#im fine with like. almost every other aspect of the show

[snickeringdragon]

snick you need to tell me where ok ko wasted its potential and how you think it could be made better i havent seen anyone talk about this damn show in ages Yes im here because of skiddle's tags hi skiddle. hi snick

AHHAHAHAHAHAA. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. YOU HAVE NO IDEA

AHEM.

ok ko spoilers, obviously

...i should put this under a cut

opens up a powerpoint presentation. ok ko is in my opinion overall a very good show. its incredibly funny, charming, and...sometimes well written story wise. unfortunately it has a very very big failing in a very very big plot point

clicks to the next slide. my beautiful son tko.

tko himself is fine. i have no issues with his CHARACTER. i take issue with how his character is treated. tko is, by himself, a child with anger issues, he reacts very poorly to being agitated but like...

he has to be agitated first.

there is not a single example before season 3 where tko like, wrecks shit or whatever without being provoked, in his debut for example, hes just doing his job (albeit begrudgingly) before enid and rad provoke him, and he starts fighting them

however, the show always seems to act like tko is in the wrong, treats him like a villain despite his mostly heroic acts, is he PERFECT? no!! hes a fucking kid with anger issues!! he was locked inside a mind cage!! he doesnt know how to deal with things so he hits them!!! he just. happens to be able to hit things very very hard and with lightning bolts.

another example is the season 1 finale, youre in control. in yic tko. literally doesnt do anything wrong. like im not joking.

in yic tko gets let out to fight boxman jr and like...he does that. he throws boxman jr back to boxmore and then chases him over to boxmore. he does not attack a single hero in this episode. he does not do any damage to the plaza. the worst thing he does in this episode is put ko back in the cage. yet its STILL treated like hes doing something wrong???

another thing about tko. tko wants freedom. he says this outright. being locked inside a literal cage will do that to ya. i want to make sure real quick that we're on the same page here that locking a 6-11 year old boy inside a cage is bad no matter how badly he is at managing his anger issues right. right. okay. tko deserved to be uncaged. and he WAS. except...

when he gets out of the cage in youre in control. thats great and all but...his next appearance, tkos house, hes still upset. he still wants his freedom. its just that instead of being locked in a cage hes locked in a (pretty cool honestly) house. it doesnt matter how nice you make an enclosure, sometimes itll just never work for the animal. and thats what tko is like, he wants out, he wants control over the body, which like. is fucking fair?? im someone who REALLY understands the importance of going outside often, tko really deserves to be allowed outside their headspace. its good for you.

but tko DOESNT. GET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he shows up. LITERALLY TWICE in season 2 (thats 40 episodes!) and NEITHER of his appearances (tkos house, dark plaza) does he even get to use the body on his own!! its always fused as pko!! he doesnt get a turn!!

and then when season three starts. uh. glances at tko rules. Yeah. The Subconscious. he gets trapped in a dark empty void for [checks notes] about two weeks. minimum.

what im getting at here. is that tko never really left that cage.

okay. im gonna touch on one more tko thing. the FUCKING finale. [furious]

quick recap, in the finale ko and tko have a plot twist moment where "oh hey! ko and tko are the same person actually! and now theyve accepted eachother as the same person and can be happy! hooray!" except like. mko (finale fusion) is just ko

like seriously hes JUST ko. his design? leaning towards kos features. his personality? LITERALLY just ko theres not a hint of tko there. its not the two of them "accepting eachother" or whatever its. its the writers killing off tko.

as well as like. a guy i know pointed this out and i cannot fucking get over it. if they were just going to ""fuse the two"" in the end then WHY. in GODS NAME. is tkos LITERAL FIRST LINE OF DIALOGUE.

"no, not ko."

hes so fucking INSISTENT on correcting people when they call him ko (which is ANOTHER gripe i have with this show. NOBODY calls him his name) and they just. oh yeah hes actually ko lol. LIKE DUDE. THIS ISNT HOW YOU WRITING.

i didnt even mention the issues regarding system stereotypes. i didnt even mention dark plaza since i was focusing on tko. i didnt even. theres so much. i need to stop. now. goodbye.

[minnies-puppydoll]

{ Kinkmas Day 2: }

🎁 .*• Gift Wrapped •*. 🎁

pairing: minho x reader

summary: what's the best way to spend time with your lover if you aren't tied up? minho found a new skill to teach his viewers, and you just so happen to be the test dummy.

warnings: hard dom!minho, bondage, camming, sex toys, praise, degradation, impact play, overstimulation, exibitionism, homosexual/ship implications, if i missed any let me know!!

note: IM SORRY THIS SHIT IS SO LATE🫣

dating someone like minho was sure an adventure. you were aware of his camming job before you really got official, and to be honest, it wasnt really a suprise to you.

minho has always come across as a domineering person. of course, he still has his sweet, almost motherly caring moments for you…when he isn’t forcing your legs apart and showing his viewers how to treat a slutty pussy like yours.

even his humor seems sadistic, its like in every aspect of life, he loves to see you writhing the most.

minho’s cam show is all about BDSM instruction. all of the content is based around sexual safety and health, while also keeping it pornographic with live demonstrations, starring his obedient, loving girlfriend.

tonight’s live was no different, but it was a little intimidating you have to admit. minho would go out every week to this unknown location, he wouldn’t tell you what it was about, and when you asked he just said it was a suprise.

you were about to assume the worst, till he came home with a long, tied up cord of red rope hanging out of his bag, and peered at you excitedly.

it was a face you were very familiar with, a pleased, almost shy smile lit up his face as he greeted you, before taking your hand and coaxing you into the bedroom.

he told you he has been going to shibari classes for his streams, and he wants to play with you on live and show everyone what he learned.

you were hesitant at first, till you remembered, if he’s been taking classes for this long then he’s probably good, and you know for a fact minho, being the responsible dom he is, would never try something like this on you unless he was sure he was good.

so here you sat, all pretty in a lace black set, next to the intimidating bundles of shibari rope that’ll be restricting you soon, along with a few other selected toys. but it’s fine. you trust your boyfriend to do what’s best for you.

“alright..everything is all set up. are you sure you want to do this? it’s never too late to back out if you feel uncomfortable.”

“yeah! honestly..i was a little nervous, but now i’m getting pretty excited.”

“oh? is the pretty whore already messing up her new set? such a good girl, but does she remember her safewords?”

“uh huh!”

“go on then.”

“red means stop, yellow means pause and discuss, and green means keep going!”

“good girl! such a smart little thing aren’t you?”

the large webcam setup clicks on, revealing you and minho in the reflection. the familiar system of the camsite focuses you as minho hovers over the livecam button.

“we are live in 3..2..1!”

minho sits on the bed next you, prettily fixing up his hair and taking on a serious look in his eyes, before cheerfully saying his intro as viewers flood and start commenting.

bbok.flx: omg i was first ㅜㅜ that’s a bit embarrassing..

j.onee: i had this stream time on an alarm bro

“hello everyone, you’ve just joined lee know’s weekly sexual education stream..”

you giggled to yourself, you knew lee know was just an online alias, but it was still such a cute name for an intimidating man like your minho.

“if you’re new here, i’m lee know. i work as a professional dom, and this is my little demonstration doll right here next to our topic object tonight.”

minho moved behind you, stroking his hands over your soft body to show you off. you relax in his touch, fluttering your lashes to the camera in front of you.

“there she is. isn’t she pretty? god..look at that, this whore is already wet for all of you.”

the chat moves faster, reading all of these filthy comments about you works you up even further. a few even make you laugh a bit.

fck_hyune: i love seeing her tits. the things i would do to a girl like that ughh

j.onee: i should be her god THIS ISNT FAIR.

minho cracks a loud slap to your thigh, before picking up the rope and unwravelling it slowly, making a bit of a show for the audience. he holds it up to the camera, sliding it between his hands like a pet.

“that’s right, the lesson starting tonight is bondage. i will be teaching you how to safely execute shibari ties on a submissive. this is only lesson one of this subject, so i will only demonstrate one full tie for you this stream.”

minho reads a few comments, then bites his lip, smiling devilishly.

cbbang97: cute rope lee know, but we all know who the real slut is~

he sighs before placing his hands on your shoulders and leaning down to rest his head on you, arching his back a bit behind you so the chat can see his pretty hips and gorgeous thick thighs you and the audience fantasize about.

“excited? i can feel you squirming behind your screens, but you all know the rules. i’ll only go through with the lesson if you pay the fuck up, hm? i want three hundered in donations right now, or i’ll just end the stream now and leave this slut untouched.

minho commands the chat, and you know he isn’t bluffing either. you rub your thighs together and smile when donations start to flood in. but only 105 dollars? that isn’t enough for minho.

“tch. really? you expect to excite me with that pitiful amount? seriously, pay it or i’m done.”

j.onee: SOMEONE PLZ PAY SERIOUSLY IM BROKE AS FUCK

bbok.flx: hehe i got u one sec ^o^

minho cuts his eyes at the camera, tapping his finger impatiently, before looking pleased at the large donation of 300 on its own. that’s more than what he asked for, and he swears he can feel his cock growing in his pants at the sound of the donation ring.

“good job. all of you are being so good for me, follwing directions, want this lesson now as a reward? let’s begin with a chest harness.”

minho sits behind you, he pets your hair sweetly, spreading the rope out in his hand. he sticks his tongue out obscenely before licking up the rope, his dark eyes never leaving the camera.

“start with your rope doubled by looping it in your fingers, then simply wrap it around the submissive, just under their chest.”

he follows his words expertly sliding the looped rope under your boobs, he does it slowly though, making sure he doesn’t hurt you.

“loop the end through the back, then repeat again.”

his words aren’t loud or aggressive, yet you’re sure they could make a mountain move. you say nothing and keep still, letting whatever pretty commands he makes flow out of his mouth. you swear you’d serve him for the rest of your life, your sweet love.

. . .

as the ties and teachings go on for a while, you feel yourself slipping into a familiar, euphoric headspace and the feeling of the restricting rope over your shoulders and breasts, down to your tied up wrists behind your back.

he occasionally answers questions in chat about parts of the knots, or ask you your color.even though it took a long time, you feel like it was over too soon as he tightens the final knot over your ribcage. despite streaming porn, he still leans down and kisses your head sweetly, checking on you.

“feel good? is anything too tight? just say the word and ill comepletely untie it.”

“it feels so good, min-“

he quickly puts a finger up to his mouth, reminding you to not say his real name.

“ah! sorry! it feels fine, lee know.

minho smiles and kisses your cheek, before moving up to sit in front of the camera to show you off.

“this is what the harness should look like when it’s completed. did you follow along? im sure you did such a good job. you always do, y’know?”

j.onee: it would be better if u did it on me instead food for thought

ppup_m1nnie: j.one a simp fr

cbinniwh0re: hes not letting you hit bro

j.onee: SHUT UP

“silly things. getting impatient? should we move on to the fun part of the stream?”

the chat moves at a crazy speed. a few eager viewers have already donated and sent requests, but minho already knows what he wants to do today.

minho adjust you to sit center in front of the camera. he picks up two toys to play with, and holds them to the camera. letting chat decide what he’ll use on your restricted form first.

in his left hand, he holds a pretty clit sucker with purple accents. in his right, he holds a black riding crop with a red heart.

“i’ll be nice and give you a choice today, hm? say A if you wanna see me use this clit sucker on her pretty pussy before i fuck her brains out, or B if you want me to mark her ass red with the crop. choose wisely between pleasure or pain.”

ppup_m1nnie: B

cbbang97: B for sure

bbok.flx: srry but B would be so hot god

j.onee: A PLS OMG

ppup_m1nnie: …

ppup_m1nnie: block j.one

j.onee: BRUH

“hm..looks like B is the winner. you wanna see her suffer that bad, huh?”

minho places the clit sucker on his bedside for later use. he sits back behind you, putting his hand over your eyes and dragging the smooth leather of the crop along your back.

his jaw drops with yours in faux arousal, imagining how you must feel. he takes his hand off your eyes and pushes you face down on the bed. he feels your pretty ass in his hands, you know he loves your ass.

minho stops teasing and lets the crop crack down on your ass for the first time. you yelp loud like a puppy, flinching at the sting. it hurts, but the first time only makes you wanna feel more. you swallow and relax your bdoy for him, waiting for his next strike.

“color?”

“green.”

“i love you.”

“i know. i love you too, min-“

the next hit lands right after your sentence. this one feels like fire, it ignites with pain but burns like pleasure through your dripping cunt.

“what’s my name?”

“mm’fuck..lee know?”

“wrong.”

minho pulls you up by a firm grip on the ropes tied around your arms, his mouth right next to your ear. you squirm in the ropes uselessly in his grasp.

“what’s my name, whore.

“lee know! it’s lee know!”

this time it’s his hand that corrects you, spanking you once with a harder force than the crop. he moves you closer by your neck slightly, pressing your red ass against his bulge, wetting the fabric.

“if you keep getting it wrong i’ll just keep hurting you. you know what i wanna hear from that dirty mouth, slut. you’re doing this to yourself.”

you can barely respond. his words alone have your mind fuzzy and dumb for him already, and his cock isn’t even in you yet.

“answer me. i won’t ask you again.”

you’re quickly woken up from your daze when minho lets go of you and drops you down on the bed. the ropes on your arms make you fall directly on your chest, ending with a painful hit with the crop. this one hurt the most, but it also had you crying out in pleasure for your dom.

“sir! sir- that’s your fucking name, sir..fucking feels so good..”

“ah, so you do know how to use your words.”

“please..need your big cock s’bad, sir..”

you grind your hips down on his bulge desperately as more begs spill from your lips.

“well, you know the rules. if they wanna see that, they have to give me their fucking money.”

minho grinds himself back on your pussy, letting out a few shaky breaths at the feeling of the tension in his pants being slightly relieved. he looks at the camera with a slutty expression on his face.

