#i'm beginning to get hyperfixated on him again

[wormsvoid]

i want to throw cheese at his bald head

[s3ggsypiranha]

mean streak (pt. 1)

synopsis to spend more time with his girlfriend, a lovesick lo'ak contracts his older brother to distract and romance you, tsireya's rough-around-the-edges, protective older sister. unfortunately for neteyam, you were determined to make this as difficult as possible.

⚝ neteyam sully x fem!metkayina reader

⚝ tags: set months after atwow, let's pretend neteyam survived ahahahahaha 😐 neteyam & reader are both kids (think 15 - 16ish), sibling stuff > romance in this ch, KING ROXTO 4 president, lo'ak simping for our girl 'reya, everyone's so introspective up in here, mean/irreverent reader, mild swearing. earth 2 neteyam girlies, it's 2025, are we still alive?

⚝ wc: 2.2k | a/n: i'm so happy to hyperfixate on avatar again yayuhhh. i'm gonna be so fr i don't have a timeframe for when the next parts come out but we will finish one day 👹 shit gets corny asf and ooc real fast but if you like that, do be seated, buckle up and enjoy the ride pookies <3

⚝ series masterlist

(ps. don't repost, im absolutely fine w reblogs)

Love sucked at Lo’ak’s mind, all mosquito-like. He sat at the edge of the festivities on a patch of sand littered with trees he claimed as his own once the crowd died down, which, much to his displeasure, amplified the growing noise of his encroaching thoughts. 

This barely plausible, esoteric thing worked for his dad, somehow, who stood by Neytiri, his eternal partner in crime. The very image of unconventional romance. A picture-perfect painting the boy couldn’t help but adore and, as befitting a lovestruck teenager, regard as such a high example of how it could be. Love.

His eyes landed on her and he racked his brain for an answer to the age-old question. How to get the girl? It seemed almost impossible.

Tsireya dawdled by the fire, donning a pearly white grin to those fortunate enough to be graced by her presence. Tsireya, Tsireya, Tsireya. Her name was a dreamlike symphony echoing through his whole being. Some suitor or other wished her a 'most auspicious name day' followed up by a mother of pearl-laden monstrosity of sorts he deduced meant to be a present. What a meathead.

Lo'ak flinched at the feel of hands squeezing at his shoulders as if harbouring the secret location of Eywa's hidden treasure. 

"Baby bro!" 

He mustered a tight-lipped scrunch. Neteyam grimaced at this lack of reaction but, determined to flip his brother's mood, shrugged it off and chose to invade enemy territory. 

"Alright, move over, skxawng," he plopped himself down next to his now ponderous sibling, making himself at home and taking extra care to sigh obnoxiously. Neteyam grinned at him, shit-eatingly so.

Lo'ak blinked, unimpressed, and his eyes assumed their initial position. In his periphery, his older brother tilted his head with an expression Lo'ak thought similar to that which Norm reserved for examining weird petri dishes in the lab. 

"OK, I'll bite. What is wrong with you?" 

Receiving so much as a shrug and a grunt, Neteyam followed his brother's line of vision. Ah... 

He chuckled, "trouble with the missus?" 

"Dude-"

"Just saying, you're beginning to look like a palulukan in heat." 

"Man, I swear-"

Neteyam raised pacifying hands. 

"Looks like this is more serious than I thought. So, the way I see it, you ought to tell big bro what is running through that head of yours.” He tapped Lo'ak's temple in emphasis, which his little brother returned with a murderous side-eye. 

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Lo'ak's ears twitched in indecision.

"Okay..." he caved and gathered the right words. "So, I like... Tsireya."

Neteyam held onto his brother's shoulder in faux shock, "No?!"

"C'mon, do you wanna listen or not!"

"Sorry, sorry, floor's yours."

Lo'ak rolled his eyes, "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted." Neteyam clutched his chest in exaggerated pain.

"I like Tsireya, like really like her. And I think she likes me back."

"That's great, bro, can you get to the part where you're having a problem?"

"I'm getting there," Feeling courageous enough to turn fully, Lo'ak faced his brother. "We've been hanging out a lot and I feel like we've really got something. I mean, she sees into me, I see into her."

Neteyam smiled, "Uh-oh, 'but' incoming?"

"But there's a bit of an issue." Lo'ak motioned his head subtly to Tsireya's spot by the fire. "Don't look now but-" 

Neteyam looked at the two girls sitting across from them. There you were in all your imposing glory, fiddling with the ends of your sister's curls as you allowed her to drone. He let his sights rest a little longer but, possessing some eerie sixth-sense, you picked up on unwanted eyes locked onto your face, turquoise hues smelting his golden gaze.

He looked up at the stars, a tree, then his brother. Whew. 

"Do you see what I mean?"

"Huh?"

Lo'ak snapped him back to reality. "Hello? The sister?"

"Ah, the sister."

"She's freaking everywhere," Lo'ak leaned back in resignation, "I can't even get in two seconds with Tsireya before she goes bat-shit."

Neteyam gave him an amused shake of the head. 

"Oh, this is funny to you? I'm being personally victimized by Tsireya's sister and you're laughing?"

"I dunno what to tell you, man. She's um-" Neteyam shivered animatedly as he watched you slap Ao'nung on the arm provoked by something he'd said. "She's terrifying. But don't take it personally," he patted his little brother on the back.

"Gee, thanks, that's really helpful," Lo'ak wormed away the reassuring touch.

"Dude, this is a well-known fact. Ask anyone," Neteyam surveyed the general vicinity and whistled for Roxto. The boy in question pointed to himself in confirmation and approached, juggling fruit in his hands. 

"Hey, guys. Can I tempt you to some yovo? It's really goo-" 

"That's nice, Roxto," Neteyam interrupted. "Hey, so, what do you think of you know?" He gestured to your spot.

Roxto paled, looking around him before asking in a hushed tone, "Is this some kind of a test?"

"Exactly," Neteyam nudged his brother.

"You know something, up until tonight, I have never seen a na'vi eat that much fish," Roxto noted. The three observed the manner in which you, for lack of a better word, horked down your umpteenth piece of roasted seafood. 

"I don't know if I should be scared or amazed. Maybe both," Roxto began to back away cautiously from the two brothers. 

"Great," Lo'ak sighed, "so it's public opinion that my girlfriend's sister's a piece of work." He raised his head helplessly to the heavens, on the brink of surrendering his frail soul to Eywa's loving arms. 

"I just wish there was some way to ward off the guard dog," Lo'ak stabbed at the sand with an incensed finger. Neteyam could only watch as his brother despaired. He'd never seen him in a lovesick slump quite like this.

Lo'ak willed his neurons to fire. He's the son of Toruk Makto, for Eywa's sake, he could be intelligent when he needed to be. How the hell do I crack this? You were a well-rounded individual. Smart and attractive, not a troll by definition, as per mentioned by his father in distant bedtime tales of sky folk. He could think of a million names belonging to suitors falling at the feet of the Metkayinan tsakarem across Awa'atlu. Sure, you could be abrasive. The mean streak you wore like a badge was old news within the village. 

He watched Tonowari ruffle your hair in the distance. You loved your family. Tsireya idolized you. He recalled how she admired your 'way of moving through the world.' And he thought, yeah, you could call it that. Moving through the world. Or, rather, against it. You always did seem to be at odds with everything, taking solace in your own company at the end of each day. What was wrong with you? Didn't you have any hobbies? You didn't seem to have a life outside of keeping your siblings in line.

Wait a minute. He looked at his brother, then shifted his eyes back to you, his brother, then you. 

It dawned on him. Shit, he was a genius.

"'Teyam, I feel bad for her." 

"For the guard dog? Why?"

"Ever noticed any friends? Boyfriend? Pet?"

"The answer would be no, big brother,” Lo'ak scratched his head innocently. “It's simple. She's got no life so she compensates by keeping her siblings on a leash."

“Huh.” 

Neteyam raised a brow and wondered deep down if he acted like this. More often than not, it felt like every day revolved around keeping everybody's asses in check. 

"Maybe her life wouldn't be so damn boring if she had something to look forward to every now and again."

Neteyam took the bait, "What are you getting at, smart guy?" 

Lo'ak, rather uncharacteristically, smiled sweetly, emulating little Tuk whenever she pressed Kiri for playtime. Four-fingered hands touched fingertips as he proposed, "How would you like to do me a favour?"

This wasn't gonna be good.

"I'm thinking you hang around Tsireya’s sister, woo her a little bit, get the mighty warrior some actio-"

"Absolutely not."

"C'mon, I'm not saying mate with her, just do your signature sweet-talk, take up some of her time..."

"You don't understand what you're asking," Neteyam laughed incredulously, "I took a bullet for that girl and all I got was a skxawng instead of a nice ‘thank you.’"

"I mean," his brother shrugged, "it was pretty stupid."

"I almost died!" he squawked.

"Past is past, man, and today, you're my only hope," Lo'ak implored, glassy-eyed, "it's rough out here!"

"Eh... not my problem, pipsqueak."

"I'll do your chores for a month."

"Yeah? I've got a feeling you won't-"

"Two months!" Lo'ak closed his eyes. It was worth it, he thought, overstimulating on thoughts of Tsireya's bubbly laughter to outweigh the prospect of having to scoop up ikran shit for the next few eclipses. He opened an eye to see Neteyam turning to leave. "And a week in advance!"

That piqued his brother's interest.

"...keep talking."

"All I ask is that you keep her preoccupied," Neteyam sat down. Lo'ak took this as a sign that he reeled him in, "and that can look however you want it to look like. Romance her, befriend her, I don't care. Just, please, would you buy me a little time?"

Neteyam heaved a sigh. "Even if I wanted to help you,” he rubbed his face, “this is just plain wrong and, not to mention, stupid." 

What was Lo'ak thinking? His brother started to sound uncannily like their dad, a true reflection of young Jake carving his heart out as an offering to the olo'eyktan's daughter. Albeit being a walking safety-hazard, you were a real person with real feelings not built for tampering with. Anybody deserved better than that. You deserved better than that and, besides, Neteyam would not be taking his chances against Tonowari should things go south. Not today. No, sir.

"Okay... I guess you're right," Lo'ak nodded.

"I am?" 

"Sure, man," Lo'ak stood up, "which is why I'll ask my good friend Roxto to do it-"

"Boy, sit back down," Neteyam yanked him by the tail. 

"Y-ouch, bro, totally uncalled for-" Lo'ak planted himself on the ground, tail keeping a world of distance away from his brother's hands.

"You ready to talk terms?"

Neteyam allowed himself one last look at you, your scowl, your confronting stance made more menacing by an air of defiance, and your... hair. You had nice hair, okay? He was prepared to die on that hill. You were not somebody to be messed with. Woe betide those daring enough to disturb the terrifying tranquility you constructed to a tee. How you tirelessly subverted expectation after expectation as your mother's successor, he would never fully comprehend, as previously being born into clan royalty himself. But it was something he respected, bordering on admired, about you. And this was a fact Neteyam was wary to admit to for some strange reason. He couldn't pinpoint it if he tried, always running through his mind too fast for his liking. It was confusing, consuming even. When it came to thinking of you, he was always left in shambles. 

