: Yondu Udonta and Rocket Racoon. Rocket realizing that he’s an asshole but his found family still loves him gets me, man. I can’t help it. Helps that Ego is a great villain as well. Also the cinematography is some of the best in the mcu.

Worst: No Howard the Duck.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) -

Best: I think the best thing about this movie is just the solidness of it all. No one part stands out as the best because most everything about this movie is pretty damn good. Michael Keaton will knock your socks off, go watch it.

Worst: Donald Glover is in it to tease a Miles Morales reveal, BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED ABOUT IT SINCE.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) -

Best: Taika Waititi knows how to do shit right, lemme tell ya. Taking away Thor’s hammer from the beginning was probably one of the smartest choices in the movie, and this is a movie of smart choices.

Worst: Jeff Goldblum isn’t in it more.

Black Panther (2018) -

Best: Erik Killmonger is easily the best villain in a Marvel movie, and you can quote me on that. An amazing performance from Michael B. Jordan. It’s also the first Marvel movie I saw in theatres (I know, I was very late to the game)

Worst: Everett K. Ross is CIA propaganda and the last fight scene on the train tracks looks like shit.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) -

Best: It’s really hard to sum up exactly what my thoughts are on this movie. I think one of the movie’s best qualities is the bigness of it. This movie feels huge, there’s a lot of different stuff to love here. If you like Wakanda, there’s a whole epic battle set in Wakanda. If you’re more a fan of the space stuff, we got a whole lotta space stuff. The best part of this movie is there’s probably gonna be something that everyone can enjoy packed in here.

Worst: I also think the bigness of this movie is also one of it’s larger weaknesses. Because there’s so much stuff in this movie, not all of it is fully fleshed out. Tony Stark gets a lot to do in this movie, but Steve Rogers sort of feels sidelined at parts. There’s a perfect balance that I don’t think was quite hit.

Ant-man and The Wasp (2018) -

Best: I still really love Paul Rudd in this movie, and I think his relationship with Cassie is still really cute. World’s Greatest Grandma indeed.

Worst: This movie really had its work cut out for itself, coming off the heels of Infinity War, so it sort of falls short in that respect. I don’t want to criticize it too harshly, it is what it is, nothing insanely memorable.

Captain Marvel (2019) -

Best: I still think this is a pretty good movie, despite what a lot of people think. I struggle a lot with believing that I have to prove myself to others, so having Carol finally realize that she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone was really important to me, and probably a lot of other women.

Worst: There were parts where I wasn’t as engaged, like the scenes in the Kree empire. That made some of the movie feel off to me, it’s a bit unbalanced.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) -

Best: This movie 100% achieves what it sets out to do, and that is to be a huge cinematic event. I don’t even really see this movie as a movie, it’s more like one huge experience. My viewing had one of the most energetic crowds I’ve ever seen a movie with.

Worst: I don’t really think this movie holds up to multiple re-watches. Granted, I saw it in theatres three times. I don’t think any subsequent viewings are ever going to pack that same punch that my first viewing had, and that makes it harder to come back to. Also Steve had a totally lame ending.

Spider-man: Far From Home (2019) -

Best: After ending on such a downer note in the last movie, this felt like a weight being lifted off my chest. Jake Gyllenhaal gives an insanely energetic performance that I absolutely adore. (Also seeing it with my dad was fun, he would nudge me every time they switched locations to tell me he’d been there)(Also when I saw it with my sibling a kid ran out of the theatre during the Mysterio mind-fuck sequence, some just can’t handle that lifestyle)

Worst: Peter Parker and MJ remind me of how perpetually single I am.

#movie review #minor spoilers #mcu #marvel #marvel review

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nev3rfound · 6 years ago

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a pact for her : avengers

brief summary: being the youngest avenger in the compound and going on holiday with everyone. whilst away each avenger decides to give you a piece of a normal teenage life, something you’ll never get to truly have.

word count: 2.3k requested: yes, by @ineedmorefanfics - thank you love for the idea! warnings: none that i’m aware of

* masterlist of sorts *

so this is my first piece that isn’t dedicated to one avenger. I hope you like it! also I know there is a lot of requests currently, and I have seen them all and have planned most of them. annoyingly I have rsi in my left hand and wrist from writing all night, going to work and repeating this at least six days a week. it will take a bit longer to finish everything as i’m in a lotta pain with it, but it will happen!