“fuck..you all have been so good, i think you deserve a reward. wanna see me fuck this bitch into the mattress?”

fck_hyune: god fuck yes

j.onee: fucking a dildo rn thinking of you

j.onee: wish it was your fucking cock pounding me instead while i eat her out

bbok.flx: realest take ive ever heard

i.yen.01: i wish i was HIM. her little noises are so cute jsndbn

“seems like a yes. you all know the drill, get the donations up to eight hundered and this cock is all yours.”

minho flips you over on your back restraints and unzips his pants, he makes a show out of pulling his dripping cock out of his boxers. he’s always been big, that attitude he has isn’t for nothing. he bats his lashes at the camera, while circling his thick, pink tip with his thumb.

he dips his thumb into his slit and lets out a faint moan at the feeling. he chuckles shyly at the noise he made and teases his chat.

“ah..look at it fucking dripping..this is what you paid for.”

fck_hyune: im so broke now but ts is worth every penny so far

cbinniwh0re: hey who says i need to pay rent

j.onee: fuckk i need that fucking cock in my mouth noww ur streams are torture.

minho looks down at you, he moves the hair out of your face and circles his hand soothingly along the small of your back.

“still okay, sweet girl? ropes good?”

you arch your back and squirm your arms to show him that the ropes are secure and not too tight.

“hm. okay. color?”

“green, jus’ want your cock.”

you pout. minho hums and running his cock through your folds, collecting the wetness on his tip and jerking it softly. he runs his finger up a vein and throbs around nothing till more precum drips down his cock.

all you can hear are the obscene sounds of him jerking his wet cock and letting out soft airy moans. it torture. you just want him inside you, but the ropes leave you helpless and pliant as you just whine impatiently at his sounds.

without warning, he spreads you open and slides his cock inside, forcing more in with short, forceful thrusts. he circles his hips inside you slowly once he’s all the way in.

“fuck! sir, yes! so fucking big.. mmplease fuck me please i’m such a good girl-“

minho shoves your head down into the pillows and grabs something off the counter. you feel something attach to your clit and start sucking it roughly. the clit sucker from earlier. it’s too much. you squirm your hips around, but all that does is work minho inside you deeper.

“if you’re such a good girl, then fucking take it.”

minho graps the ropes on your wrists as leverage to pull you back on his cock over and over. he just started moving and he’s already pounding the shit out of you. the double stimulation of the suction on your clit and the cock rubbing along your g-spot, already has you close.

“ah! fuck! fuckfuckfuck sir don’t fucking stop please..”

“gonna cum already? go ahead but im not stopping till i cum.”

he reaches under you and clicks the clit sucker into a higher setting that has you squirting around his cock in seconds. your eyes roll back as your thighs tremble and drip from your intense orgasm.

minho takes the clit sucker off of your puffy, wet clit and leans forward, he places his hands on either sides of your waist and fucks into you roughly. pounding your pussy just the way you like.

your brain is absolute mush. you’ve never cum that quickly before in your life, and he won’t stop.

“you like that huh? like being my little fucktoy on livestream? want everyone to see your little pussy leak my cum everywhere?”

“yes! fuck yes, pleaseplease- mark me, claim my fucking cunt, sir..”

“okay. just for you..fuck, i’m gonna cum..”

with a few more satisfying thrusts and he’s spilling inside you. rutting out his orgasm inside you and placing sweet kisses down your back.

“sweet girl..milking my cock. keep all my fucking cum, you earned it. such a good girl.”

minho pulls out, you’re about to protest till you feel something else sliding inside you. minho places a pretty, red plug in your pussy, keeping all his cum inside you.

“shh. you can rest for a second while i wrap up stream, okay? i love you.”

“i know, i love you too. minho.” you whisper.

. . .

“so! did you all enjoy the stream? did you get to cum too? i hope so.”

j.onee: i don’t think i’ve ever cum so hard in my life

fck_hyune: ..i don’t know which of you i’d rather be honestly

“im glad you did, but! it’s time to say goodbye. don’t be sad though. the next stream is in a week anyway so stay tuned. say bye bye!”

bbok.flx: awe bye bye ;(

cbinniwh0re: byebye silly

cbbang97: ill miss youuuuu

ppup_m1nnie: bye yall

j.onee: ILY SEE U IN A WEEK

ppup_m1nnie: glazer

“hm, see you soon, j.one.”

j.onee: OH MY GOD

ppup_m1nnie: oh shit

taglist: @estella-novella @thatonedarkskinnedsiren @theresstardustinmyblood @annafeebou @pancake-freckle @elizalabs3 @minniesverse @loxgirl2004 @mintymintmint251 @y-ur--i @liv1sworld

pink=didnt work

[waitingandwishing]

hiiiii ! :D first, i just wanted to say that i love your writing so much !! <3 i was wondering if you could do the sbg gang x fem reader that suddenly breaks down and starts crying. reader is usually very calm, level-headed, and always happy. she stays positive no matter what, she tries to lift the mood, and just looks out for everyone emotionally & physically. she never talks about or shows any negative emotions like being really sad or angry or stressed. but everything with the phantoms and her friends getting hurt, eventually takes a toll on her and she just breaks down for the first time and admits she’s scared.

it can be platonic on romantic !!

also im sorry the request is long 😭 i havent really requested anything before and idk if i described it right

tysm!!!

-> context: you've always been the greatest

-> fandom:school bus graveyard

-> warnings: angst.

Platonic:

You've always tried to be a good friend. That was the main thing that defined every aspect of your life. Whether it be giving Ashlynn earbuds whenever it got too loud, talking with Aiden because he needed someone to vent to, letting Ben relax with you in comfortable silence, reassuring Logan that he's enough, letting Taylor let out her frustrations about her mom, or helping Tyler with cleaning up the house and cooking. You were always there.

And it was so hard to be this way. To not want to scream and cry and throw things everywhere. It was so hard. But you had grown used to it. Grown used to stomaching the sight of blood every time you wrapped your friend's wounds, grown used to being someone they could lean on even if you were so close to snapping.

No one really noticed how your smile fell slightly every time they weren't talking to you or how you stopped saying, "I'm fine." as quickly as you used to. No one really noticed when you just sat in silence with a blank face.

You were always alert to others' discomfort, checking in on the others constantly, even when you were exhausted. You went out of your way to cook, patch people up, or stay up late keeping watch. You were so put together and seemingly... Perfect.

But it was hard to be perfect when your two friend's just died and you ended up being kidnapped by the government. Thankfully, before you could fully explode, Logan had found a way to get every one out of their rooms and found you.

You were so grateful, but the first thing you did like always was to ask him, Ashlynn, and Taylor how they were feeling. You knew this was definitely overwhelming for them. Eventually, the whole group managed to gather into Tyler's room and talk about things while you helped manage his wounds.

As they talked, you felt like you were going to explode, this was so stupid! The fear, the stress, the anger you felt boiled within you before eventually flooding through your body.

You were so angry, so tired of everything, that you started to cry. Weirdly enough, you also felt absolutely nothing as you did. It was only when Logan asked if you were okay that you started to wipe the incoming tears. "Y-yeah, I'm fine! I don't know why I'm crying right now, haha..."

You were sure that the others were feeling the exact same thing, and instead of being selfish and crying, they were probably trying to figure out a way to escape. You were being stupid for crying, the thought repeated inside your head multiple times. You tried to stop, tried to keep the feelings in, but it hurt so much that it was almost suffocating.

It was only when Taylor went to hug you that you fully embraced your sobs. You cried for the longest time, sobs racked your body and you gasped for air. You felt so overwhelmed that you felt like you were drowning.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'm like this... I-I'm trying but I'm so scared! This is so stupid and attention-seeking-"

For once, you didn't know what to do. Logan soon started to cry as well, hugging you and confessing he was scared shitless too, Aiden also joined in on the hug, Ashlynn simply sat down on the bed, Ben wrapped an arm around Taylor, and Tyler begrudgingly joined in as well.

For some reason, you had never felt more seen in your life.

ASHLYNN:

As the unspoken leader of the group, she had so much stress put on her to figure out plans to escape the dimension. So she appreciated it whenever she could vent to you about how she felt.

But when you were at the facility and you started crying, she couldn't help but feel as though she didn't do as good of a job as she could've done. If that were her, you'd notice right away that something was wrong. But she didn't notice anything wrong. And that honestly made her feel... Guilty.

Ashlynn vowed from then and there she'd start paying more attention, to try and be more mindful about what she said, and be there for everyone just like you were so then you didn't have to care for everyone alone. Similarly to what you did for her.

AIDEN:

As someone who knows what it's like to never be seen and taken seriously, Aiden felt horrible. He should've seen the signs, the fake smiles that were similar to his back then, the darker bags under your eyes...

He almost felt like crying along with you and Logan too. He knew what it was like, how to feel that way about yourself. It felt so wrong to have simply brushed off your feelings for the sake of his because that was what others did to him (As my headcanon of course)

Aiden tried to be a better friend after that. To try to stop talking about himself and ask how you felt. To take a second and simply enjoy the moment with you and the others instead of living through it. To be more mindful about his awareness to the best of his abilities.

LOGAN:

He liked you a lot actually. You were someone he trusted to be vulnerable with unlike the rest of the group. He liked knowing you were there for him and liked knowing how understanding you were, he just wished he could have done the same for you.

You understood him more then most people did. And when you started to cry it broke his heart. You kept in so much for the sake of being there for others, you tried so hard to be nice and joyful like always. Oh it was just too much for him to handle and all of a sudden he was crying with you too.

Logan wanted to be stronger like always. Stronger for the group, and stronger for you as well. So then he could manage to pull through by himself without depending on you and also so you could deal with your own problems without juggling his as well.

TAYLOR:

She knew that you were always such a friendly and kind person but had no idea you were feeling this way about yourself. Of course she didn't though, nobody did because you were so good at hiding it. She knew that you were one of the most amazing people out there, that somehow you were able to understand everyone in the groups problems.

So it broke her heart when you started saying how self-centered you were for crying. For doing a normal thing all people would do in a situation like this. She felt your body shake as she hugged you tightly, and it scared her. It reminded her of her mom when her dad died, how badly it affected her. She didn't want anyone, especially her friend who she cared deeply about, to feel that way.

Taylor wants to be someone you can go to. Someone you can also rely on and someone you can talk to. She doesn't want you to feel like your relationship with the group is transactional because of how you're kind of like the group therapist.

TYLER:

He understands you a lot more then you think. He was unfortunately given the role of 'caretaker' in his family when his father died, and you were a big help in helping them get back on their feet even before Savannah.

Seeing you have the weight of 'group therapist' on your shoulders resonated with him a lot more then he thought it would've. He understands why you felt the way you felt more then a lot of people could and that furthers your connection between each other.

Tyler is someone who understands you. Someone you can also talk to when you're feeling overwhelmed by emotions and/or feeling like you can't tell anyone in fear of being a burden.

BEN:

He knows what it’s like to bottle up the pain. He did it through anger, you did it through positivity. Your joy reminded him of who he was before his life started to fall apart.

He knows what it’s like to fall apart alone. So watching you finally unravel, especially when you've been the strong one for everyone, hits him hard. He felt helpless, because there was no fixing this, and he knows it. But there’s also understanding. Deep, aching empathy. He gets it. He gets it.

Ben can be what no one was for him, a hand in the dark. He doesn’t need to talk at all. His comfort comes from just being there, anchoring you with a steady presence. There's a small painful sense of gratitude, because this is where his pain means something. It helps someone else.

(a/n: I was sort of stumped on how to do this one so I'm so sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting!!!)

[genderqueerdykes]

"How to deal w a longtime friend that at some point became a radfem?" anon here, thank you for responding Equinox, ur awesome!

Im sending this since someone asked in the comments: we were friends and I did genuinely enjoy her presence, she just had certain behaviors at times that I didn't really like. But due to her being the more upfront type than me, and due to me being more passive and conflict avoidant, I figured I needed to keep a balance, or often pushed my own feelings to the side.

I figured she didn't consciously mean anything bad by the things she said, which is true. She acted more direct in some ways because she had that type of personality and partially due to being autistic/having a different understanding of communication (i later on realised i was autistic too), and since I knew I had been more sensitive my entire life, I didn't want to take it personally.

She was supportive of me and never outright bullied me or anything, it was mostly the smaller things that ended up bothering me, that she didn't notice as a problem. Partially because I never told her, I didn't tell her because I didn't want to make a big deal out of something small, and because I didn't want to start conflict with her. I also often doubted myself.

She was at some point my only friend outside of immediate family (due to us at school)

She currently isnt constantly present in my life and I've been keeping a distance from her for some time.

Throughout the years after the school where we were together, I have constantly had longer amounts of time when I didn't have the energy to text her back. This is partially due to my adhd, and its something I felt quite guilty about, but I also noticed because our texting styles were different (she was fast, and i was slower), and she was sometimes impatient or texted "?" despite being able to see me typing, and at times was annoyed at me for taking so long to respond to certain questions I wanted to answer in a more thought-out wall of text way. Also very occasionally she'd try to read into my texting speed to tease me about a topic, despite that there wasnt any correlation.

Basically almost every time I started texting her we'd end up texting for like an hour or two real time, which tired me out and I ended up procrastinating texting her back.

I currently have other friends, some that are really close and I love, and I dont have this texting issue with them. It also just feels different with them in general than with her. Though I did share my interests with her and we did have them in common, it felt that I sorta needed to cover up or protect some parts of myself when with her, or that I had to defend myself in some way, like there's a "wall" of some sort with her compared to with my close ones.

I was understanding of her, and I listened to her vent and talk about her problems, and she appreciated that very much, but when it came to myself I didn't feel she was as understanding of me, and I didn't really like to talk about my issues or certain aspects of myself, because it felt she just outright didn't understand me.

