#like nothing technically wrong with it…just so insufferable

[ultravioletbrit]

“loathe” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 485 words

“sledding” - 25 Days of Jegumas - Day 15 - @noblehouseofgay

“Please?” James asks.

“No.” Regulus tells him bluntly, not looking up from his book.  

“But… please?” James is begging.

“James. No.” Regulus says firmly.

“But… but… Reg!!” Now James is whining. “Everyone already has someone, and I’ll be all by myself.” He pouts a little petulantly.  

“I didn’t know you needed two people for sledding, Potter.” Regulus deadpans. “You just sit on the thing and roll down a hill. Seems very doable with one idiot. You don’t need me.”

James huffs. “First, you don’t roll down a hill on a thing. That’s kind of the point. You’re on a sled and you slide down the hill.” James holds his arm out and slides his other hand down it, apparently mimicking a sled on a hill. “Second, I guess, maybe, technically you don’t need two people. But everyone else will have two people which not only means their sleds will go faster, which makes it so much more fun. But also… I’ll be all by myself.” James pouts, but he does genuinely sound sad. Regulus keeps his eyes firmly on his book. He will not cave.  

“James.” Regulus starts slowly. “I don’t like to be cold. I don’t like to be wet. I don’t like the snow. I highly doubt I will like sledding.”  

“But you love me.” James says sweetly. And Regulus makes a catastrophic mistake. He looks up. He looks up into those beautiful, hazel, puppy-dog eyes… and he caves.  

-------

Regulus is on a sled with James, speeding down a hill and he hates to admit, it is a little fun. That is, until they reach the bottom of the hill and James steers the sled the wrong way and they end up sledding right into a snowbank.

James is laughing uncontrollably as he climbs off the sled and tries to help Regulus up, but Regulus bats his hand away and stands up on his own.  

Regulus is obviously covered in snow. It’s clumping in his curls and seeping through his clothes. He’s cold and he’s wet, and he thinks he might genuinely murder James right now, because James is cackling. Regulus sends him a murderous glare that obviously does nothing except make him laugh harder.   

“I loathe you” Regulus hisses and James snorts, attempting to cover another chuckle.

“I loathe the snow. I loathe the cold. I loathe sledding.” Regulus is taking measured steps towards James. “I loathe you and your very existence. I loathe it all.” He stops in front of James trying to sound infuriated and not like he’s pouting. “I hate you. I mean it this time, Potter.” He’s pouting a little. But James still pulls his lips between his teeth and nods his head quickly, doing his best to look appropriately scolded. “Stop laughing. You are insufferable!” He pushes James down into the snowbank and that does it, James bursts into hysterical laughter. “Ugh. You are so lucky I love you.” Regulus tells him as he stomps away.

[chastiefoul]

valentines gone wrong ft. childe, scara, and neuvilette

a/n: yes. you read that right valentines work on september!! this is just something random i wanna write one day when i'm lying down and ofc i can't wait until february next year (also how is it alr almost 2 months since i posted something???) tags: just fluff, light-read, and everything in-between, modern au (?) just don't think too much abt it hehe - summary: it's valentines and of course you have plans to give sweets to your lover. however because one thing and another, you had to entrust it to someone else in hope it will be handed safely to them. what happened when it didn't?

childe

you went home excited, anticipating his reaction to your handmade sweets, however what greets you at the door was a sulky childe, who avoided eye contact as if his life depended on it as he limits himself to a a sentence everytime you ask him something.

“something happened today, babe?” you asked him worriedly, the chocolate was the back of your mind seeing the state of your boyfriend in. “oh something definitely should have happened,” he quipped, his lower mouth sticking out slightly. “that sounds like a dig at me, did i forgot something?” you asked as you follow his gaze to what he thought must be the most interesting flower vase ever. he shrugged, refusing to give you more.

frustrated by his rejection to tell you what’s wrong, you held his face with both of your palm, turning his face to yours. although the move met no resistance, childe still refused to look at you in the eyes and only now his childish grumbles turned into such a sad expression.

“baby? please tell me what i did,” you were gentle with it, rubbing your thumb below his eyes. “...late.”

“what?”

“chocolate. where’s mine? i saw you gave your friends one so i don’t think im crazy to expect one too, especially as your boyfriend.” he pouted and you swore it looked so adorable and so out-of-character of him that you wanted to kiss him—wait.

“huh? but i did give you one!” you claimed, confusion rose inside you. “huh? but i didn’t get it...” childe’s face matched your expression. “well technically i gave it to scara to give it to you.. did he not... give it to you?”

“i wouldn’t be this insufferable if i got one, you know that, but no he didn’t say anything—and also really babe? scara? the guy who hates and made fun of me every chance he got?” he crossed his arm, raising an eyebrow, as he questioned your questionable decision-making. “hey give me a break, i was in a rush there thinking i couldn’t give you the chocolate in time. and he made me say please three times before he said he would consider doing it-oh i see how i was wrong there.” your line of ramble humbled you, the silence was loud.

“maybe he just put it in your bag or something?” you offered. “you really think he’s someone who’d do that?” he asked. “in desperate times i’d give even scara the benefit of the doubt,” you stated, opening childe’s bag. and there it was, put nicely at the very top, your chocolate for your lover.

you smiled, for all the shit-talk scara gave everyone on a daily basis you knew you could count on him. “see? i knew he’s actually a big softie for stuff like this.”

childe practically runs to your side. “my chocolate? aw babe so you really didn’t forget me!” he peppered kisses all over your face, then clasping the sweet to his chest like it’s a new-born baby. “of course i’d never. but maybe next year i’ll just give it directly to you.”

“yeah? please do, today’s event just wasn’t great for my heart.”

neuvilette

“welcome home, dear.” you greeted him cheerily as he just arrived home. it was quite late, and you had entrust the chocolate you were supposed to give to him at a reasonable hour so he could enjoy it instead of giving it to him at home.

he kissed your temple in return, a smile you’re still head over heels for on his lips. but it doesnt quite reach his eyes. 

“what’s wrong?” you asked carefully. “nothing is wrong,” he replied, somehow looking nervous. “yet it’s strange for you to be looking so fidgety. tell me?”

“well,” he paused a little, stroking your hair as he pondered the best way to approach the sentence he’s about to say. “i saw you today giving chocolates to navia and wriothesley.. i couldn’t talk to you because i was in a rush to deal with an urgent case,” he said, not looking at you on the eyes. “oh, did that bother you? it’s just they’re such good friends of mine and it’s only friendship cookies-“

“no, dear of course not. i know you’re a loving person who always appreciate those around you, it’s just..”

“just?”

neuvilette looked like he didn’t hear the rest of the words after that you did make some for the white-haired male. a smile bloomed on his face as he shook his head. “no problem i will ask them about it tomorrow. i’m just delighted you kept me in your thoughts.” a gentle expression was loyal on his features. “well of course neuvillete, you hardly ever leave my thoughts, don’t you know?” he chuckled. “i’m familiar with that you see, considering you never leave mine as well.”

the next sentence was almost audible as he spoke. “do i not get one..?” he asked ever so softly sounding a little sad, his calloused hand ran across your arm, tracing along your vein as it touched your fingers and you're sure there's something wrong in your head because all you could think about that second was how adorable the usual charismatic man was being. yet you held your smile.

“of course you do! did it not reach you? i asked the guard in front of your door because i afraid i’d bother you at work hours. sorry neuvilette, i promised i made some for you, and i was so proud of it too...”

scara

“no i’m not.” he said, with the worst frown you’ve seen on him for a while and that’s saying a lot.

“you’re definitely sulking,” you said. “shut up,” he grumbled. “hey i was supposed to be one who’s doing the sulking. we’re nearing the end of the day and you haven’t even mentioned about the chocolate i gave you today!” you retorted out of frustration but most of all confusion because you had no idea what made your lover fall into such a bad mood.

“what.”

“what?”

“say that again,” scara said, “that i gave you chocolate?” you asked. “no you didn’t, you liar!” he complained, his frown deepened if that’s even possible. “wait what? i swear i asked childe to give it to you earlier today! i was ambushed by customers today at the shop so i was scared i couldn’t give it to you on time so i asked him. did it not get to you?” you explained.

“i came home empty-handed didn’t i? also really, that dense fool?” his displeasure was obvious upon the new information you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “don’t look so disgusted, he’s not that bad.”