Which is why he couldn't have prepared himself for the chilling clarity that accompanied his next answer.

"Fine."

Surely, something was in the air. Something, just something must have puppeteered him into complying because he was so sure the moral high ground would have won this fight today.

"That's the spirit!" Lo'ak whooped in delight, transporting Neteyam back to the moment Norm allowed them chocolate for the first time. 

"But I want a fortnight in advance.”

Neteyam watched Lo'ak descend into space, making the necessary calculations in his mind, "Unless, of course, you change your mind-"

"You have yourself a deal." 

They shook on it, comically, and Neteyam leaned in to whisper lowly, "And if I ever feel like she's gonna get hurt, well, I'm obligated to tell the truth."

"I'm obligated to tell the truth- whatever, man," Lo'ak pushed his shoulder, "Also, ever heard of this thing called a bath? I'm catching a stench..."

"Hey, if I were you, I'd be a little nicer to your salvation," Neteyam mussed up his brother's braids.

"Mind-" Lo'ak slapped his hand away, fixing his prized locs, "the hair."

"Go and get me some water, little brother," he casually tossed him a bowl. Neteyam straightened his spine, flexing intertwined fingers in a stretch, "Let's see how the mighty warrior gets business done around here."

Lo'ak scoffed, muttering a quaint dumbass under his breath as he watched his older brother break into a saunter, moreso a moonwalk, in your direction. 

With bated breath, Neteyam slid next to you on the boulder you occupied. Your eyes widened at the intrusion, pupils dangerously teetering to your right where he was. 

He mustered his most gentlemanly greeting. Chivalry itself shivered at this display of charisma.

“Hey.”

You shifted to the left. 

"What do you want?" 

Neteyam felt small before your violent scrutiny and he smiled an antsy smile.

"Uhm, I was just wondering if you ever wanted to-"

"No."

"You didn’t even let me finish-"

You raised a finger.

"So, you're saying there's no chance we could-"

You wagged it.

"Uh-uh."

Neteyam hung his head, "are you sure though-"

"For the last time, tree boy," you smiled sadistically, professing a loud, “NO.”

You sent him away with a regal wave of your hand. 

"Okay… good talk," Neteyam left your side, in a slumpier manner than when he joined it. 

"Hey, buddy. I saw you out there," Lo'ak winced, rushing to his aid with a bowl of water, "Not too shabby for a first try, eh, mighty warrior?”

"I don't want to talk about it."

Neteyam drank the pity water, replaying the moment in his head. 

“Yeah...” Lo'ak clapped the frowning, despondent thing that was once his brother on the back. 

"I've got some notes."

(queens, im making a taglist 4 those interested, just don't be shy and holla at yo gurl <3)

[kitchensinksurrealism]

idk why this got so many notes all of a sudden but basically I didn't mean this as like "being embarrassed about a hyperfixation"

I'm pretty sure it was originally about when I fancied a fictional guy but didn't want anyone to realise, not in a 'hyperfixation shame way' but more in the way of some kid with their first crush being like "nooooooo of course I don't like him 🥰"

does anyone else find getting a new hyperfixation so embarrassing bc like other people are watching you in real time gradually becoming unwell about some piece of media. they're just watching it happen before their eyes idk why that's so awkward

[cantimtoogay]

Ever think about how pro-women the apothecary dairies are? I do, and now I'm writing an entire thing about it because hyperfixation go brrrrrrr. 

WARNING!! HERE BE SPOILERS FOR LIKE… EVERYTHING UP TO LN 8!! 

If you don’t know, The Apothecary Diaries are a series of japanese light novels that were adapted into a manga, which were then adapted into an anime. The mc of the series is a girl named Maomao, who is an incredibly intelligent apothecary with a wide knowledge of poisons and medicine. Through various series of shenanigans, she goes from being a regular servant in the Rear Palace, where the Emperor’s consorts live, to being the food taster for one of the major consorts, then briefly working in the pleasure district (basically a red light district) where she grew up, then begins working for the manager of the rear palace, who is also Maomao’s love interest. Along the way, she stumbles onto and solves various mysteries, which is the bigger gimmick of the series. Now, if you were to watch the anime, read the manga, or read the light novels, something you’ll notice if you pay attention is how much power women hold. It isn’t an open, loud and proud thing, it’s set in imperial china in the 17th century at the earliest, but if you look for it even a little, you will find it very easily. I want to talk about a few things, but the one’s I’ll highlight right now are Maomao, naturally, the Empresses Dowager and Regent, and various other women from the manga and light novels that’ll probably spiral into tangents. 

So. Maomao. If she suddenly decided to really wield the power that she has access to, she could easily be one of the top 5 most powerful women in Li, probably top 3. Here are some of the ways she has insane access to political power: 

She is Lakan’s absolute darling daughter, no matter how much she does not want anything to do with him. In his eyes, she can do NO wrong. Lakan is such a powerful man that even the Emperor is hesitant to do anything that would upset him

Related to previous, she is Lahan’s younger sister, again against her wishes, and he holds an affection towards her that mirrors their father’s. Lahan isn’t as important as Lakan, but he’s important enough to go on big diplomatic missions with the Emperor’s younger brother

She has the favor of all 4 of the recent High Consorts of the Emperor: Gyokyou, who I’ll get back to, Lihua, Lishu, and Ah Duo. I’m not counting Lou Lan/Shisui since she isn’t a consort for very long and is disgraced/will be disgraced. 

Gyokyou?? Hello?? Maomao saved both her life and the life of her infant daughter, tasted her food, and tended to her when she was pregnant with her son, and even taught her ways to help pleasure the Emperor better

Saved Lihua’s life twice over; once by removing the toxic white powder and nursing her back to health, and the other by foiling a plot by her sister/chief lady-in-waiting

Personally requested by both the Emperor and the Empress Dowager to do tasks for them

Best for last: Jinshi. He is so down bad for her it’s hilarious and kinda pathetic. Poor guy. Anyways, HE’S THE IMPERIAL YOUNGER BROTHER. His claim to the throne is still up for debate at the point where I’ve gotten to, so there’s still a chance he could be the literal Emperor. AND HE WANTS MAOMAO AS HIS WIFE!!! He wants to marry Maomao! And he’s told her this! There’s a chance that Maomao could be Empress! Even if he doesn’t become Emperor and he marries her, that would still put her around the same power level as Gyokyou, who is the current Empress, and Anshi, the Empress Dowager (aka the Emperor and Jinshi’s mother)

If Maomao really wanted to grab her life by the reins and fuck shit up, she could embrace the La name, marry Jinshi, almost certainly have the backing of Gyokyou and therefore the Emperor, and probably also Lihua and Ah Duo. I can’t see her actually doing it, but it’d be fun to imagine…

Next, the Empresses Dowager and Regent. We’ll start with the Empress Dowager, the Emperor and Jinshi’s mother, who we’ll just refer to as Anshi for simplicity. It’s mentioned multiple times just how much influence she has. She was almost single handedly responsible for ending the making of eunuchs and taking of slaves, and she did that while dealing with the late Emperor. It’s said that the Grand Marshall was put in place by her, and he remains exceptionally loyal to her. She dealt with the late Emperor, placing such a fear of women into him that he stopped going after young girls (Yeah, the late Emperor was a pedo, if you weren’t aware). And now, Anshi is an extremely respected figure with power over the major players of Li. 

The Empress Regent… If I were to talk about everything she did, we’d be here for hours. But she essentially took control of Li during the reign of the late Emperor, who was a fool unfit to rule. You cannot understate the impact she had, and her legacy haunts the narrative. She is one of the easiest characters to point to as an example when you talk about women’s power in TAD.

Miscellaneous characters lightning round! GO!

Shisui’s Mother; leader of the Shi clan, the one orchestrating the entire coup against the Emperor

Shisui; was a consort, but was a very smart spy who would find out information from other consorts, and eventually sacrificed herself to pull all the blame onto her and the Shi clan and make them the villains, before faking her death and escaping to live her life in another country

Ayla; one of the foreign emissaries, seems to hold a lot of power in Shaoh currently and was providing weapons for the Shi coup

Suirei; basically Ah Duo’s closest advisor currently, and extremely medically minded like Maomao, so they get along very easily

The High Consorts; the women closest to the Emperor, pissing them off is a bad idea because they can and will ruin you (Except for Lishu, but she’s so extremely unlucky that everything does its thing for her)

The Shrine Maiden; the most powerful woman in Shaoh for basically her entire life, unseated the former Emperor as a baby (if you say that she’s not a woman because she was born with a penis you will be blocked, no if’s, and’s, or but’s)

The White Lady; so, so many crimes. Had an entire network of stuff going on in which she used her albinism to appear as an immortal to commit her many crimes

In TAD, 9 times out of 10, you pick a powerful character, it’s gonna be a woman. This series adores women and celebrates them whenever possible, whether it’s something small like an emissary from 50 years ago finding Grams so otherworldly beautiful he described her as a moon nymph, to something as major as basically Anshi’s entire character and her backstory and relationship with the late Emperor. And when something tears women down, like marriage standards or the binding of feet, the series denounces it through Maomao. When Maomao isn’t taken seriously by other characters, it’s treated as an obstacle and that character is seen as an antagonist or villain. The male characters we like, Jinshi, Gaoshun, the Emperor, Basen, Lihaku, Sazen, Kokuyou, they all hold Maomao in high regards and respect her opinion, listening when she proposes theories. It’s the women that push things forward, that introduce the conflicts and try to seize power and foil plots and solve mysteries. 

The men with power don’t really do anything with it, but the women do everything.

[laserbobcat]

Will we ever get to see the bishops in your swap au, and if so do they act any differently to the original bishops?

I draw Leshy a lot cause he's the first one to pop.

Ok basically, I tend to draw chronologically? As much as I can. And because I keep getting distracted, I stay stuck near the beginning of the polycult storyline. So the bishops aren't coming anytime soon. ALSO there's too much characters... I'm already struggling to draw the ones I'm on, I tend to obsess on a pair when I draw characters. It's the Lamb who would have an extremely violent reaction to the bishop's arrival. It's not resentment as much as it is fear, and it's hard to keep them from murdering them on sight. They're angry at Narinder for the first time ever because of it. Beating them and taking the crown didn't matter, but that is felt as a betrayal, and make them distance themselves from him.

Narinder treats the bishops surprisingly respectfully. He's also a murderous all powerful god now. There's a strange understanding there. He has plans to hopefully get information from them about the cats they killed. He's the god of death and revival, he hopes that maybe, just maybe, he can get some of them back with some diplomacy and clever magic.

Seeing his lamb lose their mind is so painful that he sincerely offers to give up, and just murder Leshy, and the others when they're freed. But they stop him before he does, they know how hard it is that his entire species is gone. They make him swear to not let their siblings hurt or trap them again. Their relationship takes a serious hit and gets way colder after that.