“I think it’s time we take her on a trip.” Tony turns to Steve as they watch from outside of the room as you sit surrounded by ash and smoke whilst you clutch your hands close to your chest. “Kid’s clearly burning herself out,”

“Quite literally.” Steve comments as he recalls moments ago, the entire room you were in was in a blaze. You were just trying to spark, but it got out of hand and you lost all control of your powers.

Sitting perfectly still, you were used to the disappointment you caused, it was an automatic response you associated yourself with. It wasn’t because you were a bad person, you were just a kid with an ability unlike any other.

Fire was always fearful and having the power to manipulate and control it was more frightening. But what made it worse is not knowing how to actually control it, which is what led you to the compound.

Since you arrived it hadn’t been an easy journey. You were still reserved, afraid to open up about yourself amongst powerful humans and gods alike. Despite being one of them, you felt alien in their environment.

Over the course of the months since you arrived, Tony has been trying to talk to you, get to know you a bit better. There wasn’t much of an age gap between you and Peter, but you were a closed off girl, the complete opposite experience he had with Peter who couldn’t keep his mouth shut if he wanted to.

“Where were you thinking of taking her?” Steve turns back to face Tony who focuses on you as you slowly rise to your feet.

As always you’re nervous to look around, look at the damage you’ve created despite the space being designed for you.

“I was thinking Bali.” Tony shrugs his shoulders as Steve scoffs lightly. “What? You’re not feeling Bali?”

Steve slowly shakes his head. “Tony, the kid doesn’t need a lavish break, she needs company.” Crossing his arms, Steve catches your gaze as you continue to shake inside of the room, coughing up smoke. “I say we go on a road trip.”

Opening the door to assist you, Steve leaves the thought hanging in Tony’s mind. “What are we? Students?” Tony thinks aloud as the door closes behind Steve and he walks off, allowing you to be safe in Steve’s strong embrace.

“We’re doing what now?” Sam asks as Steve and Tony stand in front of everyone, you included as you curl up on the end of the sofa.

“A road trip!” Steve smiles brightly as he looks around at everyone, but you turn to glance at Bucky who keeps a straight face.

“What’s with the weird look on your face?” You motion to Steve’s overbearing smile and he slowly tones it down. “That’s an improvement.” You mutter and the sound of soft laughter follows from a few of the Avengers, something you haven’t yet heard.

“And where are we going?” Natasha speaks up as she leans back into the sofa, looking between the two men who remain unsure of how to respond.

“Could see where the road takes us.” Bruce suggests and you chuckle under your breath. “Or not?”

“Sorry,” You mumble an apology. “you just sounded like my hippie dad.”

No one spoke up as your statement remained in the air around all of you. Not once have you opened up about your family, there was so much about you that was still unknown by the Avengers and deep down, it broke their hearts.

“Wherever we go, we leave tomorrow. So pack a bag, we’ll be gone a week.” Tony claps his hands as he leaves the room and slowly one by one, you all follow you.

Except you hang back, and as Natasha goes to leave she turns back, seeing you perfectly still. “You alright, Y/n?” She calls out, but you remain still, not responding.

Walking back toward you, Natasha notices the worry in your expression and slowly sits down beside you. “I’ve never been on a holiday like this before,” You admit, meeting her gaze as she reaches out, resting her hand on yours. “I mean, my parents took me and my sister to Disney, but we were under five so I don’t remember it.”

Natasha simply nods along, taking all of this in and not wanting to interrupt you, not now when you were finally opening up.

“What was your family like?” She quietly asks you and patiently waits as you look off outside at the dark skies.

A small smile crosses your lips as your vision refocuses on Natasha. “They cared a lot, but always got angry at me for setting fire to things.” Recalling the days when you were bullied by your family whilst you cried, distinguishing the flames. “They didn’t understand me and I didn’t either,” Trailing off, Natasha notices the tears building in your eyes. “guess I still don’t.”

Wiping your eyes, you sniff quietly not wanting to return to that image in your mind, the day you lost full control and lost them all because of your actions.

Hesitantly, Natasha lifts her hand up and rests it on your back. A small motion to notify you she is there. You respond with a small nod, simply leaving it at that before you rise to your feet and head out of the room, knowing you’ve got a bag to pack.

Opening the door the breeze hits you as the salty smell hits your nostrils. It was something unknown, but a pleasant change from the dirty air in the city.

Tony walks ahead, holding his arms up as he approaches a large cabin. “This beauty is our home for the next three days.” He stands in front of the cabin that sits on the cusp of the beach.

