#learn python the hard way

[peascribbles]

𝑰𝒏 𝑨 𝑭𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘

Your dragon enjoys basking for hours at a time, sweetened by your company. Your meddlesome mortal needs interfere. He'll oblige them if it means you'll stay. dragon!sylus x gn!reader, suggestive themes, dragon tendencies, horn fondling (not a euphemism), using his wing as a parasol; 1.5k wc

When the sun climbs to its summit each day, he flees the shrouded depths of his lair to seek it out.

He lies motionless on his back, wings splayed out wide under him, on his favourite perch overlooking the plains beyond Tarus City. Blissful as he luxuriates in the searing noon heat. No visible movement of his chest nor any flickering behind his eyelids. Limbs inert.

Sunbathing is too mild a term for this pastime of his. Sunbathers hum and breathe and make idle chatter. Sunbathers must flip themselves every so often to not burn. What your dragon does has more resemblance to embracing scorching oblivion. Some incorrigible, archaic ritual where the intention is seemingly to absorb the sun itself, inanimate as a rock.

Which is quite the predicament for you, given you've been held captive on top of him for over an hour, his arms locked around your waist. The unforgiving light scalds your exposed back, nape, and legs. Any longer trapped here, and you'll be cooked alive.

Your attempts to squirm out of his grip make his arms constrict around you further, a python's suffocating coil. Pounding fists against his hard chest til they ache. No response. Irate hisses rising into whisper-shouts met with tomblike silence. Nothing rouses him out of his sunbaked catatonia.

You have no choice but to use your final resort.

Stretching your arms forward, you grip the base of the horns which crown his head and stroke them, twisting your wrists in circular motions. Lavishing particular attention on the pinkish, tender area where horn and scalp meet, hidden in the silken nest of his hair. His most sensitive spot.

No other soul has touched me here, he told you through a shaky breath when you first reached for his horns. Tentative yet curious.

Thank the stars for that, you thought, seeing how he unravelled for you despite your inexperience, the most pliant he'd ever been. Your movements were clumsy, unused to handling the unusual growths, and still he sighed with profound satisfaction. Ravenous when he took you that night.

Since those early days, you've had plenty of time to refine your technique. You work your way up the length of them, and back down, slow caresses with fingers which have learned every cragged knob, whorl, and ridge along the protrusions.

He awakens with a gutteral and sonorous growl, nearly a snarl, which rattles your bones.

Freeing one arm from around you, the tips of a clawed hand rake up your back, your sensitised nerves pricking in response. They come to rest around your nape, grooves forming on the delicate skin there. You're not sure if it's a warning or a promise.

"Speak," he demands, voice and slit eyes like smouldering coals.

Satisfied now that you've got his attention, you stop stroking him, and he does let out a vicious snarl at that. Claws digging in, nudging his horns back into your hand. You correct this grievous error posthaste, and talk only when he seems appeased.

"Need you to let me up, beloved."

The vice of his remaining arm around your waist tightens contrary to your request.

You can't find it in you to be surprised. It's in his nature to be possessive in his efforts to guard prized treasures, stow them close at hand; an instinct that turns on you when you're within reach. If it wasn't for this particular sensitivity of his, the prospect of prying yourself away would be no more feasible than a thief escaping with even a single golden coin from his hoard.

"Why should I?" he asks in a low rumble, suppressed thunder.

"If you don't, I'll turn into smoked meat." You run your hands back down his horns, smiling when an involuntary, pleased trill escapes him. "Remember, us humans don't have tough skin like you, nor scales to protect themselves from the harsh sun. We can't withstand it for very long."

He squints disbelievingly at you. Using the leverage of his claws on your neck, he moves your head around, up and down, left and right, studying you with a serious expression.

"You seem fine to me."

"It's not my face, but the rest of me that's suffering the most damage." Once you reach the base of his horns again, you let go of them and slide your hands down to cup his face, tamping the protest that boils in him. Your steady gaze sinking into those molten pools of his.

"Trust me in this, my dragon. I know my body best." You follow the hard planes of his jaw up to scratch behind his ears, and he leans into your touch. An encouraging sign. One more push. "I'm not plotting to leave you. I only want to get out of the sun for a moment."

For a few beats, he simply keeps you affixed on top of him. Half lidded eyes regarding you with an intensity that stokes hot embers in your belly, licking up your spine.

He mulls the verity of your words, flexing and easing his grip on your neck, caught in indecision. Should he let the thief run away with his precious coin? Keep you bound to him, or release you?

You see his decision is made when his pupils distort into narrow slits, a triumphant upward slant to his lips.

"Neither of those will do," he murmurs.

His claws unfurl from your nape, undoubtedly leaving marks that will linger there. The unyielding arm around your waist stays. He doesn't set you free; instead, he rolls to his side, cushioning your head from the ground with the crook of his elbow. The rest of you lands onto the dirt.

This makeshift pillow is rigid. Rather than soft flesh, hard black scales cover his forearms. An ache in your neck looms in the near future. Still, you cannot budge. In this new position you're pulled even closer, face-first into his chest, staring at your bewildered reflection in the heart-gem embedded there.

You glance skyward in time to see a broad wing stretch out above you. Obscures the clouds, casting a great shadow. The strangest canopy.

"There. You're away from the sun. Needy mortal." He chuffs and clicks his tongue. Settles into a comfortable position. "Don't interrupt me again."

As quickly as he'd sprung back to life, he closes his eyes to bask again, returning to some other realm your human sensibilities can't reach.

His brusque manner sparks a flicker of irritation in you. You hadn't been given an opportunity to say a word. Determined to rouse him again, if only to have your grievances heard, you resume the delicate attack on his horns—but aside from a subtle twitch, you garner no response. A clear enough message: he won't be disturbed.

"Insufferable lizard," you mutter.

To your mild annoyance, this impromptu arrangement of his making succeeds in cooling your ailing body down, restoring your energy little by little. There's nothing to do but lie here, ensnared in his arms. Time slows into treacle.

In this quiet refuge, now that your scaleless, vulnerable body is no longer in peril, the sublime begins to unfurl, petal by petal.

You examine the membrane of his wing shielding you, a living canvas hung over the sturdy frame of his bones. Once dark as his polished obsidian scales, the expanse of skin is translucent, incandescent in the sun, unveiling an intricate web of blood vessels beneath it. As if you're sitting inside an exquisite tapestry, diffused with muted sunset.

It takes an hour to trace every branching vein in his wing to its end.

His face is the next muse for your wandering eyes. You turn to face him. Other than enduring warmth, there are no signs of life next to you. He might as well be a marble statue—a magnum opus, to be sure, sculpted by a master's hands. A study in stillness. Peace looks breathtaking on him. The space between his brows unmarred. Fine, silverspun lashes fanning over his cheek. Sunlight kissing his features with the reverence of an old lover.

You want to kiss him too. But you won't, not until he's with you again.

While you wait, you take in lungfuls of the air he isn't using. His scent fills you. He smells of the earth. Not fresh soil, yet to be tilled, but of broken land; blood-drenched, soaked in rusting blades. You burrow your nose against his neck to take in more of it. Closer now, hidden undertones, of the first dew-sweet sprout that pushes through the gaps in cobblestones, of wild weeds that snake over crumbling spires. Life baptised in fire.

His heart begins to stir underneath your palm. Listen close. Feel how it beats for you. Know that this is what it means to love an untamed creature such as him, a being made for sun and wind and cloying heat.

Your body smeared with dirt. Suspended in amber glow. Heaven, in the shade of a dragon's wing.

[katiefrog217]

Walks with Aziraphale were always so amusing, especially when he took one of his different forms. Tonight, Crowley took note of a few different reactions:

1. Much to his bemusement, quite a few people crossed the road entirely just to avoid him (he didn't know why, he thought this particular form was very charming).

2. Those who didn't avoid them either didn't notice at all, or cooed adoringly at his companion. A few snake enthusiasts tried their best to impart advice upon him (Yes, he was aware it was a chilly night to have a python outside. Yes, he was aware that he had a few extra rolls on him, and he would appreciate it if they didn't body shame him, please and thank you).

3. He had a particularly interesting encounter with a stranger who tried his best to buy Aziraphale from him (he didn't know whether to laugh or be offended on his companion's behalf when the person subsequently dropped their price offering upon learning he was male. He turned them down, of course).

This just in: local vampire hunter tries his hardest to look cool in front of his crush.

I said soon and I guess I meant now haha.

I could help but draw Crowley and Aziraphale from @mrghostrat 's new Vampire AU (thanks for the permission btw!!) and I'll be damned if I couldn't pass up the opportunity to draw Ball Python Azi after being deeply entrenched in Ball python morphs and drawing them for the past few years.

I'm also a big sucker (har har) for any kind of vampire au, so I was incredibly excited to draw this!! I'm still not confident in my ability to draw Crowley (or jackets oof) but I tried.

On that, while I have ya'll here, a few fun facts about Ball Pythons and Morphs:

Azi looks to me to be based on a Blue Eyed Lucy (Leucistic) ball python. Leucistic is different from Albino - both lack pigment, but Leucistics only lack pigments in parts, rather than entirely like with Albinism. The fastest way to tell the difference is the eye color.

Blue Eyed Lucies have eye colors that range from Black to Blue - blue obviously being the more popular eye color.

The whiter the snake, the more sought after it is (not all Lucies are pure white, depends on the morph combo)

Unlike a majority of ball python morphs, Blue Eyed Lucies don't have a distinct gene combo that defines them. Generally, their morphs included Mocha, Mojave, Lesser, Butter, etc. The combos are generally endless. A Super Mojave (Mojave bred to Mojave) will produce a fairly grey/white snake, but their heads tend to be a very dusty grey, and isn't an ideal combo for a Lucy.

A snake that seems incredibly white when hatched may change color as it ages and become less white. This is common for all morphs, and their patterns define themselves and get stronger with age.

In breeding, males are generally less desired than females, and run at a lower price generally. This is because a single male can breed multiple females, so it's less effective to have more males in a clutch than females.

Obesity in snakes IS a real thing, and generally hard to manage if you do have an obese snake. Snakes tend to retain weight well, so exercise is really the only method to help bring their weight down (plus smaller meals). Good luck if you have an obese snake that isn't particularly inclined to be active.

Ball Pythons generally tend to have what's called a 1,000 gram wall - in which a snake that hits 1k grams stops eating and will not gain more weight. No one is 100% sure why this phenomena happens, but it's incredibly common.

Not a fact but opinion: Paradox ball Pythons are my favorite morph. If you want to see some incredibly interesting genetics, look them up.

[yoneda-emma]

This is sort of an indirect addition to this ask maddy got about learning rust, I haven't actually gotten to learning rust yet but I do want to talk about an incident I recently had with python (I think with C the reasons why you'd rather not use it are fairly obvious) So recently tried to implement a basic matrix class in python, and since I wanted to do a whole thing where I did my own implementations of numerical optimization and more general linear algebra stuff, I tried to do it "properly" and make it "robust" and everything, but without installing any external libraries.

And to me, that obviously involved making sure that the matrix is formatted sensibly, i.e. that a matrix contains m rows of n numbers each. This seemed like a very obvious thing you should do in any serious piece of code, since if the contents of a matrix are accidentally formatted in a weird way, then you might get errors, or, significantly worse, python might just decide that it "can handle them" anyways and do some really unintuitive dumb stuff that's really hard to debug. (See this older post of mine for an example of how the pythonic willingness to work with bad inputs leads to really weird unintuitive behavior).

Turns out this is not something you can do directly in python without installing external type checking libraries! And I didn't want to just loop through all the contents and check their type individually during object creation, since that felt incredibly slow, stupid and inefficient. It didnt help that my algorithms theory exam was coming up soon, which meant I was thinking about asymptotic runtimes all day.

