#i was supposed to queue more things and actually do writing for the first time in months and sappy post about my friends!!!!!

[good-beans]

HOW IS IT MIDNIGHT ALREADY

[vaginalvr]

IM SORRY BRO IM SENDING THIS SUPER LAST MINUTE (like 45 minutes until midnight exactly) but it’s my birthday tomorrow, and I’ve been thinking about birthday sex with Spencer. It would literally actually make my day if you could maybe write something like that, with a more submissive Spencer who wants to make readers day special. Maybe a little bit of angst at the start bc of a bad day but he makes up for it? Anyway, have a good day or night and good luckkk!!<33

i pushed ur request up to the front of the queue. happy birthday!

cw: birthday sex, sub!Spencer, comfort smut, soft dom!reader, service kink, oral sex (m. receiving + implied f. receiving), fingering, angst-to-smut, emotional sex, body worship, aftercare, gentle cockwarming, praise kink

REQUESTS OPEN:

It wasn’t supposed to be a bad day.

But it was.

First your alarm didn’t go off, then you spilled coffee on the only clean outfit you liked, then your boss barked at you in front of everyone for something you didn’t even do. And the kicker? Not a single person remembered it was your birthday. Not one friend. Not one coworker. Just a sad little text from your mom at 9am and radio silence ever since.

You knew it wasn’t rational to expect the world to stop for you, but it still hurt. Still made you feel invisible.

So by the time you got home, you didn’t want balloons. Or dinner. Or even your boyfriend’s sweet surprise plans.

You just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend the day hadn’t happened at all.

Which is exactly what you tried to do—until you opened the door and saw Spencer standing there in the apartment, smiling softly, holding a tiny cake with one single candle lit on top.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart."

You blinked at him. Your throat went tight.

Tears came too fast to stop.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered later, curled into his chest on the couch while he gently wiped the mascara from your cheeks.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he murmured, kissing your temple. "It’s your day. You're allowed to feel however you feel."

You hiccuped. “I thought maybe you forgot.”

“I could never,” he said fiercely. “I’ve had this day marked in all three calendars I own.”

You cracked a smile at that. Just barely.

“I had a whole thing planned. Dinner. Candles. Presents.” He gave a shy little shrug. “But… if all you want is to be held, that’s okay too.”

You looked up at him, heart aching in your chest — because he looked so worried. Like he might ruin everything if he made the wrong move.

You leaned in and kissed him softly.

“I want you.”

His breath caught.

“I want you tonight,” you whispered. “Slow. Sweet. Gentle. You making it all about me.”

His cheeks flushed pink.

“I—I can do that.”

You smirked just a little. “You’ll be good for me, baby?”

He nodded immediately. “Always.”

You led him to the bedroom, hands on his hips, letting him undress you like he was unwrapping something sacred. Then you undressed him — even slower — enjoying the way he shivered, the way his lashes fluttered and his hips subtly rocked forward when your hands brushed over the front of his boxers.

"Already hard for me?"

His voice was a whisper. "Always."

You guided him to the bed, pushed him gently to sit on the edge, then climbed into his lap and kissed him until he was gasping, needy little whines slipping from his throat.

“You don’t have to take care of me tonight,” he murmured against your lips.

You pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes.

“But I want to.”

You pushed him gently down until he was flat on his back, hair spread on the pillow, cock twitching against his stomach. You kissed every inch of him — his chest, his throat, the scar on his shoulder, the crease where his hip met his thigh — until he was squirming and red-faced.

And when you finally wrapped your lips around his cock, he nearly sobbed.

"You're so good to me," he whispered, hands fisting the sheets. "So warm—fuck—I don’t deserve you—"

You pulled off with a pop. “None of that tonight. No doubting. No giving me credit I didn’t ask for. Just… let me love you.”

He nodded, eyes glassy.

You climbed back up and kissed him again, then reached between your bodies, guiding him into you with a soft gasp.

The stretch, the fullness — it made your body sing.

His breath hitched. “Oh god—feels so good—”

You rolled your hips slowly, grinding down until you were fully seated on him, your walls squeezing tight, your hands pressed to his chest.

“Not gonna move for a minute,” you whispered. “Just need to feel you.”

He looked up at you like you’d hung the stars.

“I missed you all day,” he whispered. “Wanted so bad to make you smile.”

“You just did,” you said softly.

You rode him slow.

Long, grinding strokes that had him panting, trembling, whispering your name over and over like a mantra.

When you leaned down and kissed his throat, he let out the softest whine. When you bit his earlobe, he gasped. When you cupped his face and told him he was perfect, he moaned like he was going to cry.

“Touch me,” you finally whispered. “Make me come with you.”

His hand slid between your legs instantly, rubbing soft circles over your clit until you were both coming together — slow, warm, drawn-out — his body arching into yours as he spilled inside you, your own orgasm washing over you like a wave.

You collapsed onto his chest, both of you gasping, skin slick and warm.

“I love you,” he whispered hoarsely.

“I love you too,” you whispered back.

He brushed your hair behind your ear.

“I still want to give you your gifts later.”

You smiled. “You just did.”

[pettysreverie]

Shutting a very (nervous) chatty soap up by letting him give you head under the table of a fairly fancy restaurant?

(oh my fucking gosh!!! my first ask request! >.< sorry it took my so long babes, ya girl has been busy and also just down and out with cramps. Also? I was trying to decide on what was making him nervous...anywho! I hope this lives up to your expectations!!!)

CW: AFAB!Reader, Exhibitionism, Dubcon, I love writing out accents :P, as always if I missed any important warnings pls feel free to let me know (in case you didn't read my intro post, i get heavy handed with exposition. i'm not used to writing short form fanfic T.T have never written a 100 word anything outside of academia...sorry loves)

Okay, so the way I see it, Soap is a chatty motherfucker all the time anyway. Cracking jokes, making conversation, the whole spiel. He's a naturally extroverted guy, so it's not like he can help it...but when he's nervous? Oh, there's absolutely no shutting him up.

But can you blame him for being nervous? He definitely did not think he would he ever manage a date with you, an actress he's recently come to admire.

It started with seeing you in a few small roles here and there and enjoying them. And as you grew in notoriety and landed bigger roles, Johnny found himself seemingly following along—watching each project. Before he had even realized it, he had naturally become a fan boy of yours.

So he was absolutely surprised when, upon returning home from deployment, he had run into you. The poor bastard had nearly passed out.

He thought he had died and gone to heaven when you had actually given him the time of day, letting him chat with you in the queue as you two waited for your respective orders at the cafe.

And when, upon parting, you had accepted his invitation for a date and had given him your number? He really thought he was on cloud fucking nine.

This, all of this, the Scotsman nervously rambles to you as you sit for said date.

He's on edge, which is more than obvious—but you find it endearing. Johnny is just so charming. Even as he trips over his own words and blushes every so often, he manages to make you laugh.

And it's not like you don't understand.

Maybe you don't know exactly what he's feeling right now, but you've been in similar situations. And so, maybe that is why you just cannot help but try to lighten the mood.

"With how much you can talk, it's a wonder if you use that motormouth of yours for anything else."

Okay...even to your own ears, you realize that maybe you shouldn't have said that. You wince, ready to apologize, but Johnny's blue eyes seem to sparkle and the Scotsman smirks at you.

"Aye?"He asks, cocking a brow at you as he leans back in his chair. "Well, ah can promise ye... Ah can show ye be'er then ah can tell ye."

It takes you a moment, but it comes to you that he is not so nervous anymore. A more calm and confident air surrounds him now, his gaze more assured.

A shiver runs down your spine.

You have only just met the man, but you can tell that Johnny is many things. Intelligent. Extroverted. Charming. But how are you supposed to know that he is also a massive eater—that this man loves eating pussy?

How are you supposed to know that yes, he is a military sergeant that has a talent for many things, namely diffusing bombs…but eating pussy is where he truly thrives and shines?

There's just absolutely no way he's going to pass up an opportunity to eat you out. Not even if you two are in a fairly nice restaurant, sitting across from each other on your first date.

So of course it is a surprise that a smirk spreads across his lips, "Ma bad, bonnie. Yer right. Donnae mind if ah do."

And before you can call him off, telling him that you were only joking, the Scotsman has disappeared himself under your table. A feat unto itself given his not so small size, but with the tablecloth draped over the table and the natural humdrum of the restaurant life buzzing all around you, he is provided the perfect cover.

His nimble fingers hitch up your dress, his lips ghosting along your thighs. You can feel his stubble scratching your skin in a way that makes your breath hitch.

"Forgive me for ma ramblin' bonnie. Ah'll make it up tae ye."He murmurs just loud enough for you to hear from beneath the table, pulling a small yelp out of you as he nips the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

You're caught between wanting to convince him to stop, and wanting to see where this goes.

It's not like you're some A-list celebrity. Sure, you're getting bigger roles, but nothing too big just yet. Nothing that would garner you too much unnecessary attention naturally, anyways. You're not at the point, yet, of worrying about tabloids or paparazzi or being sneakily recorded by fans. For now, thankfully.

Still, the prospect of getting kicked out of such a nice restaurant and getting hit with a public indecency charge doesn't sound very nice.

On the other hand...?

On the other hand, you have a super sexy Scottish military sergeant beneath the table and between your legs right this moment. Talk about a wet dream come true...

You snap out of your own thoughts when you feel Johnny pull your panties to the side, his stubble rubbing along your inner thighs as his tongue takes a long, broad stroke up your cunt.

(Did I mention that he loves eating pussy?)

Your hand flies beneath the table, fingers settling within the tresses of his mohawk and tightening as your body jolts. You have to press your lips together, holding back a soft whimper that threatens to fall out at the way he seems to savor having you on his tongue.

And it suddenly strikes you that, actually...this might not a good idea after all.

"W-Wait—"

But Johnny doesn't wait. He doesn't listen.

He presses his face between your thighs, his tongue worshiping your flesh as you try your level best to remain as calm and collected as possible. Only, of course, now is when your waiter decides to come to your table.

"Ah, did the gentleman step out for a moment? Should I wait, or would you like to order for him?"

You freeze.

How the fuck are you supposed to answer that?

This is a first fucking date.

You definitely don't know him well enough to order for him. But to wait? That's not likely either.