“sure, although you know what’s bad? that i don’t have my chocolates right now.” he crossed his arm, fuming almost looking like a child who got their toys taken. “alright enough of your pouting. we’ll interogate him later. for now, i seem to have leftover ingredients, i’ll make you a new one.” you approached him, combing through the back of his hair as you planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. he replied by pulling you closer as he nuzzled into your neck. “it better be good,” he mumbled.

at the end you didn’t even make it to 5 minutes before scara followed you to the kitchen, insisting that he made it together too because he was ‘watching over you so you don’t mess up’ but personally i think he just felt bad because you need to make a new one and wanted to help you any way he can. that’s something he’d never admit even if there’s a gun pointing at his head, though.

[yesimwriting]

Felix would wear best friend!readers shirts as crop tops

a/n the more i think about this, the realer it is,, here's a little shirt borrowing drabble to tide you all over as i finish a longer request

also pls excuse any typos,, currently have to write with a wrist brace 😭

----

"Oh my god."

Felix is leaning against the doorframe with an ease that implies nothing but innocence. His eyebrows pull together. "What?"

Despite his easy going demeanor, the last syllable of his question has his voice pitching upwards. The smile tugging at the edge of his lips confirms your suspicions. He knows. "You know what."

"I'm just waiting to be invited in."

You glare, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He leans closer, eyes begging you to believe that he has no idea what you're implying. With a sigh, you step back.

Felix accepts the space you provide, entering your room. You move to sit at the foot of your bed. "You're unbelievable."

He grins fully, sitting next to you. "What?" Felix sets a hand against your knee. "My shirt?"

"My shirt," you correct, "My favorite shirt, that I've been looking for."

Felix's thumb brushes against the start of your thigh. He already knew that this was one of your favorites, which was part of its appeal, but you have to be exaggerating. He's only had this shirt for a few days, and you hadn't mentioned anything.

He leans back, the too short fabric stretching with the motion, exposing more of his lower torso. It's not a scandalous amount of skin, but it's suggestive enough to have you keeping your focus on your lap. "No you haven't."

You scoff, ignoring the warmth attempting to crawl up your neck, "What do you mean 'no I haven't'?"

Felix fully relaxes, his back flat against your bed. "I've had it for days, and you haven't--"

"Days?" You turn your head, giving yourself a moment to just glare at him before laying down."So not only did you steal it, you remember when you took it?"

He tilts his head, looking at you through his lashes. "Stealing? Is that what we're calling it?"

You sigh. "Next time, just tell me before you take something."

Felix shifts onto his side, moving his hand to pinch the excess fabric of your shirt between his fingers. "Like you told me before taking this?"

Oh. You blink, lighthearted annoyance morphing into something more concrete. He's not wrong, technically. You are wearing one of his shirts, but it's not like it was intentional. Today, your priority had been being comfortable. It's not your fault he owns some of the softest shirts to ever exist and...it happened to smell nice. Comforting. Like Felix.

His fingers are still playing with the hem of your shirt. "You gave it to me awhile ago. It's different."

He twists the fabric, the material shifting enough to reveal the start of your hip. Felix hums in pretend contemplation. "Really? I gave it to you?"

"Yes."

Felix's fingertips brush against the newly expose skin. The contact is light, a barely there thing that makes it hard to keep breathing evenly. You turn your head, taking in Felix's appearance. The shirt's smaller on him than on you, more form fitting around his chest and arms than yours, and shorter. It doesn't look bad, though, if anything...

You straighten your neck, focusing your gaze on the ceiling. "It does look good on you."

"Yeah?" His grin is audible. "How good?"

You roll your eyes. "You already know you're hot, you don't need me to say it."

Oh. No. You feel your mistake instantly.

Felix's hand settles against your hip. "You think I'm hot?"

Despite the heat making its way up your chest, you continue to stare ahead. "I think that we're not in middle school and that this doesn't have to be a thing."

"No, not a thing, just two hot people--talking, stealing each other's clothes."

You groan. Felix laughs, his thumb dragging across your skin. He's insufferable. "I'm never being nice to you again."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains

[l22na4]

i’m gonna need you to tell me EVERYTHING about your s/o. like, everything. who liked who first? who made the first move? what’s he like with you???

miss violeta thank you i’ll be honored to respond this invitation you see(love u!!)

so……my dumb blond.

❄︎ who liked who first?

you’re asking the wrong girl (no you’re not, even maybe the most honest one). you know what’s funny. that’s the joke. that’s the tragedy. that’s the entire plotline.

he’d say me, i’d say him, pansy would say both, and blaise would just raise his brows like finally. but truly, it’s been there since the beginning in the worst possible way. the bickering, the tension, the way i used to rolled my eyes at him and he scoffed at me.

i think we started caring in canon. and i think we both tried not to fall. we failed beautifully.

❄︎ who made the first move?

technically me. technically him. technically war. technically a thousand missed moments that led to the one we finally couldn’t undo. we couldn’t. i couldn’t… I told myself it meant nothing. he kissed me like it meant everything. and then i said it would never happen again. it did. and again. and again. but all the little moves before that? the remembering things trough out those years i didn’t expect him to remember. yeah he did that. saying out loud he cared before i even admitted to myself. him again (unexpectedly).

❄︎ what’s he like with me??

you don’t want me to start, you really don’t (i say side eyeing with a smile.)

gosh. he’s so… he’s the worst. he’s insufferable. he’s smug and impossible. teases me like it’s his job, rolls his eyes and scoffs all that while staring at me like I hung the stars. he makes me furious.

and then… and then he turns around and asks why do I love that book so much followed by a meaningless ‘it’s not like I care’ just to make me say it. and then he’s different. so different. makes me laugh when I’m sad. or when he can’t find the words to apologized. it’s soft confessions before the morning sun hits where we’ll act like it didn’t happen, but won’t pretend like it didn’t. he can’t. I can’t. but also.. he’s tender with me. so much it ruins me. he has this way of saying my name like it’s something holy. the way he kissed the top of my head smiling. the way he mumble “the things i would do for you lina hudson’’ while im falling asleep on his chest. those small moments i made him truly himself and saw a whole new world. not malfoy. but draco..

…and me with him?

a disaster. a comedy. a full-blown poem about war and a thousand tenderness (*wink*). we’re not perfect. we fight, we care, we’re mess up, we’re idiots half the time. but we love each other like we were always going to. like we were meant to fight just to realized everything. its beyond ‘love’- but im shutting up..for now.

Im trying not to say too much cause there’s literally a post about it all in the oven (in my draft fighting with dust). im literally kicking my feet trying to not to say too much..!

[coloursflyaway]

Good Enough

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.000

Read on AO3

So, Edwin is in love with him.

Edwin loves him, and Charles genuinely never even considered the possibility of this, of them, before.

It might be because, back when he was still alive, his dad would have beaten the notion right out of him, but then again, his dad has been wrong about most things in his life, so fuck him.

So, Edwin is in love with him.

It’s… quite flattering, actually. To think that Edwin, who is beautiful and intelligent and educated, who can recite his favourite Keats poem by heart just as easily as tell you his favourite Mozart aria (it’s Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen from Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Edwin told him that, years ago), who knows spells and can read ancient Aramaic, who is the kindest, most brilliant person Charles has ever known, would love him.

Now, Charles knows that he is easy enough on the eyes, good with words and people, and has one hell of a swing if you give him a cricket bat, but the only reason he knows any Mozart aria is because Edwin showed them to him.

The only reason he knows Keats’ poetry is because Edwin would read them to him on slow, warm summer nights in the early 2000s.

The only reason he is here, is because Edwin let him stay.

So, it’s special, having someone like Edwin love him.

It’s fucking terrifying.

Because Charles is now holding the heart of the person he loves most in the world, and it’s a bigger responsibility than any he has ever taken on before.

He can’t fuck this up.

The thing is that nothing changes between them at all.

Charles isn’t sure if he expected it to, but what he is relatively certain about is that it most likely should. After all, it was an unexpected revelation, probably to both of them, definitely a shift in their relationship.

And yet, when Charles looks at Edwin, who is reading a novel whose name he cannot make out, curled up on the couch they have gotten for Crystal (and sometimes Jenny), he doesn’t feel different at all.

It’s still Edwin, his best mate, the boy that read to him when he was dying so he wouldn’t have to do it alone, who tries to smile whenever Charles shows him a new song he has fallen in love with, and occasionally fails hilariously at, who Charles would protect with his life and his soul and his cricket bat, no matter how high the stakes.

I love you the most, Charles thinks to himself, and smiles, because nothing about that has changed, either.

He has told Edwin that they would have forever to figure out the rest, and it’s the truth, technically speaking.

However, Charles doesn’t, because it’s Edwin and he has given Charles his heart and he doesn’t deserve to wait that long for an answer. It would be cruel in a way Charles cannot comprehend, and if there is anyone who doesn’t deserve more cruelty in their existence, it’s Edwin Payne.

