#ive been sitting on this for a bit because i was gonna wait ‘til it was done but i think assigned everything i did in 2 days (mostly the- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adelaidedrubman · 3 years ago

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INTERVIEW WITH THE DEPUTY

i was tagged by my beloveds @socially-awkward-skeleton and @direwombat to do this oc interview, also following their brilliant format of styling it as an interview with wheaty!! sending tags out to @florbelles @henbased @unholymilf @belorage @noetikat @heroofpenamstan @marivenah @ishwaris @derelictheretic @strangefable @roofgeese @confidentandgood @echo3-1 @jackiesarch @purplehairsecretlair @strafethesesinners and anyone else can @ me!

wrote this as taking place vaguely in the time frame of wildfire chapter 16, and since it’s jestiny answering obviously it cannot be considered an accurate source of lore.

“Alright, we’ll be live and on the air in ten,” Wheaty said with a wide smile, nodding towards the microphone in front of Jestiny. “Nine… eight…”

“Wait,” Jessie hissed under her breath, throwing a hand over the mic to produce a screech of feedback harsh enough to cause Wheaty to throw his headphones off. “Before we get started, just, uh — Just curious, what’s the broadcast range on this?” She motioned a thumb towards the audio equipment. “Like, is this a Whitetails exclusive, or are folks outside the uh, general area gonna get to hear it?”

“It only reaches the Whitetails,” Wheaty answered, pulling the microphone away from her.

“Any way we could change that? Like, is there a jammer I can blow up real quick?”

“What?” He questioned, replacing his headphones. “No, I — why?”

“I mean, if this is supposed to boost morale for the resistance, shouldn’t we be trying to boost it for the entire resistance?” she asked, ignoring the long beep and flashing light to her side. “Like, we should also be talking to folks, in say, the Henbane? ...The Val —”

“Dep, we’re live now.”

“Right! It’s showtime, folks!”

“Well all you Whitetails, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, here’s your cue to get excited — because today I have the chance to sit down with the infamous Deputy Rook. Thanks for chatting with us, Rook.”

“My pleasure. Good practice for when all those cult bastards are rotting in jail, and I’m doing press as America’s sweetheart.”

“That’s — the spirit, I guess. So surely everyone with a working radio has heard about your exploits, but let’s learn more about the woman behind the badge…”

Name?

JESTINY: Deputy Rook.

WHEATY: [Laughs.] Good one, Dep. Full name?

JESTINY: I just go by Rook.

WHEATY: You… don’t have a first name?

JESTINY: People ’round here just call me Rook.

WHEATY: …C’mon, there’s no one around you’re on a first name basis with?

JESTINY: Jesus fucking Christ, Wheaty, this is not good radio. Next question.

WHEATY: Alright. Deputy Rook. Woman of mystery.

Are you single?

JESTINY: Extremely single. Extremely available.

WHEATY: That’s loud and clear! And what’s your type, so the listeners know if that’s a sign to shoot their shot?

JESTINY: Nice, normal folks.

WHEATY: …Okay, word out to anyone, uh — nice and normal!

JESTINY: Yes.

Are you happy?

JESTINY: [Laughs.] I won’t lie to you, Wheaty. Shit’s been better. But I try to keep a positive attitude.

WHEATY: Seems like it.

Are you angry?

JESTINY: [Long pause. Throat clearing.] I have lost my temper a bit on occasion before.

WHEATY: Over what?

JESTINY: For fuck’s sake Wheaty, is this supposed to be a fluff piece or an interrogation? The fuck are you grilling me for? I feel like I might as well be in — [Short pause. Cough.] Can we move on?

WHEATY: Yeah. I think you answered the question.

Are your parents still married?

JESTINY: ’Til death do they part, I guess.

WHEATY: That’s sweet!

JESTINY: It really fuckin’ isn’t.

WHEATY: Okay, then.

Birth place?

JESTINY: Kentucky.

Hair color?

JESTINY: Ha, I think everyone knows that one already.

WHEATY: For anyone who might have missed it.

JESTINY: [Scoffs.] Sure, fine. Flaming locks of auburn hair. [Vague rustling in background.] Say, do you have any Dolly in here?

WHEATY: Please don’t touch my vinyls.

Eye color?

JESTINY: And eyes of emerald green... Okay, fine, light brown. But I do have ivory —

Birthday?

JESTINY: April 13, 1990. Born on a Friday the thirteenth.

WHEATY: Huh.

Mood?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: …Anything more to that?

JESTINY: I’m fine.

WHEATY: Okay. Fine.

Gender?

JESTINY: Gal.

Summer or winter?

JESTINY: Around here, summer. Snow’s pretty and all, but too fucking cold to camp out in it.

WHEATY: [Tone lightening.] So you like camping?

JESTINY: I said cool it with the fuckin’ third degree, Wheaty.

WHEATY: [Tone falling.] Right.

Morning or afternoon?

JESTINY: Afternoon.

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

JESTINY: God fucking no, I — [Pause. Cough. Short laugh.] Only with my job, and the joy of helpin’ people.

Who ended your last relationship?

JESTINY: I, uh — I don’t know if I’ve had many of what could be considered ‘relationships’ in the traditional sense, so… I’ve made a few big moves in my time, that’s… broken some things off.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

JESTINY: Aw, c’mon. Do I look like someone who could do that?

WHEATY: The listeners can’t see you, Dep.

JESTINY: Well, then, next question.

Are you afraid of commitments?

JESTINY: Afraid isn’t the right word, ’course I’m not fucking scared. But I like to not be tied down.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

JESTINY: Huh. I’ve been hugged by lots of people, lately. It’s — [Pause.] So nice. You know me. Woman of the people.

WHEATY: Self-described.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

JESTINY: I don’t fuckin’ know. Frankly, that’s none of my business. Or your —

WHEATY: I’m guessing ‘next question?’

JESTINY: You’ve got a real fucking future in journalism, kid. Good instincts.

Have you ever broken your own heart?

JESTINY: What the fuck does that mean?

WHEATY: You know, Rook. Like have you ever caused yourself heartbreak? Hurt your own feelings, or —

JESTINY: I’m fine.

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

JESTINY: C’mon, Wheaty — you’re gonna make me sound not very ‘America’s sweetheart’ with this one. [Particularly forced-sounding laughter.] [Long pause.] [Flatter tone.] But, lust. Definitely just lust.

Lemonade or iced tea?

JESTINY: Finally, some real fucking questions around here! Iced tea, but only the sweet kind.

Cats or dogs?

JESTINY: Cats, I guess. I like both, but the following you around shit can be… Cats are independent. It’s nice.

A few best friends or many regular friends?

JESTINY: Hey, they’re called best friends for a reason. But love ’em all, of course.

Wild night out or romantic night in?

JESTINY: Hm, definitely wild night out — but usually ‘wild’ in the ‘wilderness’ sense.

Day or night?

JESTINY: Night.

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

JESTINY: Did you miss when I said my birth year? I’m a grown ass woman. [Mocking falsetto.] Sneaking out.

WHEATY: When you were a kid, then. What kind of childhood did the great Deputy Rook have?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: [Perking up.] Fine? You’ll talk about it?

JESTINY: I’m saying my childhood was fine. Normal childhood.

WHEATY: Of course…

Fallen down/up the stairs?

JESTINY: Uh, would it really boost morale for everyone to hear about their hero falling down the stairs? I’m very coordinated. Don’t fall on my ass that often.

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

JESTINY: No.

Wanted to disappear?

JESTINY: Yeah, the uh — bright red hair and general notoriety makes that difficult.

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Smile or eyes?

JESTINY: Let’s say smile.

Shorter or taller?

JESTINY: Definitely prefer shorter, but taller isn’t a dealbreaker. As long as I can still lift them.

Intelligence or attraction?

JESTINY: Depends on what we’re talkin’. Short term or long term? I mean I — [Short laugh.] I certainly don’t wanna fuckin’ accuse anyone I’ve been with in some sense of the word of necessarily being fucking intelligent.

WHEATY: [Laugh. Rustling noise.] Are you afraid you’ll hurt a listener’s feelings?

JESTINY: Of course fucking not, I — Next fucking question.

Hook-up or relationship?

JESTINY: Hook-up, at my current stage in life.

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

JESTINY: I don’t get to see any of them, that often.

WHEATY: Well, let’s say when did. How was your relationship with your family?

[Pause.]

WHEATY: [Sighs.] Let me guess, it was f —

JESTINY: Fine.

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

JESTINY: Whole fuckin’ county has a messed up life right now.

WHEATY: I want to talk about you, though.

JESTINY: A perfectly average level of messed up. Can’t complain.

Have you ever run away from home?

JESTINY: Not seriously.

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

JESTINY: Nope.

=FRIENDS=

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

JESTINY: Yes, but I won’t say who. Keep people on their toes.

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

JESTINY: Yeah, sure.

Who is your best friend?

JESTINY: Oh, that’s hard to pick, uh — Adelaide and I have fun together, and I’d say Mary May and I got pretty close there. Back when — back when I was spending a lot of time in Holland Valley. But, y’know — I’m not, anymore. [Pause.] But Mary May, if you’re listening, I — still consider us good friends.

WHEATY: [Whispering.] I told you, this is only broadcasting in the Whitetails.

JESTINY: [Whispering loudly.] Well people still might pass the fucking message along, right?

Who knows everything about you?

JESTINY: Ha. Nobody but me and god, and I don’t believe in god.

WHEATY: Then who knows the most about you?

JESTINY: [Short pause.] Around here?

WHEATY: Sure.

JESTINY: [Extremely long pause.] Mary May.

#i thought about setting it in actual america’s sweetheart universe but she would have been far less honest yet #it was not informative it was illuminating

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radiorenjun · 5 years ago

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I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: iv, v

You smiled as you saw Jaemin on the otherside as you opened the door to Jaemin’s room. Your parents always gathered to these monthly dinners at each other’s houses, so usually, Jaemin and you were given some free time to hang out as both your parents prepared dinner.

“Nana!” you exclaimed, pulling the taller boy into a hug. “I missed you,” you mumbled against his fluffy sweater, his scent filling your nostrils in an instant. “You saw me hours ago when we got smoothies,” he chuckled, reciprocating the hug nonetheless. You shrugged, your smile still evident and wide as you nuzzled your face against the soft fabric.

“I don’t care, I miss you nonetheless. You-” you were interrupted when Jaemin let out an awkward cough, ”Y/n.” He spoke sternly, knowing that you were gonna bring out the soulmate topic again. You look up at him with a cheeky smile, pulling away from the hug as you began to speak, “sorry, I mean, who knows? You could’ve changed your mind bout it in the past few hours.” you giggled, earning an eye roll from the boy in front of you who lets out an exasperated sigh.

You bit your lip slightly at his annoyed expression, trying to keep your usual bright smile stretched across your face. “Oh!” you exclaimed after a moment of silence, reaching a hand into your jacket pocket and pulling out a small wooden box. “Here,” you smiled, breaking the tension as you handed him the small box.

Jaemin’s frown lighten as he raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, gently taking the wooden box into his hands. “What’s this?” he asked as he slowly opened the box to see a photo of the two of you playing with some action figures and barbies when you were still in kindergarten, his expression lighten and a small smile stretched across his face at the sight as the memory of the two of you roleplaying with your toys came flashing through his mind.

Soft music came out of the small box, it appeared to be a cute music box with a small figure of a porcelain farm girl with red braided pig tails spinning around spinning around in the middle of the box. Jaemin lifted his gaze to your bright one, “it’s a music box, dumb ass.” you replied with a laugh. Jaemin chuckled, as the calming sound of moonlight sonata came out of the music box. He closed the box and turned it upside down to see the crank slowly twisting along with the music.

“I want you to have it,” you smiled bashfully, tugging on the sleeves of your jacket nervously. Jaemin lifted a brow, “me? Why?” he asked, frowning a bit. “Is it a crime to give you a gift?” you pouted, “why are you acting as if I hid a bomb inside of it? That’s a special music box, you know!” you spluttered once you saw his expression hardened. “Sure it is, that’s what you said bout the other unexpected presents you gave me.” he chuckled. “It was to convince you to keep it. Shut up, that music box actually means alot to me.” you pouted.

“If it means so much to you, then don’t give it to me.” Jaemin shook his head with a laugh, passing you your music box back. You frowned when you felt the wooden box handed to you. “But I want you to have it because you, too, mean a lot to me.” You pouted, causing Jaemin to let out an frustrated sigh.

He pushed the music box back to you. Before you could retort, you both heard Jaemin’s mom calling out for the both of you from the dining room. “Y/N! Jaemin! Dinner’s ready, come on down!” Jaemin didn’t spare you a glance as he started walking down the stairs, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of his room with your music box in hand.

You sighed, ignoring the pain in your chest as you took a deep breath, trying to maintain a bright smile on your face. You felt the soulmate mark on your wrist sting against your skin. You clenched your fist to try to convince your mind to numb the stinging sensation, taking a deep breath as the pain in your chest and wrist subsided. “Y/N? You up there?” your dad called out from downstairs. “Yeah, hold up!” you spluttered as you tucked the small music box inside your pocket before hurriedly jogging down the stairs.

"What took you so long?" your mother laughed as you descended down the steps and came into view from the dining table. You smiled, “sorry, I spaced out. What did I miss?” you walked to sit in between Jaemin and your mother. “Spaced out? Well that’s very unusual of you,” Jaemin’s mom chuckled as you let out an innocent shrug.

“I’ve been spacing out a lot lately,” you giggled as you began to eat the pasta presented before you in one of Mrs. Na’s prized china plates. “Give her a break, it is their senior year of highschool after all,” Jaemin's father laughed in amusement, “make sure you study hard, you two.”

Jaemin smiled, nodding. “Will do, dad” he responded with a grin. “Anyways, how was school today?” Mr. Na asked, putting his elbows on the table and intertwining his fingers together as he chewed. “You should ask Mr. Captain Of The Football Team.” you giggled, nudging Jaemin by the shoulder, causing Jaemin to let out an embarrassed groan. “Y/N...” he whined, burying his face in his palm, the other holding his fork as an embarrassed smile appeared on his face.

“What? My son? Captain of the Football Team? Jaemin, you didn’t tell us that!” Mr. Na exclaimed in awe. “Congratulations, my boy! Back in my day-” your dad started, making you let out a whine. "Dad, no,” you laughed, "please don't start one of your stories again!"

"Oh hush, you two love our stories!" your dad shook his head as Mr. Na and him began sharing stories of their youth. Explaining how he got hit by the ball when the school photographer accidentally turned on the camera flash during the game and bumped into Mr. Na in the middle of the game because of how bright the light was.

“Oh god.” Jaemin laughed, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as you clapped your hands in laughter at their stories. Both of your mothers shaking their heads and giggling along as they tried not to choke on their own foods as your dads acted out their stories dramatically.

“Anyways, I see you two are still getting along well. Tell me, Y/N, has my son finally accepted your undying love for him?” Mrs. Na asked curiously. Since that day on your 16th birthday, both your parents were hoping that Jaemin would let go of his dramatic ‘I don’t ever want a chosen soulmate’ idea and accept your love. But they were disappointed that Jaemin didn’t change his mind, they were quite happy at the fact that you were determined to convinced him otherwise.

What they didn’t know was it was starting to become a tough topic to talk about between the two of you. You were starting to grow tired of the ache in your chest whenever you get rejected, how you were clinging onto that little hope that Jaemin was just playing hard-to-get. But you didn’t want any of them knowing that your determination was wavering as Jaemin continues to reject you.

You bit your lip when Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, “Mom,” he whined. “What? Jaemin, it’s been two years. You should really drop this ‘no soulmate’ nonsense. Your father and I are clearly ecstatic that Y/N has a possibility of being my daughter-in-law.” Mrs. Na spoke in a stern tone. “Give the boy some time, Y/N is still as determined as ever.” your mother patted your head with a smile.

You let out a forced smile, obviously feeling uncomfortable with how awkward the conversation was going. “Jaemin, you should really stop rejecting Y/N so much. Poor girl has been waiting for years, for Gods sake.” Mr. Na laughed. “Mr. Na, don’t say that. I'm still eager as ever to keep trying, he is my soulmate after all.” you smiled, not noticing how grim Jaemin’s glare had gotten as the conversation progressed.

"I'll never stop trying." you grinned, "I'm never giving up til Jaemin reciprocates my feelings." Both of your parents laughed at your eagerness, oblivious to how Jaemin was basically bout to burst with annoyance and frustration and how fake your facade was.

Once you stopped speaking, you felt your heart sank once again. His eyes refused to meet yours as he fumbled with his food idly, listening to the conversation with his blood boiling in his veins, causing you to grow anxious. His fingers gripping the utensils so hard, you were surprised they weren't bent.

You bit your lip before you slowly stood up, quickly mumbling that you needed to go to the restroom. You quickly walked away to avoid Jaemin’s dark eyes, quickly entering the bathroom upstairs, locking the door and slide your back down against it as you felt tears stinging your eyes.