"I'll...I'll order—"You press your lips together and tighten your thighs around Johnny's head as he starts sucking on your clit, causing you to full body flinch.

The waiter looks at you, a startled expression coloring his features just as a wave of shame courses through your veins. “Sorry….”You mumble, pinching Johnny beneath the table.

He apologizes with a kiss to your clit.

“I’ll have the chicken pasta, and he’ll have the roasted salmon with the white rice. Please.”You order quickly, trying to sound as polite as possible. More and more, this is seeming to have been a really bad a idea.

"Right, well then I'll have those out for the two of you as soon as I can."

You try to breathe a sigh of relief when the waiter leaves your table, but aren't even afforded the option. Not when Johnny is yanking your panties even further to the side. "Yer a fuckin delight, love."He mutters gravelly from between your thighs.

He sounds almost...feral.

Like an animal.

Another shiver runs down your spine and you shift your hips, pulling back. Your heart is hammering in your chest and with how intense this is getting, you're not sure you can keep a handle on yourself if things continue.

Besides, you're sure that you have more than embarrassed yourself for one evening.

This is only a first date, you can save some room to embarrass yourself more for another time—for another date.

But then Johnny's large hands grip your hips, forcefully pulling you closer to the edge of your seat almost greedily—hungrily. "Donnae run away from me."He says to you, and with him being hidden under the table it is almost an ominous threat of sorts. A deep, raspy voice not asking but commanding you to not move.

Johnny's lips close around your sensitive clit—sucking on it with an unforgiving intensity as he holds you in place. He's determined to make you cum. Right here. Right in this restaurant.

Once again your thighs clamp around his head, but if he's bothered about that then he makes no indication about it. He doesn't even flinch.

You try to say something—anything—but the words are lost on you when his tongue starts flicking your clit.

The sound you let out is just barely muffled by the sound your free hand makes as you accidentally slam it onto the table. A couple sitting at a table near yours looks over, shooting curious inquisitive gazes your way.

"S-Sorry..."You whimper, your thighs trembling and your hips twitching just beneath the table and out of their view.

Thankfully your slumped demeanor and shaky voice lend themselves more to seemingly like a jilted date than a frisky exhibitionist, so they only send you pitying glances and then turn away. Which you appreciate because, the very moment they turn away, you slump over onto the table.

One arm cushions your forehead while other grips Johnny's hair tightly, perhaps too tightly. But you can't be bothered to care. Not when he's slipping one of his finger's into your messy cunt as he continues his dedicated assault.

"F-Fuck,"Quietly falls from your lips, not being able to contain yourself so well anymore. "So good. So fucking good, I—"

The way he switches between sucking on your clit and licking it is making your head spin, and with his finger fucking into you slow but deep it's getting harder and harder to think.

"J-Johnny..."

Your entire body is buzzing at this point. You squeeze your eyes shut, but that's a mistake. Because now all you can focus on is his touch. How he is making you feel. The way his mouth is worshiping your pussy like its his sole reason for breathing.

He slips a second finger inside of you, slowly and gingerly—careful to help you accommodate to the stretch. That delicious fucking stretch of his long yet thick fingers. Nimble and fucking skillful.

Your nails are basically digging into his scalp at this point, but it's either that or you rut into him like the bitch in heat that you currently are.

But if you do that, you two will be found out.

Your cover blown.

Which might just be the Scotsman's desired outcome, given how he ditches the slow and savoring rhythm he'd granted you and instead starts finger fucking you faster now.

Heat pulses in your veins as a familiar tingling sensation begins to rise from inside of you. Your toes begin to curl in your heels and you press your lips together. Hard. If you don't, moans far too loud for propriety's sake will come spilling out.

It is as though your head is swimming—thoughts drifting away as you will yourself to muffle every whimper and mewl that battles against your quivering lips.

You want to warn Johnny. Really, you do.

You want to tell him that you're about to cum.

But how can you?

If you open your mouth, it's over for you. For the both of you.

So, instead, your shaky fingers tap on his forehead as best as they can. And you think, maybe he's gotten the message. Maybe...if his doubled efforts are anything to go by.

Warmth washes over your body and tingles take over your lower limbs, slowly spreading to the rest of your body as he continues to finger fuck you. His mouth is seemingly permanently attached to your cunt, the Scotsman determined to gorge himself on you.

But then his tongue does a thing and his finger curl just right, hitting you deep inside.

It's too much.

Too fucking much.

Your entire body stiffens, stomach muscles clenching as your pussy pulses and clenches around his thrusting fingers and onto his sinful tongue. Your thighs tremble as your legs wrap around his muscular torso—so caught in the throes of passion that you unintentionally trapping him in your hold as you ride out your wave of pleasure.

(I did mention that he loves eating pussy...right?)

Honestly, you're not too sure how you two don't get caught.

You're not too sure how he didn't get caught sneaking under the table and you're not too sure how he doesn't get caught get out from under it now, either. But he doesn't.

Still slumped over the table, you're slowly coming back to your senses.

Johnny has moved to sit beside you and is rubbing your back and shoulders soothingly.

"Ye did so well, bonnie. Am sure naebody suspected a thin'."He praises, his hand rubbing gentle circles into your still trembling thigh.

You don't speak. Don't even pick up your head. You don't trust your voice quite yet. But, of course, now is when your waiter comes back with your food.

You hear the plates land gently on the cloth covered table and then nothing. There's a pregnant pause and you assume that the waiter has left, then there is a throat being cleared.

"Is...uh...is your companion alright, sir?"

"Aye, tha missus is fine."Johnny replies coolly, his hand as gentle and calming as ever. "Just a wee bit under tha weather. We'll actually take this tae go lad. Thank ye."

Once your waiter leaves, you lift your head and Johnny immediately hands you your glass of water and urges you to drink it.

You try to set it aside, but he won't let you—kindly yet firmly redirects the glass back to your hand. And this time, you do finally accept the water and drink a few meaningful sips.

"Good girl,"He murmurs, patting your now calmed knee. "Feelin' be'er?"

"I...well, yes. But..."You're at a loss for words. What are you supposed to say. How are you supposed to continue your date after that? "I just can't believe we did that..."

Johnny nods, a hint of a smirk on his lips. And as his expression shifts you can see a bit of sheen on his face.

Clearly, as you'd still been slumped over, he must have wiped his face with napkin. Not well enough, though. Not when there's remnants still glistening on his chin.

"Whot? Is somethin' on ma face?"He asks, his thumb brushing away your cream from the spot your gaze had zeroed in on.

And you watch in rapt attention as the motherfucker sucks it off of his goddamned finger.

"Well, ah cannae say ah regret it."He replies to you, his smirk becoming larger now. "Besides, ah figured ah only got one shot fer a good impression. Wanted tae make it count."

Your waiter comes back once more, this time with your packaged meals. Before you can even think about the bill, the waiter is sliding Johnny back his card—clearly indicating that the meal has already been paid for in full by the sergeant himself.

Not that he makes a big deal about it.

Not that he makes you feel like you owe him for it.

For any of it, actually.

He stands, grabbing both ornate takeout bags in one hand and extends the other for you to hold. "C'mon bonnie, let's get ye home."

Go home?

While you're busy wondering what he could possibly mean by that, Johnny chuckles and pulls your chair out some before extending his hand out to you once more.

"Amnae pig, bonnie. Real class, ah am. Ah'll drop ye off and let ye rest. Ye can call me when yer ready. Tomorrow. Tha day after. So on. And we can plan our next date then."

His words calm your racing thoughts enough for you to take his hand, walking with him out of the restaurant. Although...well, you certainly make it a point to not look back at the wet spot you've undoubtedly left on the chair.

"You seem confident I'll call you for a second date."You reply, giving him a side eyed glance as you step out into the evening air and he places his coat jacket over your shoulders.

Johnny looks at you and this time his expression is somewhere between a smirk and a smile—his blue eyes gleaming with a charming sense of mischief.

"Am quite confident in ma first impressions, bonnie."

—————————————

.....Is this anything? Lmao, I hope this didn't suck. It's been so long since I've written smut. So long since I've written full smut. Don't jump me! I hope this is what you were hoping for >_< if not, let me know and I can try again!

Also? Any grammar errors are totally between y'all and whatever creator you believe in. I did my best. I didn't proofread this frfr because...well, I never do. Never have. Probs never will. Never did in my wattpad days. Never have in all of my academia days either. With the power of big breasted men with juicy balls, em dashes, and dominant women on my side, it's me against the world! Grammatical errors fear me!!!

BTW! If you also just have any Qs regarding my thought process for this or for any of my blurbs/posts/whatevers you can always send an ask :D as long as you're respectful I am too. I promise I don't bite

[sleepyafcapricorn]

Yandere Cullens Family's Reactions to You Attempting to Escape:

WARNINGS: Yandere, running away, mature language, manipulation, toxic relationship, gaslighting, etc.

SUMMARY: You tried to run away from your kidnapper lover but your attempt failed and now you have to face the consequences of your actions. Problem is, how will your beloved yandere react to it and what are the punishments that lie ahead for you?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: We had the Volturi guards and now, we'll have the Cullens! I guess, I'm in my active writing era for tumblr, so don't be surprised if I end up posting a whole lot more. It can be about Twilight or even other fandoms. I'll definitely be posting more for Miguel O'Hara too. Also, I was supposed to post this later on but it got put on queue and I didn't know how to put it out of the list, so I apologize if it seems a little rushed.

MASTERLIST & REQUESTS: Before you go, have a glass of wine or better yet, recommend a good bottle. any kind of message is always a delight.

-----

EDWARD CULLEN aka THE MIND READER

He's a mind reader. That is the only thing you need to know about him to know that it's useless to even try to escape because Edward is already reading your mind to see the potential plans of your escape. He'll do everything to ensure you won't escape and if you managed to find a single hint that could bring your hopes up to do so, he'll immediately eliminate it by fixing the problem. If you had somehow— no one knows precisely how —managed to find an escape, then just know that he'll find you soon enough. Not even just because of his abilities as a vampire since he can easily track down your scent with them, but also because well— he can read your mind. Edward will know where you desperately want to go to and he'll know about the decisions that you'll make as you try to escape. So, good luck but it's practically impossible, unless you managed to outsmart him by thinking of some sort of distraction. But yeah, it's almost impossible because he's constantly reading your mind! Very nosy indeed for a vampire but even worse as a yandere vampire.

