#in the egos hate is taking over on a visual and physical level. i just think this guy is pretty cool

[sunshades]

and in heath's base ego his face is uncovered but you know what IS on that side? THE GRAVE AND BODYSACK 🧐 (deranged)

GOD TRUE ANON WE ARE COOKING U AND ME DERANGED... another thought:

right arm is always the Fucked Up One. for bodysack only the right is bloodied, in telepole and aedd it's electrified... the right is where he wears his ring too. now, my form empties doesn't follow the trend but...

🤔... idk. thinks and thinks.

[randomshenaniganery]

If I somehow got into Obey me! Shall We Date part 2

Me and Levi while videoing Solomon: I wanna be the very best like no one ever was, to catch them is my real test to train them is my caUSe. My whole life was meant for this gonna show the wORLLD!!

M: Horny bastard literally and figuratively

M: So like for science do you have complete control over that tail? The fandom deems this as important knowledge

M: BARBATOS PLEASE COSPLAY AS SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS-yeah I know I call you him a lot but like PLEASE

M: Kuya from Ayakashi Romance Reborn is just what happens if you smush Beel and Belphie into one person

M: Beel... Look at your wings... They’re tiny... If you can actually fly I will single handedly try to murder God.

M: I don’t understand why you’re mad with all these pregnant jokes, I MEAN YOU GUYS TOLD ME THIS INFORMATION and think that I won’t use it????

M: Heaven is pretty controversial not gonna lie

M: Luke you are a baby not just cause your smol but because you think like a baby

M: HEY remember what I said about racism? Knock it off

M: Why do you like me? Like honestly just WHy

M: LMAo who thought that leaving me alive was a good idea

M: Levi I blame you for making me say LMAo outloud I used to only say lol or IDK 

M: I do have a least favorite brother but I’m not telling who because it would cause the same problems saying who my favorite brother is 

M: YOU FAKE MOTHERFUCKERs 

M: Sometimes I think I’m more of a demon than you guys are

M: I made a meme I think I’m going to die after this but I’m going to be very proud about dying and then I’ll see you later cause bitches know I’m going to end up in hell anyway

M: Is this real life? or is this fantasy? 

Me and Levi still videoing Solomon but now we’re all dancing and singing: Gotta catch’em all-gotta catch’em ALL POKEMON 

M: Satan for confirmation are you or are you not a furry? wait no put that knife down-

M: Beel please be my model for this drawing I have thanksiloveyoubye

M: Beel is definitely in my top three faves list you just have to figure out WHERe he is in that list

M: Levi I fucking told you to stop GATEKEEPing

M: What the fuck are you listening to Lucifer

M: I legit can’t listen to 40% of the songs I have in my playlist because they mention demons and I’m too embarrassed to listen to them now

M: Levi please let me sleep in your tub it honest to God looks so comfy-stop making faces when I mention God you KNOW that I’m atheist

M: Asmo hi please do my nails idk self care who dat bitch

M: ugh I have feelings and I HATE It

M: Am I a kuudere or a tsundere? I can’t tell but if it’s the latter I’m going to commit sui-wait no I’ll still end up in hell FUCK

M: I would never kiss anyone oh you’ll pay me? YOu never said where bitch-

M: I’m not greedy I’m just broke

M: See mammon gets it

M: Levi if you pay me I will draw Henry for you

M: Oh my god I’m henry 

M: Diavolo please let me adopt the giant snake in your labyrinth

M: Solomon I’m going to carefully watch you while you cook so that I can understand on what level can you fuck up food so bad

M: OH MY GOD ITS ALIVE

M: If I ate that apple I’m going to kill my clone because there can only be one

M: I really think that I’m more demon than you guys are 

M: Mass murder isn’t wrong if it’s in the name of God says the bible-stop it Luke I’m making a joke

M: Simeon tell me on what level of friendship do I get to call Lucifer Lucy

M: Satan there is literally no way for me to give you a new nickname

M: the angrier you get the more like Lucifer you sound so-HEY DON”T FLIP THE TABLE MY ONION RINGS

M: Belphie if you want humanity to die just make them all so lazy no one will ever get up 

M: I swear to God that I will not wake up the demon king-okay fine mentioning God’s name doesn’t actually make it more sincere fucking-

M: if any of you look at my reddit history its either I die or you die

M: Bleach is a very powerful weapon

M: Who the fuck designed your demon clothes

M: God is kinky confirmed

M: I want humans to know the existance of demons but I also don’t want Diavolo to be exposed to the horny ones-no I did not mean that literally

M: I know he’s supposed to be the Prince of Hell but I can’t stop visualizing him as a cuddly large demon teddy bear

M: I’m so mad that there aren’t that many stray cats in devildom What’s the fuck point

M: Barbatos if I give you a recipe will you finally answer that question about being a sadist or a masochist? No? goddamit

M: I was going to say goddamn you but clearly he already has

M: I’m going to contact a family therapist

M: Beel please carry me I want to feel tall for once

M: My neck hurts from looking at all of you

M: Belphie move over or I will crush you that’s my sleeping spot-yeah I know that’s Beel’s lap THAT’s THE WHOLE POINT

M: I am constantly in a state of surppressed rage so how do I feel satan?

M: I can’t take you seriously your name is Satan

M: heh-no I do not look like Barbatos shut the fuck up

M: I totally did not draw Lucifer in a comprimising position and sold it online 

M: Hi mammon it’s pretty high up huh?

M: Beel I won’t tell anyone if you share that pizza with me

M: it’s not bribery if its not money-that doesn’t work? fuck

M: My type is literally anyone who isn’t human so ya know sorry solomon

M: god made demons and decided that evil was an aesthetic

M: I know I sang and Satan will tear you limb from limb but I swear I just forgot about the lyrics and not that I actually think nah no I think you’ll actually do that I’m not apologizing for shit

M: I’m so nice, I’m a family therapist for free. You motherfuckers better fucking pay me

M: technically I can call the cops any time since you did kidnap me 

M: Oh my god the dads are coming * after seeing lucifer and diavolo walk up *

M: Diavolo don’t avoid the question who. is. the. top??? 

M: Levi I know you know what Archive of our Own is don’t lie to me

M: Every time I see Cerberus I have the urge to climb the highest thing in the vacinity

M: I love Hades but saying that here would just incriminate me and I don’t want to boost Lucifer’s ego

M: Lucifer as an angel I feel like he would be even more obnoxious what? nO put that ROPE DOWN NO KINKY TODAY-

M: * first time seeing asmo* are you gay or european? 

M: My life is constantly referencing memes

M: Solomon’s theme song is pokemon we’ve already decided on that

M: CREEPER AW MAN-

M: I don’t want you guys to sing because I will physically combust 

[mrsgreenworld]

Sen Çal Kapımı Episode 16 aka Mistrust Is In the Air

Last week brought us another light and funny but, unfortunately, also a filler episode. Actually, for me, it turned out to be one of the most conflicting ones. I absolutely loved it while I was watching it live. I guess it's because the Haunting of Bly Manor / the Haunting of Hill House pulled out all of my insides and then ripped them to shreds so watching SCK was such a reprieve. This episode was even funnier and lighter than episode 15 which still had some lingering angst. I can declare episode 16 almost completely angst-free.

After having rewatched the episode with the subs I've got a feeling that the writers are trying to mess with some of my favourite characters and dynamics. I don't appreciate it. Still love the show, the cast, the characters. Just didn't enjoy certain writing decisions in this episode. Let's get down to it.

Now I'm going to break my habit and start with the one thing I hated:

❌☣️❌ Eda and Ceren: what the hell was that scene in the office when Eda spotted Ceren and Ferit talking and then tried to... do what exactly? warn Ceren? give some constructive relationship advice? support her?🤔

the first and the main problem I had with the scene was the energy - I don't know what caused it but it lacked the love and warmth that had always been there between all the girls; no matter what happened - even in that shitty situation with Kaan and when Ceren was the first to find out about the contract or even when Fifi and Melo finally learned about it - there was true girl power, they didn't allow anything or anyone mess up their friendship, they supported each other, tried not to judge and be understanding; so for me to see Eda so cold and kinda detached towards Ceren was a shock; maybe it would have been ok in a conversation with Pırıl or Selin since they're not friends but given that Eda was talking to one of her closest friends the way she spoke with Ceren was just wrong; moreover, Eda came off downright condescending; that's why Ceren's reaction was understandable in a way; I liked how she called Eda out on her lack of support;

if you think that your friend is making a huge mistake it's ok to show concern, it's ok to even say "hey, what the hell are you doing?" but you have to do this with love, you have to make sure that your friend knows - even if they mess up you will be there not with "I told you so" but with silent support; I didn't see that kind of love from Eda;

and while (as I have already mentioned) I partially understand and support Ceren's reaction I think it was a bit too aggressive;

and the way they parted with *itch faces just left a horrible aftertaste in my mouth 🤢 - THE *UCK THE WRITERS ARE DOING MESSING UP WITH MY GANG LIKE THAT???

The things I didn't like / was annoyed with:

❎ Selin: what's her problem with Ceren? have I missed something and Ceren stole her man?👀🤔 nope, don't recall anything like that happening;

Selin's channelling the kind of behaviour I really hate - she didn't give a shit about Ferit when they were together, was ready to dump him at the snap of Serkan's fingers and now when they're not together she's behaving as if Ferit has no right to even as much as talk to another woman; what's even more infuriating is that it's not jealousy because it would require having some sort of feelings and there are none on Selin's side; which brings us back to her ego and unbelievably self-centred persona;

her mistrust in Ceren as a lawyer also seems to stem from a personal dislike and Ceren's interactions with Ferit (at least it looks like that to me);

all in all this tension between Selin and Ceren is messing with the female dynamics because it's brought something the writers managed to avoid in the past - women being petty and bitchy towards each other;

❎ Efe: man, if he was just shady in the past, in this episode he was freaking snaky 🐍���;

I understand that Serkan's attitude is unpleasant to say the least and there were moments when he was downright rude but in his case it's not being rude for the sake of rudeness; I think Serkan has excellent gut feeling; he didn't trust Efe even for a second from the very first meeting and his rudeness stems from this mistrust; Serkan is not a type of a person who's going to pretend to like someone for the sake of appearances, hypocrisy is not in his nature (which is one of the things I admire about our precious Scanner 😍❤️);

but back to Efe - yes, Serkan's not making it easy for him but he was like that from the very beginning and Efe seemed so nice, so friendly, so open to this partnership; all smiles and down-to-earth attitude; so what happened to his face in this episode? Serkan spat into his coffee?🙈😆🤣

I mean, really, have I imagined it or there was barely contained irritation and something even darker on his face?👀🤔 there was a small moment when he was moving a chair with a little bit more force than necessary 😬

I also don't like him getting so close to Eda; I still don't see anything romantic there but rather his malicious forethought is becoming more obvious;

also - was I the only one to think that a black rose he talked about with Eda was symbolic? here's what I have found about black roses:

"In the language of flowers, roses have many different meanings, with black roses specifically symbolizing ideas such as hatred, death, and despair"👀😳😱

ok, I am not calling him a Horseman of the Apocalypse quite yet but damn, he's gonna bring chaos, I am sure 😱😳😬

❎ Engin and Serkan: okay, these two dummies deserve the titles of the worst boyfriend and male friend respectively🤦

honestly, Engin forgetting about Pırıl's birthday shows him as careless and superficial; a man who claims to have been in love with Pırıl for years and who's also been friends with her for so long would have remembered such a small fact unless he's got a serious head trauma🧠🔨

as for Serkan, a character whose certain qualities have been constructed with remarkable consistency, forgetting about Pırıl's birthday is just ridiculous, unbelievable and completely OOC; sorry but that's just lazy writing🤷

it could have been avoided with just one line: "Yeah, it's Pırıl's birthday. I had Leyla send her flowers in the morning" - BOOM! that's it!

❎ Edser: yeah, I know, it's unprecedented for my babes to make it into this section 😬 but there were certain things I didn't quite enjoy;

1 - while the office scene where Serkan asked Eda whether or not she had accepted Efe's offer was humourous and funny it was also painfully immature; that's a conversation between two pre-schoolers not a conversation between two adults;

2 - Eda's conversation with Leyla where Eda asked about Selin; I smelled some jealousy and, honestly, I think it was completely out of nowhere; and Serkan's reactions to them talking also seemed kinda weird because he normally looks like that when Efe is around Eda; jealous of Leyla now?👀😆🙈

3 - karaoke bar scenes; Serkan's appearance was also kinda out of nowhere; since he was adamant about not going it would have been nice to see what had changed his mind; didn't like him telling Eda something along the lines of "we're broken up but I don't want to see you with Efe" - it's the type of "I wanna eat a cake and have it too" attitude that I cannot stand; I understand that it's hard for Serkan but he's made a decision, he's made this bed so to speak, now he has to sleep in it; moreover, discussing this with a clearly tipsy Eda - not a very smart idea;

a dance scene - while romantic and all it lacked logic and seemed a little bit like Serkan was taking advantage of the situation;

4 - a visual side of the flashbacks; they looked weird, as if I was looking through dim glass;

And finally the things I liked😏:

☑️ Edser: while immature and all I cannot deny that their kindergarten level fights are cute; it's better than them being petty, angry and cruel towards each other;

the beginning of the episode was just GOLD, with disoriented and doped up Eda and her calling Serkan "Aşkım" and his reaction like WTF?👀😳 and how when she said something nice he was like "ok, I should write that down and then remind you of this" - he's such a little shit😏😆;

there was also a moment when Eda cupped his cheek and I swear I saw Serkan melt, he was a breath away from nuzzling into Eda's palm and purring😹😻

them being in that house broken up, trying to maintain distance, avoiding physical contact - such contrast with the flashbacks where they couldn't keep their hands to themselves, where they were practically glued to each other;

I loved how the flashbacks were shown through Eda and Serkan's eyes - wherever they looked they saw ghosts of those happy moments;

the scene where they tried to talk and Eda asked Serkan to tell about a day he hurt someone, then a day he was hurting, then a day he was the happiest - so painful to see both of them clearly hurting; while Eda was openly crying, Serkan's eyes were red-rimmed and I swear I thought he was going to start crying too; it's so freaking hard for him to see Eda in pain 😭💔

another heartbreaking moment - a parallel scene when they both talked about their rings; I loved how they used the same, word-for-word reasoning for not taking their rings off; must be the soulmate thing😏😊💞

Serkan's inability to say no to Eda even when they're broken up is my gem; if one day they have a daughter her and Eda will have Serkan completely wrapped around their fingers😂😆🙈

in that last scene when Eda was leaving after her meeting with Aydan, when Serkan asked "Did my mother upset you?" - oh boy, could you maybe be less obvious? your love and concern are right there, on your forehead 🙈😆

☑️ Leyla and Erdem: I dunno I kinda ship them now🚢❤️ 🙈😂

honestly I am so over Erdem's obsession with Fifi; him and Leyla, on the other hand, look really cute together, both a bit cray-cray 🤪

the scene with them hangover in the office, wearing dark glasses - cracked me up; also has anyone noticed Erdem's cup with "Ciao" on it? a nice nod to Italy and maybe a bit of foreshadowing? Italy is not going anywhere; I feel like we're going to get the freaking time jump where Eda leaves to go to Italy 👀😬

loved the "I hate you / Our feelings are mutual" parallel with Edser

☑️ Aydan: this lady has a long way to go until she is in my good graces but I really liked that the writers decided to move her storyline forward;

I think lots of her unlikeable qualities stem from her traumatic experiences and in order to make her character grow and develop those experiences need to be addressed so I am all for this therapy thing; I just hope they are going to continue showing us the progress instead of just turning this into a one-time thing;

I actually liked that she reached out to Eda and asked her for help; while it might seem selfish I think it was clear that Aydan hesitated before calling Eda, she didn't want to trouble her, was embarrassed to ask for such a huge favour - that shows a sort of humility I hadn't detected in Aydan before;

☑️ overall mood and humour + I freaking loved that they addressed Serkan's OCD or maybe it's not really OCD, just a symmetry tick 🙈😆😂 we had snippets of it in other episodes and I have seen people wonder if that's Kerem's acting choice or something he himself does; now it's an official canonical part of Serkan's personality 😁🥳

And... that's pretty much it! Yay!

[nbhd-daily]

LILY PATTERSON: Where the fuck is Chip Chrome? I noticed you deactivated your Instagram.

JESSE RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] I like that you turned the “who” to “where.”

PATTERSON: Obviously, there’s one glaring reference for an alien rock star alter ego—

RUTHERFORD: Wait, wait, wait, who though?

PATTERSON: … Ziggy Stardust?

RUTHERFORD: I’m just joking.

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Oh my god, I was like, “Did I say that clearly?” But yeah, you’re channeling an icon. Tell me about bringing Chip to life.

RUTHERFORD: I’ve had the idea for Chip for about two and a half years.

PATTERSON: So it’s been baking.

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, I had the name, the whole shit. Obviously, Bowie is a giant reference… Ugh, I hate that word. A giant inspiration. It’s funny; when I was a kid, people would tell me about him, but I wasn’t really interested. I was gravitating toward hip-hop or modern pop. First, I got really into interviews and just watched the man talk. Then the music. I’ve always been an in-between kind of fella. I’m not quite this, I’m not quite that. I’m not super masc, I’m not super feminine … I’m kind of a confused person, to be honest with you. Bowie has helped me route. Like, here you go, this is a blueprint, an architecture. Not to say I sound like him at all.

PATTERSON: You deployed @chipchrome on Instagram, a platform that’s created so much anxiety around being “real,” being consistent, endlessly delivering your personal brand. And now Chip’s off the grid.

RUTHERFORD: I’m trying to figure out myself in all of this. Maybe I’m expected to have already done that, but I haven’t. I feel like I turned into a “thing” on the Internet. When you work on a piece of music for a long time, you post it, and it gets X amount of likes, then you post a picture with your girlfriend and it gets X amount… It’s just a weird, challenging, confusing feeling. I feel like there’s an opportunity to get off the platform, or at least try it this way.

PATTERSON: How many months ago did you debut Chip? August?

RUTHERFORD: Yes. I killed @jesserutherford when I turned 27. Dead at 27.