“All of us? In there?” Bucky looks around, mentally counting all of you in comparison to the cabin. The logistics didn’t make sense, and the confusion was evident in his expression as Tony sighs.

“Yes, Tinman. You’ll double up. Make your choices later if you must, I don’t care who goes with who.” Tony turns back around, unlocking the front door as we all walk in, admiring the structure as we place our bags down.

You look around, noticing a few of the Avengers already agreeing to share a room with another. Fear begins to swell your eyes as you realise you’ll be the odd one out, the person forced to be someone’s burden.

“Hey, Y/n?” Wanda smiles as she stands beside you, her hands resting in her pockets. “Wanna share with me?” She asks with purity, something you really needed to hear as you nod in response.

As you follow Wanda with your bag in hand, Natasha nudges Steve lightly motioning to the sight before them. “She’s learning,” Natasha mutters as she smiles, seeing you perfectly relaxed for the first time. “I’ve got an idea.”

“I don’t mind taking the bed by the door if you want the window?” Wanda places her bag down on the bed as you hover behind her, shyness covering your bright attitude yet to make an appearance.

“If you’re sure. Who knows, might need me to jump outta the window if I set fire to anything,” Uneasily you joke, but when you look to Wanda she isn’t staring at you in fear, she chuckles in response.

“Whatever you say, Y/n.” Wanda jokes back, making you feel less apprehensive about being honest as you both unpack.

Later that day you were just sat in your room with Wanda when Natasha walks in. She held a bag in her hand and a smile on her face. “Thought we could have some girl time since we can actually relax for a few days.” She suggests and Wanda nods immediately, tying her hair back whilst you shyly nod. “What’d you say, Y/n? Down for a fun makeover?”

“Sure.” You respond with a shrug of your shoulder, still not entirely sure what you were getting yourself into.

After an hour of gentle brushes gliding along your face, the minty smell of Natasha’s breath and shared laughter between the three of you, the makeup was done. “Gotta say, it’s my finest work.” Natasha leans back and reaches for a mirror before passing it to you.

Holding the mirror you looked at the girl in the reflection. You could tell it was you, but she was enhanced in all the right ways. Her face glowed, the scars were concealed and the colour of her eyes was more vivid than ever before. Her smile grew in the reflection, and you turn to see Natasha and Wanda perfectly content with their work.

“I, I love it.” You stutter as you place the mirror down. “Thank you.”

“So when you breathe in and breathe out slowly okay?” Bruce was sat beside you as you both remained quiet, focusing on your breathing. “The idea is to learn control, realise when things are out of hand. The first step is to focus on your heart rate, learn to bring it back down. Then control your breathing, don’t let fear consume everything.” Bruce speaks from experience as you close your eyes, listening to him talk as you do exactly as he says.

“I feel calm.” You speak up and Bruce opens one eye, seeing small flames sparking on your fingertips.

“There something else worrying you, Y/n?” He asks quietly, averting his attention from the small sparks that continue to flicker.

You can feel it, you always can. “I’m not sure,” You truly admit as you try to focus on your breathing, but it’s becoming more difficult. “I, I’m always thinking, I can’t shut it all off.”

Opening his eyes Bruce rises to his feet, seeing flames covering your hands. He knows it doesn’t hurt, but he can see the pain as you scrunch your face, you’re trapped in your thoughts.

“It’s alright, just listen to my voice okay. Pull yourself out of there, I know there doesn’t seem to be a way out but there is. Can you see an exit?” Bruce asks you softly and you slowly nod. “Good, good. Go towards that exit, and open your eyes.”

Seeing a small corridor of light in your mind you rise from the soil that sits on top of you and begin to run. You can see fire lining the hallways of your mind, but you shut them out and charge to this light.

Within seconds you open your eyes, breathing heavily as you reach out and hold Bruce’s arm. The flames are distinguished, but there’s more in there, more underlying issues that one meditation session won’t cover.

“I don’t think this is for me, Bruce.” You curl your legs underneath you and rise to your feet. “Asking me to shut everything out and zone out isn’t something I’m fully ready for.” Turning away you didn’t want to disappoint Bruce, but it was the truth. There were some things you just aren’t ready to face just yet, one of them being your own subconscious.

To distract you after meditation or lack of with Bruce, Tony decided to take you out shopping. He had no idea what you liked as you wore mostly the same thing most of the time, but he thought if you could see something else, maybe you’ll like it.

“How about that dress?” Tony motions to a sunflower dress on the rack and holds it up whilst you glance over.

