#im still recovering from a breakup from a not-good relationship

[pepshee]

Jealousy, or Jealous Hee

⋆˙ ⋆⭒˚.⋆

Pairing - ex!heeseung x fem!reader

Genre - college!au, smut, angst, exes to ??

Word Count - 3.2k

Synopsis - Heeseung was the perfect boyfriend and your first for everything romantic. When he broke up with you out of the blue and changed his entire personality you didn't know what to do. Until you saw him at a house party that is.

Warnings - cursing, drinking, angst, suggestive, mentions of jake + other idols, arguing, heeseung is a playboy, house party, creampie, oral (f rec.), p in v, mentions of smoking, lmk if i missed anything ! 18+ MDNI!

A/N - this is only my second fic ever and i didnt expect ppl to actually like the last one.. i'm adding smut this time cause i feel it's fitting. please give feedback!! this also might be a multi part fic if ppl want it... this is my first time writing smut too i hope it's good for yall😞 ive read a ton of smut fics so im using those as my references 🙏

PART TWO

Your relationship with Heeseung was going super well. Everyone said you two were soulmates, and were made for each other. You were practically glued at the hip, and did everything together including applying to the same college. You guys celebrated so much when you were both accepted. You knew you wouldn't be in the same dorm per the university guidelines, you both were still so happy.

It was everything you could ever ask for. The summer before college you two went on a long beach trip by yourselves even though neither of your parents approve, but who cares? You're adults now anyways.

The beach trip went super well and you two had lots of fun together, and lots of sex..

He helped you move into your dorm as back to school season is starting and everyone knows it's better to move into your dorm prior to starting school. You also helped him move into his dorm as well.

That was two and a half years ago though.. He broke up with you two days before the first day without an explanation..

────୨ৎ────

It's been two and a half years since the breakup and you still never got an actual reason. All you know is two days before both of your first days of your freshman year in college he texted you saying, "I wanna break up, I'm sorry, I'll miss you," that's it.

After the breakup he changed completely. He became a playboy. He started smoking, drinking alcohol, going to house parties, hooking up, and he'd skip classes sometimes. You never could've imagined he'd do this. To you he was a perfect angel, but it's like a switch flipped on him.

You're both now in your junior year of college. You both went your respective ways but you're not over it, and you don't think you ever will be. When he broke up with you, you cried all night and all day, never leaving the bed nor the dorm. Your roommate, Giselle, only having known you for a week had taken care of you and comforted you. She's now your best friend and she still hears you cry sometimes but pretends not to hear it knowing you were trying to hide it.

Heeseung broke your heart and you don't think you could ever recover even nearly three years later. What's even worse is that he became popular. You heard about his every move pretty much considering everyone was pretty much obsessed with him. It was always 'heeseung this' or 'heeseung that,' you were sick of it. Not because you hated him, hell, how could you hate someone you dated since your freshman year of high school?

You had always heard about his new girlfriends cause it was always the next big news on campus, which you never understood considering they'd only last a maximum a week. This new version of him was unlikable, at least to you, others didn't seem to care that he kept playing these girls. They somehow keep throwing themselves at him claiming they're different. They always expect to be the one to 'fix him' or the one he decides to keep but it never ends up working for them.

The more you heard about him the more it seemed like he was trying to stray far from the lover boy personality he had years ago. The truth is that you still love and miss him, you know it's far gone by now but how could you forget dating someone for five years just for him to break up with you without an explanation?

You couldn't bring yourself to confront him, text him, nor talk to him. It was like that part of your life was imaginary. You hated it, you hated that it happened like this, and most of all, you hated that you didn't know why.

────୨ৎ────

Today you and your friends had planned to go to your friend's house party. Years ago you wouldn't have imagined going to a college party, but that's because you and Heeseung were together and you would've rather hung out with him. Now that you're broken up, you figured at least the free alcohol could help. You've gone to a few parties now, but only the ones that are on weekends.

It was Friday and you only had two classes today. One that was two hours long, and one that was about an hour and a half. You get up and get dressed, wearing just a casual T-Shirt with some shorts as it was pretty warm outside. You finish getting ready, and do your makeup, curl your hair, and grab your stuff before leaving your dorm room.

Your first class was pretty boring as always. it was a literature class which honestly didn't even go with your major but you still had to take it for some reason.

Your second class was also boring, but thankfully it was shorter, even if only by 30 minutes.

Finally, you were done with classes for the day and you and your friends decided to meet up at a nearby restaurant to eat before the party because you're all likely gonna drink alcohol.

After arriving at the restaurant you wait out front for your friends to arrive. It only takes them a short while. All of you walk in to get seated and order your food and drinks.

"So did any of you see Heeseungs new girl?" Your friend Moka had asked. Your friends knew about your history with Heeseung, but they still insisted on gossiping about him for some reason. "No, who is it now?" Giselle was curious, as always, she loved to gossip.

"It's Nayeon, she's so pretty. Do you guys think he will ever settle down with someone?" Yujin responded, you stayed silent throughout the exchange which was a normal occurrence whenever Heeseung was brought up.

Finally the waiter brings all of your orders. You all start to eat and enjoy the food you had ordered. You thought they would drop the topic of Heeseung but they didn't. "Hey look at Heeseung's story!" Karina turned her phone to the rest of you. On the screen you see a photo of Heeseung, with Nayeon, but it's in the cafe you two used to go to all the time when you were together. The text on the photo reads "same place, different person," it was like he was taunting you, like he knew you would see it, like he knew you'd be affected. You tried not to let it show but he was right, it did affect you.

All the memories started flowing back of all the times you two went there, you went so much to the point the employees already knew what you both would order without having to ask. It was your favorite place to go when you had downtime, and when you could leave school in the middle of the day when you were seniors in high school. You had never imagined a life without Heeseung but now you do and it's hard.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by Giselle speaking to you. "Y/N, are you okay? You seemed out of it, and you haven't touched your food much," you nodded letting her know you're okay. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," you reassured everyone and went back to eating.

────୨ৎ────

The time of the party was now approaching. You all decided to facetime while getting ready. You decided to get a little scandalous with your outfit which you usually never did. You put on a black lace cropped tank top, with a denim mini skirt which was just a bit too small for you, but that's the point. You put on a pair of thigh highs, heels, do your makeup, curl your hair, and finally add some finishing touches of jewelry.

You and Giselle leave your dorm and head to the campus courtyard to meet up with the other two girls. "Oh my god, Y/N, you look so hot, you have to dress like this more often," you giggle at Karina's compliments. The four of you meet your friend Minnie who is the designated driver. She doesn't like to drink alcohol, but she still wanted to go to the party so she agreed to be the DD.

It only took about 20 minutes to get to the party, you don't know whose house it was but it was pretty large. You all enter the party, and decide to split up. You head to the kitchen immediately wanting to drink some alcohol. You see multiple empty, full, and half-full bottles of various alcohols. You don't even pay attention to whichever one you grab, you just pour it into a cup. The alcohol leaves a small burning sensation in the back of your throat. You walk towards the living room where the majority of people are, but you spot someone you weren't ready to come face to face with yet as the wound is still wide open... Heeseung..

He was with his douchey friends that he had made after he did a complete 180 with his personality. The seven boys were always causing a stir, but they were so hot you had to admit...

You hadn't realized you were staring at him, but he had.

Heeseung was talking with his friends until he had a feeling someone was staring at him. He thought it was just another girl that wanted to suck him off or something. He turned his head to find you staring his way. He didn't really know how to react really, it's been a while since he'd since you despite you two being on the same college campus. He'd only seen you from a distance really.

The truth is he did miss you, and he would purposefully post his new girls just cause he knew you would see and would get jealous. He knew it was toxic and wrong but he didn't really care. At first he had no interest in posting the girls he was with because it would only be for a short while. That was until he started to miss you, miss everything you did together, miss your lips, your smile, your laugh, everything about you. That's when he started to try and make you jealous, and as far as he can tell it's working.

As he looks back at you his lips curve into a smirk before he excuses himself from his friends, "yo, guys, I'll be right back alright?" he announced. His friends give him small smirks knowing that usually when he excuses himself at a party it's for a girl.

You only realize he was staring back at you when he starts to approach you. You internally start freaking out not knowing what to do. Before you can come up with something he's already in front of you.

"Y/N. You're dressed... quite.. sexy.." His smirk gets even larger as those words come out his mouth. "You're also quite flushed, you're already drunk aren't you?" Shit, you hadn't even realized the alcohol had kicked in.

"What do you want Heeseung," you tried to sound mad and upset but it turned out more slurred than you wanted due to the alcohol in your system.

"To talk to my sexy ex-girlfriend, is there an issue?" You hated the cockiness in his voice. You hated how he was acting like nothing happened, like it was all okay, like you didn't cry, and throw up multiple days straight.

"Don't act like nothing happened. You broke up with me out of the blue.. You fucking hurt me." Your words now finally pack the punch you wanted the whole time.

"Come on don't act like that, seriously, just talk to me and be civil Y/N," a fake pout formed on his face as if trying to earn sympathy points from you.