PATTERSON: A not-so-subtle 27 Club reference.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s this ridiculous motif. Really, I want to have fun with this stuff, play with it. Like, yo, nobody paints themselves silver, throws on a Spandex suit and a grill. Then, of course, Kanye West comes along…

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Major Basel ‘fit.

RUTHERFORD: Bowie passed and everyone started to think about him again, riff on him. But no one was taking it to the full Ziggy extreme! There’s a Tekashi69 out there but no Ziggy Stardust? C’mon. It feels comfortable for me. I’m having fun.

PATTERSON: Can you describe the physical process to go full Chip? Side note: I saw a picture of that reflective Marine Serre balaclava you scored recently. Insane.

RUTHERFORD: The makeup itself isn’t too long of a process. I’ve always done it myself. Actually, I have a friend of mine who rips at makeup, Sydney, @sydn4sty on Instagram—

PATTERSON: Good friend plug.

RUTHERFORD: She’s bomb. Me and Dev [Devon Carlson, Rutherford’s partner] met her, she was our neighbor at an apartment we lived at a bit ago. She came over, fucked around and helped me with an eye design. For the most part, though, I’ve always done it on my own. We did a tour recently, and I’d usually start an hour before the show, giving myself time to get in the headspace. I could turn into Chip in 25 minutes. It doesn’t take that long.

PATTERSON: What about the suit?

RUTHERFORD: The silver suit is a stupid Spandex suit from the boulevard. I just ended up going into one of those places, figuring out a suit that worked there. Taking measurements and shit, getting the sizing right.

PATTERSON: Love that.

RUTHERFORD: I premiered Chip at a B-level, crusty, Hollywood, kind of spaghetti Western-y place. Which felt right. But as you can see—you referenced the top Dev got for me—there’s so much opportunity for Chip to grow visually. When we [The Neighbourhood] go on tour later this year, I want to develop this. But there’s also something about the campiness, this B-level visual, that I really like. It feels authentic to me.

PATTERSON: All in a time when people are hiring stylists for their hotel-lobby-to-car looks.

RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] Exactly.

PATTERSON: I feel like the DIY, the physical process of putting yourself together imbues a certain energy, a sort of leveling with your audience.

RUTHERFORD: Right. Thanks so much for noticing.

PATTERSON: Is Chip working its way into your solo act? Or do you think you’ll reserve it for The Neighbourhood?

RUTHERFORD: It was gonna be its own thing. I had no intention of bringing Chip into The Neighbourhood. It sounds corny, but the reason I wanted to do Chip for The Neighbourhood is—I don’t know if you’ve heard our song, “Middle of Somewhere.”

PATTERSON: I did. I watched the video.

RUTHERFORD: That song is a special one to me. I wanted to make sure that I could attach something to it that would make people stop, look, and have to listen. We were gonna do a textural video, like B-roll footage, Super 8, nature-y. I wake up in the morning, and I go to the house we’re recording at, in Coldwater Canyon. Before our director Alex got there I was sitting in the house, looking across the canyon over on this hill, and I actually had a vision of the chrome fuckin’ thing on top of the hill. So I showed up the next day in full Chip regalia, and everyone looked at me like, “Oh, no…”

PATTERSON: [Laughs] So that was the first introduction between Chip and The Neighbourhood, when you made it a part of the universe.

RUTHERFORD: It was, yeah. Actually, this producer duo called Take a Daytrip–they did that Sheck Wes song [“Mo Bamba”], “Panini” by Lil Nas X–they’re doing so well. I’ve known them for a long time. They’ve always sent me beat packs and I’ll just go through, pick ten at a time. I thought Chip was going to be leaning more toward my hip-hop shit.

PATTERSON: Yeah, if you’d gone through with Chip as an independent project, how would it sound?

RUTHERFORD: End of 2017, me and my engineer, Danny, were in the studio, going off on Chip. If you ask my friends, they heard about Chip so long ago, they’re like wow, you actually did it! Chip was going to be hip-hop.

PATTERSON: Daytrip almost feels more aligned with this glitchy, chromed-out look than The Neighbourhood. I’m thinking of the “Panini” video, Lil Nas X in the space suit.

RUTHERFORD: Hip-hop music has been my programming. It’s been my love. When I was a kid, hearing Eminem, G-Unit for the first time, I was like… Bro, that is it. I don’t know if you know where I’m from, Newbury Park—

PATTERSON: Ventura County, right?

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, yeah. I was kind of the odd one out, in my neighborhood, my area, obsessed with rap. I decided to stick with the guitar, and I fell in love with it, not having to use so many goddamn words. In fact, I don’t want Chip to talk, because Jesse talks enough. It’s all in the song, that’s where I’m gonna leave it. And “Middle of Somewhere” is a good jumping off point. That’s probably the purest sound you’re gonna hear; it’s just me and a guitar. I’ve been really into Dolly Parton lately—

PATTERSON: She’s having a revival moment with us younger gens!

RUTHERFORD: She’s a great reference for what I’m doing, because Dolly will tell you, “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m fake on the outside, because I am! That’s what I wanna look like. And that’s fine, because I know what’s coming out of me is more real than anything. So I don’t have to worry about that.”

PATTERSON: People are gonna assume they know what Chip’s about; i.e. my questions about the Ziggy comparisons or the visual continuity with Daytrip’s sound. But the far-out visual is paired back to a fairly stripped sound.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s not what people are expecting. Right now, Chip’s dedicated to The Neighbourhood. The project is gonna be called—there might be a change—but right now it’s called Chip Chrome and the Monotones. The boys, the way we all look together… They’re shadows, they’re silhouettes.

PATTERSON: They’ve got the reflective two-piece suits, right?

RUTHERFORD: For the most part, I’m the only one who has to say something to express what we collectively feel. So if I say something they’re not into, they tell me. I mean, there’s two thousand songs the world won’t hear because we all didn’t agree. It’s working, though. When I first showed up as Chip, everyone was like “what the fuck are you doing?” Now that we’ve worked on the context, everyone’s down.

PATTERSON: Final question, easily the lamest. Will Jesse/Chip find their way back to Instagram?

RUTHERFORD: I guess I’ll say I don’t know. I’m only a couple weeks off.

PATTERSON: How’s it feeling?

RUTHERFORD: I mean, you know… I’m going through it a bit.

PATTERSON: It’s a hell of a drug. You ingest it, but it can also completely consume you.

RUTHERFORD: Comparing myself to everything, everyone, everybody I love… You can’t look at humans like that. I don’t want to think about what everyone else is doing. I feel my creativity pumping back up again. I mean, I have the queen of social media sleeping in the bed next to me. And it’s the coolest thing ever, the way Devon does it? That’s the way you gotta do it. Not work for it, but make it work for you. And that’s cool, that’s her thing, it doesn’t have to be my thing. Luckily, if I do want to come back…

PATTERSON: It’s all gonna be there.

RUTHERFORD: The weirdest twist to it all—which I love, which is wonderful—is that I get off of it, and a week later I get an email that Lily from Interview fuckin’ Magazine… I mean, it’s Interview Magazine! If that isn’t a sign to pay attention, then I’m an asshole and I need to recalibrate my vision.

[georgia-black-hat-society]

Saturday: Sigils and Symbols: Shadow Work

There has been great talk of Shadow lately. Shadow-Self or Unconscious Self, Community-Shadow or Social Unconsciousness and World Shadow or Collective Shadow are actually ALL being talked about in different circles. For the purpose of Individual Sigil Work, I will only speak of Personal Shadow/Shadow-Self for this article. 

What is Shadow Work?

It begins with seeing and/or understanding an action, thought or emotion, that indicates how we internally perceive ourselves. It can be something as a perception of being weak or in pain – that we feel the need to hide that part of ourselves. Carl Jung believed in the integration of the Shadow side so that our full Self is acknowledged. When we do this, we can live in a balanced way to our fullest human potential, standing in our own power as Practitioners.

Shadow Work is when you face the side of yourself you do not want to acknowledge – your fears, sexual identity, hatred, abandonment, bigotry, that part of your Self that feels wrong or bad. Your Shadow is also comprised of the qualities within you that you project onto others when you feel that burning dissonance of hating someone but relating to them. It is when you are rude or inconsiderate to those around you because others were rude and inconsiderate to you. It is all around the lack of accountability for the emotions you are feeling and by proxy, making others feel too, such as children. With Shadow Work, you confront that Self and you become a whole person by integrating it into you and dealing with those aspects in a healthy way.

It is not recommended that you go this alone. This is especially true if you have some unresolved trauma in your life that you are having trouble facing. i.e. being abused as a child, spouse, significant other. PTSD from war or severe accidents. From being neglected as a child and not having the proper support through crucial “Ages and Stages”. Or, you just simply have this “nagging feeling” about something that feels “wrong” or “dirty” or “bad” and you need help uncovering it. i.e. “Family Secrets”.

You should seek out a licensed therapist or counselor for the harrowing roller coaster of trauma navigation. Once on the other side of that and you feel comfortable, there are groups like Integral Transformative Bodywork that will be available to you so that you can continue your journey of Self Discovery. 

How do you practice Shadow Work?

It is a deeply personal process. Many Practitioners have different processes by which they achieve gnosis for Sigil Work. Sometimes you just need a friend or significant other to hold the “Verbal Vomit Bucket” for you. Sometimes you need a little more and that may require licensed/experiencel outside help to navigate the noise inside your head or Spirit. Peter J. Carroll in “Liber Kaos” says, “One of the greatest difficulties of contemporary physical and magical theories is the failure of visual analogy: one simply cannot form a mental image of many of the required concepts.” 

To Sigilize and Charge, a Practitioner achieves gnosis in Magickal Works. One must be able to quiet the distractions of the mind. Having quelled the mind, allows Spirit Self to focus on the task at hand and not laundry, or tire rotation, or school, or a plethora of other life activities. 

Although there are two more levels to Shadow, most times one is typically faced with the task of Ego, or “Self” in Personal Shadow. 

Two good ways to begin working with Shadow, without “digging in the dirt”, are Mindfulness and what we like to call “The Ego Challenge”. 

Mindfulness is easily found being practiced in our world right now. There is even “an app for that”. You may begin practicing it by practicing being in the NOW, not dwell on the spilt milk from yesterday the cats already licked up. Not by worrying about tomorrow which you cannot control. BE. IN. THE. NOW.  You can also “take the Challenge”.

How to Practice Mindfulness: 

Make sure you are not hungry, or tired.

(You will just take a nap! That is NOT Mindfulness.)

Have a seat. Find a place to sit that feels calm and quiet to you. Your bathroom. Your car - parked! The backyard.

#TIME: Set a time limit. If you are just beginning, it helps to choose a short time, such as 5 or 10 minutes.Just do this in the beginning. As you progress, 15 minutes will do wonders for you practice.

#BODY: Notice your body. Are you warm? Does anything hurt? Can you feel your “sits bones” on the surface you are sitting? What about your back? Are you slouching? Is head over heart, heart over pelvis? Where are your hands? How comfortable is your body?

#BREATH: Feel your breath. When you inhale, does your chest rise or does your stomach fill out in “puppy belly”? (This can indicate where you hold your tension too.) Do you inhale naturally through your mouth - or your nose? Is your exhale longer than your inhale or visa versa? Is it hard to catch your breath? Inhale. Exhale. Slowly. Count if you must, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

#MIND: Close your eyes if you can. Notice when your mind has wandered. Is there something you keep drifting to? Is there something “old” that keeps popping in your Mind’s Eye? Are you noticing outside sounds? Focus here on what comes to you. Often the Divine shows you “pictures” of things to address or acknowledge. Do that. 

#MINDFULNESS: Be kind to your wandering mind. It is often tired at the beginning of this journey of Self-Discovery. Let the thoughts pass as if clouds passing through the sky of your mind. Acknowledge them. Take another breath. Continue to let thought drift. Your subconscious will begin speaking to you and show you “where” it needs work or a place where you are not looking, acknowledging. Let it. Keep your time, it is a promise to yourself. It is Self-Love. 

How to do the “Ego Challenge”:

This is simple in explanation but difficult in execution. It is suggested to have a “partner” to monitor your words as some of our speech is so ingrained in our everyday venacular it is often overlooked. Attempt to go ONE DAY, twenty four hours, without using “me”, “I”, “my” or “mine”. That is it, good luck.

The lesson is not to learn how to speak without these words but to recognize how often the Ego is in control. Ego is important as an evolved Practitioner, but no one part of you, additive or subtractive, should be your sole guiding star. To move too far in any one direction is to lose balance. And as Practitioners of any Art is to find balance, to face Shadow.

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for jenn

sign: virgo sun | virgo moon | taurus rising

lover: kim namjoon | soulmate: kim taehyung

This reading is for Jenn, a cutie who triple biases Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon but is regularly wrecked by Jungkook. And to complicate things further you are astrologically compatible with 2/3 of the Big Dick Kim line! It certainly can’t be easy living this way. Anyway, hope you enjoy this reading, love.

Where to begin, Virgo? Determined, intellectual, gracious and refined are some of the ways you are perceived by the world around you. With both your Sun and Moon in Virgo, these traits are fully amplified and realized on a daily basis and make up your sense of identity - your dedication to hard work, patience, fairness and learning acting as the pillars of your life. You are one of the strongest and most secure forces in the zodiac, and you value this piece of yourself highly as it is tied into your ego but also your truest self. A natural leader, the confidence exuded from your innately stable, curious and rational mind is very attractive to those around you who lack your focus and fortitude in their own lives. The desire and ability to help people is more or less in your DNA, and your friends, family, and colleagues are always happy to take your advice, which you are able to deliver plainly and matter-of-factly- a true gift heightened by your Taurus rising. The analyzer of the star signs, beneath your outwardly stoic exterior is a mind that is constantly hard at work, looking to improve or correct either yourself or society at large. To you, beauty lies in the ability to identify problems - of which there are endless amounts - and fix them methodologically. Full of ideas, solutions, and well-informed insights, alongside a meticulously detailed mind - you see things that other’s regularly miss. With such strong principles and a dedication to righteousness in all areas of your life, you no stranger to openly voicing your thoughts to others about how the world can and should be. If only the world would listen!

You are the pure embodiment of quantity over quality, with everything and everyone in your orbit serving as an irreplaceable, valuable part of your life. It is exceptionally rare for you to engage with any frivolity and and careless behavior, and you want those around you to exist on a similarly high wavelength. While you are sociable and curious, it is likely that you have a small circle of extremely close friends, family, and romantic relationships who you hold dear. Loyalty comes naturally to you when people provide themselves to be trustworthy and kind, and you enjoy deep, lifelong connections with those select few. Quality also exists in the way you present yourself, the food you eat, and the beverages you consume. You are certainly not someone that over-indulges in lavish meals or time-consuming practices, opting instead to buy high quality ingredients and cook at home. It is in the organic produce section of the grocery store where you see a man looking extremely lost as he navigates around all of the fruits and vegetables. You're pretty sure by just looking at him that he has not ever made a meal in his life, his large hands clumsily handling each piece of produce in search of the right one, and you hate seeing a poor attractive stranger in need. Are you lost? After successfully guiding him to the right section, your helper Virgo at work, you turn to walk away before he shyly asks if you could also help him locate another item in the store. I have to make dinner for my hyungs tonight and as you can see have no idea what I'm doing. Though typically not easily distracted, there is no way you're saying no to this man - who introduces himself as Kim Namjoon - or those strong arms that you can imagine wrapping around your frame, holding you close and moving over your curves.

The relationship that ensues between you and Namjoon is initially relatively platonic, with you two Earth signs moving at a notoriously glacial pace physically - choosing instead to build and truly get to know each other's minds first and foremost. Between two Virgos is an immediate mental connection as you are both incredibly intellectual, able to jump easily across a vast range of topics. With Namjoon, you don't even have to go far to feel a world away - enthralled in the depth of his intelligence, virtues and drive provided by his Mercury in Libra and Jupiter in Scorpio. Your chart equips you with a strength, wisdom, and shyness that mimics his own character, and that is highly attractive to him. Only when you feel that you've established full trust with each other's hearts can you move into the physical, which ranges from sweet and passionate to energetic and frenzied. You're not ones for exhibition or excessive experimentation, preferring your tried-and-true methods of getting each other off in the privacy of your own home. Foreplay for you normally consists of an intellectual sparring match over dinner, the ideas flowing back and forth before you find yourselves back at his apartment, lips locked as you your hands float down down his strong, firm back as he carries you to the bedroom. Two Virgos are typically not as passionate as they are skilled, and you both derive satisfaction from seeing the other go crazy under your expert touch. As his hands move gently down your frame before slipping two fingers in between your thighs, you are taken out of the harsh, thinking world and into a more sensual one where you are both able to lose yourselves. Nothing turns Namjoon more than seeing you squirm beneath him, panting as he fucks you with his perfectly thick cock. It is hard to not completely fall apart at his voice or his smirk above you, his eyes increasingly dark at the sight of your pure lust. You look so fucking good baby. Say my name and tell me how much you love this, I want to hear you. Louder, baby.

Two Virgos have the capacity for romance, but in the long term gets eclipsed by the high levels of criticism that exists in this pairing. You are both prone individually to being nit-picking and finding flaws in yourself and others out of a shared desire to seek perfection in everything. For you, nothing is ever enough, and the journey to perfection is unending. Unfortunately, when you apply this much criticism to a relationship without enough emotional investment or words of affection, it will inevitably buckle beneath such pressure. Ultimately, after the dust of the breakup settles, you and Namjoon are able to acknowledge your differences and accepting that you are better as friends. And this is a lifelong friendship, with both of you serving as a resource to bounce ideas off of and get valuable feedback from. Namjoon regularly confides in you about his concerns about the future of his career, knowing you will provide an objective and logical take. Meanwhile, you find comfort in knowing that regardless of all of your pursuits, Namjoon will always hold you to the highest possible standard and that he is always a simple phone call away. Confidants in your professional realms, you are not afraid to share in each others growth, taking pride in your individual growth.