The only problem with that fact is that Charles doesn’t know the answer.

He’s been thinking about it a lot, but the thing is, he’s never been in love before.

So he doesn’t really know what to compare his feelings for Edwin to, because, of course, they are greater than for anyone else, of course, Charles would sacrifice anything and anyone for Edwin, especially himself, of course, making Edwin smile is his favourite part of any day.

Because he loves Edwin, everything about him.

But is he, could he be, in love with Edwin?

Charles doesn’t know, nor does he know how to find out. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, but every novel he has paged through, every silly romcom he has watched, has been talking about butterflies in someone’s stomach, of seeing them in some new, golden light, of hearing violins playing when they speak, and Charles very much doubts that Edwin feels any of those things for him.

Otherwise he wouldn’t raise his eyebrows like that when he thinks Charles is being an insufferable little prick, he wouldn’t roll his eyes and tell him, “I know, Charles, you have told me a thousand times before”, whenever Charles brings up how much he wishes he could still taste things, or groan whenever Charles attempts to convince him to just try and let him put on some eyeliner.

(It’s just that Edwin would look so pretty like that, some kohl to bring out the warmth of his eyes, making them stand out even more than they do anyway.)

So all this talk of violins and sparkles and the need to give someone roses, if Edwin doesn’t feel that when he says he is love with Charles, then it’s pointless to consider, and anyway, those books and films describe people who have just met, not those who have known each other for twice as long as they were alive.

Maybe if he had just met Edwin, he would be hearing violins, Charles definitely thinks it’s possible.

Especially the violins in Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen.

“I just need some time alone”, Crystal says, putting on her jacket, while already opening the door. “And I am aware that that is a novel concept for the two of you, since you are basically attached at the hip, but for me, an alive human being, it’s really important to occasionally have a second of peace between almost dying and whatever we will have going on next.”

She stops to put on her shoes, almost falling over in the process, and Charles and Edwin share a look, a smile, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.

“Don’t follow me”, Crystal tells them, especially Charles, and it’s kind of cute, actually. “I’m going to get the biggest frappuchino Starbucks is legally allowed to serve me and I will not tolerate any ghostly company while doing that.”

Charles holds up his hands, still grinning, indicating his surrender in a battle he wasn’t aware they were fighting, and Crystal gives him a single nod before she walks out.

“So”, Charles starts, and turns around to face Edwin, who is already looking back, “what do we think this frappuchino she was talking about, is?”

Actually, there is one thing that changes between them after all.

It’s subtle, at least at first, but looking back, Charles isn’t quite sure how he managed to miss it for the few weeks that have passed. Maybe it was the shock of almost being forced to move on to the afterlife, the chaos of getting Crystal and Jenny settled in London, the fact that it seems to increase only slowly, incrementally.

Edwin has never been a physically affectionate person, completely contrary to how Charles is.

If it had been up to him alone, he would have hugged Edwin much more often, would have leant against him when they were looking through a book together, would have held hands to keep them from losing each other when things got hectic. But it wasn’t, and that was fine, so it was occasional touches instead, a hand on Edwin’s upper arm, his back, ruffling his perfect hair when he was doing something kind of dumb, kind of cute.

(That one always made him duck his head and smile, glance up at Charles through his lashes and allow a second to pass before he started fixing his hair again.)

Now, however, it’s… it’s not getting better, because there was nothing wrong with it in the first place, Edwin’s aversion to physical affection, but it is changing now.

It’s less that he initiates it, more than he allows it to happen more frequently. Sitting down next to Charles on the sofa instead of taking the armchair, allowing Charles’ hand to linger on his arm for a moment longer than expected, letting their shoulders brush when walking.

He’s not asking to be touched, not really, but something about it still makes Charles irrationally happy as soon as he catches onto it. Because Edwin deserves all the affection the world can offer, and Charles will always be here to give it to him.

So he reaches out in the morning, when the sun has just started to rise, and puts his hand on the curve of Edwin’s shoulder, right where it meets his neck, and points out that the clouds are turning the most beautiful pink. He throws his legs across Edwin’s lap when they settle down on the sofa at night, a book in Edwin’s hands, the tablet Crystal made him buy in Charles’. He pushes his fingers through Edwin’s hair, not to ruffle it, but just to pretend he can feel its softness against his skin.

It makes Edwin duck his head again, give Charles a little smile when looking up, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.

And thinks, I want to love you the most in every way you will have me.

“Jenny, I have a question”, Charles starts as soon as he has phased through the walls of her new butcher shop. It’s to her credit that she hardly reacts; the first time he had done that, she had thrown a meat cleaver right through his head. “What do you know about love?”

Instead of a knife, Jenny just throws him a weary look, an eyebrow elegantly arched. It makes Charles think of being scolded by the headmistress, a sensation that should be much more unpleasant than it is.

“Nothing”, Jenny answers and brings her cleaver down with a dull thud, separating flesh from bone, before looking up at Charles again. “No one ever knows anything about love and if they try to tell you otherwise, they are lying.”

There is a certain sense of finality in her voice and Charles knows he has been dismissed, no detention this time, but don’t dare to push it.

“Great”, he mutters, more to himself than to Jenny, “that doesn’t help me at all.”

“You should look at this, Charles”, Edwin says and turns the book towards him.

It’s late at night, Crystal having long since gone home and they are sat on the sofa, shoulders touching while they do their research. A new case has come up, and Edwin is trying to learn more about ancient Celtic runes, while Charles is pouring over a map of London’s underground; now, he looks up and at the page Edwin is showing him.

“We could add this to your bat”, Edwin explains, “it’s a rune for physical strength. Supposedly, it doubles whatever force you put into a hit.”

“Edwin, mate, are you trying to tell me I need help with hitting people?”

Charles is grinning, obviously teasing, and Edwin just scoffs, rolls his eyes.

And that is what Charles means; this isn’t birdsong and candle light, this is just how they always have been. This is what makes them them, even.

“Charles, do be serious”, Edwin replies, but there is affection in his voice, there is love. “I am perfectly aware that you can hit things very well, but that doesn’t mean that hitting them even better wouldn’t be an advantage.”

“I know. This is brills”, Charles concedes, and on a whim, nothing more than that, presses a quick kiss to Edwin’s cheek.

For a moment, he almost expects Edwin to admonish him, because this isn’t exactly something that they do, but instead he stares at him, before he ducks his head; Charles isn’t sure how he knows this, but if Edwin could, he would be blushing.

And it does something to Charles’ head, the thought that he would be able to make Edwin blush. It makes him stop dead in his tracks, look at Edwin not like he is seeing him for the first time, but like he could be looking at him for the rest of his existence and not get bored of it.

“Do you wanna do the honours of carving it? Since you were the one who found the thing?”, he asks just to say something, aware that his voice sounds slightly off, and thinks, I love you the most. I love you the most. I love you the most.

“Very well done, Charles”, Edwin tells him and clasps a long-fingered hand on Charles’ shoulder, peering down at the leprechaun he knocked out clean with his bat a few seconds before.

The rune really makes it pack a punch.

“I don’t think this will pose any further problems”, Edwin continues even as he crouches down to examine the passed-out form crumpled on the ground. He prods at it gently.

“It fucking better”, Charles replies, resisting the urge to pull Edwin away from the leprechaun, just in case that touching it might have some kind of magical side effect. “And if not, I’ll punch it right back out. I’ve got an Edwin Payne-improved bat after all, it won’t stand a chance.”

Just for good measure, he twirls the bat around once, twice.

This has always been one of his favourite parts of the job, the simple pleasure of knocking someone out before they get the chance to hurt his friends.

Edwin looks up at him from where he is crouching, and Charles grins at him, metaphorical adrenaline running through his non-existent veins still. He would punch out a bear if Edwin asked it of him.

Before he can say anything else, though, Crystal clears her throat from behind him, sounding decidedly less impressed.

“That’s really cool, yeah. New bat, I get it”, she says, walking around Charles so she, too, can see the unconscious leprechaun. “But you do remember that we actually wanted to talk to him, right?”

They get to talk to the leprechaun in the end, who turns out to be about as obnoxious as expected, but does admit to stealing the heirloom they were looking for for his pot of gold.

He even gives it back, but only after Charles has started twirling his bat again.

“And another satisfied customer”, Charles comments as they return to the agency, flinging his backpack into the corner.

“Client, you mean”, Edwin corrects, but still smiles at him, and pats the space next to him as soon as he sits down on the sofa. Charles flings himself down without a second thought, legs landing somewhere across Edwin’s laps, one of his hands settling on Charles’ ankles.