Like ie, we both have abusive parents, though they are different from one another. Hers are shitty and more neglectful, mine are also shitty but more clingy/controlling. I understand that we have differences and its what I kept in mind when on this topic, but when I talk about my own she was like "when they yell why dont you just walk away? They cant do anything about you just leaving" but like... They literally keep you in place and doing so would piss them off even more? Maybe even lead to physical violence? They can barely handle slight attitude. It's fine if you have a different perspective, but why cant you understand it on the most basic level? And even if you don't understand, why do I have to justify and overexplain myself here, why cant you show basic decency and understand different perspectives? I never do this towards you?

I didn't like to bring up certain topics about myself since I felt I needed to justify myself or convince her, even when she wasn't even being reasonable or actually listening to me.

The more I think about our relationship, the more I realise how many issues we had that I brushed off. Without realising, I have had problems throughout my entire life with seeing myself as inherently broken, and so having to make myself palatable to the people that liked me, as if they were doing me a favour. When I think back on myself and her hanging out, it felt like I was more the "me" that she wanted or thought of me as, rather than who I actually was.

After realising and accepting I was autistic and surrounding myself with people that understand and love me unconditionally, I felt much better and confident about who I was, who I get along with and what I stand for. I realised that this people pleasing isn't sustainable nor healthy.

I am currently trying to distance myself, as I don't really want this friendship anymore. I'm not sure about reaching out to her suddenly and just giving her a wall of text, I'm more thinking about, once we inevitably start texting again, being more upfront and firm in my beliefs and what I'm comfortable with. It'd probably cause conflict, and I don't feel she would change her beliefs about it. We'd likely break off that way, and I much prefer that over having to continue upkeeping an image of constant tolerance.

Anyways, I really appreciate the work you do, Equinox! You really helped me feel more comfortable in my own queer identity, and understand the spread of radfeminism and other harmful stuff in the current queer community! I know you got a lot of asks, so please don't overwork yourself! ❤️ Take care!

im so sorry you had to deal with that, but im proud of you for realizing you deserve better. thank you for giving us some more info, take care of yourself

[year2000electronics]

do u watch the sonic movies just for agent stone and robotnik

i mean... originally i was going to, yeah! the exact moment the first ever trailer dropped (april 30, 2019) i was already enamored with jim carrey robotnik, and ready to accept that even if sonic's design didn't get changed (which, come on, this is hollywood... usually if an adaptation sucks then it sucks til the bitter end. some of us certainly didnt see the redesign coming), this movie would be my cult classic. flop or no flop. ugly or pretty sonic.

i guess because... i saw a lot of myself in the spin jim was putting on the character! eggman had always been the sonic character that fascinated me the most as i played all the mario & sonic crossover games as a kid, but the particular interpretation of this robotnik- flowing black coats with red trim, someone who grew up as a very lonely kid and so now compensates with leaning into the "lone wolf of evil" aesthetic, someone who has a hard time emoting and feels more like machine than a person so compensates with BIG, LOUD THEATRICS, and a BOMBASTIC TONE OF VOICE! i looked at him and i saw me. i know it sounds a little silly and a lot of jimbotnik's traits come from the fact that that's just jim carrey's style of humour and slapstick but he's just always been kinda special to me even from the beginning.

but yknow, then sonic's design gets fixed! exciting! and february 2020 rolls around, the EXCITEMENT is in the AIR. me i was always going to be fine, nothing about rob needed to be fixed, but now people are actually EXCITED for the movie! YAY!! i head into the movie, and robotnik is everything i could have ever wanted and more. he's silly. he's COOL. he has his own DANCE SCENE. but then i keep getting flashbanged by these SCENES where robotnik keeps getting like, really handsy with his little assistant he has? like he's putting his hands in his mouth and telling him to pin himself against the wall? and then this emotionally-constipated MESS of a man shouts "I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE THEM???" WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WAIT WE'RE JUST MOVING ON? ARE WE GONNA GO BACK? NO?! OKAY!!

so obviously im in love with them. with that aspect of the movie. this improvised relationship where both actors asked themselves the question "wait, if robotnik hates humans, why does he keep this one around?" and that question would stick with me for all these 3 movies. it's just so interesting to think about. not to mention how well stone and robotnik just work together as an onscreen duo

but, y'know, then i started really liking the movie's strange, wacky style of storytelling and jokes- i had never seen a cgi animal movie that took the human characters THIS seriously yknow? and by that i mean characters like tom are goofy ofc but it feels like in movies like smurfs they almost want you to not care about the humans, but here, you have stone going from Figurehead for Robotnik's Parade of Black Suits to Guy Who Genuinely Has An Emotional B-Plot In Sonic 3, because of the love fans showed for the character and for how jim carrey and lee majdoub played off each other. even characters like maddie get more in movie 2 because of how tika sumpter said she wanted her character to do more LIKE... LIKE?!

the humour really gets me too, its so strange in a fun way i love. if i was just watching it for rob and stone i wouldnt be watching the knuckles show. ive grown to ADORE the world of the sonic movies, and the actual superpowered animals are cute too! i like their designs, and yknow, this love i have for the sonic movies HAS inspired me to check out more of the games, the shows, the comics, not only to see more of my beloved robotnik (who, yes, i love EVERY version of now. no version of the eggman can escape my love. he is the perfect man) but also to see the other parts of sonic lore because even if it's not like sonic is my fav of all time... i like the storytelling now!!

but stuff like that- my entire lil rant- i think it's why i try not to get gatekeepy when it comes to fandom. because for every series you were there for in the beginning and have an encyclopedic knowledge of, you will have another one where you're only there for a small part or only have a casual enjoyment of. i like to afford other people that kindness because there come times and places when i will be a casual enjoyer of something, and hopefully people will afford that kindness back to me. because even if i do explore other parts of sonic lore and diligently appreciate all parts of the movie, maybe the fact that i'm so robotnik-&-stone centric is still being too much of a casual for some people. maybe i'm only a fairweather fan. even so- even if people think i'm only watching these movies for rob & stone-

i'm having fun!

[dreamsy990]

so, re:chain of memories, huh?

warning! its been a little while since i played through recom, so the game isnt as fresh in my mind as some others. sorry for any innacuracies!

spoiler alert, this is my second favorite kingdom hearts game. at least of the ones i've played so far. i get that this isn't like. a POPULAR opinion but fuck you i have almost nothing but positives to say about it.

let's start with the easy stuff first. recom introduced a new card-based combat system. i cant compare it to the gba version, since i didn't play that, but i can say that for what its worth i DID enjoy the combat. recom is by far the hardest game so far (at least for me) and almost every boss took multiple days for me to beat, even with my hp maxed out. it took me a while to get the combat system, but id honestly love to replay the game now that i have a better understanding of how it works. the card system requires a lot of quick thinking and i get that it isnt everyones taste but its CERTAINLY mine. every fight is difficult and feels genuinely rewarding when you win. the movement, like kh1, can use a lot of work, but i wouldnt call it terrible. just kinda sluggish. i think my favorite boss fight was larxene. shes a pain in the ass but i love her.

i think riku's side dropping the deck building mechanic isnt terrible, but i wish i could reorder his deck at the very least. and the lack of healing cards is. not fun. basically any damage you take is permanent unless you HAPPEN to get mickey and its simply Not a fun time. im not very good at games okay.

i have a lot less to say about the worlds than the combat. they're definitely the worst aspect of the game, though. the idea of making worlds with cards is fine! it just leads to kind of repetitive world design. the stories are forgettable, so forgettable that i literally forgot them. and i could make a point about how thats the idea its a game all about forgetting things!! but honestly that just making excuses for it. the worlds couldve kept the idea of forgetting things without literally making them forgettable. i say this about every world, except for one. because DESTINY ISLANDS

destiny islands is just. so fucking good in recom. its the climax of both sora and rikus stories and i think theyre both amazing. id have to say i prefer rikus, soley because of the visual storytelling you get from his side of it, and thats not to say soras is bad at all. but something about zexion telling riku that its his fault his home was destroyed, as riku sees a version of himself turning into a literal monster? thats just good okay. its really good.

i ADORE the characters in this game too. everything we get from them is sooo good. it's the introduction to the organization and all of them (except lexaeus who did literally nothing) are a treat. axels my favorite ofc, but larxene is such a fun villain, you love to hate her. shes really the star of the org cast in this game. sure, axels may have said its his show now, but larxene stole the spotlight.

its namines introduction, too, and i love her. on one hand, shes just really kind. she wants a friend, she wants someone to talk to, she wants to meet sora. on the other, shes just a little bit fucked up actually. sure, shes honest with sora, but shes the tiniest little bit guilt trippy and i LOVE THAT. her response to sora saying he wants to get back his own memories and forget her is "oh okay. you want to remember your REAL friends, huh? theyre the ones who REALLY matter to you? yeah anyone would want that. no friends for namine i guess." like shes just a bit salty and we love that for her. i want slightly guilt tripping and salty namine back nomura.

but ofc one of my favorite new characters in this game HAS to be repliku. god i ADORE repliku. his hatred for riku is sooo fun and the way he fights with sora is great too. like in soras side i thought he was a neat villain but rikus side? hes amazing omfg. one of the only villains i liked in rikus story (sorry lexaeus, you werent good until days)

over all, this game certainly isnt everyones cup of tea, but its DEFINITELY mine. it's the game im most excited to replay at some point, mostly because of the amazing boss fights. 9/10. its got issues, but the story and characters are so good that i genuinely could not care less about like. most of them.

[gemapples]

im so sorry it took me so long to answer these oml but YES i'd be happy to show how i draw and color :)

— SKETCHING

please note that i almost always sketch traditionally first lol it's just a lot easier for me to determine how the drawing is placed that way, but i always go over and re-sketch it digitally

for magolor i always start with a basic egg shape (lmao) and then i add his ears. then I draw the scarf; it's easy to determine the shape and dynamicism based on where the bottoms of the ears are located

then i usually add the cape and hood together. where and how these are placed and what these look like in general are very important because they're the main area that perspective is directed to (the ears and everything else is important too ofc!! but the hood and cape usually help demonstrate where he is looking and how he is moving the most). then i add everything else, usually his hands last!

— LINEART

ohhhhhh god my worst enemy. Hope youre sitting down because this will be embarrassing LMAO

lineart is easily what i struggle with most and is more often than not the most time consuming and grating step for me. If i had a choice i would drop it in a heartbeat, but my style is so dependent on thick lines and shapes that it's difficult to 😭 a hole i dug myself into unfortunately ITS FINE THOUGH. ANYWAYS I'm getting sidetracked

i use my finger to draw all my digital art, which means i usually have to use a Heavy stabilizer to avoid shakiness and staggered lines. Unfortunately ibis paint's stabilizer is actually dog water and doesn't even stabilize more than half the time (in which case i have to repeat lines over. And over. And over again until i get it right) but when it does like me and works properly it's very helpful!

i always use the soft school pen bleed brush as my main tool for lineart. This brush has been my best friend for everything, i even use it for sketching idk it just really like the way it looks lol. sometimes i change the aspect if i want the lines to look more ,, chalky?? or smoother depending on the work

i don't really use this tool much but for this specific piece, force fade was my partner in crime

also i think i need to mention that i use so many layers for this. So many layers lol like to the point it's embarrassing. and at the end i merge most of them (except for the gear patterns, rings on his ear, and eyes + hands, which usually need to be by themselves as they're colored separately) Thank you for layers

and i end up with this!

— COLORING && SHADING

yippee yahoo the fun part !!! the part that i love the most

at this point, if i havent already, i always create a folder for convenience in organization because this is the part that i stress the most about what details are on which layers lmao

then i add ANOTHER layer below that for the color, then i put every single color used on their own separate layer!

now, for shading, if im working on larger pieces with more complex shading, i'll usually plan it all out. normally when just drawing magolor, i don't really need to do this anymore because i'm so used to it lol, but for funsies i did it here anyways

then i use the bucket tool to fill them all in

i usually have a set color palette for all the characters i draw (though the way i shade white differs. A lot between my work as you can probably tell fhdfgf). For every color, i have two specific tones that are associated with the shading. for example, indigo + violet are shaded with my blue, pink + light orange (or lighter pink depending on my mood lol) are shaded with yellow, etc.

so, i shade the other areas with the 2nd shading color

a big tip i can give for coloring is to look at a color wheel when you draw. i know that sounds like. Such basic advice LMAO but that seriously was a huge help for me when developing my shading and something i learned while studying — if you notice, in all of the shading in my work, all of the colors used are analogous on the color wheel. note that not ALL combinations will work together like others obv !! but it's a huge step in knowing where to go with it

then i add other extra details like extra lighting, halftones (if i feel like it // if it fits the work), glow to his eyes, and color the lines and ta-da!

another tool i use a lot especially with my more recent art are blending modes, especially multiply. i use a clipping layer to add a dark color (usually a dark blue or purple) and set it to multiply, then erase the areas that emit light

and this is the end result! this is a very very basic demonstration of it fhdjg i was a pretty messy with the lighting and erasing in this example but you get the general idea right

and that's how i draw :) i hope this was helpful, and thanks for asking and being so patient with the response!

[etrosgate]

the nonary games port of 999 is worse than you think

it's fine if you play the port, or even prefer it. but i'd like you to know what you're getting into.