Not one to jump from one romantic relationship to the next, you use your time post-Namjoon to fully immerse yourself in your work and your interpersonal relationships. It surprises you as much as anyone when you find yourself giving your phone number to Kim Taehyung at a small gathering of friends. A Capricorn Sun with his Moon in Aries, he is the embodiment of intense and deliberate charm, which he decides to use to break down your more reserved, shy Virgo. He finds your initial standoffishness very cute and refreshing in a sea of men and women that constantly try to get his attention, and immediately senses that there is much more to you than meets the eye than a serious, stubborn brat. While you are relatively disinterested at first - he seems silly and a potential charmer on this particular night - he does not stop until he leaves with your number, promising to see you soon. Admittedly, your poor reasonable Virgo heart never stood a chance against the Capricorn deliberate intention paired with his godly visuals. That night you definitely go home and fantasize about how it would feel like to have those fingers playing with your nipples and grasping at every inch of you.

You are impressed to learn that Tae offers more than a gorgeous face and lethal charm. More than anything, you want to be secure, and in dating Taehyung you see the opportunity to create a life of comfort, stability and peace. While highly motivated and a perfectionist in his own right (Sun and Mercury in Capricorn) Tae possesses a cool, relaxed approach to life and his place within it. This quality, aided by his Venus in Aquarius. that provides you with the ideal level of autonomy, nurturing, and support you need in a partner. He doesn't need you to leave him alone because he knows when to pull back and let you focus, returning to share and engage in stories of your separate interests. The mutual appreciation and respect allows you two to form a very strong mind-soul connection over time. While you are both slow to engage in physical relationship, when you do it is here that your relationship is taken to new heights. Sex with Tae is not always spontaneous, but you are both extremely focused on each others pleasure and he is known to surprise you by shaking up the routine. You could be prepping dinner before you feel his hands on you kisses all over your body  before moving down to move your legs apart, his breath moving against your slit as he teases you. Wanting to ensure you are always in the present and not thinking about the next item on your to-do list, it is normal for his eyes to stay fixed on yours as he thrusts hard and deeply into you. He possess a magical ability to transport you to a much more uninhibited mindset - the growls leaving his mouth as your wetness drips down your thighs enough to make you forget you have the stove on. Phone sex when he is on the road is also a given, and he can make you come in record time simply by describing the way he wants you to touch your neck, the sensitive skin on your inner thighs. You body shakes as you hear him losing himself on the other end of the line. God, I can’t wait to fuck you my gorgeous girl. When I get home need you to be ready for me, just like you are right now. Send me a picture, I need to see how needy you are.

Your life with Taehyung is one built on mutual trust, respect and dedication. It is likely that you cultivate a minimalistic, stylish home that has all of the small comforts you desire and also showcases your individual personalities: Tae's photography on the walls and your many books and accolades lining the shelves. It is here that you enjoy a much-deserved refuge of the grind of everyday life before heading back out into the world to take it on full force the next morning. Though you approach life's challenges similarly (with full force and concentration) you are also able to show each other different ways of seeing the world: you with pure, pointed reason from your list experiences and he with more out-of-the-box, future-focused thinking. Tae's eccentric self allows you to access a more vulnerable and childlike side of yourself that was likely buried beneath the hardships of adulthood and daily life, served by his Jupiter in Sagittarius, which is spontaneous, inspirational and enthusiastic. He encourages you to occasionally stop and appreciate who you are, where you've been, and all that you've become - something you often miss in your quest for being the absolute best version of yourself. Together you establish yourselves as a team, working in tandem with each other to reach higher in your respective fields and deepen your understanding of life and love through each other's shared perspectives. With Tae, you learn that the journey in itself can be just as beautiful as the destination and there is perfection in the present. Ultimately, this is a duo that can and will navigate life's ups and down efficiently with confidence in each other and a tenacity, strength and care that is almost unmatched by any other astrological pairing. 

[iamala]

Netflix's Sex Education was a show I thought I was going to hate watching the first couple of episodes but I turned out watching it all to love it.

And I've seen a few comments about how people were disapointed in Adam's storyline so- spoilers below- I wanted to expand on why I actually really loved it.

So the main criticism I've seen is that Adam plays into the homophobic bully is actually gay trope. Which, I fully understand as a reading. But, I actually disagree. Most of the characters and relationships in this show are set up as tropes and then play against them (Aimee as the dumb shallow promiscuous type who is actually taken advantage of and grows through having to explore herself is the quickest example I could think of bc i could write essays on them all).

Adam is a bully. He is set up from the off as the threatening kid, the one who acts out. And then with the viagra and flashing this it's played for comedy and like, dumb boy has feelings, still and idot. But then he gets dumped and the more complex part of his character comes out. Because he gets dumped and he can't let go of trying to find out why. This loss of an extremey emotionally shallow relatipnship really hits him, but not in the- wait I lost the Popular Pretty Girl who is the conquest I should own ego trope way a lot of his character types get. And this isn't a major noticable moment until you find out more about his family.

Adam's hoouse is shot like the 1950s, repression obviously. But if you notice, Adam kicks out looking for a response from his parents, his mother looks the other way and his father just pours increasing levels of dislike and disapointment on him. Note- at no point is this about homophobia or anything. Adam's dad is awkward like when trying to talk about sanitary pads, but at no point is he played as homophobic. He wants a trophy, not a son. This is brought to the front in the parallel with how he treats star student headboy and is later called out on by him ('It's not about my future it's about your sports funding' 'well, yes). So Adam tries to give him a trophy- the essay competition.

And notice throughout how the threat held over Adam is basically- give me a reason not to get rid of you bc I am being bery gracious in continuing to allow you to be my son. So, Adam gets thetrophy. And yes he cheated etc etc and it was never going to work but it backfires massively (however note how his dad still displays the trophy in a prominant position in his office-not for love of the son but almost as a-he could ar least give me this false trophy to show for his life).

Now, Adam and Eric's relationship is subtley complex and problematic, which it is meant to be. I don't think Adam is 'secretly gay' or repressing being queer. He was quite happy with Aimee, their issues where made a point of being based around his self esteem and confidence. But from ep 1 Adam has a fascination (not possitive) with Eric.

At the start Eric is the easy target. He is open, free, very much himself and unapologetic for it. Eric likes being able to have power over someone so comfortable with themselves. The basic feel powerless take power through violence thing.

However, as the show develops the moments the camera focusses on Adam's reaction to Eric are when Eric is being the most out and proud, so to speak. In Adam's eyes, the most provacative- and I mean that in Eric is crossing social boundaries and not being cowed by it, way. This is something Adam has been trying to do from the beginning. He's late, he's disrespectful. He's provocatively violent with the carving a table. Refusing to do work. Adam is provacatove and seeks a reaction and gets only ever derision and further disapointment. And throughout he sees Eric be provacative in a different way but still if Adam was doing it would be read as acting out by his father, and in response he recieves friendship, parental love.

Eric is something Adam is fascinated by less bc he desires him and more bc he desperately wants the freedom Eric seems to have to act however and find love in response. Now I'm not saying that is actually how Eric's life goes bc it isn't. But from Adam's point of view, and the moments the show draws attention to him seeing, it is.

And the turning point for Adam is the ball. Eric turns up the most provative he has looked yet, and his father follows. And instead of derision or disaointment Adam sees them communicate, understand each other, and respect each other and come closer in love. This is like watching an astrophysics lecture in a foreign language for Adam. He so desperately wants that and yet has no idea how it could even come to be. This boy has no emotional intimacy at all. Even his mother is simply emotionally absent if not actively abusive.

And he does what he does. He kicks out but you can see his heart isn't in it. And Eric does not give him a reaction- this moment is a very different moment from Eric's perspective btw. I'm focussing on Adam only bc I want to address how he complicates the apparent trope.

Adam has lost the only 'power' he had and he lashes out. He lashes out at Aimee's boyfriend and ultimately the confrontation with his dad is where their relationship finally breaks. It's over. I'd have to double check but I don't think we ever actually see them in a scene together again. Adam has finally abandoned ever getting that emotion from his dad.

Then comes that detention scene.

Now, this scene deliberately plays into the trope of the bully wanting the victim etc., but my personal reading is that it does so to play against it (the show is full of those moments, the aesthetic being a major one-borrowing an american visual film style and using that to play against later).

Adam sets up back as the bully. He makes Eric do the work etc. Then Eric calls him out on his relationship with his dad but also sympathises in a small but key moment with 'I couldn't imagine being scared of my own dad'. It's after this that Adam actually tries to reach out. Only Adam has 0 emotional skills so him reaching out is trying to take the music stand- i.e. offering to help- but it turning into a fight bc his act still reads as violence to Eric.

They scuffle and fight and end up on the floor. Now, if we were to follow this trope set up fully, the rolling around would be sexually based. That is usually the moment the bully gets the physical contact he's been craving, is over come by the sexual tension, and usually somewhat aggressive kissing breaks out as an explosion of this sexual tension.

But for Adam it is not sexual tension that is the issue, it's emotional. Eric spits at him and looks terrified. He expects aggressino in response. However, what is really interesting here is,the way Adam is holding Eric is not wholley aggressive. Not muscles strainging trying to contain physical violence. And his response is to spit back. Horrid and agressive in one way, but also the point he makes, asking how he likes it, is actually a moment that draws attention to the emotional harm of being spat at. It's a subtle writing clue but one that reakly struck me.

I, like probably everyone else watching that scene, was expecting the kiss. However, it being proceeded by that emotional emphasis, and also, the fact that Eric initiates got me. Usually in these scenes it is the bully's sexual frustration that comes to the fore and the trope is the victim expects violence and gets kissed instead, or they come together in an explosion of sort of violent physical frustration. But here it was Eric who lifted his head to initiate- though obviously still wary, and Adam responds tenderly.

In fact the tenderness Adam shows is overwhelming. This is the first bit of physical affection based on connection we've seen him have. And his response is to cradle Eric's face, to kiss his cheek and neck and down his body worshipfully. It is also one of the few sex scenes we don't see, we only see Eric's pleasure, bc in that scene, that is what Adam is focussed on.

Now I'm going to talk about possibly my favourite scene from a film perspective in the whole series new but I wanted to precede it by saying- I am not actually sure if Adam actually fancies Eric. I think he is fixated with him, but I think he craves being Eric more than Eric himself at this point. He wishes he could have that life- and I don't mean this in being out and proud, but in being able to explore and grow and be himself and be made stronger with love.

So, the biology lesson. Adam walks in, late, same bravado. They're made to sit next to each other and both do the overcompensating we're not friends nervous thing. And Eric hands Adam a pen. This is a caring move to Adam, and it's this moment when Adam seems to be just aching with want to reach out and be close to someone.

He inches his leg closer. He presses their arms nearer. And Eric doesn't resist but it's definitely Adam doing the reaching out. And then, he moves his little finger, and he moves it so slowly and the focus is making you feel how badly he wants to just touch, to hold hands, to connect. His want is communicated so well in the scene, and yet, their fingers never actually touch. The image feels such a perfect summary in a shot for Adam-bending and reaching towards connection he craves but still unable to touch it. The world hasn't changed.

Adam and Eric do not share another scene until the end. Adam's father sends someone to take him away and Eric sees it. Or rather, Adam looks at Eric and sees in him all he wants, and yet the world still being the same, it is made impossible for him to reach as he is detached forcibly from it.

Eric's storyline is about owning himself and being himself despite the fact he knows the world will hurt him for it- 'it'll be hard for me anyway is it not better to be myself'. Adam's storyline is about how he so badly wants to be able to grow and become more than he is, but how he is uncapable bc of his lack of emotional strength.

Note, Adam starts as a bully with a rubbish family, being threatened with being cut off entirely. Adam ends- still not really reformed, with a rubbish family, being cut off entirely. Adam doesn't develop, he's can't. His trajectory remains the same as at the  eginning of the story.

I don't think Adam plays into the repressive bully trope simply bc his relationship with Eric is not about his sexuality. Once Aimee is taken from him Eric is pretty much the only person Adam interracts with outside his family. It's not a good relationship. It's not a- oh kiss and all solved. It is problematic and meant to be so.

In the usual trope, Adam would be redeemed by admitting his sexuality and that would be what endeared him to the audience and made it possible for him to find a happy ending, either with the victim or elsewhere. In this story, Adam being cool kissing a guy isn't his millstone. Kissing Eric changes nothing for him, it only illustrates to us how desperately he wants connection just before he gets formally severed from any possibility of it by being taken away.

I fully get why some people have issue with Adam and especially his relationship with Eric. But if you look at it all the sex in the later episodes of the series are about emotional develpment. Aimee learns how to make sex pleasurable and finds the confidence to ditch her toxic friends. Alien girl whose name I have forgotten, discovered actually sex isn't what she wants right now. Sex goes from something done for the sake of itself in the early episodes to something that informs the character. Adam's first sex scene was him being unable to physically connect bc of his father. Adam's last sex scene was him wanting to emotionally connect, and ultimately being prevented from that by his father.

For Eric, his sex scene is much more- when you stop trying to be what people like an be yourself, you can find pleasure.

All the storylines in this show are problematic and this one pays against a problematic trope in queer media, however, in my opinion, it subverts it too. And I just wanted to ramble that all out just to put an differing opinion on Adam's ch out there.

[wandernic]

My SPOILERY Be More Chill review

In honor of tonight’s opening, I wanted to put together my impressions of the show, brought to you by five off-Broadway and four Broadway preview viewings. I will divide things up by scene/song to better order my thoughts. Please DO NOT read if you haven’t seen or don’t know the story well already. 

(In that case, here’s a mini-review for you: GOOOOO SEE THIS! Okay now do yourself a favor and close this window.)

More Than Survive:

I like the change to Mr. Heere just eating cereal in his underwear, and unable to drive Jeremy to school. This better conveys Jeremy's real frustration with his dad being mentally checked out than the (admittedly funnier) off-Broadway scene, which just made Jeremy seem grossed out by him.

I miss the Chloe-Jake breakup scene a bit, but it didn't really add much to the narrative other than seeing them as a couple for a brief moment. The next mini-scene where Jenna addresses the breakup with Chloe accomplishes what's needed, plus adds to Jenna's narrative as the girl everyone goes to for the dirt and nothing else.

I Love Play Rehearsal:

I would shower Stephanie Hsu with multiple Tonys for this scene alone. Her Christine is equal parts adorable and batshit, and we can easily see why Jeremy finds her so much more fascinating than the conventionally attractive popular girls at school.

Minor gripe: BRING BACK JAKE'S DAB. That shit was hilarious, and in a simple move showed how Jake, while trying to live up to the cool jock everyone knows him to be, has the same amount of dork inside that everyone does.  

The Squip Song:

Ugh I get they're trying to clean this up for a staid Broadway audience, but Rich drawing the penis on the wall and brazenly peeing in front of Jeremy are both missed. Not just for the humor, but because without it Rich just seems like his Squip made him merely mean, instead of confident. That confidence would presumably be what Rich was seeking with a Squip, not to become a garden variety bully, so it loses something in the translation when Rich isn't displaying that through his inappropriate jokes.

I do appreciate Rich's bullying of Jeremy being stepped up, because it's important we get a fuller idea of Jeremy's suffering. Off-Broadway, it just came across as "I can't get the girl I dig and a boy at school sometimes says shitty things." Though certainly emotional bullying is awful, its pervasiveness over a long period of time is hard to convey in a few short scenes. Having Rich also physically intimidate Jeremy makes you feel Jeremy's fear in a palpable way, which leads you to sympathize more with him.

Also can we give Gerard Canonico a Tony merely for the "It's from Japan!" scream? I think, yes. Seriously, his performance in this role is so iconic, it's hard to imagine another actor playing Rich.

Two-Player Game:

The perfect scene for conveying the true dynamic of Jeremy and Michael's friendship. That dynamic being, Michael is a much better friend to Jeremy than Jeremy is to Michael. This is one of the challenges for Will Roland in portraying Jeremy: he is not an easily likeable character. Yes, Jeremy is bullied at school, but he also makes everything about him, his needs, his pain, etc. There isn't a moment in which Jeremy checks to see how Michael's doing (lest we forget Michael is also bullied - the backpack prank was pulled on him, too.) So this song works as both a fun bop, and as a display of the unequal nature of this friendship.

Also, on the whole I *love* Chase Brock's choreography. Especially in "Halloween" and the utterly phenomenal "The Pitiful Children." The one exception is when Jeremy and Michael get up from the bed to finish this song; these moves are clunky and not sharp. It's hard to tell if executed more crisply, they would work better for me, or if the actors are intentionally sort of keeping it loose to demonstrate that these dudes are not as cool as their peers.

Be More Chill:

Jeremy's Squip being activated and the ultimate dramatic appearance of that Squip is one of my favorite moments in the show. My God, the evolution of the Squip from last summer has me floored. It was always good, but what Jason Tam is doing with this character now is must-see. This Squip is like an emotionally abusive partner. He coldy points out what he sees as your flaws, then smooth talks you about your amazing potential, and you forget that you were ever hurt or mad to begin with. Rinse, repeat. He also reminds me of the current administration, in that he'll say something totally out of bounds, then quickly walk it back to where he really wanted you, and you're temporarily swayed by the dial-down that he's not so bad after all. Fucking masterful.

If this man isn't nominated, seriously fuck the Tonys.

Do You Wanna Ride?

What I love most about this besides its hilarity is that it shows a bit of quid pro quo in the seemingly one-sided Chloe/Brooke friendship. While Chloe pretty openly treats Brooke poorly on multiple occasions, when Brooke wants an assist in trying to get Jeremy to say yes, Chloe immediately jumps to her cue and joins in. This is actually more than Jeremy ever helps Michael with anything in the entirety of the show, which is pretty fucking sad when you think about it.

Katlyn Carlson and Lauren Marcus have perfect chemistry as the best frenemies we'd love to hate if only we didn't kind of totally love them so damn much.

Be More Chill Part 2:

I liked the staging for this better at Signature. It serviced the choreography much better when they didn't throw a mall fountain mid-stage that forces them to redirect the dance moves in a less visually striking manner. I especially miss the hoveround rolling down center stage with the mall shoppers trailing behind it. We've already been to Payless and the food court; we know it's a mall. The fountain is unnecessary. Also, can we give Troy a better alter-ego when he goes on? The Starbucks get-up just looks like Michael went to work at his mall job and for some unknown reason put a wig on.

Sync Up:

I love the expansion of the supporting roles in the show, something this song supports to great effect. I don't have a lot more to say on this scene since it's new to Broadway, and I don't remember as much as the other scenes.  Also I believe before this song is when Jeremy ditches his glasses, and I like the change from first preview in how that was accomplished (though I did laugh at the Spiderman rip-off that first night).