CARLISLE CULLEN aka THE DOCTOR

He would be disappointed. Carlisle isn't the type to get angry at people, but he would get disappointed in you when you try to run away because he thought you knew better than to do that. Honestly, out of everyone in the family, Carlisle is the yandere who gives the most freedom to his darling partner. Carlisle gives a lot of trust to you but after your attempt escape, which was most likely ruined because of another family member, he will definitely be keeping a closer eye on you. Carlisle will either give you a scolding after your escape or he will be quite silent while checking if you got any injuries while being outside. The latter is actually scarier than the first because it's unusual for Carlisle to be giving you the silent treatment and it would mean that he would be more cautious and give you less freedom from then on. However, instead of immediately locking you up in the house after your attempt escape, Carlisle will show you all the reasons to keep you in the house. It could be by showing you the wounds and deaths caused by a rogue vampire or even just by bringing you to the hospital to show you the potential wounds you could get by being outside.

ALICE CULLEN aka THE PSYCHIC

Same situation as Edward. She's a psychic. Alice can easily check through her gift when you feel even the slightest want to go against her. She'll immediately fix the problem and spend more time with you and be much more attentive too. However, if you decide to rebel against her far too many times, she might just let you attempt an escape. Under her watchful eye, of course, since she doesn't want anything to happen to her precious darling but Alice is sure she can make an accident or two happen around you or maybe worsen your day with some horrible mannered humans to get you thinking that going outside and rebelling against her isn't worth it. She'll be faking her worries when you finally decide to come back home to her and she'll fuss all over your health. Alice might hide it from you but she is strategic and quite smart, especially when it concerne you. Your attempt had also given Alice a chance to guilt trip you into being her personal dress up doll. Not that you already weren't before, but things are certainly much smoother if you follow her order like a sweet darling right?

ROSALIE HALE-CULLEN aka THE BEAUTY

Rosalie would be scoffing at your attempt. She's definitely annoyed and angry at you, but she is also blaming herself for it. Rosalie should have known you would try to escape and she probably had a feeling on that as well, yet she still decided to trust her darling. You could say that she considered it as a test to see your loyalty to her, one in which you had failed horribly. After she has finally calmed down from her anger, which could take a few days, she will return to you with a sweet smile and continue treating you as her precious jewel like she usually does. Now, you can ignore her attempts to win you back over with her charms and even insult her for it, but do remember that Rosalie could be the sweetest person in the world towards her darling, constantly spoiling you with affection and cherishing you with her gentle words. Her actions causes you to be awfully conflicted about your want to escape because why would you want to get away from someone who loves you more than anything in the world? Your doubts could be added if you had terrible partners in the past.

JASPER HALE-CULLEN aka THE SOLDIER

Jasper will definitely be hurt. I mean, which yandere wouldn't feel hurt at some point if their darling tries to escape? But out of everyone, Jasper is the one who shows it the most. He's trying so hard to adjust for his darling on everything. He had made renovations to his home, specifically to accomodate to your taste and comfort. He had to endure more trainings to keep his blood thirst under control because he doesn't want to hurt you, and so much more. Jasper doesn't expect you to return anything, not even your affections since he understands he needs to earn it, but you attempting to escape is almost like you were dismissing all of his efforts in one go or even worse, you didn't give a shit about them in the first place and that was what probably hurted him the most. Jasper will probably get stricter with you after that. He had tried to be fair and tried to respect your space before and to be quite honest, he is the yandere who gives the most freedom to you after Carlisle. His only rule was for you to not leave him. But you had to break the rule and now, you'll pay for the consequences.

ESME CULLEN aka THE LOVER

Esme has the same reaction as Jasper. She's hurt but she is also confused as well. Esme is really patient and she understands that you needed time and space to adjust living in her house, your new and sudden home that was completely foreign to you, and she's trying hard to get you adjusted and be as comfortable as possible. Like Jasper, she's doing everything she can for your comfort but unlike Jasper, she expects your acceptance in return. It's not as if she is expecting it in a cruel type of way with the mindset that she's doing something for you, so you should do something for her. No, Esme is nothing like that. However, Esme made sure she was doing everything right and she expected for your relationship with her to go more smoothly, not for you to suddenly escape. Your failed escape made her think she did something wrong, but she's confused because she had done everything right so far. Esme never forced you to return your affections, she wanted to slowly earn it, which is why after your failed escape, she had a talk with you and asked you why you tried to leave. Esme knows that she's flawed but she wants to improve herself and do everything she can to fix the problem but in no world would she ever let you go.

EMMETT CULLEN aka THE JOKER

Emmett is silent. He was so fucking silent that it actually scared you more than if he got angry at you and he had never gotten angry at you either but it's probably much better than the silent treatment you're getting. No teasings or even some bad jokes. Heck, not even his cheesy pick up lines. Emmett still takes care of you and spend time with you during his silent treatment though. He still cooks meals for you and cuddles with you while watching a horror movie, which is actually his favourite activity to do with you, but he still didn't say a single word. And it was starting to get to you as well. You had no one else besides Emmett in the house, sometimes his "siblings" would visit, but they don't talk much with you and you were beginning to slowly grow insane from the lack of conversations. It didn't matter how long it took but after some time, you broke down and begged for Emmett to speak to you because if the silent treatment continued on, you were sure you would go completely insane. Emmett was surprised when you begged him but he was pleased as well. He was silent all this time in order to make him more tolerable to you, but Emmett also knew that he would eventually break you and hoped it would be enough to get you to want to talk to him.

[knavesflames]

Hello please read it’s important love you all

You may have noticed the lack of posting.. again. I am so sorry😭 but chat, I’m so sick, it’s not even funny. I got fanfic writer curse.

I’ve been sick since June this year, went to the hospital for the first time in September, spent two days in a coma type thing back in October, and… yeah, it’s not good. It’s the sickest I’ve ever been.

I am Trying to live as normal for now, but I need to have a surgery to be able to do so, and the surgery keeps being delayed due to new problems arising. My surgery was supposed to be this month, actually, but I fell ill again at Christmas (and subsequently spent both my birthday and new years in hospital grrrr), and because of how many times I’ve been ill with this specific thing— I would have died if they operated. I’ve almost died four times since September, I’m a bit bored now LMAO

Each infection I get almost kills me and the surgery they need to do was too risky to complete now in the hospital I was at. I’ve been living with this kind of drain coming out of my body to make sure I don’t get infection riddled again. But if I’m not sick with that, there’s something else. It’s just never ending. I got told “we can operate now, but you’ll die. Are you willing to risk that?” And a lot of other things, but yes. Dark shit. Scary shit. (I pretend I’m not but I feel like a scared child weee)

Tomorrow I have an appointment to take lots of tests and have a conversation about when my surgery will be, but honestly? This is the closest we’ve gotten to actually recovering, and I’m not trying to stress myself out more than I have to. I’m often tired and I use most of my energy with education and talking to the people I love dearly (which, I admit, I’m slacking on too) and writing just… has barely been on my mind.

I do come on this blog and feel very guilty and i feel like i have an obligation to post SOMETHING even if its an explanation as to why my posts have been less and in worse quality because of the sheer number of you.

I shall return to my once weekly posts soon. For now I shall try to post when I can. Maybe I’ll queue a couple for when I know my surgery date. Yes. Mwah. Love you all.

Also, if you read this far, give me ideas of what I can call you guys in my box!! Other than chat. I use chat too often, something more this tumblr centric

(And don’t be silly like teenager me and not eat— it causes a multitude of problems, it caused THIS problem. I take accountability for my actions but my LORD it has opened my eyes guys please for the love of god take care of yourselves)

[abyssalzones]

long overdue for a diary post + updates about various artistic projects and things. so that's what this is

been suuuuper low energy lately due to a complete change in scenery for summer break so my schedule has pretty much been waking up way late -> work on comic -> stay up too late -> repeat, which is not a great way to live I'll be honest but there isn't much to do... here... that and for as long as this thing isn't done and Posted it is going to continue to haunt me as a roadblock to working on other, more original things. why did I do this to myself? god only knows.

that aside things are coming along relatively well, to anyone who is still waiting on a commission know that I have not forgotten about you and there are about 6 still in the queue that I plan on getting to Soon. otherwise I'm 14 pages deep into [TITLE TBA D&D&MD COMIC THAT SOME PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW THE NAME OF] so that's about 7 pages left to finish. from there it's a matter of packing it up nicely into a PDF with some snazzy cover art and then releasing it through itch. this'll be my first time doing this but I've done a little messing around with compiling a different, shorter comic I Also plan on selling (some indeterminate time after posting the d&d&md one) and I think it should work relatively smoothly. fingers crossed.

good news is, these latest pages are the best looking ones visually. I plan on going back and very quickly messing with the color/hue values in the first few pages because they're a little too yellow for my taste now but other than that I'll leave them alone, otherwise I'd drive myself insane.

worth noting I'm using a free online site called Sejda to edit the PDFs which worked well for the other one but seems to be giving me problems with the sizing of these pages. could just be a skill issue + the website not being the most user-friendly, but I'm really hesitant to buy adobe acrobat due to, you know, not wanting to give adobe any money unless I really Really have to. if anyone knows a good low cost or free alternative please hit me up btw.

comic and commissions aside I'm also involved in a zine you may have seen floating around if you like gf... slowly but surely putting things together for that, I need to start actually sketching ideas out instead of just writing them down but one step at a time I suppose. look forward to it ^_^

after all that... well I'll be in college, and back in a city, so I'll probably be Very preoccupied again. but hopefully I can divert all my free time to working on escape velocity. yayyyy

[xlovingcupcakex]

M!Kylar x F!Reader - Gaming (Part 1)

You and Kylar meet through League. Two dorks in love. Fluff. I could make it into GN!Reader but I need the reader to be female for the next part, so yeah. There's not much League things, it's more like a plot device. So anyone can read it, even if you don't play league I made it pretty vague on purpose. As always, love y'all!

No trigger warnings, unless you count in League. Kylar is Kylar. Yeah.

