#itz era

[likeafantasy]

[marie-is-seein-stars]

take sexy gaze at the tags, they'll tell you every thing you need to know about my new line of goofy ass tomfoolery

[alcyneus]

SOFT BLOCKED ・ following @.alcyneus

oikawa’s novelist era

3:07PM ・ 04/23/2025 ↳ 983.3k ♥︎ 1.4M ↻ 98.1k ılıl 1.6M ➢ 646.3k

taglist link @.pmgranate ・ 3h swearing, ao3 fanfic, generally stupid humor, kys/kms/die jokes, yn get hated on like genuinely like literally over nothing in her control so idk take that as u will, conspiracies (oikawa is the fanfic writer), i think im mad funny with the first twt post yes go argue with the wall if you disagree cus idc

view more replies (masterlist)

and if anyone asked me what is happening in this chapter i would not have an answer because personally i do not have a single clue

@mayyhaps @thea-herondale @eoniiian @kukkurookkoo @bokutoko @sunarots @renardiererin @lavender-pink-socks

@heyhihellowhatsup @sahrberrii @your-mum3000 @earier @shozuken @nscuit @folksmione @angeleilee

@personally4runa @stxrsberkshire @literallyushiwaka @frootloopscos @x3nafix @3p1logu3 @oneanabillion

@anqelkoz @thatmf-jay @sophiahearttss @radlightfire @captaincyberqueen @akaashislovee @avis-writeshq

@ichococat @jayathelostdragon @tojirin @livteracts @ackermansie @kitasluvrr @itz-phantomz @torkorpse

@existing-apparently @reverd-ck @yosuk-e @kissunday @js-a-silly-little-guy @evesfairytale @rantsbytk @4jjsbank

@reidsworld @chuuyalvover @sexylexy12

𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐬, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

[spookythesillyfella]

i definitely havent brought thiz up before – despite the idea haz been lingering in the back of my mind for . at the very least . a year – but "Who Is She?" – I Monster iz really fitting for hv tony

and like . when i say that . i mean that it managez to encapsulate both hiz existing situation and being about him . somehow

"Oh, who is she? A misty memory // A haunting face // Is she a lost embrace?" – thiz doublez az a line about chester – whoz memory haz been 'lost to time' . so to speak – but also about tony himself – or rather 'antoinette' and . more specifically . the innocence that he possessed during that era of hiz life

"I'll call her name // Across an endless plane // She'll answer me // Wherever she may be" – workz az tony and the fact hez still grieving ; grasping at anything that might . for a moment . bring back someone he held so dear . even if just in spirit

"Somewhere across the sea of time // A love immortal such as mine // Will come to me // Eternally" – i think thiz drawz more into the fact that tony and chester had a formidable bond together – for a long time . chester waz the only thing tony had in the first place – and thiz iz mostly a dim hope that maybe not all iz lost ; somehow . maybe someday . they will be reunited . regardless of whether or not itz in life or death

"Immortal she // Return to me" – a desperate plea to have thingz return to how they used to be

[catghoulz]

itz crazymaking how many post-dlc crucible analysis ive seen just completely gloss over the reveal tht the crucible sprouted from giantz. i mean therez pretty strong mythological precedence for giants az primordial beingz from whom other life emergez, strong "building the world from ymirs flesh" vibez. im pretty sure the implication iz tht giantz & their bigass buried skeleton ancestors (the "old gods") are just the indigenous lifeformz ov this planet who revered metyr & her children upon their meteorfall (az seen by their enshrinement in the divine towerz alongside meteoric ore) before eventually the elden beast arrivez & they sprout the cruciblez from which all other terrestrial life would derive, with th relationship between these eventz being A bit murky. Probably the beast had something to do with the creation of beasts though. seemz intuitive.

