#it’s so much better than davinci code

[ageofgeek]

Ian McKellan’s character’s motivations in the DaVinci Code were always so ridiculous to me, bc like, okay buddy, you wanna destroy the Vatican and the Catholic Church, sure. And the way you wanna do that is by… revealing that Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene.

Well, first of all, this would certainly contradict the Church’s teachings, but would it disprove that Jesus was the son of God? …not really??? Like, the Church has always held that Jesus was both human and divine. That’s like, the whole point. Of Catholicism. The existence of a bloodline would certainly be shocking and would force a reckoning with many church teachings, but it wouldn’t disprove the existence of God or fundamentally change the Church’s view of Jesus’s divinity. If anything, it would give more support to the already widely accepted view that Jesus was a real historical person.

Second of all, the plan is so dumb, lol. Just from a practical perspective. Dude is relying on maps, codes, and secrets that were all made hundreds if not thousands of years after Jesus’s death. Even if he found the tomb of Mary Magdalene and then did a DNA test, and matched it to the Grail family, that would not prove (1) that the corpse they found was Mary Magdalene; or (2) that even if it was, that the father of her bloodline was Jesus. Like, some traditions hold that Mary was a sex worker; others hold that she was married and had children with an unnamed husband. Why does the father of her hypothetical bloodline have to be Jesus? AND AGAIN, even if it was, see point 1 above, that doesn’t prove shit.

Ok, sorry, i caught the end of this movie on tv and needed to talk about it

[kimsuyeon]

complete beginner's guide to [kpop] giffing, as explained by me!

keep in mind everyone has a different style and process, so there are some things in mine that may not feel intuitive or helpful - if so, don't include it! if you can make the gif, and have fun doing it, that's good enough. this post also assumes interest in specifically kpop giffing, but can for the most part apply to other content as well. i would just recommend different sharpening and coloring for those.

separated by headings (not images, since i need those... for examples) - if you are skipping to a specific section, look for the orange text of what you are looking for!

table of contents: - picking your programs - additional tools and programs (optional) - finding files - importing to photoshop (vapoursynth, screencaps, etc) - photoshop shortcuts and actions - sharpening - coloring - export settings - posting on tumblr

programs:

if you already have photoshop / your giffing program installed and set up, go ahead. if you don't, i would recommend looking here to get photoshop. please make sure you follow instructions carefully and safely! i do know photopea is an alternative people use, and i'm sure there are others. i unfortunately don't know any tutorials to link and probably won't be much help in regards to those programs, but i'm sure there are some floating around on tumblr!

my gif process uses photoshop, so this tutorial assumes that as well. if you use a different one, you might be able to transfer this to what you use, i'm not really sure :(

additional tools and programs: - handbrake: upscaler, found here. i make my own settings and generally only use this on lower quality sources to give vapoursynth a better chance with encoding in higher quality. - davinci resolve: a program i use to make clips appear 60fps when they are choppy or too few frames for the gif to look nice, and occasionally to do pre-photoshop coloring! i use the free version. i do not use this all the time and it is a big program, so definitely don't get it if you think you'd forget to / not want to use it. - yt-dlp: open source, downloads pretty much any file i could want quite well. i use this for most of my downloads and for subtitles as well. does require some knowledge of code, or, at the very least, willingness to troubleshoot set-up. find it here! i can share the command lines i run for: video, audio, vid + sub. - 4k+ downloader: what most people use for youtube-source sets, i believe. you have a limited number of downloads per day on the free version, thus the other downloading programs. - jdownloader2: no limit but sometimes a little slow or will refuse to download because of not being logged into an account, etc. a good download alternative if you plan on downloading a lot and yt-dlp is too much. - vlc: free program, standard on some devices, good for viewing files. - mpv: excellent file viewing, can also deinterlace and screencap (if you do not have / use vapoursynth) - vapoursynth: mac users beware, it's not optimized or set up and is a huge headache. windows users, once you get it set up, it's golden.

finding files, what to look for, and how to use them: how to use is explained here, with a focus on smooth and nice speeds! but finding the file is the first step, so let's head there.

stages: k24hrs (invite only, feel free to private dm or send an ask off anon for a file - i will do my best to get it to you); kpopbuzzhub; sharing korea torrent (requires a torrent app); twitter (shrghkqud (only has recent files) and a few other uploaders, requires much more active searching). there are a few other places you can look, but it is often more trouble than it is worth (or costs $). i am also always willing to help people find materials, so you can ask me to help you look for something or to link a source i used for whatever set.

music videos: also sometimes on k24hrs. i use vimeo a lot (color graders, directors, etc., will upload clearer versions). sharemania.us has some kpop mvs, typically bigger groups (i.e. blackpink). this is a place i check for ggs. and if none of these places or searching for torrents on btdigg, or on google in korean works, i just download the highest quality setting from youtube.

other types: like vlogs and fancams, normally directly downloaded from youtube, instagram, or twitter using yt-dlp or sites specifically for the app (i.e. twittervideodownloader).

what do i look for? 1080i for stages (or 1080p) are often super nice as they're a .ts. 2160p/4k is often ideal, but it also depends on your computer and what you are comfortable working with! generally - not always due to ai upscale - a bigger file size (in the gbs, high mbs like 800) is better and has more detail that will look clear when you work on it. older stages (2nd gen and before, some 3rd gen) and music videos often always are lower quality due to camera quality, and much harder to find. if you have to use the youtube upload for a stage, it is definitely doable, but it may be slightly disappointing in the quality you want to achieve. it depends on what you're comfortable posting and making!

how do i use them? if you use vapoursynth, scenedetect (encode/process whole video) or timestamp (just a small clip) your file - if upscaling, using davinci resolve, or any other pre-processing, do that first. it will pull up a resizer and a program and once you encode, it will give you an output file using the size and settings you put. this will import to photoshop. if using mpv or another screencapping method, take your screencaps (again, all pre-processing first) and prepare to import. there are two ways to do that for screencaps. you can also just watch whatever you downloaded, i'm guilty of downloading concert files just for fun 😅

in the next sections, i will be using four different files of varying quality and sources to explain my steps. hopefully that is helpful!

example file 1 (4k and 60fps, obtained using yt-dlp) example file 2 (1080i, obtained from k24hrs) example file 3 (1080p HD, obtained using yt-dlp) example file 4 (pulled from the gg archive i use, master)

importing to photoshop (vapoursynth and mpv explained): using example file 1, i am processing in vapoursynth - i always do one extra second before and after the clip i actually want so it doesn't cut off any frames i'd like. i adjust my sizes based on what works best for tumblr (540px for wide, 268px for 2 column, and 178 for 3 column). i always use finesharp 1.5 (this setting is up to you! i used to use .7, so totally ok if it changes over time, too!) when you export in vapoursynth, you need the y4m header. i use export to mov preset.

when importing to photoshop using a video (so vapoursynth, video files, not screencaps):

i recommend making your selected range a little bigger than the frames you want so they don't accidentally not get included. delete any extra frames while in the frame animation and then turn it into video timeline. i turn all my layers into a smart object (select them all by clicking the bottom layer and then shift-clicking the top one, or use (on windows) ctrl + alt + a to have it select faster). set timeline framerate (if you want to, i always use 60).

now your smart object is ready to sharpen and color!

using example file 2, i am processing mpv - i hit 'd' until deinterlace is on 'auto'. find the clip you'd like and hit your screencap shortcut (alt+s) for me - your screencaps should be super clear, it depends on how you set up your software (if mpv, what compression you told it). screencaps can take up a ton of storage so i recommend only screencapping what you need and deleting them after. when you hit your shortcut, play the file to the end of the clip you went and hit the screencap shortcut again to stop. your frames should be in the folder you designated as pngs now. delete extra frames now!

you now have two options: import as is, which can be a little slow, or turn them into dicom files. importing as is is done through stack. it will prompt you to select what is being loaded - change Use: to folder, and let it process. it will be slow. hit ok when the file list updates.

when it is done loading: create frame animation -> make frames from layers -> reverse frames. i would crop now using the crop tool for processing speed, and then proceed to do video timeline, smart object, and frame rate. when cropping: on the top, above your document names, the second image should show up on the crop tool - this can set your dimensions. i zoom and crop screencaps using this.

the other option is DICOM files, and what i use. when you have your pngs, do alt + d in the folder (windows), type cmd, and run this command: ren *.* *.dcm. press enter. it will update the files. on macOs, just rename the file type to .dcm.

then, import as so (it will prompt you to select the folder your .dcm are in, and will not work if the files are not actually DICOM). i find it much faster than the stack import. crop when it is done importing for processing time, like the other screencap import style.

create frame animation -> make frames from layers -> video timeline -> smart object from layers -> 60 fps.

photoshop shortcuts and actions: (windows) - ctrl + alt + a: select all layers - ctrl + shift + alt + w: export as image - ctrl + alt + shift + s: save for web (legacy) - this is the gif one!

actions are imported or created, i've shared my sharpening ones before. there are plenty you can find (or make) for a variety of things, such as aligning objects to a fixed position on all docs, doing the screencap reverse and import for you, etc. they are imported using load actions - select the [downloaded] .atn file and it'll pop up.

sharpening: explained here, and has my actions (feel free to use). very important to the quality and clarity of the gif. the better the file, the clearer a gif looks, sharpening can only do so much. play around during this step!

coloring: very much the most personal taste stage of giffing. i explain my process here. in kpop giffing, we tend to focus on unwhitewashing. other giffing tends to be more aesthetic tastes and fun since the source has better colors to work with.

export settings: these are what i use! you need the 256 colors. i do not recommend lossy or interlaced. i think bicubic sharper is the clearest i have tried.

posting on tumblr: use these dimensions FOR GIFS. edits can be different. height is up to you - i would not go over 800, but i think my quality looks weird past 600 range anyways.

example gifs: yeji, from example file #1, imported using vs. uses no. 1 sharpening (altered) from my pack. colored. zhanghao, from example file #2, imported using mpv and the load via stack. uses no. 4 sharpening (altered) from my pack. colored. taeyeon, from example file #3, imported using mpv and the load via dicom. uses no. 1 sharpening from my pack. colored. eunbi, from example file #4, imported using vs. uses no. 2 sharpening from my pack. colored.

if your gifs don't look how you want right away, that's okay! it takes time. my first ones were not great either. i am always improving on and working on my gifs. good luck and have fun hehe ♡

[divinereign4ever]

JOTTING DOWN THOUGHS #2

SPOILERS ep 17/18

This is just me yapping more, ignore me

After experiencing the highest highs of episode 17 (i stand so corrected about the ...YaoYi? Confession. We got that and a kiss!? i love it here. My babies are growing! 🥹 🫠) episode 18 has brought me to my lowest low bc why is everything happening now. Yao is figuring out this demonic intrigue that involves her late father and whatever corrupt nonsense is going on in the capital, and my boy Musheng is crashing out in the WORST of way. Lord help me 😭😭😭

While on the topic, let's talk about Musheng's crash out bc this boy has pounds of emotional baggage that he is wading through to get to the point of confessing only to have my girl be put under a love spell that's causing him to lose his goddamn mind.