The siblings try to approach the Lamb, especially Leshy who's always been their partner in crime, but there's no opening there for the longest time. He barely avoids a scythe to his neck more than once. Imprisoning them was a hard choice, and they pleaded and reasoned and threatened a lot before coming to that. But that Lamb is playful, irresponsible and selfish, and just wouldn't stop experimenting despite the consequences. Heket in particular is still angry, but all of them miss the good old days when they all laughed together at their siblings shenanigans, before they were blindly destructive.

I realize I kinda wrote that Lamb as a fey creature there. Morally grey at best, incredibly caring for what they love, dismissing of what they don't care about, so focused on what's fun that they lose sight of the consequences. They're the first to admit that Narinder is such a better god than them.

I think i put all the angst I didn't put in my first storyline in this AU, so there's double the sadness here, lol

I hope you enjoy reading novels, hyperfixation brain goes brrrr

[bugsmunched]

"My man💕" - Logan Howlett x Trans! Man! Reader!

Summary: Logan is very upset on Readers behalf after a visit to his transphobic parents.

Tw: TRANSPHOBIA, reader uses he/him pronouns, reader is AFAB, reader has transphobic parents, reader has internalized transphobia, reader is trans and has been out for several years, Logan is very mad on readers behalf, grumpy Logan, sweet fluff

WC: 1,231

Requests are open! I'm specifically hyperfixated on Deadpool and Wolverine rn but I'm also working on a Charles Xavier x Male reader x Erik lensherr fic!

Sorry if this is bad lol, it's a little self indulgent and I also wrote it at work in one day without proof reading it.

Logan was fuming when you both came home - but not at you, no never at you. He was mad for you this time, nostrils flared as the door slammed shut behind him.

“Lo’ I told you it's fin-”

“It's not fine Y/n. It's far from fine. “ Logan growled, tossing his jacket onto a nearby chair.

The two of you had just returned from your parents house – you were introducing Logan to your parents. He knew that they weren't the most accepting in the whole world, but what you hadn't told him is that they still refused to gender you correctly, even after being on HRT for several years.

“They're always like that, Logan, it's fine, really. “ You tried to reassure your grumpy boyfriend , but to no avail.

“How is that fine?! They dead-named you repeatedly! “

You could feel yourself beginning to become upset from the dinner, but not Logan's behavior. He was justified in his anger, but you were just tired. Tired of your parents' ignorance and hateful actions. You let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes for a moment. This whole night was giving you a headache. “It's just who they are, Logan. They're still my parents. “

“Still your parents?! Fuck that. They don't deserve to talk to you, and they definitely don't deserve your attention.”

You swallowed back some tears as you collapsed onto the couch, holding your head in your hands. “just drop it.” You muttered quietly, staring at the floor, avoiding Logan's watchful gaze.

Logan opened his mouth to speak again but turned to look at you, his heart dropping at the sight. “I didn't mean to upset you, sweetheart. “ He said softly, his tone switching up in an instant. He walked around to the front of the couch and kneeled in front of you, cautiously placing a hand on your knee.

“You're fine Logan. You have every right to be upset. You have every right to be angry at my parents…and at me.”

“Be mad at you? Sweetheart, why on earth, this one or any other, would I be mad at you??” He asked, suddenly very concerned.

“ Because I didn't tell you the truth…and because I just let it happen…every time. I just let them misgender me. I have no backbone…” You muttered dejectedly.

“Oh my handsome boy…look at me. “ he whispered softly as he slipped a finger under your chin, making you look at him. Your eyes were glossed over as you held back tears.

“I would never ever blame you for this. This is not your fault. Your parents’ stupidity is not your fault, it never has been and never will be. You had hoped that they would behave themselves for a guest…but it is not your fault that behaved so badly. “ He said as he moved his hand up, cupping your cheek gently. He rubbed your cheek with his coarse thumb, watching as you hesitantly leaned into his touch.

“I'm sorry for getting so upset and causing a scene at dinner. I didn't mean to embarrass your mother like that, sweetheart. I just couldn't take it anymore.” He apologized sincerely, his voice calm and gentle. “ I just don't understand how they could look at you, my handsome baby boy, and honestly call you a girl. I mean they might've just as well called me ‘she’ and referred to me as like Anne or some shit. “

That made you laugh, just a little bit, which made your gruff boyfriend smile. “ There he is…there's my boy. “ He said encouragingly.

You sniffled a little bit, nuzzling into his rough, calloused hand. “ they're right though…I'm not a ‘real man’. And I never will be…”

“I'm sorry. What?” Logan asked, pulling his hand away from your face, standing up. “ They told you that?” His voice became rough, his breathing became heavy. You whined a little bit at the loss of his warm hand pressed against your skin.

“Yeah they've like…told me that every time I see them. They want to make sure that I know I'm not a real man. That I'm just an imposter. “

You could see Logan's eyes darken, his hands tensing as his claws threatened to slip free as he loomed over you. “That's it. No one tells my boy that. I don't care if they're your parents. They need to be taught a lesson- cause what they're spitting is horse shit. “

“Calm down! “ You said quickly, standing up and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Just, calm down Logan. “ He could see panic in your eyes, and instantly his muscles relaxed.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I got a little carried away there. “ He muttered softly, flexing his hands gently to relax them so his claws would appear. He rubbed the back of his neck a bit sheepishly. “ But seriously, what they're spitting is horse shit. You are a real man, I mean just look at you. “ He gestured to your body, letting his gaze wander a little bit.

“You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend, you feel like you have to. But they're right…” you muttered, shying away from his piercing gaze.

“No. “ He growled a little bit, but he wasn't growling at you, just the meaning of your words. They frustrated him, to know that you didn't perceive yourself as a “real man” - if there even was such a thing as a real man. He grabbed your face with both of his hands, forcing you to look up at him since you were now both standing. “Sweetheart, in no world are your parents correct about that. Not this universe or any other. Just because you weren't born in a man's body does not make you any less of a man. There is no blueprint for what makes a man, you make your own blueprint. You're a real man, you just happen to be a self made man. “ He said softly, stroking the sides of your face.

You nuzzled into his hands once more, eyes fluttering shut for hair a moment. “ Do you mean it Logan?” You asked softly, worried that he was lying about the whole thing. You always worried if he perceived you as a man in your relationship. You always worried that he only treated you with love because he truly saw you as a woman.

You had shared some of those thoughts with him in the past, and just like now he shut that down immediately. There was absolutely no chance he was going to let you think that he didn't see you as what you are : a man.

“Of course I mean it, baby. You're my man after all, and why would I lie to my man?” He asked softly as he pulled you close to his chest, your chest pressing flush against him. You could hear his heartbeat, steady as ever.

After a few moments of silence, with your face buried in his chest, Logan missed the top of your head gently before beginning to stroke your hair softly. “Can we make a deal though?”

“What kind of deal, Lo?”

“If we ever go over to your parents house I get to curse them out. “

You chuckled a little bit and nodded against his chest. “ I can deal with that…”

Silence fell over the room once again, the two of you intertwined in a tight embrace.

“Thank you, Logan. “

“No problem, sweetheart. “

[thedevilsoftruth]

NSFW Gyomei Hcs! to get your mind off the fuckin election

💚💚💚

What's up you sexy mother fuckers. Yeah I'm back, don't write my obituary yet because I'm back. Back with another hyperfixation and as horny as ever. Please take these Gyomei Hcs as an apology for being gone for so long. By the way, requests are open again. Please do not be afraid to request me something! Enjoy, I love you!

Let's get down to the basics; Gyomei is gentle and... kind of vanilla when it comes to sex. His sex drive isn't that high, but he is 100% willing to attend to your sexual needs if it means you will be happy and satisfied in the end.

Because he cannot see you, he relies on of his other main senses to guide him through intimacy.

He does not mind if you are moving around a lot like jerking, shaking and clenching your thighs. He actually really likes it and never gets frustrated when you do it. He really needs to feel his affects on you because he cannot see you.

And maybe during your first sexual encounters with him, you can teach him the parts of you that you like being touched the most.

Little bit if a size kink. He likes feeling how big he is compared to you. It's like you're a tiny little bug in the palm of his hands--and oh, the feeling he gets whenever he holds you in his arms. It's like you were made for him outside and...inside.

Big, huge, gigantic, praiser. That man is worshipping your body like it's a fucking temple whenever he makes love to you. I'm talking kisses everywhere and constant words or encouragement.

He knows he's big too. That's why he prefers giving you foreplay before he begins actual penetration.

He's constantly holding your hand through sex, always kissing you, always telling you how good you're taking him.

Safeword just Incase things get too much for you to handle.

He doesn't really like doing it anywhere else but the bedroom, however he is willing to in the bathroom. Even though he still prefers the bedroom.

You are 100% safe with this man. In fact, he will occasionally check up on you to make sure you are okay and will ask if there's anything you need.

Willing to try other sexual activities as long as it means you are satisfied and happy in the end.

Aftercare is amazing. Will massage you afterwards and occasionally through the next day. Bubble baths and words of praise are a must, also.

Breeding kink. I'm just gonna leave this here.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

Branded Pairing Heteronormativity and the Subtle ways that First and Khaotung Spill Outside Those Outlines

Right off the bat I'm going to absolve myself of all culpability by saying that this is a solicited opinion so all anon hate can go to @kattyangel 🤣. The second thing is that this is an opinion that will talk about very nuanced subjective topics like heteronormative standards and conventional attractiveness in a country I'm not even from so go into it knowing that even subtle shifts in worldview can change the way we perceive these things. My only claim to fame here is that fan service is my hyperfixation and I have watched at least couples compilation videos of all GMM branded pairs but for the vast majority of them have watched shows/vlogs/interviews fairly extensively. So without any further ado let's get into what the connection is between First's height and his pairing's inability to perform heteronormativity well. A branded pair has two main ways of connecting to heteronormativity. One is via the individual's connection to their audience which at this point we know is majority female with some degree of romantic interest in men. Second, is via the dynamics of the couple itself.

For example, the ideal pairing is someone who's individual unit BOTH seem like they are interested in women but when put together can also believably fall into a 'top' and 'bottom' role. The categories of 'top' and 'bottom' here follow from the yaoi 'seme' and 'uke' narrative traditions but its less about who penetrates or is being penetrated and more along the lines of who's 'the wife and who's the husband' which is just a confusing mix of relative closeness to femininity, perceived dominance and certain physical features like height/resting bitch face and skin color.

The vast majority of branded pairs fall under this paradigm at GMM: GeminiFourth, TayNew, BrightWin, JoongDunk, PondPhuwin, ForceBook and the recently officially divorced Ohmnanon.

If the individuals have a strong connection to heteronormativity themselves, but fail to perform it with each other then they tend to fail like PerthChimon. So what happens when individuals within the unit aren't that straight to begin with? If at least one can perform traditional masculinity then they're in the clear! Famously, OffGun are husband and wife like no other and I hope they and Off's voodoo dolls of him and Gun prosper for the length of their lives. This format of pairings is not that common in GMM but litter the industry quite a bit, Zeenunew and MaxNat are pairings I'm quite familiar with that follow this.

