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just went through the etoile tags, cause even thought i'm still completely devastated by its cancelation, i feel like i'm going to forever be attached to it. i was already a fan of few of the cast members, and all of that. so i wanted to go down the memory lane of this short but really fun few months (i was actively campaning for it -outside of tumblr, i'm a silent user here- since march 6 when the first looks came out, but i've been looking for it since 2023!!) and god. i want to point out two things.
PEOPLE SHOULD WANT BETTER FOR GENEVIEVE! she's been through it, guys. and her character didn't even scratch the surface, she had a whole fucking healing path ahead of her, regardless of men. i feel like others have a difficult time with love and affection, all of that, but not her, it was much more about her selfsteem. she couldn't even stand herself to not wear heels, which she clearly hates, imagine the rest? for an example, i completely agree she wasn't trying to be nasty with cheyenne, she was simply on her limit and she for once stood up, but unfortunately cheyenne was the wrong outlet, as i don't think nothing that happened was her fault, she was just as well dealing with consequences of a whole situation splashing at her, and in her case beyond her control, bc the swap wasn't her choice. but that's good, its not perfect nor linear, it has layers and nuance and we should always want more of that!! (i also wanted to see more of them together so bad, those two are powerhouses) so like, who gives a fuck about what she had with jack? she has so much unresolved things and i don't think its beneficial to be around him like that, nor do i think she has to pat his back outside their friendship. he is a person who needed to identify what a friend is and stick to that, bc with him is either a transaction or a marriage proposal. and i could go ooooonnnn and oooonnn about how he uses her to his own benefit while playing the sad boy, meanwhile she actually tries to help while seeing things for what they are, but at this given point, i think its useless. (and no, i do not hate jack. but people here don't really seem to gaf about him, so i'll just stick to that but i do have i lot to say about him too, just not in a sense of contradicting anyone.)
PAY ATTENTION TO THE SHIT YOU WATCH, PLEASE. Althought the number of completely misguided people who seemed to be watching a completely different show here was INFINETELY smaller than other places, I saw a few completely blindsided people with absurdly obvious things. and i am NOT talking about not liking how something happened, nothing in my words reflect on that. the thing is WHAT HAPPENED TO WATCHING WITHOUT A PHONE IN UR HAND AND ABSORBING THE DIALOG AND NARRATIVE PRESENTED IN FRONT OF YOU? seriously, as a lifelong tv fan this is a modern issue that derrails me from my reasoning. there wre so many things pinpointed during the season so we could form the full picture of a puzzle in the end, but somehow i heard (and read a thr review saying it too lol) about how the finale completely differs from the rest of the show. what?
then i have to see completely lame and lazy shows being praised, while a show with a clear path ahead like this is left behind bc of people who refuse to read subtitles and then thrown in the trash bc their plataform dont think is worth it or profitable whatever the fuck that means meanwhile the worst piece of YA you'll ever see is showered with promo. not every show needs to be 100% approval ratting with 18 emmys on the first season, or an instant hit on a video plataform. we need to meet in the middle, the nuance is what keeps the arts going. it was what made good television decades ago.
like, don't get me wrong. it's not a perfect show. but the issues were completely fixable, and none of them were the story, nor the characters. so many lifelong master pieces have a rough first season but were salvaged by their concept and figures, and i strongly believe it was the case here.
i'm repeating myself a little in this second half, but what i mean is, give things a real chance. if you want to just have something as background noise, put on a reality show, a youtube video or a music video. (don't cuss me, i know i'm not your parent to demand anything, but believe this old gal, its just a tip for a better enjoyment) if you're consuming a piece, good or bad, the least you can do is give your attention and absorb it because otherwise, is a waste of your time, and now, more than ever, let me be cliche once more, time is our most valuable thing.
#genevieve lavigne#geneviève lavigne#jack mcmillan#cheyenne toussaint#etoile#étoile#feeling like ranting and i love my text plataforms but im on a therapy suggested social media break so here we go#this is social media too but i like to pretend is substack instead#also on our crib we call it jackvieve#even if we dont like it#is easier to type#just a heads up#also its 2am so i dont trust my grammar rn but i swear im very well educated
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You know what's fun?
They seem to have made Percy more on the inattentive end of ADHD than hyperactive. Aside from the capture the flag scene, we mostly just see him zoning out, 'daydreaming', the line "I don't think it's the marshmallow's fault I never pay attention".
ADHD barely gets good representation as it is, but I don't think I've ever seen the inattentive type in media like this before. This is going to be huge for a lot of people who don't fall under the hyperactive stereotype umbrella.
I'm just really excited that more people will get the chance to see themselves.