Mushengs baggage: a mostly exhaustive list

1. Bullied as a child for being an orphan adopted into the Mu family

2. Made responsible for his sisters actions, leading him to be the victim of corporal punishment (probably once but to a child desperate for affection and family once is enough)

3. Such responsibility + family massacre = a frankly worrying amount of codependence on his sister and stunting of her and his social growth

4. Is a half-demon with almost uncontrollable powers that can and has caused harm when unleashed

5. A potential victim of demonic prejudice, if not straight up murder, which leads to LOADS of self hatred and subterfuge in order to keep it secret

6. Potentially being hunted by other demons for his blood as a way of power level increase

This all results in him losing his mind when the person he likes is seemingly being taken away. It's only sad bc given the 6 points above, it's 100% in character. He has never felt romantic feelings before and doesnt trust anyone but his sister, which we've seen has a limit, and at the end of episode 17, he basically stated that pursuing these feelings may not even be worth it, be given hope, only for his heart to seemingly be crushed into the ground.

With that being said, I want so much more for him bc he's so insular and emotionally immature. He's throwing a tantrum and literally making it everyone's problem, which I hate to see. Especially since Ruoshi and Miaomiao didn't do anything wrong but not take a long trail of hints that Miaomiao is not interested and be put under a spell, respectively. (I do like how ruoshi and the princess are both the same kind of delusional, even though they hate each other)

I don't love him any less, but I wish Sheng would have processed his jealousy better. I'm not saying he shouldn't be skeptical, the shit did come out of nowhere, but trusting Miaomiao to make her own decisions is the most important thing. I like him better than the typical toxic lead, and while I know they'll end up together, which I'm super excited for, it's just making me frowny bc he and Miaomiao deserve better.

Now because of his jealousy (at the point i stopped to write this) his hair tie is pulled off, ruoshi passed out for pulling the thing and a be-spelled Miaomiao is afriad of Sheng which she obviously would be under any other circumstance. It's all for the plot progression i know, but still, I need to get it off my chest.

(PS. also find it funny how Yao is in some DaVinci Code storyline [thank god they gave her something to do and she's like a badass detective] while Sheng and Miaomiao are on an episode of Passions [iykyk])

(PPS. Bro Yao is about to go into her worst self sacrificial era. i can feel it bc now she wants to live up to her family name and finish whatever capital nonsense her dad started. Fuyi help!)

[staringdownabarrel]

I've finished Flight of the Nighthawks by Raymond E. Feist; here's my thoughts.

This one has a similar kind of pacing to the Conclave of Shadows trilogy--fast paced, fairly tight writing. Even in terms of plot structure, it mirrors Talon of the Silver Hawk with the first half being Tad and Zane's training and effective conscription into the Conclave of Shadows, and the second half being them proving their mettle.

I think this actually works a lot better in Flight of the Nighthawks than it did in Talon of the Silver Hawk for a couple of reasons. One is that the book is set over the course of I think eight or nine months in total while Talon was set over the course of five or six years. The time span is shorter, so it does a better job at communicating that.

The other reason is that straight after the Conclave of Shadows trilogy, most people are going to be familiar with the overall beats of a plot like this. There wasn't as much of a need to draw the early pastoral scenes out too much because everyone kinda-sorta knew what direction this book was headed in.

The drawback to this is that while it does work in this particular case, there's only so many times in a row that it can before it gets stale. The classic example of this in my mind is Dan Brown's work (and yes, I'm aware that Dan Brown has never really been that great). Angels and Demons and The DaVinci Code both had the same pacing and plot beats to the point that it's entirely fair to say that they're basically the same book but with different window dressing.

This works for those books, though. If you're a fan of that kind of book, you aren't necessarily looking for variety; you're just looking for variations on a theme. This is the big reason why pretty much every other police procedural has like ten or more seasons and a few spin-offs. It's also why pretty much every popular mystery/thriller writer seems to have one character they've spent most of their careers writing about (I type as if I'm not also currently reading the fantasy equivalent of this).

There's also an energy to Angels and Demons and The DaVinci Code where it still feels exciting to read these books even if you more or less know how it's going to turn out. It's only possible to get that when the formula is still fresh. That's why they worked and the next Robert Langdon book, The Lost Symbol, didn't, even though it still uses the exact same formula as the other two.

I'm worried that this may end up happening with Feist's next few books in the Riftwar cycle. I don't necessarily think it's going to happen with this trilogy in particular, but I can see it happening with the Demonwar duology. While this book and the previous trilogy did have a certain energy to them, that's only really possible because it's still relatively fresh. I wish I could say for certain, but it's been so long since I last read these books that I actually genuinely don't remember what happens over the course of the next few books.

I think the biggest issue with this book is that while in terms of actual plot structure, it quite directly mirrors Talon of the Silver Hawk, it's also nowhere near as political. There's definitely room for it to be political, given that most of the same main characters are present (albeit often in smaller roles), and also this book is set in Great Kesh and involves a plot to usurp the throne. Unfortunately, it never really dwells on any of this; it just sorta treats it as window dressing in the hunt for Leso Varen.

I also feel like overall, while this book never quite reaches the same lows as some of Feist's early work, it also never quite reaches the same highs. Like, it has a small love subplot between Caleb and the mother of Tad and Zane, but it's nowhere near as forced or as prominent as some of the love plots in the early books. But also, it's kinda difficult to feel the same connection to these newer characters as one did to the main cast of the early books.

Still, hopefully the next couple of books help course correct on these fronts.

[bakersfield-row]

Am a Windows user, have never used anything but windows, am comfortable with windows.

Convince me to linux. Explain

I’m going to keep this short because I could make this infinitely long.

In a world where you really cannot trust big companies, windows has gotten very self conscious that they could track and sell every piece of data from their customer and add unnecessary features and no one would notice it, even though it actually makes the user experience worse. If you don’t have a key, you probably also have to over a hundred dollars just for some basic amenities, like changing a wallpaper.

Linux, in the other hand, is free and open source software (FOSS), which, in its simplest form, means that all the code is there for you to change and revise. Because of this openness, most Linux distros usually never have features to sell your data, and if they do, someone’s bound to make a patch to have that not happen. This means that Linux is much more safe and secure than windows by a long shot, and you really don’t have to worry about your information being sold to dubious companies.

Linux, with all its FOSS-ness, also allows anyone to make theirs distro look anyway you want. For instance, I personally prefer the look of MacOS to Windows (I know, probs controversial opinion). On windows, it’s be a pain in the ass to get it that way, especially without a key, while in Linux you can easily do that with relative ease, as long as you have a guide. Linux is just more freedom, something probably over said but still very true.

There’s other reasons why people would want to switch to Linux to. I didn’t really note that it’s less “bloated” than windows, which means that it has a lot less unnecessary features and thus will run way faster on any computer, especially old ones. Bloat has been kinda a controversial word in the community, since people like to argue that some distros are worse because they have more features. However, no matter what you choose, it’ll probably be better than windows.

The biggest drawback to Linux, in my opinion, is obviously app compatibility. I’ve mentioned gaming before, but that’s something that’s seedy vastly improved over the years. However, some popular apps are just incomparable with Linux, most notably the entire adobe suite and (unsurprisingly) Microsoft office. There’s a couple other things you can do to circumnavigate this.

You can try to find alternatives. GIMP works as a nice alternative to photoshop, Davinci Resolve has native Linux versions, and libreoffice is probably capable enough to replace word or PowerPoint.

You can try to install wine and pray to god it’ll work (though it probably won’t).

You can run a virtual machine and run windows with that, thought that’s not GPU accelerated and thus might be laggy.

OR, and this is the best option in my opinion, you can dual boot windows along side linux, so if you really need to use it, it’s there as an option. If you’re going to do this option, make sure to install windows first before Linux (because of some stupid thing where it erases it in grub or smtn) and that the two operating systems are on separate drives. Also try to debloat windows though guides on YouTube, but know that it won’t be as private as Linux.

Honestly, that’s as much as I have to say about the subject matter. Others are free to add on, since I probably missed a few things. You might not like it at first, but I do encourage you to at least try it. Hell, you might even like it so much that using windows is now alien to you (like me, lmfao).

Hope this helped, and remember, never type “sudo rm -rf /” in the terminal. (Aw fuck, I forgot to explain the terminal. Oh well, I hope someone can explain it to you, and if you get stuck on it there’s always guides online)

[jesswritesthat]

you are such a good writer so i just know you’ll do justice to this. if you’d be willing, a small drabble about reader who tends to be quite standoffish w guys and just isn’t as close to them as compared to girls bc i remember being so stupid around my childhood crush and i’m pretty sure he hated me 😃 and then the guy i was friends w wouldn’t let me get too close to him bc he didn’t want people to think we’re “dating” n e ways let me shove my insecurities back down,,, but reader still loves watching romance anything bc someone unabashedly wanting to be around you like that?? can’t relate xx anyways it can be w any haikyuu guy, let the vibes come to you 🥰 thank you Jess love u 🥺

A/N: Hold up - THIS IS ME OMG! I feel you, I have terrible luck with romance but I find it so cute at the same time! I love you too, gorgeous anon, I hope I’ve done you justice 🥺

So allow me to kill some of those insecurities - or Oikawa will rather >:)

Warnings: cursing, fem reader

>>>>——————————>

Anyone could admit Oikawa Tōru was enamouring, yet you only offered a shaky sigh as your friend tugged you along to meet her team. That’s what you get for befriending the future manager of Seijoh back in Middle School.

"Aren't you from Iwa-chans’ class?" An internal shriek caused your eyes to widen, snapping your head to the local celebrity tilting his toward you rather than his fangirls. 

"I'm surprised you remember." Snarky. Nice, you'd possibly regret it if not for his all-too-gentlemanly attitude. He’d only barged in searching for Iwaizumi a couple of times, you didn’t think he’d taken notes.

"Wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours." The smile was beautiful, even so you crossed your arms with a raised brow.

"Next time, try harder~"

"So mean (L/n)-chan."

You winced, your head screaming 'I know! God I know?! Why would I say that?!' but it was natural instinct at this point, a defence mechanism if you will, especially against someone as cunning as Oikawa Tōru.

In honesty, you believed that to be the start and end of it - except your friend encouragingly dragged you to her practices and Oikawa strategically managed to catch you alone every single time. Makki or Mattsun (you think) subtlety coined your friends focus for approximately 10 minutes, leaving you laxly waiting for her to rejoin you. In fact with the consistency at which it occurred, you’d become friends with the Captain.

———

Only you’d let your guard down once, the team required managerial help meanwhile you got settled playing a romantic film on your phone. Immediately you were distracted, softness leaking to your features whilst muffled hopeless sighs of endearment were hummed in acknowledgment.

