#is it with or without the spaces i cant tell
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The DTIYS for the wonderful @isjasz (see the original here)!! I'm late but I'm excited!!
#IsjaszDarklessDTIYS#Isjasz Darkless DTIYS#is it with or without the spaces i cant tell#desert duo#third life#3rd life#grian#goodtimeswithscar#3rd life smp#trafficblr#traffic smp#what am i supposed to see in the stars jas#pls tell me im dUMB
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if ruining my sleep schedule cause i was locked in drawing a meme was an olympic sport id be the reigning champion
#daareios has no concept of personal space#i cant even begin to tell you guys how therapeutic it is to draw silly things like this after experiencing the angst of canon#i cant read the final arc without feeling like im dyin so making a weird ratboy oc is how i cope#oc: daareios#invincible spoilers#invincible#grand regent thragg#oc#viltrumite
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Im kind of intimidated but also thank you long term togami fans for being around... like Wow.. i admire you and think you are pretty cool. 7 years going strong with this guy and theres people whove been with it for 10+!!!!!! insane ... I must get to your level... Soon..
#byakuya togami#dumb ramble#i was a young little lad when i discovered danganronpa and it was probably either the worst or best thing to happen to me i cant tell#i feel like if i did not discover byakuya my obsession wouldve stuck with kyoya from ouran Was I Doomed from the Start?!#tbh ouran was my first anime ever i was like what 8 years old i did not understand a thing♡ Um but i appreciate the foolishness and the#beach episode simply does not exist to me!#every character there was so fucking stupid#ok but thats besides the point Thanks byakuya togami for existing you did your job as an ultimate#Now come here and let me bash you into a wall#i used to be like really bad obsessed id read his wiki page every day and listen to his 40-50 minute voice line video on youtube all the way#through to the end#multiple times#sick and twisted middle schooler#nowadays he kinda just lingers in my brain everyday and i feel immense joy when i see him in something new and unique#whether its AUs or sensible headcanons or cool ass fanfic or art or even official merch 🥹Like wow youre so cute. little Amoeba KILL HIM#sorry#i think discovering selfshipping was really cool and actually helped me a lot Although its...#what i was doing the entire time without even realizing#BUT FIGURING OUT ITS A THING ONLINE was really cool and im glad its making a resurgence and its more common in online spaces to just#straight up say you are a selfshipper for a character#people who share(either protective or otherwise) and are kind >>>>#i understand those who are nonsharing tbh just dont tell people to kill themselves in your rentries pleasw♡ Thanks
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i love using my pinkies when i type it feels so fancy
#i think i only use my left pinkie though#staring at my hands as i type now which is really hard actually it does not feel natural#but yes doing so and and honestly all of m#y right fingers besides my right pointer are not engaged#well i hit the space with what oh my god i cant tell which finger is hitting space bc its going so fast#okay i bhit space with my right pointer most of the time i think#this is so weird typing is just something i do without thinking or looking like its so intutive to me but looking at my hands and not the s#reen is like woahahhahshah mamma im gonna die
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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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*not necessarily the 'best'/coolest, but the one you think about a lot/enjoy reading the most/vibe with/find funniest
#wheel of time#wot book spoilers#sorta#im very proud that i remembered all these without looking them up#if i mispelled one dont tell me i cant edit polls and id like to live in bliss#two had to be combined and i decided belal and balthamel are the lamest we'll see if im right#also didnt include the reincarnated ones or taim for space reasons#wot forsaken#mine's asmodean btw. lanfear's a close second but more the cooler lanfear that lives in my head
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idkkkkkkk sometimes i feel like the me that exists in happy communities like discord servers and flight rising and lives in my it/its and my byte/bit and my ^w^s and my astro boy posting and the me that goes to work and lies on my bed rotting and wants to go back on the stage so badly but cant because of covid and gets called by my given name and wears a posh coat and skirt are different people who are at war with each other.