You held a deep breath and tried to swallow the lump in your throat. You bit your lip as you pulled the music box out of your pocket, turning the crank before opening the box to hear the serene sound being produced on a continuous loop.

Your breathing calmed down gradually before a knock was elicited from the door. You flinched in surprise at the sudden sound, you quickly stood up and took a second to look at your reflection at the mirror to check if you look presentable enough to walk out. You shut the music box and tucked it behind you as you opened the door to be met with the dark angered eyes of none other than Na Jaemin.

“Nana?” you raised your brow in confusion. “What are you-” you were cut off when Jaemin’s fingers were suddenly wrapped around your wrist. “We need to fucking talk, now.” he growled as he quietly pulled you into his room.

Jaemin pulled you into his room angrily, shutting the door behind him and locking it to prevent your parents from invading. "What was that all bout?" he exclaimed angrily, a slight growl evident in his deep voice.

"What are you talking bout?" you raised your brow, tugging on the sleeves of your hoodie nervously as Jaemin continued. "Don't act dumb! You know what you were doing with all that soulmate talk! 'I'll never stop trying', what the fuck, y/n?!" he barked. "You know how much it pisses me off when you talk bout it."

"Me? They started the conversation, Nana!" you retorted, brows furrowed in response. "Still, you went with it." Jaemin ran a hair through his hair in frustration, "went with it? Okay, yes, I said something but it was to make your parents happy! I thought if I just agreed what they said they would stop talking bout you re-"

"Well you were wrong, okay? You have no idea how it feels to have your parents constantly nagging and telling you what to do and what not to do!" Jaemin barked, his voice getting deeper as his eyes darkened even more. His fists were clenched as the sight of the bright smiley boy was no more as of now.

" 'Oh Jaemin, you shouldn't reject y/n so much. You're actually going to make her give up on you sooner or later'" he mimicked in a high-pitched tone, words spewing out of his mouth uncontrollably in anger as he vented out his frustrations on you.

"'Jaemin, just accept the poor girl's feelings. You should just accept that she's your soulmate before you realise it's too late'" you felt your chest clench with every word. You didn't know he was always pushed by his parents like this.

"'Jaemin, give y/n a chance. Don't reject her all the time, you two are best friends remember.'" he growled, his eyes never meeting yours as he tugged on the strands of his hair in frustration. "I'm sick and tired of it, y/n!" he yelled, eyes filled with fury coming to meet your terrified ones.

"I'm sick and tired of being constantly reminded that I'm bound to be soulmates with someone I didn't chose to love." He continued, pulling on his sleeves to reveal the black mark that caused this entire mess. Your heart felt like crying out, you knew tears were slowly dripping from your eyes but you made a quick move to wipe them off with your sleeves.

"I'm sick and tired of you constantly forcing me and telling me things just because we have the same stupid mark! You don't know what it's like when people tell you how to feel!" he tugged down his sleeve angrily before taking a big step towards you.

You held your breath, trying to stay strong before Jaemin's eyes bore into yours coldly. His finger poking your forehead, right above the space between your eyes. "It's so fucking annoying to have your own best friend nag and whine every single day of your life bout how she's your soulmate."

"Its exhausting to be with someone who's so whiny and pushy. No matter how many times I fucking turn you down as gently as possible you're stubborn self couldn't see how annoying this whole thing is." he spat, his voice laced with venom as you look down, avoiding his cold stare.

You felt your chest tighten with every passing second, you felt like you were bout to burst. Your heart was crying out, begging and pleading to be freed from its pain. Practically saying, 'please let it out. It hurts. It hurts so much.'

"I'm sick and tired of you not leaving me alone. I don't like you like that, and I never fucking will. Get that through your thick skull, y/n." he hissed in your face. You bit your lip when he took a few steps back, the mark on your left wrist burning against your skin. Yet the physical pain wasn't enough to conquer the emotional pain in your chest.

Your heartbeat quicken as you took a deep breath, pulling out the music box in your pocket before handing it to him. "Can you at least keep this? I want you to have it." you sniffled, wiping your tears as best as you could as you tried to keep your voice steady. Nonetheless you hated yourself for sounding so weak and fragile at that moment.

This didn't faze Jaemin however, the anger in his eyes just continued to blind his vision with fury. He didn't know what came over him, but Jaemin pushed the wooden box out of your hand with a grunt, letting it fall to the floor. It's delicate thin parts breaking to pieces.

You gasped, flinching at the sound of wood and twine hitting the floor. You were surprised your parents hadn't come up yet, you look up in shock at the boy who was glaring at you emotionlessly. "I mean it, y/n." he spoke in a bold, cold tone.

You stared at what's left of the precious wooden music box, the small paper that is your childhood photograph poking out in between the pieces of broken wood. You took a deep breath before walking out of Jaemin's room, feeling something get stuck to the soles of your shoes.

You jogged down the steps of stairs, trying to keep your tears in. You felt like your heart had been crushed into pieces just like the music box. Your chest was aching badly, your wrist was burning and you just want to go home, curl up in your blanket and cry.

You needed to get out of there before you break. You knew you can't hold the pieces of your mask together anymore, and you weren't about to use the same broken mask over and over again anymore.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Mrs. Na's voice spoke behind you as you were about to open the entrance door. "Uh," you tried to sound casual with your tone but your weak voice gave it away. "I just remembered I had an essay to finish." you lied through your teeth, knowing you'd get a scolding by your parents later for leaving so abruptly.

"It's a really really long essay," you smiled, sparing the woman a short glance. "Dinner was amazing, Mrs. Na. Good night." you bit your lip to try to make your act last a little bit longer. "Are you sure? Honey, did something happen-" she tried again but you quickly turn the door knob and opened the door.

"Everything's just peachy, Mrs. Na." you smiled, not giving the poor woman another glance as you closed the door in front of her. Ignoring the cold breeze that hits your skin as you ran home, quickly finding the key under your rug and unlocking it.

You tossed the key onto the table beside the door and ran upstairs to your room. You were thankful that Jaemin's curtains were covering your view of him, but nonetheless you pulled your own curtains just for safety measure.

A moment of deafening silence met your ears as you felt your heartbeat in your ears, your eyes finally flooding with tears as you let out loud sobs. You collapsed onto your bed, putting a hand over your eyes to somehow stop the tears that were flowing uncontrollably, your other hand clutching the hoodie over your aching chest.

Ugly cries echoed through your room as you continued to break down. Jaemin's words repeating themselves in your head over and over again. You knew that this day would eventually come, you kept telling yourself to be prepared for the intense pain at this exact moment.

But why does it still hurt so bad?

Why does it still-

"Calling Renjun." a familiar monotonous voice appeared out of the blue. You sat up, sniffling, moving to see that you had been sitting under your phone that was now calling Renjun.

You gasped, "wait, shit, no!" fidgeting to hang up the call before he answers but unfortunately it was too late, he had already picked up the call. "Hello? Y/n?" his soft voice greeted through your phone speakers.

"Renjun, I'm so sorry, I sat on my phone and I think it accidentally-" you spluttered, choking on your words as you tried to hide the fact that you were sobbing your eyes out a second ago. "Wait, are you crying?"

That seemed to silence you. But a hiccup elicited from you gave him his answer, "no? Why would I be crying?" you shook your head, a sob coming out of your throat at the end of your sentence as your heart clenched once again.

"Y/n, it's okay. I'm here. Tell me what happened."

IM SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED, IVE BEEN BUSY DJSKSBSBB

#nct x reader #i don't need it #jaemin x you #nct jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin #nct wayv #nct angst #nct fic #nct x you #nct dream x reader #nct dream x you #nct dream jaemin #nct dream #na jaemin x reader #nct dream jaemin x reader

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silverandarsenic-hcs · 5 years ago

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Could you please please please! Do Papas/cardiac and ghouls reacting to S/O being nervous to do anything because their trans, or coming out to them? (FTM and MTF)

First post in a long time and it’s not even my work! This is something @solofreakk answered for us FOREVER ago that I never even go around to pressing the 8 buttons to post it. How absolutely lazy can I be. But please enjoy (-kat)

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*cracks my knuckles* alright Oingos and Boingos and Those Who Are Neither i’m gonna do my best at this as a trans/nonbinary guy but i definitely don’t speak for everyone’s experiences, so… if you don’t like this i apologize. I want everyone to be supportive of you so if they sound repetitive I’m sorry! And I apologize in advance for not including MTF :( I just feel like trans women and men can have some similar experiences but in the end I don’t think it’s my place to write for them. If there are any trans women out there writing stuff for Ghost i would say Please Shamelessly Shout Yourselves Out In The Replies Ladies.

Papa I: He’s a bit too old for most activities that would reveal you being trans imo. A pride parade is too crazy for him, he doesn’t have the energy to go to the pool or something. If you did he’d just lay there in the sun with a ghoul waiting to open an umbrella when he’s about to start getting too crisp. So if you didn’t go swimming, or take your shirt off, it literally would not raise any questions. He’s not in the water. He might make an offhand comment about how you should enjoy yourself but you could very easily tell him you’d prefer to be sitting with him, and you melting his old man heart like that kills any other question he might’ve even had. If you do end up explaining it to him later, he kindly reminds you there’s nothing wrong with knowing who you are. Encourages you to feel comfortable around him, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are because of your past. No further questions asked. You can say what you’d like about yourself but he won’t press or get in your business.

Papa II: This man is totally comfortable with nudity. You being opposite is… weird. He’ll ask. Are you insecure? You can say it’s something like that. He’ll be able to tell that you’re kind of dodging the question and he’ll leave it alone. But you’ve piqued his curiosity now. He’s gonna watch you just a little bit closer than he did before. He’ll suggest you guys take a swim, or go to the beach, and when you shoot that down too, he’ll ask. “Is there a reason why?” You can try to make excuses, or be vague, or say a half-truth, but those mismatched eyes see right through you. He probably already knows. When you ask him if he does, he’ll just wrap you in a nice strong Papa II Rare Tender Hug™. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, you know. It’s okay to decide you’re not what everyone said you were. It’s part of becoming your own person.” Would probably be more bold in asking what your future plans are for yourself. Later on quietly reminds you not to bind for too long, or helps you with shots, or is making sure you’re laid up in luxury if you get top surgery. Supports you even if you’re gnc and don’t bind or don’t plan to transition and would impart his death glare upon anyone who dared to misgender you or treat you poorly.

Papa III: Hope no one shoots me down for saying “Papa III trans man” but *eyes emoji*. He’s gonna recognize your behavior immediately. You sweat at the idea of going to the pool or the beach, you don’t wanna change in front of him, you get nervous if someone calls you pretty instead of handsome. He’ll see you very very discreetly tugging at your binder, or taking deep breaths. And he just knows. And he’s elated. He’s like “OH I AM GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL SO HANDSOME.” Immediately deploys plan “Compliment Anon ‘Til He Dies”. He’s telling you that your hair looks great today, your laugh is so masculine, I love the way your arms look, That shirt is so handsome on you, I’m lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. Anything it takes to have you know how great you are. If you’re busy melting over the compliments, you might not immediately realize he’s caught on. You’ll probably think he’s just doing his regular Papa III schmoozing. Eventually, it clicks in your head. He’s lauding on you ‘cause he knows. So because he seems so cool with it, you finally work up the nerve to tell him. And he smiles at you and he’s taking his shirt off and whoa whoa WHOA HEY IT’S WORK HOURS MAN- oh. Oh. I see. That’s why. He buttons his shirt back up and pats you on the head and asks if you wanna get top surgery too, and if you say yes he’s literally writing you a check on the spot. He wants you to feel as comfortable in your body as he does in his and if you have any dysphoria woes he is all ears. He’s seriously like ride or die for you bro.

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV: He thinks your nervous behavior is totally normal, only because he is also nervous all the time. So he doesn’t even read into it. He’s totally clueless. You don’t wanna go swimming? Okay, yeah, actually he doesn’t really want to do it either. He’s pale, he’d just get burnt. Let’s stay inside all day in our pajamas. You don’t wanna put your pajamas on in front of him? That is also ok, hell let’s change in different rooms. You don’t even have to explain yourself, he just Gets It™. Eventually if you start wondering why he hasn’t asked about your odd behavior, you’ll just ask him. “Did you notice that I’m kinda… weird, about some stuff?” He’ll say he’s weird about stuff too, why should he pry into your personal business? So you press on and tell him you’re trans. You don’t want anyone else to know, for a myriad of reasons. You might start rambling about it, complaining about stuff, talking about what you want. And he’ll just… listen. Nod sometimes to let you know he’s hearing you, and you can keep going if you want. Finally you’ll end it with an exasperated and maybe slightly embarrassed sigh, but before you can apologize he’s pulling you into a hug. You are free to talk about it as much as you want, especially if you don’t tell anyone else. You’ve got all this stuff weighing on your mind and no one to vent it to, and he’s flattered you finally felt comfortable enough to let him know something so personal.

Dewdrop: Dare I say it… I headcanon Dewdrop as trans too… He’s much more like me though, feisty and kinda gnc. Like III, he’s gonna catch onto your behavior immediately. He’s not gonna make any moves to let you know that he knows, though. Just quietly be in your corner. Well, as quiet as Dew gets. He’s gonna… violently be in your corner. If he finds out someone misgendered you or committed some related act he considers a heinous crime, they’re losing some teeth. He’ll take a chunk out of them if someone isn’t there to rein him in. Eventually when you confide in him that you’re trans, he’s telling you that’s cool. You ask him why he’s so chill about it and he’s just smirking at you. “What…?” You ask. “Seriously, what? Why- ooohhh…” You’re free to not bind around him because most of the time, he doesn’t. He’s not gonna judge you for anything. Whether you wanna be traditionally masculine or be lax about gender norms, he’s gonna tell you you’re cool as Hell no matter what. Admires your courage in coming out to him and will take your secret to the grave.

Aether: First may I start this off by saying I may or may not have asked Aether, like irl, if he said “trans rights”. To which Aether kindly and genuinely said, “Does [Aether] say “trans rights”? Of course trans rights!” So there you have it Fosters and Peoples. Mr. Quintessential Ghoul himself did indeed say trans rights and I’ve never been happier to have asked someone that. I digress… He’s not gonna focus too much on odd behavior or nerves. It’s not because he’s got his head in the clouds, it’s just because this is a Judgement Free Zone™. If and/or when you come out to him, expect him to say, “Hell yeah, you do what’s right for you!” He’s got your back. If you want help with something, say an outfit or you need a new binder, he’s gonna help you figure it out. If you ask him not to tell anyone else, his lips are sealed.

Mountain: He is so used to being taller than everyone else so if you’re a short king (like me 5’3 man gang rise up [but not too high]) that does not make him ask any questions. He’s also out of your business when it comes to how you dress, or messing with your shirt, or not wanting to do certain activities, etc. He just… it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s that he’s chill about everything. So chill in fact that eventually one day you just casually mention it. And he’s like, “Neat, you have lore.” Which is hilarious. He’s probably likely to ask if you’re making sure not to wear your binder for too long. He wants you to take good care of yourself, y’know, you’re really cool and you should treat your body kindly. He’ll ask if anyone else knows and if you tell him you’d rather they not find out immediately, he’s already giving you a thumbs up and making sure any question directed at your gender is immediately shot down.

Swiss: Swiss is too focused on having a good time and being good to everyone who deserves kindness to worry about why or why not you don’t want to go to the pool with them. You’ve got your reasons and that’s enough, although he’ll sorely miss you because he could use the extra help in fending Dew off in the water gun fight that most definitely will end in bloodshed if Aether doesn’t step in. Eventually he’ll convince you to maybe go, but not before you cave and tell him you can’t be seen with your shirt off. He’s smart enough to know what that means. No worries! And you know what? In solidarity he just won’t take his off, either. Will support you regardless of how you choose to present yourself and will sometimes casually gift you a new shirt or something, “because I think you’d look really handsome in it.”

Rain: Tender boy. He literally would not pry or push you to tell him anything you didn’t seem like you wanted to say. If you come out to him, that’s completely on your terms. I think he might eventually have a feeling, but he’s not going to make assumptions about you and will let you tell him when you’re ready, and even if you never do, that’s ok too. When you do tell him, he’s completely supportive and won’t make you feel any less of a man about yourself. Is a bit sad to know that you may struggle with dysphoria and he wants you to know that you’re a wonderful person, inside and out, even if you don’t always see it.

Cirrus: She notices your odd behavior, but she’s polite and chooses not to say anything about it. She doesn’t want to make you feel like she’s judging you or scare you or make you uncomfortable. She probably doesn’t flat out make assumptions about you, but she does think about it occasionally. Eventually when you come out to her, she completely understands. Sings her praises about how nice it is that you trust her enough to tell her something so personal about yourself, and says she’s thankful to have such a great person in her life. Also she’s always been your protective mom friend, but if you need anyone to get punched for saying anything transphobic, just let her know. Mama bear has got you. Mama bear has got claws. Hell, Cumulus will even help beat someone up. She doesn’t even need to know the reason. If Cirrus is verbally or physically abusing someone that’s good enough reason for her. You now have two powerful and protective mom friends, use this power for good.