And so I was like "well surely at least it's easy to check for a matrix being a 2D array with consistent row sizes". However, at this point, with dawning horror, I came to a realization:

and at this moment I could just feel pretty much all of my remaining "python is easy to work with" attitude turning into dust and soaring away in the wind. If anyone here knows a way to enforce a given argument being a 2D array of numbers with consistent row sizes that doesn't involve O(n*m) overhead during object creation and that can be implemented in python using only internal modules (no external type checkers that need to be installed manually first) please tell me lol

[kitkatt0430]

Welp, I've been using external methods of auto-backing up my tumblr but it seems like it doesn't do static pages, only posts.

So I guess I'll have some manual backing up to do later

Still, it's better than nothing and I'm using the official tumblr backup process for my smaller blogs so hopefully that'll net the static pages and direct messages too. But. My main - starstruckpurpledragon - 'backed up' officially but was undownloadable; either it failed or it'd download a broken, unusable, 'empty' zip. So *shrugs* I'm sure I'm not the only one who is trying to back up everything at once. Wouldn't be shocked if the rest of the backups are borked too when I try to download their zips.

There are two diff ways I've been externally backing up my tumblr.

TumblThree - This one is relatively straight forward in that you can download it and start backing up immediately. It's not pretty, but it gets the job done. Does not get static pages or your direct message conversations, but your posts, gifs, jpegs, etc are all there. You can back up more than just your own blog(s) if you want to as well.

That said, it dumps all your posts into one of three text files which makes them hard to find. That's why I say it's 'not pretty'. It does have a lot of options in there that are useful for tweaking your download experience and it's not bad for if you're unfamiliar with command line solutions and don't have an interest in learning them. (Which is fair, command line can be annoying if you're not used to it.) There are options for converting the output into nicer html files for each post but I haven't tried them and I suspect they require command line anyway.

I got my blogs backed up using this method as of yesterday but wasn't thrilled with the output. Decided that hey, I'm a software engineer, command line doesn't scare me, I'll try this back up thing another way. Leading to today's successful adventures with:

TumblrUtils - This one does take more work to set up but once it's working it'll back up all your posts in pretty html files by default. It does take some additional doing for video/audio but so does TumblThree so I'll probably look into it more later.

First, you have to download and install python. I promise, the code snake isn't dangerous, it's an incredibly useful scripting language. If you have an interest in learning computer languages, it's not a bad one to know. Installing python should go pretty fast and when it's completed, you'll now be able to run python scripts from the command line/terminal.

Next, you'll want to actually download the TumblrUtils zip file and unzip that somewhere. I stuck mine on an external drive, but basically put it where you've got space and can access it easily.

You'll want to open up the tumblr_backup.py file with a text editor and find line 105, which should look like: ''' API_KEY = '' '''

So here's the hard part. Getting a key to stick in there. Go to the tumblr apps page to 'register' an application - which is the fancy way of saying request an API. Hit the register an application button and, oh joy. A form. With required fields. *sigh* All the url fields can be the same url. It just needs to be a valid one. Ostensibly something that interfaces with tumblr fairly nicely. I have an old wordpress blog, so I used it. The rest of the fields should be pretty self explanatory. Only fill in the required ones. It should be approved instantly if everything is filled in right.

And maybe I'll start figuring out wordpress integration if tumblr doesn't die this year, that'd be interesting. *shrug* I've got too many projects to start a new one now, but I like learning things for the sake of learning them sometimes. So it's on my maybe to do list now.

Anywho, all goes well, you should now have an 'OAuth Consumer Key' which is the API key you want. Copy that, put in between the empty single quotes in the python script, and hit save.

Command line time!

It's fairly simple to do. Open your command line (or terminal), navigate to where the script lives, and then run: ''' tumblr_backup.py <blog_name_here> '''

You can also include options before the blog name but after the script filename if you want to get fancy about things. But just let it sit there running until it backs the whole blog up. It can also handle multiple blogs at once if you want. Big blogs will take hours, small blogs will take a few minutes. Which is about on par with TumblThree too, tbh.

The final result is pretty. Individual html files for every post (backdated to the original post date) and anything you reblogged, theme information, a shiny index file organizing everything. It's really quite nice to dig through. Much like TumbleThree, it does not seem to grab direct message conversations or static pages (non-posts) but again it's better than nothing.

And you can back up other blogs too, so if there are fandom blogs you follow and don't want to lose or friends whose blogs you'd like to hang on to for your own re-reading purposes, that's doable with either of these backup options.

I've backed up basically everything all over again today using this method (my main is still backing up, slow going) and it does appear to take less memory than official backups do. So that's a plus.

Anyway, this was me tossing my hat into the 'how to back up your tumblr' ring. Hope it's useful. :D

[keysshifts]

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ//ʏ2ᴋ ᴇʀᴀ

ɴᴀᴍᴇ: ʀɪʟᴇʏ ʙʀᴇɴɴᴀɴ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ-ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ

ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇ/ꜱ: ᴋᴇʏꜱ

ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ: ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ

ᴀɢᴇ: 15

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ: 26ᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ

ɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀ: ɴᴏɴʙɪɴᴀʀʏ

ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ: ʙɪꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ

ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ: 170

ᴇᴛʜɴɪᴄɪᴛʏ: ꜰʀᴇɴᴄʜ/ʙʀɪᴛɪꜱʜ/ᴛᴜʀᴋɪꜱʜ

ʀᴀᴄᴇ: ᴀꜱɪᴀɴ/ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ

ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ: ʙʀɪᴛɪꜱʜ

ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: ᴘᴜʀᴇ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴɪᴄᴀʟɪᴛʏ

ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ: ʀᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ

ᴀᴄᴄᴇɴᴛ: ʙʀɪᴛɪꜱʜ, ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙɪᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜰʀᴇɴᴄʜ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɴ ɪɴ

ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇꜱ: ᴇɴɢʟɪꜱʜ, ꜰʀᴇɴᴄʜ, ᴛᴜʀᴋɪꜱʜ

Family

Name: James Fleamont Potter-Black

What I call them: Pops/Baba

Relation: My dad! I love my dad :3

Closeness: 10/10

Notes:

Half Turkish from his mom's side

Incredible cook

Deer animagus

Name: Regulus Arcturus Potter-Black

What I call them: Dad/papa

Relation: My fatherr <33 look at him go

Closeness: 9/10 - 10/10, I'm more of a James' daddy's boy but I love my dad so so much

Notes:

Half french

Better at getting away with pranks than pops

Black cat animagus

Name: Ivy Harper Potter-Black

What I call them: Ives/Ivy/Sissy/Abla/Fleur (as a nick to her name)

Relation: My big sister <3

Closeness: 10/10

Notes:

has a dark academia aesthetic that takes after my dad

she's in Gryffindor! she was going to be in Slytherin, but her "best friend" (I see you Ives) was in Gryffindor, and when she asked the hat granted it for her

we joke she's the perfect blend of pops and dad

refuses to have middle child syndrome, succeeds. I love her so much

calls me Corbeau when we're speaking in French

Sable animagus

Has a cat who prefers me over her

Name: Archie Milo Potter-Black

What I call them: Mills/Archie/Brethren/Abi/Flèche (as a nick for Archie-Archer)

Relation: Big Bro B]

Closeness: 10/10

Notes:

Hufflepuff boyy

has a full on jock/retro pop aesthetic that is sort of similar to pops but is a lot closer to auntie lily

first kid, so they were shocked when he turned out to be so different. we love him and his ways though lmao

Calls me Lapin when we're speaking French (I have a habit of scrunching my nose like a rabbit when thinking)

Wolf animagus

doesn't have a pet, has an owl

Magic

Wand: 55ish cm, made of spruce and contains dragon heartstring

Boggart: my parents being disappointed in me

Patronus: a budgie

Animagus: Fennec Fox

Notes

I'm the son of James Fleamont Potter-Black and Regulus Arcturus Potter-Black. I'm one of the heirs to the biggest fortune in the wizarding world. My parent's friend group consists of James and Regulus Potter-Black, Remus and Sirius Lupin-Black, Mary, Dorlene, Lily, Peter (who is not a traitor), Barty, and a few more spread out friends.

I've changed the Ravenclaw colors from silver to bronze as it should be

There is no war!! Voldemort tries to kill me but fails, and dies since he wants to save his first hortrux for me but never gets to. he tries to avada kedavra me with the intention of taking a part of my souls but it backfires. he kills my muggle nanny but not me, my dads were out at the time with my siblings, but I was at home because I was a baby and they were doing big kid activities

Dumbledoor hears wii music whenever he tries to read my mind

Lupin teaches DADA and Snape teaches potions, but after Lily rejects him, instead of becoming a creep, he becomes an actually good potions teacher

wands can be repaired by wand artisans, and most will offer their services for wands made in their shops for free

we're supposed to wear dress shoes, but I managed to sneak in my beat up red converse, and wear those instead

My parents (due to them both and everyone in their friend group being one) taught all me and my siblings to become animagi. Normally it's hard magic, but it's coded into our DNA since our parents are both animagi, and it's like learning a language - really hard once your brain learns the world, but easy when you're young enough and have someone teach you

I have an owl for messaging, but my pet is a snake, a banana ball python called banana bread, who's more like a cat who's overly affectionate. he likes to spend his days napping.

*all images found on pinterest and tumblr!

*picrew used: https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/2236443

[just-jordie-things]

Choso headcanons :)

okokok here's some random stuff i came up with.

choso would try very hard to learn how to do your hair for you. he usually has his hair up in buns, right? so he'll happily do that for you. but also will take the time to learn how to braid, or use tools like a curler/straightener to style it the way you like. even on days you don't necessarily style it, he also loves to just brush it for you. i think he'd find the action sweet and intimate.

always lets you try to food he makes (when eating in) or orders (when eating out) and would never get annoyed if you eat more of his food than your own. in fact i think he'd find it adorable <3

100,000,000% will get a matching tattoo with you. big or small, meaningful or silly/cute. if you suggest it he's booking an appt with his regular artist right away.

also he has a favorite tattoo artist that has done most of his sleeves and some others on his back and legs. choso loves tattoos. what he likes most about his are that you like to mindlessly trace them from time to time when you're lounging around together.

doting partner. never slacks off on the chores. never makes you feel like you're doing most of the work. often surprises you with a perfectly clean house and dinner cooking on the stove when he's home before you and has time to spare.

and speaking of doting. he's there for anything you need company for. a nail appt? he's chatting with your technician and playing pokemon go. grocery shopping? without fail, what a great excuse for walking around and holding your hand. gotta run to the pharmacy? he's happy to drive you and wait with you. no matter what you're doing, he's grateful to spend time with you.

he's more perceptive than most people give him credit for. but he can read your expression in a second. even if you're quick to go blank, he'll catch that frown or wince or shock before you've even realized you'd made that face out loud. if it's stress, he's holding your hand or wrapping an arm around your waist. if you're reacting to something that just happened but are trying to be subtle about it, he'll smirk and follow your line of sight to see what had caught your attention. wordlessly, the two of you will practically gossip between yourselves.

ok last one on my mind. choso is a reptile person. he would definitely have a beardie or maybe a leopard gecko or a ball python or something. and he'd love that little thing. coos and baby talks it when it eats well or is just sittin in it's enclosure basking. if you're not a reptile person he'd be understanding and keep the enclosure somewhere that you won't see often and get creeped out. but if you are a reptile person he would be ecstatic to see you spend some enrichment time with the little creature. (i'm totally not projecting myself here hehehe)

[loving-family-poll]

Pleaaase we need more people to code their own bots pleaaaase. I'll even give you a starting point, and if you can do better than me (not hard) I'll be super proud! With that settled: I mainly used Selenium with Python. Please make use of the "https://tumblr.com/logout" URL, it will be slightly easier than coding another click. Remember to use a VPN, I used Proton VPN for $0 and switched to another IP whenever Tumblr started to get mad at me. Use Stack Overflow and W3Schools for more and less specific questions respectively. The most important part is to have fun and be yourself!

Code literacy is very important in this day and age, and having relevant projects is a fantastic way to learn since it shows you how all the relevant concepts work together! If you were wondering about my ulterior motives.