#percy jackson#I'm actually combined type so this doesn't fully apply to me#But y'all inattentives arguably get the short end of the stick a lot of the time#So I'm genuinely thrilled for you#and that they went this direction#especially since hyperactive is probably easier to portray as adhd and have the audience get it#percy jackon and the olympians#adhd
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Twisted Whiteboard doodles!
#dandys world#dandy’s world#twisted astro#twisted sprout#twisted shelly#twisted pebble#twisted dandy#twisted vee#dandys world astro#dandys world sprout#dandys world shelly#dandys world pebble#dandys world dandy#dandys world vee#dandicus dancifer#astro novalite#vee version 1#bruh i need an official way to spell her name this is a nightmare.#shelly fossilian#I was invited to draw on a whiteboard with someones. Was fun!#Dandy and myself (Sprout) is definitely a favorite tbh#Can’t be helped when they’re both very detailed lol#also it’s real nice that we all have Last names#it will make Tags easier fr#im tired of typing dandys world 500x#but also i love it here#ebonytailsart
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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How come you don't drink alcohol? Is it a health thing, or just because booze tastes like shit
My dad’s an alcoholic, so as a kid I figured if I never had a first drink then I’d never have a hundredth one
#Alcohol#I have an all-or-nothing type personality too so it’s easier to never start than it is to stop#Never smoked anything or tried drugs niether#Nothing wrong with people doing it I just know for me it would be too easy to become an issue
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this is just me fucking around with gradient maps, but bird boy!
the normal colouring is under the cut :o]
#hes my biggest blorbo rn#him and dabi#if his hair was easier to draw hed be the only person in my art#this is a boring posing in the void type drawing but#gradients#fanart#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha fanart#mha hawks#hawks
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Chapter Two -> Preorders for physical copies are now OPEN until August 27th!
#FULL COMIC!!#for easier access#i'll update this post as i add pages and theoretically I'll go in and add this link to every other post#wut#what's ur type#my art#klance#vld
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Deadly Bee Swarms | Download A mod that helps make 'death by flies' a tiny bit easier to achieve.
I've never had a ghost of this death type in my game naturally, even when intentionally neglecting my sims' cleanliness, but now it's an added risk when hiking and hunting bugs! Still rare, but no longer seemingly impossible. x)
Behaviour This mod adds a simple coin flip to determine whether the swarmed sim will die or not.
I haven't seen enough bee swarms in normal gameplay to feel like this would need additional logic, but if there's interest I can add some extra checks for a sims' activity and body skill levels, too. :)
youtube
Conflicts This mod overrides the BHAV Interaction - Chased By Bees.
As far as I can see, there hasn't been a hiking or bug hunting mod to alter this particular BHAV yet, but please do let me know if you run into any conflicts!
MF mirror: Download
#The Sims 2#The Sims 2 Download#TS2 Mods#TS2CC#Olive Specter Posting begins 💀🖤#I haven't used the bug hunting feature extensively in gameplay to complete a bug collection#but when repeatedly testing it for this mod bees do seem slightly easier to run into#than when hiking; the coin flip was merciful four times#So your game insights on how to weight the death chance would be much appreciated!#Definitely going to be making more 'easier death' mods#One because so many death types are impossible to achieve accidentally#Two because my graveyards need more ghost type variance#And three I need to counteract Brunwick's baby boom xD
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omg goomy miku...................
(i asked @mikufigureoftheday about miku figures with a goomy-esc colour palette a while back-- one of the figures picked was a figure i actually own! )
sketch + wip lol


#art#hatsune miku#goomy#pokemon#pokemon fanart#miku fanart#vocaloid#poke's doodles#im never sure how to post things like this - is @-ing the blog good ettiquette........?#anyways--- im a lil rusty with 'lineart' type art so it's. not perfect but! surprisingly fun to do-?#still. getting the hang of drawing and shading long hair.... all my faves having short hair is biting me back lmao#goomy ily thoughhhhh even if the pic was spedran in two days - ilyyy thank u for making it easier for meeee#also! thank you to the person running the figurine account! i love the goomy mikuss#i reblogged it - so it should be just past this post-- it wouldnt let me link the ask but at least i could link the figure lol#oh yea the goomy in the box is perfectly fine - being squished is enrichment for them i think :]
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hihi i hope you’re doing well!! tis me.. mommy issues!art anon.. >:3
mommy issues!art who is just so needy. he can’t help but melt into your touch after a long day, he’s completely pliable in your hands. he just wants mommy to hold him!! it’s not his fault that being cuddled by you leads to him eagerly shoving his tongue down your throat!! he just missed you!!
