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thisisevenharderthannamingablog · 1 year ago

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Liveblogging notes from ep. 5.

Regretting a few of our life choices this morning, are we Kinn? Good. (I'm enjoying him as a character, but dude, just because somebody is all but saying take me I'm yours doesn't mean you gotta.)

Porsche is not okay. :(

Kinn you really fucked up.

Kim wtf are you doing? Ah, digging for info, not getting much so Kim out. And Korn is under no illusion that his youngest was doing anything else. You did a great job on your kids.

The camera work on this show is an actual joy.

Porsche is giving him the cold shoulder and he's in trouble with dad, who knows everything. Short game. Kinn sucks at chess? He's not paying attention? He wants to get this over with? Oh wow he looks upset. Practically nothing has visibly fazed him up until now. I note that the game doesn't stop just because he loses in two minutes flat, either; it just resets.

So far this episode is hella somber, even given the Khun/Kim interaction. Change from the rather manic air we've had previously. Porsche is having the worst day, somebody rescue this guy, wtf? And right on cue is Pete, adorable and concerned and so, so oblivious about the real problem.

Kinn is back to day drinking and Porsche won't look at him and everyone is miserable (except Khun who has a whole new hobby -- at least it gets him out of the house) and they both try banging random people and can't stop thinking about each other.

I have to pause here and try to unpack some of this.

Porsche is going through it on so many levels. He's a fighter and has already been in one gunfight; getting hurt like that didn't affect him, but getting drugged and assaulted while virtually helpless is not something he's prepared for. He evidently doesn't remember that part of the night well enough to identify Vegas, but he might remember being scared. Likewise, that he might be personally targeted on the basis of who he works for clearly never occurred to him. (A little ironic given how many other characters are trying to figure him out.)

There's also the fact that he had sex with his boss, who is giving him almost no clue that it meant anything at all, leaving Porsche to wonder if this is some distressing requirement for working here that he didn't know about. The one thing the Mafia does not appear to have is an HR department. They'd started to interact kind of like normal people the other day, and now everything is weird and dangerous again. Is this like the Macau situation, where he's being shielded from something even worse? Or is this genuinely awful behavior on Kinn's part? How the hell would he know?

Then there's the sex itself, which between the whole question of his sexual identity, the uneven power dynamic, and Porsche's altered state of mind at the time, is complicated to say the least.

He's vulnerable, and he's isolated. His usual friends either aren't there or don't notice how much misery he's radiating. He's generally biased toward action as a character, but there is no action he can take, nothing he can do about any of this. It isn't much surprise that he's basically gone into shutdown.

Kinn is a bit more difficult since we still know less about him, but there's some parallels. There's a physical vulnerability component, very different from what Porsche is going through but no less complicated: it isn't just Kinn in danger. We got this much from the chess scene. The last time Kinn got involved with anyone, it ended in a disaster which did not affect just him. We are back, with some subtlety, to choice; it's not just a matter of which price does he want to pay, but who else is going to pay it. Porsche got targeted because Kinn likes him.

Then there's the emotional side of things. Kinn has been reminded that historically he is maybe not the best judge of who can be trusted, and the stakes are high. Sex is not allowed to have emotions tangled up with it. In fact, nothing is allowed to have emotions tangled up with it -- but we saw when he was talking to Korn how that runs against his instincts. He would like to prioritize Porsche right now, but a) doesn't appear to have the emotional toolkit and b) lacks confidence in his own judgement here, so he caves to his dad.

Kinn also has no one to turn to, unless you count his father, whose advice is clear but for some strange reason doesn't make anyone less unhappy. He has a lot more freedom to act than Porsche; there are lots of things he can do, it's just that all of them are making things worse, and so he's snappish and indecisive and defensive.

In case things aren't awful enough, look who rolls up while Khun and the gang are all leaving Yok's but the human red flag himself to take advantage of Porsche's state. Don't leave anybody alone with Vegas should be like, a standing order for these guys.

Oh wow, Kinn is drunk. Vegas is feeling like a winner.

Kinn, this is the opposite of a good way of dealing with any of this oh my god you actual disaster! Good, Porsche, call that bluff.

So. Much. Tension.

Bad decision again buddy! You are on one hell of a streak now. Ken is the one I can't pick out of the crowd ever. Give that man an accessory please, they all dress alike.

Thank god we are cutting to Chay, that was an exhausting half hour and unusually long tight focus for these episodes. Chay has just gotten off a better flirty line than every single one of the older characters together, well done.

Kim is still hunting for intel on Porsche. (New theory: Korn actually brought him in so the family would have something to do, like giving puzzles to your herding dogs so they don't rip up the furniture.) Kim's weakness is music I see, just has to play along. Given the established distance between Kim and his siblings, the contrast here is sad.

Korn has not caused enough trouble? Having your boss's boss ask how you're doing is awkward even at a normal job. Everyone makes mistakes literally none of this is Porsche's fault! Why does Korn look so satisfied with this development?

So Porsche gets a week vacation to hang with Chay and be reminded of why he agreed to do this in the first place? Hm.

Learn to knock FFS, Kinn. Oh, he did not know about this move from Korn? Why looking for Porsche dude? Finally sober up and realize how badly you fucked up? (We can hope.) I don't know if I would go with "heartbroken" so much as just plain "broken." Pete with some (badly needed) good advice.

Porsche's old friends can tell there's something going on with him. Porsche's new life keeps invading the settings of his old life.

Kinn you officially have less understanding of boundaries than my cat. Also, you have bodyguards for a reason. If you leave them behind so you can go argue with/apologize to Porsche, wtf did you think was going to happen?!

Chan with the red alert. Korn with an unreadable expression. It's been like a million years since we had an action scene. Big has the worst luck, damn.

#b watches kinnporsche #kpts

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zvezdacito · 4 years ago

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Haha do u guys ever think about how malleus and silver look similar with reversed color palettes

sheeesh hope this design choice doesnt indicate anything like how silver parallels malleus in a way they were both orphaned to be raised by lilia but silver was raised with more leniency and affection than malleus because he wasn’t burdened by titles and constantly keeping up the ominous impression expected of a fae prince haha

#like even their bangs are almost identical wtf #malleus draconia #silver vanrouge #zvzd yap

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heavenfordoms · 4 years ago

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”Innocent“ Hug (Deku x fem! Reader):

Pairing(s): Deku x reader

Warning(s): 18+ minors DNI, cussing, manga spoilers, riding, death, semi-public sex, eating out

Genera: angst to fluff to smut

A/N: wait this was actually fun and easy to write for me wtf

Fandom: My hero academia (boku no hero academia)

Glossary:

Y/n = your name

Summery: Bakugou looses his life in battle and y/n goes to comfort Deku, soon Deku ends up forgetting about Bakugou as y/n rides him

You sucked in a breath, holding it for a while as you stared at the villain in front of you. You where crouched down low so you knew that he couldn’t see you. But you sure saw him. Your quirk was called memory, you could memorize anything that you wanted. The downside to this quirk is that while your mind was full of knowledge your body was weak so it was no good for battle-training, another bad thing (or more annoying then anything) is that we can’t forget it, ever, even if you wanted to. You remember every single detail of your life and every single thing that has happened to this point in grave detail. Not like you wanted to remember it, but you felt so worthless that it was almost blood to memorize everything. Like how there where five street lamps outside the bar. They where dimly lit and flickered every five second, each one after the other. The one on the very right was the first to flicker then it would go all the way to the left. Sometimes the one in the very middle would shut off at random times as the other lamps brightly shone in the night-sky.

“Could you stop mumbling?!” Katsuki whisper-yelled at you. You slightly cringed at the blonde male’s words before nodding your head in a form of acceptance (for some reason people saw that as acceptance so you did as well).

Katsuki is a young man of average height for somebody his age, with a slim, muscular build, and a fair skin tone. He has short, spiky, ash-blond hair with choppy bangs that hang over his eyebrows. His eyes are sharp and bright red in color. His hero costume is composed of a tight, black, sleeveless tank top, with an orange "X" across the middle, forming a v-neck. There are two dots along the left line of his collar, indicating the support company that designed his costume. His costume also has a metallic neck brace worn with rectangular ends that have three holes on each side. His sleeves reach from within his large grenade-like gauntlets to his biceps. His belt, which also carries grenades, holds up his baggy pants with knee guards, below which he sports black, knee-high combat boots with orange soles and eyelets. His mask is jagged and black, and as it goes around his eyes, a large, orange-rimmed flare shape protrudes from each side.

You focused your eyes off of Kastsuki and onto Dabi, the villain who was standing guard outside the bar. Dabi is a fairly tall, pale young man of a slim, somewhat-lanky build, described to be in his early twenties. He has white hair with a few red streaks at the crown that spikes upward around his head, hanging low over his eyes, which are thin, turquoise in color, and heavily lidded. Before the reveal of his true identity, his hair was dyed black. His most striking features are undoubtedly the patches of gnarled, wrinkled, purple skin that cover much of his lower face and neck, all the way down past his collarbone, below his eyes and on his arms and legs due to him having a quirk at a early age and not knowing how to control it. These appear to be attached to the rest of his skin by multiple, crude surgical staples or hoop piercings. He has several silver cartilage piercings in both ears, and a triple nostril piercing on the right side of his nose. He also seems to be lacking earlobes on both sides of his ears upon close inspection, he wears a dark blue jacket with a high, ripped collar, and matching pants, cut off above his ankles, a pair of dark dress shoes on his feet. He also has a plain pale gray, scoop-neck shirt, below which a gray belt with a circular pattern wraps around his waist, a leather satchel attached at the back.

Nobody knew his real name, until now, Dabi had revealed himself as Touya Todoroki. Everyone now calls him Touya but it never settled right in your gut to call him that. His name was Dabi to you and it will always be Dabi. It didn’t matter if he did a big entry and say that he is part of the Todoroki’s Dabi didn’t seem like them. The Todoroki’s where a strict family with ruled set in place. Endeavor, now the number one hero, had tried to welcome his family with more open arms. You could tell that Dabi’s opening was not out of grief for his family but instead out of spite. Like saying to Endeavor that he needs to take a chill pill with this whole anime redemption arc thing that he has going on for himself (and you didn’t quiet disagree with the oriole scarred man either).

You often thought of life like a anime, it was easier to explain. If somebodies life was broken they just ended up in the wrong anime. It also helped reminded you that every villain has a backstory. You never got to see their perspective in things. You never got to see what happened to the villains after they got defeated. Nope. You never got to see that, maybe if people saw the villain’s side. Everyone would hate the hero‘s and build their own path just as villains do. They make a path that no one has ever gone on, slowly making it a dirt road and them turning it again into an actual road that everyone can go on. Villains never got the roadwork. Hero’s probably always destroy it.

“So what’s the plan?” You leaned in close to Katsuki and whispered in his ear, Kastuki tensed up next to you and sucked in a breath before looking at you through pointy eyes.

”I will distract scar-man while you go and get Deku from the bar.” Kastuki explained, you nodded your head ‘yes’ before you pointing in the direction you where going to go. Kastuki grunted to himself as he crawled slowly in the opposite direction. Sending explosion at Dabi’s face before ducking behind a large wooden tool-box that had the words ”Back Bend Inc” on it in Ariel black font. Although it had been there for so long that the black ink looked to be a dark smoky gray. You quietly padded off into the opposite direction, your head ducked and eyes darting every five seconds to catch every detail around you.

Silently, you slipped into the bar. There was a wooden plank that held up the first stand, it looked to be pretty normal from here. There was dark wine stands that had a light brown color to them. The walls where colored with a sand tan. Over by the bar there was stacks and stacks of different liquor that people could have. Above was the general black chalkboard menu, there was smeared blue chalk that said “SPECIAL: Burbon” the strong smell of liquor and whisky hung in the air. There was a cigarette hanging off the ledge, still lit and everything. It looked pretty normal, but there was a slight piece of the cigarette where it was unwrapped and that told you enough to not say ’fuck it’ and have a smoke break. Turning your head slowly you walked up to Kurogiri. Information began flooding in your head about the villains and the bar. Unluckily for you everyone noticed the smartness you had and quickly found out your quirk. They began to flood your Brian with information. Information that a kid didn’t want to hear. You heard everything when you where just in High School. Now, everyone hated your quirk, everyone fucking hated it. The people who raised you said that you where a monster and that they didn’t know you anymore. But the sad part was you didnt do anything wrong. After hours of racking through your mind you couldn’t find a single moment where you did something bad. “I need to see Tomura.” You stared blankly at the mist villain. Kurogiri's entire body is made out of a dark purple mist, save for his eyes, which are glowing yellow. He normally wears a very elegant suit with a tie and has a metal brace that goes from around his collarbone to just below his eyes. It was pretty simple description of the villain, but there wasn’t much to him.

“Now?“ The male inquired, a hint of annoyance traced his smooth and calming voice. His voice sounded a lot like a gently sea softly rippling in the waves. But in actuality he was more like a thundering storm as the large ocean waves crashed harshly against large dark-gray-almost-black rocks.

“Yes, it is important.” You answered, putting a fake smile across your face. You still heard the faint sound of explosions from Katsuki and knew that you didn’t have a lot of time. Katsuki only could hold off for fifteen minutes before he went full on battle mood. And the villains would definitely think at something is up. Kurogiri hummed thoughtfully before nodding his head in agreement and holding out his purple misted hand.

”Come on dear…” The man whispered soothingly and smiling up and down at you.

“Thanks!” You chirped getting up and going behind the bar, following the villain down the stairs that creaked underneath your feet.

“BOSS!! Somebody wanted you!!” Kurogiri called, you took a deep breath before flinching as you looked into the villains base.

It was the same red bricks that seemed to be different colors every brick that was placed down to make the wall of the bar. There was smooth fake wood counter with clean royal red plush bar stools with the smallest backs on them. There was a few hero posters scattered around the base, one medium sized All Might poster hung to the right of a small screen TV. The dull gray light picketed on and off as the headlights didn’t provide much protection against the dark loom of everything. Different types of bottles hung on narrowed shelves behind the bar. Right next to the bar was a metal door, the window had cages around it and a long shiny knob that went down the left side. To the right of the door was a old faction radio station with LED lights surrounding it. It was currently playing Take Me to Church, apparently just starting to play it seeing how the introduction was still on. You narrowed your eyes before leaning against the red brick wall and giving everyone a swept gaze. All of the villains names that where forced to memorize came to your head all of a sudden.