Cumulus: She’s not gonna notice if you’re acting nervous or weird about anything. She’s focused on hanging out with you and having a good time and making sure you’re having a good time and that fun things are happening. If you go to the beach and don’t take your shirt off, not weird. Neither of you are even in the water, you’re probably making an impressive sand castle on top of a sleeping Mountain. If you’re at the pool, she’s okay with sitting on the side talking your ear off about anything under the sun (which currently includes all the other ghouls as it was a family trip to the pool). She wouldn’t notice if you tugged at your binder or had a higher voice or anything someone might think would be conspicuous. If and/or when you eventually come out to her, she’s like “Ooohhh, okay!” And honestly? She might forget. And then remember. And then forget again, and remember again. It’s just another thing about you, like your hair colour or what music you like. Doesn’t make you any less wonderful to her, and wouldn’t change anything about your relationship.

- @solofreakk

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 6 years ago

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Baby Love - Part 2

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Badly written Smut happens in this part!

A/N - Read More wont work sorry!

After much consideration it was agreed that Chris would be my sperm doner, we decided it would be best to do it through the clinic so that things didn't get weird with us. Disclaimers were signed by the clinic to protect Chris, we didn't want this getting out to the public/press. The actual procedure was over in a couple of minutes and then i just had to lay there for half hour, Chris stayed with me the whole time making me laugh and keeping me distracted, he was amazing! Then we just had to wait, they said we'd know in 6-12 days whether or not i was pregnant but advised to wait 2 weeks.

Today was day 14 and i was sat on my sofa with Chris holding my hand while we waited for the pregnancy test to tell us if we were pregnant or not.

"You know if your not its not a big deal, we can try again"

"You leave again Friday, we'd have to wait til your done. Thats gonna be another few months...."

"We'll make it work, i can fly you out and we can find another clinic...." he started to say until the alarm on his phone went off and i reached out for the test, as i flipped it over i felt my heart break a little at the negative result.

"Its negative" i told him sadly before covering my face with my hands as i cried. Chris pulled me into his arms straight away, my face pressed to his chest as i cried.

"Sshhh its okay" i could hear him saying, his voice slightly mumbled against the top of my head.

"Maybe I'm just not supposed to be a mom, i should just accept that this isn't meant to happen for me"

"Hey! Dont say that! This will happen, ok? This was just the first try, these things take time" he said moving back so he could look at me, his hands cradling my face as his thumb brushed away my tears.

"I don't have time Chris thats the problem" i replied sadly.

The next thing i know Chris is kissing me! And it doesn't feel weird.... or wrong.

I kiss him back my hands tugging his hair making him moan into my mouth. He lays me down on the sofa without breaking the kiss, his body resting between my legs like its the most natural thing for us to do. He starts rubbing his hips against me and i can feel how hard he is through his jeans and i want him, i moan at the feeling of him rubbing himself against my clothed pussy. Reaching up i grab his belt and start to unbuckle it, he finally sits back and looks at me as if checking I'm sure about this, i nod quickly and he free's himself from his jeans and boxers before reaching down and pulling off my shorts & panties. When i finally get a look at him my eyes go wide.....his cock is huge! The biggest ive ever had inside me and my stomach flips at the thought of what it will feel like. Chris leans back down and kisses me again as my hands wander under his t-shirt before tugging it off, he pulls off my shirt and bra tossing them behind him somewhere. His hands are grabbing and massaging my breasts as he rocks his hips against mine, his cock sliding through my slick pussy. I reach down taking hold of him and line him up with my entrance, i just needed him inside me. He pushes in and lets out the most beautiful moan ive ever heard in my life!!

"Mmmm oh fuck.... you feel like fucking heaven!.... so tight" he mumbles as he starts to thrust in and out of my tight wet pussy.

"Shit Chris..... ahhhhh" i moan grabbing his ass and pulling him closer if thats even possible "dont stop!"

"Does that feel good?"

"So fucking good! fuck me harder, i can take it" i moan as he kisses and sucks on my neck. He sits back and looks down at me, his eyes on my breasts and then he grabs my hips and does what i asked, he fucks me harder, faster while watching my breasts bounce with every thrust.

"Ah fuck I'm gonna cum.... your squeezing my cock so tight!" He said before i felt his thumb press agaisnt my clit and start rubbing quickly until i felt myself let go... i practically screamed as my orgasm hit and Chris was groaning as his hips kept pumping, he threw his head back as i felt him release inside me. He slowly came to a stop but i could feel his cock still twitching inside me as he rested his head against my shoulder trying to catch his breath. I run my fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss against his neck as i tried to catch my own breath.

"Wow" i heard him say quietly in my ear and started laughing "why haven't we been doing that before".

"Maybe because we're best friends"

"Right" he nodded "only i don't usually do this kinda thing with my friends"

"Me either"

"I mean I'm not sure if you've realised but my cock is still inside you right now..."

"Oh I'm well aware!" I said with a laugh that must have made me tense up because Chris gasped and bit down on my shoulder.

"Jesus christ woman!"

"Sorry my bad, we should probably get cleaned up and put some clothes on"

"If you insist" he carefully disconnected himself from me making me groan.

"Chris...."

"This doesn't have to be a bad thing. It didn't feel wrong to me at all..... it felt right" he says already knowing that i was going to be worried about what we do now.

"Im not saying its a bad thing or that it felt wrong...."

"So you agree that it felt right, right?"

"Yeah but is now the time to be doing this?? Chris i cant loose you, i honestly don't think id be able to survive without you in my life. It was already a risk trying to get pregnant and now this.... plus your leaving again Friday"

"So how about we take some time to think about it, wait until im back, then we can give this a go if we still think its for the best" he suggested "but we promise no matter what we stay friends"

"Its not that easy once sex is involved" i said getting up and pulling his tshirt on quickly "i mean how can you say no to this now you know how heavenly it is inside me" i teased as i headed towards the bathroom.

"Oh your gonna get it woman!" He laughed running after me still naked as the day he born.

Friday came around quickly and i drove Chris to the airport and went in with him to say goodbye.

"Okay be careful! And kick some ass" i smiled up at him making him laugh.

"I will, i'll call everyday. It'll be like i never left, you'll soon get sick of me"

"I could never get sick of you Evan's"

He pulled me into a hug kissing my head "we'll talk properly when i get back"

"Yeah" i nodded knowing he meant about us "dont go meeting any new guys while im gone"

"There's only one guy for me, Dodger has my heart you know that" i chuckled against Chris's chest.

"Your a dork" He laughed taking a step back to get a look at me "But your my dork"

"You bet your ass i am" i smiled up at him, he leant forward pressing his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"Im gonna miss you"

"I'll miss you too. You better get going though your already cutting it fine and they wont wait for you"

"I know but its just so hard to say goodbye to you" he pouted like a sulking child and squeezed my hand.

"Go! We'll Skype tonight"

"Okay fine" after another quick kiss he grabbed his carry on and went through the check point.

@jennmurawski13

#steve x reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans #babylove #friendstolovers

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d3-iseefire · 6 years ago

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Belated Writing Wednesday

Really Belated Writing Wednesday! SO this was a story I started months ago and hadn’t finished. It’s finished now, and is long enough to be about a four chapter long fic SO I’m gonna post a chapter a day til the fic goes away. :D :D

Little Warning: This fic gets pretty intense later on so please keep in mind that it’s still me writing it which means it’s still T Rated, No Archive Warnings and a Happy Ending. :)

For those who watch the show Supernatural, Sam and Dean make a cameo but the story is mainly about Bilba and Fili.

Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy! Chapter 2 will be up tomorrow (on AO3). I’m not going to post each chapter on here, I don’t think, but I’ll post something letting you all know it’s up.

In the meantime, here’s the link what will eventually be the full story on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702031/chapters/51764428

Bilba met Fili on a rainy January evening when she was six and he was eight. The rain had left her stuck inside, and she'd been slowly going stir crazy. Her foster mother had turned the lights down to put a movie on and, while the other children were engrossed, Bilba took the opportunity to sneak out to go exploring.

She headed straight to the basement.

None of the kids were allowed down there and she could just imagine the looks of awe she would receive from the others when she regaled them with tales of her adventure.

Tragically, what she found were boxes, and dust. Lots and lots of dust that tickled her nose and sent her into a violent sneezing fit.

When she'd finally recovered, she’d looked up to see a young boy staring at her suspiciously from the other side of the room.

Fili, as he’d introduced himself, had snuck in to look for monsters. The way he said it, all serious and solemn, nearly made Bilba laugh but she managed to control herself and simply nod back with what, she hoped, was an equal level of gravity.

She could understand where he'd gotten the idea. The home she had been placed in was in an apartment building, five stories with a stone exterior stained dark in places by the passing of years. In wintertime the leaves died off which left the trees spindly and creepy and, at night cheap lightbulbs caused an otherworldly orange light to shine from the windows.

Bilba thought the place had a ghost, and she lived there.

She’d ended up helping Fili look because it sounded like fun (even though he continued to insist it was very serious) and, together, the two hunted through boxes and searched shadowy corners for any evidence of ghosts, ghouls or other assorted monstrosities.

It had been nearly an hour later that her foster mother found them, along with a tall, dark haired intimidating man that turned out to be Fili’s uncle. Fili had been dragged off, while Bilba had been sent to her room for the evening for sneaking away and making everyone worry.

That might well have been the end of it, if it hadn’t been for Fili showing up a few days later to see if she wanted to play. This time he’d been dropped off by a different, just as intimidating, man Fili had introduced as Dwalin.

Dwalin had left and she and Fili had spent the entire afternoon running about playing. This had been followed by a similar afternoon the next day, as well as the one after that and the one after that. It was nearly five days later, in fact, before Dwalin had arrived to take Fili away again.

Bilba had cried for hours.

Two weeks later and he was suddenly back again, this time with a younger brother named Kili in tow. They'd stayed for only two days this time; and then it was another week before they arrived again.

It became a normal, if irregular, occurrence after that for both of them to be dropped off. Her foster mother explained that she and Fili's uncle were old friends, and she watched his nephews while he was away on business trips.

Fili insisted that his family was off fighting monsters, and they knew her foster mother because they'd once saved her from one.

Bilba didn't really believe him but had to admit his story was more interesting than the one her foster mother told.

As they grew older she grew closer to both of them, but her bond with Fili was always a little bit deeper than it was with Kili. When they were gone, Bilba spent most of her time sitting at her bedroom window waiting for him -- them to come back.

Fili began to visit more often, not always with Kili, and not always times where he had to stay. His family lived in a small, rundown house on the edge of town, and he’d ride an old battered bike in to spend the day with her.

On Bilba’s eight birthday, Fili and his family showed up to take her out for dinner. It was the first time she'd felt like part of a family, just like any other kid out with their parents and siblings to celebrate. The restaurant staff had given her a free cupcake with a cheap, plastic eight that she'd carefully preserved and hidden away for safety.

Later, Bilba got permission to go with Fili and his uncle on outings, sometimes to that rundown house on the edge of town, other times to the movies or the park or mall. Once, they all went to the beach and she got to see the ocean for the very first time.

She got to know them all. Fili of course, and his uncle, and then Kili. There was also Dwalin and a host of other people who came in and out at various times. Many of them were quite serious and had a tendency to brood, but they were always very kind to her.

She never met Fili and Kili's parents. The one time she'd asked, Fili had gotten sad and simply told her they were gone.

Fili's family seemed to get hurt a lot, often sporting bandages or favoring arms or legs, but she was always waved off when she tried to ask what had happened. Fili and Kili never got hurt. He said it was because he wasn’t old enough to hunt monsters yet and, as always, Bilba simply nodded and accepted it. She’d learned long ago not to be a bother. When you were a bother, people didn’t want you. She didn’t ask silly questions or raise her voice and she certainly didn’t go anywhere near the many weapons they told her to stay away from.

In addition to them, Bilba also got to meet Tauriel. She was a friend of Kili's and, when she visited, she spent a lot of time sharpening her own weapons. She was Fili’s age but, as he always complained, her family let her hunt. She rarely ever got hurt. When Bilba asked why, Tauriel said it was because she knew when to duck.

Fili got his first knife when she was eleven and he was thirteen. Soon after, Bilba stopped seeing him as often. Instead of being left behind while his uncle and Dwalin went on their trips (to hunt monsters as Fili always insisted) he went with them. Kili still came to stay sometimes, but it wasn't the same for either of them and he soon stopped.

It was around this time that the doubt first started to creep in.

She supposed it came from watching the other kids around her come and go. Mostly go. There always seemed to be people looking for a little boy or girl to come and complete their family.

No one ever asked to meet her.

She didn’t know why. Maybe she wasn't pretty enough or smart enough or a thousand different things. In the end, all that mattered was she simply wasn't enough. No one wanted her. As time passed, a small voice inside her head began trying to convince her that Fili and his family didn't want her either.

Sure, they took her out, but they always brought her back. Always turned and drove away. Off on their business trips for days, or even weeks, at a time. Without her.

They never offered to adopt her, never even seemed to consider it.

Some of the other kids taunted her for it.

Sometimes that voice inside her head taunted her too.

Maybe, it would say, she’d never been anything more than a built-in playmate to keep Fili and his brother busy and out of his uncle's hair.

Maybe they thought she was annoying even though she tried her hardest not to be. Maybe they only tolerated her. Maybe Fili thought she was annoying but was too nice to get rid of her or maybe they thought of her as nothing more than an irritating little girl who couldn’t take a hint.

Maybe they were just waiting for her to go away.

The thoughts got louder as she got older, particularly once her eighteenth birthday started to become less of a far-off concept and more of a rapidly approaching reality. She couldn’t stay in the home once she turned eighteen. She’d have to move out, find a job and place to stay.

She'd be all on her own.

When she was three months from her eighteenth birthday and he was well into his twentieth year, Fili got hurt for the first time. Really hurt. He'd been hurt before, ever since he started going away on those business trips with his uncle, but it had never been more than a few cuts and bruises or, once, a broken arm.

This time he came home unconscious and pale, with blood still staining his neck and soaking through his shirt in a bigger pool than she’d ever seen. His breathing had been shallow, and his pulse been so slow she almost couldn’t feel it.

His entire chest had been wrapped in heavy bandages and she knew he should be in the hospital, hooked up to all manner of machines and tubes, but instead they put him in his bed and set up a crappy old IV pump that they’d stolen at the same time they’d snuck him out of the hospital he should have been in.

It was the first time Bilba had gotten mad at them.

It was the first time she’d yelled.

It was the first time they’d yelled back.

She’d threatened to call the police, and they’d threatened to take Fili and leave...and never come back.

Bilba would always remember the cutting pain as those words had lanced right through her. She'd reeled back as if they'd physically struck her and, in many ways, they had.

Kili had shouted at his uncle, while Dwalin had ordered them all to shut up and, through it all, Bilba had simply...stood there.

She hadn't moved until their uncle had stalked from the room and slammed the door behind him. Kili had tried to talk to her but Bilba had simply shaken her head. She’d gone and stretched out on the bed next to Fili...and stayed there.

For days.

For weeks.

No one from her foster home came looking for her.

It had taken three days for Kili to convince her to eat, and then only because he’d threatened to have Dwalin drag her from the room if she didn’t. After that, Bilba had made sure to eat, and shower and do what she was supposed to do.

She did it by rote.

She did it in silence because if there was one thing she now knew with utter certainty it was that while she couldn't live without Fili and his family, they could certainly live without her.

Life could be unfair that way sometimes.

Fili took two and a half weeks to wake up, and it would be weeks more before every moment of that waking wasn’t spent in agony.

Bilba stayed with him the entire time, even later when he was mostly healed, and the rest of the family started their business trips again.

She finally asked Fili what happened.

He told her it was monsters.

Something inside her had snapped. She'd screamed at him and, for the first time since they'd met, Fili had realized she'd never believed him about the monsters.

The fight that followed was the biggest they’d ever had, mostly on her end. All of it suddenly came pouring out. The horrible voice in her head, her anxiety over her eighteenth birthday, the gut churning terror she’d felt as she’d watched over him and begged him not to leave her.

At some point he’d stopped and simply listened to her, eyes wide. Bilba had wanted to stop, had told herself to stop, to just simply shut up, please shut up, for the love of god, just shut up.

Don’t be a problem.

Don’t make his life harder.

Don’t get in the way.

He won’t want you anymore.

None of them will.

They'll leave and then where will you be?

Alone.

That's where.

She couldn’t seem to stop, however, and by the end of it her voice was hoarse, and her eyes were swollen and puffy, and she was shaking so hard it was a wonder she didn’t collapse.

She’d run from the house before he could tell her that he hated her. When he'd tried to visit she'd refused to see him, and when her phone had rung with the ringtone she'd set for him she'd turned it off.

