#ive had it up to here -> make believe
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ill make fun of weezer for tons of things but you could never make me hate Everything Will Be Alright In The End. I relistened to it for the 10th anniversary last week and its damn near a full-pointer album imo - at least for the kind of pop alt-rock weezer does.
every song is immediately unique from the last. Ain't Got Nobody so perfectly consolidates every theme of the album into just one song, into just one phrase. its not just about loneliness but of the fear that everything you rely on for support - friends, fans, lovers, role models, family - can all be gone in the blink of an eye. all of these individual relationships are touched on across every part of the album with briskness and energy, always with a little bit of silliness, but still with enough sincerity to tell you that Rivers genuinely cares about them.
really if it wasn't for Back to the Shack being a kind of uninteresting listen i couldnt name you a single gripe i have with it. its everything the band is good at paired with substance to a degree the band only dabbles in

#weezer#ok bitch its weezer and its weezy#ewbaite#everything will be alright in the end#theres so many more things to write on this album#like how basically every song on it can be connected to a past weezer record#lonely girl -> green#eulogy to a rock band -> red#ive had it up to here -> make believe#etcetcetc its so cool
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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Dancing on the moon 🌕
#micas art#twst#twst fanart#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#silver vanrouge#twst silver#ive had so little time to draw lately its crazyyy genuinely losing my mind over here#though behold!! the cutest little scene ever!! straight from silver's dreams 🫶#i like to think he had all sorts of fun dreams with lilia when he was younger and this drawing came from that#i needed to make something sweet to cheer me up after last week and these two always do the trick 🥲#the song linked is what i believe they wouldve been dancing to. specifically the second half 🫶
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Purple sop purple sop purple so
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v the embalmer#identity v ask blog#unconcerned art#i cant believe this is the one that brings me back into the game. just to read the event like ten times. i refuse to play any matches#i wish watso.n could have interacted/ played a much bigger role than. he did#also i was being dumb n misunderstood Stuff so i scribbled down that hes still a bit sus#im gonna ramble about it here cos idk where else to talk about it im going insaneeeee. so spoiler warning for the event#my dumbass thought they were implying that laverne was the lost daughter which didnt make any sense to me#because the tree n the fact the fathers name is laverne doesnt add up#it took me like three reads to realize they were implying that yr was the lost girl. im so dumb. punches myself#the timeline sort of checks out? assuming laverne is 20ish n yr was 10+ when all That went down#the bevil guy was like 62. he had 30 years to Suddenly Change Heart#but also. did the guy just. purposely find laverne n have him be the butler just so he could Do That#it was half a year before his death too. what. what was going on there. if i were the maid i would have flipped my shit too#ok anyway. i still cant fucking believe watso.n didnt show up for like half the investigation. because he was. getting wick#wick. a police dog. that. idk. just ask le.strade???? they really needed an excuse to bring alice in instead of. dr fucking watso.n#i should seriously get around to actually reading sherlock holmes ive decided just cultural osmosis is not enough#on the list of classics i should also read: picture of dorian gray. for. reasons#okay i got all that out im sane again (lie) (laverne i have so many questions for youuuuuuu ughhhhhh)#alao for the record. drawing laverne did fix me. slides off the table
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I'm so mad actually I can't believe some people took this scene in chapter 3 and turned it into a who's right about their grief when the scene in chapter 4 literally has ivypool saying I don't mean to make it all about me- haven't thought much about how dovewing is handling her own grief- people read chapter 3 and to me it seems as if chapter 4 doesn't even exist and the rest of what ivypool says in chapter three after saying this doesn't as well
“Dovewing, I’m truly sorry that Rowankit died. But losing a sickly kit—a kit you’ll be reunited with in StarClan one day—is different from losing a full-grown cat who was just coming into her own as a warrior. A cat who doesn’t exist anywhere—who is just gone.”