What happens when both have low affinity towards traditional masculinity (especially in the way they interact with fans) or they're a little too queer in their dynamic for heteronormativity? Well that leaves you with *my* favorite pairings: EarthMix and FirstKhaotung But they're challenged in slightly different ways. EarthMix's primary dilemma comes from the fact that they're very likely actually dating and gay couples sometimes just won't have a heteronormative dynamic. Mix has always rebelled against being 'bottom' and he's usually the one refusing to play this game. Earth on the other hand just with his natural old man tendencies still fits into the top/husband role well while Mix can be pigeonholed into bratty wife/bottom when push comes to shove. But oh my poor sweet First, born with the personality of a man who's at least 5 inches shorter than him and obsessed with his idiot best friend who hated being the good little wife during his PoddKhao era so much that he really came into Firstkhao with his arms swinging like 'never again'. First and Khaotung have their personalities and aesthetics switched. Khaotung is both the more effeminate of the two and also the more dominant. If you've been following their dynamic since The Eclipse then you will know immediately what I'm talking about. So much of The Eclipse fan service felt like they were playing out top and bottom in reverse and then just remembering that First is indeed Too Tall for this to ever work lmao. I'm struggling to think of a single pair other than PerthSaint where the top was shorter let alone a full 4 inches. I mean fans nearly staged a coup at an event to have them renamed Khaofirst and I feel like they had come so close to convincing First too 😂 They've changed a lot now and Khaotung has cooled it, maybe to be more helpful to First but primarily because I think he's discovered that being the bottom in this dynamic comes with added benefits of being a sugar baby princess who gets waited on hand and foot. But First is also a sugar baby princess which is why he says things like 'I'm trying to be cool' or doing something macho and then immediately undercutting himself with a nervous little 'Was that cool?' or whining at fans to stop flirting with Khaotung instead of having a possessive lover dialogue like Phuwin's little 'you can flirt with him but he needs my permission to flirt with you'. First is performing machismo slightly worse than the 'bottom' of a different pair like what can I say askdjkfhdjh

Firstkhao are doing husband and wife well on stage nowadays but I think in less practiced formats they will revert to their original dynamic and First's 'top' persona breaks often. They hit a besotted wifeman equilibrium for First sometime during only friends and that kind of works for them both and I think they're trying to stay there for the most part. But that's what people who like First and Khaotung like. A vast majority of lesbians fall under the category of besotted wifeman so I mean it's really working out for me. It's just that sometimes it's a little painful seeing First try so hard to be more like Kant in RL and I'm just like babygirl please you're fine your friend over there looks like he likes getting fucked in the ass no matter what you do but alas 😔 Meanwhile every time Khaotung acts like a naive little helpless baby it feels like he's taken another step towards nirvana.

[bvnnyl0v3r]

what happens when you watch your fav childhood show and begin hyperfixating on a character? This.

Also some shit that is CANON and you can not argue with bc it is. In the show.

Mf growl like full on "raaaaahhhherrr" when he's annoyed/angry

he lowkey cares abt mia, yuko and mo (although he tries to 'hide' it)

Since the ceremony was 'officially' held with king raynor in ep 23 season 1, he is a knight of centopia. Like i'm serious.

he is SMART. He fixed an entire defense system that he had NEVER seen before. The king and queen (probably together with Phuddle lets be honest) made the water dome, since king raynor was seen fixing it. Polytheus just....fixed everything what had been bothering the elves for DAYS and would have taken them MORE DAYS within MINUTES not even considering the way he had to make from one beam to the other-

he says he's not interested in the "politics" of centopia, even though he definetly fucked around with gargona, rixel and panthea's schemes. He literally helped them.

that being said he is neither good nor bad...he just exists. My man helps both sides even if he has a closer relationship to mia and the others, he's still pretty self centered and cares about profit the most.

he speaks kinda high english "good gracious" is an example he uses

he stores his food rescourses in a hole underground, he quite literally has food that could last him for MONTHS.

Only 'person' he cares about more than his profit is buttercup. He literally forgave her for eating all the food even though he was rightfully pissed, heck he even felt bad he told her off. (Even if he apologized only after mia and her friends told him how to but he still did it and he MEANT it.)

he also cuddles with buttercup, he's done it atleast once on screen.

no i'm serious he gave up the most expensive thing he had ever owned just to see her again.

he may care about profit the most but he HATES stealing. He may not always be 100% fair but he would NEVER take without giving. He got highly offended when being accused of theft and even told mia and her friends that they shouldn't steal from gargona because he made a fair deal with her before they could WICH then turned out to be a trap for gargona. He may have given her a fraud but only because she gave him a fraud first.

that being said he can easily spot the tiniest difference between things, he has a sharp eye.

his tails is literally like a third hand.

it's common knowledge around centopia that EVERYONE gets their jewlery from polytheus

the little snakes in his hair open their mouth when he opens he opens it (to speak for example)

he is a quick writer, there's a scene in season two where he writes a note to rixel in like two seconds.

he sacrifised a golden statue for onchau to survive.

at the beginning of the crystal ep, season two you can see that he has no "bestfriend" wich is false because his bestfriend is buttercup. Now you may say that it doesn't count because buttercup is a turtle BUT if mia can have onchau as a bestfriend, an alicorn she can communicate with, polytheus should be able to see butercup as a bestfriend because he deeply cares about her and can talk to her. Buttercup is just as sentient and conscious of a being as onchau so I really don't get this episode especially because at the end it's supposedly mia who's his best friend.

he LOVES H20 SO freaking much

he doesn't like dragons

he's really good at restoring and fixing all kinds of complex and simple things. Wether it be making a broken and old statue into a beautiful fountain or fix an entire defense system within MINUTES WITH WOULD TAKE A NORMAL ELVE TEAM FUCKING WEEKS.

YOU DON'T GET HOW MUCH OF A GENIUS HE MUST BE!

HE'S NEVER SEEN THE DEFENSE SYSTEM BEFORE!

HE HADN'T EVEN SEEN THE BLUEPRINT.

all this being said, my boy polytheus? UNDERRATED AS FUCK

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Hey guys I'm awake and well now let's continue (Rook's Dream):

We find ourselves in Savanclaw where we find Savanaclaw Rook and I honestly love him here he looks like a dog I left outside in the rain by accident (affectionate)

Now everone's confused as to why Rook's in Savanaclaw, but then Rook drops the bomb that Vil is in RSA and everyone's like "WHAT?!"

Stop Rook is literally just being the biggest neigevil oshi cuz he just wants Vil and Neige to be besties 😭. He's so open about it too like he's literally geeking about their interviews together to the point that he's squeezing Grim and Epel cuz he got too excited (he's so fr for that honestly). But then Sebek snaps and Rook apologizes because no one in Savanaclaw is a neigevil fan as well :((

But Ortho encourages Rook by wanting to visit his room so that they can learn about Neige and Vil. Grim questions the decision, but that's like the only way they can break Rook out of the dream, and now Rook's just murmuring to himself and how he will introduce them to Vil and Neige

Once they're near Rook's room he literally told them not to barge into his room and the gang did exactly what they're not supposed to do

AND OH MY GOD ROOK'S ROOM IS JUST????

(pov: you're in a neigevil oshi competition but your opponent is rook hunt)

SEBEK THOUGHT THIS WAS A RITUAL ROOM FOR A SECOND AND ROOK IS CURRENTLY LOSING IT 😭😭😭. Apparently Rook has been hiding his hyperfixation for THREE YEARS and he can't just let the group go...until they watch DVDs of neigevil interactions

This went on for five hours and Rook was gushing, sobbing and crying over it, Silver actually slept for the first time in the realm of dreams because of this 💀. Before the group leaves, Epel couldn't help but ask Rook if he still remembers what happened during VDC, an d Rook mentions that he remembers that Vil and Neige performed "Yahoo, Yahoo" together.

The group meets again with Idia, and they're discussing the events of Book 5, and how the entire incident during VDC might have been the root cause for Rook's dream to turn out like this. Because in this dream, Rook never transfers to Pomefiore because Vil was never in NRC to begin with. Rook was most likely haunted by that incident because he trusted Vil so much, that he'd rather have Vil and Neige be friends instead of rivals to prevent the whole overblot situation

SO NOW THE GANG IS THINKING OF A WAY TO WAKE UP ROOK BY PERFORMING ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

(I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE WHOLE THING YA'LL TO WHOEVER HAS A LINK TO THE RHYTHMIC PLS SEND IT TO MEEEEEE)

But their positions are the following: Vil - Epel Jamil - Ortho Epel - Sebek Kalim - Yuu Ace - Grim Deuce - Silver

Basically Epel had to teach the others the entire choreography of Absolutely Beautiful and he said it's fine if they don't perfect it because in the original they weren't able to perfect it as well. But then everything suddenly goes blurry and we get dream Vil and dream Neige suddenly performing "Yahoo, Yahoo", and now Rook is back to being an oshi again.

But Epel wasn't having it, he points out to Rook that the real Vil looks more sinister and had a more sharper look to him and that he was more poisonous and beautiful. That's when Epel told Rook that he was a far worse traitor back when he voted for RSA if he tells the words that Vil wanted to hear to the fakes.

That wakes Rook up, he remembers everything now because he was wondering why he cried during their Absolutely Beautiful performance. Idia then gives Rook the "invite" to join them as well. Rook changes clothes and fights

Btw I just wanna show you guys his groovy here because it's that special to me

Idia was laughing because he now has a video of Sebek dancing and Sebek is just yelling at him that he won't forgive him if he showed it to anyone.

Surprisingly Rook mastered thew magical girl transformation faster than the gang, but they're learning. Rook also tags along with the gang to save the last person, Vil

AND WE'RE DONE WITH ROOK'S DREAM, JESUS CHRIST IT GOES FROM UNSERIOUS TO SERIOUS IT'S FUNNY. But I'm covering Vil's dream last, see you then!

Next: Vil's Dream Previous: Epel's Dream

[ohdeerfully]

Hello

I live

Well, barely

OMG ISTG I JUST REREAD LIKE ALL OF YOUR FICS I'M GOING SGSJDGDJHFJDY

Your writing. I swear. It's so good. Like when I read any other alastor x reader fic I have this nasty voice in the back of my head going 'He wouldn't do this'. THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN HERE

You are a genius. (Thabk you for speepy Alastor coming from an insomniac is good praise, no?)

My personal favourites are

a. Either of the sleepy Alastoe fics (obviously)

b. Dry bed. Istg the writing in that.. Augh

Could you do a part two to Dry bed? Maybe they just wake up (Together!!!) and awkwardly get their way down to breakfast. Then they simply avoid each other all day, not talking, but still stealing glances at each other when the other isn't looking. Then reader finds Alastor chilling on the hotel roof the following night and they TALK about it. And figure things out.