Eventually he'd stopped trying, and she’d finally learned the answer to the question she’d always been too afraid to ask.

It had been an illusion.

A myth.

A pleasant dream she’d used to pass the time until she was forced to face reality.

No one wanted her, and no one ever would.

Read the Rest Here As It’s Posted: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702031/chapters/51764428

#Writing Wednesday #Belated #Writing #My Writing #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Supernatural #LOTR #The Hobbit #Hobbit #Fili #Female Bilbo Baggins #Sam Winchester Cameo #Dean Winchester Cameo

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lovelyrocker · 6 years ago

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Love Is Blind Ch.24

~ RPF

~ Characters: Jensen Ackles, Lexi Ackles(OFC), Jared Padalecki, Jesse(OMC), Bethany(OFC), Dr. Turner(OFC)

~ Pairings: Jared x Lexi(Sorta,kinda)

~ Warnings: Talk of Suicide, Talk of Alcohol abuse and Drug abuse, Slight Smut, Angst(of course), Mental Health Situations,

~ Word Count:7,288

~ Un Beta’d - All Mistakes are my Own

~ *FEEDBACK IS GOLD*

Love Is Blind Masterlist

<Previous Chapter

Lexi had been in the hospital for going on seventy two hours. Other than the four hours Jared had left to clean up and try to sleep, Jared didn’t leave Lexi’s side. Between the blood loss an overdose, alcohol poisoning and her heart stopping, her body was going to need more time to recover. When Lexi woke she’d worked herself into a panic attack in Jared’s arms. Out of fear of putting stress on her already delicate heart,the nurses came in and sedated her in a mess of of rushed apologies and greetings of relief and tears.

Lexi’s anxiety took over the minute she saw the bandages on her wrists, giving her a short lived calmness of seeing Jared. The realization of what she had done smashed into her like an anvil. She was filled with sadness and regret that she’d been so stupid. She wanted to apologies but couldn’t speak. He throat was raw and every sound felt like needles.

The next twenty four hours Lexi woke underwent dozens of tests. Neurological, to make sure her brain function was normal. Physical, to see how she was about to function. But most importantly, psychiatric. She spoke with a Psychiatrist for a bit, not saying much. She was still groggy through most of it and her body hurting from being shocked after her heart stopped.

Lexi was sedated again, resting, while Jared and Jensen sat diligently at her bedside. “You’ve been here for a while. Go home and get some rest.” Jensen told Jared.

“I’m good.”

“Jare,”

“Jay, I’m fine.”

“Go home, see your kids, eat, sleep.” Jesen lifted a hand when Jared went to protest. “Don’t even. Doctor said she’ll be out til the morning, at least.” He looked down at his watch. “It’s nine pm. Go. I got this for the night.”

“Promise me that you will call if she wakes up?”

“You know I will.” Jensen assure his friend.

It was eleven PM now. Jared stopped by Genevieve’s t see the kids for a bit, then swung by Danneel’s to say a quick hi and pick up a few things from Lexi’s room he’d thought she’d like.

Jared sat in his bed with Lexi’s journal in his hands. Why did he take it from her room at Jensen’s? He remembered the day he gave it to her. It was in Jensen’s trailer a few days after her sixteenth birthday. He had searched for weeks but couldn't figure out what to get his best friend’s little sister. He’d seen her journaling on set one day and noticed she was nearing the end of the small notebook. So he looked at all the nearest bookstores but never saw anything he thought she would like. They were either too small or too bulky. Too plain, to girly, nothing that fit her style or her personality. That’s when he took the internet and design her a journal. One she could add to, one she could carry with her easily. She’d never used another journal since.

He tapped his thumb on the cover of the black leather debating whether or not he wanted to read it. Did he have it in him to invade her privacy? Would he like what he would read? Lexi was currently laying half sedated in a hospital bed with four inch cuts on both her wrists. Now was not the time for privacy. Now was the time to find out why. More so, what could he have done to stop her. He opened it to a random page and began reading.

I woke up this morning and for a split second I didn’t hurt. Then I remembered I’m 2200 miles from Jared. That’s when the empty sinking feeling set in.

He swallowed hard and flipped a few pages over.

Today was another bad day. Jensen keeps trying to talk to me but after what he did, I don’t care what he has to say.

Jared stood placing the journal down and went to the kitchen. When he walked back into his room he had a glass and a fifth of whiskey. He had decided that if he was doing this he was gonna need some liquid courage. He turned the pages to the beginning and began again. He mostly flipped and skimmed through reading over the entries. It was mostly school, work, college choices, school boys, friends, normal teenage things. The handwriting was different. Softer more carefree. Then he scanned a page that made him pause.

I have a big problem. I think I have a crush on Jared.

He gave a small smile and kept reading.

Very cliche’ I know! Little sister having a crust on her brothers bestie. But it’s weird, i’ve never looked at him like that until I moved to Vancouver and I have no idea why.

Then again, how could I not have a crush on him? The man is fucking gorgeous!

Jared gave chuckle and flipped a few more pages.

I think I’m losing my mind. No way in hell was Jared flirting with me, right? It's in my head, it has to be! He is like 16 - 17 years older than me. That's almost two decades!! But then he looks at me with those piercing eyes and I suddenly forget how even breath. And when he touches me, my whole fucking body is electric.

Jared let out another chuckle. He knew she made him feel like that but didn’t know that so early on, she felt the same way.

I’ve never thought a kiss would make my heart literally stop. I feel like that everytime he kisses me. That can’t be normal, right? And I know he wants to take things slow but God, I want him. I know he wants to respect Jensen and I know he is scared because he has WAY more experience. But when we have sex its something that Ive never felt before. Even when we had sex the first time it was so different from with Chris.

Jared paused just seeing Chris’ name on the paper.

With Chris it all seemed rushed. Like he couldn’t wait to fuck. It was all pulling and rough. More focused on what he wanted. Jared was different. He was gentle and careful. I could tell he wanted me but he also wanted to feel me. He took his time and made me feel like I was everything. He still does.

Jared downed his drink and flipped through a few more pages stopping when he saw the handwriting change again.

I hate feeling like I can’t control my life! Every always know whats better for me. Jensen knew better when he made me and jared break up. Jared knew better when he told me to leave and basically forget about him. What about me? What about what i want?! At least chris gives me the benefit of the doubt. He gives me the chance to make up my own mind.

Jared looked at the date and saw it was about three months after she’d moved to L.A. She was diagnosed around this time. He could tell the differences in her handwriting. It was a tell tale sign of her moods and her ups and downs. Jared adjusted his position and several folded papers slide out of the folded back of her journal.

Dear Jared, I'm above the clouds right now on my way to Austin. My chest aches because all I can think about is you. I know Jensen thinks he is doing the right thing but how can it be right if you and I are hurting this much? The main reason I guess i'm writing is to let you know I get it. I get why you told me to go

Jared swallowed hard pouring another glass of whiskey before finishing and moving on to another paper.

Dear Jared,

Today didn’t hurt as much. I miss your text messages and phone calls.

Dear Jared,

I finally got out of the house for a few hours today. It wasn;t bad. Went to a movie with some friends. I was missing you by the end of the night. No one to tell my night to.

Dear Jared,

Tom reminds me so much of you! Gen came by with the kids today and even though she looks at me like she wants to kill me, I’m happy I got to see the boys.

It was letter after letter that she wrote as if she would be having a conversation with him. This was how she coped with not having her best friend anymore. Even though she knew she probably would never mail a single letter, she still wrote and told Jared about her days. The letters went from almost daily to a few a week. Then every few weeks until she left for L.A. Then the handwriting changed again.

Dear Jared,

L.A. is nice. I’m sure it would be better if you were here with me. I’m managing to deal with everything pretty well.

Dear Jared,

I saw Chris today. He is doing well and getting help.

Dear Jared,

I want to tell you how much i’ve missed you, how much I still love you. I’ve thought of the day you;d be standing in front of me again so I could tell you. But when I saw you I was so mad!

Jared fought back a tear as he kept reading.

You were worried I would recent you for being with you but truth is I recent you for not being with me.

Jared swallowed hard as he flipped to another letter. He saw one dated the night before she hurt herself.

Dear Jared,

I’m sorry. For being so mad at you. For pushing you away. For such a headcase and making things difficult. I wish things would have been different. That they could have been different. Maybe things were supposed to happen this way. I don’t know. All I do know is you were one of the best things to happen to me. And I want you to know that I love you and none of this is on you.

Always, Lexi

She was saying goodbye. He took another long sip from his glass emptying it. Jared flipped through another handful of of letters and a few more pages of her journal before getting up from his bed, dressing and heading back to the hospital.

The nurse walked into Lexi’s room at six am with an I.V. bag of fluids. She was quiet as she walked through the room as to not wake up Jensen who was sleeping on the small couch in the room, feet propped up on the edge and his head on the other, arms crossed over his chest. And, Jared was on his side next to Lexi in her bed. His head nestled close to hers on the pillow, arm resting across her belly, hand on hers.

The machine beeped and Jensen blinked awake looking over at the nurse. “I’m sorry, sir.” The young nurse whispered.

“It’s fine.” Jensen whispered back sitting up the couch squeaking waking Jared.

Jared climbed out of Lexi’s bed and looked at the nurse. “Everything alright?’

“Yes, sir. Just hanging more fluids.” The nurse said to Jared as she pressed a code into the machine. “Her vitals are staying steady.” She told Jensen as he stood next to the bed. “I have a few papers that need signing. I have two contacts on her list?”

“That’d be me.” Jensen raised a hand.

She held the clipboard in her hands. “Which are you, Mr. Ackles or Mr. Padalecki?”

Jared and Jensen both looked at the nurse then to one another in surprise. “SHe has me as an emergency contact?” Jared questioned.

“More than that.” She looked at the papers in front of her. “You’re Jared Padalecki?” Jared nodded. “You and Mr. Ackles are on a form stating that if anything happens to Ms. Ackles all legal and Medical decisions are to be made by the two of you.” She showed Jared and Jensen a copy of the legalized document. “How are you two related?”

“I’m the brother he’s her boytoy.” Jensen told the nurse casually. “Ma’am when was this document made?”The nurse pointed at a date. “That the year she moved to L.A., look Ellie even signed as a witness.”

“You didn’t know about this?” Jensen asked him and Jared shook his head. “I’m sorry,” Jensen told the nurse. “What do I need to sign?”

“The first two. It’s consent to treatment for the neuro exams and the other is for billing.”

Jensen signed the papers and the nurse left then he shifted his attention to Jared. “You really didn’t know.”

Jared looked up from Lexi. “Not a clue.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “She is always full of surprises.”

“What time is it?” They heard a raspy mumble.

“Lexi?” Jared looked down to see her squirming in the bed. “Hey, baby girl.” He cooed.

“Can I get some water?” She asked trying to sit up

“No, no, don’t sit up.” Jared held up his hands.

“Don’t push yourself.” Jensen handed her a cup with a straw.

Lexi sipped the water and handed the cup to Jared who placed in on the small rolling tray. “How do you feel?” Jared asked.

“Tired. Kinda groggy.” Her eyes focused on her hands in her lap, instant tears welling. “I’m so sorry,” Both men were at her side in an instant, arms wrapped around her tightly. “I didn’t, I-I just wanted the pain to stop.” She sobbed into Jensen’s chest. “I couldn’t stop it. It was like I couldn’t breath, my chest was so tight and heavy.” Lexi wet on looking up at Jensen. “I felt like I was on autopilot and once I’d done it, it all just went away.” She looked between them. “How could I be so stupid?”

“You’re not stupid, you’re sick.” Jared pulled her close.

“Lex, why didn’t you tell us you were bipolar?” Her brother took her hand.

“Things were calm and good. For the most part.” She wiped her eyes leaving her head on Jared’s shoulder.

Two more days past and Lexi began to regain her strength, slowly. She managed to get by with no brain damage but suffered from headaches. Her heart was undamaged as well but the doctor still insisted she remain taking this as slow as possible. Her mental health was a different story.

“Hey, Jay.” Lexi spoke gaining both Jared and Jensen’s attention. “When can I go home?”

Jensen sat on the edge of her bed and took a breath. “I kinda been wanting to talk to you about that.” He took Lexi’s hand in his and looked her in the eye. “I talked to the doctors and they think that you should go to a place to get some help.”

“You want to send me to a mental hospital?!” Lexi shot up in the bed.

“No, no.” Jared said quickly sitting on the opposite side of her. “It’s a treatment center-”

“You’re in on this, too?!” She looked at Jared horrified.

“Baby girl, listen to us.”Jared said calming her as he placed a hand to her cheek.her face. “It’s not a hospital. It’s a treatment center, kind of like a mental health rehab. The doctors want you to get back on the proper medication and dosages. For that to happen you need to be monitored for a few days or so.” She shook her head in protest as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “We would never send you somewhere if we weren’t absolutely one hundred percent sure it was a good place and you would be taken care of and safe. It’s run by the same doctors that run the practice I go to. I wouldn’t trust you with just anyone, you know that.”

Lexi looked from Jared to Jensen knowing this wasn’t a discussion. “How long?”

“Two, Three weeks, at least.” Jensen said with a small exhale.

Lexi shut her eyes as a single tear escaped. “Where?” She asked swallowing hard as she looked back at them.

“Like I said, here in Austin. We’d be able to visit you while in treatment.” Jared told her.

By the next afternoon she was being shown to her room at the Austin Recovery Center. It was the last place she wanted to be but she knew it was something she had to do. Her room held two beds and was plain. The building was on the outskirts and on several acres of beautiful full green pastures. In fact, the place reminded her of an old ranch, without all the animals.

Lexi spent the first few days in her room trying to be okay with the fact that she was away from the people that kept her sane. She’d cry then she’d get angry then she’d cry again.

Her new shrink, Dr. Turner, was a brunette woman that had a bubbly personality. Reminded Lexi of herself a few years ago. Dr. Turner suggested Lexi began taking Lithium again and wanted to make sure the dosage was correct. Three session with Dr. Turner a week along with group every day. Lexi didn’t like the idea of group too much. She didn’t like telling her therapist things much less an entire group of people she didn’t really know.

Which brings her to where she is today. A week and a half of being in treatment and she still hasn’t opened up much. In group she hasn’t opened up at all. So she sat quietly in her chair, knees up to her chest, listening as the other patience spoke.

“I wanna know why the new chick never talks.” Jesse, a young man, early twenties, long, dark brown layered hair nearly to his shoulders and light blue eyes spoke. “Do you think you’re better than us?”

“Not at all.” Lexi shifted her eyes to him but moved nothing else.

“She speaks!” Jesse said lifting his hands. “I was starting to thing you didn’t have a tongue or something.”

“I just don’t like talking to people I don’t know.” Lexi answered still not lifting her head.

“Well, you’ve been listening to us babble for over a week. Don't you think you know enough to share a little?” Jesse asked moving his dark hair away from his face.

“What do you want to know?”

“Is Lexi your real name or nickname?” A girl, Bathany, a bottle blond, very thin, asked across the circle.

“Nickname.”

“What’s your real name then?” Jesse asked.

“Alexia”

“That’s pretty, why change it?” He asked.

Lexi simply shrugged. “A nickname my brother gave.”

“Why are you in here?” Bethany asked again. “Aren’t you a model or some shit?”

“Language.” Dr. Turner, who was leading the group that day, spoke.

“I did model, yes.”

“Then, why are you in here?” The girl asked again. “Isn’t your brother like really famous, too?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You say that like money and fame fixes shit.” Jesse said towards the other girl.

“For some people it would.” The girl spat. “So why are you here. You’ve been sitting in group for almost two week and said nothing. You never talk outside of group either.”

Lexi looked at Dr. Turned who nodded her head as a sign of motivation to speak. “I tried to kill myself.”

“How?” Jesse asked sitting forward, curious.

“I drank a bottle of whiskey, took a handful of vicodin and slit my wrists.”

“Damn, you really wanted to get the job done.” Bethany said with a grin.

“Okay, that’s enough for today.” the Doctor spoke.

Lexi sat on the grass looking out at the flower filled fields across the property. The wind was warm against her skin as she watched the birds fly.

“So, you care for company?” Jesse said walking up.

“Sure.” She looked up at him as he sat down next to her.

“What are you doing out here alone?” He asked looking at her.

“I like the view. Jesse, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded looking at her carefully.

“How are your cuts?” She asked pointing to his bandaged forearms.

“Better. You?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“You really tried to kill yourself?” He asked bluntly as Lexi gave him a nod. “How and why?”

“I told you in group.”

“That was a watered down version.” He told her.

“I drank a fifth of whiskey then walked over to my-” She paused and corrected herself. “A friend’s house and took a handful of his pain pills. After sitting on the floor I took his razor and just cut.”

“Why?”