“That’s an unusual sound from you~”

“He just gave her a rose and they kissed in the rain, how could I not - shit!” It was a subconscious answer due to enthralment, the haunting voice only resonating mid-way through your justification causing you to shockingly snap around to Tōru watching from over your shoulder with a smug grin. You’d almost dropped your phone!

“Don’t stop now (Y/n)-chan, tell me how to get you to make that sound again. It’s cute.”

“No- no way! Get back to practice Oikawa - go do a jump serve or something!”

“Oh? So you do listen when I talk about Volleyball!”

———

It wasn’t until after their next practice match did you suffer his infuriating (yet admittedly appreciated) presence again. This time the brunette proudly standing by your side as he shared his views of the match with you - the burning gazes of his fans deadlocked on the two of you as if deciphering the DaVinci code.

"Maybe you should um - y'know, not be so close?"

A careful roll of your shoulder accompanied your hesitant claim, the close proximity allowing for the small movement to graze his left side. Oikawa shot you a perplexed look, leaning closer to your face out of spite - even if his inquiry was subtlety sincere.

"Why? You don't like it?"

"No - I mean yes - I just..." A sigh of defeat escapes as you run a hand through your hair before meeting his warm hues again. "People might think you care and I wouldn't want you to have to deal with rumours."

Tōru was unnervingly quiet, he would’ve took a step back if you’d asked, however this reasoning was ridiculous by his standard. Darkened irises scanned over your casual frame with fingers pressed against his chin in thought.

"What if I want people to think that? I mean it's true, isn't it~"

"Is it?"

A melodic chuckle echoes your sarcastic suspicion, the heartthrob of Seijoh nudging your arm with a charming smile that’d leave fans fainting at his feet.

"Am I not obvious enough for you (Y/n)-chan?"

"You're obvious to everyone - in fact you're probably nicer to your fans than you are to me. Hence why I'm hesitant to believe you."

It was beyond comprehension to think one of the most popular men in Miyagi be romantically interested in you, which is why taking the flirtatious antics of Oikawa was done with a pinch of salt.

“Hmm... in that case I’ll show you...” You hadn’t a moment to determine his intentions, not when he’d firmly hooked your wrist and dragged you out to the refreshing Spring showers currently hydrating Miyagis’ cherry blossoms that day.

“By getting me wet?!”

“Eventually maybe - ah, that’s not it though.” Only smirking at the death glare pointed at him due the insinuation, Tōru washed it away with the gentle caress of his palms either side of your jaw. You knew his hands were magic but this was surreal - a thumb brushed your cheekbone before his lips met with your forehead, his nose then skimmed to meet yours with a genuinely content smile ghosting his features.

“T-tōru?” Breathless surprise, that’s all you could muster with the rain trickling down your skin onto his delicate fingers. He’d never seen you so defenceless, and he’d wanted more of it.

“I actually like that sound better than your longing sighs, say it again for me, won’t you?” You’d pulled from him with that, your fingers lacing his wrists - to which the Setter fluently twisted and captured your hands in his own causing you to furrow your brows once again.

“Shut up, you’re not funny.”

A defeated sigh left him, eyes briefly closed in surrender prior to fluttering open with renewed admiration for you, mildly unwilling to admit the sentimentality underlying his actions. Sentimentality tailored to you and for only you.

“I know it’s not a passionate kiss in the rain like in the movies, the ones you like so much. But I’ll willingly, happily try - we can get to that if you want to go on a date with me?“

“Are you serious? Don’t you h-“

“I don’t want them, I want you. The person who lets her friends drag her to games she didn’t want to attend, who helps in practice despite not needing to, the girl who got to know the real me, and the one who looks really cute watching romantic movies~”

“I don’t know her but, I suppose there’s no harm in going out with you once Oikawa.” The witty response caused him to laugh along with you, expecting nothing less.

“Perfect - but my hair is gonna be ruined, can we go back inside now (Y/n)-chan?”

Rolling your eyes at his petty whining, you couldn’t hide the overflowing amusement in your laugh as you pushed him back into the gymnasium where his team (and your friend) sported expectant grins.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[brandstifter-sys]

Emerald Eyes

Chapter 1: Coming Back as a Man

Word Count: 1246              (Ao3)

Characters: Janus, Patton, Roman, Virgil

Ship: Roceit, eventual Royaliceit

Rating: T

Warnings: food mention, alcohol mention, genderfluid Janus,

Janus likes to go to the local jazz club and scope out the guys, just to find some company, if not love. They meet Roman and then have their hopes that this charming man would give seek them out again dashed. They're done messing around

----

The night was a familiar friend, it was a cloak. Janus was far more akin to slipping through the shadows, evading the norms that held them down in the daylight. The night was also home to their favorite places. The local retro jazz clubs were a haven of good food, fine wine, and sweet music.

They entered their favorite club, swaying with the saxophone coming from the stage. They sashayed between the tables to the bar, letting their long black dress swish around their legs. All eyes landed on them when they passed. It was hard to ignore such a beauty snaking by.

Janus approached the bar and waved down the bartender. The man had a certain air about him that screamed “I’m a dad” and a friendly grin. He came up to Janus, drying a mug with a white towel.

“JJ, what brings a doll like you out here on an evening like this?”

“Oh Patton, you should know by now, a girl needs a little fun in her life,” Janus said with a laugh and flipped their hair over their shoulder. They leaned against the bar and fluttered their lashes over their radiant green eyes. That coy red smirk might melt a weaker person, but Patton wasn’t so easily swayed by a pretty face.

“What can I getcha, beautiful?” Patton laughed.

“Hmm, the charming singer on stage,” Janus cooed and nodded toward the stage. Patton followed with his eyes and smiled wryly. The singer on the stage wouldn’t be performing up there all night, but he would be performing on the floor afterward. He was handsome and charming, a real prince with bright eyes and a confident smile. His voice was as sweet as honey and he had a way with words that made people weak at the knees.

"Roman? Sorry to disappoint but he's not on the menu," Pat giggled, "How about a virgin appletini instead?"

"Tempting, but perhaps a martini instead, my groggy frog," they hummed and adjusted their long yellow gloves. Their eyes were locked on Roman, swaying with the music that accompanied him. Janus swore they caught his eye and they were going to reel him in.

"One martini coming up!" Patton cheered and made a show of mixing the drink. Janus half-watched him work and delicately took the stem of the glass he offered them.

"For the lovely lady—it's lady today, right?"

"Hmm, yes, you'll find that to be the case most days, Darling."

"As long as you tell me when it's not, Sugar. And if you want to reel in Prince Charming, I'd suggest table seven," Pat said and motioned to an empty table. Janus smirked at him and waved coyly before sauntering off.

"What a doll," Patton mused to himself and got back to work.

Janus settled in at the table and sipped their drink, watching the show come to a close. Roman looked good on stage, built with a bit more room in the middle, with a swagger that made him even larger than life. His eyes scanned the room, past the dancefloor to the rest of the club, but always falling back on table seven.

By the time he was finished and off the stage, Janus was nearly done with their drink and looking for a little fun. They were lucky, Roman approached their table with confidence.

"Pardon me, is this seat taken?" he asked and leaned against the chair opposite Janus. They smiled and shook their head.

"Only if you're interested in taking it."

"My name is Roman," he said and sat sideways, kicking his legs out, "What might I call a flower such as yourself?" Oh, Janus liked this one.

"My name is Janus, but treat me right and you can call me anytime you want."

"I can't imagine anyone who would dare treat someone as gorgeous and lethal as you wrong," Roman said with a laugh that made roses bloom under Jan's cheeks.

"I can't imagine you came over just to tell me I'm pretty."

"That would be too bold of me, but don't doubt that I would after I got to know the mind behind the masterpiece."

"You have a way with words, Roman, but I'm not here for prose."

"Then allow me to offer this next dance," he hummed and offered his hand. Janus smirked and took it gracefully. His nails were perfectly trimmed and polished, much like the rest of him. His grip was firm but gentle and he was more than willing to help Janus to their feet.

"With pleasure."

----

The next morning Janus woke up in their bed alone. The frustration from the night before was still potent, a sour taste that wouldn't leave their mouth. Roman was a ruthless charmer and a talented dancer. Janus thought they might have finally gotten lucky and found someone who would want to spend the night cuddling or more. But no. Roman moved on to the next pretty face later that evening.

This was not the first time Janus had been pushed aside for someone else. This wasn't going to be the last time either. It was so easy to find a piece of eye candy that would look better on some CEO's arm. It was just too easy to get over the mysterious allure for some semblance of normalcy. Even then, almost every promise was false.

Janus was done beating around the bush. They got up and dressed and went to make a pot of coffee. They had a long day ahead of them and an idea so crazy it just might work.

They sipped their drink and browsed the web in search of just the right person to get the job done. If people were going to pass on their fem-coded look, they needed a fashion expert to make sure they were irresistible with a more masculine look.

"Davinci of the Threads," Janus hummed to themself and read through the webpage. It was a trans-friendly place, which was a bonus. They liked the designs they saw and decided to book an appointment online for later that day. With any luck, they wouldn't have too much trouble explaining themself.

----

The old brick storefront was unassuming, but the second Janus walked inside they were greeted with some of the most intricately designed goth clothing. The purple walls were lined with coats and dresses and the counter in the back held a few small articles. But it was the man behind the counter who caught their eye.

He was gruff with dark eyeshadow and a ripped purple t-shirt. His eyes were locked on Janus warily and he fidgeted with the tape measurer draped over his shoulders.

"Hello, I'm looking for a Virgil Segreti," Janus said innocently and approached the counter, "I have an appointment."

"Janus?" the man asked with some interest.

"That would be me."

"I'm Virgil. What can I help you with? Looking to try a less sunny look, Lucy?" he asked and motioned to the black and yellow polka dot dress Janus wore.

"Something like that. I want to look like someone else. I want to dress as a man."

Virgil pouted and studied them for a moment.

"Wanna be more specific?"

"A three piece suit, preferably blue," Janus answered with all the false confidence of a noble about to meet the guillotine.

"Come to the back with me. I need your measurements," Virgil said, "And the hell if I let you leave my shop with a blue suit!"

(Next) (End)

[smokeybrandreviews]

Malpractice

I wanted to write a proper review of Ratched on Netflix. I powered through those first eight episodes and had opinions. My notes were as plentiful as the plots holes and abandoned narrative threads in the show, itself. I wanted to give an honest opinion on what i saw but, as i began to type out my impressions, realized how conflicted i am about this show. I enjoyed what i watched but it wasn’t good. I loved the narrative we were given but this doesn’t like up with what we know about the could One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest built in both book and film form. I love how this thing is shot, the use of color and atmosphere to distinguish but it’s in stark contrast to the bleak, plain, feel of the original story. I loved watching this show but i hated every bit of the content. How was this possible? Why did this show resonate and alienate at the same time?