Omg thabk you for listening to my rant I hope you are doing well byeeee

~❤✨

P. S. You and your fics are my new hyperfixation

hello!!!!! in general sorry yall for my absence, finals are literally next week so it Will happen again

im so glad u like my depiction of alastor hes literally so annoying to write... a dry bed is honestly probably one of if not THE fave fic ive written (though might be a tie with mourning dove) so i hope part ii does it a bit of justice (,: i kind of deviated from ur request at the beginning (they dont wake up together >_<) but otherwise i hope u enjoy! hopefully its not too obvious i kind of rushed it

mwah! <3

A Warm Bed

(sequel to A Dry Bed)

Alastor x Reader (hurt/comfort, fluff) TW: none really, alastor is probs ooc but who cares

join my discord!

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It felt a little bit too cold when you woke up, but you couldn’t immediately find a reason why. Your eyes squinted open, facing the curtains that were drawn just enough to where a peek of the morning light rudely shone against your face. You turned over with a dissatisfied groan.

Peering at the empty bed beside you, you stared blankly as wheels began to turn in your mind. It only took a few seconds to remember the previous night, and your face quickly warned as you hissed in a breath through clenched teeth, wrists coming up and rubbing your eyes with a sense of dismay.

Man, what were you thinking. You felt a strong mixture of regret and embarrassment but also… you felt lonely. The strong, strange affection from Alastor the previous night directly compared to him disappearing and leaving you alone in the morning made you feel all the more cold. The room also had an uncomfortable silence to it, but at the same time too loud with the hum of your ceiling fan.

Whatever, you feigned indifference to yourself and lifted yourself from your mattress, legs dangling over the side of your bed for a few moments, allowing yourself to get a quick stretch in before sliding on some comfortable slippers while you went to your restroom, protecting your feet against the cold tile.

You quickly freshened up, pulling on some comfortable loungewear before leaving your hotel room and walking down the long corridor that led to the steps. Maybe it was just your current mood, but the ambience was too quiet and uncomfortable.

Your spirits slowly lifted as you made your way down the steps, and you could hear the faint clashing of kitchen tools being dropped and thrown, alongside unintelligible and arguing voices, one doubtlessly being Vaggie trying to tame—or, no, threaten—the chaos.

The air, at the very least, smelled good despite the racquet. Though you were in Hell, the food was still appetizing—even if you weren’t exactly sure what it was half the time.

You must’ve made it just in time, as right when you turned the corner you nearly hit your head against Charlie’s shoulder as she rounded the same corner. You tripped over each other for a moment before she ultimately steadied you with a hand and a breezy laugh.

"Good morning! I was just about to tell everyone breakfast was ready…” You smiled at her gesture. Every morning she tried to host some sort of typical continental style breakfast that was standard for most hotels—that is if Niffty’s behavior permitted a successful morning—and the quality was usually higher than what you remembered in your time alive. Of course, you were dealing with the Princess of Hell, who obviously wouldn’t want anything mediocre for her treasured guests.

“Thank you,” was all you could offer in return before she passed you, doubtlessly to gently announce the food to the other guests. There had been an increase in residents lately, so you weren’t shocked at the piles of delicious looking food that met your eyes when you stepped into the kitchen. You could practically imagine sparkles dancing around the fluffy pancakes and still sizzling pans of various breakfast meats.

You helped yourself to a meal, carefully stepping around the growing crowd of other guests, who all, for the most part, seemed a little aggravated at being woken up but nonetheless pleased at the free meal.

A brief hush filled the room as the air seemed to get just a bit heavier, more ominous, alongside the new presence of a prickling against your skin. You didn’t have to look up, nor did you even want to look up, to know who the culprit of such a suffocated atmosphere was; you knew him well enough.

The kitchen slowly came back to life, albeit a bit stiffer and with quieter conversation. You kept your eyes glued to your plate of food as you made your way towards the dining area. As you passed through the entrance, out of your peripheral you saw the large, looming figure of the demon you had become unnaturally attached to. You didn’t look up or even acknowledge him, pretending to just not notice, but you could swear you felt his red gaze burning a hole in your skin.

A few minutes passed after you sat down before Alastor joined you, sitting in his unofficial assigned seat. The only difference was he didn’t scoot his chair nearly as close as usual, as well as the way his body was turned just slightly so that his back was facing you. Not enough to be noticed by other people, but just enough for you—though, maybe you were just overanalyzing things?—to notice how he was pointedly uninviting you from any interactions with him.

Why even bother coming to breakfast, you thought coldly to yourself, deciding to just feel mad about it instead of stewing in your own self-hate and regret. You had already spent all morning feeling stupid for the night before. It’s not like you even eat this shit. Go eat a dead deer or something.

Your fork poked aggressively against the food on your plate, head propped up against a fist as you mindlessly scooted the food around in a pool of syrup. You hoped to convey some sense of hatred to the demon next to you as you jammed a fluffy bite of pancake into your mouth—oh, that’s so good, your spirits were lifted just a bit as the slightly sweet and buttery pancake touched your tongue.

A hand touched your back, and you jolted in surprise. Naturally your eyes first went to Alastor next to you, thinking maybe he was finally over himself, but he had his hands folded on the table in front of him as he watched another table argue over something probably meaningless. Maybe you’re crazy, but did you see his eyes flick to your just as you looked away? You shook off the idea.

Vaggie sat to your right, and was currently eyeing you with a hint of concern in her eye. You shrugged off her hand as politely as possible before smiling at her with a raised eyebrow, trying to play it off with an ‘I’m alright.’

“People that are ‘alright�� don’t usually have some personal vendetta against a plate of breakfast food,” She said in a low voice, trying to keep your conversation private, particularly from a certain set of prying, fluffy red ears. “You know you have friends here. Especially Charlie.”

“Really, I’m all good, just… long morning,” You did your best to wave away her worries again, suddenly feeling a little childish. From the way she spoke, you would think she was talking to someone going through something serious—you were just having some guy problems.

It seemed to work well enough, because after looking at you for a few more beats she raised her hand and turned away, picking up a conversation with her girlfriend. You sat in your spot for a few more minutes, but the growing anxiety from silently and awkwardly sitting next to Alastor, sifting through so many racing thoughts and doubts, gnawed at your stomach. You finally stood up and excused yourself with a thank you and left the room.

You had no specific place to be, so you just wandered into the lobby and slumped against a couch. You briefly wondered where Angel was; he was surprisingly good at listening to romantic troubles, though honestly you probably wouldn’t divulge your whole “thing” with Alastor. That would probably meet no welcomed response.

You must have dozed off, because the sudden sound of raised voices startled your eyes open. Arguments and general anger were commonplace here, so you weren’t particularly shocked to find Vaggie and Angel Dust going at it about something regarding his behavior and the Hotel—a recurring theme in their conversations. Vaggie’s words fell on deaf ears as Angel tutted at her words with a waving and dismissive hand.

“I’m sure ninety percent of these guests would love to have a piece’a me!” He said, taking long strides across the room as he fixed up his chest fluff with two hands. He leaned his hip against the large chair that, much to your dismay, sat Alastor, his grin tightening as Angel approached. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as the spider laid his torso across the head of the chair.

“Even this one…” Angel said with a pouty lilt in his voice, finger dragging up the embellishments as he tried to play flirty. Alastor clicked his tongue distastefully in response before he stood up, hands folding neatly across the top of his cane.

“Not quite to my taste, thank you!” He said, looking down at Angel with an ugly curl in his lip. Angel only huffed in response before slinking down the back of the chair and taking up the space where Alastor previously sat, leaving said demon just standing there.

Alastor’s eyes glanced at you, so brief that you honestly may have imagined it, before he simply hummed with closed eyes and melted into the ground, the shadow where he once stood inking across the carpet before finally coming to a rest… behind the couch where you were laying. You grimaced as you felt his presence manifest again, sending a ripple of that familiar prickle down your bare arms.

Was this going to be your eternity now? Playing some game of cat and mouse where you have to leave every room you’re in just because Alastor gets too close for comfort? You turned your head to try to get a look at him from the corner of your eye, but immediately looked away again when you saw he was already looking at you. You couldn’t read his expression.

You sat up and thought for a few moments. Honestly, it was probably best to just go spend a depression day alone in your room. As pushy as Alastor could be, he wasn’t typically the type to barge into rooms without invitation.

Slowly standing, you managed to avoid the attention of the couple of others in the room—though, realistically, none would care if they happened to see you leave; you were just on edge to everyone and everything. You quickly made your way up the stairs, frowning down at your feet as you walked. You shot a sideways glance at Alastor as you rounded a turn in the steps, finally meeting his gaze for a few seconds before your view was blocked by the wall.

You sighed as you found yourself in front of your hotel room, a heavy feeling making you suddenly choke up. You ushered yourself into the room before you embarrassed yourself by crying openly in the hallway, but the comforting solitude of your room as you leaned your back against the door to close it made it a bit easier to breathe.

After ensuring the door was locked, you went to stand at the edge of the bed, frowning down at the still unmade sheets. Thoughts of that tender night came to the front of your mind at full force, and you bit your lip anxiously. The warmth of his body against yours, the tangle of legs and soft touches of lips… was it all actually, in a cruel turn of reality, a fake expression of care from him? When you had finally begun to think you could read the affection on his face…

You settled into the soft mattress, uncomfortably aware of how big and cold it was. You were no stranger to sleeping alone by any means, but after finally experiencing the shared space with someone you loved, the contrast was stark and unwelcomed. You did your best to ignore it as you tucked yourself in, letting your eyes fall shut in a poor attempt to sleep away your worries.

Your attempts were unsuccessful, and an empty feeling of longing and despair in your stomach grew stronger with each hour that passed as you watched the red hue of the daylight sky turn darker. You felt both restless and tired at the same time, lacking any energy to actually do anything to pass the time. 

It all proved to be counterintuitive to the whole “sleep your worries away” as the hours you spent just lying down only gave you ample opportunity to melt in your own thoughts as the memories of last night kept returning. Man, why did you have to kiss him? You unwittingly ignored the fact that he had also played a part in closing that gap between you; you were honestly just pinning the blame fully on yourself.

Finally sick of stewing in misery, you kicked off the heavy blanket and stood up. You needed some fresh air. 

You tried to walk quickly with a fake sense of purpose so, in the odd chance you passed someone, they hopefully wouldn’t ask about your absence all day—you were typically more present and friendly with everybody as you would often help Charlie with event organization. Lucky enough for you, you passed nobody on your way to the door that opened to some stairs up to the roof of the Hotel.

After a quick pace up the echoey, metal steps, you pushed open the large doors and greeted with a pleasantly cool rush of wind. It was still warm, of course, being Hell and all, but cooler than usual. You quietly closed the heavy doors behind you.

There was a spot on the roof you typically sat at during long, restless nights, and you turned the corner of the door before promptly backtracking and pressing yourself up against the metal door once again, jaw clenched in a mix of shock and anger.

Why the Hell was Alastor on the roof at your spot with your blanket that you had left up here on some previous night? Was he doing all this on purpose? Constantly getting all too close to you while simultaneously acting cool and indifferent towards your existence? Was this all just some sick game to him? Well… it is Alastor.