“I just didn’t want to feel anymore.” She looked at him. “The minute I heard my friend’s voice I knew I’d made a mistake but it was too late.” She took a breath. “Does that satisfy your curiosity. Is it enough info to run back and tell the little bitchy blonde in hopes of getting in her pants?”

“I-”

“I am not stupid. I learned how to read people years ago.” She turned her attention back to the field.

“Maybe I just changed my mind on that.” He was clearly intrigued.

“You’re not getting into my pants either.” She said with sass.

“Wow, you are a feisty one, aren’t you?” Jesse gave a cheeky grin.

“You have no idea.” A deep voice came from behind them.

Lexi turned to see Jared standing there with his hands in his pockets and a visitors tag clipped to his shirt. “Jared?” Lexi stood looking at him her heart began to race at the sight of him. The last time she saw him she was still in the hospital. “What are you doing here?! Oh, Jared this is Jesse, he is in my group. Jesse this is Jared-”

“The friend?” Jesse said with a smile looking at her. “Hey, nice to meet you.” Jesse extended his hand to Jared.

Jared shook his hand. “You too.”

“I’ll leave you two.” Jesse turned walking away.

Lexi turned to Jared and he gave a hesitant, nervous chuckle, clearing his throat. “Can I- can I hug you?”

“Of course!” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “My God, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” He leaned his head on hers. He took a step back and looked at her. “You, you look good.”

“Liar,” She looked away trying to hide her redding cheeks. “I look like crap.”

“Nonsense.”

“Come on, let’s sit.” She guided him to a bench.

“Seriously, you look great. Your cheeks are a perfect pink.” He said giving her cheek a small touch. “How do you feel?”

“Tired mostly. I have these really bad headaches. Doctors say it could be from my meds or from the trauma of all that happened.” She fiddled with her hands in her lap. . “I- I like the beard.”

“Yeah?” He ran his hand over his facial hair. “We finished filming like a week ago.”

“Ahh, so it’s hiatus beard time.” She said with a smile tucking her hair behind her ears.

Jared saw the bandaged on her wrist and gently took her hand. “Are you healing okay?”

“Yeah. They’re just itchy.” She looked up at him. “How about you? How are you with all of this?”

“I’m good.” He spoke and she gave him a look, a look he knew well. A look letting him know she didn’t believe him. One look and he gave in. “Alright, I lied. I’m worried about you.”

“I know.” She placed her hand upon his cheek. “But, you don't have to. I’m okay. I feel a lot better being on medicine again. It was adjusted to higher dose last week.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re sticking to the doctor’s instructions.”

“I should have never stopped taking my meds. I felt good. I figured I was better.”

“A lot of people do that. That’s why they tell you talk to a doctor before stopping your meds.” He placed his hand on hers. “Oh, Jay told me to tell you he misses you and you need to get your ass better so you can come home.”

“I’m actually surprised he wasn’t here with you.” She gripped his hand a bit. “He has been here every visitation day since I got here.”

“He called me and asked if I would like to come see you. I asked if he was coming but he said I could come just me.”

“Really?”

“I was just as surprised as you.” Jared told her.

Lexi nodded. “I’m glad you came. So, Are the kids good?”

“Yeah. They actually ask about you a lot.”

“Awe, I miss them.” She smiled.

“Oh,” He pulled a few pictures out of his pocket. “I have something for you.”

It was all photos of the kids playing at his place in Austin. “Oh, look at them!” She boasted. “They’ve gotten even bigger.” She said as she flipped through seeing different picks of Jared and Jensen with them as well as Danneel and Genevieve.

“Odette is starting to crawl.

“Is she?” Her eyes sparkled. “And the twins?”

“Are just like Jensen in every way.”

“Poor Danneel.” She giggled flipping through the pictures still. “It’s only been a few weeks but seems so much longer.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Here you go.” Lexi handed him the photos.

“Oh, no, those are yours to keep. I asked the doctor and she said it was okay.” He looked around and reached into his jacket pocket. “Actually. I have one more for you.” He handed her a picture of the two of them together from when they were together.

Lexi looked at the picture of the two of them snuggled together outside by a fire. One of the few times they had gotten to be outside like that together. “This is one of my favorite pics of us.”

“‘I know.” He smiled down at her, the glimmer in her eyes filling his heart. “That’s why I brought it.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

The two hour visit went by a lot faster than they’d liked. We they hugged before he left, Jared held on a little longer, a little tighter than he needed. Just the feeling of having her in his arms, so warm and full of life. It’s what he needed after finding her cold and lifeless in his bathroom. Lexi could see in his eyes the longing he felt.

Lexi sat in Dr. Turner’s office watching as the doctor settled into her position across from her. “So, you had a visitor today.” The doctor began. “Who was it?”

“Yeah, Jared.”

“How do you know Jared?”

“He’s a friend. Also my brother’s best friend.”

“Oh?” Lexi nodded. “Is that all?” The doctor challenged. “Just you and your brother’s friend?”

“I don’t know what we are to be honest.” She said looking down at her hands as she picked the remaining nail polish off.

“Why is that?”

Lexi looked at her therapist and took an audible breath. “What I tell you can’t leave this room, right?” Lexi eyed her.

“As long as you or anyone else isn’t in any danger, that’s correct.”

“So if I tell you some stuff that happened like two years ago, even though it’s not really bad but some people may not approve, you can’t say anything? Right?”

“Unless you’re hiding a dead body someplace, no.” Dr. Turner chuckled.

“Okay, um, Jared and I have… history.” She looked at the doctor. “Like romantic history.”

“I see. Why do you see that as a problem?” The doctor scribbled something down.

“Because I was a minor at the time. I - mean sorta but not really.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrow lifted.

“Not Like a kid, but I was seventeen the first time we slept together.” Lexi’s hands were sweaty as she rubbed them on the knees of her pants.

“How old was he?”

“Thirty two. And I know that sound really bad.”

“Lexi, why are you jumping to defend this to me? That’s legal.” The doctor asked as she wrote in her notebook again.

“Because,” She sighed with an eyeroll. “I know what you’re thinking and what you want to say even though you can’t say it.”

“Is that so?” The doctor studied her for a moment. “Lexi, do people know about and Jared’s past?”

“A Handful of people.”

“Did they react unfavorable?”

“My brother threatened to have him thrown in jail for statutory rape.”

“You brother who is his best friend?” Dr. Turner added.

“Yeah. But that’s not the worst of it.” Lexi scoffed.

“I’m guessing the world wind love you told me about was Jared?” Lexi nodded. “Tell me What happened?”

“See, I was living with Jensen and Jared up in Vancouver where he worked. When he found out he made me move back down to Texas and forced us to cut all ties. When really hurt because Jared was my friend, he was my person, you know?” The doctor nodded. “And things just went south after that.”

“How so?”

“Well, first my sister-in -law Danneel through a party with Jared’s ex wife and Jared had to be there for support and all. That night we ended up sleeping together and the next day Jay found out. It was bad. That night Jared broke up with me for good.”

“That must have hurt you.”

“It did.”

“When were you diagnosed?”

“A few months after I moved to L.A.” She watched as the doctor shook her head and wrote. “Why?”

“Lexi, can I be frank with you?”

“That’s kind of your job.”

Dr. Turned put her book down and leaned forward a bit. “When you’re symptoms began you were focused on Jared. That’s why you didn’t notice them. You were young and in love and it's easy to misplace the highs and lows.”

“So you’re saying, you’re saying I wasn’t in love I was sick?!” She looked at Dr. Turner neary horrified.

“No, no! That’s not what I'm saying! Not at all! I’m saying it seems to me, Jared kept you grounded. When you were forced to cut contact, you lost your anchor.”

“So you’re saying this is Jensen’s fault?” Lexi asked even more confused.

“I’m not saying that, either.” Dr. Turner held up a hand. “Do you feel like it’s Jensen’s fault?”

“No! I mean, I was mad at him at first but I understood and I’m over it now.” Lexi pushed her long, now auburn hair back from her face. “That was the first and only time I’d ever really been that angry at my brother. See, aside from Ellie, Jared was my best friend.”

“And with Ellie off at college that left Jared. You began to go down and you had no one to catch you so you spiraled.” Dr. Turner” explained. “Lexi, tell me, when you hurt yourself, where were you?”

“Why?” She asked with a small shake of her head.

“You were at Jared’s?” The doctor saw the look of confusion growing on Lexi’s face. ‘Weren’t you?”

“How did yo-” Lexi shifted in her seat. “Uh, yeah, I, I to his house when he wasn’t home.”

“Why?”

“Because I felt safe?” Lexi answered with no hesitation but paused, a look of extreme horror on her face and tears in her eyes. “And he, he found me.”

“Did you want him to be the one that found you?”

“No, no, I just wanted to be somewhere I-I,” She quieted not being able to speak. The doctor saw her emotions flashing in her eyes as she recalled that day. “He sounded so far away but I could hear him screaming my name.” Her lip quivered as she spoke the sudden unexpected wave of emotions came down on her. “I could feel him grabbing me and begging me to wake up.” That’s when she broke. “Oh God, how could i do that to him? How could I let him find me like that?”

Dr. Turner moved next to Lexi and held her. “Because you had no control at that point, it was your illness, not you.”

“He had crap he has to work through, too. How could I be that selfish?” Lexi looked up at her.

“Lexi, when you aren’t medicated and your illness takes control, it’s not you anymore. I’m sure he knows that. If he is as educated in mental health as you say, i’m sure he knows.”

Lexi’s mind was spinning. She’d always wanted to keep Jared safe. She never wanted to drag him into the mess she called a life. She felt as if she’d betrayed him. As if she let him down in the worst possible way.

That was the last time Lexi talked to Dr. Turner in recovery. That breakthrough was what Lexi needed to truly clear her head. She was released from the recovery center but wasn’t ready to be on her own yet in L.A. Although Ellie would be there, she felt she wasn’t at the point to be around all her old triggers. Since her mom and dad were traveling a lot due to her father’s work, Lexi opted to stay at Jensen’s instead of being home alone in Dallas. Lexi much preferred to be around family than alone in a huge house. Not to mention Jensen wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Lexi would continue to see Dr. Turner in office one to two times per week and ground at least once a week. More if she felt she needed. Her group was similar to an A.A. group. Except instead of drinking the people were anxiety ridden. depressed self harmers. They even had sponsors of a type, “buddies”. Your buddy would depend on you in his/her times of need and vise versa. It gave them responsibility for their actions.

It had been two days since Jared was back in Austin having started filming again, and he still hadn’t contacted Lexi. So, being curious, that afternoon she made her way down the stone path along Lake Austin till she came up on Jared’s backyard.

He was sitting in a wicker patio chair with his guitar in his lap. Lexi smiled as she walked up the path listening to him strum. Standing just feet away she stopped and watched him for a while. When he glanced up and saw her he stopped playing. “Lexi.” He placed the instrument down and stood. “What are you doing here?”

“I got home a few weeks ago.” She said with her hands in her back pockets. “I thought you would have stopped by when you got home the day before yesterday, but-”

“I was- I did..” Jared shoved his hands in his pockets. “I pulled in the drive but never got out of the car.”

“How come?”

“I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t want to mess up your recovery.” He admitted looking at his feet for a moment. “I’d only seen you the one time in treatment. I didn’t know if you-”

“If I’d be pissed at you now?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you tell me you won’t push me away this time and you help me then completely disappear after I get released?” She waved a hand.

“You heard that?” He asked in disbelief. “You heard what I Said when you were unconscious?”

Nodding her head. “Most of it, yeah.” She took a step toward him. “Jared, can we talk?”

“Yeah. Come in, I’ll get you something to drink.” He motioned to the door as she followed him in. “Beer, soda, water?”

“Water is good. I’m kind of staying away from alcohol for now.”

“Of course.” He shook his head in realization as he grabbed a water from the fridge. “I’m sorry, I-’

“It’s okay.” She smiled softly taking the bottle of water from him.

They sat in the living room, Jared making a mental note of her physical condition. Her cheeks held a pink tone again and her lips were back to their red shade. She seemed to have more charisma in her although she did have a cautious air about her.

Placing her bottle down she looked at Jared and raised her hand to his cheek for a brief second before grazing along his stubble. “You look good, Jare.” She told him with an exhale.

“Are you okay?”

“Jared, I came here to tell you how truly, unbelievably sorry I am.” Jared gave her a confused look. “I didn’t think about how finding me like that-” Taking a pause for a breath she looked up at him. “I’m so sorry I did that to you.” She tried to hold back the tears that insisted on rising.

“Don’t be.” He told her. “I’m not.”

“What? How could-”

“Because if I wouldn’t have found you then you wouldn’t have been here today. I rather deal with that then putting you in a casket, do you understand me?” He told her holding her face between his hands. “Listen to me.” He gained her eyes and focus. “I heard you. I heard you before the paramedics came in. You said you were sorry.” Tears threatened to rise in his eyes. “You said you wanted to take it back.”

“You could hear me?” Her voice a whimpered cry.

“Always.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ll always hear you, baby girl.” Touching his lips to hers for a moment he pulled back and looked at her. “Lexi, I love you.”

“Jared,” She looked down finding it hard to concentrate or even breathe looking into his eyes. When she glanced back up his eyes drew her in. His touches, swift and calculated, felt like fire through her body when he touched her. “My God, I’ve missed you.” She whispered between sweet, simple kisses.

In a mess of pulling and grabbing, they traveled up the stared to his bedroom dropping clothes from the door to the bed. All Jared wanted was to be inside of her again. He needed it like he needed air to breath.

Sliding into her Lexi gripped his arms burying her face into the crook of his neck, the scent of him filling her, heating her already heated flesh. She tangled her fingers into his silky long hair giving a slight tug, her hips rising from the bed as Jared grinded into her never letting the bodies part. Sweat beaded his forehead as Lexi pushed away the hair from his eyes, his lips finding hers easily.

Now they lay in his bed with the hot Texas sun shining in through the balcony windows. Lexi sat up, the sheet still pressed against her body knees to her chest. Jared laid with an arm behind his head and his other stretch out caressing her bare back with his calloused fingers.

“What are you thinking?”He asked her.

She stared into the bathroom. “How stupid I was.” She looked back at him. “How much I’ve screwed up over the past few years.”

Jared leaned forward pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Don’t apologize for being sick. That’s something you couldn’t control.” Lexi looked into his eyes and a pang of guilt hit her. “I miss this. You and me, being together.”

“Me too.”

“But Jared, I have to be honest with you.” She faced him. “I’m not supposed to get involved with anyone for a while.” Looking down she felt Jared’s fingertips grazing her bare arms. “It’s part of my therapy.”

Leaning back he looked up at her. “I know.” Her eyes darted to him. “Well, I didn;t know but I had a feeling it would be.” He Cleared his throat shifting to the edge of the bed. “Listen, why don’t we get dressed and head downstairs.” He slid into his Saxx and grabbed his shorts. “I’ll meet you down there in a bit. Take your time.”

Lexi dressed quietly and made her way down stairs thoroughly confused. Rounding the kitchen she heard Jared talk and stopped just within ear shot. “Yeah, she’s okay.” She heard Jared say. “I promise I'll bring her back later.” Lexi took a step closer trying to see if she could hear who was on the other line. “Jay, i’ll keep her safe.” Jared turned and saw Lexi standing there. “I gotta go.” He pulled the phone from his ear and looked at her. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Were you telling him you just got done nailing his little sister?” She said hoisting herself up on the counter.

“No, I wouldn’t-”

“It’s a joke, Jare.” She said with a smile. “So what was this? Just a quick hit before it's too late?” She eyed him. “What’s going on? If you knew I had conditions to my treatment why didn’t you stop what just happened?”

“Lex,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the counter and sat her in chair at the breakfast nook. “Listen, I need to tell you something.” He walked to a drawer and opened it. “I took your journal.” He held he worn book in his hand.

“Why?” She looked up from where she sat unsure what he was about to tell her. “Why would you do that>”

He placed the book on the table and sat next to her. “When you were sedated, I - I read it.”

Lexi looked down at her hands feeling her anxiety bubble to the surface. “You did?”

“And I found the letters.”

She stood from the table feeling mortified as she carefully pushed the chair beneath the table. “I should, um I should go.”

“Wait, no.” He stepped closer to her and placed his hands on her arms.

She backed away crossing her arms over her chest. “Please don’t.”

“I’m sorry.” He held up his hands. “I- I just, this isn’t going how I thought it in my head.” He huffed.

“You’re having conversations in your head but, I’m the one that just got out of the nut house.” She shook her head. “Hell of a match, aren’t we?” After everything her sarcasm remained.

He then ran a frustrated hand over his face. “Can I explain? Please?” He held out a hand for her to sit back down with him and she did. “I’m trying to tell you that I get it.” She gave another unsure expression. “I just, I didn’t, I didn’t know I was, that you, ugh, damn it” He ran another frustrated hand over his face. “It was the same for me as it was for you.” He finally got the words out. “You kept me calmer, my anxiety was less, I felt like I could function on a whole new level when we were together. Even my bad days were good.” His confession poured out catching Lexi off guard. “I wanted to tell you that I know how it felt. It wasn’t just you. And, and being with you today, It was good to feel that again. Even if I know it won’t last.”