imo the timeline goez Old gods/ancient giantz are the most primordial beingz on the planet titanstyle -> they develop a smithing culture with an acute reverence for meteoric ore -> metyr arrivez upon a meteorite, her & her children are subsequently deified in the divine towers -> alabaster & onyx lordz Probably make planetfall around this time? idk theyre present in sealed tunnel which haz divine tower architechture & described az ancient themself so it could be earlier or later but definitely overlapping ancient giant era -> arrival of the elden beast -> crucible sprouting, birth of disparate beasts, formation ov the rauh culture az evidenced by iconic depictionz ov animalz which the divine towerz lack -> beastmen & ancient dragonz born of the giantz cruciblez form a new empire, contemporary with rauh -> humanity evolvez & integratez into preexisting giant & dragon culturez -> Probably like thousands ov yearz ov tht status quou -> bayle & hiz ""lowborn"" kin rebel against the dragonlordz oppression, shattering the farum empire & likely coming into conflict with the giantz given their participation in dragon communion & later feud with the ice drakez -> in the power vacuum left by bayle & placidusaxz stalemate their former human vassalz form their own nationz, transitioning into the settingz more grounded human-scale ancient era, your ancient dynastyz of uhl and your enir ilimz & such.

also semi related i Do not think numen are like Actually extraterrestrial more than like. any other human could be said to be due to the whole Made of stardust bit. i think the "other world" numen are said to originate from iz more in the spiritual sense than the astral sense.

imean the word they translate az "other world" soundz a hell ov a lot more like a euphemism for the lands of shadow and/or eternal cities than a hint tht theyre space alienz or what ever. nah i think theyre just regular humanz with a rich spiritual tradition whose originz must be veiled in occult mystery in tlb bc marika haz erased their true origin from historical memory. ALSO both their english & japanese names derive from folkloric/tolkien people said to be from a Mysterious distant magical island not like. Mars or what ever. nah theyre az terrestrial az the rest ov humanity imo. Really dont think itz necessary to assume theyre like fantasy nordic alienz & Indeed would heavily prefer not to without stronger evidence. extraterrestrialz who just look like "aryan" humanz suckz az a concept badly

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for July 13, 2015; #87.

Basementality “Night Time The Right Time”

7 Letta “Strive On”

D Prosper (a.k.a. Mastermind) :Hip Hop Heads”

Troubleneck Brothers “Back To The Hip-Hop”

Biazee “Just Parlay”

Nobodies, The “Check It Out”

6th Floor “Project Logic”

Finsta & Bundy “Spirit Of The Boogie”

Nine feat. A.R.L. Da X’rsis “Ova Confident” (Darc Mass RMX)

Mmomentumm “As I Move On”

To Da Core “We Got It Goin’ On”

Hard 2 Obtain “Ghetto Diamond”

True Headz “Inner Vibe”

Da Other Side “Bloodline” (demo)

Gutter Snypes “Who Fell”

Private Investigators “Who Am I? (God)”

Big Yang “Blow Up Da Spot”

Mass Productions “Addict”

Tha Tribezmen “Who Got The Vibe”

Gee Rock & Tha CND Coalition “Follow For Now (Revisited)”

Inviseez, The “Haggen Daj”

Radikal Doodz “Definitely On”

Outfit, The “Rise & Shine”

Da Great Diety Dah “Mind Skills”

Big Squig “No More Running From The Cops”

Da Looptroop “Snot Noses”

Hoodratz “Murdered Ova Nuttin’”

Ikee “Sky’s Da Limit”

J-Force “Bullseye”

Sesh “Definition S.E.S.H.”

G Func & Nucs “Where We From”

Down Low Assassins “Who Got What”

Mad Kap “Da Whole Kit And Kaboodle”

Thrust “Do You Understand? (Scam RMX)

Raggedy Man “I”

Anotha Level “What’s That Cha Say”

Brothers Grimm “I.C.O.K. MC”

Omega “This Life”

Rumbletilskinz “Mad M.F.”

Joint Ventures “Itz Da Joint” (RMX)

Ring “One Game (Left To Play)”

A. To The D. “Cumin Ta Getcha”

Bonus Omega; underground and white-label golden-era hip-hop / rap.