This is new, at least to some extent, and Charles loves it, the feeling of Edwin’s fingers on him. It feels right, somehow.

I just really love you the most, he thinks.

“Yeah, whatever”, he concedes and looks over at Crystal, who is watching them with something in her eyes that Charles cannot quite place. Not bad, per se, just…. Strange. “Doesn’t sound that good though, does it? And anyway, the most important thing is that they’re satisfied, right? Passed on right to the afterlife, no worries keeping them here any longer.”

“As if it’s only worries that could keep one here”, Edwin replies, his tone as dry as the desert, but making Charles laugh anyway. “We should be the best example for that.”

“You know what I mean!”, he shoots back, “It isn’t like with us, is it? Don’t think that the client was kept back by meeting the love of their life, were they now?”

It spills from his lips like nothing, without Charles thinking about it for a single second.

He’s still laughing, but Edwin’s fingers have stopped where they were gently stroking across the arch of his foot, and then Charles realises it, and for the first time, hears silence.

For the first time since they got back from Hell, they part when Crystal leaves.

The conversation had been stilted after Charles’...slip up? blunder? confession? and although it had been obvious that all three of them had been trying, it had been impossible to get things back on track.

So, Charles leaves with Crystal, telling Edwin he will walk her home, although that is something he has never done before, and Crystal lets him, although he is fairly certain she wouldn’t under normal circumstances.

She doesn’t need anyone protecting her from the city she grew up in after all.

“How do you know you’re in love with someone?”, Charles asks after they have walked in silence for a few minutes. He can’t think of a way to cushion the question, how to make it less awkward to ask, so he doesn’t bother with it at all.

“This is about Edwin?”, she asks, seemingly to clarify, and Charles nods mutely, not looking up at her. “I’m not sure. Especially not when it comes to the two of you. For Edwin, I could have seen from miles away that he was in love with you, even if he hadn’t reacted like he did when we first met. For you… you love him, anyone with eyes could see that, but if you’re in love with him, I think you have to figure that out yourself.”

“Do you know how it feels, though? Being in love?”, he asks, just in case Crystal can at least tell him that.

“I’m not sure”, she answers after a moment, then links their arms together, pulling Charles closer. “I think that’s different for everyone. But I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out what it feels like to you if you let yourself.”

He walks Crystal home, but when she asks if he wants to stay, Charles just shakes his head.

Edwin is back at the agency, and Charles isn’t sure exactly in which state, what he is thinking, and Charles cannot allow that. At least not for long.

What he does, though, is taking a little detour to the park not too far from their building.

It’s the first time he really pays it any mind, even if it’s most likely not the first time he’s been there, but now, Charles lays down on the grass, looking up at the night sky.

London is too bright for him to see many stars, but there’s a few of them; Edwin would surely be able to point out a constellation or two.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it.

Edwin isn’t here, and yet he is with Charles anyway, always, in every moment of his existence.

Sighing, he scrubs a hand down his face. There’s no way around it, it has to be now, and it has to be the right answer, the one he truly means, because Edwin deserves nothing but that.

No false hope, and no heartbreak that might be taken back along the line.

So, he thinks of Edwin, of his elegant hands and the swagger in his walk when he feels confident, of the colour of his hair and of his eyes, of the curves and slopes and sharp cuts of his face.

He loves that face, has seen it with every possible expression painted across of it, and still loves it.

The stars above are dim and partly hidden behind the clouds, so Charles lets his eyes slip shut, and imagines coming home to the agency and taking Edwin’s hands in his.

They would be just a little smaller than his own, his fingers slender and yet so capable, and if he could still feel, Charles is convinced they would feel cool against his skin.

He imagines pulling Edwin close and holding him like he has always wanted to, burying his face against the side of Edwin’s neck and pretending he can breathe in his scent. Having Edwin sneak his arms around Charles’ waist and cling to the back of his jacket, like he doesn’t want to let go again.

In his imagination, it feels a little like the hug they shared after being granted asylum on Earth, but it would be entirely different, because it wouldn’t be out of relief.

Instead, it would be just them, embracing to feel the other close.

And he thinks of pulling back from the hug, seeing Edwin smile and kissing the curve of his lips, nipping at them until he can make Edwin laugh and teasing his mouth open to lick into it.

It would be like kissing Crystal, kind of, only that-

Only that it wouldn’t be like that at all.

He runs back to the agency, as fast as his spectral feet can carry him.

Edwin is sitting right where he left him, almost like he hadn’t moved an inch since Charles walked out of the door, and he hopes to all deities he can think of that it isn’t so; knows, at the same time, that it is.

“Hi”, Charles greets, because he doesn’t know what else to say, and Edwin nods and gives him a smile, brittle and unsure and hopeful, all at once.

“Hello, Charles. Did Crystal get home safe?”, he asks, and it’s so painfully polite it makes Charles cringe.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course she did”, he responds, trying to figure out how to begin saying what he needs Edwin to know, but Edwin beats him to it.

“Did you mean it?”, Edwin asks, breathes out the question like he still has lungs to do so, and it’s in that moment that Charles is more certain of his answer than anything else he has ever thought, because Edwin sounds small, sounds vulnerable and breakable and yet so fucking hopeful, and Charles wants to pick him up and cradle him against his chest and never let go again.

“Yes”, he says, and it’s sunrise and violins and bouquets of roses all at once, it’s a single word that changes the world around them. “Kind of. Let me explain.”

And Edwin nods, sits back with his hands in his lap and all Charles can think about is that those same hands belong holding a book, resting on the top of Charles’ legs, which should be flung carelessly across Edwin’s lap, just because Charles wants to be near him.

“You’re the love of my life, no matter what”, he starts, crouching down in front of Edwin so he can take his hands; they look so lost. “You have been for decades. I love you the most of anything in the world. I will always love you the most. Every time I look at you, it’s just that on repeat in my head. I love you the most.”

He ducks his head, laughing softly, because it sounds silly now that he says it out-loud, but when he looks back up, there are tears brimming in Edwin’s eyes, making them shine even brighter.

His lips are parted and for just a moment, Charles thinks about kissing them.

“And you know, I still can’t say that I am in love with you back, because you don’t deserve a lie, but what I can say, what I can promise you, is that I could fall in love with you. And that I want to. More than anything.”

A single tear rolls down Edwin’s cheek, glistening in the dim light, and Charles looks at him, and thinks, I do. I am. I love you the most.

“Could that be enough?”, he asks, squeezing Edwin’s hands in his. “At least for the start?”

And Edwin nods so frantically that more tears spill over, wetting his face, and Charles can’t help but laugh; how strange to think that making Edwin cry for once is not his biggest fear, but something that fills his heart with joy to the point of bursting.

“Okay. Brills, that’s-”, he replies, and can’t keep himself from smiling so wide it would hurt if he was still alive. “So, um. Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you right now.”

Again, Edwin nods, and he is smiling, too, looks so happy that Charles thinks heaven must be overrated, because nothing in the whole of existence could compare to this.

He thinks of the scene he pictured in the park of holding Edwin close and how much in pales in comparison to this, to holding Edwin’s hands and watching him glow with love and hope and warmth.

And leans in to find out if the same is true for kissing him.

(It is.)

[yannig]

Koisenu Futari’s Kazu-kun: one step further into the amato-normativity discussion

So. What’s up with Kazu-kun. Why does he deserve his own post.

Kazu-kun starts as a background character, and then progressively becomes the third main character of the show.

And I love him. Which is not a small feat because I started out hating him. And all of it was very much on purpose.

Kazu-kun, I believe, exists as a vessel for the allo audience.

He’s there to asks all the questions the allo viewers are asking themselves, and then to learn and grow from the answers, and become both a friend to our protagonists and an ally to aroace people in general.

He exemplifies the arc the allo viewer would ideally go through while watching the show.

The thing about Koisenu Futari is, it’s a show made from the perspective of aroace characters, for aroace viewers. It’s about our fears, our insecurities, our experience with amato- and allo-normativity, our lives.

And it’s good thing! It’s a significant part of why I love it so much!

But it also means that it’s risking loosing it’s allo audience a bit. (I’d be curious to know how many allo people have watched this show at all tbh). Almost all the other allo characters in the show exist so our protagonists can experience being faced with yet another form of amatonormativity. Kazu-kun exist so an allo character can experience being faced with aromanticism and asexuality.

And it impacts his entire character, including and especially the flaws that made me hate him at the beginning.

Part of it is, of course, because a character needs flaws to grow out of, as the most basic way to write a character arc.