Love,

- Botting for Gcest

I was wondering whether or not to publish this but yeah im gonna do it we here at loving-family-poll believe in posting fraud tips

[independent-fics]

Inde Watches Leverage: Redemption

S02EP06 The Fractured Job

This live reaction is for @werewolfsmile because I promised to tell her when I watched it and here we are! I have heard many conflicting opinions on this so I’m going in with an open mind about it because I know there is discourse with the Eliot backstory. Honestly I’m just so excited to finally get more Eliot backstory so here we go.

Oh shiz when they said poisoned water they mean it oh goodness. Water should not do that. The small town cons always get me.

I do love Keith David though.

Hardison my beloved. You’re amazing. Living for the aliens in bucket hats socks.

Parker and Hardison looked so concerned when he said Oklahoma.

Breanna it’s a serious moment but I died when she was like “he has a father” like where did you think he came from.

Dang Parker right when he was getting in the mood.

“You haven’t talked to your dad in 60 years” Breanna I’m crying.

Ahhhh I thought Breanna was bringing a drink out to watch I love you. Eliot’s dad is like who is this child.

Breanna is like this guy fighting frackers and the way she looks at Eliot like yeah I see where you get it from.

I read about Keith David researching Kane’s playing of his role to mimic him to be able to act as his father and I really see it he’s so good. The stances the way they talk a little too. I love him.

But oof why is his father not even talking directly to him like ugh dude you’re not winning father of the year points rn.

Ooooo no photos of Eliot yeah you’re not winning any father of the year points rn at all buddy.

Ahhhhh “dropped me off” my heart

“Welcome to the cookout” Hardison I love you.

“Actually it’s kinda hard to prove the whole cancer thing in court… I’ll add it to the list” HARRY

Yeah me too Sophie and Eliot cons with daddy issues get me too.

Yes Eliot Hardison’s there for you any time as is Parker and everyone else so trust them my baby.

Oh goodness the eyepatch and the hat (which he took off Parker’s head how cute). How did a python take your eye buddy hahah “are you dying” oh gosh. He just looks old Parker my beloved.

Brenna I love your grift just forcing your way into situations. Confidence is key.

Oh goodness Sophie this American accent. It’s good but it’s wild hearing it from you.

THE GRUMPY TURN AND SHAKE OF HIS HEAD AND HANDS a+ Kieth David.

I love them just looking at each other and Parker and Eliot walking off and Breanna just like huh. So in sync.

HA his dad like why are there more people in my house.

Aw Parker showing Eliot she’s taking some bread to go. Cute.

Yeah that’s right take the food to go Billy you know you don’t want to leave that.

Breanna please give someone a nosebleed it will be funny. Very Nate Ford of you.

Breanna that is gross I love your excitement.

Doesn’t the water in the fridge come from the ground too would it be filtered enough?

Okay I knew that wasn’t a good spot for a bug it was so obvious under that desk mat.

Parker I love you.

Dang it AG you’ve disappointed me. Why am I surprised at this point.

They’re literally wearing the same outfit. Twinning with your dad I love it.

Ooo like I knew that’s what part of the issue was but hearing him say that he wasn’t here for his moms funeral my heart.

Ah yes I suspected the stolen valor was in play. He is a hero and of course Eliot saw him that way. Eliot wanted to be a hero like him. And unfortunately he learned the hard way that he wouldn’t get that either. But he’s a hero now with leverage or he’s trying to be. Not that he thinks so yet.

“Let em try” dang I love you Billy. “Like father like son” yeah Parker

Sorry I’m not an expert but idk if vegetables could cause the water to be on fire.

Ooo they even fight kinda the same love it.

I mean blowing it up is kinda the move. Especially because you gotta use water in the rig and on the flames and that’s not gonna work.

Eliot looking so surprised when his dad slapped him on the shoulder and looked so proud. Also loving the Carson hardware shirt even though I did notice the hardware store said it was closing??

“Next time I’ll finish telling you about the robot bodies” “damn it” I love you guys

Ahhhh Breanna and Billy a dynamic I don’t know I needed.

“Thanks to you Eliot’s been able to do something he hasn’t been able to do his entire adult life. Be happy” dang that sounds like an insult Harry.

I CANT EVEN TYPE THW QUOTES OUT THEYRE ALL MAKING ME CRY SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

“We lost a lot of years” “we still got some ahead of us” “stay out of trouble” “no sir” “That’s my boy” SOBBING OKAY

I’m gonna need redemption to get a bit better about the filming inconsistencies because Eliot had sweat on his shirt then turned away from his dad then didn’t.

But ahhhhh the way he smiles as they leave I love it so much.

Honestly really really did love this thought this was so well done. I did agree that early in og leverage it did seem like Eliot dealt with abuse as a kid and we still don’t know about the before he was dropped off at the hospital time in his life. But also I think it could just be Eliot being able to recognize those things and not being okay with the injustice of it all. Or it could be both again we don’t know before he was dropped off. But also to him he seems like he was a very well adjusted kid if he was abandoned so it does make me think maybe he was younger and you know the people he had raise him were his parents because that’s all he knew or all he cared about. I know it’s different for all adopted kids. But I really did love Keith David I think he played his father amazingly! I do have questions about like the stepbrother(? It wasn’t explicitly said that’s what the relationship was but maybe? Edit: I went back and he just said Mrs. Dewitt to the woman in the beginning so I don’t think he remarried or anything he just hung pictures of those kids who he coached instead which cold honestly. I think I read a post once where someone thought it was his stepbrother in the photos so I think that’s where I got confused.) and photos on the walls because if that was the situation that ain’t cool honestly. But yeah this episode made me cry can’t wait to see Keith David again in redemption!

[strangesthirdeye]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 2 : ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ғʟᴀᴠᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴏғ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ?

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

Prologue > Chapter 1 > Chapter 3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

• NUMBER FOUR PRIVET DRIVE •

"We swear, We don't know how it happened! One minute the glass was there and then

it was gone. It was like magic." Harry said, his ear hurt from being dragged by Uncle Vernon.

"The glass just poff, Uncle Vernon. Surely you know that kids like us wouldn't do such an impossible thing!" You said out of breath as Uncle Vernon pulled the collar of your shirt from behind. You struggle to be released from his custody.

"There's no such thing as magic!" Uncle Vernon shouted angrily as he dragged you both towards the cupboard under the stairs.

You yelped in protest and squirmed in Uncle Vernon's arms while Harry winced in pain at his ears being pulled hard by Uncle Vernon. Uncle Vernon unlocked the cupboard and threw you both into the cupboard before slamming the door and locking it. You cursed under your breath and brushed yourself from the wrinkles in your shirt while Harry sat quietly while rubbing his sore ear.

"That stupid man didn't use his brain at all to think that children like us would do such a thing." you huffed and leaned against the cupboard wall. Arms crossing over your chest, you frowned.

Harry glanced at you briefly. "but you saw it with your own eyes didn't you? the glass suddenly disappeared and reappeared after the python came out. That's quite impossible" Harry said and leaned next to you too, eyes looking at the locked cupboard door.

You scoffed. "If only Dudley didn't behave like an ape, this wouldn't happen. We wouldn't be locked up and not fed for a week" you huffed in frustration. "oh for goodness sake! Why does it have to be like this?!"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Dudley parades about the kitchen in knickerbockers, tailcoat and straw boater, tapping the floor with a Knobbly stick, while a teary Aunt Petunia snaps a photo with a flash camera. A glance at Dudley, I don't have any weird metaphor now but he does look like an elephant in a shirt.

"Oh, Vernon, look at him. To think in only a week he'll be off to Smeltings." Aunt Petunia gushed.

Uncle Vernon smiled excitedly. "Proudest moment of my life"

"shameful moment of my life" you whispered, rolling your eyes at Dudley.

Harry looked at Petunia with dread. "will i have to wear that too?"

Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon looked at him as if he was stupid although he wasn't one before the let out a mocking laughed at him. "You! Go to Smeltings? Don't be stupid You'll go to state school, where you belong. That there'll be yours, once I'm done dying it" Aunt Petunia walked to the kitchen, Harry and you followed her from behind. You cover your nose upon smelling a musty smell. "Your sister will not be with you as she is going to the Girls' school. That's where she belongs to learn her manners" Aunt Petunia added while taking out the old soaked uniform with tongs.

"I don't need someone to teach me manners. I'm fine the way I am. It's you who needs to be taught" you argued.

Aunt Petunia glared at you with hatred. "You said something like that again, there won't be any food for two weeks." she warned which you do not mind.

Your stomach is used to being hungry for a long time. So that's pretty common. Harry on the other hand only a week maximum which you are grateful that he doesn't have to go through the same consequences as you even though he is the older twin who is supposed to protect his youngest sibling.

But you're the type that likes to look for troubles so you don't care about siblings protect siblings term because those punishments have a reason why you're the only one who gets it. Which is your fault too for not keeping your mouth shut like now.

Harry glanced at a tub of gray mud boiling on the stove. He looked at it with disgust while you seemed to want to vomit at that foul smell.

'The smell gives me a headache' you thought. You held your nose from inhaling the poisonous smell

"But that's Dudley's old uniform. It'll fit me like bits of old elephant skin." Harry said, eyes focusing on Dudley's old shirt which was too big for Harry.

"What about my uniform. You yourself said I was going to another school." you looked at aunt Petunia strangely.

"Fit you fine enough and I'll find some old uniforms from parents whose daughter goes to the same school and dye it too" she replied to Harry without looking at him.

"cruel" You whispered which only Harry heard. Harry silently agreed.

"go get the post. Go!" Aunt Petunia ordered Harry.

Harry shook his head and moved out of the kitchen to the door, you sent him a sympathetic look.

"And you, go mop the floor, I don't want you to waste your time just standing here. Go" Aunt Petunia demanded before turning her gaze to the dying pot of the old uniform.

You grumbled and walked to the store where the mop and bucket were kept. You took the two items and walked to the bathroom to fill the bucket with soap before doing your forced task. You wring the mop and mop the floor.

Back to Harry, there are 4 letters on the mat. A bill, a postcard and envelopes of yellow parchment.

Harry takes all, then stops, staring at the envelope, which is addressed in emerald ink.

Mr. H. Potter

The Cupboard Under The Stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

Harry turns the envelope over, finds a purple wax. It is a coat of arms, surrounding a large letter H. Harry shuffled another letter in his hand which is addressed to you.

Ms. F/i. Potter

The Cupboard Under The Stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

Harry eyes focusing on two letters addressed to you and him in puzzled. Who in their right mind wants to send letters to both of them? Is this a joke? It might be a joke. No one knows who they are.

Harry walked towards the kitchen, hands clutched 4 letters but his eyes only focused on the two mysterious letters. You who just finished mopping the floor looked at Harry odd behavior.

"Harry?" You called him.

Harry lifted his head to look at you before he walked towards you and gave you a mysterious letter. You took the letter and looked at it weirdly. It has your name and your cupboard address.

You frowned in confusion. This is probably just a joke. As long as you live, no one has ever sent a letter in your name. Until now. Whoever sent you this letter better be prime minister or any powerful people who want to offer you a good position in their cult. What a weird metaphor. The letter even has the cupboard address where you live. How come that person who sent this letter knows where you live. Harry probably got the same letter because he seemed lost for words as he gives the other two letters to uncle Vernon. His eyes focusing on the letter in his hands. Dudley who noticed Harry's hands holding the mysterious letter quickly snatched his letter out of his hand.

"Dad! Look! Harry's got a letter!" Dudley exclaimed as he gave the letter to his dad.

Seeing this, you quickly folded the letter and hid it in the pocket of your baggy pants and continued mopping the floor. You haven't opened the letter yet so you better not let the letter go through the same fate as Harry's letter. You looked at the floor while mopping, ignoring the other human at the dining table who was fussing about Harry got a letter. You hummed Bohemian Rhapsody in your throat softly.

Harry determined to get his letter trying to snatched his letter back from Uncle Vernon's hand to which Uncle Vernon brought the letter out of his reach.