2.1k Words. Not including headcanons.

As your game came to an end, the bold letters flashed on the screen. Although the game wasn’t won, you still had a lot of fun. Especially since your support was good, and it seemed like the both of you had a good synergy.  

It was no surprise that you sent them a friend request and an invite to your next game, hoping to play some more with them. A feeling of joy rose up in your stomach as they accepted both invitations, their preferred lane positions already picked and ready. You were already ready to start the next game as well.  

As you started up the queue, you asked them the basics, getting to know them better. If your synergy together was as good as you suspected, you definitely wanted to play more with them. And you for sure wanted to keep them around if that was the case! Making new friends in-game was fun, after all.  

Music played on Spotify as your anonymous support was answering your questions. The answers were short and curt, giving your duo an aura of mystery around them. However, in the end you found out a few things about your lane partner.  

First off, they were a man, and his name was Kylar. He was also around the same age as you, he even studies computer science! Although his answers were short, his questions about you were plentiful. You answered most of them without a second thought, as long as they weren’t questions about your exact location. However, you didn’t mind giving him a vague answer, like which major city you live close to.  

You also made sure to cheer him up through the messages as best as you could when something didn’t work out on bot lane. His Nami was on point, he was actively using his ability to slow down the enemy, only to follow up with a bubble that would stun them, thus giving you a kill. But sometimes, things didn’t work out the way they were supposed to, all thanks to random visits from the enemy, which would catch both of you off guard.  

But you made sure to calm him down each time, giving sweet words of encouragement, effectively bringing him back to his composed state almost immediately, or at least, it looked that way after you saw his playstyle improve. You also made sure to praise him each time he did something good. Although you weren’t sure if it had any impact on him because of the lack of voice chat, you still hoped you made his day, since he kept writing back “Thank you.” each time you gave him a compliment.   

Unbeknownst to you, Kylar was a melting mess behind his computer screen after each time you have him a compliment. You were so nice and so easy to talk to! Not to mention, you were really good at the game. And you knew what to say to him to make him calm down. It’s like it was fate for both of you to meet!  

Oh, how much fun does he have playing with you. He was actually the first one to ask you to play with him next day, too. Kylar spent the whole day being online as soon as he woke up, since he didn’t want to miss you and he really, really wanted to spend more time with you. He has made sure to give you lots of compliments as well that day. 

Hiding behind the screen gave him the anonymity, hence making him more courageous. You appeared slightly later than usual, which made him worry as he started to overthink as to why you could be late by two hours compared to your usual time. So, it’s no wonder he went ahead and asked subtly, disguised under the pretext of asking how your day was.  

Oh, so you had to do some grocery runs and buy a few things! Oh, it’s getting colder, and you bought some sweaters, as well! He was sure you looked so good in the virgin killer you bought. Kylar is so sure you bought it for a potential meeting with him, his Darling dressing up all nice and pretty just for him.  

Although he didn’t know how you looked like yet, he was sure you were just the most beautiful Goddess on earth. It’s impossible for someone as kind and nurturing as you to not be beautiful to him! 

He could only hope that you felt the same excitement whenever you spent time with him. You had to. Otherwise, why spend time with him? You surely had a thing for him too. You had to.  

The more you played with Kylar the more attached you got. He was fun to text to and play with, and his mysterious nature made you more curious about him. You tried asking more questions over the last few weeks and lately, you’ve been curious about what he sounds like. At some point your head made up a deep voice, fitting for his mysterious personality.  

It didn’t take long for you to take matters into your own hands, asking him whether not he wanted to join a Discord call with you. You were so ready to hear his voice. The thought actually made you all giddy and excited. As you exchanged Discord nicknames, you glanced at the screen. His nickname was Yamada-Kun, the same as his in-game nickname. He also had a picture of Yamada from ‘leveling up Yamada-Kun to lv999’.  

Your heartbeat quickened up as you clicked the call button, ready to hear Kylar’s voice for the first time. Kylar answered instantly, which surprised you. You barely even heard the Discord call noise; you were instantly connected to a call with him.  

Kylar shuffled about in his room, stumbling over his things. His hands felt shaky. His hands were sweating. He dried his hands by brushing them against his pants, hopefully less sweaty now. Kylar was so excited that he knocked over the microphone by mistake! Getting it took some time, since he had to be sneaky about it, but it was so worth it. Now his Darling can hear him in the highest possible quality! He was such a good boyfriend for you! 

As the microphone fell, you shrank a little at the noise, curious as to what happened. “Hello?” you said. “Is everything okay, Kylar?”. 

Your voice was so nice to him, so pretty and calming. It felt so good to hear you that he almost forgot about the microphone completely. He gingerly picked it up and placed it back on his desk. Then, he cleared his throat. “Y-Yeah, I’m good. My microphone just fell.” 

Oh, he did not sound like you expected. Not in a bad way, of course! You didn’t expect him to sound so shy and nervous, that’s all. But it was so cute that you just had to tease him. 

“Feels good to finally hear you, my Dear Duo! I was so excited. And I’m still excited for playing today. You ready?” 

Although you couldn’t see it, Kylar was nodding his head repeatedly, black locks of hair flying around and messing up his hairstyle, making it more messy than usual. “Y-Yeah, that sounds absolutely great, my Lovely.” 

Oh, he was using back pet names as well. He was so shy you thought he wouldn’t use it. You leaned back in your chair, pulling up League and logging it, then picking your preferred role to play before inviting Kylar to the game.  

God, his voice was so nice to listen to, even with all the stuttering and occasional voice cracks when he complimented you on nice actions you did in-game. It was so soft and delicate. Your ears felt hot and you felt a flush come to your cheeks as you listened to his voice. You desperately wanted to hear more, so you gradually asked him more questions, which he seemed to answer gladly, happy to satisfy your curiosity.  

The atmosphere on call was comfortable and it was nice to talk to someone during ranked games. Whenever he gave you a compliment or used a pet name, each time more confident than the other, you felt your stomach buzzing with energy.  

You reflected the same energy back to him. You did have some kind of crush on him. But that’s because he seemed so curt and mysterious in the beginning, and now you found yourself falling for how cute and shy he was being on voice.  

Your throat sometimes squeezed up, making it harder for you to say what you wanted. You didn’t even notice when you started to get nervous whenever you complimented him. Or used a pet name. You don’t remember when the last time was you felt so hot and giddy around someone else.  

But you knew that the feeling, despite it being slightly uncomfortable, made you feel mostly good. Happy.  

With how cold it was getting lately, your hands started to gradually become cold, to a point where you just couldn’t bear it anymore.  

“I think I should lay down and heat up, Kylar. My hands are cold as fuck.” You said. You exited the game and started to slowly close up other tabs you might have had open.  

“You could lay down a-and I’ll stream for you, Love! P-Please stay!” he sounded so desperate, it almost made you feel bad for wanting to go and lie down. A chuckle left your lips. He was so adorable. Like a bunny. 

“Sure. I’ll call from my phone in a few minutes. Need to change into my night clothes. Be right back, Darling!” and so you ended the call. You got ready and as soon as you laid in the bed, Kylar instantly called you, almost as if knowing you are in bed already. Huh. He must have some crazy 6th sense.  

You answered the call, getting comfortable under the covers. You already felt warmer, but not warm enough. Kylar pulled up some videos on YouTube as you guys chatted. Soon enough, he changed to Osu instead, showing you off his skill. Trying his best to impress you.  

“Jesus, my hands still feel so cold. F-fuck, my whole body is cold.” you mindlessly complained, snuggling more into the comfort of your quilt and soft pillows, impatiently waiting for your body to generate enough warmth. 

“I can be your blanket, Love!”  

You almost choked on your salvia as your breath hitched, suddenly feeling shy as you mulled over his words. He wants to cuddle you. Or was it something else? You felt so light-headed you weren’t really sure. You hid your face in your covers. 

“S-Sure. And I can be your pillow.” 

This time it was Kylar’s turn to blush. He stopped whatever he was doing in Osu, his brain short circuiting. He destroyed his own streak on the current Osu map he was playing and because of the level difficulty you soon heard an old retro melody that would signal that the map has been failed.  

His hands felt... Grabby. He desperately wanted to hug you. Feel you under his fingers. Give you the warmth you need. Slightly sweaty, too. He gulped. 

“W-We should meet up, if you really want to c-cuddle, Love.... Can we meet? Please, Love. I want to meet with you so badly. Give me the address and I’ll come as fast as possible, no matter how far you are.” 

His phone was already in the palm of his hand, looking up how far the busses and trains in his area would cost and how far they can take him. He was pretty serious about it.  

You felt so embarrassed by your words. You gripped your pillow tighter, bringing it close to your chest. You were unsure on what to say as you contemplated your next words. You really wanted that hug. 

“Okay, but... Only if you are somehow not that far away. Okay? You can come to (address)” you said. It wasn’t your home, but a place that was near enough. A gas station. A place where there are always people. It’s late and it would be the safest.  

Kylar immediately looked up the place and noticed it’s 40 minutes away by buss. He started grinning, a red flush took over his cheeks, reaching his ears and neck. He gripped his phone tighter, already packing things he might need into his bag.  

“G-Great. I’ll be there in an hour and a half! Jus-st wait for me, Love!” he ended the call, getting ready to meet up with you as fast as possible while you collected yourself and thought about what you have gotten yourself into.  

-------------------------

A few other things I've thought about while writing this one.

Some Kylar headcanons ahead!

They are probably into Otome dating games.  

In games like Osu! or Killing Floor, they are a casual player.  

More competitive games make them aggressive, although they don’t show it on chat if there’s a penalty. 

They do, however, make noises/sounds of frustration, maybe slamming their hand against the desk or keyboard, but never anything full-on destructive. 

Of course, Kylar will hold those reactions back when playing with you! 

To be honest, you have a calming effect on them.  

I feel like Kylar would be a Nami main when it comes to support, alternatively other cute champs like Lulu, Soraka, Lux. But enjoys an occasional Pyke or Senna.  

You bet they play anime songs/openings, Hatsune Miku or other Japanese music while beating the maps on Osu! 