“Wow.” Lexi let the word out in an exhale. “I, uh, I think I should have went with that beer.” She chuckled.

“What? I, I mean, you’re not mad?” He asked astonished.

“Jared, if I was to trust my deepest more personal thoughts to anyone,” She reached taking his hand. “It’s you.”

Jared still held a guilty look. “I’m still sorry I invaded your privacy.”

“If you can forgive me for what I did, I certainly can forgive you for being so concerned.” Jared smiled at her and her heart fluttered. “Now what?”

“We focus on you getting better and know i’ll be here for whatever.”

“Jared you know I-”

“You don’t want me waiting for you, I know.”

He kissed the back of her hands. “Just focus on you, okay?”

Next Chapter>

TAGS: @saxxxyjared @xostephanie @onethirstyunicorn @dreaminemz @squirrelnotsam @jbbarnesgirl @thevelvetseries

#Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Lexi Ackles #RPF #SPN #SPNRPF #SPNFamily #Supernatural #Jared x OFC #OFC #OMC #Triggers #Angst

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artistkoo · 6 years ago

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Jungkook halloween oneshot drabble; where u decided to have fun in his room, someone gets murdered on his floor, and u both get questioned. theres a lottle smut beware owo, also ive had this idea for so long but i just shitwrote it now (this is unedited so sorry for everything lmao.)

It was 10pm, You and Jungkook were on your way to his dorm. He was being annoying as always, touching your ass as you guys walk, and you were acting like you hate it but you secretly loved it when he's being touchy.

There weren't many students wandering outside anymore so he had the audacity, but even if there were your shameless asses wouldn't care. His dorm wasn't that far and that wasn't what concerned you. It was that the dorm was old and there have been eerie stories about it, they even have a weird curfew at 10:30 but no one really follows it. It's your first time going there since you started doing this fckbuddies thing with jungkook.

You hated each other at first, but realized it was just because of your hidden attraction towards eachother. And now you're backed against the wall, because Jungkook couldn't wait to get to his floor to make out with you. It was quite annoying that his room was on the 3rd floor too, and there wasn't an elevator.

It was getting cold and you were having goosebumps from the eerie place, so when you stopped kissing to breathe, you convinced jungkook to continue it in his room and head upstairs already.

It was almost 11, and Jungkook was still fumbling with his keys while at the same time kissing you. "I think we need to stop for a sec, so you can open it faster ya know." You suggest, pushing him away a bit.

He agrees, and tries to open his door again, but it seemed to be stuck and won't open for some odd reason. Jungkook's confused and irritated, he's been living here for a year and this never happened til now. You were getting impatient too, you were supposed to be getting your tits sucked now or riding his fat dick, but his damn door still won't open.

"Fuck it!" Jungkook exclaimed, and grabbed your waist to continue sucking eachother's faces and you grabbed his hair. You heard footsteps and wondered if someone was coming in your direction, so you tried to stop kissing Jungkook, but he just told you to ignore it.

"Ouch, babe don't grab my hair too hard."

Jungkook stopped because the pain was quite unbearable, he wasn't a wimp but it really did hurt a lot when you grabbed his hair. But you met his eyes with a confused look.

"Kook, that was awhile ago. I didn't grab your hair now, my hands were on your neck."

You really were telling the truth, and now you're creeped out as hell. "There's no one else out here. If it wasn't you, then who else could've done it? a ghost? anyway, let's just try to open this damn door again."

After inserting the key, and twisting the knob just like you did before it still won't budge. Jungkook was about to kick it when it suddenly opened. This place was really weird, you thought. You guys finally got inside and you sat on his bed, while Jungkook locked his door.

You checked your phone and it was almost 12 already, you were really out there that long?

"If you're not in the mood anymore I understand. we can just cuddle and watch a movie or something," he suddenly spoke.

"No- I still want to. I still want you." You said, though some stranger things shit just happened not to long ago. Maybe your lust for him was stronger than your fear.

"That's great then baby, come here and sit on my lap." he commanded, so you went and straddled him. You made out again sucking each others tongues, and not long after, your clothes were off.

Jungkook pinched your nipples and rolled it between his fingers, then sucked both respectively just like how you wanted him to. You palmed his crotch and rubbed him up. After some nice foreplay, and eating eachother out, his dick was finally inside you. You were in the middle of fucking when you thought you heard a girl scream.

"Kook, did you hear that?"

"Hear what? I'm sure it's nothing babe, stop overthinking. Am I not fucking you hard enough?" He says in between thrusts, he goes inside you faster and pounds you harder, so you couldn't think about anything else but his amazing dick and the mind blowing sex you're having.

It worked for awhile, until you heard faint knocks on the door. You looked at Jungkook, but he seemed to be too lost in his bliss to notice or hear someone knocking on his door. You didn't want him to think you were crazy and freaking out again, so you didn't tell him, and asked him to play some music, saying it would mask the sounds of your loud lovefcking.

The next morning, you woke up in Jungkook's arms. He was still asleep, and the atmosphere felt better now. It was like the strange events that occured last night was just a dream, or so you thought. After a quickie in the shower, Jungkook was telling you to hurry up with your makeup.

Since he was hungry. Honestly you both were, and you still have an 11am class. When you opened the door though, two odd looking police officers were staring at you like they didn't mean well.

"Uh- what can we do for you officers?" Jungkook was the first one to speak.

"Good morning, Do you guys mind if we ask you a few questions, about the murder last night here on your floor?"

"More specifically, did you guys see or hear anything unusual last night?" The other one said.

"There was a murder last night?" You inquired.

"Yes. A guy died, they say it was suicide, but we figured out he was strangled, perhaps choked to death." "Well, that's unfortunate. But No, we didn't see or hear anything last night. The music from the speakers, were probably too loud for us to hear anything. And we were probably asleep when that happened." Jungkook replied.

"Hmm. How about you miss? Do you have anything to say?" The officer looked at you, waiting for you to say something helpful or whatever. You glanced at jungkook, but he looked like he couldn't help you anyway. "I- No... We really didn't see or hear anything last night." You replied.

"Well, if that's what you say. But we might still invite everyone on this floor for questioning tom. If the murderer still isn't found. And you could always go to the police station, if you forgot to tell us something you should have." He says while staring at you subtly. So you cling unto Jungkook's arm for support.

"I don't get why they need to interrogate us again, we already told them we didn't hear anything." Jungkook says, as you guys eat chicken at Wcdonald's. "Maybe I should've told them what i heard, Kook." You say quietly, your voice almost a whisper.

"Baby what are you talking about? The scream you heard last night? you said it was from a girl- and obviously it was a guy who died."

"But what if the girl was with him? And she killed him? ughh I just don't want my conscience to kill me you know."

"Baby, maybe you're just overthinking. I think we did the right thing. We shouldn't get more involved with it, it's giving me an aneurysm already. Besides, what if the guy was involved with drugs? We wouldn't want to suffer the same fate as him." "Aren't you overthinking too? ugh. I've made up my mind. If the suspect still isn't caught today, I'm telling them about what I heard. And you're coming with me Baby."

"So, you're saying you heard a girl scream that night- while you were..." The police station officer says, while looking at you and Jungkook to make sure. "fucking. when we were fucking." You retorted.

You were tired of thinking about it since last night. "And afterwards, you heard faint knocks on the door?"

"Yes. Then I told him to play some music so I won't hear anything anymore." You replied.

"Well, the girl you heard was probably Anna. Your boyfriend's dorm is quite old you see," You almost rolled your eyes when he called Jungkook your boyfriend. You were just fckfriends and you wanted to correct the officer, but didn't wanna interrupt his story-telling.

"It's up to you if you'll believe my story, but a few years ago, there was a guy named Jason who dormed there, and he had a girlfriend named Anna. He was also a drug dealer, and unfortunately one night they got into a fight because he had to break up with her. It turns out he did it to protect her, cos some gang members were looking for him to kill him. One of the gang members probably found him and strangled him to death. Maybe because shooting him would be too messy, and would arouse more suspicion. Anna perhaps found out about it that night, and screamed for help. She still screams and knocks on doors for help every night on their death anniversary."

"their? she died too?" You inquired.

"Yes, she killed herself that day too. Unfortunately. There were some rumors that she killed him too, but who really knows what happened right? The gang member who killed jason was never caught, so maybe that's why her soul's still not in peace."

"But wait, there were police officers who interrogated us yesterday. Were they ghosts too?"

"Probably. There were officers who died while they fought off some gang members who were escaping- maybe they wanted you to remember them too."

"Well- Can't we do anything about it? Maybe have the whole place blessed again or somethin." You suggested. "They bless the dorm once every 2 years, so..." Jungkook spoke again.

"Maybe we should convince them to make it every year, or month-" You looked at him determined.

You thanked the officer for listening to you and telling you everything, you later learned his name was Kim Namjoon. You then decided to go back to your Uni.

"You knew about the story didn't you?" You asked Jungkook, as you walk to Uni. "I might've heard of it."

"Then why didn't you tell me? were you afraid I wasn't gonna go and do it with you that night, if I knew the place was haunted?"

"No- It wasn't really that. I just didn't want you to think I'm a freak or that I have a screw loose. I didn't wanna freak you out too." He sincerely replied. "I didn't wanna believe in it at first, but then you came that night and strange things really started happening. I realized maybe it was- true."

"Ugh, and you still accused me of grabbing your hair too hard- when it wasn't me." You told him, slightly teasing to see if he'd be scared.

"Sorry baby. I guess I didn't want to accept the fact that it was a ghost who actually grabbed my hair. Guess, Anna was jealous of us being in-love and happy." Did he just say you two were inlove? but then he quickly retracted the statement and said, "I meant- Alive and happy. Ugh fck me." The blush he had said otherwise.

"I already did. But wait, did you just say we're inlove? Jungkook are you inlove with me?" you asked him.

"No- I...just made a mistake okay? Can we go back to class now?" He's dodging the question. "Stop avoiding the subject, Do you like me or not Jung fcking Kook? don't make me say it first, and don't lie to me. If you lie, I'll never speak to you again." You snapped.

"Fine. Maybe I like you a little. So what?"

"Bye, Don't talk to me again-"

"Y/N wait! Fine I'm inlove with you okay? I like you a lot. Happy now princess?" He then gave you a cocky smirk. You turned to face him and got closer, "Really? You're not messing with me right now? If you aren't then I like you too. A lottle."

"No I'm not messing around. I really do like you, and would like to fuck you again tonight." He told you as he put his hands around your waist. "That's lovely, but I'll only accept your offer if you become my boyfriend, and promise me we'll never go to your place again." You feigned to pout, and he found your statement hilarious and cute at the same time, so he pecked your lips.

"Deal. I'm actually thinking of moving to an apartment too, maybe you should come and stay with me." He winks at you shamelessly.

"Wow. Aren't you so fast? Asking me to move in with you already huh? I'll think about it. Though honestly, I'd go anywhere with you because of that dick of yours." You jokingly tell him, you knew it wasn't just because of his dick.

You were undeniably whipped for his coconut btch ass too. But you don't wanna inflate his humungous ego more than it already is. He pouted, and you just laughed and kissed him. You were too late- for your current class anyway.

♡

Thank you for reading!♡♡♡

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lovecraftian-druid · 6 years ago

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Pactborn - Part IV

Log #1 - Muu 3rd, 425

I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M A SAILOR NOW. It’s just after nightfall of my first evening at sea, and it still doesn’t feel real. I’m proud of myself to be able to say that I didn’t get seasick like Papa talked about feeling when he first sailed on a ship. I like the feeling of the waves rocking the boat, and I love the smell of the salty air and the sounds of the sails as they flutter in the ever-changing breeze. Darja said that today was mostly for me to “find my sea legs” and get settled.

I got to see some really cool sea creatures already: a few dolphins followed alongside the ship a ways, jumping out of the water as they flanked us on either side. It was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. We saw a whale too, but we weren’t very close to it. Still, they’re so big that when it sprayed water from its blowhole, it looked like those giant geysers from geography books.

I have my own cot! It smelled a little, but something weird but exciting happened...I don’t quite no how to explain it, but as I was standing there, thinking of home, thinking of the little things that I knew I was going to miss, it was like my hands were suddenly not my own, moving in strange, somatic swipes and turns, til suddenly, I watched the soiled marks on the cot fabric fade away. I was really surprised because...to be honest, neither Mama nor Papa have magic, so I didn’t think I did either. Maybe it’s all this fresh air! I got excited and decided to try again as practice, and sure enough - I was able to make the cot smell like my sheets at home after Mama freshly washed them in jasmine water. I might have cried a little...I don’t know what made me more happy: the smell of home being right at my fingertips, or the fact that I could make it happen at all. I decided to try one more time, this time concentrating on making a warm bed. Sure enough, I touched the fabric on the cot and noticed the temperature change, warm to the touch. I’m lying in my warm, clean, sweet-smelling cot right now, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I can’t wait to tell Mama and Papa all about this when I come home. Now Papa and I can both share stories at sea.

Log #2 - Muu 4th, 425

Today was pretty rough. I’m so tired, I can hardly grip the quill to write this. Darja told me that today I was to learn the ropes so that I could start earning my place on the ship and make some coin. I worked with Bardi - he’s the head midshipman on the Golden Afternoon. I’m not gonna lie, he’s a bit of a hardass. At first I was doing pretty well keeping up - he taught me how to hoist sails, check the rigging, and a few other things that I don’t really remember what their names were (I’ll get it though). I kind of tried to show off at the beginning and used up a lot of my energy in the first couple hours, not realizing I’d be working that hard all day…

My hands are all chewed up from the rough ropes: they’re blistered and bleeding, and I don’t know what to do because Bardi said I’m gonna be doing it all over again tomorrow, too. There’s another younger kid on the ship - his name is Mica, he’s a genasi from the mountains in Sokoku. He told me that the same thing happened to him on his first day at sea and that he found that wrapping his hands helped a lot. I’m going to try that, I guess. I tried using that little bit of magic I found out that I could do yesterday, but it didn’t seem to help. I wish I could do healing magic like the people at the Sanctuary can… Maybe this little spell is all I can muster though. I’m still hopeful for more though.

Log #3 - Muu 5th, 425

I had another dream last night...about the kind man with wings. It feels bizarre saying this, and even reading this as I write, I know I sound crazy, but it had to be real. I had a hard time falling asleep because of how much pain my hands were giving me; but once I drifted off, he visited me. I couldn’t make out his face since there was no light at all, but I knew it was him...I could make out faint outlines of grey in the darkness, and I could see his wings curled around his sides and his massive shield strapped to his back. He didn’t speak, but just him being there made me sense that he felt...bad for me? Worried, maybe? He gave off a feeling of sadness. He took me by the hands, and I distinctly remember feeling the pain as it did so at first. But then, I saw our hands begin to glow faintly, and a soothing sensation took over my palms - it felt like the time I burnt my hand on the brick oven and Mama had to rub aloe on them. After that, I must have woken up, because I don’t remember anything else; the dream just sort of ended. But when I sat up in my cot, my hands were completely healed. COMPLETELY. I don’t understand how it’s possible, but I’m so grateful.

Whoever you are, if you’re here with me now or can read this, who are you? Why do you care about me of all people? Just...don’t ever leave though, okay? And thank you so so much…

Time to get up, eat, and go to work now - I’m not dreading it as much as I was last night. I’m going to find some cloth to wrap my hands, just to take precautions. Hopefully today won’t be as bad.

Log #4 - Muu 7th, 425

Sorry that I missed a day: yesterday and the day before were pretty wild. On top of doing my regular duties, I was assigned my first night watch (not something I want to do on the regular). I was so tired from all the hard work that day, and then I had to stay up all night… Thankfully, there wasn’t anything to report. One of the other sailors relieved me just as the sun started to rise, and I was able to sleep away most of the day.

When I woke up yesterday afternoon, we had just dropped anchor offshore from Felgra, the region to the east of Ghaan. Papa says that his fleet is based out of that region, but Darja said we’re still a ways away from Port Cladach. Instead, we were taking small rowboats to a coastal town called Fenwilde. It was nice to get a break from working with rigging - I finally got to do something I was good at: loading and unloading cargo. I learned how to row a boat as we went ashore, and then we delivered some crates to a little shop called “Blink Bottles” and a few sacks of spices to a tavern called “the Boar’s Head.”

Papa was right when he said that everywhere is a little different from home: there really wasn’t all that much sand as we got closer to the shore; and even then, the mainland was really boggy. And even though we’re still along the southern coast, it was surprising to me that it wasn’t hot - it was actually quite cool...just damp. There were trees everywhere, some of them growing right out of the shallow tributary channels, and everything was SO GREEN. I couldn’t believe how much moss there was in any direction that I looked. While in Fenwilde, we had a little bit of downtime while invoice papers were being reviewed and signed, so I took a quick look around town in an area they told me was called “High End” - they had all sorts of shops there, and one was a clothier. I didn’t realize how lucky I am to have Mama...she always made my clothes for me. Clothes are expensive. I was starting to feel chilly at night on the ship, and if other places were like this one, it was likely going to continue to be that way (or colder). I looked around until I found a cheap fleece blanket of emerald green. I bought it and returned to the crew.