#i KNOWWWWW i know this is like spiraling or moral ocd or whatever the fuck but i really do feel like a faker in every aspect of my life#even in private i am lying to myself and/or my true self feels like a lie#im playing up my autism im playing up my executive issues im playing up my arospec and my genderqueer and my kindness and my wisdom and hop#or else im toning them down#i could shapeshift and no form would be my true one there wouldnt be any unmasking id feel like a fraud in every skin#vent#it feels like everything i do i choose to do on purpose#i decide on purpose how serious/silly i am how autistic/allistic i am how emotional/numb i am how kind/mean i am how struggling/lazy i am#how talented or smart or sympathetic or oblivious or hardworking or anarchist or spiritual i am i decide those in the moment to my benefit#i seamlessly move from one emotional state to a total other im a manipulator i choose not to put effort into the lives of others#or!!!! or thats NOT true and its NOT on purpose!!!!#and i CANT TELL!!!!!!!!!!#I CANT TELL WHICH#I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL WHETHER IM DOING SOMETHING ON PURPOSE OR NOT#can i admit something im scared to here#like 2 months ago or smth i had a voice in my head. for the first time i experienced a real like 'wait thats not me' second person in there#skipping a lot of details but i talked abt it in a space w a lot of plural friends and the conclusion was that i may be plural#but the other voice keeps coming and going#and since that first time it has felt more and more like im just faking. just deliberately imagining a second person in my head#to feel better. which like theres nothing wrong with that imo but its DIFFERENT from being plural#and i dont know. but ive already given them a pk proxy and a tumblr tag (thats what my 🪛 tag is)#and when they do come back i just feel like im deliberately pretending to be a different person. just putting on yet another mask#and having yet more dialects in my head like always#but couching them in plural terms without actually having plural experiences or issues#just. choosing to project who i always have been through an imaginary acting role this time. for fun
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When Eddie comes out as gay the funniest thing Buck can do is set him up on a blind date with Josh only for Buck to learn too late that Josh and Eddie don't like each other.
#911 on abc#9-1-1 on abc#911 abc#evan 'buck' buckley#eddie diaz#josh russo#gay eddie diaz#bi buck#they don't hate each other but they also don't get along they're oil and water#they're also adults and know how to exist in the same space without acting childish#i think it'd be funny buck being proud setting them up and telling maddie and chimney only for them to tell buck they don't like each other#only it's too late and eddie and josh arrive at the restaurant to see that buck set them up with each other#and despite not liking each other they stay because they rag on buck for setting them up because they're the only 2 gay guys he knows#3 eddie corrects josh but buck cant set either of us up with his bf#and i also think josh clocks Eddie’s feelings for buck but promises to keep them to himself#and they leave the dinner not closer but with a newfound respect for each other#plus i think it'd be a good way of tackling how not every gay person has to like each other#and also how to be an adult around people you don't like#neither will let buck live this down and also have a weird understanding where if they're in the same room at least they can#bitch and gossip with each other
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is greylock a big spoon or a little spoon
i hc they would fight for the big spoon position at first, but then they both would end up liking being little spoons more
#though i also hc cedric being not a type to cuddle in bed#because um#because well#hes jussst uncomfortable when he cant movee you knowww its not for everyone#i cant even tell why i think this#mb theyd cuddle a lot at first and then just grew comfortable sharing the same space without an urge to cling on each other
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Okay well now im incredibly irritated and pissed now cause someone in my family ate my damn Hershey’s chocolate out of EVERYTHING in the fucking kitchen. I think i’m just angrier than i normally would be cause i think my period’s coming soon and i barely got that chocolate like a day or two ago.