ignored this and what was said and called it a day
#im so done i cant take it anymore how can you read something like this and view it like that wheres the nuance ivypool right what??? this-#scene is literally ivypool speaking on their grief and their mind ivypool literally says i dont mean to make this all about me-#ive done so little to make sure dovewing is okay she also lost a kit ivypool realized that dovewing understood her fears mean nothing to yo#hello its right there read it ivypool says one shitty thing in chapter three then goes back on it no one cares like okay what the hell sure#dovewing shouldve been mad here wrong dovewing was being understanding throughout the whole convo dammmmmmm she knows ivypool is letting-#their grief eat away at them one of the few scene where these two actually get talk anything out in oots those two barely talked and kept-#secrets away from one another so why would dove start snapping back please be so for real!! i know these two had a scene in the updated-#ultimate guide talked it out for once and left closer than they ever been thats again what is need here dovewing should have been angry-#here andddd what was that going to doing here actually nothing at all#like damm read the rest of the chapters too becuz the whole icewing part skipped over just for more dumbass discourse over whether ivypool-#was right or wrong or dovewing should be angry here thats not even what the third/fouth chapter is about i need to stop writing#no no i cant believe it is that your only takeaway man like come on chapter three then chapter four ivy obviously again feels more regret-#well ivy shouldnt have said that buddy of course ivy is going to open up about it for one they dont believe dovewing can relate them fully-#and dove asked so youre saying because she asked ivy ivy shouldve compared their child death to doves were going to in circles#ivypools heart#ivypool#dovewing#icewing#probably shouldnt tag miss icey but she is here too so whatver guess she stays
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waow
#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly#in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it#or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder#a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like#the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol#but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was#it was just me and brandy for a while#but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today#i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed#i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most#on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO#the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol#im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess#ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry#idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account#keyword some. i know this is tumblr#but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol#i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place#idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise#but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this#maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it#bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me
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And a sort of alternate version for the last Fuuta/cry prompt, from a normal au that lives in my brain -- some hurt/comfort with Mappi :')
Mahiru hummed as she stirred. The apartment was filled with the wonderful aroma of her cooking. A door around the corner clicked. Perfect timing, she thought with a smile.
She hadn’t been sure Fuuta would wake up in time for dinner. He’d been out cold ever since she picked him up from his dorm room. Well, he’d probably recount it as kidnapping, since he was in no state to actually agree to come along. But that was the very reason she’d dragged his weak form out of there – no one at the school had noticed that calls stopped going through to him, or that his social media pages all vanished overnight, or that he’d stopped attending classes. When Mahiru finally made her way to his dark, trash-piled room, she discovered him with a 39 degree fever and rambling frantically about death. She needed to take matters into her own hands.
And that’s exactly what she did. Fuuta could hardly keep food down, after his diet of instant meals, energy drinks, and painkillers (if the discarded containers around his room were any clue), so she replaced them with homemade soups and teas. She traded his rumpled bed for her own, which was sweet-scented and well-lit. Mikoto had even helped with a change of pajamas for him.
Mahiru had taken the liberty of calling Fuuta’s sister to let her know the situation, though it was difficult to find her information without Fuuta’s phone. She couldn’t find it anywhere in his dorm. She’d also given Shidou a call, and he’d stopped by the first day to check in. He said Fuuta should be more coherent by day three, at least.
Mahiru could always count on him for reliable information. Sure enough, soft steps approached from behind.
“Good to see you, sleepyhead~” She smiled over her shoulder. Though in a better state than when she found him, Fuuta was still a bit of a mess. He looked pale and thin in Mikoto’s clothes, which were already big on him. His eyes were bleary. Strands of bright hair stuck out at all angles. His expression was dull, taking in the cozy apartment.
“Mahiru made your favorite for dinner! I bet you’re hungry.”
“I… don’t want it… ” His expression was uncharacteristically blank.
Mahiru giggled; he must be really tired to be denying food. “Oh, of course you do!”
“No, you… you don’t understand…”
“Come take a seat, it’s ready now.”
He took a step forward. “Mahiru…”
“You should be more careful, Fuuta-kun! Next time you come down with something, you should really let somebody know. It’s a miracle I came and found you in time, hm?”