When we finished the delivery, we rowed back out to the coastline, then continued out into the oceanic waters. When I got back, the sun was just starting to set - Darja told me to go rest up because I’d be taking the late watch again. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep doing this… But I guess it’s only for another week or so. I’m going to go try to sleep now...hopefully I can get a few hours of rest before they wake me up to take the night shift…

Log #5 - Muu 8th, 425

Last night’s watch was a little scary...as I was up in the crow’s nest (with my new blanket, thank the gods), I saw something off in the distance...it was another ship. I’ve heard rumors of sea bandits, or “pirates,” that sometimes prey on merchant ships in the cover of darkness, and I was terrified that what I saw was just that. The ship looked altogether foreign to me: what I now know to be a red-sailed jong, common among genasi merchants may as well have been the ship of the sea’s most dreadful buccaneer. Fearful and panicked, I nervously played with a piece of copper wire in my pocket from a repair I made earlier and felt a strange tingle in the back of my mind as I whispered over and over again, “Someone’s coming, shitshitshit, something is sailing this way, what the hell do I do…” Before I knew what I had just done, I heard the confused voice of Darja echoing in my head: “Ka’l? Is that you? Who is coming?” I had once again done magic, and I’m still a little unclear what I did to make it happen. I’ve heard about material components sometimes being involved - maybe the wire? Regardless, I flung myself from the crow’s nest, scaling down the rigging as fast as I could, to meet Darja on deck. He grumpily informed me of my mistake in identifying the ship as ill-willed, assuring me of its safety by pointing out the markings on its sails, before he returned to his quarters to sleep. I’m sitting in my cot, writing this, unable to fall asleep: I’m still jittery with shock from both finding a new spell and realizing just how easy it can be for a pirate ship to slip into proximity with us if one wanted.

Log #6 - Muu 10th, 425

Today has been a rough day. Darja called me to his cabin after supper. I figured it was about my two weeks almost being up; maybe he was going to offer me an extension, or something… It turns out he’s just a creep though - he tried to...I don’t know, I think he thought I was interested in him or something. I made it very clear though that I was not. He told me that since I was so disagreeable, I would be on night watches for the rest of my journey back to Khaadeehava but would still be expected to perform my daily duties as well.

I’m so homesick. I really love it out here on the Turquoise Waves, but I wish it were a different ship with a better captain. I rushed to get all of my chores done right after my watch ended this morning, then came back here to my cot to write a little before trying to get an hour of sleep before I’m needed to mop down the quarterdeck later. My one little twinkle of happiness is that - in my loneliness for home - I found another little bit of magic that I can make: I’m sitting here with my journal in my lap, and sitting on the cot in front of me is Mama...well, not really, but some sort of illusion of her. She’s sitting at the end of the cot just like she used to do at the bottom of my bed at home when she would come into my room to say goodnight...and she has that warm, soft smile that I miss so much. I wish she were here right now. I wish I had someone I could hug. For now, I’ll just hold tightly to my fleece and pretend, I guess...

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Thank you, as always, for following me through this journey of fleshing out one of my PCs’ backstory! If you’re interested in being included on the taglist, just send me a message.

Ye Olde Taglist: @serenewrites, @mayvinwrites

#writeblr #DnD #character development #character backstories #dnd PC #PC backstory #BtFM #Ka'l #sailing the high seas #Ghaan #Felgra #cantrips #aasimar #warlock #spell components are fun if you roleplay them as such

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pomegranateanarchist · 6 years ago

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things about the lightning thief musical

#the lightning thief #the lightning thief musical #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #luke castellan #clarisse la rue #chris mccarrell #kristin stokes #james hayden rodriguez #jorrel javier #ryan knowles #sarah beth pfeifer #jalynn steele #original

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leelee10898 · 6 years ago

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Two is better then one.

This is my submission for a picture is worth a thousand words challenge hosted by @speedyoperarascalparty. The amazing @riseandshinelittleblossom gave me my photo (Which I LOOOOVE) thanks boo. The pairing I chose is Leo & Alicia from the cgw world by @ao719 @riseandshinelittleblossom @speedyoperarascalparty, @cocomaxley and myself.

This is pure fluffy. Ooey gooey sweetness. Enjoy!

Alicia walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body. She glanced over at the bed a beautiful light pink floral sun dress laid out for her, with a note attached.

Meet me in the foyer at 5. -Love, Leo

A smile played on her lips. It was their first real date since becoming official. Sure they had been out together before, but they always called it hanging out and yes she had been his date to courtly functions, but again they were friends with benefits so it was fitting. At first when he asked her to go on a date, she thought he was joking so she laughed only he was serious. Shaking her head at the thought, She slipped the dress over her head. She dried her hair and did it in loose beach waves Fixed her makeup, slipped in a pair of wedges and headed down to meet Leo.

She descended the staircase, Leo's mouth fell open. “You look breathtaking love.” he leaned in pressing his lips to her cheek. “You don't look so bad yourself handsome.” Leo wore a pair of dark wash jeans, and a short sleeved button up, amd a new pair of sneakers. “New shoes?” she eyed him. “Of course. Shall well?” He grinned holding his arm out. She looped her arm in his and they walked out of the palace.

Leo opened the passenger door of the sleek black bmw, closing it as she was inside. He ran around to the drivers seat. “So, you gonna tell me what you have planned or what?”

“So impatient.” he teased. “we are going to dinner, somewhere you'll like.”

“Ok, fine. I'll let you have your fun.”

He reached over turning on the radio. “Here sit back, listen to some music and enjoy the ride.” She complied as he drove down the drive way and onto the highway. Taking the long way, he zipped through the hills of the cordonian countryside. He knew how much Alicia loved the scenery. “How you doing over there?” He glanced over at her, breaking the silence that settled over the car.

“Good. Just enjoying the view.” She grinned

A few minutes later they came over the last of the tall hills, the sparkling ocean laid out in front of them. A wide grin spread across her lips “I dont think I'll ever get tired of this view.”

“Neither will I.” His eyes never leaving her.

They pulled up to a small restaurant sitting right on the beach. “Seaside Gem?” She read the sign. “Yup, its one of my favorite places. I hope you like it.” He grinned holding his hand out to help her out of the car. They walked into the restaurant, the quaint view from the outside was nothing compared to the inside. The interior was decorated in a tasteful nautical theme, the wood craftsmanship was breathtaking. “Ah Prince Leo, good to see you.” an older gentleman approached them. “Papa Carl, how are you?” He shook his hand pulling him in for a hug. “Leo, you've brought a friend! And who is this lovely lady?”

“Where are my manners, Carl this beautiful woman right here, is my girlfriend, Alicia.” Leo beamed. Carl clutched his chest “Oh my god, i never thought I'd see the day. Come on, come on you two. The best seat in the house for you.” He pulled them along. “Momma louisa is not going to believe it.” He handed them menus as they sat in the booth.

“Papa Carl? Momma Louisa?” Alicia eyed him.

“I found this place when i was a teenager, Damien and I would sneak out, come to the beach and prowl for girls.” He grinned.

“Oh! So you bring girls here often?”

“No. Ive actually never brought a girl here before. I was supposed to meet Damien one day, but he never showed. I wandered around for a while and got hungry, so I came in here. I had no money on me, no credit cards, nothing. But Carl and louisa sat me down and fed me.”

He smiled at the memory, Alicia reached for his hand. “So they became like family?”

“They did, I came back the next week, money in hand. Week after week I would sneak off and come here to eat and enjoy their company. They felt like a family, lord knows my father wasnt a very good father after Liam's mom died.”

“Oh my little Leonard, come give momma a hug.” a short olive skinned woman, with a thick italian accent came barreling around the corner.

He stood hugging her, leaning down so she could kiss each cheek. “Momma louisa, this is my girlfriend Alicia. Alicia this is Momma Louisa.”

Alicia stood extending her hand “Its nice to meet ya.”

“This one, shes American no?” she looked between the two. “Ah yes, I am actually. Long Beach in New York.” Alicia answered.

“Ahh Mia familia in New York, ah in Brooklyn.” Louisa smiled. “Come, come.” she motioned for Alicia to come closer as she wrapped her in a giant hug. “I like her Leonard, you keep this one eh.” She pointed her finger at him. “I plan to mamma.”

They ordered and the waiter brought their meal out. Leo ordering scoglio which had scallops, shrimp, muscles and clams. Alicia ordering chicken parmigiana, her absolute favorite meal.

“Ok I dont even like sea food and that, looks amazing.” She eyed his dish. “Oh. it is. Wait til you taste yours.” He watched as she cut into the tender, juicy cutlet and twirled the spaghetti on the fork. She took a bite. Her eyes snapping shut. “mmmmm oh. My. God. Leo, this is, wow! Its like i died and gone to Italian heaven. This is way better then mine.”

“I told you. But I happen to think yours is really damn good love.”

They devoured their food. Paying the bill, and hugging Carl and louisa goodbye, with the promise to come back atleast once a month.

She started walking towards the car before Leo stopped her. “No love. Were not leaving just yet.” he lead her down a small path that opened up to a boardwalk, complete with shops and stahls. “Care to take a stroll?” He laced his fingers with hers.

“Of course. But only if you win me something.”

They walked hand in hand along the semi crowded boardwalk. A few people gasping, pointing and speaking amongst themselves. “People are staring, Leo.” Alicia dropped her voice. “So, let them stare.” He chuckled as they continued their walk stopping at the arcade. “Lets see. Ring toss? NO. skiball? To easy. Ah! This.” He stopped at the bottle toss game. “Leo. these things are always rigged.” She whispered. “Nonsense, Let me show you how its done.” He paid the attendant and grabbed the 3 balls. He threw on hitting it, wobbling a few, the 2nd ball knocked the top bottle off, but on the 3rd he hit it just right and all of the bottles came tumbling down. He picked a large stuffed weiner dog that she named Fred.

They continued their walk, talking and laughing along the way. “Tell me, where do you see yourself in oh 5 years?” He asked, trying to pull her attention from the people that had now crowded to the boardwalk. “Five years? Well, if we are being honest.” She paused for a moment, not sure if she should really say what her heart's desire was. She closed her eyes for a second, and took a deep breath. “I hope to be married and have at least one child by then.”

She waited for him to choke, stop walking, stutter nervously, but he didn't. “Is that so?” He sounded amused.

“Yeah. It's just, something I've always wanted. To be married, have a family.” She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. “And tell me Alicia, do you see that for us?” Alicia stopped dead in her tracks now turning to look directly at him. “I. Um. I would be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. But Leo I understand if that's not something you want. I know it was a big step, asking me to be your girlfriend. I would never push-”

“You would never push anything on me love.” He cut her off, she opened her mouth to speak, but he continued. “Alicia, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Everything about you pulled me in. It took me a little bit to realize that you were the one, but mostly because of my wanting to deny my feelings. ” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “I am hopelessly in love with you, Alicia McCall. And I would be lying if I said I didn't want to make you my wife, and the mother of my children.” A stray tear rolled down her face. Her eyes darted around at the large crowd of onlookers. “They're really staring now.”

“Maybe I want them to. Maybe I want to give them to see how madly in love I am with you. Maybe, just maybe we should give them a show.” Leo gave her that sly smirk.

She fumbled forwards, he foot grazing the top of his shoe. “Hey, watch the shoes.” He teased.

A matched grin formed on her face. “Oh, i'll watch the shoes alright.” one by one she stood on top of his feet, she leaned up on her tiptoes, pulling the collar of his shirt. He met her demands as their lips crashed together in a soft, passionate kiss. They pulled back staring into each other's eyes. They could hear the gasps, giggles and cameras snapping photos from the press and onlookers around them. “Liam's gonna be pissed.” Alicia giggled. “Let him be.” Leo grinned his large hands wrapped around her waist as he lifted her and spun her around. “Thank you, this has been a great date.” She smiled as he let her down. “You are welcome, but this date is far from over love. Just wait until we get back to the palace.” He growled.

“Well, last one to the car is a rotten egg.” She took off running.

Leo stood there giving her a head start “God I fucking love her.” She said to himself before he took off running.

When your ready to post be sure to tag Writers:

@speedyoperarascalparty @ao719 @leelee10898 @riseandshinelittleblossom @zaffrenotes @drakewalkerwhipped @stopforamoment @annekebbphotography @lizeboredom @boneandfur @mind-reader1 @jovialyouthmusic @ooo-barff-ooo @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @hopefulmoonobject @sleepwalkingelite @likethetailofacomet @silviasutton1989 @blackcatkita @blackcoffee85 @kennaxval @andy-loves-corgis @callmetippytumbles @iplaydrake @the-everlasting-dream @brightpinkpeppercorn @agent-bossypants @tornbetween2loves @dcbbw @jlouise88 @choicesbyjade @breaumonts @thehonorarybeaumont @pixelsandkink @innerpostmentality @katedrakeohd @darley1101 @carabeth @sirbeepsalot @strangerofbraidwood

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@be-still-my-aching-heart @explorer-of-gems

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mueritos · 7 years ago

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this might be too personal, but have you gained confidence to use the mens restroom as a trans man? because ive been trying to psych myself up for the mens restroom for the past two weeks and ive been too scared lol im pre-t and barely passing, and it shows lol

I usually use whichever bathroom is safest. When I’m alone in the middle of class, I’ll use the boys bathroom. Know which times are usually the emptiest for the bathroom. Usually its smack in the middle of a lesson or a little bit after class warm up. Don’t use the bathroom at the beginning or very end of class, between bells, or during hallway time. They are always full and thats not exactly safe. I never use the girls’ alone. I make sure to have girls come with me to the bathroom and I only ever use the girls during lunch. I also limit how much liquid I drink now. I would take tiny sips in the morning so I can pee during lunch, then wait til my last class at the last 30 minutes and chug all of my water because of how dehydrated I was.

It’s very hard to work up the courage to use the bathroom you should be using. I look mostly male, so thats what I try to use. Most dudes in the bathroom don’t give a shit, I walked in on a dude fucking squatting on top of sink once and he just glanced at me over his phone. I did my business and left. I would not use the mens if you don’t feel like you’re not passing. I always preach that you do not have to pass to look like what you identify with, but I cannot deny the dangers of not passing either. I’m pre-t too, but if you want to pass there’s a lot you can do. Just wearing very masc clothing (usually joggers, a hoodie) can do a ton. If you already look ambiguously male, there’s not gonna be a dude in the bathroom asking why you’re in there. I unfortunately appeared to male to use the girls one time (its the last I ever used the girls alone) and was harrassed. I’ve been using the boys for nearly a year now (and in public) and no dude has said anything to me. They’re not gonna be sus unless you present physically femme. Also, when dudes sit and pee, drop your pants to the floor and sit a little closer to the edge of the toilet. Your piss will sound phallic and your appearance through the stall cracks will appear masc (I had some dude look at me through the cracks one time and all i could do was stare back in confusion like dawg what????)

I want you to know that I’m proud of you, my friend. This isn’t easy. But I need you to promise, ALL of you, to do what is safest and NEVER hold in your pee. I never mentioned this, but recently I did just that and it resulted in I guess a UTI? It fucking hurt though, I’d take a sip of water, have the strongest urge to pee in 10 mins(as well as an uncomfortable pain in my bladder), and sit on the toilet only to wait an extra minute or so just for my pee to come out. So basically I had to pee real bad every couple 30 mins only for it to not want to come out. You can seriously damage your bladder if you hold in the bathroom, and unfortunately enough this is a common problem amongst trans people. I wonder why…

I’ve had a friend (?) of mine downplay my struggles when it comes to using the bathroom. I went to use it only to come back a minute later because there was someone just standing in the stall next to mine, and I was too afraid to sit and piss. He was annoyed that I didn’t just “use the bathroom” and that “no one cares” anyway enough to notice. It made me feel angry, frustrated, and hurt that someone who I thought was my friend would seem so insensitive. I’ve been harrassed in the bathroom, but my trans identity in general has me in fear of my safety virtually all the time. My trans friend (who’s been on t for almost 3 years and has had top surgery) doesn’t even use the bathroom if there’s a group of boys inside, and he passes perfectly. There are things that cisgender people will never understand, or even think of, to ever know what we go through. I’m proud of you for trying to build up the confidence, but please do what is safe. Make sure your school administration will back you up if something ever happens.

Stay safe my friend, and I hope happiness finds you.