[cosmic-message]

INTRO POST !! 👽

☆ hi !! my name is kasper (but I also occasionally go by vivi, porygon/pory, or nebby) ^w^ !! (he/xe) this blog is for all my alterhuman, selfship, nd coping mechanism stuff >.<

!! this is a sideblog!! im not comfortable with sharing my main blog but if you wanna be moots just tell me and ill make a separate mutual post lol !!

i've experienced a lot of trauma specifically in my mid-childhood (10-12, which is also the age im generally regressed to,) mainly revolving around medical stuff, bullying, and abuse. i'll probably reblog a lot of hospital or medical related things, so that's something to look out for!!

i mostly don't put it on this blog but recently iv been having reeealllyyy bad flashbacks and been rememberin stuff so possibly trigger tag for SA and SH

you can ask me about stuff if you wanna, i don't mind talking about it and sometimes itz nice to vent :>

- any vents will be properly tagged and are all located under the tag [ vent...]

- i generally miss that era of being hospitalized (since it felt super comforting to me and my dad was a lot better then,) so the tag for that stuff is # [ ✦ medical ] 4 filtering purposes!!

- sometimez i like using typing quirks (js for fun!!) ask if you need a translation or anything, i'll always provide one if needed ^_^

✦ fun stuff about me!! ✦

☆ ~ i'm transmasc and aroace !

☆ ~ i have adhd, autism, and ocd !

☆ ~ here's a list of my types / kins ;

- calico cat therian

- domestic cat copinglink

- canadian lynx copinglink

- snow leopard otherhearted

- caracal otherhearted

- alienkin

- alien cat otherkin

- shiny espeon fictionkin

- spacekin

- techkin

☆ ~ my biggest kins are ;

- peridot (steven universe) !!!!!!!

- marin dram (meow wolf - omega mart)

- morgan pastore (meow wolf - THoER)

- care (petscop)

- luz noceda (toh)

- hemera philly (sparklecare hospital)

- dipper pines (gravity falls)

- penny (pokemon S/V)

- liko (pokemon horizons)

- lana (pokemon S/M)

- moth flight (warriors)

☆ ~ current f/o list (note: none of these are romantic! also idk if pet f/o 's are a thing but they are now x3)

[⚡️=pet, ⭐️=platonic, 💜=familial]

- peridot (steven universe) ⭐️/💜

- lapis (steven universe) 💜

- goosefeather (warrior cats) ⭐️

- espeon (pokemon) ⚡️

- mimikyu (pokemon) ⚡️

- sprigatito line (pokemon) ⚡️

☆ ~ antis, aphobes, and jerks dni ! you won't enjoy yourself here, and hating on me won't make me stop c:

[dingodad]

ok im like 40% joking a8t equiusprite 8ut on the topic ov little seen troll spritez returning i am Definitely expecting ghost imagez or w/e ov one or all ov the doomed aradiaspritez from th 8ot army. itz got the dual 8enefit ov Any thorough explor8ion ov vriskaz misdeedz will need 2 acknowledge aradia anyway & ALSO james roach iz a huge aradiahead & would pro8a8ly jump at the opportunity to include her critically very funny & 8rief in canon froggy era in some kinda way. im guessing they just held off on her & tavris in this upd8 8c theyd hog too much ov the spotlight

hmm. yeah see idk ive been feeling pretty confident in my assumption that we wont get tavris, at least not in any kind of significant speaking role, bc tavris just doesn't check the same boxes the other trollsprites do in terms of purpose. erisol and fefeta both talk and have personalities and/or jokes, and can fill the niches of characters like eridan, feferi and nepeta who are obviously never coming back in any other way. vriska and tavros/prite meanwhile are already well-represented here. we do have some minor duplicates in the form of two green sprites, two nepetas and two nannasprites, all of which i feel are justified by dave and nanna having been grandfathered in as characters in acts 1-4.