She spun to set things on the table. The pride in her masterpiece faded away as his expression twisted up. His hands drifted up shakily to his face, and he started to sob.
“Fuuta-kun!”
Mahiru hurried to him. His knees gave out as she wrapped her arms around him. He leaned down into her, his breath hitching and hiccupping as he tried to tell her something. “You shouldn’t… if you knew what I… I…”
“Shhh, hey. Shhh...”
After a moment of broken phrases and body-wracking sobs, he regained his balance and pulled away from her. There was a look in his eyes Mahiru had seen in the last few days, when he was trying to talk through his delirium. She’d chalked it up to feverishness, but she now saw that this raw, revolted horror was something real.
“I fucked up.”
The simple sentence sent him into a fresh wave of panic. He tried to step backwards and hide his face away, but she tugged his sleeve backward. Normally she wouldn’t be able to forcibly move him anywhere, but for the second time, he was too weak to stop her.
“Just breathe,” she said. “You can tell me.”
Mahiru had known Fuuta for long enough to hear the range of his voice – the excited chatter, the snarky muttering, the grating yelling. In all that time, she’d never once heard him sound like this. His words cracked and wobbled. Sometimes it was so hushed that Mahiru had to press her ear closer just to understand.
And by the time he finished, she understood why.
“I didn’t know,” he kept repeating. “I’d never h-have done it if… if…”
“It’s okay,” was all Mahiru could repeat in turn, through her own tears. It wasn’t quite the truth, but it wasn’t a lie, either. It was what Fuuta needed to hear, and that’s all that mattered.
“I just want to take it back… but there’s no way… What am I – what am I supposed to do?”
“We’ll figure it out, alright? It’ll be okay.” She guided him around. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay? I’ll bring the food in to you.”
He paused. His teary eyes studied her in bewilderment. “W-why?”
“Eh? Well how else are you supposed to eat from there…?”
“No, I mean,” he swallowed hard. “Why would you do that? You… you don’t hate me…?”
“Oh, Fuuta-kun.”
She wrapped her arms around him again. This time, he willingly returned the gesture. He grabbed onto her for dear life, and Mahiru was suddenly struck with just how much of a miracle it really had been, that she’d found him in the state he was.
She held him close, one palm spread on his back, the other twisted through his hair.
“Not at all. Now, let me feed you something, okay?”
“... Okay.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#fuuta kajiyama#its a mix of her traditional caretaking methods: the home cooking the clean comfy home the sweet reassuring voice#shes like an angel to someone so deep in fever omg#also miss i-let-others-do-what-they-believe would take a long time before discussing crime details#her first instinct is just To Care which -- while not entirely healthy lol -- separates her from some of the others#the others would ask a lot of questions just to get a grip on the situation but shed wait until he was ready to tell her details#its not inherently shippy since ive pictured similar interactions with everyone#but you can definitely take it romanticly#hes a bit more willing to admit his guilt/open up in this one than my other one because of the situation --#being in a comfy home and still being half-feverish makes him a bit more talkative#the one detail not featured here is that (platonic or romantic) mahiru would say 'i love you' and repeat how much she cares#and by this time in their relationship fuuta knows this isnt some grand confession of love -- its just how mappi is#i think if mahirus crime had happened by now shed react a little different#plus i like the thought of her going to fuuta first with the news because they were able to share this moment#drabbles
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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admitting ur a larrie and saying it brought you to your current ship is such a brave personal choice. this comment should be an official diagnosis in the dsm-5.