"Can you take shit seriously for once? Ever since we broke up you changed and I fucking hate it! You would've never acted like this two and a half years ago!" You raised your voice at him, it's not loud enough for everyone to hear but some people nearby steal glances at the two of you. "Come on you don't mean that baby," He was starting to irritate you. Does he seriously have no shame? How did he end up like this?

"God you're so irritating you know that?! You're acting like you didn't break my heart, like you didn't leave me high and dry, without a rhyme or reason," now yelling at him because his act was getting to you, how could he be so nonchalant about this?

"Calm down okay? Let's talk about this when you're not drunk, don't cause a scene, you're gonna regret it later baby," his words weren't working on you, but then you then you thought about it. Maybe he was right, you should calm down, you hated creating scenes.

"Why're you calling me baby Heeseung?" Your voice is now softer, no longer yelling at him.

"You used to be my baby," you really didn't know how to react to his words, after all it's his fault you're broken up.

Your thoughts are immediately interrupted by his lips on yours. A feeling you haven't felt in so long. The kiss begins to become more like making out, his tongue dancing with yours and his hands on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

He breaks the kiss to catch his breath and to say, "you're so lucky my buddy Jake owns this house. Follow me to the bedroom baby," the alcohol, and desire completely throw all of your common sense and critical thinking out the window. He takes your hand and leads you upstairs to an empty bedroom.

Once in the bedroom he immediately closes and locks the door before pinning you against it. Before you can process anything his lips are once again on yours moving hungrily.

He breaks away to remove your top, which coincidentally you weren't wearing a bra under. He lets out a small gasp but then a smirk curves onto his lips. His hands grab onto your breasts kneading them before taking one into his mouth.

You moan at the sensation and move one of your hands to his hair gripping it lightly. "Hee–" your breathless words made him want you even more.

He releases your breasts and removes his own shirt, unbuttoning it quickly.

Seeing his bare torso after so long could've made you cum on the spot, you loved his abs so much, you'd caress them randomly even if you were just cuddling and watching tv. "You're drooling Y/N," he chuckles. "No I'm not!" trying to wipe the saliva that had escaped the corners of your mouth.

He takes your hand and drags you over to the bed pushing you down onto it gently. He climbs on top of you, now hovering above you. He kisses you again while his hands move to the waistband of your short skirt. He breaks the kiss for a moment, "can I?" he asks, waiting for you to grant him permission to remove it.

You nod unable to form words momentarily. He wastes no time unbuttoning the denim skirt and unzipping it. He pulls it down leaving you in just your baby pink lacy underwear.

"These are so cute baby, I love this new pair," Heeseung had seen pretty much every pair of your underwear while you were together. You two were quite the hormonal teenagers in high school.

He then removes his pants, now leaving the two of you in just your underwear.

He reaches to remove your underwear sliding it down your legs before tossing it somewhere in the room. He slowly spreads your legs giving himself a view of your bare pussy. "Just how I remember it... So wet and pretty for me. He'd always do this whenever you two had sex. He'd spend so much time complimenting your pussy as if it could hear him. You always had to beg and plead for him to do something to you. "I'm gonna eat her okay?" he looks up at you waiting for approval whilst positioning his head between your legs.

"Please..." he doesn't hesitate after hearing your breathless plea to start licking your folds. The sensation is one you haven't felt in a while making it feel foreign to you once again. "Hee—" you moan. Your fingers bury themselves into his soft locks.

He continues to lick and occasionally sucks on your clit. He then inserts two fingers and starts moving them in and out of you. The double stimulation from his tongue and fingers making you see colors, the grip on Heeseung's and hair and your grip on the sheets making your knuckles turn white slightly. It's surprising how you're not ripping out his hair at this point. "Shit- Heeseung.. I'm gonna c-cum!" You can feel him smirking against your cunt as your loud moaning signifies your approaching orgasm.

Before you can let it go he pulls away making you whimper at the loss of stimulation, and the emptiness without his fingers. You're about to complain but he opens his mouth before you, "I want you to cum on my dick, not my tongue baby."

He then pulls down his boxers revealing his hard length, the one you haven't seen in nearly three years. You still loved it though, it was so big, thick and veiny... It was one of your favorite things about him, how blessed he was to be so big.

He pumps himself a few times before positioning himself between your legs. "You ready for me?" you couldn't tell if he was talking to you, or your pussy but you responded anyway "yes... please..."

He slowly inserts himself into your entrance going slowly so you can adjust to his size. You moan at the feeling of him stretching you. He bottoms out, pausing for a moment to let you adjust. "Please— can you move," you whine. He chuckles at your words before he starts moving his thrusts starting out slow before he starts speeding it up, the sounds of skin slapping together fills the room as he splits your hole open. You can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

"You feel so good baby, just how I remember. So tight for me baby," he groans as he feels you clench around him at his words. "Seungie-" your fingers gripping the sheets tighter.

"I know baby, I know," he knew exactly what was happening. He loved the sound of you calling him his old nickname. "Let go for me baby, we'll cum at the same time."

All it takes is a few more thrusts for you both to let go, the knot that was forming in your stomach finally snapping. You felt his warm release coating your walls, and you felt your release mixing with his. He pulled out of you gently, careful as to not hurt you. You could feel the liquids spilling out and sliding down your ass.

Heeseung lays next to you looking into your eyes, "goodnight Y/N," he says softly. You give him a gentle smile before closing your eyes and going to sleep.

What happens now?

What happens between you two?

Do you get back together?

PART TWO HERE

[amuyyi]

warm enough .

synopsis; recovering from an expected breakup, you find yourself drunk at a nearby bar, encountering an unfamiliar girl who happens to know your ex.

trope; non idol!ningning x fem!reader, uni au, fluff, a little angst, a little suggestive, strangers to lovers, feat. kep1er members :3

wc; 4.8k

cw; a little suggestive but not really

a/n; fun fact this happened to me irl ! figured i could use my experiences for stories ! everything from the breakup to the bar kiss is based on my personal experience so lol have fun. also its kinda poorly written because i wrote some of it while on the plane + in china while being very tired and i dont feel like proofreading so im sorry ^^'

The breakup was supposed to be a mutual thing. A smooth and easy agreement between you and Jimin. You guys met in a cafe when your soon-to-be-ex girlfriend finally dropped the bomb on you. 

“I still care a lot about you, y/n. But I want to focus on myself and my future… I think you should too.”

You wanted to speak up, say that you didn’t want to let go yet. Just… hold on for a little longer. Maybe it’d get better if you guys just kept it going for another week. Another month. Another day?

 “What I’m trying to say is…”

You always hated this part.

“I think we should break up.”

Despite the older girl being the one to initiate the ending of the relationship, you always knew it was coming. Jimin was sweet, and you definitely did enjoy the little dates you guys had been on through the past year, but there was something missing. Every time she looked at you, it seemed like she was looking through your eyes into her own. Her mind was always elsewhere whenever you two were together, like she was searching for something you couldn’t provide. She never seemed to smile around you, never laughed loudly or hugged you with warmth. 

You really tried to be the person for her, you really did; but it was apparent that she was trying to convince herself you were the one as well.

It was shown in the way she bought you endless gifts with things you said you wanted, but never kissed you, In the way she would allow you to hold her hand, but never reached out herself, how she couldn’t bring herself to say “I love you” out loud. Jimin was cold.

You agreed that this was the best path to take, how you felt the exact same way and that it would be good for the both of you, but the tears that nonconsensually left your eyes said otherwise. You still remember the last words you told her before you got up to leave.

“I really hoped it was you.”

There's a saying or the other. “Your body will know if someone is right for you.” You came across it while aimlessly scrolling on social media once, and you thought it was an interesting but ridiculous concept. Countless people would share stories about how their hair would fall out or how they would break out into horrible acne when they were with their past partners, only being relieved from this when single or with their “match.”

It was funny, and you didn’t believe one bit of it until it actually happened. The tightness in your chest that followed you every time you two went out together, the stress of wondering if she actually enjoyed her company, the way you couldn’t truly relax in her presence– it all went away. It all left when she walked out of your life, and you’ve never felt more at peace with a decision. At least, for a little bit.

The breakup was the easy part. It was the recovery that ruined you.

You were the one to establish a rule of no contact, even after you both expressed wanting to stay in touch. It was your only way to hold on to the last sliver of pride you had left after spending a year chasing after Yu Jimin. The rule was established to allow you some time to heal, and you hoped to return to the girl as friends once you felt ready.

With this in mind, you then proceeded to spend a month barely eating, barely sleeping, and not leaving your apartment unless you needed to for classes. It was difficult to be on your own after dedicating so much time to her, falling behind, hoping that she would see you the way you saw her; but after about a month, you slowly felt yourself regaining your footing.

You started going out again, talking with your roommate, taking time to actually care for yourself. It was nice. Perhaps your progress would have left you comfortable enough to move on if you didn’t decide to go out that day.