I actually had to stop writing my review and think about this contradiction. I don’t speak much about this aspect of my life, but i am a voracious reader. I love stories. I love literature. I’ve digested all of the classic, some more than once. I’ve read Clockwork and Lolita as well all the requisite Shakespeare and Marlowe. I’ve consumed Orwell, Austen, Tennyson, Hemingway, Capote, and Twain. I adore Wells, Plato and Dante while respecting the craft of Rowling, even if i don’t particularly like or agree with her politics. My tastes run the gambit which allows me to recognize great storytelling in other media. That’s probably why i enjoy RPGs and cinema so much. Some of my favorite books are The Illiad, War of the Worlds, The Count of Mote Cristo, Dante’s Inferno, The DaVinci Code, and, more to the point, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I love that book and have read it several times. It’s an absolute classic. It’s film adaption is one of the best I've ever seen and it’s in that understanding that i realized why i hate Ratched so much. This ain’t her. This ain’t the same character or story or world. This show is something wholly different, masquerading as something that i know and love.

Ratched is a derivative Bates Motel clone, dressed up in Ryan Murphy’s familiar aesthetic, slathered in a superficial coat of Cuckoo paint. There is a distinct Hitchcockian influence that runs through this entire production, but one that clumsily steals not reverently homages. Calling Ratched, American Horror Story: Poor Man’s Hitchock, is not far from the truth. That's both good and bad. Independently, this is a dope show. The characters are compelling. There’s enough melodrama to keep you interested. Certain levels of intrigue beguile the audience into returning episode after episode. And I'd definitely be lying if i said this show wasn’t some of the most gorgeous production i have ever seen. Ratched is f*cking gorgeous. But, just like Murphy’s flagship AHS, there is no substance under all of that shine. I’ve heard a lot of reviewers comment about how, as a period piece, it should be more faithful to the racial tension of the era but that stuff doesn’t bother me as much. If this was some sort of re-enactment, like an autobiography, I'd expect that level of realism. But this sh*t is a fever dream recalled through a Mildred Ratched filter so you have to take that sh*t with a grain of salt. It’s unfortunate that the entire show was produced with a whole lot of salt. I enjoyed what i watched, divorced from what it’s pretending to be.

If Ratched was it’s own weird, period, macabre, bloodbath, then sure, I can see this narrative working on it’s own. It would definitely work better as part of an established franchise like AHS. That’s what this show is. As a Cuckoo's Nest prequel, it's f*cking awful. I love Sarah Paulson. She's f*cking exceptional at her craft and doesn't disappoint here. Her Ratched, however, is not the same woman from the film and definitely not the character from the book. I stated before that One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is one of my favorites. Nurse Ratched is my favorite character in that story, after Chief. I know more about her, who she is, how she feels, than i do McMurphy, and it’s his f*cking story to tell. The character presented in this show is not the character presented in the original narrative. I understand that Ratched takes place several years before we meet her in Cuckoo but there is such a stark discrepancy between the two characters that they simply cannot be the same woman. I cannot see Paulson’s Ratched growing into the book’s Ratched. This Ratched is is completely different in both demeanor and presentation. They are near opposites. There is just way too much thematic dissonance to bridge these two characters organically and no amount of scripted episodes will ever be able to broach that gap. This show missed the entire point of who Ratched is supposed to be. This is the origin story of a serial killer, not a dictator. This Ratched could become the Hannibal Lecter, not Joseph Stalin.

This ain't Nurse Ratched but it's still a pretty dope character to see and Paulson plays her mad sinister. The world around Paulson’s impostor is rich with conflict, drama, and tension. It fails as a period narrative in so many ways but, using that era as more of a loose framing for a cast that is way more diverse than it would have any right to be if this was true to the time, works. There are great costumes an sets that ring true to the look of that time. Even if it's just an artificial facade, all of it is incredibly easy on the eyes. This show carries some pretty strong characters outside of Paulson’s impostor, all performed just as great, all worth experiencing. I can’t say that i was completely gripped by the plot but i wasn’t overly hateful of it either. I mean, i was at first, but the second i stopped thinking of this thing as a Cuckoo prequel and more of an AHS loosely based on the book, i was okay with it. Ratched is an easy, gorgeous, watch filled with enough character shenanigan to keep you engaged as long as you can disconnect from the source material and accept that Ryan Murphy is TV’s Zack Snyder. I wasn't impressed with the first season but I liked it enough that I won't fight about it getting a second.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 1X19 Provenance

aight, let’s go bois

damn, no previously on this time?

wow young couple I’m sure they won’t die tragically

OH THE PAINTING MOVED

Are all the paintings haunted now?

oh my god and she’s INCREDIBLY beaten up oh my god

Dean picking up girls vs. Sam hunting for a case like a NERD

Ah ok there’s that behavior, there we go 

Sam: Ah yes my brother is hungover, I’M GONNA MESS WITH HIM

sibling YES 

~classical music plays~

the zoom up on all the license plates and the impala’s being REALLY dented? yes i like that

and they Shalt Now Be Kicked Out for idk not being on the list or whatever

Dean: Bro someone’s hitting on you

Dean please stop eating all the mini-quiches

What in the Disco Motel did they end up in

Well this is Awkward

Sam is going on a date! for the Case! something ish? ah whatever 

THIS HURTS ME IFASPH WHY IS THERE A WINE LIST

The close ups on their faces are like just....increasing the awkwardness whyyy

Ah yes time for the “demons killed my last girlfriend like a few months ago” talk

See this is another case of the suspense, cuz we know it’s the painting, 

These two are really fucking efficient when it comes to breaking into places aren’t they

Ah ha and it comes back, I knew there was too much time left for this to be over

“Ah yes here’s the 20 bucks I owe you” aka “I found my wallet ha ha” 

“ill leave you two crazy kids alone,” Dean what the fuck

“OH MY GOD....That pAINTING tho,” hahahahaha nice save Sam

BAHAHAHAHA regular old hijinks I’m enjoying this a lot after watching WandaVision

aCcoRdinG to thE lOre Sam no

This old crime buff is just so fun, he’s having so much fun with it

Columbian Neckties CANNOT be a term

“like a DaVinci code thing? No I’m waiting for the movie” BAHAAHAH

IT IS, but it’s 100% NOT slitting throats, also it’s post-mortem, not to die, and you pull the tongue through the neck hole? what the fuck

Hey look it’s Jessica, we haven’t angsted about her in a while

Dean you can’t just tell your brother to get laid as a way to solve his feeligns

Dean pretending he’s not snooping is HILARIOUS

Hey look the dad moved

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DAD

SIR WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE

JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS CREEPY

Sarah’s scream woke the kitty up heh 

“weLcOme To OuR WorlD” :) Dean what the fuck

Sarah literally takes it completely in stride i love her

“Sam....Marry that girl” DEAN THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SUPPORT YOUR BROTHER

Sam has Emo Boi hair it’s hilarious

My god they’re really stretching the budget with this Super Spy Break In thing they have going 

“notice anything strange” “Where do I start?” Sam smirks

Sam likes women that can kick his ass, mostly

The fucking eyelash thing, that’s so like...young

SAM IS 22 THAT HURTS ME

SAM COME ON SHE’S SO COOL

whEn pEopLE geT cLoSe theY gEt Hurt Emo boi sam confirmed

“it’s like I’m cursed or something” PFFT well that’s on the nose isn’t it

Sarah kinda looks like Miley Cyrus

“You don’t get to make my choices for me” YES SARAH YOU GO GIRL

*head pops in* hey am i interrupting something DEAN

BAHAHAHA and they’re casually digging up a grave

Dean is DESPERATELY trying to be supportive

he plays the FUCKING RADIO FOR MOOD MUSIC D EA N 

OH FUCK IT WAS THE KID FUCKING RUN

in a shocking turn of events, it was actually NOT the dad damn

if it’s the adopted girl i swear

the doll it’s always the FUCKING DOLL

that one shot with sarah and the girl nose to nose jesus christ

Dean did you seriously not think to shoot the glass

ah yes of course the lighter doesn’t work

thank god sarah’s alive

SERIOUSLY ONE FEMALE CHARACTER P LE A SE 

I KNEW IT ADOPTED ONE

Dear god this was awkward dsf;ahfhias

oh come one Sam she’s so cute what the Hell is wrong with you

well, ironically, hell, but

Sam goes back to kiss her AWWW

Dean: that’s my boy Dean what the fuck is wrong with you 

I mean I don’t think we need to hear the list this time but

Ok wrap up:

1. solid, just like...normal average episode? no emotions either way

2. Please. One girl. Sarah was so cool, I want more of her :( 

3. Very James Bond-esque, which made me laugh more than anything

4. I did like the bait-and-switch with the dad though, but it felt kinda rushed

idk not many thoughts this time around ig

[faintblueivy]

“She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” BoruSara 🙏

Thank you for this amazing prompt! I had fun writing it! Hope you enjoy this as well! It’s sort of a Real Life AU.

Girl like Her

It was funny to see Boruto behaving like a confused raging bull. Especially the way his nose flared up and the manner in which he stomped against the ground hard. A pout adorned his face similar to that of a petulant, spoiled child who just has been refused a bag of candies.

A knowing smirk etched over Shikadai’s lips.

“Sarada again?”

He’s met with a fierce glare from Boruto.

“Who else?”

Shikadai shook his head in mirth. He was not surprised. After all, Boruto’s only problem was Sarada. The only person out here capable of controlling his mischievous streak and dangerous habit of playing pranks.

It was actually hilarious to see that the great Boruto Uzumaki in a pinch. Boruto could’ve any girl he wished, thanks to his attractive physique, golden hair and brilliant blue eyes. He had a charming and friendly attitude, with an equal parts of athletic and academic personality. He was so ‘cool’ that the girls would swoon over him and boys would respect him.

But sadly enough for him, none of that charm and hotness ever worked, when, Boruto stood in front of Sarada. The girl was completely resistant against Boruto and his antics.

She was opposite of Boruto in every way possible. Her studious and serious personality was in contrast to his easy going attitude. She was a focused person with a straight aiming towards her goals, refusing to get distracted. She had an authoritative element prominent in her behavior but she never hesitated to help any person in need. Girls adored her and she definitely had her fair share of admirers. A lot of admirers actually.

It was a mystery to everyone. A mystery surrounding their friendship. 

How does their friendship even works? 

They were so explosive together that it was stunning. Any moment they could be trying to strangle and be at the other’s throat and any moment they’d be comforting one another with loving words and calming gestures. But any sane person could see the amount of adoration and care they had for each other.

“What happened this time?”

Inojin asked, his smile almost taunting.

Boruto settled himself on the couch and buried his head in his palms and groaned loudly.

 “It’s complicated.”

“Since when did handling a girl became complicated for casanova Boruto? Huh?”

Inojin half laughed and half smirked.