i do think the premise that purrgatory could bring back ANY sprite opens up some interesting possibilities like, say, getting to see an interaction between vriska and her lususprite. but i also think there is a thin line between giving old characters new purpose and just bringing stuff back for the sake of going "hey remember x" and i think thus far all writers involved have done a really good job staying on the right side of that line. sprites are only one kind of ghost haunting vriska's personal hell and i think to avoid overplaying the "vriska and the kernelsprites show" gimmick i'd rather not see sprites become representative of the ghosts inhabiting the singularity either

[tashacee]

hi hi! itz me :D Was wondering... does wild have at least one of the sages in this timeline? Either that like summoning tulin or using elemental fruits have so much prank potential lol

also... cats. i desperately want to see wild interact with a cat. will he snuggle up with them? will he act like a normal person and pet them? or would he inronically be absoloutely terrified of the little goblin creatures? just an idea lol

hnnnnnng yaaaas he has all the sages, just he can only summon them in his own era. so i can only imagine as soon as he gets back to his time they all get a run down of what's happened and. Riju and Tulin find it HYSTERICAL. Yunobo can't really tell the difference. And Sidon is CONCERNED.

They all, however, are always down for pranks.

And yessssss Wild and Cats is coming. He doesn't actually have cats in his universe, does he? So when he finallly meets one it'll be special...

hnnng im so excited

[likeafantasy]

[itgirlgyu]

fav authors?

surprise to literally no one i actually don't have one because i don't read much in real life, (like the ones I ever bought in real life were horror stories compilations) but i really like sarah hogle's humor, and rick riordan oh and!! diana wynne jones!!!

i also like humayun ahmed's short stories and anuja chauhan's novels ( funfact i read all of them) are my guilty pleasures tbh.

never forgiving red chillies for ruining the zoya factor by casting sonam WHEN THEY CASTED MY BABES DULQUER?!? (ik im going off tangent lols)

now now COMING ONTO THE REAL DEAL!!!

my favourite author is my inspiration, my muse, my mentor, my lover, my best friend—my rahrah!! no like fr tho i don't think i would have taken up writing seriously if it hadn't been for her. i got into writing as a means to like extend my overactive imagination onto somehwere so i didn't care about making it sound coherent or like organised until i met my favourite author. i read her stuff and it made me realise ah well fuck i gotta pull my shit together and took a hiatus from writing while trying different genres ( i had never wrote a drop of angst before that) and tried to replicate her writing by reading dozens of romantic era poetries because when i tell you her writing is literally flowing poetry while heavily based on action. like. you're behind the camera with her as she effortlessly narrates what is happening ad though youre experiencing it herself. it's safe to say ill never be able to reach her level but i geneuienly feel so blessed that i can call her my best friend and send my stuff to her bc like i dont think world recognition would as much her word does to me.

now onto TUMBLR,

who else other than @wildernessuntothemselves i had stopped reading on tumblr becase everything I was reading was getting boring and so many people were deactivating, UNTIL I stumbled across like this one drabble of yeonjun from them and oh my GOD WHEN I SAY SOME EMOTIONS WERE UNLOCKED IN ME it's like i had opened this whole new fucking chest of wonderful things—this is when i realised how much into dark stuff i am. and I feel like I really clicked with their writing because their dark writing, the obsessions and themes stems from the things like love which is like the best kind of motivation ever lmao ( it sounds so weird trust me im not a coherent person) and SO I READ ALL DO THEIR WORK, and again and again so i finished the loser lover series, the enhypen series they had and it was during yaqmn when i realised im into this shit for like i was SO FREAKING INTO IT like beomgyu is my favourite character ever from them ( close second to taehyun in hogwarts au sshhhhh) but yeah yaqmn made me realise that i wanna stay on tumblr but like also interact with them and be active in my own writing endeavours. also the author gave legit introduced me to so many cool authors with similar writing tropes and I am so so so thankful that I have found this side.