9 hours 9 persons 9 doors for the nintendo ds is a masterpiece of a game, with wonderfully snappy dialogue and a quickly paced narrative that avoids many traps of visual novel writing (such as being overly obvious) with a ludonarrative cohesion that makes SO many of its aspects initially perceived as flaws into an active strength of the experience. the endgame twist is very possibly the best in gaming history.

i think i've made it pretty clear that i really fucking love this game, and recommend it to everyone.

so

i used to say "the ds version is better, but it's fine if you play the port for its various quality of life features" but im no longer able to have that stance, now that i know the extent of how it kinda butchers its narrative. it's not super obvious, but that subtlety honestly makes it worse to me.

it's the difference between a good game, and a incredible game.

in the end, this boils down to the "novel mode" versus "adventure mode" gimmick that they decided to build the port on.

if you choose to play in adventure mode, it removes almost all of the narration and rewrites that aforementioned incredible dialogue to awkwardly shove in some (not all) of that information, resulting in overly obvious and clunky writing that seriously drags some scenes out. the descriptive text in general is actually incredibly important in a way i can't describe, and though it will forcibly shift to novel mode to show it to you very occasionally, it's not Nearly enough and you will miss out on some of the most memorable striking moments because of it. i cannot overstate how much the impact of the ending is affected by this.

if you choose novel mode, you do get narration (very important). HOWEVER. the writing is still the adjusted one done to facilitate only playing adv mode, so now the dialogue is overly obvious and clunky and slow AND (despite changing+taking out some of the narration entirely) repetitive (all the things i said 999 very cleverly avoided 🤔?). they've even changed some of the descriptive text for some reason????

small changes in writing can make an impact, especially in tone and pacing. for instance, here's a comparison of an insignificant moment from the beginning of the game.

surely you can feel the difference?

and then, for some ungodly reason, it is actively difficult to play the game in novel mode. the game will Constantly shift you back to adv mode so you have to spend the entire game checking to make sure to switch back (something i found difficult to remember to do even as someone familiar with the game).

so neither way to play the port is good. also they changed the final puzzle to be worse. and a LOT of ludonarrative things i cannot actually get into due to spoilers.

"how much of an impact could these small changes actually have?"

well this is anecdotal, but me (and many other people i know) who originally played 999 on the ds and loved it, years later went on to play the port version and thought "huh. it was still good, but it's like the magic was gone. i guess the game's just not as good as i remembered, one of those things that doesn't hold up to your memories of it."

and then we replayed the ds game. and found out that the game we remembered DOES still exist! it's just as fantastic, the magic IS THERE. the port just made the game worse!!

anyways, so what were those quality of life changes i mentioned earlier?

in the original ds version of 999, every time you reach an ending you have to start from the beginning of the game again, fast forwarding through the text and replaying the puzzles. (the port changed this to having a flowchart where you can just jump to decision points)

HOWEVER

as someone who Very recently replayed the ds version, i truly don't think this is as much of a pain as you might expect.

skipping text isn't a big deal. yeah it takes a bit, but it's easy to watch a youtube video or something while you're waiting the 5 minutes it takes. using an emulator, you can even speed up the text skipping to an even greater degree. if you can't physically hold down the button, you can find something to hold it down for you, and on an emulator you can rebind the key to be something easier to do that with (like the space bar)

redoing puzzles isn't that big a deal either. not only do you still have to redo some puzzle rooms in the port version anyway, it can be pretty fun to figure out how to essentially speedrun rooms you've done before, and you don't redo them that many times (i would recommend a walkthrough anyway for deciding which endings to get, so making that redo time even shorter is a bonus).

and please trust me when i say those hassles don't just exist bc the game is old, there is artistic intent involved in their inclusion that (for me at least) ends up enhancing the game more than they detract from it.

if you really need the accessibility of voice acting, i might genuinely recommend watching an LP of the ds version instead. yes, i really do think some guy from 10 years ago reading out the text will give you a better experience than a genuinely good cast of voice actors reading the port's. bc the writing of the port's dialogue is so fucking bad lol.

btw, if you're scared off at the prospect of reading a little more now without being able to choose adventure mode... if you've played danganronpa (and most of you did!) 999 is shorter, faster-paced, and has LESS READING.

okay im done

i'd recommend THIS WALKTHROUGH, even if you don't want to use it for the puzzles, it'll give you good info for how to get each ending (especially recommended for true ending), and a general order to do them in. i'd recommend doing getting all the endings (except coffin, which is just the true end cut short) EDIT: thank you to tlblitz for recommending this walkthrough, which gives additional hints for the puzzles instead of just telling you solutions outright

if you've already played 999 (or are just curious about specifics), this video details all the changes mentioned here and more, and it gets all the way into spoiler territory. maaaan did it open my eyes to everything i had subconsciously picked up on in playing the port. (i though the first part about the dialogue was being too nitpicky but then i did a side by side comparison of the beginning of the game and op. was not exaggerating. that port dialogue is AGGRAVATING).

EDIT

i forgot to mention. if you emulate the game, there's a visual glitch that messes up the sprites a little, but you can fix it really easily! in DeSmuME, go to Config>3D Settings and set the renderer to OpenGL

also, here's a mod that increases the text speed, if you're emulated on a hacked 3ds.

and i figure i should put my reasons for not just tolerating, but loving the hassles that come from the ds version onto the base post (reposted from another reblog)

major major 999 spoilers below (and some vlr spoilers too)

-----------

to me, one of the coolest aspects of 999 (and zero escape in general) is how much the experience of playing it reflects the narrative

the final twist isn’t just that the text on the bottom screen has been akane, but that you’ve been playing as HER the entire game, not junpei (and with turning the ds upside down for the sudoku, you finally do so for the first time)

in the narrative, you spend basically the entire runtime getting to know her as June, but in the ludonarrative, (the actual Playing the game) you get to know her as Zero. and those annoying bits are a big part of that.

every time akane reaches her death in a timeline, she has to go back to the beginning and start over, because that’s how her powers work. she has to redo all the puzzles, has to wait through all the dialogue until she gets to a point where she can nudge junpei to another route. (in vlr, sigma+phi have a flowchart not just because it’s more convenient, but because that’s how Their powers work).

so subtly, without noticing, you start to reach her point of view. the first time you see the ninth man die it’s shocking and horrific, but even just on your second playthrough the horror doesn’t affect you much. for junpei and everyone else, these sequences are just as terrifying in every route but not for you, cause you’ve seen them before. you can’t be affected by them in the same way, what matters now is finding the futures you haven’t seen yet.

speedrunning puzzles by skipping the clues and zoning out while you wait for the dialogue to finish aren’t just game things, but diagetic events, of akane going through the motions of something she’s done over and over.

when i replayed the ds version recently (something i hadn’t done in a LONG time), i felt so close to akane in a way i never did in the port, because i’d been through the same experience as her. i understood how she could be such a kind and sensitive person who rationalizes away putting all these people she loves through all those the moment to moment horrors in pursuit of a timeline where she and everyone she care about lives, because i’d become detached to them through repetition too.

i completely understand why people wouldn’t enjoy that, but i’m a pretentious gamer who LOVES when mechanics are technically “worse” in a way that is characterful or thematic. so the frustrating bits of 999 add to that experience much more than they detract from it for me haha

[chewchuck]

AND ANOTHER THING! (IM BACK FOR MORE)

I absolutely picked up on a few things that honestly had me just asking more questions about Chilchuck’s pov. On one hand, I usually love seeing each pov within the chapters, but! on the other, it was very what’s the word… fitting? nicely done. how you handle the showing and telling of the story

My internal dialogue was a lot of “Oh surely this man is not entirely oblivious to dog boy over here.” “Oh he has GOT to be thinking thoughts rn.” So eek! Yes I am so excited about the addition lol

Also I have no idea WHAT they’re put in this stuff, but Dungeon Meshi has just… gotten me in a chokehold. The Chilaios Nation, don’t know what y’all are doing, but it also has me in a chokehold. Scarily dragging me in. I am obsessing I am refreshing my tabs I am unwell I am blessed with a feast fit for a king this is affecting my mental health I need sleep. Anyway, love all the chilaios nation folks <3

listen to me. look me in my eyes. i am gripping you by the shoulders. this is everything to me

because so genuinely while writing the first part, i considered every single aspect of what chikchuck thought about what was going on. what was he feeling what was he thinking etc etc and i while i don’t always think that’s necessarily for a limited pov fic, especially not when it comes to one that boils down to self indulgent smut, like i said *i* knew what he was going through and wanted to try to translate that to the audience with out like. making it so obvious that laios should have picked up on it.

and when trying to convey something subtle like that it’s so easy for it to go completely unnoticed. and honestly i do think i would have been just fine with that actually! bc i never intended to make a second part of this from chilchucks pov!

but the way sooo many people have been like “i am picking up on this” just made me so happy!!! like i said a billion times while writing this i made and am still making this for me first and foremost! it’s self indulgent and all about what *i* want to happen and what makes me happy

but that doesn’t change the fact that i am so overwhelmingly happy that so many other people are enjoying it!! im over the moon about that! and thats a HUGE part of why i got inspired to actually write a chilchuck pov!!!

(and not to curse myself but uhm. based on the current word count compared to the equivalent part of the first part it. well it might end up longer. but shh don’t tell anyone)

BUT YEAH WTF DID RYOKO KUI PUT IN THIS FUCKING SHOW AND WHAT IS IT ABOUT CHILAIOS NATION.

i think it’s crack cocaine

i’m would like to reiterate/make it clear that i made this blog LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. that’s how insane this shit had made me. it’s been less than a week and i’ve made a whole side blog, wrote over 11k of fic, made several friends, joined a discord server and am HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. i am having more fun in this fandom than i can remember having in almost 15 years

sorry this reply got REALLY long but. it just feels good. i’m happy. i’m having fun and im glad there are other people along for the ride who are having fun as well :3

[system-of-a-feather]

Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own

Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap

That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.

The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.

And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.

That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.

If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.

There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.

Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.

I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.

But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.

It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.

But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.

So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.

[idyllicsunrise]

I deserve so much better.

I deserve someone who wants others to know I exist. Someone who would shout it from the rooftops and never leave me second guessing.

I’ve almost given up hope. I keep wishing that at the last minute he’ll redeem himself and tell me just how sorry he is and that he misses me.

I’m discontinuing our streak today. Idk how I feel. It’s the last thing that keeps us somewhat in contact and I hate that it really seems like he doesn’t care.

Well, he’s already proven he doesn’t care. The last time we weren’t talking he broke it off after a week. And he told me he didn’t care about what we were arguing about. But sometimes caring means arguing and fighting. If he cared he would argue with me. He would fight with me about my importance to him. Not just turn and push me away.

Today I feel numb. Like i’m not over it. But I’m not sobbing about it either. I keep wondering why it was so easy for him to just disappear. Why he would ever just stop talking to me? Why does he matter so much to me? Why do I matter so little to him? Did I always matter this little to him?

Was I always just the option? Never his choice? If it’s really over, why wouldn’t he just say so?

I think I grew this attachment to him. Like if I didn’t talk to him, and he never talked to me, then that is what determined if I was having a good day or not. I kind of put him on this pedestal. Which was kind of easy because he only showed me all these good parts of him. He listened to me, took time to watch my favorite shows with me, tolerated my drunk texts.. always told me I was pretty. Looked at me like I put the stars in the sky. No matter what I looked like.

To me, he was this man that was gonna take care of me and make sure I felt wanted. That we would healthy and secure and that he would learn to communicate with each other. Which now seems dumb. And hopeless. But mostly dumb.

He genuinely seemed attracted to me at every aspect and I’ve never experienced that before. To be adored almost fully and be confident in myself because I had this man that likes me even if I didn’t at that moment.

It was easy because he was always at arms length and he was completely fine with it… at least I thought he was fine with it. I forgot that sometimes people can lie to you. And some people are really good liars. Especially if you really truly want to believe them.

I thought we were really going somewhere. I thought he really liked me. But I was only there when it was convenient for him. When he felt like paying attention to me.

Im going back to winnipeg in the summer, and I kind of want to return his sweater. Then perhaps never speak to him again.

But of course, I still have all this hope that he’s gonna come back and apologize to me. That he’s gonna fix it. I just don’t see how you could treat anyone that you care about like that. How you could just turn away when things got tough or there were conversations you just didn’t wanna have. I hate that even now I would take him back if he said the right words.

[orchidyoonkook]

Remmy the scream I SCREAMED when I got this. You spoil me SO MUCH.

Okay.. so this is gonna just be all over the place Orchid, i'm sorry.. I have many thoughts.

It's okay, my resonses will most likely match this energy tenfold from excitement.

So the boyfriend is real, and it was really cute, the who airport and everything. then all the cute little dates and the whole little sch they did so far. What worries me is she said he "He felt like home". THAT is a huge deal.

Boyfriend is indeed real! And yes, super cute!!

But wait, why does him smelling like home worry you?? I'm so curious. Why is it huge? My brain is SPINNIN with ideas.

JK was STILL at the party when he got his "friend text" which is fine.. JK IS her friend. So that's something friends do.. she did it with Yuri.

She did. She did send it to Yuri too. But her and JK are still in this weird college behavoural aspect I've seen over the years, where people bond semi-superficially SUPER quick due to the shared experiences everyone goes through when they go to school. So while they're super close and talk every day and hangout and do movie nights. She doesn't know his favourite colour. Which is something so basic.

So this friend text, in my eyes, was a pretty decent step in the direction they both want the friendship to go. They both want something a little more than superficial college friends. Which I found super sweet.

But of course with all the shit going on in Jk's head and around him plus the socials pressures and his upbringing to read into everything, his head is going to be a bit of a mess on how to decipher everything.

He's so incredibly socialized due to being a prince, but other than the professional aspect of it, all of his friends prior to Reader he's known almost since birth. So this is his first time navigating a friendship outside of that kind of scenario.

What's weird is.. when her boyfriend Specifically asked "so what's he like? "did you meet him"?

I meaannnn....

she could have EASILY said, yeah, he's actually a nice guy. He noticed when I shook his hand, I was treating him like a human. I see him at school and say hi. She didn't, KNOWING he would be what JK saw at the Cafe.