#ive had this in my drafts for ages but ppl are being weird so im here to be a hater sorry#and this just feels timely with people being attacked for telling people to get reading comprehension#like if ur ever comparing ur ship to larry then plz do some personal reflection#larries are fucking batshit off the wall out of this world unhinged#ships are supposed to be lighthearted and fun and something that makes you happy#i have plenty of fun w max and daniel content#but i cannot keep reading the unhinged levels some people are reaching w l*stappen#it’s transitioning from ‘i like the content and their interactions and ao3!’#into ‘i am inventing evidence and connecting dots and genuinely believe these two men are fucking’ like i fear its not fun and games anymore#this is nothing against l*stappenies themselves at all. keep on keeping on#this is all about the weird ones#theres weirdos in any ship but the number of them keeps increasing w this particular one so i just wanted to say. plz do not be larries.#(sorry for the asterisks like l*stappen is a slur i just dont want it to show up in the tag lol)
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Post that has rerouted my brain
#this is legitimately so world changing for me because never before in my whole like 2 years of undyne obsession Ive really just stuck to-#-my own observations about her character. but OML.#after reading this. for the very first time ive had this absolutely mind crushing moment where someone else has made an insanely correct-#observation about her and her character and just all these little things that are lightly implied THAT I SOMEHOW DIDNT NOTICE BEFORE!!!!!!#AND WHEN I SAY THIS HAS CHANGED ME. THIS PERSON WHO POSTED THIS. THIS PERSON THEY ARE SO CORRECT OMG#AND I JUST#DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY CONNECTIONS THIS HAS JUST MADE IN MY MIND. THE SUDDENLY MAKING SENSE OF EVERYTHING THAT I AM EXPERIENCING.#YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW OH MY GOD#this isnt even just a ''im begging you to read this post i found its rlly good''#its a ''THIS POST I FOUND MAKES AN INCREDIBLY CORRECT POINT THAT I SOMEHOW NEVER MADE BEFORE AND MY BRAIN HAS BEEN CHANGED FOREVER NOW.''#THIS IS. THIS IS SO#its just really a lot to me to see someone who originally didn't really think much into undyne really#but there by making one small crucial observation here it has just blown my world of this character and just who she is etc etc efce ceecceg#i honestly cant even believe i never even picked up on this until literally just now while just searching undyne on google-#-because of how much i needed to see something new of her#AND DID I!!!!!!!!!#that is insane to me how did i never even see this this is changing my everything i am so in love with this post#undyne appreciation my absolute fucking beloved#undyne#undertale#undyne undertale#hdjdjdkskskaaass omgggg hdhdjdndnddn guyss you don't even know#this might not even seem like a lot but it has just opened up so much for me i promise I'll make it all make more sense one day trust me ily
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I still haven't recovered from Sydney actually oh my god. I went a little um. Crazy. On the snapshots. And I started trying to figure out which pose to do with who and if I should do something special with yooh because she's my ult bias but ultimately I was like well but I love them all. Hearts for everyone. So the first six were in Melbourne and genuinely every single one of them was magical and I don't regret a single bit of that money because I'm first of all so happy I got to thank all of them in person but also I'm going to treasure those pics forever but then Sydney was like. The Big one. You know. AND SHE PRANKED ME.
[I removed the image because I got Scared people who know me could see the image and realise it's me even with the blur lol. She's giving me bunny ears]
So now I have six hearts and yooh doing this which is better than I could have ever imagined 😭 the spike in my heartrate halfway back to the SVIP hitouch line when I opened my photos and realised....