There she was. Yu Jimin. After an exact 31 days of no contact with her, you finally cross paths. Quite literally, at that– but she wasn’t alone. There was a girl on her arm. She was pretty. Blonde with bobbed hair and a soft smile that made it impossible to hate her. Jimin was smiling too. This is the first time you’ve seen her smile like that, smiling as if she found what she was looking for after all of this time. She doesn't look past her. She sees her.

Jimin holds the other girl by the small of her waist the way she used to do with you, and she kisses her. She kissed her. Just like how she used to kiss you, but not exactly. There's love in her eyes. A warmth you’ve never seen before. In her eyes, there is certainty.

And that was the day your world came crashing down on top of you.

You tried to act normal as you walked past. You really did. Your eyes remain glued to your phone as your knuckles turn white. Her eyes didn’t even meet yours as you walked by. Why wouldn't she look at you? Maybe she's wondering why you won't look at her. That must be it. You hold your breath. As soon as she passed by, you couldn’t help yourself. You made the mistake of looking back.

…Nothing.

As soon as Jimin was out of sight, you cried. You ran home, scaring half the life out of your poor roommate, Xiaoting, as you collapsed in your bed. Everything hurts. Why did it hurt? You wanted this. You felt better without her— the tightness in your chest was gone. 

Instead, it was replaced by an indescribably painful ache. One that felt so deep within your soul it would never heal. Quietly entering your room, Xiaoting says nothing as she sits next to your limp body on the bed, rubbing your back comfortingly. The gesture only makes you sob even harder. 

She's been with you through it all. From the beginning of your relationship with Jimin till the end, she was there. Xiaoting really was a good friend.

From then on, Xiaoting’s one goal was simple: cheer you up. She would cook at least once for you every day despite not being the best chef, and she would allow you to rant about the same things over and over no matter how overbearing it got. Honestly, you started to feel a little bad. She shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for you just because you’re a little sad.

So when Xiaoting announces that you will be joining her at the bar with her friends tonight, you couldn't say no. Both because she stated it, not asked you, and that it simply was the least you could do for her. Especially after everything she’s done for you. Before you knew it, you were dressed up in your best (slutty) corset top and cargo pants with some hoops and over exaggerated makeup to accent the look. Xiaoting, as your best roommate and friend, matches with you, and you two make a big scene out of getting ready together; blasting music, doing each other's hair, borrowing each other's clothes, and more.

Xiaoting’s girlfriend Yujin had made herself at home for the pregame, and your mutual friend Hikaru soon followed. With Xiaoting as designated bartender, the four of you mingle, laughing and cracking jokes as the warmth of the alcohol and one another’s presence left you with a warming buzz. Xiaoting was an excellent mixer, and in combination with the chasers Hikaru bought and the drinking games Yujin proposed, you were all ready to go. 

Xiaoting and Yujin led the way, hand in hand as you and Hikaru trailed behind, drunkenly singing into the cold night air as you trek to the nearest bar.

Being a Friday night, the establishment had been as packed as expected, and you all squeezed your way past other visitors as you’re guided to a nearby table. Xiaoting starts off strong, ordering shots for the entire group before utilizing her combined charm alongside her girlfriend’s looks to convince guys to purchase drinks for everyone as well. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way the duo would bat their eyelashes innocently at lone men for drinks– but at least it worked.

Lazily, your eyes wander through the crowd, the alcohol in your system making it a struggle to see straight. Despite your inability to see properly, you still manage to catch a glimpse of your friends from the corner of your eye, and easily spot Yujin attempting to very publicly make out with Xiaoting as Hikaru struggles to pull her away. You stifle a laugh at the sight, and decide to leave the three to their antics whilst you look for someone to talk to.

It's been a while since you last struck up a conversation with a stranger. The last time you had put yourself out there was before you met… 

You shake your head. No. You are not letting your stupid ex ruin your night. Knitting your brows in concentration, you scan the bar. There were plenty of pretty girls to talk to, but you were feeling a little intimidated. Almost all of them came with at least one other person, and you didn’t want to intrude on anything…

 Your eyes landed on a lone blonde at the end of the table, scrolling through her phone with alcohol flushed cheeks. She seemed approachable. Worst case scenario, she simply shoos you off. Taking a deep breath, you approach the blonde, deciding to pull out your best conversation starter.

“Are you chinese? You look chinese!!” You exclaim, suddenly switching to mandarin in the middle of your sentence as you ask the question. Smooth.

The blonde girl looks as if she would’ve been extremely offended at the comment if you didn't just speak to her in her native tongue halfway through your sentence, and she quirks a brow at you, an amused smirk on her lips as she leans against the bar. 

“Yeah, I am! What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this alone??” 

You feel your heart begin to race. So far so good. “I'm not alone!!! My friends are just busy making out with each other and the other is trying to stop them!!” You also lean on the bar, though not as alluring as the blonde before you. More like you partially collapsed and partially slid on it.

She chortles at your response, “well that's not fair to you, leaving you here all alone.”

The sweet and somewhat sultry tone of the blonde makes (non alcohol induced) blush appear on your face as you laugh, “it really isn't! But whatever! My name is y/n by the way!! What's yours??” You scream over the music, sticking your hand out. It was an unexpectedly polite gesture considering your circumstances, and perhaps it may have seemed a bit comical as well with how drunk you were.

She giggles at the response, grabbing your hand then pulling you in, her lips dangerously close to your ear as she yells over the music, “Ning Yizhuo. But call me Ningning! It's cuter!”

You grin. Ningning was a cute nickname. You decided at this very moment you could trust this cute stranger with your life story and personal information she didn’t ask for, and begin to slur out.

“My friends dragged me out here because I was sad over my ex who moved on from me a month after the breakup even though we dated for a year and she's a big jerk for that even though I wish only the best for her but also I hope she dies!!!”

None of the words you spoke just now came out clear, and they seemed to trip over one another when leaving your mouth, but it was enough for the other girl to go from extremely relaxed to suddenly very heated. She stands up straight as her eyebrows knit together.

“To be honest I don’t think she ever really liked me in the first place! I don’t know!! Whatever it doesn’t matter!!!” You continue on, sounding absolutely pathetic as you let yourself feel through the anger you didn’t even know you were repressing, “I was stupid to stay with someone who couldn’t even look me in the eye when saying she loved me!! She was stupid to do the same!! Whatever!! I don’t know!!”

Ningning cuts you off with a raised hand before you can continue, “what the hell?! I hate people like that!!  You're wayyyy too hot to be treated that way! Who is she? What's her name?? I might know her!!”

Against your better drunken judgment, you decide to name drop your ex within a university bar. Because that is always a good idea. “Yu Jimin!! She's a engineering major !!!”

Ningning’s jaw drops as she stares at you, almost as if she were trying to find the correct words for what she has to say next.

“Girl, I know her !!!” She screams out after a brief moment of silence,  “we shared a class together once!! Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't know she was like that!! You deserve BETTER!” 

Before you could even think of what to say in reaction to that heavy load of information, Ningning grabs your face, pulling you into a kiss. It was a very messy one, her lips almost missing your own during the exchange. Seems like she's not entirely sober either. 

Still, even in your drunken state you knew what to do. Your hands immediately find Ningnings hair as you pull her in closer, and you can feel her smiling as she grazes her tongue over the bottom of your lip. 

You open your mouth to let her in and the only thing that you can think of or even feel for that matter is Ningning and her tongue. She… was really good at this. Jimin never kissed you like this before. Her hands trail down your back to your ass before she squeezes it, smirking when you squirm against her touch.

She breaks the kiss, her face inches away from yours as she breathes out, “you deserve so much better…” Ningning gives you a quick peck on the lips before stepping back, taking in her work with a devilish glint in her eyes. You stare at her dumbfounded for a moment before whipping out your phone, fully talking in your appearance. Your hair and makeup were a wreck. How did all of that happen just now?

“Done by yours truly~” Ningning winks at you, quickly slipping your phone out of your hand and typing something in.

“Wh— Wait what are you doing?”

“Giving you my number, obviously. My girls are gonna wonder where I went.” She hands back your phone and looks at you with soft eyes through her drunken daze. 

“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Ningning kisses you one last time, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go. She disappears into the crowd of partygoers, a sly fox-like grin on her face.

“There you are!” 

You feel an arm land on your shoulder as you jump, twirling around and looking down to see a drunk Hikaru with a slightly less drunk Xiaoting and an absolutely hammered Yujin on her side.

“We should probably head back home!” Xiaoting screams into your ear, “Hikaru’s gonna knock out on the couch and Yujin will be with me!”

Her words barely make it through to you, the music and the alcohol and the adrenaline within your system muffling out every word spoken. Regardless, you still nod and trail behind your friends as you leave, not all too sure what just happened.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You lay in bed, eyes practically burning holes into the new contact in your phone. “宁宁<3” is what it said. 