"that's mine!" Harry yelled.

Uncle Vernon looked at him in disbelief. He grinned. "Yours? Who'd be writing to you-" His face automatically goes pale. Uncle Vernon looked at his wife with knowing looked while Aunt Petunia seems uncertain.

Harry gulped.

"the girl.. She must get the same letter. Get the girl now" Uncle Vernon told his wife.

Aunt Petunia turned and walked towards you who was still mopping the floor. She forcefully takes your elbow and pulls you to the dining table. You yelped in surprise.

"Give me the letter now" Aunt Petunia hissed.

"What letter?" you cocked your head to the side a little.

"Don't play dumb, girl. Give us the letter you got!" Uncle Vernon shouted.

"I don't know what letter you two mean! I don't have any letter!" you lied

"Check the girl, Petunia. She must hide it in her pants pocket" Uncle Vernon said to his wife. His face was very red when he looked at you.

Aunt Petunia moved to you and forcefully checked your pants pocket while you tried to smack her hands. Aunt Petunia put her hand in your pants pocket and managed to pull out the mysterious letter you got. You looked at her with hatred as you tried to take the letter back from Aunt Petunia's hand, but Aunt Petunia took it out of your reach.

"that's mine! Give it back!" you yelled furiously.

"Shut up and go back to your cupboard!" Uncle Vernon yelled angrily.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next day, like the day before, there are 6 letters that are the same as the first day on the mat. Uncle Vernon who was in the front hall breathed furiously as he took the six letters and tore all the letters out of rage.

You who wear reading glasses and are leaning against the wall with a book of Greek Mythology on your lap, looked up from the book you were reading after hearing a loud drilling from the front hall. Harry who was quietly playing his miniature horse turned his body towards you in confused. You shrugged your shoulders at him as if you didn't know.

"No more mail through this letterbox"

You frowned in question.

Harry decided to open the cupboard door a little, you put your Greek mythology book aside and leaned in a bit to peek out of the cupboard. There Uncle Vernon was drilling the letterbox with screws and a medium-sized board with a wireless drilling machine in his hand.

"the hell" you muttered before returning to your position as Harry looked at Uncle Vernon with displeasure as he closed the cupboard door.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next day, Uncle Vernon who was wearing his work suit held the briefcase tightly in his hand. He is ready to go to work. Aunt Petunia kissed his cheek lovingly.

"Have a lovely day at the office, dear" Aunt Petunia said to him, lovingly as she kissed his cheek but then her face changed after spotting several owls on the car.

Uncle Vernon turned and was a little shocked when he spotted the owls. He then waving his briefcase, trying to shoo the owls on his car but the owls do nothing.

"Shoo! Go on!" he shooed the owls.

Aunt Petunia, as if sensing something wrong looked down and spotted some letters addressed to you and Harry. She patted his husband's arms. Her eyes still on the letters above on the pavement. Uncle Vernon turned his gaze to the pavement and saw the letters in disbelief.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Another day, Aunt Petunia was in the kitchen preparing to make breakfast. She took an egg container and set it on the kitchen counter before she took a bowl and set it in front of her. She then cracked an egg but she suddenly turned confused when she saw that there was no content in the egg instead there was a letter in it.

She breathed heavily before she cracked another egg but it was still the same. Her face began to show a feeling of terror as she cracked another egg and another and another but the content was still the same. A letter addressed to you and Harry. A sound of birds can be heard outside the kitchen window. Aunt Petunia looked out the window in terror before she screamed in fear when she spotted a few owls outside her house.

You looked up from your book and frowned.

"shesh.. She must be stressed" you mumbled.

Harry hummed in agreement as he lay down and boredly played with some of Dudley's broken toys to relieve the boredom.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Another day, at night you and Harry came out of the cupboard to drink water but then you both stopped in the living room when you ran into Uncle Vernon who was burning something in the fireplace. You looked at him with hate.

He burned the same letters one by one in the fireplace with a smug face. He looks satisfied. He laughed and double checked you both before he waved a letter with your name written on it and tossed it into the fireplace.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Fine day, Sunday. Best day of the week in my opinion. Know why I say that, Dudley?" Uncle Vernon said happily.

Dudley who was sitting in front of his mother shook his head. You and Harry, who was assigned to pour tea and offer cookies to the family, looked at Uncle Vernon with a resigned look.

"Because there's no post on Sundays." Harry muttered while offering Uncle Vernon cookies who took the cookie smugly.

"Right you are, Harry! No post on Sunday, hah! " he beamed with satisfaction.

You rolled your eyes before moving to Aunt Petunia who was holding her teacup towards you without looking at you as her attention was only on Dudley, expecting you to pour her tea. You sighed and poured tea into her cup. Silently wished that the tea she drank was bitter.

You put the teapot on the table after your task is done. You sigh lightly. Mind thought about the mysterious letters that Aunt and Uncle Dursley destroyed whenever they found it before the two of you. What are they afraid of the letters? Why are they acting weird whenever the letters are sent? More important, who sent the mysterious letter like there's no tomorrow? A huge amount of letters scattered throughout the day, who doesn't find it strange?

"No blasted letters today! No, sir. Not one single bloody letter. Not one-" Uncle Vernon said in delightful.

You scoffed at him and looked at the family with contempt. Why did they take you both in if they treated you like servants? You looked out the window. You narrowed your eyes when you saw several owls outside the house.

"No, sir, not one blasted, miserable-" he jerked in shock when he felt something thrown at him.

Out of the sudden, as if there was an earthquake. A loud noise started to be heard from the fireplace making the family look at each other strangely before turned to terror when many letters pouring out of the fireplace as if someone blasted the letters out of the fireplace.

The family screamed in terror at that. Aunt Petunia and Dudley hugged while Uncle Vernon screamed in terror.

"Make it stop!" Dudley screamed.

You and Harry grinned and starting to snatched the letters before Uncle Vernon stopped you and Harry. You kneeled to the floor to pick up the letter with your initials written on it while Harry who climbed pm top of the table took the letter with his name on it. You scoffed at him.

'Why can't he just pick up the letter on the floor?!' you thought before quickly running out of the living room to go to your cupboard but then you suddenly feel as if tugging on your mid section.

A sausage hand in your mid section pulled you in front of the cupboard with Harry in another hand. Uncle Vernon gripped both of you hard while you both shouted to be released and struggled in his arms. Suddenly another wave of letters came out of the letterbox, making it hard for Uncle Vernon to grab you both but he managed.

'dammit this man is strong' you struggle to let go. The letter in your hand crumpled in your grip.

"Get off!" Harry shouted.

"Let me go!" You elbowed Uncle Vernon's stomach.

"That does it! We're going away! Far away

Where they can't find us! Where they can't get to us!" Uncle Vernon shouted in the letters attacked.

"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley said in feared.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A very sad-looking hut sits perched upon a Targe Rock far at sea. Wind whistles. The sea rages. Heavy rain with lightning strikes like there is no tomorrow.

You who was lying on the ragged blanket next to Harry, grinning while drawing candles on the dust on the floor while Harry put a last touch on the cake you both etched on the dusty floor. Harry grinned contentedly and turned his head to the digital watch that Dudley was wearing. Dudley snores loudly making you roll your eyes annoyingly.

'pig' you said in your heart.

The digital clock ticked to midnight, You and Harry smiled at each other.

"Make a wish, Harry" you said, smiling.

"You too, Y/n" Harry replied.

The both of you closed your eyes to make a wish before blowing out the 'candle' in unison and the 'flames' of dust scattered around. Eyes still closed, you both hold your wish.

BANG! You both jerked in shock amd so was Dudley who woke up from his sleep with shock with sudden noise then he quickly got up from the broken sofa. The door shudders on the hinges when something seemed to try to break in. You and Harry petrified at that before Harry pulled your hand away and rushed to hide. Harry leaning against the walls and so was you but you seemed to be trying to hide your whole body against the wall making your right arm bumped against the stone wall hard. You hissed softly. Harry looked at you with concern. You just waved your uninjured hand at your brother.

You know that your hand will leave bruises later. You two keep quiet.

BOOM! A pin squirrels out of its housing. Falls to the floor. You covered your mouth with your palm, trying to keep yourself from screaming as Harry hugged your body closer to him protectively. Heart racing in the chest as nervousness and fear began to increase when the wooden door that was about to collapse was banged. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia who woke up due to the sudden noise came down from their bedroom. Uncle Vernon had a rifle in his hand as he pointed the rifle at the door of the hut. His face held anxious and nervous feelings while Aunt Petunia was scared and shaking like a leaf.

"Who's there? I warn you--I'm armed!" Uncle Vernon warned as he still aimed the rifle at the door of the hut. Finger on the trigger.

SMASH! The door of the hut fell to the floor and was torn from its hinges. An immense silhouette that was very massive bowed slightly to enter the hut. He is so tall that his head almost reaches the ceiling. His massive body shows that he is a strong person. His face is covered with a thick mustache while his hair is so long and thick. In his hand there is an umbrella. He wears a thick brown long coat and wears dark brown pants with a boots.

You and Harry were stunned to see the giant mysterious man. Mouth agape and eyes widened. The Dursley shaking in fear upon seeing the giant man.

"Er, right. Sorry 'bout that.. " the giant man apologized with his rough voice before he turned and lifted the collapsed door from the floor and put it back on its frame. Though he just put the collapsed door by leaning it on it frame. He turned his body back to the people in the hut. His eyes focused on Dudley who was standing in the center of the hut with a frightened look. The giant man frowned.

"Mind, I haven't seen yeh since yeh were

a baby, Harry, but yeh' re a bit more along than I woulda expected. Specially round the in middle." The giant man mistook Dudley for Harry while gesturing his hand on his stomach.

You snorted quietly at what the giant man said. Harry glared at you though he too found it rather amusing that the giant man really called Dudley fat.

"Where's yer sister Y/n? didn't yeh two always attached at the hip? Where is she?" he added, eyes looking around for a glimpse of you.

Dudley looked terrified. "I- I'm not Harry" he stuttered.

Harry decided to come out of his hiding place, dragging you behind him. His protective brother instinct is kicking.

"I am" Harry entered the conversation. He was slightly terrified at the giant man.

You looked up at the giant man's face curiously. He seems friendly and kind even though his physical looks intimidating but his eyes hold kindness and friendliness. The man turned to face Harry who finally came out from hiding.

"Well now, of course you are." The man said in his rough and heavy accent. He then noticed you behind Harry. "well, there yer are, Y/n. Always attached to the hip, like I said before!" he beamed.

You nodded shyly. You don't know this man but he knows yours and Harry's name. Like he knows you two for a long time.

Uncle Vernon then pointed his rifle at the giant man. "I demand that you leave at once, sir! You are breaking and entering! " he yelled at the man.

The man turned his gaze from you two to Uncle Vernon. He approached Uncle Vernon. Aunt Petunia held her husband's shoulder in fear and hid herself behind her husband.

The man then took the end of the rifle in his massive hand as he glared at Uncle Vernon. "Ah, dry up, Dursley, yeh great prune." the man then bend the end of the rifle upwards and Uncle Vernon in fear pressed the trigger of the rifle which created the sudden shot to the ceiling of the hut.

Both Uncle and Aunt jerked in shock and fear. They both shivered in the presence of the giant man in front of them.

You looked at the man impressed. "wow.. He's strong"

Harry nodded in silence. The man then turned his gaze on you both. His furious face turned friendly when his eyes focused on you two.

"Anyway, Harry, Y/n. Got summat fer yeh two. 'Fraid I mighta sat on it at some points, but 'magine it'll taste all right jus' the same... Let's see now... Got it here somewhere" The man rummaging his coat, looking for something in his big coat pocket then he took out a medium-sized box from inside his coat and gave it to Harry who took it.