You couldn’t deny it was pretty, and it was different for you. “It is nice.” You reply as you step closer.

“I’ll put it in the basket.” Tony states as he puts it in the basket without a second of hesitation, not allowing you to argue back. “If you like it, kid I’m getting it. No arguments are happening today.” He tells you as you both continue wandering from store to store.

“Why is everyone being so nice to me?” You ask as you leave another store with a bag filled with clothes. “Like I get I’m new, but I doubt every Avenger got this kinda welcome pack.” You joke and Tony smiles down to you as you continue walking.

“Thing is, we’ve all known family in some form. Whether our family is gone, left behind, not relevant or current, we’ve all had that. We had the chance to live a normal life before this version of ourselves.

Nodding along you pause. “And I didn’t.” You speak up and Tony sighs lightly.

“Exactly. We just wanted to give you a few days out of it all for you to be a teenager. Not have to think about everything for a while which is something we all need now and then.” Patting your back lightly you smile to Tony, feeling at ease with yourself.

“Thank you, Tony.” You softly tell him as you begin to smile.

“Come on, can’t get all soppy in public I’ve got a reputation to keep up.”

It was your last night and everyone insisted on going to the Carnival. There were rides, food that would make you sick and the atmosphere you could fully immerse yourself in.

You ran along with Steve, laughing as you reached the top of the ride. “Ready for this, Steve?” You ask him as you pant lightly before taking a potato sack and sitting inside of it.

“As I’ll ever be.” He responds as you two begin to head down the helter-skelter.

Laughter sounds from you as you lift your arms up, your hair flying in Steve’s face as everyone below watches with pure joy. “She’s actually happy.” Natasha mutters to Tony who admires the sight like a proud Father.

“I think we’ll be okay.” Tony turns back to Natasha, telling her with a faint smile as you walk over.

“Did you see me? I went flying down that and and Steve said he’d buy cotton candy even if it rots your teeth!” Joyfully you bounced off, running toward another ride as Bucky and Sam trail behind you.

“She’s a part of this family now, we’ve got her back.” Steve stands alongside Tony and Natasha, watching you finally letting yourself go, allowing yourself to be apart of the family.

#this was cute #bit different #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers au #avengers imagines #avengers writing #avengers x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #marvel writing #marvel #marvel fluff

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mercuriallycooperative · 5 years ago

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Doom flags at her heels, Katarina really has a lot going on

(slight arc one spoilers, slight arc later spoilers, lotta long rambling thoughts)

So I’ve been keeping up with the manga for quite awhile and then remembered the light novels exist and then discovered the anime is existing and then realized “oh this is popular enough people are writing fic for it!” and then read a good fic and then I realized that this was a chance to articulate a thought that’s always in the back of my mind whenever I reread the manga and now that I’m watching like four let’s-watch youtubers as the anime goes on but like-

It has always struck me that like- as much as Katarina has a lot of sparkling happy fluffy moments and people she cares for a lot in this life, people that certainly I think she does love perhaps more deeply than even she realizes, and the audience is reminded so often "ha ha she still thinks she's doomed, she doesn't realize literally everyone has fallen in love with her and she's become crucial in their lives and hearts"- there’s also the other side of that-

That is that all the preparing she's been doing since she woke up with her past life memories at 8 years old- she's spent all that time running from a looming shadow at her back.

She's spent 7 years with a lot of excellent friends, capturing hearts and being a bright light in the world, but she's also spent all that time living with the fear that some of her friends might kill her, someday, or that she'll be made to leave them, or be discarded, and have to start a new life in a strange place for a third time- this time, alone. And she's been running from that all this time. Even for a slightly one-track mind with a bit of a blind spot for things too close to her, how much fear and worry do you have to be carrying, to be still as Concerned as we see her when she's 15, to keep up preparing for such a doom for 7 years?

And there are moments like when she’s visiting Sophia and is reminded of Acchan, that we see she does still have some wistfulness for her life-that-was. Heck, even when she’s fighting her way out of her magical coma thing. Wistfulness for the world that was. And she doesn’t seem to have spoken to anyone about any of this past-life stuff. Even if this is her world now- she lost a lot, when she died the first time.

Even if she’s usually more focused on either things right in front of her, or her looming doom (hardly an enviable distraction), that has to be a lot to bear and never breathe a word of. A lot to miss, and people she will likely never see again.