You peeked over the edge from where you hid to get a better look at him. He sat serenely with his back towards you, legs hanging over the edge of the roof. You couldn’t see his expression, but his body waved just slightly, most likely to the tune of some song in his head. Despite all the frustration you felt in your soul towards him, looking at him under the blanket of a dark red sky with a sprinkling of stars… he still endeared you. Especially when he looked so harmless and relaxed.

Just as you were about to turn away again and find somewhere else to relax, he cleared his throat, stopping you before you could even move.

“It’s rude to stare,” He stated, projecting his voice just enough for you to hear the light humor in his voice. “You seem like a stalker, darling!”

You straightened your shoulders before walking out from behind the wall, a frown on your face. You didn’t walk any closer—God forbid you accidentally do anything to hurt your relationship anymore, if that was even possible.

“I didn’t mean to, I was just… surprised, that’s all,” You reasoned, tapping your foot impatiently. “You are kind of in my spot.”

He hummed, absently pointing at the surface around him. “I didn’t see your name on it.” 

You couldn’t really think of a response quickly, so you just stayed quiet, continuing to just stand in place a few meters away from Alastor.

He briefly put his hand down on the space next to him, patting twice in a vague invitation for you to join him. You thought for a brief moment before cautiously walking towards him, steps growing slower with each foot you got closer. He made no move to send you away—in fact, he even started moving the blanket in a way to make the concrete just a bit more comfortable to sit on. He still didn’t look at you.

Embarrassingly your hands had started to shake, which you realized when you reached your hand down to support your body as you lowered it to sit. You just hoped Alastor didn’t notice. You let your legs fall over the ledge, swinging slightly next to Alastor’s. You didn’t notice how he shifted his knee a bit closer to yours.

The two of you sat in silence under the still-darkening sky, and you couldn’t decide if it was a comfortable or awkward silence. Alastor didn’t seem to mind, so you tried to convince yourself it was comfortable despite the itching anxiety in your chest.

“I’m really sorry about last night,” You blurted out, unable to contain it anymore. Was it a bad idea to even bring it up? Maybe. But you felt that your relationship was already irreparably damaged so it couldn’t hurt to at least apologize. You saw his eyes turn towards you out of your peripheral, and you were too ashamed to meet his look, instead opting to fiddle with a fray of the blanket edge.

“Whatever for?” He responded after an uncomfortably long pause—this stunned you. Fuck you mean ‘whatever for?’ Your head whipped up to look at him, brows furrowed.

You had spent all die scared that you ruined everything between you and Alastor, regretting everything that led up to last night’s events—it didn’t help that Alastor himself was also blatantly avoiding you. What the fuck is he acting so confused for?

Apparently you said that all out loud, as Alastor’s smile was growing more and more strained with each loud word that tumbled from your lips. You didn’t even realize until you were done and catching your breath, but at this point you couldn’t care less to apologize or feel bad about it. You folded your arms and fixated your eyes on some random pedestrian below as another long stretch of silence filled the air.

“You confuse me,” He finally said, with a voice that lacked its usual radio tone. You didn’t respond, so he continued. “I feel these alien emotions when I’m near you—you bewitch me. And I don’t like it. I hate you for it.”

You couldn’t control the slight slump in your shoulders and the sharp pang in your stomach that his words brought you. Hate. 

“But… I kill the demons I hate,” He said, looking away from you and up at the sky. “And I can’t find myself wanting to kill you. That has to mean something, though I’m really no man to figure it out myself.”

You cautiously returned your eyes back to him, shoulders curled forward as if to protect yourself against the blow of any harsh words. But, as he spoke, you felt that anxiety slowly lighten as you pieced together what he was trying to convey in his own strange way. Although, you weren’t really sure what to say in response, filled with too many swarming emotions—both new and old. 

Suddenly you looked at the space between the two of you—was Alastor’s hand there just a minute ago? You looked up to try to get any hint of his goals; but, unsurprisingly, he remained unreadable. It was definitely safer to just ignore it.

Well, that got a lot harder when his pinkie finger stretched towards you just a bit, practically inviting you. You looked at his face one more time, swallowed your fear, and tenderly laid your hand down next to his. You moved it cautiously closer, just enough so that your pinkie touched his own. His lifted up and curled over yours, tightening in a way to bring the rest of your hand closer and enveloping it with his own. Your gaze was fixated on this exchange and you felt heat warm your cheeks and ears.

You both said nothing, but you thought the pounding in your ears would drown out any attempt.

Your attention finally broke from the hands that now clasped together between the two of you, turning up towards Alastor. You found that he had been looking at you with such an intensity it made you feel like an open book before him. His eyes had a slight glow to them now that the sky had fully darkened—eyes that were usually so malicious and secretive seemed to now burn with what you could only assume was affection.

“I can’t promise I’ll be a good man,” He finally broke the silence. His smile was small but strained, and his voice uncharacteristically quiet. 

In response you shook your head with a breathless laugh, tightening your hand just slightly around his as you focused on the street below, watching the scattered presence of night owl demons.

“I probably couldn’t promise the same, either,” You admitted, leaning back and stretching out your legs in the open air over the ledge of the roof. You froze momentarily when Alastor shifted a bit closer, his knee now barely knocking against yours.

He reached his hand out, fingers curling gingerly but firm over your chin and pulling your face closer to his. He examined your face for a moment, red eyes trailing over every curve of your features before settling back to look into your eyes.

“But I can promise, cher,” The new name he referred to you as made the already present flush in your cheeks only intensify. “That as long as you own what’s left of my heart, no demon in Hell can keep you away from me. Not even you.”

His words were spoken almost like a threat in an ominously low tone, that heavy radio affliction dripping from his words. In his eyes was a sudden look of sinister intensity and devotion, something you had never even dreamed of seeing, especially from him and especially towards you. As menacing as the words seemed, you couldn’t stop the wry smirk that inched up your lips, slightly smushed between his fingers that still firmly held your head in place.

“I’d like to see anyone try,” You responded in an attempt to match his energy. This seemed good enough for him, as his smile lifted for a moment as he released you from his grasp and faced forward again.

You yawned and stretched out your arms above your head, popping a few bones in your back before you stood. He followed suit, deftly touching his clothes with one hand to smooth any wrinkles or crooked buttons—his other was still holding your own.

He stepped closer, nearly pressed against you, when suddenly the atmosphere around you seemed to melt in a swirl of black before being replaced with the familiar decor of your hotel room. He gave you a light nudge and you fell back onto the bed.

After recuperating and settling, you watched him from your spot on the bed as he draped off his coat and slacks before joining you in the sheets. His body language was tense and unsure, but to your own pleasure the stiffness in his shoulders lightened just a bit when your hands tenderly rubbed against his skin.

The bed that was only hours before too big and too cold was now inviting with the warmth of Alastor’s body against your own, his scent filling your nose with every inhale as his hair brushed against your cheek. Every movement was a shaky blur as you were still filled with a sense of disbelief and maybe a little bit of adrenaline from the unexpected switch-up from him. The mattress dipped and creaked as he tried to make himself comfortable, which took an awkward few seconds, but after finally settling in you found yourself laid against his chest, fingers trailing down his skin.

Alastor’s own clawed fingers trailed through your hair and he hummed the quietest tune, lulling you further into an exhaustion that you didn’t realize had been creeping up on you. You fell asleep to a comfort that you hoped you wouldn’t have to spend another day in eternity without.

[xiao-come-home]

stone faced anon (💫 anon if it's free) here; as someone who has a hyperfixation in IT and coding I also think it would be very funny if Boothill had an s/o who wasn't necessarily a mechanic but like a software engineer or just a real big nerd about coding or something. He'll be experiencing a malfunction or a memory leak and go "oh yeah this happens sometimes don't worry about it" and then 10 minutes later he's sitting down plugged into a laptop listening to his s/o rant about how terrible his code is (crack hc: boothill's code was written in javascript) and how it's a wonder he hasn't bricked* yet

Would also be mad funny if Boothill ever got hacked and his s/o basically says "no you're not" and uses a previously made system restore point or something because of course they would both use and design every feature imaginable to keep Boothill in control of his own body, can you imagine the stress that losing control would cause him?? Even better if whoever designed him originally intentionally left a backdoor incase he ever went against their orders and when they try to use it his s/o just goes "oh yeah I quarantined and encrypted all the old files related to that backdoor and whatever else you were planning on a partition as bait and personally rewrote every file and function involved since your code is *an actual crime against technology*. by the way i'm going to go ahead and format that partition i mentioned, boothill- we won't be needing anything on it now that we can trace whoever made it. trust me, this won't be happening ever again."

*(bricking is a term mostly used to refer to hardware that's been rendered basically completely nonfunctional and beyond saving by using it wrong, mostly by messing with system files. Kinda like how windows can't even repair itself if you delete the system32 folder. Though i guess you could still install it with a usb stick if you formatted your pc- i digress you get what I mean. also since this almost happened to me recently: if you manage to fill up a hard drive to the brim, with literally 0 bytes of space left, that bricks it. reminder to check your storage thoroughly and often!)

Honestly wow I read it all and I'm a little bit speechless 🥹 thank you 💫 anon, it was great 🙏

Boothill would DEFINITELY appreciate a s/o who's a tech savvy in general! I think at some point, he'd be pretty shocked you're so knowledgeable and just sit there, listening to you rant.. and just letting you do your thing.

Don't get me wrong, he definitely knows a lot about his body, his system and the way he works, but once you start to get in the zone and explain stuff to him, berate his code even, he just sits next to you, plugged in to your laptop, leaning his cheek against his hand listening to you like he obviously understands everything you say.

His other hand begins to gently play with a stand of your hair, humming deeply when the soft clicking sounds of your keyboard reach his ears; he twirls your hair with his fingers and chuckles, "mmm, really now?" Boothill raises an eyebrow, "encryptin' this, encryptin' that... How about we do somethin' more fun instead?" And then you shut him down from your laptop (😭).

Jokes aside, he'd feel very secure with you especially when he first got his new body, just knowing you'll probably fix a lot of things that could possibly blow up his face in no time, maybe even improve his life even more.

[zephzephyrus]

Alice by Heart and Next to Normal and their depictions of grief

less of an essay and more just a ramble about them, but tdlr; they have their similarities and differences in their portrayals of grief and how the characters deal with it.

it is very long, so you have been warned, and if you read it I hope you enjoy!

I was just in AbH and have a little hyperfix on N2N, so here we go.

The way these two shows depict grief is so wildly different with the way the characters handle their feelings, yet there are similarities (ofc); Alice seeing Alfred and Co. as Wonderland characters and Diana seeing Gabe, neither being who/what they are.

Alice has to deal with the fact that she's losing her best friend, and there's nothing anyone can do to save him. She thinks that reading to him will make it better, that being with her will make it better. Books make things a little less painful, and Alice is all he has, so of course, being near her will make him feel better, thus making him healthy again. Alice is fifteen years old, stuck underground during the London Blitz with no one she knows except Alfred, and the only things she can do to minimise the pain and grief threatening to take over are to deny and escape. She ignores the warning from the Nurse, "Catch that cough, he'll be your death," and goes behind the curtain anyway to drag Alfred into one last adventure through Wonderland.

