#i want to throw myself away

[violetsiren90]

This morning I was in my car (parked) applying mascara and Daechwita came on my playlist and I had to watch my pupils dilate in real time I...........

[robo-nya]

I’m losing my fucking mind

[gen-toon]

[abirddogmoment]

If anyone was wondering what happened to Mav's kitty cat, don't worry, it survived the move and still endures daily torment

[nonokoko-draws]

It really be like this sometimes

[princncess]

im a burden so heres what were gonna do ok? i dont want you to do any extra work. as the dom youre the one providing, youre the one doing work for me, im the one taking. i am nothing of value as a sub. so to stop being a burden i will give you aftercare but not accept aftercare i dont want you to focus on my pleasure at all please just use me im here to make you feel good please just dont spend any effort on me please please im sorry

[morphogenetic]

yknow. i know I've said before in tags that I don't care about US voters abstaining from the presidential vote as long as they vote for their state/local elections

...after reading that supreme court decision I don't think that any more. if youre a US voter vote for the fucking president please christ I do not want another term of trump because if he wins it might be the last election we ever have

[puppyeared]

If I close my eyes and concentrate realllyyy hard I can pretend im in my animal crossing room

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[isa-ah]

for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???

[koifrog]

I’m approaching 27 which means that we are now in this unexpected period of life where we need to replace all of our “good enough for now” things that we got super cheap (or free from family) when we first started living on our own. I am realizing that it is VERY difficult to get rid of things, not just from an emotional attachment standpoint but also:

“Well it technically DOES still work even if it’s unpleasant and falling apart” (especially applicable to ugly/uncomfortable furniture)

“We don’t have to get rid of it, we can always repair it” (it is literally broken and falling apart)

“Wouldn’t it be Bad and Consumeristic to just throw something away that isn’t actually broken just because I want a new one?” (this one plagues me)

“Getting a New Thing would be way too expensive” (hasn’t even checked the price of a replacement, I absolutely can afford it but it would cost more than $50)

Even when I’ve fought through those arguments (which is very hard to do considering these are things I learned while growing up during the 2008 recession and struggling financially due to severe illness and death in the family when I was young) and come out the other side determined to actually replace something, a new issue arises. “How am I going to get rid of the old thing?”

“I can’t donate this because it’s broken or stained”

“I want to sell this but this requires a lot of energy that I don’t have (photographing the item, pricing the item, posting an ad for the item, sorting through offers for the item, arranging pickup for the item, possibly even shipping the item)”

“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage so it must go on the curb and I don’t know the protocol for that”

“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage and too broken to give away so it must go to the dump and I don’t have a vehicle I can use to take this there so I will need to reach out to family for help”

“I want to throw this away but I’m not sure how to do so in an Environmentally Friendly way”

This sort of situation is a nightmare for my mentally ill mind, and it results in me simply giving up and putting up with keeping the shitty item I know I want to replace and repeating the same excuses to myself to justify it enough that I don’t break down in frustrated tears every time I look at the thing I’ve been wanting to get rid of for months.

I’m sick of it though. I am tired of having to put up with being stuck with something I don’t like just because it’s not “bad enough” to justify going through the stress of removing from my life. I am tired of living with these things that I want to get rid of taking up the space I want to give to something new that I do love that I picked out myself on purpose. I am tired of my own happiness not being a good enough reason to justify doing something difficult or inconvenient. I am approaching 30. I don’t want to live the next decade of my life like I’ve lived the first two, just dealing with what’s been given to me and not saying no, incapable of removing things I don’t like to make space for things I do.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[p1harmonie]

I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY

[haarute]

something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!

[todayisafridaynight]

plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned

can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3

mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear

[sheliesshattered]

somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit