#its a lets discourse about the shows kind of day let's go

[atopvisenyashill]

im so happy i dont sound crazy lol.

but ABSOLUTELY. I wholeheartedly think people who are mad about certain character choices are deeply mad that another version of f&b characters are following their headcanons AGAIN.

even more, I think people combine both book and show canon, create a whole new version and get mad that the writers are following that canon either. which makes it so hard for me to take some criticism seriously.

“the pacing is off and some things drag on.” very much so.

“some things can get repetitive.” absolutely.

“the showrunners aren’t following the characters they established (the ones living in my head), aren’t following their plots (that I fantasized going a different way) and are purposely making them worse (aemond would never burn aegon even though he talked about aegon not deserving that throne last season) because they are biased (they don’t like my side).” well, no. not really.

even more, I think people combine both book and show canon, create a whole new version and get mad that the writers are following that canon either. which makes it so hard for me to take some criticism seriously.

ya and like the thing is, i GET this, i think both the book and show have some good things in them and the best "version" is the one that combines both. but like - a story needs to be internally consistent lol, certainly a show can go a way you're not interested in and you drop it but that doesn't mean it's inherently going a "bad" way. if the story is consistent...it's fine lol? like, people really wanted the velaryons to be loudly and actively hostile to rhaenyra's branch and it's like well...but the point is that they're smarter than that, they have a clear vested interested in being loyal to rhaenyra, and, oh yeah, they are loyal to her in the books. i get that people wanted laena to hate rhaenyra for having bastards but well, that's not who laena is, and i don't think you (general you) are actually interested in who she is anymore than condal & hess are! you don't have to like every character but disliking a character doesn't always mean they're badly written! and certainly not having baela be out and out aggressive with rhaenyra isn't them "preferring the blacks" anymore than like, portraying alicent as a victim of the patriarchy is "preferring the greens."

like you said, i mean, aemond is gearing up towards a death where he stupidly goes head to head with his much more capable uncle because he's convinced himself he's an anime protagonist and the power of the faith and anime is on his side and gets got. he's not the jon snow, he's not the beric dondarrion, he's not the robb stark, he is victarian, jorah, joffrey, someone who is in over his head and doesn't realize it because he's too busy giving into every violent impulse that crosses his mind. it's fine if that type of character doesn't appeal to you but to say it's ~favoring the blacks~ because....the pathetic death that awaits him is being broadcasted for what it is, that's just goofy. it's not as if daemon is being portrayed any less pathetically, his own daughter and mother by law basically call him a little bitch right to the camera and he's on strike TWO for domestic violence incidents with rhaenyra like. can we be fr!

[barblaz-arts]

I know you've been making a lot of art of it lately, but out of curiosity, what's your opinion on Hazbin Hotel in general? I'm referring to both the show and the fandom here. Just curious.

God. What a loaded question. Are you ready? Bcuz I'm fresh from Vaggie discourse on twitter and I have a lot to say.

I think that Hazbin Hotel seems worse than it is for people who know the fandom but haven't actually watched the show. Honestly, I think it's a fine show. It isnt super incredible and I'm not gonna sing praises about how deep and thought provoking it is or whether it's an artistic masterpiece. It never tried to be that and was never advertised as such(to my knowledge) anyway. I just had a lot of fun. Like, yeh sure the cussing in the dialogue can be a bit much, especially in ep 1, but there are different writers in other episodes, so it gets better. It can be super crude yeh, but I grew up watching things like the Scary Movie franchise and other dumb american movies (yes, i was too young for them. yes, i still watched them), so it's pretty tolerable for me. It also helps that Charlie is the main character. That's one of the main reasons why I watch HH but dont watch HB. It's probably a fun show, but without a sweetheart like Charlie to balance things out, I'd just get tired of the sex jokes and mean jokes.

Compared to my last hyperfixation, I think I have more things to love about Hazbin Hotel, believe it or not. With Netflix's Wednesday, I had already been an Addams Family fan for a while and hung on because I loved the family and eventually Enid and wenclair. The show itself was honestly meh... so far! I'll give season 2 another shot.

But with Hazbin Hotel, it catered to a lot of things I've always loved. Found family with a bunch of misfits? We didnt get to see it much bcuz of the fuckass 8-ep per season format we have nowadays, but its fine its there! The juxtaposition of a kind hearted woman in a harsh world? Love love Charlie for that, I watched the show in the first place because of her. A canon lesbian lover with a "fuck the world cuz my world is you" type of love for the protag? Fuck yes. How very Pearl-from-Steven-Universe of Vaggie. And the music? The music is soooo good. I didn't know the songwriter prior to watching, so I was nervous about the songs, but I knew most of the theater actors they cast(still cant believe Jeremy fucking Jordan is Lucifer) so I figured even if the songs are mid, at least the performances would be topnotch. And they were! But the songs were a pleasant surprise. Sam Haft did real damn well. I still listen to the soundtrack to this day.

The fandom, however, is probably the worst one I've been in. And I've been in a lot in my big age... Just... lacking media literacy, and based on the replies I get when I say something on twitter, it seems a lot of them lack reading comprehension and just plain emotional intelligence too.

There's a lot of criticisms about this show that I honestly think is fair. Pacing, character design, overuse of the F word, whatever. But in my opinion, claiming that Hazbin is a male-centered show is an unfair misconception that is mostly the fault of the fandom.

Bcuz, sure, the male characters are uber popular. Alastor, Vox, Lucifer, Angel Dust and the many web of ships they're involved in went trending every few business days. But come on now. How often does a fandom even have their main protag as the most talked about character? This has been going on for ages. Just because the boys have the most merch and fics and fanarts and thirsty fans doesn't mean that they had the spotlight for most of the show itself. It only meant that they were the ones the viewers paid attention to, in a fandom filled with people drooling over the next tumblr sexyman and toxic yaoi ship of the month.

But if you actually look back at what the show gave us so far, the boys didnt outshine the women. I actually think the women got to do more and be more as characters than the men did. Let's take a look at the male characters.

Alastor was not in all the episodes. In fact, he was MIA in two out of the eight episodes. In all the episodes he was in, he was a mere side character. His purpose in season one was to stir the pot and be the intriguing mystery that occasionally quips. But he was not the one whose deeper thoughts were explored and whose character and goals was challenged THROUGHOUT the show, merely alluded to at the VERY END of the season, which is hardly him taking the spotlight away from Charlie. If you merely looked at the fan content of him, you'd think he were a father figure to Charlie(or a love interest. whatever) and that he has developed a soft spot for the Hazbins deep down in that cannibal heart of his. But if you pay attention to the show, he never had even a meaningful one on one conversation with the Hazbins. The only time that happened is when (a)he threatened Husk's life (b)when he constantly mocked Charlie while she was down in the dumps and used this as an opportunity to manipulate her and (b)when he told Niffty watching the crew sure can "make one sentimental", even tho he had taken no prior opportunity to bond with them! There's no foundation for all the fandom's claims that he could be redeemed bcuz of a budding fondness for the group, but that's all you see of his fan content(aside from the horniness). I dont have any problem with his lack of an actual relationship with the Hazbins bcuz I believe redemption for him is not what the show is going for, but it's frustrating to see people interpreting it that way BUT not seeing how horridly developed it would be if that is the case, meanwhile they turn around and say that Vaggie and Chaggie as a ship "had terrible development".

Then we have the male Vees. Vox was only ever in episode two, and was essentially a youtube reactor in episode 8. He was in ep 4 but had no speaking lines. We only know of his obsession with Alastor and the toxic relationship he has with Val. Val, meanwhile, is merely shown as the sex obsessed fiend behind Hell's sex industry and Angel's abuse. They did what they needed to do with minimal screentime. It was fine, but that's IT. Despite what little CANON gave so far, you have hundreds of people writing essays and fics and fanarts about them being complicated characters. But to reiterate, this does not mean that they are bad characters or that they don't deserve the fame. But to say that these men are better written within canon than the women is such a bold statement when most of the depth they knew of these characters were lore drops given before the show and their own speculations as they dug into the shallow soil of what the show has so far.

I'm not gonna speak about Angel and Lucifer. Because I think they were characters who were legitimately well-explored so far.

Now onto the women. So many of them were given the opportunity to have their characters challenged or given the agency to push characters and the plot forward or give you intrigue about implications of what's to come for the characters and the plot. I've talked a lot about Charlie and Vaggie. So let me talk about the other, terribly underrated women of Hazbin.

Velvette and Carmilla were the ones who advanced the subplot in the war against Heaven. Because of Carmilla's love for her family despite being a demon, an angel was killed. It gave Heaven the excuse to escalate things, but it also gave Charlie hope later on in the season that they're not powerless. Carmilla was also the first demon shown to make selfless actions that is contrary to what is expected of demons, making it proof that Charlie's belief that demons deserve a second chance isn't unwarranted. She's an interesting character, as an overlord who hangs on to power but clearly has morals. But how often do you see people writing essays about her? Eating up the fact that she's a powerful overlord but would sacrifice anything for her daughters? If Carmilla were a man, hundreds of girlies would be drooling over the crime boss who has a soft spot for his daughters.

Meanwhile, Velvette got to demonstrate why exactly she's an Overlord despite being the youngest demon in there. She's calculating and observant. She gives off a haughty vibe and constantly boasts about how she's young and fresh, but she isn't naive. During that meeting, she paid attention to Carmilla and Zestial's relationship. In order to find out who killed the angel, she riled everyone up, and when she got the feeling it was Carmilla, she mocked Zestial so that Carmilla could slip up. By playing these Overlords who are older and more experienced than her, Velvette showed what exactly her asset was to the Vees and why she's a threat, something that Vox and Val have yet to be given the opportunity to do when they were busy eye-fucking Alastor and literally fucking Angel. But in fan content about the Vees, Velvette is almost treated as an after thought to the boys...

Then we have the Seraphs. Not only were their designs gorgeous, their dynamic and presence as characters had impact to the plot and main characters.

Emily is a much needed character to show that this story isn't meant to tell you that Heaven = bad; Hell = good. There is good and bad in both, and it is so important for the protags to know that they have an ally in Emily who represents the true virtues that heaven is supposed to uphold. And I love the confrontation she had with Sera when her own view of what's right and good was challenged. We got to see the strength of her character and started the seeds of what could be heaven's acceptance of Charlie's goals.

Sera is such an interesting character to me. She was also important to show that not all angels were sadistic like Adam and Lute, but not in the same way Emily was. I have no idea so far which direction this show would go with her. But I'm intrigued by the fact that she seems to be driven by fear, unlike Adam and Lute's cruelty. She knew Lucifer and was there when he was cast out for his disobedience. Whether everything she's doing is to prevent that from happening again remains to be seen, and I'm looking forward to this kind of subplot for her.

And then Rosie! I really really look forward to seeing more from her. Spoilers aside, something I barely see people talk about is how interesting it is that Rosie is every bit the leader that Charlie hopes to be. Rosie is able to be a respected overlord in her own faction without needing to sacrifice her love for showmanship and music and her positive disposition. When we were officially introduced to her, they show how she seems to care about actually taking care of her people, not JUST ordering them around, by talking to them personally and giving advice. That's exactly what Charlie wanted to do for her people, isn't it? The hotel to Charlie was what the emporium was to Rosie. They have a lot of similarities that could set up for Rosie to be the one to teach Charlie in becoming a leader. Now whether that's a good thing or a bad thing remains to be seen, but it is rather compelling.

So yeah! With all that said, I really dont think this show ignores its women at all. Just because a bigger part of the fandom gravitated towards the men doesn't necessarily mean its a misogynistic show so far. But if certain people are claiming that the women are badly written, then I hope they also own up to the fact that their blorbos are just as shallowly presented within the show, maybe even more so. Which wouldn't even be a bad thing! Since when did a show or character have to be amazingly written for a person to like them? That's just no fun at all. All I'm saying is... Fuck this fandom's double standards, hiding behind claims that it's the writing's fault when the problem is they couldn't be bothered to think about the women.

[ellieluvr420]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

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𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒

We Meet Again, Darling

SYNOPSIS: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

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Epilogue

Friends? Never

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

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Eye for an Eye

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

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𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

Abby

Change They had her, the love of your life, they had her and they were going to die for it.

Guardian Angel A guardian angel getting wrapped up with the human she was supposed to be protecting, a double-edged sword bound to hurt. The memory of you, your calming presence in a time where everything was hanging in the balance haunted her. All she craved was to see you again. She was addicted, obsessed. She needed you in every way but you only appeared in her mind, you were never part of reality. You were her saviour, the blood running through her veins, all she wanted was you, that was all she would ever want.

Ellie

You're mine It was silent, neither of you moved or spoke, your eyes were fixed on each other, neither of you daring to look away. Your eyes were glassy and bloodshot and hers were cold and dark, your nose was sore and running as you sniffled holding the tears in your eyes that were begging to be let free. You didn't understand how a girl that shows you as much love as she does could hurt you so bad.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Abby

Wife Abby

[nabi-unveiled]

Sticking the Landing is Hard

It's no secret that I adore When It Rains, It Pours. I have written an immense amount about the symbols, characters, parallels, and interpretations of this show. I've taken a deep dive into almost every aspect of the show possible. The characters and narrative resonate DEEPLY for me. The fandom experience has been AMAZING.

At its core, it IS a show that has multiple interpretations. Many people will not like that aspect of it. I love it. I enjoy shows that make me think, that send me on symbol treasure hunts and prompt deep dives. But more importantly, I felt like a lot of its messages were true to real life. Did they ever like me? Did I actually like them? Why did I do that? Why did I stay? Why did I not say anything? When is a relationship over? These are all questions I have asked myself.

I think it's fine that I don't fully understand what each character is thinking. I've been with my husband for almost 20 years, and I still couldn't tell you even a majority of the time what he's thinking. Not with 100% confidence. So it doesn't bother me that we debate over whether Kaori really liked Hagiwara or not. There's a lot of ambiguity in life. Real life is messy, and people are complex and messy. It's tragically beautiful that way.

That said - sticking the landing is hard. In general, I dislike finales. NOT because the show is coming to an end like people inevitably lament on finale day. I started watching Asian series precisely because they DO end. But finale episodes tend to commit a lot of crimes. Pacing issues. Last minute plot arcs. Time skips. No plot at all. Unearned redemption. There's a LOT of ways that a finale can go wrong. Most of the time, a finale episode commits multiple crimes.

So if you absolutely adore When It Rains and only want to read positive vibes or do a deep dive on symbols/parallels, then let me direct you to this post here. That's where I talk about all of the things the finale got right. My finale wish list fared pretty well after all. There was a lot of good and quite a few unexpected treasures.

But that's not this post. Because even if you adore a show, you can have criticisms. I hold out hope, but I've yet to find a perfect show. If you're willing to entertain that kind of discourse, it's below the cut.

Since you've decided to keep reading, I'm going to assume you can handle me being straightforward. With criticism, I tend to be blunt. And just like I obsess over all of the positive details, I can nitpick with the best of them. It's a double-edged sword.

Now just because I notice something, doesn't mean it becomes a criticism. It depends on the show. For example, I noticed that Fadel/Bison never worried about fingerprints during their "murder" of Lilly. Do I care? NO! It's The Heart Killers. That's actually on brand.

In When It Rains, I expect things to be nuanced, layered, and realistic. That's the vibe it has carried thus far. It has been permeated with symbolism, parallels and callbacks. That's what I expect of it. The cheating will never bother me. People DO cheat. That's the story this tells. Even incredibly good people do things that are not "good" at times. I cast no stones.

And make no mistake - I'm INCREDIBLY happy that Sei/Hagiwara got their happy ending. But.....there were stumbles, a few missteps, and an outright (unforgivable) crime in the finale.

I'll start with the smallest criticisms and work my way up.

The Stumbles

Stumbles are what I call the small things that don't matter to most people but irk me. They can impact the narrative, but most of the time they don't.

Stumble #1 - Inaccurate Meteorology

Low air pressure would be a result of WARMER temperatures. Would it matter in most shows? Nope. The science nerd in me would be annoyed, but I'd move on. I'd treat it with the same nonchalance as Kant/Bison's magic tattoos. However, this show uses weather for symbolism. These details become more important. Plus, cold rain? Why are we getting cold rain now? Symbolically, it doesn't make sense. I can only hope it's a translation issue.

Stumble #2 - Forcing the Final Kiss

The show demanded a kiss in the rain. We got it. Yay! I'm glad we did. BUT...it felt forced. Like someone saying "You've gotta kiss now. the credits are almost done!" While there are a few narrative missteps that contributed, most of this feeling comes from the blocking.

The umbrella should've been used to pull Sei closer to kiss (like a tie), and THEN set aside while kissing. Symbolically, the umbrella HAD to go to the side. We needed them fully in the rain. But the way the umbrella was moved in this scene, made the movement of the umbrella feel contrived. For a show that's felt very real, it felt scripted. Therefore I enjoyed the scene a whole lot less than I would've otherwise. The smiles afterwards were still adorable. The ending shot is beautiful. The kiss in episode 5 is better. Feel free to disagree.

Stumble #3 - The Asylum Phone Case

If you want your symbols to mean something, you have to be consistent. There's meaning behind this painting. Basically, it represents being trapped. I didn't even have to bring it up, because so many other people did. If Sei has moved on and is no longer trapped, then the case should've changed. The phone was broke anyways. No need to keep it.

The Missteps

Missteps are my next level of criticism. These are the things that don't ruin a show, but they do hurt it. Finale episodes are notorious for missteps. Pacing and plot arc issues are most common.

Misstep #1 - Hagiwara deleting Sei's contact information

This action is supposed to parallel Sei deleting the rain app. However, it made sense that Sei deleted the rain app. He no longer needs the "fake rain". He's moving on to where he can hear the real rain. It's part of healing for him. It makes NO sense for Hagiwara to delete Sei's contact information. In fact, that's actually OUT of character for him.

I'm not surprised that he didn't contact Sei directly. I've pointed out before that Hagiwara is a mirror. He reflects what the other person wants, and we know he has a high level of respect for personal boundaries. However, Hagiwara waited patiently for a YEAR when his girlfriend wouldn't have sex with him. He KNOWS Sei has just went through something traumatic and is dealing with A LOT.

He couldn't wait a month before deleting him? At MOST, we're talking 1.5 months between when they had sex and reuniting at the museum. Most likely we're actually talking less than a month. Hagiwara would not have moved on that fast. He is not that complacent with Sei. I refuse to believe it. He's better than that (when he's with Sei).

Misstep #2 - The co-worker emailing Sei

The way this show does parallels and callbacks, Sei was required to be nominated to host the party.

After all, they told us that would happen in episode 2.

But notice what else they said there? That Sei would rely on Hagiwara when the time came. There was actually no good reason for the coworker to e-mail Sei after she left the room. It's unlikely behavior. Sei had already thought about reaching out to Hagiwara.

Party planning would have given him the excuse he needed to do it. Him sending an e-mail to Hagiwara would have shown more initiative and added just one more example that Sei actually did miss and want to be with Hagiwara. It would have also completed the parallel (since Hagiwara initiated e-mail the first time). He still could've received an automated response that Hagiwara was on leave and made a connection to the date of the museum closing. It's a missed opportunity to indicate the depth of Sei's feelings.

Misstep #3 - Pacing. Many people will take issue with the fact that our leads are only together the last few minutes. That doesn't bother me at all. I cut my teeth on BBC period pieces where you were lucky to get a three second handhold at the end of a six hour series. We saw all of the things that Sei & Hagiwara want to do with each other, and I know they'll continue their life afterwards.

However, there WAS a pacing issue. Notably, the whole encounter with Fujisawa and Sei took too long. That time would've been better spent showing more about Hagiwara adjusting to single life, Sei dealing with his trauma, them DRINKING COFFEE and/or them missing each other in general. I could think of a lot of things that would've better served than that long-ass conversation. Resolution needed to happen, but it shouldn't have taken 8.5 MINUTES of a 24 minute episode. For those curious, the resolution with Kaori took 6.5 minutes.

Misstep #4 - Sei is healed! The magic trauma wand got waved. This one would typically be a crime for me. It's a very common crime in dramaland. But there is wiggle room for some interpretation here. The biggest problem is time. Trauma takes TIME to heal, and we've had about a month.

Sei was still spiraling when washing his hands just a few episodes ago. He still refused to take transportation. But apparently, not only did the SA not causes issues, Sei's other issues are mostly gone.

Sei can now take whatever transportation necessary to make the long commute to Fujisawa's studio. Sei now makes insightful statements about how it can't be anyone's fault.

I had truly wanted Sei to make progress in healing. I'm glad he's wearing color. I'm glad he forgot the perfume. I'm glad he's reaching out to former friends. He still doesn't have LINE (maybe that WAS personal preference?). But we didn't get to see any of the things that helped him cope with the aftermath. A shot of Sei going into a therapists' office or trying to work up the nerve to get in a vehicle would've done wonders. Trauma has to be WORKED on. It doesn't magically disappear. Plus, the SA would have ADDED to the trauma.

The only reason this didn't land as an outright crime is because we don't know that he DIDN'T do those things either. We also don't REALLY know how far along he was in his healing process about his parents' death. We know he had made significant process over the years so it's possible that his trauma wasn't still as present as some earlier episodes implied (which would make those scenes a misstep).

THE CRIME: Character Assassination

Fujisawa's character now makes no sense. It's not that his character could be interpreted multiple ways. It's that it CAN'T be interpreted, because it's inconsistent.

I've went on a journey with Fujisawa's character. Back in episode 3 when I first started posting about this show, I delighted in the fact that there were no "bad guys". The show seemed to be about conflicting priorities which was a delightfully fresh take.

After multiple rewatches and episode 4, I had decided that I had missed the plot. Fujisawa WAS a bad news bear. No problem. We now had one story about mismatched priorities and one about manipulation/control. Still important stories to tell.

Then came episode 6. I haven't read the novel, but I know what happened there. Doesn't matter to me. I base my analysis strictly on the show. I knew people interpreted the SA/dubcon scene different ways. I had even received an inquiry about whether I thought Fujisawa had raped Sei. I had prepared a (long) answer. I was 100% confident that Fujisawa HAD raped Sei. I went through all of the pacing, the blocking, the parallels, etc. comparing the scene to the fantasy scene in episode 1 and the sex scene with Hagiwara. There are a LOT of parallels. Add in several points of both Fujisawa's and Sei's dialogue, and I had NO DOUBT that it was rape.

However, I decided to hold off just in case there would be additional evidence in episode 7. We hadn't had resolution after all. We knew Sei would confront Fujisawa. And NOW? I can't post it. Going STRICTLY by what the show presented, I can no longer be 100% confident.

To be clear, I actually have NO issue with Sei's response to Fujisawa. Adding in the new information that they had been best friends since they were KIDS clarified a lot of Sei's dependence on him.

Sei had put up with and excused Fujisawa's behavior for SO LONG, that it actually makes sense he would find a way to excuse and forgive Fujisawa again. In some ways, he needed to do that for himself. As an audience, we may not like it. But it's realistic. People forgive and overlook the actions of their abusers all the time.

I also have no problem with the "reveal" that Fujisawa had always liked Sei in a sexual way. The show had already told us it was coming.

Even the symbols told us that Fujisawa was actually more sexually responsive than Kaori. He didn't eat the yogurt. He drank coffee.

Fujisawa's feelings of guilt track. It's not my culture, but I've watched Asian media for over 20 years. Being involved in ANY way with the death of parent(s) ALWAYS causes complications. And note - Sei didn't say that it wouldn't have mattered. He said that Fujisawa could have kept quiet and just let them live happily.

Now, I'm great with messy, complicated characters. But messy (i.e. layered/complex) and inconsistent are different things. Here's the problem. Fujisawa gracefully bowing out and letting Sei live on his own? That's inconsistent with what we've been taught about him. Codependency, a moment of rage resulting in a terrible event, and regret over his actions resulting in them parting ways? This resolution WOULD'VE worked with my initial impression of Fujisawa. It would've made for a complex, messy, and realistic character if we had stuck with the initial characterization. Even the guilt would've worked.

However, this resolution DOESN'T work with everything we've been shown in the last few episodes. Fujisawa has been depicted as someone carefully cutting Sei off from his friends, as someone who controlled almost every aspect of Sei's life from what he wore to what he ate to where he went. "Letting go" doesn't match the person who was going to whisk Sei away to the countryside for daring to talk with another man. That type of behavior? It doesn't go away even if the person regrets their actions. If that's Fujisawa, then the show basically gave up realism to tie up the ending with a pretty bow. "We need you to go away now so that the leads can be happy."

So...we have two versions of Fujisawa. One where Fujisawa/Sei were equally codependent in a relationship that worked for neither. And one where Fujisawa was a controlling abuser. The evidence conflicts. I've frequently said in this show that things "could be both" and that "both interpretations worked". However, these two versions ARE mutually exclusive. He can't be both. So either the crime was in the finale or....there were missteps all along the way.

[multishipper001]

I don't see much discourse about Study Group, although it's an absolute masterpiece, so let's put some content out here!

1.) The characters

Oh my babies. Hats off to the author, because he really can make a diverse set of people! Each character has a fleshed out backstory, defined goals and ideals (that are shown to clash with others, be it enemies or allies).

They're all very-human like in some way, with just enough cliché to make it enjoyable but not predictable.

(spoiler for chapter 252-253: I didn't know what choices Gamin and especially Geonyeob would make until the very last moment. Geonyeob had two choices ahead of him, and it heavily determined his future and showed a glimpse of what kind of person he is, how far he's willing to go for revenge... It surprised me, but boy was it an interesting chapter!)

You can't help but root for each and every one of them, prepare to get emotionally attached to them all!!

2.) The plot

This part deserves its own category.

The synopsis tells the base of the story. A high school boy that forms a study group, with the goal to enter university.

Easy, right? Simple goal, one that can be achieved if you study hard, right?

THINK AGAIN

First of all, and this is not a spoiler, our mc SUCKS ASS at studying. Like I'm not the best at studying either but he's on a whole new level. He puts time into it, is dedicated, tries his hardest... And still can't.

(I read theories that he may have a disability that affects his studying, like dyslexia or something, and it's very much possible!)

He's in an environment where people don't expect him to study since he's bad anyway, and actively try and sabotage his every attempt to get better grades & enter uni.

(Sounds cliche and weird but it makes sense if you learn about the plot later)

Every new character comes into the plot because of the study group he forms —directly or not directly, but they get in contact with the study group in a way later on.

And you know what's good about it?

The main character DOESN'T CHANGE.

He's not going "I'm powerful and cool now, so I'll choose the easy way out/focus on fighting instead/aim lower/etc," NO.

He's had a goal since day 1, and he's clinging to it like a fucking LIFE LINE.

There are arcs ofc, but the main goal is set, and the characters are slowly marching forward, doing their best to reach it.

3.) Realism

One more great thing? NO CLICHÉS

I'm taking about the story here.

There's NO "the power of friendship saves the day", no "the evil villain gets defeated simply because he's the evil villain", no "mc gets what he wants easily because he's the main character".

(and no "every girl falls for mc and he builds a harem around himself bc he's the mc". There's barely any romance in it, and it's not forced or unrealistic)

There are forces in front of the main character which affect his story, yet he cannot fight them because he's still a child, or a student, or a part of a system that is made to oppress him. Corruption, manipulation, crimes... It's realistic in the best way, with no easy way out.

There are highs and lows for our characters, and for a few moments, after a cool fight where they won, you might fall into the mistake of thinking about this story like any other : "oh, they're going to win after all! They're the main characters, they'll make it! "

... Just for the issues of the plot to slap the naive thought out of your head not even a chapter later.

Corruption is rooted deep, and this story portrays it beautifully : how getting rid of one, two or several causes won't make it all disappear.

To what extent people can be controlled by money and power.

How the powerful uses the weak, how the wealthy use those below them for their own benefit.

How adults would rather destroy children's futures and lives just to squeeze a few penny out of them and get rich from their misery.

The main character is idealistic in a corrupted world, refusing to give up on what he thinks is right —where most people around him choose the easy way out and give up their beliefs, their present and future for quick cash, for promises of wealth and power.

He is their mirror, their proof that you can stay true to yourself and fight through your misery, even if it's hard, even if it seems absolutely hopeless.

There are many arcs, and each show different approaches to this, but this is the core essence of the story. That you can choose the easy road, but you don't have to. You can fight for your goals even if everyone says you'll fail.

And so many people can't see past the fight scenes and the "action manhwa" tag, thinking that if the story doesn't show them some peak badass mc-gets-what-he-wants-through-fighting moment, the whole thing is trash.

Yes, this is an action manhwa, with fights. But it isn't about fighting.

And lastly, honorable mentions to this gem:

4.) Portrayal of stereotypes

Best parts coming up!!

As usual, every story has stereotypes portrayed in them.

How men are stronger than women, how gangsters act or rich kids behave. How bullies and nerds interact.

They don't gloss over these stereotypes.

Women are physically smaller and weaker. Rich kids are assholes, bullies are cruel and victims are weak.

They don't make them magically gain courage, change their behaviour overnight OR make these things seem cool.

They make changes.

Step by step, they are influenced by each other (not just the mc, but other characters as well: they exist even when the mc isn't present). They're weak, and powerless, but they learn to be brave. They find a way to fight : maybe they don't become martial artists overnight, but each one of them develops their own method to survive in their fucked up life.

If they need to study better, they ask their friends and teacher for help. If they need to fight, they do so for the sake of protecting themselves and what is important to them : family, friends, a cause.

None of them are made as a gear to move the plot forward, they're their own characters. And they have clichés. They have stereotypical behaviours, and maybe even look stereotypical. But even so, they're not making it their only personality trait : they're complex, and flawed, and make mistakes.

And it's beautiful.

Oh god I love this story dearly.

[louisjude]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[cobbbvanth]

the culture impact of glee, for the uninitiated

okay YEAH I'm starting glee discourse in the year of our lord 2024 due to recent events on the gay firefighter show. so for those who don't understand why josh's speech on 911 this week was so important, here's a brief run down of the impact glee had on queer history.

glee, also created by ryan murphy, began airing in 2009 and ran for six seasons before ending in 2015. for all ryan murphy's crimes™, his contribution to queer representation in media has been incredibly influential especially in the early 2000s-2010s. at age nine, kurt hummel from glee and mitch and cam from modern family were the first queer characters I remember encountering. representation of any kind was still so hard to come by on television, let alone stories where queer characters got to have happy endings. in 2009, chris colfer (who played kurt on glee) was one of the youngest openly gay actors in hollywood, being just 19 years old when they started the show. throughout its run, glee introduced several additional queer characters and story lines that dealt with real issues queer people experienced such as being closeted, coming out, homophobia - external and internal.

only 33% of Americans supported same-sex marriage when glee started airing, and "even among millennials — Glee’s target audience — just 51% were in favour at the time."

the support for marriage equality jumped to a record high of 60% as glee was airing it's final episodes. same sex marriage was legalised in the usa in 2015, just months after the final episode of glee aired. a season six episode features a double wedding for a wlw couple and a mlm couple where a lesbian, a bisexual woman and two gay men get to experience a day of joy and celebration surrounded by friends and family, despite having to cross state lines to marry legally. and yes, as stated in the above quote from this article and the speech josh gave on 911 this week, glee had its fair share of problematic moments. plenty of stuff on that show (as is the case with many ryan murphy shows) is not what we'd class as "good representation" today. and it's not perfect yet either. biphobia is still prevalent in bisexual arcs, wlw representation is still far behind mlm representation, and it's hard to convince networks to go for anything that's not cis male queer rep. but it's important to show grace for the media that helped us get to the state of queer representation we do have now. shows like glee have been credited with changing the minds of many of the people who were initially against marriage equality, purely by exposing them to stories about lgbtq+ people and their experiences. and glee was HUGE. one of the biggest shows on television when it was airing - it brought in millions of viewers weekly, hundreds of glee covers climbed the charts, it won awards, the cast sold out national and international tours. we get to have characters like josh and hen and karen and buck and tommy BECAUSE OF shows like glee that came before. so yeah, it wasn't just ryan murphy worship on another ryan murphy show, the pre-glee/post-glee timeline was a "genuine unit of culture measurement" as @autisticjoshrusso put it here.

on a personal level: I watched glee every week as it aired from age 9 to 15. so much of the way that I am today (my sense of humour, my love for performing, my taste in music) is because of this show. I've seen it countless times, but didn't fully realise how much it meant to me as a piece of queer media until I was in my early 20s, so this is a topic I'm very passionate about. I owe ryan murphy my life and I also want to hit him with my car <3 anyway. stream teenage dream (glee cast version)

[azaharinflames]

One thing I've been noting in Fandom Discourse is that Tommy needs to learn about Buck, Tommy needs to know about the way that Buck is. But has BUCK actually learned about Tommy? He had a whole speech from Josh about why Tommy might be the way he is, he's silent, he takes things at face value because he had to do that while in the closet, but did Buck actually learn anything from it.

Tommy's not a huge action kind of person, you see by him silently letting tears slide down his cheeks while subtly holding himself during Bobby's death. He had to keep quiet, he had to hide his emotions. He wasn't allowed to have the same huge emotions that Buck allows himself. Based on how Tommy spoke of how Gerrard was like his father, I'm guessing that Tommy's father's favourite phrase growing up was probably "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" before proceeding to get punished for showing emotions. You ask how I know this? Because that was what my father would do. The number of times I was put over my own fathers knee and spanked because I was crying. Its a large number. To this day I have troubles showing emotions. Hell just watching the episode and the last scene I had maybe 2 tears escape. My throat was in pain from the unconscious stifling of my wanting to cry because I had showing emotions punished growing up. I'm sure many men have a very similar experience that is never talked about. Part of me feels that is what Tommy was feeling as well. He was feeling his emotions as best he could given the situation and his past. Bobby was Tommy's captain. Bobby was the one who helped Tommy come to terms with himself. Bobby was the captain who stayed and made the 118 a better place.

So why does everyone expect Tommy to be the one to learn? Buck hasn't learned much regarding Tommy so what makes it Tommy's job to learn about Buck? Relationships are two way streets.

To be fair, Nonnie, I did see a lot of takes that took this into consideration and that pointed out that we saw Tommy learning about Buck and caring for him very much, but not so much the other way. Which makes sense, as Buck is our main guy and they wanted to see that he, finally, had a partner that was putting him first and taking care of him, but. Point still stands. Granted, most of these takes were post-806, but they did exist.

I think that's mostly the reason the whole learning process has been that way. Because before, we've seen Buck caring so much about the other person, going out of his way to help them and fix their issues, and we never saw anything in return. It does seem like the writers realised this tendency (and issue) and tried to change it with Tommy. In a way, it very much was like they were selling him to us, like: look at this guy! He cares for Buck and he feeds him and listens to him and he supports him when no one else will! He'll come to the rescue, even!

I do agree we do need to see Buck learning more about Tommy, because if anything, 806 showed us he didn't fully do it before. And this can be explained by Tommy's closed-off nature, by his need of self-preservation, so strong it causes him to self-sabotage.

But I also think they are subtly learning things about each other (see my post about their realisation moments), and that, moving forward, we will see Buck learning more about Tommy.

For now, however, I firmly believe they just needed to sell the audience on Tommy. And so far, they're doing a good job.

[valevntine]

okay, this is going to be a long ass post about ai, and i'm not going to be kind about it. i think i always try to be, but as an artist there's nothing that pisses me off more.

i'm going to talk about this specifically from an artist's point of view because i'm not a writer, musician nor anything else. i'm also not going to dive into the environmental and ethical issues of it (that would need a whole another post), but here's a few interesting articles i liked, just in case you've been living under a rock: ai's environmental impact, celebrities' deepfakes, ethical issues regarding ai.

not too long ago i participated in a local art contest. there wasn't anything that explicitly stated if ai generated pieces could take part or not - if i knew for certain that they were allowed, i wouldn't have joined -, the prize was 300€. i think it goes without saying that a sum of money like that one could be helpful for anyone, let alone a beginner artist trying to get their name known. do you know who won? a “drawing” made out of ai - and an ugly one at that. after the organisers were met with the general dissatisfaction and protest from the public, the winner even had the courage to make fun of and belittle the work of all the other artists who entered the contest, affirming he was smart because he chose the "easy way out".

if you use ai, you're not an artist. you can't call yourself an artist. and if you are, you're shitting on the work of so many. you're being an insensitive, disrespectful prick. yes, you can have the idea. most of us probably have an actual great fucking idea for a masterpiece inside of us, but not having the skill for it and settling for ai to chase after the empty thrill of being able to say "hey, i made this!" doesn't make you a creative. you know what that makes you? a selfish piece of shit. you're so afraid of doing it badly that you'll settle for this instead. being an artist means having the skill to perpetually practice and create a piece of art, whether that's a painting, a drawing, a song, a sculpture, a piece of writing. you'll have the entitlement to create only when you'll take your time to hone and build a craft, to perfect your skill, to be vulnerable and create something and make the world see it even if you maybe don't even like it, if you're unsure about it. i promise that will be so much better and braver than clicking a few buttons, typing out a few words and ta-da! your image is created.

also, do we know how ai art is created? do we remember it steals from actual artists? generative ai takes our work, it learns from it, and it spits out its nonsense without us artists ever seeing anything in exchange for it - except for the damage it causes. us artists have years of experience on our backs. i have been drawing since i can remember, i have taken upon learning it seriously for 10 years now. i attended art school for four of those years, i spent an unimaginable amount of money on it (which is also a privilege many don't have), and every day i'm afraid for my future career. i'm devoting all my time on this because i can't see myself doing anything else.

if i catch any of you putting ai generated shit into the world - especially if you're part of a fandom, because that alone deserves a whole another discourse - you'll be on the receiving end of my whole, unadulterated rage. i will tear you down. i will shit on you and your work, because there is no excuse for it.

do it bad, do it messy, do it a thousand times over, but please, don't settle for ai because it's "easier". no art is ever bad or ugly, i promise, and you'll certainly be brave and deserving of praise even just for putting yourself out there.

to anyone who's not an artist: support us. please, i beg you, commission your artists, show us your love, share our work, make us feel validated because this is getting awfully tiring. our work is already subjected to enough criticism as it is - you have no idea how many fucking times i've heard my work being belittled, being told that what i'm doing is something easy - but with the rise of ai it has only gotten much worse.

in conclusion: your ai "art" is ugly. your dignity is little and repulsive.

[floatingshark]

This has been in my head for like weeks and it's what makes me struggle to actually finish arcane LMFAO. For context ive been mostly interacting with arcane stuff on tiktok and ive seen some stuff and opinions that doesn't sit well with me.

also on another note i havent fully finished arcane, i stopped at s2 ep6 so ep7 to 9 i have no prior knowledge apart from spoilers i got bc of arcane edits.

and on one last note, if you disagree or agree with me in this you're free to express it. just be civil. we can all be adults and we know how to understand so just mind your words bc people on tiktok state their opinion so aggressively, it is not needed. we dont need that energy here.

okay so with that out of the way, like i said ive seen a lot of tiktoks lately and i want to kind of speak my mind (technically rant) about some of the discourse regarding characters and whatnot. This is going to be long.

also, spoilers.

so first up is caitlyn. How do i start?

Caitlyn:

I do love caitlyn... in season 1.

in s2 not so much but hear me out. a lot of people have been debating on her actions and how half the fandom hate her, half love her (some a little,,, off putting but ill get into that later) and here's my unneeded take. I don't think its valid. like her actions in s2 are so morally wrong it blows my mind.

first of all, Im not going to say that its ooc of her because that doesnt make sense to say. this cant be ooc (in my perspective) because we have never seen caitlyn angry to the point of doing this. this is our (or my) first time seeing her go through grief this bad that it has her making decisions we dont particularly agree with or is objectively right to do. we cant say that this is "out of character" because we had'nt had prior idea or knowledge to how she'd cope with her mother's passing.

second off, like i said i dont think its valid. yes, i understand her actions are a result of her mothers untimely passing but we can't keep saying that it was right of her to do what she did.

we can empathize and we can understand that what she's doing is because she's had enough of jinx putting the people of piltover in danger because obviously she cares about these people, and it put her over the edge the day that her mother died because of jinx. but it doesnt mean that her actions were right objectively (i say objectively because we all have different moral compasses).

lets get into what she did

her actions consist of:

-gassing the undercity (even after watching an entire documentary/history lesson about how her mother built the ventilation systems to keep the grey out of the undercity)

i dont want to hear people saying that it never showed people dying, it was only used on the gangs, the goons, and jinx. people, we dont need to see people dying to know that the grey has been a problem zaunites have had to deal with for years until cassandra (cait's mom) built those vents.

yes, you can say that they didnt show people dying, doesn't mean that using it wont have consequences if anyone that was innocent does get affected. gas spreads, it moves, it can and it will affect anyone in the vicinity or anyone that comes across it. how do you know that it didnt affect anyone?

even in a moral lens, isnt it just wrong to use the grey ( which in the real world might be equal to something like tear gas. theory tho, going off of tear gas effects) to "clear out" the streets of the undercity where homeless people litter the streets, where children, old people, and people with disabilities roam freely?

-the scene where she insisted she wont miss her shot at jinx

for this one, i think she said this because she was obviously frustrated. she believed in her abilities and she had jinx right in front of her and obviously she wasn't thinking straight.

but people, i cant defend her when i saw her miss her shot just a minute prior. she can think that about herself, that she can shoot past isha and hit jinx in the head, i cant. like i said she missed, it is absolutely not a guarantee to her that they wont move once she pulls the trigger, which is exactly why she hit jinx in the finger instead, and almost killed vi before too.

like its more understandable for me that that statement would come from her, than if it came from someone that was watching the show.

with that, i think i covered mainly my thing with caitlyn. i do empathize, and i do think that for someone thats grieving and angry, her actions can be understandable in that perspective. i do not however, think her actions are justified, especially bc its borderline fascist (if not already). she's a dictator in simpler terms and its just so wrong no matter how i look at it.

i mentioned earlier as well that there were caitlyn supporters that were off putting, but honestly even caitlyn haters can be the same so really its not just a one sided thing going on. the least we can do with this topic, especially because its not black and white, is be civil and just talk about it properly we dont need aggression.

Jayce:

I love jayce, i truly do. well, for the most part.

this rant simply started bc i saw people saying he's privileged, he's egotistical etc, etc.

here is my take.

some people (might just be one actually) see jayce as a minority, or an immigrant and believe that that erases his privilage. but let's talk about it.

no matter if jayce is a minority, or an immigrant, it does not erase that he is from a known house (even if its small) and lives in piltover. he is in the academy, a known scientist and inventor, and he's part of the council. where is the privilege? right there.

he has privilege, why are we erasing that? he has the privilege to live in piltover, to study and learn, to meet with the highest of the highs that control and lead their entire nation, to be known as a great inventor and scientist who, through hextech, has improved the lives of many, who bears a name that is recognizable as a house, and even if he is not equal in wealth with salo or mel, is still equal in status because he now stands amongst them in the same rank and has mel beside him to get the other counselors on board with his plans or ideas.

he has privilege, we cant erase that just because he's an immigrant, because objectively he's living a life better than anyone in the undercity does. hell, viktor has privilege because he's living in piltover now, he no longer lives in the undercity where people struggle, get hunted down, and killed.

thats mostly what i wanted to talk about, i cant say if he is egotistical because i cant remember him being one? arrogant in a way, maybe. but egotistical im not so sure.

with that note.. thats all the word vomiting i can do. but mainly my main gripe is how s2 loses what i loved with the s1 storyline and its the oppression that piltover has on the undercity. it could have been even better if they had handled it properly but i guess it just gets erased like that..

anyways, like i said im up for discussion. you're free to dicuss, to correct, to agree because i can admit i might be forgetting about certain scenes or diaogue or whatnot and its good to be educated and to learn from other people as well.

so, idk, dont take this too personally. at the end of the day it is a show, with important storylines, but still just a show nevertheless. we dont need to be so personal and so aggressive with debates, we can have it like adults, and we can have opinions and thats okay.

thanks for listening lmao

[castlebyersafterdark]

Hello babes ❤️😊 I often journal about my day to day, and do a lot of write-ups about major events, things weighing on my mind, or retrospectives. The turning of the New Year is as good an event as any to write and reflect, so I'm posting a CastleByersAfterDark themed journal online to my dear blog to start off 2025. Thoughts, thanks, and resolutions/goals:

FANDOM

The last year has been such a game changer. I wasn't having very much fun online anymore which was bothersome for me, since fandom and nerding out over stuff I'm into has been one of main hobbies since I was really young. I still was massively invested in Stranger Things but felt stagnant and burnt out as all I was doing was scrolling and reading and was kinda bored. Found a few blogs on the "spicy" side and the gossip side and lurked with intrigue and envy. Tired of watching and never interacting, I created The Castle and joined all the fine folks I admired. My maelstrom of an imagination finally had a place to process and settle again.

This blog took on a life of its own - where I thought I would use it to simply track ideas for wips and maybe converse with other writers, I never anticipated this interactive space where we can all hang out and chat and share secrets and be totally open at our pseudo, perpetual sleepover online with friends both named and anonymous, from all over the globe. The content might get strange or emotional or filthy or silly here, but I never feel alone in letting my nerdom or freak flag fly and I hope many of you feel the love I certainly feel here and enjoy joining in and doing the same. Fandom feels a lot different than it did when I was thirteen years old, but this corner of the fandom has captured that old school magic. Creativity and freedom and connection.

In 2025, I look forward to this wonderful show we love airing and getting to experience the final season after immense anticipation. I eagerly await watching our beloved Will and Mike play out their beautiful storyline on screen. I am excited for all of the mysteries to unravel and finally be understood and to discover which theories were correct and what none of us could have predicted. I'm anticipatory about seeing a slow burn romance play out and pay off between two boys in an unexpected era and to feel joy and catharsis from a storyline I did not expect in a mainstream show. I look forward to the fun and peace to follow once the truth is finally known without a shred of doubt. I don't plan on going anywhere. Going to be a long year. And nebulous time after. Looking forward to continuing to theorize and draft ideas and hear visions and gab about the actors and Byler. I have so many stories to post. Incredibly happy to be here hanging out with yall. ❤️🫂🫶

REALITY

Something... major... happened to me this past year. Hmm. Wonder what that was? Oh, right. That man of mine decided I'm ok enough and put a ring on it. Hahaha I kid, you all know by now that we are madly in love 😉 2025 I will be married! Gosh. It's been months. Still cannot believe.

We're getting married in the summer and I'm also leaving the country for the first time for our honeymoon. Excited, nervous, filled with joyous anticipation. I always wanted to be someone's boyfriend - check. Found my absolute perfect person and we've helped each other become better people and be the best versions of ourselves. Soon, I will be and have a husband which is the most surreal thing, to have each found our The One, our soulmate. Mentally, I'm telling teenage me "you'll never believe what happens - everything you dream about comes true. Hold on for me, bud." 💙💙

RESOLUTIONS/GOALS

Write more. FINISH writing projects. Stay creative. Practice practice practice art. Continue to strive to be kind. And be kinder to myself. Be more present in real life and ensure time spent on hobbies is time spent worthwhile. Have fun and stay out of discourse. Never stop learning and enjoying the pursuit of knowledge.

Follow the colors as mantra. 🏳️‍🌈 Sex 💗 life ❤️ healing 🧡 sunlight 💛 nature 💚magic and art 💙 serenity 💜 spirit 💖 PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL FOR 2025 😘😘😘

[nihilnovisubsole]

hey, gang! miss me? no? too bad, because i miss you. i think about you all the time. i hope the year has treated you well. this is, what, the third, fourth year i've done a year-in-review post? have i done more than that? it's after midnight. i can't be bothered to check. i fear a lot of the mysteries of getting older, but i will say, i don't mind that it's easier to shrug certain things off. i look back on all the times i hid from some scary fandom discourse and go, "god, why did i care?" it helps to have other things going on.

on the other hand, i guess 2024 was the year of finding out what happens when you put everything into your day job and leave nothing for the weekend. it was a wild year at work, which i assume is normal as a game ramps up to ship. i gave a lot, which was good! i'd be lying if i said it didn't take a lot out of me. important people at trade shows have now seen things i wrote! i got to work with voice actors! good news: a lot of your faves are great people! i also made, like, no progress on any of my own projects except the picrew, which i still chip away at. yes, i still draw. more on that later.

one or two people in my coworkers-turned-friends circle have broached the subject of occupational burnout and whether i've reached it yet. as i said last year, i remember what voltage burnout felt like, and it took a much weirder, angrier journey to get me there. it's kind that they're looking out for me, though. i think it's something all creative people could stand to keep an eye on. a buddy of mine even gave a GDC talk about it. it's a shame GDC is so stingy with access to its talks. at least this article has a great summary if you're interested in learning more.

there were other things, though. my mother broke her hip in june, which forced me into a caregiver role that i'm not suited to. don't worry, she's fine now. i love her, so it was important to me, but it didn't leave a lot of time to sit and write for fun. i started what i thought would be a casual fanfic project, wildly over-scoped it, and made a ton of work for myself. i outlined an original story about a difficult, personal subject and a culture i'm descended from, but not really familiar with. there's a lot of pressure to do it right, is what i'm saying. i'm taking the only path i can think of, which is to bury myself in research. the trouble is, a lot of the literature about this time and place is also very challenging, so it burns a lot of brain calories. it's a far cry from what usually gets me to start a story, which is "i want these characters to sleep together. let's see where it goes."

in a different time, i would've taken this struggle as an omen that i wasn't the right person to write this story and abandoned it. it's critical that i don't take the coward's way out this time if i'm going to honor the question i asked at the end of last year. "what is my work saying?" my mother told me the same thing a few months ago: "i think you're a good writer, you just need to find good things to say." i take that to mean i have to write closer to real experiences, which means including the parts i don't like: disappointment, loss, mistakes, uncertainty. i had all of this year to figure out how, and the evidence shows i didn't. i don't know what to say. "oh well?" maybe you can't put a deadline on these things. in the meantime, hercule and aida deserve more stories (it's an hercule and aida story), and i want more people to know about them, and maybe i can say something real through them.

this was also the year that i reckoned with the other side of "all it takes is money to make problems go away." i was able to travel, i mean really travel, for the first time. all it took was being able to throw a chunk of my salary at it. i had some shipping drama [sorry, not the romantic kind] where i had no choice but to pony up a ton of customs fees. my arm PT didn't work, so i'll have to try a specialist who's out of my insurance network and pay full price to see them. this must be what they call "being a successful adult." i thought it'd look different. i wanted to live in the city and have a hot, mysterious boyfriend. well, i can still live closer to the city if i keep saving up for that house, and maybe some hot, mysterious guy will take pity on me someday. do you think they like 32-year-olds who play video games and have flat chests? i went all the way to paris and still didn't find out. damn! 🤌

nah, i'm kidding. i mean, i'm not, but i have other things to worry about. as i mentioned above, things with my arm have taken a curious turn. after six and a half years of assuming i had tendinitis, i found out, not only is it likely not that, i may not be injured at all. the particulars of this theory get out into the weeds of neuromuscular science, so i'll only bore you with them if you want me to. the point is, if any of it holds water, it would go a long way toward explaining why none of the typical rest/heat/stretching/strengthening protocols have worked. it's actually unfathomable how much effort i've put into solving this mystery just so i can get back to drawing fictional people kissing. you can call my creative work boring or predictable or whatever you want, but never say i haven't committed to the bit.

i don't tend to read my previous years-in-review. this year, i did, because i sensed i was grappling with a lot of the same things as last year. there's nothing i hate like being repetitive. not that you would know from the way i keep writing the same three character archetypes. humor me here. i was all set to keep whining until i reminded myself how 2023 had gone, and i thought, "geez. it wasn't that bad." nobody i love died, for a start. my health is better. i have some unread books sitting around. as terrible as 2023 was, i survived it. if you're reading this, you did too.

so here's what i'm going to do. i think you should do it with me, though whether i'm in any position to give advice is up to you. i'm not going to make any predictions about whether 2025 will be bad or good. i'm just going to see what happens. deal? all right. we'll check in next year. you'd better be there!

[wordpress-blaze-245400678]

🌑 HighsThat Hollow You: The Surfs That Steals Our Streets

A reflection inspired by Corner Life

By Carlos Dávila Medina

In every corner of every city, there’s a hush.

A deal made in silence.

A young soul leaning over a flame, chasing something that won’t last.

And the world turns away—until it’s too late.

They call them surfs now.

Little baggies. Shiny capsules. Crushed dreams in powder form.

They’ve got names that sound like music—Perk, Molly, K2, Lean, Trank, Xanny.

But make no mistake—these aren’t highs.

These are hollows in disguise.

🧪 The Different Types of “Surfs” Today:

Fentanyl & Perks (Percocet) – Painkillers turned poison. One line too deep and the heart forgets how to beat.

K2/Spice – Synthetic weed laced with chemicals. You smoke a hit and sometimes never come back the same.

Xanax & Benzos – Anxiety killers turned dream killers. You float for a while—until your life drowns.

Lean (Codeine + Soda) – That purple drank? It numbs the mind. Slows the soul.

Meth & Crack – Still lurking. Still deadly. Turning brilliance into bones.

Tranq (Xylazine) – Flesh-eating, soul-stealing. You don’t get high. You get haunted.

And then there’s the hybrids.

Kids mixing uppers and downers, chasing a balance they’ll never find.

Not realizing these cocktails often come with a funeral.

🕯️ The Real Effect:

Drugs don’t just steal your body.

They rob your mother of her laughter.

They turn your sister into a stranger.

They put your name on a t-shirt and call it a memory.

They take the brightest minds,

the funniest dudes,

the warmest girls—

and leave behind shadows that smell like regret.

💔 The Street Don’t Love You

They’ll hype you up to try it.

Say you gotta stay numb to survive.

Say it’s just to “take the edge off.”

But what they won’t tell you is:

The edge you’re running from might be the only part of you still real.

You were born for more than this.

You are not meant to dissolve.

You are meant to rise.

🧿 A Poetic Truth from the Block

I’ve seen boys fly high,

only to fall with no wings,

chasing clouds that never rained

and waking up inside their own funeral.

But I’ve also seen healing—

the kind that breaks before it builds.

So if you’re reading this…

you’re still alive.

And that means you still get to choose.

📖 Corner Life

 was written for them.

For the boys who never had a father to tell them no.

For the girls who escaped through smoke.

For the ones who lost a friend to a bad bag and still carry their name in their heart.

This book isn’t fiction. It’s a mirror—

and sometimes, the truth in it hurts.

But sometimes, that pain is what saves you.

👉🏽 Read the story. Feel the weight. Find the hope.

Purchase Corner Life here

Source: 🌑 HighsThat Hollow You: The Surfs That Steals Our Streets

[thelioncourts]

https://x.com/jamreiderson/status/1863413868715737454?s=46 please share your thoughts on here they are so appreciated 🫶🏻 need to hear from likeminded fans, some of this discourse is just…

I'm afraid to get too into anything right now because I feel like when I answer rashly my words reflect that rashness and my ramblings become just that: rambling. But to get something "on paper" right now I'll start by saying that I have been part of the show-fandom since the day it started, possibly even earlier if my ravings about Sam and Jacob from February and July 2022 are anything to go by. I have also been in the book-fandom for over a decade. I have been here since I was in high school and I, myself, have grown and changed drastically in that time (makes sense given I'm now far beyond my university days and am a full-fledged adult, nearing her third decade alive, wow) and in turn my thoughts on these characters and these stories have grown and changed drastically too. I have witnessed book-centered conversations, I have witnessed everyyyy show-centered conversation, and I have been in fandom spaces my whole life yet I still cannot wrap my head around the people I share fandom spaces with.

I won't ever pretend to be any kind of expert on gender and sexuality; I took some classes in college that I really enjoyed about the subjects, and I love perusing literature and academic writings on the subjects as well (more since getting into Interview if I'm being honest) but that doesn't make me an expert, I get that. I also won't ever pretend to be any kind of expert on race; again, I took some classes in college that I really enjoyed, and I also peruse literature and academic writings on race (also even more since getting into Interview, which is great regarding what it's introduced me to and also a highlight on how little education focuses on anything but white-centered writings unless taking a class in college specifically centered on writings not by white people) but I am by no means an expert. But something that is so glaringly and alarmingly apparent in this particular fandom space is that a majority of this fanbase cannot uncenter whiteness from gender and sexuality, cannot empathize or even sympathize with a black lead, and will talk over black voices in the fandom over and over and over again and will take the clapping and cheering of the loud and TikTok-brained masses as validation.

The topic of gender and sexuality in this show (and I'm talking just the show, let's leave the books as their own thing in this regard) is simultaneously really simple and also incredibly complex. There is enough material to write papers and papers on every single character and gender and sexuality, there is enough material to write papers and papers on every single relationship in this show and gender and sexuality. And so, with that in mind, I also won't pretend that one tumblr post I'm typing out on a Monday night has answers, but there's definitely more coherency here than what is available on Twitter with its limited character-count and the skill issue of its users to not read entire threads/to address only one Tweet of a twelve-part thread.

There is always a huge pushback in the fandom when any conversation of femininity, gender, societal roles, etc. regarding Louis is at the forefront. And the pushback is almost always a majority of white fans talking over a majority of black fans. Now, is that a generalized statement? Yes, of course; there are white fans on both sides of this conversation, and black fans on both sides of this conversation (and it's crazy and sad how I'm talking "sides" like this is just that, but yet it is), but the fact is that it is a majority of white fans pushing back against a majority of black fans.

This pushback happens every. single. time. conversation about Louis in these basic parameters happen. And what I've noticed a lot this time around is that insane statements like "These Louis fans only want Louis to be a trad wife" gain momentum like crazy as though that's a commonality and not like. three fanfics total, garnering more people to invalidate Louis fans who are discussing his femininity, gender, societal roles, etc. (and, again, these fans are predominantly black fans who are getting invalidated by the loudest voices in the fandom). But not even bringing those statements into the mix, it's as though people cannot remotely stomach the thought that there are a million things about Louis that are feminine, that there are a million things about Louis' gender that point in a million directions, that Louis' societal roles are complex and also so explicitly written in so many ways, that Louis likes and craves and enjoys certain parts of submission, etc. etc.

Again, I know I'm missing things. And it's gross to watch it happen over and over and over again. And no one in this fandom (and this applies on a lot of fronts, not just this particular one, but that's a whole other conversation) wants to have a conversation at all, no one wants to think. They want to quote a line out of context from the books or take a line out of context from the show (and completely misread so many lines, I'm sorry, but the reading comprehension in this fandom is atrocious) or take some statement about gender or sexuality or something out of context from a reading that actually doesn't apply to any character whatsoever. If it can't be a hit Twitter blurb, no one cares. Like, I'll be incredibly honest, there are things this fandom talks about often regarding Lestat and gender that I genuinely do not understand where they are pulling their thoughts from. I'll see people talk about something as though it's super obvious and yet I cannot remotely find where they are getting this information, read, etc. And there's a world out there where I could say that and ask to talk to someone about it and have an actual conversation so I could perhaps see where they're coming from and, even if I never agreed, maybe understand it a little bit more. But I don't think anyone can have that conversation without insults being thrown, and I'm beyond wanting to have that conversation when the same conversation about Louis is met with antiblackness and the stereotypes about black men that further showcase how a majority of the white people in this fandom cannot uncenter their whiteness. And I'm still not sure if any of this makes sense. And I'm sure I'll have to turn anon off or something because I can already see and anticipate people sending gross things under the anonymous gift of Tumblr. But yeah. I don't want to have these conversations anymore, I've been having them for three years now, I can't help that new fans are joining and reinvigorating old discourse, but then the discourse, as discourse in this fandom so often does, becomes disgustingly antiblack and it's like -- it's just this cycle of awfulness and it makes things not enjoyable and it makes me angry and sad and it adds to my continued loss of hope that literacy skills will ever improve, etc. etc. etc.

[holyblanchett]

I have mixed feelings about Aubrey Plaza but that’s a discussion I am keeping off your account for both of our sanities sake :) agreed tho, if Lady Death ever returns, i dont think it’ll be Aubrey, unless we do get aaa s2 somehow.

