#like bro was the first red in third life and also the last

[amjustgoose]

I love how this Looney Toons ass man always manages to fumble his way into being one of, if not the single, deadliest people in the entirety of the Life series

[joyswonderland1108]

🪖💐 Jikook’s Military Discharge: The Pink Air, The Shared Showers, and Third-Wheeling Lives🌸🚿

✨Hi hello, I hope you're all hydrated, your emotions have recovered, your Jikook heart is intact (doubtful) and your Wi-Fi is stable because… JIKOOK ARE BACK FROM THEIR MILITARY HONEYMOON—I MEAN SERVICE. And somehow, in true Jikook fashion, even gayer than before.✨

So first things first, our military husbands finally finished their 18-month service, and naturally, chaos ensued the moment they appeared together. It wasn’t even 10 seconds into their joint discharge and these two were already giggling like freshly confessed teenagers at a school talent show. Why were they being all shy and flustered like it was the first day of their arranged marriage?? Also… the bouquet. Jimin got a pink bouquet, his cheeks were pink, his vibe was pink, the literal air around him was pink. The gay radiance was unmatched.

They each gave a little speech because of course they did. And what does Jungkook do? Stands completely turned toward Jimin like it’s instinct. At this point, his magnetic north is just “Park Jimin.” It's like he was absorbing solar power from him. Truly, if Jimin moved an inch, JK would’ve toppled over like a sim whose energy bar ran out.

And THEN they left the base in the same car. THE SAME. CAR. When was the last time we saw them get into the same vehicle like that? Let’s rewind to Vegas 2022. So yeah. It’s giving full circle. It’s giving reunion. It’s giving “we survived the front lines AND each other for 18 months, let’s ride home together babe.”

Anyway, we all waited like starving pigeons outside a bakery while they headed to HYBE to settle in, hydrate, and probably fight over who gets the big towel. Two hours pass, and we get The Live™. That cursed blessed Live. Oh god.

Now, Jungkook told us he doesn’t have much to say. Sounds chill, right? But then somehow spends the next 20 minutes only talking to Jimin. You know, the same man he literally spent 18 months with. Like okay, maybe military regulations banned them from speaking to each other? Maybe they were telepathing the whole time? Either way, it was clear we were third wheeling in that Live. We were just the background audience to whatever romantic sitcom they’re filming.

Apparently, there are still “many stories” they want to tell us, but can’t yet. Because they were tired, hungry, AND they need to confirm what they’re allowed to say. Which honestly just screams: we did some borderline fanfiction-level things and need to get clearance before accidentally confirming your ships. Got it.

Let’s talk about the gay shenanigans:

In classic gay chaos, Jimin casually mentions how in the early weeks of service, he woke up with Jungkook’s face right in front of him. Not even 12 hours post-discharge and they’re already telling us about their morning like it was the morning after prom. And JK? He just “wanted to lean on Jimin.” SIR. We are trying to survive out here. This is not a BL web drama, it’s real life.

JK, without hesitation, hit us with, “I was going to shower but Jimin was busy so I waited.” SORRY? You waited for him to finish… so you could... shower together???Jungkook-ssi, correct me if I’m wrong but this is “buddy enlistment,” not “buddy bathe together.” No one is stopping you from showering except your own inner romantic. That was NOT in the standard issue enlistment brochure. But I guess when you're Jikook, the rules just… don’t apply. WHO WAITS FOR THEIR BRO TO SHOWER TOGETHER??? Now. The shower thing needs to be underlined, bolded, and circled in red. Jungkook quite literally chose not to shower alone because Jimin wasn’t available. Let that sink in. He waited. Like it was a date. Imagine the casual audacity of saying, “Oh yeah I’ll shower after you finish your thing so we can go together 💖” …in front of millions.

Anyway, JK brought out a photo strip during the live. And it was giving couple booth energy. We haven't seen the full thing yet but i hope it's coming, I hope it drops and if it does? We riot in the streets in matching satin pajamas.

Oh and Jimin, baby angel, says: “When we enlisted, we just thought it would be nice to be together.” NO THOUGHTS. NO PLANS. JUST VIBES. They didn't even check the military logistics. They were just like, “Let’s do this thing together, consequences be damned!” Because being apart wasn’t an option, apparently. They didn’t even consider that they might be sent to different divisions or—oh, I don’t know—the front lines?? Because Jikook logic says: “Where you go, I go.” No thoughts, just love and matching buzzcuts. 🤝

And THEN, there’s the legendary tummy poke moment™. Jimin’s stomach growled (same), and JK POKED HIS TUMMY LIKE A FREAKING CARTOON CHARACTER IN LOVE. Cue me screaming into a void.

And THEN we got the moment that truly encapsulates the domestic Jikook energy: Jungkook, ever the soft romantic, tried to feed Jimin a rose petal. Yes, an edible flower, placed delicately on the cake like a metaphor for their whole existence: beautiful, unexpected, a little extra. He picks it up with such intention and offers it to Jimin like he’s recreating a wedding reception moment. It’s the fact that Jungkook saw a flower and thought “Jimin should eat this” that sends me into the stratosphere. Why? Because love is feeding your soulmate flowers on a live broadcast and giggling while doing it.

The entire live was a rollercoaster. Between the giggles, the accidental flirting, the “I missed you even though you were right there” energy, and Jungkook poking Jimin’s tummy like a human teddy bear, I was on the floor. Jimin's hand on Jungkook’s lap while reading comments, Jungkook rubbed Jimin’s neck when he got nervous. IT WAS DOMESTIC. IT WAS INTIMATE. IT WAS EVERYTHING.

Now listen. I don’t like to jump to conclusions but I’m jumping and the conclusion is: they are in love and they don’t care who knows.

And they kept talking to each other. They were so giddy and awkward and shy it felt like we were third-wheeling their post-military honeymoon getaway debrief.

So to summarize:

Jimin: “Woke up JK's face right in front of him in the military dorms.”

JK: “Waited for Jimin so they could shower together.”

Both: “Have so many stories but don’t know what’s safe to share.” (GOD WHAT ARE YOU HIDING)

And just when you thought it couldn’t get better, Jimin says, “We have many stories. We should do this more often.” Oh? Is that a promise? Is that a weekly livestream deal I just heard?? Because if not, I will be suing for emotional damages. That’s false advertising. So guess what? I’m holding them legally accountable. That was a verbal contract, and I’m expecting weekly bedtime story Lives where they spoon under a shared blanket and tell us about the time Jimin made Jungkook ramen at 2AM on base. (It happened. Don’t ask for proof.)

And look. I know some of you are gonna say “they’re just besties” and to that I say: grow up. Jikook are literally in their Soft Military Boyfriends Era™ and if you can’t see it, your shipper lens expired in 2019.

And just when the emotional damage was almost manageable, just when our hearts had barely stabilized, they posted The Selfie™. The discharged, glowing, rosy-cheeked, post-live, shared-car, shared-shower, flower-feeding boyfriend selfie.

Honestly? They didn’t just return from the military. They returned to each other.

Jikook is not just real. They are thriving.

Welcome to Post-Military Domestic Jikook. We are so back.

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 5 Thoughts

(Except I'm insane about Martyn's ep)

LIFE SERIES TRIVIA is DIABOLICAL! The watchers literally being like "how well do you guys know your pain and suffering?" (also sorry only winners remember theory truthers)

The way Grian and Scar are such bitter ex-soulmates that Mumbo has to point it out is hilarious. (also them getting even and saying "Just like Third Life" hurt my heart)

Grian not remembering iconic moments from his own series is so funny. What do you mean he only knows Martyn beheaded Ren with an axe from fanart? Grian gaining possession of the Red Winter Axe was a whole plot point.

MUMBO FIRST OUT! IN SESSION 5! The canary curse is broken for real now guys but at what cost.

Grian standing on the ruins of the tower by himself going through the five stages of grief over Mumbo's death as the sun rises in the background is a gorgeous piece of fanart waiting to happen

Martyn you didn't need to start the episode by talking about how Ren is providing for you, you're asking for the shipping at this point 🤣

MARTYN YOU DO THE LORE OFC JIMMY AND TANGO WERE OUT FIRST. Also REN YOU WERE LITERALLY IN DOUBLE LIFE. RIP Ren/BigB we know where his true loyalties lie

THE TWO NICKLES MEME BREAKING CONTAINMENT I CAN'T

Ren inviting BigB to join the RenWood Mound alliance WITHOUT REMEMBERING DOUBLE LIFE is so insane I don't even know what to say.

OF COURSE SCAR REMEMBERS THE DESERT DUO FLOWERS I'M GOING TO BE SICK

Martyn and Ren saying they're going to be boat bros. This has been coming since last session but I NEED Joel and Etho to call them out on it

"We're boat boys," MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD WHEN I CATCH YOU-

Etho yelling for Bdubs to hit him so they could test if the wildcard affected damage and then Tango going "smack me harder~" in the background was diabolical. Suuuure you guys are all PG.

Etho sitting in a boat for Joel to jump over him feels like some boat boys relationship symbolism I'm not smart enough to explain

So Etho is currently living with team BET, but allied with the Four Gs, and in the family with Gem and Joel. Wildcard Etho is so back!

Of course Impulse immediately remembered the clock question.

Joel boasting about how he immediately knows all the questions is peak Joel form and I would expect nothing less. It is kind of warranted though because everybody else is waffling on the simple ones.

Joel is now two for two on unquestioningly trusting Etho only to have something bad happen to him and not even being mad about it what is wrong with this man 😭

Does Joel have the censor bleep on his keyboard or did he just straight up start swearing at Tango and know they would both have to censor it in post to get the effect that he was also making the noise?

Scott's gone from a creaking fanboy to a body horror situation and I'm living for it (also considering he's agreed to "go wild" this session--am I sensing a Scott corruption arc?)

Scott cutting directly from saying he and Jimmy were never married even though they called each other husbands to a scene WITH Jimmy was kind of an insane choice

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Girldad has been confirmed by Scott as the actual reason for the 4Gs. I still think Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss ImpulseSV is funnier but good to have an official ruling

Scott giving up his life for Pearl and them being good natured about it and calling it therapy! I love them so much!

Lizzie being the only person who's not exicted when a trivia bot spawns is so funny. Even the other players who weren't in all the seasons don't seem to be as miffed by them as she is.

Lizzie's flaming snail arising out of that hole while smiling is potentially the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why did it look like that 🤣

[blueishspace]

Third Life if it had life trading, random lives and a boogeyman.

I use a randomizer to choose a boogeyman, it decided to pick Scott.