#not roulette#yea i still have the crisis hair dw about it#see this is one of those moments where if i were attracted to women i would be COOKED#i didnt even realise it was possible to love her even more but somehow that concert experience managed to do it#like fuck. i get why some fans go crazy#to be front row and have them looking right at you is an experience i will never forget#but i mean. my most delulu thought ive ever had about her is that i think we could get lavender married and make it work#because i think we are kinda similar in a lot of aspects#e.g. her speech at melbourne hit me really hard because i felt like i would feel the same way in thwt circumstance#but thats kind of one of those delulu thoughts thats not really actionable#and as someone who is capable of romantic love the latter definitely just feels. more unhinged.#its just this crazy intense... nothing emotion#its kind of interesting being asexual with a romantic orientation because like. there are a lot of neural pathways in my brain which#feel like they should fire but just Dont#and how the point at which they dont nonetheless almost completely arbitrarily but reliably differs for men and women#there arent enough words in the english language for these things#its really frustrating#not to drop the asexual manifesto but so many things feel so different to each other and i really truly believe its not just the asexuality#but because sexuality is somewhat of the final boss of intense emotions there is not nearly as much urgency to unpack any of the rest of th#subleties if you can just use that as a yes/no barometer#but i LOVE her#in every way that i am capable#and im just so happy she is still here with us#like im having somewhat of a y/n moment rn but its not really about that im the end because im not usually the kind of fan who would even g#all in on the parasocial benefits but i just really did want to say thank you. partially out of the semi delusional belief i think it would#make a difference rn. i told her i would support her no matter what happens in the future. because its true#and that support has nothing to do with desperately needing to get back into that 1:1 snapshot in future although i would not say no#it was built on a genuine love for what the group has accomplished and all of the things they put out and i dont need anything from any of#them other than promising theyll do their best to keep going in the future#hey did you know in business class they ask what wine you want with your meal and then just keep filling the glass back up again
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jan 2024/oct 2021
vici redraw
#crebsketch#dumping here for archival purposes again#ocs#vici#my little guy ever <3#i can't believe ive had him for so long.#it will continue too i know. im biased towards him. token edgy oc you make when you are...i forgot how old i was.#very much a “the horrors persist but we stay silly” fella (by going customer service mode at all times)#that is the repression my friend#i scroll up and i forget he's my pfp rn. do not perceive me#i remember making him with purple/black/white color schemes in mind. and going all teehee its the ace flag. i have news for you now girlie#it was not just a bit#im also literally redrawing another piece rn that i did at the same time as the oct 2021 portrait. like i drew em on the same day i remembe
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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okay. i have debated making a post like this on and off for about the past decade. and i was always like "well, it didn't directly involve me, and i have 0 evidence, my memory of the details is a little shaky, and i don't think it needs to be a huge deal." but it has been weighing on me more and more recently, and i feel like i should at least tell my mutuals this story because i think about it a lot. and i think it's perhaps a conversation that should be had.
but i wanna preface this first with: this is not an accusation or an assertion that anyone necessarily did anything. not only is this information alleged, it's also something i heard secondhand and not directly from the person (and about 10 years ago) so it would be really hard for me to verify its veracity. wanna make that extremely clear before i imply that someone might have committed a crime. it's a very big MIGHT.
but here's the story: i was on twitter a lot as a teenager and jack and dean used to be pretty friendly with their fans. it was fun, they'd reply to people's tweets, they even commissioned a friend of mine for graphic design work which i thought was really cool. jack, to my knowledge, never dmed any fans in a purely social context. like, he dmed my friend to comission work from her, but they weren't like, chatting bc he didn't do that. dean, however, was a chatter. i never personally talked to dean, but i had a friend who had a friend (that's 2 degrees of separation between me and this story for those keeping count) that used to talk to him i think regularly. one day my friend came into the group chat saying her friend had been messaging dean (we are all about 15/16 here and he would've been like mid-20s) and he was asking her what kind of porn she was into. at the time, i think we as teenage girls were so used to predatory men that all we really did was make fun of him behind his back for a few minutes (iirc he had just gone through a breakup so we were all like "wow, very pathetic that this is what you do when you're depressed"), but i don't think it even occurred to any of us to tell anyone about it. it's like one of those things that happens to you as a kid and ur like fine but you look back on it as an adult and you're like "holy shit how did that adult man think that was okay?"
i thought about it a lot when the cody ko allegations blew up bc imo it's a fairly similar situation, like the victim wasn't even really bothered by it, but it's still obviously wrong. but it just makes me think like, for every cody ko who gets publicly called out, there are probably 10 dean dobbs who just get away with it because the victim never had any intention of speaking up. youtubers just aren't who they say they are. a lot happens when that camera isn't rolling.