You looked over Harry's shoulder. Curiosity in your eyes as Harry opened the box. There is a freshly baked cake with your and Harry's name written on it. 'Happee Birthdae, Harry and Y/n' scrawled in green icing. You widened your eyes. Never had ever someone give you two gifts or cake on your birthday. The Dursleys always give you both coins or broken pens as 'birthday gifts' but this. This makes your heart touch with this giant man.

"Baked it myself, words an' all." The man said delightfully.

"Thank you" Harry and you said at the same time.

"Well,· it's not ev'ry day yer young man

and young woman turns 'leven, now is it, eh" The man replied with a genuine smile.

Hagrid turns to the fireplace, gives the embers a poke with the pink umbrella. As they ROAR to life, the man sat on the moth eaten sofa. The sofa slightly bends over the man's weight. You both widened your eyes after witnessing such impossible things.

'how come that umbrella..' you thought as you approached the giant man.

"eh.. Excuse me, sir... Who are you?" you asked the man confused.

The man was silent for a moment when someone addressed him formally but he then smiled at you.

"Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." He introduced himself to you. "Of course, yer know all about Hogwarts"

You shook your head at him. "Sorry, we've never heard of Hogwarts"

Harry nodded in agreement. Hagrid looked at you with uncertainty.

"No? Blimey, Harry, Y/n, did yeh never wonder

where did yer mum and dad learned it all?" Hagrid questioned.

"learned what?" Harry is now by your side.

"Yer a wizard, Harry and Y/n a witch" Hagrid said.

You narrowed your eyes at him. Harry widened his eyes.

"A witch? What kind of flavor or type of Witch?" you asked him with curiosity.

"And a thumpin' good 'un, I'd wager, once yeh've been trained up a bit." Hagrid replied.

You let out a short laugh. "Well, we can't be wizard and witch."

Harry agreed with what you said. "surely you made a mistake, we can't be a wizard and a witch.. I mean.. We're just.. Just Harry and Y/n. We don't have magic"

"Well just Harry and Y/n, did yeh ever make anything 'appen? Anythin' yeh couldn't explain, when yeh were angry or scared?" Hagrid questioned.

You both fell silent. A sign of recognition on both of your faces when you remember some impossible events that happened before to both of you resulting in both of you being locked in a cupboard for a few weeks. Well, not much. So far, things floating in the air or frogs suddenly appear and jump on Aunt Petunia's face. That's it.. You and Harry looked at each other.

Hagrid smiled at you two. Which means what he said is true. He then got up from the broken sofa and slipped his hand into his big coat before taking out two envelopes and giving them to the two of you. You both took the envelope curiously. The same letters that Uncle Vernon did not give up on destroying. Now it is in both of your hands.

Harry opened his envelope. He read the contents of the letter out loud. "Dear Mr. Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.. "

You raised your eyebrows at that and stared at your own letter. You don't need to read it because you know the content in it as Harry has already read it out loud. Now this is quite interesting. A magic school. You never thought such a school existed in this world. But then again, there's a lot you don't know about this world.

"Magi-"

"absolutely not! They'll not be gone, I tell you! We swore when we took them in, we'd put a

stop to that rubbish!" Uncle Vernon disagreed, stomping his foot toward the the two of you.

You glared at him in realization and so was Harry. "You knew?! You knew and never told us that we are a Wizard and a Witch." You let out a disbelief laughed. "wow.. We didn't know that you two knew how to keep a secret for so long"

"You watch your mouth, girl!" Uncle Vernon yelled at you.

"maybe if you two tell us this thing maybe I can watch my mouth!" you argued "and you knew about that!"

Harry took your hand and squeezed your hand to calm you down. You scoffed at them.

Aunt Petunia looked at you two in distasteful. "Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was. Oh, mother and father were so proud when the letter came. 'A witch in the family isn't it wonderful?' I was the only one who saw her for what she was...a freak!" she spat with hatred. "Then she met that Potter and had you both. I knew you'd be the same. Just as strange, just as abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you"

"Oh god, i can smell jealousy" you rolled your eyes.

Aunt Petunia glared at you in hatred.

"Blown up? You told us, our parents died in a car crash." Harry said with bewilderment.

"CAR CRASH! A car crash kills Lily and James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal!" Hagrid yelled in disbelief.

"You lied to us" You hissed at them.

"THEY'LL NOT BE GOING! I TELL YOU!" Uncle Vernon yelled, aiming his bent rifles at Hagrid like a fool.

"An' I s'ppose a great Muggle like yerself is goin' ter stop them" Hagrid challenged him.

You and Harry looked at him in confusion. "muggles?" said in unison.

"Non-magic folk." Hagrid replied to you both with a friendly tone in his voice before he turned furiously towards Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. "This children's name's been down ever since they were born. They're off to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world and they'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwart's has ever known, Albus Dumbledore-"

"I will not pay for some old crackpot fool to teach them magic tricks!" Uncle Vernon cut him off.

Hagrid glared at him furiously. He aimed his tip of umbrella at Uncle Vernon's face who took a step back. "NEVER... INSULT... ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IN FRONT OF ME!"

You grinned when you saw Uncle Vernon's scared face. This is what you want to see. Him, put in his place. It's not like you're so cruel to see him scared, he just deserves that.

Hagrid then turned his gaze from uncle Vernon to Dudley who was eating birthday cake at the end of the hut. He then aimed his umbrella at Dudley and a spark of light came out of the tip of the umbrella. Suddenly a pig tails appeared in Dudley's butt making him scream in terror as he ran around the hut while his parents screamed in fear.

Uncle Vernon roared as the family hurries out of the hut's living room. You and Harry laughed out loud at the poor family. This is the best thing you have ever witnessed. They deserve it.

"Tha's curious. Meant ter turn 'im into a complete pig, whole hog an' all. Suppose he was so much like a pig already, there wasn't much left do." Hagrid looked at his umbrella strangely.

"I'm sure you've done your best to turn him into a complete pig. He just.. well he's indeed a pig even if you didn't change him. He just doesn't have a tail which thankfully you added" you beamed at him him as you patted his massive arm. You looked so small beside him. Once he bumped into you, you might have been thrown across the universe.

Hagrid smiled at you gratefully and patted your head gently. Harry who was speechless to say that was staring in awe at Hagrid's umbrella.

"Er, be grateful. if yeh didn't mention that to anyone at Hogwarts. Strictly speakin', I'm not allowed to do magic." Hagrid said to you both which you both nodded in understanding before he took out his pocket watch. "Bit behind schedule, aren't we? Best be off."

Hagrid exited the hut, leaving you two to consider this matter.  Harry looked lost while you fought the urge to follow Hagrid or not. You have trust issues when you live with the Dursleys. Hagrid poked his head in to look at the two of you.

" 'Less, o' course, yeh'd rather stay.' Hagrid said.

"nope! we're going then. Come on Harry, We're going on an adventure!" You pulled Harry's hand and dragged him out of the hut. Following Hagrid to a magical place.

Hagrid laughed at your enthusiasm self.

[carlyraejepsans]

If you are going to make a game here’s some things that might be helpful!

Game engines:

Godot: very new dev friendly and it’s free. Has its own programming language (GDscript) but also supports C#. It’s best for 2D games but it can do 3D also.

Unity: I don’t even know if I should be recommending Unity. It has caused me much pain and the suffering. But Unity has an incredible amount of guides and tutorials. And once you get the hang of something it’s hard to get caught on the same thing again. It also has a great Visual Studio integration and uses C#. I will warn you the unity animator is where all dreams go to die. It’s a tedious process but you can probably get some plugins to help with that.

Unreal: Don’t use it unless you’re building a very large or very detailed 3D game. It also uses C++ which is hell.

Renpy: Made for visual novels but has support for small mini games. It only supports Python iirc. Basically if you’re making a VN it’s renpy all the way otherwise you should look elsewhere.

What to learn: Game design and how to act as your own game designer. As a designer you need to know if a part of your game isn’t meshing with the rest of it and be willing to give up that part if needed. Also sound design is very important as well. If you want to make your own sounds audacity is perfect for recording and cutting up your clips. If you want to find sound effects I recommend freesound.org and the YouTube royalty free music database.

Sadly I can’t recommend a lot of places to learn this stuff because I’m taking Game Development in Uni. So most of my info comes from my lectures and stuff. One of my game design textbooks is pretty good but it’s around $40 CAD. It’s called the game designers playbook by Samantha Stahlke and Pejman Mirza-Babaei if you’re interested (fun fact there’s a photo of Toriel in there)

Anyway sorry for dumping this large ask on you I’m just really passionate about game design and I like to see other people get into it.

please do not apologize I'd never heard half of this stuff so this is super useful!! I've seen some godot tutorials on YouTube although so far I've played around with RPG maker MV (it was on sale. very very fiddly interface, i had trouble getting around it) and gamemaker, which recently became free for non-commercial use (a lot more approachable on first impact but like i said, haven't really done anything substantial in either yet).

mostly, I'm still in the super vague stage. I've got an idea for the main story conflict, the protagonist and their foil, the general aesthetic i want to go for (likely 2D graphics, but it would be cool to make like. small cutscenes in low-poly 3D) but not much else. haven't exactly decided on the gameplay either! it's gonna necessarily be rpg-esque, but I'm not much of a fan of classic turn-based combat so. I'm gonna check out other games and see if i can frankenstein anything cooler :P

[packetpixie]

pro tip for programmers - how to alias

hey, so you know that annoying thing that happens when you're coding, and you need to run/test the same program 100 times in a row, so you end up typing "python3 testScriptWithASuperLongName.py" into the terminal about 80,000 times?

well, there's a better way! it's called aliasing :D

in your bash shell (or zsh, or whatever shell you use, but bash is the default on VSCode and most people on tumblr use VSCode, so I'm using bash as the default to explain this concept) you can set an alias, essentially a shortcut command, that runs longer commands.

(yes you can just use the up arrow key to re-run the same command, but sometimes you're typing other things into the terminal too and you don't feel like hitting the up arrow key four times in a row, and also this is just a cool and useful tip to get comfortable with aliasing so shhhh)

so, in your terminal shell, just type this:

alias run="python3 testScriptWithASuperLongName.py"

now, you can run that entire super long command, just by typing the word "run" into your terminal. Here's a screenshot of an example on my computer to make it make more sense:

in this example, i just created a simple python file that contains one line of code: print("it works!")

then, as you can see, by setting the alias to run, i can now run that file, runningatestscript.py, simply with the command 'run'.

the best part is, this alias is temporary - it only lasts as long as your shell session is open. so once you close the terminal, the run alias is cleared and you can set it again next time to any file or task you're currently working on, to save yourself a lot of typing, typos, and time.

so if you want to, you can get in the habit of always setting a run alias in the VSCode terminal for whichever file you're working with as soon as you get everything open. that way, when you need to run the same file 50 million times, you have a super easy way of doing it! you can even set it to a single letter if you want to go for maximum speed, but i prefer to use whole short words, because they're easy for me to remember.

note: if you do want to set an alias to work for all sessions, you can simply add it to your ./bashrc file. this is a common way to automate repeatable tasks, and simply to set easier-to-remember commands for terminal commands that are really complicated/confusing/hard to remember.

for example, i saved the alias checkboot="[ -d /sys/firmware/efi ] && echo 'UEFI mode' || 'BIOS mode'" into my zshrc file (zsh equivalent of bashrc file). this way, no matter how many times i rebooted my machine, i would always be able to quickly check which boot mode was running by simply typing 'checkboot'.

yesterday i was updating my boot mode from BIOS to UEFI on my very old machine that is technically compatible with UEFI, but not configured for it by default. So it was extremely helpful and saved me the time and headache of having to remember and type that long-ass command a thousand times in between many different reboots and new shells.

if you have any tasks like that, or terminal commands that you know would be useful to you, but you can never remember them when you need them, i highly recommend getting comfortable with aliasing! it can be super useful to simply set custom aliases for all the commands you don't want to remember, so that you can automate things away and not have to worry about so much linux syntax all the time when you're tring to focus on programming.

i know this may seem like a simple tip to some, but i only learned about it recently and it's been extremely helpful to integrate into my workflow and customize my OS with! so i thought it might be worthwhile to some people if i share :) hope it helps!