@hyewka gotta thank mort for introducing me to THE WONDERFUL WORKS OF rana like fr tho, like from the first story it was a hit on the nail on me. i love love love the way rana writes so so so much like they way they articulate their works, the whole situation and the emotions and their TROPES AGH CHEFS KISS. i love that their works are so long because it leaves room for me to see the development between the two characters making it feel so much worthwhile when they fuck in the end lmao like even their toxic works ( BRO HOW DO THEY ARTICULATE THEIR TOXIC CHARACTERS SO WELL) LIKE I'm literally always in awe bc it doesn't ever come off surface level? it's always so so detailed in the plain sight like whatever fucked up shit they do it notion they have it comes off genuine like this person isn't a caricature which is so hard to pull off. i can only ever wish to ever plot a detailed one shot like rana.

@itz-yerin the angst queen fr she is. okay but i know yerin is quite literally famous for her angsts( I'll come back this later) but what drew me to her stories were the fluffs. as someone who doesn't write fluffs because i feel i come off phony ( wow go off edgelord) but dude i read works and the way it's crafted with so much simplicity and love that you genuinely feel the love the characters have for each other and its done in the most mundane situations of life and i love that so much!!!

and her angst too omg, like i think ive never seen anyone tumblr yet use the trope she does in her angst and it's such a wonderful touch that makes me wanna keep reading ans ik most of her works don't really have a happy ending but it creates such a bittersweet ending that leaves this biting feeling in your heart. yerin truly the queen of hurt-hurt genre.

@channoticedmeuwu i know i haven't read much of kai's works YET BUT BRO listen the drabbles that ive read from like the flow of them genuinly makes me believe it's like those pretty lores and fairy tales that you are meant to narrate out out. the vocabulary choices and the way she structures her sentences gives me so so much joy like a number of time. ive literally sat there in awe rereading her sentences again and again. ALSO PACING!! the pacing makes me feeling like I'm walking the character, sometimes they way it indulges you into storyline is literally so magical. i swear to god i wish i could write like that man it's so so so soooo pretty!!

@ox1-lovesick was legit gobsmacked by sav's writing the first time i read them. it's so beautiful, and it's like so soft that makes you feel like. you have something swirling on the pit of the stomache—the fluff is so genuine and it doesn't come off performative at all WHICH IS LIKE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO?! bc you're reading stuff so you feel like ah yes I need to make them look like they are in love BUT NOT SAV even if it's the shortest passage the way they write genuinely makes you see the love the characters share and im out here shoving a pillow in my mouth or SHOVING IT IN THERE TO STOP laughing like THEY ARE SO FUNNY?!? SO FUCKIN FUNNY LIKE THEIR ONE LINERS GET ME SM OR SOME SHIT THEY WRITE LIKE got me giggling and cackling like a witch.

i actually don't read much but I'm trying to change that so when that happens this list will get WAY MORE LONGER!!!

[quackphobiic]

Scene kyle + Goth stan.. an ancient relic

hihi first post. I haven't been on tumblr for over 3 years now its insane LOLOLOL

neways i made this a while back but i feel like posting it cuz itz silley :3

also i know the whole scene kyle + goth stan era is over.... but we gotta get clout somehow :3

(also im aware stan looks offLISTEN I DREWTHIS WITHOUT WIFI)

god how does this site work.. scratches head.

fun !! hope u enjoy and sorry for my rambling :P

[spookythesillyfella]

soo if it wazn't obviouz . ive been sorta crazy about thiz song for a hot minute [itz my blog aesthetic atm like c'mon] and i feel like itz about time i give it a proper analysis

"I Should Be Unfinished" – Dobu no Awa with the boy . HV! Tony

"From right to left over and over and over and over again" – thiz could reprezent the fact Tony feelz stuck in that neverending loop of suffering . and how he seez no point in trying to live anymore

"I feel my ears overflowing with blood" – not only iz thiz a parallel to DHMIS 2 . but i also think it fitz in with HV! Tonyz lore phenomenally ; the "blood" can reprezent "life" in thiz scenario and . given who he iz after all . thiz "blood" iz no longer a part of him – figuratively and literally