If they are not playing anime songs/openings, they sure as fuck play emo/scene music. Pierce The Veil, Breaking Benjamin, Asking Alexandra. Sounds about right to me. Oh yeah, also listens to Night Core.  

I feel like at first, they would be court and short when it comes to messages. Mostly because they are shy and so they would seem cold at first. And yeah, you can’t hear their stuttering. 

But writing stutters and such also suits them lmao. I think they would use a lot of (…) whenever they write something. 

I am sure they would be voiceless at first because they would need to steal a microphone/headphones with microphone first, just so they can talk to you. 

[nastasya--filippovna]

Hi! Your blog was recommended by a fellow mutual. Do you mind, please introduce me to "Around the world in 80 days"? Spoilers are fine, I don't usually watch something without seeing spoilers 😆

'Ello 'Ello 'Ello!!!

Indeed my good sir you have come to the right place. Since you have asked sit back and enjoy because I will now most certainly yap. Also I am really sorry for taking this long to answer but I have so many asks in my inbox it gets hard to answer all of them on time and my queue is literally clogged rn.

I don't know if you have watched the other adaptations of this book but this one is brilliant (unlike the others). In fact the magic of the series is that the show makes the book actually good! As a person who comes from a country colonised by the brits when I first read the book something about it felt off. Turns out it was the heavy dose od colonial gaze! And the movie (the Jackie Chan one) did nothing to fix it. Also both the movie and the book get a lot of cultural things wrong. The series however fixes it. I love the way it celebrates and respects the diversity of cultural experiences, where indigenous peoples in every country are shown as for lack of better word 'the good guys' and the colonisers as 'the bad guys'!

There's this scene in India where the village chief (who is a woman) just ends the feigned British superiority right in Phileas Fogg's face and the beauty of it is that he accepts it (instead of wanting to assert some toxic white guy masculinity). So the writing is immaculate.

Also I saw a lot of people for saying it made the story too woke. Heck yeah it did. If saying racism sucks, making the main romantic plot between a white woman and a black guy and showing women as the smart and strong ones at every turn (like when they are in Arabia), saving the men, and the men as compassionate and not toxic and macho, and ending classism is woke then yeah!

I really liked the fact that they erased the romantic arc with Phileas and Auoda as seen in the book that was so deeply disturbing on so many levels (white guy saves Indian woman from oppressive patriarchal structures in her oppressive backward society by marrying her. how wonderful! /s Mr. Fogg can we take a minute to talk about the oppressive treatment of women in your own Victorian society!) Love that instead they made him to the old man father figure to the two main leads. Passepartout is the lead! And how wonderful to have a black person play the romantic charismatic lead in a previously heavily white story. I like the romantic plot they did give Phileas tho. Beautiful, tender, heartwarming and a lot more in character with how the series version of him is!

The crucible is again wonderful. I love how the rewriting fixed A LOT of the problems with the book's plot. It gave the story a purpose. Phileas's actions have a deeper purpose not just a white man's gamble. Passepartout's actions have a deeper reason. Not just some dim-witted side character who's tagging along for the joy ride. The crucible is not just some policeman going after them for no reason whatsoever. It's far more complex than that. The villain has deeper motivations (wink wink @spiteful-summer-of-sixteen !) that are intertwined with their backstories.

Can we talk about the acting!!! AMAZING! All round brilliant performances. Also pretty people everywhere! Leonie Benesch has my heart! And how pretty is Ibrahim Koma!! David Tennant's hair in this thing deserves a whole sperate award. That moustache is supposed to look bAd. supposed to. But he's making it look GOOD! how?

Cinematography. wonderful. Filmmaking and direction. Immaculate.

Full of wholesome scenes that will make you cry from the warmth of it all, and sad scenes that will make you cry from the tragedy of it, and silly scenes that will make you laugh so hard that you'll be having tears in your eyes.

10000000000/10 would definitely recommend. In fact I will sneak into your house and make you watch it! lol jk.

Did I miss something???!! I don't think.

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

Hi! I've read a lot of your Hazbin Hotel stuff, and I have to say, I really adore your writing! You're one of my favorite writers out there! I was wondering if you could maybe write about Husk and Angel Dust as parents with a hyper cat-like child? Something fluffy and silly!

omg! thank you so so much! that means a lot that you’ve even taken the time to read the silly little stories i write! i’ve enjoyed writing though so it makes me happy you’ve enjoyed them!

for the request, hell yes i could! this sounds so cute and fluffy! im gonna do a head canon format but if a full fic is desired that can be worked out! it may just take a bit longer. 😅

angel and husk adopting this little rogue cat child did two things:

1. solidify their relationship

2. and create a whole family filled with adoptive aunts and uncles

which was honestly great because the kiddo LOVED IT.

when they first found kiddo though, the kid was on edge all the time. like would flinch if someone even reached for something close to them.

husk and angel were both pretty understanding and sure that this kiddo had gone through some shit.

and who better to help a kid then two trauma filled guys

they asked the kiddo their name and the kiddo explained that they didn't have one. that floored both angel and husk. so they helped the kiddo choose out a name.

the kiddo chose rori, with an i 'because it was super different!'

angel and husk are actually really great parents though

husk is definitely way more lenient, will get rori anything they want

angel is the one who is more strict, like rori has a bed time because of angel.

love to spend time with aunt charlie and aunt nifty. they put on puppet shows instead of roach shows

uncle alastor scares them, but he once let them in his radio room when they said that they liked the radio shows they hear when he broadcasts. taught them how to be a professional radio host

uncle pentious shows rori how to build different weapons. and rori came down with a very intricate weapon to kill angels! angelic steel and all. angel put a stop to that very quickly.

there was one time that rori had decided that they had seen husk and uncle alastor cook, so they did too!

queue angel walking into the kitchen looking for them and finding themselves covered in flour, happily humming and mixing what looked like was supposed to be pancakes. pan over to the left and there is lucifer nodding.

rori was making pancakes and lucifer totally wanted to help. the batter was too far gone, but he let them happily stir while he had some batter ready.

all in all, rori really livens up the hotel, in a positive way.

[thistransient]

Obligatory retrospection 2024

I was going to title it "belated" but I didn't get around to last year's til the latter half of January either, so I suppose it's just tradition now.

Last year my main goal was to finish reading the Chinese translation of 黃金神威 / Golden Kamuy, which I did not do only because I was determined to read the hard copy version and the library wait queue is insane (a check-out period is a full calendar month and man do people really keep their books as long as possible). I did however read all 23 volumes of Dorohedoro in Chinese while waiting, and got up to vol 27 on GK, so I'm okay with it. Other goals listed: consume more protein, have a look for B vitamins the surgeon’s office recommended, learn how to do multi-colour lino printing, and "fingers crossed for minimal missile warnings and no more 曖昧的關係s". I have in fact been very diligent at trying to consume an appropriate amount and distribution of nutrients at regular intervals (while unlearning certain unfortunate food misbeliefs instilled in childhood). I did buy those damned B vitamins, which largely served to turn my pee bright yellow and make me wonder if I'm sensitive to choline cause I would get mysteriously anxious and depressed whenever I took them (eventually I gave up on it). I figure my regular diet probably covers things anyways. I also finally did the lino colour printing (and more printmaking in general). There were no more mistaken missile warnings, and as for the 曖昧的關係 …well, no unreciprocated pining at least.

I got really into making my own pickled daikon (minus the yellow colouring) when, appalled by the grocery store prices, I discovered they only require 5 ingredients and you just keep 'em in the fridge (I don't have a kitchen in my 套房).

At the time of last retrospection writing I was waiting to see if I got into a grad school program, and whether I'd have to take the Mandarin proficiency exam to broaden my opportunities. I did not get into the program! I took the TOCFL and got a 5 out of 6! (6 being C2 level, TOCFL levels are not equivalent to HSK.) I was still a bit too chicken to apply for grad school taught in Chinese, and decided to take some community college art classes instead, which I understand 98% of the time until the teacher asks me a question directly and then my mind goes blank, of course. The more I look into the heinous bureaucratic requirements for foreigners applying directly for any kind of non-English university degree program in Taiwan, the more I consider going elsewhere. But the idea of doing a degree program was in part so I could get student residency in Taiwan… ah, internal strife.

I had a big sort of personal paradigm shift this year, after my now former bff made (I have to generously assume) an offhand drunken comment on my birthday (of all times, wow), which (amongst some other things) slowly but inevitably led to the end of our friendship (or at least we seem to have mutually ghosted each other as of October- unfortunately he still has my spare key which I need to retrieve). In a strange way it was a positive thing in the end, in that it pushed me to the conclusion that I actually like who I am, including my values + perspective on the world. I realised our friendship was based largely on the shared experience of being "Mandarin-learning foreigners in Taiwan", and it feels strange that my circumstance evolving into "foreigner using Mandarin to learn other things in Taiwan" would be a game-changer, but I guess it is (well, there are of course more factors at play, but I feel that was the big one which had always smoothed over the otherwise substantial divide between us). I feel a bit guilty cause he's helped me with a lot over the years, but I'm working on accepting that one doesn't stay indebted to freely given kindness forever, and people (including myself) change and that's okay.

I went to Ladakh this summer, which was my first trip to a totally unfamiliar place post-transition and post-lifting of international covid restrictions. It's different to travel now with a home base I actually want to go back to, and a mindset which is more "curiosity and exploration" than "need to run away to the ends of the earth". For example, now I care significantly more about coming back in one piece. It's nice to be less bothered about being alive in general, re: transition, but the trade-off is being more stressed about gendered bathrooms and airport security. At least one thing never changes: fear of death by feral dog pack consumption.

I didn't do as much text posting this year, for a few reasons- one being that I stopped going to the kink bar when my fave shibari salon started having more events. A lot of good stories came out of that bar, but I also hated the crowd, noise, and had too many unpleasant sub drop experiences in said environment. Second, with more time to consistently take and post photos, more people started following, I was regularly getting more than 0-3 notes per post and suddenly felt increasingly reluctant to write in great detail about my personal life in a city which is smaller than it seems. Not to mention the amount of terfs in the notes on innocent beach photos... The further along I get in transitioning, the more it becomes relevant to my anecdotes, and I never really intended that to be the focus of my writing (not having to worry about how people perceive my physical appearance is/was a main bonus of anonymous internet blogging). And yet I still want to write about stuff! Maybe it's time for a side blog.