So last night wasn’t just a dream. You really did just get a girl's number by doing nothing but spilling your secrets to a stranger. On top of all of that, your head was absolutely killing you, you swore you could feel your heartbeat within your brain. Still, that wasn’t important. Biting your lip, your fingers hover over the contact name. Should you message her? 

y/n [10:59]  — hey !! its y/n, the girl from the bar

y/n [10:59]  — thanks for keeping me company last night :)

ningning [11:06]  — i was wondering if u were gonna text me back

ningning [11:06] — and of course <3 jimin doesn’t know what she lost

y/n [11:08] — haha im flattered

y/n [11:08]  — but u barely know me??

ningning [11:11]  — that can change xx

Your eyes widen as you reread the text over and over again. Is she implying what you think she's implying? What if she's just being friendly? Can you even platonically make out with someone at the bar?

y/n [11:16] — are u asking me out on a date ning yizhuo ?

You wait. 

Oh god. What if she was just being friendly?

ningning [11:18]  — only if youll have me 

You feel yourself blush at her message, burying your face into your pillow as you squeal like a high school teenager in love. It was embarrassing in hindsight, but.. it felt nice to be wanted. 

y/n [11:19] —  of course

ningning [11:19] — perfect <3 

ningning [11:20] — dinner at my place tonight then? 

ningning [11:20] — If youre not too hungover.. 

ningning [11:20] — i got the best hangover cures ;)

you can't help but arch your eyebrow at the winky face she added at the end but brushed it off, more focused on the fact that your drunk hatred towards your ex landed you a date. 

You scramble to your feet and (metaphorically) kick down Xiaoting’s door, abruptly waking the girl from her nap as she screams out, “WO CAO!” She places a hand over her heart as she bolts up within her bed, immediately letting out a sigh of relief when she realizes it was just you. 

“Girl what the HELL is wrong with you?!” She hisses, laying back down and throwing the blanket over her head.

You, being the ever loving and best roommate ever, respond to this by jumping into bed with (on top of) the redhead and squeezing her as tight as you can while screaming “I HAVE A DATE!!!”

Xiaoting shoots back up, your arms still latched onto her torso as she looks down at you, eyes wide. “Wait, are you serious?”

You hear a low groan and a hand slapping your arm as you roll your eyes, slapping the arm back as the voice of Yujin grumbles out and shuffles deeper within the sheets.

Both you and Xiaoting look at one another and giggle before she quietly slips out of bed, quickly placing a kiss on Yujins head before grabbing your arm and leading you out of her room. Once outside, she firmly grasps your shoulders. 

“Okay, now tell me everything.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You nervously stand outside of Ningnings apartment, bag clutched in hand as you look back behind you. Xiaoting sat within her car on the side of the road, keeping an eye on you to make sure this girl wasn’t going to kidnap you or the other.

The two of you (and soon enough Yujin and Hikaru) had spent the day giving you pointers on how to go about the date. They had thrown an ungodly amount of clothes your way as well as telling you endless conversation starters and compliments to give another person. By the end of it all your head was overflowing with information that you were going to forget as soon as you head out the door, and all of your closet was sprawled on your bedroom floor and in the living room. Still, the girls seemed quite proud of their work.

All of you had consecutively agreed on an outfit that was nice, but not too nice. You wore a plaid skirt paired with a simple tank top and an off the shoulder cardigan.

Holding your breath, you ring the doorbell. You really hoped this wasn’t a mistake. When was the last time you were actually on a date with someone? You couldn't remember. After a few moments of silence, you hear shuffling followed by the door unlocking and Ningning poking her head out shyly. Her eyes light up at the sight of you before opening the door completely, revealing her outfit.

She wore an oversized plaid button up, unintentionally matching with your skirt alongside baggy jeans and some bunny slippers you thought were incredibly cute. Her hair was tied up in a messy but charming bun, held up by a hair stick with small gemstones dangling from the end.

This Ningning was completely different from the one you had met at the bar last night. Though, you suppose you were a different person now as well.

“You're here! Come in come in!” She grabs your hand and guides you inside. Flustered, you spare a quick glance behind you, and you can spot the silhouette of Xiaoting throwing a thumbs up from her car before Ningning closes the door behind you.

“You look gorgeous today, by the way,” Ningning compliments, her thumb rubbing over your fingers as she walks you through her apartment. The gesture makes your cheeks warm, and you find yourself easing into her touch like putty. It was a touch that was loving. Kind. Intentional. 

Her home was cozy, with white walls paired alongside warm lighting and paintings and other wall art lining the interior. There was an appetizing aroma that wafted through the air, and you had remembered that Ningning had offered to cook for you.

“What have you prepared for us tonight, chef Ningning?” You ask, squeezing her hand as she grins, “Well it's not much, I'm not a really good cook but I decided to make us some dumplings! A little basic, but it's the only dish I feel like I’ve actually perfected.”

“I hope this is the hangover cure you mentioned” you comment lightheartedly, and you sense a playful energy in the way she looks back at you.

“You'll find out soon enough.”

You once again find yourself quirking a brow at her vague answers, but she simply smiles at you innocently and you find yourself smiling back. It was hard to not be amused by her.

Ningning guides you to the kitchen, which was cleaned perfectly for your arrival. On the center of the table were multiple bamboo steamer baskets, as well as a large tea pot and a simple glass bottle with various native wildflowers as a centerpiece. 

The other girl pulls out a chair for you, and you teasing grin at the polite gesture, “how romantic, Ninging~”

She rolls her eyes and giggles before settling down herself, instantaneously pouring you a cup of tea as she gestures at the baskets, “go on, dig in. I’ll be personally offended if you don’t.”

Chuckling, you open up the baskets, releasing clouds of steam before revealing multiple handmade dumplings with various fillings and differing folding styles. Your eyes widen, and you simply comment, “wow,” before taking the first bite of the food.

To say that it tasted amazing was an understatement– you practically felt like you were thrown back to the motherland with a single bite, and it wasn’t long before you were filling your plate with more.

The two of you had spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another more. You had learned she was a computer science major and going onto her third year of uni, as well as the fact she was from Harbing whilst you shared that you were from Shanghai. 

“Big city girl, huh?” Ningning amusedly comments, sipping on her tea as you roll your eyes, “yeah… But I'm not rich or anything before you ask.”

The blonde feigns rejection as she snaps her fingers, “damn. I was gonna ask you to buy drinks next time we head to the bars, I think you owe me. ” She smiles at you, and it's warm.

You liked this. You liked how easy it was to talk to her. It was never this easy before.

Soon enough you had ended up on Ningning’s couch, browsing through movies aimlessly as the hefty meal threatened to send you into a food coma. The blonde lay comfortably in your arms underneath a blanket, her eyes occasionally fluttering shut as you continued to search for something to watch.

“Hmm, what about… Velocipastor?” The name completely throws you off guard, prompting you to click on it, skimming over the description as you feel the vibration of Ninging lazily humming beneath you. 

“Oh that movie is really good, trust me.”

“... Really? Are you sure, Ning?”

“Yeah yeah…” Her eyes were already shut as she spoke, nuzzling in closer to you as you chuckle, putting on the movie as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her in closer. 

Honestly, the movie seemed to be an excuse for the girl to be physically close to you– maybe get a nap in? You weren’t even sure if she was watching the movie at this point. Still, maybe it was for the best. Velocipastor was definitely not well funded within its production, that much could be seen. Plus, you couldn't complain about having a cute girl in your arms.

“Does your head still hurt?”

Ningning’s soft voice rings out, startling you. Honestly, you were getting pretty invested in the film, you had thought she already fell asleep.

“Mmm, a little. I don’t think your hangover cure worked.”

“Oh, the dumplings weren’t the cure.”

Your head cocks to the side as you tear your gaze away from the tv screen, looking down at the girl nestled on your chest as she looks back up at you. There was that all too familiar glint in her eyes again.

“Then what is?”

A mischievous grin curls on her lips before she leans in, connecting her lips with yours. Still a bit sluggish from the night before alongside a hefty meal, her kissing was a bit sloppy, but it was soft. Much softer than before.

You feel yourself almost immediately sigh into the kiss, and you would have found it embarrassing if she didnt guide her hand up your chest, to your neck, and into your hair, soon deepening the kiss. 

Not expecting things to escalate so soon, you couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper as your hands landed on her hips, nails digging into her sides desperately as she laughs against your lips, pulling back. 

“You’re really cute, y’know?” She purrs, using her hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face, and you can see the hint of pink spread across her lips as she smiles, drinking in the sight of you.

Before you even have a chance to respond, Ningning tackles your jawline, trailing kisses down your face and onto your neck. You try to respond, but when she starts to nip the side of your neck, the words you wanted to say somehow managed to melt into complete mush.

“Mmhmmhgh…” 

The sound that escapes your lips allows you the chance to actually feel embarrassed, and you slam a hand over your lips, looking away from Ninging. Your response elicits another laugh from the blonde, and you swear you could listen to the sound forever. 

Her symphony soon quiets though, and Ningning looks you straight in the eye, her gaze softening as she opens her mouth, struggling to find the right words to say.

“Look, I know we just met…” she trails off for a moment, almost a bit shy to continue, “but if you want to give me a chance and see where this goes, I promise I’ll treat you so well.” 

