#it is entirely arbitrary

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

my opinions on Iliad characters are entirely vibe based. Like I think Diomedes sucks (idk why the Dolon scene holds such weight in my mind but it does) whereas Achilles is my menace of a stepson who I find endearing despite his warcrimes.

[i-count-words-in-posts]

114

I love being a popular Tumblr user so I can give my failmutuals 10-20 more notes on their posts

[muffinlance]

druk gets into zukos coffee supply

"Uncle."

Uncle raised his tea cup to his lips.

"Uncle, how did he get in."

Uncle took the most delicate of sips.

"Uncle I am not turning another storeroom into tea storage."

"How unfortunate to waste the space," said Uncle. "After all, it is quite hard to keep a dragon out once they have acquired the taste!"

"Uncle."

[marzipanandminutiae]

I will not watch the Uglies adaptation because Pretties are supposed to be anime-ass human Beanie Boos, not Instagram influencers

hey look everyone it's Zane

[peachdoxie]

Personally I like to ignore the fact that Danny has ice powers. That child is already too damn OP even before that.

[withbriefthanksgiving]

Has anyone talked about the divergent films as a trans allegory or am I going to have to do it

[fisheito]

Dominant yaku works on a stamp card system. He's only allowed to dom for every 6 times he subs

[the-crooked-library]

Yeah I saw memes on xtter about how Nosferatu and Babygirl are the same movie because they're about "a sigma fuckboy whisking away a woman from her weak beta male" and I'm like... is a guy who is after one (1) person that? Really? He has one obsession and contract. You're making a dumb comparison.

Same with the instagram memes that go "Virgin Orlok: had to threaten Ellen VS Chad Dracula: rizzed up Mina by telling her he crossed oceans of time". The movies have lied to you about him

Yep and it annoys me so much!.. I mean -

There are so many better and more accurate ways to make fun of Orlok. I mean, he's a massive simp, he lives with 5000 rats, he's literally rotting but he's got a 10-step moustache care routine, he had to learn to cook to feed Thomas, etc etc. There's no need to make shit up, he's a mess as it is

The Dracula shit is even more annoying tbh because the only reason Dracula is even interested in Mina in the 1992 film is BECAUSE OF ORLOK in the first place. It's a derivation of Murnau's 1922 Nosferatu, that is the first time a romantic fixation was introduced to a Dracula adaptation, and everyone that came after was just using that concept because it proved to be very compelling. Orlok is the literal origin of this romance trope

- but let's be honest, if Orlok looked like Bill Skarsgard, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

[son-of-avraham]

I'm glad we had a conversation about the real important topics in shul: whether or not we do kosher minecraft runs and why it is/isn't permissible to not follow kashrut

[cillyscribbles]

they got THE VOLGUN to play 049????? ohh haha i suddenly feel a little unwell yall i feel a little.... a little pestilence coming on... doc you might wanna check me out ahaha just kidding... unless

[unopenablebox]

periodically my brother wanders into my texts to try to explain his theory of reality to me. his theory is that human experience and love are fundamental to the universe and the most real thing, more real than physics, and in fact they create physics— until i reply to ask clarifying questions about this theory or describe my arguments against it, in which case it shifts to be only a claim about human society only for the duration of the next three texts before going back. when i eventually point out that these don't agree with each other he says that's because actually the true idea is inexpressible and this is just its nature. then i ask why he thinks it will work to communicate an inexpressible idea that requires inconsistency over the span of a conversation, and why, if he's trying to do that, he opened by trying to claim that science is wrong because it claims human emotions are an identical time-invariant experience for everyone over their lifespan and then abandoned that claim as soon as i pointed out that science absolutely doesn't say that even a little. then he says actually the idea is His Whole Self and then stops texting me back

i realize i should just stop before the first step where i respond but i want to talk to my brother! and i want to show him the respect of actually trying to engage with things he says to me! and none of this bothers me enough to not want to do those things! but also, christ

[iridescentoracle]

been thinking about how SOJ reveals that apollo's biological father was a musician, and the one actual photo of him includes an acoustic guitar in a clearly very small intimate kind of venue, and apollo hates the gavinners concert for being too loud.

if there’s no photos of jove justice i’m sure there’s no recordings either, but dhurke heard him playing. he knew what jove’s music sounded like and liked it enough to invite him to the palace for a private concert, and you cannot tell me the man who apparently spent years and years searching for a photo of his foster son’s biological father even after he’d sent that foster son to another country didn’t first tell him everything he could abt what his music sounded like when we know he knew at least a little. why let apollo’s dislike of the gavinners/loud music be arbitrary when it could be rooted in him associating quiet intimate acoustic music with both his fathers—the biological dad apollo never knew except that here’s the kind of music he played, and the foster dad who did everything he could to let apollo have this scrap of a connection and liked that same music himself

[selfmaderibcageman]

Collecting peoples final exams at the door and going hmm while flipping through it before sorting into one of two piles.

[gothhabiba]

"children should not be on social media. parents should not allow their children to be on social media. I had the best childhood of anyone I know,"

yes. we can tell.

[mateymedialunas]

i love how much The Bus is like a tiny society. i just got in and it was full as shit so we were all pressing to fit and at one point a dude in the back yelled "ok that's enough there's no more space!!" and the bus driver got mad as hell and eventually said "when You're the one down there you wanna get in too!" and it's like. ok first off so true mr bus driver. second I KNOWWW what now that youre no longer a member of the oppressed class you want them to get fucked for your own benefit i see

[moon-lords-lower-body]

I feel like a lot of terraria fans have like their 1-3 bosses/enemies that are like. Uber favorite for whatever reason. Like they're not just your favorite your soul is bonded to them. You have stake in this enemy. What are yalls mine is the lunatic cultist and cultist archer/devotee