#lessbe REAL

[syxjaewon]

@serenitykrp‘s theme song

[cibguts-old]

It’s Barkugo

[creative-sweets]

"I dare you to put wasabi on your dick."

Such a bold statement. Yuuri didn't need to think long before replying:

"Only if you suck it."

A look of pain flashed across Phichit's face. Because this wasn’t American wasabi, but authentic, true to the pain, Japanese wasabi.

"Mmmm…" Phichit hums and Yuuri does not like the look that spreads over it. "How about we up the stakes: ghost pepper sauce."

Does��does Phichit want his dick to fall off? He states as much and watches the shit-eating grin grow.

"What, you chicken, Katsuki?"

Goddammit, Yuuri thinks, Phichit does not play fair. But that just means I don't have to either.

"Fine!" he all but shouts in their small room, "But only if you suck it!"

He relishes in the dead-inside look that sits on Phichit's face. But then he watches in silent horror at the determination that settles on his face.

"Alright, you've got yourself a deal."

They shake on it and everything.

And that's how they find themselves at the Emergency Department not a mere hours after those fateful words were spoken.

Yuuri sits in his own room, silently sending a plead to whoever might be listening that his parents—especially his mother—don't find out about this. He really should've read the student manual better. Or at all.

But instead, he's trapped on a white bed covered in cheap paper that crinkles with his every move with a burning dick.

At least his doctor is hot.

Victor couldn't believe the chart.

He reread it for the fourth time and turned to look at his intern with a confused look on his face.

"Don't look at me!" Yuri, his intern for this rotation schedule scoffs at him, "These young kids do whatever nowadays, remember all those preteens and the tide pods?"

Victor does indeed remember all those preteens and the tide pods.

Maybe they should rename this whole section of the city 'Detergent Derby' and just embrace their terrible penchant for the Forbidden Fruit™.

His confusion follows him into the room as he finally gets a look at his patient Yuuri Katsuki, 23 years old, admitted for burning on the penis from ghost pepper sauce.

What a brave soul.

"So, Mr. Katsuki," Victor starts, his professional mask slipping into place easily, "it looks here like you've got a problem."

"Ah, yeah…"

At least the college boy has some decency to look embarrassed. Though, if Victor's being honest, Yuuri doesn't look the type to do stupid fraternity hazing.

"How did this happen?"

Yuuri blushes at the bluntly put question. He rubs the back of his neck, "Well, it started off as a dare, really."

"I see. And what convinced you that it would be a good idea to do this?"

Yuuri simply shrugs and adverts his eyes as he mumbles, "The head was worth it."

He hears a choking sound and watches as Dr. Nikiforov rushes out the room.

Maybe he wasn't as quiet as he thought he was.

[fyrecrafted]

Rescued. (a fic?)

So Ive been going through hell lately. I really needed to feel some kinda hope through all this darkness so I wrote this.  Basically a lot of bullshit Im going through and a happy ending via and old friend Tom Hiddleston... the line between reality and wishes is slim, yet obvious. Written more to help myself get through this than anything. Its quickly written and prob a mess. 1k words

I mentioned the abusive situation I was in a few times online where everyone could see it... but... my closer friends on discord really saw a lot more of what was going on. And not everyone really had the full picture. I was too scared to say it all in one place. I didn't want all that gross toxicity I was living in to be put on any one group's shoulders. One day I got in a really bad headspace. I wanted it to all end. I didnt see a way out. Im disabled, mentally and physically... I can't really work in my current situation (not that I'm not trying, but I seriously doubt the employment services could help me... and, even though I filed for disability I kept getting denied because I couldnt get health coverage to get medical diagnosis... and yeah... I had tried the method you just thought of and no its not available... at least you didn't think of that one idea that one person had 'if you get pregnant you can have medical coverage for 9 months', I really hope you can see how fucking disgusting that idea is... if you can't I don't have hope that explaining it to you would help any.)