For example, he begins as the most Straight Man™ ever. He thinks Sakuko belongs to him because they dated in the past (are kinda technically on a break the situation wasn’t clear the expectations were very different), thinks cooking is easy and a woman’s job and of course doesn’t know how and thinks it’s perfectly normal because he’s a man, absolutely cannot fathom how a man could not be sexually attracted to a woman he’s even somewhat close to.

All those traits are flaws he will overcome as he grows and becomes a better man.

But part of it is also traits he needs to play his role well.

He is, for one, a very nosy character, with a strong sens of entitlement that means he’ll stop at little to get his answers. Which of course makes him absolutely insufferable at the beginning! I spent almost all of episode 4 wanting to slap him! But it’s a necessary character trait for him to actually ask out loud the questions the allo audience is quietly wondering about. If he was a proper and polite Japanese man, he wouldn’t be asking those questions, and therefore wouldn’t be fulfilling his role in the story.

And then he learns. All his questions and indiscretions get him somewhere, which is a much better understanding of aroace people. And with some luck, the allo audience learned with him, without needing to invade actual aroace people’s privacy!

(yes I’m still salty about ep4, why do you ask. just because it was narratively necessary doesn’t make it any less hard to watch)

To be perfectly honest, from a pure character development perspective, I think he changes a bit too quickly. But, well. The show is only 8 episodes. Also that’s my only complaint about this show.

He first learns how to cook, and most importantly, instantly apologizes to Sakuko for asking her to cook like it was nothing. This ability to 1) recognize when he was wrong and 2) apologize for it, is key in his whole development and one of the main reasons I’m ready to accept that he did a 180 so quickly.

Cooking, of course, if a synecdoche for every gendered expectation about couples. He’s not just learning how to cook, he’s learning that the things he was taught to expect from his future wife actually take work and are very much doable and enjoyable as a man.

Most importantly, he learns that romance is not the only register he can use to interact with women; in this case especially Sakuko. In fact, at the end of episode 4, he offers that since she is aroace, they could have a QPR together.

(the show doesn’t call it a QPR, doesn’t use the word at all, but that’s exactly what it is, both the actual arrangement between Sakuko and Takahashi, and what Kazu-kun offers to Sakuko)

So, big points for getting what Minori can’t seem to grasp in ep 6: QPR are not reserved to aromantics! Really important lesson that a lot of allies never learn.

In this specific case, I don’t think it would have worked, and it can very well be interpreted as him refusing to let go. I don’t think a QPR with the woman he’s still very much in love with is a good idea. And while he has learned a lot, he’s still pretty new to the whole thing, and I think he’d still have too many expectations that would end up hurting Sakuko.

And once Sakuko has taken the time to think about it and tells him no, not only does he listen, not only doesn’t he get upset, but he immediately reassure her that they are still friends and will keep being friends.

In that way, this whole journey of his allows Kazu-kun and Sakuko to get back the easy and joyous friendship they seemed to have lost when they broke up. Which is both the biggest and final proof of maturity on his part and the best thing he got from the whole adventure.

Once he understand that Sakuko and Takahashi are aroace and quite happy with it, he also becomes their first defender. He tells Minori off twice when she steps out of line, and is ready to correct one of their colleagues when he assumes that he and Sakuko are a couple. Good example of how to be an ally.

Faced with micro-aggression (or even overt and intentional aggression), minorities:

might get overwhelmed by emotions and are almost certainly more sensitive to it than allies

are less likely to be listened to if they correct the person, because they are a minority

often cannot afford to be angry or aggressive or anything other than incredibly diplomatic about it without being told off, a problem allies face a lot less

Hence why a big part of allies' job is correcting other privileged people. Great ally-ship, take notes everyone.

In conclusion, I said last time that Minori and Haruka exemplify how amatonormativity also harms allo people. I’d argue that, with all this:

Kazu-kun shows what allo people have to gain from getting rid of it.

(his best friend back, at least one new friend, a new vital skill, and a lot less expectations)

[sauron-kraut]

Get to know your Mutuals

Thank you for tagging me @perlen-gold! 🖤

What's the origin of your blog's title? @lvsifer and I were talking about a certain Middle-Earth cookbook with some truly funky recipes, unfortunately there were none for Mairon so we were like... What would he eat? He would definitely be into eating raw meat. Mettbrötchen are a German specialty, basically a bread roll with butter and minced raw pork (yes, you heard that right), preferably with pepper and red onions. So Mairon's Mettbrötchen was born - doesn't it just fuck phonetically?

Favorite Fandoms: The Silm fandom 🖤 I have never been truly active in any other fandom.

OTP(s) + shipname: Angbang (Mairon/Melkor). Most other ships I love/like are fucked up in a way that makes OTP sound wrong to describe them (not that an OTP can't have a fucked up dynamic of course!).

Favorite color: red, black, gold, rusty colors, yellow

Favorite game: Not a a gamer person.

Song stuck in your head:

Weirdest habit/trait? Super randomly talking to myself when I'm alone at home? Could be pieces of dialogue I'm planning for a fic, could be imaginary discussion scenarios with friends or coworkers... you name it.

Hobbies: Writing.

If you work, what's your profession? I'm a linguist specializing in language change, particularly grammatical change. I don't currently work in that field though; I work at a technical university in event management and student recruiting.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I'd work as a linguist and teach at university again.

Something you're good at: Learning languages quickly, imitating native accents in languages (other than English, probably due to my idgaf attitude when it comes to that, so have a weird mix of different accents in English mixed with a very slight German and Dutch accent. lol), teaching, public speaking, being thoughtful with gifts, cooking

Something you're bad at: Remembering birthdays, sometimes texting back, sometimes cleaning, MATH (oh god)

Something you excel at: being anxious, overthinking, understanding how languages are structured and applying this to learning them

Something you love: reading, poetry, writing, my apartment, partying, various altered states of consciousness from time to time, dancing, 80s music, techno, prosecco, cooking, food, Berlin, fandom, my mom, my friends, traveling

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: linguistics, language change, The Silm

Something you hate: coriander and water melon

Something you collect: Nothing really that comes to mind.

Something you forget: birthdays, appointments

What's your love language? The concept of love languages has its problems but if I just use this to describe how I do express my love: giving cute gifts, cooking for people, listening to them, open communication, spending quality time together

Favorite movie/show: LOTR and MANY more, show: DARK, Sense8, The Sinner

Favorite food: so many different soups, kebap, pizza, STEAK, schnitzel, peruvian food, birria tacos

Favorite animal: three-toed sloth

Are you musical? I know how to play the saxophone and I did so decently. But I wouldn't say I'm musical.

What were you like as a child? I have to quote @perlen-gold here: An insufferable know-it-all.

Favorite subject at school? German, English, philosophy, biology

Least favorite subject? MATHS. And PE.

What's your best character trait? I'm honest and good at communicating openly.

What's your worst character trait? Avoidant behavior, procrastinating literally everything

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? I would make the sun rise again so it doesn't feel like another of those depressing winter nights.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? I can't think of anyone I'd genuinely want to meet.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

elektra by @lvsifer. What a masterpiece. Also please have a look at the fanfics I recommended here!

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

Mairon by @lvsifer

So many more art from talented and skilled artists that I love, but I had to make a decision here and this one will haunt me forever 🖤

✨Tagging @crackinthecup, @cilil, @elevenelvenswords, @admirably-abhorrent, @tauw-nu-fuin, @peasant-player, @blauerregen and @lvsifer

[ultra-raging-ghost]

now that I'm thinking about it, not-bad/the corruption/pili2's whole thing is aimless people pleasing and I wonder if they're able to convince it that its evil it will literally self destruct or change completely but its just really hard to do because its not technically evil or good, its just kinda doing its thing and they don't like it. I mean bad chose to eat it so its not like its parasitic its more of like a mutualistic relationship*. At least in the long term where it thrives, that's what we've seen from ace and bads relationships with it so far.....