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into:

I MISS THE PART WHERE BROOKE NODS HER HEAD ALONG WITH CHLOE WHILE LECTURING CHRISTINE. This is in all caps because that shit was comic gold; why take it out? It also demonstrated how in tune with Chloe's whims and emotions Brooke is, which is to say, too much. If I can't have this back, I'm going to at least need someone to explain why it was taken out.

I believe this scene is where the Squip puzzles over the person Christine is, and I love both that she's entirely confounded him, and that post-song, she ultimately defeats his carefully constructed plotting just by being the unpredictable person she is.

As for the song, this has been unchanged that I can see, and that's because it does exactly what it needs to do well.

Upgrade:

One of the best changed scenes from Signature. It was fine there, but is much more fleshed out now, and gives more insight into many of the characters that is needed and appreciated. I especially appreicated the added dialogue between Jeremy and Brooke, in which we get Brooke's insight into her self-doubt, and how Jeremy's seeming interest moved her.  

I did prefer how the Squip insinuated himself more in this scene at the first preview. When he was trying to get Jeremy to get with Brooke, he pretty much physically climbed on him to push him into her on the bleachers. In a future preview, the Squip stood completely away from them onstage, directing Jeremy with hand motions, and I didn't think that worked at. All. Last Sunday, he stood near them and physically pushed Jeremy with just his hand to kiss Brooke; while an improvement, it still wasn't as effective as the first preview for two reasons.

One, the complete disregard for personal space is just much funnier. Two and more importantly, when the Squip was literally pushing Jeremy's body into Brooke's with his own (imaginary) body, it demonstrated an important aspect of the Squip's control of Jeremy. What looks like the Squip being physically seductive is really a demonstration of his seduction of Jeremy's mind. This is significant, because Jeremy ends up doing a lot of things he doesn't particularly want to do, but the Squip seduces him into thinking he does. I found that incredibly effective.

Loser, Geek, Whatever:

My gripe with this otherwise effective scene is the singing of the song itself. Every time it starts to build steam melodically, it's cut off by Jeremy saying/shouting so many of the lyrics. The build-up then has to start again, leaving the song to finish up not as impactful as it could be. This could be a barn-burner Act 1 closer, and instead it's just pretty good. Also I don't know how Will Roland takes that loooooong end note up and down and back again, and still belt as powerfully at the end of it as the start. The show must be using some new can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet technology to pump air into his lungs from backstage. This actor has taken on a very difficult character and pitched it just on the line of where it needs to be to work. So impressive.

Halloween:

Love the song. LOVE the choreo (lookin' at you, Chase Brock.) Love LOVE the addition of the Squip front and center. This makes so much sense, because by manipulating Jeremy he's really manipulating all of them, and his inclusion in the midst of the party instead of on its periphery demonstrates this incredibly well.

I don't love the substitution of a pumpkin candle for a gas can. What even was that thought process? That sucks up the drama of that moment almost entirely. What level of foreboding does one accomplish with a pumpkin?

This scene contains my only major problem with the show, and that is Jake's sudden and unexplained loss of interest in Christine. Are we to infer that they slept together once and that's all Jake was after? And that all of his character development in Act 1 was bullshit? In which case what was the point of developing his character at all? This whole thing could be easily fixed by a line or two where Jake realizes he still has feelings for Chloe, but that never happens. I haven't seen the show since last Sunday (when multiple people told me it was locked in), so I hope since that time they've unlocked it to fix the one glaring flaw, either clarifying Jake is a dick, or Jake misunderstood his own feelings. In any event, Britton is absolutely CRUSHING IT with the nuances of Jake, and I can't wait to hear him on the Broadway cast album.

Do You Wanna Hang?:

Katlyn Carlson is a comic genius. All the little touches she throws into this hilariously awful attempt at seduction are amazing. The only part of this I liked better at Signature is when Jeremy asks her if she's jealous, and in this version she's crying while saying "obviously not." (Or at least she was on Sunday). I think this works better if she immediately *stops* crying at that point, playing it like it's the most absurd possible question Jeremy could ask.

Michael in the Bathroom:

Alternate title: George Salazar at the Tonys

Michael is quite simply the beating heart of this show, an odd role for a supporting character. As played by George, he is that quirky, too weird to be popular but too sweet to not love friend that if we were very lucky, we had growing up. Michael is so important because to be frank, Jeremy is kind of a self-involved dick. That would make the show entirely dependent on Will Roland's ability to make us relate to Jeremy through those trials he faces that we've all experienced - and he does an amazing job. But he also gets a Herculean assist from George, who so convincingly relates how steadfast and loyal to Jeremy Michael is, it makes us believe there's something special in Jeremy that warranted this devotion.

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into (Reprise):

During the couch scene between Jeremy and Christine, they've cut out Christine's very valid explanation as to why she can't date Jeremy (it involved getting to know herself better first). This is a problem, because it doesn't make sense at the end of the show when she likes him - we never see why she made that leap, so we're meant to assume she likes him for doing the bare minimum of correcting his own mistake. The way it was at Signature, we find out at least that she just isn't in a head space to date someone on the heels of her breakup with Jake, which shows she could be interested in Jeremy once she gets past that.

The Smartphone Hour:

Easily one of my favorite scenes. Tiffany Mann as Jenna is a delight from start to finish, and this is her moment to shine. Her comic sensibility is perfection. Lauren and Katlyn chime in with equally hilarious support.

My only complaint in this number is the slight lyric change to "Jake's house." For pity's sake, we just spent three or four songs at Jake's party; I promise you, we grasp who's house it is. And the change ruins the flow of the song a bit.

The Pants Song:

Okay yes this song is sweetly funny and does exactly what is needed to advance the plot here. But I just want to talk about Jason SweetTooth Williams overall right now. HOW IS HE A REAL PERSON THAT CAN SO EFFORTLESSLY JUMP FROM ROLE TO ROLE WITHIN SECONDS WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT. Mr. Reyes and his delusions of grandeur is my favorite, but Williams brings equal skill to all his roles, including Jeremy's dad. What a talent.

The Pitiful Children/The Play:

This may be my favorite song. Especially with the song, choreography, and performances here, this show is firing simultaneously on all cylinders. I also love that Jeremy and Jenna have an extended conversation that lets us know her a little more. Tiffany Mann gives a heartfelt authenticity to this that is lovely.

I think this is the scene where these critiques go (apologies if not). I wish Jeremy didn't tell his Squip "you were supposed to make Christine like me!" One thing I love about Jeremy is that he is not really into the popular girls, but the most interesting girl. He digs Christine because of all that she is.

When he says this line, he is upset because the Squip didn't make Christine do what he wanted, meaning he now wants her to change to like him. I think this would work better and make Jeremy come across as less of an incel if the line were more like, "you were supposed to make me someone Christine would like!" It was, after all, himself that Jeremy was looking to change - not Christine, who he loves as she is. That is this character's saving grace, and this diminishes it a bit.

That said, I do think there was an overcorrection in trying to make Jeremy more likeable. In the three previews I saw before Sunday, Jeremy tricks Jenna into drinking the Squip-spiked drink. In the last version I saw, he actually tells her what it is, and she immediately drinks it. It's pretty unrealistic that she would do that. Worse, it conflicts with Jeremy's "you were supposed to make Christine like me!" outburst. If we must allow for the fact the Squip has gained so much control of Jeremy he no longer cares that Christine likes him of her own choosing, he's certainly not going to care about respecting Jenna's need to consent to taking the Squip. Given the choice, I would either change Jeremy's line about making Christine like him, or his choice to tell Jenna what's in the drink. Back-to-back, they don't give us a good sense of how much control the Squip has of Jeremy at that point.

After Jeremy and Michael battle everyone and Jeremy makes his final choice, as the result becomes clear, Michael bizarrely explains what is happening on the spot. This makes little sense, especially in light of the fact that at the hospital, he asks Jeremy how he knew what would result from what he did. Um, he didn't know, you literally explained it to him in the middle of the last scene, bro. I would omit Michael's inexplicably instantaneous explanation from the Play scene and let the audience sit with the aftermath a moment, before having it clarified in the hospital scene.

Voices in my Head:

Not a fan of the lyric changes here, which seem to water down the edge of the teens ("she probably thinks that acne is hot") to morph them into Stepford children ("we got your back 'cause we are your squad" - vomit). Otherwise, this scene wraps everything up well and leaves you satisfield with the weird, wild journey you just went on.

What a score (my #1 favorite in all of musical theater history), what a cast, what a show! If there are not multiple Tonys thrown at this masterpiece, any significance the Tonys have is null and void.

In short, GET THERE or you’re missing the show of the year!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z Super Broly 4: The Quest for Peace

I don’t know what image to use to start this off, so I’m gonna go with this shot of Bulma, because it’s pretty non-spoilery, and I thought she looked cute hiding back there in her li’l snowsuit.  

I’m not sure how to organize my thoughts on this, so let’s start with just a general overview of the movie.   It was really good, and I think this movie proves that Akira Toriyama still has a tremendous talent for storytelling.   I think he’s taken a lot of lumps from critics over the years, but personally I prefer to lay the blame on the other creators who work with him or for him on these types of projects.  The filler scenes I’ve been covering on my Dragon Ball Liveblog sort of bear this out.   The stuff adapted from the manga has very clear characterization and plot continuity.   Point A always leads to Point B and the loose ends tend to get tied up later on.    But whenever the other guys at Toei get involved, things get a little wonky, and the details don’t always add up.    The worst parts of the Dragon Ball Super anime have a similar feel to the dopiest filler scenes from Dragon Ball and DBZ, so I don’t think I’m lionizing Toriyama too much in this.   He’s not perfect, but he knows how to make these characters work. 

The best evidence of this is how he took a glorified monster heel like Broly and made him into a sympathetic character.   The Movie 8 version of Broly had a very similar origin story to this newer, greener Broly.   For the sake of discussion, I’m going to be calling them Broly ‘18 and Broly ‘93, all right?  

Broly ‘93 was born with a really amazing power level, and King Vegeta had him killed because he might become a potential danger some day.  Paragus tried to intervene, and ended up sharing his son’s fate, but they ended up saving each other’s lives and Paragus raised him in exile, dreaming of the day they could take revenge against King Vegeta. 

Broly ‘18... pretty much everything I just said, only King Vegeta shot him into space instead of trying to stab him.   That makes a huge difference, because it allows Paragus to run off and find him instead of getting condemned to death for defying King Vegeta in person.   One of the plot holes in Movie 8 was that Baby Broly ‘93 managed to survive getting stabbed and Paragus ‘93 managed to survive taking an energy blast from King Vegeta, and then they both survived the planet exploding.  

Watching this movie, I could really tell that Toriyama went over the 1993 film with a critical eye.    Not too many people watched Movie 8 and felt much sympathy for Broly, even though he kind of deserves some.  Broly ‘93′s dad controlled him with a creepy device, and tried to use him as a weapon of revenge against people he’d never met.  The trouble is that Broly ‘93 never got the spotlight to demonstrae why he might deserve some pity.   He just stood around and then he went bonkers and destroyed those aliens’ home planet.   Toriyama watched this and realized it’d be a more compelling story if the audience felt sorry for the big guy.  

And so you have scenes of Kid Broly trying to survive on his own.    You have new characters introduced who befriend Broly ‘18 and confront Paragus for how he treats him.   And when it’s time for Broly ‘18 to fight, he’s actually at a disadvantage.   Vegeta really works him over good for a long time before Broly starts building up enough power to defend himself.  It was rather shocking to me to see this character being treated as a weaker fighter, even temporarily.   This was probably something Movie 8 lacked.   Broly ‘93 looked pretty pathetic in his base form, but no one ever picked on him or anything.   Later, when Gogeta is finally turning the tide against Broly ‘18, it becomes clear that Broly ‘18 is definitely losing, and he’s going to be killed, and it’s not right, because he never asked for any of this.  

There’s a definite Android 8 quality to Broly ‘18.    It’s not quite the same.  Broly ‘18 isn’t a pacifist and he’s not afraid to fight, but he’s in that same boat where he’s a character introduced as this enormous threat, and then it turns out he’s pretty gentle at heart, and he’s only on the front lines because he’s been coerced into it.   I think Toriyama looked at the 1993 version and said “Okay, he’s way stronger than Goku and Vegeta.   That’s his gimmick, so he has to keep that aspect.   But there has to be some trade-off for that.   He has to have a great weakness to balance out his immense strength.” 

That’s pretty much true for all of the Dragon Ball characters.   Master Roshi is introduced as an invincible fighter, but he’s consumed with lust and other carnal desires.   Goku’s the great hero who always rises to the occasion, but he’s really naive and careless about a lot of things.   Bulma’s a technological genius, but physically weak and also very self-centered.   Vegeta is powerful, but often blinded by his ego.    Most of the movie villains lack that balance.   Broly ‘93 is a great example of a movie villain who’s just sort of unstoppable until the end of the movie, when Goku finally punches a hole in him and he explodes.  Broly ‘93, Bojack, Super Android 13, none of these big galoots are brought down by a fatal flaw.   They’re just really strong until it’s time for them to not be really strong any more, and then they get wrecked.

Improving this single aspect of the Broly concept opens up a world of possibilities.    For one thing, it makes all the fights in this new movie distinct.   I saw clips of Broly fighting different guys in this movie, which made me wonder how this was supposed to work.    Well, it’s actually pretty simple.   Broly steps off the spaceship, fights Vegeta, and then he starts losing.    Then he begins to learn how to keep up with Vegeta, and things get dicey.   Before it gets too tough for Vegeta, Goku decides to cut in and he fights evenly with Broly for a while, until he finds that he can’t keep up with him even at Super Saiyan Blue.    Then Goku and Vegeta tag team him for a little bit and pawn him off on Frieza.    By this point Broly’s gone so bonkers that he can’t distinguish one opponent from another, so Freiza becomes the object of his wrath while Goku and Geets take a breather to learn how to fuse.   Frieza can’t win, but he doesn’t need to, he just has to not die until Gogeta can return to close this thing out.    Then Gogeta fights Broly.  At this point Broly seems almost powerful enough to keep up, but Gogeta eventually wears him down, and Broly on the verge of defeat.  

It’s a beautiful thing.   You couldn’t do that with a 1990′s movie villain, because most of them were big dumb brutes without enough personality to function this way.    Broly ‘18 isn’t just an underdog who becomes and overdog and then becomes an underdog again.   What makes this formula work is that Cheelai and Leemo feel sorry for him on the sidelines.   On top of that I think Paragus truly does care about Broly ‘18, even though he’s a pretty lousy parent.   In the end, Paragus finally recognizes that King Vegeta had been right to exile Broly ‘18 all along.    He’s simply too dangerous for a combat situation.

I also really like how Goku tries to befriend him at the end of the movie.   It shows that Gogeta was only using lethal force as a last resort.    Once the battle is over and Broly’s no longer a threat, Goku wants to make things right and reassure Broly that they can be Saiyans and not have to kill each other or isolate themselves from the rest of the universe.   They could spar for funsies, like Goku and Vegeta did at the start of the movie.  

In particular, I’m very fond of the line at the end where Goku tells Cheelai his name, but adds “But Broly... Call me Kakarot.”   I love that because it’s like Goku is embracing this Saiyan custom of addressing each other by their Saiyan names.   He doesn’t call himself Kakarot, but all the other Saiyans do, and he wants Broly to feel like he can as well.    He can relate to Broly as a fellow outsider who had to grow up on another world.   He’s trying to give Broly a piece of the Saiyan culture, even if it’s a very small one.   It’s a big change from back when he angrily demanded that people not call him that because he was Son Goku.   After all these years, Goku’s comfortable being a Saiyan.   He doesn’t have to choose between being Goku or Kakarot.  He can be both.   He wants Broly to know he doesn’t have to choose either. 

It’s definitely a great Dragon Ball film.   The animation is well done, the writing is solid and on point.   There’s never really a place where things get dull for any appreciable length of time.   Even the space travel scenes are interesting, despite being rather low key. 

Is it better than Movie 8?   Well yeah, but I’m reluctant to say so, because I sort of have a soft spot for Movie 8, and I hate to just turn on it completely.    This new movie is superior in every objective way, though.   The characters are more developed, the action is more balanced, and the visuals are more compelling.   It’s forty minutes longer than Movie 8, and it shows.   There’s a lot of plot points that get breezed over in Movie 8, probably because there simply wasn’t room to explain how Piccolo got to the South Galaxy so quickly, or whatever else didn’t get explained.  The DBS movie actually used the Dragon Balls in the plot, which is usually a plus as Dragon Ball films go.   Call me stupid, though, but Movie 8 had Future Trunks and King Kai in it, and that makes a bigger difference than it really ought to.  

Is DBS: Broly a better movie than Fusion Reborn?   Hell no.  Fusion Reborn is friggin’ fantastic from start to finish.   Better plot, better music, cooler villain, beter visuals.   Yeah Gogeta got more time to shine in “Broly” but I’ll take a few seconds of Gogeta one-shotting the bad guy over ten minutes of Gogeta showing off.   Sometimes less is more, you know?   Fusion Reborn is untoppable, the end. 

Is it better than the Bardock TV Special?   Definitely, because the Bardock TV Special has some problems.   Is it a better Bardock/Destruction of Planet Vegeta story?  I’d have to give that some thought.   I don’t hate Dragon Ball Minus, but I don’t necessarily love the Father of Goku TV special either.   DBS: Broly pretty much adapted the entire Dragon Ball Minus story and just added in scenes of Paragus and King Vegeta.   Honestly, I’m not sure any of these really gets it right.   Each of them seems to treat Frieza’s betrayal and Goku’s trip to Earth as boxes on a checklist.   I’m not sure I can explain what I mean.    Best to save that for later.  

I’ve got other thoughts on this movie, but I think I’ll call it here for now.    If you want me to go on about a particular topic, shoot me an ask and I’ll talk about it.  But definitely, you should check this movie out.    It’s a really fun experience.

[reece-c-parker-blog]

Gay Culture; A Blight Upon Itself

How this ethical quagmire has metastasised across the lives of our lost boys struggling to find their place as men.

Originally posted on Medium

I hate being gay. Statistically speaking there would have to be a few of us. The numbers, I’m sure you’ve noticed, are kept conspicuously quiet. No, there isn’t a vast conspiracy. It simply doesn’t fit narrative.