Himiko Toga was standing in the farthest left, spinning in the red barstools.

Himiko is a relatively petite, fair-skinned girl who is very prone to blushing and is frequently described as to having a rather pretty face. She has slightly inward-tilting bright yellow eyes with thin slits, making them somewhat resemble those of a cat, and her wide mouth is also rather feline, as both her upper and lower canines are more pointed and longer than the rest of her teeth, giving her a vampire-like appearance. Her hair is a pale, dirty ash-blonde and is styled into two messy buns, with numerous wild strands sticking out at all angles from their centers and where they’re fastened, a straight fringe and two chin-length side bangs to frame her face. Himiko’s outfit consist of a plain seifuku with a Kansai collar, both the skirt and the shirt dark blue with a double white trim, which is paired with a red scarf that she ties loosely below. Over this, she wears an oversized beige cardigan with a rather long hem and cuffs, and pockets on either side, the right one shown to hold a number of trinkets on either a keychain or a cellphone strap. She sports knee-length black socks and dark brown dress shoes with thick heels, the same as the outdoor uniform shoes students traditionally wear in Japanese schools.

Tomura was standing next to Himiko, a bored expression clouding his features.

Tomura is a slim man with deathly pale skin, tinged yellow, and wrinkled a great deal around his eyes. His lips are chapped and uneven, a small mole on the right underneath, with visible scars on his right eye and under his lip. He has messy grayish-blue hair of varying lengths, the longest clumps reaching to about his shoulders, left hanging over his face in uneven waves. His eyes are normally obscured, but when visible, they are usually stretched wide in a rather maniacal manner, their bright red irises are very small.

Interestingly, when Tenko was at the age of five, he bore a striking resemblance to Izuku Midoriya, with his blue hair originally being dark black in color, while also having dried patches of skin around his eyes, though his lips were shown to be healthy in appearance. After his Quirk manifested, his appearance changed giving him a wrinkled face and changing his hair color.

Nobody else was in the base, the rest of the villains where busy surviving customers or dealing with Bakugou.

Then you saw him

Deku…

Deku has been a classmate of yours for a while, although you guy’s rarely talked to each other you always admired his strength and wisdom. Soon he became the number one hero and you became the second, Bakugou and Todoroki following closely behind. The only real reason you where able to make it to number two was due to the popularity votes for citizens. Everyone liked you, they loo up to you. So rationally you often teamed up with Deku. He was not good with the citizens since he never got a chance to talk to them due to the fact that he broke his bones in battle often but his quirk was amazing. And you didn’t have a lot of strength so that gave you time to connect with the citizens. The two of you working together helped everyone live a better place. Now seeing him tied up and helpless, it made you pretty angry.

“I would love to sit here and chat, but I got a hero to save!” You smirked as you raced on ahead and grabbed Deku, pulling him out of the chains before the villains had any time to react. Standing next to the hero you where slightly taller (mind you he hasn’t grown since high school so that wasn’t really anything to brag about being taller then him).

”HELLPPP!!!” A scream shouted from Kastuki, your eyes widened as you sprinted off to get the number three hero. Deku closely followed you as he got his quirk ready. But by the time that you rushed out you knew it was too late. Katsuki had been crushed by the blue flames that wrapped around his body.

“KACCHAN!!!” Deku screamed, DabI whipped his head around and started at the number one hero.

”You idiot!“ You hissed as you grabbed Deku’s arm and made a run for it. Dragging him out into the open where a bunch of other hero’s where’s standing just in case something happened. You noticed that they where busy on their phones and probably didn’t even hear Katsuki screaming for help. You rushed Deku to the side of the red brick building and waited for a ambulance to come pick Deku up. Once they carried him away you narrowed your eyes at the pro-hero’s.

”I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IF YOU ACT LIKE THAT AGAUN!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STRESS YOU PUT US THROUGH??? DYNAMIGHT COULD HAVE STILL BEEN ALIVE IF YOU HAVEN��T SAT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY AND ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLUTS!! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO RIP ALL OF YOUR HEADS OFF, FEED THEM TO MY DOG, MAKE MY DOG SHIT OFF A BRIDGE AND SEE THE SHIT SMEERED ON THE TIRE, GET A LIGHTER AND BURN THE CAR DOWN, TAKE THE ASHES AND PUT THEM IN A GROUND, I WILL TAKE THE GROUND WHERE THE ASH IS AND MAKE IT A STRIPER CLUB, AND THEN GET A EXORCIST TO PUT YOU TO HELL!!!” You started cussing them off, the pro-hero’s shuffled uncomfortably and looked at each other with weird stares. They knew that they where in shit when they pissed you off. You weren’t very easy to piss off so when somebody pissed you off they knew they were in deep horse shit.

*** You rushed into the hospital bed where Deku was at. Your breath coming out in short puffs as you stood on the edge of the male’s bed and watched as thick tears streamed down his face. You grew soft and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Calm down baby…I am here…” You reassured, slowly climbing on the bed and getting on him. Deku gulped thickly at the closed distance between the two of you and began sweating nervously.

“Y/n!“ You yelped, trying to scoot back. You looked up at him and gave the male a cocky smile.

“What? Are you suggesting something?” You leaned in and whispered in Deku‘s ears. Deku whined before nodding his head ‘yes‘ you rolled your eyes and began to unbutton your shirt. Popping out a few buttons in the process. Gently, you pulled down your panties and threw them to the side, lifting up your skirt and showing your ass to Deku. Deku trembled slightly and started licking at the entrance, slowly, he began eating you out. You moaned quietly before bucking Your hips backwards. Deku gasped before moaning also and continuing to do his work. Once Deku are you out for a few minutes you pulled away and Deku looked at you with large puppy dogs eyes. His Greek emerald eyes blown wide in lust.

You leaned down and took off his pants with your teeth, dragging your nails up his clothed hero uniform shirt. Deku bucked his hips up and whimpered. You smirked into the material. Once you actually got the pants down you slipped off his boxers and starting to get settled on Deku.

You and Deku had this off and on thing. You guy’s weren’t dating each other and fucked other people but it was always a delight when you got to fuck him. A smile always formed on his lips when you topped him. He always thought that everyone was going to leave him to be the top, so it was reassuring when he saw that somebody cared about him enough to dom him and show him who is in control.

You where snapped back into reality when Deku gasped in shock as you took him all in, groaning slightly at the fact that you took him with such ease because he has been in you so much. Slowly you waited for yourself to adjust (which didn’t take that long) before you started bouncing up and down. Deku threw his head back and moaned loudly as felt your walls clench around him. You kept bouncing on him up and down in a rhyme pattern.

“Come on baby, thought you liked it…” You pouted, looking down on the green haired hero and smiling cockily.

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amispnrewatch · 4 years ago

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SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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sparklingichigo · 4 years ago

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Drama Intensifies

Part 9

Okay, back to Solomon and Ichigo. So far so good nothing is happening between them just sleeping soundly until the bolster falls. Oh wow, Solomon and Michael did jinx this. But before that let's get back to where they got back.

Ichigo: Oh boi that's a ride!

Solomon: Yeah!

Barbatos: I'm glad you two return safely^^ Did you get any help?

Ichigo: Well grandpa did say he'll come here to search for me since he can read the future and everything.... so yea...

Barbatos: There are two possibilites. Him appearing in time or appearing too late. Let's all hope he appears in time.

Suddenly all three of them see a suspicious figure behind them. There's also the holy sword coming from the sky. Both Solomon and Ichigo are shocked by this until they see Michael coming into the halls of the castle.

Ichigo: Michael?!

Michael: Hello to you too, Ichigo.

Barbatos: It's very nice to meet you again, Michael. What brings you to the castle?

Michael: I've seen something really horrifying from the dark realm. It seems to be the person I just stabbed was a decoy. They're disguising as Reika in order to kill you two.

Solomon: Kill us? Why would they kill us?

Michael: I've been informed by the grim reaper himself that she has this desire to kill Ichigo but turns out the shadow king wants you dead as well, Solomon. Based on what I heard, they seem to be trying to get rid of you, Solomon, and Haruka since all three of you are the keys to their loss.

Ichigo: I see...

Solomon: Then what do you suggest we do?

Michael: Stay in Celestial Realm. Until everything is cleared or at least until Simeon and Haruka return.

Solomon: Didn't I get banned for 3 months?

Michael: And it's already four months, Solomon.

Solomon: oh...

Barbatos: I also saw the future and the reality in which you stayed in devildom will cause your death so I suggest you go to the celestial realm with Michael. I let the house of lamentation know that you two are gone and they must not tell a soul.

The two nod and off they go to the celestial realm. Now here they are sharing a room and bed that night. Unconsciously dropping the bolster and end up cuddling together.

Solomon: [blinks awake] o-o

Ichigo: [sleeping soundly]

Solomon: [chuckles slightly] I never notice you actually look adorable asleep like this. It's nice to finally see you looking peaceful like this [fix her bangs that's falling to her face]

Solomon suddenly feels his heart beating quite fast due to such a view. Sure he's not loyal in the first place but he's in an open relationship with Asmo so he's sure Asmo would let him court Ichigo but will Beel let him? Just as he's thinking he hears Ichigo muttering some words of magic in her sleep.

Ichigo: O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes! (Dragon summoning magic)

Solomon: Heh, as if the dragon will appear. Now I know why Beel likes you a lot, Ichigo [pats her]. Never thought I of all being would fall for your charms. Oh well, sweet dreams^^

The next morning, Ichigo feels something wet is hitting her and when she did wake up, she finds Solomon drenched in holy water and there's Luke and Michael praying for him.

Ichigo: What's happening....?

Luke: He tried to touch you this morning!

Ichigo: Ew! WTF!!

Solomon: No I didn't!

Michael: Lying to an angel, how bold of you [shows footage he gets from Solomon's memory of him trying to kiss Ichigo at 3 am]

Ichigo: Damn, Solomon! I get it you're horny but don't use me like that!

Ichigo: [accidentally gets shot and feels burning in her skin] Ouch-

Luke: ...

Michael: Luke! She has demon blood! Spraying her with holy water would just kill her!

Luke: ;-; aaa I'm sorry! I don't mean to! I meant to shot it at Solomon's wandering hands!

Michael: [sigh] I guess you'll be sleeping on Luke's room for the next night.

Luke: [nods] It'll be safer with me! Not with this suspicious human! >:(

Solomon: Hey! [offended noises]

Ichigo: Stay away from me you perverted sorcerer! [moves away and goes behind the angels]

Yes, Solomon, she's a loyal person. She prefers Beel anyway, so no. Please don't court her. Anyways back to Haruka's world, here she is eating breakfast with her family and Simeon.

King: Hmm...Cyrstalia, I think we should find you a partner soon. I'm getting old and not anyone can inherit the throne. Perhaps a prince or someone from a noble family.

Haruka: [laughs nervously] I'm not interested in dating anyone though... I can rule the kingdom on my own and even if I want to marry someone must this person be from a noble family?

King: Of course! You're a royal, aren't you?

Queen: My dear, stop that! She can choose who she loves to be with her. Besides she's the one ruling the kingdom not the other way around!

Queen: Crystalia, my dear, just find someone that you truly love, okay? I don't want you to suffer and be with someone that you don't love.

Haruka: Of course, mother.

Well I know what you're thinking. Simeon is her boyfriend why doesn't he have a say in this? I mean they're royals and her father is really protective so exposing your identity would be really dangerous.

King: Hmm, how about Cloud? You used to be close to him, aren't you?

Haruka: I don't feel any romantic feelings for him though... besides, I already have one person in mind.

King: Really? Is he around?

Haruka: I'll tell you when I'm ready, father...

King: Alright.

Now back to these two, this chaotic duo. The two of them end up eating breakfast with Michael and Luke in such an awkward situation. Ichigo ends up sitting beside Luke out of awkwardness and that means Solomon needs to sit beside Michael. Poor guy....

Solomon, internally: Okay that night was a mistake. A horrible one plus I ain't dying because of the twins and Asmo coming after me that's just insane.

Just as he mentioned twins, he heard the door knock and speak of the devil, it's Beel!

Solomon: Beel?!

Michael: ?? Beelzebub, what brings you here?

Beel: Oh well... Angel Uriel gave me access and Barbatos told me that she's-

Before he can even finish his words, Ichigo went straight in and hugs the heck out of him.

Beel: It's nice to see you too, Sugar^^

Ichigo: Honeybear!! ;-; I miss you a lot!

Beel: As I was saying, Barbatos told me that she's here so I came along...

Solomon: .... that'd just expose her locations-

Beel: Ah, don't worry^^ Barbatos just tell them that I'm somewhere in the human world for a mission. They also told me that Reika is coming to kill you guys...

Solomon: One of the reasons why we're here.

Michael: Correct, Celestial Realm can only be accessed with demons if he has an invitation considering Uriel gave you one that means you can stay for a while. Either than that, you'll be considered an intruder and be thrown back to Devildom, or probably Hell who knows, it depends on Angel Rhamiel since he's the one in charge of that. But do come in Beel, we have plenty of food for you^^

Beel: What a coincidence! I'm actually a little hungry! Come on, sugar^^

Ichigo: Eum, okay!

The breakfast proceeds with Beel this time sitting beside Ichigo and Luke moving so Beel and Ichigo can sit next to each other. Their lovey-dovey-ness makes Solomon more guilty because he technically almost ruined such a beautiful and healthy relationship.

Michael: Feeling guilty now, I see...

Solomon: What...?

Beel: Oh? Did he do something?

Michael: It's nothing^^ It'd be such a disgrace if I expose him in front of a guest. Anyways, have you heard the news about Shadow King trying to take over all 3 realms?

Beel: I did, Levi is preparing the navies from the ocean to help us. It might turn into a big tsunami and all. I'll be also helping since I have lots of underlings and all. Well all seven of us do have each of our underlings for this since we're technically the 7 lords of hell.