then he’s breaking away to beg, “please- mommy, can i?” while he paws at the neckline of your top. his desperate, wet eyes are too much, how could you ever say no? not that you’d ever pass up a nursing handjob, anyway…
(p.s. may i claim 🍼 anon… seemed fitting lol)

mommy issues!art anon hii:3 love to see you in my inbox again; this is so yummy.. also 🍼 is yours!
cw (18+) : sub!art, mommy kink, messy nursing hj, desperation/neediness

art immediately pushes your top up and over your breasts as soon as you give him permission, his blue eyes glazing over with unfiltered arousal. his cheeks are flushed the prettiest pink you’ve ever seen, and then you notice that his bottom lip is wobbling like he’s about to cry. it wouldn’t be the first time that tears were shed down his cheeks when faced with your nurturing dominance. you feel both sets of his fingers squeeze at your chest—thumbs rubbing circles over your pebbling nipples, whimpering when you stroke your fingers through his blonde curls. he’s stuck in a trance of some kind, it seems.
“go on, i said you could.”
those simple words of encouragement are all that he needs to be snapped out of his stupor and surge forward to take one of your tits into his warm, open mouth. he slathers your bud in his sweet spit, moaning with pinched-up brows and suckling like he’s expecting something to come out. it’s hard not to stick a hand down into your panties at the feeling of him working his tongue so greedily over your flesh.. and his whimpers aren’t helping. your touch tightens in his strands and pulls a high-pitched keen from his chest. he unlatches and looks up to you, pouting, afraid you’re about to cut him off.
“are you going to be a good boy for me, art?”
he shudders, his legs tensing.
“yes, mommy. whatever you want..”
“you want help?” your fingers tease the waistband of his sweats before dipping down into them and his boxer briefs, playing with the base of his swollen length. his eyes roll back the instant you make contact with him there, and you laugh breathily in response. he’s always this easy with you. you drag your nail against the pulsing vein that you feel bulging from the underside.
“ye—yeah, help—help me, please,” he mewls, lifting his hips to press further into your palm, “be good, ‘m gonna be so good, i need it..”
your hand moves and wraps around his cock without further pleading from the blonde curled against you. he’s already filthily covered in his own juices, so it’s easy to stroke him without feeling like you’re hurting him. he gives confirmation of that in the form of a instantaneous, shattered cry and an arching back. he clutches your tit harder before burying his face back into the other one, trying to muffle his pathetic sounds as you jerk him off in time with the hollowing of his cheeks around your bud. he laps at you for another minute before his pelvis starts to stutter and roll up into your fist. it’s normal for him to try to take what he needs, even if you’re already giving it to him exactly the way he likes it. you smirk.
“you wanna do it yourself?”
he sobs around your flesh, shaking his head and letting his eyes flutter open to look up to you. “nmph—mmm-mn—“
“okay, then calm down and let me finish you off. have some faith in me,” you tease.
art’s mouth parts into a slackened ‘O’ around your sensitive skin when you twist your wrist and begin working his aching tip, the wet sounds emanating from your motions only heightening his pleasure. his toes start to curl, his legs clamp shut, his breathing picks up rapidly. he nearly squeals at the sensation of your thumb playing with his glossy slit. he hates (loves) it when you do that.
“mmm-my—mmm-my—! mmmngh!”
it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what lewd nickname he’s murmuring around the mouthful of your plush breast. you bite your lower lip, letting out a stream of breathy moans to accompany his sounds, and stroke him faster. his eyes fly open wide before squeezing shut so tight that wrinkles appear at the outer corners. reaching your free hand up, you move to lightly trace his cheek, his brow, the bridge of his nose. such a pretty little toy.
“are you close?”
he nods.
“are you gonna come?”
he suckles harder, wails louder against you.
“you can come for me, baby. give me a big load.. show me how much you’ve been wanting this..”
three more flicks of your closed hand around his throbbing appendage and he’s gone—his lips detaching from you with a sharp, trembling gasp, a string of spit connecting to your body; his head falls into your lap as he bucks into your touch and feels several viscous streams of fluid spray from him and into his clothing, as well as between your moving fingers. it sticks between your digits like glue. he wails like he’s being taken apart by you, praying that you’ll put him back together afterwards, and you closely watch his abdomen flex with each orgasmic contraction—every single one followed by a puny whine of ecstasy.
you don’t stop pumping him until he begins to wheeze and jolt. it’d be unfair to expect him to vocalize his overstimulation, given how wrecked he is. your ministrations slow and then rest in a pause at the base. he catches his breath as best he can and winces when you accidentally force an aftershock from his spent dick. tugging your touch from his soiled bottoms, you look down to your hand that has become creamy with his frothed-up release.