[cyberstudious]

Tools of the Trade for Learning Cybersecurity

I created this post for the Studyblr Masterpost Jam, check out the tag for more cool masterposts from folks in the studyblr community!

Cybersecurity professionals use a lot of different tools to get the job done. There are plenty of fancy and expensive tools that enterprise security teams use, but luckily there are also lots of brilliant people writing free and open-source software. In this post, I'm going to list some popular free tools that you can download right now to practice and learn with.

In my opinion, one of the most important tools you can learn how to use is a virtual machine. If you're not already familiar with Linux, this is a great way to learn. VMs are helpful for separating all your security tools from your everyday OS, isolating potentially malicious files, and just generally experimenting. You'll need to use something like VirtualBox or VMWare Workstation (Workstation Pro is now free for personal use, but they make you jump through hoops to download it).

Below is a list of some popular cybersecurity-focused Linux distributions that come with lots of tools pre-installed:

Kali is a popular distro that comes loaded with tools for penetration testing

REMnux is a distro built for malware analysis

honorable mention for FLARE-VM, which is not a VM on its own, but a set of scripts for setting up a malware analysis workstation & installing tools on a Windows VM.

SANS maintains several different distros that are used in their courses. You'll need to create an account to download them, but they're all free:

Slingshot is built for penetration testing

SIFT Workstation is a distro that comes with lots of tools for digital forensics

These distros can be kind of overwhelming if you don't know how to use most of the pre-installed software yet, so just starting with a regular Linux distribution and installing tools as you want to learn them is another good choice for learning.

Free Software

Wireshark: sniff packets and explore network protocols

Ghidra and the free version of IDA Pro are the top picks for reverse engineering

for digital forensics, check out Eric Zimmerman's tools - there are many different ones for exploring & analyzing different forensic artifacts

pwntools is a super useful Python library for solving binary exploitation CTF challenges

CyberChef is a tool that makes it easy to manipulate data - encryption & decryption, encoding & decoding, formatting, conversions… CyberChef gives you a lot to work with (and there's a web version - no installation required!).

Burp Suite is a handy tool for web security testing that has a free community edition

Metasploit is a popular penetration testing framework, check out Metasploitable if you want a target to practice with

SANS also has a list of free tools that's worth checking out.

Programming Languages

Knowing how to write code isn't a hard requirement for learning cybersecurity, but it's incredibly useful. Any programming language will do, especially since learning one will make it easy to pick up others, but these are some common ones that security folks use:

Python is quick to write, easy to learn, and since it's so popular, there are lots of helpful libraries out there.

PowerShell is useful for automating things in the Windows world. It's built on .NET, so you can practically dip into writing C# if you need a bit more power.

Go is a relatively new language, but it's popular and there are some security tools written in it.

Rust is another new-ish language that's designed for memory safety and it has a wonderful community. There's a bit of a steep learning curve, but learning Rust makes you understand how memory bugs work and I think that's neat.

If you want to get into reverse engineering or malware analysis, you'll want to have a good grasp of C and C++.

Other Tools for Cybersecurity

There are lots of things you'll need that aren't specific to cybersecurity, like:

a good system for taking notes, whether that's pen & paper or software-based. I recommend using something that lets you work in plain text or close to it.

general command line familiarity + basic knowledge of CLI text editors (nano is great, but what if you have to work with a system that only has vi?)

familiarity with git and docker will be helpful

There are countless scripts and programs out there, but the most important thing is understanding what your tools do and how they work. There is no magic "hack this system" or "solve this forensics case" button. Tools are great for speeding up the process, but you have to know what the process is. Definitely take some time to learn how to use them, but don't base your entire understanding of security on code that someone else wrote. That's how you end up as a "script kiddie", and your skills and knowledge will be limited.

Feel free to send me an ask if you have questions about any specific tool or something you found that I haven't listed. I have approximate knowledge of many things, and if I don't have an answer I can at least help point you in the right direction.

[fallen-and-holy]

I don’t think I've talked about our dæmonism much on this account, and I wanted to fix that! So, here’s just me yapping about my& experiences with it!!

I’ve had a dæmon for longer than i’ve known i was plural, before my headmate Cypher even formed. Phi’s been with me since around March 2022. Her full name is Delphi, or Delphegor if I’m feeling silly. As soon as i learned about dæmonism, i started talking to Phi and she started talking right back. I’ve always known she was a snake- even before she was there, back when I was reading His Dark Materials on my own for the first time. Even back then, i just knew- my dæmon would be a white snake. And she is. Usually a ball python, but occasionally other ‘domesticated’/common pet snake species. She flirts with other forms sometimes, because we’re researching them or just for fun, but at her core fae are and always will be a snake. Because of that, wei consider muirself settled. Fae take other forms regularly, but she always comes back to her first one. There are a couple forms that she takes regularly, some based on the form finding system and some based purely on vibes. She does prefer white forms though- and will often be a leucistic or albino version of the chosen form. Her analytic forms are cotton-top tamarin, asian small clawed otter, and giant river otter. Her pullman forms are the aforementioned snake and cat. And then for fun, she’ll be a barn owl, white bat of some sort, or snow leopard. Fae likes experimenting, and definitely represents the more playful side of me. 

I’ve heard from faer a little less since Cypher formed, and it can be hard to hear/’see’ both of them at the same time. I have to be focusing pretty hard to keep track of all of them. But she’s still there, and always will be. She says fae don’t mind, but i do feel a little guilty sometimes.

Speaking of Cypher, ae have aer own dæmon: Ink. His formation is actually a pretty interesting story. We were out doing stuff, I was projecting and trying to focus on Cypher and Phi together, and Cypher touched Phi for the first time ever. It was a really interesting sensation- looking at my messages from that day, I described it as “indescribable, like a live wire and a full body shudder- wei felt the sensation more than when Cypher touches me.” It was wonderful, a strange and alien feeling that was so full of love and connection. About thirty minutes later, Ink was there. It was. A really strange time but it was super cool!! Ink formed as a black cat, and has stayed a black cat- along with varied corvid forms. He generally doesn’t show up or talk unless Cypher is fronting. 

We didn’t do this on purpose, but we think it’s super cool how our dæmons naturally settled as a kind of yin and yang- Phi takes white forms, while Ink takes black forms. Our souls… compliment each other. We’re Symbiotic, and it's really awesome and meaningful to us the way our dæmons work together <33  

So yeah!! That’s all i can think of for now- but please ask muis questions!! Wei love talking about this!!!

[ailelie]

So Why Linux?

If you've followed my "Adventures in Linux" tag at all then you know I am a technical layperson. I use my personal computer primarily to write and browse the Internet.

So why am I switching to Linux? A taskbar.

Let me explain.

In Windows 11 right now, you cannot move your taskbar from the bottom of the screen to the left side. You can move the icons in the taskbar, but if you want to go vertical, you're out of luck.

This has irritated more than just me, especially because you could in Windows 10, 7, and etc. Microsoft chose to remove functionality.

If you search online, you'll see plenty of posts in forums and on reddit asking about this missing feature. If you want a vertical taskbar, you have to download an additional program. (StartAllBack is what I got; it isn't free).

Microsoft seems uninterested in adding this functionality back.

To me, this suggests that they have an idea or vision for how users interact with their computers, as if a right and wrong way exist. Individuals don't matter; only the vision (and sometimes the majority) do.

It isn't just a taskbar.

When you open Windows 11 (Home) for the very first time and try to install Firefox, you may find that you can't (at least you couldn't when I reluctantly upgraded). The application simply isn't trusted enough to be in their app/software store, which is the only place from which you can install new programs.

If this happens to you, you're likely in S mode. Getting out of S mode is a very non-intuitive process. I'm sure plenty of people don't bother.

Microsoft uses S mode, which they claim is for security, to limit options and further define how people interact with their computer and the Internet.

It isn't just S mode.

I used to use Microsoft 365. When my computer bricked last year, 365 was a godsend because I, foolishly, did not have my documents backed up anywhere else. I did not mind paying each year for cloud storage and the Office Suite.

Then I learned that the price was jumping and all because of Copilot, a feature I wish did not exist. A "classic" version with limited AI was available, but likely only for a year.

The offer of a limited time "classic" subscription felt like a sop to irritated users who did not want to pay more for an unnecessary (unethical, environmentally unsound) "feature." A temporary placation until the noise died down and Microsoft could kill Classic quietly.

All in all, I felt like Microsoft had decided that Windows was their program that I, as a user, was simply lucky and blessed to be able to use and therefore should be grateful to use it as they dictated rather than as I wanted.

I'm not a power user. I'm not in the tech industry. My coding experience is limited to when I played with Python a decade ago and Choicescript, which I use to write my interactive fiction.

But, I have preferences. I like my taskbar to be vertical and aligned to the left of my screen.

I do not think it is that large an ask to want a computer that works how I want it to work, that lets me interact with my files and the Internet the way I want to rather than the way some far-off company decides I have to.

So that's why Linux. Yeah, it is harder to set up at times, but not as hard as some posts and articles make it seem.

I'm sharing my experiences with it to hopefully make someone else's switch easier.

Ultimately, it is just an operating system. I'm sure there's a lot I don't understand or am not appreciating, but, aside from some very minor hiccups, it works.

It works and lets me do what I want; what more could I want?

[doahaesunshine]

Chapter 13

Chapter WC: 3576

Tags

eh, I can't think of anything -Tristen

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There are some nights The scary ones Where I feel as though my heart will burst I hear it Pounding against my chest It fills me with anxiety I know I won’t die But my thoughts keep me awake And I’m left staring at the dark ceiling

Half of a year.

That’s how long you have been in the magical world of the Seventeenth Realm.

And it wasn’t any closer to feeling like home…

Of course there were people that you considered friends. For example, Vernon, Jihoon and Soonyoung, your dorm mates, were all very good friends. You ate delicious meals that Mingyu cooked for everyone like a little family. Dino still checked on you and performed routine examinations every other week. It was hard to ignore the Alchemist, especially when his familiar had taken a liking to you.

Archivist Jeon was still keeping his space but you no longer felt awkward around the older Arcanist. Whenever you had a hard question about magic or needed to find a specific book, he was always there to help. Seungkwan was also always willing to lend a hand when finding informational books on language and incantations. You were still yet to meet his mentor, Joshua, but that didn’t necessarily bother you. Apparently, the young Ward was very busy.

Lessons with Jeonghan halted during your short healing period. The raven haired man himself never entered the dorm, but his black ball python familiar, Obsidian, would visit from time to time. The slithering creature was able to climb up to your window and when you let him enter, he would always curl around your forearm. You felt bad, spending all this time away from Jeonghan without telling him what had happened, but through Obsidian you were able to send small messages. 

You found yourself telling the sleek snake about your day and what you’ve been learning while away from his Arcanist. The creature obviously was unable to respond since he wasn’t your familiar, but he understood your words and you were certain he relayed them to Jeonghan. 

There was one evening, during the beginning of summer, where Obsidian tapped on your window expectantly. When you welcomed him into your room, you saw a small note attached to his body. You let Obsidian crawl up your arm and gently untied the note from his lithe form to open the slip of paper. It was in Jeonghan’s handwriting.

Come to the balcony.

With the black scaled snake still wrapped around your arm, you opened your door and peeked out, looking both ways before exiting the confines of your room. Even though it had been three months since your last episode, you knew that if Jihoon or Soonyoung saw you out of your room they would escort you back. Shadow was also a possibility, his sense of smell was good and Tigris had very alert ears, but you saw neither the familiars or their Arcanists. Gingerly, you stepped through the hall to reach the balcony, thankfully no one was there.

The evening air was warm and slightly humid, clouds formed, shielding the orange sky from showing itself. Despite the desire to see the sky you scanned the area, looking for Jeonghan. Obsidian crawled from your arm to the balcony railing, wrapping himself around the structure to climb downward. You watched as he reached the ground and slithered out toward a figure in the grass. 