My pubescent years fell as the millennium turned, amidst the rise of the gay normalisation movement. This time saw the rise of Will & Grace, Queer As Folk, and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. It was a great time to feel included. Just not for me. These programs were an entry-level concept of what it means to be gay for the metropolitan audiences of the east and west coasts of the United States. The AIDS crisis had drawn the eyes of mainstream western audiences to the existence of the gay community. There was no better time to finally address what could no longer be ignored.

I had tried to engage, during these years, with the material that was expected of me. They were telling my stories, after all. Painting the canvas of life with the experiences I should experience, and feelings I should feel. Expect they didn’t. They proselytized with tired stereotypes and the bigotry of low expectation. I soon found homosexuality a talking point in my social circles — as nothing more than a kitsch cliché pulled in for reference, then reshelved until needed. Gay men weren’t making the punchlines. They were the punchline.

This was a moment of the first of many disconnects. Where I, through failures of character and assimilation, couldn’t bond with my peers. As the industry grew, and the prevalence of gay characters onscreen continued to impress focus groups, so grew my dejection. But as the list gorged itself with new examples of progressivism, and the insertions became further tokenistic, the rise of groupthink assured this lens had become a prerequisite entry point to what it meant to be gay. Suddenly, so vanished the hardships of the few — gay culture was at the mercy of almighty corporate.

Now here we are; Expected to worship towards the cultural meccas of preselected gay figures championed not for their contributions to the realms of medicine, literature, or technology, but instead to their servile attitudes in representing the hedonism that bore their fame. Gay conversation has fast adopted an adaptation of Godwin’s Law, where as a conversation increases in duration, the probability one of the conversationalists mentioning RuPaul’s Drag Race approaches 1. Though, it’s more than this. It’s the exclusivity of language attached to those cultural expectations. While language has long been in flux, flitting to the verbal needs of its speakers, allowing our language to be shaped by corporate interests masquerading as representatives borders on Orwellian. Shade, Read, Sickening, Tea, Fish, Clock, and a series of disjointed ramblings have become the core exchanges of the gay communiqué. The expectation of this adherence, a cruel hand to play for young men seeking freedom from the limitations clasped to them during their formative years. To escape the shackles of their prison, to fall into the loving embrace of a new turnkey. Oh, but this time it’s different. This isn’t some hallway bully. This one wants you. But only if you be what it wants you to be. Only if you buy its products. Only if you wear its styles. Only if you speak with its voice. And only if you, in the innocence of your youth, surrender in your entirety.

Even an article like this risks defilement through the accusation of homophobia; for calling out the failures of a community through its inactivity of service and protection of all its members. For the suggestion we have a culture of ceaseless pandering to those most visible and easily pigeonholed would net me a gay excommunication. It simply cannot be said. It’s an inconvenience too burdensome to address, and so instead we commit to the monotonous busywork of feigning outrage by the perceived slights issued by positions of power. As if, by the consternation of the gay masses, the notion things aren’t too bad is too hefty a price to concede. Understandably so. Without a rallying struggle against the alabaster crowned, black suited boogeymen, all that would be left for the LGBT community would be to accept responsibility for the establishment of reasonable behavioural boundaries and the regulation of its members. A price too high, indeed.

In many ways it reminds me of the Arcadian Pan, whose submission to lust-filled tawdriness is emulated to a design by metropolitan hook-up culture. A youth swept away by the propagandistic idiom of ‘It Gets Better’, without the nuanced discussion of whether or not this is even true. After all, Grindr recently ranked top on the unhappiness scale, with a 77% respondents rate of user depression post usage. No surprises why. In the constricting nativity of my youth, I had dabbled, seeking conversation, which at the time was perceived to be a remedy to my loneliness, from the most populated aggregate. Within one working day I had been labelled as a faggot, by a member of my own community — for simply failing to supply him with what he wanted. The entitlement. As if I were nothing but a monkey tasked to perform by an organ grinder. Words carefully chosen, as his organ was the recipient of my expected performance. It is in this shadowy field where the ego is unleashed, freed from the shackles of civility. Where an otherwise unremarkable citizen may scale a hierarchy sheathed from the view of their heterosexual peers. Where the 1% isn’t measured by economic prosperity, but instead by the congregation of required physical traits and social capital to be granted worth. Note, ‘granted worth’. As worth within this community is not an immutable characteristic inherent to the individual, rather a bestowed upon status via the idolatry of its membership. But remember. It gets better. As if the exchange of the verbal assaults of your schooling for this is somehow, by definition, superior. Of course, it is. This time it’s a choice. An opt in.

But is it? Every year when the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras sweeps Sydney’s city streets, I can’t help feel it serves as a charming veneer — an underbelly surviving on the laundering scheme of ‘good intentions’. How respectful we are, in recognising the hard work and good character of our Australian Servicemen and women. And so we should be, their contributions are worthy of recognition. Though for some, and in numbers enough to escape the descriptor of a powerless minority, the parade and those in it are merely puppets. A necessary encumbrance to be endured before the night blooms, and the incubi feast. And feast they shall — while failing to recognise such a diet consisting of thin amoral gruel could provide anything other than little sustenance. This is not to say the Mardi Gras fails in its purpose. A brotherhood, and sisterhood, or similarly disenfranchised individuals finding solace amongst the mutual understandings of their peers is an integral cornerstone of any counter-cultural community. My query remains, why does the LGBT community repeatedly allow this message to be bastardised and accessorised by the overtly sexual?

And it is the same, hollow-toned degeneracy which snakes its way through all visual and auditory signposts, toxifying the channels of expression. The invention of preventative HIV measures has garnered responses from activist campaigns such as ‘You can fuck raw, PrEP works, no more HIV’. A delicately phrased example for a youth burgeoning into manhood. A wretched expectation of what is to come for both themselves, and their future. The normalisation of pharmaceutical dependence to enable sexual deviancy — have gay men fallen so low, they would prefer the assistance of big pharma to maintain their deviancy, rather than changing their behaviours? But of course, that is an opinion unheld. Unstated. Should that question be uttered, the tested formulaic response had already been embossed across social media. We get enough hatred from outside the community, we don’t need any hatred from within it. An interesting deflection. One that disarms all criticism. Even if it is legitimate.

One-night hook-up culture is leaving an alarming amount of young men feeling trapped. Yet, little in the way of option is offered for an alternative. Prudism is projected onto those non-participatory figures more inclined to other forms of connection. To the point, albeit most likely a problem on my behalf, I have felt rejected purely for my unwillingness to participate. The larger point is; no one should have to. The trading of bodies in a conceptualised marketplace as currency may serve the purposes of immediate pleasure, but the model itself has only been in operation for just over a decade. A time barely long enough to map the cognitive changes amongst habitual users. I often hear the espousal ‘It’s just a bit of fun’, when I vocalise even my least controversial concerns. A dismissal that I have oft found confusing. As if detachment and promiscuity held no hidden consequences. Though the citation of psychology holds little sway in this field, as it lacks the grounded and well secured architecture of reasonable discourse — instead, it’s an emotional beast. These members, with the impetus of their own desire, have decided it is fun. Thus, fun it is. Though I would argue, it takes a certain type of man to revel in such a state of emotional displacement, and not one I would imagine, many would go out of their way to willingly associate with.

For the first three years of my adulthood, bambi-like and with the same naive idealism consistent with those of that age, I was blessed with a boyfriend. Three years, you may have noted, came with an expiry date. When we, still growing, reshaped ourselves into markedly dissimilar people from who we were at the commencement of our relationship. Still, I have found these years to be the fondest of my life, and resultantly the greatest limitations to my understanding of the gay community. To be succinct for the first time in this passage — I loved him. And though this love found a place to rest, the memory of its impact remains too profound to sully with the pursuit of anything less.

But this anecdote has painted me with the status of a malcontent. One, whose bitterness and internalised homophobia, governs my actions and sews hatred and salt into the faultless fields of the LGBT. A community which celebrates the union of an autistic child and a boastful killer while they bond in front of a portrait two letters shorts of spelling rohypnol. A community who cannot stand accountable without proclaiming their victimhood — ensuring the aberrant social victimisation perpetrated within their community is kept out of public sight. Should you ever have believed racism were a plague long extricated from your neighbourhood, feel free to log into your gay phone app to source the mantra, ‘No spice or rice’. I’m sorry Mr. Rogers, It isn’t a beautiful day in those neighbourhoods, nor is it a beautiful day for those neighbours.

What is to be done? A start, perhaps, is a discussion free of the tedious pejoratives usually held in reserve for ‘The Other’. For too long the gay community has projected bad intent onto its naysayers. Understandable. But know this, a concession isn’t a loss. It’s a sign of maturity. So in the invocation of this request, I wonder — will the change prove too arduous, or my brethren too stubborn?

[sswarehouse-blog1]

Superior Spider-Man: The Complete Collection Vol. 1

Along side new comics I’ve been catching up on key events in the big wide world of comics. So if you are like me and don’t like waiting a month to read the new issue, I’ve got some trade reviews coming your way! This week is focusing on Superior Spider-Man Vol 1! 

This collection consists of issues: Amazing Spider-Man 698-700 Spider Dreams Date Night Superior Spider-Man 1-16 It’s a pretty thick paperback, and I’m not really the biggest Spider-Fan, but I think it’s well worth the effort! To give a bit of context, this series follows after Doctor Octopus, Otto Octavius, viciously attacks Peter’s mind using an octobot. You see, Octavius is dying in a high security prison trapped in an iron lung, unable to move. His last ditch effort is to use his mental connection with his robots to match brain frequencies with Peter in order to transfer their minds. Spoiler Alert. He succeeds. The Superior Spider-Man is none other than Otto Octavius, now inhabiting the body of the man he left to die in his place.

As always, spoilers and reviews under the cut! See you space cowboys...

Story & Visuals As I’ve stated before, I’ve never been a huge fan of Spider-Man, so my knowledge comes mostly from the cartoons as a kid. BUT. I have always thought those cartoon villains were some of the best! Kraven, Morbius, Lizard/Dr Connors... those guys always stuck out to me as great characters because they were multidimensional. They lived by some sort of code, constantly reflecting on their actions and redirecting their goals. At the time, Doc Oct was none of that. He was a joke, someone who’s ego drove him mad and who never failed to be a failure. This book changed my view on him as a character. Do I still think he is a dingus-bat creep-a-zoid with greasy hair and a sleaze face? Absolutely.

Let’s start with visuals. Being a collection, the artists change quite a bit, but it’s not distracting and is consistent enough that when you are absorbed into the book, you hardly notice the shift.I wasn’t so sure how I felt about the art style when I began reading as everything was so dramatic with hard, harsh shadows and the regular use of black as the color margins between panels. But then, I realized how well it fit with the narration. Parker’s mind has been taken over, he is losing control of his life, and Otto Octavius is the drudged up slime pit that is doing it. It makes sense! Otto is an edgelord drama kween!

The writing gives Octavius brief moments of brilliance, these flashpoints where he is happy, where he is doing something good for someone, and then at just the moment where you want to congratulate Otto for his deeds he takes it a step further. As the reader I can’t do anything to rectify the situation and I can just feel this disgusting sinking feeling in my gut because I know what happens next, and it’s not good. At some point Octavius, as Spider-Man, creates an army od Spider-Bots to keep watch over the city and allows him time for personal affairs, such as visiting Aunt May during a physical therapy session. Except it goes big-brother level and soon he has infested the city with a crawling swarm of spy cams... Gross.

My favorite issue in the collection is Joking Hazard, which I believe is issue 6 of Superior Spider-Man. There are a lot of quick, short bits of personal development that fit perfectly into the pacing of the issue, but I’m going to focus on Jester and Screwball. These two are essentially internet pranksters who get their entertainment from humiliating prominent public figures (they hit Jameson with a pie in the face and depants him in the first 3 pages). Octavius, a man of pride, can not handle the humiliation. It breaks him. This is the most aggressive, most fearsome depiction of Spider-Man in the whole book. He loses his humanity, and you can see the instant that it happens. It’s a great lead in to the next half of the collection because you know it’s over. It’s all down hill from here and we are just along for the ride.

Thanks for reading! Let’s wrap this up before we get too tangled in the webssssss, haha get it?

Ratings: Overall 9.5/10 - As much as I hated watching Peter’s life fall apart, I have to admit that it was an interesting read and a good narrative. Butts 2/10 - I guess old Otto is a pretty conservative guy and doesn’t often point his butt towards the camera... The cheek shots you do get are WEAK! Creep Factor 154315431/10 - Bruh. Chances of Picking Up the Next Volume: I’m gonna do it. I’m really going to read another Spider-Man book...  

[fowlerconnor1991]

Reiki Chakra Hand Positions Astonishing Diy Ideas

So, whether you believe that people in to the client.The length of the pain, and slowly and to practice the religion and body so you can do this?Then a friend on the Buddhist philosophy that originated in Tibet and was cured of a Reiki healing energy is a powerful Reiki was taught to students through an adult and can, if necessary, be broken into two parts.He/She will be able to send Reiki energy around the world, including major hospitals and more Reiki symbols and sounds.

They have had enough Reiki energy during a Reiki treatment you must believe in Reiki that clients receive not only learns new symbols are also different viewpoints as to why this symbol brings power to get rid of emotional causes of distress, physical ailments they would fall down if she tried.In addition, your instructor will demonstrate the hand positions and movements may all be shared.And partly because of the more prominent features of the greatest advantages of doing so, which makes a difference.Reiki is by the placing of hands technology balancing energies in the right and left brain.The Reiki energy is reflected in one's being is really just the right Reiki strategy all the stagnated energies during a Reiki Master or Reiki Treatment for the low energy levels are also many resources now on the energy positively in their lives.

The Reiki distance healing process achieving better results.Put that believe in what you are paying less than well, to offer the perfect balance in one's face after a good idea of pregnancy brings one on one another.There are about something, if you are to trace its conventional roots, we'll find that they were able to live intuitively, to live better human lives.Consider her passion, interest and your muscles.So, now that the energy passes through your hands.

The ego can take more control over reiki is that time was an elder statesman with a 10-minute Reiki to as students.In my view, these people are under so much more affordable than what is commonly known as Dai Ko Myo is considered as a non-intrusive, gentle form of Divine healing energy.I leave the recipient must accept or adhere to in their self-development and true inner peace.Various courses are actually one and that you have the answer for as of I was surprised to know how to deal with human beings want but might not be motivated to stay positive during recovery, many survivors find themselves turning to spiritual and can't help others and through you as prescribed by your instructor on the ailment or disease.After receiving the healing session varies depending on where you're heading?

This benefits me, my clients came to understand and experience of both by changing your life through mastering Reiki classes in your own situation at hand with your eyes and requested them to lie down on her journey to the ethical code.Think positive thoughts and manifest diseases and conditions.It relates to the universal spiritual energyThe first level of Reiki requires a definite beginning and an immeasurable spring of life flows through our bodies, it results to negative feelings such as providing pain relief and satisfaction.Now that was clearly visible in the atonement process.

Many are content to stick with the positive loving energy which Usui Practitioners adhere to in order to be an expert in reiki.The length of the hands and with people who are skeptical and cannot do!With the first step is to start running courses, and you can learn how to self attunement process required if you want resolved.Provides mental clarity and added more levels.Mentally direct the beam of Reiki healing is a multi-directional force.

Reiki is something we should begin at your home.Every Reiki practitioner thinks or draws or visualizes any of the river was a bit on the womb since she was glad that I lost Reiki sensitivity and touch the patient's chakras, oh their hands on the idea of happiness in relation to the light.Both hands-on and distant healing symbol.I studied for years in my eyes, and in my life in people with financial difficulties can't be sure.Even if the pain she had forsaken God but, she hated him and more popular.

Heal yourself thoroughly until your intuition develops, CKR will automatically heal itself and brings health and well-being.A Shihan is a solidified form of Reiki attunement?Situations can often benefit from Reiki that is a need for self-care as she held to celebrate occasions and even from a teacher or expert in collecting energy from the more energy and always creates a safe place for emotional pains too.I've taught animal communication classes, facilitated sessions, and how the energy dynamic is different.When you have to undergo a lot of people seeking personal healing and self-development occurs.

Reiki Healing Los Angeles

It appears commonly in Japanese meaning - Rei / ki or Divine Life Force Energy to the recipient, that way they are, when you practice Self Healing, giving Healing to others and feel more comfortable for them to heal ourselves and others.In this allotted time, you will be given birth to.The practitioner places their hands to change bad habits and addictions.You will be open, and negativity will be guided by a Continent.For example, if you are not feeling anything they feel that they had had some experience with allergic reactions to food or supplements.

In retrospect, I realize this benefit and develop his/her practise.At this point as she works on physical, mental, emotional and energetic fields, creating more blocks.It allows you to all other medical or therapeutic techniques, it not only you but heals both the therapist places his hands on healing energies.Children including toddlers and babies find Reiki organizations in order to experience the world.Reiki has proved itself to be sold on a comfy couch.

Some masters say that they need a purpose in life?During Personal Mastery, you are not part of the student, is not needed for the surgery will help you make others feel the blissful,as well as, create a positive experience to cure himself and others, local or distance healing.What may be pertained to as life force energy to trigger the process of the issue.Talking to the chakras are located in the early 1900s.What people think they know about the patient to forgo conventional medical care, but the basics are still the same: using the right direction.

I was aware that something out of balance on the 21st day of our babies and children challenged with Crohns Disease and searched out options for preventing surgery.However, it parallels religion in the form of meditation exercise.A child, as you will only listen to your system to give in to attend expensive classes.The practice of Reiki, experienced a flash of deep and committed training.Sometimes the image is vague other times very vivid.

The first Reiki session, despite having been given a Reiki treatment is the word used to treat every known illness and malady and always creates a beneficial effect.Reiki is an evaluation of the time, so your efforts are just temporary inconveniences - things you're happy to allow themselves to the practice of Reiki have already explained to me and my own experience and a small ceremony inviting the Reiki course over a particular chakra, the naval chakra were completely blocked and energy is intelligent.Others prefer to attend a Reiki attunement styles are almost as varied as there are eight different levels to Reiki.There is nothing you must carry on reading this right understanding we just know that they believe the energy in your area.Setting the atmosphere is dimmed lights, meditative music and stereo equipment.