Boruto's annoyed gaze flickered over to Inojin, his eyes were narrowed in slight indignation.

“You know it, Inojin. Not a girl like her.”

Inojin raises a blond brow in interest to Boruto’s response.

“A girl like her? So, she’s different than others you’ve had?”

“Of course she is!” Boruto bellowed, “They’re not even close to her. There’s no comparison! She’s much more perplexing. She--She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know, but harder to crack.” 

“I can help you with that, I think.” A new but familiar voice supplied from the side. 

All the three boys get startled at appearance of the owner of the voice, eyes blinking as they stare at his perpetual smile.

"Mitsuki? Where’d you come from?” Boruto asked, a little confused.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” His signature smile turned wide and all the other three of them shivered at his creepiness.

“So, I was saying that I can help you.” Mitsuki continued.

Even though Boruto is skeptical of Mitsuki’s idea, he decided to listen. Because something is better than nothing and when it comes to Sarada, he is always at a loss.

Mitsuki’s golden eyes shine with all the seriousnes.

“Be honest. Tell her your feelings. She’ll understand.”

Blue eyes widened in response to Mitsuki’s words. “You think I should?” when he received encouraging nods from all three to them, he smiled defeatedly.

“No other choice, huh? Fine, maybe she’ll understand and forgive me.”  

 He then left to find Sarada and apologize to her for his previous misbehavior, murmuring to himself and practicing an apology all the way.

“Whoa Mitsuki! I never knew you were such an amazing love expert.” Inojin looked impressed and so did Shikadai.

“No, I’m not. I just quoted a few lines from this book.” Mitsuki smiled and pulled out something from beneath his sleeves.

The shock was too much. Shikadai and Inojin fainted after discovering that the relationship advice for Boruto and Sarada was derived from a copy of Icha-Icha paradise.

Mitsuki is definitely Borusara’s ship captain. I love him seriously! And anyone, any idea about how Boruto’s apology must have went? Anyway, don’t forget to share your views for this drabble with me and please remember that my ask box is always open for you guys!

Have a good day!

The links for ffnet and ao3 are here.

And my other stories can be found here.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Top Men

I’ve never seen all of Raiders of the Lost Arc in it’s entirety. This thing came out when i was a kid and was the opposite of what i was about back then. My thing was giant monsters, space robots, and neon cyberpunk. Indiana Jones spent the majority of his time in a f*cking desert. That sh*t seemed boring to me. As i grew older and my tastes expanded, i found myself kind of into a lot of the things portrayed in that initial film. Archaeology, lost history, biblical mythology; I find that sh*t fascinating. Ancient lien theory actually intrigue me a great deal, mostly it’s utter dismissal on both sides of the argument, so when Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out, i was all for it. Once it hit DVD. I did not see that sh*t in theaters. To my surprise, i rather enjoyed it. Apparently, however, that is not what an Indiana Jones film was supposed to be. As i perused Netflix, i noticed that Raiders was available for streaming. I figured, what the hell? It’s been probably thirty years since i last watched this thing. Let me see if i agree with the general consensus that this movie is, indeed, a proper classic of cinema.

The Great

The best thing about this movie, i think, is definitely the score. Holy sh*t, man, the music in this film definitely makes the picture. John Williams is a goddamn genius, man. Dude rarely creates something that isn’t all sorts of classic.

After that absolutely epic score, the next best thing about this film is easily Harrison Ford. If you made a movie about Han Solo but placed it on earth, during the thirties, and turned him into an archaeologist instead of a scoundrel, you’d have Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones, jr. Ford gives such a charming, electric, charismatic performance as Jones, it’s no wonder the character became a staple of the American cinematic lexicon.

The Better

 Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood makes this film for me. She is the standout, only outshined by Ford’s Indiana, himself. She’s outstanding as Indy’s foil and absolutely necessary to sell the character. She’s caught a lot, sure, but it’s almost always by numerous men who probably outweigh her by a few pounds and, even then, she never just surrenders. You rarely hear her scream and she almost always lands her own solid licks in a proper fight. Lucas sure knows how to write dope female leads when he tries. When he doesn’t, we get Willie Scott. I’ll get to THAT broad when i review Temple of Doom. I got A LOT to say about that chick, man.

The action in this thing is brazen, dangerous, and appreciated. They don;t make movies like this anymore. Everything in here is practice, Every stung, fight, explosion, and set piece was done with physical, real life, stuff. You don't see this level of film making anymore because of all the CG effect proliferation which was, in part, championed by both Lucas and Spielberg. That sh*t is kind of hilarious to me. One of the greatest action films ever made, rife with practical effects, is directly responsible for the mitigation of the very thing that makes this movie so special.

Speaking of the direction, Spielberg is in fine form with this one. 80s Spielberg is hard to touch. He sh*tted classics during this decade, solidifying his place as one of the greats to ever do it. ET, Poltergeist (even though people say it’s Toby Hooper was the one who helmed it, Spielberg definitely ghost directed this thing), The Goonies as Second Unit Director, Empire of the Sun, The Color Purple, and Temple of Doom, all came out under his watch. Dude was prolific as f*ck.

The writing on this flick is decent. George Lucas understands how to craft a story. He has a formula and he follows that sh*t religiously but it works. He wrote Star Wars. He wrote Indiana Jones. He wrote American Graffiti. Dude knows his stuff and it really shows in Raiders. The characters feel real and actually pretty charming. I found myself rooting for Marion almost immediately, masterclass in character introduction.

The Good

I like the narrative crafted for this tale, the actual story. There are a lot of great ideas put forth, creative use of biblical imagery and christian mythology. I love that sh*t. It’s why i adore Dan Brown’s stuff so much. Say what you will about The DaVinci Code, i love that mess and it really is kind of a mess. This story is not. It get right to the point, focusing n the characters and their relationships rather than the actual Christ Judaeo-Christian imagery. In the 80s, that was absolutely necessary but i think it makes for a stronger, cleaner, narrative overall.

I rather enjoy this cast. Everyone is quite god in their respective roles, overall. I had no idea Alfred Molina was in this so that was a nice surprise. It’s always fun seeing people i know later in life, in the young, vibrant, beginnings of their careers. John Rhys-Davies was also fun to see. I know him from Sliders but seeing him in this was a real treat.

This movie is absolutely gorgeous. It’s definitely nature porn, even if most of it is sand and brown. The shot composition if this thing is spectacular. I was kind of impressed with how vivid this world looks even though there is so little of it shown. There is a ton of it show, yes, but most of it is in the desert or some sh*t. You can only see the same kinds of rocks so many times before you hate seeing those rocks. Raiders does a great job of shooting those rocks in interesting, dynamic ways, so the setting never overstays it’s welcome.

But them melting Nazis, tho.

The Bad

So, there really isn’t a whole lot of bad in this. Admittedly, Raiders is a near perfect film. I can concede that. But i still wasn’t really entertained by it. I still was gripped with what i saw. I don’t understand the allure of this franchise on a personal level. Objectively, sure, it’s fantastic. But, for me, this sh*t is boring.

Raiders feels like one, long ass, chase scene with spots of exposition before another, long ass, chase scene. The dialogue is charming, the chemistry between the leads is palpable, and the action is some of the best on film, but blergh. I was never captivated nor did i care about anyone in this film.

The Verdict

I don’t like this movie. Absolutely disconnected from it. I find it plodding, pretentious, and a little boring. I do understand why everyone who holds this film so dear, absolutely hates Crystal Skull. There is a distinct shift in tone between the two and it’s actually quite jarring. This is coming from someone who doesn’t even really like the franchise at all. It’s kind of surreal how alien that Indiana feels to this Indiana. That said, as a proper film critique, Raiders is f*cking phenomenal. Objectively, this is a near perfect example of a film in this genre. There is inspired direction, great performances, gorgeous scene composition, rich cinematography, and characters that have stood the test of time to become stalwarts of US culture. I mean, i knew exactly who Marion Ravenwood was when she was introduced in Crystal Skull and i had only seen Raiders once when i was, like, five or six. That tells you exactly how beloved this movie is within the cultural zeitgeist. Raiders f the Lost Ark is an absolutely great film. It is to the action genre as Alien is to sci-fi horror, and y’all know how high in regard i hold Alien. That’s not praise i heap flippantly. All four of these flicks are on Netflix so might check them all out eventually. Maybe. That said, personally, i do not like this movie at all. Still doesn’t do enough to shake my giant monster, space robot, neon cyberpunk sensibilities.

[definitelynotaminion]

Alright, send me prompts. Preferably Naruto

And preferably femslash because I’m trying to get Bingo on my sapphic september card but I kind of need a break

PROMPT LIST http://blackkatmagic.tumblr.com/post/176501846800/caydenhathaway-ok-but-you-know-what-trope-i

Accidental sex

“Anything you can do I can do better INCLUDING THAT” sex

“You played a prank on me and now I’m going to play one on you except oops this accidentally got hot” sex

“You made an inaccurate assumption about *insert sexual or sexuality misnomer here* and I’m going to teach you the truth” sex

“You think you’re so smart so I’m going to teach you a lesson” sex

“Do you think I look good/hot/provocative in this? Wait is this turning you on???” sex

“You don’t know what *insert kink here* is and I’m really bad at explaining things and now we’re doing it oops” sex

“I bet I can dance/move/act like that and I don’t even have to be a dancer/stripper/actor/whatever wait are you turned on?” sex

“I lost a bet to you and the circumstances were supposed to be a joke but I took them seriously” sex

“You were joking about something and I took you seriously” sex

“You seem to think that __ won’t feel good and I intend to prove you wrong” sex

“You’re intentionally getting under my skin so I threaten to spank you/playfully spank you and now you look like you just got banged against a wall” sex

“I didn’t know you were a sub and when I called you a good boy/girl you almost cried” sex

“I didn’t know you were a dom and when I called you Sir/Ma'am you almost jumped me” sex

“Playing a prank on our freinds to make them think we’re a couple and now we’re in bed together” sex

“I’m fixing you *insert appliance/furniture/house thing hee* for you and now I’m sweaty and half naked and you’re drooling” sex

“I noticed the way you were watching me eat this popsicle so I purposely started making it an inuendo and now we’re both hot and bothered” sex

“Haha that thing they do in movies/porn/online is so corny like no way that’s actually hot haha oops it is” sex

“Freinds can totally watch porn together and nothing can happen…. no they can’t” sex

“I showed you *insert sexual thing here* as a joke but you’re actually turned on” sex

“You found my sex toys and I teasingly offered to demonstrate them welp here we are” sex

“I started pretending to dirty talk to you an hour ago and it stopped being pretending 58 minutes ago” sex

“All I’m saying is that I’ve been told I’m a good lay, wanna find out?” sex

“You said you don’t like __ but I bet the people you were with just don’t know how to do it, I, however, have experience and bet I could make you like it” sex

“We platonically slept together last night because of circumstances and we both woke up horny” sex

“This started as a tickle fight and it isn’t tickling anymore” sex

“We’re just bros being bros and doing something 100% platonic but somehow we’re turning eachother on because of not-so-burried feelings for eachother and we can’t make it stop” sex

Accidental sex ok?