No... I do not have any other fucking family that could fucking help... holy shit... DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE HERE IF I DID? Why do people ask these same questions over and over...? On the other hand I do know people are trying to just help and feel powerless to do so... Well... back to where I was... One day I said a lot more about how bad it was... How I was told by my whole family that I was worth less than them because I cannot work... How my mom screamed that she hated me... How I was blamed for every single thing that went wrong, and I was expected to do all the housework even though Im not physically capable of doing so. I was basically a disabled fucking Cinderella... trapped by a world that wont let me escape because I dont have cash... So many people don't see that in this reality money = freedom. I felt so lost... Trapped and up against a wall with no way out. Even if I went to a shelter I'd lose my cats who act as my emotional support animals (lessbe real here, they are service animals but cuz criteria dnt really cover mental issues like ASD they cant be labeled as service animals... fuck that bullshit) and I'd likely have lost all my stuff that keeps me from going into a shutdown. (like my brain will just go into bad chaos mode and shut the fuck off for a bit... like I can do the basic life stuff but no more than that) So... like... big nope for mental health reasons, and prob would fuck with my physical disabilities too... A few hours after I posted about everything I got an anon asking if I would leave if a friend offered me a place to stay. No strings attached. I reblogged an answer: Yeah, if they were gonna take me and both cats and my stuff in and work with my handicaps and I knew they werent gonna use it as a way to murder my face and hide the body. Another Anon: Even if it was in the middle of the night? And the only way was to do it fast? Me: I mean... I'd have to really know 'em and trust them to do that... I'm a little concerned that an anon is asking this though tbh... kinda freaked out man... Anon: Well, you do know me. I promise. I just don't want to advertise my intentions and I can't really DM you atm. So, I'm doing it like this. Im so sorry its causing you added anxiety. Also I've been a long time follower and I absolutely love your work. Me: Yeah... Okay... Sure... Whatever... If you show up bring me a pizza... or something and a redbull and cat treats... lol... seriously doubt anyone would take the time to rescue me... It was late when I posted and several hours later (I have non-24 and no circadian rhythm so being up at weird times is nbd for me) I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a knock. I grabbed my cane and was ready to play whack a mole intruder edition... when I peeked through the door I couldn't believe my eyes... A friend I had so very long ago but lost contact with... Someone I watched online from afar... Someone who was looking at my raised cane with much concern on their face... Tom... Tom fucking Hiddleston...

'You could have asked... if I had known earlier I would have come. Also please put that down.' 'y-y-y-eah.' 'May I come in please. I brought the pizza and rebull.' He grinned 'um, okay. Uh watch out for the cats though. Everything is kinda a mess.' 'I really dont give a damn about the mess. Im more concerned about the shit you've been going through. No one deserves to go through all that. I would like to ask you to move in with me. I'm staying in Georgia at the moment until all this mess clears up and we finish filming. After that we can figure stuff out. I don't want you to worry about a damned thing right now. I want to do everything in a manner that will be the best for you. If something isn't okay let me know. If you need something let me know. Fuck, if you WANT something... LET ME KNOW. Please.'

We ate and chatted and I cried... a lot. We packed up my stuff, and the cats and disappeared into the night. The sun rose as we pulled into the city. A brand new life began for me that day. And I will never look back.

[woofools]

Nightmaster and/or Eradicus for the four headcanons?

ERADICUS

Headcanon A:  realistic

GIGANTIC horror-movie buff. Once he learns they’re a thing, anyway. He’s slightly disappointed to find out all the blood and guts aren’t real, but he can still appreciate the stories they offer.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

He has a ridonkulously huge crush on Ella-Mental. Buuuut since she’s technically his employee, he doesn’t think it��d be appropriate to date her, so he’s never said anything (‘bUt ErAdIcUs YoU’rE eViL wHy wOuLd YoU cArE?’ just because he’s evil doesn’t mean he doesn’t have STANDARDS, you little whelp! He doesn’t know how evildoers are doing things now, but back in his day—!)

He makes up for it by singling her out a lot, usually when he’s crabby. He seems to be under the weird impression that it’ll simultaneously cover his feelings for her but also clue her in that he has them?? (E-Rad you fucking donkey that’s not how that works!!)

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Way back in the day, griffons were considered hot commodities both for entertainment value (zoos and circuses and such) and their allegedly “medicinal” body parts. That they were a completely sentient species did nothing to dissuade either of these practices. Yay for that old-timey racism and self-entitlement over people with cultures different than your own, I guess.  

Eradicus lost pretty much everyone he ever knew to a raid looking to accommodate for the above. When he was like. Nine.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

After losing his family (and friends, and neighbors), he was “raised” by Indestructo-Bob. Bob was just wandering around one day and found what he thought was a really big parrot sniffling under a hedge. He then proudly proclaimed “Don’t worry, weird little birdy thing, Bob will protect you! :D” and hasn’t left him since.

(The fact that the “weird little birdy thing” was initially hissing and spitting and clawing at him like a very pissed off cat was completely lost on him.)