Ok so I may be misreading this, but Reader didn't know JK would be at the cafe when she went with Nel. If it were up to her, they would never meet. And had she known, she probably would've switched out greenhouse cafe for the library.

it's one thing to be raise to be protective, but 5 years dude.. Who are you protecting her from?! You can see the little red flags all over.. they're not big and you can totally play them off as Oh, he's just that way. when you step back though, JK has points and she KNOWS.. to the point where she's thinking about when they have sex?! You should ONLY be thinking about your partner. Actively engaging in what's going on.

I don't disagree with any of this.

I wanted her to have that internal struggle of "what the fuck why am i thinking about him while im at my most vulnerable and intimate with the person I love" to show just how in her head JK's text got her. How he was the first person to actually question her relationship with Nel. And now that the seed is planted it may be harder to uproot than she initally thought.

Also I have heard that some people regardless can only get off by themselves. So, that didn't bother me. I think the seed has been planted, and she's going to realize what's happening.

AHA YOU USED THE SEED PLANTING METAPHOR TOO!! sorry anywhoo:

I don't disagree with any of this either. However I will say that Reader hasn't been able to for a currently unknown to her reason. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Okay Adeline is so faking it!! I'm 100000% with JK I'd shut her up too, was what he did childish, yeah. but it made a point and apparently JK has seen this a lot, it's sad that he knows the tells, and really childish as it is, that's his only friend really. She talked about him all the time, I'd wanna square him up too.

She really is. She thinks it's what he wants tho, so she delivers. And apparently can't take a hint.

and it is sad :(

did he go about the wrong way, yeah.. but it's not like he can just go up to him and check him out.

Oh absolutely he 100% went about it the wrong way. But making mistakes or not making the best choices is all part of being human.

they need to have a talk, like grown ups when Cornelius leaves.

Who knows. Maybe they will. ;)

Great job Orchid!!

THANK YOU REMMY <<<<333333♥♥♥♥♥♥🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

As always, you spoil me, i fully acknowledge i and I hope you know just jow greatful I am for every single word. This one's going into the new chapter 6 feedback folder!

Thank you thank you thank you <3

(JOONIE HEARTS!!!!)

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 6 | M

Title: Eastern Arrivals and Unwanted Doubt

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: Nel's here for the week and you couldn't be more excited!! Jungkook's another story though...

Warnings: M, fluff, smut, swearing, drinking, pining, angsstt, slight boundary pushing (not sexual), unwanted/ unneeded overprotectiveness, jealousy, lying, [reader eats bacon and eggs but it's not specified what kind or where it's from, just bacon and eggs, so whether that means veggie, vegan or normal is up to you], intentional pissing off of Nel, a little spat between major characters, sex as a plot device.

Mature warnings under the cut.

Word Count: 6,945

Release Date: April, 20, 2:00PM

A/N 1: 6 months later and we have chapter 6! slow updates, but they will be written and they will be posted. I have no plans to abandon this, I just, very unfortunately, have a bit of an outernet life now. So not a lot of free time to be creative which I hate. But it's here!!

Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

Mature Warnings: Consensual sex x 2, both reader with Nel and JK with Ady -> sorry not sorry cuz it's plot sex. We got us some: kissing, protected sex (as we should), missionary, fingering, oral (f. rec), tiny bit of groping (consenual), multiple orgasms, loud sex, like annoyingly, sex as a terrible coping mechanism (imo), fantasizing.

Bouncing lightly from foot to foot, you’re buzzing after finally receiving the text you were waiting on a few minutes ago.

Nelly <3 [10:10pm]: Landed. See you soon 😘

He’s almost here. He’s almost here!

Just a few more seconds until—

The gates slide open. A flood of people in a mixture of sweats and business casual wear with luggage of all sizes and neck pillows walk through. You hold up the sign above your head with both hands, a smile that could outshine the sun plastered on your face, and search.

Where is he? Where is he, where is he, where is he, you think as you scour the bodies filing out of the automatic doors. You can’t see him. He’s none of the nameless faces that pass you by as they find their family, friends or rides. 

Is this even the right group of people? What if his luggage got lost and he won’t be out with this group. What if he got taken aside for some reason, and now he’s being held in some dusty room being asked a bunch of stupid questions he doesn’t know how to answer? What if he’s fig—

But then there’s a gap in the crowd, and the boy you’ve spent the last half decade of your life with comes into perfect, crystalline view. His lips pulled taught, teeth beautifully bared as he sets his sights on your sign high in the air, then down to you.

And you're running. 

You’re running and dodging and swerving until you’re jumping into Nels arms as he abandons his suitcase in favour of keeping you both up right. He buries his face into your neck, holding you so tightly you think he’ll never let go. And that’s just fine with you as you hold on just as tight, taking in a big breath of him too. 

He smells like airplane and coastal breeze and most importantly, home. 

Nel smells like home.

A muffled, “Ohhhhhhh, I missed you,” greets your ears, and you melt into him even more if that's even possible.

“I missed you too,” you say, pulling back and kissing him. You don’t really care if there’s an audience or not right now. Not when Nel’s here, and he’s in your arms, and he’s yours for a whole 9 days and life is as it should be once again.

He releases his hold slightly, but your arms don’t leave his shoulders. The sign still clutched, now crushed and crinkled, in one hand. 

“Car?” he asks, a kiss to your nose.

“This way,” you lead, releasing your hold.

Luckily, his suitcase is small, so he forgoes rolling it, instead gripping the handle at the top and carrying it in one hand. Your own reaching for his other and not letting go. He’s going to have to peel you off him if he wants space right now. 

Nel’s wearing his usual fall attire; a dark green school sweater that has ‘ECAD’ written over the chest in a large, academic looking mustard yellow font, regular old blue jeans, and dark brown lace up boots. His short, dirty blond hair's covered by a hat you’d gotten him as a highschool graduation present, and his ocean blue eyes remain as gorgeous as they were the day you met. 

Passing through doors to the outside and back to lot J, you hop in the car as he puts his bag in the trunk.

“How have you been? What’s new? What’s not? Tell me everything,” he asks as he climbs in and sits beside you, hand finding yours again. 

Never gone for too long. You relish in the comfort and happiness that alone brings you. 

He’s finally here. You finally have him back.

“I’m great. Yuri’s still Yuri, classes are only a little more challenging this year, but I’m still at the top of them,” Nel slips in a ‘not surprised’ and you smile brighter as you continue. “They’re already telling us to start brainstorming ideas for our thesis show next year,” you have no idea what you’re going to do, but you’re working on it. “Campus is the same, dorms are the same, the cafe’s the same. Though, they have the egg tarts I like in more, which is awesome for my taste buds and terrible for my bank account.” 

Vivian stayed true to her word, and now they had the tarts in every week. 

“I can only imagine,” Nel jokes.

“Uhhmm, what else…” a thought pops up, and you guess you can tell him. It doesn’t reveal anything the whole world doesn’t already know. “The prince is dating Adaline Dupree.”

His eyebrows raise, remembering, “Oh yeah, that’s right, the prince goes to your school now.”

“Yep.”

“Have you met him?”

Is he seriously not completely shocked at the prince dating Adaline? You only bitched about her to him all the time.

“Uhhh… yep, once or twice, I guess.” 

You hate it. You hate lying, especially to Nel. You hate it so much, but it’s for the greater good. It’s to keep the peace. But that doesn’t stop the burning feeling in your chest nor the roil in your belly.

“The day he arrived Yuri dragged me down to see him speak. She made us sit front row because Yuri,” Nel nods, knowing exactly what you mean. “He had everyone assemble to hear why he was at school and tell us not to treat him like a prince. He wants to be able to study without his title getting in the way.”

You hit your blinker, making a one handed left turn. 

“Makes sense. Is he nice at least?” Nel doesn’t sound at all suspicious, and why should he? You’ve never given him reason to not believe you at your word before. Never lied to him before.

Fuck you hate this so much. It was so much easier when he was 5000 miles away. But now that he's right beside you? This week may end up being more difficult than you thought.

“He was very princely. Tried to kiss my hand like he did like every other girl there, but I made it a handshake instead. Figured if he wants to be treated like everyone else, I would liste—Oh!” you laugh before you can even get the words out.

“What?” he asks, intrigued but confused.

You can barely speak coherently. “You should have seen Yuri’s face when I called him Jungkook and not Prince or Your Highness...her eyes nearly fell out of her head,” tears are starting to form from laughing so hard. “It was great.”

“He didn’t mind?” Nel asks and you shake your head. Yuri’s face that day will forever be seared into your brain for whenever you need a pick-me-up. 

“No, he was grateful actually. I was the first person that had addressed him like that, the way he’d asked to be.” Stopping at a red light, you're finally regaining yourself.

“Well,” he squeezes your hand, “you always were good at first impressions,” and looks at you so softly you can’t help but smile into the kiss you give him. 

He remembers that school art fair just as fondly as you do. 

Nel pulls away first with a thought. “Is Yuri with us this time?” 

Yuri hadn’t been able to go home last year, her parents too busy on a work trip, so she stayed back and kicked it with you two, but also gave you your space when needed.

Lots and lots of space.

“Nope! Parents welcomed her with open arms this afternoon, I’m sure. They’re all on some tropical island down south. She’s bringing me an ocean bottle though, so I’m excited for that. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to add a new one.”

Everytime you travelled somewhere with a beach you got a glass bottle and filled it with half sand, half water, added in some shells or rocks and labelled it. Instead of towels, keychains, or magnets, you did ocean bottles. They lined a shelf in your room back home. 

You probably have at least fifteen of them by now. Your mum likes to travel and make sure you experience the world around you, not just your little corner of it.

“Oh that’s great babe! I know how much you love those.”

“Yeah, it is.” You lean your head on his shoulder, basking in his presence for as long as the light remains red. 

He’s here. He’s yours. 

You only have to do this for a couple more years and then you’ll be together all the time. God you can’t wait. But you are nothing if not disciplined. 

And it’s going to be so worth it in the end.

The rest of the ride to your dorm goes by quickly. 

Some more red lights, some more kisses. You point out the same things you always do on the way back, and Nel acts like it’s the first time he’s seen them, just like he always does.

His hand never leaves yours over the center console. 

Soon enough, you find yourselves flopping down on your bed. Bags, jackets and shoes, scattered. Nel pulls you into him, his head on your pillow, yours lying on his chest. True peace settling in for the first time in months.

“I can't wait until we’re done school and I have more than four and a half months with you a year,” he sighs.  “It’s not enough. I want more. Need more.”

“Me too. But good things come to those who wait.”

“Yeah…I’m just really sick of waiting.” 

“Me too,” you repeat in a yawn. 

Nel’s breathing slowly evens out as you lie there, content to be in your arms again. And you look up to see his eyes closed, warm exhales brushing over your face from his nose. 

You can’t blame him for being so tired. He’d had an early morning exam before flying out, even brought his suitcase to it so he could leave the second he was done. Then, the flight alone was ten hours, plus travel times to and from the airports was about an hour each way, and the wait time before boarding was another two. 

Shit, he’s probably been awake for around eighteen hours straight at this point because he’s also the type that can’t sleep on planes no matter what he tries. 

Oh, Nel...Of course he’s exhausted.

Giving him a squeeze before getting up, you take off his socks and jeans carefully, then tuck him into bed as much as you can. You’d try the sweater, but it involved too many working parts and you didn’t want to wake him, so you figure it’s best to have the window open tonight instead. 

Grabbing your phone, you tiptoe to the bathroom and do your night time routine. It’s not an overly complicated one, just brushing your teeth, washing your face and a simple 3 step skincare routine of cleanser, toner and moisturizer. Short and sweet, but it does the job. 

Halfway through brushing, you do your friend due diligence and send Yuri a ‘back safe’ text, just like she’d sent you her own ‘here safe’ when she’d landed.

You spit and rinse, moving onto washing your face and applying cleanser.

Teeth clean and face moisturized, you sneak into your room again. Nel's still out cold. 

You sneak out of habit—your mom wakes at the sound of a pin dropping. But absolutely nothing could wake Nel now outside of his mother’s voice and his morning alarm. It’s a talent of his you’ve always been jealous of.  

Removing today's clothes and tossing them in your overflowing hamper—reminder to self: do laundry—you slide on your pjs and climb into bed beside him, plugging in your phone and setting it down. 

A thought pops into your head and you pick it back up, shooting a quick text before you can think twice. 

You [11:26pm]: home safe

It pings not seconds later.

PJK [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso  PJK [11:27pm]: glad ur home safe

Your heart beats a little louder at the nickname, and you chalk it up to the excitement still in you at having Nel here and being tired. 

But you sleep better that night than you have in a long time. 

A short, repetitive, rhythmic vibration. 

Picasso [11:26pm]: home safe

Jungkook is still standing in the same corner by the wall, Adaline somewhere in the crowd in front of him dancing with her friends. She asked him to join her, but he declined. He doesn’t need to see himself more than half drunk and dancing on the cover of tomorrow’s news cycles. Not to mention his security team would shut the party down the second a camera flashed.

His guards are carefully stationed throughout the house, all dressed down in casual wear, a few with empty cups in their hands. One is watching some sort of beer pong like game in the corner, another is mingling with some guys over in the kitchen. Three he can’t immediately see. And he knows his head guard is outside in a black car ready to get him out at a moment's notice.

Nobody can tell they aren’t here for the party, not unless they’re sober enough to notice watchful eyes continually making their way over the crowd as the night goes on. 

Your text woke him from the stillness he’s adapted from standing so long, trying hard not to draw attention to himself. 

You were home safe. Home safe from the airport. Home safe from picking up Cornelius. 

Your boyfriend. 

Cornelius, your boyfriend. 

He doesn’t acknowledge his teeth grinding.

You were home from picking up your beau but even then, you’d texted him to let him know you were back on campus safely. To let him know you were okay. 

It’s the first thing that makes him smile all night.

So he sends back, a bit to quickly: 

Me [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso Me [11:26pm]: glad ur home safe

Because it means something to him that you deem him close enough to send a ‘home safe’ text too. 