Michael: True, I suppose they're against the union of all 3 realms considering they're attacking Celestial realm as well.

Beel: Shadow King has always been enemies with Diavolo so no wonder he's gonna destroy his plan.

And so, Michael and Beel end up discussing what they'll do as Luke, Solomon, and Ichigo just eat confusedly because it's army stuff they have no idea off. Okay, maybe Solomon understands what's going on but he's a human so the angel and demon system is a bit confusing for him.

Beel: Speaking of which, is there a room I can sleep in?

Michael: Hmm perhaps Ichigo's room and I'll move Solomon to Luke's room?

Luke: Why can't she just sleep in my room?

Beel and Solomon: No!

Ichigo: ....??

Michael: [sigh] Perhaps that's a good idea. Ichigo, you'll be moving to Luke's room.

Ichigo: That's great! Right, Luke?

Luke: Yeah! Sucks to be you two! [laughs]

That was it, Ichigo ends up in Luke's room which is also Simeon's room so she's technically using Simeon's bed or vice versa while Beel ends up in Solomon's room. But we'll return to that soon, for now, let them rest peacefully^^

#obey me fanfiction #roleplaybased #mymc #obey me solomon #obey me beelzebub #obey me luke #hahaeveryoneisasimpforichigo

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bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

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My kingdom for a fic where Dick just full on ignores the fuck out of every reservation, concern and condemnation Bruce has about Jason and his choices after his return, because like this is his brother, the only family member that’s ever come BACK from the dead after Dick’s lost them, and he’s not about to let anything get in the way of that, thanks.

(But also in this AU Jason didn’t almost kill Tim, because that’s the one thing Dick wouldn’t easily be able to look past or forgive and still be in character, even for the sake of another brother, and its crazy to me that it doesn’t come up more as Dick being like, hey Jaybird, you are Valid for a lot of what you feel and are doing but you were NOT Valid for almost killing Timmy and I can be and am quite rightfully peeved at you for that like wtf bro).

Right, so here, Jason doesn’t do that, and literally everything else he does Dick is more than capable and willing to shrug and go oh is that it? And then blithely resume having a relationship with his little brother wherein they hang out and have movie nights and be obnoxiously competitive, with not a single fuck given about anyone else’s feelings that Dick should not be doing this.

Meanwhile, the vein in Bruce’s forehead has grown so large its evolved its own consciousness and identity, its name is Vinnie, Vinnie the Vein, and Bruce and Vinnie are of one mind when they’re like “Richard John Grayson, I FORBID you from shenaniganning with your wayward brother until he has ceased his murder sprees.”

And Dick’s just like can’t stop, won’t stop, anyway love to stay and chat but I promised Jay I’d meet him in half an hour and I’m already running late, gotta go love ya lots, byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye.

Eventually Bruce really tries to put his foot down because its highly unlikely Jason will come in from the cold on Bruce’s terms if Dick keeps ‘enabling’ his brother, mostly because Jason’s not really out IN the cold in the first place as long as the brothers are hanging out, as they do, having a perfectly chill familial relationship whilst waiting for their father to get the hell over himself and also unclench long enough for Timbers to escape the inexorable magnetic pull that is Bruce’s Aura of Contagious Paranoia, and like...come join them on their brotherly outings, it’ll be fun.

And finally Bruce is all, Dick, you realize your brother is killing people, right? And Dick serenely is just like: “Oh is that what all the fuss is about? Gee, I thought it was all just a fight about the proper pronunciation of ‘gif.’ You know how out of control those can get. No shit Jason’s killing people. I’m aware. Also, I don’t care.”

Before Bruce can finish firing up his Righteous Indignation and Judgment and jump in there, Dick continues, ticking points off his fingers one at a time.

“One of my best friends is literally the daughter of Evil, and has on occasions, plural, been evil herself. I couldn’t care less. One of my best friends has a daughter with an internationally infamous assassin who has definitely tried to kill me multiple times, with this quite probably being a violation of some kind of Bro Code. I couldn’t care less. One of my best friends was possessed by evil spirits and did tons of terrible things right before he died and I couldn’t care less when visiting his grave, nor do I care that his dad, an even more internationally infamous assassin than Roy’s baby mama, and who has DEFINITELY tried to kill me multiple times, does lots of terrible things on the regular, both before and after we meet up for coffee every now and then to reminisce about Joey.”

He comes up for air, refuels his tank, keeps going.

“One of my teammates is an identical duplicate of the former teammate who betrayed us all and almost got us all killed. Its weird and awkward but we make it work. Another one of my teammates was a killer robot that previously murdered one of my dearest friends. SUPER fucking awkward, but again, we made it work. Other things I give no fucks about: the rap sheets of any of my teammates on the Outsiders, the rap sheet of one of your star-crossed lovers, the body count of your other star-crossed lover. I mean sure, I’m a snarky asshole about it, but I’m a snarky asshole about butter pecan pie too. I don’t like, care care. Not like the way you cared about Huntress’ unwholesome methods before I was her booty call, and yet that too played no part in my decision making before I let her hit this. Half of your teammates decided to treat your memory like an Etch-a-Sketch once, but somehow you all managed to make nice again, but not until after the invasive spy satellite you made got hijacked and unleashed an army of killer robots that definitely did kill a metric fuck ton of people. Major Disaster and multiple other Justice Leaguers have done some Very Bad Things, Diana snapped a guy’s neck on candid camera and still isn’t sorry, you play chess every once and a while with a guy who spends half his time as a millennia old demon who has eaten entire fucking civilizations, and do not even get me started on Hal Jordan. Are you starting to see a point here, B?”

Bruce says nothing, but Vinnie the Vein has a shit poker face. Dick sighs.

“And you know what all of those people have in common, Bruce?”

Bruce bites. “What’s that?”

“None of them are my goddamn brother. So if I can figure out a way to coexist in the same sphere as all of that insanely hot mess, I can figure out a way to coexist with my brother, so long as I know and trust he’s still fighting the good fight. Which I do. Do I like that he kills people? No. Does he know that? Yes. Do we fight about it? Occasionally. But know who I’m not gonna let be the reason me and my miraculously back from the dead brother don’t meet up for Taco Tuesday night? A bunch of murderers and rapists, because I wish they were sitting in Cell Block D for the next sixty years instead of dead. End of the day, their lives just aren’t as important to me as my little brother’s, and that may make me all kinds of hypocritical, but I’ll give you three guesses what’s another thing I don’t give a shit about. Now you can go home and spend the night hanging out with your moral convictions, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather spend it hanging out with Jay. And if we’re all done here, buh-bye, I’m late and I wouldn’t want Jay to think I flaked and wasn’t coming, who knows, he might go out and kill people instead.”

And eventually Bruce too pulls his head out of his ass because he can be Unconditionally Moral or he can be Unconditionally Dad but he can’t unconditionally be both, and this was kinda a choice he was supposed to have made back when he first signed on the dotted line that supposedly meant his kids would no longer be pinballing through life looking for someone to unconditionally love and support them, because he was volunteering as tribute to do just that.

And finally Bruce makes nice, or at least actively less hostile, baby steps are sometimes required with superhero cryptid shaped a-holes, and then they all live dysfunctionally ever after. Periodically interrupted by one of them dying and the rest of them besieging Death’s door and banging obnoxiously on it and refusing to let her get any sleep whatsoever until she crankily says none of them are worth this aggravation and she’s not getting paid enough for this shit and tosses their recently deceased relative on their ass back on the mortal coil just to be rid of the annoying pests.

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csichick-2 · 5 years ago

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I'm semi-plotting a Lashton Mpreg AU in my head that may never end up on paper because I get nervous about sharing RPF.

So in this potential story, shortly after Ashton joins the band, he passes out after a gig and at the hospital they find out that Ash has been physically and sexually abused and also that he's pregnant, which Ashton himself didn't even know yet. He's also malnourished cuz he was trying to lose the weight he was gaining from his pregnancy because he just thought he was getting fat. Liz conveniently has a sister that's a social worker who conveniently also happened to be at the gig. She works her social worker magic and Liz and Andrew get emergency custody of Ashton and his siblings. Lauren and Harry weren’t abused - Ash took it all and never said anything to keep them safe. Ashton almost has a miscarriage because of the abuse and malnutrition, but the baby's a fighter and pulls through. He considers having an abortion because the pregnancy resulted from rape, but ends up deciding to have the baby. He's nervous that Liz and Andrew will throw him out when he turns 18, but Liz reassures him that they'll never force him to leave, but that if he chooses to, they'll help him find a place of his own and help him out financially until he's able to support himself on his own.

Ashton's first night home from the hospital, he has a nightmare and Luke - who's room is right across the hall - ends up crawling into bed with Ash and comforting him. This happens several nights in a row and eventually Luke just stops starting out in his own bed and is all "yeah Ashton and I share a bed now, deal with it." Andrew thinks it's a bad idea cuz Luke and Ash are 15 and 17, but Liz is all yeah Ashton's already pregnant and Luke can't get pregnant, so let's just roll with it.

Luke and Ash and Cal and Mikey keep doing their thing with the band and they start getting comments on YouTube asking if Lashton is having a baby cuz Ash has started showing and Luke is always fussing over him. Luke, Cal, and Mikey do a video without Ash so he’s not forced to talk about it and address the abuse situation as tactfully as they can and leave a link to an article about the trial related to the abuse.

Ash finds out he’s having a girl and the first time Luke feels her kick, he refers to her as “our baby” and Ashton falls in love with him right then and there. Luke’s also been reading pregnancy books and has pretty much decided that he’s helping Ashton co-parent this baby whether his parents like it or not. Liz and Andrew aren’t thrilled cuz Luke’s still only 15, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about at this point.

I haven’t worked out the details, but Luke manages to convince Ash, Liz, and Andrew that his name should be on the baby’s birth certificate as her second father. Liz is also in the delivery room when Ash goes into labor - like a week after a gig cuz the band isn’t letting Ash’s pregnancy stop them - but Luke is the one holding Ash’s hand and supporting him through giving birth to Baby Hemmings-Irwin. Ashton names her Lucie after Luke and her middle name is Elizabeth after Liz. The night they bring Lucie home from the hospital, Luke says that since he and Lucie share a first initial, their next kid’s name has to begin with an A and Ash is all “I literally just gave birth so we’ll talk about that much later.” A few week’s later, Ash turns 18 and Luke proposes to him and Ash is all WTF because Luke still is only 15, but he says yes cuz they’re stupid in love, but he figures it will be a long engagement until Luke’s 18. Except in New South Wales, you can get married at 16 with the consent of your parents and the court and Luke’s a persistent bastard and pulls it off, so when the boys - with baby Lucie - head to London for songwriting, Luke & Ashton Hemmings-Irwin are married.

Around when it’s announced they’ll be be opening for 1D on the Take Me Home Tour, Luke starts talking to Ash about having a second baby and has already figured out the timing to make sure the baby’s not born until after the tour. Ashton doesn’t know how to say no to Luke, but says they can only start trying if Cal and Mikey are okay with it in case another pregnancy ends up ruining the band. Mikey's all "wait you mean you're not already pregnant?" cuz he figured they started trying their wedding night. He and Cal give their blessing and by the end of 2013, their son Avery is born cuz Luke won the A name argument. Their management throws a hissy when they find out Ash is pregnant and threaten to kick him out of the band and replace them, but Luke, Cal, and Mikey all say they’ll quit if that happens, so management begrudgingly puts up with it. There’s some backlash from fan parents thinking two irresponsible teenagers having a kid is a bad example for their children and Luke is all “Excuse me, my husband and I planned the timing of this out very well thank you very much” on twitter and the internet explodes cuz Lashton are married. But generally the reaction is positive and the boys have fun with it letting fans guess when the Lashton baby will arrive and the gender.

Early 2015, they have twin boys who's names begin with C and M cuz they're nerds like that and then have another boy a year later, which is how they have five children before Luke's 20th birthday. Ashton pops out three more boys in 2017, 2018, and 2019 with no plans of stopping with the babies because Luke desperately wants another girl and Ashton at one point foolishly told Luke that he can get his pregnant as many times as possible up until Ash's 30th birthday and Luke ofc was all "challenge accepted." Luke's also become an expert at planning pregnancies around their tours so while a few times a show has started late because of Ash’s morning sickness, they've never had to cancel one.

Ash gets pregnant again right before the World War Joy tour starts, but because I'm evil, he miscarries, which they find out at the first ultrasound when there’s no heartbeat. And Luke blames himself. Because if he hadn’t insisted on using every available baby-making opportunity - the largest age gap between kids is the 17 months between Lucie and Avery - and given Ash’s body more time to recover between pregnancies, then maybe they wouldn’t have lost the baby. And also wonders if maybe it was God’s sign that they’re only meant to have 8 kids. Ashton tries to give Luke some space, but he’s hurt that Luke is withdrawing from him. Luke confides in Mikey a lot and Ash goes to Cal and both of them are all “dude, I love you, but I’m not your therapist.”

When the window that would have a kid be born during the gap between the North America and Australia legs of No Shame passes by with Luke making zero effort to actually make a baby, Ashton decides to take matters into his own hands. So the whole shirtlessness at Fire Fight is totally baiting Luke into wanting to have sex again cuz they haven’t since the miscarriage not even with Ash topping, cuz Luke only tops when they’re trying to conceive. They’re also asked in an interview if there are any plans for more kids and Ash is a cheeky bastard and says that he fully expects to be pregnant by the end of the year because Luke loves how he looks pregnant. And Luke is giving him “WTF did you really just say that?” looks. And then finally have an adult conversation and Ashton tells Luke that the miscarriage wasn’t his fault and that sometimes that shit just happens and dammit they’re going to keep trying until Luke finally gets his second girl. They start the baby-making process once they know the due date will be past the Australia shows, and Ash knows he’s pregnant with multiples even before the ultrasound because the only previous pregnancy where he had really bad morning sickness was with the twins. That still doesn’t prepare Luke & Ash for the doctor telling them that heartbeats 1, 2, AND 3 are all nice and strong and Ash immediately turns to Luke and tells him he’s a dead man. Cal and Mikey were baby-sitting while they were at the doc’s and are all nervous because Cal, Mikey, and Liz are the only ones that know about Ash’s miscarriage. But all is good and they find out that all three babies are girls and two of them are identical. Ash does go into labor early after the last Australia show, but they’re able to stop it, but he’s on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy which makes him really crabby. They’d been planning to stay in Australia until the babies were born anyway, their families are able to help out with the rest of the kiddos. Liz & Andrew Take them for Christmas because Ash doesn’t need that chaos and he ends up going into labor in the middle of the night on Christmas morning. They realize they won’t get to the hospital in time so Luke ends up delivering the first baby in their bedroom but the paramedics get there in time to deliver babies two and three. During the delivery, Ash informs Luke that he’s going to be getting a vasectomy, but Luke’s not sure if he actually means it given that 20 minutes later he also threatens to castrate Luke with a rusty spoon. They name the babies Soleil, Luna, and Astra - as in sun, moon, and stars. Mikey’s all wtf you guys are weird and Cal’s all “you’re only just figuring that out now?”