*from what we've seen the corruption thrives on connection and just being with someone and being able to spread, and its and aces relationship has kinda morphed into this thing where ace spreads it for fun and also gets to live his own life alongside it. Alongside this, you could argue that bads relationship with it is more parasitic but right now I'm working on the idea that he's submitted himself to it so he wouldn't be sad anymore and wouldn't have to feel the passage of time, so its beneficial to him, and the corruption gets to have a more down to earth attempt at connection with all the people bad is friends with, they mutually gain from this

this is probably nothing but actually thinking abt the relationship between the corruption and its hosts is super interesting

corrupted Pangi rambling under the cut but I didn't see it firsthand so it might not be right or as fleshed out vvv

i never rly watched Pangi when he got corrupted, but I kinda wonder if it didn't work out for him because he got into it for the wrong reasons. Again I didn't watch him firsthand when he was corrupted but from what I saw he didn't do well with it and expressed distress about it afterwards, I think mocha/pili/ace and bad both have like a deeper level of loneliness to them that having a thing live inside them and be a forever friend kinda helps with. I have to wonder if Pangi being a lifestealer, something from what Ive seen makes him really paranoid and kinda distrustful in new situations, made having someone on you all the time trying to be your friend and subdue these paranoid habits kind of insufferable to him. Its just not in his nature.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

pls read me for filth bestie: intj eldest daughter 🤓

ahhh. fellow intj. this one might be mean sorry. once again i am working on assumptions so disclaimer yadda yadda

intjs are usually known for being cold, calculated and intelligent as a result of introverted intution which is shared with your fellow NJ pairs and for the most part this stereotype is true. most intjs are gifted in early childhood and do well academically with good insight for pattern recognition. youve probably one point felt yourself to be better than your peers

the two way consequence of this being true is that you definitely have semi abysmal social skills. intj women(or just generally speaking fem presenting intjs) tend to make-up for this by capitalizing on their physical appearance in their later years if possible. intj men tend to be mildly insufferable because behaving that way is accepted as masculine and tolerable. this lack of understanding in relation to socialization comes two fold from your last function being extroverted sensing and your third function being introverted feeling.

like most introverted feelers you take things incredibly personal which wreaks havoc in your relationships. as you grow older and experience more things (and more trauma) your sense of basic sympathy allows you to overlook the things that you used to bother you day-to-day but you do have to actively realize that not everything that happens to you is a personal matter. in fact most things are not and your paranoia that they are worsens greatly under stress. a lot of shit has genuinely nothing to do with you

intjs are interesting in that they do actually get along with several types of people and tend to fall in the camp of open minded. you have a tendency to make quick judgements about people and you're rarely wrong on your first impressions but you sometimes allow them to cloud your judgement. you don't prefer leadership roles but you will handle them well when they are forced upon you which they often are as a result of you being technically competent and talented at compartmentalizing. how are u dealing with that one haunting impulsive decision you made btw

most often intjs get in relationships they can hide behind in some way. extroverts are ideal for this but it's mostly anyone who can comfortably shield them away from public scrutiny as they pressure of being around others is rather annoying to you though im sure you do fine. you've developed some specific culturally relevant social skills to keep you afloat but you need to recuperate more oftne than you care to admit.

you probably similarly had a phase of total hedonism in your late teens and young adulthood in a way that wasn't obvious to everyone else as you discovered your extroverted sensing and the concept of sensuality.

you have inadvertently developed a desire for validation of something you can't actually recognize. intjs are typically well accomplished in some aspect, but the validation you're seeking is actually entirely emotional and you will benefit a lot from realizing this. your ideal relationship is not someone who will simply shield you, but will allow you to be yourself and push you in areas you need pushing while fully understanding who you are and not who you are very good at pretending to be.

its fine to admit some parts of you are sloppy, irritable and irrational. the extremity you treat his part of yourself with is overblown in the first place and being around emotionally in tune people makes you self aware of this.

you date people you assume you'll have emotional control over and years later understand doing that is also exhausting you. the cycle will repeat until you can find someone who can view you with sincerity and all your flaws and acknowledge them without stepping on your toes about them all the type.

you can pretend that happy-go-lucky people exhaust you all you want but having at least SOME to balance you out is literally important to your nervous system. if dating a dumb himbo and the false sense of emotional security he gives you is what fixes you let it happen its fine no one else will be able to tell but them.

despite all of this, ultimately no one is harder on you than yourself which is why many people in your life forgive you for things most others would not. your expectations for your accomplishments as a result of your talents and somewhat your ambition suffocate you but your health is more important and it's fine to put those thoughts to rest eventually. not everything needs to happen at once for you

try not to let your perfectionism completely disconnect you from the one artistic hobby you have and work hard at that - it contributes more to your sanity than u will ever give it credit for and it is that deep. u can't pretend its not lol

it will be fine btw

[marianettes]

r/AmITheAsshole⠀ · ⠀10 hours ago dogeatdog410

AITA for biting my coworker?

Hi Reddit. Hear me out. I (20s) have this coworker (??M) who we'll call L (because his existence is an L + Ratio). Ever since I met him, he's been nothing but miserable to work with. Insufferable. You ever met someone who just gets on every single one of your nerves? Yeah. That's him.

I work pretty closely with another coworker (20sM) A, and one day we had this particular 'project' that for some stupid reason L needed to be there for too. Which fine, whatever. He technically has a job I guess, so I couldn't really complain. But it was TORTURE from the very beginning.

I wasn't even trying to pick fights with him, but he gave me no choice! It was that stupid smug look on his face. And his stupid talking about pointless things. He kept saying something about how the tragedy of idiocy was that an idiot will never know what they are. And that pissed me off, so I told him maybe he's right, because he doesn't seem to notice how much of an idiot he sounds like right now, and he gave me a dirty look.

Okay but eventually A had to go do something on his own and I was STUCK with this guy. Keep in mind that throughout this week I have already spent WAY longer in this man's presence than I'd like to spend in my entire life, so my patience was wearing thin. This time when he started talking.. I don't even remember what he said. It was dumb though, and I started arguing with him.

So then I bit him. AITA?

🔺 107 🔻 | 💬 214 | 🏅 Award | 🔁 Share

Comments Sort by : Top (default)

altacc28737⠀ · ⠀6 hours ago YTA. being annoyed does not mean u can just bite ppl wtf man 🔺 64 🔻

↳ mmmamamaria⠀ · ⠀4 hours ago ty there are too many ppl defending op here :/ biting people is NOT okay and never will be. there is no reason to hurt someone like that. if you're angry enough that you have the urge to lash out at WORK there's something wrong with you. 🔺 3 🔻

⠀⠀↳ clumsyparrot⠀ · ⠀4 hours ago You've never worked retail have you? 🔺 117 🔻

↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀2 hours ago You have NO idea how annoying this man is or what he's done. 🔺 -1 🔻

⠀⠀↳ altacc28737⠀ · ⠀2 hours ago example? 🔺 0 🔻 ↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀2 hours ago Existed near me. 🔺 -11 🔻

⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ clumsyparrot⠀ · ⠀2 hours ago Understandable have a nice day ✌️ 🔺 5 🔻

coolperson213⠀ · ⠀10 hours ago Needs more info what were you arguing about? 🔺 157 🔻

↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀10 hours ago Idk 🔺 -15 🔻

⠀⠀↳ coolperson213⠀ · ⠀9 hours ago How do you not know?? 🔺 45 🔻 ↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀8 hours ago I try to purge my mind of any memory I have of him so I don't have to think about him at all 🔺 -21 🔻

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ sdrawkcab_⠀ · ⠀8 hours ago that is insane but honestly i respect the commitment. i strive to reach this level of hater one day. 🔺 1 🔻

thelurkerrr⠀ · ⠀5 hours ago Honestly, these kinds of conflicts, especially the petty ones, are difficult but do need to be resolved. YTA here without a doubt but I think this is a sign to properly talk to your coworker and resolve this once and for all. Focus on communicating exactly how you feel, and try to understand his feelings too. Find common ground if you can, and try to be the bigger person.

It's not easy, but you can do it. I believe in you :) 🔺 567 🔻

↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀5 hours ago He sucks. I don't wanna do that. 🔺 -159 🔻

aventur1ne_⠀ · ⠀1 hour ago NTA. it was funny lmao 🔺 27 🔻

↳ dogeatdog410 (OP)⠀ · ⠀36 minutes ago Thanks. I don't need anyone else's input now. 🔺 3 🔻

📁 Archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast.

[insufferable-protagonist-poll]

Round 3

Propaganda why Walter White is insufferable:

It annoys me to watch this man succeed despite majorly messing up all the time in ways that would get him caught/killed. The premise of his character is interesting enough: a very intelligent man so completely drenched in toxic masculinity and pride that he continuously sabotages himself and ends up in ethical dilemmas because he couldn't accept help. I usually like villain protagonists and complex characters who girlboss too close to the sun, but after Walter fully embraces his role as a career criminal he becomes so one-dimensional I can't seem to care about his problems anymore. (The other characters really carry the show.) Also it feels unrealistic how much everyone lets him get away with for "being smart" and that nobody hates him enough to turn him in.

everything is wrong about him. truly the most insufferable mc ive ever seen and there still are people who think he's a good role model

literally if he could've just gotten over himself for 15 seconds the whole show would've been moot. horror show of a man.