Her eyes are filled with genuine desire for you, and you couldn’t help but feel… Isolated? Targetted? For the first time you feel like you’re seen, and you don’t know what to do about it.

She presses on, “I’d really like to see you again, and I know you’re going through a lot right now but I want to be there with you every step of the way. I want to see where this takes us.”

“I want you, y/n.”

Your face heats up instantaneously, and you swear your eyes were threatening to bulge out of your skull right then and there. You look at her in silence as you struggle to find your words, and after a few seconds you finally croak out,

“I… I want to see where this takes us too, Ningning.”

Her eyes brighten at your response, and she beams, pulling you into a tight hug on the couch before interlocking her lips with yours once again. You giggle into the kiss, and throw the blanket over the two of you as the movie on the tv buzzed on. For the first time, you found someone warm enough for you.

[softxsuki]

Hello! If requests are still open I would like to submit one for the valentines day event? I would like a confession letter from baji (he's liked me for a LONG while but bc I have low self esteem/been in a bunch of failed friendships and relationship (some of wbuch he had a part if bc he didnt wanna see me with another man), I only saw him as a friend and didn't really allow myself to have feeling for him (like im a really optimistic/extroverted person but I'm also rlly scared of getting close to people as my most recent friendship breakup resorted in me getting fucking insomnia that took weeks to recover from). Tone: hurt/angst to comfort/fluff where after I try to go out on a date (and fail), he finds me crying onnthr curb, ion wanna see his fsce (bc we got into an argument) and then he tries tos ee what's wrong but I'm hiding my feelings, we get into an argument and I run off (it's super dramatic too). Other info: we've been tight since middle school (i saw him as a big bro/cool guy figure. Looked up to him) ans latches onto him even as I gained and lost friends gjnffjdnmd

Sorry if its too confusing or complex dndndn

Have a lovely day!

Confession Letter from Baji

This event is now CLOSED, but you can view the masterlist for the other letters here.

| Pairing: Baji x Gn!Reader| Genre: Comfort, Fluff | Post-Type: Letter | Word Count: 500 |

Warnings: mild language, jealousy, crying

Note: You painted a whole scene for me, so thank you. Hope you like !

You were at home sulking over the events of the day; a failed date once again due to your inability to fully trust a guy again, to Baji finding you crying on the curb, the argument that ensued after, and you running away from your own feelings, taking yourself back home.

You felt so pathetic, why couldn’t things work out for you? Why did you have to have these feelings for your friend despite how much you tried to push them away? There was no denying them anymore.

A knock at your door, forces you off your feet, opening the door to find no one there, but instead, a letter on the ground with your name on it.

Strange…

You wipe away your tears and bring the letter in with you, opening it;

Y/N,

Before you crumple this up and throw it away, please wait…I’m sorry okay? I was just…upset. I realize I’ve been holding my feelings back for so long that my instinct is to scold you for going out on dates…it’s probably jealousy honestly.

We’ve been close since middle school and I’ve seen all the crap you’ve been through with fake friends and failed relationships…which I’ve probably scared a few potential love interests of yours away myself…but I can’t help it. I like you. What man stands around and lets other guys talk to the person they like? Despite how lame I’ve been to keep it to myself instead of just telling you…

But after tonight, I can’t hold it back anymore. I like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I hate to see you hurting…I know I could treat you well. Our friendship is proof of that, but I want to be more than just your friend. I want to hold you when you’re hurting and kiss your tears away. I want to reassure you and build you up after all the times you’ve been knocked down by losers who don’t know how to treat their lovers…

I’m tired of running from my feelings, I just hope I haven’t pushed you away by telling you this. 

Come find me, please.

Love, 

Keisuke.

You can’t help but smile at the letter, the guy could hardly spell (let’s pretend like there were many spelling and grammar mistakes in the letter…the editor in me couldn’t actually do it BFHKEAF), let alone put words together on paper, but he tried for you, and it was beautiful. 

Maybe these feelings you had for him weren’t so bad after all. Maybe this could be your first good experience with a relationship. Baji always treated you well, despite the times he’d get moody after you’d mention dates you had gone on, but now you knew why–he liked you back.

You laugh to yourself, wiping the remainder of your dried tears. Time to find happiness with your best friend. The thought filled you with hope, making you excited for the idea of dating him. 

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

Posted: 2/14/2025

[renren-006]

Imagine: the boys comforting you about your ex

Characters: Bucky and Steve

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Bucky:

The two of you were out at a coffee shop near your college campus. Bucky insisted on meeting you in between classes so he could see you before he left for another mission with the others. You were just chatting over coffee when you heard the door jingle, looking up automatically your eyes met your ex. Even though you were with Bucky, everything flooded back in that moment. You had seen him on campus but you both never looked at each other at the same time. You always kept your eyes low and ignored him but now, you couldn't avoid it. He was the first to look away. It hurt a bit that you cant read him anymore, I couldn't even tell what he was thinking. What was more confusing was why he was there, he hated coffee so why was he here. You didn't even want to know the answer, afraid he might be there for some girl. 

Bucky noticed your shift in attitude and looked where your eyes were locked. 

“Iv got to go” you told Bucky. “Im sorry”

 Of course, Bucky knew exactly who he was without you even having to say anything. He could see your face, read yours, and know there was bad blood between the two of you. You got up and left, leaving Bucky to follow and shoot daggers at your ex. Before you got to the door, you took one last glance and found him looking back. Bucky put his hand on your shoulder. 

“Come on Doll” you let him usher you out the coffee shop. When you got outside, you could finally breath again.You both moved away from the coffee shop.  

“Hey, it's okay,” Bucky told you as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry a bit into his shoulder. It wasn't that you were crying because you still loved him, it was the emotion of knowing he saw you, looked at you, and still dared to leave you months ago after everything. “He's an asshole Doll, he doesn't deserve you” “I know,  but at one point I thought he did. James…when does this pain end for good?” You asked looking up at him. 

“At some point it will,” he told you. All you can do is keep moving forward.” You nodded your head.

Steve:

Steve had always been your rock, even before the breakup with you ex. You always relied on him to help feel better. When the breakup was still fresh he was there for you, and still months later you knew he would be still. Both of you had your traumas from relationships and would haves. Steve never made you feel bad for talking about him or the feelings you were having, it was never something you had to worry about. So when your ex showed up in a dream, and everything reminded you of him through the day you knew who to go to. 

Steve was sitting at his desk, filling out paperwork from the last mission. You felt like breaking down the moment your eyes met his, he was up in an instant.

“What happened love?” He asked, holding you close.

“After all these months it can all come rushing back in a moment all because of a stupid dream,” you told him, “I just want to be done with these feelings for good”

“I know,” Steve said, holding you as you finally let your emotions crash over you. “These things take time and no one can tell you how soon to get over it”

“But what about feeling like you never will recover from it all?”

“Then just remember that better things are coming your way and he was never someone that could give you those good things. You have to move forward regardless of the feelings that still hurt you”

“Your good at giving speeches, but steve you suck at cheering somoen up”

“I'm trying my best here love,” he told you. “He hurt you, no one that says they love you would do that”

“It still haunts me” you told him, “but im doing my best to move on”

“I know, and I'm proud of you for that” Steve whispered, “Moving on is hard and you are doing it, regardless of how you feel today, or tomorrow, it's for the future you”

[ghostlyfeelings]

july

a doe eyed baby sometimes felt a women. i was her and she was me. i was the care taker. child taking care of her mother. this isnt really something new but has been a consistent theme even as i have become older. family became a prominent subject. one i don't touch very often. all for good reasons but sometimes the universe shoves it at you all at once. i tiptoed around my house in avoidance. didn't want to rock any boats or have mine rocked. again, this is something i am familiar with. then came the phone call that will have an everlasting effect on the rest of my life. to let me know my nanny died. my mother and aunt screaming at eachother hours later was the cherry on top of an already shitty cake. i fell into a big black pit of despair. i stayed there. i felt all of the emotions until i felt absolute nothingness. spent one night getting black out drunk and throwing up. on the streets, at the bar, in the designated smoking area. got into a fight with a girl. apologized days later. gave myself two weeks of sobriety after that. to process and feel and heal. felt really proud of myself. then the life in my eyes finally started to come back. felt high on the beauty of nature. felt connected to it all. saw two dragonflies in one sitting. could feel my grandmas energy. wrote her a letter that i will never get to send. so i silently and knowingly sent it up to her in heaven. felt a lot of gratitude for the friends i have. for my pets and the universe. for the past versions of me that got me here. began to rescue bugs from drowning in the pool. began to feel and think deeply about their lives. wondered if they have other bugs waiting for them somewhere and if they don't return, do they feel their heart break too? went on my first date since the breakup. he gave me a rose. ended at the strip club three guys later. gave me a boost of confidence. went home and still wished it was my ex holding me. felt like something strange was going on in the cosmos. had a nice dose of the reality that my body is older by needing an entire day to recover from that hangover. found a lot of joy in spending time with myself. feel happy knowing i don't need a relationship to fulfill something lacking inside of me anymore. that i can fill my own cup, that i can talk myself down. held myself through it all and it felt different from when i would ask someone to hold me so that i didn't fall apart. i talk to my plants and the trees and the bugs too. just the way i do when i imagine child me, doe eyed and looking for gentleness. i commit fully to breaking this generational curse. i commit fully to not being cruel. im ready for some change and a nice thunderstorm or two. to believing in love and allowing myself to feel that i am loved too.