I used a randomizer for the lives too: Scott and Tango have 6 lives. Scar and Ren have 5 lives. Jimmy, Skizz and Martyn have 4 lives. Grian, Bdubs and BigB have 3 lives. Joel, Etho, Cleo and Impulse have 2 lives.

Scar's death remains the same, so are the immediate consequences. Scar has 4 lives left.

Scott tells Jimmy about the boogeyman curse but doesn't kill him. Since Martyn visting is the only time he's alone with someone who isn't Jimmy he is probably the victim. Martyn has 3 lives left.

Skizz's death happens the same. Skizz has 3 lives left.

Talking about Skizz, he's chosen by the randomizer to be boogeyman in session 2, as It's still the start and everyone is alive I do think he manages to kill someone. He does interact with a bunch of people during the session but only Cleo, Etho and Martyn he was aline with... Both Cleo and Etho wouldn't have been easy to attack and both he saw at the start. Martyn however is with him alone in the Nether, so Skizz just punches him into lava. (Possibly as revenge for almost killing him with lava) Martyn is at 2 lives.

BdoubleO still dies to the phantom, he's at 2 lives.

For session 3 the randomizer chose Etho... In session 3 Etho has a perfect chance when Cleo and Bdubs are on trapdoors above a deep hole... I think he dunks Cleo (who he was closer to) killing them. Cleo is the first red of the series.

Scar still falls to his death during the science bros bit. Scar has 3 lives left.

Session 4 was chosen to have 2 boogeys: Tango and Scar.

Tango is set by canon as he likely still makes Dare to Flare and therefore gets Joel which I count as a boogey kill. He also gets Jimmy though only one counts as a boogey kill. Jimmy goes to 3 lives and Joel goes to red.

Scar... I feel like he tells Grian and is therefore also set by actual third life as Grian like in canon comes up with the tnt trap which this time they build together. Jimmy, Ren and Skizz dying is therefore a boogey kill. Jimmy goes to 2 lives, Ren to 4 and Skizz to 2.

I believe Scott gives Jimmy a life, it is most logical as it: One, Helps an ally. Two, makes Scott himself less of a target in the process. Jimmy goes back to 3 lives and Scott goes to 5.

Session's 5 boogeyman is Impulse. He spends most of the session with 2+ people... however he does spend a short amount of time at Etho's base alone meaning he has the time to trap it which shouldn't be hard for a redstoner. So Etho goes to red.

Red Winter never comes as Ren has 4 lives and wouldn't want to lose 3 of them.

The Fire arrow game still happens, Etho doesn't play but Tango does going down to 5 lives.

Joel still accidentally walks into fire putting him out of the game first... However Grian has no reason to trap the elevator so Bdubs does not die.

By the end of session 5: Tango and Scott have 5 lives. Ren has 4 lives. Scar, Grian, Jimmy and BigB have 3 lives. Martyn, Skizz, Impulse and Bdubs have 2 lives. Cleo and Etho have 1 life. Joel is out.

Session 6 was chosen by the randomizer to have 4 different boogeyman: Scott, Jimmy, BigB and Martyn.

Scott and Jimmy are teammates so they likely plan together...or Scott plans and tells Jimmy what do... no better married activity then murdering together I say. Martyn tries to get Scott, using the boogeyman as an excuse to get back at him for killing him... I think he fails, he is killed and goes to red in the process. Scott is cured but Jimmy Isn't so they keep their already made plan to cure Jimmy as well.

Ren offers Martyn a life since he has 4 but Martyn refuses as this is their chance to attack other groups without the boogeyman curse.

BigB has been peaceful for most of the 5 previous sessions and is now Boogeyman... If he acts like in Last Life he probably waits until sometimes makes him panic kill the person closest to him at the time...which is for most of the session Ren. So... BigB panic attacks Ren betraying Dogwarts in the process and is probably killed by Martyn immediately after. Ren drops to 3 lives and BigB to 2.

Going back to Jimmy and Scott... I don't doubt they go after Cleo and Bdubs. Grian and Scar are sorta allies by this point, they won't be able to take Ren, Martyn and Skizz and Bdubs is hardly careful. Scott is a tactician, he knows Bdubs the best bet... Except Bdubs spend most of the session with a red life Cleo which means a change of plan is necessary... But a change of plans at this part of the session is unlikely to work.

Impulse meets Tango, it's not unlikely he asks for a life... I think considering Hermitcraft as well that Tango asks in exchange for an IOU and something physical to represent it. Impulse has one semi-valuable but useless thing that can be used as a symbol for the IOU, he has a clock. Tango drops to 4 lives and Impulse goes to 3.

Scott is a tactician, before the end of the session he asks Jimmy to "borrow" a life until the next one. Jimmy does so, he goes back to 2 lives and putting Scott back to 6... Soon after Jimmy fails the boogeyman kill and goes to red.

At the beginning of session 7 Scott gives Jimmy 2 lives, putting him back to 3 and dropping to 6. (In alternate irl: That kind of trick is explicitely said to be illegal before the next season) (In alternate lore: The Watchers angy at Scott one season earlier...record)

Session 7 has *randomizer time* 2 boogeymen: Grian and Impulse.

Impulse already trapped the trader hall in canon so It's not unlikely he does so here as well...which means when Grian and Scar come visit there's a chance he "accidentally" kills one of them when they trigger a trap... knowing them It's probably Scar who goes down to 2 lives.

With Martyn and Etho as reds Dogwarts still goes after the Monopoly mountain alliance (Desert Duo + Flower Ranchers) which in this timeline also contains BigB after he betrayed Dogwarts.

So Grian still blows up the desert. Grian dies, so does Scott, then Jimmy...followed by Cleo and Tango and Martyn...and later Impulse and Skizz (whose death cures Grian of the curse). Cleo and Martyn are out of the game.

At the end of session 7: Tango, Scott and Ren have 3 lives. Scar, Grian, Impulse Jimmy, Bdubs and BigB have 2 lives. Etho and Skizz have 1 life. Martyn, Cleo and Joel are out.

Session 8 has 3 boogeymen: Scar, Tango and Scott... At this point in time Dogwarts is their biggest enemy so this is the perfect chance to attack them unprompted. Dogwarts is surrounded, Tango kills Skizz, Scott kills Etho and Scar kills Ren. Dogwarts is destroyed and Scar takes the enchanter.

Ren with 2 lives is left alone and becomes courtless, without resources he's killed by mobs and finally becomes the red king.

Session 8 ends with only one red lifer left and relative peace in the land of third life.

Session 9 in turn only has 1 boogeyman: Bdubs... considering his track record I think he just kills the first person he can find...which is either Impulse or Tango... flipped a coin It's Impulse. Impulse becomes red.

Ren tries to get revenge and traps Scotts and Jimmy's base (aka the base more likely not to have people in it when he does it). Considering Scott is good at avoiding traps and Jimmy is not we can say Jimmy dies and becomes red.

Impulse tries to kill Bdubs but Tango saves his ally by gifting Impulse a life.

Jimmy turns on Grian and is killed in the process. (Jimmy does stuff like this in Last Life, Limited Life and Secret Life once he goes red so It's not unlikely he does it here as well). Scott kills Grian for killing Jimmy and is killed by Scar and BigB immediately after.

By the end of session 9: Scar, Scott, Impulse, Tango, Bdubs and BigB have 2 lives. Ren and Grian have 1 life. Jimmy, Etho, Skizz, Martyn, Cleo and Joel are out.

Session 10 is Scar, Grian and BigB vs Scott vs Bdubs, Tango and Impulse vs Ren. Scar is killed early on, then Bdubs, BigB, Tango, Impulse and Rem. (This is just based on general skill and at this point this is much more fanfiction then analysis). I think by the end of the fight Bdubs and BigB are out as well and everyone else is red.

The last people alive are Scar, Grian, Scott, Tango and Impulse. Since Scott is alone I doubt he survives this, since Scott is a good fighter I think he brings someone down with him. Since Grian kill Jimmy I think Scott kills Scar before dying leaving Grian, Impulse and Tango.

Impulse and Tango work together to get rid if Grian and remain the last people alone...

Tango takes out the clock IOU and asks Impulse not to fight back.

Tango wins Third Life.

[rosehippiefield]

Tell me your top 5 fav Pokemons, or I'll steal the pie (Vasiliy got a day off). 🔫

Sending love your way <333

Ня <3

Nooo not the pie I need to bait Charizards with it >_<

This is actually quite difficult to do because beside the most favorite I like many of them equally

The first is of course Charizard. I'm the most basic Pokemon enjoyer but come on - he's litterally a dragon! Big, powerful and noble (he doesn't attack weaker enemies with fire unless directly commanded by trainer according to Pokedex description). Plus, I watched anime first and Ash's Charizard is one of the most memorable Pokemon: his backstory is heartwrenching, him finally obeying Ash was so satisfying (even if I learned about it only about 7 years after I watched anime for the first time). He just feels so dependable. And squishy. When I had to change weaker Pokemon to him in Fire Red I even called him Big Bro Charizard

The second is... Mewtwo! After rewatching two movies with him I liked this Pokemon so much! To me he feels like a person the most out of them. His arc of accepting himself as a being, as someone with his own place in this world despite being a clone... He acted cruelly, pitting living creatures against each other just because they were born differently. But I love characters who aren't fully evil, reflect and change their ways. His whole life story is melancholic, but there is hope. Also he's technically a cat

The third and remaining places... It's a tough battle between all other Kanto starters in their first forms, Pikachu and Vulpix (I know that would be six but... please don't make me choose...) . They are just so cute! I even find myself calling Bulbasaur "Bulbazavrik" because of cuteness agression. As for Pikachu, he is the main Pokemon of the anime, so of course he had a lot of screen time, during which he captivated my heart. Pika is such an adorable sound too. As for Squirtle, he's cool! Especially in anime. He's turtle ninja! Last but not least, Vulpix is also extremelly cute and I liked his design so much! Those tails, the "hair"... I looved the episode featuring it in the first season.

Well, I guess that's all... There are so many pokemon I really like, it's unfair to choose >_< Abra is cute and becomes really usefull after evolution, Oddish is cutie that can heal himself (herself in my playthrough) by damaging enemy, Nidorans are adorable, Togepi is adorable, Phyduck looks funny, Butterfree is adorable... Too many of them are adorable.

Ня <333

[shivayagojo]

never invite julius to a field trip | the human art of film social media au

a social media of my ocs from my novel : the human art of film make sure to get your copy of the novel on amazon

helenamonte13

liked by andrea_marie, elis3violet and 45,346 more

tagged: andrea_marie

helenamonte13: CODE RED!! CODE RED!! I finally convinced Andrea to direct one of my films. The secret: a lot of ice tea.