Propaganda why Heywood Floyd is insufferable:

He pulled strings to be put on the crew and is kind of an ass to everybody

In the second book/movie, he's a huge jerk to Hal 9000, a character who technically didn't do anything wrong (he killed his crew in the first book/movie because of conflicting orders) Orders that Floyd claims to not know about....despite his signature being on them.

Also, he just sucks as a husband and father (in the 2010 movie, his kid actually sounds disappointed when Floyd says he won't die on his space mission) There's literally no reason I should root for this guy, (Hal ends up being the hero of the story in 2010 book/movie).

In 2061, he drinks water from a comet and.....let's just say it screws with his insides......and he's so insufferable, I laughed about it (as did people on two Discord servers, and it's now kind of a meme there)

Kind of smug and doesn't address his own flaws or the consequences of his own actions

He's smug and kind of an ass and says nothing was his fault when his signature was on the mission plan. An important plot is he put a cutoff switch in the ship's computer without asking anybody in a setting where a computer shutdown is Really Bad. He hides it from the crew and we are told this is heroic.

[skylarmoon71]

Patrick Jane (Mentalist) - Chapter 5

From the second he made the suggestion you should have been skeptical.

Then again, you did invite him to your house so you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Just close your eyes.”

“Jane, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

He insisted that he was trying to help. But it’s never just one thing with Patrick Jane. There is an angle he always works.

“I told you I could help you control it. Don’t you want to be able to touch people without acting like they have the plague.”

“I do but this is-”

“Just trust me.”

“Famous last words.”

“Hah ha, very funny. You’ll look pretty stupid when I actually do get you to control it.”

“Yeah, I’d look like a real idiot.”

Your sarcasm is expected. With a heavy exhale, you close your eyes. You have no idea what he intends to do. With your hands on your lap, you wait for instruction. He must realize that regular hypnosis won’t work on you. So you just wait. The second you feel him touch the top of your hand you pull away. You’re staring at him in fear and Jane lifts both his hands. You press your hand to your chest, breathing a bit shallow.

“It’s fine, everything is fine.”

You stand, sending him an accusatory look.

“What the hell are you doing, you said you were trying to help!!”

“I am. How do you expect it to be controlled if you refuse to use it?”

You shake your head, running your hand over your face.

“This was a mistake. You’re just messing with me. Trying to play one of your mind games. Trying to get into my head, is that it!!”

He rises and for a moment you think he’ll retaliate, but when he starts getting closer you panic.

“W-What the hell are you doing Jane stop!!”

He doesn’t and you back into the wall, forcing your hands behind your back. It’s useless, it’s not like that’s the only place he can make contact.

“J-Jane stop please I’m serious you can’t-”

His hand touches your cheek and you freeze, terrified.

“You have to learn to control it. Not block it out. I’d never do anything to hurt you. You know me.”

The intensity of his stare and the way his thoughts stream in are so different from all the other times you’ve ever unintentionally used your abilities. Your breathing has increased significantly, and you're still looking at him like a frightened deer.

“You have to train your body to hear it all, then pull them apart. Once you can do that, you’ll be in control. Do you understand?”

Swallowing, you nod slowly.

He smiles. He gives you a chance to calm down and you carefully remove your hand from behind your back. Now that you’re no longer shaking like a leaf, you try to be more at ease. Jane’s hand is still on your skin. It’s almost calming.

“It’s strange. It’s never been this quiet before. Usually I get them all at once.”

His grin becomes wider.

“That’s good. You’re responding to me.”

“This is so weird, you’re actually in my head Jane.”

“Technically you’re in my head.”

“Is this really the time for you to argue?”

“An argument indicates that someone is wrong. So that must be you.”

This man is insufferable.

“I heard that!!”

“Get out of my head!!”

He pulls away, clapping.

“Progress. You didn’t have a melt down. I’m a genius.”

“Are you kidding me, that was basically assault.”

“Meh.”

“What do you mean meh!! You’re such an asshole!”

“An asshole who is helping you control your supernatural powers. If anything I’m a hero.”

As annoying as he is sometimes, he is right. It’s crazy how calm it is. If you expected someone’s mind to be a mess it would be Jane. But it’s eerily calm. Like everything is tucked so carefully into place.

Jane raises a brow at your quietness.

“Hello, anyone there?”

He waves his hand in front of your face for a second, then lowers it. He thinks nothing of it when you step closer. Both your hands lift and you place them just behind his ears.

“Show me.”

A deeper tone rings in his head. You can see the way he looks less sure.

“Stop.”

You don’t heed his warning, because you need to know.

Why is he different?

What makes him immune and how the hell is he able to speak with you when no one else can.

“I said stop (Y/N).”

“No.”

His eyes become hard and he tries to pull out of your grasp, but you offer resistance.

“I need to know Jane.”

The frown on his face deepens and you close your eyes in hopes of putting all your concentration into figuring out this mystery. Your head lolls forward and you try to get past the barrier. It feels like there’s a wall. One you can’t break. You feel as though if you can just touch it then everything would make sense.

“I said stop!”

The echo forces you out of your trance and Jane is startled when your body is thrown back. You hit the ground harshly, sliding a few meters before your body comes to a halt. Raising unto your hands shakily, your eyes hold shock and a bit of fear.

Jane just watches, because there are very few words that can be used to explain what just happened. 

[offorestsongs]

Hello Algy! ♡

For the flirty prompt ask game, how about "I can't stop thinking about you" with Swallow and Azul?

Thank you! ♡

hiiii Sheepy <33

thank you sm for the ask!! actually, Swallow is 100% the type who would say all of those horrible/cheesy pick up lines lmao (is he serious? is he joking? the world may never know!)

once again, i got a bit carried away lmao

(ask game here!)

"Excuse you but I have more important matters to tend to that-" Swallow grinned. "Yes, yes, you always do, I know. But I promise, I'm not gonna waste your precious time." For his part, Azul didn't look too convinced. "For some reason, I don't believe you."

"Oh, come on! I just want to walk you to the Hall of Mirrors." Swallow held up his hands. "No ulterior motives, I swear!" He leaned closer to Azul and offered the other boy his arm, like any true gentleman wanting to take the object of their affections on a walk would. "So? Don't leave me hanging like that. That would be cruel, even for you." Azul looked at Swallow's extended arm then back at his face ― wide smile exposing sharp canines, dark eyes glimmering with joy ― then back at his arm. His brows furrowed (cute!) and Swallow had to stop himself from reaching out to smooth them over, like he did many times with Riddle. That would surely scare Azul off, even if the look on his face would be priceless. It was fine. Baby steps. "You say you don't have any ulterior motives, but it's hard for me to believe that." Swallow rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, I maaaaay have lied. There's one thing I need to talk to you about." "Ah. I knew it. What is it, then?" "Take my arm and I'm gonna tell you~" For a split second, Azul looked like he was going to leave. Then he cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses and with the look of absolute suffering on his face hooked his arms with Swallow's. Swallow preened. His tail happily swung in the air. "See, was it that hard?" He led them down the courtyard. Azul walked stiff, firmly avoiding Swallow's gaze and seemingly blind to Swallow's cheery aura. That was also fine. Azul just had a bit of a thick skull ― Swallow was sure he would get through it eventually. "Sooo... How was your day? Did anything fun? Any plans for the weekend, perhaps?" "I don't believe this is what you wished to discuss." "Yeah, it's not. But why do we have to get straight to business? C'mon. Let's chat a little!" Gently, Swallow swatted Azul's side with his tail. He didn't think it was possible for Azul to look away even more, but somehow, he did, turning his head to the side.

"I simply fail to see what you would get out of any of this. If this is a new way for you to torment me?" Swallow blinked. "What? No! I just want to get to know you better. Nothing's wrong with that, right?" "On technicality, no. I just don't understand why is that of interest to you." "Well, let's see..." Swallow started to count on his fingers. "You're cute and intelligent and funny when you aren't being insufferable and have pretty eyes and I can't stop thinking about you?" Azul sharply took his arm away. He took a step back. "It's cruel to joke like that." He kept avoiding Swallow's gaze, but his lips were pursed into a tight, pale line. "I'm- I'm not joking? Hey, I know we don't have the best track record but I would never..."

"No matter." Azul adjusted his glasses again. "What did you wish to discuss?" "Oh! Well! I know you're not really the sporty type but we've got a Spelldrive game on Friday and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come and watch me. No jokes, no anything. I swear." Well, alright, maybe he did also plan on pulling Azul into a sort of-maybe-kind of a date afterwards, but Azul did not need to know that. Not now, at least. "I'm not going to be your personal cheerleader, Swallow." Swallow's ears dropped. "Why not? You can watch me make Leona mad again. It'll be so much fun!" "You're a fool," Azul said, but in Swallow was sure he could see just the smallest shadow of a smile dancing in the corners of his lips. "Has somebody already told you that?" "Well, yeah, but you can always tell me that again on Friday. Deal?"