[victor-cartoons]

BELOVED MUTUAL COME HOME. IT'S US ROOKIE WE REALLY REALLY MISS YOU

Sorry kiddo(s).... I went out to get some milk

okay but in complete seriousness MISERABLE LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT MADE VÍCTOR BE INACTIVE ON TUMBLR AND NOW ON ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA (BRO IS NOT EVEN ACTIVE ON TWITTER) !!!

1 - In general it was easier to post on Twitter for some reason

I don't know, it's like, I feel this weird obligation here that posts have to be elaborate and have some brainpower (even if my posts don't seem to have a single brain cell in them) and somehow sometimes I got panic attacks interacting with people here, And while I'm still nervous about interacting with people on Twitter, it was somehow easier, and I made a new friend! Which was nice because he's profic and very interested in dark fiction!

2 - NSFW drawings

drawing a lot of nsfw stuff, so I couldn't post it here!!

3 - depressive episodes

Even if this year was the one in which I was able to better understand how my depression worked and finally take the first big steps to get my mind thinking about living and not assuming that death is approaching, I still have to take my time with depressive episodes in order to recover!

4 - Breakup with my ex, with whom I had a relationship of almost 4 years

Oh yes, I'm still dealing with everything. It happened on June 2nd and I'm still sorting my head out on how to feel and if I really want to talk to him again. It's too complex to summarize here, but let's just say that we tried to do what we could to save the relationship, but the last act of love was to end it.

5 - new friends

I created a discord server with two very dear friends!!! All of my Bluetank ideas that I usually uploaded here because I didn't have specific people to share them with, finally went to interested friends! It feels really good to do that, and with my recent breakup, I've been landing a lot on friends to, well, not lose my mind. Not to mention that if I didn't have all of them, I wouldn't be alive. and I appreciate them for that <3

6 - planning my future

Oh yeah, 17, that year where you finally get to plan what every adult asks you: What would you like to be when you grow up? I used to prefer being dead. I used to assume that by then I'd be long dead. But not anymore! Now I want to work hard for my future, to finish school. I know I'm ready and I want to have the strength to do it, and honestly, breaking up with my ex helped me wake up and realize that I should think fast, since my plans were with him. Now I'm giving my all to school because (if all goes well) I'm going to finish next year, and then I'll be able to go study and pay for a small place with a close friend! 2027 plan ™️

7 - school and bullying

ah yeah, bullying, how do I explain it, they do weird things like booing me or spitting on my desk before I get to school, sometimes moving my desk to just make it inconvenient for me, it's weird, I was always just ignored but now it really bothers me, but I'm coping with it, and I've already talked to the school officials. It makes me feel bad, but fuck them, we ball

8 - hiatus everywhere

Inactive everywhere!! All these negative things + finding out a friend was talking badly about me made me feel the need to isolate myself from social media a bit (I think? I'm a chronic online user, so this is very rare for me)

9 - I'm not drawing that often

And that's okay

10 - cookie run kingdom (what)

Yeah!!!! Started playing not long ago and I HAVE A NEW F/O!! a very strong one, It feels like he came to save me just when I needed him most <3

So... answering some questions aside, has the love for bluetank gone away?

NO!!! NEVER!!! IM THE BIGGEST FAN ALIVE AND I WILL LIVE FOR BLUETANK!! I CAN'T DIE IF THAT MEANS BLUETANK WILL NO LONGER BE ALIVE ON THE INTERNET!!

(not ironically I'm going to get the word bluetank tattooed on my fists... one day)

SO!!! THAT'S ALL!! Thank you so much for missing me, I miss this magical place too <3, I will try to upload every drawing I make.

[uhardite]

my no-fail guide to deal with a breakup

hey bbg, if you are reading this post bc you need it, i wish you all the strength and support to get through this. dont worry, coming from a person who has had her share of *bad* breakups, this feeling wont last very long, you will feel better soon, i love you <3

reminder: this is what i personally do, it may not work for everyone, others may have different ways to deal with it, and thats completely fine! be sure to give yourself the love and care you need while getting through this bad phase x

stage 1

cry. cry your heart out. take as long as you need to express all the negative emotions you are feeling. write down reasons why he/she was not the one for you. write down what you still feel for that person. then tear it and throw it in the trash. block that person from all your socials, resist the urge to see how they are doing, stay in your room for as long as you need. cut off your ex and their circle completely, take time for yourself, talk to people who can support and comfort you, and discourage you from being impulsive. if you feel like you wont get through this, just remember to keep pushing for one week. one week, thats all im asking from you. chances are, you will recover enough by one week to start thinking rationally about this, without bursting into tears or feeling extreme sadness. this is the hardest part, but the good thing is, it takes the least time to get through. so hold on and you will get better <3

stage 2

did you have a proper conversation with your ex while breaking up? were you both honest about the mistakes you made, things you could have done better, why your relationship didnt work out? if not, now may be a good time to have a heart-to-heart. if you had a bad breakup and dont trust your ex to be honest about themselves, you may simply ask them to be honest about specific things that affected you, then listen to their side of the story and leave. HOWEVER, do not do this if you feel unsafe around them. also, remember that the goal is to get closure, to find an explanation and move on, not to get back together. if he/she was meant for you, they would come back in your life at the right time. right now, taking some time for yourself and reflecting is more important at the present. acknowledge that you have experienced something new, accept all that you can learn from it, and move ahead. now is the time to get into new hobbies, routines, making new friends, and keeping yourself busy. stop listening to sad music, work on pending assignments, projects, study for any upcoming exams in advance, start working out, do something silly each day that makes you happy, keep going

stage 3

at this stage, you will rarely be thinking of your ex, you will be occupied by new thoughts and feelings and experiences, and a lot more comfortable by now. dont be too troubled if memories come flooding back, they are just passing feelings, they dont signify anything. you might also feel lonely around this time, or wish to date again, and although i personally dont like to date until i have moved on completely, it's perfectly fine to date someone as a rebound. however, keep in mind that dating should not cause you drama, and you should be clear about committment and feelings with the other person. dating someone as your rebound shouldnt hurt them, nor you. if you want to date to show your ex that you can do better than them, stop right there. this isnt about getting their attention, this is about you moving on

stage 4

we have reached the final stage! now is the time to strengthen your current relationships, friendships, stay consistent with your progress, take time to deeply reflect, and keep growing. relationships can be learning experiences when you treat them like one, where you learn about yourself as well as about other people. having the right mindset will help you in your future relationships as well. im proud of you and you've got this xx

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

what's Talaney-Anne's relationship/dynamic with the rest of the cast, other than Billy?? (Nancy, Steve, Max, Joyce, etc.)

OoooO! Gonna write put as much as I can and how much I read on the characters with how much of the series of watched so far! [NOTE: at this point I've only seen clips of later seasons and only watched Season 1 episodes 1-3 FULLY through, so Talaney and her relationships with characters might change once I've finished enough of the series!] This is a long one so WOOP

I'll just say with characters like Karen, Claudia, Sue, are on good terms with Talaney since she's been babysitting Mike, Lucas, and Dustin, when they were quite little and she was in junior high/late elementary. She does of course get a bit more familiar and closer to Joyce considering Talaney gets involved with the whole Upside-Down shenanigans- and fun fact! She never really babysat Will often when she was younger due to the Byers house being very hostile during Joyce and Lonnie's relationship. Who she babysits the most and sometimes still does is Dustin! Of course he isn't much of a fan.

Talaney knew Steve in Junior High vaguely- and it's what comes up when she talks to him after her bike had gotten a flat on her way back home from Cheer practice and Steve offered her a ride. They talk a bit and catch up as he takes her back home, and from then on its when their friendship starts to grow and she is added to the team!

That's when I feel Talaney would start becoming a bigger character in the series as season two starts - and also begin her love triangle with Billy and Steve. [Im thinking maybe Billy watches as she gets into Steve's car at school and the challenge is on..👀] They're relationship starts off pretty strong, both very protective and looking out for the kids and the danger they all get themselves into, and she's always helping him out with girls or advice, and it's vice versa as some confusing feelings start to bubble up in between their relationship. I'm thinking around late season three or four, the feelings between the two fizzle back into a strong friendship, knowing Talaney is still recovering from Billy's breakup/death and Steve still hung up on Nance, Talaney-Anne knew that the two of them together when they were still so vulnerable and still trying to pick up their broken pieces was a recipe for disaster, even if she truly did care for and love Steve.

Nancy and her relationship started of sort of awkward- they never hated each other for a while there, but I wouldn't say that they didn't dislike one another either. After confrontations and such at Tina's Halloween party, Nancy and Talaney sort of... Kept their distance, respected boundaries and stuff in the group, but of course, when you got to fight off a bunch of crazy alien dogs and tentacles, the universe sort of... Forces you to bond. There on much better terms, and the two can be a total kickass team blowing up demogorgan faces with shotguns.