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user1: THE RUMORS WERE TRUE!!

user2: bestie i luv you, but why on earth are you writing with a typewriter in this century

helenamonte13: julius broke my computer 😤😤

user3: julius is there??!!

andrea_marie: it did not take a lot of convincing. she's just being overdramatic

helenamonte13: that's because i know your secret 😏

andrea_marie: 🙄

helenamonte13: luv ya bestie😘

user4: sorry new here. who's andrea in the pics?

helenamonte13: the shriveled director in pic 2

andrea_marie: my hair is fine!!!

user5: welcome to the club

user6: she's also in the last pic with helena

elise3violet: why no pics of me?

user7: oh my god! elise is there!

helenamonte13: don't worry darling. i got u in the next one.

juliusclaymore

liked by helenamonte, andrea_marie, and 67,239 others

juliusclaymore: no idea where andrea made me fly to but i kinda dig the aesthetic. oh. i also brought homer with me.

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user8: homer got that dawg in him! literally

user9: probably got more brain cells than julius does 🤣

andrea_marie: you just landed and the first place you head to is IKEA?!!

juliusclaymore: you didn't give me any more instructions than "just get here." how was i supposed to know?

juliusclaymore: besides, look at that shark

andrea_marie: ... i'll let it slide

carlos.diez: bro how come you got there earlier? our planes boarded at the same time.

user10: im freaking out!! carlos is in the project he has to be!

user11: at this point it's confirmed. he never comments unless he's involved

user12: are we just gonna ignore the fact that ANDREA CALLED FOR JULIUS! meaning JULIUS IS WORKING ON THE FILM??!!

nico_silvus

liked by andrea_marie, helenamonte13, and 1,235,426 others

nico_silvus: I've arrived!! Had to take a quick stop at the NY airport - still crazy to see my face on those billboards. Oh also, picnic pics.

P.S: Julius tripped on the grass.

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📌 pinned by nico_silvus

andrea_marie: missed you so much 💞

nico_silvus: missed you too (dad also said hi)

user14: there are three things guaranteed in life: death, taxes, and andrea marie liking nico's post in 53 seconds.

user15: Mother has arrived

user16: Oscar incoming 💪💪

juliusclaymore: that grass was slippery alright

nico_silvus: the last time it rained was like 3 weeks ago. u legit just tripped on grass.

helenamonte13: at least u can said u've touched grass (unlike evan)

evanbenson: why am i catching strays?

user17: man, why does everyone got something against julius

user18: it's a julius thing

helenamonte13

liked by elis3violet, juliusclaymore, and 144,345 others

tagged: elise3violet

helenamonte13: photodump of my baby bc y'all think i forgot about her. luv ya elise for making me look good in all my photos.

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user19: when the photographer is the photo 🔥

elis3violet: let me know when you finally move out of LA. you can live in my neighborhood.

user20: girl good luck getting her out of there

helenamonte13: you can take me out of LA, but you can never take the LA out of me.

nico_silvus: RIP Julius

juliusclaymore: i'm not even in these pics. why am i being targeted??

helenamonte13: cause we had to take that third pick like 20 times cause you kept stealing the food!!

juliusclaymore: but it was a good egg sandwich. you should've tried it.

nico_silvus: wait @elise3violet you gave him the sandwich???

elise3violet: ... yeah.

helenamonte13: baby you said I could have it.

carlos.diez: wait you guys are getting food?

user21: sometimes i think these guys forgot dms are a thing

user22: no don't tell them. i need their juicy lore.

carlos.diez

liked by helenamonte13, nico_silvus, and 342,531 more

carlos.diez: i got stuck on picture duty so here it is I guess. the food is pretty good, but I also got stuck paying for it, so bleh. but thank you andrea for inviting us out. (pro tip: never invite julius to a field trip).

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user23: poor Carlos. he had to pay AND take pictures.

juliusclaymore: appreciate the pics carlos. that one of me is going in the history books

andrea_marie: who gave you that little scooter in the first place?

helenamonte13: he def stole it from a kid

juliusclaymore: FALSE ACUSSATIONS!

andrea_marie: you're welcome carlos. good to catch up with my old class before we start filming.

ginadawn: my flight gets delayed once and you have all the fun without me 🥲

andrea_marie: dw gina. when u and matthew arrive we're gonna throw another party.

helenamonte13: i know damn well you didn't read a single word of that fat ass book.

carlos.diez: anything for the gram.

user24: lmao not carlos outing himself

nico_silvus: ❤️❤️

carlos.diez: 🫶(pls tell ur new, better dad im sorry for getting a noise complain on your bday party)

andrea_marie

liked by nico_silvus, elis3violetn, and 2,375,573 others

andrea_marie: thank you for all the memories (past and present) and im ready to make a film with all of you once again. even though we kind of ruined the air bnb, won't forget this night.

P.S: Gina and Matthew also arrived - love you guys.

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user25: based on vibes alone this film is gonna win the oscars

user26: incoming andrea marie masterpiece

carlos.diez: i'm so glad i didn't get a noise complaint this thime.

andrea_marie: i would've kicked you of the film if you did.

nico_silvus: i think we learned a lot from this... mostly don't give julius any form of sugar

juliusclaymore: guys i though we moved on from this

helenamonte13: you moved on, we didn't.

elis3violet: my car smells like bleach water, but in a good way.

evanbenson: sorry for the car, but appreciate the ride.

helenamonte13: let's go cook up a masterpiece now.

note: these are characters from my story The Human Art of Film. you are free to use them in a noncommercial way (fanfiction, shitpost, memes, etc). also check out the novel on amazon under the name Shivaya Gojo. hope you enjoyed.

[bisaster-energy]

you can tell me about your idea!!!

thank you so much 😭 it's kinda long sorry

SO i was listening to a song my sister like (Valerie, Amy Winehouse) and there's this line about ginger hair and it was just so specific ig it stuck with me? so im thinking man who do i know with red hair...DUH KUWABARA!!!

nearly every song i listen to gets assigned a character or ship or relationship of some sort idk why but yeah once i fixated on the hair i was able to expand on the rest of the song and a sort of idea settled in the back of my head about kuwameshi

we all know kuwabara is always the one getting left behind but what if while he's off doing his thing yusuke also feels that sense of loss? an absence even though it was his decision to up and leave. it makes no sense cos hey! you felt the need to go back to the demon realm bro but he cannot help how he feels left behind in some illogical sense. i made some notes 😤😤

centers round the time where yusuke goes back to makai after the whole sensui debacle and kuwabara is getting his education studying in prep for college (hell yeah boy !!) not sure if the timelines even match up like that but i literally dont care

i'm working under the canon divergence that keiko really did decide she's not gonna wait for urameshi like that but ofc she's still his bestie and he loves her sooooo much <3

so he's going back. he's a demon now so he feels drawn to the culture. it's a side of himself he's never known after feeling so othered ofc he's interested right?

i mean sure he grew up with other humans but almost everyone hated him/was scared of him ironically he was called a demon or monster or wtv

reactions like that are why he almost decided not to come back to life in the first place!! it wasn't a welcoming atmosphere and even his home didn't feel great cos his mom isn't exactly the mothering type

im all for deadbeat moms but the neglect will fuck a kid up. demon heritage or not

and he loves her and all but it's just all fucked up at home so he ended up wandering around a lot being mad about his shitty life and he likes fighting so that's what he did!

and obviously in makai this behavior isnt like. crazy or uncalled for

but yeah the only connections he's got to ningenkai is his mom, keiko (her parents by extension) and of course kuwabara; the only friends he managed to not scare off

anyway. you get it. so yusuke is back in makai and without his permission his mind keeps wandering to kuwabara who he hasn't seen in let's say. a year and some change? i'll decide later but A While

and like. last time he was in the demon world kuwa was WITH him yknow? like yeah the world was ending but it feels weird without him even if he is having a blast fighting with his new demon buddies and acquaintances

so he's a little distracted when he literally came here to fight he cant even focus on it

"how is college prep treating him? are the teachers there just as bad as middle school? did he make new human friends? a girlfriend?" basically he's spiraling over changes he might be missing out on this very moment

there's a bunch of talk in the song where the singer wonders if valerie dyed her hair if she's busy if she ever paid that fine if she sold her house if she got a man so that's where i got it lol

yusuke doesn't have to worry about kurama and hiei cos hey they're from here and have lived way longer and they actually do visit but who knows what typa shit could be happening to kuwa right now

ofc he can take care of himself he's really strong but yusuke can't help but remember that time he let kuwabara go when he shouldn't have and he almost died because he wasn't there and yeah. he's worried. sue him

so it's half worry half wistfulness and maybe some other secret third thing and when hiei and maybe kurama (depending on how the idea forms as i write) come to visit or maybe they're also participating wtv

he cant help but think well kuwabara could be here with us if he really WANTED to :/ he's got the jigen to down pat by now so...why hasn't he...

and those old but ever remaining insecurities resurface about how people don't wanna be around him they think he's a nuisance at best no good waste of time a trouble maker. keiko already dumped my sorry ass so who knows maybe kuwabara just...wisened up

hiei and kurama are like this bitch is back on his bullshit (affectionate)

they manage to weedle his worries out of him hiei ofc trying to act like he doesnt really care (he cares a lot) "you must not have much faith in kuwabara if you think he'd abandon you just from some time apart. and i thought HE was the oaf between the two of you"

kurama with his fox self is like "well yes hiei is right of course kazuma is too loyal to do something like that. but he is human...the only human of us now."

yusuke is like wth is that supposed to mean on the defensive even tho kurama is their friend and hasn't even said anything untrue and hiei narrows his eyes a bit maybe but is still acting like this doesn't really concern him

"i just mean that...from what i've learned about humans over the time i've spent with them...time feels different. we demons live such long lives that when faced with the human lifespan well...it can be laughable to some. that's why demons can be so callous about their lives."

yusuke just wants him to get to the point ofc "what i'm saying is we don't need a lot of contact with each other to keep relationships fresh and healthy but, kuwabara might be a little different. 3 years will do nothing to your bond but...i do worry about longer periods..."

and he seems to just trail off and it just gets quiet and a little sad and hiei isn't looking at them anymore

kurama starts again pretty cheerfully tho "well, don't worry! i'm planning on staying in the human world for quite some time once i'm done with this visit! i do have the company to take care of so i'll make sure to see kazuma all the time! i'll even send him a message from you if you want to say anything :)"

kurama has deliberately been using kuwa's first name knowing damn well urameshi doesn't even use it because this dude is not JUST a sweetie he's a fucking master manipulator. gaslight gatekeep bbg

yusuke is like okay yeah no new plan i'll just go see him now. no need for a middle man thanks anyway and then he's just gone. left the tournament early. like bruh that's what you came here for 😐

so yeah he's breaking into kuwa's house next thing you know and ofc he goes through the window not the door like a normal person and he just kinda stops short because he hasn't seen his friend in what feels like forever even though it's only been like a year or so but he just looks so different

and yeah a big part might be the hair he's never seen without that popadour, long soft copper coils, and he's somehow even bigger than when yusuke left him jesus when did he get so swole? when did he have time in between all those brainiac classes

yusuke knows he's bound to look a lil different too ofc i mean they weren't kids anymore really but like. when they hell did you go and grow up?