"I'm tired of hearing it // I've had enough of this // I've memorized it // And yet I've fallen into the habit of pretending that I had forgotten" – once again . representative of the neverending cycle he feelz trapped in ; could also symbolize the fact people around him are alwayz of the mentality of "it getz better !! don't give up !!" and that he feelz sick of hearing thiz . since hez been around for so long and "nothing haz gotten better" – still . he haz thiz facade of arrogance that he uzez to brush off said commentz and "forget" about them . and the constant reminderz that they bring

"It's futile, no matter how much time I wasted // I'm still unfinished" – Tony seez himself az a very one dimensional person – he feelz like . even with all the time hez spent in the world . he hazn't been able to recover from The Event ; he still feelz incomplete becauze of the fact he can't let go . hence him being "Unfinished"

"'Like that–' // 'Such a thing–' // 'What's happened?' // 'Was that not it?'" – i feel like thiz part iz actually in relation to the fact hez been through so much and . in each era of hiz life . he hazn't been able to find something – someone – that would help him feel alive and / or hazn't ended horribly

"Even if I cried out // Even if I tore my hair // You should have a look, // It's not like I can disappear" – still . deep down . he cravez connection and having a sense of safety and belonging – he wantz someone to look at him with compassion . even if he'z so broken and bruized ; he cannot disappear completely . he'z already dead . so might az well forget looking forward to a peaceful . everlasting slumber

"Why don't we end that escape drama? // are you worn out? Let's take a break..." – personally . i see thiz az the shift in HV! Tonyz life – it goez from the bleak . isolated everyday to a slightly more tolerable and exciting experience after meeting Sketch ; stop running . even for just a moment . and letz sit down together . breathe and take a break – you must be terribly tired ...

"Suppose you've wasted that much to complete it? // Can you really say that it's right, in all sincerity, // Without averting your eyes?" – now met with care and love from people around him . he can't accept it – he must prove to people that someone az wretched az him should be left to rot . not be cared for . az hez just dead weight ; i also think that thiz iz a genuine question that he pozez to otherz . az he cannot understand completely why or how hiz loved onez can find themselves to put up with him – maybe by finding an answer . he can finally start learning to value himself properly az well

"Even if I grieved // Even if I made a fuss // You should have a look at what remains of me" – even with all hiz flawz . maybe Tony can at least accept that he still cravez to form a bond with otherz – to have something he once had again . even if he'z now "wrong" . "broken" . "Unfinished"

"I don't want to deceive myself anymore. // Are you worn out? Then let's take a break." – you're with people who love you and who you love – stop running from the truth . sit down . take a break.

"Even if I cried // Even if I was sorry // You should have a look // Give it back to them!" – i have shown you all there iz to show – all the remorse and how much i lament thiz event – give thiz happiness back to him . to her . to everyone else ; give it back. to them.

"This is how it should be, I'm alright..." – "Unfinished" . "broken" and "wrong" – thatz all i'll ever be . and thatz fine by me ; nothing can be done to alter who i am . and thatz just how thingz are going to be

"This is how it should be. I'm alright. // Hey, I'm worn out already // Goodnight..." – "Unfinished" . "broken" and "wrong" . thatz it.

[catghoulz]

the timeline ov the nox confusez me bc like. ok itz super blatant tht the nox build their settlementz upon ancient dynasty ruinz. which impliez the ancient dynasty had already fallen upon the establishment of nox civilization. which ok so far pretty simple. the nox are Potentially pretty old but at least less ancient than the dynasty. but then a wrench iz thrown in with the original description ov the nox set which describez their banishing az happening

not just "long ago" but like, fucking precambrian to dawn of history tier ancient it seemz. these same kanji are used for the era of the conflict between the giants & ice drakes/zamor tho the ancient dynasty uhhhh