I also agree with you that the casting of Aubrey and Kathryn and the fact they just both did really damn good with their characters and dynamic is the main reason people are so okay with letting Disney get away with lacklustre representation. Hell, they still somehow get flowers for it as if the homosexual tension all season to lead to a single kiss (if at all) to lead to one of them dying storyline isn’t a tale as old as time. It’s not that revolutionary and it plays into doomed Yuri and bury your gays and its just straight up not enough anymore in this day and age. Especially in this day and age. But i said I wouldn’t get political here.

Overall im super happy Wandavision and now AAA have made me notice and get into Kathryn Hahn, she is such a joy and i do love an unproblematic fave to get into, I am but a simple faggot after all.

But, and this is also about fandom culture overall, I do see a surprising lack of productive discussion on AAAs problems. People were really mad and then everyone just shut up and was fine because the showrunner said something about cottagecore on a podcast(or article i am not looking that up rn lol).

When we could very well be like No Jac, they didn’t actually live in a cottage because you didn’t write that in your script when you might as well could have. Own up to that Queen. It’s not 2015 anymore, if your queer rep sucks then you gotta take accountability. We deserve better. Always have.

I dunno, I dont like queers as a money maker in media, even tho its actually such an interesting topic too, i could go on forever (clearly). Look guys were so woke! Kind of! A little bit! Don’t look too close and by god, be grateful!

Long Story Short, the more Schaefer tries to sell us this lesbian wives love story epos the less I buy it. Still hoping for season 2 but not optimistic thats actually gonna happen.

Remember kids, Big Corp just wants your money, they dont care about your feeling at the end of the day. Do with that what you will.

- 🐇

Thank you for sparing us both the future discourse her fans are insane lmao. At the time, it honestly felt like I was the only one upset after the episode aired. If you followed me during that time -- I apologize, I think my crash out lasted like three days 😭 I still refuse to rewatch the show because of the way Jac/Marvel treated their relationship. It is by far one of the worst things I've seen in a long time. And before people come for me, yeah you can cry in my comments about censoring all you want. Jac literally said the reason there wasn't more Agathario was because she didn't think people would actually care. So if you're easily triggered, I would suggest you skip this post cus I'm not arguing with yall in the comments today.

Now back to your point. The bury your gays trope, particularly involving wlw ships plays into decades of exploitation of the queer community. Also let's be real, it's such a cliché and for someone that had queer writers (allegedly) on the show idkw no one told her how detrimental and insulting it is. I honestly wouldn't have been as upset if Agatha had died any other way. But killing her while she's essentially vulnerable and in the arms of the woman she has so much unresolved conflict/feelings with is just nasty work. Jac knew Agatha was supposed to die from the beginning. Which means she could have written it any other way. Hell, the final battle should have been against the Salem Seven and I stand by this.

There's going to come a time when playing both sides isn't going to work. I can only hope that in the future Marvel gets with the times and puts more care into their queer ships. It's what we deserve and we shouldn't settle for anything less.

[nitewrighter]

What I don't get about all the hubbub regarding the Pokemon leaks, is why these people are so upset about it defiling their canon, when all of the stuff that has been revealed is stuff from the cutting room floor? You know, stuff that was not implemented in any game? The stuff they're pitching a fit about is stuff that's explicitly not canon. Typhlosion COULD have fucked, but GameFreak decided they don't, in the end. That should have been the end of he conversation, but it wasn't, unfortunately.

All it's done is show just how many so-called Pokemon fans lack any kind of reading comprehension. Not that it's anything new mind you, but the lack of self-awareness is starting to get well and truly tiresome.

Yeah I'm honestly so over most "bUt tHE cOnCePT ArT!" discourse at this point. I kind of got over it back with all the "Mercy was almost a black man!!!" discourse with Overwatch back in the day. People were so happy to like, immediately get misogynistic as fuck to basically be performative about how much better Mercy would be as a black man, how much better all the Mercy ships would be as M/M, even though, like, we did still have a black male healer with Lúcio, and then we got another black male healer hero with Baptiste, and the "Mercy would be better as a black man!!" crowd paid Baptiste about as much mind as chopped liver. So much of the shock and outrage is so performative like--you're still consuming the media, dude!!

And the same goes for a lot of animated films--like, yeah, the final product of animated films isn't as pretty as the concept art--the point of concept art is piecing together the concept! Of course that's going to go through a meat grinder as animation studios adjust for budget and timeframes and all this other shit!!

I actually wrote about this a little bit when discussing fanfic communities for library school a while back--gimme a sec, let me try and find it in my docs--

Fans write fics influenced, not simply by the text of a media itself, but by cast interviews, concept art, even tweets, videos, or other social media posts by actors, directors, and writers. ... As the internet has made these behind the scenes perspectives widely accessible, the “source material” for fanfic has thus expanded to outside of the canonical text of a media and further into an “auxiliary canon” of its production. ....  The fan fascination with “Behind the scenes” posits a Doylist meta-narrative ripe for speculation. Watching an actor switch between being in character and out of character on a blooper reel or other behind the scenes media lends itself to a certain parasocial intimacy—the viewer has a sense that they are viewing something genuine and organic that represents the “True” person behind the fictional character (McGee, 2005) when in fact that particular clip was far more likely curated out of dozens or hundreds of hours of more tedious takes and bloopers—at the end of the day, they are still viewing  only a fragment of another human in the context of a professional environment. 

...goddamn I had fun writing that paper. But god it was also so influenced by my "Desperately searching for any and all Overwatch lore crumbs" fandom experience.

But like--Yeah, while I'm largely over the frequently performative shock towards stuff that didn't make it to the final product, I do understand production of media as informing fandom experience.

[lurkingshan]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

Tagged by @negrowhat to give away all my fandom secrets. I came up in the US, so most of these will be Western shows. Also be aware that I'm old and been around in fandoms for decades, some of you youths might not even recognize these ships.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Felicity and Noel. I was very into them (and very anti-Ben) when I was first watching this show at the tender age of 14, but then I rewatched it as an adult, realized Noel was a classic Nice Guy with some clear warning flags, and settled into Team Ben.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmm maybe Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins? I think I started reading Sweet Valley High at, like, age 8. For TV, I was a sitcom kid and I was obsessed with Dwayne Wayne and his flip-up glasses as a child. I loved him and Whitley. Damn now I want to rewatch.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

The first I read? I am pretty sure the honor goes to Buffy and Spike.

They were the first ship I remember having that classic fanfic brainrot combo of 1) captivating me entirely with their dynamic and 2) canon leaving me unsatisfied. I lost months of my life over at Elysian Fields.

In terms of the first fanfic I wrote, the honor goes to Ian and Mickey.

I was big into Shameless for its first four seasons. But then the show went way off the rails, the fandom went with it, and I quit watching and scrubbed all my fandom activity off the internet.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I honestly have no idea. Probably something Buffy, I was doing a lot of internet dwelling for that show.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Getting into discourse is my whole entire thing LOL. I have survived many, many ship wars and let me tell ya you haven't seen unhinged until you've been knee deep in the tags in a long-term fandom with multiple ships for the protagonist. One of the things I love about BL and nearly all Asian dramas is that we go into every show knowing who the main pairing is, so we don't have to fight about ships.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Hmm I was a big Buffy/Angel anti and that was before Spuffy was even a twinkle in my eye. I never liked that man in a romance until he got hooked up with Cordelia in his own show (but then they ruined it ugh). I was also very anti-Harry/Hermione back in the OG HP days (let characters have meaningful platonic relationships!).

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I've been on a Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian kick of late.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

OTPs are eternal! Like I said above, since I mostly watch Asian drama now, they're baked in. My fav of my current watches is Ten and Prem.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

YES I AM STILL MAD ABOUT ROBIN AND BARNEY.

You show me two characters who are clearly uniquely compatible, you give me a brief taste of their extremely fun and non-traditional relationship, and then you break them up and stick her with the milquetoast Nice Guy protagonist in a total betrayal of your entire narrative premise? Fuck off forever, HIMYM, I will see you in hell.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hmm nothing comes to mind. If I decided to hate a pair in the past I am pretty likely to still be hating.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I would like to see you try to cancel me!! I'll echo Eboni here and say Brian and Justin, though of course there were people who hated them because of the age gap back in ye olden times, too. Fandom spaces are mostly women and women in queer fandom spaces often struggle to account for the totally different culture and power dynamics between m/m pairings.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really do crack ships, I am a canon pairing girlie.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I don't know who the ultimate winner is, but I think it's probably a neck and neck competition between Spuffy and Wangxian as my most read pairing.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

There's actually a lot of variety in them in terms of personalities, appearance, and tropes. I think what makes me really click into a ship is the feeling that the two people are uniquely suited to each other and well matched to go through life together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When I don't believe they can actually make it.

Tagging @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @imminentinertia @shortpplfedup @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @littleragondin.