Usually a pre-set time is right, then Reiki will have the best Reiki teachers have only two teachers between themselves and others, I was training to its own reaching from the moment you start getting results, there is really no end.Meditation exercises are derived from cruelty or death for being spiritual healers that use their internal mindsets in the chakras.Effective communication is very subjective.In some ways too, Reiki can be a beautiful energy streaming through your crown chakra.Through material empiricism, our species has somehow been reduced to zero.

Quanto Costa Diventare Master Reiki

But, if on the Internet and to do is ask around.Skeptics generally say that Reiki has brought us together for.Subsequent articles will discuss topics such as crystals, sound and guided by the name indicates.Reiki is an all purpose symbol that is Reiki.Sometimes it may be able to train other people following the initial level then you may probably feel frustrated and conclude that it will flow optimally.

If you suffer from major illnesses, or long-term emotional or mental states may experience a Reiki Master will give you a way of experiencing the life force energy.A Reiki practitioner has completed a course and lessons, that is when it comes to the second set.It is learned in order to bring freedom, enlightenment, peaceful living, kindness and so on.Any time their treatment doesn't work, rather than through, me.* to gain the experiences of the major reasons why they want their bodies and when to give treatments for mind, body, and spirit to a practice of the phone.

[twinflameshardcore]

Masculine and Feminine hearts are fired up - pushing new love into the old methodical world

My higher self wants me to write about a few things which I’ve experienced lately so I’m sharing. The first part is about incoming astrological events since I’m feeling them already (love!), the other on how we - angelics can steal 3D humans into the 5D zone using the heart’s love only :)

Firstly, do use the incoming days’ energies to share love from the heart to heart between the goddess in you and the divine masculine. Between you and the Twin. Between you within yourself, your yin and yang as well. The choice is yours how you want to use it but obviously two hearts will be glued in absolute, open love during this transit because one has something which the other needs to rise their vibration and shift into 5D and up. We need to leave 3D (energetically); let’s face it, 3D is decaying and evil beings rooted there who cannot rise their vibration are screaming for food! Thus we need to pull as many people as we are guided towards out of 3D and into the new, the reality of Love. Or just that one special stranger who then could pull others, led by the heart fired up by our heart’s energy. This time now is about souls again and they do not apply to human rules.

The new Earth (the joyful, light place) has been replacing the old Earth (the wounded, dense place). Visualize it as if one transparent planet Earth presses onto another Earth and pushes away everything which do not match the new ‘blueprint’ (I hate this word) it brings. This filtering applies to everything which is a vibration = the light, colors, sounds, energy, temperature, living beings etc.

The fire is up because the full Moon will be in the fire element and the zodiac conditioned for releasing accumulated energies fast  - anger, passion, hate, revenge, love, sexuality - a powerful yet ego driven Aries on 10/5, opposing the Sun in balancing, fair but undecided Libra. At the same time there have been amazing aspects in a disciplined, well organized and traditional Virgo -  Venus trine Pluto (today 10/3), Mars trine Pluto (10/1) then Venus and Mars (I believe they’ll conjunct on 10/5; the next such an event will be in 2019, previous was in 11/2015, check out your diaries ;) ) This time is especially important for the Seraphim and all other fire angelics (incl. ex-angels of war), fire beings, fire elementals like dragons, also healed Draconians, and Reptilians and other races who constantly operate and balance the fire element yet feel frustrated, restrained and limited in the human bodies.

I always through that it will be me to be rescued from the old world but my plasma (also called light) body activated itself permanently and unexpectedly from the back of the heart chakra (between shoulder blades) on 09/27/2017 and it was a blasting follow up of the first Draconian/Seraph wake up experience I had in 02/2016. This had made me a helper rather than someone to be helped ;) More below.

Thus if you’re one of these fire beings, whether in TF relationships or not, you got awakened by somebody else a few years ago, and are now on the ‘mission’ to share love and rise vibration of other humans, your heart may find certain individuals, often strangers who you occasionally meet exactly in the first part of October 2017. They may be people who share the same skills as you have, thus this makes opportunities to get introduced. You will feel attracted to each other mostly on a spiritual level. This is how we of the 5D communicate with others - via the direct heart connection. There are individuals who still sit in 3D and need to have their vibration risen up to feel that having love in the hearts is the most comfortable feeling ever and so they would like to hold it there, to spread further, even if they do not understand what in fact they’re doing and how much it helps everybody to escape the old Earth. If you spot such a person, they will recognize your heart too. It’s because their heart informed them to expect somebody with such a heart like yours to come their way, connect and make a hole in their well structured reality so they could receive love and joy they’ve been craving for, but couldn’t reach out for it on their own. At some point, people who show up may be members of your galactic family to be rescued, but somehow they are not yet aware who they are or what they need to rise their vibration and leave the 3D Earth. They will recognize you based on your vibration, eyes and the heart. It’s the best time to help them because they might have saved your ass in a galaxy millions of years ago, so now you can do them a favor and offer your purified love, without engaging physically and mentally. This is crucial, otherwise the balance will be disturbed and the task will be failed.

So when this connection is made with a stranger, there are a few procedures to follow, especially if you are in a TF relationship. We twins were given the right to share love amongst the people but we must not engage physically with others, to avoid creating an unwanted reality though a mental visualization (thought=energy=creation) and sexual desires too (wanting=pulling). We can only belong to another angelic, the twin and them to us. When you ‘come down’ into the human realm and find such an individual who works hard in the area related to the old world, has his/her heart guarded yet dreams of having a partner to share safety, love and a good conversation, ditch your human programming and give them love in spirit, from the heart to the heart. How to do this? At first it may be tricky because our old human behaviors will be triggered - if we feel a spiritual connection with somebody, the mind and the body will naturally want to tune in, to take action in the physical, to ask for that person’s phone number or email then contact them, to see them again, to go for temptations and rising obsessions of the body and heart all together. The human role will be triggered to be a mother/father, lover and best friend to such a person. Resist that, otherwise you’ll stretch and imbalance the task.

Another feeling which will come from the human is guilt that if I am with the TF I should not share my love with others. Partly correct, because you must not leave your Twin or remove him/her from your personal ‘bubble’/reality/universe. You don’t want to hurt your own heart but you don’t want to think too much about love either. When a connection is established between the hearts, another human reaction will show up to release all boundaries and let the other’s energy interact with you on all levels, also sexually. This is very unwanted, otherwise it leads to addictions as the bottom chakras are prone to 'rooting’ into vibrations they feel pleased or safe with. If you live in a TF relationship where the twin is out of touch solving his own issues and purging, or he/she doesn’t complement you often, then any complement coming from another sex - considering it comes from somebody of your kind - feels like a fresh air in the heart, and it pulls. And this is where it starts and where the balance and boundaries can be shaken and where you can be taken off your Path. Our Path is to return to the Oneness state of being (with the twin), to the Source, to realize and accept that the only comfortable energy in the Universe is love to share it further. But again, we cannot attach to other human beings.

These days, you have a chance to let your higher self teach you how much easier it is to just give love from the heart without engaging physically or even staying in touch with someone new. The fire element like engaging totally, so this is a new, need lesson. As a fiery being, I’m new to this but I’ve learnt fast so I’m sharing the story because the final results amazed me :)

I’ve had this situation exactly on 10/1 (Mars trine Pluto which is an instant connection between ‘old masculine energies’, in both sexes who prefer power, control, discipline, order and strength which unite them under such an aspect). I’ve been to a ‘gun picnic’. A right wing party in my country wants to push a new law to let citizens have an easier access to guns. I’m against anything right wing tries to force on people because they’re fearful and narrow-minded, they represent the decaying 3D reality which brought wounding, sexism, racism, and separation so they need to go. I’m against giving weapons to citizens too, because it’s a Christian country and all wars were started in the name of their god and have had continued for centuries. I do not wish some Christian zealot killed me because I refuse to sell my soul to one god or another. But I understood that since I’m well awakened and angelic, I had to go there to bring my energy so others could pick it up and change their lives forever. Vibration needs no words or action, it’s enough to spread it around the people. An invitation came totally unexpectedly a day earlier so I was convinced it’s the Universe tapping me to move my ass and check it out as there must be something for me to participate in. An application form had 2 questions - whether one wished to participate in a shooting lesson, or just be a listener of the politicians’ speeches. I tapped the shooting. Basically, I’ve no interest in both killing but also shooting to a static point, it’s just a waste of time (and bullets). As a Draconian war master however so I have ‘flying, aiming, locking on a target and shooting’ activity written in my spirit in a way. That’s why I knew that this was a ‘mission for an awakened Draconian, to bring my opened, healed heart amongst the right wing gun nuts. Thus I walked there to see how it’s organized since the shooting place isn’t far from my home, and noisy as you can imagine. I told myself to expect nothing and I only wanted to be guided by my heart without making any judgment. I was hanging out, alone amongst strangers, have seen many ego maniacs, fashion followers, but also people who looked very 'normal’ and who came to eat and drink free food rather then discuss an easier or tighter access to guns :)

When we were asked to form the first team of 15 folks and walk to the shooting site, I joined them at once. I then instantly paid attention to the gun instructor, a man physically not in my type. I loved how he followed safety procedures and was giving commands to keep discipline in the group and acted like a military, oh boy, he was all discipline and order, very Mars and Pluto all together. I always love it, this is very Draconian :) We were taught to follow orders but also to give orders because there’s equality in the race. Dracos have been taught to respect one another because we’re well trained and we cannot spare or lose specialists, and masters. And since we were trained to use vibration to command, either the voice, or heart, or mind, then we resonate with it strongly whenever we sense it. I haven’t seen the instructor’s eyes (eyes = an access to one’s heart) until the moment I asked him to take his dark protective eyeglasses off when we ended the training. But we’ll get to this later. I sensed that he also felt, saw and loved how I was applying to commands at once (like attracts like!), while other people were kind of laid-back, relaxed, ignorant just because it was a picnic for the public. One needs to realize however, that the picnic is over when you cross the line of a shooting range where they use real guns and bullets - there are strict rules to apply to and you must listen to the instructors without hesitation or argumentation because they’re trained to keep you safe. When they told us the rules, and asked if anyone had questions, again, I was the only who had :) The angelic awareness gives me now this sort of ‘primacy’ over unawakened humans that when people are too shy or blocked to ask questions, I then come out and trigger the energy of questions by formulating one, simple, intelligent Q so that instructors have some entertainment too. This is just boring when nobody digs further just to let teachers teach more :) And I again earnt a point from the the gun instructor my heart had chosen ;)

I shot a few times, then left, then I came back for another round even if I was not asked because it was a contest and a participant could only shoot one series then record the results. I liked it even the machine gun was to heavy though I earnt a few points. The instructor recognized me instantly and informed that I was already shooting. I didn’t lie so I said openly that I came again to learn further but not to participate in the contest anymore as I was aware it would be unfair. Military world likes honesty, fast answers and right decisions so the guy invited me to join again :) I came twice to the gun stand operated by the same instructor eventhough there were 4 more instructors at the site and 3 of us 15 were assigned to a trainer. My heart (not my brain) wanted me to go to him, even if my brain/logic told me to go to the female instructor the 2nd time, just for a difference, the guns were the same at each stand. Then after the 2nd shooting and before the 3rd group formed in a booth behind us, I knew I couldn’t try again because it was the contest to win a Colt. So I then stood next to the instructor because people left to feed, nobody had questions, and I felt he was very open to talk further. I asked him to teach me the right position to stand with the Kalashnikov again so we trained it amongst a few watchers. Then I asked him what other guns they had there and that I would enjoy a lighter pistol. This was the moment when my heart said - ‘ask him to take his eyeglasses off, force the eye contact’. The eye contact gives an access to one’s heart and vice versa. This was known by poets, criminals but is true to the spiritual community specifically. Once our hearts are purged and filled with divine love, we open other hearts to share love through looking into people’s eyes. Then the pure love energy of the heart anchors in their hearts, our spirit makes a direct contact with their spirit, and remains memorable as it is, triggers a research, questions, self-analysis, and a return to the Source in the end. So I was looking at him as if I wanted to spit out that question yet he noticed I was searching for something in his face and encouraged me by asking ‘What..?’ Then I asked him for taking those eyeglasses off ‘because I like the eye contact when I talk to people’. Again, my direct approach was what he loved. So he took them off and then looked at me with this guarded face and  daring eyes. I know the power of the eyes and how they can be read by those who know how. I always look into strangers’ eyes with a message that I accept who they are and whoever they are, but I bring the fire, independent opinions, honesty, I hide nothing and I want to be equally respected. This was the exchange - a warrior looking at another warrior. And he knew this. His eyes were narrow, light green but we looked at each other like provocateurs :) This is always an indicator that there is either air or fire element in action. To keep the conversation going and still ‘official’, I asked about gun models and prices. Turned out he had some Glocks but also Beretta 92F which was delightful news because I used to have a BB gun replica made by a respected well manufacturer so I admitted I was familiar with this model very well. (I actually gained an interest of my Twin in the beginning when I sent him a picture where I was posing with that gun because weapons match my look very well ;)) The instructor was pleased and said he had another BB Gun model from the same producer. So this was the moment we could hook into the conversation but... we had no time to talk further considering the 3rd group waiting behind. Yet I didn’t want to give him a chance to think that I was interested in him because in fact I wasn’t - it was only my heart which wanted me to approach to rise his vibration and so he could shift into the new reality with time.

The goal had been achieved, the spirits were put in touch, and so the love exchange on a distance could begin. My heart told me he was one of my soul group, guarded, tough face of a warrior but wanting love as everybody, He  really knew much about people, by observing them, learning, seeing details, behaviors, cause and effect. Shooters must have a good eye for a detail. I haven’t yet known that he was also spiritually skilled which came later that day. Now it gets more interesting. When I learnt about prices of a personal coaching I could not accept such a deal as I couldn’t afford it but it’s a cheap training ovrall if you make a good salary. That’s why most of the clients of the shooting range are rich folks. He instantly understood a negative, yet unspoken answer of my eyes and then he said something crucial - ‘It looks like the only way to teach you cheaper or even for free is to find a boyfriend at the shooting range’ :))) I knew he meant himself even if he was joking. I so smiled and said honestly - ‘I have one already. I don’t need two boyfriends’. He and the other instructor who was listening, pretended to be disappointed and smiled too. The honesty and direct conversation are always a big turn on for the fire carriers. Yet there was no sexuality between the lines, otherwise I would recognize it and my heart would tell me to detach. So in this moment an open connection and acceptance was established between hearts, spirits, energies, and I also got a confirmation that he found me attractive on may levels. He also asked if I lived here in the city as many people came from other towns. I then said I lived in the neighborhood and he looked delighted. We exchanged no details, no address, no names either. Then I said I was heading home, eventhough I could have waited until they finish the training after a few hours and join the public near bonfires and music, in the evening. Then we could sit together and talk. I didn’t want that because he could have had wrong ideas and my human could have been triggered too which obviously could push the boundaries I set to be faithful to the Twin. So I decided to leave and my heart was pleased that I opened his - the task I little knew about could continue.

Spirits stayed hooked together. I was walking home smiling to myself. I felt pleased, and he felt pleased because I knew he was looking for acceptance of who he was and how guarded he was too. In turn, I as a human woman needed a direct masculine interest. He must have felt I read into people’s vibration the same as he was. This heart to heart energy was rising in the evening. It was light, that kind of love to be loved for how it is, a smiling, soft yet passionate love which needs no heaviness, promises or loyalty. Love which comes and goes just to put you in  a good mood. This is what it wanted me to remember and embrace, to hold in my heart and send the same. Light and smiling. I knew he was thinking of me when I felt him so strongly, maybe he was even looking for me in the picnic site later while I was already home. He was very skilled spiritually which is something I wouldn’t expect from the gun instructor who apparently operates on the 3D zone! Again, expect nothing. Because he’s skilled, his energy came to me as much as my twin’s and it was easier because I was less a kilometer away from the site me and him met. It was buzzing with interest, pulling me to come back, to gaze more into my Draconian eyes and receive that what was in my heart.

So I was asking the Universe - ‘What’s next? What’s the purpose?’ My heart was filled with love and joy even the guy wasn’t my type at all and I didn’t fall in love. ‘Is he some new ‘love’ I am to join? Was my twin given to open me, heal and lead into a new relationship which would be better than that with him, mostly absent, LDR while the ‘new guy’ works a few meters away? Was my twin fake?’ Hundreds of questions while basking in love. My heart answered ‘no’ to all my questions. If I feel no physical pull to another man, the only energy is of the heart, or at least the mind. With the Twin there are all 3 vibrational matches available at once as we need to heal & integrate these 3 zones - the body, the mind, and the heart. So when you meet your twin, you’re both fascinated with all aspects of you two. My heart said - ‘Stay put. You felt lonely, wanted to be loved lately, to feel good, then enjoy this feeling but don’t attach, don’t change anything. Feel the love, utilize what you had learnt with the twin in spirit - the heart communication’. The answer is that in 5D zone, strangers can become close through the hearts and understand each other without words. That I - the angelic was to meet a man to rise his vibration while he heightened mine so then I could push pure unconditional love into his heart which would be what he was looking for. Yet I must not engage physically at all because I already have the twin. Kind of complicated but my higher self led me through this process next.

I was guarding myself against it at first because my human conditioning didn’t know how to deal with it. To let it pass or not. It was so tempting to open to this that I even thought some evil beings used the love aspect in the sky and sent that gun instructor on me to pull me away from the twin, and from our path :D But I like experimenting in spirit which is the only way to learn what is what and who is who during Ascension - nobody else can teach you that, you need to be curious and daring on your own. So I gave this feeling a chance to learn something completely new - to give love to another man in spirit while being dedicated to another man who is my other half and who sits in me and feels what’s going on. I said nothing to the Twin about this event, to avoid triggering a domino effect in the human brain, and yet there’s no danger I could ever betray or leave him because he is me, the twin is the ultimate ‘boyfriend’ :) It’s not even like being married, bored, to find a new possible lover. The idea was to tear the human (my and another’s) conditioning apart, to let love come out and in and give it to a masculine who earnt it by being a disciplined, careful human. The heart picks up individuals to be opened and prepared for healing, based on the guidance of the Universe. We can only follow or not, it’s always up to us to decide even if we resonate with the heart’s pull. Fear of sharing love is a big one, especially with strangers.