OR: Other prompts. I’m not picky.

Actually here’s another list from Kat’s blog

Prompt List of Sarcasm

13 September 2018

SOURCE

eternalmikaelson:

“Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

“Define normal.”

“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

“Were you dropped on your head?”

“She��s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“If I survive, can I go home?”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

“I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

“Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.”

“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

“Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I need therapy after this.”

“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

“I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”

“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

“If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

“I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

“Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

“The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

“Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.”

“What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

“This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

“A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”

“Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

“I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”

“You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

“What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“I like you. You’re different.”

“You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

“I care so little, I almost passed out.”

“Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

“You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

“The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

“You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”

“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

“Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

“Have fun being deal.” “I will.”

“Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

“It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

“I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

“The girl is strange no question.”

“Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

“I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

“You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

“I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

“I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”

“If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

“I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

“Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

“You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

“I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

“My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

“She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

“And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”

“What does not kill you will likely try again.”

“Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”

“And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

“I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”

“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

“In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”

“I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”

“Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”

“This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

[sweethails]

Prompt List #7 (Q-V)

Send a request with the number(s) and which prompt list it’s from if you don’t give me the prompt list I will just assume its from #1. and also Give me the character you want!  

[Example request]: Can I please have number 2 from prompt list #7 and number 72 from prompt list #10 for peter parker where the reader finds out Pete’s spiderman

You can send in your own prompt(s) or just send in a request without one. these are here to use at your leisure (Most of these are not mine. Credit goes to those who made them.) I am add to this list occasionally so check back later for new ones. This is prompt #7 (Q-V)

I do not take straight up smut requests even if some prompts sound slightly dirty. (I might change my mind who knows send me your smut request and i might decide to do it) There may be some repeat prompts but bare with me I’m trying to clean them up. Thanks enjoy!!!!!!

There are 282 prompts in this list

Quick, pretend your talking to me."

Quit beating me up!"

Quit looking at me with that stupid expression. You’re pissing me off."

Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that."

Really? Right now?"

Really?"

Regardless of what they think, I know you’re an amazing person."

Remember that time I said I thought you were cool? I lied."

Remember that ‘I owe you’ you gave me? Well this is it. You ARE wearing this couples costume"

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither."

Remember when we were little?"

Remind me to kill you. Please."

Rise and shine, motherfucker."

Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change."

Run for it!"

RUN YOU IDIOT! RUN!"

Run!"

Running seems to be all you’re good at."

Safety first. What are you? FIVE?"

Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity."

Say what?"

Scaring the kids? You already do that without a mask"

Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons."

Scoot over.  I wanna sit next to you."

Seriously!?! The powers out?"

Seriously, staring at me won’t get me to be your new years date."

Sex doesn’t make you any better at playing Overwatch."

She always burned so brightly."

She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips."

She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack."

She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage."

She’s dead…"

She’s hiding behind the sofa."

She’s hot, but she’s evil."

She’s lost without you."

She’s not yours."

Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was really."

Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go."

Shhh. I know."

Shhh…  You need to be quiet."

Shooting star. Make a wish."

Should we decorate Fall or Halloween themed?"

Shouldn’t you be with him/her?"

Show me what’s behind your back."

Shut up and kiss me already."

Shut up and kiss me."

Shut up."

Since when have we ever been friends?"

Sing along with me"

Sirf tum hi ho"

Sit down and eat the damn food!"

Sit in my lap."

Sit on my lap"

Sit still"

Sleep in your car if you don’t like it."

Smile!"

Snow angels!"

Snowball fight!!!"

So am I supposed to be weirded out that you’re a werewolf? Dude, I know."

So I was driving past a pet store and couldn’t help but wonder how cute an animal would be like in our home.."

So stick that in your juice box and suck it."

So that’s it? It’s over?"

So turns out people from my school are actual vampires but that’s cool because the chances of me becoming a vampire just went up."

So, is Halloween your favourite time of year by default then?"

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Somebody’s cranky.Somebody needs to shut up."

Someday you’ll go far… and I hope you stay there."

Something’s not right…"

Sometimes I forget my middle name."

Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies."

Sometimes I really don’t like you"

Sometimes I really don’t like you."

Sometimes I wish the sun wouldn’t go down."

Sometimes you have to think of yourself as a priority."

Son of a bitch."

Sorry doesn’t fix everything."

Sorry I ruined your birthday and summoned a demon, but they were real nice. They even helped us bake the cake."

Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!"

Sorry I’m late."

Sorry, this is just really different from our constant arguing."

Sorry. I don’t speak skank."

Sorry."

Sorry… I wasn’t born with a filter."

Sort yourself out first."

Sounds like you have a problem."

So… Looks like we’re the only ones without dates, huh."

Stand up."

Stay awake."

Stay here tonight."

Stay with me forever."

Stay with me"

Stay"

Stay."

Step out that door andIswear we’re done."

Stop being difficult."

Stop being so cute."

Stop being such a baby."

Stop biting that fucking lip!"

Stop copying me."

Stop distracting me!"

Stop distracting me"

Stop eating the kids’ candies."

Stop hogging all the blankets!"

Stop ignoring me…"

STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

Stop it."

Stop making empty promises!"

Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not."

Stop staring at me."

Stop stroking your plushie."

Stop teasing me so much…"

Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night."

Stupidity Isn't a crime, so you’re free to go."

Such big evil in such a little thing."

Summoning a monster.

Sure.  Why not?"

Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?"

Take a picture, it’ll last longer."

Take me home. Now."

Take my jacket. It’s cold outside."

Take off your shirt."

Take that back!"

Take your medicine."

Talk to me."

Tea is so much better than cocoa!"

Tell her the truth!"

Tell me a story."

Tell me once more"

Tell me this isn’t you."

Tell me what’s wrong."

Tell me you need me."

Thank you, Captain Obvious."

Thank you, for everything."

Thanks for helping me back there."

Thanks for nothing."

Thanks for the gift… I guess."

Thanks for the.. Uh.. Gift?"

That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth."

That is way too expensive."

That look in his eyes. That was enough to tell me he didn’t feel the same anymore."

That night never happened!"

That was an order."

That was kind of hot."

That was last year's theme."

That was supposed to be me, not him."

That was unexpected."

That was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done."

That wasn’t funny."

That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?"

That’s doing me head in"

That’s how the story goes."

That’s in the past."

That’s just adorable."

That’s my theme song."

That’s never going to happen."

That’s new."

That’s not even fair."

That’s not fair."

That’s not gonna happen."

That’s not helping."

That’s perfect for them!"

That’s starting to get annoying"

That’s sweet."

The bow was perfect before, but then I got paranoid and had to check to make sure it was still in there."

The corner store didn’t have your favorite, so I got you this instead."

The diamond in your engagement ring is fake."

The female of the species is more deadly than the male."

The first second I saw you and I couldn’t get over how beautiful you were."

The girl is strange no question."

The government didn’t give me a choice."

The house is so warm."

The kids said they miss you but they don’t want you to come home."

The kids, they ambushed me."

The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids."

The last thingIsaid was for him to never come back."

The least you could do is not hog the blanket."

The moment you saw me as a bet was the moment you fucked up."

The nights still young."

The night’s still young."

The one day I can return to this realm, and this is the greeting I get?"

The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait."

The racoon did it

The store ran out of Easter eggs."

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready."

The tree looks… Nice…"

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor."

The way I feel when I’m with you…"

The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange."

The world was too cruel for us."

Then come here and make me."

There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that."

There are some things you’re just going to have to let go."

There is no us, there never was."

There is no ‘us’."

There is nothing on this Earth that you could do to make me go back to you."

There is nothing wrong with you."

There is nothing you could do to make me love you any less. Okay? My love doesn’t come with strings."

There was never an us."

There were two so I figured one was mine-"

There’s a fucking ghost in our bedroom."

There’s a herd of them!"

There’s always another way."

There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendship."

There’s no way I’m going out in that weather!"

There’s nothing I can do anymore."

There’s nothing quite like being lied to, is there?"

There’s only one bed."

There’s only one bed…"

There’s so much blood."

There’s so much snow in my boots."

There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist."

They can’t hurt you anymore."

They didn’t deserve you."

They hide paper towels in their room and I don’t know why."

They may not understand you, but I do."

They’re going to love you, don’t worry!"

They’re gone."

They’re kind to everyone, even me. I guess that was my weakness all along."

They’re monsters."

They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off."

They’re right behind me aren’t they?"

They’re so cute when they’re asleep."

They’re your best friend before anything else."

This always happens"

This has to stay between you and me."

This is a totally inappropriate soundtrack."

This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you."

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person."

This is awkward."

This is definitely going on Snapchat."

This is delicious!"

This is fucking boring"

This is fun.Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body."

This is girl talk, so leave."

This is going to hurt."

This is hard for me too."

This is just great."

This is new."

This is the best cookie I’ve very eaten."

This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done."

This is the fifth night this month, just tell me what’s going on."

This is the opposite of whatItold you to do."

This is the worst cookie I’ve ever eaten."

This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it."

This is why I fell in love with you."

This is why you’re my best friend"

This isn’t fair!"

This isn’t going to go very well, now is it?"

This isn’t goodbye."

This isn’t my idea of a good time."

This isn’t what I wanted."

This isn’t what it looks like."

This isn’t who I am."

This isn’t your fault, okay? I promise."

This isn’t your fault, okay?"

This is… exactly what it looks like."

This place gives me the creeps."

This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad."

This place is a mess."

This place is creepy."

This shall be my day! Why? Because I declared it!"

This should be against some sort of rule."

This tastes horrible."

This was a mistake."

This was fun— Let's do it again sometime!"

This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2am and I should really go home…

Thou shall not enter thy room, heathen!"

Thought I might find you here"

Three cups of coffee wasn’t enough?"

Time changes people."

Transformation!

Trick or Treat?"

Truce"

Trust me."

Trust you? You don’t know the meaning of the word."

Truth hurts, doesn’t it?"

Try it"

Tu hali iyk zaalim hai"

Um.. somebody broke that."

Um… I’d rather not."

Up to roasting marshmallows?"

Volunteering at a Haunted House.

  Other Prompts Here Masterlist Here Request Here

[shirtlesssammy]

1x19: Provenance

Now:

We open to a fancy couple admiring an olde tyme portrait they recently won at a charity auction. They won it, loved it SO much they ran home and hung it above their fireplace first thing --didn’t even change out of their fancy clothes. That’s love, folks! The wife finds the family in the photograph to be a bit creepy, but it seems to turn the husband on.