"next time i come back is this even gonna be your house anymore? will you still wanna hang out with dropout delinquent demon urameshi?" he gets so insecure in so little time

anyway kuwabara didn't sense him at first cos yusuke isn't a threat and he never really thought he'd be coming especially not yet but when he does notice

kuwabara just gets the biggest goofiest grin he's like urameshi you dog when the hell did you get back in town you're early!!

and yusuke is significantly eased by this reaction but now he feels stupid cos he up a left everything just to what? bother kuwabara while he studies to achieve his dreams? yusuke has got no human world aspirations like keiko had. like kurama has. like kuwabara.

and ofc kuwabara looks glad to see him but he wasn't desperate enough to just show up like yusuke had just done and he feels like a pathetic loser so he pouts

he's like yeah hey man just uh. checking in. and i should probably check out hah you seem busy with your books so im gonna scram and he tries to retreat through the window

and ofc kuwa is NOT letting him get away

and there's that desperation yusuke had selfishly wanted to see. kuwabara had just grabbed him without thinking even though he'd promised himself when urameshi left he wasn't gonna just sit around waiting for his life to start when he came back

he remembers when yusuke took him into that headlock and he wanted to succeed like he said he would that day

but still he's just thinking about urameshi all the time and it's awful. he always said he was gonna beat him some day but he just wanted to be near him. but all he sees is his back, even right now

part ii cos it's too many words!

[crow-in-gotham]

BLOG POST NO. 9 - RED HOOD IN MY APARTMENT, HOPE THIS DOESN’T KEEP HAPPENING

Are the Gotham vigilantes okay? Specifically Red Hood? And I don’t mean that in a physical way (although I do wonder how most of them are still alive despite the concerning amount of bodily harm they apparently go through) but in more of a mental way—

I know that the obvious answer is no (wearing spandex and hidden body armor and going around jumping on rooftops to fight villains isn’t exactly something a sane person would do, and plus there’s not a single actual sane person in Gotham anyway) but I still gotta ask.

Now, I live— like— basically in Crime Alley, right? Not really smack-dab in the middle of it (thank fuck) but on the outskirts (do I count that was a win?). So basically, I am still within what people say is Red Hood’s territory (which, you know— thank fuck again). Essentially, what this means is that I get to encounter the vigilantes every once in a while. Not like a whole lot (I don’t see them everyday— or, well, everynight I guess?) but definitely more times than I have ever encountered a hero back when I lived in the Pearl of the Orient Seas (Philippines. I’m talking about the Philippines—).

So, story time: I was walking home, as you do, after my shift at the Gotham City Public Library (for context to those reading this without it, I work there in my spare time). Mr. Gordon (he keeps telling me to call him Jim but my Filipino ancestors would incinerate me so no) was busy with a case so he couldn’t drive me home this time— which, you know, not to worry, it isn’t the first time this has happened anyway, so it’s cool.

So there I am, just going “lalala” to my humble abode. I had managed to get all the way to my block with no incidents. So the walk was going great.

Well, up until I was about 3 buildings away from my apartment and I suddenly got dragged into a dark alleyway by some nutjob wearing a ski mask. Honestly I thought that kind of get-up only appeared in movies or TV shows, but I digress. The dude pulled a gun on me and threatened to shoot if I didn’t give him all my money. So basically your average mugging experience, right?

So I did what any normal human being (read: insane) would do and gave him my wallet. I mean what else was I supposed to do, just beg for my life and cry? I’m way too self-deprecating for that shit, and also I stopped giving a fuck by the third time something like this happened.

Plus, if a mugger or deranged serial killer or one of the fucked up villains of Gotham don’t kill me first, then my degree will finish the job :) (I think I need therapy. But do I really? Nahh)

Any-fucking-way, unfortunately for ski-mask-mcgee over here, he decided to mug one of the types of people that he shouldn’t mug: a broke college student. Like bro, there’s literally nothing in my wallet other than a measly $3 and a lollipop. What the fuck did you expect?

So he takes my $3 (rude) then fucking points the gun at me again and threatens to shoot (that threat’s getting old) if I don’t hand him everything I have. And I’m like— dude wtf? That’s literally everything I have, right there in your hand?? What do I look like, the fucking city bank?

I was starting to get annoyed (and cold because god it was freezing) when suddenly, a shadow just swoops down and lands next to us. Dude in the ski mask panicked and shot at the general direction of whatever the fuck decided to drop by (literally) but then quickly got incapacitated after getting punched in the face by said shadow person.

Then they stepped into the light to zip tie the mugger’s hands together (because handcuffs are so last season) and lo and behold, can you guess who it is? That’s right, it’s the Red Hood! Claps and cheers all around (I was so dead tired that I just deadpanned when I saw who it was).

He asked me if I was alright, yada yada, you know, basic “I just saved you, I hope you’re okay” 101, with a dash of barely managed anger issues. You know, for flavor.

I was about to just turn around and speedwalk to my apartment (because fuck I really wanted a nap) when suddenly I notice something that was marginally concerning.

This guy (Red Hood) was bleeding.

And it was not one of those little trickles— this man had a bullet wound in his abdomen that looked like it was a mini rendition of the fucking Niagra Falls.

So obviously I’m concerned (or I hope I at least looked concerned— I was too tired to know what facial expression to actually make) and I asked him, like, “hey dude, you good?” And this idiot just looks at me, follows my gaze towards his abdomen (how did he not fucking notice) and just shrugged— fucking shrugged— and said, “ ‘Tis but a flesh wound”.

Whether or not I laughed is none of your business.

While I appreciate the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference (great movie by the way, 100/10), it was definitely not a flesh wound.

So I did what any sane, normal, totally not crazy human being would do and dragged this personification of a wall of muscle towards my apartment. (After calling the police to take the very much knocked out mugger laying on the ground, of course)

I don’t even know how the hell I managed to drag this guy into my apartment because, for 1, he could literally bench press me, and 2, he could snap me in half like a twig, and 3, I am about as muscular as a sea sponge. Meaning to say, I am not muscular or strong whatsoever.

I’m pretty sure Red Hood just let me drag him into his apartment because it looked like I would cry otherwise (and I would have).

Anyway, so that’s the story of how I got the Red Hood into my home, I guess—

It uh, took me about 5 seconds after sitting him down on the couch and grabbing my first aid kit before I realized that I’m a fucking idiot because I don’t have any medical training, and I obviously don’t know how to fucking remove a bullet.

Is this why my mother said that I should take Nursing instead? Well fuck.

I think Red Hood also realized that I am a fucking dumbass because he just stared at me staring at him and fucking laughed.

He laughed.

Fuck I wanna bury myself in a hole and die—

Thankfully though (and also concerningly) Red Hood knows how to remove bullets from himself (wtf dude) and I just helped him disinfect and bandage up his wound (with him instructing me, because again, I am a dumbass).

So that’s the story of how I ended up with the Red Hood on my sofa.

Fucking great. Wonderful. Apparently he decided to take the rest of the night off and just crashed there instead (I definitely did not bribe him to stay by giving him some of my snacks from home— nope, no sir-ie, I have no idea what you’re talking about).

I’m writing this from the comfort of my bedroom while he just sleeps on the sofa outside, in the living room.

Holy fuck I have the Red Hood in my house.

He ate the snacks I gave him and fell asleep while listening to Legally Blonde play on the TV.

What the ever loving fuck is happening in my life.

… I need to go to bed.

Good fucking night.

[sugirandom]

Anime Ocean City

So, yes my best bro and I went to Anime Ocean city for the first time last weekend. A convention that I had no idea is only 2 years old now.

The convention was only 2 days in comparison to the three day conventions we typically attend and since the badges were so affordable we did actually buy the VIP tickets (a luxury reserved for the rich at most cons I've been to). That allowed us to skip the normal line which was already wrapped around the hallway. We only had two people in front of us.

Anyway, overall it was a small convention. They only took up the 2nd floor of the convention center while the first floor had what I now know was some kind of wild-foul carving competition (carving and painting things like decoy ducks). There were only about 4 panels and they were all held in the auditorium. We went to the guest Q and As, the first one was with Catherine Sutherland and Steve Cardenas who were the third pink power ranger and second red ranger. It was interesting to hear about how they ended up auditioning and getting their parts, some stories about how things were on the set, etc. but for me personally I stopped watching Power Rangers halfway through season 2 so I only kinda knew Rocky (Red Ranger) and barely knew Cat so I didn't have many questions but Conner had seen season 3 as his last one so I think he was excited to see both of them.

The second Q+ A was with Wayne Grayson (known for characters like Michalangelo (TMNT...don't know which iteration) and Joey from Yuugioh among others) and Erica Shroeder (Luffy, the 2nd voice of Mai Valentine, Nurse Joy, various Pokemon etc.) It was interesting to hear their stories too overall.

I was kinda disappointed in the Dealer's room because they basically mixed the vendors and artist alley together and there was no clear distinction between the two. There also weren't any vendors selling DVDs or Blurays and no one selling English-language games with only a small amount of Japanese games. I don't mind having the option to get Japanese games of course but for our channel I'm always on the lookout for deals on games we could play on our channel (that and it infuriates me how hypocritical it is to overprice US Pokemon games but keep the Japanese ones affordable!)

There were plenty of places to buy manga but the recent rise in prices for manga has sadly turned me off of buying and tbh even reading manga. I love manga a lot but I feel like it might have to wait till I'm more fluent in Japanese and can comprehend Japanese volumes. Anyway, the local artists there were talented. It was good to see some love for athletic and curvy women from one of the artists there. There were plenty of Pokemon artists, I bought some Eeevlution pins to make up for the fact that all Pokemon plushies were overpriced and I just can't justify buying them because how dare you make me choose one!

Sunday was the day we shopped because there were no panels that day and the hours were short for both days so we honestly spent a lot of time out of the convention just enjoying ourselves nearby. We played some mini-golf at a place near our hotel and of course ate some delicious seafood on the shore.