I need to come up with some reasonable goals this year (besides the big stuff I scheme about in counselling sessions). Let's say…get more massages. Finally do that bike ride from Fulong 福隆 to the lighthouse (the problem is getting up early enough to go to 福隆). Oh, I really want to get one of those lil ceramic tea pots and learn how to brew the loose leaf tea that was pawned off on me by a friend only to sit in my closet for a year. I'd also like to finish a novel in Chinese I bought two years ago on my ex tutor's recommendation- it was still too difficult to enjoy then and has been lurking ominously in the Unread Book Pile ever since. Last but not least, hang out more with @carrotblr, the tropical maladies can't keep us apart forever...

[blainewarblur]

can i vanish into you?

well, the thing is...i'm still alive. i know, i know. it may come as a surprise, given how completely i've managed to ghost myself right out my life. for someone usually so determined to vanish, i suppose it's only appropriate i should endeavor to resurface now that we're on the precipice of tumblr's potential shuttering, but i've kinda had this spooky little habit forever (i ran, kurt) and it's gotten particularly, um, troublesome in the last couple of years...

see, it's almost like, as i've deleted myself off the internet, i've also deleted myself from the whole of my life too. i've stopped writing, i've stopped dreaming, i've stopped engaging in the things that i once loved. i've stopped wanting, i guess, is the best way to put it–wanting to be and wanting to be seen.

okay, so that's melodramatic. i can assure anyone listening that there's nothing to be, you know, worried about (not that i've earned the right of anyone's concern). maybe it's not really an accurate characterization anyway, seeing as how i'm still here so i must want for something, but that is how it's felt more often than not. there've been moments that i've fallen so far down the well of dark days that i've doubted the existence of even the smallest eclipse of light to look up towards.

[and of course my first and last instinct here is not to reach out to anyone at all but instead to turn inwards, to run away from everyone who might care–for fear of burdening others mostly, and a few more solipsistic reasons we need not get into here.]

idk that all sounds worse than it actually is. this isn't an ao3 author's note, i'm not here to declare i've just returned from prison or some other bout of absurd incapacitation, but it's just that once you go a day without talking, then it somehow becomes a week, then a month, and before long, you're left wondering how to speak at all.

i do still sew, that is one thing i've not lost in the haze of a years-long depressive haze, and like a particularly delicate linen, my life has frayed.

i am frayed.

but there are other little things that have kept me sane over the last few months (and years before that, too): lady gaga, kurtandblaine, the unsullied joy of my niece and nephew who don't yet know the world they'll inherit, a well-timed text message, glimpses of a life i once imagined living, the softsoftsoft back of of baxter's ears, crisp clean sheets, gratitude that keeps my head above water, thinking of my sweet sweet molly who will never see just how ugly the world's become, and of course, there's always the stubborn, naive hope that this too shall pass.

anyway, the point is: i think it's probably time to make myself visible again. just a little existential opacity, if you will. you know, as a treat.

and yes, i realize that ~reemerging on a relatively anonymous blogging site that may or may not self-implode in the matter of months is a pretty cowardly declaration, but if we're being generous, it could be a first step, right? of course there will be no twitter or instagram or any other such platform to find refuge, lost as they are to those evil little corporate oligarchs, and maybe i'll just lurk here as i've always done, but it still felt like i owed an explanation–even if it's only to myself. after all, to put words to paper (or to keyboard) remains the only way to make anything even remotely real to my silly little brain.

so, well, here we are.

that's all there is to it, i suppose. i hope to soon have the wherewithal to more concretely contend with the wreckage left in the wake of *gestures wildly at everything and nothing*, but for now, my queue is full and i hope one day my heart will be, too.

i mean, the show's gotta go all over the place or something, right?

sensibles, if you're reading this, please know i think of you near daily and i am the most sorry for (and rather embarrassed by the selfishess that is), you know, vanishing. oh, and snix, if you're reading this, no you're not.

[piillow]

can you write a skz comfort fic where the reader struggles with their university work pls and they comfort her?? xoxo

OMGGG yes comfort fics i love these also first request!!!!!! everybody cheer (queue awkward silence)

( •̀ ω •́ )✧

bsf!skz x gn!reader | cws : lots of implied sadness/stress/overworking, starving mentioned | wc : 2.5k | a/n : sorry some are shorter than others :(

chan -

- you'd been spending less time with him ever since it was midterms season. he understood you needed to study, but you seemed to be cooped up in your textbooks all too much.

- "y/n? don't you think it's time for a break?" he asked you. you just shrugged it off and replied with a quick "no."

- he sighed and let you do your own thing. he had plans to go to the library with some friends for an hour or two to study, so he hoped that you'd be done by the time he got back.

- but, lo and behold, you were still studying when he got back.

- "y/n! please... go to bed? i know we have midterms this week, but... sleep is still important, you know."

- "i know, chan. but i want to get as much done as i can, i've still got homework to finish."

- "here, we'll make a deal, yeah? you can study until midnight, but you'll only study until eight tomorrow night. your classes end at three, so five hours of studying."

- "what?! but.. chan! that's not enough!" you replied, slightly disappointed.

- "so, will you take the deal?"

- "fine..." you said while sighing.

- as the rest of the week went on, chan decided to invite you to his short library sessions with his friends, and even let you invite your friends along too.

- once midterms finally rolled around, he was always there for you.if it was comforting you with your late night study sessions, or even sending you a simple motivational text while you were taking your actual test. 

- it was the little things he did that made it better. so, maybe the deal wasn’t that bad after all.

minho -

- minho had been studying with you since lunchtime, and it was almost dinner time.

- "y/n-ah, time for a break. it's almost time for dinner, what do you want?"

- "i'm fine, min. i'll just make some instant ramen, don't worry about me."

- the surprised face he had made was.. interesting, to say the least. "y/n, eating is just as important as studying. it's on me, i promise. what do you want to eat?" he said, putting a hand on your shoulder.

- "are you sure? if you say so... i'll just eat what you're making, chef's choice." you said, giving him a smile.

- "ooh, okay! i promise you'll love it~"

- "wait.. not spicy food though!"

- "aww, fine..." he replied, pouting at you. “but still, why don’t you take a break? it’s been five hours, i’m sure your brain has gotten enough work done.” he says, standing up.

- “you’ll have to help me make dinner, it’s hard to make food with two hands, y’know?” he teased, but with full intent to get you to help him in the kitchen.

- “you- ugh, fine… i suppose i’ll help you.” you replied in your fake annoyance tone, to which minho had happily smiled at.

- as you walked into the kitchen to see many ingredients sprawled across the table, you were met with a very happy minho.

- which meant that you were in for a long cooking session. and possibly baking too..?

changbin -

- you’re both at the gym, sitting on a random bench while doing some sets of curls.

- then, from out of nowhere, you remember about a research paper that was due tomorrow. while you really wanted to tell changbin that you had to go and finish it, you didn’t want to finish your workout short today. 

- so, you didn’t. - it was currently 6:30am, and you had a bit over 30 hours to get it done. - but, it was a tuesday. you had classes, which meant more work, which meant you were definitely staying up tonight.

- just as you two were leaving the gym, you turned to him and asked “hey, you remembered the research paper for comp sci, right?” - “oh yeah, i finished it like, two days ago. it’s due tomorrow.” … right. of course he knew. he’s always on top of everything. - “yeah, i know that, just gotta make sure y’know? i mean, i cou-” - “could just check the syllabus.” he interrupted. “y/n, you didn’t even start it, did you?” he said in a flat tone. it’s almost like he could read through you. “y/n, c’mon. you really gotta start getting on top of your work…” - “i know bin, but.. i’m just so tired from everything. all these professors i have to email, all these papers i need to write, all the equations i have to solve. it’s getting overwhelming and i don’t know what to do. i know i have to work, but i just get stressed at the thought of it.” you admitted. it was getting too hard, too quick. but you couldn’t make it stop.

- as you two got into the car, he turned his keys and started pulling out of the parking lot. but, he wasn’t going to the dorms. he turned in a different direction.

- “bin, where are you going? this isn’t the way to the dorms, let alone campus in general.”

- “let me do my thing, y/n. you just have to sit here and relax, don’t worry about a thing. i promise.” he said.

- while you decide to get some shut eye while he drives, you suddenly wake up in the parking lot of your favorite cafe outside of campus. you always complained about how the ones on campus were always so crowded, and of course changbin took note of it.

- as he woke you up to your surprised face, he said “we’ll be staying here today. you have your laptop, don’t you?”

hyunjin -

- as you two sat in your non air-conditioned and sweaty dorm room, hyunjin was starting to get bored of trying to take a nap. so, he decided to take out his sketchbook, and draw you at your desk.

- he’d been listening to you type away at your laptop for what seemed like three hours, possibly more. you were in the same position when he went to bed, and still being in that position started to worry him. - “hey, y/n? you good over there? you’ve been working for like, 10 hours straight.” he said, walking over to where you were.

- “just working. i have to get this paper done for tonight, i have no time to waste.” you reply, not bothering to look at him while you shuffle through your tabs of resources and documents.

- “and… how much else do you have to finish?” he asks while adding some more hatching to his current sketch.

- “... three lectures i have to take notes on for quizzes next week.” you blurt out.

- “that’s next week. it’s only sunday, this week just started. why don’t you take a break after you finish? that’s your conclusion paragraph, no?” he asks again, leaning a bit closer to you so he can see your screen.

- “yeah, this is my conclusion. but i’d rather get it done earlier than i need to.” you reply while you proofread your paper once again. 

- once you let out a groan while you fix one of your mistakes, hyunjin pipes up. “here, give me your laptop, i’ll proofread it for you. it’ll be easier, since i haven’t read it before.”

- as you hand him your laptop, you take a peek at his sketchbook and the sketch of you. as he glances over the top of the laptop, he slides it a bit closer to you so you can see it better.

- while you admired the sketch of you, and while he proofread your paper, the silence in the room was nice. it wasn’t too awkward, not too tense, just… right.

- “it’s really good. i fixed what i had to, by the way.” he said, placing your laptop back on your desk.

- “you didn’t fix anything, though.” you say, confused.

