#i'm so sorry

[dronebiscuitbat]

Give me a Reason: Chapter 19 - "Best Freind"

N: U sure ur okay?

Uzi sighed as she crashed into her mattress, body feeling sore and head full of cotton balls. Tessa had just pulled out of the driveway and N was already texting her.

She wasn't sure when they'd actually become friends, maybe somewhere between ghost hunting and getting kicked in the gut she'd somehow made that connection. But she was absolutely not used to someone being this worried.

He'd incessantly asked what had happened for her to get so injured. And she'd incessantly deflected, either saying that it was nothing serious- which was bullshit, it hurt like hell. Or, at the cost of her ego- she lied and said it was an accident.

She just wasn't sure how he'd react to the truth, he'd probably be even more worried then, knowing that someone did this to her on purpose.

Or… he'd laugh at her. Because she was weak, because she'd put herself in a vulnerable position and then couldn't take a little pain an-

N: You can talk to me.

N: No pressure.

N: Just worried about you :(

The new messages stopped that train of thought. No. He wouldn't laugh. Even her chronic cynicism couldn't convince her of that.

Finally, instead of staring at his messages, she responded.

Uzi: Promise you won't say anything? Or laugh.

N: Promise

She sighed, here goes nothing…

Uzi: I got kicked in the stomach, u know how I seemed upset that I knew someone in my math class? It was them.

The reply actually took a minute to come back.

And that was because N had all of air knocked out of him at that reply. She'd been hit? Purposefully? And hard enough to give her a serious injury? Why? She was so nice! And cool!

N: Who?

Uzi: Lizzy, she's a teachers aid now, but she was in my class last year.

Uzi: It's not the first time she's thrown a punch, just caught me off gaurd this time.

Once again, N was floored, a teachers aid!?

N: I'd never laugh at you. But you should report her, she shouldn't be working with students if she thinks that's okay.

Uzi huffed through her nose, a half-laugh that was drenched in a depressing kind of acceptance.

Uzi: It's not like they'd believe me. I'm not exactly a model student.

She sat her phone down and shucked off her jacket and beanie, hissing as her side throbbed dully. This had been such a day…

Her hand instinctually reached for her stash drawer before she even realized, and in another, she was looking at it's false bottom.

As tempting as it was- and it was very tempting. Drug mixing wasn't smart even if one of them was just an over-the-counter pain reliever, and adding a bad trip on an already shitty day didn't sound fun.

So instead she wrapped herself in the biggest, comfiest shirt she could find and grabbed her laptop, maybe she could distract herself with YouTube.

N: What do you mean by that?

Oh right, she'd never mentioned the fact she'd been held back to him, whoops.

Uzi: I was held back a year. I'm 19.

N: Oh wow! You're older then me!

N: Still it can't have been that bad. Failing a class isn't a reason to not belive you.

Uzi smirked, fingers clicking on the keys of her laptop as she tried to find something to watch- settling on an analysis video of one of the shows she was watching.

Uzi: I was high in class and a teacher called the campus police.

It took nearly twenty minutes for him to respond to that.

N:Sorry, got home and had to get up to my room.

N:You were WHAT?!

N: That's a crime!

Uzi: And so is trespassing on JCJenson private property to ghost hunt.

N blushed, now laying on his bed in a grey pajama shirt and pants with dogs printed on them, he held his phone close to his face as he grumbled, she had him there, but that hadn't really felt like a crime at the time…

N: I think you're a bad influence.

N: Also you're deflecting, drugs are bad! And unhealthy!

Uzi rolled her eyes at that, he wasn't the first person to tell her that. But you know what was worse? Dealing with herself unmedicated, without her stash, her head just got fuzzier and fuzzier, and before she knew it… she'd be having a full mental meltdown at the slightest provocation. Which she hated, she never felt like herself during those…

Uzi: Probably. But you see why they won't believe me over miss perfect.

N: Yeah okay, now I'm gonna be worried tho. I don't want you being hurt.

She smiled at that, this boy was so endlessly empathetic, and thankfully, her unloading some not-so-great facts about herself didn't seem to put him off either.

Uzi: Ew, don't worry over me. That's gay.

And yet she couldn't help but make a joke over it.

N: ???

N: how?

N: how does my worry make me gay?

Uzi: It's not manly.

Uzi: Empathy is a girly emotion.

She was snickering to herself, she didn't actually believe that of course, but she could almost see his reaction to it. That stupid, confused and amused smile that he wore when she made a particularly dumb joke.

N: Guess I'm gay then.

N: Cause I'm always going to worry. You're my freind.

N:Best Freind?

Her heart fluttered full of butterflies at that. Is that what he wanted? From her? She was so convinced he'd find someone else to hang out with but here he was, asking to continue this…

Whatever this was.

Uzi: Always knew I'd end up with a gay best freind.

Uzi: u can't borrow my makeup.

N: Awww, but it would look so good on me!

Uzi thought about that for a moment, imagining N with dark eyeshadow, lipstick, and black nails, and she about choked, she wasn't sure if it was funny or weirdly attractive.

Uzi: Dude that mental image.

Uzi: It's so cursed, I about choked.

N: Blursed

N: It's Blessed and Cursed

The conversation continued, the fuzz in her head slowly dissipating even without the assistance of her stash, and it continued late into the night… up until she heard Khan pull onto the driveway at 2am.

Uzi: Oh god, it's 2am. We need to sleep.

N: I didn't realize! We're gonna be zombies…

Uzi: More of a zombie u mean?