That's about it, it was a modest convention but it was good overall. I do hope as they get more experience they'll get more events and improve some quality of life things like actually printing a schedule or having a printed out map, these are things that I guess I took for granted until going to a con that didn't have them. I'm happy OC has this now though since as far as I can tell they didn't have a dedicated Anime Convention in the area so I'm glad for that.

[nowis-scales]

(I keep telling myself, “Oh, I better not wait a month between Echoes playthrough posts again” and proceed to do just that)

The fact that Valbar’s like “oh, but there’s no use standing around crying about it” after this is just… wow. No, Valbar, it is incredibly valid to cry about it. Like good on you for knowing what you need and deciding maybe life like this might help you, but like… the occasional tears are okay, buddy. I promise I won’t judge.

I’m going to have to write an essay on the way this game confronts sexism, swapping between Watsonian and Doylist perspectives, because this is just continuously too interesting to me.

Probably a good time to mention that in my first year of university I took an East Asian History class, and while the classroom was fairly large, my professor would always ask my opinions on feminist issues in varying time periods in a few of the different countries… because I always wanted to know what was going on with the women when I wrote my essays.

I think this probably says something about Fernand, that he’s so smitten with someone like Berkut… like bro. Even Berkut’s fiancée isn’t really that into him anymore because he’s just that freakish about the war. Maybe a bit of a red flag?

I mean, then again, it’s Fernand. He himself is a bit of a red flag. Maybe they’re perfect for each other, who knows.

Oh ho in this game, apparently, yes

Even though the last guy is a generic soldier, this looks like the mean girl line-up from every teen movie ever. Seriously. There’s the leader, her loyal follower, and the forgettable third one.

My brain needs to stop subconsciously memeing everything Berkut does, cause this just played, “Scared of beans, space boy?!” in my head. I think I’ve just seen inklings of the fanbase memeing and/or dunking on Berkut where they can, and now I’m just having these moments where I forget that I’m meant to take him seriously.

Which I mean, I hear he’s a pretty good villain when you get far enough into the game, so I’m sure I won’t have trouble taking him seriously later… but so far he’s mostly just showing up and being mean to Alm, so for now I am giving myself license to bully him softly.

… I did not enjoy this part. Idk if it was me or the chapter, but there was some fucking Fates-level RNG happening here. Also probably because I didn’t strategize really, I kind of just put the strong people closest and then charged, but that is neither here nor there. I mean, it’s probably the reason why I did not have a great time with it but hey. I’m a casual. And part of that is just because while I can think well, I can’t say I always want to lol. This was one of those times.

[krill-screen256]

Elijah

Species: Ribbon Eel Age: 28 Height: 7'9" ( 236 cm ) Build: Lean/Twink Gender: Cis Male He/Him Sexuality: Gay Aromantic Occupation: Musician & DJ

Physical Description Elijah stands quite tall at seven and a half feet in height with the last foot varying on how long he stretches out his neck. Yet his height isn't imposing due to his lean hardly muscled build with slim arms and a long torso. Instead, he relies more on toothy sneers with his elongated narrow maw. He has bold colorful skin, with most of his body being indigo, the ends of his limbs black with green spots, nose and jaw a bright green, large leaf-life yellow nostrils, a pair of short thin yellow whiskers on his chin, large yellow eyes with black irises, and a large single fin with a green base and yellow edge, and finally a long thin ribbon-like tail that naturally rests in a wave shape. Elijah's long narrow mouth is filled with pointed thin teeth, a tongue with a yellow tip that has a mottled bright green pattern as it goes deeper, and yellow colored flesh on the inside. His gill holes are small holes on both sides of his upper neck. His fingers are long and end with short claws with no webbing while his feet are slightly wide, flat, fully webbed, and tipped with short claws. He has no external genitalia, no nipples, nor a belly button.

Piercings Eyebrows- 2x on left and right. Can be rings or barbells Tongue- 3x horizontal barbells in a ladder arrangement on top middle Bottom Lip- 2x snakebite style piercings on the first third of his jaw. Can be rings or barbells Fin- 3x polished opal studs on the back of his neck, 3x polished opal studs on the end of his tail

Clothing Style Hot weather- sleeveless basketball jerseys, game or band name shirts, athletic shorts, sandals Cold weather- large puffy jackets, long neck gaiter, tail gaiter, punk leather boots Casual- sleeveless shirts, game or band name shirts, slim fit jeans, sleeveless leather jacket with punk patches, sports sneakers, punk leather boots Colors- White, black, red, darker tones

Personality From first impressions, Elijah can come off cold and rude. Not exactly the friendliest of people or outgoing. He's the type of guy who minds his own business and doesn't care about yours. He opens up a lot more when his interests are involved, such as music, DJing, video games, and especially fighting games. He's keen to show off his knowledge about those subjects, sharing experiences, creating collabs, or playing matches each other. With people he knows, Elijah is far more friendly and is known to crack some witty jokes and comebacks and laugh too hard at stupid jokes and memes.

Relationships

Elijah has no interest in romantic relationships. Most of the company he keeps are friends, fellow music artists, and gaming friends.

Rico-  Best buddy, roommate, and friends with benefits. They became friends after Kiko's first live DJ performance and been bros ever since. Elijah sees him as an equal in creating music, enjoying bouncing of ideas and mixes off each other. They also play a lot of fighting games together, with Elijah being the more skilled of the two. Elijah often ugly laughs at Rico's dumb jokes. The two are often mistaken for boyfriends, making them both fake wretch as they deny any sort of romantic interest.

Lupe- Good friend. Met her when he met Rico after his first live DJ performance. Elijah isn't as close to Lupe but still appreciates her passion for music and her metal band. His favorite thing to do with Lupe is to join in on roasting Rico.

Hobbies

Smoking- Menthol cigarettes are his go to vice. May have a cigar for special occasions.

Weed- Leaf, flower, resin, edible- any form is good for him. He mostly smokes with Rico for a nice chillout session.

Fighting Games- Street Fighter 6, Tekken 8, and Guilty Gear Strive are his main focus at the moment. Elijah is at a competitive playing level and often joins local and online tournaments

Music- Both creating and listening. If he's not doing one, he's doing the other. It's his greatest passion in life

Likes

Smoking

DJing

"Seven Golden Letters"

Cold baths

Cheap fast food

Energy drinks

Labbing fighting games

Strong coffee

Bad Jokes

Dislikes

Eating healthy

Wi-Fi Warriors

Sweets

Pop music

Exercise

Gamer stank

Cold weather

E-Cigs

Know it all noobs

A-FX-SI-A ( "asphyxia" )

Spotify Playlist

Elijah's solo music label.

Style- Dark house, trance, prog, DJ mixes

Elijah often makes collabs with singers to make haunting vocals for his original tracks and cover mixes. Most of his work is presented on the DJ stage as full mixes. He prefers to make sets for albums rather than focusing on singles. When DJing, he enjoys working a double set with a partner to mix tracks off each other. Most of his DJ sets are solo and played during the middle of end of club's hours to bring a more chill vibe but paired with a dark heat to keep the blood pumping.

Drawing Elijah Key traits

Strictly gay character, do not ship him with women

Big leafy nostrils

Long narrow head with his eye close to the middle of his jaw, not placed further back

His fin is soft and is folded underneath his clothing

Long unwebbed fingers with claws

Keep him lean, he doesn't workout or lifts weights

Facial piercings can be any style or color as long as they're in the right location

He has no scales, his skin is smooth

Long flexible neck, he can easily turn his head to look behind him

[darklingichor]

Odd Hours, by Dean Koontz

I have new books to read, but I'm bored and my job is irritating enough to turn my teeth into fine sand. So, I am about to annoy myself on purpose, because at least then I can control my exposure and vent effectively.

A couple of years back, I attempted to read all nine of the Odd Thomas books again and only managed to make it through the first three before the narrative went all sidewalk preacher with a tin foil hat and a sign that says "The End is Over There!!!!!" (Please note the use if five explanation marks).

Now, I am going to take a side quest into the last six books. I will attempt to find the good in each, but I will likely end up ranting a fair amount. Gonna try and do a bitch fest one week and switch off to a book that doesn't make my brain itch the next.

Totally understand if those reading this are wondering what the heck is wrong with me, I often wonder that myself.

On with the show.

This one takes place shortly after the events of Brother Odd where our fry cook spent a few months at the Abbey of St. Bartholomew in the California mountains the last days of which he spent battling science and the spiritual where it met at a crossroads. His ghost companion Elvis crossed over and the spirit of Frank Sinatra joined him, along with a ghost dog named Boo.

When Odd picks up the narritive he is staying in Magic Beach, California with an eccentric and reclusive 80 year old former actor and current children's book author. He works as cook and general assistant it seems, and it is the perfect arrangement because the Hutch is so self involved as to basically see Odd as a floating head to talk at.

This sort of goes with how the author ends up using Odd as a monthpiece for his letters to the editor. To the point that he sort of forgets what the character looks like. We don't really get descriptions of Odd, but in the first book, it is a big deal that he and Stormy - the love of his life that passed away - have matching creasent moon birthmarks. In this book, he says he has no birthmarks

Um...

Bro, you wrote the books, it's not like you have no notes...

Anyway.

Odd keeps having a nightmare where the tide and the sky around the coastal town is blood red and in the center floating beautifically is a young pregnant woman he refers to as The Lady of the Bell, after the silver bell pendant she wears.

This young lady is actually a person he has seen around town, and in the first chapters he finds her and must protect her from the events of the dream.

The rest of the book has Odd trying to figure out just what the dream is trying to tell him and how to stop it.

Sounds like it would make sense, huh?

Yeah, not really.

I mean the order of events make sense and the story is even pretty entertaining.

I mean, using the spirit of Frank Sinatra as a weapon against corrupt cops by making him go poltergeist with comparison of Rod Stewart covers? Yeah that's cool. And the unwinding of the whole plot and how he figures it out is in keeping with the tone of the first three books. A sort of bumbling through with the help his various gifts the ability to talk his way into and back out of trouble. I particularly enjoy his ability to improvise in all situations and leave people baffled.

What doesn't make sense is the why. In the first book, we had play Satanists who wanted to be famous, in the second one we had a crazy lady who wanted Odd to show her dead people, in the third it was human pride clashing with faith that caused the problems.

Even with the more philosophical nature of the the last one, it was still clear *why* everything was happening.

This one is less clear. Corrupt people want money so they are in with some country who wants to set off nukes in the US. Why do they want to set off nukes? Why are multiple people in this town in on it? Dunno. They're just evil. Except for the minister who just decided to kill people because people get killed. Which seems pretty evil at the core.