I bet it was my sister too!!! She eats my damn food without asking, everyone in this family does (but she does it most). And then they wonder why i hate sharing. Cause they eat all of my food despite the fact they have everything themselves!!!! God i just KNOW im gonna be the greediest bitch with everything i own when im older but i dont care, i just am tired of having to “share” everything and be told that someone will buy a replacement and then it never happens
#anytime i make a fuss out of my food being eaten my mom’s go to is either#‘it’s just food!’ or#‘we’ll buy another one!’#which never happens btw!!!#god im just feeling so angry right now#ignore me again im just ranting cause i just barely found out#and that’s another thing!!!#okay you ate my food without even asking#the least you could fucking do is tell me you ate it instead of deliberately WAITING for me to find out and STILL not own the fuck up#god i hate it here so much#stuff is wasted#my food’s eaten without permission#i have to share a room with my sister#and i sound like a brat wiyh all of thisbi know#but i genuinely cant stand this!!!#genuinely drives me crazy!!#but you know what#i just need to calm down and not think about this and when im older i will have my own space#thankfully
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I adore reading your rambling tags, don't stop posting things there 😩
Don't you worry. I think I might be incapable of stopping idk what happened I never used to tag ramble
#asks#anon#i do really love talking. clearly LOL#but ive also been working on listening the past few years#and thays pretty cool too#i had to learn how to think before i speak. like legitimately im not hearing the words I say#im thinking about my next sentence while i say the current one#its exhausting and i never remember what I've said HWJJJSDJEJ#but people tell me im direct and deliberate and clear so idk...#but listening is also really hard...#conversation in general is really hard#i stll love it of course#its just very tiring for me#which is PART of why I like to do this when i cant sleep cause of nightmares or whatever#tires me out haha and also is a great distraction#and is good practice! for me#so idk i just like it. and its nice to know its not annoying#i wouldn't post hardly any words at all without the safety of the tags#they're not rebloggable so thats a relief#you have to opt in to read them#the space is limited. etc etc#so. im glad it is wn option and im glad its a welcome one!#no intention to stop#thank you for the reassurance on it#delete later#maybe. I'm so tired i need to check later to see if i wnt to delete it#anxiety meds working yay i can sleep bye
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GROWING INCREASINGLY TIRED WITH THE RAMPANT QUEER INFIGHTING ON TWITTER… MAY END UP HERE PRIMARILY FOR A WHILE (¬_¬)
#I CANT EVEN EXIST IN YUME SELFSHIP ETC SPACES WITHOUT IT BEING THERE#SOME OF YOU REALLY NEED TO START TELLING YOURSELVES ‘LIVE AND LET LIVE’#BECAUSE I FEAR IT IS NEVER THAT SERIOUS! 💗#🎤hoonis shut up
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ok now that I'm in elpis I'll probably just post/react and shut off my phone immediately after more than ever to avoid spoilers and allusions and such
#i hope people dont see it as rude but#is this a safe space#maybe its just me not handling sttention well but people's obsession with sprouts livetweeting is a bit weird sometimes ngl#either people not letting sprouts actually go in without any allusion whatsoever#or talking about future events IN MY OWN REPLIES LIKE YALL STOP TALLING ABOUT VENAT IN A TWEET THATS OBVIOUSLY COMING FROM SPROUT IGNORANCE#i mute any tweet that gets traction and isnt my own art anymore just b#people cant help themselves and i see it in other sprout's replies#and dont get me wrong i love people being excited to watch me go through it its very fun but damn some randos are weird#it just feels bad when i can tell people follow for that and not burgeaux/my art#and i know the solution is to stop livetweeting but why should i sacrifice the way i talk/post on my side account of all things#i hope this doesnt make me sound awful i really am appreciative and love talking with people about the story#it just puts a bad taste in my mouth sometimes and im not used to attention like this i guess
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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christ.
#i love joe i do#but the fact that i can hear his snoring through earplugs closed doors AND while in a separate room is#its takin a toll#i think its getting worse tbh but i cant like tell for sure bc its always been super bad and loud#before people start ab sleep apnea: healthcare is a nightmare rn and he doesnt seem to want to see anyone ab it#which. idk i guess its not that serious?? the most it affects him is i dont sleep in the same room anymore#bc i have real bad misophonia and snoring is one of Those Noises#plus like even if they invent the worlds best earplugs that block out all sounds forever#he snores so bad it vibrates the mattress#so... now we got our own sleeping spaces#but hes still like snoring really bad#connecticut was kind of hell bc theres only so much anyone can do#he's also a very heavy sleeper so its not like i can wake him up#and im a very light sleeper#so even when i go to bed first and get to sleep alright when he comes in or lays down i wake up#we've tried like#a wedge pillow some weird mouth guards this chin trap thing some nose strip things#i do genuinely think its sleep apnea so we need a cpap machine i think but those are expensive as fuck#and im not even sure if you can get one without a diagnosis??#well. thanks for reading my vent#i promise our marriage and relationship is fine and tbh better than a lot of other people we know's...#its just this one thing#:(
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So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing
#rat rambles#oni posting#for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files#the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out#I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space#I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed#and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies#probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow#itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas#one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing#also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know#their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation#but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there#god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad#btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it#and I desperately need to view it I need to view it#also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier#also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer#(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought)#but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it#again Im mostly just hunting for lore#hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department#maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont)#man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol#in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps#I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit#idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with#Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years#which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable#albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids
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