Jeonghan stood in the small field below you, gazing up at you with his sleepy eyes. His lips tugged into a lazy smile and he beckoned you forward. 

“Come down.” He projected his voice while trying to remain somewhat quiet.

“I can’t- Jihoon will beat my ass if he sees me walking around the halls.”

You couldn’t hear it, but Jeonghan was definitely laughing.

“Jump-”

“What?!”

Jeonghan sighed. “Jump- I’ll catch you.”

Flabbergasted, you rolled your eyes as you processed Jeonghan’s words. He wanted you to jump off of the balcony so he could catch you? That sounded like a sure fire way to break your ankle. 

“Fuck it-”

You leapt over the railing and felt a short breeze blow past you. Instead of Jeonghan’s arms catching you, the wind had guided your fall, the soft grass beneath your feet. 

“See? I would never let you fall~” He said in a playful tone.

“Ha. Ha.” You said in a sarcastic tone, rolling your eyes again.

Jeonghan threw his arm over your shoulder to pull you in for a hug. “I missed you.”

You reciprocated the embrace with a soft smile. “Awh. I missed you too.” The words were less than kind when you spoke them.

As you stayed close to Jeonghan, Obsidian slithered his way back to you, hanging himself around your neck. You stroked the smooth scales and smiled as the python fashioned himself into a scarf, a snake scarf. Jeonghan released his hold on your shoulders and slid his hand down your arm to grab hold of your hand. 

“Do you want to go to the glade or the lake?” He asked as he led you along the stream.

You pondered the options. “Hm… Can we go somewhere new?”

Jeonghan thought to himself as the two of you continued down the path, but paused as something popped into his mind. “Oh! I can take you to see my friend.”

“Friend?”

“Shua! He’s a ward here.” Jeonghan said with a bright smile. “We hang out occasionally.”

“Shua? Like Joshua? Seungkwan’s mentor?”

Jeonghan nodded as he pulled you in the opposite direction, moving toward the woods away from the main path. You were afraid you would get lost, but your company appeared to be well acquainted with the less traveled paths.

The black brick cottage was bigger than Dino’s but much smaller than the Evoker Dorms. Everything was so tidy, the potted plants on the porch were well taken care of and the shrubs around the house were expertly pruned. Jeonghan, still leading you by the hand, knocked on the door and waited patiently.

Without a single creak, the door swung open and you were met with warm, chestnut hair and a fawn-like face, his overall appearance was charming and friendly. He greeted you with a smile but as he turned to Jeonghan his lips flattened.

“Wow- You used the door.” His dark brown eyes peered down to where you and Jeonghan’s were linked.

Blushing, you unlatched yourself from Jeonghan and rubbed the back of your neck while avoiding eye contact. 

“I thought I should be polite since I brought Sage with me.” Jeonghan said with a forced smile.

“Nice to meet you. You must be Joshua.” You muttered in a small voice.

“That is correct! It’s nice to finally meet you, Sage.” Joshua held the door open for both you and Jeonghan, welcoming you into the home with an outstretched arm.

The three of you spoke over tea and biscuits. You learned that Joshua was originally from California, but his parents sent him to the Seventeenth Realm for protection. He also spoke on how even though he is technically younger than Seungkwan, he is still a mentor and is proficient in Abjuration magic.

You briefly read about the Abjuration School, it's a class of magic that is centered around defense, counter spells, and ward casting. Seungkwan spoke highly of Joshua, he often praised his mentor on how skilled he was in casting protection spells as well as enchanting items to create magical charms. 

“Speaking of magical charms, Joshuji here said he had something for you…” Jeonghan leaned on Joshua as he spoke, a playful smile on his features.

Joshua shot a confused look at Jeonghan. “I- Yeah, that’s right. I’ll go get it- one moment-” 

You and Jeonghan were left alone in the living room, sitting across from each other. He continued to sip his tea while you studied your surroundings. The interior of the house was just as neat as its exterior, overall it had a rustic feel with a lot of crystals and minerals decorating the shelves. Even the mantle of the fireplace had plenty of trinkets and geodes that came in different shapes, colors, and sizes. Jeonghan veered into your line of sight with a knowing expression.

“Joshua and Seungkwan like to collect things. They’re like little crows.” He chuckled to himself. “I’m sure half of the things Seungkwan has laying around are from that human boy he’s sweet on…”

“Vernon?”

“That’s his name?” Jeonghan perked up. “He’s one of the Evokers- a roommate?”

You nodded your head. “Yeah- and sweet on each other is an understatement. They need to get on with it and start dating…”

“They aren’t dating?”

Joshua returned from upstairs and reclaimed his spot on the couch. In his hand he held a long chained necklace with a chunk of dark metal attached to it. In spite of the piece of jewelry looking a bit rough, it was still pretty.

“It’s a charm I had been working on for the past three months. The metal has strong properties. For example, the enchantment is-”

“Balance based.” Jeonghan interrupted Joshua’s explanation. “Shua told me a lot about it. Seungkwan informed him you’ve been filling your weeks with studying and so he wanted to give you something that would keep your energy in balance.”

The thoughtfulness made you smile. “Thank you, Joshua. It’s super cool-looking too, I like the long chain style.” You thanked him as you held the necklace in your hands.

Wearing the chain, you looked down and admired the shiny rock. It went down to your sternum so it could easily be tucked into your shirt.

“The enchantment will take effect slowly, gradually repairing your psyche and replenishing your mana.” Joshua explained. “Jeonghan helped me with it, so it should be extra potent.”

You flashed a warm smile to Jeonghan. “So I should be thanking you as well.”

“I’m glad you like it! It suits you.”

A light blush heated your cheeks due to Jeonghan’s compliment. You peered down to fidget with the necklace. but you could feel that Jeonghan’s gaze was piercing through you.

“Alright-” Joshua started as he rose from his seat. “As much as I would love for you to stay, I have some work.” He walked the two of you to the front door. “Get the hell out, Jeonghan- Sage you can visit anytime, I’m sure Seungkwan would love it.”

The door was shut, and with a click you and Jeonghan were locked out of the home. 

“Damn- I was going to ask some more questions about the charm…”

Jeonghan returned his arm to your shoulders and draped himself over you. “I helped with it, I can try and answer any lingering questions.”

Your raven-haired friend was successful in answering most of your questions, the simple ones. He told you that the hunk of metal was Magnetite and that its properties were best suited for balancing energy, emotions and focus. The two of you continued to chat as you walked along the pristine cobbled road. Here the pathways were better kept and fresher, they must have been paved recently.

The trees were a bit more sparse in this area, instead of evergreens they were birch trees with white bark and light green leaves. You saw the evening sky easily through the canopy, the clouds cleared and the deep purple of dusk was clear and visible. 

“Oh?” Jeonghan whispered in a low voice as he focused his attention forward.

You followed his eyeline and saw another man walking down the path. His head was faced downward, reading a book that he held with bandaged forearms. You saw a head of dusty orange hair and tanned skin, his eyes were trained on his book. The outfit he wore was simple, a loose fitting white button up, equally flowy navy trousers, and laced boots that disappeared past his pant legs.

“Ah- Dokyeom! Long time no see!” Jeonghan called out with a lazy yet boisterous smile.

The other man, Dokyeom, tore his eyes from his book to look for the source of the voice. When he saw you and Jeonghan, he froze for a moment and bowed his head as a greeting. The orange haired man began to turn.

“What have you been up to, Kyeomie?” Jeonghan called out while dragging you with him to approach the other.

Dokyeom stopped in his tracks and turned to address Jeonghan. “I’ve just been experimenting with spells. Exploring my potential and such…” His voice was sweet and polite as he spoke, dark, nearly black eyes studied you as he spoke. 

His eyes glued onto where Jeonghan had his arm wrapped around you. There was a subtle bunch of nerves that filled your chest, it wasn’t a comfortable feeling. 

“Oh- How fun! Are you using the tome I lent you?”

Dokyeom returned his gaze to Jeonghan. “Yes. It’s been very helpful with Sanguis Magica .”

“You study blood magic?”

The orange-haired man was about to speak, but Jeonghan leaned in close to your ear.

“Mhm- Dokyeom here is a Vitae and a damn good one…” He chuckled darkly. “He’s learned how to enhance his healing magic by using his own blood. Kyeomie has always been a bit of a martyr .” Jeonghan sighed another laugh as he fixed his posture.

“This is great actually!” He continued to talk. “You can thank Dokyeom in person now, Sage!”

You raised an eyebrow at Jeonghan’s statement but returned your attention to Dokyeom as a wave of panic crashed into you.

“He’s the one who saved you and brought you to Dino- He practically drained himself dry healing you…”

The words hit you like a truck as you realized this man, Dokyeom, had saved you more than once. He retrieved you from the lake, healed you, and then the time your head almost burst, he saved you again.

“Ah- I- Thank you!” You stuttered. “I honestly don’t know if I can thank you enough. You saved me twice and I’m thanking you six months later- Wow- I am awful.”

The concern and anxiety that was radiating off of Dokyeom started to fade away as you spoke to him. A bright smile plastered on his face and your heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“It’s my duty to help people if I can. Even if it means sacrificing my own strength.”

You heard Jeonghan snicker next to you and whisper a soft, ‘Martyr’ You nudged him with your elbow, softly but enough to get him to behave.

“Were you heading somewhere before we interrupted your path, Kyeomie?” Jeonghan asked playfully.

Dokyeom shook his head. “Just returning to the Springs…”

“Oh- Then we’ll be on our way, I’m sure you need to recharge-” Jeonghan began to walk away, dragging you with him.

“It was nice to finally meet you!” You said in a raised tone as you looked back.

Dokyeom was still standing still in the middle of the road as he watched you and Jeonghan walk away. 

For once, Jeonghan walked you to your dorm. Twilight was in full effect with indigo skies and a rising moon. The late evening air was refreshing compared to the warm midday weather. Jeonghan had resorted to holding your hand instead of smothering you with his arm. He stopped at the opening in the treeline, the dorm only yards away.

There was a moment of pause as the hold Jeonghan had on your hand anchored you in place. Instead of his usual lazy expression he looked nervous as you turned back and approached him.

“Thank you for seeing me today, Sage.” He said, keeping an even tone.

A smile creeped its way up to your cheeks. “You know it’s no problem and thank you for the gift.”

“Why are you thanking me for that, it’s from Josh-”

“I knew that was a lie.” You snickered. “You were too eager and he was too confused.”

“You got me there…” Jeonghan trailed off with a dry chuckle.

Another pause.

Smiling at each other, the two of you shared a look.

Jeonghan raised his hand to your face, brushing a stray strand of hair from your cheek. The proximity made you hold your breath instinctively and you closed your eyes as Jeonghan leaned in slowly.

The feeling of soft lips gently pressed against your skin as Jeonghan placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. Heat immediately filled your face, making the chilled touch of Jeonghan’s hand more prevalent. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw Jeonghan staring down at you, eyes soft and full of adoration. 

“Goodnight, Sage.” He said as he released you.

Too stunned or flustered to speak, you nodded your head to show that you understood his words. With another quiet laugh, Jeonghan turned and made his way into the tree line.

“Ah- Goodnight!” You called out before he fully disappeared.

With a spin, Jeonghan looked back at you and waved goodbye with a two finger salute.

What had just happened finally caught up to you, and you blushed once more, a surge of energy threatening to burst forth. The feeling in your chest was warm and light, and it lingered as you entered the dorm.

A resounding chorus of chirps welcomed you at the door as you saw a gaggle of familiars in the entrance. 

“Oh- Hello, Ruby, Shadow, Tigris, oh- Yucca is here too… Kelpy? Is that a rabbit?”

Without another sound, Ruby chirped an order and led the rest of the familiars into the house. Sheepishly, you followed behind, hoping that everyone would just ignore you as you passed by the dining room. Before you could even think of executing your plan, you were stopped by a very agitated Mingyu leaning against the archway.