- “yeah, because there was nothing to fix.” he replies.

- “oh- OHHH.” you say, facepalming yourself while hyunjin just laughs. “hey! don’t laugh at me like that. not my fault i’m a bit slow…” you say, crossing your arms.

- seeing your slight disappointment, his laughs come to a stop. “okay, okay, fine. but still, seriously, it was fine. and here, your gift.” he says while ripping out the page and handing it to you.

- “thanks. i guess i owe you, don’t i?” you ask as you took the paper.

- “cafe day?”

- “cafe day.”

jisung -

- you and jisung had clicked ever since you two became roommates at the start of the semester. just two new freshmen who were just trying to survive their first semester at college.

- so, while he was out at his night classes, you were working at the dorm. and almost every time he got back, he’d see you fast asleep in your bed.

- since you two couldn’t really talk to each other much, you decided to start writing sticky notes for him to read in the morning. they were always short messages, mostly consisting of anything similar to “i hope you’re doing well in your classes :)” or “hope you slept well.”

- so, when he entered your dorm room at 1am, he definitely wasn’t expecting you to be awake.

- “y/n? well, i wasn’t expecting to come back to this. what’s up? how are you doing?” he asks, not hiding his surprise.

- “oh, hi. i’m working. you?” you rushed out of your mouth. you felt like you were running on 100k/mph, and nothing could slow you down. there was no time for distractions, you just had to finish this assignment.

- han, sensing something is up, says “quickly cramming something? i can help you if you want. or, well, try my best, at least.”

- after hearing the word “help,” you jolt you head to the side to look at him. “really? you’ll help me? Seriously? oh my goodness, you’re a lifesaver! i can’t proofread for the life of me!” 

- as he sees relief wash over your face, he can’t help but smile. “yeah, i could! after this, you just have to turn it in, yeah?” he asks as you hand your mac over to him and nod.

- while he proofreads your work, you end up rambling to him about how you just hope that your professor doesn’t fail you. even though he wasn’t fully focused on you, he was just happy he could help you in any way.

- as he watched you turn in your assignment, he gave you a high five. “nice! now you can finally sleep, so i guess it’s my turn to start working now. good night y/n, sleep well.”

felix -

- whenever felix had arrived from his culinary classes, he almost always had some food with him, and he was always willing to share with you.

- today, he brought back an assortment of fried goods, which you could smell the second he opened the door.

- “ah, hi y/n. sorry about the smell..” he says as he takes his shoes off.

- you turned your chair to him, hoping that you’d be able to see what was in his bag. “it’s fine, at least it’s good food and not b/o.” you joked, which made both of you laugh.

- “still,” you continued, “what’d you bring? Chicken?”

- “spot on. and they let us experiment with random foods, so i tried frying some tteokbokki.” he said, looking at you with wide eyes. “definitely don’t recommend. i almost burnt myself from the oil like, twenty times.” he continued, sighing.

- “sounds pretty stressful, but i assume that that’s an understatement?” you ask, to which he nods almost right away. “i see.. well, if it makes you feel better, i’ve been working on these stupid geometry problems for like, two hours straight. i really need a break.” you admit, rubbing your temples.

- “well, why don’t we dig in? it’s still warm, and you can rant to me about whatever you want. sounds like a pretty even trade deal, hm?”

- and that ended up leading to a long dinner, with you two eating almost everything he had brought back. but, he would gladly do it again if it meant you’d be able to let go of some stress just for a little while.

seungmin -

- you two decided that today would be a good day to sit outside and get some work done, until it started to rain, and your laptop started to get water in it.

- once you got inside, you two checked the condition of your laptop, and after realizing it wasn’t turning on, this made you two bummed out.

- but you weren’t just bummed out. you had been working on a lab assignment due at 11:59 tonight, and it was 5pm. 

- after smashing the power button a few more times, you groaned. “great. i guess i’m going to fail this assignment that’s worth the same as a quiz. how beautiful.” you said sarcastically, shutting your laptop shut.

- “you wanna use mine? it’s back at the room, and besides, we got enough time outside today. i guess the rain was just a sign to tell us to come in.” he replied, hoping to lighten the mood.

- you raised a surprised eyebrow at him, “really?” you asked. “really.” he replied. “well, i will gladly take your offer. i’ll take anything i can to get this done. thank you so much.”

- as you worked, he happily accompanied you, even singing you a few songs, and being happily surprised when he heard you singing or humming along.

jeongin -

- you both sat at a table at the library, just studying in between your classes until your friend called you.

- “y/n! there’s gonna be a party at f/n’s house, you wanna go?” they ask.

- “oh, i would love to, but i’m too busy.. i’m sorry. tell me how it goes though! i hope you have fun.” you say, before hanging up the phone and sighing.

- jeongin looks over at you as you sigh, looking slightly concerned. “you okay? i know what it’s like to miss out on parties too. i’ve had to miss a lot, but i get over the fomo pretty quickly. i can stay with you tonight, if you’d like.” he offers. 

- you glance over at him, confusion written all over your face. “how’d you know- never mind. you’d stay with me? really? but i don’t want to be the reason you don’t go, then i’ll feel guilty too.” you say. - “no, really, it’s fine, y/n. if i’m being honest, i have lots of work to get done too, so it’s okay.” he reassures you as he pulls out his phone. “oh, it’s almost time for my class. i’ll see you later though. bye for now, y/n!”

- while he waved to you as he walked out of the library, you couldn’t help but think about his nice gesture to stay with you later. sure, there was a possibility he could be lying, but it was nice of him to do what he did.

[cliperry]

Zayn, Louis, and Liam at the American Music Awards in LA last year.

BOYS TO MEN

WE'RE NOT KIDS

Few celebrities actually make that jump from teen sensation to adult A-lister, but One Direction have completely nailed the transformation. Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Louis are ruling the charts thanks to hard work and pure talent. CLEO's Jessica Bailey chats to the men from 1D.

They are hot, they are successful, and it's time you take notice.

Harry Styles stands up, straightens his black, unbuttoned, Jagger-esque shirt, and extends his hand.

"Hello, I'm Harry," he says, his English accent thick. "Can I interest you in a macaron or some sort of beverage? A water, even? No? Now, tell me, where in Sydney did you grow up?"

Yes, the 21-year-old mega-star (who is one-fifth of the dynamo act that is One Direction) is certainly a charmer. The last time he came to Oz, he made headlines for flirting through every interview. And it's easy to see why. It's that penetrating stare and his cheeky grin that makes you forget there's a full staff of media liaisons, videographers, and security in the room.

Story of Their Lives

The first time that we laid eyes on Harry, he was only 16 years old. Even then, he was pretty confident, but he was a kid. Along with his bandmates Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Louis, Harry has experienced unprecedented fame over the last five years. But it wasn't until their latest trip to Oz that those of us over the age of 14 took notice. Why? They've grown up.

The group were shaped into a pop band (complete with perfectly coiffed hair) by Simon Cowell back in 2010 on The X Factor UK. And while they hit the music scene wearing plaid shirts and pastel blazers, today these guys rock out in matching leathers.

"It's a strange situation to grow up in," Liam explains. "You know, we try our best to be role models, but it's difficult. We're 21, 22, and 23 years old. It's hard being this age. We feel the responsibility of having so many followers on Twitter and even more fans."

And then there's all that media hype. For every YouTube video that exceeds 300 million views, there are hundreds of paparazzi and journalists prying on these twentysomethings to make a mint. This usually involves speculating on the boys' love lives.

"Yeah, it can be frustrating," says Niall. "We can't really have friends who are girls, if I'm being honest. But then, on the other side, people have a job to do, so we have to let them write what they want to write, I suppose."

Who They Are... Now

In their new book, Who We Are, the group say they were naive when they started in the industry.

"We started this band with a naive and innocent view of the music business and also of life in general," they write. "We were a bunch of kids who thought it would be a good idea to stand in a queue for a TV show and see where it took us... A few years down the line, we have all become more experienced with our jobs, but we have matured and grown up as individuals. So we can't say we're the same people as those starry-eyed kids who got that break in 2010."

Forever Humble

Even after five years in the spotlight, not to mention performing on some of the biggest stages all over the globe, Harry says he is still surprised by the attention.

"I think (fame has) never been the norm for us, which is a good thing," he says. "The moment that fame isn't weird to you, you've kind of lost all sense of reality."

And Harry says the band will always be grateful for all of their success.

"When you are at school, there is nothing that really prepares you for this. It has been incredible, and we have worked really hard, and it has kind of worked out," he laughs.

"Well, 'kind of worked out' is an understatement, but for five boys who left their parents' house one day for an audition and never returned, it's, to say the least, still a little overwhelming.

"If you told me that this was going to be my life back at the audition, I would be very shocked," Niall adds. "What's happened to us over the last few years is absolutely incredible. To even stop and think that we're going to be touring Australia is just unbelievable."

1D are on tour in Australia this month.

Other Teen Stars Who Made It Big

Justin Timberlake: Like many of his fellow rivals, JT made his singing and acting debut on the TV show The Mickey Mouse Club, Mickey ears and all. These days, this superstar is performing sold-out tours, making platinum-selling records, and appearing in the occasional blockbuster film.

Ryan Gosling: Even when he was singing along to The Mickey Mouse Club theme song, we knew The Gos was going places. The actor (and guy of our dreams) is now a movie star and, most recently, a DILF.

Drake: We know him as a (ridiculously amazing) rapper, but Drake used to be known as Jimmy Brooks on the series Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Taylor Swift: The year of 2009 saw Taylor Swift catapulted into international stardom with her platinum-selling country album Fearless. These days, Taylor's hair is a little bit straighter, and she's hung up the banjo to crack the pop world, but she is still making songs that totally hook us.

WATCH

See our chat with 1D just by downloading the free viewa app from the App Store or Google Play and then hold your phone or tablet here.

[voxofthevoid]

5, 7, & 18 for the ask gameee🫶

7. Your preferred writing fonts

11-point TNR! A classic. I write in some shade of blue or purple though. This is what my current WIP looks like:

I change it to standard black when a chapter is done, which I should do for this actually. When editing, I change the font to something else and also change the color to a gradient; it's supposed to help with catching errors. I can't do that for work though since it fucks with tracked changes.