N: Yeh. U still in pain? Are u going to sleep ohay?

N: Okay* oof, sleepy fingers.

Even while about to pass out. He was still worried…

Uzi: I'm okay, pain isn't bad. U need sleep N

N: Ok, text you tmmrow, Uzi. Goodnight.

Uzi: Night N.

[penguin-stars]

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the loutiest of them all?

[helenofsparta2]

R.I.P. the version of Percy Jackson, who spoke competently in front of the senate, fairly easily ridiculed Octavian, and managed to sway the romans to his side simply by providing good arguments and being a natural born leader in Son of Neptune, you will always be famous to me

[twistcmyk]

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately

[basketobread]

Shit. You caught me. Well, it's too late, anyway. My work here is done.

[sharlinefreire]

ok, there's a famous meme in brazil about house md and i don't know if there is an english version for this meme, so i'll try to translate as best i can:

every episode of house md is like

> the patient arrives the hospital.

> the patient is a prostitute or a religious fanatic.

> dr. house attends the patient. she's very sick.

“dr. house, we don't know what to do!! she's bleeding from her eyes!!”

“do the exams, you idiot”

> dr. house will talk with the patient.

“you're stupid. fuck you.”

“dr. house, i hate youuu!! please heal meeee!!”

> cameron, chase and foreman come back to the room.

“dr. house, all the exams were negative. she's gonna die in 2 hours if we do nothing!! will be game over for her.”

“hmmm... game over... oh, there's a gameboy in her ass, that's the problem!”

“dr. house, you're an idiot, but we will check if there really is a gameboy in her ass.”

> they found the gameboy in her ass.

“oh my god, dr. house!! you were right. how did you know that?”

“the gameboys pikachu edition released in 1997 had an iodine-based battery, which if inserted in the butt makes your eyes bleed”

> the patient, cured, enters in the room.

“i was wrong about you, dr. house”

“fuck you, you're a whore! life is pain!!”

> dr. house go to lunch and flirt with dr. wilson <3

> the end.

[asexual--bard]

Have we considered the fact they may be working together?

[bee-can-art]

They’re winners in my heart

• Click for better quality (12/02/2023)    

[chaotic-on-main]

RE4R Leon in his RPD uniform isn't my favorite costume but uhhhh, yanno. there are some perks

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm gonna be annoying about the immunity syndrome, please bear with me:

1. spock calling out humans

2. bones on his 'inject jim with something before asking' agenda

3. no peril gets in the way of jim being able to tease spock

4. mcspirk arguing about which of them is allowed to risk his life for the ship

5. jim going through it and me also going through it even if I know they'll be ok

6. spock might be risking his life but he's sure as hell gonna be a menace about having been chosen over bones to do it

7. AN-TI-BO-DIES (affectionate)

8. scotty is going through it as well

9. whatever the hell this was

[erin-epica]

My TMNT shitposting era has begun.

[kittenscookie]

Bill: Hunny, can ya pass the salt!

Dipper: Don't call me that in public–!

Stanford: *Deep Sigh* Bill it's been decades don't–

*Dipper and Ford Pause to Stare at Each Other*

Stanford: ...

Dipper: ...

Mabel: ...

Stanley: ...

*Everyone Slowly Turns to Bill*

Bill: ......WELL WOULD YA LOOK AT THE TIME—

*Gets Jumped*

[felix-krain]

Sky Children of the Light: the Two Embers

[emolionsrawr]

buck: okay jee, what do we say when mummy and daddy say no more cookies?

jee: pease mama

buck: good girl! *gives her a cookie*

tommy: are you corrupting your niece?

buck: no! i'm teaching her to work the system

tommy: well, don't give her too many cookies or she won't eat her dinner

jee: buh uncle tommy

tommy:

tommy: you can have as many cookies as you want sweetheart

jee: yay! thank you!

buck: i'm so proud of you jee!

[ventique18]

🐉🌸♀️

🌸: "Hornton... Happy Father's Day!"

It was a tasteless joke, given they were in an intimate relationship, but they loved each other enough to appreciate each other's horrible tastes. She was about to drop her punchline, when she was stopped by his astonished face.

An astonished face decorated with a single tear down his cheek.

🌸, shaking in panic: "No, I mean. I didn't-- It's--"

🐉, crumpling to the ground: "Are you pregnant?"

Did he hate the idea so much that he'd actually collapse to the ground in frustration?!

🌸, chuckling awkwardly: "Haha, listen, I--"

🐉: "I'm not alone in the world anymore. Though I have my grandmother, there had always been a nagging emptiness inside me that I could not fill. Perhaps it's simply overcompensating for being orphaned, but I've always wished for a family of my own. Wished, and despaired. Despaired that no one in this world would actually want to be with me."

Well, that was heavy.

🌸: "Umm."

🐉: "But now, you're here with me. I would have been content with just you and me. But you're telling me! You're telling me... A product of our love..."

🐉: "Finally... Another blessing in my wretched life..."

Panic swirled in her stomach. She felt like she might throw up. Her tasteless joke had turned into a cruel joke. Because she was, in fact, not pregnant.

🌸: "Hornton... Darling... Love of my life..."

She started meekly.

🌸: "You know my Roar Roar Drago? The one we bought and paired as your Tamagotchi's wife?"

🌸: "Well, she's the one who's pregnant, not me."

The heavy silence was only broken by the beeping of their Roar Roar Drago asking to be fed.