“Sage- Where were you all evening? We’ve been searching for-” Mingyu checked his pocket watch. “A whole two hours…”

“Uh- I went for a walk, got a little lost…”

“Two. Whole. Hours?” 

“Jeez, sorry mom I’ll be home on time next time…” You rolled your eyes at Mingyu.

The taller man crossed his arms and leaned his weight on one hip. “Seriously, Sage?”

“Y’know what? Dinner sounds great right now.” You walked past him, ignoring the flames in his eyes.

Just as you suspected, the whole gang was here. Vernon sat side by side with Seungkwan, Jihoon and Soonyoung ceased all conversation as they watched you enter, and a troubled Dino sat across from them. Sauntering to the counter, you fixed yourself a plate of food and sat next to Dino.

“Where-” Dino started to ask a question.

“I went out for a walk to get some fresh air and I ended up getting lost. I found where Joshua lives- You were right Boo, he’s very nice.”

Mingyu took a seat at the table as Dino rose from his chair to refill his plate.

“Oh and I met this nice guy named Dokyeom-” 

The sound of a plate shattering against the hardwood floor had you whipping your head up in surprise.

Everyone paused and stared after you spoke. The atmosphere was… weird and the feeling in your chest was even weirder.

“Did I say something wrong?” You asked with an innocent expression.

Dino crouched down and began cleaning up the plate he dropped. Vernon and Seungkwan noticed the tension, standing from their place at the table and leaving with their familiars. Mingyu patted his hand on the table to grab your attention.

His puppy-like eyes filled with worry. “Are you feeling alright?”

“What? Yeah-” You thought for a moment. “Is he, like, not cool or something?”

“No- No! He’s fine, he’s cool.” Soonyoung stuttered, the tone sounding a little forced.

Jihoon lightly smacked Soonyoung’s shoulder and muttered a low “Shut the fuck up.”

Dino returned the table empty handed and sat right beside you. “Did he say anything to you?”

“I mean- now I know who saved my life.” The table went still as everyone held their breath. “And I thanked him… Why are you guys acting so weird?”

“We’re just worried that because he was present when you entered this realm that it would tie in with your memory loss.” Jihoon spoke with an analytical tone. “Dino told us he could have triggered the near-hemorrhage you had. We just want you to be careful…”

As Jihoon spoke, a bad taste covered your tongue. Jihoon himself was feeling uncomfortable, you could sense it. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to focus on your friends at this moment…

Dino was the easiest to read, you didn’t need to dig deep, his concern was evident from his appearance alone. Mingyu was indifferent, more worried about where you were than who you were with. Soonyoung seemed a little lost, like he was missing a piece of the conversation, but the others' uneasiness must have bled onto him.

“Guys- I’m fine- No headaches or nose bleeds while I was out. It was actually really refreshing because, y’know, I’ve been cooped up in my room for three months…”

“No- That’s fair.” Mingyu spoke and all heads turned to him. ‘What? The balcony can only provide so much, it’s only fair that Sage gets to take a walk.”

“Thank you, Mingyu-”

“But-” He interrupted. “It would also be nice if you let someone know and took a buddy with you…”

“Okay- I can do that. Jihoon, wanna go on a walk with me tomorrow?” You spoke as you dramatically turned your head to the man in question. 

He sighed deeply. “Yeah- Sure…”

“Don’t sound too excited…”

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[callmearcturus]

okay so PC Gamer just scattered a bunch of catnip for me with an article about What If Each Fallout Game Were A Movie, Who Would Direct It and I am going to read this live and judge it

because I'm having a relapse, we all understand this

A focused, mature, pressure cooker of a movie that is short and stylishly violent? Better call the director of John Wick to take the directorial reigns. Personally, I find Leitch's movies tend to have rather underwhelming final acts, too, and also have a penchant for ending abruptly when you feel more could have followed, so he's the perfect fit for a game that's incredible until it very quickly ends without much fanfare. John Wick movies don't tend to be very wacky either, often depicting the hero's world as very serious (despite the ludicrous premise of the fiction), so again this feels a strong and apt choice for the OG Fallout. A Friday night action movie.

HMMMMMM. I feel like I disagree on the mode I would want FO1 to be in. Like, yes, you can play it that way, but FO1 is famously one of the first games to make Speech arguably the most important skill to have in a video game, so I dunno. I love Leitch and feel like while his sense of realistic-yet-stunning action is a trademark, I think the use of locations is even more of his thing, and when I think about memorable locations, I think more of FO2 than FO1.

I feel like I would give FO1 to some hyper-realistic scumbag who is more obsessed with Process than Enterta-- oh. Nolan. gdi I'd give FO1 to Chris fucking Nolan, him whomst I loathe.

Who better to direct this expansive and often wacky depiction of the Fallout universe than the director responsible for epics such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys, Brazil, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? Gilliam loves a good road trip in his work, too, which fits with Fallout 2's Highwayman-based exploration, and his penchant for vast vistas with wacky and absurd details feels perfect. The combat scenes wouldn't be as slick as Leitch's Fallout movie, but characterisation and a more rambling, philosophical, off-beat narrative would deliver. Plus, Fallout 2 even has a Bridge Keeper encounter that directly references Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which Gilliam starred. Watch on a Saturday night for a bit of everything.

......... I straight up cannot argue with that. No notes.

For a movie based on a game that is focussed almost entirely on squad-based combat in urban environments, combat where soldiers die in terrible ways and the horrors of war are all too apparent, I feel the director of The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow is perfect for this. Fallout: Tactics would be a war movie with a very tight focus and strong characterisation for just a handul of lead characters. Tense and at times adrenaline-inducing due to the flashes of extreme violence, but interspersed with soul-searching dialogue from its grizzled, war-scarred leads, this would be an erudite and focused Fallout war movie. Watch on a Monday or Tuesday night.

Looking at Bigelow's list of works is how I just now learned she also did Strange Days, so I think it's fair to say that this is giving her way too small of a pick. Give her FO1 and give Leitch FOT.

It would be so bad. Forget about A-bombs, everyone in the movie would drop an F-bomb every other line. Don't watch on any night.

Fucking weak-ass pick. Think about the history of how FO:BoS happened, i.e. they were trying to slap the Fallout license onto a completely different style of game without any respect for the source material. They swapped out Nuka Cola for Bawls product placement.

Give it to Zack Synder.

As the game that properly introduced V.A.T.S. system slow-mo to the Fallout universe, with kill shots shown off in glorious bullet time, there can be only one director for a film version of Fallout 3: the master himself, John Woo. Woo's stellar action movie work in titles such as Hard Boiled, Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Mission Impossible 2, among others, means the action in this game is off the charts. Slow-mo radiated doves and all! Woo handles the post-apocalypse war vibes well, too, thanks to his work on Windtalkers, while he communicates the hero's awakening into the future thanks to previous on Paycheck. A good fit for Friday night, thanks to the action, or midday during the weekend due to a longish, war movie-style runtime.

.....................

holy shit i cannot argue with that, that's genius. absolutely fucking yes. i think that's a perfect fit.

also, like, FO3 and Woo have the same "problem" for me, in that they know exactly what they are doing, it's just not my cup of tea, but there is a solid identity there.

yeah, fucking do it, give FO3 to John Woo.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE, AND DID THEY WRITE IT FROM MY FUCKING ATTIC?!

Casinos, gritty environments, extreme violence and heist movie vibes mean I think of Guy Ritchie for this film adaptation. Ritchie's also a fan of slow-mo combat shots, too, so we've got the game's V.A.T.S. system represented well, too, while the game's macho factional warfare as undertaken by factions like Caesar's Legion and the NCR, is right in keeping with Ritchie's love of gang-based conflict. There's not much romance in New Vegas, either, which is a weak spot for Ritchie, but as shown in movies like Sherlock Holmes, Snatch, The Gentleman, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, he's good at holding together movies with various interconnecting narratives. His work on Aladdin also shows he can handle the comedic and wacky aspects of New Vegas, too. A mid-week action-comedy treat.

/rubs face

I am unfortunately a massive fucking fan of Ritchie movies. this is so powerful.

i think........... Ritchie is so thoroughly uninterested in saying anything philosophically profound, you cannot give him The Most Profound Fallout Game. like, I want to love this idea, I really do, but no.

....................... You need someone with snappy dialogue that actually means something, who is willing to veer into borderline magical realism, who loves an overdressed set, and who can manage a lot of different characters with well-reasoned motivations.

I think you need Rian Johnson.

OR DO I JUST WANT RIAN JOHNSON TO MAKE A VERSION OF "DEAD MONEY" THAT DOESN'T SUCK? WHO COULD SAY.

I feel Ang Lee is a good choice for a Fallout 4 movie adaptation, having good form in handling large and sprawling fictions with plenty of characters and side-stories. Just look at films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Life of Pi as an example of this. He's got some form with action, too, thanks to his work on Hulk. There's probably more romance/relationship offering in Fallout 4 than in any other Fallout, and Ang Lee has form here too. The result, though, is a movie that ends up being a bit flabby and unfocussed at times, despite technically bringing more to the table than Fallout 3, and being funnier and lighter overall. Watch on a day off due to a chonky runtime.

what are you fucking talking about, Ang Lee's best movies are Brokeback and Sense & Sensibility, and his worst are probably Hulk and Gemini Man. Fallout 4 is the one where Bethesda just stopped pretending to give a shit about story and roleplaying, instead pivoting the game into a skinner box of tightly-honed but ultimately soulless mechanics.

I'm not even trying to mock Marvel, but I feel like the MCU's Design-By-Producer-And-Executive-Oversight is actually the answer here. It doesn't matter who directs it because the main voice will be a board room.

oh shut upppppp

Fallout Shelter would in some ways be the most obvious setup for a movie: the self-contained story of a vault-dwelling society, interspersed with the surface adventures of random dwellers. Sounds a bit like the TV show when you put it like that, which is why there's only one Nolan for the job: Christopher! Yes, fresh off Oppenheimer it is time for Oppenheimer 2, focusing on the aftermath of all-out nuclear war (hell, Cillian Murphy can even have a cameo as a brain in a jar, I'm that generous). Moody, intense, riven with twists you didn't see coming, and with all special effects done for realsies, this movie could only ever be rad. The only downside is that, like the TV show Silo, you'd spend an awful lot of time indoors.

absolutely fucking not. the thing about Nolan is that his shit is so meticulous, it like.... pitches past hyper-realism and lands in this weird uncanny valley of "he wouldn't fucking say that" but it's for a character you've only known for ten minutes.

FO: Shelter is about emergent storytelling that feels almost accidental rather than arranged or scripted. you need someone who is hands-off the script but can capture a.... good moment..............

oh god, it's JJ Abrams, isn't it? god dammit. or, frankly? Spielberg. so I'm saying no to the director i hate and offering instead two other directors i dislike, but for different reasons.

yeah. yep. that's what i'm doing.

SPITTAKE

As an MMO that takes many aspects of the Fallout universe to the extreme, it feels a movie version of Fallout 76 would be akin to a huge-budget, climatic MCU movie where it really helps if you've had previous with the series to get most enjoyment. As such, I feel the Russo brothers would take the reigns for Fallout 76. The result would be a jack-of-all-trades action-adventure that borrows bits of every previous Fallout to make something that appeals to a lot of people but, after watching, doesn't go down as something you'd rewatch for most all of them. Big, bright, wacky and action-filled, there's no doubting though that you get a spectacle and fun, though. Watch in two sittings over two nights (as the movie's runtime is 3 hours 47 minutes).

no. fuck you. i reject your premise. the Fallout game that shipped with no NPCs and expected the story to be entirely conveyed by set-pieces, environmental design, and audiologs?

resurrect Tarkovsky and give us FO76, desolate and beautiful with environmental shots that last seven minutes without a cut. because the only good thing about FO76 is the setting, the amount of effort put into building the actual space, so I want 90 minutes of film and seven pages of script.

Russo Brothers, get tf out of here