“such a mess, artie,” you croon, showing it to him as he pants and gazes up to you with an unfocused stare, “did that feel good?”
a single nod is all that he can manage. his lips part a few moments later, trying to muster up the energy to tell you exactly what he wants to say.
thank you. i love you. i needed that. i needed you. please hold me.
but none of it comes.
he leans in and kisses your breast, giving one more languid lick over your nipple in hopes that it’ll get his point of gratitude across. once he’s got his bearings back, he’ll give you everything he has.
now, though, he just needs a moment in your arms.
“mommy,” he whispers. he swallows thickly after and tries to blink away the wetness stinging his vision. it'd be embarrassing if he was with anyone but you.
you caress his jaw, give him a soft smile.
that’s all you really need to hear.

tags : @voidsuites @asheepinfrance @fawnnpaws @artstennisracket @andyrambles @imperishablereverie @ghostgirl-22 @lexiiscorect @cha11engers @patricksbf @newrochellechallenger2019 @pittsick @blastzachilles @oncefaist @tacobacoyeet
#🍼 anon#art with a mommy kink.. (dry) humping.. art begging.. i really HAVE been going back to my roots these past couple of weeks hm#anon i loved what you wrote:3#nursing hjs are tricky for me to write sometimes for some reason and i think its because theres generally not a lot of bodily movement—#involved with them. but this felt more smooth to type up so hopefully it reads that way#i dont know if that made sense.#what im saying is that i usually find it ‘easier’ to write about physical acts that involve a lot of rash/frenzied movement#okay im just talking now. ill stop!#sage’s asks#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x you#art donaldson fic#🌸 - ask prompts#🩷 - thirsts#sub!art donaldson#dom!reader
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Vecna captures steve and is torturing him/ giving him a slow death because steve and the rest of the party have been a thorn in his side
after 4 different rounds of this shit steve prides himself on his ability to take pain so he takes it as quietly as he can even bitching and taunting when he can trying to buy time or his own sanity til he can get out or someone comes to rescue him
but in the end steve is only human so he ends up screaming
Kas! Eddie hearing it and having that sound burn any and all of vecnas mind control away letting him scoop a badly injured steve and get them both the fuck out of there
#i have my laptop outright now so suffer every spare thought i have because its easier to type here than on my phone#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#kas eddie munson#steve harrington whump#steddie prompt
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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2 Nam-gyus!! love them... Also the second one is wearing a binder underneath heh >:)
#squid game#squid game 2#nam gyu#player 124#my art#havent drawn in a few days but ive been writing a bit#art block kinda hits hard + pain in my arms :(#so typing is just easier than drawing ughhh
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This idiot didn’t know about the light side 🙄
#dusknoir#grovyle#pokemon doodles#original art#was thinking about this#Like it makes sense half the world is enshrouded in darkness#Side where it was night when The Incident occurred#But what abt the other side?#Maybe that was Grovyle/Celebi’s problem#All the dark/ghost types live on the dark side#And the grass types/whoever prefers the light live on the other side#Also makes me wonder how far reaching the time problems are#I’m guessing poke-earth has entirely stopped#No revolutions or orbiting the sun#Since no day/night or seasons#Is the moon still orbiting earth?#The fact that it was a full moon every cutscene in the past suggests perhaps not#(Although I don’t think that was foreshadowing as much as just easier to have one moon pic lol)#Are the other planets still moving?#Dialga wouldn’t necessarily represent time specifically on earth right?#Kind of assumed he’d be time throughout the universe#so does that mean the entire universe has stopped?#or is in the process of stopping?#Consequences of Darkrai’s actions spreading far further than previously imagined
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i have thoughts i want to share about the shaw pack boys being treated more like proper werewolves instead of just "people that can turn into big ass wolves" ...but i fear i'm to embarrassed to share them to the world
#runie speaks#redacted audio#shaw pack#redacted david#redacted milo#redacted asher#but runie! you say... theyre not werewolves theyre wolf shifters!#and to that i say in MULTIPLE audios they are deemed as werewolves and maybe because of the stigma that word has#they switched to calling them shifters 💭💭#and it makes it easier to lump them with other animal shifting types of people... so win win for society#BUT THEYRE WEREWOLVES!!!!!!! i yell as i get pulled away#people are going to think i want some abo shit and NO!#werewolves are NOT about abo dynamics.#lycanthropy is sooo much cooler than that#and i feel it should be more represented!!!#david gets good werewolf rep. occasionally. when he half shifts and growls and stuff#but i want MORE#I WANT MILO AND ASHER WEREWOLF CONTENT#PLEWAASSEEEEE#i love werewolves#sorry guys#rant over
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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