18. If you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

I've shared one of these in the last post for this ask game (it should've popped out of the queue by now), along with the answer to #5. But here's another one, this time from the scrapped first version of vulgarity (the glory and the virtue died so long ago), the fic where Gojou pretends to be asleep so Yuuji will grope him:

On second thought, Gojou shouldn’t wake up because, the way he’s positioned, he’ll be getting an eyeful of Yuuji’s dick. And it’s clothed, sure, but there’s nothing subtle about the bulge of it. His thin, damp underwear has molded to the shape, showing just how happy Yuuji is to have his pretty teacher asleep in his lap. His pretty, mostly naked teacher in mostly bare lap. It’s the most useless kind of hindsight, but Yuuji still wishes one or both of them were a little more dressed. Stripping seemed like a good idea at the time. He’d been a sweaty, stinking mess, bruised to boot, from sparring with Gojou for most of the afternoon, and when Gojou peeled off his t-shirt, shucked off his pants, and waded into the river, Yuuji was only too happy to follow. And it was fun, soaking in the cool water and splashing each other. Yuuji really liked how Gojou would transform from a brutal trainer to a goofy friend in seconds, and as much as he liked learning new things and growing stronger under Gojou, he liked the softer, warmer moments the best. He doesn’t even regret what followed—the damp, dripping trek to this tree, Yuuji sitting down and Gojou lying down with his head in Yuuji’s lap, the two of them still in their underwear. They talked for a while, and Yuuji thinks he dozed off first, their refreshing dip sweetening the exhaustion into drowsiness, and he couldn’t have been asleep for long, but when he woke, Gojou was still in his lap, soundly asleep…and way too close to his cock.

The original version had these two doing it outside in view of fish and god, but it didn't quite flow, so I changed it to the couch version I posted.

Thanks for asking 😘

List of questions here

[kiatheinsomniac]

helloooo! (im pretty new to tumblr so sorry if im sending this in the wrong place or if im doing smth wrong 😭🙏). anyway ive wanted to start writing for a while now and ive always rlly loved seeing how writers interact with their readers. based on what ive seen so far, tumblr seemed like the best place to start bc of the way it works compared to wattpad and ao3 :>

basically rn im pretty clueless as to how im supposed to approach this. ive tried looking up a few things that talk about how to manage your blog and how to be consistent with posts, but nothing rlly talks about how to start. i love your works so i was wondering if you maybe had a few tips or if u could just share how you got started in the first place :D

hey anon! don't worry, it's all cool and I love getting to talk to people from my ask b (somehow it always feels easier to reply to than a private message imo lol).

I'll hit you with my main pointers in no particular order:

-aesthetics. having a particular style of post makes your works stand out and makes your post format memorable to readers. if they're just scrolling through tags, seeing different posts of a distinct style that they like is a good way to get them to go from the tag to your blog and explore more of what you have to offer. idk about anyone else but I'm usually terrible at looking at the usernames of writers when I'm reading from tags. some examples of these distinct formats would be like how I've been using coloured banners that match my blog theme at the time, a particular colour palette perhaps, the layout of how I summarise my posts before the actual fic begins (amino has some great symbols and blog decor to copy and paste). I'll always use @edensrose as another example of having a signature post format because her pinks and aesthetics are so distinct to her blog and style. I'm pretty sure she's got lots of reblogs about how to make and find and get inspo for different blog aesthetics too!

-tags. for a blog that's starting out on a new platform, tags are so important! use all sorts on your posts that people might be searching up in any variety, all versions of that character's name maybe, popular abbreviations of the source media's name, stuff like that. it's like casting a net further out the more tags you add. this is a great way for people to initially find you and spread your posts through reblogs etc.

-be interactive. reblog from other writers! leave messages and praise in the tags! this is another great way to get people's attention so they can find your blog and it's an easy way to get mutuals too! having mutuals to talk about your interests and writing with makes the tumblr experience so much more enjoyable and it's a wonderful way of making friends. tumblr isn't as algorithm-y as other platforms like tiktok or instagram so supporting each other is important! collaborative events with writers is great fun too! basically just put yourself on people's radar!

-consistency. you can be consistent without having to write all the time. I will never stop expressing how important reblogs are for creators and communities on here. so that your followers don't think you've fallen off the face of the earth, reblog other sorts of posts in the meantime! art, memes, other people's writing, you name it. and using your queue is a great way to be consistent without having to be online all the time! you can select to add a post to your queue (where tumblr will post it depending on how many posts you want to be published from your queue each day) or you can schedule it for a specific time.

-just really put yourself out there. sending people asks can be a little intimidating but I promise you a little "hey, I really love your work and particularly liked X post! it was great!" can make someone's day, it'll never be a bother, everyone likes a bit of appreciation. You've come to me for help with anon which I don't mind but I'd have loved to be able to promote your blog a little with my reply or even been a bit nosy on your blog myself lol. I can promise you I am not some popular mean girl who's gonna sneer at you when I am literally typing this out after having just posted smut while in a catboy t-shirt 💀

[avaantares]

Guardian Bonus Bingo: Starlight (Amnesty edition)

<recipe blog intro> Sooo the past month has been one of the months of all time, between yet another bout of COVID (it's still a thing, get your booster!) and the whole workshop reg explosion (I covered that on my main rather than here, but basically it meant two weeks of panic), and then the nonsense happening with the next con I'm booked at (heavy 😒 face) which is o n g o i n g

ANYWAY

All that to say that I've not been on Tumblr regularly since... uh... the second week of July? and the majority of everything posted since then was just my queue running out. While I did remember to look up the @guardianbingo prompts and even managed to produce some content, I wasn't online to actually post said content. Thank goodness for the amnesty period.

I remember writing something for the Frustration prompt, but I... don't exactly remember where that file ended up 😅 so I'm posting Starlight first. </recipe blog>

Like the first two fills, this one is a scene that will slot into my AU YOHE fic Picture Imperfect, which will resume posting just as soon as I have two consecutive minutes free to actually edit the thing (which will not be this month. Fingers crossed for September).

-------------

It was well past sunset when Shen Wei appeared at their usual meeting place at the watchpost. Zhao Yunlan was stretched out on his back in the sparse grass. He’d barely registered the approaching footfalls when he was jolted to awareness by the alarm in Shen Wei’s voice. “Kunlun?”

“What?” Zhao Yunlan half-rolled to his side and craned his neck to look at him—or at least in the direction of his voice. He could just make out a deeper darkness silhouetted against the night sky. “What is it?”

“You—” Shen Wei froze, halfway to a crouch beside him. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Shouldn’t I be?” Zhao Yunlan strained his ears for any cries of warning or sounds of battle from below, but the night was still. “Is something wrong?”

“I thought you were… unwell.” Slowly, Shen Wei sank the rest of the way to his level. “Why are you lying on the ground?”

Zhao Yunlan dropped back to his recumbent position. “I was just looking at the sky.”

Shen Wei looked up. “Is there something noteworthy about it?”

“Just how many stars there are. It’s so dark tonight, you can really see them.” Thousands upon thousands of them, sprinkled across the sky, dense as the sand on a beach. Without the moon or artificial light to compete with their soft glimmering, the entire canopy stretching overhead seemed alive. Even the darkest parts were shaded with faint speckles, once you looked closely. “I’ve never seen a sky so full of stars.”

“Dahuangshan has no view of the sky? I thought the mountain air would be clearer.”

“They’re… obscured, where I’m from. Too much haze in the air. The light from people’s lamps bounces off it and makes it hard to see through.”

Shen Wei was silent for a moment. “There used to be more of them. Before the Calamity.”

Zhao Yunlan squinted at his silhouette. “What, the meteor knocked stars out of the sky? That doesn’t seem very likely.”

“The ash and debris thrown into the heavens from the impact blotted out the sunlight and plunged the world into sudden winter. Some of the dust fell back to the surface in the years of black snow, but the researchers say that much of it stayed high in the air, circling Haixing. They can tell somehow, with the sacred machines.”

So apparently the spaceship computer analyzed climate data, too. He really needed to get a proper look at one of those “sacred machines.”

Not tonight, though. Tonight, he was on a date—not that his companion would recognize it as such, or even know what one was. “Do you remember it?” Zhao Yunlan asked. “The sky, before the meteor? Or—no, I suppose you were still in Dixing then, weren’t you?”

“No,” Shen Wei answered quietly. Zhao Yunlan assumed he meant he couldn’t remember until he added, “I didn’t see Dixing until much later. I was born on the surface.”

“You were?” Zhao Yunlan rolled upright and shifted around to face him, though it was too dark to see. His Shen Wei had always been so tight-lipped about his past, he hadn’t expected the younger version to share anything about himself. “Where?”

“West of here.” Apparently that was all he was willing to share, because something rounded and warm was suddenly pushed into Zhao Yunlan’s hand. “I brought food. Eat while it’s hot.”

Zhao Yunlan patted around the edge of the bowl until he found the handle of a spoon poking out of it. “I had supper with the men, you know.”

“I saw what you had for supper. You need to eat more.”

Zhao Yunlan could have protested, but Shen Wei was probably right—and he wasn’t about to discourage the man from feeding him, not when he knew what culinary bliss awaited him in the distant future. He sampled the substance in the bowl. It wasn’t exactly congee, since they’d run out of rice days ago, but the texture was similar. He detected bits of wild onion and a few shreds of meat mixed in with the porridge. “What am I eating?”

“Millet, primarily. Unless you mean the rabbit.”

“We have rabbit?”

“The hunters were fortunate. They discovered a warren and brought back several.”

Rabbit wasn’t his favorite dish, but he was grateful for the additional protein. Except for the occasional smoked fish, his meals lately had been lean portions of grain and a selection of increasingly unpalatable vegetables. Even a small supplement of boiled millet and a few bites of meat might give his body the energy it needed to finish healing, and he wanted his leg back to normal as soon as possible.

When he’d finished eating, he set the bowl on the grass and maneuvered around so he could lean back against one of the boulders. “It’s been over a month,” he murmured, gazing up at the sky again. “We left Jiangyan right before the new moon, remember? That means I’ve been here around five weeks.” Air escaped him in a slow sigh. “I wonder how things are back home.”