But yeah. It wasn’t so much like “teach him how to navigate the world until he was capable of being a self-sufficient, fully-functional adult” –raise him, because lessbe real here, it’s Bob. But he did offer emotional support to the fullest of his ability (not much at all really, but he tried) and he protected E-Rad when it counted. To this day Bob’s the minion Eradicus will go to if he wants company or just needs to vent.

NIGHT MASTER

Headcanon A:  realistic

His weakness to light is both a regular limitation of his species, and a side effect of his magic.

Y’know how his eyes are all black? That’s because they’re basically all pupil. He’d literally go blind if he exposed them to direct light for too long. That’s normal, it’s like that for all bats like him. As long as they wear proper protection, most can move around during the day just fine (if slightly cranky; they’re primarily nocturnal so they should be sleeping then). Our boy’s a little different in that regard. He specifically learned a bunch of shadow-based spells (which, incidentally, is why if he gets smacked he’ll just sort of liquefy, and how he does that slithery thing he’s so fond of, y’know?), so too much light will literally start frying him alive.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

So, remember how he snickered at the name “Mr. Fuzzle” in Wubble in Paradise? Yeah, he’s like that for all words that are funny or dirty sounding. Drop a “Uranus” in front of him and he’ll lose his mind. When he’s not maliciously screwing with people for kicks his sense of humor basically boils down to a bunch of innuendos.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

One of his greatest fears is (and has always been) being undeniably bested at something. He can usually worm his way out of whatever corner he’s been backed into and bring the situation to a draw. Sometimes he can even twist things in his favor. But then, obviously, sometimes he can’t. And if it’s obvious to other people that he’s lost, ohhh boy. He feels like the entire world’s looking at him going “ya dun fucked up asshole, now everyone knows how stupid you are.” Which taking the season 1 finale into account…

Also a freebie because I have a lot of this kind for him: He can’t actually fly without magic. He sustained an injury during childhood that messed up one of his wings so bad it doesn’t actually work anymore. He can’t use it to fly and his grip with that hand is significantly weaker than his other one.

And since he lost all his power to Coop, he’s essentially been permanently grounded.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

He didn’t actually wanna kill Yin and Yang?? I mean yeah, during their first confrontation he made a comment about turning them into bunny slippers – which, side thing, but everyone please take a moment to imagine the Night Master wearing a pair of (generic and bought from Walmart, not made from the skin of children) bunny slippers – but then nearly every time after that, he explicitly tries to talk them over to his side first. Whether you accept his offered reasoning that they’d be a decent asset to his cause (particularly considering the morons he usually works with) or suspect an ulterior motive is up to you, I’m just presenting the numbers.

[writerofblocks]

hey bridget who's your favorite homie to get drunk with

“ I’d saaaaaaaaay… Pierce. Lessbe real, he’s the fuckin’ life of every party. Can’t get a better fuckin’ wingman. Plus he’s a good listenener when I get to the fuckin’ weepy point of drunk. Good man. Good man. I take the pissouta him too much, someone fuckin’ smack me on that.”

[raretypespecimen]

lessbe real, the Only reason we like creepy, stalker monster boys and gross, yandre girls is cause we lonely n crave attention

[fenwxlf]

#hahaha i am being called out @valadhxfndr

//SHH NO I WASN’T CALLING YOU OUT bc lessbe real we all do it, and ain’t about to stop. Too engrained. Angrboda. Svadilfari. Even Midgard! (Miðgarðr) 

But it wasn’t us. This isn’t some new American or because of Marvel thing. It was the switch from Old Norse to Old English and even Danish and Saxon. So this who d vs ð thing has been around for a while.

[darksaphire2002]

Saph: *high-fives AJ on the way out*

Leo: *glares at me*

Saph: "Don't chu look at me like that, Blue...not like you haven stuffed my twinkie before, lessbe real."

Leo: Where’s Raph..? He’s running late for patrol Raph: *Walks out his room.* I was doing stuff AJ: *Walks out Raph’s room in a jockstrap.* Hi, I’m stuff.

@thelostandforgottenangel @bayverse-turtle-power

[wet-raccoon]

I kno I made gay McRee posts but lessbe real the dude is a homophobic straight man. Only a straight man can date sumeone like asshe the girl looks like she’s 5 seconds away from calling me a fag

[cyanidefilledcandy]

Why are there so many Ed Edd n Eddy “Bring Me to Life” AMVs?! O_o

Granted, my playlist for the Eds is pretty varied and some may even say “out there”, but did so many associate this song in particular with the Eds?