#pittsanswers #trans stuff #transgender #trans male #if you need more advice and such pls look through my trans stuff tag

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noragottem · 7 years ago

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Promise Baby, You'll Love Me Forevermore

So uh hi. ive never written a naruto fic before this really so i guess this is a good start.

word count: 1961

Rating: T i guess

inspired by this fic right here and my contribution to kiba week. give jaz some love this fic is amazing. also be nice to me maybe idk okay here goes

@princejellychu @ino-buta @for2buns

It’s a fine, nearly spring day when Kiba first lays his eyes on what has to be the finest boy he’s ever seen.

The dogs are running low on food and Kiba’s been sent to fix that. It’s a good long walk usually canceled out by a car he’s no longer allowed to use. At least til his momma forgives him. He spots Naruto’s bright yellow hair as he enters the store and resists the urge to tackle him. Naruto’s not alone and Kiba has some kinda home training. “Que pasa pendejo?!” He yells across 3 aisles. Home training never included an inside voice. The group turns around and Kiba recognizes the redhead; Gaara, knows how to party, always brings coke but exclusively for Naruto. The tall blonde with the large space puffs that are out of this world he doesn’t recognize but she fits the description of the girl Shika’s so hung up about. Kiba thinks he understand, her legs do go on forever. He doesn’t focus on her for long because last boy, dressed in all black from his beanie, to his fingerless gloves, to his combat boots has his attention in a vice grip. If the outfit wasn’t enough the boy has on dark purple lipstick he’s matched to his eyeshadow. Kiba dubs him “sexy goth” and needs his name immediately. The sudden wave of dehydration makes him trip over his own feet. He doesn’t fall, thank god, his reflexes are usually on point. He smoothly gathers himself making his way over to Naruto. “Gonna scare all the customers with that racket, dog breath.” Naruto says with a smile slinging his arm around Kiba’s neck in a not so gentle hug. “I’m sure Lee wouldn’t mind.” Kiba replies when Naruto releases him. “Who do we have here?” “Well you know Gaara. This his brother and sister.” Naru says pointing to each respectively. “Temari,” the blonde says waving with the bag of chips in her hand. “Kankuro.” Sexy goth says, and offers his hand to Kiba. Kiba takes it with a lopsided grin. “Kiba. My mom owns the kennel, good friend of Naruto’s. Single.” Kankuro raises his brows, impressed. If Kiba takes too long to let go of his hand he doesn’t say. “You didn’t tell me your Suna friends were fine as hell.” Kiba says to Naruto in Spanish. “You never asked.” Naruto says. — Later when everyone gathers at the Namikaze house his friends shake their heads at him. “You ever met a bitch named shame?” Shika asks. He’s propped up against Naruto’s bed nursing a can of beer. “We’re not on speaking terms right now.” Kiba shrugs from the beanbag in the corner. “I cannot believe that worked.” Chouji says. “What can I say? I am a gentleman.” “If you’re a gentleman I’m fucking lawyer.” Naruto says from the edge of his bed. They all crack up and Ms. Kushina yells that they better laughing over that homework. — The next time he sees Kankuro it’s two days later and he’s working his shift at the kennel. He’s mostly waiting for lunch time. The dogs are clean and in their cages waiting to be adopted. Hana’s in the back serving them lunch when Kankuro stomps in donned in another all black outfit. Same boots, same fingerless gloves, but a black hoodie and baggy black jeans. Kiba notes he painted his nails the same purple as his eyeshadow and lipstick. Favorite color. Noted. “Welcome to Inuzuka Kennel,” he drawls and gives that same lopsided grin. “What can we do you for? A dog? A friend? Both?” He’s never been one for subtlety. Kankuro pretends to consider this. “I guess bit of both.” Kankuro matches Kiba’s grin and leans over the counter. Well then. The tension is strong and pulled taught. “I’m heading out for lunch Kiba you want anything?” Hana yells on her way out. Kiba doesn’t break eye contact with Kankuro and answers, “two pork shoulder sandwiches from Akimichis.” He hears his sister confirm and the door shuts. “Why don’t you step back here and we can see about that?” — Hana comes back in exactly half an hour, ever punctual. Kiba is has his chair tipped back and his feet in the desk which his mom hates and Kankuro sitting on the desk which Hana frowns at. She hands Kiba the bag with the food and he hands Kankuro the other sandwich. “Aight, get back to work before Mom makes you scrub this whole place down.” Hana says. Kankuro takes that as his cue to go. “I think I might come back another time.” “Oh did you see one you liked?” Hana asks. Both boys smile. “Sure did.” — “I hope ya momma busts ya ass for fucking on the clock.” Chouji says throwing a couch cushion at him. “Speaking from experience?” Kiba says catching it easily and sticking his tongue out. He doesn’t tell them Hana slapped him upside the head twice but was merciful enough not to tell his momma. — “You sure you not moving too fast?” Naruto asks one afternoon in detention. Its almost summer. Almost vacation. He wears his mesh shirt to school because it’s just that hot and thinks the detention is worth it. Iruka sensei lets them do whatever for the hour as long as they don’t make too much noise or leave the room. Shika’s there for snoring in trig, Ino for skipping gym, Naruto got into another fight, and Sakura, apparently cussed out the history teacher. “Maybe,” Kiba says. They’ve only been on two dates at this point and yes Kiba is counting that time at work. He hogs the phone every other day just to talk to Kankuro. He never thought of himself as someone who could manage a long distance relationship but here he is. Except- “We’re technically not exclusive yet.” He confesses. Ino practically shouts, “Why the fuck not?” Iruka looks up from his newspaper and gives her a look that says, “Really?” Kiba shrugs and that only makes her more mad. “What’s the hold up? You like him, he likes you, you both are only seeing each other so what’s the problem?” She says waving her perfectly manicured nails around. (The elephant in the room blares but neither her or Sakura hear it) “There ain’t no problem. It’s just never come up.” Kiba doesn’t usually feel insecure but right now he’s uneasy. It’s too soon to say he’s in love, but he’s never had a relationship like this. “You should probably get on that quick then,” Sakura says. “It’s different when you can’t see them everyday.” Kiba doesn’t like the implication at all. His stomach sinks a bit and Iruka sensei dismisses them for the day. — Kiba doesn’t really ask for much for his birthday. He appreciates a good party even when it’s a few days late and loves being surrounded by friends and family. Even when certain friends abandon him for their new boytoys. Fucking typical. “Are you pouting, birthday boy?” Kiba looks up to see Kankuro and to say his face lights up is an understatement. “You came!” He all but tackles him and almost knocks the both them into Shinos table. Kiba can’t see his glare behind his shades but knows it’s there. He doesn’t care. “You’re surprised? Why wouldn’t I?” “Well,” Kiba starts. God since when does he get nervous? “We never really talked about being official or anything-“ “We haven’t? I’ve been telling everyone my boyfriend lives in Konoha.” At this Kiba laughs wholeheartedly. “That answers that.” “Sorry for not being explicitly clear, Scotty.” He presses himself impossibly closer and kisses him longer than ever necessary. “I also came bearing gifts.” “You mean you weren’t my present?” “Well yeah. Consider it my apology for not being able to stay.” Kankuro hands Kiba a tiny bag and smiles. “Only the best for the birthday boy.” “Holy shit I love you.” —

In a month or so momma Inuzuka will let Kiba take his permit test and Kiba will be allowed to borrow the car again. The first thing he plans to do is book it to Suna and spend a week in Kankuro’s bed. It’s just not fair he doesn’t get to go to Suna when Kankuro gets the privilege of travel from being a mayor’s son. Speaking of mayors sons-

“Ya boys are here to spring you.” His mom says as he’s finishing up a mornings worth of dog grooming. Naruto has the bright idea to take Shika to Suna to get him laid. Kiba doubts it will happen but now he owes Naruto big time and wonders if he should ask if he can read minds.

Kankuro’s tracing the scars on Kiba’s arms. They don’t hurt anymore but it’s still an ugly reminder. Kiba had called it “a present from Konoha’s finest,” always defaulting to jokes to keep the mood light.

Kankuro had given Kiba a brief tour of his room; from the various posters of metal and punk bands hung haphazardly to the small woodworking projects he’s accumulated over the years.

(This tour obviously ends with Kiba’s tongue down Kankuro’s throat. While Kiba enjoys hearing his boyfriend enthuse about his projects, that’s not really what his friends drove through a windstorm for)

“D’ya think Shika’s has any luck with Temari?” Kiba says comfortably snuggled up to Kankuro’s side.

“Nope. Which is sad because they’d probably be good together.”

“What’s the holdup?”

“It’s not him. It’s her and the fact that she’s currently into Hinata.”

“Shit, she is hard to compete with.”

“Just hope she doesn’t crush his heart into tiny pieces. That would make things awkward for us wouldn’t it?”

“Meh. Inconvenient more like.”

“Oh yeah I have something for you.” Kankuro suddenly remembers and Kiba pouts when he gets out of the bed.

“Why are you always the one getting me stuff.”

“I just like spoiling you.” He reaches into a drawer on his desk and Kiba hopes he’s not blushing too hard. “Plus, you did come all the way out here and it’s not like Suna weather is nice to you city folk.”

“Said the goth in the desert.”

“I’m committed to my art.” He holds up a chain with a single charm on it. Kankuro continues before Kiba can ask.

“My granny Chiyo gave this charm bracelet a long time ago. Don’t usually wear it because I’m afraid of losing it.”

“And this charm?” Kiba asks placing his hands under it.

“Is my favorite.” It’s a skull, painted a metallic purple with two black gem for eyes. “You gonna turn around so I can put it on you or just stare?”

Kiba’s never been one for jewelry but there’s no way he’s ever taking it off.

—

“So this is famous novio.” Tsume says as Kankuro steps out the car.

“Miss Inuzuka-“

“Please call me Tsume. I don’t know what my son has told you but I’m not that old. Is this for me?” She says pointing to the present in Kankuro’s hands.

“That it is. Kiba said you were also a fan of this brand. Thought you would appreciate it.”

“Oh boy you didn’t have to butter me up I already liked you.”

“It’s no problem Miss Tsume.”

“Come on in Hana just made dinner.”

Kankuro slips into the house and Tsume catches Kiba by the back of his collar. “You didn’t defile my car did you?” She asks him in Spanish.

“Who do you take me for?” Kiba asks, scandalized.

She hooks an arm around his neck and rubs her fist against his head. “I take your for my son.”

Kiba groans but he can’t argue. Lying to his momma is useless anyway. The inevitable punishment is worth it.

#mine #fanfic #my writing #posting here for obvious reasons

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bright-hao · 7 years ago

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soft bias tag

okay, its been ages since i did a tag on here!! but my hermanita @hocidi(or hijita now? since you call me mom?) tagged me to do this soft bias tag!

my ult is still minghao, but bc most of this is romantic stuff(and i dont really have a lot of romantic feelings for hao) i’m gonna do my other best boy, seungkwan

Who is your bias: Boo Seungkwan of Seventeen

What made you notice them: I always loved seungkwan, its so funny cause at first i used to be like “oh i wish seungkwan was my twin” and as time went on it was like “yes, seungkwan and i would be best friends we’d be a killer duo” but like...by the time boom boom era came around and he dyed his hair blond the first time? fuck dude, i knew i was in love. very specifically there’s one photo (here) that always comes to mind when i think about first falling head first for him, and well. now he’s my guy.

what’s your favorite thing about them: boy, everything! physically, i love his cheekbones/jaw combo, people really dont pay enough attention to his bone structure. and personality wise, i love his ability to just talk and command all the attention in a room if he wants to,especially because it’s not in a scary, authoritative way, and i feel it makes people comfortable while they also respect him and hold him in high esteem bc of it. I personally have a close relationship with words, so to see the abilities he has with just his everyday speech is...spectacular

who would initiate skinship more: i think both of us, but in different ways? i feel like i would initiate a lot of smaller touches, just so we can be in constant contact, and also id probably spend a lot of time thinking about something before i do it, but i feel like seungkwan would be like hey! let’s hug, and we’d...hug. he’d probably initiate bigger things, like hugging and hand holding, and it’d be more spontaneous for him.

who would hog the blankets more: i don’t really feel cold easily and tend to get warmer as the night goes on, so what might really happen is seungkwan will often wake up buried under all the blankets because i pushed them over to his side in the middle of the night

who would be more clingy: earlier on, it would be him, bc i dont let myself get overly attached to people, but maybe if we spend years together and i get used to him/his constant presence in my life, things might change

who would say I love you first: oooohhh this one’s tricky. if i feel like he’s still sorting through his feelings and commitments, i’ll wait for him to say it first, but if i feel sure about him and where his heart is at, i’ll say it as soon as possible. possibly way earlier than most people would. it’s not a big deal to me when the words drop(bc it’s really not about words anyway for me, its about proving it with your actions, and if he loves me i should know even without him saying it), but if it is for him then i guess i’d wait til he felt right about it. granted, i think the more open you are to begin with the faster seungkwan himself would open up, so maybe it’ll just be a toss up bc we’ll both already be on the same page.

who would be more easily flustered: i’m a confident gay, so like, it would definitely be me making him flustered as much as i can for fun.

What cuddling position would you two have: okay, so here’s what i’m thinking: he’s mostly on his back, however he’s comfy, and i’m curled up at his side with one leg thrown over him and he has one arm around/under me, and my head is either next to his on the pillow or on his shoulder (like this). we can reverse the positions too we’re flexible

which colors remind you of them and why: sunset colours!! i often call him my sunset boy, so sunset colours, and very specifically all shades of orange, make me think of him. they’re just...warm and sweet but also fiesty and bold colours which is...him in print.

which season would you like to spend with them: uhhh all of them for the rest of my life? Idk, I feel stupid answering this since I live in a tropical country but...mm, maybe the time period where it's not quite spring yet but it's not really winter anymore...like, imagine going on a road trip and you get to see the landscape change from white and snowy to bare for a little while and then everything blooms. gorgeous. i wanna do that with him. or maybe the summer season in the arctic where it’s light out 24 hours a day. or just mango season here in trinidad

who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter: seungkwan would probably make the decision for us to bake cookies together bc it’ll be a fun bonding experience or whatever, but he doesnt really know what he’s doing, so i have to give him all the instructions and explain everything to him, and then i let him struggle with all the dirty work and look on and occasionally snatch bits of the dough to ‘make sure it’s coming out right’

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react: i dont really do puns, so it’ll have to be him. he probably spends all his alone time trying to come up with them. over text, he might get a eye roll emoji or a ‘why are you like this’, in person i’d probably just ignore it completely and continue the conversation like it never happened. (which might make him pouty, but pouty seungkwan is adorable, so either way i win)

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who come to the rescue: i’m brown and poor poptarts have never been a thing in my house, so i suppose it’ll be me who screws up. wake up in the middle of the night hungry so i sneak into the kitchen as quiet as possible, not even turning on any lights, put the thing in the microwave for way longer than its supposed to be. when it explodes seungkwan runs outside half asleep bc he wants to know who got shot. he cleans the mess bc he loves me and tells me to leave the pop tart prep to him in the future.

who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back: it would be me, adrenaline junkie and lover of risks and high places, leaning over the railing of a tall building like ‘omg, i could jump right now it would be like flying’ seungkwan would drag me away and probably sit me down and lecture me about it too

what would you watching a horror film with them be like: i would never watch a horror movie, lol. next question.

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt: i think we could both be cheesy when we wanted to, but maybe more him than me since he’s the king of cheese. flirting is one of my favourite pastimes, so i’d probably be a decently smooth flirt. as earlier mentioned, my greatest joy would be seeing him flustered and at a loss for words bc of just how smooth i am

who is more competitive: oh we are BOTH very competitive, it’s super fun when we’re playing a game or a sport and we’re on the same side and trying to crush the opponents, but i think we try to get on opposite teams bc its ten times more fun to try and beat each other. like just the thought of being better at him at something is already exhilarating to me ;;;)))))))

who would have to be given constant reminders: for tasks that are hard/uninteresting, i’ll have to have him remind me cause i’ll find 500 things that are more interesting to distract me when i just need to suck it up and get the thing done, and i’ll need the nudge. when it comes to just forgetting, i’ll probably have to remind him bc it totally slipped his mind.

who sends memes and who sends cute I miss you text at 3 am: he definitely sends the memes, im way too lazy to save them on my phone and then have to go looking for one that’s appropriate, that’s a lot of work. i’m happy to receive them though. and uhh...i wouldn’t send anyone a text like that at 3am and i wouldn’t like to receive one either, and i would tell him that. emotions get weird and warped at that hour, and i dont trust them on a regular basis, much less at 3 o’clock in the morning. i say, hold it in for now and if you still feel the same at 10am? then you go ahead and tell me you miss me. BUT if i get a message at 10am from seungkwan saying he misses me/loves me/is thinking of me? i would be on a cloud for the entire day.

this was really fun! my heart is warrrrrrrrrmmmm and ive been in soft stan mode for the past two days cause of it. so now i’m gonna tag @woozifi @minigum @mvpgyu @pabospoiler @seonyein @szrw @witchzi @yookik have fun friends!

#seungkwan #svt #ginger and honey #tag games

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