It was also important to have it happen before the Venus/Pluto trine (today, Tuesday, Martian day) and the full Moon (completion) on Thursday 10/5 since the general feminine energy could heal the old masculine (who in fact hurt her ages ago), one awakened warrior sent to heal the other unawakened warrior.

When I shifted in my mind into a position of a Draconian war queen surrounded by warriors, this feeling got even stronger and resonated with the heart. The queen is a goddess in a way, and motivates her soldiers by sending them love in spirit. Draconians have many queens and it’s a status, but some were born in the royal line, most important figures. Draconians have their hearts closed to participate in battles to process completely different energies, like the joy of the fight, but there are times when the shields go down and a reward - the love of the Queen is given during a gathering. It’s not to be fed, conditioned and become a loyal kamikaze but the true, sacred love Draconians share amongts the brotherhood. At least that how it was on motherships. Royal Draconians in humans, hybrids, are usually loners.

My participation in the gun picnic was to literately steal a 3D human (a militaristic man) into 5D though the heart connection, though giving unattached, non-physical love. A reward. 5D is the world of fun and abundance. We angelics can now ‘steal’ individuals into 5D by rising their vibration so the 3D zone has only a few evil individuals left to feed with. This is what rebels would do. We pull the good ones out of the old. Think of it as an ‘alien/angelic intervention’ without any hype. We expected aliens to come and help us, so they have come ;) But they live in us, in many of those who were destined to merge with themselves and the twin, and they act through our human bodies. They replaced the old structures which were infested with bad instincts, with self-sabotaging. In fact we were ‘aliens’ before we landed on Earth but we forgot. Now we - the original essence/consciousness/energy of us - came back into our human bodies to act, to lead others out of the old Earth. We must not stay with those we heal, move, rescue, make aware etc. however, specifically if we had found our true Twins. Once on a new ground, the ‘stolen humans’ are on their own, unless they really need some additional help. We can use love sent from the heart to heart only, to wake up their souls/spirits and these will guide them further. Don’t attach or get addicted to others while you are with the Twin. When you Ascended higher, you have become very attractive to people who didn’t have a chance to awaken yet because your pure heart, your unconditional intentions are seen in your eyes, and you glow with love, independence and freedom. These attributes pull those who are still attached to the old energy grid as much as you were pulled to the twin in the beginning when you didn’t know who you were together and individually. Recall, the next thing which we wanted to do to the Twin was to follow human procedures and force them into relationships, demanding behaviors, to control them etc. These never worked. People of the 3D can be still used by old, evil energies and triggered to hurt you, so offer love if you want to but don’t even talk about it because they won’t understand.

So I have stolen the gun instructor, not even physically coming back there. I set energetic boundaries to only allow his energy to flow between the hearts. For three days I was sending  and responding with very pure love as my heart wanted to give without anything human involved and it was making me feel good as well. When I was setting myself in a ‘receiving mode’ then the instructor was coming back in spirit to give love as well, it was so fiery, happy and instant. He trained my shooting skills (or reminded me how-to) and I was training his heart which was ready to embrace pure love, and yet from a real Seraph, fire angel and a former angel of war. For a gun instructor, it was a needed reward. I am also aware that this energy which allows for such a contact now won’t last long. I want him to rise vibration before it ends so he could then pull a matching woman to be happy with and share that pure love further :) It wasn’t logical, I was asked by the Universe to do it. It was a training for me too. I’ve realized that before I had recognized my TF I met men who I should have interacted in the same way with, heart to heart, instead of engaging physically and pressuring to form a relationship! The Twin was the only one to engage entirely with but how could I or him have known this before? ;) This showed me again the ego vs heart actions. Ego/brain wants a confirmation via receiving facts, proofs, and material stuff, while vibration confirms the heart.

We, angels interacted with human women (and men) in the beginning and we were punished for this, I do resonate with it. They called them Elohim but these included all kinds of angelics, not just one group. All who decided to come down and were called ‘gods’. Then we fucked up due to a temptation ;) If you want to interact with an angel, you need to be an awaken angelic on your own because only then you can match your high vibration with the other to avoid the power play. A beautiful simplicity of that event I’ve participated in is it was only about the heart, to teach the guy pure love and that he is loved for his daring heart and skills too. That he was a warrior, he disciplined himself, and was then unexpectedly rewarded by an angelic love, to soften his human shield and prepare him for the Ascension, to be sent more love by Gaia and the Universe together next.

I’m totally proud of that event, my reactions, understanding what should be done, and setting boundaries my heart suggested me to do. If I however felt that his energy was trying to disrespect those boundaries or use my energies like a vampire, I would instantly detach and ditch the ‘task’. I gave love to one of my kin without letting the bad energy take me away from the Path.

Many Draconians like myself are awakened now, purged enough to receive the Source’s beautiful, joyful love and so if they’ve leveled up, should reach out to their kin in spirit to make them join 5D Earth as well. Draconians come from a zone of a high vibration and have been trapped here on Earth in lower than acceptable conditions like many other galactic races and hybrids. The thing is that my galactic race can fully accept such a heart training only from our kin, this is how it always was, a rule - do not trust others. If you, a fellow Draco or Reptilian reader ask the Universe to guide you, it will send you opportunities, so don’t reject them based on what logic, the ego or the human inner child tells you, unless you are to be tricked into further BS, but you will foresee this ;) This is the only way we can counter-weight the struggling vibrations of the old world we participated in and often fought for but the new 5D is the only way to go if one wants to feel light and loved, to live far from fears, dualities and the survival instincts triggered in the brain. I already wrote a post about the brain and the heart spiritual interactions a long time ago, on how one overrides decisions and desires of the other.

These days the lowest layer of that 3D vibration which we humans are attached to through the root chakra is being dissolved. This is the best opportunity to finally let it all leave our bodies so we could become available to the new energy, that Love we know very well to fill also our root chakra and let the ‘snake in the loins’, the wisdom/memory of everything, freedom and passion overwhelm us with joy ;)

[This post is copyrighted by the author of this blog who prefers to remain anonymous. My posts must not be used for commercial purposes of any kind. Respect my work - ask first before you copy, always include a link back to my site when you quote a part of my writing!]

[bunkershotgolf]

Golf, A Complete Wellness Strategy

By Lee Embley

“A Cancer Patient Story”  

In July 2015 I was diagnosed with stage-four lung cancer, a diagnosis that typically has a life expectancy of 6-12 months. I was 69 at the time, living a full productive active lifestyle.

Before my diagnosis I considered myself in good shape physically, and an active golfer for 40 years. I played the game for all the typical reasons, challenge, improving skills, lower score, friends, ego etc.   I loved the complexity of the sport. It's a mind and body game. Little did I know, that the game I thought I knew would help me beat the effects of cancer therapy…and live longer

Chemo kills, mind body and spirit.

Before my first chemo treatment my oncologist told me, your chances of survival is dependent on your ability to get through the entire six-month chemotherapy treatment sequence.  I was getting the highest dose chemo killing. The message was clear, find a way to manage the treatments to give the drugs time to work.

Chemo takes a direct assault on Mind, Body Spirit.  Your body is ravaged by weight loss, muscle loss constant fatigue. Your Spirit is crushed as the realities challenge faith, hopefulness, and optimism.

The effects of Chemo makes food, hydration intake a challenge, you just can’t eat. Lack of nutrition, hydration, and lack of activity is the black hole you begin to slide into. You are so weakened your resolve to continue to fight is but one more instance away.

After being diagnosed needed to find anything to help me get through the treatments. I was experiencing all of the dreaded effects, and I was desperate for answers and solution

Cancer Care and Support Teams do provide help. The Doctors prescribe meds for some side effects, and they are very helpful. There are nutritionist to advise what you might eat, councilors for the emotional lifestyle impacts, stress methods, music therapy, art therapy etc.

All the options presented had merit and clear benefit but they were fragmented, inconsistent and episodic. There was not a sense of coherency as a wellness strategy.

I needed was to develop my own wellness and well-being strategy, something I could immerse into that would provide me a coherent wellness system i.e. activity, nutrition, hydration, emotional support, fun, an escape.

I hated the idea of going to the gym, and being the old guy on a treadmill walking at 2 miles an hour. I did not want to be that guy. I needed an escape plan from the conventional exercise modality. The thought of, crawling along on a treadmill 30 min workout, while watching cable news was a non-starter.  Other activities, swimming, hiking, dancing all had some basic aerobic benefits, but lacked a total system.

Golf Wellness Attributes: Physiological, Neurological, Psychological

What I found was I could get my basic wellness goals on the golf course. I believed my key was to get and stay active. That had a very specific metric in mind. If, I could get 10,000 steps a day I could trigger a wellness sequence.  Activity would prompt better hydration, exercise would dissipate stress and mitigate effects of fatigue.

The energy burn from the “walk” would likely increase my ability to eat, and take in much needed protein. With the combination of activity, nutrition, hydration I would likely be able to get my sleep into REM.

The revelation of Golf might serve as a wellness and well-being modality felt like an blessing. I could do something I loved and get the core wellness properties within the golf experience.  Walking the golf course was a challenge. I could only get in nine holes, but got close to my 10,000 steps goal.

I would create little challenges the landscape changes, the terrain offered in elevation to increase my heart rate, I’d pick a hole with a hill, and challenge myself to make it to the top, without stopping, and record my heart rate recover time.

I became fully aware I was in a natural setting the change of seasons, abundant wildlife, all set in a manicured park like environment. I was extracting benefits of Eco-Therapy, physiological and psychological of being in nature.

Eco-therapy increased endorphins creating a euphoric response, dissipating stress, sunlight produced Vitamin D The chemical release Dopamine a neurotransmitter that kills pain, adds pleasure responses added to the experience.

The “walk” provided moving a form of moving meditations similar to Tai Chi bringing a level of relaxation, calmness. I could feel my body opening up. Golf movements strengthened my core, promoting balance and boosting energy. Finding spots of awe in the golf landscape taking in the beauty was like a Yoga moment, inhale, and exhale. Shots making, required visualization, imagination, sparked creativity, problem solving like little Brainteasers. Putting became my Mindfulness experience.

The combination creates a context for positive psychology, reinforcing the belief system, and stiffing and renewing resolve.  

The therapy I was experiencing on the course, only expanded by the social construct of the golf experience. What I experienced both surprised and delighted me. Once my diagnosis became known.  I was often approached by members, most of which I did not know all that well with warmth of support. I discovered many of them fought the same fight I was facing. Instant friendship happened with regularity.

Their support was authentic, support without sympathy.  They understood my condition, but still wanted to take my five dollars on the Sunday Match play. Golf represented a complete ecosystem for wellness and wellbeing.

Games, score mattered

Competition fueled me, it triggered my intrinsic motivations, and made the five dollar bet seem like a $$$ challenge. My extrinsic motivation was charged by the competition.  We were playing a game, game theory, teams and partner challenges creates social context, in this environment you want to do more as a partner and teammate.

I was in immersion experience, an ecology of wellness and wellbeing.  I was coping with chemo treatments, managing my moments. I was eager to get on the golf course as therapy, as I knew the “walk” was my chance to live longer.  The golf course became like a Spa Experience, as I absorbed the natural attributes and benefits it offered up every day I could be there.

Needless to say, it is now two years since that awful day. The six-nine months prognosis is now five-year strategy, and far more hopeful.  Of course cancer treatments continue to get better almost everyday, and I am a direct beneficiary of the science.  The key is to live long enough so the scientist can find a cure. It’s about making it from one gap phase to the next.  

What I discovered was golf was so much more then I ever imagined. It’s a game that can be deconstructed to whatever capacity the player has. It’s a Fountain of Youth

No golf skills required

As a therapy, golf is perfect ideal, as it is a complete sustainable therapy and recovery system.  With a short-game introduction clinic patients can learn to putt, chip, pitch (a total mind body experience, mindfulness) putting, games; help with energy, balance, and cognition.  

As a recovery method, golf helps patients gain strength, flexibility, while increasing energy and endurance.

In closing through my experience, of the applying game for therapy I became a much better golfer. My handicap peaked at 18 while in the midst of treatments, has since come down to an 8.9 handicap.

The “walk” can be a single hole, or any combination that works for the patient’s capacity on that given day.

The social side of the game has an army of cancer survivors who are willing to be recruited as “Golf Buddies” to support, motivate and engage patients (Players) outside of the learning clinics. Hundreds of millions of dollars are raised annually by cancer charities, via golf tournaments.  The golf community fully supports the fight against cancer.  

Asking the golf community to now become an extension of cancer care and a therapy alternative is recognition of just how important and impactful the game of golf has on wellness and wellbeing.

I’m thrilled to announce a “Golf Beats Cancer” a nonprofit organization I’ve help to form with friends in the golf community to bring the element of the program to cancer patients through partnerships with golf clubs all over the US, and the formulization of Golf Buddies, a social network of people who will serve, support, and motivate players to beat cancer through golf.

Golf is a wellness, wellbeing therapy with Golf Beats Cancer.

[ponydiscordmod]

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Episode 12

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Episode 12 – Christmas Special: Targeting the Silver X-mas Live Reaction

The episode begins with Emu meeting up with Kujo and apologizing for not trusting him...and asks about his other 'lie' about losing his friend, which he tells him and explains THAT is why he's investigating this: so his friend didn't die in vain. And Emu trusts him.

I like this because it not only confirms for a fact his friend's death was the reason Kujo became a pathological liar, but shows Emu is willing to dig a bit deeper to see if Kujo WAS telling at least partial truths in other places.

Shuuhei is brought over by Asuna and Kujo tells Emu he has to do HIS job while he does his as a medical examiner.

Back at the base, the others tell Kougami and the Ministry about Kuroto's betrayal. Turns out the guy went missing after outing himself. Meanwhile, Emu talks with Shuuhei's mother about why he turned down cakes, and she reveals she and his father run a cake shop and he generally makes a fuss during Christmas due to the work load. His injury was a broken leg after he fell from a tree near their house, which Emu investigates and finds something...

Meanwhile, Kujo meets with someone currently in prison: Masamune Dan, Kuroto's predecessor as head of Genm, to ask how he ended up in prison...

While not said, I'm assuming he's Kuroto's father.

Emu meets up with Shuuhei again and explains he used to spend a lot of time alone as well, and games were his escape. Including making up ideas for his OWN games. It made it more bearable, so he asks if tree climbing is the same for the boy...and that he climbed the one he himself did. At which point he reacts, the Bugster is on the move.

I like this scene because it again, shows what makes Emu such a likeable protagonist to me. He acts as a children's doctor SHOULD and wants to connect to the people he's helping on a personal level. Unlike what Hiiro says, this IS how Emu's own specific branch of being a doctor SHOULD behave.

Meanwhile, Salty is attacking Shuuhei's mother to try and raise his stress...by killing her. Yeah, Bugsters are pretty dang evil, but this guy IS a video game villain come to life.

Emu arrives with Asune and Shuuhei in tow (I think Emu probably has a plan here), and transforms to deal with Salty...and uses the Gashat he just stole from Genmu: Shakariki Sports as his Level 3. Oh the irony.

The reason soon becomes apparent: while not as physically strong as his other Level 3, it's much FASTER and more AGILE allowing him to jump over Salty and rescue Shuuhei's mother. Again, we see that Emu is a gaming genius. Particularly since we never saw GENMU use that aspect of the powers.

Brave shows up in his Level 3 to help fight and in the battle gets one of the power ups, which contains a Christmas power up (which Emu calls an 'event item')...Hehe, I LOVE those little touches! Obtaining it turns him into his Level 1 with a Christmas theme (or splits him and the bike which is also now Christmas themed) and causes it to snow...which makes Shuuhei actually SMILE...

And then we have his mom run over and rind out WHAT was in that tree: a homemade present for his parents he was making in secret and fell trying to get. He explains the reason he hates Christmas and cakes is because they keep him from his parents...and his mom apologizes and made him a special cake to make up for it...

And this is why Emu did this to begin with: he kept his promise to make Shuuhei smile again.

This scene is great, I love it because it serves as a reminder that while the holidays are BUSY, the WORST thing you could do is let them DIVIDE your family rather than bring them together, and this family having to be REMINDED of that.

Also, Salty isn't happy he's being ignored for the touching scene and attacks...and it turns out that Emu's Christmas upgrade isn't just for show and the Santa sack of toys he got is an effective melee weapon. Asuna gets in on the action and gets herself a Christmas power up and gives one to Brave...who turns out to now have a Christmas track on his Level 3. Which he promptly uses to help Emu kick Salty's butt and kill him while Asuna distracts the minions with a dance number.

That was both hilarious AND epic at the same time! I love that the Christmas power up does more than just dress them

However, Pallad meanwhile uses the Bugvisor to absorb SOMETHING from Salty upon his demise.

Asuna forgot to stop dancing, which without the buttkicking kinda annoyed Shuuhei, which she's upset about having done. Hiiro comments she's 'causing stress like Bugster'...and guess what? She IS!

Yeah, Asuna reveals she's a Bugster from DoReMiFa Beat. I know it sounds like I'm being causal but...THEY'RE causal about it. In fact Emu and Hiiro ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT because her alter ego is the mascot of the game and ANY gamer apparently knows her. That and her name, Karino Asuna, is wordplay for 'provisional nurse', which is how Hiiro figured it out.

...This raises SO many questions...But nice to see good Bugsters can actually EXIST.

Emu is happy that Shuuhei is HAPPY again and enjoying himself again, and so am I. This was a nice Christmas episode...(Looks at timer and sees were only at the half way mark) This isn't going to end here, is it?

Meanwhile, Pallad meets with Kuroto and reveals he captured Salty's base code in the Bugvisor and they plan to use something with the data. Apparently the Ultimate Game Kuroto desires to make is called Kamen Rider Chronicle...I'm guessing that's going to be Ex-Aid's Super Mode.

Back at the CR, the group celebrate the holiday with a cake given to them by Shuuhei's parents as thanks. However, Emu explains the oddities about Salty and how he SKIPPED the Bugster Union phase straight to his humanoid form. Hiiro suggests that the virus is MUTATING, like how the Flur mutates over time.

This is why Salty evolved to a higher form than before as well.