The same goes for Johnothan! Again, knew him very vaguely due to Will, but Talaney also knows him cause she use to take some cookies and such that her grandmother made to the Byers and Johnathan would answer the door. They'd share some small awkward talk for a minute before she'd head back home. He also noticed how he'd come home to a few wrapped up slices of cake or tray of cookies on the doorstep after Will had gone missing, with that same signature pink bow wrapped up on top. He remembered there'd always be enough to split it evenly into three servings..

Robin and Talaney bond just how Talaney did with Steve- girl advice. Talaney was very subtle and did her best to sound as if she was dropping simple conversation or gossip, when she was really more giving some hints or offering a little something something for Robin to take note of. She was less secretive about the information and gossip when Robin will happily trade her for it with some free ice cream and scoops ahoy when Talaney comes by for her cravings. She'd die for the strawberry cheesecake and chocolate fudge flavors okay?

Hopper knows Talaney mostly for the expense of her brothers and there trouble. Smashing mailboxes, vandalism... Accidentally chasing their cow and goats into mainstreet.... Yea. But she's grown to know him well because of it! And since her older sister is a Forest Ranger, she's acquainted very well. He's a good older figure to look up to, given Talaney doesn't have her father around in her life. Talaney has to give up/quit babysitting due to some events later on planned for her in the seasons, and Hopper offers her a job as a receptionist for the department- knowing she needs the money and support.

And since this is getting pretty long already, I'm going to make a second post soon with Talaney and her relationship to the kids of the series! [Max, Dustin, El, Mike, Lucas, Will, Erica.]

[aaron-is-comatose]

This is a long post about me processing my feelings as of late so read with caution

I kind of feel like im starting to recover from my breakup ? Maybe it's too soon to say because it's basically been 3 days . Which is kinda wild for a relationship that was 3 years long

Ive never really been through a kind of break up like this before and i don't exactly know its phases

Sometimes i feel guilty for feeling fine, like im not as sad as i should be, but then other times im at work and i feel like im on the verge of sobbing

I wish i had the forsight to know what it ill be like in the future, if I'll ever get to talk to them again or if it would be worth getting over them if not

I guess i wish our last conversation wasn't a sad good bye . It doesn't feel right, like the way we came in should be a similar way we go out

But nothing has to be so definite right now . They left me a line of communication if i ever want to come back, whenever i feel like it, whether it's a month from now, or a year from now or etc, so technically it's not exactly over

I guess i don't really know where I'm going with this, I'm still trying to make sense of my emotions now that I'm kind of feeling fine right now

Maybe I'll update this later

[imaginespazzi]

Hi hi hi!

Reporting live and procrastinating responsibilities :). So heres my rundown, pretty much matchy matchy w yours, naturally: Generally the video vibes almost 💯 fit with the allegations 🙃. Please bear w the rambling thoughts in no particular order. Im not sure how one could possibly cohesively recap ALL THAT lol. Ok it blows my mind how much they personally had to catch up on w one another! God damn babes, you havent talked much if at all in nearly a month. Again it screams that there was more of a relationship (ending poorly).. Even friends moving apart prob wouldve had more contact over that time. Sometimes I wonder how they dont realize what they reveal by what they leave ~unsaid/not explained! Though G’s “really bad breakup” comment felt weighted given their situation. To me much of the injury discussion came across as carry over from the In The Mirror. With G making a point to say nice things (good memories of playing together;tearing up when Liz got hurt; not being wholly herself as a player w/out Kitley;the frustration at team reaction after the game following the injury; belief that Liz will recover/be drafted etc.). And G’s words still feel to me like a way of her dealing with some guilt which she cant quite yet express or process. Especially considering her adding stuff about being w the Kitley fam lately and helping move Liz’s stuff ha. If a person ever questioned something going down between L&G, I’ll say alarm bells went off when L described her night following the injury and staying over w Cayla. In such a low moment, poor girlie really couldnt manage being at her own place thats shared w one of her closest pals. Ooof. However, on the whole, they sounded more comfortable at times than I expected. In fact the convo sometimes got surprisingly open and loose - gals dont tell me that we had a bit of liquid courage before recording. ;) And it did stand out to me that L asked the “fans” on multiple occasions to just be decent and grateful for what they had + be understanding of decision making under the situation, but stopped short of telling people to leave G alone (which, given everything we’re led to believe, fair play hun). My big takeaway was that they seem to be taking this time of big adjustment as also a new beginning to possibly recover a friendship. Clearly theres still issues to work thru, but perhaps theyve reached a more settled/amicable place? Or at least were just able to deal w each other long enough to provide us all w a semi closure pod 😐. But heres hoping for more future content, as they hinted at! Oh and as someone who works w/in college athletics, I was very sympathetic to their comments throughout re change. Its a crazy industry, stuff happens in the blink of an eye and you do just have to deal with that ish. The harsh reality of the current state of things is that one rarely gets a neat, happy closure.

Happy Sunday to you bestie, hope its fantastic! -☕️

Reporting live and procrastinating is so real, like me asf fr fr.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Like they seemed so out of the loop when it came to each other's life and that's just so weird to me? I mean I get it could just be regular friends drifting but that wasn't the ~vibe~ at all to me and maybe again it's the allegations bias but it was just very much giving exes.

Hardcore agree with the Georgia stuff because I thought some of what she was saying felt a bit like an overcompensation, an apology of sorts to make up in a way for anything else that *might* have happened. Honestly Georgia being so nice, no shade, doesn't really fit the dynamic from before where sometimes Georgia's snark was just mean to me really.

Every new bit of info/content, I just continue to feel terrible for Liz. And I think her staying at Cayla's really gave away the depth of how much has happened between her and Georgia. And again yeah it could be a friend breakup but it just feel a little too serious for that.

Obviously I don't know a timeline, if there even is one, but this podcast gave me the vibes that if they were together, it's actually been a decent while since they broke up and are now in a place where they can co-exist in an amicable manner. I don't know if we'll ever get another podcast or if they'll actually be able to be in a genuine friendship again but I think they're in a good enough place and I do love that for them.

[wemdycarr]

nine people you would like to know better (tagged by @sophiedevreaux, thank u<3)

3 ships: currently: i don't really do shipping... forever loving olivia x altliv (did yall call them O2??) though :-)

first ever ship: honestly idk bc i rarely care enough about a couple to ship them.. i prefer a good breakup/dramatic ending over a happily ever after sjdfks i dont care for the actual romance part of it that much i just love studying a dynamic and the intentions and motivations of the people involved and how the relationship affects them... 😬

last song: sittimmm sittim is the opposite of standimmmm sittim is the opposite of running aroumd 🕺🎶

last movie: i think i watched before i go to sleep for mr colin firth ??

currently reading: maren uthaug – 11%!

currently watching: still rewatching the newsreader for giffing. lowkey watching some fringe though to cope with recovering from the newsreader 🤪✌️

currently consuming: pepsi max <3

currently craving: i forgot to buy a lil snack from the store earlier so im having ragrets.. would love something crispy rn 😶

tagging: @butchershauna @daantaat @elialys @helennorvilles @dalegerry @oliviassunrise @chiefofmilfs @this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it @surrealistwaltz

[dumbbitchfrommars]

the post breakup (unofficial breakup) clarity is so real. im so embarrassed that i felt that way for him. he was definitely not worth all that. man couldnt even make me cum. why do i work so hard to romanticise men who so clearly dont deserve me? he couldnt be more unworthy. and yet i kept giving him chance after chance. and he fumbled every fucking time. what a loser.

i think im off men now. like genuinely at this point, whatever public backlash or internalised shame i have about being with a woman is worth more than the feeling of shame and regret i have for being with men that dont deserve me. its literally so embarrassing. the fact ive done it SO MANY TIMES NOW. multiple low caliber men have had the opportunity and the privilege to say they have been with me, have had a chance with me, to have access to my body and my time and my energy. and they have been so disappointing. every. single. time. genuinely every one.

im done.

i need to be single or with a woman now. i have one who wants me and has been so clear about it... and weve had so many little moments together too. its perfect and sweet and innocent and magical, but im still not quite ready. i need to be alone. i need to recover from this embarrassing situation. also, i need to actually end things with him - like tell him that its over. cause its been over for a week now. but he has no fucking clue, lol. i can finally cut him off and make space for new energy. what a waste of my time. it was a shortlived relationship, no doubt, and he made sure of it. but still that short time was wasted stressing out over him. its a good thing it coincided with me wasting my time at this shitty job that im also about to leave. i love when things end and i can make space for better. this was just a lot sooner than id anticipated.

i may be needing some space from my sister during this time too. considering how much she tried to convince me out of both of these decisions for so long - at least it gave me the chance to be completely 100% certain in my own decision. still... why did you push me so much like that?

[diabolical-mangoes]

just one more week of finals and it's back to regular posting and screaming about robots!