That you want him to know you’re back.  

Want him to know you’re safe.

Whether you know it or not, your safety means a lot to Jungkook, so that little two word text makes his heart lurch. 

He needs to leave. 

He needs to get out of this fucking house and back to his dorm. He came, he drank, he observed, he fulfilled his boyfriend duty.

That’s enough for him. 

He shoots Adaline a text that says he isn’t feeling well and gets out as fast as he possibly can, dodging bodies left and right and doing his best to hide his face. 

Once he’s out, security team in tow, the cooling midnight air does him some good. 

“Someone make sure she gets back to her dorm safe,” he says in their general direction, brain too muddled to be polite in this exact moment, but it’s nothing they haven’t seen before. 

This is going to be such a long week.

He can’t wait till it’s over. Till he doesn’t have to share anymore. 

He was never very good at it anyway. 

The smell of bacon wakes you. 

And toast, and…

Eggs? 

You think, at least. Since when do you have bacon? Or eggs? Toast is a given, it’s part of your life’s blood.

Opening your eyes, you blindly reach for your phone, successfully unplugging it and bringing it to your face.

The screen is too bright but you suffer through it, squinting.

9:27am. 

9:27? 

You slept for ten hours!?

You can’t remember the last time you slept more than 6 consecutively, aside from recovery nights, and even then it was fitful.

Nel comes in with two plates, his full with a very Eastern breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Yours with two pieces of toast, lots of bacon, a bit of eggs and some fruit. Where did he—?

He smiles at your confusion, “You have a cafeteria that sells breakfast food, you know.”

You know that.

“I know that.”

“Do you? Because the look on your face says otherwise.”

You flop back down and pull the pillow over your head, mumbling incoherent nonsense. You rarely used the dorm cafeteria for breakfast. Much preferring the greenhouse cafe or simple toast and juice that you can make in your dorm.

He chuckles. “Two breakfasts for me then, okay, if you insist,” Nel moves to leave but you screech, uncovering your face.

“Noo! I want it. Please, sweet nutrition,” he hands the plate over when you sit up, arms out stretched, and you dig in. 

After a piece of bacon, you ask, “How long have you been up?”

Nel’s sitting with his legs crossed at the end of your bed, munching away, “Long enough to get changed, grab my wallet, get food and come back.”

The bacon is really good. You’ve never been so glad he knew you so well as you grab another piece from the dwindling pile.

“You slept well then, too? That’s good, I’m glad. You needed the rest.”

“Having you around always makes it easier to fall asleep,” he nudges your knee with his elbow.

Even after five years he can still make you blush.

“I know the feeling.”

You two fall into step, starting your weeks in advance prepared plans, the rest of your day passing quickly. 

Too quickly. 

And so does the next day, and the next, and the next. 

All of your activities are going great. The zoo, picnics, study dates, restaurant dates, historical, artistic and architectural museum tours. Even a swim at the school’s indoor pool, and there’s plenty more to come. 

Things slip back into being easy, just as they always have been with Nel, ever since that first day back in tenth grade. 

He knows you like the back of his hand and predicts your moves before you make them, just like you do for him. 

You know his favourite foods, and where he prefers to park when driving—always avoiding open curbs—you know his dream travel destinations, and who his favourite musicians are. You know his favourite pencils to design with and his favourite pencils to shade with, that he always put on his right sock first, then right shoe, then left sock and left shoe. You know that his drink order is an iced coffee with two cream and two sugar, that he prefers loose shirts over fitted ones, and that his favourite colour is orange.

It’s a pretty orange too, not just any orange. You wonder if it’s anything like Jungkook's–

Wait. 

You search your memory for the information, going through favourite foods, drinks, music—all discussed previously, because you know their answers. But colour?

Nothing.

How have you never asked what Jungkook’s favourite colour is?

Isn’t that usually one of the first things people ask when they’re trying to get to know one another? Funny. Guess you’ll have to inquire the next time you see him. 

Anyways, just like you know everything there is to know about Nel, he knows everything about you too, including your routines. 

Which is why at twelve noon every day, he starts getting ready to go to the greenhouse for your afternoon study session.

Including today.  

Your week’s already half over and you hate it. Time always moves far to fast when all you want it to do is slow the fuck down. 

You only have five days left. Five days.

You’re lucky the greenhouse cafe is open during break, some places on campus are required to stay open for the students who can’t make it home, but greenhouse chooses to. 

As you and Nel turn the corner you see a familiar figure sitting in his old spot at the back of the patio. The same hat, mask and hoodie, now paired with a leather jacket on top due to the weather starting to cool down.

You can tell Jungkook wasn’t expecting to see you by the way he stiffens before those all too familiar brown eyes of his meet your own. Which is fair, your schedule shifts a bit when you’re on break, he isn’t used to you being here at twelve on Wednesdays. 

But as quickly as he sees you, his gaze is back on his laptop, like he never saw you in the first place. 

Like you asked him to do. 

And a sharp pain stings inside your chest.

When you and Nel get to your table, he sits in the seat opposite to where you always do, leaving where Jungkook usually sits beside you, empty. 

A part of you is grateful for that, though you can’t figure out why and table that self discussion for a later date. 

Setting down your things, you ask Nel if he wants coffee. He answers yes, like always, and after a quick visit with Viv, you're pulling out your chair and setting down your cups. Your back faces Jungkook. It’s a small mercy you can’t see him. Maybe you can forget he’s here and actually focus on your work. 

But it’s also exactly because of your position, that you can’t see as Jungkook subtly watches you over the rim of his laptop while you and Nel talk quietly and study. 

Nel can though. 

It feels weird to ignore him. To pretend you don’t know one another when for the better part of the last seven weeks all you’ve done is talk, hang out, study or a mixture of the three, every day. 

When having him sit behind you and not beside you feels so wrong and so foreign. 

But this is your own doing, you caused this. So you need to suck it up and get used to it. 

This is exactly what you asked for all those weeks ago. The perfect solution to your problem. 

No one can know. 

Not Nel. 

Not anyone. 

But fuck, if it didn’t absolutely suck in practice. 

Setting some of your books out around you and on the table Jungkook usually uses, you dig into your business homework. Having a major and a minor are great for job prospects, on paper, and in practice after you’ve completed them.

But getting them? It takes years of hard work and dedication with no distractions. 

None.  

You spend almost every free moment you have doing homework or practicing, trying to get ahead, trying to stay on top.

…Trying to beat Adaline. 

But you just use that as fuel for your drive to be better. To be the best. 

Competition is healthy. Especially when you’re winning against the rich brat who’s used to getting what she wants. 

Not that you're petty.

Ehh…You are. But only a little bit. At least you can admit it.

Nel gets to work as well, the sunlight from his spot is great for drawing. He’s working on a rough version of his thesis project that’s due at the end of the year. He has to have multiple completed renderings as well as a scale model, and he’s been brainstorming since last year about what he wants to do.

Currently, he’s drawing up an airport, trying to design so that it’s not confusing and complicated for first time users. 

However, his occasional swearing and muttering to himself makes you think he’s having a tough time with it. 

You try not to laugh, but a small giggle slips out. 

“What,” Nel asks, a little distracted.

“Nothing.”

“No really, what’s up? I could use a laugh right now,” he insists, eyes on you at first. But then something behind you steals their attention every few seconds. 

Someone. 

“You just…you still make funny sounds when you're frustrated with a drawing. It’s endearing.” You reach to place your hand on his knee, trying to gain back his full attention. 

Ignore him, Nel. Please ignore him. 

“Yeah...” he exhales. “I guess airports are out,” his hand covers yours quickly and you hear a faint chair screech from behind you. Nel doesn’t miss it as he says. “But I do have a much bigger appreciation and understanding for all those who came before me,” pupils now unmoving from their target behind you. 

Fine. 

You’ll acknowledge it. 

“Is everything okay? You keep looking at something? Is there an animal or…��� You know what he’s looking at, but go so far as to turn anyway, playing up the ‘confused girlfriend’ role. But Nel squeezes your hand, stopping you. 

He leans in, placing a fake mask of serene on and lowers his voice. “That guy keeps looking at us, moreso you. And he looks pissed off.”

Fuck, think of something.

Anything. Anythi—Oh!

You lean in too, so close your noses almost touch. “He’s probably just upset we’re talking. The greenhouse cafe is usually a quiet place to work,” good enough, you think. That’s believable, right?. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just ignore him and get back to work.”

You place a quick kiss on his lips but Nel isn’t letting up on his unnecessary vigilance. But then again, he doesn’t know that Jungkook is the opposite of a threat to you. So you reassure him, in your own way.  

“Babe, seriously. If you’re going to be all protective or whatever, don’t. I come here everyday when you're not here and I’m still alive and unharmed. Go get a sandwich or a refill to get your head off of it and say hi to Viv. She’s still here, and I’m betting she remembers you. You’re kinda hard to forget.” 

You can tell Nel’s about to reject the idea when you insist. “I’ll be fine, Nel. Promise. Three years and not a scratch on me.” 

He sighs through his nose, but relents. 

Placing his drawing pad on the table, he gets up, but not before placing another kiss to your forehead and mumbling, “Scream ‘cumquat’ if you’re in danger and I’ll come running, okay?” 

You laugh outright at that. “Will do.”

You watch him as he goes, and the second he’s inside, you’re racing for your phone, typing at an astounding speed.

You [1:45pm]: Didn’t your royal upbringing teach you not to stare so blatantly!??? Nel caught you

You hear a quiet ping from behind you followed by a small exhale that sounds more like a disguised chuckle. 

PJK [1:45pm]: Yes.  

You [1:45pm]: So you intentionally got caught?

PJK [1:45pm]: Maybe

You [1:45pm]: Shithead

PJK [1:46pm]: Rude

You [1:46pm]: You deserve it

PJK [1:46pm]: I know. I’m just making sure he’s treating you right.  PJK [1:47pm]: and trying to see if he acts differently when he knows he’s being watched. He’s very protective you know 

Jungkook saw the second Nel noticed he was watching you. 

His posture changed from easy going to on alert. His hand went so quickly to yours on his knee and his public displays of affection increased significantly. 

It was pathetic, really. It went above a normal amount of protection. Nel was claiming his ‘property’, making sure Jungkook knew not to touch. 

And the nasty look Nel gave him as he entered the cafe—gratefully still unrecognizable in his disguise—was another silent way to say back off, stay away, and don’t try anything or you’ll regret it. 

It was a red flag in Jungkook's mind. A small one, but it’s still there because his efforts are completely unneeded. After five years together, Nel should know that you can handle yourself. 

Hell, Jungkook knows that and it’s only been two months. 

You [1:47pm]: yes I know he is, and I already told you he treats me well because he always. Does. Not just in public or under watchful eyes  You [1:48pm]: and since when does my boyfriend of half a decade need your ~princely~ seal approval?

He ignores the small jab. You only ever brought up his title when you were mocking or upset with him. And he knows that in this case it's the latter.

PJK [1:48pm]: Since now PJK [1:49pm]: And it’s not that I don’t trust you at your word, but I usually like to decide for myself

That has you reeling. 

Where does he get the audacity to think he has any say in or about your relationship? Your very solidly built, five years strong, healthy, happy relationship?

Because he’s the Prince? You’re pretty sure you established on day one that you didn’t and still don’t give a fuck about his birthright. 

If he thinks he gets an opinion on any of this he’s got another thing coming the second he asks you anything about Adaline again. 

You’re in the middle of typing out a paragraph explaining all of this when another text comes in.  

PJK [1:49pm]: Because I’ve seen far too many women in love who are blind to certain things PJK [1:50pm]: And far too many hurt in the end because of it. 

You pause. Fingers frozen mid swipe.

Blind to what?

How many women did he know that were in love but missing something about their partner? Surely there couldn't be that many. Right? 

But this was Jungkook you were talking to, he’s lived numerous lifetimes already. That fancy birthright of his you don’t care about having given him far too many life experiences to have at his age. And they’re only going to increase from here.

So instead of hitting send and cursing him out quite spectacularly, you stop and think for a moment. 

What did he see that they didn’t? 

That you might… not?

You’re a decent judge of character if your record tracks. And it does. 

So your curiosity gets the better of you as you delete your rage paragraph and settle for a simple two word question instead. 

You [1:50pm]: Like what?

You can see that he’s typing out a response but the bell on the cafe door rings and you put your phone down. It buzzes with his response a few seconds after. 

You’ll check it later.

Nel takes his seat again, and you notice he has his sandwich, but also that he’s moved his chair and starts sketching from the new position giving him a direct eye line with Jungkook. 

You internally scoff at that. 

Nel has always been protective. But he was raised that way and you don’t mind too much. You don’t expect him to change his core values for you, just like he never expects you to change yours for him, even when a couple of his are just the slightest bit overbearing. 

But that’s part of a relationship. Give and take and compromise. No one person is going to be perfect for another. It’s healthy to have differences. 

That being said, Nel doesn’t change positions for the rest of the hour. Even as Jungkook packs up and leaves, Nel eyeballs him until he’s out of sight. 

That night while Nel is brushing his teeth and you're lying in bed, you check the text from Jungkook. 

PJK [1:51pm]: Like if they’re getting treated the way they should be or if they’re settling for the best they think they can get or for the first guy that showed interest. The one who hasn’t grown up even though time has passed. The one who’s holding her back by not setting her free

You stare at your phone. At the text. At his words. 

And dismiss it. 

You aren’t one of those women. 

You know yourself. 

You know what you deserve and how you should be treated. You didn’t settle, you just happened to find your love at a young age. That’s something special and rare and should be protected. And Nel has most certainly grown up as time passed. 

Jungkook is being ridiculous for absolutely no reason. Surely he’ll have seen that today. Seen how Nel loves you, treats you how you deserve to be treated, holds you up. Supports you. 