It also sort of feels like the author is getting bored with Odd. So, makes things a little nonsensical. So as to make it seem like there is more happening

In the other books, even very minor characters felt like they had some life while at the same time it didn't feel like by following Odd you were missing out on a good story.

Not so with this one.

When Odd catches a ride with an older lady, we learn about her premonitions that cause her to drive around until she ends up where people need her. Those little stories were so much more interesting to me, by this point in the book, than the plot about the nukes. We never see this lady again after Odd leaves her and I wanted to know more.

Then there's the character of Blossom Rosedale, she has a tragic backstory, but is so cheerful and is full of stories about her eccentric family. I wanted to hear more about the aunt who thinks people from the future are stealing cake from her kitchen. And the grandmother who lived with gorillas. That one scene was more entertaining than the first half of the book.

I would also argue that Koontz was getting bored because of the elements that just seem completely out of left field. He makes them fit later, but it takes two to three books to get there.

Annamaria. She's around 18, pregnant, and enematic. Why is she in the story? She actually does very little She's on the boardwalk when Odd first encounters some of the bad guys, and he hustles her off out of harms way. He then finds her apartment, she drops enough hints that everyone except Odd could probably figure out who she is supposed to be, he pleges that he will die to protect her, then the bad guys come to her place and they run away. Odd parks her at the house of a friend he made a few weeks before, and there she stays until everything is resolved.

*Spoilers*

Annamaria, has no last name, never went to school, she says she is fully human, yet does many mystical type things, not the least of which is that even though she is around 8 months pregnant when Odd meets her, and they travel together for many months, she never gives birth.

I thought despite the clues in this book she might be a manifestation of an aunt that is mentioned in the first book. It is implied that his mother's sister had similar abilities to Odd and may have ended up in an insane asylum. I thought that maybe it would turn out that this aunt was actually Odd's mother and couldn't keep him so he was given to her sister who is absolutely batshit, but able to act the part of someone who wouldn't point a gun at a sick child.

That makes too much narrative sense, clearly.

It's never plainly stated in this book, but clues are given in this and the rest of the series until the last one where it is everything but just said. Annamaria is St. Anne, the Virgin Mary's mother. So, how is an entirely human woman who lived, gave birth, and died more than two 2000 years ago in the Middle East helping a fry cook on the California coast in the early 2000s? Good question. Another question, *why* is she helping a fry cook on the California coast in the early 2000s?

Its finally spelled out in Saint Odd, and I found it somewhat disappointing.

Needless to say the fact that this character is in the rest of the books and persists in talking in circles and mostly does nothing is annoying to me.

The fog. There's a lot of fog in this book. It is mentioned more than it would be seen in a B grade vampire flick. It's like a character it leads Odd places, it makes everything weird. Odd seems to think it means something. Do we find out what? Nooo...

For something that is brought up ad nauseum when it isn't explained it just reads like Odd just doesn't understand weather.

He does say that he doesn't watch the news because of all the outlandish reporting. This apparently includes the 5 day Forcast and the radical pressure systems.

Then there's the coyotes. When Annamaria and Odd are running away, they are met by a pack of coyotes. Annamaria tells them in calm, and commanding language that read almost like an invocation, to go away. She then tells Odd that they are not only what they seem. Later Odd encounters them again and uses the same tone and language along with Annamaria 's bell pendant to get them to go away.

*spoilers *

When I first read this, I thought they were a reference to the Moonlight Bay books and the super intelligent animals that came out of the military base. However, it was focused on so intensely - twice - and has absolutely nothing to do with this story, not really, and it just kind of there.

I was also thinking it might somehow tie into things because of a scene with coyotes in the first book when Odd helps the spirit of a young woman after her appearance saves him from a pack of coyotes. And it is kinda tied back into it much later, and we'll get to it. In this book, the coyotes just feel like an interruption. And with the action being so sluggish, it's not a welcome one. This, coupled with the rants about society and how shallow people are makes it annoying at times. Though I will say that there is less of that in this one than I remember in the upcoming books.

[taiblogcomics]

Cry Havoc! And Let Slapstick the Dogs of War

Hey there, jetpack technology. We're half done this Slapstick miniseries by now! We'll be two-thirds done by the end of this one! Isn't the number six grand? Well, let's get into it~

Here's the cover:

Oh boy, this cover. One, Slapstick himself is barely integrated into it. He feels like an afterthought. If this were a larger multimedia franchise, I'd think that was his stock art down there. No, instead, we're selling this cover based on the other thing on it. That's right, furries, we're targeting you! Let's talk about that for a minute! So, obviously, the first thing the War DOGS here are parodying is GI Joe (the ninja design really sells that). That fits with the other '80s references the series has been making: Bro-Man was He-Man, the Taurs were Smurfs with a light coat of MLP. But the second thing~?

Hey, show of hands, who remembers Road Rovers~? Because I remember Road Rovers. I was super into Road Rovers as a kid. Only lasted 13 episodes, believe it or not. It was very much in the vein of the other WB shows of its era: Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Freakazoid. Except it was an entirely action-focused cartoon with the same level of comedy, which is probably why it didn't last too long. Now, you could also argue it's a SWAT Kats reference, but A) the War DOGS are dogs, not cats, and 2) both are from the '90s, so it's odd either way~

Anyways, I could ramble about Road Rovers for the rest of this review, but Steve Harmon, AKA Slapstick, in an effort to cure his clowny cartoon condition, is conscripted by ARMOR to fight off other cartoons that invade our dimension. To that end, last issue he fought off the aforementioned Taurs, rescuing their lone female member, Taurette, in the process. Taking leave, Slapstick spends his time rebuilding the very portal that got him in trouble with ARMOR to begin with. And it's still getting him in trouble, as it starts shooting out beams that turn inanimate objects into very animated cartoons~

Steve's mom is upstairs remarking to her husband how she's glad Mike is visiting, she likes how he's a stabilising, grounding influence on Steve. Mike has a job, Mike has his own place, Mike isn't chasing some silly dream of being a superhero or mercenary or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Nothing strange happens when Mike's around. Of course, it's at this moment that the cartoon cup of coffee charges out from Steve's basement bedroom declaring he's "off the hizzy for shizzy". Perfectly normal events in the Harmon household~

Mrs. Harmon goes down to give her son a talking-to, during which the broom she's holding also catches one of the stray cartoonifying energy bolts and starts making lewd remarks about how she grips it. Slapstick snatches it away while his mom storms off, complaining "Richard, do you know what your son just did? He turned the broom perverted!" I feel like this issue alone, let alone this whole miniseries, could give me a top ten list of amazing out-of-context dialogue lines from comic books. We're only on page two!

Slapstick retreats back into his room, asking for a minute to think of something. Mike retorts that him thinking is what started this mess. While Slapstick's dirty laundry comes to life and begins a revolt, Mike reaches his breaking point and tries to slam the big red button on the portal device. Except… Slapstick didn't build the thing with an off switch. It only has an on switch, because he didn't want anyone turning it off while he was using it. I think that's more of the kind of thinking that got him in this mess, yeah.

He next tries to go for the plug, but the machine defends itself with another piece of equipment coming to life to protect it. Likewise, the fusebox comes to life before Slapstick can blow the power grid. This is getting out of hand--and out of room, as the cartoonification begins spreading to other appliances in the house. Such as the dishwasher turning on Mrs. Harmon. Now Slapstick's mad. It's one thing to go after him, but when you go after his family, it's too far. See, in spite of his attitude and lack of forethought and disregard of the law, he's still a decent guy under that clown costume.

While Slapstick holds back the other appliances, Mike also leaps into action. To fight a cartoon, you gotta think like a cartoon, right? So he manages to fight his way over to that on switch again, but this time he writes "OFF" over the "ON" and hits the button. And this works. That's absolutely fantastic, well done. However, it's only prevented further catastrophe, as it's shut down the portal but not reversed the transformations. ARMOR might have to come by and sort all that out. Which Slapstick is not looking forward to, in spite of his crush on that one agent.

Before they can further react, however, even more nonsense hits the fan. The War DOGS' tank materialises in Slapstick's room, and if he has a basement room big enough to hold a tank, maybe I'd be reluctant to move out too. Also, their appearance is accompanied by theme music, to Mike and Slapstick's bafflement. The War DOGS (which stands for War Defense Operations Guerrilla Squadron) start blasting, and their blue lasers have the effect of de-toonifying all the rambunctious furniture. Slapstick is unaffected, since he's been a toon too long.

With the active threat now neutralised, the War DOGS sound off. There's too many of them to go into detail (a full 12 characters with distinct designs, army roles, and dog breeds), but Rex is the leader of the bunch. And the only girl is named Crimson, because the GI Joe equivalent was Scarlett. And the ninja is named Silent-But-Deadly, in case you forgot what kind of comic this is. Rex reports that they were told by an informant that the Princess' champion may be here--and the devious enemy team Skratch may be after him. They can't let that happen.

So the War DOGS, Mike, and Slapstick all file out of the house, headed for the streets to do recon. Before Silent-But-Deadly can get in position, though, the dastardly felines of Skratch attack! They demand the surrender of the champion. And yes, they are indeed just a cat-themed version of Kobra. (That's the other reason why the War DOGS can't be SWAT Kats.) A brawl ensues, and in the midst of the fight, Mike gets hit by laserfire. Slapstick is pissed. He's tired of this "champion" nonsense, since every time it comes up, his friends and family around him just get hurt.

Slapstick takes off running, hoping to lead the fight to an empty field or something, so no random innocents will get hurt. But after a bit, he notices that, just like his Twitter account, nobody is following him. Looking back, he sees Skratch loading a captive Mike into a portal and disappearing. He begins shouting that they've got the wrong guy. Rex replies that of course that human is the champion. That's why they have to come to this dimension to find the champion in the first place. How could Slapstick be the champion? He's a toon like them!