I haven’t decided yet if they’re done after the triplets or if Ash sticks to his original promise to let Luke knock him up until he’s 30 because they’re already at 11 kids and that’s a lot. If they do have more they’re going to wait a whole year before even thinking about trying because they’re gonna be more short on sleep than usual because three infants. Lucie is a mini Ashton in girl form, but the rest of the kids all have Luke’s hair and Ash’s eyes or Ash’s hair and Luke’s eyes. While the kiddos all know what their daddies do cuz they drag the kids on tour with them and hire tutors instead of sending them to school like normal people, they never push the kids towards learning any instruments. But Lucie starts banging about on Ash’s drums when she’s five and he starts teaching her and his heart grows about 50 sizes that she’s taking after him and it’s the cutest thing ever. Haven’t decided what level of musical talent any of the rest of the kiddos have but Luke does make the mistake of leaving one of his guitars out while Avery’s teething and it ends up with tiny tooth marks. He also ends up taking the lip ring out because baby number 5 is a grabber and pulls on it and Luke decides it should go before the kiddo is strong enough to rip it out and cause a lot of damage and pain. I haven’t done the research on hair dye and pregnancy, but might be losing out on Ash’s hair color evolution. And his earring because again tiny grabby hands, though it can always appear later once they’re done having babies.

I might do Malum as a side pairing - I haven’t decided yet. And since Ash is pregnant both times they open for 1D, that might facilitate Larry and/or Ziam coming out but that wouldn’t be a major plot point.

I did make a Sims save with teenage!5SOS last night to play this out. I was too lazy to make their families so it’s just Cal, Mikey, Luke, and Ash sharing an apartment and then I used mods to immediately make Ash preggers. The guy in the next apartment was having loud sex when they were trying to go bed so I sent Ash over to go yell at him since he can blame pregnancy hormones. This same neighbor also tried to invite himself over to eat their food after Ash made dinner so this guy is going to be one of those neighbors. I’m trying to avoid using the money cheat as much as I can, but they’ll need a bigger space by the time Avery’s ready to age up to toddler. I might move them into the swanky penthouse apartment with an indoor basketball court because it’s the only lot where I’ve found a place to put a rock climbing wall where it doesn’t get rained on and break every timer the weather’s wonky. Eventually Cal & Mikey will have to stop living with them but I’ll worry about that when there’s no more room for them. My mods let me do household sizes up to 25, so that part’s not an issue, it will just be a no more beds problem. Mods will also help me make sure that the right number and gender of kiddos are born each time. I’ll just have to force myself to not age up the babies the second they’re born because Sim babies are the world’s biggest pain in the ass.

#lashton #lashton hemwin

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wolfgabe · 6 years ago

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The Gauntlet my own mini reviews and thoughts

Mac n Me

The Gauntlet started off with quite the bang with this relatively infamous ET Knock Off. I had actually heard of Mac n Me prior but this is the first time I actually experienced it myself and it was quite the cheesefest if I say so myself. I love how at times Mac seems to fluxuate back and forth between a Looney Tunes character and a bootleg ET. The scene with the gun fight at the store might be one of the most WTF moments I have ever seen in a film period. Add in some of the most blatant and shameless examples of product placement and in film advertising and you got an alien turkey that just begs to be given the MST3K treatment. I almost lost it when the kid just plummeted off the cliff, no wonder that scene has become the source of many a Conen O Brian jokes.

Atlantic Rim

As of now the most recent film MST3K has ever done. This little gem comes courtesy of The Asylum which from what I have heard is notorious for making knockoffs of well known blockbuster films and Atlantic Rim is no exception. If its not the laughably awful CGI and generally unlikeable protagonist, its the absurdly hammy villain who feels like Big Boss from MGS fused with the General from The Angry Video Game Nerd movie. Just curious but did anyone get the urge to crack a Gurren Lagann joke at some point or another cause I sure did. Also Graham Greene is in this movie the same actor who played Kicking Bird from Dances with Wolves and was even in one of the most remembered shows from my youth The Red Green show, let that sink in for a moment.

Lords of The Deep

Next up we have what can be best described as a poor man's Abyss that also tries really hard to be like Star Trek and ends up falling flat on it's face. At some points you can tell its even trying to pull an Alien but it just fails miserably. I also couldn't help but notice they seemed fond of reusing the same footage over and over. Whenever the girl has visions from the goo I don't know if I was watching the opening to Dr Who or some early beta footage from James Camerons Avatar. The villain also has some similar issues to the villain from Atlantic Rim in that he tries to come off as domineering and threatening but I think ends up overdoing it a bit. Also Magic Stingrays for the win!!

The Day Time Ended

Have you ever watched one of those movies where it seems like the film makers had absolutely no clue what they were doing? The Day Time Ended is a perfect example of such a film and one of those movies that only feels watchable on MST3K. The plot just seems to bounce all over the place from one element to the next with nothing really being explained or elaborated upon. A giant kryptonite pyramid that can somehow become small enough to fit in your pocket, a cute little dancing green alien, killer cambots, and lets not forget a couple of aliens that look like they were dredged out of the dumpster from Ray Harryhausen's place. In all of this mess its only until the end that time travel is actually mentioned and even that plot point just seems to come out of nowhere with very little explanation or context. This would probably be what I consider one of the standout films of The Gauntlet.

Killer Fish

At the beginning its seems like Killer Fish can't seem to make up its mind on what exactly its supposed to be. There is a bunch of terrorists blowing up a power plant I think, a couple of guys sitting round a casino, and maybe some hokey romance plot. thrown in for good measure. Its around the half way point where I feel the film figures out its identity which is basically an imitation of Piranha mixed with a good old fashioned jewel heist story. Still that does little to save the film as the titular Killer Fish don't show up until around half way and most of the characters deaths consist of them flailing around drunk while we get some pretty shoddy camera work of their skin being eaten off. Maybe its just me but I had a feeling the fat guy was gonna die.

Ator The Fighting Eagle.

Finishing off The Gauntlet is a prequel to MST3K classic Cave Dwellers and its practically just as cheesy as ever. I can't help but notice mockbusters and knock off films have been a pretty recurring trend this season with Ator in fact being a knock off of Conan the Barbarian. I must say though I found the films description somewhat misleading as there aren't really any demonic spider gods in the film at all. Instead what we get is King Leonidas twin brother who apparently enjoys cuddling with tarantulas. There is one giant spider fight right at the end but its dragged down by the fact that the spider is barely shown on camera at all. I find it kinda hilarious how they just seemed to gloss right over the warrior woman's death at the end. Nothing though comes close to Cave Dweller's WTF moment with the hang glider. All in all an excellent way to finish off season 12

The Gauntlet ranked

1.Mac n Me

2. The Day Time Ended

3. Atlantic Rim

4. Ator The Fighting Eagle

5. Lords of The Deep

6. Killer Fish

Other thoughts

I like how M Waverly and Growler have become accepted as part of the crew. They really help add a new element to the riffs and host segments. You can tell much of the new cast by now are really starting to find their groove with how much of a step up from season 11 the jokes are. I also love how Jonah actually managed to turn the tables on the Mads. The new musical numbers were excellent as well with Concepts and Below the Dam being some of my new favorites.

Personally I would rate this season around 9/10. Its shorter than season 11 but it definitely makes up for it with quality

#mst3k #mystery science theater 3000 #mystery science theater 3000 the gauntlet #thoughts

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winedownwithcoffee · 7 years ago

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DWTS SEASON 27 HALLOWEEN TRASH THOUGHTS AND GIFS!

Halloween night is my all time favorite night on this show and last night was NO exception. Let’s get on with it!

Opening Number: was cute. It was not up there in my favorites unfortunately. I mean….it was just whatever to me. Though Bruno and val dancing was incredible. IDK wtf bobby was doing skipping lol this was very bobby heavy which I find realllllly telling. He was featured by the camera like 5 times? Milo’s little slide at the end was cute.Everyone looks so freaking good!

Milo & Witney: I loved this rehearsal package. Not the first part but after they start practicing in the asylum. Him trying to scare her was real cute. They set the dance up imo. THIS. DANCE. WAS. EVERYTHING. The nuances, the acting, the story, the music. I am obsessed. I have watched it 5 times already. When he looks in the camera right before the neck crack whew that was amazing. And the arm lick. The only thing I didn’t like was the head scratching when he walked away. Made it look like he had lice lmao. Seriously, this dance is my all time favorite dance done on this show ever. Ever. Deserved the 10s. I like Erins dress.

John & Emma: LOL at John not understanding Emma. You can see him sitting there not hearing a damn thing she said. Dad jokes for dayyyyyys. This dance didn’t deserve the scores it got but it also wasn’t that great? If that makes sense. I can see what the judges said though. In hold, he did well, out of hold it lost it. I laughed at the girls in the costumes though. Oh Alan and his girlfriend the skeleton….nevermind imma leave it alone. Should have had an extra 7.

Gleb is an exceptional dancer, horrible teacher, but whew he’s sexy when he dances. And Hayley is just a freaking bombshell. She’s really improved so much.

Demarcus & Linds: What are they trying to do here?? They give him a shit spot but then gas him up SO DAMN MUCH. It makes no sense. The beginning was cute with him picking up the boys. He is so stiff. two Missed hand passes, stompy feet. When he was dancing alone it was good. Why are we gassing him?? He’s not that amazing. This was not a breakthrough but whatever. Gas him up. I give up with the agenda this season. Should have been all 8’s imo.

God I love the damn pranks! Best ever. Jenna falling on the floor freaking killed me. Keo KILLED ME.

Evanna & Keo: I’m glad she’s finally done trying to please everyone and is just please herself. That is most important. This dance was good. Keo did great with choreography. But I forgot about it until now. I think this was a fantastic tango though. Keo really did that this week. She missed a step and I wish she would have hit some of those kicks harder but it still was the best ballroom dance of the night imo. Scores were good. Yay for Keo’s first ever 10’s.

Jabawackees left me underwhelmed compared to their past performances but god they are always amazing. The laser work was lit…..see what I did there?

Bobby & Sharna: I am glad they showed his busy effing schedule. Memaw was like “omg is he really doing this?? I am amazed he is functioning! I have much more respect for him.” Okay so this was by far his best dance yet, however, there was not a ton of AT. I see a lot of comparisons to Frankie’s contemp which ya’ll are on crack. Watch them side by side. They are not identical. The concept isn’t even the same. The only thing that is, is him popping up behind her. Witney is not the only one allow to use creepy remixes of songs. I love him singing her freaking praises, she one hundred percent deserves. Trash scores but that’s expected at this point. I give up.

Twitch and Alison dance was good but I’ve seen it all month on freeform pretty much lololol but even in that makeup, twitch is hot af

MLR & Sasha: STOP. FUCKING. CRYING. My god. Stooooooop. Also too late to drop that surprise divorce. Should have done that in week 3 or 4 tbh. Also, why are we talking about this on Halloween week? I don’t get it. His pranks on her were fantastic. This dance was ROUGH though.I thought it was a paso until they got off the stage, also she missed a few bits. Meh and that outfit did not do her justice lol whatever and I didn’t gif it. oops

Alexis & Alan: fuck I gotta watch this again. This package is SO.FUCKING.CRINGEWORTHY. I could have been fine if they didn’t force them to freaking discuss it on the couch. I hate it, it looks fake af, and alan isn’t there. She’s in it but he is not. The smile at her, I can see his mind going like “oh shit oh shit oh shit” I bet they at least bang….THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING BACHELOR. STOP IT. I hated this. The singer and track messed up the song, their lifts were messed up or forced. She kept up though so that works. He almost messed up that whole ending lift. Though the bit with Erin was fantastic, I love erin so much. Him sending it to Tom was great. Scores were about right I guess.

I love how the tour bit showcased Sharna so much LOL

Okay this tour number was hot af. I loved it so much. Also, I would pay money to have Artem take me in a red closet. They needed Val though…….I’ll be honest.

Jenna & Joe: Cute package. Loved the little date night but STOP.SHOWING.CLOWNS. gahhhhh. Hate clowns. He had a very good amount of content in this dance. Still awkward and stiff at times, but by far his best dance. I can’t with an extra fucking point for keeping it together when he almost dropped her. CAI is on crack again I see.

Wait. Sterling Silver is back in the ballroom watching……………………………………………….

JP & Cheryl: This dance was really good. He is really a fantastic dancer, but I always forget he is on this damn show until they mention him. He seems to be coming out..of his shell more lately. He is a very very artistic person. I really liked the concept of this dance too. It’s hard for me to hear this song and not see the opening for season 23 though. Deserves perfect scores.

Okay, Alexis being in jeopardy AGAIN for the third time this season PLUS this awful ass showmance shows me she is NOT getting the votes at all. But she’s probably touring so they need her to make the finals.