You’re confident he’ll be eating his words soon enough.

Finished brushing, Nel comes back to the bedroom and snuggles up behind you and you put down your phone. 

He cuddles you for a minute before placing a kiss at your neck. Then another. And another before he’s mouthing up your neck, and sliding a hand up your thigh and to your waist. It pauses on your stomach with teasing caresses, before dipping lower and lower, beneath the fabric of your sleep shorts, and under the elastic of your underwear. 

A small moan sounds in your throat at the touch. His fingers meeting your folds and the sensitive bundle of nerves at their apex.

You wanted this. 

Need it. 

He’s grown, you think; as a finger slips in you and you gasp at the stretch, legs opening wider for him. A second finger plunges in and you can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with every thrust. Just like you can feel a bulge forming behind you. 

You know what you deserve; as he uses them to scissor you open, making sure you’re ready. You roll over, now on your back with Nel over you as he pulls your shorts and underwear down to get better access, your own hands removing your shirt.

You’re not settling; as Nel moves down, tongue making a couple swipes at your entrance and you hiss in pleasure before he’s reaching over, grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer and sliding it on, length hard and dripping at the sight of you bared before him. 

Nel wasn’t the first guy who’d shown interest, just the first you’d said yes to; and he slides in. Both of you moaning at the snug fit.

“Fuck...” he says and you nod, agreeing, before pulling him down into a deep kiss.

He eases into a slow, steady rhythm that has you breathy and his abs tensing. 

But it’s not enough. You need more. You need to erase these past two months without him, and take enough to last for the next two. It’s never enough, but you try. 

“Faster baby,” you beg, “Please…faster.”

Nel isn’t holding you back. Jungkook doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. 

Nel picks up the pace and you start moaning, louder like you know he likes. Likes to hear he’s doing a good job. He’s grabbing your breast and sucking in a nipple, tongue swirling and you're bringing your hips to meet his with every thrust. 

It feels good. It always feels good with Nel. 

He was your first everything. First kiss, first intimate touch, first love. 

Only love.

And he makes you feel good with that love. That touch. His kiss.

He makes you feel safe, inside and out. 

Jungkook can go eat grass. He doesn’t know your relationship. Doesn’t know the first thing about it. 

“There, right there!” you whine as Nel hits your sweet spot once and you arch. He tries again but misses, continuing faster, his peak coming quickly. 

Jungkook can never understand what you two have. What you two have built in these five years. The understanding and security that comes with it. 

He’s being an unrightfully opinionated ass on something he knows nothing about and— 

Fuck! Why are you thinking about Jungkook? You’re having sex with Nel. You shouldn’t be thinking about anything or anyone other than that. 

Than him. 

So why can’t you get what Jungkook said out of your fucking head?

“Ahhh… oh fuck. I’m cumming.” Nel’s hips stutter, his face contorting in pleasure as he releases, filling the condom.

You kiss him passionately to rid yourself of your princely plagued thoughts, the ones filling you with unwanted and unnecessary doubt. You want them gone, gone, gone. Nothing but Nel in their place. 

And you slip an, “I love you,” in between kisses for good measure. 

Jungkook could never understand. 

Nel kisses you back just as hard, dramatically slowing his thrusts, drawing out his high for as long as possible. 

“I love you too.”

Jungkook doesn’t know anything. 

Nel groans into your lips when it becomes too much and pulls out. 

Removing and tying off the condom, Nel goes to the washroom to throw it out and starts the shower he knows you’ll be joining him for when you're done. 

A routine you’re all too familiar with. 

One you created. 

He knows you need a few minutes to get yourself off. 

You’ve never been able to cum from sex with a partner. No matter how hard you tried. No matter what you did. 

Most would think Nel wasn’t a good lover or wasn’t trying enough, but it was through years of constantly trying anything and everything that you learned you just…couldn’t. 

No amount of fingering or oral or penetration from your partner could make you orgasm. 

So Nel knows to wait for you in the shower as you finish yourself off, your own fingers making quick work of it, because you always could for some reason. 

It isn’t your ideal situation, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. But it works. You both get the intimacy you crave and you accepted a long time ago that you were just one of the unlucky few. 

Screams fill Jungkook’s ears as a hand finds his hair and nails rake against his scalp. 

Adaline isn’t a quiet receiver. 

“Ohmygod!” She shouts for the twentieth time. “Yes! There…so goo-oohhhh,” the last syllable turning into a loud moan. 

He’s holding her downwith a forearm by her pelvis, mouth full as he brings out her third orgasm of the night, juices flooding his tongue. 

He’s working out earlier frustrations and proving a point to himself in this fucked up version of self therapy. 

He shouldn’t be. 

But he does.

Has to.

Seeing you today with Cornelius spurred feelings within him that he didn’t know he had. Sure, there were bits and pieces of something stirring he refused to name, but today? 

They were in a whole different ballpark. Different than anything else he’s ever felt before, brewing inside him, bubbling up to the surface even though he’s been trying his best to pop them and shove them down.

Anger? 

Feelings he doesn’t want to have. 

Jealousy? 

Does have. 

Wanting you to look at him the way you look at Nel?

Can’t have. 

Not for… 

He admits he provoked Nel because he could. Dick move, but it was because Jungkook knew just by looking at him that giving you any form of attention would piss him off.  He seemed the type. 

Overly possessive, overprotective. 

Overbearingly so. 

Suffocatingly so. 

Because Nel knows how lucky he is. That you chose him. That you still choose him. 

He knows he has to keep others away. 

Knows he isn’t good enough for you, holds you back. But keeps you anyway.

The selfish prick. 

So Jungkook eyed you up and down, leisurely, and for as long as he wanted. Purely out of the need to prove to himself he was right about his little assessment of your boyfriend. At least that’s what he told himself. 

Was it childish and unnecessary? 

Yes. 

But he was right. And that felt good. 

He could see in your posture and your hushed words you didn’t want Nel’s protection, didn’t need it, and that Nel ignored that wish of yours. Did what he wanted to instead of respecting your ability to make decisions for yourself. Bulldozed your opinions. 

It pissed Jungkook off. 

He’d left a little while after sending you that text to read, but you never did. At least not since the last time he checked. And so he’d made plans with Adaline the second he was out of your earshot. Calling her up and setting a time for what’s currently taking up his primary focus. 

Because even though it was Adaline underneath him, for the very first time, that’s not who he imagined it was. 

Not who he just dragged a fourth orgasm out of with his fingers because he could. 

Because he would. He would be so much better. Give so much more. If only… 

Fuck.

Jungkook stands and drags his cock over Adaline’s entrance, whacking it against her clit a couple times before running the tip through her folds and pushing in. He hisses at the feeling. At who he was sinking into in his head, splayed out in front of him. Skin glistening with sweat mixed with arousal. Mouth open, slack jawed in pleasure. 

Adaline moans loudly and it dissolves his visual. 

His tattooed hand moves to hold her hands above her head, the other silences her mouth. 

“Quiet now,” he whispers, low and deep. A bead of sweat dripping off his brow, hair sticking to his neck and temple.

He intends it to be sexy for her, but in reality, he’s just sick of hearing her. It’s ruining his mental image. Not that she’ll ever know that though. 

To Adaline, this session is all about her and making her feel good. 

But constant screams and loud, pornographic moans aren’t appealing to him in the slightest. They're taking him out of the mood. Making him soft. 

Once or twice when it’s genuine? Sure. But the constant assault she loves to give his eardrums? Not even a little bit.

He sets a fast, rough pace, and Adaline’s eyes roll back in pleasure, screams finally subsiding in white hot bliss, replaced by bitten lips and smothered whimpers.

He is going to prove this point to himself over and over again. All night if he has to. 

And he has to.  

To get whatever it is he’s feeling for you out of his system.

To keep his sanity. 

To forget. 

And while it’s Adaline’s name is on his lips when he cums. 

It’s not the name he repeats in his head like a prayer. 

Chapter Seven: TBA

A/N 2: Thanks for waiting for this chapter. I'll try my best to have 7 out as soon as I can get it. I promise.

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

[gnrbitch]

For the night

SlashxFamous!Y/n

Warnings: Smut!🙊

Redemption: Your band name!

Y/N JONES MOODBOARD!

———

1989

Gnr and Redemption had been smushed together on a tour as the opening act for The Rolling Stones, and they were all having a blast. I mean how couldn’t they? With 5 girls and 5 guys they were all entangled with one another.

Well… except for Y/n and Slash. The front woman had fiery confidence that made everyone burn as she walked. And to Slash’s luck, all the boys had claimed the other girls before he could.

Don’t get him wrong, Y/n was the hottest member in Redemption. Sure all the other girls were very good looking. But everyone knew there was something about Y/n. Untouchable. Hypnotic. That’s what she was. In every aspect, her looks, confidence, songwriting, and voice.

But the thing was, Y/n was literally, untouchable. No matter how smooth Slash was with her, she never cared! And did that upset the curly haired guitarist.

It was like he was a game to her, he would get so close, yet he was so fucken far.

But he didn’t let himself get too hung up on her, he had the groupies!

Slash had been over this little game Y/n was playing with him, so he’s been with the groupies and paying her no mind.

And Y/n could laugh at the poor man, his poor attempt of trying to pay her no mind was not working. She could feel his eyes burning into her body as she was onstage. Even worse when Keith Richards would always shower her with his sweet little compliments.

Which is what was happening right now.

“Girls! Always putting up a great show.” Keith said as the girls came off stage. They had performed after Guns, so there was no rush for anything. “Thanks Keith” the girls said as they all went to each others little tour boyfriends.

Slash watched from the couch as Keith put his arm around Y/n waist. “You get nastier every time i see you out there.” he said as Y/n smiled at him. “You think?” she said looking at him, Keith looked over her shoulder then span her around to where she faced the rest of the room.

“What’da do to the boy Y/n” He said smiling “Lookin at me like i’ve touched his most prized possession.”

Now it was Y/ns turn to look over Keith’s shoulder, making straight eye contact with Slash and sending him her sweetest smile. Slash just rolled his eyes and put his attention back on the groupie sitting on his lap.

“I haven’t done anything” She said looking back at Keith. “And that’s exactly what’s got his balls in a twist.” She said smiling at him. “I’ve gotta say you play a mean game” He said, now lighting a cigarette. “You know it, I’ll see you later Keith.” She said kissing him on the cheek and walking away.

———

“Slash” Duff said as he and Amber caught up to their curly headed friend. “What” He said smoking a cigarette as they walked through the hotel halls. “I have a hugeeee favor to ask you” Amber said as she looked across Duff.

Slash gave her a short mumble, which she took as an okay to keep talking. “Okay so, please please pleaseeee switch rooms with me” She said holding up her key card.

Slash blew out his cigarette smoke, “D-” “okay yes im rooming with Y/n” she said cutting him off “But comon, were all gonna all hang out get fucked up so all you’re gonna have to do is walk back with her and knock out!” She said holding on to Duffs hand, almost jumping up and down.

Duff looked at Slash with a pleading look, the curly haired man sighed and shook his head “Fine. But you owe me Duff.” He said as he traded keys with Amber.

He walked to he and Y/ns room, huffing and puffing cause he was so upset that instead of rooming with Duff, he was stuck with rooming with the girl that he had been trying so hard to avoid.

He rubbed his hands on his face before entering the room, “it’s just for the fucking night” he mumbled to himself.

During this, Y/n was also huffing and puffing, but for a different reason. The poor girl couldn’t find the only bra she bought with her on this tour. Looking through her bags, cigarette in her mouth with nothing but mini skirt and a white pair of ankle socks on.

As she heard the door open, she had her back faced to who she though was Amber, and said “Am, have you seen my bra? like the only fucken one I bought on tour?”

Y/n jumped when she heard Slash’s deep voice “Haven’t seen it”

She stood up and faced him, her hair being the only thing covering her breast.

“Scared me there baby” she said as she took a hit of her cigarette. “Didn’t expect you to be rooming with me”

Slash took a quick glance at her chest “It’s just for the night Y/n”

“You know,” The half naked girl said putting her cigarette out, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been talking to me” she said as she looked at him.

“I really miss your attention yknow?” she smiled at him.

“Whatever, i’m heading to Axls room” He said, but he was really gonna go out to find a groupie and imagine himself fucking Y/n.

Y/n grabbed his hand. “Why go? when you could just stay here with me” she said sending him her iconic sultry smile.

“There you go” he said pulling himself away from her and taking a step back.

“What do you mean?” She said slightly cocking her head to the side. “You know exactly what the fuck I mean.”

“You know” Y/n started as she stepped closer and closer to him “You’re the most impatient man” She said looking up to him, since he was only a few inches taller than her.

Slash looked at her, unable to move, “You’re such a fucken tease”

“Oh i’m the tease? really?” She said smiling at him, moving her mouth to his ear “You can’t even imagine what you make me feel” she whispered “When you’re out there on stage, all sweaty, all big and bad.”

She bit his ear lobe before looking back at his face, both of them looking at each others lips.

“I’ll show you a good time baby” she said looking at him with her doll eyes, kissing him.

Slash had to take a moment on what the fuck just happened, but after a split second of feeling her lips on his, he started to kiss her back.

Y/n deepened the kiss as Slash gladly did too, one of her hands around his neck as the other found it’s way to his hair. Pulling his head back to catch a breath.

“You still wanna go to Axls?” She said teasing him. “Fuck you” he responded as he lifted her by her legs and reconnected their lips.

She giggled as he threw her on the bed. Looking up at him as he stood before her. “Not fair that i’m the only one who’s topless” She said as she tugged the hem of his shirt.

Slash threw his shirt off, walked over to the side of the bed and layed down on his back.

Y/n looked over her shoulder, smiling at him as she crawled over to him and sat right on his waist.

His hands moved her hair out the way of her tits and began to grope them.