Alfred, for all he tries to do, begs Alice to let him go, and she can't. He's all she has. So he goes along with it, he follows her into the story and down the rabbit hole. The thing about this is that it's all in their heads. The other people in the underground are cast as characters in Wonderland and play along for the most part. But as Alfred slips further away and begs Alice to just get to the end, one last time, Alice holds on tighter and eventually loses him altogether. Then the Alfred we see is one from her mind, a ghost, a hallucination, because she still can't let go. Not yet.

Diana Goodman has spent years ignoring her grief. Her mental health is a huge part of that and it declines rapidly throughout the show as she continues to push away said grief. Holding on to what should've been, causing the very memory of Gabe to twist into what we see, the spirit of grief clinging to her and antagonising everyone else, just begging to be recognised. Not only that, but she sees him as a normal teen doing normal teen things when he's not tormenting everyone else. He goes to school, stays out late, plays football, argues with her like he would've done—could've done if he were alive. He's not pictured as the perfect kid, he's just a kid.

In the prelude, Gabe tells Diana, "You gotta let go, mom. I'm almost eighteen." He warns her from the beginning that she needs to let go, she needs to grieve, or it'll never get better. And Diana can't. She can't grieve because grieving means forgetting. It means leaving Gabe behind and moving on with her life and acting like he was never there. So, the solution to her is to never grieve cause, "if you won't grieve me, you won't leave me behind." And the continuous refusal to allow those feelings to come to light causes her to spiral and make things so much worse, not just for her, but for her family, too. A cool thing about all that, which I appreciate very much, is that Gabe is constantly in light. Looking at it or going towards it, even saying, “catch me I’m falling,” as if he’s falling away from it, cause Diana is holding him back. She physically holds him back during some of these moments, and he latches on to her during others when it seems like she might let him. 

Both characters believe that if they hold on, then things will turn out fine, that the pain will eventually stop and things will just be normal (no pun intended). We, as the audience, know that it can't happen unless they let go. And while Alice works through her grief during the show, eventually accepting that Alfred is gone, Diana doesn't. She doesn't work through her grief because she doesn't grieve. They give her meds, she goes to therapy, she gets ECT, but she still doesn't grieve. Not until the end, when she realises that it's not something that can be 'cured', that it's a hurt that will stay with her and is part of her, does she allow herself to begin to grieve and let go.

Another thing, the characters in both. In Alice by Heart, the characters help Alice to come to terms with what and how she's feeling, allowing this child to process the hurt as needed. In Next to Normal, the characters—mostly Dan and Dr. Madden—attempt to help Diana in ways they think will work best, but Diana doesn't really want help, nor do they do the one thing that Diana actually needs: naming Gabe. He says so himself with, “Until you name me, you can’t tame me,” representing not just Diana’s grief, but the family's grief and how encompassing it is. Dr. Madden tries, but because Dan also isn't ready to face his own grief, which is a whole other thing, he hinders Diana's progress rather than helping her.

Alfred and Gabe. Alfred wants to let go. He tells Alice that he's running out of time and warns her over and over again that he can't stay. Throughout the musical, he follows her and reminds her of his circumstances, which she refuses to acknowledge, and he eventually becomes a spirit existing in her mind in her vision and allows her to have the closure she needs. Gabe wants to be acknowledged for what he is, who he is, and that is the part of Diana that has been locked away and left to fester into the possessive, desperate, destructive force we see throughout the show. Both are plagued by the grief surrounding them, and they have no control over it, like cogs in a machine.

At the end of Alice by Heart, Alice and Alfred have one last moment together during “Afternoon” to say goodbye. The characters, at the end of the song, are physically holding on to one another as Alice clings to him for a final time. Alfred drops out of singing, lets go of Alice—and she lets him—and walks off stage while Alice continues, signifying that she grieved. She grieved for her friend and was able to continue with her life, not forgetting him. At the beginning of “Winter Blooms”, Clarissa, a snobby girl, says, “At least the story’s done,” to which Alice replies, “No, never done.” She recognises that he’s gone, but she will not forget him. She carries his memory and keeps his story alive.

At the end of Next to Normal, we see Diana realise that holding on is hurting her and everyone around her, so she leaves. Dan finally acknowledges Gabe, even if it’s just for a second, and Natalie helps her dad while also grieving her mom and someone she never knew. During “Light”, they all get/have what they need. Natalie has someone who knows her for her and won’t give up on her, Dan finds someone to talk to, and Diana works through her grief. All while this is happening, Gabe lingers behind them. Not as some malevolent spirit tearing down each attempt to help Diana, but as a watcher; a reminder that he was there, that he is there. A reminder that grief doesn’t go away; it lingers. And that doesn’t have to mean forgetting who you’ve lost. 

Grief is not a linear process. It can be, but it rarely is. It's gut-wrenching and exhausting and long and unforgiving and hard, and these musicals are so very good at depicting it and the journey it takes to just get somewhere with it; Alice taking no more than a day and Diana taking over eighteen years. These musicals show that it's okay to grieve, no matter how long it takes, and that it's not easy, but it is necessary.

This was less of an essay and more of a ramble of thoughts about them. didn't even touch on the religious connotation behind Gabe's name or what it signifies, but that’s for another time (also the tumblr people talk about it, so def go look at those). I adore both of these musicals with all my heart, and they mean so, so much to me. If you haven't seen/listened to either, you absolutely should, and if you've only seen/heard one, you should go check out the other. Okay, ramble done.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

*t-poses into inbox* TIS I! 🎨 ANON!

We don’t talk about how I had to spend 5 minutes making sure this complies to your rules because I have a lot of mental disorders so I had to make sure this doesn’t cater to them lmaoooo

My hyperfixation is Tokyo Ghoul despite it being literal YEARS but whatever (I’m watching it again currently)

Ayato Kirishima with a male!S/O who has a hard time controlling his kagune (i.e when he’s scared he accidentally activates his kagune, when he’s angry it’s there. You can essentially think of it as emotion based) so he has a hard time hunting for food and doesn’t like to go out in public because of that

If you need more I gotchu but do your other requests before mine I know I get priority but nah I can wait

Kirishima Ayato - With Ghoul Male Reader Who Can't Control His Kagune

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Hello 🎨pallette anon, I'm finally going to write your request after however long after you sent it to me. Sorry about that. By the way, college classes have been a major reason why my posting schedule has been all over the place, I swear I meant to get to this sooner. Anywho, I hope this is to your liking, and once again sorry for the delay. —Benny🐰

Warnings -> Mentioned Death, Mentioned Cannibalism, Mentioned Murder, Alluded Past Trauma, Ayato Being a Sweety

                                                                                                   

🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀

🐇 While he definitely wouldn't say it out loud, Ayato is incredibly concerned about you almost every hour of the day, though when he has important matters to attend to that worry is pushed to the background but is certainly still there. He's worried that you'll end up getting caught and killed or, worse, taken and experimented on by the CCG, so he's the slightest bit thankful that you stay inside more often than not. Ayato does make sure to drop by your place often to see if you're still there, and if you go out, he makes you tell him what you're leaving for and the exact time you left through the front door; he's not fucking around when it comes to your safety.

🐇  Usually, Ayato hunts for the both of you; he wants you to be able to go and get food on your own eventually, but until he's able to help you keep your emotions in check a bit better, he won't allow it. He may or may not enjoy being relied on by his cute boyfriend, but you didn't hear that from me. When he brings home a meal, he'll snack on it on the way to your place, but don't worry, he always makes sure to leave your favorite parts alone; Ayato just adores when you give him that happy grin while your cheeks are stuffed with the flesh of his latest game.

🐇  Often if you begin to have a panic attack or have strong emotions and your kagune begins to show itself, Ayato will 'reluctantly' grab onto your hand and give it a comforting squeeze. Although that squeeze tends to be a bit too tight most of the time and leaves you with an aching hand afterward, don't tell him that; he'll beat himself up for accidentally hurting you and won't touch you again for quite a while after that. If you're both at home, Ayato will drag you into bed and pull you against his chest, his hand rubbing your lower back under your emerged kagune to coax you into slumber.

🐇 When you both go out, be it for house essentials, food, or new clothes to replace the ones permanently stained with blood, Ayato always stands behind you and watches for potential threats or things that may stress you out. Suppose he sees that something is beginning to upset you, he'll grab you by the arm and physically turn you away from it, distracting you with an interesting object that's being displayed in a shop window or quietly telling you a piece of information about himself that you didn't know. Ayato is a pretty closed-off person even to those he's closest to, so he uses these hidden nuggets of information to his advantage whenever he's taking care of you.

🐇  Ayato is a very busy person, so he can't be with you as often as he'd like to be; to solve this problem, he's taken to leaving you little gifts around your place. A cute rabbit phone charm that he asked Uta to help him paint to look like his old mask, a few of his hoodies, random stuffed animals that he found on the side of the road, a couple of severed fingers for you to snack on in a take-out box, anything he thinks will make you feel better, to be honest. One time, Ayato even went out and bought you one of those cute squeaky stress balls whose eyes pop out when you squeeze them; it was a rabbit, of course.

🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀•♡•🫀

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my masterlist!

[strawberrysundi]

WELL I WAS PLANNING ON PLAYING CELESTE THIS EVENING BUT INSTEAD I WILL NOW DEVOTE IT ENTIRELY TO INDULGING MY HYPERFIXATION

IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR A PORKY POST

Are Ness and Porky Friends...?

Let's talk about that 😏

First things first, I think this single moment from the beginning of the game is by FAR the most important thing to consider when thinking about how Ness and Porky's relationship is presented to us

Right at the start, when you make your way up to the meteorite, you will encounter the cops and their blockade This also serves as our first introduction to our wonderful neighbor, Porky Minch, who is currently making a nuisance of himself trying to get up to the meteorite, much to the cops' chagrin

One of the cops asks if we could help deal with Porky, and asks this vital question:

What's Ness's answer? Yes!

...or no.

I cannot understate how obsessed with this I am. Ness can't say whether or not Porky is really his friend. This is something he's unable to answer on his own. I really think this is a fantastic way to introduce Porky to the player. If he is Ness's friend... it doesn't seem like he's a very good one.

Now shortly after this, Porky begs for Ness's help in finding Picky. We get a pretty good look at Porky's character here. He's obnoxious, rude, doesn't take responsibility for his actions, and above all is pretty meek and cowardly. Now, I think some people go a little far in interpreting him as "bad" here. Porky's undeniably a jerk even now, but he's still just a kid, and a pretty pathetic one at that. If you look on the Earthbound wiki, you'll see that his age is listed as 14. As far as I'm aware, this only has one source, being Saori Kumi's Earthbound novelization. If you know even the slightest thing about this book, you will understand how ludicrous it is to use this as a source. Porky's age is never specified ingame, but I think his overall presentation implies that he should be the same age as Ness. It's fairly well-known that Ness's age is given as 13 in the American guide, but 12 in Japanese. 12 is also the age given in, again, Saori Kumi's novelization, unfortunately I don't know if this is stated elsewhere. It can also be noted that Shigesato Itoi has actually said he never thought of a specific age for Ness, just that he had his daughter in mind who at this time was in grade 4 or 5. So this gives us a range that could be as old as 13 or as young as 9. Personally, I skew toward 11-12 for how I envision the characters. In any case, Porky's clearly very young, so you really have to keep that in mind when considering... kinda everything about him, actually. But in this instance, it really contextualizes the stuff he says. For example, if you say no to him when he asks for your help, he threatens to "say something that'll cut you like a knife." I think it's silly to take this seriously (i've even heard someone describe it as Porky blackmailing Ness). He's clearly just gonna call Ness some mean name or something. ...Except he doesn't. Say no to him again, and he'll immediately deflate.