Favorites of the night

Milo Bobby Evanna Joe Demarcus JP Alexis John MLR

#dwts27

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asleepinawell · 7 years ago

Note

General physical contact headcanon and Physical appearance headcanon

General physical contact

shaw - i don’t think general physical contact really bothers shaw that much. like people being physically affectionate, yeah, probably uncomfortable and awkward, but i don’t think she has a strong aversion to contact. annoyance at people touching her for no good reason, absolutely, but it doesn’t freak her out (i’m not sure if i’m explaining the distinction well? i personally am really uncomfortable with general physical contact where it sometimes lowkey makes my skin crawl so this distinction is really clear to me and i don’t think shaw reacts in that way). when she brushes root off it’s usually because root is being, well, root. like even when she elbows her off in the truck it’s more like she was focused on the mess they were caught up in and then was like wait wtf why is root hugging me i am an elite assassin i do not get hugged + her being riled up from the chase.

i do think that contact that carries implied affection with it does make her uncomfortable though which is part of why root keeps things more geared towards teasing/flirting...because it’s easy for shaw to accept root being attracted to her, and harder to figure out what to do about root being in love with her. and that’s why them just holding hands for a couple seconds is a way more intimate scene than them banging on a table. it took them way longer to get to the hand holding stage of their relationship than it did to the banging stage.

root - root does not have the strongest physical sense of self. she spends a lot of time being other people or seeing herself as only the analogue interface (which i think is her preference and not something TM demands at all) and just strolling in front of bullets or letting herself get the crap kicked out of her to Prove A Point. root’s self-worth is all over the place, because she absolutely thinks she’s hot shit and is smug af, but she also doesn’t value herself. so general physical contact was another part of the games and identities and was a tool that she was mostly indifferent about. but that changes with shaw later on. to go back to the truck scene she’s freaked out and relieved because shaw almost died and she’s safe now and root’s just hugging her, and then when shaw notices she changes it into typical root teasing which shaw is way more comfortable with. but like how many people has root actually genuinely hugged in her life? this strays more into emotionally intimate physical contact than general physical contact, so i’ll cut myself off before i go down that route.

Physical appearance headcanon

shaw - shaw absolutely knows that she is the hottest shit ever. she knows exactly how attractive she is and she fucking owns it (and causes poor root to have gay meltdowns). she takes very good care of herself and is proud of her physical prowess. when it comes to wardrobe she goes for comfort and aesthetic both. like she usually wears stuff that’s easy to fight and move in (i blame all the heels on the need for her to be taller for filming purposes though if anyone could destroy badguys while wearing stylish heels it’s shaw) but also stuff that she looks great in....though i’m not sure what shaw would actually look bad in, so...

also i wrote a bunch about it before, but the fact shaw has her hair pulled up in a normal ponytail most of the time is one of my favorite things ever. like long hair? goes all over the fucking place? especially if you’re running around and fighting and all the other stuff she does. practical ponytail representation ftw. also it looks really fucking hot on her.

-----

root - kind of like my physical contact answer for her, i think a lot of root’s physical appearance is driven by the roles she needs to assume. outside of her alias’s outfits she doesn’t actually have that many shirts over the course of the show? she doesn’t have a lot of things that point at who she is at her core. i think the black nailpolish was kind of that for her...like a little thing that was very much her. when we do see her wearing clothes that aren’t for any alias or mission it’s often one of her few shirts, a leather jacket, and black jeans. i think that’s what root being herself as root defaults to. she thinks she looks like a fuckin badass. what a nerd. (i mean okay yes, she does look like a badass, but she’s still a nerd).

her wildly vacillating self-esteem seems pretty locked down for her physical appearance though. like shaw, she knows she’s hot and she owns it. she takes a good bit of time on her physical appearance, like i know less than nothing about hair anything but she’s running around with fucking fabulous hair in s5 that looks like she put some time and effort into during the fucking ai apocalypse. only root would be so extra. this is also why i forgive her for not pulling her hair back when she fights because root really is just that fucking extra. this is the only time i will ever buy that excuse.

#asks #mp #shootweek18 #poi headcanons #that was the last headcanon prompt i had #i have a couple other asks i'm gonna get to soon #feel free to send more headcanons from that list #though i might not get to them until tomorrow night #these were fun #Anonymous

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insomniiyac · 7 years ago

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Beyond My Pants and Into My Mind (An Aoyama x Everyone Concept)

You know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of reading the same awesome-ass fics revolving solely around Bakugou and Deku. So y’know what? I’m gonna make one revolving solely around twinkling boi because why not? >u>

NSFW Warning- not for the children or the faint of heart. Loads and loads of humor and sex with some wholesome content sprinkled in. Prepare to laugh your asses off. (This is a concept for a fic I may or may not write, so enjoy >u>)

Aoyama runs sex blog, also helps people with their problems

He realizes that some of them are actually his classmates after a conversation in the locker room

Insert online conversation with Deku (mild flirting). Reveals he’s crushing on Uraraka. Aww.

He feels bad about knowing their private lives but continues the blog after seeing how happy they are

Insert online conversation with Kouda

Holds a live show, people donate- sexy stuff ensues (with Bakuhoe going into maximum sadist overdrive)

Comes in the next day, normal day though his classmates are talking more openly about meeting V one day. Bakugou notices Aoyama’s apprehension and Kouda develops a crush

More sexy stuff that night/online sexting with Bakugou (reveals that Bakuhoe got a crush too holy shiet)

Bakugou confronts Aoyama after school. French boi gets scared and runs off, but expodikills corners him in the locker room and threatens to blow him up.

Aoyama reveals that he is V. Bakuhoe smashes his boiholes into smithereens. (did I mention frenchboi’s a virgin?) “I knew those moans sounded familiar.” Bakuhoe ensures his secret his safe.

Frenchboi got a limp, but he Gucci and goes to train anyway. Still gets ignored tho.

Insert online convo with Uraraka. Thinks V is sweet and wants to meet up. Oh no, what about Deku?

Receives gifts in the mail.

Inserts another online convo with Kouda. What a cutie, no way he could corrupt this innocent soul. Sends a tasteful nude.

Kouda wants to lose his virginity. Aoyama wants to help him, but that might give him away.

Fuck it, meets up and sleeps with Kouda. Disney princess is surprised that its him and is conflicted. Does it anyway. Hes happy. Ensures his secret is safe.

Receives message from Bakuhoe that night. He wants sum fuck. Give it to him.

Uraraka talks to girls about V. the girls are interested now. Time for some kitty cat.

Deku’s upset. His crush likes his advisor and now he refuses to visit the blog. Frenchboi’s hurt- that’s his bff

Convinces him to be honest with V and tell him whats up.

Insert online convo with Deku. Very heartwarming and Deku builds encouragement

V lets Uraraka down gently- she understands.

Frenchboi accidently spilling tea. Iida gets suspicious.

Insert convo with Iida. Turns out glasses boi got a thing for traps. Sends some tasteful nudes. Convo’s kind of hot. Gets to see iida’s dick.

Glasses boi drops suspicion for now. No way in hell frenchboi’s that damn good at sexting.

Blog is getting more popular within the school. Aoyama’s kinda scared.

Kouda hits him up. Wants sum fuck. Give it to him.

Insert convo from Mina. Very fun sexter, 10/10 will do again. Very pushy with finding out who V is.

Does another live show- has a huger audience. Ends with him writhing on the floor like mad.

Starts getting messages in the day time. Wtf, this isn’t his entire life… is it?

Mina blatantly asks Aoyama if he’s V in private.

“Why you ask?”

“Well, yours and his texting style is very similar.”

FUCK.

Mina takes his silence as a yes. Makes him eat her poom-poom for forgiveness. Also rides his dick. Ensures his secret is safe.

Deku and Uraraka is dating… HOORAY!

Receives more gifts. Also receives a shitload of messages he can’t keep up with.

Insert convo from Deku. Kinda wants to know who V really is too.

*sigh*

Admits that he is V.

Broccoli child wants a threeway.

……with Uraraka right?

“yes.”

Plans a threeway. Gets fucked in the ass and fucks zero gravity. Both ensures his secret his safe.

Iida’s suspicion arises again after seeing how the three interacts the next day.

Bakugou hits him up.

Another buttfuck session?

“No, I want your mouth this time.”

Uses frenchboi’s mouth like his personal fleshlight.

Insert convo from Kirishima. Very goofy and fun to sext. 10/10.

“Let’s meet!”

Jfc.

Is curious about his dickgame, so he can’t say no.

“You might be either surprised, disappointed, or both.”

“It’s cool, dude. You have such a cute body anyway, I’m sure you can’t be that bad.”

Fuck it.

Meets up with hard boi. Hard boi gets flustered.

“A-Aoyama?! I didn’t think you had it in you!”

Has sex.

Bakugou shows up.

Gets double-fucked.

Mina shows up.

Orgy.

Its one huge Aoyama-fest and frenchboi’s excited but terrified.

Is invited to fuck the bakusquad at any time now.

Frenchboi is exhausted and gives the blog a break.

A week goes by and his message board is in shambles.

Assures his audience that he still alive. Posts a video.

Insert convo with Momo. Shes ashamed she even came on here but V assures she is okay. Another heartwarming convo reveals that she’s not confident in herself. V makes her feel better. Momo develops a crush.

Those that know his secret starts putting a bit of respeckt on frenchboi’s name.

Kouda asks Aoyama out on a date. Kinda wants to say no but knows how much encouragement he had to muster to do it, so says yes.

Momo talks about meeting V.

“He’s so cute, I can imagine what it’d be like to meet him~.”

Mina and Uraraka burst into fits of giggles.

Insert convo with Todoroki. Very blunt and straight to the point, kind of a boring texter tbh. Innuendos seem to go right over his head. Manages to get him out his shell with a tasteful nude.

He likes that. Sends one right back. Frenchboi gets a boner. The talk is vanilla with a splash of cinnamon. Meh, 7/10. Todoroki admits he hasn’t done this before. How adorable.

More talk of V in the school. Its becoming a hot topic now. Teachers and staff are catching on.

Receives loads of gifts and money in the mail. Cant fit them all in his room so has to call his parents to store them in his room there. Parents are suspicious but doesn’t care enough to ask. Literally the source of his personal issues.

Insert convo with Tokoyami. Very emotionally charged conversation. Goth birb reveals he is depressed and has major self-esteem issues. So does V. The blog really is his life. V gives him words of encouragement. Tokoyami gracefully accepts and thanks him. Frenchboi realizes that Tokoyami’s actually… kinda cute? Interest in him peaks.

DATE WITH KOUDA. Goes to a petting zoo of course. Aoyama cant get the animals to come around him on his own, so Kouda uses his quirk to make it easier. Very, very sweet. Aoyama’s expecting to have to sleep with him, but Kouda’s alright with just a peck. Doesn’t promise too much, but Kouda really is a sweet, sweet boy.

Explodidicks shows up again. He’s jelly sandwich that frenchboi went on a date with Disney princess.

“but you liked V, not me?”

“STFU SPARKLE BITCH!”

Bakuhoe cant bring himself to ask him out, so he storms off like a baby bitch.

Frenchboi sees Tokoyami the next day, but friendship meter isn’t high enough to talk to him without giving himself away. Fuck.

Messages Tokoyami. Goth birb is surprised he messaged him first. Heartwarming convo leads to some hot stuff. Convinces goth birb to send a tasteful nude after some time. V compliments him like mad and flusters the birb.

More talk about V during the day. Most of the 1-A class are taking about how wonderful he is while others are skeptical. “Why just Class 1-A, hmm?”

Deku asks Aoyama about the blog in private. (Shouji overhears)

“Hey, how long do you plan on keeping this running? Aren’t you afraid you might be hurting your chances of positive press when becoming a pro hero?”

That;s a good question, but the answer isn’t so simple.

“Ne t’en fais pas, Deku-kun. I’ll be fine~”

No. be very worried.

Teachers and staff are beginning to believe the traitor is behind the blog and that its using it to find out personal information about the staff and students. Proceed investigation.

Shouji confronts Aoyama.

“so you’re V?”

Frenchboi admits it.

Tentacles ensures his secret his safe. “I’m just glad you’re helping Tokoyami out. But he’s gonna have to know who you are one day.”

Moral dilemma arises.

Gets message from Mina.

Bakusquad orgy? Bakusquad orgy.

Goes to Bakusquad orgy. Gets fucked by everyone there.

Bakugou gets in his feelings and starts getting possessive of frenchboi. Very aggressive with his love but will take versus getting Thanos’d.

Next day, Bakuhoe lowkey claiming croissant. Gets aggressive with Kouda. Kouda backs off and stops talking to frenchboi for a while. Poor thing…

Aoyama faces his fears and confronts bakuhoe for being a bakubitch.

Bakubitch is offended. Threatens to blow up frenchboi but Iida intervenes.

“This is none of your fucking business!”

Fight almost breaks out, but Aizawa intervenes. All three of them get suspended.

Iida contacts Aoyama during suspension. Asks what his relationship is between him and Bakugou.

Admits they’ve banged more than a few times. Accidently slips that they’ve spoken online beforehand.

“So, you’re V?”

“Oui.”

“AHA! I knew it!”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Your secret is safe with me, Aoyama-san!”

Iida’s secretly conflicted that he sent a dick pic and fapped to Aoyama, ngl.

Aoyama’s curious about Iida’s dick game, so he invites him over to his room for some play.

Glasses boi comes by, finds Croissant poised up in a school girl outfit looking cute af.

Hot sex ensues. Bakugou overhears it in passing.

Aoyama messages Kouda. Kouda responds. Says he really likes him but can’t do it anymore. Frenchboi feels horrible but won’t stop him.

Insert convo with Tokoyami. Lots and lots of flirting. Aoyama’s dying for Toko to ask about his identity, but the birb respects his anonymity way too much. Lets it ride. Sends pics to each other.

Suspension over.

Staff is pulling students one by one to question their relations to V. Aizawa makes an official announcement to be wary of V. Aoyama wants to fucking die.

Insert convo with Momo. Light flirting, confesses to V that she’s been thinking about him and wants to meet. Tells him that her school thinks he’s dangerous. V assures that he isn’t.

Insert convo with Deku. Deku’s concerned about frenchboi’s well-being and suggests he comes clean. Aoyama’s not ready to.

Insert convo with Bakugou.

Oh lord.

“So you’re gonna go and fuck Sonic the Nerdhog now!?”