Smiling, Y/n reconnected their lips and began to rub herself on his leather pants. Her skirt had been risen up, her flimsy panties being the only thing covering her crotch.

Slash parted his lips as Y/n kissed down his neck, using her hands to unbutton his pants.

“You’re so fucken hot” he panted, feeling she was moving at a slow pace on purpose. “I know” she smiled as she had successfully put his pants down, revealing his hard member.

Looking down at his dick, she was excited. Spitting on her hand, she began to rub his member. “You’re bigger than I expected” she said, Slash’s mouth open as he slipped one of his hand in her underwear, rubbing her wet pussy. “shut up” he said.

He flipped her over in a swift movement, now fully taking his pants on as she took off her skirt.

Moving her panties to the side as he continued to rub her clit, “I don’t know why you would keep these on Y/n” he said using his free hand to rip them off her her. Y/n moaned “Fuck you, those were my favorite.”

“Shut up” he said as he lifted one of her legs to his shoulder, and in one swift moment, he filled her up. Y/n let out a loud moan, feeling him stretch her out.

He stood still for a moment, feeling her walls clench around him. Moving at an slow agonizing pace, Y/n moaned, “Slash- please”

“What do you want baby?” he said teasing her, though it was killing him also. “Please” she said, heavily breathing “Fuck me”.

And that was all Slash needed to move faster. Gripping her hips, his thrusted in and out of her.

He looked at Y/n, face flushed, eyes closed and head thrown back. He moved his hand from her hip and grabbed her face. “Look at me” he grunted. Y/n opened her eyes, tying to stop them from closing. “Fuck” she moaned out as Slash started to rub her clit as he reconnected their mouths.

Barley kissing, they moaned into each others mouths. Slash moved his head to the crook of her neck, lightly kissing her all over. “Fuck- you’re so fucken perfect” he said as his hips continued to move. “Please Slash” Y/n continued to moan “Im so close baby please” she said as she felt herself about to cum.

“Comon pretty” Slash said, now looking into her eyes, propping her leg back on his shoulder, fucking her like an animal, “cum for me”.

And she did, her eyelids fluttering, pulling him to her chest as she moaned his name like a fucken prayer.

Slash’s hips began to falter as she came, feeling her walls grow tighter. “Where do you want me to cum” he said quickly, not knowing if he was able to hold back. Heavily breathing, Y/n whispered “inside”.

With a few deeper thrust, Slash came, feeling like he was in heaven, his body on fire.

They both stayed there, trying to catch their breath.

He slipped out of her, throwing himself next to her.

Y/n got up to clean herself up, coming back to find Slash looking at her with such admiration. “Sleep with me tonight” She said looking at him “I’m kinda forced to yknow” he smiled, helping her under the covers. Giving him a kiss, she snuggled next to him and drifted to sleep.

And all Slash could do was look at her, and realizing he just fucked himself over. Because he was in love with Y/n Jones and her little fucken games.

———

FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT OMG 😭!!! I hope it wasn’t too bad. Hope u guys enjoyed🙊

[yourwolfmuzzle]

I have at least 5 unpublish posts about r/wby and me be fucking “why you hate your own characters” or “why you still in this vol1 mentality about your writing” or “WHY HEADCANONING SHIT WHEN YOU CAN DO CANON?????” but im just stop on every post in the middle because...bitch i can relate some problems or start to talk about my stuff, especially on “why you hate your own characters”.

Like...how you can write some character and be just “oh i hate this motherfucker\they deserve this\this asshole is dead now, that it.” and thats all? Its fine to hear stuff like this from viewers and its nothing new to hear shit like “if you like this character - you \insert word there\!”, but you the writers and you dont have any other emotions about your own antagonists? (unless its female antagonist, but i cant confirm this because i cant watch commentaries, only read from someone or notes, but from what i can tell at least about them they can say something positive or stuff that they honestly like about this character).

I can understand they scare about writing some scenes and make this look interesting because you can like this one specific scene but have fear that your viewers will have different opinion about this. But its been almost a decade, writers long time ago already told us that they dont want to see opinion that “sound too mean”, so i cant be like “community bully writers into be scared to write this series” (and to be honest its sound pretty fucking strange). Like i will not believe that they read rwde tag or critics subreddit or some social media\tag that is not have at least 90% fans positive posts because they dont want to see too much hard criticism about they story. Again, i kinda can understand that from some perspective (nobody like hearing some hard stuff about your art work), but...it doesn't feel like they get out of their comfort zone at least once in a while. If there was some trying to do this, we would have seen and heard it more in the series. But when they have some good moments - its accidental. A whole vol7 fell like accidentally sometime good writing after vol8 because what a continuation we got in vol8. Penny arc, Ironwood arc, Qrow\Ironwood, this whole r/wby/Ironwood conflict in general, Salem attacking Atlas, how Staff or Creation working and other stuff (not only characters arcs or conflicts, even character relationships got hurt in one way and another.) And even vol9 kinda hurt vol7 and EVEN vol8 and i wish i can say “oh its just because they have to cut two episodes and working on movie and a little bit on game, this is why some arcs got scratch or rush ending” but we still got half of the season that hardly matter for a whole volume. Penny dont matter at the end of the volume, Jaune story dont matter, Ironwood\Fall of Atlas conflict dont matter because “we want to believe we did at least a little bit good”, Ruby arc have to have rush and hard progress because we really want to show you Red Prince birthday. racoon joke and give conflict with Jaune, that will reset at the very end of the season, and tell you that ascension is not death. Oh and also - tree is the main creators and Two Gods is just Tree-childrens. And we will tell this at the very end of this season (good for you not brining there Oscar\Ozpin or Salem).

They scared of writing some scenes not because its they first season\this new season got crush by other decisions like crossover movie and they scared to cut new seasons\they REALLY that much scared by critics or some really scare tags on tumblr. If this was the point i fell i wont not say that good moments in some volumes was “accidentally good”.

We all scared to get bad comment about your work, but sometime you have to get this “bad comment”, otherwise you will not grow as a artist. I not gonna lie and say that sometime i jealous to see sometime GIGANICAL posts or videos about some aspects of this series with every details and even without harsh comments (like dude if you dont like when some critics call you bad names - there is posts\videos from people, who wholeheartedly LOVE your series with everything but still can be “there is this moment that can be better”.) Its like...”oh someone spend some time to analyze and then write\tell\even show what moment they wish to see better or what can be better?”. I dont know how to tell you but for me - this is extremely cool stuff. For me personally that mean someone saw my stuff, potential, and spend some time to think and tell me what was wrong, what was right and now maybe do this better. This shit help a lot even when its not about your art, but about someone art that have the same errors like you have or never thing that there was error (especially when you dont have people who can tell you what you doing wrong or tell more that “i like it”, and you just sit there in the box.)

I personally dont think that...MKEK is really bad and not redeemable writers. They have they moments, otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here. A lot of us got there because cool fight and colors aesthetics but somehow managed to still sit there. But stuff like this REALLY hurt show and make less fun to watch every season. 

Can i be wrong? Oh absolutely...

[mishkakagehishka]

*banging on ur front door* YAN MIKA WRITTEN AS HORROR YES I LOVE THIS hewlo...

i dont really know how much i can add. on that post myself but im here for this. i am consuming it. im not one to usually or generally rlly think much of mika BUT his fucked up factor ♡ good to think ab sometimes. plus the fact hes actually into eroguro canonically? hello sir. the scary factor from the fact hes just so delusional he wld actually think he could probably pain his darling any way and theyd just?? magically live thru it?? cause of course. theyre just so awesome great and godly to him、right? my god yeah he would absolutely try to recreate his fantasies thru clothes n hope his darling would accept them. i mean how mean can you be to poor little mika who offered to make some adorable clothes for you and say no to trying them? and hrnnn the drawings he would totally make so many. methinks he'd also make a plushie of some sorts of their darling maybe to keep around?? a tiny one. all with the guts spilling out and maybe forming a heart shape. how romantic

side note i think yan mika would also only be scary on surface level and thru his drawings ? like all bark no bite. i think as a yandere you could drive him off if youre mean enough to him. he'd still stalk you but stop bothering you and thats better than what others would do if you tried distancing yourself from them. i may be wrong on this、i dont know as much ab mika as ab my actual favs buuuut i felt like slapping all this here <3 keep it up op. and also maybe you can just mention gore vaguely and leave it up to interpretation if it makes you sick in the stomach :")

Disclaimer that I write yandere as a horror trope meant to shock and scare the reader and I don't try to romanticise it!

Warnings for talk ab gore and blood, mentions of eroguro and allusions to a blood/gore fetish (but nothing explicit)

Right awghh he'd be so fucked up about it... yandere Mika who spends his free time drawing how he thinks his darling would look with their guts spilling out, neck sliced open, bones peeking from beneath the skin... yandere Mika who blushes and has to bite his hand while thinking about how much he wants to cut his darling open, just to see, just out of curiosity... yandere Mika who sewed a little cloth doll of his darling that he cuddles to sleep, but the doll is painted to look as if it's covered in blood, and the organs are drawn on it, above its little clothes. Yandere Mika who so sweetly asks his darling to model his clothes, who dresses them up in increasingly worrying ensembles, but he's so passionate about it, they just can't tell him no. Yandere Mika who leaves his sketchbook open on the most gruesome pages in places where he knows his darling will see them, in an almost exhibitionistic manner... who wants them to ask about his art because he's too shy to bring it up himself. Who happily shows them, after they ask, page after page of his sketches, explaining in detail his thought process behind every aspect of the pieces. Explaining detail which ones he wants to recreate with them, and how he wants to do it.

Yandere Mika who asks his darling outright if he could hurt them. Not "hurt", that's not how he phrases it. He promises he would never harm them and that they'll be fine... that he just wants to see their blood. Yandere Mika who, if he gets brave, even shows them his eroguro art. Who breathes heavily as he keeps a blade to his darling's stomach. Who kisses their neck whilst making cuts on their torso just deep enough to draw blood. Who flirts by saying, "I wish I could cut ya open" and "I wanna see yer guts so bad, darlin'." Who tries to get his darling to cut him open after some time. Who, really, just has a fantasy of his lover killing him and being killed by him.

Yandere Mika obsessed with gore and blood, just, yeah. And the eroguro aspect... so many thoughts in my head. He'd be so slimy, so creepy about it, and very obvious. Blushing, squirming, frantically looking elsewhere, all because his darling had a sudden nosebleed that dripped down to their shirt, and his mind went straight to the gutter. He'd be such a creep. If he gets composed fast enough, he'll offer to help them clean up and change, but~ If he offers that, he's already getting brave, so hs might just pin them in the office bathrooms and clean them up by licking the blood off their lips, chin and neck himself.

And oo the all bark no bite... as for me, I think Mika would be like that at first. As a yandere he worships the ground his darling walks on, so he'll want to avoid making them angry with him or hate him, but... the thing is, he's also a bit of a masochist. If you're mean to him, he'll just find that even more addictive and seek you out more, he loves when his darling yells at him and calls him names, even though he doesn't want to be so happy about it (it's a paradox of his own thoughts - he doesn't want them to hate him, but he still loves when they call him a creep and tell him off). I think what might work better is ignoring him. Not really the grey rock method, but just straight up not responding when he talks to you, pretending like he doesn't even exist. No positive nor negative reactions for him to feed off. He wouldn't get bored of his darling, he'd just get sad that they're ignoring him, and would leave them alone/give them some space until they decide to talk to him again. But he does continue stalking them, stealing from their rubbish, leaving them weird unsigned "secret admirer" notes and presents etc etc anyway. Mika might be the hardest yandere to shake off because he has his own delusions of his darling and he doesn't give up easily on them, if at all, so no matter what you do, he makes excuses and reasons why he still has a shot with you and why he should just persist or become worse with all his fucked up habits to "impress" you.

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

ugh haha so this was something that crossed my mind the other day after i saw someone say something incredibly funny about SUF. i would love to throw the quote in here but i don’t talk to that person so you know, would probs be weird lmao.

anyway the point is... you know. i like shep, shep is fine. i would really like to be able to say shep is one of the many charas from SU that i love. like i too am non binery lmao but like. shep really doesnt function as meaningful or positive representation for me.

i always have like a frickin’ tome of thoughts swirling around in my head over any given SU subject but you know, one, i suck at putting things into words and two, im a lazy fuckhead so! don’t ever expect well written analysis from me that makes my points clear and difficult to refute bc i am simply not interested. who am i talking to here? that’s right, myself. moving on.

the point is, truly, that shep deserved so much more lmao. like not necessarily bc of who shep is, bc who the heck is that even, we barely spent any time with them at all... but just bc like, yea i really would have liked to see a Black non binary character (who is voiced by a Black non binary person in real life, the wonderful Indya Moore, who like, i had been a fan of their modeling for some time before finding out they got a VA spot on SU) get like... some real spotlight. im sure other ppl have made this point or they’ve at least thought to themselves like, wow shep was really just... a device. a prop. :/ and that reeeally does not sit well with me at all for about a bajillion reasons.

what i would want for shep and for any character like them, for any trans character, and for any chara on SU (my fave show ever like hello? the show where i love almost every single chara???)... is for them to be a whole person that i actually get to know. like i have a better sense of who mr. fryman is than i do shep you know what im saying lmao. i want better for shep! i love sadie, i adooooore sadie SO much, i want sadie to be happy. but when i see how SUF handled shep’s introduction and subsequent... what... like 5 mins total of screen time lmao... i wanted shep to be more than just a living symbol of sadie’s growth (since that’s what the crew apparently expects me to take away from... all that lmaoooo).

i have some loose drabble drafts where shep’s been a character and it’d be a dream to do them justice. but dang i practically gotta invent like... every single aspect of them lmao. bc “hot peacemaker” is like... not enough lmao! not by a long shot.