ARMOR (including Agents Teresa, Isabel, and Taurette) shows up to corraborate Rex's story. Think about it: Mike and Slapstick were both at the football game when Bro-Man attacked. And the Taurs attacked the mall where Mike works, not the ARMOR facility where Slapstick was being held. Anyway, ARMOR is here to arrest the War DOGS for the dimension breech, but they explain they just used Slapstick's portal, getting him in trouble. But that's not important now. He'll deal with consequences later. All that's important is getting his friend back. So he ends the issue by leading a team-up of himself, ARMOR, and the War DOGS through the portal to Dimension Ecch…

I think, like last time, this issue a lot of fun. It's zany, it's silly, it's tiny, it's toony, it's all a little loony~ The solution to the over-powered portal is beautiful in its cartoon logic. And the parodies continue to remain on point, if a little one-sided leaning. Like, the Taurs were very Smurfs-coded (the names being "X Taur", the Smurfette type, the wizard antagonist, the hats) with just a bit of a My Little Pony coat of paint in their design. The War DOGS are the same way: very GI Joe parody with just a dash of Road Rovers slapped on top. Even Bro-Man is basically just He-Man with only a little Conan the Barbarian in appearance. So it's not really a parody fusion, it's a parody of one property with another property painted over it. I know they don't have time to run into the whole backstory of all these shows they're riffing on, just saying it's an odd amalgamation of things. I guess adding the second parody just makes it wackier or something. It's not bad in any way, just a thing I noticed about the choices.

Anyway, next issue, we're finally going to see the much-discussed Dimension Ecch and meet its oft-rumoured princess~

[smokeybrandcompositions]

John Wayne

Year in and year out, Conservatives use the fear of brown people to propel themselves into office. It’s always the same story; “They’re not sending their best”, “They’re taking our jobs”, “they’re crippling the welfare system”, and whatever else. I tune that sh*t out because I’m not an idiot. It’s an election year so the Right has been particularly aggressive with their brown people prejudice. They’re touting a “crisis” at the border, that five thousand people a day are illegally coming over and that’s just not true. It’s wildly inaccurate. In fact, I learned today that this sh*t comes in waves. I listened to a Texan tell me, one that lives in the State and sees this sh*t pretty regularly, that immigration rises during the holidays because, you guessed it, they cross to see family. Like anyone else during the holidays, these people come over, stay for a week, and then leave. The drop these cats are seeing in the January numbers are because the holidays are over, not because of Greg Abbott’s harsh stance on border security It’s just the natural flow of family exchange for Christmas. You catch a plane to see your aunt in Chicago, they swim across the Rio Grande to so the same. And just like you catch a return flight home, they wade across to the Mexico bank when they tire of all that extended family time. He also mentioned that there would be a spike in the spring. Why? Construction season. These people come over, get picked up as day laborers, then go home. They are temporary illegals. Listening to this man speak, and knowing what my friends abroad think of the US, it immediately dawned on me that most of these “illegals”, probably don’t even want to stay. They come over, work the fields, build a few houses, stay with family for a bit, then go back home. It’s no different than an Asian family sending money back to the home country or an exchange student sending back gifts. The way the Right wing media tells it, those five thousand a day, stay and mooch off our system. That they are parasites on the teat of Big Government. I would posited a guess that at least two-thirds of that five thousand, go back home after a month  or two to however long their particular labor seasons lasts. No one abroad wants to actually LIVE in the US. It’s f*cking horrible here, especially if you have an semblance of melanin in your skin.

I’m a huge black dude who is native to the US. I’ve lived here all my life and have seen, firsthand, how f*cking stupid it is here. I’ve watched as out “education” system gets dumber and more propagandized, as time has gone on. Hell, since I graduated high school twenty years ago, sh*t has gotten worse. Common Core Math is the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever seen in my life and the fact here is this ridiculous belief that Critical Race Theory is being taught to grade school kids, is insane. Bro, my niece’s history book refers to the Transatlantic Slave Trade as a f*cking cultural exchange. Do you have any idea how absurd that is? Red States across the nation are declining to teach anything about the Civil Rights Movement, outside of the whitewashed and sanitized version of MLK, because of white tears. More than that, our “education” system is constructed to actually educate. It’s not built to help teach you how to think critically or properly comprehend information. It’s there to make sure you are indoctrinated into the School-Work-Prison system we have here. There’s a reason you go to school for eight hours a day, have an hour of yard time, need to ask permission to use the rest room, and stay sequestered in social blocks most of the day. What’s the difference between desk, a cubicle, an a cell? They don’t teach you anything meaningful like taxes, self-defense, basic auto repair, or computer literacy. They did all of that when I was young, but not anymore. The first budgets to get slashed, every year, are Social Security and Education. Why? Because you don’t need to be intelligent to be a cog in the machine for the entirety of your life. They just move you from one institution to another, until you f*cking die. Our education system is designed to kill any semblance of free thinking and to encourage conformity. You are to take direction, never question it. It’s no wonder these people on the Right, who covet a Strong Man and value Cults of Personality over actual leaders, take to such egregious half-truths.

Admittedly, it never dawned on me to ask if all these illegals actually stayed and I tend to question everything. I just didn’t see it as that big of a problem because, in my experience, most illegals are hardworking, considerate, and go out of their way to avoid the system lest they be targeted. I’m from California. I know a bit about this immigration “crisis.” I live it, too, but, unlike Texas, I don’t care like that. I’m not laboring in that Cali heat during the summer. I did that when I was young. Use to work for a lawn care service in my youth. If someone else wants to do it, they can have it. That’s the funniest thing about all of this, the “illegals” WANT to do that sh*t while the “legals”, don’t. Florida is experiencing firsthand what happens when you turn hostile toward the people who do those quiet, unsung, jobs. Construction has come to a halt. Crops are rotting on the vine. Sure, DeSantis got his wish and bused out all the “illegals” or whatever, but not their State has reached an impasse. Oranges are literally rotting on the vine because all those white people who had a problem with the browns during harvest season, refuse to get out there an pick fruit. Hell, most are even willing to pay taxes out of there slave wages. They don’t mind contributing to a country which gave them more financial opportunity than the one they left. You have a temporary workforce who are willing to d this back-breaking job you outright refuse to do, in horrific seasonal conditions, and, instead of giving them an opportunity to do so in an acceptable, legal fashion, persecute them because they hopped a border? That doesn’t make any sense, especially when you take into account that the government, a bipartisan coalition, set up legislation to do just that. There was a plan on the books, a whole budget ready to be implemented to “secure our border”, and the Right sabotaged it because their Orange Hitler told them to. Because this immigration bogey man is all they have to run on. I don’t think Trump is getting re-elected, he’s alienated too many independents and women, but it’s nuts to see so many Republicans bend the knee, know it’s only in his best interests, not the country. That legislation on the border was the strongest sh*t put forth in decades and the Republicans, after negotiating so many concessions from the Democrats, effectively killed it. Boggles the goddamn mind, man. And that brings me to my whole point: Stupid people are being tricked by this blatant propaganda.

A guy I know was radicalized when he moved to Idaho, one of the Reddest, Whitest, most Religious States in the union. They are known as the potato capital in the Union so, guess what the second highest demographic there is? Before, this dude was absolutely in love with a Mexican woman. She was his unicorn. After that move, and after his second wife cheated on him (just like his first), he became this Far Right, conspiracy believing, Fox News watching, Arm Chair Patriot who believes in his Country, His military, and his God. Dude is also a prime example of the cog pour education system kicks out. He was a C/D student, which speaks to his lack of comprehension but ability to make orders, who graduated High School by the seat of his pants and opted to join the military, another institution where you are literally conditioned to take order. He told me that he loved the military life specifically FOR that. He didn’t like to think and found it easier to take orders. This is a man who had to ask his father for advice at every major life choice, a person who had to have his mother or wife, but up his steak because he refused to eat any food off the bone. Dude refused to cash his Pandemic check because he didn’t need no handouts, or whatever, even though that check was basically the government giving him back his own money. Just stupid sh*t born of immaturity and a complete lack of comprehension, just how our education system raised him up to be. This dude doesn’t have the ability to think for himself, he can’t dive deep into a subject because he was never taught patience or given the tools to actually research properly. He blindly believes whatever strong, male, energy is currently in his immediate space and defers, like a puppy, to it. His masculinity is tied to someone else’s and it’s jarring to see. He fetishizes black bodies, basketball is his favorite sport, but he doesn’t value black lives. We had a NBA Bubble long exchange about the civil unrest after George Floyd’s death and he took the cliche, milquetoast, Conservative stance of, “I believe they are right to be angry but riots are bad and don’t work because they alienate people from your message.” Nah, they alienate white people from the message because seeing a bunch of black people out in force, terrifies them. Riots work. It’s why there are Gay Rights. It’s literally how this country started. Basically this dude I know, is the exact face of the modern Republican proletariat and that goes a LONG way to explain why some asshole like Trump can strangle the entire GOP to near death, in service to his own ego.

The bulk of the Republican voter base are like the dude I know. They’re idiots. It’s not their fault, they were trained to be that way. Sh*t started early, in the pulpits of church, carried over through school, perpetuated once they entered the work force or military, and solidified once they entered middle age. These people are sheep, bred to prop up the elites. They just accept whatever Fox News or Donald Trump spoon feeds them, because they’ve been doing that their entire lives. They want the Strong Man. They need the orders. They can’t function without them. Plus, all these brown people are coming over here and breeding out their pure, white, blood. Poisoning the gene pool and sh*t. They can roll my burritos, but I’ll be damned if they roll in the hay with my daughter. Even though it takes two to tango. That doesn’t matter because Fentanyl is flooding over the border, never mind that the opioid crisis was engineered by Big Pharma and the over prescription of Xanax. The “Crisis” at he border is something only Trump can solve, even though Biden had his pen ready to sing that bi-partisan plan which the Right killed. They even released it to the public so they could see for themselves where that loot was going but that didn’t matter. The Sheeple didn’t believe anything the Swamp was trying to slide by them, because their kowtowing leaders, those weak ass Strong Men they crave, told them not to. These people don’t have the capacity to think for themselves and the ones who do, use that ability to grift. People like Ben Shapiro aren’t stupid. They know what they say is incendiary and ridiculous but he gets paid to say that dumb sh*t, because it resonates with dumb people. Tucker Carlson is a bigot who gave Putin time on his show, and exposure to his gullible ass audience, so that the Strongest Man would push his absurd, revisionist, history directly to the most susceptible idiots in the idiot bunch. And they ate that sh*t up. Carlson is joke and has done irreparable damage to this country with that stunt but only people who understand consequence, individuals who fight for the right to think for themselves, understand that. It’s the same reason these people are so easily spooked by the phantom brown boogeyman every election year. They don’t want to read the legislation and are too idiotic to complacent to ask why? They feel safe in the arms of the Strong Man, even as said Man slowly closes his grip, choking them to death with that strength they long for.