ya itz more just called Old. the chronological relationship between the nox & ancient dynasty seemz way muddier in japanese... idk i guess maybe if the nox have just been around Forever then they coulda been banished underground in dinosaur timez & persisted throughout the rise & fall of the old dynasty, making new settlementz in itz ruinz. their influence iz also distinctly felt in the realms of shadow between the gaol architecture & swordhands of night. speaking ov the fingerprints on the night set are really fascinating... like the one we find is in bonny gaol so itz not just a jolan & anna thing... finger servantz ov clear nox descent are really interesting in light of the whole fingerslayer blade debacle. if we presume the fingerslayer blade being used Definitely on metyr iz the catalyst for their banishment underground & the swordhands are nox who grow up underground & are made to serve the fingerz that impliez itz basically metyr taking revenge on them for wounding her. interesting that bonny gaol seemz to be continuing the process az well... ig the fingerz have/had enough sway with th towerfolk tht bonny village waz willing to continue creating nox torture supersoldierz for them. we DO of course find the rest guarding metyr

[writingmochi]

! "picrew #6" tag game !

rules: go to this page and create a picrew version of yourself!

tagged by: @junniieesbby aka angie! i've seen this one on my tl so thanks for tagging me~

since the others also make multiple versions of these, i too do the same: left: august 2022, lissie in her clementine kruczynski era right: august 2023, lissie going back to her handsome era

tagging: @talesofyuan @itz-yerin @heart2beom and anyone who wants to do it (if you're comfy with it though)

[seancamerons]

i'm gonna come right out and say it: i loved chaotic. it was a real life real time glimpse into britney spears' life during 2004-05. it was i think on upn/presently cw and it chronicled her onyx hotel touring and a little bit after that, including the 'love' story between her and her second? husband Kevin federline and her pregnancy with sean preston. i believe it included the making of someday (i will understand). i believe the greatest hits/my prerogative coincided with this. i think i remember reading initially chaotic had a different tone in mind and was less about her romantic life, more about just generally her and her personal life. of course that remains intact, most people see it as embarrassing and stupid. (under a read more for the rest!)

i think i used to think that britney as a human at that time was going through a lot sure, the year before justin/britney's personal life was seen for the masses and he was in control of that narrative, she had just married her childhood friend jason alexander for 55 hours in las vegas that january, was promoting heavily at that for her studio album in the zone, and touring in europe for much of this documentary. she showed off the lovely room she had in a hotel, and sounded very humbled by the whole experience i recall her saying, "all this for one little person."

while self-aware, reflective and sometimes spiritual britney is a very complex individual. she surely shed the pop tart bubblegum image with the itz era and afterward. the direction i remember it giving/vibe was "britney let's loose from school girl days of bomt like its college!britney, bitch and of course what happens in college? having fun, friends, working probably, clubbing, meeting guys, parties, and doing that sort of thing." do i think it was appropriate for her age and for her sound? yes. was it mature risque and even a little naughty? you bet. did i eat that shit up, oh yes and i think even now in the zone will forever live in infamy. each track tells a story, paints a picture.

it's obvious she was heavily involved in its production, she even had favorite songs, contributed in the writing composition and credits in the liner notes, i also believe there was quite a bit of information she even helped direct or had a lot of input of what sorts of directions the videos such as "toxic" "me against the music" and "everytime" would look like. i remember seeing a short video between a segue as she performed everytime on this ABC special they did in fall of 2003, right around the time itz was released where she was playing a piano and playing the music for everytime.

for a long time it was rumored/speculated to be related as a rebuttal or even a response to justin timberlake's cry me a river which was released perhaps months before and word was getting out, her reputation was in a bad place and it was time for her to break out of the mold she was in musically and take it up a notch, push the envelope and do what she does best which is sing and perform being the entertainer but more 'her' way.

chaotic featured former alum to nsync/mmc castmate jc chazez who remained her friend at this time, her backup dancers and such, and felicia her longtime assistant and friend, who i once got to 'meet' in 2009 but that's another story.