[mdhwrites]

I Am Getting Tired Talking About the Designs

It is the main thing outside of Clois that I see talked about with My Adventures With Superman. I’ve even seen someone call the show’s style so far as ‘hyper realism’ because of how they’re doing the villain designs which... *stares at the person until holes bore into their skull* And here’s the thing: I don’t mind people complaining about the villains technically. The fact that both Livewire and Slade feel kind of samey next to each other doesn’t help the fact that the show is struggling to give its villains time to shine. They risk slipping into a territory where they feel there as a part of the mandate of this being a superhero show rather than interesting entities unto themselves and I’d be okay with people talking about that.

Or how about the fact that so far none have had a REALLY good or interesting fight with Superman so far? Ivo is the best on both fronts so far but otherwise we’ve see Clark grab someone’s fist before responding with an attack three times now and one of those was against a robot. The only one he hasn’t done it to is Livewire and she doesn’t exactly punch, does she?

I had my brother bitch at me yesterday, if you don’t want to talk about the villains, about Jimmy’s stuff needing a little more fleshing out if he’s suddenly going to be mopey about the two getting together, especially after pushing Clark and Lois towards each other at first. That isn’t an unfair complaint and even in my last review, for as much as I liked the episode, I still admitted there were issues and lacking payoffs, especially with Jimmy. There are issues. This isn’t a perfect show, though nothing should be perfect because perfect is boring. It probably does need to take a breath though because while it is shockingly well paced, it is juggling a lot at once and it is concerning for when one of the balls may drop.

But like... Unless they’re just fundamentally getting the character wrong with no chance for growing into their design, can we just stop bitching about them? Parasite from my knowledge was originally a dude who was fucked up by an experiment and went “Well, they can’t cure me so I guess I’m evil” which is way less interesting than actually having his personality and his personal goals be parasitic to some extent so that they match his powers thematically. I’ve heard Livewire is a cocky, annoying bitch. We all remember the “Smartest person here” banter, right? That bitch with real powers, and irreversible powers as was foreshadowed by her veins, is going to be INSUFFERABLE. And Slade? The fucker is twenty years younger, minimum, than his comic counterpart and has both eyes and his battle suit in the title sequence fits his aesthetics so maybe cut him some slack because his cocky attitude now is clearly setting up for a GLORIOUS fall.

Of course, this is all assuming the show does well by these characters but at least right now they definitely have potential to become like their comic counterparts, especially with the question of how Silver Banshee is getting her screams back after Clark broke her mask.

So unless you complaint is more than “I want them to look exactly like my comic books!” maybe let an adaptation be, you know, an adaptation. I mean, so far the show fits exactly how DC has marketed itself since... I dunno, from what I hear the New 52? Especially in television because *gestures at all the DC movies* so I might not be a comics guy but I absolutely see why DC was okay with this as the rights holder because this is EASILY the most interested I’ve been in literally ANY of Superman’s rogue’s gallery. And no, I’m not a comic book guy but I see people comparing the two and you know my response when people bring up the differences in design? Most of the time I’m curious. Like what is Siobhan like when she looks like some genetically altered mutant or just a straight up alien of some sort? What’s the backstory there? But I also enjoy the cocky, wanna be supervillain of Siobhan in the show with her glam rock hair and raspy voice.

But I will admit that I don’t know the pain of adaptation too well. The closest I’ve come is stuff like Guardians of Ga’Hoole (which frankly is a shockingly good movie for how much of a mess adapting that series to anything would be) and Percy Jackson, where I only bitched about Clarisse because making Annabethe Clarisse was both more boring and narratively pointless because Clarisse is KIND OF IMPORTANT to the second book of that series, bare minimum.

Nothing here strikes me like that and if you disagree... Let me know. I see adaptations like this as a chance to both enjoy something and learn but frankly, EVERYONE bitching about the designs and nothing else is just making me tired and that’s making me not want to learn which means afterwards, I won’t dig deeper which isn’t that what you want as a fellow fan of the character?

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[witnessprotectionprogramurl]

0H0! who're these?!

OH HELL YES I GET TO TALK ABOUT EXOCOLONIST!!!!

ok so basically they're characters from a game called I was a teenage exocolonist. the game has a lot of stuff but it also has romanceable characters. this got very long so I'm putting it under the cut

the main character is sol (which is why they're in all the polyamorous relationships that exist with the romanceable characters). technically they don't have a personality of their own because the whole game is about making choices as sol so it wouldn't quite work yknow.

dys is the most perfect human being in space. sym is the most perfect alien in space. usually they kinda fall in love with each other even though dys should have been aromantic and to me he is. sometimes if you manage to interact enough with both of them, they fall in love with each other and with you (so sol bc main character). I can't remember how that ending goes tbh bc I got it a long long time ago but in my head sol, dys and sym stay in love forever and live happily ever after as trees or whatever.

now rex is also the most perfect human being in space. he's part dog also, not that that's relevant. the game never says it but he's aroallo and you cannot argue with me about it because you know I'm right. he's the best romanceable character because 1 he lets you hug him every season (technically you can hug him endlessly but like you only get friendship points for hugging him once per season) and 2 not only is he up for having a casual / open relationship, he also is fine with fucking as friends (the fucking is just implied btw like fade to black sort of thing), AND you can date him like. usual dating the same way you date everyone else in that game.

now marz is the most beautiful person in space. she is also insufferable for a while but I forgive her as long as she doesn't invent capitalism (canonically she usually invents capitalism yes). I love her she's done nothing wrong except for inventing capitalism. now the thing about her is that apparently no matter what she never ends up with a fixed partner (or so I've heard) and I think that's very aromantic of her. anyways she kind of always thinks rex is hot and gets together with him BUT if you date her first or rex first (tbh idk bc I always do the same thing and date rex and leave her alone god bless) then eventually one of them asks to make the relationship include them both. thus we have sol, marz, rex.

nomi (aka nomi nomi) is rex's best friend. they are canonically nonbinary and some flavor of aroace that is unclear to me because what the fuck is demi/ace supposed to mean like. is it demiro ace? is it demiace? what. but anyways if you keep bribing them to like you (as you do with all the characters) for all of eternity eventually they fall in love with you. I think. it's been a while I can't remember. they also fall in love with rex. so then we got sol, rex and nomi.

the reason why I hate sol, rex and nomi together is that nomi is aroace to me like non partnering aroace like they are so sex repulsed and romance repulsed throughout the whole game and then suddenly they're in love with their best friend who literally says they're like siblings earlier???? cmon.

anyways yes. thank you for asking me about my blorbos who I'm very normal about.

[adanseying]

crazy ex girlfriend for the fandom asks 💙

the first character i ever fell in love with: Rebecca how could it not be she’s one of the protagonists of all time

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I was pretty neutral on Nathaniel in s2-3 but dislike him more in s4, also I still like him but I liked Greg less after spending time in the fandom because even though I share the opinion of a lot of people who enjoy him and Rebecca more than her other m/f dynamics some of the ‘team Greg’ coalition could be insufferable about the level of focus they wanted for that.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: n/a

my ultimate favorite character™: Rebecca Bunch. Valencia is second I adore her

prettiest character: Valencia Perez

my most hated character: technically it’s Ted and Naomi, of the mains Nathaniel could pull here again more so in s4 than the previous seasons

my OTP: Rebecca x Valencia

my Notp: nothing really reaches that level of vitriol but Rebecca/Nathaniel and Heather/Hector would be my least favorites out of the primary pairings, former for the reasons I said and then the latter just seemed like a lame pair the spares attempt that didn’t do much for Heather’s character arc

favorite episode: Josh is Irrelevant is a perfect episode IMO but my most rewatched is Why is Josh’s Girlfriend Eating Carbs? so that’s my comfort ep lol.

saddest death: n/a

favorite season: s2! would say 2-3a if that counts

least favorite season: s4 but I still like it way more than most other tv / think it’s a decent concluding season, but yeah it’s the one I feel least compelled to rewatch

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Nathaniel doesn’t really count because he’s so polarizing and I can’t really think of an alternative

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: idk Audra Levine maybe? Rebecca herself could arguably count but I’m not inclined to be apologetic about that lolz

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: maybe Josh Chan he isn’t a fav-fav but I like him he’s a good I want the best for him.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: not really applicable I kind of like Rebecca x Audra Levine as an idea but I don’t feel guilt about it

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Greg x Rebecca