Porky is in no way a bully. He's annoying, but he's pretty lousy at being intimidating. Instead, his favorite way of getting what he wants is to appeal to others' sympathy. He's relying on Ness to help him by virtue of being "his bestest friend." Or think of his actions in battle: smiling insincerely, apologizing profusely, pretending to cry. He plays up being a sweet innocent kid whenever he's in trouble.

So, I think the picture we've painted is of a kid who's sort of a jerk, and tricks others to get what he wants. It becomes pretty clear why Ness isn't sure if he can really call Porky his friend.

...But what about Porky's side? Is he really only pretending to like Ness for his own gain, or are his own feelings much more complicated?

First off, just some minor things. While Porky leaves a pretty bad, if not altogether inaccurate first impression, there's a few things in his dialogue that speak to him thinking of Ness as more than just 'that loser who thinks we're friends.'

He promises that he'll tell Ness all about the meteorite in the morning. Probably this'd be in his typically boastful Porky-fashion, but even so, this shows that he wants to share things with Ness.

It's easy to miss because most people playing Earthbound have played A Video Game's before, and also tend not to ignore directions the game is clearly telegraphing, but Porky will actually give you advice if you're not properly prepared.

If you don't grab the Cracked Bat:

You're not taking anything on our big adventure? Why don't you look around for your Cracked bat or something?

Taking the bat but not equipping it:

Sorry about giving you this game-type advice, but you should equip your weapon! Do you know what "equip" means?

Yes:

Okay, that's good. Be sure to pay attention to details like that.

No:

It means "use" or "wear." You must equip items in order to use or wear them. "Equip" is used a lot in games like this, but you already knew that...

Finally, not answering your dad:

The phone is ringing! Answer it! At my house, my dad gets bent if I don't get the phone... within the first three rings!

These aren't anything groundbreaking, but they do show how Porky acts with Ness in casual contexts, plus how the game presents Porky surprisingly neutrally in the beginning, rather than just immediately telegraphing him as the villain. Also, nobody's seen these so hey, some obscure trivia for you.

Finally, Porky's reaction to hearing the prophecy is pretty telling of the kind of character Porky is pre-Giygas. He just talks about how much trouble Ness is in now, how he hopes he doesn't have to come, and how freaked out he is. I think this sums him up pretty well. He's the meek comic-relief friend character. Sniff from Moomin, for example. Or go watch Monster House, because Chowder is literally exactly Porky.

But none of that is super juicy. Let's dive into something juicy. This little bit murdered my brother when we got to it in our playthrough.

A quick detour to Magicant...

Ness... I envy you. You have all the luck. I have no luck. Ness... well, okay... Let's be friends forever, alright?

still hurts

Yeah so first off, I think this totally clears up Ness's feelings towards Porky. He can't say if they're really friends... But he WANTS them to be.

This is Ness's vision of Porky, the Porky he used to know before Giygas corrupted him, and the one he wishes was still around.

But even if this is just a manifestation of Ness's consciousness, I think it also gives us a look into Porky's inner self. This is what Ness sees in Porky, the confession that Porky is too insecure to say out loud. He hides it behind all his boasting and rudeness, but he really, really wants to keep his friendship with Ness.

Well.

If only.

Let's get to MOTHER 3.

This game gives us SO much more of Porky's character, and it's all sooooo deep. I cannot understate how much I hate seeing Porky reduced to 'that Eric Cartman kid who is an absolutely irredeemable suchnsuch.' King P is the culmination of a lot of aspects of Porky's character arc (you think this post is long, it's only the first of many more...), but one of the most prominent aspects is his unbelievably, painful, PATHETIC loneliness. This kid... man... is so desperate for a friend after he left the only person who ever wanted to connect with him that he literally brainwashes a whole city's worth of people into loving him.

And of course that's not enough, because all he wants is his next-door neighbor, his good buddy, his bestest friend Ness.

In closing, are Ness and Porky friends? It's complicated. Both clearly, desperately want to be. They have a history, they know each other intimately, by Itoi's own words they literally grew up playing together. But, for a number of reasons (that I've thought all too much about...), Porky just can't help but make it difficult. I'd sum it up by listening to the song that plays during Earthbound's cast credits. In the end, there are good friends, and...

[grandlinedreams]

Your blog is the highlight of my day, I'm really impressed <3

Could you maybe write something more about what happened after that oneshot where the reader wants to stay up with law but falls asleep while doing it and then law laying in bed with them?

I love the slow burn that is happening there

Aah, thank-you!! I do my best and I'm just glad my hyperfixation has an audience that enjoys it ehe 💖 but absolutely!! I hope that this is to your liking!! I also couldn't help myself w adding the 'it's rotten work' 'not to me. Not if it's you'

[In reference to this]

[Heads up!: mutual pining, some angst, hurt/comfort]

There are three reasons you know that you're not in your own bed when you wake up. One, you're warmer than you ever are, blanket usually kicked off of you in some way or another. The second that there are no sounds of the bunkhouse ㅡ no soft snores or sleepy murmurs, the creak of someone moving in their sleep. And the third?

That Law is asleep right next to you.

It takes a minute to register, your cheeks warming. You'd fallen asleep despite trying your best not to, you know that much ㅡ and that for whatever reason, Law had seen fit to simply let you sleep in his bed.

It's inappropriate, you know. A severe breach of what should be between captain and crewmate ㅡ but staring at him, all you can think of is what could be.

You let yourself admire him for a little longer before you turn your attention to getting up, knowing that your other crewmates will be moving around soon and the last thing you need is them assuming things if you wait too long to come out of Law's room.

You're not sure how you manage to get free without disturbing Law but you do, glancing towards the mugs you'd brought in with you and move to collect them.

"Thanks for the tea last night." Law's voice makes you jolt, barely avoiding dropping one of the mugs as you turn to find him sitting up and watching you.

"Oh," you say, "right, no problem." Curse your wretched heart for doing gymnastics at how cute he is, hair sleep-mussed and expression drowsy. It sharpens, however, as his gaze flicks over you and then to the door.

"About this," he begins, "we won't be making a habit of this. It's for the best if this never happens again."

Your heart sinks. You know that it's for the best, that the idea of entertaining anything but is only going to hurt ㅡ and hurt it does, twisting a proverbial knife into your chest.

There's the rising want to cry, one that you shove down as deep as you can, shoving down your feelings.

"Yes," you say, now heading for the door with the tray and things in hand. "You're absolutely right. It's for the best."

ㅡ

You take to avoiding him. You make it an art ㅡ not so much so as to make it obvious that it's him that you're avoiding in particular, but enough to make it plausible as to why you're never around him.

And it's driving Law crazy. The Polar Tang is only so big, there are only so many places you can duck into before he notices, so many people you can so conveniently manage to be deep in conversation with when he passes, indifferent to his presence ㅡ but you still manage it.

It's frustrating, too. He knows that he hurt you with what he said, a proverbial slap to the face of your kindness, your efforts to put him at ease. He also isn't dumb, he's noticed your lingering looks, the previous excuses to be around him.

Were he someone else, he'd let you know that he reciprocates your feelings. Even as he is, he knows he does ㅡ but he can't act on it. He won't drag you down with him when it all inevitably blows up in his face, won't force you to suffer the same fate as him. You deserve more, and you deserve better.

But your behavior still hurts. The things that you do are made the clearer in the absence them, and he misses them. He misses you.

There's only so much that Law can take of this new routine that you've slipped into ㅡ which is why he comes up with a plan.

ㅡ

Avoiding Law is getting exhausting. Quite literally, as you've gotten into the routine of waiting until almost everyone has retired for the night, him included. It's childish yes, but you're determined to do it until your feelings for him ebb enough that you can go back to the way you were ㅡ as unlikely as that is.

Stifling a yawn, you trudge towards the bunkhouse, intent on getting as good of sleep as you can, only to have a hand curl around your upper arm and yank you away before you can react. You're dragged into a different room and when the door shuts, you wheel on your pseudo-kidnapper.

"What is your problem?"

Unbothered by your tone, Law simply stares at you, expression unreadable. "I need to talk to you."

You frown. "So talk to me like a normal person, not kidnap me."

"I didn't kidnap you," Law counters, "and it's hard to talk to someone when they're avoiding you."

You want to lie and say that you haven't been, but the look Law gives you makes you quiet before you realizes where you are.

His room. Again.

"Look. I realize that how I said things the other day wasn't the best way to put it." Law rubs his neck, trying to find the best way to articulate his words.

Figuring that it'll be easier to sever whatever you have with him all together now rather than continue to suffer, you look up and speak with a steadiness that surprises you. "I love you."

Law's eyes snap to yours, elation and dread clashing. "You can't." Before you can protest, he continues. "Not only am I your captain, but we're pirates. We don't have time for things like this, and I don't have time to entertain how you think you feelㅡ"

"How I think I feel?" Your tone is calm. "Last time I checked, I'm the one who should know best how I feel, Law." He opens his mouth, and you hold a hand up to silence him. "I'm not going to deign the rest of that with a response, because we both know that's bullshit." You pause. "Well, besides the part about you being my captain. You are, and I love you. I'm not expecting you to love me back."

A muscle in his jaw jumps. "You shouldn't."

"I know."

He steps towards you, reaching to tug you to him. "That's dangerous."

You press into him. "I know that too. We're pirates, remember? Danger is our middle name."

His arms wind around you, hand cradling the back of your head. "It's rotten work," he whispers, thinking of Corazon and his parents, his sister. "Loving me."

"Not to me," comes your response, muffled into his chest, the steady thump that your own echoes. You pretend not to notice that it's beating as hard as yours is. "Not if it's you."

Law feels something in him crack, splintering into glittering spiderweb fissures. "You're staying here tonight," he says, feels the shudder of your laughter against him.

"Is that an order, captain?"

"Yes."

ㅡ

Blankets over you both, Law still allows himself to reach for you, let your legs tangle with his, lose the dark tattoos of his knuckles in your hair. "Say it again."

You don't need to ask what he means, kissing the front of his shoulder. "I love you."

His lips brush the top of your head. "Again."

"I love you."

He kisses your forehead. "Again."

"I love you."

By the time Law kisses you properly, he thinks you'll get tired of saying it, because he can't say it back. Not yet. But the way you kiss him back says that you do, and that you don't mind.

You're patient, and you can wait.