And of course she's considered very simple and direct and incapable of guile or scheming by even her dear beloved friends- and often times she is- but there is also is the fact that in 7 years she hasn't let on about the secret of her memories, or what she's preparing for, or what she's afraid of. She hasn't ever let on those fears of getting killed or exiled by people close to her, or the fact that all this preparing is just in case she has to leave them all forever. Just in case they make her have to leave them all forever. She does a lot of off-the-wall things, but nobody has ever gotten a real hint of what they're for. The most anyone has really gotten is a refrain of “just in case!”

(I went back to check- she's mentioned "In case I'm exiled," in some material. She has not mentioned "In case you exile me." There's something of a difference.)

Also like. I know she’s really memetically, uh, got a bit of a blind spot about how people feel about her (I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t care about the whole rules of society thing except when they make immediate trouble for her, which she’s in a position to mostly ignore- that’s less her lack of sense, I think, and more her contemporary sensibilities and a certain amount of unselfconsciousness coming just as much from not caring for some of the more implicit rules as it does not noticing them) (not that she doesn’t also have the sense of a single turnip sometimes, but like. still.).

But like, in the first episode’s worth of events, she has like three different head injuries, two of which result in unconsciousness, one of which results in getting a load of past life memories dumped into her head. It’s not unlikely that this happens, not frequently, but more than just the times we’ve seen, over the years. That can’t be good for her- especially because if she’s visibly fine there wouldn’t necessarily be any reason to apply any handy-but-rare healing light magic that could mitigate any medical repercussions of head injuries. Certainly, I would not be surprised if this affects her attention span or ability to put together some things, just a little.

Take that, along with the fact that given what we see at least about her parents in this life, pretty sure some of the obliviousness is genetic- and also the whole ‘preparing for her doom for seven years’ thing... When we’re afraid of stuff, our limbic system, our fight-or-flight-etc, goes all “yeet” in our brains and it does actually affect our ability to think things through. Like. We had a seminar at work about it and stuff. And constant stress, even constant low-level-mostly-in-the-background stress, is known to cause issues with both memory formation and retrieval. Which can’t be helping anything else happening here.

What I’m saying is, Katarina has a lot of actual potential physical reasons to have some of the really increasing amounts of obliviousness that sorta seem to show later in the light novels.

(Also, in fairness, some people just aren’t great with the subtext of the goings on around them, even if they can read the pattern fine in words on a page. I’m like that myself. Uh, not nearly as much as Katarina, given, as far as I know. But that’s a way that one can be, too, and it’s not mutually exclusive with the rest of this or anything.)

Aside from those- from what we get about her reflection on her life in the last world, it doesn’t seem like all of this is totally new to her character; I definitely feel like she was Like This last lifetime too. (Actually, yeah, went back to check, and in the light novel, in Acchan's chapter, Katarina was indeed Like This last time too.) But I think it’s possible that aside from new circumstances in this life accentuating these characteristics, that they’re the sort of thing that produces more, uh, pronounced reactions to situations, the bigger the situation is. Last life, she was a normal schoolgirl who didn’t expect anything life-threatening. This life, she’s been living in the shadow of her doom for 7 years, and she’s in the upper strata of Very Important People, With Harem Hijinks.

I think some of Katarina’s determination just really has this flavor of- “Well it just can’t be helped! I just gotta do the thing!” A sort of.... taking all the weight of the things that really are chasing her, and also some of the subtext-laden everything in a lot of her close relationships, and a little willfully going “well this is kind of a lot. you know what was also kind of a lot? preparing for my doom for 7 years! you know how I dealt with that? just getting on with it as best i can, blithely moving past all the things i wasn’t really equipped for, with twice as much energy as life threw at me!” Not consciously, necessarily, but there’s certainly an energy of eliding past the whole mass of situations down to the brass tacks of an action plan. Gonna get murderlyzed? Learn to fight back against being murderlyzed, with a sword! Lonely brother set to fall in love because of healing loneliness? Guess he’s not gonna be lonely anymore! I stole some relationship flags from people? Well they’re great folks, I’m sure they’ll be fine!

There’s a certain resilience to this particular response to the whole state of affairs that keeps the story of Katarina’s life in this world from being dragged down into the implications of all the little bits and troubles that come with both her getting isekai’d into doom flags, and also all her friends’ troubles in their youths. It’s part of what makes her so interesting, I think, that she’s able to just go along being herself, doing her rather erratic best, genuine, honest, loud and enthusiastic and kind, and producing very direct responses to the happenings around her. And people respond to that genuineness and directness and kindness.