...that is, if this flu doesn't kick my butt x'D

[kitsuvil]

— be quiet and drive. [kazuha x gn!reader]

warnings/notes; modern au, angst, NO HAPPY ENDING, breakup angst, lots of arguing, kazuha never actually recovered from his familyless trauma, cursing, im so sorry in advance, listen to glimpse of us by joji after this and imagine yn or zuha expericing it in a new relationship after their breakup

summary; kazuha was on thin ice and he broke it, oops. aka you guys got into an argument and broke up and you drove him home

words; 1k

“I don’t think I can love you anymore like this,” He mutters the words underneath his breath, but every part of my body picks up on it. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to feel right now. Hurt? Forgiveness? Anger?

‘Do you really mean it?” I drop the car keys.

“No– I mean, I wish I didn’t? You know this, [name]. I love you so much. But neither of us can handle this.”

“Kaedehara Kazuha. No. Why did you think it was a good idea to pull this shit?”

“I never said it was a good idea.”

“So why did you do it?”

“I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

“Stay sorry, there’s no forgiving this. I can’t accept your apology.”

No matter what emotions course through me right now, I can’t make any logical decisions. No matter the feelings Kazuha’s face clearly carries. The widened eyes that have those all too well-known salty tears forming on them, his mouth that’s still left slightly ajar as he was ready to say his next words of regret. None of those words would mean anything, no matter how flowery he could make them.

“Don’t even think about sucking up to me. No flowers at my doorstep tomorrow morning as if nothing happened, alright?”

“Does this really have to be it?”

“You caused it, Kazuha. Who in their right mind would get drunk and rip every single of their lover’s childhood photos and proceed to cry about how alone and unloved they feel, despite the person right next to them and suddenly try to break up with them? I’ve always been there for you, cried with you for your forgotten family, even took you into my own family with so much trust and love, but you do this in response. You’re jealous, so disgustingly jealous.”

“I was drunk, I didn’t mean any of it.”

“YES YOU DID,” The burning sensation in my throat wells up until the hot tear drops fall down my cheeks. Never did I think I’d be yelling at the love of my life like this. It’s not even that deep, but the cracks in my heart from caring for him so much just to get this in response, just for him to pretend like I’ve never been there for him? Those cracks mean so much more to me than the shared memories we’ve created.

I gave him my own family so that he didn’t deal with the trauma of all of his relatives being passed. I gave him everything, out of compassion and sympathy. And he tossed it to the dirt and decided to rip up my memories. That’s not something I could deal with, not right now.

The look he shared with me when I came home from working for the two of us today is engraved in every part of my brain, no matter how much I wish I could pull it out. It was hopeless and cold, nothing like the Kazuha I started dating a year ago. Nothing like the Kazuha who looked cheerful and excited to explore the world with me. It scared me, the loneliness I didn’t know he was capable of, even if it was momentary. And I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to recover from it. Because if he can say that he doesn’t think he loves me anymore the way he did a year ago, there’s no way I can reciprocate the same feeling. There’s still a knot on my heart, one that he created, and one that I’d have to untie myself if he leaves.

“Take me to Heizou’s, I give up. You won’t hear me out.”

“I was already planning on it. Pack your shit, I’ll be in the car.”

I leave, wanting to be anywhere but near him. Just the sight of him makes me want to start crumbling into bits and pieces nonstop. I can’t leave him like this. But at the same time, it’s what I feel the need to do. I couldn’t pretend like nothing happened. Clearly he wants to break up with me and if he’s going to continue with actions like this, there’s no point in putting in anymore work.

But his hair. And his beautiful face. His hands that seem as if they’re chiseled by some divine being. His smile that I cherish so dearly. I’ll never get to wake up in the morning with his comfort again, I’ll never get to brush my fingers through the red and white colors of his hair. I’ll never get to hold onto those fingers, or kiss that face ever again. And oh man, it hurts.

“I’ll put my stuff in the back,” he opens the door and notifies me before throwing his things onto the seats behind me.

“I tried hard, I really did,” Kazuha whispers, almost as if he’s trying to convince himself more than me.

“Be quiet and let me fucking drive, Kazuha. I don’t care,” I start up the engine and drive away from my home, not bothering to turn on the radio. After a few sniffles and eye-rubbing from Kazuha, everything goes completely silent.

I peek over to the right to check on him, seeing him calm and asleep. If only I could look that calm right now. The sound of his slow breathing makes me more peaceful, but I realize quickly that I have to take a hand off the wheel to wipe a tear that ran down my face.

I see Heizou’s apartment building not very far away, nudging Kazuha for a second to wake him up as I pull into the parking lot.

“Wake up, Zuha. Please. We’re here.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, out you go.”

“Right… I guess I’ll be seeing you– Or not. My bad," Kazuha gets out and takes his things from the back seats and walks away into the building, disappearing into the distance.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you? What is that? Fuck. He’s rubbing salt into the wound. He knows I still love him,” I turn on the car again and head to the first place that comes into mind. The swings at the park by the cliff. The place where we met.

I don’t think there will be anyone who could fill the crater in my heart in the future. I wasn’t ready for this.

a/n; just writing this hurt so bad idk why i thought that was a good decision but i hope u guys like it... i will prob proof read it later

[haikyuuphilia]

hi !! ive only recently come across your writing but im so in love with it !!! ur works are so good <3 so i was wondering if you could do an angsty piece (bc im an angsty piece of shit 😼) about how the hq boys (u can choose who!) would break up/react to a break up with their s/o? thank you sm !! <33

hi thank you!!! and ofc i can <3 i wrote more than intended because i can’t resist a happy ending (but you can ignore latter half if you don’t want them to get back together!)

he and his s/o break up ♥︎

⟶  KAGEYAMA is the one to break up with you. he mistakes the simplicity and comfort of the relationship you two have as a situation that doesn’t bring you optimal happiness, and he’s afraid you two are holding each other back in your careers or other interests. the last thing he wants is for your life to be worse off because he wants you to himself, so he’d cut things off.

he pretends to be fine on the outside, but he’s torn up about it and can’t get your reaction to his words out of his head. friends and teammates can tell that something’s very off about kageyama, and all the progress he’d made being less withdrawn and unhappy is gone. after a few days, he reaches for his phone and calls you, determined to make things right.

⟶  SUGA is the one who gets broken up with. your relationship seems to have lost the spark that it came with when you two were in the honeymoon phase, and now things feel bleak and pointless. you feel like it’s better for both of you to split up, so it’s a mutual and amicable relationship even though you both still have lingering feelings.

since it was mutual, suga feels like he doesn’t have the right to feel as sad as he does. he’ll cry that night when the breakup really starts to set in, and it takes everything in him not to call you and ask to get back together right then and there. eventually, he comes to terms with the breakup being something you wanted, but he knows that if your mind ever changes, he’ll do everything he can to be with you again. 

⟶  IWAIZUMI breaks up with you. it’s not because he no longer has feelings for you – he’s just as in love as he was when you first began dating – but because he thinks it’s for the better if you two aren’t together anymore. whether it’s due to a job offer that’s cropped up for one of you, a change in circumstances, or because he thinks you’d be better off with someone else, he’s the one to instigate the split, but it’s a painful one.

he’s devastated for weeks, even months, afterwards. everything reminds him of you, from the songs that play on the radio to that hoodie of his you always like to wear when you came over. he can’t handle having you constantly on his mind but being unable to actually see you. after a few months, once he’s figured out that you’re not seeing anyone, he’ll set aside his pride and try to convince you to give him a second chance.

⟶  KUROO is the one to get broken up with. he’s fine with letting the relationship drag on, even if the initial flame is flickering out. he’ll argue with you when you try to break things off even if you’re being reasonable. just this once, he lets his emotions get the better of him, and seeing you close the door and leave, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt so crushed.

he seems to recover from the breakup surprisingly quickly, but it’s actually just him plotting to somehow get you back. it doesn’t matter to him how long it takes; if you still have even an inkling of love towards him, he’ll do whatever he can to be able to date you again. 

[panickingatthepartyromance]

that emo boy saga from 2020

not that anyone cares but the guy i kept blogging about when i was like 14 was not a healthy person for me to stay with so we broke up around 5 months into our relationship in a very messy breakup. nowadays we are still friends and can recognize both of our faults and have also both apologized to one another for the immaturity that we both clearly displayed in the relationship.  now here’s a GOOD update;  i’m in a healthy relationship of nearly 8 months with another alt person (who would expect any less from me anyways). they’re my entire world and i don’t think i’d know what to do without them. i adore them with my whole heart and would die for them, and not in the edgy rawrxD way, like i’d actually die for them. 

other updates!  i chopped my scene fringe off in august of 2020 and again in november of 2020. june of 2021 i had it longer again but it was more uniform length and recovering from the NIGHTMARE that was my scene fringe....and then about a month ago i cut my fringe back into it again :) im no longer allowed to dye my hair so it resides this weird half blonde half my natural color state until i’m told otherwise. i really would like to dye it cherry red again but last time i did that it turned hot pink.