“Bakugou, if you like me, just ask me out.”

“…”

Bakugou logs off for the night.

Insert convo from Tsuyu.

“Aoyama, I know its you, but I won’t rat you out.”

“Oh… okay, thank you? But why contact me from here?”

“Wellllllllll….”

Meets up with Tsuyu. Reveals that its spring and this is the time when her body’s ready to mate. Knew that Aoyama was an easy target. Take that how you will.

Oh yeah, frogs get busy in the spring.

Has sex.

+1 new fuckbuddy

Croissant goes to bed and realizes he’s been whoring himself like mad. Evaluates his life choices and realizes he’s literally addicted to the attention. Also realizes that his shit’s gonna slide out of his ass like butter if he doesn’t take it easy.

Declines offer for another Bakusquad orgy and gives the blog a rest for a while.

1-A is being investigated now. Tailman, Sugar Rush, Mineta, and Croissant are suspects.

Insert convo from Ojiro.

“Hey dude, I know this blog means a lot to you, but if you can show up in person and get these guys off our backs that’d mean a lot to us. Thanks~”

Damn… that’s one person that cannot know about his identity. Tells him he’s not in the country.

Is interested in Ojiro’s peen ngl. He got that martial artist bod afterall.

Coaxes tailboy into a conversation. Tailboy… aint really with the gay shit. Is a lot like Todoroki, but doesn’t even try to talk dirty. Jeez, is he really all that straight? 0/10

Sends a tasteful nude. Tries to get him to at least send his abs. Something.

“Fine.” Whatever it takes to get the staff from checking his internet history.

Send a pic of his torso, his pants are kinda low. OOF. DAT V LINE.

Talks a little bit more, then logs off.

Depression starts to settle in. His classmates are noticing him, but not for the right reasons. Deku notices. Iida notices. Uraraka notices. Tokoyami grows suspicious from his non-attentionwhoring ways.

Tokoyami approaches Aoyama for the first time.

Oh god, his palms are sweaty.

Knees weak, arms heavy… Mom’s spaghetti.

“Are you alright?”

“Oui, I’m okay.

“Are you sure? You don’t seem like yourself. I am a bit concerned.”

Aoyama comes clean. Tokoyami is surprised, but isn’t upset.

Spends the day comforting Aoyama. Even brings by moshi icecream. Very wholesome. Nothing flirty or anything, just bro stuff.

Toko compliments Aoyama on his ability to talk to people and suggests applying that offline as well- he’d be far more liked that way.

Frenchboi reveals that he initially made a regular blog to make friends because he often felt lonely at Yuuei but resorted to sex because of the lack of attention. Deku is his only legitimate friend here.

“Then let’s be friends as well.”

Aoyama cries. Hard. Very emotional moment.

He accepts it.

Aoyama writes on his blog that he’s not gonna be too active. People aren’t very happy, but they accept.

The folks in the know ask about his post last night. Keeps it cute and says he’s gonna take it easy for a bit. Deku and Toko smiles.

The staff of investigation notices the post and begins narrowing down the suspects.

Bakugou pulls Aoyama aside. He’s calm and collected- asks him if he’s okay.

Frenchboi nods, Bakuboi finally asks him on a date. He hesitantly accepts. Not sure why he’s so fixated on him, but cool I guess.

(Insert Bakusquad cheesing in the background)

Kouda summons the courage to talk to Aoyama again and apologizes for leaving him hanging. Frenchboi forgives him and accepts his friendship.

+1 Friendship

DATE WITH BAKUGOU. Indoor rock climbing! How cool is that!? Frenchboi is scared shitless, but Explosionboi knows what he’s doing. Bakugou is mainly quiet the entire time but is pretty sweet in gaining Frenchboi’s trust with the harnesses. Deep conversation reveals that Bakugou doesn’t have many friends either. Apologizes for being so pushy and inconsiderate. Admits he doesn’t handle his emotions well. Aoyama reveals personal info about his blog and his loneliness.

“You’re a fucking weirdo tbh, but you have a lot of balls.”

His way of complimenting him, I guess? Also advises him to stop being so fucking slutty before his ass becomes Stargate… or else.

Ooh, the irony.

Doesn’t sleep together, sweet peck on the forehead tho.

Tokoyami and Deku checks up on him.

Insert messages from Bakusquad telling him how much Bakugou enjoyed today. Also thanks Aoyama for being a friend through V.

Bakuboi probs told them about his dilemma, that little shit. He still felt loved nonetheless. Very wholesome.

Frenchboi comes into class the next day and… actually gets greeted? He tears up.

Bakugou calls him a faggot.

Gets called into the office after school.

It’s time.

They question him about the blog and its contents.

He comes clean.

Aizawa wants to expel the shit out of him but he technically did nothing wrong, so he stays.

Firmly asks him to delete the blog. Gets reprimanded for running a damn sex blog while training to be a public defender.

They agree to keep it under wraps, but Aizawa orders Aoyama to apologize to the class.

He does.

There’s a mixture of disgust, shock, and wonder.

The end.

TL;DR: tfw the blog that you think is singlehandedly tearing down your school is just the creation of a lonely 16-year old.

#aoyama yuuga #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fic #aoyama x everyone #fanfic #yaoi #lets make it happen

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theolddarkmachine · 8 years ago

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12 Days of ODM: Day 9

Dedicated to: @whereisthefood123

Prompt: Levy gives Gajeel his first headband.

AO3

I hope you like it.

Truth be told, Gajeel had loved the thin slip of crimson fabric Levy had given him that morning right before she slipped out to head to the guild for the day. He loved the silky feel of it against the roughened, callused palms, and he loved the raised stitching that created a zig zagging pattern across the band. Gajeel especially loved that it was damn near identical to the yellow headband Levy was partial to, the fabric a permanent fixture holding back her bangs and allowing the delicate planes of her face to catch the light.

The problem was, though he loved the piece of silk, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it.

WTF, you won the award for most obscure prompt lol I’m not gonna lie, when I got your message of “Can I ask for a prompt of ‘headband’” I was like I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I’M GONNA MAKE THIS WORTHY OF WTF. But after a minor panic, I freaking love this prompt. I also love that it gave me the opportunity to use a bunch of my pretty downloaded fonts :3 I hope you like it! Merry Christmas!

************************

I hope you like it.

The problem was, though he loved the piece of silk, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it.

The dragon slayer was a simple man. All he needed for his hair was shampoo, conditioner when he felt like treating himself, and the open air that would dry it. Tying it back with a headband had never been anything he’d ever considered, especially given he wasn’t even sure how to get it on over the wild mess to begin with.

Which, was how he’d ended up in their bathroom for the better part of an hour trying to work the over the unruly black locks, and only managing to get it around his forehead, the hair beneath it pushed upward into a shape that resembled something more like a deflated mushroom. An angry growl ripped from behind his teeth as he tugged the headband off and threw it at the mirror where it smacked right in the middle of his reflection before falling behind the faucet.

“God damn headband,” he moaned as he turned on his heel, walking out of the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him to further punctuate just how angry he was with the fabric for not cooperating with him. The clap of the door was deafening in the otherwise quiet home, the movement so violent that it shook the walls an shook the bookcase just to the right of the door, effectively knocking two books from their shelves. They fell with all the grace of a baby bird, soft thuds accompanying the inevitable crash as they hit the carpeted ground.

“God damn books,” Gajeel snarled as he leant down to pick them up, his annoyance spiking as it searched for anything else to focus on besides his failure to use Levy’s gift.

It really shouldn’t be this hard, he thought moodily as he scooped up the leather bound tomes that had fallen.

Band. Hair. Make Levy happy.

The steps were obvious, which only made it that much more annoying that he couldn’t seem to get the damn thing onto his head. He groaned again as he turned towards the bookshelf where the line of carefully placed books had fallen over without the help of their companions to keep them up. Much like with everything else she did, Levy had lovingly organized the texts on the shelves, using a system that only seemed to make perfect sense to her.

Gajeel had suspected what the dull throb growing behind his sternum had been, but it hadn’t been until he’d watched her as she stood in front of the wooden bookcase, a book in each hand and a small thoughtful smile on her pink lips as she pushed each onto specific slots on the shelves, that he confirmed it.

Love.

They’d only known each other for a year at that point, dating for just four, when he’d offered his place when she’d finally decided she couldn’t handle living with their guild mates anymore.

It will be convenient. Plus, we get along just fine, don’t we, Shrimp?

Since then, and since his revelation, Gajeel had kept the four letter word held close to his heart and trapped behind his teeth. It wasn’t that he doubted Levy’s feelings for him. His own reasons rested solely in the hands of his own abandonment issues. Everyone he’d ever loved left.

If he kept that to himself, then she couldn’t disappear as well.

Sighing loudly, Gajeel shook the stray thoughts from his mind as he looked over the shelf, trying desperately to pull the location for both books from the grain of the wood. It was as he searched the shelf for answers, something tucked behind the books caught his eye.

Sitting pressed into the furthest corner of the shelf, was a small square box made of cherry oak wood that he had never seen before. A zing of curiosity shot down to his fingertips, sending a tickle through the pads as he set the fallen books onto the next ledge up before reaching over the top of the books to grab it. The wood had been sanded to an almost velvet softness with vines and flowers carved into delicate patterns over the lid.

It had been beautifully crafted, the care in its making obvious with how fine the details were of the blossoms that folded lovingly as if they were truly alive. His fingers ghosted over the design, smoothing over the lines before they dragged a line down to the golden clasp that held the lid shut.

A small voice in his head admonished him for being nosey. Levy had clearly hidden the box for a reason. If he was a stronger man, he’d put it back where he’d found it, replace the books, and pretend he hadn’t ever seen the hidden box behind all of Levy’s favorite books.

He wasn’t a stronger man though, his hand moving to push the box open before he’d even realized he’d decided to open it. The lid lifted easily as the hinges gave a soft squeak from age, revealing a card on yellowing paper with cursive words painted over it in plum ink that simply said:

Carefully, Gajeel pulled the card from the box, his touch light as he pinched it between his thumb and forefingers. Setting down the box on top of the toppled books, he used his freed hand to open the folded paper, eyes scanning over the note on the inside.

His heart lurched in his chest, a seed of sorrow nestling deep in his gut as he read the words. Levy had mentioned once in passing that her parents had both died when she was young, leaving her to be raised by the guild, but she never got much further than that, and he never pushed her for details. Gajeel understood the kind of scar tissue that got left behind by the loss of family. He recognized the faraway look and the hollow tone she adopted the one time they’d been brought up, his own darkness reflecting back at him in the golden honey of her eyes.

Tearing his eyes from the slightly smudged ink of the card, he looked back at the box to see a photo resting at the bottom beside a single piece of folded yellow fabric. Gently placing the card on the shelf, Gajeel turned his attentions back to the picture, pulling it from the wood.

The photo showed a tall, blue haired man standing with his arm around a blonde woman who had a child balanced on her hip. She couldn’t have been more than five years old in the photo, sky blue hair sticking out in every which way with a single band of yellow holding her bangs out of her face as she smiled up at the parents that beamed brightly at the camera.

Levy’s family. Their happiness radiated from the photograph, captured forever within the card stock. Though she shared the same coloring as her father, she favored her mother. The woman’s smile was identical to the one he’d memorized, full of light and pulled just barely higher on the right side. He felt his heart squeeze as his gaze traced over the photo, matching the goldenrod in Levy’s hair to that of the fabric in the box.

He didn’t need to pull the silk from its wooden confines to know that it would be the same headband from the picture. Similar to the one that always rested in Levy’s sky colored locks, it must have been one of the last things she ever got from her parents before they died. A final, tangible piece of her parents’ love, tucked away with her books in the one place she could always keep it safe.

The sudden understanding of it all stole the breath from his lungs as he carefully tucked the photo and card back into the box.

I hope you like it.

Without his knowing, Levy had given him her love, wholly and completely sewn into the crimson fabric of the headband.

After setting the box back behind the books, he replaced the fallen texts on the shelf, effectively hiding her past away again before he turned back to the bathroom, a new resolve coursing through him as he grabbed the fabric from where it sat on the sink.

***

Levy was lost deep within the curling script of the foreign language, oblivious to the rest of the guild around her as she tried to work out the translation of a particularly tricky sentence, when a solid body dropped down into the bench next to her. Fire erupted deep in her stomach as a strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into a broad chest as a nose nuzzled into the hair behind her hair. She felt the featherlight touch of lips against her skin, just below the silk of her headband. The contact pulled a low purr from her throat as she pushed into the touch.

“Hey Gajeel,” she hummed, eyes still fixed on the words before her though her attention rested solely on the warmth of her boyfriend’s body.

“Hi, Lev,” he replied, the coolness of his breath raising goosebumps over her skin as it stirred the hair around her ear. “How’s it going?”

If Levy was being honest, it wasn’t going well. She couldn’t remember the last time a translation job had made her work so hard to find the answers. The challenge had been welcomed, but admittedly, her mind had been left behind with Gajeel and the headband she’d given him that morning. Though they’d been together for half a year now, she’d never felt as nervous with him as she had that morning handing him the simple gift for his birthday. He had no way of knowing just how much the circle of fabric meant to her, or how it was the easiest way she could think of to finally tell him the depth of her feelings for him, but she knew. That very knowledge had kept her mind a mile away, stuck in their house and hidden behind a shelf of books.

“It could be going better,” she admitted, sighing loudly as she slumped into his side. “It’s kicking my ass, actually.”

Gajeel’s quiet laughter vibrated through her as he kissed her again, this time pressing his lips to the top of the headband in her hair. He breathed in as he hummed before pulling away.

“So why don’t you take a break?” His voice was so deep and inviting, her own personal kryptonite that she couldn’t deny, no matter how badly she wished to prove she could figure out the text.

Well, it was just a break anyway.

Finally looking away from the book, Levy turned to face Gajeel, a small squeak of surprise escaping her as she took in his appearance. Stretched over his black hair, was the headband she’d given to him that morning. The crimson silk stood out against the onyx, its color almost the same garnet shade of his eyes as he smiled down at her.

“You’re wearing it.” Reaching up with a tentative hand, her fingers brushing over the fabric and the soft waves of Gajeel’s hair. Her dragon turned his nose into her wrist, his lips brushing over her pulse that ricocheted in her veins at the contact.

“Of course I am,” he said matter-of-factly, as if his wearing it had been as obvious as the sky being blue.

“I wasn’t sure you’d like it,” she said lowly as she dropped her hand into her lap. They both ignored the way her words wobbled slightly as she spoke, their endings watery. Gajeel’s arm tightened around her waist as he spoke.

“I love it.” His eyes danced with light as they searched her hazel ones, his lips quirking upwards as he chose his next words.

“I love you, Levy.”

Her heart paused in her chest before it began to race as the words began to spiral around her, wrapping her in their warm embrace as she rolled them around her mind.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Gajeel’s lips were pliant beneath hers as Levy surged forward, pressing their lips together, her arms anchoring her to him as they wrapped around his neck. Electricity buzzed down to her toes as he returned the pressure in the otherwise chaste kiss. Pulling away slightly, she rested her forehead against his, the fabric of the silk band soft against her skin.

“I love you too,” she whispered, barely getting the words out before Gajeel chased them away with another kiss, filled with nothing but an unsaid promise that was sweet on her tongue. Smiling into it, he pushed into it before pulling away, his eyes smoldering as he looked at her.

“Want to get out of here, Shrimp?”

All Levy could manage was a quick nod, her words lost to the continual hum of three other words.

I love you.

***

#gajevy #Gajeel Redfox #Levy McGarden #fairy tail #fairy tail fanfiction #12 days of odm #AAAAAH YEEEEES #I AM A BIG OL BOWL OF SOFT MASHED POTATOES BECAUSE OF THIS #I HOPE YOU ARE TOO #also peep all those fonts lol #i literally never used any of them until i did this prompt XDDDDD

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thebestplltheories · 7 years ago

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My TOP 10 episodes in all of television - spoiler free!

1. How To Get Away With Murder: Season 4, Episode 8 - Live. Live. Live

On the edge of my seat from start to end, this episode was extremely satisfying as we finally learnt what happened that night. One “what the actual fuck?” moment after the other, there is no better adjective to describe the story than ‘exciting’. Having just spent a season trying to prove that they are good people trying to move on from tangled murders, it was beyond juicy to see their lives unintentionally take a U-turn down Old Habits Road, even when their intentions were good. The writing needs to be commended in this episode not just for the witty and snappy dialogue, but for the actual intellect of the writers to think of stories of this caliber. The way the events unfolded that night were insanely satisfying and beyond my theory-brain’s ability to have ever imagined, yet, still managed to make me say “of course!” once revealed. Topped with EMMY-worthy acting from more than just the sensational lead Viola, the pure creativity and ingenuity of this episode left me feeling like these television writers could get away with murder.

2. How To Get Away With Murder: Season 4, Episode 9 - He’s Dead.

The perfect follow up to the perfect finale. This episode flowed from the previous so well that if we eliminated the “previously on”, the two episodes can stand alone as a mini movie revolving around one never-ending messed up night. The roller coaster doesn’t slow down, actually, it speeds up, which was a shock as I thought it was already going full speed. Seeing the characters fall deeper into the rabbit hole of their old habits, and then trying to dig themselves out, was entertainment at its best. Just because there were not as many “what the actual fuck?” moments as the previous episode, there were still plenty sighs of relief, grunts of anger, and throwing of the hands in the hair. The episode was very fast paced with lots of complicated stories occurring simultaneously, and successfully keeping up with them all felt like a reward in itself.

3. Pretty Little Liars: Season 7, Episode 20 - Til Death Do Us Part

Although this episode was generally not well received by most PLL veterans, I can only love this episode as it was essentially an on-screen adaptation of my written theories I made leading up to the episode. It was beyond satisfying to see that I had successfully theorised, almost to a tee, the series ending to a show that will forever be in my heart. The execution lacked, specifically in intensity and any sense of danger, however the overall story being told was very detailed and mostly clever - certainly free of plot holes, which was impressive given the convoluted state of the series at the time. The story was by no means flawless as the writers certainly missed easy opportunities to go out with a louder bang, however, after the difficult mental task of setting aside all the thoughts of what could have been, the episode can be perfectly summarised as satisfying and bittersweet. I think I will forever remember this day. June 27, 2017. It was an unforgettable experience.

4. How To Get Away With Murder: Season 2, Episode 9 - What Did We Do?

This episode elevated the show to a level I never knew it was reaching for. Other finales of this show had me screaming WTF out of pure disbelief and shock, however this finale had me screaming WTF out of disturbance - I was genuinely bothered, and made to feel uncomfortable, at the methods they used to get away with murder. This episode features one of the most iconic scenes of the entire series to date, which, if this episode had aired prior to the EMMYs, would have made Viola Davis the no-brainer winner (if she wasn’t at the time). As if the finale wasn’t gripping enough, it ended with a scene that was like a superfluous yet delicious cherry on top. The final scene redefined everything we thought we knew about two major characters and the episode overall was twisted and exciting to say the least.

5. Pretty Little Liars: Season 7, Episode 19 - Farewell, My Lovely.

The penultimate episode to the loveable series can be summarised with one word: satisfying. Unusual for this show, so much action and plot progression was perfectly fit into one episode. Further, the show finally reached my desirable ratio of mystery to romance: all mystery and no romance. An impressive amount of story was wrapped up, answering enough questions to begin the series finale without an immensely overwhelming amount of content to sort through. Whilst the answers themselves weren’t overly shocking, actually, some fan theories were more exciting than what the writers delivered, the story that was provided was undebatably logical and cohesive which made it tough to argue with. Unfortunately the writers missed a great opportunity to name-drop the show. “You’re not criminals. Not really.” Insert here: “You’re just a bunch of pretty little liars”. Whilst it would appear corny in that moment of first viewing, those feelings undoubtedly would pass with time and it would have been iconic in Pretty Little Liars history. Nonetheless, the penultimate episode served its purpose very well: it set up the series finale by answering questions that were not worth dwindling on for one more second.

6. The Fosters: Season 5, Episode 1 - Resist

Bone chilling. My goosebumps had goosebumps as I watch a mother race to find her daughter who is being held captive by a group of rapists - an action packed, nail biting story I would’ve never envisioned back at the show’s conception five years ago. Watching Callie value her friend’s lives more than her own, is upsetting but admirable, and the passion of the students protesting against the privatisation of their school that they are so proud of, is nothing short of beautiful. Leave it to The Fosters to make you feel what the characters feel, even when the character’s experiences are un-relatable. I for one, have never faced the problem of school privatisation, or, touch wood, rape. But the emotions are so raw and expertly crafted through the lens of the camera that it’s actually impossible to not feel for the characters.

7. The Fosters: Season 5, Episode 10 - Sanctuary

I’m not easy to crack, but this episode marked the first time I actually shed a tear or two of pure happiness at a television show. Trust The Fosters to pull on your heart strings. The episode deals with an immigrant who is wanted because her DACA status is pending, and the lengths that her friends go to to help her stay in the country she was raised in and calls home. It was somewhat surreal to reflect on what the show had now become: no longer is this show about a girl who wants to be adopted by a family. This is about a girl who constantly walks on fire for her friends and expects nothing in return. Police are involved, and stakes are higher than ever. The episode preached a message that isn’t said loud enough, and is one that any television-lover can watch regardless of their history (or non-existent history) with The Fosters. Whilst the juicy parts of the episode co-existed amongst a lot of romance filler which I do not care too much for, the story was so important to tell, and was told so damn well, that on this rare occasion, I was able to forgive and oversee the filler.

8. Riverdale: Season 1, Episode 12 - Anatomy of a Murder

Bombshell after bombshell, this episode surprised me not just in terms of the story’s reveals, but also the reveal that the writers want this to be a twisted thriller series. So much happened in a short time span yet it never felt overly condensed. It moved at an impressive pace that comfortably told the story in enough depth. This had everything a mystery show needs in its big important episodes: family drama, a death, alternative suspects gained or freed, the reveal of the true killer’s identity, impressive acting, another death, and a cliff hanger (literally, wink wink). It’s clear the writers gave this everything. All of this occurred in a visually stunning episode; beautiful and grand sets, vibrant and punchy colours, and powerful camera perspectives. This episode definitely could’ve proudly served as the season finale and actually, is my benchmark I use to compare all other Riverdale episodes, whereby this is what a ten out of ten looks like.

9. Supergirl: Season 2, Episode 22 - Nevertheless, She Persisted.

Excuse the cliche, but never judge a book by its cover. I never would’ve thought, ever, that a superhero show will make me feel more than just excitement at the action-packed dangerous story lines: this episode made me feel heartbreak, sorrow, shock, fear, disbelief and joy. Ruling out superhero shows because you’re not into fantasy and super-powers, is a silly move, since this episode proved yet again that Supergirl is grounded in reality, and the powers and super villains are just extra for the sake of fun. The emotions Kara goes through are human and relatable, and the emotions Supergirl goes through are still relatable, but you must dig to find the underlying meaning rather than take the red cape for face value. This episode flows so perfectly from the previous episode, Resist, that they could both pass as a two-hour movie. I struggled to decide which episode to place on this list however I ultimately decided to place this one because of its slightly higher stakes.

10. The Fosters: Season 4, Episode 1 - Potential Energy

Here The Fosters tackles the prominent issue of school shootings. It was captured in a way that sent chills down my spine, and I thanked God that I never experienced anything like that, and, honest to God, said a prayer that night that this madness stops. The brilliance of the episode is that it emphasised the shooter’s perspective too in a way that obviously didn’t justify the decision to bring a gun to school, but instead showed a range of variables that can lead someone to do this - therefore sparking conversations to potentially avoid such horror and danger. As with every single episode of The Fosters, it is simply a joy to watch Stef and Lena show their love for their kids and this episode in particular, when their lives are at risk, was heightened for the show and a damn joy to watch.

#top 10 TV episodes #top 10 #personal to me #I watch a lot more shows than listed here!!!#but these are the ones that are closest to me of the numerous episodes ive ever seen #this took a lot longer than i thought to put together #TV #television

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thatshighlyoffensive · 7 years ago

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That’s Highly Offensive: 2018 Golden Globes

Y’all know I only wear all black all the time, so I find the fact that Hollywood is "uniting" against whatever tonight by wearing all black to be kind of a stupid way to pussy foot around the issue, but who asked me? This should have been a night when the carpet looked the way I think it should at all times, but honestly, a lot of stuff looked makeshift and cheap to me. And WHAT was with all the skirts-over-pants nonsense?? I thought that was over. Also, forgive the overuse of the funeral garb schtick but what choice did I have?

Wow. It's rare that the first look I see ends up being the worst dressed of the night, but Debra Messing has just taken the cake, eaten it, made another cake, eaten that, made another one, and took that too. I know it's cliché but MESSing says it all. #thefacesofmeth That emerald eyeshadow and those Elvira for Family Dollar false lashes!! And WHAT is that dent in her forehead?? I’ll tell you what it is… bad Botox. Or Juvaderm. Or whatever expired baby bunny cartilage her dermo found in Karen Walker’s dumpster. Oh and also, she’s wearing the dress version of Liza’s putty kkk hood shoes and it’s all HIGHLY offensive.

Kelly Clarkson- "From Justin to King Midas" if King Midas was a lizard...

Kristin Cavallari went as 1999 Oscars Angelina Jolie but with a ballerina's bun and I'm not ok with it.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about Tracee Ellis Ross’s outfit. The phrase ‘Charmin Noir’ comes to mind, but let’s not bc you know how much I love a turban/wrap!

Meryl Streep: You bore me to tears. I like your glasses.

It seems to be literally KILLING Giuliana Rancid that she can’t ask “Who are you wearing?” bc she is incapable of NOT pointing out the fact that she’s not asking that question to every person she's interviewed. And as always, she looks like the Queen from Antz but this year her skin is a particularly orange shade of Oscar Meyer all beef frank. She also has one of the most bulbous horse hair dino ponytails I’ve ever seen. She's like the anorexic version of Starla from Napoleon Dynamite. AND HER TAN LINES! I didn't know you got those from bottled self tanner...

Catherine Zeta Jones: I am still obsessed with CZJ even after recently rewatching Ocean’s Twelve for the first time since Cat and I fell asleep in the theater. Her face, her body, her dress, her earrings, her love for her thousand year old father in law… I am fully behind all of it!

Penelope Cruz: See above. #stunning

I don't know who this woman from Outlander is but I do know she better be on her way to audition at Tweetsie Railroad.

Connie Britton: NO.

Jessica Biel and J. Tim- don’t NO ONE CARE. I don’t know one person who watched ‘The Sinner’ (most people didn’t even know what I was talking about when I asked if they’d heard of it), so the fact that she is nominated is a testament to that Sexy Back money and nothing more. Just her talking about being a producer of the show is like… We get it…you’re the only one who would pay you to be an actress anymore. PS, your arms are fabulous.

Mandy Candy Moore: Olé!

Holy shit Diane Kruger looks amazing.

Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson is one of those I feel looks like she's in something cheap. Really cheap. Like she stole a leotard from the Xanadu Mourning collection and wrapped a table cloth around herself. And I can't say I love the choppiness of her bob.

Michele Williams- I’m still not over how ridiculous you looked on Dawson’s Creek, but your pixie has grown on me over the last few years but OHMYGOD what is that shelf in the back? Lloyd Christmas called…

Seth Myers looks like the singing sword and a foot had a baby and named it Cheremy.

Jamie Chung- First of all, why are you here? Secondly, you look like the winner of a ‘Grunge Bride’ themed stripper contest sponsored by Hefty in 2002. Those shoes….

Alexis Bledel- Let’s get this out of the way: I can’t stand you. You’re a mumbler with creepy Kewpie doll eyes and mouth. But as for what you’re wearing, GASP you’re not wearing solid black so you obviously don’t care about women!! But also, you must not care about yourself either because you look like one of Ariel’s sisters and Dionysus had a baby and it came out haunted.

Why is Dave Franco wearing so much rouge????

Alison Brie- Ok, you can channel Audrey Hepburn, I guess. Although her dress does resemble my senior prom dress from Cache. Oh wait- there’s a pants leg. You’re trash.

William H. Macy: Did Grubby die? That’s the only reason I can think of for Teddy Ruxpin to show up to the Golden Globes in all black…

Gal Gadot is clearly going to an audition for "A Chorus Line" after the Globes. Why else would she steal a maitre'd's jacket and cut it in half?

Saoirse Ronan looks perfect all around. I need all of it immediately, even though I’d look more like Bruce Villanche dressed in drag doing a David Bowie tribute than her svelte awesomeness…

Eva Longoria looks like a pregnant Sharpie.

It took me a solid 3 seconds & a glance at the caption to figure out I was looking at Halle Berry and not some mixed berry bag of Skittles from a prom themed episode of the CW’s Gossip Girl revival. And her bangs look gross and ridiculous. #whywontsheage??

I take it back: Reese Witherspoon looks like the pregnant Sharpie. Or maybe her daughter has decided to become a fashion designer and this was her first foray into an origami—inspired collection? #blacktobasics

Nicole Kidman (or Nicky Kickin it in the Moulin Rouge, as Jack McFarland calls her) looks flawless, as always. The one negative thing I will say is that I find flutter fly cap sleeves to be among the most offensive things in adult female fashion (mainly because the only humans that can pull them off are pre-teens, anorexics and Kate Moss (not that she’d ever wear them).

Viola Davis wins everything. Omg that hair and makeup and jewelry and dress. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Did Zac-without-a-K Efron want people to mistake him for Milo Ventimiglia? Is that the reason for the mustache? Why is he even there? GASP! Are they already remaking High School Musical (because you know that’s in the works…) with him starring as Troy again?!? #prayerhands

Why exactly is Naomi Campbell at the Golden Globes, must less in a piece from the never-to-be-seen sketches Vivienne Westwood did for Guy Richie’s new pandering remake starring Madonna as Herlock Holmes?

Lily James- You are gorgeous perfection and I mean that because anyone that stars in a live action Disney remake is automatically on my shit list (I’m looking at you, Emmas Stone and Watson…) but what the actual hell are you wearing? You look like a Project Runway contestant’s submission on the theme “Maleficent’s entrance to the party.”

Octavia Spencer looks like the teacher who got to play Glinda’s role in a #metoo fundraising, high school production of Wicked after the lead was stricken with mono.

Greta Gerwig- I’m tempted to allow it, but only if you’re intentionally channeling Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Angelina Jolie- oh. my. god. I know I’m biased (as one of her long lost, adopted children she’s never acknowledged or heard of) but I cannot say one bad thing about this, especially since I’ve been in 100% Bombshell Manual mode lately and anything with feathers or frills or femininity is giving me LIFE. #bestdressed

Elizabeth Moss: from Polly to Pollyana. Anyone that gets that is my lifelong friend and anyone that doesn’t please never talk to me again. But seriously honey, that waistline is not your friend.

Jessica Chastain- I think I love everything about this but am i crazy or does it make her look a little bulky? Tell me I’m crazy. I’m crazy. (Narrator: She was definitely crazy.)

omg Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing the same Castle Greyskull, droopy-sleeve of wizard-vagine garment as Debra Messing! Is this a thing?? Gross. And those earrings are stupid too but I don’t know why.

Emilia Clarke is perfection (minus the bow but moving on) and I don’t even love GOT.

Geena Davis stole one of CZJ’S costumes from Chicago and i can’t say that I’m angry. I will say that I’m angry that the head designer at LOFT got hold of it and added a few of those filthy lace panels before she walked the red carpet, but since she still looks pretty flawless…I’LL ALLOW IT.

As always, Lena Headey looks like the drunk, badass aunt who was a groupie before falling into acting so I love her even more than when she gets drunk and sets people on fire on tv. The dress does look like something a goth would make to wear to a Renaissance fair, but who cares when she looks that cool in it?

I love Margot Robbie more than almost anyone in Hollywood today (even though she stole my life’s dream of playing Tonya Harding. Seriously, I’d started writing a short right before they announced that movie and I’m not even kidding), but I can’t say i know exactly what she was going for with this look… an Elsa-possessed mistletoe over her womb to subtly announce she’s expecting? A tribute to the portion of Fantasia where fairies ice skate to ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ as a nod to the ice goddess she plays in ‘I, Tonya?’ I’ve been staring at it for a few minutes now and can honestly say I have no clue.

Gwendolyn Christie- I have no idea what you are wearing but I do know that I am obsessed with your GOT character so you have my permission to do whatever you please.

Kerry Washington unfortunately looks like some anorexic basic at her junior prom. And those floral net booties are what a leprechaun wears to a funeral. wtf. Oh but her hair is on point.

Kate Hudson- Je refuse.

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong even in a suit made from a brocade table cloth and VELVETEEN shoes so don’t even worry about it, honey.

Michelle Pfeiffer- omg i am heartbroken over how matronly you look!! As anyone who knows me knows, my mother could pass as your identical twin, so I take it kind of personally when you show up on the red carpet dressed as Marian the librarian’s widowed sister, Ovarian.

Zoe Kravtiz- Sweetie, it’s already been done and its name was Natalie Portman. A chunky, funky emerald earring does make you look like Audrey Hepburn's edgy cousin though. Whatever- you still look gorgeous and I love you.

Kendall Jenner- There are so many things wrong with your look, much less your existence, but I’ll just sum it up with this: T. STRAPPED. POINTY. TOED. SHOES. Also, lay off the brow botox before you look like Debra Messing, or worse, Kylie Jenner. #gasp

Sarah Jessica Parker literally went as her character from Hocus Pocus attending a funeral.

Isabelle Huppert wins the night! Nope, spoke too soon. Her dress has those damned flutter sleeves on it too! What IS that? It’s trash, is what it is…

Roseanne Barr forgot to put a dress over her Spanx…

Ok, that's all I got. I barely watched any of the actual show bc I can't with most of those self important a-holes, so I can't comment on anything "exciting" or "interesting" that might have happened. Let me know if I missed anything highly offensive🥂

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wildishmazz · 5 years ago

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Et In Arcadia, Ego (2/2)

Well, that was a mixed bag. There's a huge amount of loose ends left to be tied up by beta canon, which, while I'm sure they will, I don't think alpha canon should be dependent on.

I love how much that looks like the Columbia ident. Does “relic” not make anyone think of “Relics”? Have to wonder, seriously, if Ramdha was wrong about Soji being the one who is The Destroyer. Mmkay so we’re considering the Irumodic Syndrome, that Data loved his daughter, Laris and Zhaban, Ramdha, Will Riker, Oh, Jana and Beautiful Flower(have we seen his twin? Looks like Keanu Reeves), and everyone we met last week. But not Spot 2.0. Aw. Swimming cube, weird. Subtle reference to fluidic space? Oh, hey, dickhead. That.. looked like Jurati tending to the xBs. Is her stand-in doing double duty as an extra? Oh, hey, Cersei. That was humanising. Well. Romulising? You know what I mean. Made her sympathetic. Again with the Being Human-esque dialogue. Which is, I think, faintly ironic. Eyes down, do not look for the guest star credit… So the Romulannisters are hiding out on the cube, unobserved? I guess that’s no less believable than Romulegolas doing the same. I’ve almost got whiplash from the speed at which she switched from chewing the scenery to playing a faceted, complex, sympathetic antagonist who maybe isn’t even an antagonist any more, let alone a villain. That device will kill them, won’t it? Or, at least, it’ll be intended to, and maybe they’ll turn it on the synths. “I know that sound. That’s someone banging on the door.” You don’t have much time, but you had time to get matching outfits? “This really is a remarkable sacrifice on your part” Look, I know Brent Spiner is a better actor than to play Lore again by accident. I am enjoying almost everyone’s interactions so far. Oh hey, Elnor, nice to see you. Nice to also finally hear someone respond to “choose to live” with “yes, actually, I think I will” *squelch* ew. Buckle up kids, we’re going to hear some exposition. The sky cracking. That’s in the title sequence. The fascinating thing about history is that it’s always written by the victors. *fingers crossed* SelaSelaSelaSela? Offer them something they’ll find irresistible. My god, they’ve made football HELP Star Trek? Why would Saga’s eye open that door? He’s not all there right now… Wait… Dr. A.I. didn’t know? He’s onside now? That’s actually disappointing… OOF Ubersynth. Ubermensch. K, nice Picard speech, but I’m not sure now is precisely the time… And suddenly, he looks younger. Off switch. Oh. He was playing Lore by accident. Or as a misdirect. “One impossible thing at a time” - that was someone’s catchphrase on Discovery, wasn’t it? “I seriously doubt that.” because you are sensible, Seven, and have a healthy amount of distrust. “They wouldn’t happen to be Starfleet, would they?” Not with that music, no. How do the orchids know La Sirena is a friend? Oh shit, greenblooded hobgoblin Cersei knows personal information. That felt tacked on. She shouldn’t be dead so early. That felt as truncated as Hugh. No, it was the Stargazer- I say, out loud, in time with Picard. Oh, that’s - that’s horrifying. K, how are you going to do that, JL? Yeah, now they’re calling her General. No Sela. Boo. I like her sleeves. Ah, shit. We’re halfway through. I’m getting a little antsy. Woop woop, Riker’s here! The toughest, fastest, most powerful ship Starfleet has ever out into service… and it isn’t called Enterprise? Tal Shiar? I think she rather outranks them, so that’s a pretty decent insult. Meanwhile the synths are all like wtf, mate? K, for a second there, with the lighting, I thought he was Sisko. Bad time for a brain aneurysm. Not that there’s ever a good time, I guess. Get him the paracetamol, Aggie. *insert shot from Generations here* Yet again, I ask - why did Dahj automatically trust Picard, but Soji doesn’t? Sure would be useful right now. And who even programmed that into her? Too late. Uh… should have been too late, the gribbly thing made its own wormhole. They didn’t open the door, they just called for it. Don’t go, Riker, that’s a huge mistake this early… All Good Things. Sweetie, you said “fuck” once before, you can say something stronger than “damn it” now. Unless the point is to be classic Starfleet to make him comfortable? Rushed, it’s all so rushed. Plotwise, that could have all been done without the Romulan and Federation fleets. They didn't really contribute anything. What's Arcana doing in the back of that shot? Looks like they trimmed it down and didn't quite manage to fully edit her out. Come on, then, get him into that golem. (ad break) You gonna bury him in a shallow grave and heap a cairn of rocks on top? Once again, the residual traces seem to show a Borg plot that was almost completely cut. Please, PLEASE, no comphet with these two. He automatically reveres her, which is only right and proper, but he doesn’t deserve her. He hasn’t done anything to get her attention. I mean, sure, they LOOK perfect together, they’re two of a kind, but it’s far too sk8er boi. Still got 15 minutes, though. I think I recognise those hills and scrubland from Episodes. Elnor does not strike me as the kind to have trouble letting his emotions out. Absolute candour, and all that. Q? Data. Yay. Massively complex, but none of the textures have loaded. Except the fire. Hey, they’ve fixed his hairline. Worked for over 15 years. Cunning choice of lighting, of course. Allows for careful and successful CGI. Like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Y’know, it would make sense for Data to be a cat. Yellow eyes, and all. I didn’t want A.I. Soong to be a good guy. I wanted him to be Lore. Terminate his consciousness? I guess it’s boring in there. Very Pleasantville. Mortality gives meaning to human life. Someone’s been watching The Good Place. Data, you could just… go with him. Have both of you in the one body for a while. Oof, DESTROYING Gene’s vision! That zipper was incredibly prominent! “Artificial” and “not real” are not synonyms. But you didn’t make him any younger, I see. Then again, remembering Rascals(no, we can’t forget it and actually it's not that bad an episode), he didn’t WANT to be younger. So was the new body actually intended for Data? Ey, terrible old age makeup on Brent Spiner. Callback. *gleeful wriggling* Their shipname is Saffi and no I will not be taking any questions at this time And though there's no more lead up to or foreshadowing for this relationship than there was for any potential for one with Rios, I do like it better, and yes, because it's queer representation. And it doesn't look like it's come out of nowhere, because they've only apparently got to the hand-holding stage. Cutting it mighty fine for a cliffhanger. Engage. No cliffhanger. What happened to Narek? Last we saw of him was him getting hustled away from the patio by the synths.

So much to be mopped up by beta canon. What of the new, intact, active Borg drone with more than a passing resemblance to Picard who they showed us several times and then dropped like a Romulannister off a high platform? What of Spot 2.0, surely he’s the ship’s cat now and sleeps on Elnor? What of the xBs? Laris and Zhaban? The gribbly monster that started to come into their universe, then politely retreated again when its invitation was withdrawn? What was the meaning of the five Queen of Hearts cards? What was Dunkirkesque about the Romulan evacuation? Who was behind Dahj and Soji's mother AI? Is Jurati going to face any sort of consequence at all for killing Maddox, even though the Tal Shiar/Zhat Vash were behind it? Who was the latest synth body supposed to be for, since it had no physical advantages over a regular human? Who is the Romulan Queen Hugh mentioned? Can we please have explicit, spoken confirmation that Seven is queer? What about Raffi's son and daughter-in-law, and granddaughter? What did the faceless botanist in Soji's dream look like? Can we please address the fact that the Zhat Vash were right? Why were nameless xBs namechecking Locutus so prominently as to warrant giving their actors a bonus for speaking lines? What of the Borg? Like, just generally? Does Seven's hair ever dry? Will she get another ship? Why did Narissa call Seven "a disgusting half-meat", insulting her organic part, not her synthetic components(I really resent her being drop-kicked into the water now, I want followup on that)?

Well, to be fair, it was the first season of a Star Trek series. And it wasn't bad, just a bit unsatisfying. It's almost bound to find its feet after this, and maybe they'll go back and tie up some loose ends in the future.

#Star Trek: Picard #Star Trek: Picard spoilers #Picard spoilers #Star Trek: Picard S01E10 #Et in Arcadia Ego #Seven/Raffi #Saffi #get it #it's a pun

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