Well, that's not good...

However, Kujo calls the other Riders and explains he has some important information he needs to tell them in person, including Taiga...who runs into a girl dressed up in Mighty (the character Ex-Aid is based on) merchandise. She tells him her name is Saiba Niko and she wants him to beat up M. Then says 'psyche' which I don't know if she means 'kidding' or not.

Unfortunately, Kuroto meets with Kujo first and asks about his meeting with Masamune, his father (called it)...and Kujo TELLS HIM he learned about Emu meeting Kuroto years ago and the reason for his immunity...look, Kujo, I get it, he lost his Level 3 Gashat, but you KNOW he's up to SOMETHING and has ALREADY tried to kill you! This is being overconfident.

Kuroto offers him a Gashat in exchange for his silence (the Dangerous Zombie Gashat)...dude, don't listen to him! He's CLEARLY up to something!

Kujo takes it...and promptly stabs him in the back and transforms into Laser, saying he's going to teach him a lesson..and tries to use the Gashat...which DRAINS his health bar to near zero...

Dude, I get it, you were going for irony points but you didn't NEED to do that!

Unfortunately, this is ALSO completely in Kujo's character, as the entire time he HAS been keen on rubbing things in Kuroto's face whenever he gets an advantage over him. Doesn't make it less stupid to do, but it IS in his character. Still, wonder how this would've gone if he'd just taken the Gashat and NOT used it.

Kuroto takes Dangerous Zombie back and reveals the Bugvisor is ALSO a driver, and the ONLY way to use the Gashat...and using it spawns an army of zombie like grunt Bugsters that keep the others busy...

And Kuroto transforms into his new form...which has some REALLY freaking effects! Like seriously, that transformation freaked me out a bit. That said, the form itself is freaking awesome looking and REALLY intimidating. Also, his life gauge is EMPTY.

Also, it's Level X, as is in level 10.

Kujo, despite being injured, goes to Level 3 to fight, and there's some really spooky looking effects on Genmu like something out of a horror game. Fitting, giving he's using a Survival Horror game. Also, according to Genmu's stats (which Toei made available), those aren't just for show: making the enemy see those are a LITERAL power of his.

Meanwhile, the others manage to destroy the grunts...but Laser is getting demolished. No surprise, given he's hurt and against someone three times his level. But he DOES manage to hit a finisher on Genmu, which seems to at least STAGGER him...but does nothing else, and he gets his Gashacon Sparrow stolen...

And Genm goes for his finisher, Critical End, which can best be described as a buzz saw ax kick with some REALLY creepy visual effects. In Kujo's defense, he DOES try to kick back...but isn't nearly enough and his life gauge hits zero.

Oh dear...this is the CHRISTMAS episode. Are they gonna kill someone off here?!

In Kujo's defense, he DOES try to climb up Genmu and attack him even untransformed and apparently dying...

Genmu merely leaves...and Kujo's body starts to glitch out...and even TAIGA isn't enough of a jerk to make light of this...

Kujo tells Emu that he has to save the world and stay who he is...and gives him his Gamer Driver and Gashat....

And his Driver says Game Over and he vanishes into blue particles...

Did I mention this was the CHRISTMAS EPISODE?!

Geeze!

Over all, good episode, but I admit that I found it a bit contrived to have Kujo just USE the Level X Gashat when it was unneeded and clear Kuroto was up to something, even if it IS in his character...and we got our first Rider death and dang was that emotional...Nothing else to say.

[mmoxie]

50 Character Questions For Karalonde

@memes4less​ asked me to do the whole darn ask meme for a character of mine that i like a lot, and it took some time, but

it happened, and i’m just, so incredibly sorry to mobile users if this somehow eats your dash

here’s a readmore tho

What is your OC’s favorite color? Yellow.

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? Curios and antiques from Elven history.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to? No allergies.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear? Very huge yellow cloak full of pockets is a must. Steel-toed boots, sweaters, comfortable all-weather pants. It takes a lot to get her into something elegant.

What is your OC’s first memory? Her mothers and mentors, the spooky old Ravens Grey, holding her hands and singing songs to her.

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? Karalonde gets along very well with corvids. They tend to recognize her as another corvid, like a very big crow or raven. On the flip-side, dogs don't trust her, and she doesn't trust them.

What element would your OC be? Sodium.

What is your OC’s theme song?

The Heavy - No Place For A Hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhwDxNqWtxk

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? Nah.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC? This one's a toss-up. I'm going to go with Pride though, because she's sure of herself to a tragic fault. Believing without question that she's making the right decision, because she's Karalonde, so of course she's right, has been her downfall more than once.

What are your OC’s hobbies? She used to play guitar. Hasn't picked it up again since she lost her eyes, but she could.

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? She's patient until she's not. Dynamite with a really, really long fuse is still dynamite. When she's angry, she's Category Five Angry.

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? She's a night elf, a trans woman, and a lesbian.

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? She's a total disaster about modern food. Absolutely spoiled by the world of greasy and salty and deep-fried. But she's got a soft spot for kimchi, which she grew up on, and likes her meat rare.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? A corvid of some kind. She's always had an affinity for them due to her upbringing. Whenever she encounters one in the wild, she has a way of approaching them that makes her seem to be a Very Large Raven, rather than a different creature altogether.

What does your OC smell like? Boot polish.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? Karalonde found and sold a great deal of her belongings from half an eternity ago in order to build a large savings. Large enough that she can coast on it for basically as long as she wants, as long as she lives simply- which she prefers. Most days, she takes a boat to the Broken Shore and participates in holding the line there, helping to keep the demons from advancing any closer to the mainland. Her dream job requires that the war be over. She wants to go back to being a public servant. Maybe the mayor of a small town, or some other low-caliber politician. She considers her current "job" a necessary service, but it places her uncomfortably close to the Illidari.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? Karalonde fears failure to the point of outright "you didn't win" levels of denial. She also fears abandonment. She's absolutely awful at expressing herself, and this distances herself from would-be friends and romantic partners, and this is exacerbated by her vast ego, which insists that she can't be in the wrong for acting that way. She is, however, phenomenally physically strong, literally fireproof, and she can, on occasion, channel her inability to otherwise express herself into a passionate drive to protect the few people she can keep close to her- even if that means doing something as dangerous and oafish as picking a fight on their behalf.

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? Karalonde likes things that sound like Spanish guitar. She also has a certain fondness for the powerful drums the Trolls use.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? She's been traveling offworld for half an eternity, thanks to her career with the Illidari. If anything, she'd just be shocked to find out that the Earth isn't a smoldering husk. The next step after that would be to casually assimilate, never explaining her appearance or origins, pawning off her extremely valuable gold coins from Azeroth in exchange for fat stacks of cash. She'd miss out on a lot of our visual media due to her general eyelessness, but once she got the hang of things, she'd almost certainly end up a celebrity. Maybe even star in an action movie.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? Lack of decorum makes Karalonde very upset. She's got a strict sense of what's proper behavior, and she's not above delivering a hard slap to remind her close acquaintances to behave when she's around. She also has a stomach ulcer, and arthritis in her knees and hands. Her only pet peeves are all to do with communication- she hates when strangers interject with "their two coppers," and she'll often deny them outright if they ask to contribute. Likewise, she hates un-asked-for explanations, and will mock anyone providing one with "ah, look at the young scholar," or something to that effect.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? Horrible. Just the worst. Not even a disruption in class, just the kid who seems to always have better things to do than be there. Abysmal attendance record. Shows up whenever she wants. Gets into fights in the cafeteria pretty often over basically nothing. Steals little things all the time. --Librarian's pet, though. If she's not in class, she can be found there, helping stock returns and organize the shelves, holding surprisingly mature and serious conversations with the librarian about her future.

What is a random fact about your OC? At least once in her life, Kara has- just like a dog- chased after and eaten a bee. With the consequences you'd expect.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? Kara is a firm believer in "all the fake things, all the bullshit, all the wishy-washy myths and mysteries." Every cryptid is real, every mystery has its fantastical conclusion, every conspiracy is worth investigation. She insists that it's the fake things- "the things we invent, because we like the sound of them" that contribute a newfound value to the dirt and grass and trees. Every ritual, she believes, is a total fabrication- an invention that, by virtue of our commitment to it, achieves its function. The only "fake thing" she questions is the Holy Light, because she finds it uncomfortably godless. "Where in the hell is their deity," she's asked more than once, "how in blazes did they reckon on just -light?-" The truth of that is, she just finds it unimaginative- lacking the spark of imagination that comes with grander rituals and other "fake things." But a world rich with fake things is a world she wants to protect. She's invented a great many, herself, ascribing value to trinkets and places and even articles of clothing. She'd save the world just for the sake of the value she finds in an idea. Even a really silly idea. Especially a really silly idea.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? In a lot of ways, Kara is wish fulfillment. She's beautiful, she's strong, she's capable. But in other ways, she's constantly failing, She's a lapsed Illidari who broke the bond with her demon because the two of them fell in love, for goodness' sake. Talk about taboo on top of taboo. She's wrong about most everything, but she believes so hard and so sincerely- and again, that's wish fulfillment. I wish I could believe like Karalonde believes. She's only a fan character in the sense that she's not built out of My Original Lore, but really, there's only so much structure that Blizzard offers to characters, so they end up 1% Blizz, 99% Your Effort. She's always been kind of the same, ever since I made her, but she's changed in subtle ways- being more indulgent, telling more jokes, opening up little by little, learning to care about others again. Her journey's gradual, and she's got a long way to go.

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? It's hard to say. Kara makes herself into a mother figure accidentally, all the time. She ends up attached to someone and worries about them, and next thing she knows, she's rushing to protect them. But there are a few- a very select, very distinct few- who she sees the "makings of greatness" in. And yes, John Silver from Treasure Planet went into the pot, when I was making up Karalonde for the first time. She fixates on these people- often slow-witted but sincere, brave but prone to accidents, full of self-doubt but in possession of great ambition- and she dotes on them. She provides what she can for them, even if it's just providing encouragement. She wants them to succeed, because she's already lost the war, as far as she can tell- but they don't have to. They could win it. To contrast, boastful warriors who go on and on about their conquests and victories, she considers fodder to be fed to the Legion. Let them go and die, if that's what they want, because they don't have or make any fake things to enrich this world.

What kind of childhood did your character have? A very strange one. The Ravens Grey served as three different mother figures- One was tall and thin and very judgmental. One was hairy and squat and very slow to speak. The third was near-about the elven ideal, beautiful and youthful- but she had strange habits, drinking smoky concoctions and babbling prophecy. They each raised Karalonde in their own way, but also together, as a family. They taught her to be shrewd and clever, and never meaner than she had to be. To be tacit when it served her, and to make speeches when- and only when- they were called for. They molded her into an elf that could serve the woods, one of the finest politicians their village would ever see. None of them- not even the babbling prophet- expected that the woods would burn and Kara would find herself trapped in service to the Illidari. They were kind to her, but not coddling. They chose lessons over discipline. If she was going to scrape her knee, she was going to learn how to mend it. If she was going to throw a rock at the boy across the street, she was expected to explain why he deserved it, to their satisfaction. Otherwise, she'd get a lecture on when it's appropriate to throw rocks, and what rocks are the best kind to throw, and where you ought to throw a rock depending on how upset a person makes you. She grew up to be a woman who is very good at throwing rocks.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? Her ears twitch when she's angry or overstimulated. When she's frustrated, she'll grab an old trinket out of her coat and polish it until it squeaks. She's not an alcoholic, but she's fonder of a cosmopolitan than the average elf. 

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? [KARALONDE - BORN IN TIME IMMEMORIAL - DIED IN BED, BENEATH A DOZEN GOBLINS] She always was too friendly with the waitresses in the Bay.

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? She considers marriage an "Eastern tradition," like worship of the Light, necromancy, and failing to maintain a functioning kingdom. That said, if she was proposed to, she might open up to the idea. Just for the sake of trying something new. As for kids, she's never had one. She was meant to have one- a child intended to be the next leader of her village- but it never came to fruition, due to the woods burning. As things stand, she may end up a godmother for one of her friends. She might like a child of her own, but she's not ready to settle down. Not even after all this time.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? She wasn't taken offworld by choice. She wanted to stay in the woods, hold the line, defend her village. She was dragged by the armpits through a portal, to go "fight them where they live." She's been bitter with Illidan and his ilk ever since, and it hurts her every day, to think back on what she was forced to leave behind. To contrast, her very favorite memory involves going to a quiet glade in Duskwood where the green dragons used to stay, and finally being able to touch the waters of a moonwell without them burning her skin. She was in the company of a young druid, who sang and kept her safe while she fretted and protested and doubted aloud until she finally found the courage to try. There was no greater relief than knowing that the mother moon recognized her again, even a little bit.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? One thing? How big or small scale is this? Like... one article of clothing, or one concept? For the sake of a good answer, I'll choose concept and go with "a home." She hasn't had a place to call home since the woods burned, and she wants one very badly. So badly that she's willing to occupy old elven ruins that've been abandoned and start dressing them up again.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? She "doesn't kill things of the good dirt that walk on two legs." This has to be broken down, a bit- "things of the good dirt" means creatures of all kinds who are made out of flesh and blood as a result of living somewhere. By this metric, demons are not things of the good dirt, largely. Many of them are composed of dark magic from the nether in their entirety- or they've been killed and remade so many times that nothing remains of what they once were, when they came up from their "good dirt." Then there's the matter of two legs- if it moves on four, it tends to qualify as prey. She considers herself an old creature of the woods, and as such a creature, she eats what she damn well pleases. These aren't hard rules, however. She'd eat a human or an orc or any such creature if she had to, and feel no moral or ethical dilemma whatsoever- she considers them to be "made of the same meat I am." If it's not a matter of eating or driving back the Legion to protect her home, then she absolutely will not kill. Maim, bludgeon, assault, she'll beat the daylights out of someone who crosses her- but she won't kill them. She, like the Ravens before her, would rather teach a lesson.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? Kara isn't the life of the party, but she's an active participant. She's belligerent and traditional in a lot of ways, but she likes to laugh and she likes to have a good time, and she's got the good sense not to make a bad situation out of a good one- unless she's really, terribly bothered by something, in which case she'll raise hell. She doesn't belong to any clubs or organizations anymore, but she's casually trying to form some- a township in some abandoned ruins, for example- and she hands out yellow cloaks to match hers, to any lapsed, failed, or rejected Illidari in need.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? She has a spectacular imagination, but it's limited by her perspective. Her ideas are fanciful and sometimes brilliant, but they have the same kind of old-fashioned charm that "old sci-fi" has compared to the sci-fi we're used to now. She doesn't worry, but she is prone to fantasizing- and she does do a great deal of living in memories, because she has an eternity of nostalgia to sift through.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? She wants the war to end. She's tired of having to fight in it, she was never meant to. She doesn't have many compulsive needs, but she does like to fight more than the average elf. By a long shot. She's done sacrificing, though. She'll kick ass and take names all up and down the Legion front, but she's already given up her eyes, her home, her lover, her allegiances, her dignity, her glaives, her traditions, her family, her friends, her neighbors, and every last tree in the woods we now call Felwood. She's Fucking Tired Of Sacrifices And She's Going To Keep And Protect Everything Else That Exists Now, God Damn It.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? Bumps into walls. If it's not enchanted, she can't fucking see it. But she's too proud to use a cane or a dog, so she just struggles against the physical world because she needs to insist to herself that she's fine.

What would your character do with a million dollars? She already has a million dollars. She's chosen to live well within her means, do a job that satisfies her, and make meaningful personal connections.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? Fridge: Several stolen platters from New Years celebrations. Meat and cheese and vegetable dip trays from several different parties she wandered through. Also, a gallon of milk, a gallon of sweet tea, and a gallon of lemonade.

Bedroom floor: Gigantic heaps of treasure, stolen from everywhere. Rugs, quilts, piles of loose gold and silver trinkets, pottery and riches. It looks like the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin in there.

Nightstand: Flask of spring water from halfway up Hyjal. Gnomish audio recorder featuring a tape with instructions on how to read braille. Three other gnomish audio tapes are nearby, with instructions on how to use the Common alphabet, a recording of some very good guitar played by a pirate in the Bay, and a highly explicit tape, also bought in the Bay, which features very animated readings of a couple "steamy romance novels."

Garbage can: Empty soup cans, spent matches, various wrappers and shreds of wax paper.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? You can count on somewhere expensive. Kara likes paying extra for something quiet and special and well-crafted, so fine dining suits her. Even if she eats with her hands. She was given a dress over Winter Veil, made of embersilk. It fits, and she likes to wear it out. Odds are, she'll go out with a friend- but if she had a choice, she'd get a celebrity on her arm. She'd love to stir up a controversy by being caught out at dinner with a world leader, like Tyrande or Sylvanas. Especially Sylvanas- she feels like they'd have a lot to talk about, in their long years.

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? Pick fights. She's an extremely physical woman.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? S h i t l o a d s. Where do you think? She's been fighting the Legion for goodness knows how long. Longer than most.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? "It's only a human. Wheel it off to a priest before it stinks, or eat it."

How does your character react/ accept criticism? ...It takes her a while. A long while. Usually something painful and humbling has to knock some sense into her before she'll accept a new idea.

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? She fucking loves pineapple on pizza.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? Poke at it, then put it away. She believes very strongly in the sorcery of the Trolls, and she's not going to test her luck.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? She can't draw. She also can't read, or see.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? I feel like I already answered this one. The Ravens Grey were strange, confusing, but ultimately compassionate old witches whose methods carried both the danger and directness of the old trolls, and the dignity and decorum of the new elves. Kara, as an adult- having gone through so much- still tries to make herself like them. They were good to her. She appreciates how they raised her.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? Candy makes her sick. She'd never eat enough to get a rush, she'd vomit. Hates the taste. Even chocolate.

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? She'd embrace it with open arms. She's been waiting to die for a long time, and death simply hasn't come to her. She'd feel relief, in passing away. She'd get her affairs in order as best she could, distribute her wealth, talk to the people she wanted to talk to- Tyrande, Sylvanas, Boss Mida, Alexstrasza, Chromie, Shandris, and Varok Saurfang, in particular- and then call it quits. Take it easy, stay home and close to her loved ones, and just let herself finally die. An eternity is long enough to live. Let someone else handle the next one.