[smokeybrand]

John Wayne

Year in and year out, Conservatives use the fear of brown people to propel themselves into office. It’s always the same story; “They’re not sending their best”, “They’re taking our jobs”, “they’re crippling the welfare system”, and whatever else. I tune that sh*t out because I’m not an idiot. It’s an election year so the Right has been particularly aggressive with their brown people prejudice. They’re touting a “crisis” at the border, that five thousand people a day are illegally coming over and that’s just not true. It’s wildly inaccurate. In fact, I learned today that this sh*t comes in waves. I listened to a Texan tell me, one that lives in the State and sees this sh*t pretty regularly, that immigration rises during the holidays because, you guessed it, they cross to see family. Like anyone else during the holidays, these people come over, stay for a week, and then leave. The drop these cats are seeing in the January numbers are because the holidays are over, not because of Greg Abbott’s harsh stance on border security It’s just the natural flow of family exchange for Christmas. You catch a plane to see your aunt in Chicago, they swim across the Rio Grande to so the same. And just like you catch a return flight home, they wade across to the Mexico bank when they tire of all that extended family time. He also mentioned that there would be a spike in the spring. Why? Construction season. These people come over, get picked up as day laborers, then go home. They are temporary illegals. Listening to this man speak, and knowing what my friends abroad think of the US, it immediately dawned on me that most of these “illegals”, probably don’t even want to stay. They come over, work the fields, build a few houses, stay with family for a bit, then go back home. It’s no different than an Asian family sending money back to the home country or an exchange student sending back gifts. The way the Right wing media tells it, those five thousand a day, stay and mooch off our system. That they are parasites on the teat of Big Government. I would posited a guess that at least two-thirds of that five thousand, go back home after a month  or two to however long their particular labor seasons lasts. No one abroad wants to actually LIVE in the US. It’s f*cking horrible here, especially if you have an semblance of melanin in your skin.

I’m a huge black dude who is native to the US. I’ve lived here all my life and have seen, firsthand, how f*cking stupid it is here. I’ve watched as out “education” system gets dumber and more propagandized, as time has gone on. Hell, since I graduated high school twenty years ago, sh*t has gotten worse. Common Core Math is the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever seen in my life and the fact here is this ridiculous belief that Critical Race Theory is being taught to grade school kids, is insane. Bro, my niece’s history book refers to the Transatlantic Slave Trade as a f*cking cultural exchange. Do you have any idea how absurd that is? Red States across the nation are declining to teach anything about the Civil Rights Movement, outside of the whitewashed and sanitized version of MLK, because of white tears. More than that, our “education” system is constructed to actually educate. It’s not built to help teach you how to think critically or properly comprehend information. It’s there to make sure you are indoctrinated into the School-Work-Prison system we have here. There’s a reason you go to school for eight hours a day, have an hour of yard time, need to ask permission to use the rest room, and stay sequestered in social blocks most of the day. What’s the difference between desk, a cubicle, an a cell? They don’t teach you anything meaningful like taxes, self-defense, basic auto repair, or computer literacy. They did all of that when I was young, but not anymore. The first budgets to get slashed, every year, are Social Security and Education. Why? Because you don’t need to be intelligent to be a cog in the machine for the entirety of your life. They just move you from one institution to another, until you f*cking die. Our education system is designed to kill any semblance of free thinking and to encourage conformity. You are to take direction, never question it. It’s no wonder these people on the Right, who covet a Strong Man and value Cults of Personality over actual leaders, take to such egregious half-truths.

Admittedly, it never dawned on me to ask if all these illegals actually stayed and I tend to question everything. I just didn’t see it as that big of a problem because, in my experience, most illegals are hardworking, considerate, and go out of their way to avoid the system lest they be targeted. I’m from California. I know a bit about this immigration “crisis.” I live it, too, but, unlike Texas, I don’t care like that. I’m not laboring in that Cali heat during the summer. I did that when I was young. Use to work for a lawn care service in my youth. If someone else wants to do it, they can have it. That’s the funniest thing about all of this, the “illegals” WANT to do that sh*t while the “legals”, don’t. Florida is experiencing firsthand what happens when you turn hostile toward the people who do those quiet, unsung, jobs. Construction has come to a halt. Crops are rotting on the vine. Sure, DeSantis got his wish and bused out all the “illegals” or whatever, but not their State has reached an impasse. Oranges are literally rotting on the vine because all those white people who had a problem with the browns during harvest season, refuse to get out there an pick fruit. Hell, most are even willing to pay taxes out of there slave wages. They don’t mind contributing to a country which gave them more financial opportunity than the one they left. You have a temporary workforce who are willing to d this back-breaking job you outright refuse to do, in horrific seasonal conditions, and, instead of giving them an opportunity to do so in an acceptable, legal fashion, persecute them because they hopped a border? That doesn’t make any sense, especially when you take into account that the government, a bipartisan coalition, set up legislation to do just that. There was a plan on the books, a whole budget ready to be implemented to “secure our border”, and the Right sabotaged it because their Orange Hitler told them to. Because this immigration bogey man is all they have to run on. I don’t think Trump is getting re-elected, he’s alienated too many independents and women, but it’s nuts to see so many Republicans bend the knee, know it’s only in his best interests, not the country. That legislation on the border was the strongest sh*t put forth in decades and the Republicans, after negotiating so many concessions from the Democrats, effectively killed it. Boggles the goddamn mind, man. And that brings me to my whole point: Stupid people are being tricked by this blatant propaganda.

A guy I know was radicalized when he moved to Idaho, one of the Reddest, Whitest, most Religious States in the union. They are known as the potato capital in the Union so, guess what the second highest demographic there is? Before, this dude was absolutely in love with a Mexican woman. She was his unicorn. After that move, and after his second wife cheated on him (just like his first), he became this Far Right, conspiracy believing, Fox News watching, Arm Chair Patriot who believes in his Country, His military, and his God. Dude is also a prime example of the cog pour education system kicks out. He was a C/D student, which speaks to his lack of comprehension but ability to make orders, who graduated High School by the seat of his pants and opted to join the military, another institution where you are literally conditioned to take order. He told me that he loved the military life specifically FOR that. He didn’t like to think and found it easier to take orders. This is a man who had to ask his father for advice at every major life choice, a person who had to have his mother or wife, but up his steak because he refused to eat any food off the bone. Dude refused to cash his Pandemic check because he didn’t need no handouts, or whatever, even though that check was basically the government giving him back his own money. Just stupid sh*t born of immaturity and a complete lack of comprehension, just how our education system raised him up to be. This dude doesn’t have the ability to think for himself, he can’t dive deep into a subject because he was never taught patience or given the tools to actually research properly. He blindly believes whatever strong, male, energy is currently in his immediate space and defers, like a puppy, to it. His masculinity is tied to someone else’s and it’s jarring to see. He fetishizes black bodies, basketball is his favorite sport, but he doesn’t value black lives. We had a NBA Bubble long exchange about the civil unrest after George Floyd’s death and he took the cliche, milquetoast, Conservative stance of, “I believe they are right to be angry but riots are bad and don’t work because they alienate people from your message.” Nah, they alienate white people from the message because seeing a bunch of black people out in force, terrifies them. Riots work. It’s why there are Gay Rights. It’s literally how this country started. Basically this dude I know, is the exact face of the modern Republican proletariat and that goes a LONG way to explain why some asshole like Trump can strangle the entire GOP to near death, in service to his own ego.

The bulk of the Republican voter base are like the dude I know. They’re idiots. It’s not their fault, they were trained to be that way. Sh*t started early, in the pulpits of church, carried over through school, perpetuated once they entered the work force or military, and solidified once they entered middle age. These people are sheep, bred to prop up the elites. They just accept whatever Fox News or Donald Trump spoon feeds them, because they’ve been doing that their entire lives. They want the Strong Man. They need the orders. They can’t function without them. Plus, all these brown people are coming over here and breeding out their pure, white, blood. Poisoning the gene pool and sh*t. They can roll my burritos, but I’ll be damned if they roll in the hay with my daughter. Even though it takes two to tango. That doesn’t matter because Fentanyl is flooding over the border, never mind that the opioid crisis was engineered by Big Pharma and the over prescription of Xanax. The “Crisis” at he border is something only Trump can solve, even though Biden had his pen ready to sing that bi-partisan plan which the Right killed. They even released it to the public so they could see for themselves where that loot was going but that didn’t matter. The Sheeple didn’t believe anything the Swamp was trying to slide by them, because their kowtowing leaders, those weak ass Strong Men they crave, told them not to. These people don’t have the capacity to think for themselves and the ones who do, use that ability to grift. People like Ben Shapiro aren’t stupid. They know what they say is incendiary and ridiculous but he gets paid to say that dumb sh*t, because it resonates with dumb people. Tucker Carlson is a bigot who gave Putin time on his show, and exposure to his gullible ass audience, so that the Strongest Man would push his absurd, revisionist, history directly to the most susceptible idiots in the idiot bunch. And they ate that sh*t up. Carlson is joke and has done irreparable damage to this country with that stunt but only people who understand consequence, individuals who fight for the right to think for themselves, understand that. It’s the same reason these people are so easily spooked by the phantom brown boogeyman every election year. They don’t want to read the legislation and are too idiotic to complacent to ask why? They feel safe in the arms of the Strong Man, even as said Man slowly closes his grip, choking them to death with that strength they long for.

[bomberqueen17]

i SCREENSHOTTED that line because I only noticed it on my third readthrough and was like IS THAT OMG

I love Ratthi

(Also I love that Tarik has caught on to Murderbot's Deal enough that he shows up with his unneccessary environmental mask also on for solidarity. Maybe it was just pragmatic but I love thinking that he was like okay in this household clearly we humor the secunit.)

also on my last series readthrough i focused on all the incidents where Murderbot and Ratthi are bros to each other. they're just so fucking nice to each other. behind the cut is a random dump of my screenshots, undescribed, lol. Spoilers behind the cut I'm sure.

first, the ass-checking-out incident (System Collapse)

second, Network Effect, Murderbot actually calls Ratthi a friend in the narration; Ratthi is the one in All Systems Red that tried to corner it to talk about its feelings but crucially never did it again once he realized it was distressed, and now defends Murderbot against that kind of attention in general.

Which has won Murderbot's loyalty to the point that here, in System Collapse, it is actually contemplating getting involved in Ratthi's romantic troubles.

and this bit from system collapse, i really loved, because it shows that Murderbot cares enough about Ratthi's emotional state to give him an outlet for nervous chatter it knows he's going to find comforting and which, in return, I think it's shown below it also finds comforting in a way.

(murderbot's drones are all down, but it still has audio from comms, and as it's fighting for its life it's listening to Ratthi swear about it)

Finally reading System Collapse! And may I just say, it is so incredibly on brand for Murderbot to be wearing an unnecessary environmental suit mask because it "just felt nice, okay". Aw, bud.