#debating whether to actually post this bc it still feels like accusing someone of a crime i have no evidence for#obvs i believe that person bc i had 0 reason to believe they'd make it up#and a lot of precedent of youtubers saying questionable things to teenage girls (mike trueman comes to mind)#so to me it is a very believable story but obviously it's so possible smth got lost in translation here#maybe it is all a misunderstanding and i've accidentally thought this guy was a creep for years#i hope so but i just don't think so#and regardless i think it is just important to remember to be safe around strangers online#esp when they have power or influence in an online space#and teenage girls: you don't have to accept that kind of treatment. it is not just a normal part of life#if a man makes you uncomfortable idc who he is you can and should say something about it#update: after leaving this in the drafts for a min ive decided to post this#i've alluded to this story before but i think knowing who im talking about does kind of change the context#bc i know dean specifically has a reputation for being a good guy#and well. listen people are complicated i actually do not think (assuming this is true) that he is like evil#i do think it was a fucked up thing to do tho and i do think he knew it was wrong
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heyy I love your blog and love that you're reconnecting. I wasn't gonna say anything, but as the posts keep coming, I have to point out that despite everything, rolls and records just aren't the end all be all for indigenous ancestry. while I understand why folks (espeeeecially cherokees) would be extra protective of their identity, tribal enrollment, etc... this particular requirement can easily erase afro-indigenous histories.
my grandparents pointed out which relatives on our family tree were native, likely mixed. (I'll spare you the details, lol. but I was suspect for a long time, and your posts had me looking much harder!) while I can't find a direct ancestor in the Dawes Rolls, I'm seeing folks who seem to be relatives. there's substantial overlap on a rather uncommon surname linked to the slavers who owned and later held my family in indentured servitude (sharecropping) for 5+ generations in eastern Tennessee. The highest density of this surname (outside of Barbados!) is found in Oklahoma today, where I also have relatives.
records of my kin are generally spotty (a good # just with first names) and nonexistent before around 1850 because they were considered property until 1865, and so not recorded in the census.
what *is* recorded in the first records is that all of my relatives were illiterate up until 3 generations ago. this rules out the ability to apply remotely. and while there was an option for Dawes applications to be taken in person / recorded orally, the one drop rule (plus the promise of land allotment to those accepted) was something that I can't imagine visibly black and indigenous people were able to get past. recognizing afro-indigenous folks would have meant an upheaval in law, and in the colonial hierarchy of who has the right to what.
I don't live anywhere near the OG lands and my family did little more than attend a few powwows growing up... but I do read up on Cherokee culture and language, and don't feel any need to be enrolled or given access to Cherokee resources, etc... I'm content to appreciate from afar & online, and uplift native stories & issues when I can until a natural connection arises. I don't have a lot of time to do so, but I'm continuing the search for proof outside of my grandparents' physical features and stories.
I also have relatives who were Freedmen, and though I want solidarity for all people, cannot ignore the anti-black sentiments Cherokee bureaucracy and unfortunately a looott of modern native culture has displayed in barring and diminishing afro-indigenous membership and ancestry.
I am at peace with the fact that I may never find a paper trail, which though hard-won, is also a privilege largely afforded to folks with white/native heritage, and I think that should be acknowledged.
just wanted to offer a different perspective on this very white website, lmao
wado. & wish u all the best
Yea, very true! There's definitely a lot of anti-black racism and of course slavery in Cherokee history [and still some today] and this stuff really does need to be said. Iirc, many people recorded as freedmen were likely mixed afro-indigenous but were just recorded as freedmen. I'm not as experienced with freedmen and afro-indigenous history admittedly, and that's definitely a glaring gap that I need to work on filling.
#i will say though that where i live black families will often have fake family stories similar to white families#and i say this because ive had someone tell me a story that didnt line up [dates not working out etc]#and when i said 'hey that really doesnt make since when looking at the history' they were like 'this isnt some fake white family story'#we talked it thru and they do believe me now but idk. hell even my partner [black family in the south] told me his dad said they had a#cherokee ancestor and showed a photo that 'didnt look white'#and theres definitely a trend of mixed black + white people identifying as native instead of mixed around here in the south#obviously im not saying that any of these disprove your point or your ancestry at all. this is definitely smth i needed to be told and#im should have been more aware of this. im definitely still new to all this so im grateful for any corrections#and different perspectives#**** DIDNT LOOK BLACK my partners supposed ancestor 'didnt look black' idk how that happened#asks#cherokee#reconnecting
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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