(it was a brief hi, a smile she's just as sweet as i'd see her on tv, but i strongly think she knew i knew who she was haha without saying much and she was standing by a wall during the VIP backstage tour chatting with brett ('memba her?) I've seen britney in concerts almost 5 times, dwad in 2001, onyx in 2004, circus in 2009 and femme fatale in 2011 almost got to see a show back in 2017 i think maybe 2018 in my area when the tour came around for the last time but my BFF at the time took her stupid bf instead, unforgivable. our friendship has not been the same since. ugh.)

oh and my mom caught a glimpse of k-fed at the same concert backstage, weird and the boys sean preston and jayden were there seated around the stage with lynne, they were toddlers/little at the time. i saw them they were close to the center-right ring if i remember correctly from where i was standing. i did see her manager larry rudolph at femme fatale in a lobby i didn't get VIP that time, but i had pretty decent seats for it, but i didn't speak directly to him but i saw him in line getting a soda.)

all in all, i really enjoyed watching chaotic. best friend at the time and i bonded over britney's music, videos, crossroads, concert going experiences and such so oftentimes she comes to mind too. we used to love dressing up like in britney's style clothing/hair trends/make up and we would 'choreograph' dances to her music and we'd marathon things like that like she had chaotic on DVD so on rainy days and sleepovers we'd pop in the DVDs and watch 'em and be so interested.

a lot of people hate on it, britney herself is kind of embarrassed by it and i get that too, but a lot of it was a snapshot of what her life was like back then and how she was living, where she was and I'm sure if i watch it now, i'd laugh, cry and also be in awe like i was way back when.

a close second is for the record (2008-09) I'll talk about that another time someday. we also loved watching the HBO special from 2001, it holds a special place in my heart. total britney live, the MTV diaries, the interviews even the diane sawyer one like we had that shit down and tapes and tapes of trls, commercials, performances, tv, press things, documentaries i mean we were obsessed basically. a part of us still are. i have some things memorized, like most of crossroads i can at any given time recall some quote from the movie. i loved that britney did that stuff, even if it didn't 'work' out. I'm so proud of britney and so grateful to meet people through the britney fandoms, barmy, at concerts, and even online on fbs and tumblrs alike. for instance, @mollyhale and i have great conversations about britney spears and we have similar opinions and good thoughts regarding her and i love her so much. i cannot wait to read the memoir in full when it arrives this week. I'm also really excited to see crossroads in the movies with my bf and one of my best friends I've known a long time. britney has been a big part of my childhood, teen life, and overall existence.

i love her music, it makes me feel happy and good. i love finding a new obscure song by her, or fall in love with the songs that aren't so well known, or sing along when i hear her music on the radio, or come up on playlists. she is the top for me, and no one can speak ill of her i hate that i would go to literal 'war' so needless to say i have a lot to say about how she'd been wronged/underdog vibes and even by family/long-term boyfriends it sucked for us too the fans, because i know she didn't deserve that. i don't want to discuss the conservatorship time, but you can tell in femme fatale she was exhausted, and unhappy she didn't have the spark in her face or eyes, the songs were great and choreo but there wasn't that fire i love because she was tbh overmedicated. i hate infantilization and the narratives in regard to her mh. i do think that she has a lot trauma to work through from what I've seen in her posts, and her way of healing is speaking, and writing it out and I'm proud she's free to take those steps to reclaim herself and become independent and happy once again. it's gonna take time, nothing is overnight but she's doing fabulous. she's got an amazing legacy, so much talent, so much passion for her goals and endeavors, and she wants to burn that narrative too, she's spoken don't hat on several occasions at length on her Instagram posts as well as what I've seen in her book. she wants her fans to know who she is, where she stands because there's been a lot of buzzing over the years on that stuff and it's wonderful to feel validated and confirmed of a lot of things that weren't factually true.

i love the truth when it comes out. when i was little we'd play truth or dare, and i loved the truth but feared dare because i didn't want to be chicken but would much rather speak a truth even if it was personal, yes. truth > dare.

i'm not afraid of the truth. it will and has set her free. ✨💓