They decide to take the evening into the bedroom. As the husband locks up, we watch the father in the photograph move his head! The house gets darker, the music gets creepier, the straight razor in the photo gets missing-er. The wife calls for the husband to hurry, and the husband strips as he heads to bed. He starts to crawl into bed in the pitch black but recoils and turns on the light to find his wife dead and blood everywhere! He falls to the floor, turning to see something off screen, and screams!

Sam and Dean are enjoying some downtime at a bar. Well, Dean’s enjoying it, but Sam’s busy doing research. Dean wants a bit of shore leave (omg, that’s all he ever wants but the life keeps reeling him back in. DEAN.) He tries helping Sam hook up with one of the women he’s talking to, but Sam is not interested.

So much is said --and not said-- with this exchange. Dean’s trying to make Sam feel better then only way Dean knows how, but it’s the exact opposite of what Sam wants (Just wait Sammy, older brother’s got your back.) He does want to hunt though and he caught a case. Couple, throats slashed in own home. Their dad’s journal(!) notes a pattern in history. Time to check it out. Dean wants a little more time with the ladies at the bar before they head out though. I don’t necessarily miss this part of Dean, but he is one charming motherfucker.

The next morning, while Dean sleeps off the night before, Sam sweeps the couple’s home and comes up with nothing. It’s free of the supernatural and all of the couple’s belongings. They head to the auction house to investigate. (Sidenote, love the tracking shot of the cars, and Baby all muddy and vintage at the end!)

Ah, because I’ve never fully bought the blue-collar vibe we’re supposed to take from Sam and Dean, when it’s highlighted it strikes me more than usual. Dean is out of his element at the auction house. Sam is not. (But Dean is also smart and can read people and read a room.)

They’re wearing their overshirts and Carthartts though and stick out like a sore thumb to Daniel Blake, the auction house owner.

The brothers start to look over all the pieces up for auction, and Sam sees the portrait --and he sees Sarah Blake, the proprietor's daughter, and an intellectual rival that stirs Sam’s heart.

Sarah and Sam make heart eyes. Dean notices said heart eyes. I had heart eyes all over this moment.

Daniel Blake breaks up the little party and tells the brothers to leave. They head to the motel and Jerry Wanek went a little overboard with the decorating this week.

Sam gives Dean a lesson on provenances and how they could use them to track the pieces of art--see if they match with the past. Dean suggests Sam call Sarah to get the information.

Sam and Sarah get that dinner (and Sam’s bang game is STRONG.)

Sam’s wine ordering game? Not so strong. (Um, I know he was studying a lot and I guess he’s just a doofus white college boy so maybe wine country wouldn’t be that interesting to him but he lived in wine country adjacent land for four years. You picked up nothing, Sam Winchester?) Sarah bails him out and orders “a beer.” Lol, fancy place only has one kind probs.

They bond over college and lack of dating, and loss of loved ones (Well, Sam can’t quite talk about it. SAMMY.) Sarah’s speech about losing her mom and going into a safe shell kind of hurt --like, has Sam ever left his shell?

Back at the motel, it’s revealed that Sarah just handed the provenances over to Sam (and I’d like to discuss Dean acting like he doesn’t have a spot on memory and flubbing the word again...Sam’s getting leads and taking control in this case. Do you think Dean’s trying to help him feel better by encouraging him this way?)

Sam finds that the portrait is the link to all the murders. They break into the auction house (and young Dean can scale a fence like a ninja)  and salt and burn the portrait.

Easy-peasy. The rest of the episode is just Sam and Sarah making googly eyes at each other. The end.

Oh, wait. NM.

The next morning, Dean realizes that he dropped his wallet at the auction house. They rush over there before it opens. Sarah finds them --and they’re both adorkable dorks. Sam feeds her the line of them leaving town, but Dean steps in an insists they’re sticking around for a bit. Heehee. Also, he found his wallet. Sarah suggests another date. Sam shuts it down. Frowny Face. He also sees the portrait they burned the night before! His “Oh my God!” cracked me up. His panic over the painting is pretty gold, insisting that they don’t sell it and hightailing it out of there to alert Dean of this new development. They decide they need to learn everything about the family in the painting.

To the library!

(Or bookstore or something?) The man helping them dumps a lot of information about the family. It seems the whole family was murdered, bodies cremated.

Meanwhile, Daniel Blake sells the painting anyway.

Sam points out some differences to the painting in a book and the real one. Dean reveals that he’s a very savvy reader when he admits to not reading The DaVinci Code. (Natasha: LOL) The brothers also talk about Sam’s reticence on forming a connection with Sarah. Sam doesn’t see the point --they’re just going to leave anyway. Dean thinks Sarah could be good for Sam. Sam’s evasive eye roll says he knows that to be true as well. Sam Winchester, king of running away from Dealing With It. For once, Dean is earnest and trying to find a way to help Sam. There were some walls broken down this evening, guys.

In the end, they need Sarah for the painting, so Sam calls her again, and finds out it was already sold.

At the buyer Evelyn’s house, our next victim sits in her chair and reads a book while the creepy family portrait gazes down at her from above the mantle. (Seriously what is it about this painting that makes people hang this IMMEDIATELY in their cozy living spaces?) The father in the painting moves again and a straight razor lifts into the air…

Outside, the Impala and Sarah’s van pull up like a swat team arriving on site. All three sprint into the house and find Evelyn nearly decapitated, still sitting primly in her seat. Sarah manages the presence of mind to notice the painting has changed (the father is now looking forward), even as she’s freaking the fuck out over finding a dead body.

Back at the Winchesters’ motel, Sarah demands answers. Sam lays out the truth for her. The supernatural is real and there’s something in that painting that’s killing every owner it can reach. Sarah takes this remarkably well and insists that she’ll accompany them on their monster hunt, thank you very much.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Dean’s laptop decoration? Dean, you adorable dork.

“Are we going or what?” Sarah demands about their mission to catch a murdering ghost, heading out the door without them.

“Sam,” Dean says (possibly halfway seriously), “marry that girl.”

Back at the latest victim’s house, they check out the painting, comparing it against the photocopy of the original they got from the book shop. (This is like those puzzle pictures I used to read as a child.) There’s a switchblade opened and closed, the father’s head position has changed, and the painting in the background is different. Now the painting behind our ghosty family features the family mausoleum instead of a placid landscape. Armed with this clue, Sam takes Sarah on a whirlwind date featuring not one - but four local cemetery visits!

The find the mausoleum de Merchant and break inside. The mausoleum features the family’s internment plaques for cremation, urns, and a handful of toys encased behind glass. As they examine the toys, an ominous breeze blows through the crypt. Dean notices that there aren’t enough urns on display. The dad’s cremains are missing.

Sam’s epic dream date continues, as he sits outside of a hospital with Sarah while Dean tries to dig up information about what happened to the dad’s body. Sam picks an eyelash from her cheek and implores her to make a wish. It’s...pretty cute, actually. Sarah takes a moment to press for answers from Sam about their relationship status. Sam’s answer: It’s complicated.

“When people are around me they get hurt,” Sam tells her. He doesn’t want to see the same thing happen to her. (Me: thinks about Sarah’s eventual death in season 8 and cries angry tears.)

I love Sarah’s response to Sam’s “stay away from me for your own good” line. “That’s very sweet, and very archaic,” she tells him. “I’m a big girl, Sam. It’s not your job to make decisions for me.” It starts to get emotional between them when TA DA! Interrupting Dean interrupts.

Dean reports that he’s uncovered the location of the dad’s body. They proceed to literally uncover it, digging out his grave and then salting and burning it while Sarah stands around and holds the flashlight.

Sam and Sarah head into the house to check out the painting. The dad is back to normal but now the little girl is completely gone from it. Uh oh. (Holy parallels to The Real Ghostbusters, Batman.) As Sam realizes the razor is also gone from the painting, a small girl’s evil cackling fills the room. The door slams shut.

Dean tries to open the door from the outside while Sam and Sarah scramble to find salt or iron to fend off the ghost. Enter: small creepy girl ghost dragging her dolly and holding a blade. Sam fumbles for an iron fireplace poker and swats the ghost away.

Sarah uses her antique know-how to bring Sam’s attention to the fact that dolls used to be made with the child’s actual hair. Dean races off to the cemetery and tries to break down the pane encasing the little girl’s doll. Meanwhile, Sam’s getting battered by the ghost (and Sarah’s turning her back on a blade-wielding homicidal ghost to try to help him).

At the mausoleum, Dean tries to bash the pane with the butt of his gun and then realizes...oh wait, he has a gun. He shoots, he scores. Dean bashes away the glass, pulls out his most unreliable lighter, and finally lights the doll on fire just as the girl advances on Sarah with her blade.

The doll’s burned. The girl’s back in the painting. And Sam got to fall onto Sarah during the fight and exchange a Moment. Yay? Sam - because he’s Sam - does not take advantage of this opportunity.

At last they wrap up the case. Sarah orders her people to burn the painting. Sarah and Sam share an awkward goodbye, made slightly less awkward when Dean stops third wheeling it and heads back to the car. Sarah points out that she made it through her Sam encounter alive so...if Sam wanted to see her sometime, then he should. (Boris: I will NEVER forgive Crowley for killing her.) Sam leaves, wistful looks still turned up to 11 but seconds later knocks on the door again. When Sarah opens it, they smile at each other and kiss.

The Da Vinci Quotes:

So what are we today Dean? I mean, are we rock stars, are we army rangers?

Like a Da Vinci Code deal?

We think that that painting is haunted.

This isn't exactly the first grave we've dug. Still think I'm a catch?

What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low-sodium freaks.

You guys seem to be uncomfortably comfortable with this.

We’re there, chuckles.

Oh My God!

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[primorcoin]

New Post has been published on https://primorcoin.com/cere-network-and-polygon-launch-nft-content-monetization-platform-davinci-blockchain-bitcoin-news/

Cere Network and Polygon Launch 'NFT Content Monetization' Platform Davinci – Blockchain Bitcoin News

On February 14, Cere Network and Polygon launched a non-fungible token (NFT) marketplace and Web3 platform called Davinci, a project that aims to bolster the security behind NFT data. The platform is described as an “all-in-one Web3 media platform” that leverages Cere’s decentralized data cloud (DDC) platform and the proof-of-stake blockchain network Polygon.

Cere Network Launches All-in-One Web3 Media Platform Built on Polygon

Non-fungible token (NFT) media has become a big deal and a billion-dollar industry during the last year. However, the space has become filled with controversies as well with issues pertaining to intellectual property and copyrights to things like immutability.

In March 2021, there was a furious debate over immutability concerns tied to NFT technology. Fred Jin, the co-founder of Cere Network believes that NFT content that’s not stored properly is an issue.

“Most NFT content is not stored securely on the blockchain,” Jin said in a statement during the Davinci launch. “This is a problem, simply because your NFT can lose its content and associated value. The Davinci platform solves this problem via Cere DDC’s secure decentralized content delivery innovations.” The Cere Network executive added:

We’re really breaking new ground here, both for the entertainment industry and consumer enterprises, through a new standard for decentralizing data/content along with the Polygon team.