Whether we’re reading it on the page or the characters are seeing it in person, I think there’s something very charming about that. Taking ‘wow this is a lot. life is... a lot.’ and getting down to ‘but being nice is simple, and being enthused is simple, and scowling at mean people is simple, and now it’s not as a lot anymore!’

The origins of Katarina’s directness and charm aside, in this life she has very much been rewarded for Being Like This. Here, I’m speaking a little more in response to how I’ve seen people getting exasperated at the increasingly pronounced amount of Bakarina-ness that I’ve seen so far in at least the translation of the later light novels that I got a chance to read; she’s... still quite oblivious.

But her life and the narrative has always rewarded that. Her good-natured kindness to people with sorrows has made her happy friends; her determination to go the direct and simple path through things has always cut to the heart of matters (even if she’s sometimes missed how she’s now rather at the heart of a lot of people now); her blithe disregard for a number of proprieties has been protected by both her noble parents who love her, rather a lot of overprotective friends, and her royal betrothed. Worry has only ever gotten her to an action plan and a drive to proceed with it; after she’s got those to work with (e.g. her “train in swords and magic to not be murderlyzed, keep Keith from being lonely, make a field to train in magic, make a romance novel friend” plans), she’s always had to learn to take her actions and then live her life pushing that worry out of the way.

If she’d drowned in worry about her doom instead of letting it propel her to action and then disregarding it in favor of living in the moments produced by her choices, then I don’t think her life since waking up with her old memories would have been as happy as it was.

(Actually, I have this theory that the ‘original’/no-memory Katarina was running in a similar way as our Katarina, only she responded to the worry with sharp eyes and teeth, instead of brushing it aside with a determined smile. But that’s an analysis for another time, possibly after more of the Verge of Destruction spinoff is out and I’ve reread it a bit more.)

So, all that being the case- why should she be less blithe about things? Why would she be more cautious? Why would she start worrying any more about things beyond her newly-lifted worries about her doom? Her determination to charge facefirst through situations with a good nature, direct problem-solving, and some slightly-suspect assumptions that have always been close enough to the heart of things before- that’s always seen her through.

(Also, like. After everything, when she’s finally, finally able to stop worrying about her doom flags- enjoying all the people and things she loves without digging into the bits and troublesome bobs of it all, getting in a sense a second new lease on life- she can be forgiven for wanting things to be as simple as she’s always tried to make her one most looming problem in the past.)

(Also also, she did have to go through the stages between “you’re all adorable but you’re all 8 and I’m like 16 and I literally cannot be attracted to you, that’s weird” and “well I guess you’re all the same age as me-in-this-life but a large part of me is still 16, so it’s still weird” and “I haven’t changed much over the years because living through the same years twice isn’t really growing up so much as it is being 16 for an extra year or four and then being 12 again and then 13 again and then 14 again and then 15 again and only then finally getting a chance to grow older than 16- and in the meanwhile wait shit now you’re all the same age as me for real. now you’re not just breathtakingly cute or beautiful like a freaking artwork, now you’re making my heart skip a beat, uhhhhhh”.

It’s not particularly surprising that after years of thinking “yeah but I’m older than you, you’re like 8″ that it’s going to take being blindsided multiple times for Katarina to get into the swing of “wait, you’re my age or older and now, suddenly you’re able to be hot. wtf.”)

I don’t really have a conclusion to all this, exactly.

Just that- Katarina may have the sense of a single turnip sometimes, albeit a very good-natured turnip, but while some of it is absolutely just How She Is Even At Peace, some of it’s most likely a response to quite a few environmental factors over the years. And her life has rewarded her for the type of resiliency that she’s used to face her doom flags- the doom flags she’s been politely carrying and deflecting the stress of for seven years.

Direct and simple and kind and uncomplicated in nature she may be- and a bit slow on the subtext sometimes- but Katarina Claes should not be mistaken for lacking in willful resolve where it counts, nor mistaken for lacking fears, nor mistaken for lacking in ability to plan and analyze. I’m pretty sure she just... concludes that kindness is best, people are good, and that this life and the people in it are worth it.

She’s got more to her than just “oblivious harem protag is oblivious and really nice”. And honestly, I think if you look at her closely, she’s a lot more reasonable than people make her out to be.

#hamefura #otome game no hametsu flag shika nai akuyaku reijou ni tensei shiteshimatta #my contribution #in the tags #this is the quality content i'm on this site for #i'm allowed to tag my own post with that

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