Davinci’s Platform NFTs Remain Linked to the Original Creator

Meanwhile, since the NFT immutability debate last year, other methods of securing NFTs have come into play, like leveraging IPFS2Arweave.com which utilizes a blockchain project called Arweave. According to the Cere Network team, NFT royalties minted using Davinci will be tethered to the content creators.

“Uniquely, each NFT created on Davinci’s platform will remain linked to the original creator through the use of smart contracts that guarantee a share of the royalties from any sale and establish a way for the continuous delivery of exclusive new content,” the Cere Network team’s announcement notes.

Sandeep Nailwal, the co-founder of Polygon believes the NFT ecosystem is just getting warmed up, and Nailwal thinks the Polygon and DDC-crafted Davinci Web3 application will enhance the industry’s growth.

“There is so much more that artists and fans are able to accomplish and access through Davinci that realizes more of the blockchain potential to the mainstream consumers,” Nailwal remarked. Artists, performers, and brands get more revenue from their unique content, while fans get better experiences and secure delivery of their assets.”

Tags in this story

Arweave, Blockchain, Blockchain security, Cere, Cere Network, Cere Network Polygon, Davinci, Fred Jin, Immutability, IPFS2Arweave.com, nft, NFT Assets, NFT immutability, nft platform, NFT Tech, NFTs, Non-fungible Token, Polygon, Polygon (MATIC), Polygon Network, Sandeep Nailwal, securing via blockchain, Web3 platform

What do you think about the Cere Network and Polygon-powered NFT and Web3 platform Davinci? Let us know what you think about this subject in the comments section below.

Jamie Redman

Jamie Redman is the News Lead at Bitcoin.com News and a financial tech journalist living in Florida. Redman has been an active member of the cryptocurrency community since 2011. He has a passion for Bitcoin, open-source code, and decentralized applications. Since September 2015, Redman has written more than 5,000 articles for Bitcoin.com News about the disruptive protocols emerging today.

Image Credits: Shutterstock, Pixabay, Wiki Commons

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The Unpopular Opinion Book Questionaire

Before I start, credit where credit is due: I copied the questions and format of this post from @resist-the-fear’s post and this wordpress post, because I couldn’t figure out how to add my answers into the original post without messing up all formatting. And I’m really sorry if this upsets anybody, but the idea is cool and it’d be a shame not to continue it on tumblr.

So, here we go...

1. A Popular Book or series that you didn’t like.

1) Feels like the Twilight Saga would be the obvious answer (and it IS), but I’m gonna go for pretty much all of Dan Bown’s novels and I’m gonna explain my dislike with The DaVinci Code

This novel actually angered me so much that I wrote my master’s thesis on how Brown deliberately mislead the majority of his readers into mistaking his fiction for actual facts in order to sell more books.

The gist is, any and all art historic descriptions and information given within the book are fully fictional. That includes a page of “facts” (labeled as such) preceding the novel itself (which doesn’t contain any actual facts at all) and a note underneath stating that all descriptions of paitings were accurate. Spoiler alert: They’re not. I majored art history in school and did a lot of research, but, honestly, anybody who’s interested in art history and knows the very very basics about the renaissance and other time periods can easily disprove all of the novel’s supposedly accurate art descriptions.

And, to be truthful, I have to admit that Brown is really fucking good at fiction. He’s also really good at writing his fiction around and over existing art historic knowledge and twisting it without making it too obvious for careless readers. That’s kinda cool. And I get that disguising fiction as fact isn’t a new trend. I mean... Defoe did when he falsely claimed that Robinson Cruseo was a factual report of a true event, because the readership of his time period wasn’t familiar with adventure fiction. But what really annoyed me was 1) how many readers actually believed Brown to have uncovered some genuine conspiracy and 2) that Brown kept feeding into the delusion of those fans again and again through comments in interviews and webpages, even though he fully knew it’s all fiction, because he himself made it up.

  2) And then there’s the Wanderhure series, written by a German writing couple under the pseudonym Iny Lorentz. I’m not sure if this has been translated into English, but it’s been highly popular in Germany and several other countries (won some awards and was made into a series of TV movies and whatnot). It is, quite honestly THE WORST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

The first novel was recommended to me by relatives because parts of it take place in a city that I have lived in for quite some time, and it’s a historical fiction based on a medieval poem. The premiss of the novel is great: during the middle ages, a young and respected girl gets accused to have sinned by some townspeople and nobody believes her to be innocent, as she is just a girl. She gets cast out of her city and home, left with no other choice than to become a traveling whore if she wants to survive. She ends up becoming quite successful in her profession (in the sense that she has many high ranking clients from both church and state who pay her with lots of money and other favors) and returns to the city that cast her out long ago to have a huge effect on politics and religion.

The story was quite intriguing to me, both due to the interesting plotline as well as the reference to the city I live in. HOWEVER, it is horribly written. All characters, especially the protagonist, are unbelievably flat. There is no character development whatsoever, even though the story offers plenty of chances to find it. I read through the book because of the locations... houses that actually still exist, that I have been in, Gateways that i’ve walked through, roads that I’ve travelled on. Those are very well described. It’s easy to figure out each and every step the characters take on a map and that’s really cool. But the plotline was destroyed by less than mediocre characterization and simple, unimpressive language. Every time a character is supposed to feel something, the sentence literally goes, “She felt xyz” - and that’s as descriptive as it gets. There’s no atmosphere created and not an ounce of fluidity in the sentence structure. The whole narration is as dry as brick and the story reads like a two dimensional still drawing of a 3D rollercoaster ride.

2. A Popular Book or series that every one else seems to hate but you love.

I honestly don’t think that there’s any book series that EVERYBODY hates. And I do think that all the books I love, are actually pretty popular. Buuuuut...

I’ve seen the Mortal Instruments series getting a lot of hate on tumblr. And I fully understand why Cassandra Clare isn’t everybody’s favorite author. I don’t like her methods and procedure at all either. But, I have to say that I do like the basic plotline of the Mortal Instruments. I’ve only read the first three novels, and I have no clue what happens afterwards. And there’s a lot to be criticized, be it Clare “copying” existing dialogues, or some really flat and ... well, just plain naive characters. BUT the plot itself is cool. So, I felt positively entertained and liked it. Love would be a bit of a strong term, though, I think.

3. A Love Triangle where the main character ended up with the person you did NOT want them to end up with (warn ppl for spoilers) OR an OTP that you don’t like.

Not giving any spoilers, but the Demon’s Lexicon Trilogy. I really, really disliked the reveal of an actual pairing in the third novel. It didn’t make sense to me, and I wasn’t reading for romance to begin with. It kind of cheapened the story because the love interest side story suddenly got A LOT of attention that it didn’t before and that shifted the focal point of the overall plotline. (Loved the first book, really liked the second, couldn’t care less for the third, tbh)

4. A popular book Genre that you hardly reach for.

It’s either crime fiction or esoteric non-fiction.

I’m actually into a lot of different genres: almost all types of fiction (YA, dystopian, sci-fi, political, thriller, mystery, adventure, horror, fantasy etc.), also children’s books, travel books, hobby and craft books, satires, other humorous books, biographies/autobiographies, educational books, historical books both fiction and non-fiction...

Doesn’t matter, but crime fiction (as long as it doesn’t contain anything else) is just so boring to me. Also, it feels to me as if most crime fiction heroes solve those crimes with A LOT more lucky coincidences than I would hope actual crime fighters depend on.

And esoteric books are just completely outside my personal interests. Either the stuff described in those books feels like fiction to me while being sold as non-fiction, or it’s stuff that I feel should not be aquired through books but personal encounters and explorations.

5. A popular or beloved character that you do not like.

Definitely Clary Fray from the Mortal Instruments. Man, she is soooooo slow on the uptake and so naive in so many ways. And she’s also kind of a horrible Mary Sue, not just because of her name... (I mean, really? Clary, Ms Clare? 😔) But also because of how she is so awesomely good at everything and how she always thinks of the perfect solutions for everything when nobody else does. Kinda... very little room for character development. But, then again, who needs that, right?

6. A popular author that you can’t seem to get into.

Aside from Dan Brown? Here’s my unholy trinity...

1) Stephenie Meyer (yeah, the Twilight one) - I was actually sent an e-book copy of Twilight right before it became such a huge success. I started reading it, because my friend recommended it and praised it so highly. But, I couldn’t make it past a couple dozen pages. The writing style is just so bad, I couldn’t continue. The characters were so flat, I lost any and all interest in what was going to happen. And the story wasn’t all that intriguing either, especially because it was loaded with antiquated world views, especially Bella’s character and what was deemed right for her to do was just... WOW, it was just so unbelievably bad, lol. I was so surprised that it actually ended up being successful.

2) E.L.James (the 50 Shades one) - For years, I genuinely believed that it was impossible to write worse than Meyer. Boy, was I wrong. I tried several times to read more than ten pages of 50 Shades of Grey, and I failed every single time. It’s not just a bad story, I’ve seen children’s books for toddlers that have a more interesting sentence structure than what she comes up with for an adult audience. Her language is so dull and non-descriptive that even the supposedly racy sexy bits read like a phone book to me. Honestly, I DON’T GET WHY anybody ever had any interest in this book series. The language is unspeakably poor, the plot takes all the wrong turns it could possibly take, the “research” done before writing the book... I don’t even know where that load of complete misinformation could possibly come from.

3) Iny Lorentz (the writing couple I mentioned above: Elmar Wohlrath and Iny Klocke) - Just bad, bad, bad writing. No concept of character development, fiction asthetically written like non-fiction, no use of language to create atmosphere or convey emotions. They write neutral snoozefests. And... I can’t bring myself to write any more on them.

7. A popular book trope that you’re tired of seeing. (examples “lost princess”, corrupt ruler, love triangles, etc.)

Mary Sues and Gary Stues. But Love Triangles are a very hot contender.

8. A popular series that you have no interest in reading.

All the different Shades, lol.

9. The saying goes “The book is always better than the movie”, but what movie or T.V. show adaptation do you prefer more than the book?

Definitely Stand By Me which is Stephen King’s The Body. That movie is about as great as that story could have possibly been when put onto the screen. The actors were so perfectly cast, the cinematography, costumes and set design really captured the time period, atmosphere and geography, and the facial expressions portrayed all the right emotions beautifully.

Also, I have to say, out of all of King’s movie adaptations, and while neither The Body nor Stand By Me are categorized as horror, the scene where you can see the dead boy’s face is one of the scariest, most horrific moments I can think of in a film ever. It gave me nightmares when I first saw it, and still, to this day, I have to close my eyes when that scene comes up. And the cool thing is, it’s not meant to be specifically horrifying, or gory or scary. But the simplicity of the sudden glimpse into dead eyes, to me, is scarier than any monster I could imagine and does King’s reputation more than justice.